#technically this is 1 for this blog but because I have who knows how many posts on my old acc I guess we’re redoing the count??

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Wide Awake

Lewis Hamilton x Fem!Wolff!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, Self-Doubt, age-gap (reader is 22), slight smut (just fingering) , oh and slight orgasm denial.

(SOFIA IS A RANDOM GIRL I MADE UP!)

A/N: This was supposed to just be a one off thing but I kept writing and writing and I'm 99% sure that no one wants to read a 25k worded chapter only for it to BARELY get to the whole point/plot of the fic. so there's going to be another chapter (3 at max)

(Also I promise Too Good To Say Goodbye 7 is coming but I was hyper fixated on trying to finish this which isn't happening ) 🫶🏽😊

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

instagram

My dad’s always warned me about getting involved with the drivers. He told me that they’re all too young, naive and that all they’ll be good for is breaking my heart. For the longest time, I believed him. I’ve seen the way some of these young drivers were with girls.

Max cheating on Sofia with Kelly, Lando talking to 3 girls at once and George, well George hasn’t done anything. Point is, I’ve seen how they are and I don’t want to get with one of the young drivers only to have my heart ripped out. AGAIN.

I secretly dated one of the hottest drivers, Charles Leclerc for about 2 months. All was going well we were happy, we had secret dates and maybe I thought he was the one.

That was until one day In Monaco when I showed up to the paddock for Free Practice 1 & 2 I saw him hand-in-hand with Alexandra Saint Mleux. When I saw them together and I realized everything she had that I didn’t. She was at taller than me, skinnier, gorgeous, had flawless skin and had a modeling career. In other words, she was a goddess.

Seeing them together broke my heart and all I wanted to do was curl into a ball and sob, but I couldn’t. My dad warned me about the young drivers but I still went behind his back and did the exact opposite of what he told me not to do. I deserved this.

I had made a beeline for the Mercedes garage just to get out of the public eye but I was so focused on getting as far away from Charles and Alexandra as possible that I hadn’t noticed I was running straight into someone.

I hit this person's body with such force I almost went flying back and I reached my hands out in front of me to try and grab anything for stability and at the same time I felt two hands on either sides of my waist trying to balance me.

I was feeling so many different emotions right now I couldn't even think straight, clearly. I was so angry at Charles for cheating on me even if weren’t technically even dating, sadness because I actually thought Charles was actually capable of loving me, and full fledged embarrassment because I just ran full on into someone thinking about how Charles just ruined my life. And my makeup.

I looked up to face the person I just ran into and tried to profusely apologize for my actions, but when I looked up tho I was met with the most gorgeous brown eyes I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I wanted to stare into his eyes forever but in the half a second it took me to look up I also realized who it was that I ran into.

The 7x WDC Lewis Hamilton.

Even more embarrassment coated my face as I realized that not only did I just bump into someone while trying so hard not to have a mental breakdown but I ran into the Lewis Hamilton, my dad's best and most loved driver. “Oh my gosh Lewis, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t watching where I was going and I really didn’t mean to run into you. Please don’t tell my dad” Honestly, it sounded pathetic. ‘Don’t tell my dad’? what are you, 12?

I stared at him in silence for about all of 2 seconds which felt like an eternity until I saw his lips curled up into a smile and heard a small chuckle come from him. “I won’t tell your dad, cross my heart” Lewis said while making an ‘X’ motion over his chest “Who are you running from? I feel like maybe I'm obligated to know since you ran right into me trying to avoid them?”

My face fell in shock. How did he know I was trying to avoid someone? I mean it wasn't rocket science, if I saw a random girl running to an isolated area with tears streaming down her face, I too am going to assume she's avoiding someone. “I- Uh, Well. See”

“It’s okay, Y/N/N, I’m not going to tell anyone. You also don’t have to tell me if you don't want to but I’m willing to help you avoid them if you do.” Lewis said as he placed a hand on my cheek.

I’ve always found comfort in Lewis’ touch. Actually, I’ve always felt comfort whenever I was in the same room as Lewis. Something about his Aura screamed ‘You’re safe with me’

As much as I wanted to, I knew there was no point in lying because one thing about Lewis is that could read people like a book. Including me. With a long, loud and dramatic dragged out sigh I reluctantly told him the truth.

“I was seeing Charles behind my father’s back for about 2 months, everything was going well and I actually kinda thought he was my person but I just now saw him hand-in-hand and all cuddly with Alexandra.” Tears sprung in my eyes and threatened to fall as I recounted what I saw a few minutes prior to Lewis.

He had a sympathetic look in his face and I could tell he genuinely felt bad for me. The hand Lewis once briefly had on my face had moved down to grab my hand before he whispered, "How about this: Tomorrow we wear almost matching outfits and we come back here also hand-in-hand. We'd be together all day and we'll be cuddly too. You know, just to make Charles jealous and regret cheating on you."

Lewis was always putting people's well-being ahead of his and it made a shy smile creep onto my face. As much as I want to, maybe I shouldn't read too much into this though, he's probably just being nice to me to stay in my father's good graces.

"Lewis," I whispered as I placed my hand on his cheek "You don't have to be nice to me because I'm your boss's daughter"

he looked a bit hurt by my accusations. "Is that why you think I'm doing this?" his hand squeezed mine a little tighter.

"Why else would you, Lewis?" his hands came up to cup my face forcing me to look at him.

"Because Y/N/N, I-" he paused, almost like he was trying to find the right words to use. "I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world. I've seen you sneaking around with Charles and it took so much in me not to go over there and tear you away from him, to show him that you're mine. I know I'm older than you but I'm wiser and I'll treat you better than he can." My jaw dropped, there's no way that Lewis Hamilton, a 7x WDC is head over heels in love with me, right?

"Lew, I-" a voice interrupted me, turning my body into stone and my blood into ice.

"Y/N!" I knew that voice anywhere and if he saw the moment that me and Lewis just shared, we were both dead.

"Dad! Hi!" I tried to sound enthusiastic but I was so flushed from Lewis' confession.

"My baby," His hands cupped my face inspecting the red all over "Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine, I'm just hot. You know how the sun is in Monaco." I said with a shrug, trying to change the subject

"Oh you have to go in the AC! Lewis," my dad turned to face Lewis who was already facing in our direction

"Yes, Toto?" he said as he cocked his brow.

"I need you to take my darling girl inside. She has a condition where she can't sweat which causes her to overheat and pass out. I am too busy with this race and getting everything perfect to be worrying about my daughter having a heat stroke."

"Oh, jeez, thanks dad. Just send Lewis to do everything for you" I said in a playful tone

"Of course Toto, I'll take her in right now." Lewis said as he walked over to me and linked his arms with mine.

Lewis started guiding me through the garage and to his driver's room where he opened the door and gestured me in. Once inside he closed the door before facing me with unsure eyes.

"What's wrong Lew?" I said as I cautiously walked over to him.

"What were you going to say before Toto cut you off?" his voice so low, I almost didn't hear what he said.

"I was going to say," I stopped right in front of him, our chests were touching. We were so close I could feel his breath against my skin. "I think that you have to prove what you said about treating me better than how Charles did."

Lewis grabbed my face and pulled me into a searing kiss, our tongues fought for dominance but his won. Lewis picked me up and sat on his couch with me on his lap so I was straddling him all without breaking the kiss.

His hands found their rightful place on my hips and applied pressure forcing my hips down as I rocked my hips to apply more force against his hardening cock.

"Mmm, you taste so good. I can only imagine how much better you taste when I'm eating your pussy." Lewis mumbled against my lips as his hands went just a little bit lower to stop at the elastic of my leggings. I guided Lewis' hands under the fabric to release some of the tension building in my core.

He understood what I needed and quickly started to run his middle finger up and down my fold, collecting all my juices before inserting it in my pussy. Lewis slowly moved his finger in and out of my hole while using his thumb to rub circles on my clit. His movements were slow and sensual bringing me closer and closer to my orgasm. I started rocking my hips into his palm to add more friction to my core and to chase my orgasm which I really needed right now. I was just about to go over the edge until a knock at the door quickly halted both of our movements and caused Lewis to yank his hand out of me leaving me without finishing.

"Mate, FP2 starts in 15. They need us by our cars now" The voice of George could be heard from he other side of the door.

“Oh fuck me” I grunted as I pulled myself off of Lewis’ lap

“Trust me, I was planning on it” He said with a smirk on his face as his hand came to rest on my ass before giving it a smack.

Lewis poked his head out of the door to make sure no one would see us leave, after the all clear we quickly rushed out of his room, both of us going in opposite directions as to not get caught.

————

The next day I heard a knock at my hotel door at the early hours of 6:00am. With a grunt I pulled myself out of the comfort of my warm and cozy bed and made my way to the door. Whoever was interrupting my beauty sleep was going to get a mouthful, I’ll tell you that.

“Do you know what time it is?!” I whisper yelled as I opened the door, not even bothering to look through the peephole to see who I would be yelling at. And boy do I really wish I did look because I was met with the tall, beautiful, muscular frame of Lewis Hamilton.

“Woah honey, I told you we were going to the paddock together. We need matching outfits” Lewis said while looking at me up and down "Do you by any chance have a matching Tommy Hilfiger set?"

"No?" I said, a little nervous

"Perfect, I bought you one that matches mine so put this on" Lewis said as he handed me a bag of 4 different sets.

"Lewis, there's four sets in here. Which am I wearing?" I said I let him in my room and watched as he took a seat on my bed right were I was once peacefully sleeping.

"Wear whichever one you want and I'll match it. I didn't know which of those four you'd like so I bought them all." My heart fluttered a bit at his confession.

--------

When Lewis and I pulled up to the race and got out of the car, we walked to the entrance hand-in-hand.

Charles and Alexandra were the first people to spot us and I took notice on how Charles dropped Alexandra's hand. When I saw that I squeezed Lewis' hand and leaned into him to tell him

"Lew, it's working. He dropped Alexandra's hand" I said with a smirk on my face.

"Wanna give them a show?" I cocked my brow at what he was suggesting but reluctantly nodded my head.

Without thinking twice, Lewis pulled me into a kiss, his hand finding their place to rest on my ass while mine traveled to the back of his neck to pull him deeper into the kiss.

I heard a strings of words which I'm assuming were curse words before I heard faint shuffles of feet echoing away from where me and Lewis were stood. Faint footsteps weren't the only thing we heard because next thing you know we heard clicks of camera shutters.

I pulled away from him with a horrified look on my face.

"Lewis! My dad might see those!" I don't think I was ever more scared in my life than I was in that moment. My dad can't know that I'm sneaking behind his back with Lewis. Well technically this is the second day of this 'sneaking around' but still, he doesn't know."

"Do you want to be with me Y/N/N?" He said dead serious while interlocking our hands

"Yes"

"So you shouldn't care about the pictures and your dad's opinion. Not everyone is going to accept our relationship but that doesn't matter because this relationship is between us. Not them"

"I need FP3 and Qualifying to end ASAP because I so badly want to suck your cock."

“I’m holding you to that” Lewis said as he swatted my ass. Surely the press people got photos of that and when those get out. I’m gonna have a fun conversation with my dad

It took us about 15 minutes to get the Mercedes Hospitality area because of all the fans asking for pictures, Press asking questions and other drivers asking what Lewis thinks he’s doing going out with me.

I almost took offense to that but quickly realized that they didn’t mean it in a rude way but more as a ‘you better be careful because if you break her heart, Toto will never resign you to Mercedes’ type of way.

When we entered, we were met with the angry eyes of my father.

“Lewis.” He said stern, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose “what are you doing with my daughter?!”

“Sir,” Lewis started but my dad cut him off

“Y/N/N, I told you not to go off with the drivers!” His voice raised, not too loud to be classified as yelling but a couple octaves louder than how it was before

“Actually, you said no messing around with the younger drivers. Lewis is older and more wise” I said as I grasped Lewis’ hand tighter.

“What are your intentions with my daughter?”

“Well sir, I intend to give your daughter the best life I can give her, I want to take her everywhere with me, I want to spoil her, I want to have her move in with me, I want to be her husband and I want her to be the mother of my kids.” Lewis squeezed my hand as he said that last sentence.

I never thought about being a mother, I never felt like it was an obligation of mine. I never thought that I wanted kids but hearing Lewis admit to my dad that he wanted me to be the mother of his kids sparked something in me. Lewis made me realize that deep down, I longed to be a mom and now I wasn’t going to be happy if I wasn’t.

“I will kill you if you break her heart.” My dad stated as he stared in Lewis’ eyes as if to try and intimidate him.

—————

It's not the best but I promise the plot is to die for!

taglist:

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti@dhanihamidi @Ggasly.p @tellybearryyyy

[circus-clangen]

Hi I’m a new circusclan enjoyer and I am SO confused on what’s happening. Can I get a rundown of the current lore we know? Or like links for me to understand because like who is marquee?? I read the moon updates how do I not know them. Also monkeypaw was only mentioned once I believe? What’s their deal??

You got it! I'm not planning on posting here until I finish the next moon--which most likely wont be until the new year, so it'll be nice to have this sitting at the top of my blog for a while! Here's the official Circusclan Lore rundown, including what happened in the moons, the lost moons, the puzzles, and the 10th ring of HELL that is the discord server: First, the starter cats: Ringstar--previously Ringtail of Heronclan, and brother of @echoes-in-echoclan 's Kestrelstar--and his two kits, Clownpaw and Tigerkit.

The pre-moon events: Ring left his clan and his brother to join the circus and be with a cat he met, named Goldmask. Suffient to say for now, Goldmask's treatment of Ring was less that ideal, but he loved her all the more. They had a son together, Clown. The birth was INCREDIBLY taxing on Goldmask, and almost killed her (detailed here https://www.tumblr.com/circus-clangen/768067551594987520/wait-if-goldmask-wasis-paralyzed-how-did-she?source=share). A little while later, Goldmask became pregnant again. Ring was there when one of the kits was born, and knew it was not his. Goldmask knew she would die in this kitting--she'd barely survived having one kit, and this time, she'd had two. Only, Ring never knew the second one existed, because it's father had stolen it away before Ring could arrive. Goldmask didn't make it, and Ring was left alone in the circus, with Clown and Tiger.

The lost moons: I wasn't intending for Circusclan to become a comic. This, coupled with some technical issues, means moons 1-5 were lost. The technical issues were caused because, around moon 3-4, Tigerkit was taken by an eagle and killed. I wasn't ready for her to die, so I went into the code and brought her back... only, something strange happened. Before her in-game death, she was definitively Ring's favorite child. So much so, that I made jokes about it to my friends. He LOVED her. But after she died--after I brought her back--he hated her. He hated her so *viscerally*. A non-secret about the clangen save behind this comic is that both Ring and Clown's hate stats for Tiger are COMPLETELY maxxed. I knew I had to do something with this lore-wise, which I've detailed here (https://www.tumblr.com/circus-clangen/769542088687747072/anything-youre-dying-to-share-3?source=share). Monkeypaw: In a tale I've yet to reveal, Monkeypaw left Heronclan with Ring, but not long after, became the Starclan guide for my clan. The reason you don't see much of him is some lore I've added. There's a lot to it, but the basics of it is that Monkeypaw is only remembered by Ringstar--none of the ever living cats have met him, and so he can't directly interact with him. Unfortunately, Ringstar's connection with Starclan right now is akin to an Internet Explorer browser windows connection to the internet. So, Monkeypaw is a somewhat abstract figure for now. Marquee: Marquee is the father of Tigertoe and the mystery Tigersibling. He's Goldmask's other mate--one Ringstar didn't know existed until Tiger's birth. A staple of Circusclan is the cats affinity for human culture, and their imitation of it. Unknown to them, Marquee was "there first". He's from an almost cultlike group of cats that have been trying to not only imitate, but steal, humanity, for many many years. It's unclear as of now which of his actions are on behalf of this unnamed group, and which are on behalf of his deceased mate Goldmask. Moons 6-14: These moons were drawn when Circusclan was a fun meme project for me to share with my friends. I had no intention of posting it on Tumblr, much less giving it this level of lore. You CAN glean some lore from these wretched posts, but most notable in this era, is the infamous "hide and seek game", in which the player's failure to correctly solve a puzzle (https://www.tumblr.com/circus-clangen/746608261062639616/you-have-successfully-determined-that-ringstar?source=share) left Ringstar trapped in a burning caravan--the blaze implied to be set by Marquee. The players decided to let him burn, and he lost five lives. Moons 13-18: By this point, Tigertoe got the patrol event where a secret, outside-clan mate joins the clan: Trapezetangle. Also by this point, an outside-clan apprentice named Whippaw joins. Moon 19: I forgor Moon 20: The Experimental Era of video moons that were SUPER fun to make but took my entire life so I'm not going to be doing them every moon. Some people expressed they weren't comfortable watching a scary video, so the rundown of moon 20 is this: Ringstar died again, and Tigertoe found out she was pregnant. (For a rundown of that whole mess of a puzzle, look here: https://www.tumblr.com/circus-clangen/761426559722782720/i-try-my-best-to-never-explain-my-puzzles-even-if?source=share) Moon 21: Present day! Horrible things are going to happen very soon <3 Present, currently-alive (or dead) characters that we're AWARE of, even if I haven't properly revealed them: Monkeypaw, Ringstar, Tigertoe, Tigersibling, Clownwish, Goldmask, Marquee, Trapezetangle, Whippaw Nicknames you should be aware of for clarity: Dave is Marquee. The discord server will only call him Dave. His name is Marquee. Please help. Hope this helps at least some!

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

asking in good faith, i remembered you once posted about having nuance about ABA and i want to understand what you mean by that because i know you post from a non-western disabled perspective.

is ABA something other than operant conditioning in other places? if not, shouldn't we be listening to the ABA survivors who call ABA abusive and dehumanizing? if something is abusive to some but happened to help others, isn't it irresponsible to say that ABA is good for anyone just because it helps some people and has hurt others, like the psychiatric system?

asking because i want to understand what nuance there is, because the only people i know who have had to endure ABA therapy in their life have survived really horrific, dehumanizing abuse like being treated as a dog by their ABA therapists. is there nuance to this?

hornet nest. don’t really love talk about ABA but will answer this one. so

1) when talk about ABA, from western perspective. ABA here (<certain non-western country) even worse lol (would say newly introduced compare to say US… plus there not much of neurodivergent acceptance movement here & eugenics rampant people on social media proudly say classic eugenics stuff n admit eugenics good. like admit eugenics by exact word.)

2) important correction that never said ABA good for anyone everyone. never said ABA not abusive never abusive. because ABA often is abusive. would say such vast majority abusive. some more subtle and or not all encompassing in practice than others but vast vast majority use harmful ideology or methods in some way (90%? higher?not scientific number by any mean, throwing it out there based on observation, more illustrate point of how high than Actual Accurate Number). if any time you (general you) got from my post about ABA think am arguing ABA never abusive then you definitely understand something wrong, or am didn’t communicate right. despite what may seem like on this blog, anytime hear “ABA” alarm bell go off. anytime see “am ABA therapist” immediate distrust & avoid & rarely earn back.

with that out of way:

fortunately with neurodivergent activists & ABA survivors advocating, n neurodiversity affirming become more of a “good thing to describe self as”, some ABA clinics trying/say they trying change. try more natural learning, try more strength based techniques, less drills, less DTT, less force eye contact, less force mask, less punishment but more reward, less food motivators, less planned withholding… we at very very beginning of this

unfortunately “neurodiversity affirming” becoming buzzword. can slap it on anything. include “at first glance look all good person have fun smiling but if know what look for, harmful practice glaring at you” ABA. people can say they do nonabusive ABA n do harmful practices. n sometimes it people genuinely trying take abusive part out of ABA but not realize some aspects still… harmful. still coercive. still take away autonomy. (ETA n of course there many places where unchanged)

operant conditioning… hard one because. n this maybe out of topic or nit pick. give self shiny gold star sticker for monkey brain (reward) whenever finish task (goal behavior) technically operant conditioning. not abusive. but ABA abusive because… “only look at behavior ignore internal, smile mean happy eye contact mean better milder�� operant conditioning. “‘tantrum’ undesirable behavior attention seeking so not reward behavior need extinguish behavior by planned ignore (who care why they meltdown)” operant conditioning. “food rewards you earn eat only when you good, you earn comfort only when you good” operant conditioning. “stop elopement by physically block them from leave n once they learn stop elope they better (actually just replaced physical flight with dissociation freeze)” operant conditioning

& sometimes it not that “ABA not abusive”… but more not believe ABA more abusive than say. police that kill visibly autistic people especially visibly autistic Black people. or more serious than “put your autistic child in therapy or we take them away. n by therapy we mean ABA.” or “am single parent work multiple jobs child keep get sent home mid day bc behaviors which mean interrupt work less pay more likely get fired. struggle pay bills cant afford childcare but insurance cover 40 hour ABA idk what to do.” or “get kicked out of 7th school 937473th SLP OT because behaviors” ETA (forgot to retype when draft got deleted so add back in) this not saying “ABA abuse okay bc other abuse exist.” but more of ABA not exist alone & ABA exist because other things exist & cannot get rid of ABA alone without get rid of system that produce it

know people who went through ABA as child n not feel traumatized n actually found it help (n some of them may be traumatized just not realize it but there people who thought about it a lot & still conclude not traumatized). know people who went thru ABA found it both help n abuse. know ABA survivors who “maybe did help but abused by it don’t want the help if mean abuse.” know ABA survivors who just. abused. of course ABA survivors who abused by it should be prioritized. people who went thru ABA who not traumatized very minority & at least huge bit of luck. n often times also with some mix of privilege (location eg state with better healthcare more up to date healthcare cities at blue states etc, financial, etc.). hence why never say “ABA never abusive.” n why don’t feel comfortable call self ABA “survivor” because. well. not traumatized by it. don’t feel right

all of this (n tbh anything am saying abt ABA) more said towards non ABA survivor audience (specifically those who hear like third hand fourth hand fifteenth hand information n never actually read anything official about ABA & can’t tell you what it does beyond “promote masking” (often true… but how?) & when asked for more, no clue. am firmly believe you need know enemy to criticize & defeat enemy.). it more of way ask them talk about ABA with more nuance n more knowledge. no interest “educating” ABA survivors on what ABA is & how it work. not my place. they not need it.

^ because right now “anti-ABA crowd” turned kind of into joke in some people eyes because some people who say “ABA abusive” keep saying same thing as eachother n can’t tell you what ABA actually is beyond “masking & eye contact.” n also poorly done studies (that ABA PTSD study that anyone can just say they went thru ABA & no verify… there difference between letting survivors exist online without interrogate & demand for proof papers, versus published scientific papers). yes many most ABA abusive harmful yes no doubt ABA survivors gotten PTSD from it etc. but if in role of advocacy, neeeeeed be able talk about it with knowledge & nuance (ETA & good evidence). because most impacted are gonna be ABA survivors & them not be taken seriously (already happening).

would love world where. autistic people with serious behaviors that danger to self or others get help they need. without be kicked out of multiple services. without be abused. be treat as human. be treat compassionately. for help be freely available. n their caregivers have respite. n not need work 9 million jobs just to pay bills n not have time be around child. unfortunately we not there yet. n take long time get there. n people struggling now. so need something for now. need harm reduction. so will try take as much harmful stuff out of ABA as possible while we work on new thing.

very bad TL;DR: are there any nuance? ..yes? but when say that people tend think mean “ABA never abusive.” so also no… not in that way

sorry kind of went off tangent. but no short way talk about ABA nuance

potential context for other people? one two three four

though PLEASE. DON’T reblog these ^ posts. don’t want them get revived n have to Deal With That.

[alan-in-the-outernet]

...

So. A certain someone just hit 300 followers on here. I don't even have that many on my main blog! So... wow!

That.. so many people have had or still do have interest in the stuff I do in AvA, whether that's my rambles, my short stories, my art... it just... blows me away, honestly... and you know what?

I thought... why not do a fun thing in celebration...

... :3

I'm gonna do a lil bit of a raffle!

So, here's how this is gonna go- from today, 1/2(Today), to 1/14- (the week after next weeks tuesday), you can either submit, reblog this post with, or send in an ask- a piece of art- and I'm talking multiple forms of art! Drawing, writing, music- etc.

And what will this art be of- my au's! But here's the kicker... I'm talking your oc's, in my au's! I wanna see y'alls characters translated! Of course, if you really want, you COULD do my character's or the canon character's from them- but I'd like to see y'alls!

And for each category you do(drawing, writing, a song, etc) you get an entry! A ticket, basically.

And when 1/14 hits, I'll draw names- and the three top names pulled will get something!

3rd Place - A sketch or snippet of writing from me

2nd Place - A full drawing or one-shot from me

1st Place - A fully rendered drawing or a gif from me!

Now, none of these can be gore, or anything explicit- but otherwise, that's the prizes! And if 1st place wanted something from 2nd place or something like that, I'll give the option of 1st place stuff to 2nd place, etc.

Now.. while yes, there are technically prizes for this- this is honestly just meant to be a fun lil event! Because I want to see how y'alls characters might translate- for the fun of it! And of course, no one has to participate in the end, but... well!

Happy 300 followers ;3

And for those who are interested in possibly participating- I can't wait to see what you do ;3

Open Categories for an entry point(Again you can do multiple!)

Drawing

Writing

Music(Writing a song up, etc, doesn't need to be sung or anything!)

Animating(Please... please don't put yourself through this torture /silly but I thought I'd put it up anywho!)

And maybe other's! I'll edit it if someone has another thought!

[that-ari-blogger]

Who's In Charge Here? (Ready For This)

Hazbin Hotel’s plot centres around Charlie’s quest to redeem the residents of Hell and protect them from a heavenly genocide.

The phrasing of that is important. The story is about Charlie’s quest to redeem others. The agency is on Charlie, rather than the citizens of hell.

A large part of that is Charlie’s understanding of what redemption actually is. Is it a generalized “be more like heaven”? Or is it something more specific?

Every part of Hazbin Hotel and it’s sibling series Helluva Boss revolves around individuality. The art style is dynamic as anything, the musical numbers are diverse by nature, and the extras… the extras steal the show.

Hell doesn’t learn from Charlie, Charlie learns from Hell. Or does she?

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (Hazbin Hotel)

CONTENT WARNING: (Hazbin Hotel)

The song begins in 6/4 time in the key of B flat majour. It’s optimistic and pseudo-spoken in tonality. But to hell with that, because at 1 minute 20 on the dot, the ensemble comes in.

Alastor has just offered the cannibals angel flesh as a reward, and the song immediately shifts in tone. Speeding up slightly and changing keys to G Majour. All while the cannibals are adlibbing and someone who’s name I do not know makes the legendary decision to say the following, and you bet your arse I’m putting this in quotes.

“Namamamam”

What this does is simple, it takes the agency from Charlie and gives it to the citizens of hell. The song is no longer about her, and frankly neither is the musical at this point, it is about what she represents and the themes at play.

We have had the revelation of the genocide happening in a month, we have had Vaggie’s betrayal, and Charlie has put all of her plans on a hold because she thinks she isn’t worthy. This ain’t about her and her drama now. There are lives at stake.

This is reassuring and stable. Every word is an octave chord, that is, two of the same note an octave apart. Each section is a rising melody that starts on B and rises to E minour \ G. It is repetitive with the first half containing two mostly identical runs upwards, while the second half dips slightly to reflect the threat of which it speaks, before resolving back up with a hopeful tone.

As a disclaimer, I am far from an expert in music theory. That’s why I am writing this blog. I want to learn. So correct me if I am wrong please. I am using this transcription to guide myself.

This starts the same as previously but then twists with an upwards inflection. The sharpening of teeth chord swaps out its central E for a C, becoming C5 \ G or G sus 4 (again, I’m not an expert, I don’t know the difference between these two names, so I’m putting both of them in and hoping someone will please explain it to me). This is like a bow being drawn back, building up kinetic energy that is released in the final two notes for A5 (E sus 4 \ A) and G \ B.

Now, trying to name all of these chords made my nose bleed, but I had a reason for that other than to make myself look like an eejit.

Ready For This is a song built on chords. You don’t have to know their names to know that the sections of a song that are sung by a choir rely on the interplay between different voices. It’s less about the technical knowledge, though that is still important, and more the density of sound.

I do appreciate this guy pointing at his teeth when he said he would sharpen them. I wasn't sure what he meant at first, but then he pointed, and I am now up to speed. He means teeth. See? He's pointing at them.

This part of the song makes you feel supported because of the contours of the music, but also because of how many parts there are. You feel like you are being lifted up by that crowd.

Charlie is gathering an army damn it. Susan may be the symbol of Cannibal Town’s alignment, but Cannibal Town itself is a symbol of its power.

I highlight this whole section because of it’s rhythm. This is written with an iambic metre. That is, one note slightly longer than the other. Shakespeare wrote in iambic pentameter.

This evokes a marching band or an old timey war song, intended to be easy to sing. Shakespeare utilised the rhythm to make dialogue sound more natural, and “of the common man.”

This was a form of propaganda, not just using music to draw people into signing up for near certain death, but also the subtle messaging of how the songs were written. If anyone could sing it, then it could become an earworm and sit with its audience, pestering them until they join the army.

I find it morbidly entertaining that Charlie begins the song with all of the distractions usually promised by recruitment songs - Camaraderie, travel, adventure – and the cannibals are instead enchanted by the promise of murder. In Hell, that nonsense doesn’t stand.

Charlie's dissonant perspective is brought back for a moment as she argues with the ensemble.

“That’s a little violent, can we tone it down?”

“Oh, don’t be put of by their snarlin’ that’s enthusiasm, darlin!”

“Eh, they just seem a little murder right now.”

“Don’t worry, honey, that’s their thing.”

Charlie. I don’t want to be a pedant, so forgive me for pointing out the inconvenience. But, you are aware this is a war, right? Violence is kind of the point.

Yes, cannibalism is generally considered a foe par in modern society, but that’s sadism. Charlie is complaining about her side being too into violence and murder… in a war.

I have seen discussion of this song as lesser liked at the start because the rhythm is off and frustrating to follow. I agree about that being the case, but that is the point. Notice the time signature when Charlie tries to argue:

It’s in 4/4, notably different from the 3/4 of the verse and the 6/4 of the chorus. Whereas the other two signatures merge together pretty seamlessly, Charlie has to stumble over herself to get the words out here.

This is the same time signature as Charlie’s recruitment jaunt, and that is the section of the song that is cited the most as being off kilter.

It’s supposed to be.

There is a fundamental disconnect between what Charlie wants and what she needs. You are all going to die if you don’t get over yourself and take Hell as it is. Work with what you have, not what you wish for.

Queerness is a spectrum. From "scheming for world domination" to "no thoughts, head empty." I am sitting comfortably at both ends of the spectrum.

Charlie changes her tone and time signature over the course of the song and it works, she is accepted into the cannibal ranks as a leader. Alastor and Rosie imply that this is their guidance swaying her and, according to Alastor, corrupting her. However, and this is really important, he is wrong.

The two of them converse in 6/4, the same rhythm and tune as the verse earlier, signifying their connection to it. But Charlie doesn’t join the ensemble, it joins her.

I maintain that Alastor has actually been pretty decent to Charlie. Like, he keeps saying he is manipulating her behind her back, and he makes a deal that he promises will be a problem in the future, but he never actually does anything in the present to her. Obviously, this will change when that future comes to pass, but for now, he's just supportive. Is he just bad at being evil? Is that what's going on?

Here is how the song starts:

As mentioned above, it’s in 6/4, and judging by the conversation this section has between Charlie and Susan, it’s connecting.

Susan is almost trying to help Charlie here by translating what she is saying into terms the Cannibals will get. You have a dream; we have dreams too. They need the connection.

A few bars later, we get the eponymous motif.

There is a lot I can take apart here in just the lyrics. It’s an admission of weakness, of being new to this, but its also the acknowledgement that said weakness doesn’t matter right now. Hell needs a leader and Charlie is in a position to be that leader.

I am not Christian, but I grew up in a very Christian landscape. As such, the idea of leading from the front, specifically in the context of a show set in Hell, calls to mind the image of the shepherd who leads the flock rather than the sheepdog who chases it.

Leadership in this style is not unique to Christianity, I want to be clear, but it is a fundamental part of that faith, at least in my understanding. And again, in this context, it felt important to mention. But in this context, it is the daughter of the king of hell who assumes that role of a shepherd, rather than the son of the king of heaven.

The second time the motif comes up, once again Charlie is singing alone, but it’s the moment after everything has gone to plan. Rosie has told Charlie to relax with the criticism and take the help when it’s offered, and Charlie sings her motif again.

Up until this point, it has been a question of what can be done for each side. This section is Charlie’s connection to the cannibals on a human level. It is the moment when they understand her.

“For the first time in my life,

maybe I can be ready for this.

I can be the marshal leading the parade.

I can come into my own, and I think I’ve always known.

My destiny could never be postponed.

When Adam brings the battle here

I must appear like I’m ready for this.”

Once again, I notice some awfully specific word choice here.

Charlie is still focused on herself. This isn’t a complete story, her development as a character will continue into another season at least. As such, she is still self centred and focused on the philosophical angle of everything. When Adam arrives, she will appear ready. She hasn’t internalized the fact that she should actually be ready. Or at least, she hasn’t internalized that looking like something and acting like something are different things that can go together, but don’t always.

Which is a prescient thing to unpack.

The Ready For This motif comes around for a third time, and here we have my final piece of proof. Charlie doesn’t sing, those around her do. She has inspired them. She has had to change how she acted, sure, but they met her in the middle.

If anything, Charlie is singing background vocals. They part for her to voice the following:

“It is time to take a stand!

It is time to lend a hand!”

But here, she is part of the crowd, offering her perspective when the chance becomes apparent rather than forcing her way through.

Most obviously, the use of enjambment here gives this a rising sense of momentum. That is, each musical phrase begins a note early to hook you and keep you moving.

Also, "we cannot take it anymore". Violence is the tool of the oppressor, but it's also that of the oppressed. It is one of the few options that is always available, and it is where people will turn to when they have no other choice. Empires historically have tried to keep a facade of available diplomacy to keep their subjects compliant. But when it becomes clear that is a farse, those empires never last much longer.

But also, Rosie.

That is an insane note to be able to hit repeatedly, and I’m not just saying that because I sing bass. Rosie’s notes are really high.

That actually contrasts Alastor a bit. They are both schemers, allegedly, and Alastor has spent the entirety of the musical so far grifting off everyone else’s notes. Even in Stayed Gone and Hell’s Greatest Dad, he changes very little. But here, he falls in with the crowd. He doesn’t have anything new to say at all.

It's also notable that Rosie was the one who acknowledged that the ensemble was singing Charlie's song. She is aware of the situation, and her advice to Alastor isn't that he is succeeding at manipulating Charlie, it's that she's going to win, and he should probably stick around her.

Which makes me wonder, does Alastor actually have any power? As in, over Charlie. Is he as good of a manipulator as he makes everyone thinks? He talks a big game but then falls in line with Charlie just like everyone else. Is he special? Is he Machiavellian or is he just a little goober, as scared and spiraling as everyone else, powerless except for a smile.

Final Thoughts

For some reason, Rosie was the character I gravitated towards in this musical. Not just in an “I like the character” kind of way. When I sing along to this song in the car, I sing along to Rosie’s line.

Which is weird and difficult, considering, as has been stated, I sing bass.

Those who know me personally will know that I gravitate towards the mentour that rocks up out of nowhere in the story and offers advice whether you like it or not, so my preference isn’t a surprise, but she also has an umbrella and a cool hat, so what was I supposed to do?

Next week, we reach our penultimate post with the reprise of More Than Anything and discuss what a reprise even does for a story. Stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[choicesficwriterscreations]

March Creator of the Month: Bayleedraws-sometimesx

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists, and this month’s creator of the month is the lovely @bayleedraws-sometimesx!  The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page. Past COTM's can be found here. Center photo by the lovely @bayleedraws-sometimesx!

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? 

Baylee

More below...

When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

I think it was in 2018, and I first played Bloodbound 1. 

When and why did you join Choices fandom?

It was December 2020. I was really struggling at that point; my whole life had changed, and I still hadn't come to terms with it after a year. It was just an escape. 

How did you pick your blog name? 

It’s just my name and what I do. 

Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

It’s just a pfp i did over halloween. It’d me dressed like Sally from Nightmare before Christmas. 

Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both? 

I used to want to be a writer. I really love writing stories, I’ve never really written any fanfiction, but technically, I can draw and write. 

How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

It’ll be four years in December since I’ve been creating Choices-related stuff, but ever since I was a little kid, I’d get obsessed with different shows/ characters and write/ draw them. 

What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

My favourite book is definitely Bloodbound. I love drawing BB related stuff because I have a slight obsession with Kamiliah 

Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

It was a drawing I did for @ao719. I think I would change a lot if I were to draw it now. I don’t really like it anymore, and my style has definitely changed over the years.  I find it really embarrassing looking back at old drawings. 

What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created? 

A BB animation (I still haven't finished), but it was really fun writing the story and designing/ drawing everything. 

Do you have a creation that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

I never expected any animations to do well and was very surprised when they did. I’m really sure that I would like to get more attention. 

If you could only draw one style or type of art for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? 

I don't know. I’m moving into my own flat soon, so I’ve been drawing some scenery pieces I’m going to put up once I’m there. I find them really therapeutic to draw, so maybe that. 

Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs?

Sometimes. 

What element of art do you struggle with most?

Probably finishing the pieces off. By that point I’ve stared at it for so many hours that all I can see are  the problems with it. 

Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

Absolutely, I’m going through a lot right now so there’s quite a lot of things that i really do want to finish but i just dont have the motivation. 

If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first? 

Maybe. My big brother taught me how to draw, so occasionally, I’ll let him look at some of my drawings. 

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

I can’t think of anyone published that I looked up to or have really inspired my artwork. There’s definitely people that i know in my life that have. 

Which one of your creations would you like to see fiction written about? 

I have absolutely no idea lol 

Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art? 

Yeah, I love creating new characters and really animations doing animations of my original characters.

What other hobbies do you have?

A lot of crafty things. I was taught how to sew, knit, and crochet as a kid, and those are things I still enjoy doing now. 

[an-spideog]

haigh a chara tá siúl agam go bhfuil tú ceart go leor! i was wondering do you know any resources for learning Gaelainn? despite being from munster, in school we just learnt standard irish, but id really love to learn more munster irish. is breá liom do bhlag btw tá sé an-cabhrach <3

Míle baochas :) I do indeed know several resources, I made use of a lot of them lol, there's kind of two categories - Stuff about the dialect and stuff in the dialect. I'll start with 'about'.

Info about West Munster Irish

There's only 1 modern textbook I know of which teaches munster Irish, and it's kind of a rough read lol. This is Teach Yourself Irish (1961) (audio). The book is really really dense, one paragraph will contain a lot of information, and that can make it pretty easy to miss things, but it's still a very useful book - and much easier to use if you already have some Irish. It teaches Cork Irish but Cork and Kerry are quite similar (Kerry has a stronger Gaeltacht though so you're more likely to hear Kerry Irish). This book also has a weird transcription system for how to pronounce words, ignore it, learn the sounds of the language separately, and listen to the recordings that come with the book. Their system is buckwild and nobody else uses it.

You should also skip the sections labeled "rules for aspiration" and "rules for eclipsis", rather than reading them right at the start and use them as a reference if you ever need to.

An Teanga Bheo - Corca Dhuibhne is a great book to get some knowledge on Kerry Irish as long as you can read Irish pretty well, since it describes lots of the important features. But it's a reference text and an overview, not a textbook. If you don't feel that comfortable reading in Irish or want to be able to search, you can use this online translation

Shameless plug, I talk about Munster Irish on my youtube channel, and I try and share info which people wouldn't find easily otherwise, new video maybe out this weekend maybe. An Loingseach on youtube - He sometimes gets bogged down in the linguistic weeds and doesn't edit his videos at all lol, but he knows his stuff.

There's a blog called corkirish.com and it has some useful info on it but the guy who used to run it is an awful shitter, I'm hoping that with more other people sharing resources we can make that blog irrelevant.

If you're at all interested in linguistics, there's more technical books describing the dialect which can be useful as references.

The Irish of West Muskerry - This is a book talking about the pronunciation of Cork Irish, in English, but using a lot of phonetic terms and symbols. Quite useful if you know how to read them.

Gaeilge Chorca Dhuibhne - This is a book talking about the pronunciation and structure of Kerry Irish, in Irish, again using a lot of linguistic terminology. This one will be getting an updated English version at some point soon, hopefully.

The Linguistic Atlas and Survey of Irish Dialects (LASID) is a series of books showing the results of surveys where they went around to different Irish speaking regions and asked them what words they'd use for specific things, it gives you really cool maps like this: (Showing you how "Gaeilic" is used in donegal, "Gaeilge" is used in Galway, and "Gaelainn" is used in Kerry)

This map is actually from a web version of the first book which is quite handy. The second book isn't available as a site but there are pdfs and it only focuses on munster so you can see some differences with in munster.

Stuff in the Dialect

Things to Read

We're probably the luckiest in terms of things to read when studying the Munster Dialect because there have been so many authors, and so many authors who write very dialectally. So a lot of munster features you see very prominently in writing.

Books by Maidhc Dainín Ó Sé (a lot of fiction as well as one autobiography)

Books by Peig Sayers (There's school editions of at least her main book (Peig), try to avoid those and find the dialectal version in a library (Peig - a scéal féin), and she has written other books)

Books by Pádraig Ó Cíobháin (I haven't read any of these yet personally and I've heard they can be quite hard by nature of being very poetic and sometimes abstract)

Fiche Blian ag Fás by Muiris Ó Súilleabháin (similar to Peig, this is autobiographical)

Books by Tomás Ó Criomhthain (similar to Peig and MÓS these are autobiographical)

Books by Peadar Ua Laoghaire (Fiction, these are quite old - 100 years - and that can make them more difficult, but they can be pretty good)

Béaloideas and Dúchas.ie - these ones are harder to read than the others for various reasons but can often be a lot more interesting. Béaloideas is a journal of Irish folklore which you can find on JSTOR for free, and dúchas.ie has typed and handwritten stories collected in ireland, overlapping with Béaloideas to some extent. They can be harder to understand since sometimes the writing is intentionally over-dialectal to preserve the traits, but it's often more interesting since you can find fun little stories about different things. Stories from these collections are also sometimes put into smaller books or collections. (Béaloideas ó Chléire, an Seanchaidhe Muimhneach) you can usually find those books on Archive.org

Things to Listen To

Beo ar Éigean - Chatty podcast, one of the hosts has kerry Irish

Saol Ó Dheas - Munster Gaeltacht news show, not the most interesting if you don't live in the munster gaeltacht but there's a lot of it and the host has really good Irish, so you can focus on that even if the stories aren't gripping lol

Cartlann Bhóthar na Léinsí - Munster Archive show, they pull out older recordings of even more traditional speakers, and the host has very good Irish too, the older recordings are quite challenging to understand, but can be good.

Things to Watch

Seal le Dáithí - Talk show on TG4, host has Kerry Irish

Ros na Rún - Some of the characters have Munster Irish, it's a minority though

What did I do?

This isn't necessarily a guide, it's just what I did specifically.

After learning standardy Irish at school, I started talking to people on discord (Craic le Gaeilge and Celtic Languages), this was really helpful because I got to talk to a lot of knowledgeable people and get conversation practice even without being near to Irish speaking areas or events.

I also started listening to Beo Ar Éigean to practice my listening. I stuck to standard for a little while here and got to grips with basic grammar stuff because I was focusing on exams and stuff, but eventually I was taken with Munster Irish because some of the people I talked to a lot used it and because I liked synthetic forms. So I started working through Teach Yourself Irish with the help of people on discord, and that gave me a good basis in munster specific grammar and forms. From there I asked lots of questions (v important) and read the Irish of West Muskerry because I'm a nerd, wouldn't really recommend this if you're not that interested but it is kind of fun if you are. That helped me get a better understanding of Irish pronunciation (and spelling as a result of that). (I also read Peig at some point here) After that I started listening to a lot of Irish, trying to do at least 2 hours a day over one summer. An Saol Ó Dheas every day on my commute to work, and other stuff too, just trying to get as much exposure as I could. I use the host, Helen Ní Shé as my "language parent" - that is, I try to model my speech after hers. And currently I'm still focusing on just getting more and more exposure, and I've been reading more books in Irish.

[nothingenoughao3]

huge fan of Dreams in the Necromancer House! Phenomenal in general, but to be specific, I was very impressed with the pacing and structure of the fic. apologies if you’ve talked about this before, but how DO you structure your longer works? is there a specific outlining process you rely on? I ask because, while I technically *understand* the three act structure, I don’t like “get it.” I can feel when something is paced well but I don’t understand why or how, if that makes sense (and of course as a disclaimer I do understand that there are only guidelines, not hard and fast rules). Anyway, just super interested in your process and would love hear anything you have to say about it! ❤️

Well, first off, thank you for reading that whole damn story! I'm grateful to hear that you enjoyed it, and are curious about how it came to be.

I'd like to note, for people who read this and are not you, that I don't do Read More cuts anymore. I lost a ton of writing on my former blog because the name changed and the Read More links all broke forever. There may be spoilers for "Dreams in the Necromancer House" in this post, although not for the ending! Please keep in mind before you interact with this post! I am immune to spoiler damage but not everyone has this super power.

I had a specific split genre of story in mind. Pacing is strongly affected by what kind of story it is. What's acceptable levels of character-building in a drama will come across as unbearable time-wasting bullshit in a thriller. You can not explain the intricacies of the plot in some styles of horror, and it's more effective that way, but you generally must take the time to explain these things in a mystery, and so on.

"Dreams" is a cosmic horror/romance. Cosmic horror as a genre is driven by plot and relies on extremely vivid world-building (which is why so many of Lovecraft's narrators don't have names--they aren't necessary!). Romance as a genre is driven by character and relies on extremely vivid descriptors of those characters and their immediate physical reality (their bodies, their homes, etc). These seem like they'd contradict each other, but they augment each other if handled correctly.

So, chapter 9 is structured like this:

Dan talks to Matthews and pulls the Moby-Dick prank. Plot-driven, but with a bit of comedy to lighten the overall tone of the story, which has gotten pretty dark.

Matthews consults with Asenath, Derby and Clarke. Entirely plot-driven scene meant to remind the audience of the stakes.

Dan and Herbert get ready for the party, and The Shaving Scene plays out. Character-driven scene, light on plot and heavy on romantic elements.

Dan realizes why Herbert's sneaking off during the parties. Seems like it's plot-driven, but the emphasis on physicality, location descriptors, and the like reveal that this is another character-driven tangent.

Breaking it down like this, we can see that 1 and 2 are cosmic horror-themed, and 3 and 4 are romance-themed. The first half of the chapter provides the reader with a ton of necessary information while sprinkling in Danbert-flavored treats as a reward. The second half is more explicitly about Dan and Herbert's relationship, while continuing to establish what little set-up is still needed for the big opener of the next chapter.

The Shaving Scene is extremely light on plot, and it would be cut from the story if it were a pure cosmic horror tale. But for this kind of split genre, the scene was vital. It gives readers a chance to get to know Herbert and Dan a little better, fall more in love with them (if that's even possible), and incidentally, because it's NOT plot-related, it builds anticipation for the next big plot point at the party. If I've done it right, readers are constantly aware that Dan and Herbert are preparing to go to the party/revelry, that this is a Big Deal, and the reader's going to be worried despite the flirting that things are going to go Very Badly For Them. Then, as Scene 4 plays out, the reader's tricked into thinking the Very Bad Thing is just another relationship misunderstanding--only for Dan's "... oh, boy" to confirm that the Very Bad Things are going to be Very Much Part Of The Plot.

I think readers are smart and can pick up on cues, even if those cues are sometimes absorbed subconsciously (I've done this myself!). I feel like when I'm writing a scene where Dan's cooking food and there's a lot of descriptions of the incidentals in the kitchen, how the weather's been, how heavily he's been smoking, that readers will learn at a certain point that these are cues for "This is a romantic/character-driven part of the story". And if the scene begins with, or features, a ton of flashbacks and history that give it a broader scope that spans decades, then this is probably a cosmic horror scene. (Note that a LOT of Armitage and Asenath's scenes take this approach, and that gives them a different feel from how Dan and Herbert's romantic scenes are framed.)

Also, it was necessary to ease folks into this kind of structure. I feel like the opening four chapters were pretty much about establishing the world I wanted the characters to inhabit--introducing many of the important new cast members, establishing a timeline, bringing in elements that seem small but become hugely important later, etc. At that point, the romantic elements were very light and suggestive and past-tense. The first sex scene in ch. 4 was, primarily, there to let everyone know that yes this is going to be One Of Those Fics where they do in fact bang, they just aren't right now. And it ends with Dan having the same kind of emotional response I wanted from the reader: wistful and sad that they aren't together anymore, unsure of how it's going to be fixed.

(Not to get too parenthetical, but there are many meta-jokes like this in my writing. Like, uh. You know how Dan sometimes is like "I'd rather think about X than Y?" He's leaning on the fourth wall and acknowledging that the story is about to switch from cosmic horror to romance, or vice versa. Now you know.)

After those first few chapters, though, you can pick the story apart and see how romance starts to intrude more on the cosmic horror structure. Ch. 5 is primarily about The Plot, but then there's that bit with Herbert and Dan arguing about the chores and the cat. Ch. 6 opens with Dan talking about Herbert and their dynamic, has a bit about the plot again, and then veers into a long flashback regarding their breakup sex. The end scene with Armitage is comparatively brief. Ch. 7 has some plot elements, but we're getting into heavily character- and relationship-driven subplots interacting with the main plot.

At that point, building suspense becomes easier! If I want to delay the discovery of some element of the mystery, I can throw Herbert and Dan into an argument. And if I want to stop them from getting along too well just yet, I can throw more cosmic trauma their way. And if the story goes full throttle on cosmic horror (like in chs. 10 and 14), then I can throw in elements that raise the stakes by reminding people of the romance--Dan praying to Herbert for help, Herbert admitting that Dan is the cause of all of his insomnia. Those reminders hit so much harder when they're a surprise raising-of-the-stakes.

Now, you may be like "But how do you know when to switch around the structure?" and the answer is vibes.

More specifically, this is why I think writers tell other aspiring writers that they must read stuff in the genre they want to write. Do that and you'll pick up on the vibes of the genre: how much space you're expected to take up on characters, world, plot, theme, and so forth. I can generally rattle off how one should structure a lot of the fiction I'm interested in writing because I read a ton of that shit.

And if you don't have the time for that, I strongly recommend watching movies in the genre you want to write. For example, "Re-Animator" is almost perfectly divided into thirds. The first 35 minutes are character- and world-building and establishing of initial stakes; the middle 40 minutes dramatically raise the stakes and line up all the previously-established elements; and the last 30 minutes is all climax, all the time. The end of the film feels inevitable as it plays out, especially the last scene: there is no other way it could have gone, because nothing has been wasted--everything the movie put down in the beginning, it picked up in the end. That's good stuff, even if we like to laugh at the goofy shit, like Jeff Combs wearing a cat backpack.

The first things I wrote to completion were not short stories or novels, but plays--so I'd also suggest that you could consider a different act structure entirely for your stories, if the three-act structure doesn't feel intuitive for you. The five-act structure worked well enough for Shakespeare. Ancient Greek plays didn't really have acts. You just wrote another play if you wanted to continue the story over another 24 hours! Stuff like the three-act structure are tools, and if the tool doesn't work for you, there are other one available.

I have talked in another ask about how I do outlines and research and references. I relied on the structure of a lot of movies, TV shows, short stories (many of which were not Lovecraft), and board games to inform "Dreams", so for me, drawing pacing ideas from other storytelling styles has worked out pretty well.

It's very late where I am and I'm not entirely sure I've answered your question, and I'm sorry about that. If you have any other questions or need me to clarify something, feel free to send another ask! I appreciate you letting me know that "Dreams" meant something to you.

[welcometololaland]

1, 11, 24 for the fic year in review asks!

And I want you to know I was seconds away from clicking the 'following' button (which is actually the UNFOLLOW button) on your blog, just like I did to Rae, but I managed to stop myself lmao.

SARA YOU MONSTER! do you know how many times i've unfollowed @rmd-writes it's actually ridiculous. like every second day "oh sorry i unfollowed you don't hate me". thanks for the ask and for being a fake hater 😘

1. how many fics have i worked on since january?

eurotrip, the ring-in 2.0, never too late, call me, item number nine, cause of action, sweet dreams, never the same twice, my redacted advent fic andddd i technically started the redacted fic with rae (rainbow fish technically was written last year). soooo 10? and i planned maybe 3 more OOP. i've been a slower writer this year and i'm trying to be okay with that.

11. what fic was the most difficult to write?

never too late, the ring-in 2.0 and eurotrip all gave me significant angst this year!!! they annoyed me greatly lol.

24. did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

no BUT when i finish eurotrip i'm gonna round up every single person who has ever encouraged me and wants to get on a call and pop a bottle of fucking expensive champagne and drink it because i will simply never recover from that victory if/when it happens 💖 (you are welcome to join me).

from this ask game

[eddiediazismyhusband]

I think part of the problem I have (and this may be an unpopular opinion) is all the hopes and opinions and ideas people (fans) have about the new season. And I don’t just mean things like the “mustache = obvious gay Eddie” that’s happening. But thoughts on Bobby, his and Athena’s living situation, Gerrard as captain, let alone Buck, Eddie, and others.

I know a lot of spec is just for fun, but some people take it quite serious. And I know I’m newer to this fandom but sometimes I read serious takes and go “….but that would never actually happen?! I know many of us don’t trust Tim and the writers but realistically that would never be a storyline on a tv show.…that’s a fanfic.”

So I can’t blame you for your pessimism or want to avoid spec. I hope we don’t get a lot of bts stuff either too, because I feel like fans will be trying to (over)analyze everything to figure things out. Only to likely be disappointed because I don’t trust these writers to write/do anything half as creative, original or logical as fans come up with. Expectation is the enemy and I’m afraid a lot of fans have theirs set too high for this season already

anon i have disgraced you by leaving this burried in the inbox and i feel awful 😭😭

i think fandom in general (and i mean any fandom not just 9-1-1) have this tendency to blur the line between cautious optimism/spec and actually convincing themselves of something happening…

i think a lot of people (and if you are one of these people this is NOT a dig at you) still want to have faith that the writers are actually going somewhere with the story, and they do so by speculating and putting actual thought into what the overarching storyline could be but unfortunately after 6 seasons of waiting, i’m getting tired of the whole thing being dragged out.

it’s no longer a will they/won’t they between the characters for me because multiple times they’ve reached the point where they don’t need anymore of that build; the only will they/won’t they is in terms of the writing team actually going somewhere rather than continuing to bait us

i have no issue with spec/theorizing (i may not wanna see it but i just filter out the spec tags) but my issue lies with some of the more popular buddie blogs having this whole “i can sense that buddie is happening” and then treating people who are validly apprehensive towards getting our hopes up like we’re brainless idiots who don’t know what we’re talking about

even though we literally went through the same thing of buddieblr being like “s7 is our year i can FEEL it there is no way they aren’t going canon”….. just for them to not go canon bc the writers (yet again) changed their minds last minute when they got an early renewal and realized “oh- we don’t actually have to commit anymore, we can just keep baiting snd dragging them along— and they technically can’t call it queerbaiting anymore bc buck’s bi now!”

like everything surrounding this season has been screaming to me (NOT anything from oliver and ryan— ive spoken before about how i think they are where we’re at in terms of being strung along by the writers every season) that we are just being baited again.

and as far as the over-analyzing, i’ve seen so many people saying things like “omg oliver and ryan posting candids/photos and tagging each other buddie is obviously happening”……. as if oliver and ryan aren’t friends…. like i fear the two of them posting eacg other doesn’t really mean much if anything when they’ve done that throughout their friendship.

and just because there are some deranged people on the internet spewing hate about them being friends doesn’t mean that their posting is a sign of anything either other than the fact that they’re probably blocking the lunatics and posting each other anyway…. it’s not some gotcha to anyone in the fandom, it’s not a sign that buddie is coming, it’s two castmates being friends, and doing things that friends do all the time

overall, like i said, i have no problem with people (other than myself) engaging in spec and at this point the people who are getting their hopes up will only have themselves to blame if we’re let down again… my issue mainly lies with some of the bigger blogs being dicks to people raising valid concerns over the new season and not trusting the writers when the writers haven’t done anything to earn that trust; in fact having only done things to the detriment of that trust.

anyway, sorry for the super delayed and super long response, anon 😭😭 i’ve been neglecting my ask box lately in lieu of a spike in temu stans sending me hate yet again but i was just scrolling through and noticed this one and wanted to make a response!

[lacewise]

Reposting to my blog: Needle Lace Resources

Disclaimer: if you are a beginner, you can absolutely use a piece of paper, any threads you have on hand, and a stitch guide and end up with a good result. However if you want to have more control over your work (especially tension) or make larger pieces (or, god forbid, matching ones), you will quickly outgrow this setup. Most of the resources I recommend are specifically geared for beginners who want to become intermediates, and not absolute beginners. To address that, I spend a lot of time (in all my posts) explaining why the obvious shortcuts are more cut than short. So when you see links to my page, expect that in advance.

If I strike you as overly pedantic, just think of it as me desperately trying to project information back to my past self.

Book Resources and Reviews

https://www.tumblr.com/lacewise/731564386254258176/heres-a-list-of-all-the-needle-lace-books-i-have (book list)

https://www.tumblr.com/lacewise/731585929588948992/the-lace-guild-books-review (book reviews, still in print)

https://www.tumblr.com/lacewise/732288716382552065/alright-pat-earnshaws-book-needlelace-this-is (book review, out of print)

https://www.tumblr.com/lacewise/731216166444531712/i-know-that-a-lot-of-people-do-not-like-reading (explanation on why I recommend needle lace books—they have lots of diagrams and often better explanations of lace traditions if you’re looking to recreate something specific)

Resource Guides

https://www.tumblr.com/learning-needle-lace/681193878741729280/intro (comprehensive, uses the same materials I use when planning and practicing projects—unfortunately requires level of comfort with internet archive)

https://www.tumblr.com/learning-needle-lace/690860721418944512/hey-wondering-if-youve-ever-come-across-some (reticella specific)

https://www2.cs.arizona.edu/patterns/weaving/topic_lace.html (I also like messing around with this archive but wouldn’t recommend it to beginners because it’s a mess) (the entire weaving archive: https://www2.cs.arizona.edu/patterns/weaving/weavedocs.html )

Video Tutorials

https://youtu.be/bNxdoB9dpkI?si=gbkeu9ciHoZjjJWd (THE video tutorial series for learning needle lace, I have a meme recommending this—it’s perfect)

https://www.tumblr.com/pseuddamntired/768441288185069568/needle-lace-resources (great list of needle lace video tutorials, I’ve never seen several of these or many of the websites before)

https://www.sewhistorically.com/how-to-make-venetian-needle-lace/ (cites information from the Victorian era, which means some of the background is inaccurate, but does give a better idea of how the lace itself is worked)

https://pysankigirl.wixsite.com/graceslace/copy-of-videos (reticella specific, I love these tutorials because the voiceover helped me with many, many things—but the pixel count is basically 11)

Tumblr Tutorials (We Are Not Experts)

https://www.tumblr.com/learning-needle-lace/691216149779808256/close-ups-of-the-other-3-tear-drops (stitches adapted to aemilia ars)

Note: my tutorials are more “why you don’t do this” then “how to do this” because there are so, so many reasons to use stiffener behind your work (which is why pre-poking holes to guide your needle through the outline is recommended)

https://www.tumblr.com/lacewise/732026951071596544/part-1-completing-your-setup-aemilia-ars (my tutorials part one—I don’t know how helpful they will be, this focuses on getting started in aemilia ars and why things are done—aemilia ars is uniquely fiddly and the structure itself is what’s keeping it together… good luck) (also note that I don’t use diagrams or enough pictures of work in progress—I need to fix that)

https://www.tumblr.com/lacewise/732035947737333760/part-2-tacking-threads (I use “tacking down stitches” and “couching” interchangeably here but technically tacking is for aemilia ars for “this is extremely fiddly” reasons—since ground laces usually have more filling stitches, they need more support—anyway this recommendations on tacking/couching threads themselves—also don’t use synthetic threads for couching stitch. I haven’t tried it myself but I bet I can predict the results)

https://www.tumblr.com/lacewise/732103763408617472/part-3-ground-lace-setup (ground lace tutorial part 1—I realize my numbering system was weird but I worked from geometric lace onwards deliberately because some of the logic of working ground laces comes from their differences to punto in aria)

https://www.tumblr.com/lacewise/732192250737590272/through-the-horror-of-seeing-people-put-a-target (tacking down ground lace specifically—if you watch the videos on reticella you will find out that there are two ways to work reticella and I barely understand one—I make the outline as I go, but you can also put the outline down first)

https://www.tumblr.com/lacewise/732274532925194240/wait-i-do-have-something-to-say-about-the (this is really only applicable for crochet thread sizes 10-50ish but it’s a good starting guide for beginners and explains why the couching threads need to be a regular distance away)

Let me know if I’ve missed anything or there’s something I need to clarify. A lot of stuff just doesn’t make sense until you do it yourself so I *heavily* recommend the Michael Dennis video tutorials.

I do love alternative resources but oh my god is that the quickest way to run into problems you don’t understand. Which is why I recommend research via books. (I would like to document that stuff via blog posts and videos myself but unfortunately that takes time and understanding I don’t yet have.)

[tumblebagel]

OH MY GOD

I just realized this rant I've been sitting on for the past five years would go PERFECTLY on Tumblr. Any autistic persona fans out there, this post is for you. If you are a typical persona fan, or just regular autistic, you will also likely appreciate this.

For the past 5 years, I've been using my own theory to process and visualize how my brain works. I call it: The Press Spoon System.

For those who don't know, there's a common concept called "spoon theory" most often used by people with chronic illnesses, and neurodivergent people. It says that you have a certain number of "spoonfuls" of energy every day to use, and that you have to be careful expending your spoons, because you might not have enough for something important later. It's a nice visualizer too, imagining a stack of spoons in a drawer. You can't quite tell how many spoons are left, cause they're all stacked on top of eachother, but you can make an estimate.

Now comes the persona influence, or more accurately, the SMT influence. The Shin Megami Tensei battle system is called the "press turn system." the way it works is that you start your turn with a number of actions that you can use for skills. But, if you use the specific mechanics based in your skills, you can instead only spend half an action. With enough planning and luck, you can double the amount of actions you have in a given turn. Those mechanics specifically are Weaknesses (using the correct damage type on an enemy. e.g., using fire spells on an ice enemy), Critical Hits (a random chance that's usually only on physical skills), or Technical Attacks (specific combos of damage types and status effects. e.g., using a spell that does psychic damage on an enemy that's enraged). Also, if you use the mechanics poorly (whiffing an attack, or using Resisted/Blocked/Reflected damage types), then it instead spends 2 actions.

You've likely already caught on, but it's my blog, so lemme spell it out.

In the Press Spoon System, you wake up with a certain number of spoons for the day, and a certain number of tasks to work on. You can spend a spoon, to progress a task slightly (like doing damage to an enemy). Your damage types are different IRL skills you're good at: studying, digital art, writing, social skills, cleaning. Hitting a school assignment with a studying skill is a lot more effective than making progress by cleaning the nearby area. That's your equivalent of landing a Weakness, thus spending only half a spoon (for the sake of visualization, 1/2 spoon = 1 spork). You can spend spoons setting up debuffs on the tasks to make them easier to hit with other damage types in the future, like technical attacks. Or, sometimes, you get lucky and a task was way easier than you thought, like landing a Crit.

But also sometimes you try to work on something and completely whiff, which is draining and takes 2 spoons. Or you think that using a digital art skill will help you clean your room by making a pretty chart to work with, but it backfires because drawing process made your space dirtier, like a reflected attack which also costs 2 spoons. This also brings up the idea of health. While spoons represent how much stuff you can do before you turn into an ineffective husk for the rest of the day, health is a representative of mental stress. Drop to 0, and you deal with your breaking point, likely a panic attack. There are healing skills, but sometimes is better to just finish off a task so it doesn't hurt you any more in the future, even if it leaves you near-death at the end of process.

You could spend a spoon to call in an ally for a couple turns, but the ally can't do everything for you, and there's the chance that they could get hurt if you do call them in. Maybe that spoon is best spent defeat the school assignment that's been charging its attack for the past 14 days in the background. Maybe you want to stop a task from calling in reinforcements, or buffing the damage of another task, or delivering debuffs back to you:

Like a rage kind of status, which makes me use sassy/frustrated/passive-agressive attacks when a social skills based move would have been far more effective

Depression kind of status, which makes everything cost full spoons, no sporks

Scatterbrained, which targets a random enemy on the field whenever you use a skill

Or executive dysfunction, which cuts you down to one spoon at the start of the day

This has been a revolutionizing way of visualizing my mental health and has done SO much good for me over the past couple years. Unironically saved me so much trouble.

[lurkingshan]

Hi....If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

Thank you for the ask, I don't mind a bit! Though I will say that this particular question sent me into a minor existential crisis, because how on earth could I ever pick just 10 things that I love across all media. I don't know if y'all have picked this up about me yet, but I consume vast amounts of media, like...unbelievable amounts of media, it is my great joy in life. I consulted @bengiyo about how to approach this question, and he suggested a frame to help narrow it down: what are my favorites that someone else recommended to me, that I then felt compelled to recommend to others? Hope you don't mind the tweak! As always, keeping this in the realm of Asian media for this blog, here is what I got:

What Did You Eat Yesterday?

When I met @bengiyo and @waitmyturtles I learned very quickly that this was their all-time favorite, and if I didn't like it we were gonna have a problem (jk but not really). I hadn't watched it on my own because until recently (shoutout to our savior Gagaoolala) it was quite inaccessible and I hadn't yet stumbled onto @isaksbestpillow and found her amazing subs. Luckily, I have impeccable taste and WDYEY is in fact a masterpiece, so they watched me watch it, I lost my mind over how unique and brilliant and technically flawless it was, and we are now all bonded for life over our love for this show, which just returned for a second season and will hopefully continue forever. I love it so much I have even started reading the manga, and I am not a manga girlie by nature (I prefer reading prose), so you can be assured I absolutely will not be shutting up about it anytime soon.

Go Ahead

Credit for this one goes to @ginnymoonbeam for watching it first and then sending up a flare for me as a fellow cdrama enjoyer that this one was worth prioritizing immediately. I love big sprawling family stories that unfold over time, I love digging into intergenerational family trauma, I love good dad characters, I love found family dynamics, and I love a well done romance subplot embedded in a much bigger story, so this show hit so many of my sweet spots. It's #1 on my list of modern cdramas and I would recommend it to anyone.

Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Untamed

Speaking of cdramas, I must give a shoutout to @dangermousie who wrote this post summarizing their favorite danmei novels, which I found when I went looking for recommendations and was trying to figure out a way into this segment of Asian media. I admit I am a bit bougie about my reading material and modality, so I really can't deal with machine translations or reading on html pages, and thus I still have not read some of these as I am patiently waiting for official English translations to become available (me and 2HA are gonna have a party in 2024 I tell you what). I had already heard of The Untamed, of course, because I am a human person who lurks in online spaces, but reading the novel got me significantly more interested, and I quickly fell down a months long rabbit hole that included consuming the novel, the show, and copious amounts of fanfiction. This story is so complex and layered and full of fun mysteries and meaty moral quandaries and interesting family relationships and has an A+ second chance romance and one of my all time favorite characters to boot; it really took over my brain for a minute. And while it hardly needs me to recommend it given how popular it already is, I'm still gonna do it whenever I get the chance.

Mo Du/Silent Reading

And while we're on the subject of danmei, let me give a shoutout to my favorite modern danmei novel, which was recommended to me by an IRL friend who is not on tumblr. Mo Du is a sprawling mystery novel that spans five major interconnected cases, and it centers on an exceedingly competent police captain, Luo Wenzhou, and a young business heir/super genius, Fei Du, who start out with an adversarial relationship (but I bet you can guess what happens next!). The crime stories in this are almost shockingly intricate and every detail comes together in the end without a single loose end, which is impressive enough on its own, but somehow the author (Priest, who some of you will know as the writer of Faraway Wanderers aka Word of Honor) manages to also write a perfectly paced, incredibly compelling love story between the two leads that is layered with complex trauma and psychological hot buttons and secrets and lies that unfold organically alongside the mystery. I am in the middle of re-reading it right now and my love for it only grows stronger. The gif above is from a recent attempt to adapt this into a live-action drama that got quickly canceled, but honestly, the less said about that, the better (though Zhang Xin Cheng will absolutely remain the Fei Du of my heart). With China's censorship laws, there will be no faithful live action version of this story, so I highly recommend reading the novel.

Pachinko

While we're on the subject of novels, I must mention another IRL friend recommendation: Pachinko. This one is a sprawling multi-generational family historical fiction epic that tracks the lives of a Korean family that is forced to migrate to Japan during Japanese occupation in the early 20th Century. Y'all, this book is amazing, and it has now been turned into a television show airing on Hulu that is also quite good (though structured quite differently, but that's another post). I learned a ton of real history in the course of reading this, and I found the journey of Sunja and her family so compelling. The book has a real intersectional lens and digs deep into themes of oppression, racism, class disparity, and sexism, and is rooted in Korean values around filial piety, respect for hard work, religion, moral condemnation, and of course, the importance of food to communicate.

The Great Indian Kitchen

Switching gears, let me give a shoutout to this Indian film that my bestie @neuroticbookworm recently recommended to me and @waitmyturtles. This film is about a modern young woman who enters an arranged marriage with a family of high status (though maybe not of the kind you think) and explores her experience of oppression as a woman in a very patriarchal religious setting. The story is really compelling, I learned about a common experience for women in India, the narrative ended in an unexpected place (in a good way), and I really enjoyed the watch. And this film is on YouTube with good subs which I linked above, so it's quite accessible.

Be Melodramatic

Let's get back to dramas, shall we? I credit this one to @kdramaxoxo, who recommends Be Melodramatic constantly, and thank goodness because otherwise this under appreciated gem would have never landed on my radar. This is a beautiful story about a group of friends who move in together in the wake of personal tragedy and tracks their progress as they heal and move on from their hardships. The themes of grief and growth and change are quite poignant, the relationships, both platonic and romantic, are all very compelling, and the music is beautiful. If you haven't seen it yet, what are you waiting for (@nieves-de-sugui this is definitely a good one to add to your list).

Make it Right

Time for @bengiyo to get another shoutout. This is a Thai bl classic that doesn't get the love it deserves, and he is its number one promoter. I don't know when I would have gotten around to watching this if he hadn't recommended it so highly, and I'm so glad I did. I wrote about this one, why I loved it, and why I think it's under appreciated, and I highly encourage others to give it a try.

Coffee Prince

We will end on an OG kdrama classic, which I watched early on in my kdrama journey thanks to a recommendation from an IRL friend who said it was the best version of the well worn Asian drama genderbend trope that they had ever seen, and my god were they right. Not only was this my first Gong Yoo drama (a life changing experience in and of itself) but this one really took me by surprise for how sharp and progressive it was about gender fluidity, sexual identity, and the struggle toward self-acceptance way back when it aired in 2007. I recommend this one to everyone, and its a great entry point for people who prefer queer media and have (justified) suspicion of mainstream kdrama's treatment of queer narratives.

[prythianpages]

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going!

@acoazlove tysm for the tag! <3

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

Technically, 9,679. I did make an AO3 account but I got intimidated by all the tagging so I only transferred over one fic.

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

I wrote 49 fics this year, which is crazy to me. I didn't know how many I had written! But don't ask me how many series I've completed bc it's 0 lol

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

I currently have 7 ongoing fics but 3 are my witch aus so they're just interconnected one-shots.

4. What was your favourite thing you wrote?

I did answer my favorite fic to have written in 2024 here. If I had to pick a second one, it'd be my Cas fic, Lay All Your Love on Me.

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

I'd say it's my Eris fic, I Can't Pretend. It's part of my Like An Angel series. I had written smut before this one but it was my first time writing Eris smut & I wanted it to be a heat of the moment thing but also soft. For this series, there had also been a lot of pining & longing, so I didn't want that moment to feel rushed.

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or reception?

It was my fic, Be Patient. This one was part two to my one-shot or what was originally only a one-shot lol, Be Safe. I didn't expect there to be so much demand for part two and I aimed to please here but I was also really stressed & worried that part two would not live up to expectations. Though I wrote it, I felt disconnected to it so I thought it was going to flop but part two did better than part one. It honestly shocked me!

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved and went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

A Thousand Feelings. This one is an Az x Rhys's sister OC. I haven't written many OCs but I have noticed that they get significantly less love than x reader. I love this one though since it was inspired by my fav holiday, Dia De Los Muertos (Day of the Dead.)

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

ABBA. Literally all my fics from the beginning of 2024 were inspired by an ABBA song. If you read the titles of most of my fics, you might also recognize some other artists/songs like Hozier, No Doubt, The Smiths (just a few of many. I listen to anything except for country.)

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

Honestly, all my mutuals <3 There's too many to list but I love reading their stuff. I can't remember who was the first fanfic writer I followed on here (I was a silent reader for a bit until I finally made an acotar blog.)

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

@kymawrites! She's not new to tumblr, I just happened to stumble upon her fic, Pure Love late. Absolutely loved it and am excited to read more from her masterlist! <3

11. Did you start any collaborations? How did you start it?

I haven't. I get too intimidated by other writers. They're writing is just so good that my anxiety gets the best of me & tells me that I'd ruin any collab.

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

I'd say writing part two to Be Safe lol. It took me 3 months to finish but I was determined to come through with that part two 🫡

13.what did you learn about writing or creating this year?

To not care so much about notes/comments. Obviously, I love getting feedback on my fics (especially comments) but getting too caught up in that can be draining & take the fun out of writing. Now, I just write what I want to keep it fun.

14. What is your advice?

My advice for writing is to just keep writing but don't burn yourself out. Way easier said than done, though. Because right now, I'm dealing with a bit of writer's block so I tell myself it's okay if I only get like one new sentence in. It's better than nothing.

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

To start & finish a fic with consistent updates and to participate more in ACOTAR weeks. This past year, I only participated in Cas's & Eris's week & it was all last minute. I'd like to be better prepared this year.

Tagging: @ninthcircleofprythian, @sarawritestories, @kymawrites (no pressure though!)

[bleue-flora]

I just watched the finale again and what was the idea of c!drunz killing the server and reviving the server again supposed to mean, was that whole saw trap scene staged? because how were they gonna gather everyone and kill them all, and then revive them till they got their simple peaceful family and life back and if is staged, why even say all that to c!clingy if they were sick of c!clingy fighting c!dream all the time and seeing him as the big bad. If its not staged, why is it something that they thought would work? I feel like I've misinterpreted it as like c!drunz gathering everyone around like they're sheep into a pen lmao. Another thing is, they wanted to test the heroic/sacrificial limbo but the way they phrase the conversation is as if the person that died is gonna die forever while the other person leaves to tell everyone what happened which makes me believe that part was also staged because lets say if c!tubbo stayed behind and died making the sacrifice, then they'd revive him, find out the limbo and then would they like kill him again? like what would they do, put him in prison, let him be free, treat him like vikk and lazar despite saying that they made a mistake with those experiments and revived and killed too many times.

And if the server is off balance by revives and kills why would they want to kill everyone on the server then revive again to begin with. I'm just a little confused on the plan and I think you were the blog that said that it was all staged iirc and I wanted your insight into it because oh man I am struggling here. I do get their plan isn't meant to make sense though I feel like I missed something which has made me more lost.

Hmmm asking all the good questions. Well I should say to start that while I do think we should look at what staged duo does and says with skepticism, after all these two have shown they are liars especially to clingy duo so there are a lot reasons to doubt them. On the other hand 1) technically it can’t really be staged because it wasn’t super planned out, clingy duo came and they were not expecting it. 2) It is the finale and the content creators would know this so they would try and give us at least some answers…

Anyways while their actual Plan remains unclear, though I have some theories and thoughts about it [here], there are things we can determine pretty reasonably are legit or not, because we know they tell both lies and truth. For example, we know they experimented with Lazar and Vik - so they do spill truth obviously. It’s just how to determine what is and wasn’t true.

The biggest thing I can say we probably can say pretty strongly is that that saw trap was such a load of bs. For starters, it wasn’t meant for clingy duo, and when I’m thinking about characters who are willing to be selfless and die a hero, that would be significant enough to Dream or Punz to do this, not a whole lot of options come to mind. I’ve talked about it [here] about who it could be for, but since then I’m starting to wonder if it was supposed to serve a different purpose entirely… anyways the other thing and perhaps most noteworthy is that staged duo doesn’t seem to give a damn about the trap one way or another. When Tommy shows up in the finale and says Tubbo is dead, Dream doesn’t believe him, double checking with Punz to make sure he checked [clip] (checked what? No freaking idea, limbo I guess or more likely to see if there was a body probably… I don’t know). So the fact that they seem to care so little about their experiment and clingy duo in general is telling to me. The other thing is that the variables that change limbo seem to me to be pretty minor differences, like I’m not even sure if there’s a way to replicate and make it back to the same limbo, if it matters both on how you die and what happens before. I mean multiple people have died to a sword or axe, presumably specifically Dream’s sword or axe, I mean how different is Tommy dying in the finale to him getting beat to death in the jail cell with a potato, I mean plus technically Ranboo’s death could be seen as selfless right? Dying for his son seems kinda selfless, (but they didn’t even go talk to him in limbo anyways, so do they really care about limbo that much?), therefore I don’t really think that point matters. Hell even if it did, I don’t see why they couldn’t test this on Vikk or Lazar (maybe that was their original plan?…). I mean it just sounds so stereotypically evil - especially the way he presents it, the way he says they couldn’t test it because they are evil [clip], and the fact that it aligns with the hero dynamic fueling Tommy’s ego and such. In other words, playing into his world view. And whenever they are doing that I’d say it’s a major red flag. So, the saw trap I think we can say pretty reasonably, based on what we do know is facetious, the question of what the room is for and who however remains up for speculation.

As far as them killing everyone, I don’t think this is true either. I mean for starters why not kill Tubbo and Tommy to start the process, why not kill Sapnap like he talked about to Foolish, while on his own. Like if the goal is to kill everybody why let someone go tell everyone to come after them. Killing Sam, Sapnap, Foolish, Quackity… etc is a lot easier than trying to kill then all teamed up together. And we know unless they have some super weapon that they aren’t confident enough to even kill them all as they said in the finale and here [clip]. So unless they plan on trapping them in the prison and nuking them, or summoning a freaking dragon, or teaming up with XD or something, I don’t think that’s a feasible plan and they may be very screwed up mentally but they aren’t stupid.

They also are all about the balance but yet have no issues bringing Tommy back after he gets murdered, and they seem just in general so calm to whatever unbalance of such is going on. I mean we do know to some extent that it’s truth, XD tells Foolish his lives are limited because he’s low on power and he needs more death to fuel him, and we know the book is directly connected to XD since in the prison podcast it summoned him. So the unbalance is pretty confirmed as true even if perhaps their ‘solution/plan’ may not be. All the best lies have truth in them.

Which brings us to more questions than answers. Why bring clingy duo to prison in the first place? What and or who was the saw trap actually for? What was the actual plan? And why monologue to clingy duo at all? To which I unfortunately have little satisfying answers, which trust me frustrates no one more than me ;). What I can say perhaps their reason for lying and putting on a show at all was that I think they planned on letting someone go and for some reason wanted them to tell the others. And I base this on two things - their utter nonchalance, the way they just don’t seem to even care about clingy beyond being infuriated by them murdering Dream, and just the absolute unhinged way they act at times. The villainous, “This is so cute. We shouldn’t interrupt them” [clip]. The way they talk about the saw trap/experiment - “we’re just too evil” and like Punz’s ominous “choose wisely” as they leave [clip].

I don’t know but a good portion of that monologue feels very - we were practicing our evil laughs backstage before we walked out here, ya know… ;D

[sp-high-au]

OOC Info Yapping😔

Hey! Welcome to my little shitstorm of an au! Obviously I’m gonna talk about it for a little bit because I never learn when to stfu and I feel like there’s a couple of things that I need to bring up to tie the whole thing together.

So this layout is kinda new to me. Technically is a roleplay but also at the same time there’s not gonna be any interaction with other rp blogs. Y’all are more than welcome to rb for your own roleplays though. There’ll be plenty of random shitposts that can be taken out of context.

This blog is being made to mimic an old school website. Y’know the ones where there’s an interactive wall for the students to post on? Yeah that. The post on this blog are going to be a mix of three things (technically four but I don’t think my ooc/admin posts really count).

ANNOUNCEMENT POSTS: Announcement posts are going to be used in place of actual posts for a site admin. Most of the time they’re going to be for lore drops that aren’t really relevant but are kinda fun to put into the storyline. For example: a background character or a character who isn’t that relevant to the story arcs birthday.

WALL POSTS: These wall posts are supposed to be posted “by students.” Once again they’re going to be used to drop more lore crumbs because high schoolers gossip a ridiculous amount and I think it’s funny.

FIC POSTS: The final type of posts are going to be fic posts! These will be link drops to my ao3. The fics will contain the main lore/arcs. They’ll also be reblogged to my main.

This story has odd publishing schedule to say the least. There are twenty-two story arcs. The storyline itself starts September 2nd 2024 and ends June 18th 2026. Each story is also planned to be posted on an accurate date, like in real time.

One arc is equal to one month. For example Arc 1: Intro to The Losers Club, takes place throughout September. The first official fic is going to be labeled like this on any master list: 1.1: (INSERT TITLE HERE). These works will either be oneshots or multi chapters. Any multi chapter will be split into “parts” like if a multi chapter is four chapters in total and there’s only two chapter total it’ll be labeled simply like this: 2/4.

Also there are some darker themes in these stories! Firstly, it’s high school. What high schooler doesn’t have issues? Secondly, it’s South Park and that itself is pretty self explanatory. And finally, I’m fucking delusional and think it’s funny.

Speaking of me though, HI!!! If you’re a mutual on my main who’s stumbled upon this mess, yes it’s Clouded. If you don’t know know who I am you can find me at my main: @justyourtypicalwriter where I am much more active and my posts are very much unplanned, unlike this blog. It’s become a favorite project of mine in the short time I’ve been working on it though and I hope you grow to enjoy it as much as I do!

Here’s one of my many, many picrews of myself that I normally use as pfps because I have a problem and that was a lot of writing💀

BUT I’M STILL YAPPING BECAUSE YOU MAY BE ASKING:

“Oh Clouded what are the ships in this au?”

And to my rare pair lovers I say:

“You’re eatin’ good tonight bbg😘”

Because as much as a Style girlie I am, there are SO MANY absolutely amazing rare pairs that get such little recognition. I know how excited I get when I see a rare pair in a popular fic or comic so there’s some food for my fellow rare pair lovers.

SHIPS:

K2

Staig

Weidi

Tyde

Dip

Rebstella

Gregstophe

Jimmy/Nichole (what’s their ship name y’all)

There’s probably more but I can’t think of any lmao-

HAPPY READING!!!