#kid!virgil

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

snakes and octopi give the best snuggles

Word count: 2,727 (wow, satisfying!)

Warnings: nightmares, brief descriptions of violence and gore, brief descriptions of kidnapping, spoilers for the movie Martyrs (2008), cursing, could be interpreted as u!Patton but he's more just young and foolish

Relationships: dark side family, focus on platonic anxceit and platonic dukexiety, no romantic ships

Characters: Virgil, Janus, Remus, Orange Side, Roman (mentioned), Patton (mentioned), c!Thomas (mentioned), Logan (mentioned)

The first Sanders Sides fanfiction I've finished writing in nearly 4 years!!! Woohoo!

Note: part of this is inspired by the beginning of Alice In Wonderland (2010)

“I really don't see why that's such a big deal.”

A snake crossed his arms from where he leaned against the counter. A hot-blooded short fuse paced across the living room carpet.

“You should be able to! He thinks he's so high and mighty, trying to take as much creative control as he can for himself! It's absurd!”

“On the other hand, giving too much control to You-Know-Who could be disastrous.”

“Good! Maybe those three need a wake up call, Janus! They get to sit on their fucking diamond-encrusted thrones all day while we rot in this putrid basement!”

Janus stood up straight, letting his muscles tighten slightly, “my job is Self Preservation, and the best way to keep our Centre’s mental health at its prime right now is to let them walk all over us.”

The other side narrowed his eyes, “and what's that going to do in the long run, huh? Make their high horses’ legs even longer?” he stomped over to the deceitful side, poking his chest, ”shove their heads even higher up their own asses?!”

“What it'll do in the long run,” Janus clenched his fist, “is for us to begin influencing Thomas when he's at a less busy stage in his life. Intrusive thoughts and dark creativity aren't good for adulting, Wrath. Be reasonable.”

“I'll show you how to be reasonable-”

“Guys?”

Orange and Yellow both shrieked at the small voice, whipping around to see Gray looking at them through the bannister, blanket pulled around his shoulders and his hair a mess.

“God, we need some sort of alarm for when you pop up…”

Janus glared at Wrath and turned to look at the youngest side, his expression softening.

“Another nightmare?”

Anxiety nodded.

“Come on then,” Janus took the boy's hand and led him back up the stairs, but only after calling a quick “you're burning up!” over his shoulder, and Wrath immediately ran to get himself some ice water.

Janus sat at the boy’s bedside, silently watching as he pulled the covers up to just under his eyes and laid back to rest his head on the pillow.

“Come on then,” he reached onto the floor and grabbed Anxiety’s favourite bat plushie, passing it to him, “tell me what happened.”

The small side hugged the toy as tight as his little arms would let him as he began to recall the events of his night terror.

“I-I was on a stage, in front of millions of people… we were performing some sort of comedy.”

“We?” Janus chimed in, “who else was there?”

Anxiety paused for a second and grimaced as he focussed on the memory, “well there's Thomas, a-and… the light sides.”

Deceit made a rumbling sound of acknowledgement in the back of his throat, hand gripping the bed sheets.

“And… they hate me,” he pressed the bat plushie to his face, “s-so much. They say I'm bad, a pest mist.”

“Pessimist,” Janus gently corrected, though his thoughts were somewhere else entirely.

“Yeah, that… and…” Anxiety’s trembles grew, “and…”

Janus shushed him softly, “hey, hey,” he opened up his arms, an invitation, “it's alright, spiderling. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.”

The child shook his head and crawled into the hug, breathing out as strong yet gentle arms enveloped him.

“No, no, I-... I wanna.”

The elder side nodded.

“I, um, so I tried to fix the problem by quitting the show, throwing in the towel, all of that…”

“Yeah?”

“But t-that made them even more mad. They chased after me, broke into my room,” Anxiety tightened his grip on Janus’ shirt as more tears welled up in his eyes, “they took me away from you, and w-wouldn’t let me see you ever again!”

Janus swallowed.

“Impossible,” he whispered, “they would never be able to keep us away from you, my dear. We'd tear down every wall in the Mind Palace to get you back.”

The child went still, his breath catching in his throat.

“Virgil?”

Silence.

“I know you’re awake, sootywing.”

“You’re gonna be mad…”

“You don't have to hide anything from me, honey. It's just a dream.”

“W-well…” he swallowed, “in the dream y-you did try to get me back at first. But then…” fresh tears messed up his eyeshadow even more, “then you said that things were better here without me, that- that-”

Janus stopped resisting his urges, allowing his other 2 pairs of arms to wrap around the small side.

“Never,” he hissed fiercely, rubbing Virgil's back and holding his face in his hand, “you could never make things worse, my little raccoon.”

“They said the opposite,” the other whispered, voice still shaking but less so now that he was in one of Janus’ super-special-super-rare hugs, “that I just make Thomas's days worse, that I'm a burden on him that needs to be controlled, that-”

“-is absolutely not true,” Janus finished for him.

“Is it though?”

Janus frowned.

“I-in the dream,” Virgil continued, “after you guys left me with them for a while, I s-started to get used to being with them a-and eventually,” he hiccuped, voice thick with guilt, “I was happy with them.”

“Sweetheart…”

“I'm sorry!” Anxiety sobbed into his chest, “I don't know why it happened, I-”

Janus laid Virgil back into his bed, tucking him in with his bat plushie and gently wiping away his tears.

“That was just Stockholm Syndrome, honey.”

Virgil tilted his head to the side in confusion, and Janus melted a little at the pure objective cuteness of the small action. This kid wasn't just his spiderling, his black kitten, his baby bat, his raven, the Dark Mindscape’s little hidden butterfly, their raccoon… he was now his little black lab puppy too.

“It's when a hostage sympathises with their captor,” Janus explained, “It happens often. And remember, this was all a dream, it doesn't mean you would actually feel that way if it happened.”

The kid nodded and took a few deep breaths, blinking slowly before looking back up at the older side.

“D-do you think I'm bad?”

“Oh, darling,” Janus leaned down to press a kiss to his kid’s forehead, “we're all bad here.”

Virgil leaned up to trace his little fingers along Janus’ scales, and Janus gently took his hand in his own and kissed it too. Virgil smiled a little at that, and the sight was enough to fill Janus’ heart with joy for weeks.

“Well,” he mumbled under his breath as he pulled away, “that's what Morality thinks.”

“What was he like? Before the split?” Virgil heard him anyway. Janus forgot the kid had near-superhuman hearing.

Janus leaned back and thought for a moment, “at one point, we were very close. Back before he decided that lying is never good,” he frowned slightly, “we used to… bake cookies together, things like that.”

“Could we do that?” Virgil piped up, “bake cookies? It sounds fun.”

The yellow one smiled, “of course, hun. Just make sure Duke doesn't try to put glass shards in the batter.”

“Or Wrath with the hottest hot sauce?”

“Yes, that too.”

Janus looked around the room absentmindedly, eyes eventually locking onto the terrarium containing his baby’s baby tarantula.

“You know, if those light sides are ever mean to you, you could start feeding Charlotte fatter worms.”

“Why?”

“Because. She'll get bigger, and bigger, until one day she looks like Shelob…”

The snake side leaned down so that his face was inches from Virgil's, and smirked.

“...and you can set her after them to gobble them up!” Janus scuttled the fingers of all six of his hands along the boy’s sides, mimicking the movement of a spider’s legs, making the child shriek with laughter.

“Hahahahaha! Stop! S-stop! Janus!” He gasped out between giggles.

Janus eventually let him go (though only after having thoroughly enjoyed the angelic sound of his kid’s unbridled laughter) and sat back up, looking down at the little jumping spider with a smile he would never let anyone else see.

“Do you feel better now?”

“Mhm,” he nodded, “thanks, J.”

“It's my pleasure,” he murmured, reaching out to cup Virgil's face for a moment, green and purple eyes meeting yellow and brown ones, before standing up and walking towards the door.

Right as he opened it, Virgil called out to him again.

“Janus?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

He melted even further at that.

“And I you,” Janus breathed out, voice and face full of fondness, “more than you'll ever know.”

Virgil's eyes shone along with his smile, and Janus took in the sight for a moment before switching off the light.

“Try and get some more sleep, hopefully with dreams full of fluffy spiders.”

“Night, Jan.”

He shut the door gently.

As his door shut, Virgil's room was cut off from the light in the hallway and plunged into pitch darkness. While he didn't mind this at all, he wasn't the slightest bit tired anymore, and it was hard to read books in the dark.

He reached behind his pillow and grabbed his trusty flashlight, fiddling around in the darkness until he found the ‘on’ button.

When he finally turned it on, the first thing he saw was a mad face inches from his own.

“Hey Virgie.”

Said side immediately screeched and whacked the intruder on the head with the torch, already hyperventilating.

“Remus, oh my God!” he shrieked, “I thought you left here when I fell asleep last night!”

Having already recovered from the blow, the Duke sat up and shook his head, specks of blood splattering on the bed sheets and walls.

“Nope! I've been here all night pretty much!”

“What? Where?!”

“Well,” he suddenly turned shy, ”you know how you've been having problems with that monster under your bed?”

“Of course,” Virgil groaned.

“I know, I know, but listen to this! There's a portal under your bed that leads to my room!”

“You can come in here when my door is locked?! When I don't want you to?!”

“Well, not anymore. Now that you know it's there you can lock it whenever.”

“Oh,” Anxiety breathed out and nodded, “that's okay I guess.”

“So!” Remus started, “while you were asleep I portaled to my room to get some stuff and…”

The Duke reached behind his back and pulled out a DVD case, shoving it right in Virgil's face.

Virgil read the title on the front of the case and gasped, “Martyrs? Remus-”

“I know! I was able to get a copy dubbed in English too! The movie just came out so I think it's a great find!”

“But-”

“And, like, Virgie, I know you can speak French for some reason and all but frankly the language sucks and I want to focus on the gore instead of the subtitles.”

“Remus, it's an 18+ movie!”

“Yeah!” He grinned manically, “you're 8, I'm a teen, and there's a plus because it's premium, just for us! Come on, let's watch it! I know you're wide awake after that nightmare.”

“Oh!” Virgil bellowed, “so you were here when that happened and you did nothing! Great! Thanks! You're such a good big brother!”

“I didn't wanna make it worse!”

“And why would that happen?”

“You were sleep-talking.”

“...Oh.”

“Mhm.”

There was a moment of tense silence.

“Any-fuckin’-way,” Remus hopped up from the bed and turned on the TV on Virgil's dresser, “Martyrs time!”

They were both sitting on the floor, Remus hugging Virgil from behind with his chin resting on his head.

“Jan and Wrath were talking about you when I went down.”

*Really?” Remus mumbled as he continued to stare at the screen, watching in awe and admiration as Lucie shot each member of the family who tortured her.

“Mhm,” Virgil nodded, “something about creative control.”

Remus froze as he processed the words, scrambling to pause the movie before staring down at his friend, “what did they say?”

“Uhh,” Virgil’s mind blanked for a second as he continued to look at the screen, which had been paused on a frame of the dead daughter, “someone trying to take it away from you?”

Remus stayed silent.

“And then they called you Dark Creativity?”

“I-” he stuttered.

“And then they said there were 3 light sides instead of 2-”

Remus pushed the words out as quickly as possible before Virgil could interrupt him again, “I’monlyhalfofCreativityandtheotherhalfismybrother.”

Virgil stared at him blankly as his brain slowly dissected the jumble of words just thrown at him.

“You're… not all of Creativity?”

Remus shook his head, not wanting to speak for one of the only times in his life.

“...How?”

“Well… the reason we're all split into light and dark is because the original Creativity split first. When Thomas was around your age he got too Christian and decided all the fun stuff was bad so it was forced out and voila! It made yours truly. And then Morality decided to split all of us off.”

“Why?!”

“I dunno, for funsies I guess.”

“Huh… So is your brother the one trying to take more creative control?”

“Eugh, probably.”

“Don't like him then, I'm guessing?”

“He's the worst!” Remus hollered, “all glitter and ponies and magic godmothers! The only ones who die on his side of the Imagination are villains!”

Virgil gasped, “is that why I'm not allowed in the Imagination alone?!”

“Yeah, but don't go snooping around now that you know that! And don't let Wrath or Janus know that you know about my twin!”

“Why?”

“They wanted to wait til you were older so you would understand. The split is behind us, Virgie. It's the past. And you came after it. You being a dark side from the moment you formed was the start of our perfect family. You don't need to dwell on something you didn't exist to see.”

“Okay,” Virgil nodded and then giggled, “way to bash the entire subject of History there.”

“If you learn from it you can't repeat the best bits!”

Virgil laughed and relaxed into his friend's hold as he unpaused the film.

Both of them stared at the screen as the credits rolled.

“Keep doubting…” Remus echoed.

Virgil hummed in thought, “what afterlife would make someone want to go to it, but for others to not know what it is?”

“Maybe if there's none at all?”

“But then why would she want to stop living?”

“Because she knows all the work she's done torturing people til their last breath was for nothing, and that life really has no meaning at all?”

“No afterlife is boring though, Remus. Surely you agree?” Virgil turned to look back up at him, “wouldn't you want it to be some sort of Lovecraftian hell?”

“Oh, I would love that, you know I would. But, y'know,” the Duke sighed, “Occam's razor gotta cut us out of our skin and bleed us out until we're dried skin suits and a pile of bones.”

“Eugh.”

“Yum.”

“Ew!”

They both giggled. Virgil shifted until his back was pressing into Remus’ chest and he closed his eyes with a content sigh. Watching the goriest movie ever made with his insane best friend really tired him out.

Remus crossed his legs to wrap them around Virgil and tightened his hold. A surge of violent protectiveness coursed through his veins as he thought back to the conversation between him and Janus he had eavesdropped on.

“Hey, salticidae?”

“Hm?”

“If those light sides ever do try to Beauty And The Beast ya or some shit, you can call me to come and help you through the portal!”

“...Oh!” Virgil’s eyes lit up, “that's a great idea! As long as you bring some weapons with you.”

“For you,” Remus grinned, “I’d bring only my best.”

When Janus and Wrath recovered from their screaming match and went to check on the youngest, they were met with a sight that was immediately placed into the family photobook.

Virgil was curled up into a ball while hugging his bat plushie close to his chest, letting out tiny high pitched snores. Remus was wrapped around him with all 4 limbs plus his tentacles, letting out much bigger, grosser snores.

Ironically, being cuddled by the embodiment of intrusive thoughts was a great way to get rid of nightmares.

And, for nearly a decade, everything was perfect for the little dark family.

Until, like the twisted shadow of a Disney Princess, Virgil's dream came true.

[noblest-roman-of-them-all]

What the Cat Dragged In

Being a parent is hard. Sometimes kids ask hard questions and sometimes parents panic and tell absurd lies that ultimately lead to their kids punching someone at school for calling them stupid after jumping to a decently reasonable conclusion based on said lie. Logan is at least there to support Janus through the ordeal and help clear things up a little for Virgil.

"Hello, Roman," Logan answered the phone, already weary to see the call coming from Roman's personal number instead of the school's.

"Heeeyyyy."

"What happened?"

"Virgil's fine," Roman replied with enough forced casualness to make Logan pinch the bridge of his nose. "Everything's been taken care of, it's all been settled, absolutely nothing to worry about, but, um. Well, he sort of punched someone today. Um. While I was getting the kids started on their projects."

Logan blinked. "I-I'm sorry. What happened?"

"Um. Virgil punched another student," Roman said again. "I mean, between you and me, I think he had it coming because he's been a, uh, bit of bully to literally everyone here, and I do mean everyone-"

Logan sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Roman-"

"No, it's okay, he didn't, like, draw blood or anything, the principal already called the other kid's parents, no fire there, everything is totally fine in that area, um, Virgil was pretty upset at first-"

"Obviously, he punched someone," Logan rolled his eyes. "Do you know why?"

"Uh, yes. So I was giving the kids back their trinket dishes we've been working on so they could check them over, make sure they didn't want to change anything and one of the kids saw that Virgil's had 'Artemis' written in it and he asked about it, then Virgil told him it was a gift for her. The other kid then told him that Artemis and all the other gods weren't real and called him and you and Janus stupid. And said that you lied to him, so Virgil punched him."

Logan sighed. "Okay, well, I just got off and I'm coming to pick him up now. Is he okay?"

"Oh yeah," Roman assured. "We went to one of the Calm Spaces talked for a little while once he felt ready to do that, um. Frankly, I didn't understand it all, um... Apparently the dish is because he wants to ask Artemis for a brother? Which...I-I don't know. But just so you have that heads up because, like, I don't know...what all he knows, um. But I guess he think he was brought to you by cats? Which I thought was Freyja's thing, but he swears it's Artemis's. But, you know. There's that."

Logan groaned and massaged his forehead. "Well, thank you for taking care of him. And for giving me a heads up. I'll be there soon."

"Drive safe!" Roman chirped.

Logan hung up and for a moment sat in the car rubbing his forehead and trying to recall if Virgil had mentioned anything specifically about Artemis recently that might have caused all of this. He sighed as he turned the car on and began pulling out of the parking lot; while he'd often spoken to Virgil about the existence of the gods, he'd never once brought up that Virgil needed to do anything about it. He was only six, after all. And really what he shared was simply because of Virgil's curiosity and his not hiding his beliefs from him.

Sure, Logan has his own little alter in the apartment where he placed offerings and whatnot, but aside from Virgil asking if he could give dandelions to whichever deity he happened to remember the name of that day, he'd never brought up the idea to him.

He shook his head as his hand drifted to the necklace tucked into his shirt and briefly closed around the snake pendant there, half wondering if this was Loki's idea on getting him to learn to embrace chaos.

---

"Hey, munchkin," Roman crouched beside Virgil. "Dad's on his way now. Are you sure you don't want me to put your dish up somewhere safe?"

Virgil shook his head and continued to hold the packed trinket dish to his chest with one arm while he munched on his apple slices with the other. "No thanks."

Roman nodded. "Alright. The rest of the kids are going to move to the library after this for games and reading. Do you want to go with them or hang out with me till Dad gets here?"

Virgil paused. "I think I wanna stay with you today."

"That's totally okay," Roman assured and ruffled Virgil's hair. "I'm going to finish wrapping up everyone's dishes, okay?" He slid onto the bench across from Virgil and set to work.

"Uncle Roman?"

"Yeah, stormcloud?" Roman half glanced up from the dish he was folding up in newspaper.

"Do babies really not come from cats?"

Roman let out a breath. "Uh, well, honestly...babies come to their parents in a lot of different ways. And sometimes people aren't even babies when they meet the family that's going to raise them."

"Really?" Virgil questioned, clearly surprised.

"Well, sure," Roman shrugged. "Batman adopted Robin when he was eight years old. That's two whole years older than you are now!"

"I know Bruce Wayne is Batman, Uncle Roman," Virgil rolled his eyes.

"You're right. Bruce Wayne adopted Dick Grayson when he was eight years old," Roman snickered. He double checked the name carved into the bottom of the dish before taping it off and writing the name on the paper while Virgil munched thoughtfully on his apples.

"Uncle Roman?"

"Yes, Virgil?"

"You have a mom, right?"

"Yeah, buddy. Your dad is my brother so we have the same mom, remember?"

Virgil squinted at the wall. "And Bobby has a mom."

Roman froze, hand mid air as he reached for another dish, dreading where the conversation was going. "Yeah, that's right."

"And moms are where babies come from."

"...More or less," Roman agreed, willing Logan to come pick up his kid and put him out of his misery already. "Usually, yeah. Something like that."

Virgil nodded, apparently pleased with this confirmation. "I thought so," he said and took a bite from his last apple slice.

Roman blinked. "Is that...it?"

"Mh-mn," Virgil nodded.

"O-okay. Um. Glad I could clear that up for you."

---

"Hey, gremlin, your dad is here," Roman announced.

Virgil glanced up from his color page and squinted at Roman. "You told him not get me in trouble on the phone, right?"

Roman snickered. "Yes, I told him that everything was taken care of and not to worry about that, and you know not to punch people anymore, right?"

"Yeah," Virgil sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Okay, let's head up front to meet your dad."

---

"Hey, sunshine," Logan greeted his child, who came barreling into him, and kissed the top of his head. "You okay?"

"Uh-huh. Uncle Roman helped me feel better."

"I'm glad he was there to help you. Do you have all your stuff?"

"Uh-huh. Can Uncle Roman come home with us? I wanna show him where my stuff dish for Artemis is gonna go."

"I know you're excited about that, but I don't think Uncle Roman is done working yet."

"But school is all done and he's a teacher," Virgil objected.

"You're right, school is over now. But you stayed after school for a little while, right? Well, teachers usually have to stay even more after school to make sure everything is ready for the next day," Logan explained.

"That's boring and tired," Virgil announced.

"You're right, it is," Roman agreed and ruffled Virgil's hair. "I'll come over later and see it. Besides you still have your bobby to share it with, remember?"

"Oh yeah! We gotta go, Daddy! Bye, Uncle Roman!"

"I'll see you tomorrow, Virge." Roman clapped Logan on the shoulder. "Good luck."

---

Logan hoisted Virgil onto his hip in front of the long shelf that functioned as his covert alter and Virgil gently set down the trinket dish.

"What do you think? Do you like it there?"

Virgil nodded. "Do you think Lady Artemis will like it too?"

"Y'know, sweetheart, I have found that when we give gifts thoughtfully and sincerely, that makes the gods happier than anything. I'm sure she'll love it." He kissed Virgil's cheek and set him on the ground again. "Is it okay if I ask what made you want to give her a gift specifically?"

"Well, you told me that she likes cats and they're her hunting helpers and Bobby said that cats brought me here and I thought that maybe they were her hunter helpers that found me as a baby and brought me here cause you said she likes babies too and tries to help them too. So I wanted to make her a special gift so maybe next time she found a baby her hunter cats could bring him here too and I could have a brother. Like a trade."

Logan blinked. "Bobby said what?"

"He said that cats brought me here and that's why people say 'look what the cat dragged in' cause cats dragged me in and it was so surprising that people started saying it about other people too."

"Oookay..." Logan rubbed his face, briefly pushing his glasses up onto his forehead. He let out a breath and readjusted the frames. "I see why Uncle Roman was confused now. Um. I...will let you know when Bobby comes home so you can show him your dish, because I know that's very important to you. Um. But for now....I- You can play in your room for a little while and after you show Bobby your dish and tell him how special it is we can work on your homework. Sound good?"

Virgil squinted up at his dad. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. But I probably will talk to Bobby for a little while first because, um, I'm also confused about something and I think he can help me be...less confused. I hope. Um." He rubbed his forehead. "Yeah, I- Hoo... I have so many questions for your bobby. But I will absolutely make sure that you get to talk to him. Okay?"

Virgil continued to squint suspiciously, but nodded. "Okay, if you say so."

---

"Hey, Janus-"

"Oh hey, babe!" Janus smiled brightly to be greeted at the door by his husband and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hi," Logan smiled patiently. "I- I love you, I do. I love you so much and I recognize that you just got home and, um, you work in a pharmacy and that- that's a customer service job and I get that, but I-I need to ask you something."

Janus frowned. "Yeah, what's wrong?"

"Did you tell Virgil he was delivered to us by cats?"

Janus's eyes went wide. "Ah." He scratched behind one ear. "I...may have said something similar. Yeah. Why?"

"I'm going to show you something and in a few minutes when I bring Virgil in you are going to pretend not to have seen this." He carefully pulled the dish from the shelf and held it up, pointing at the name carved into the center. "This is a trinket dish Virgil made in after school. He made it for Lady Artemis as an offering so her cats, which he assumed brought him here because of what you told him, would bring him a brother."

"Whoops."

"Cats, Janus?" Logan demanded and replaced the dish. "Couldn't you have at least gone with something traditional like storks?"

"Would that actually be less upsetting to you?"

"I don't know at this point, honestly. All I know is that Virgil punched a kid today because he was explaining why he made that for Lady Artemis to Roman and some kid told him she wasn't real and Virgil was stupid and I was lying to him."

"...I don't know how you want me to respond to that." Janus grimaced.

Logan rolled his eyes. "We are not encouraging violence, Janus."

"I'm just saying, I bet the kid's gonna leave him alone now. And I mean, you've said yourself even Aphrodite is a war goddess."

"Janus..." Logan sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"Okay, I'm sorry," he held up his hands. "How can I fix this?"

"We have to tell him the truth," Logan shrugged. "We were always going to have to tell him, I just...wish you hadn't told him something that ridiculous."

"I panicked! And then I kind of assumed he'd forget."

Logan arched a brow. "It's Virgil."

"Yeah, I should have known better," Janus admitted. "I am sorry."

"I know," Logan sighed. "I just- cats? Really?"

"You're not going to let that go, are you?"

"No. I'm not. It's so out of pocket!"

"You're literally a polytheist and there are literally two goddess you've talked about being over similar domains of fertility and childbirth with cats for their sacred animals, I don't think it's that far out there," Janus deadpanned. "I realize that's not a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice."

"You're lucky I love you," Logan grumbled.

Janus snaked his arms around Logan's shoulders. "How lucky?" He asked coyly and stole a kiss.

Logan smiled and slid his arms around Janus's waist, pulling him slightly closer. "You really think you can cute your way out of this?"

"I mean, it's worth a try, right?"

"I don't think it is," Logan shook his head. He kissed Janus again anyway. "We need to figure out how we're going to explain this."

"I mean, he knows what adoption is. Remus took care of that by rewatching Batman the Animated Series with him. We can just use that. He doesn't exactly need to know about the surrogate thing right now, does he?"

"We can't lie to him again, Janus," Logan answered. "That wouldn't be fair to him. What would we tell him later? That we lied about adopting him because it was the easier than explaining the truth when he was lied to?"

"I guess you're right," Janus murmured and pulled his arms back, folding them over his stomach.

Logan sighed and slid his hands up to Janus' biceps. "We don't have to explain your medical history to him, but…I do think we need to tell him the truth about using a surrogate. Better that then having to rehash all this when he's older. He may not appreciate our honesty now, but he will when he's older."

Janus nodded and rubbed his face. "You're right. I know you're I just…"

"It hurts," Logan filled in. "I know. It's okay if you don't feel up to being in on the conversation-"

"No. No, I was the one who lied to him, I should be the one to talk to him."

Logan gently took Janus by the face and kissed his forehead. "I'll be with you the whole time."

—

Janus knocked on the door frame to Virgil room. "Hey, sweetheart, Daddy said you had something you wanted to show me."

"Bobby!" Virgil popped up from his pile of legos and ran with open arms to his bobby.

Janus smiled and scooped him up, kissing his cheek. "Hello, little love. Did you have a good day at school?"

"Well, I did during school time. After school time I got in trouble for hitting," Virgil admitted.

Janus held back a snicker. "I appreciate your honesty. Daddy let my know one the other students had said some pretty mean things to you."

"Yeah. It made the angry feeling too big and it came out my arm."

"The angry feelings tend to do that," Janus nodded sagely.

"Yeah, they almost came out of my mouth too cause I wanted to call him mean names back, but instead it came out of my eyes and made me cry."

"I want to call people mean names when they hurt my feelings too. I'm proud of you for not doing that. It can be really hard to do."

"Yeah," Virgil sighed heavily, sound far too world weary for his six years. "Specially when the mean names are true."

This time Janus did snort. "Honey-"

"It's true!" Virgil objected.

"I know, sweetie. I didn't mean to laugh, I'm sorry. Would you like to show me what you made now?"

"Yeah!" Virgil quickly squirmed out of Janus’s arms and dragged him by the hand to the little altar. "It's up there!" He pointed then held up his arms. "Can you help me reach?"

Janus snickered and picked him up again, standing close to the shelf for Virgil to reach. Once he'd pulled the little dish from its place Janus carried Virgil to the couch and sat with the boy on his lap next to Logan. "Alright, tell me aaaalll about it."

"It's a stuff dish. We made them out of clay that didn't need to be cooked cause the school doesn't have a clay oven thing. I painted mine so it looks like stars for Artemis so her could maybe bring me a brother with her hunter cats. That's why her name is on the inside so she knows it's for her. Does that make sense? Daddy and Uncle Roman said they were confused when I told them."

"You know, sweetie, I think it's my fault they got confused," Janus told him.

Virgil's little face scrunched in confused. "You didn't even tell them things."

"No, but I told you something. Remember when you asked where you came from and I told you cats dragged you here?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well…that…wasn't really true. It wasn't fair of me to lie to you and I am very sorry I did, Virgil. I wasn't expecting you to ask about how you came to us and I panicked a little."

"But how did you find me then?" Virgil asked curiously, apparently unbothered by Janus's admission.

Logan squeezed Janus’s hand.

"Your Aunt Minerva helped," Janus told him. "You remember when your cousin Emile was born and Aunt Minerva's tummy grew and Daddy explained that babies grow inside some people till they're ready to be born? Well, Daddy and I can't really do that. So we went to the doctor's and they took some special cells from me and Daddy and made sure they were safe in Aunt Minerva's body and then when you were ready to be born we all went to the hospital together and you came home to live with us."

"Ohhh. Does that mean hers is my mommy and my auntie?"

"There is a special word for when someone helps a couple have a baby called a surrogate mother," Logan explained. "But she's not exactly your mommy."

"So it wasn't hunter cats?"

"No, sweetheart."

"Oh. Does that mean Artemis isn't my mommy either?"

Logan blinked in confusion. "What?"

"Uncle Roman says babies come from moms and if I didn't really come from Lady Artemis with her hunter cats that makes her not my mommy."

"Not-" Logan sighed. "She didn't literally send you to us with her cats, but I do believe she heard me praying for a baby and maybe she helped make sure that you grew safely and were born safely. She may not be your mom in a literal sense, but it's okay if you think of her like a mom."

Virgil nodded sagely. "I like that idea. Do you think she could send me a brother the regular way still?"

"I think that's probably something your bobby and I need to talk about first. We want to make sure we can take care of you and any other kids we might have. It doesn't usually happen really fast. I don't want you to think that just because you don't get a brother right away that that means Lady Artemis didn't like your gift, alright? I'm sure she likes it very much, this type of thing just takes a long time."

Virgil nodded. "That makes sense," he said seriously. "It took a long time for Emi to be borned. Do you think she could send me a hunter cat instead? Or maybe just a regular cat?"

Logan coughed a little to hide his laughed. "It never hurts to ask."

"I'm gonna go draw picture of the hunter cats so I can ask for one," Virgil decided and squiggled off of Janus’s lap then scampered off.

"I'm incredibly proud of you," Logan said once they were alone, squeezing both of Janus’s hands tightly.

Janus mustered up a smile for him. "Thanks."

"Are you okay?"

Janus let out a shaky breath and nodded. "I will be."

[lily-janus]

The Job Is Never Done

Order up! For @icycove ! For the Sleepy Bean Fanfic Cafe' event on @tsspromptmonth , who wanted, human AU fic with protective single dad!Janus and kid sides~ 3-5 kiddos of the writer’s choice! Any mix of ages. Just him keeping them safe from harm/danger in any context/setting (Author’s discretion if the other non-kid sides are present!). Hope you enjoy!

Summary: Janus is a retired hero who thought he was done saving people, spoiler alert: he was wrong.

Characters: Janus, Logan, Remus, kid!Virgil, kid!Patton

Word count: 1,839

Trigger warnings: fighting, explosion, fire, Remus is a bad guy, mild Remus innuendo like really mild for him, mild cursing, let me know if I missed any^^

Janus enjoyed retirement. Don’t get him wrong, he loved being a hero and using his powers to defend those without, but he had trust in the new heroes and he himself had gotten tired of the constant fighting and stress that came with the job. He’s done enough for the public, now he can enjoy a quiet life for himself… Or so he thought.

His phone rang urgently… not his personal phone, his work phone, used in hero-work related emergencies, the hero agency knew not to call him up unless there was no other choice.

suppressing a sigh, he pushed a button on the phone, indicating he received the call and was on his way and quickly blurred his features with his powers as he went to the main hero agency headquarters.

It was chaos.

People running around in all directions, yelling orders or questions all around, no one even seemed to notice that Janus had arrived. Which was disappointing since Janus did kinda miss making an entrance as a famous hero, but no such luck today.

He finally spotted Logan, the head of the agency and the most likely to not freak out in a midst of a crisis, and navigated through the chaos to get to him.

“What’s going on?” Janus asked Logan, matching his fast, yet controlled, pace.

“Serpent! You’re here, good, I apologize for interrupting your well earned retirement but I trust you understand this must be urgent.” Logan said, voice as neutral as ever.

Janus nodded, waiting for Logan to continue. “There’s been a jail breakout… From Dark-Side.”

Janus stopped in place, “...The Duke?” He asked, fearing the answer, Logan nodded and Janus cursed in response.

“It took me years to catch him! How did this happen?” Janus asked, trying to stay calm.

“We don’t know yet, but right now we have employed every registered hero to help bring the prisoners back in, seeing as you’re the one who brought in a lot of these villains in the first place, it seemed necessary to call you for help.”

Janus nodded, now understanding the situation, “where do you need me?”

-------------------------------------------

“Well looky here who’s slithering back from retirement, finally got bored, old man? Missed the action? Missed me?” The Duke smirked at him.

Janus rolled his eyes, “you wish, I’m just here to clean up your mess… as always, so why don’t you save us both some time and surrender? We both know how this is going to end anyway.” He smirked back, refusing to let his fatigue show, he’s been running around all throughout the country, fighting villains, familiar and new ones alike, helping where he can, The Duke was the last one left.

“Playtime’s over, Duke, time for a nice, long nap back in prison” Janus said, sending a fist of energy towards his stomach that The Duke stopped with his tentacles.

“Not yet, Daddy,” he licked his fangs theatrically, “still got some tricks to show you!”

Janus smirked, he wanted Duke to block his attack, now he was open in the back for another hero to strike him and, hopefully, immobilize him without his tentacles interfering.

He saw the other hero preparing to attack the villain from behind, but they both froze when they heard an explosion, followed by screams… children screams.

He looked back at The Duke for a moment, debating on what to do, he was smiling knowingly at him… he planned this… Damn him!

“Catching me or saving innocent kids, hero? What’s it gonna be?” And with that, he turned away and started running.

cursing, Janus ran in the other direction, towards the explosion, the hero he was working with close behind.

“I’m sorry, Serpent… I wasn’t sure what to do-”

“It’s fine, let’s just save those kids and report back to the agency.” The hero nodded and they split off again as they reached an exploded building about to collapse… No, not just a building, an orphanage.

There was a fire inside from the explosion and the screams were coming from inside it. “Clear out the street, I’ll go inside and rescue whoever I can.” He said to his and the hero’s communication device.

“Got it, be careful.” The hero’s voice came through in response.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he surrounded his body with an energy outline that would protect him from the flames, and rushed inside the burning building.

He looked in every room, trying his hardest to keep his focus on his energy shield while doing so, fortunately he had a lot of practice with this particular shield trick seeing as it was very useful in battles. He finally found a group of frightened kids, coughing violently from the smoke and looking with terror at the ever approaching flames.

He manifested an energy surface beneath them, breaking the outside wall with an energy fist and slowly, and carefully sending the kids hovering in the air and slowly lowered them to the safe ground.

That done, he made sure there wasn’t anyone else in the building, before getting out himself just a moment before the building finally collapsed, luckley the streets were cleared so no bystander got hurt.

Janus was a second away from collapsing himself… he was done for the day.

------------------------------------------

The following day, Janus went to the hospital to check on the orphans he rescued, as he waited, he was surprised to see Logan approach him, rather than a doctor.

“Logan? Why are you here? Were any heroes injured?” Though, if that were true, they would probably be at a special hospital for super powered individuals, not here.

Logan looked uncharacteristically hesitant, before shaking his head and just gesturing for Janus to follow him, “it’ll be easier to show you.” he said.

Anxiety rising, Janus followed, he worried something happened to one of the kids… but then what does this have to do with Logan and the hero agency?

As they got closer to the room, the air started feeling strangely cold, like winter weather but inside… then he saw… Purple lightning? He looked curiously at Logan who just nodded, he didn’t imagine it then.

Inside the room was a storm… literally, storm clouds gathered over the ceiling, flashing with purple lightning, thunder following soon after.

On the patient bed stood a boy, not over 10, face angry yet determined, a younger kid cowering behind him.

“No one touches my brother!” Yelled the older boy, purple lighting emphasising his words. The doctor and nurse standing helplessly to the side.

Janus understood now, this wasn’t a normal orphan, it was a super powered orphan… Just like Janus was, and it’s possible the younger brother was one too.

“Can you aid in calming him down? He won’t listen to anyone and we can’t get close enough.” Logan asked pleadingly.

Janus nodded, approaching the child slowly, making eye contact with him and putting his hands up in surrender. He put his energy shield around himself and didn’t flinch when lightning tried to hit him, his energy shield deflecting it instantly.

The storm calmed down a bit as the boy noticed his softly glowing, yellow shield and looked at him curiously.

“Yeah” Janus smiled softly when he reached the bed, “I have powers too, like you do, I can create and manipulate energy. What about you? Can you do anything other than creating storms?”

The boy regarded him cautiously, shooting a glance at his brother.

“I’m not gonna hurt you or your brother, I’m a hero, I’m the one who rescued you, remember? You probably don’t recognize me without my super suit, though.” Janus said calmly. “What’s your name?” He persisted.

There was a moment of silence as the boy regarded him, then the storm dissipated, “I’m Virgil… This is my brother, Patton… I don’t know what my powers are… this is the first time I did this…” The boy, Virgil, said quietly, not meeting Janus’ eyes.

Janus nodded, powers usually start manifesting around the age of 10, for some even later. “Nice to meet you, Virgil, I understand this is scary for you but the doctors need to check you and your brother are healthy, it’s for your own good… Will you let them do their job?”

“...Could you stay?” Virgil asked, blushing slightly from embarrassment.

The question took Janus by surprise, but he smiled warmly and nodded, “I’ll stay.”

The doctor was finally allowed to get close to Virgil and Patton and he did all their necessary check ups, Janus sitting next to the bed the entire time.

When the doctor finished, Logan called Janus outside and he excused himself, promising Virgil he’ll be back.

“Janus,” he started, using his real name since he was out of costume, “those kids can’t go back to the orphanage, they need constant professional supervision.” He stated and Janus nodded in agreement. Logan took a deep breath, “would you adopt them?”

Janus stared at Logan in shock for a long moment, did Logan really just ask that?

“Very funny, Logan, you do have a sense of humor after all!” He smiled awkwardly, but Logan didn’t join in. “C’mon! You can’t be serious!”

“I’m always serious.” He said calmly, gesturing for his necktie as if it were proof.

“You want me to raise two innocent, super powered orphans? Me?” He repeated, still not believing this was happening.

“Yes, you have powers that can be used to protect you or the kids which would help as they learn to control their powers, you’re an experienced and trustworthy hero, you started off as an orphan as well, I can think of no better person for the job.” Logan explained calmly.

“B-but… what about The Duke? He’s still out there! He’ll be after me! It can put the kids at risk!” He scrambled for reasons against Logan’s proposal, he’ll be a terrible father he just knows it… it’s too much of a responsibility.

“The agency and the heroes can deal with The Duke, and, even if he comes after you, I know you’re more than capable of protecting the kids, more than any of the newer heroes or anyone from the agency. I honestly can’t think of a better option.”

Damn Logan and his logical arguments!

“...You don’t have to, of course, it’s your choice, you more than earned a quiet retirement without taking care of anyone but yourself.” Logan said with a small, genuine smile.

Janus was ready to refuse, but then he glanced at Virgil’s frightened form on the bed through the window, and suddenly he couldn’t bear the thought of giving him to someone else without knowing how he and his brother are doing… how had he grown attached to these kids so quickly?

They remind you of yourself��

Janus sighed, damn his soft heart… “I’ll do it.” He said eventually.

Logan looked relieved, “thank you, the agency will support you with any financial aid you might need, and a secure location all three of you can live in comfortably.”

Janus nodded, wondering what he just got himself into…

[tsspromptmonth]

Okay, one more and then real life needs my attention. :D

I would love a steamed milk latte with heavy cream or 2%, barista's choice, with anything syrups but cranberry. (Maybe a kid's size cranberry syrup and a splash of hot chocolate on the side.) [Human soulmate AU with fluff or hurt/comfort, any characters but Virgil as a partner, kid!Virgil with a parental!Side would be fun.)

Comments are from

@lost-in-thought-20 and @nadiestar's London Godfather (Prologue) archiveofourown.org/works/44530450 Lost's Seek the Man That Hydes Within archiveofourown.org/chapters/14917403 , and @thevioletcobra's Sanders Sides One-shots archiveofourown.org/chapters/14525595

Order Up!

The Sunshine After It Rains by @typically-untypical

[edupunkn00b]

Happily Ever After Masterpost

Logan Sanders thought he had secured a fairy tale ending when he married Kelly Croft, mother to his first child. Perhaps Logan should have spent less time in the non-fiction sections and more time reading actual fairy tales.

Has he truly lost his chance for a happily ever after or were the first twenty years of his adulthood just the prologue to the real fairy tale?

Spotify Playlist - [ AO3 ]

Chapter List

Once Upon a Time

It Was a Bright Cold Day in April

A Queer, Sultry Summer

The Sun Did Not Shine

Happy Families

A Pleasure to Burn

All This Happened

The Past is a Foreign County

Ships at a Distance

Next story in the series: Objections

This was overdue. When I started posting Happily Ever After on Tumblr, I didn't really know what I was doing and didn't anticipate just how hard it would be to find these posts again.

[treenissanderssidesstuff]

Adorable!

"Mama! Its too big on me!" "You look so cute!" "I look stupid..."

some child Virgil with off-screen mama Janus!

@thatsthat24

[strdstwanderer]

Non-Marvel fictional characters who would be perfect as Spider-Man:

Edit: I can't believe I made this without adding Wally and Ace

[suckmyarschkarte]

.🥹🥹🥹

[ravenlikesbooks]

Which instrument I think each side would play (and why)

because I'm a bored band kid who has plunged back into hyperfixation

Logan: Clarinet. It's sleek and professional. While flutes have the reputation for being perfectionists (and let's be clear, we are), clarinets are close behind. They're also one of the core instruments in a concert band, loathe as the other sections can be to admit it.

Roman: Trumpet. Loud and bold, constantly competing with the saxophones for dominance. If a trumpet plays even a little bit in a piece, you will hear it. There is absolutely no missing them.

Patton: I'm gonna place him over in the euphoniums. The low brass is the backbone of the band, and the goofballs too, but euphoniums tend to be a lot more.. tamed than trombones and tubas (at least in my band).

Virgil: Percussion. Everyone forgets about percussion, even the percussion. A lot of band class is spent with the percussion just chilling in the back half asleep while the other sections work out their issues, and that's just how they like it. Despite this, they are essential. Literally nobody would be able to keep tempo without them, even though they're supposed to be counting.

Janus: Flute. I say this as a flute player: pretentious ass bitch. Flutes like to pretend to be calm and collected, and are gracefully floating above the rest of the band. Despite this, they can be the most chaotic people… just not when the band director is watching. Pretentious perfectionist teachers pets (affectionate)

And finally… Remus: Alto saxophone. CONSTANTLY competing with the trumpets to be the biggest, loudest, most obnoxious section. Why did I put Remus on saxophone and Roman on trumpet as opposed to the other way around? Simple. Saxophones have reeds, and reed players hate changing their reeds. They will play on the most damaged reeds imaginable. A saxophone in the current senior class at my school literally played on half a reed for an entire six months. It was almost completely black from mold. They are TERRIFYING!

disclaimer this is all just for fun please be nice (': also if you play one of these instruments and I insulted your section I'm very sorry but this is all in good faith and I literally called myself a pretentious ass bitch so...

(if you're finding this through the sanders sides tag, please reblog this version with the latest updates!)

[emoprincey]

"But the orange side being anger would be too obvious !!!" u guys know Sanders Sides isn't exactly know for its groundbreaking plot twists, right?

[cosmicmouseart]

Superhero Static Shock 🎵

[lil-toastie-boi]

tiny like 8-9 year old Virgil!!!! Janus is the one offscreen :3

quick! show me your design for one of the sides as kids!

i’ll go first :)

[tsspromptmonth]

i have a hankering for a small (500wc) parental gods AU featuring any combination or subset of Logan/Janus/Remus/Patton. Extra olive oil (err, I mean crack, taken seriously or not)

Skim the images lightly, spoilers abound!

Comments from the final four chapters of Nail in the Coffin by @dndeceit and for Without You by @typically-untypical

archiveofourown.org/works/47020870 ; archiveofourown.org/chapters/108372439

Order Up!

A Time of Gods (And Men!) by @thewickedcompanion

[edupunkn00b]

Objections

It's 2001, Seattle, Washington.

Janus Pater has fought every obstacle - literally and figuratively - to survive as long as he has. Logan Croft is a young father and is married to his old college girlfriend, Kelly. Their law professor's flippant partner assignment has forced these two disparately orbiting men together.

Roman and Remus Prince are sophomores at the associated undergraduate college. To their fellow students, they're identical, however they approach life and solve their problems in very different ways.

Somehow, (most of) their paths cross in one way or another. Buckle up, because it's a bumpy ride.

Objections takes place chronologically before Happily Ever After but should be read after and contains spoilers for that story.

Spotify Playlist - [ AO3 ] Rated: M - CW: domestic abuse, swearing, homophobia, slow burn roceit, slow burn platonic loceit, referenced self harm, referenced suicidal ideation, consent questions, villain OC

Chapter List

Assumes Facts Not in Evidence Pt. 1

Assumes Facts Not in Evidence Pt. 2

Assumes Facts Not in Evidence Pt. 3

Ambiguous

Best Evidence

Hearsay

Asked and Answered

Speculation

Argumentative

Relevance

More Prejudicial Than Probative

Cumulative Evidence

Compound

Non-responsive

Privileged Communication

[chirp-featherfowl]

wanted to practice doing poses without references so naturally i drew janus from sanders sides. Again.

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Thank for the tag! Here's a snippet from a Sasi fic I've been working on:

“You…protect me?” Virgil asked tentatively, cautiously. Puffball leans down, brushing his forehead against Virgil’s own. The fluffy alien lets out a gravelly rumble. Virgil’s whole body is still, unmoving. Even his thoughts are sluggish, like a river reduced to a trickling stream.  He has met nice aliens. But aliens who were only “nice” when the bad aliens were away. Never nice aliens who would willingly protect him from bad aliens.

Anyone who wants to join in, consider this an universal invitation!

Rules: Make a new post and post the latest line your WIP. Then tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like).

Tagged by @jessicas-pi and @kazoosandfannypacks and an assortment of others, but I'm only just getting around to responding lol! From a story about some of my OCs that I'm playing around with for fun

“If I go into hiding and change my name, I do it on my terms, not the government’s.

Ooooh I probably can't tag 18 people but I'll do my best: @laughingphoenixleader @hecckyeah @ana-cantskywalker @musewrangler @winterinhimring @fairytale-lights @singswan-springswan @seleneisrising @misscrazyfangirl321 and anyone else who sees this and wants to play!