#technoblade crack

[icara-mack]

bunnyblade on the SMP what will he do Once again joined @sixteenth-day-event for a v cool prompt <3 Went with the extreme events: switching dimensions prompt!

[lil-cherubim]

Emerald Duo : Delegates of the Antartic Empire WIP!

Yall know that fear where you made a good sketch your hyped for and then lineart somehow fudged it all up!

Yes im havin that in a grande with this one!

[angelscherryblossoms]

tcsfv image

You were casually walking down the streets of L'manburg one dark night when you felt a strong hand grasp your arm. Within moments, you had been dragged into an alleyway by the Siren himself, and he held a knife to your neck. Dream, the #1 hero, stood by, wanting to rescue you but also not wanting for you to get hurt. "Siren, let the girl go." Dream commanded.

"Hmm... no."

You didn't know what to do. So you interrupt their conversation with a yell. "distraction tactic!" Then you kiss Siren. It wasn't a rough kiss but it also wasn't a peck. It was a light kiss and when you pulled away Siren and Dream were both in shock that neither of them went to stop you as you moonwalked out of the alley way and back into the streets of L'Manburg. "...." "...." Silence... "WHAT THE FUC-" Siren shouted *later* Wilbur went home. When he opened the door his dad, Philza, was in the kitchen making tea as his twin brother, Techno, and his younger brother, Tommy, were watching some thing on tv in the living room. Wilbur was still in shock and just slumped onto the couch. His family stared at him "um.. mate are you ok?" Philza asked. All three of his family members now standing in the living room, looking at him. "is it normal for a hostage to kiss you?" Wilbur asked, looking at them Lots of questions were asked that night

[elbowreveal]

Hey guys what do you think of these creatures

[anarchy-and-piglins]

for sky kid techno, hear me out

ABSOLUTE BANGER

[nomsfaultau]

You like fae tricks? Itty bitty Tommy? Power rivaling gods wielded by idiots who’d be outwitted by bugs bunny? Then I got a story for you! Featuring SBI + Kristin, this is a funny, fluffy, sometimes creepy crack fic about the most ridiculous ways to outwit the fae.

(Summary blurb:) The King of the Winter Court ventures to find a new child for their home. Fortunately, Philza happens upon one he likes. Unfortunately, Tommy is impossibly adept at twisting his way out of fae tricks, and Philza can’t tell if it’s pure genius or stupidity. Philza does eventually learn his name; only problem is the boy learns his. Shenanigans naturally ensue. Meanwhile, Technoblade and Wilbur are determined to get Tommy back, and Lady Death is more than happy to help. The pair discover they fit a little too well into the fae world, yet all three are acutely aware that one slip up and the humans will be adopted trapped forever. Whether it be illiteracy or eating sand, each new antic Tommy, Technoblade, and Wilbur employ to avoid eternal capture always leaves Philza and Lady Death crying Lord, what fools these mortals be!

[tearysunshine]

this is so funny to me im so sorry

(PS: @consistentinconsolablescreaming thank you for having tags)

[auroramoon-draws16]

Fuck it, crossover that shouldn’t exist time

Here’s another Assassin’s Creed crossover, but this time in Minecraft.

Yes, one already exists, but I need more.

This time, with Sbi (because I love them).

Lets say, that the whole Desmond getting isekai’d thing happens and he meets Kristen, the goddess of death and matriarch of Sbi. Maybe accidentally gets adopted as Kristen’s own little assassin, angel of death, son, which means our boi finally gets a supportive family, good for him.

If not that, then he opens a bar nearby while sbi sons are still kids and becomes a badass, bartender uncle who trains them/babysits them when Phil is out. Love that for him, mans gets a family and favored by a literal goddess of death, how fitting.

Bonus points if the other assassins show up and hang out at the bar, maybe start another Brotherhood if there’s a threat that pops up, who knows what that could be tho.

Bonus bonus points if Desmond gets to be a family with his ancestors, because they really needed that closure. And shenanigans. They also get to be the badass uncles.

Do what you will with this idea, because I sure as hell won’t.

[mcyt-builds-contest]

Pandora"s Vault:

Contained : Dream, Tommyinnit, Ranboo, Technoblade, Connoreatpants

Series : DSMP

Propaganda : its so big. Its so so big. Look at a map of the dsmp. Its just a black void bigger than l'manburg was. You look at it and you just know it's something terrible. the obsidian walls, lava, the iron. It's just there. In the middle of the ocean. It does not fit in and its scary. the AMOUNT of redstone and functions it go is AMAZING. the only way to enter is through a portal that then leads u to the nether and has to be manually activated again by the warden. So to enter you literally NEED the wardens permission. All the bridges and all the door. It's so fucking cool man what can I say. The amount of security. the lore that happened inside pandora as well. Pandoras arc was the best arc of the whole of dream smp and I stand by that. There is so so much to unpack. Sam and Dream could have just built some shitty obsidian box and called it a prison, but no they made PANDORAS VAULT

The Ghost's Vault:

Contained : VikingPilot's Prized possesions

Series : Dominion SMP

Propaganda : Perhaps the only self-titled Vault to actually be one, the Ghost's Vault, built by VikingPilot, is two things -- a consolidation of wealth, and a display of power. Built at a time on Dominion where every single diamond had to be handed over to the Queen every two weeks, the Vault is made in total opposition to that policy as an extremely intimidating secret stash. All 10 sets of Netherite armor are enchanted and labeled. It's built with soulfire lanterns under the center carpet runner for the sole purpose of unnerving the local piglin. He's taken people here twice onscreen, and both times it was to cash in a no-conditions-set IOU with that other person in order to make sure things work out exactly the way they need to. It also contains two very important books! Viking's "To Do" list is very simple -- Run Dominion. However, the other one -- the Book -- is quite possibly the single most dangerous thing in Viking's possession. He's not sure what's in it, other than that it contains rituals of unimaginable power and that if he opens it again, he will crack in half. Oh, and the Ghost's Vault is also the location for the world's most unhinged 12-minute 100% improv monologue to ever exist.

[royalarchivist]

Tubbo: [Watching a clip from the Potato Wars and cracking up] NO WAY!

Technoblade: [In the clip] What could possibly go wrong? [The scene transitions] June 6: THINGS GO VERY WRONG.

Tubbo: HE KNEW! HE KNEW, DUDE! HE FCKING KNEW! HE FCKING KNEW! FROM THE GRAVE HE FCKING KNEW, DUDE! Oh dude, he really was the second-coming of some kind of prophet, man!

[slimestormx]

I already know this is going to lead to angsty fics that will leave out all the comedy of the situation, but I will never forget that this is objectively the funniest way the stream could have ended

Managed to tune into the stream this time, that shit was fucking funny of course he misclicks the president

[faye-writes-stuff]

welp here we go again

INCORRECT QUOTES TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Y/n: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday Dream: Wednesay Y/n: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible

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Y/n: Dream, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power! Dream: Well of course I have. Dream: Have you ever tried going mad without power? Dream: It's boring.

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Y/n: Today is a day of running through hurdles. Ranboo: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles? Y/n: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

---------------

Y/n: Ranboo... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? Ranboo: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned. Y/n: Y/n: I wrote sanitize, Ranboo

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Y/n: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail Sapnap: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police

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Y/n: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming Sapnap: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

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George: Welcome, fellow idiots Y/n: Hello, George George: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot Y/n: You underestimate me

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George: *Gets down on one knee* Y/n: Oh my god, it’s finally happening. George: *Falls over* Y/n: The poison is kicking in.

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Tommy: Change is inedible. Y/n: Don't you mean inevitable? Tommy, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

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Tommy: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Y/n's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get them out...

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Tubbo: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? Y/n: Oh, I’m always running Y/n: The question is from what

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Tubbo: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are. Y/n: It’s not a joke. Y/n: *sniffles* Y/n: I’m a legit snack.

---------------

Foolish: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao Y/n: What did you do op? Foolish: A MISTAKE

---------------

Y/n: Foolish... Foolish: Oh no, 'Foolish' in b-flat. Foolish: You're disappointed.

---------------

Technoblade: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE Y/n: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially Technoblade, desperately, as Y/n bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE Y/n: Oh! B positive. Technoblade: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE Y/n:

---------------

Technoblade, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something. Y/n: I saw a squirrel in a tree today! Technoblade, with the tone of someone who is used to Y/n: Outstanding. Technoblade: This is what I’m talking about people.

---------------

Technoblade: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you. Y/n: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Technoblade: Absolutely not.

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i accidentally hit post on this too early so if you saw this b4 it was finished- no you didn't

ANYWAYS enjoy, because the last one got over 300 likes so

ic master list :)

[elbowreveal]

tommy asks for a hot chocolate

how did he get a chainsaw in minecraft tho

insp: [x]

.click to read/don't repost to other sites.

[error-dream-was-found]

Chap 7 is out as well!!!!

Come read our strory about Techno's unusual roommate! Lot of crack and angst, to enjoy!!!

Many ghostly shenanigans involving cup, sandwiches, apple juice, cake and more!

Chapter 6 introduce a new character - Karma! Sam and Quackity ain't gonna run from this.

New chapter every day/night depending on how sleep deprived we both are! So don't wait, read our story and leave kudos or comment to make up for the hours of sleep we sacrificed.

The offer last until the end off the spooky season, after that we're gonna hibernate to make up for the sleep deficit lol

(And please give @bleue-flora some extra credit she pulled more than one allnighter for this and she deserves some appreciation. She is the one carrying this story after all ...)

So, me and @midnight-fangirl01 were feeling left out in all the October themed c!Dream fun. So, we decided to join in with a more crack version of Techno's haunted house inspired by @airrec's work nursed it well (or died) and the Counting Crows poem (aka One For Sorrow nursery rhyme. And like crazy people, we are going to do a chapter a day till Halloween.

Techno gets a new ghosty roomie and he's not mad about it. Though the same can't be said for his visitors.

[mcytblrsource]

MONTHLY MCYTBLR RECAP: AUGUST 2024

CHECK PERIODICALLY FOR UPDATES!

REBLOGS ARE ENCOURAGED!

EVENTS:

Jun 1-Aug 31: Niki Nihachu Summer hosted by @niki-nihachu-summer

Aug 5-11: Felpac week hosted by @felpacweek

Aug 16: Dream SMP Sixteenth Day Event: Crack Month hosted by @sixteenth-day-event

Aug 11-17: Skizzleman Week hosted by @skizzlemanweek

Aug 12-18: Hypnotizd Ship Week hosted by @hermitrarepairevent

ZINES & MAPS:

Aug 5: Chronicles: A QSMP Egg Zine preorders open until Sep 8 @qsmpzine

Aug 10: MCYT Sapphic Zine releases @mcytsapphiczine

Aug 23: Empiropedia releases @empiropediazine

Aug 25: Hotguy Comics Zine releases @hotguycomiczine

Aug 31: Hermitzine 9: H is for Hermitcraft releases @hermitzine

UPCOMING EVENTS FOR SEPTEMBER:

Jun 1-Sep 30: MCYT Omegaverse Month (18+) hosted by @mcyt-month-of-omegaverse

Aug 4-Sep 21: QSMP Month(s) hosted by @qsmp-month

Sep 1-30: Your Cubito, Your Culture hosted by @yourcubitoyourculture

Sep 16: Dream SMP Sixteenth Day Event: Places Month hosted by @sixteenth-day-event

Sep 22-Oct 5: MCYT Non-POV hosted by @mcyt-nonpovs

—-—

Oct 1-30: [There are no real deadlines] QSMP Halloween Fanworks Event hosted by @atthebell

Oct 20-26: Spiderbit/Guapduo Fluff or Fright hosted by @atthebell

Oct 21-27: Scarian Autumn Smooch Fest hosted by @scarian-smooch-fest

Oct 25-31: HideDuo Trick or Treat Week hosted by @iridescentpull

Oct 25-31: fWhimmy Week hosted by @fwhimmy-week

Dec 1-7: QPR Kersuma Week hosted by @qpr-kersuma-week

CLOSED APPLICATIONS/SIGN UPS:

MCYT WIP Purge: @multidimensionbb closes Sep 3

MCYT Trick-or-Treat: @mcyt-trick-or-treat closes Sep 8

Technoblade Cookbook - MODERATORS: @technobladecookbook closes Sep 11

HermitPost Zine: @hermitpostzine closes Sep 12

OPEN APPLICATIONS/SIGN UPS:

MCYT Halloween Exchange: @mcyt-halloween closes Sep 23

MCYT Jukebox Bonanza Event: @mcyt-jukebox-bonanza closes Sep 30

C!Dream Zine: @cdreamzine closes Sep 30

MCYT Couture Zine: @mcyt-couture-zine closes Sep 30

Technoblade Cookbook - RECIPE SUBMISSION: @technobladecookbook closes Oct 14

Lay all you love on me - Desert Duo MAP: @oinkable closes when all parts claimed

MCYT RPF Kink Meme - @mcytrpfkinkmeme open until collection reaches 100 works

Colourful Crafters Colouring Book: @colourfulcrafterscolouringbook closes undetermined

—-—

Technoblade Cookbook - ARTISTS AND WRITERS: @technobladecookbook Oct 20-31

[sircantus]

I have this fic. On the side. That is both hilarious to me and also filled with too many feelings. And its funny bc it was supposed to be a crack fic. This was supposed to be haha easy and now im considering the emotional weight of Technoblade wanting to just succeed in something other than war and blood, wanting to find quiet victory and safety in an idea of a Home thats his to return to