#technically difficulties morning else

[oneechangoddess]

hmmm…..coulda sworn i saw something odd in the feed…..

*narrows eyes*

You saw noting unnarrow those eyes!

≖‿≖ -> (⊙‿⊙)

[gothsuguru]

no i’m not normal no i don’t claim to be (^ from my camera roll btw . mental illness or whatever idgaf i will always love bad bitches i will never apologize for that)

[muniimyg]

6: the madness // series m.list

note: say u missed me or else i’ll cry 🫵

taglist request: send a request with the title of this fic “aao” // DO NOT comment here or on the masterlist . it gets confusing and i prefer answering and tagging through asks !!!

🏷�� permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @pamzn @defzcl @maryy1300 @whoa-jo @taetaecatboy @jksusawife @un06 @firesighgirl @rrosiitas @butterymin @parkinglot-nights @musicjournalsjdb @kissyfacekoo @jkslvsnella @vampcharxter @bloopkook @somehowukook @bbystarcandykoo

//

Timing.

You’ve never really understood it. Not to mention the whole invisible string theory and how implausible it seems… How is it that you can coexist with the love of your life for years and not be with them until the time is right?

Isn’t that strange?

Love is all-consuming, inevitable, and perfect, but its greatest weakness is a mere concept: time.

Speaking of time, you’re early.

As you enter the restaurant and greet your friends, you can’t help but check your phone every other minute. Waiting for a text from him, checking the time, and wondering when he’ll arrive… It feels exhausting to be in this state of longing.

How is it that you’ve been friends with him for so long and now you need him more than ever?

To hold you and tell you everything is alright.

To smile at you like you’re his favorite person in the entire world.

To just be with him.

Even if today wasn’t life or death, you felt so helpless. It felt like everything was against you.

Yes, it was just about a stupid presentation (that barely scratches the surface of your future), but it was still a tough thing to get through alone. It was unexpected and filled with minor mistakes, making it feel like a complete defeat.

So much happened.

First, you slept through your alarm.

Though you made it right on time, you didn’t have the extra moments to prepare and run through your presentation like you had originally planned.

Then, since there was no time for prep, you encountered technical difficulties. Your notes were missing for some reason…

And your stuttering!

God, you never stuttered so much in your life.

It was truly an off morning.

… And it doesn’t end there.

Nope!

As you texted Jungkook and updated him, you remembered that you had a rescheduled quiz to take… You know, the one that you completely forgot to review last night because your head was all over this stupid presentation.

The quiz went fine but it could’ve been better.

You know you could’ve done better.

That’s probably what annoys you the most. Everything that occurred today wasn’t up to your standard performance level. Humanizing it is difficult because the truth is simple…

Some days just aren’t good.

Some days you just have to take the L.

Some days you just need to breathe through.

And that’s okay.

Because after all the bad, losing, and catching-your-breath moments—there’s him.

The very thought of him eases you. Talking to him makes you feel like you’re bigger than the bad and the losing. Being with him is as easy as breathing.

“Hey ___,” an unfamiliar voice disrupts your thoughts. You turn your head to see who it is. Beside you, a tall man with a broad build offers you a smile. He has short hair and dimples. Even with just his appearance, he’s charming (you can’t deny that).

Politely, you return it but it’s obvious you’re confused.

“… I’m so sorry,” you feel slightly embarrassed to not remember his name. “You are?”

“Mingyu,” he introduces himself, stepping closer and offering his hand. You take it, shaking it slowly and unsure.

He tries again.

“I’m Jungkook’s friend,” Mingyu explains. “You’re Jungkook’s… Uh?”

“O-oh!” you avoid the question and redirect the conversation. “Are you in his friend group with Jaehyun and them?”

He scoffs. “By ‘them’ you mean those guys?”

Mingyu points to a group of tall guys hovering over the menu display. You count them and can’t help but laugh.

Then, you notice one.

“Is that DK? I think Jungkook introduced me to him when we were walking home a few weeks ago!” From where you are, you wave at DK. DK sees you from the corner of his eye and sends you a smile. He gestures for you to come over. For the second time, you smile politely and feel stuck.

What now?

“What’s Jungkook doing introducing you to DK and not me?” Mingyu chuckles, attempting to lighten the mood.

You purse your lips. “Ohh.. I get it.”

“Get what?”

“You’re cheeky,” you observe. “Yup… You’re definitely friends with Jungkook.”

Mingyu puts his hands up in surrender and then on your shoulders. “Guilty as charged.”

You laugh.

He likes your laugh. It’s soft and attractive—especially when you throw your head slightly back. Intrigued, he invites you to sit with them.

“You know the others, right? Hobi and them?”

“Yeah!” you answer him happily. “Hobi and I are actually pretty close—“

Mingyu’s puppy eyes light up with excitement. “Oh, shit really? So you don’t need to get to know them or anything?”

You blink at him.

“I guess?”

“Great!” Mingyu beams. “Good. Cool... Sit with me! I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

You know it’s all friendly nature.

Mingyu is known for being like this.

Goofy, a little deceptive, but a good guy overall. You have nothing to fear! Especially when he’s friends with Jungkook, right? He wouldn’t think of trying to flirt with you… Right?

What are you to Jungkook again?

Before you know it, Mingyu’s hands find yours. As he laces your fingers together, you feel your chest tighten.

This feels weird.

It feels like betrayal even though you know it’s not. Isn’t it ridiculous to be thinking this way?

You run excuses and options in your head.

Do you pull away and laugh it off? Do you just let him hold your hand and lead you to sit with him and the others? You aren’t sure… But the one thing that is clear is the look of annoyance on Jungkook’s face as he steps into the restaurant and his eyes land on your hands.

“Jungkook!”

As cinematic as it can be, that’s what it is. You shake Mingyu’s grasp off and rush to Jungkook. He’s completely taken aback, stumbling as you crash into him. A small laugh escapes his lips, as he finds your tiny charge at him to be the cutest thing you’ve done thus far. He barely walked in and you’re already in his arms.

Heaven, he thinks to himself.

As he wraps his arms around you, he kisses the top of your head. “Wow, look at you. Are you sure you’re my girl? Not shy anymore? Not avoiding me? I’m so proud of you, mi.”

He smells like him. Like his laundry detergent and his skin after his workout—a little sweaty but so addictive.

Is that weird?

Most importantly… Who cares?

He’s here.

You can breathe him in. You can breathe again.

You groan in embarrassment. Pulling away, you keep yourself close enough to rest your chin on his chest. He lowers his gaze at you, eyes softening as his lips curve into a pout.

“Bad day?”

“Better now,” you hum, hugging him tighter. He laughs and gently tickles your sides. Your laughter increases, causing you to let go of him. He takes your bag from your hands and swings it over his shoulder. His fingers brush against yours as you two walk to join your friends who go ahead and get seated.

“Hey, am I crazy or was Mingyu holding your hand—”

“___!” Mingyu calls for you.

You and Jungkook turn your heads and see him patting a place for you. Without a second thought, Jungkook lifts his hand to wave and you hold onto him tighter. Exchanging looks, he then proceeds to guide you towards his circle of friends and away from the ones you’re familiar with. Passing by Hobi, you give him a look.

A ‘help-me-get-out-of-this,’ look.

Hobi sticks his tongue out at you and mouths, “you’ll be fine, bitch.”

By the time you gather your thoughts, Jungkook has already introduced you to his other group of friends. You completely blank out as they respond and introduce themselves. It’s only for a few seconds and you already had an idea of who they all are anyway.

The campus calls them the 97 liners.

They’re known for being…

Boys.

Decent ones at that, but they’re definitely energetic. Amusing almost all the time, competitive and intimidating when they need to be. Through rumors and observations you’ve made from afar, it made sense to you where Jungkook gets his playfulness from.

He’s…

A lot like them.

He’s definitely himself. It’s interesting.

Mingyu scoots over, making enough room for you and Jungkook. He dabs Jungkook up, greeting him as warmly as he greeted you. The others continue their conversations, asking for your input every so often. You quickly realize how charismatic everyone is, and to be completely honest, it overwhelms you.

But with Jungkook beside you, it doesn’t feel like a bad thing. He squeezes your hand under the table every so often when he notices your gaze wander. It’s like he’s gravity to you.

“Okay, so we already ordered… But we can order again if there’s something specific ___ wants,” Mingyu says, rather bubbly. He clears his throat, reaches over the table, grabs the menu and offers it to you.

“Yah, yah, yah,” Jungkook sends a glare to Mingyu, yanking the menu from him. You turn to look at him and find that he doesn't look amused. His eyes are fixed at his friend. With an intimidating tone, he warns; “Mingyu, stop flexing.”

Mingyu shakes his head, not taking it seriously. Jungkook and him have always had a playful friendship anyways. “I don't know what you're talking about... I’m not flexing. ___, feel it! I swear I’m not flexing right now.”

Jungkook tightens his grip on your hands.

Taking a sip of your water, you take your time to swallow and gather your thoughts.

“Don’t you gym with Jungkook?”

Dumb question.

“I gym more than him,” Mingyu corrects you.

Wow.

Stupid answer.

You can't help it. A laugh escapes your lips. “Is that supposed to impress me?”

Jungkook lets out a hearty chuckle, liking the way you answer. He feels proud of you. He feels like he definitely chose the right girl.

Mingyu smirks, leaning back.

He thinks this is fun.

It is fun.

“Ehhh.. I mean, if you ever let me take you on a date, I’ll show you what it means to be impressed.”

Jungkook’s smile drops.

Yours does too.

You shift closer to Jungkook and avoid Mingyu's eyes.

“H-honestly, I’m not feeling picky tonight. I’m sure whatever you guys ordered will be delicious.”

The rest of the conversation is easygoing as everyone patiently waits for the food to arrive. Mingyu’s attention turns back to his friends, as he takes the hint from your avoidant eyes. To him, it was unserious.

Hopefully, it’s also whatever to you.

As the food arrives and is set on the table, Jungkook exchanges a few side comments and whispers context into your ear. You giggle and feel your heart race when he places his hand on your thigh.

“Jungkook…”

“Hm?”

“Your hand,” you warn.

“What about my hand?”

“It’s on my thigh.”

“I know,” he snickers. “Wish it was somewhere else.”

You gasp and can’t resist hitting his chest. He takes the hit like a man. He knows he deserves it.

On the table is a plate of shrimp. You pick one up with your chopsticks and begin to peel it. As Jungkook eats, you place the freshly peeled shrimp on top of his rice. He smiles at you brightly, his heart close to combusting.

“You didn’t have to—”

Jungkook’s words are cut off as you hear Mingyu whine, “Awh, no fair! Peel me one too, please!”

You nod and answer his request. Taking another shrimp and beginning to peel it, you then finish quickly and place it on top of his rice too.

Mingyu eats it happily.

Meanwhile, Jungkook’s chest tightens. Again, it’s such a minor thing to happen… Yet, it irks him so much. He’s no boy, though. This isn’t a perilla leaf tantrum—no, he was much too mature for that.

This was… Clarity.

In between bites, Mingyu brings up a fascinating topic.

“Why are you looking at her like that?” he blurts. Jungkook hadn’t even noticed he was looking at you a certain way. What was it? Was it too revealing of his feelings?

Wait… What even is he feeling?

There’s a sense of jealousy and frustration wrapped around the core of it all; his liking of you.

“I’m not looking at her in any way,” Jungkook responds, taking a sip of water. You continue to chew and look away.

“You totally are,” Mingyu laughs. “Hey, is it because you used to like her?”

Jungkook doesn’t miss a beat. “Where did you hear that?”

“Ohh.. So it’s not true, then?”

“Nah,” Jungkook scoffs. “I just don’t get why it’s a rumor and why it’s in the past tense. It’s true… I like her. She knows it too—wait, you fuck… Do you even read the group chat? I talk about her all the fucking time.”

Mingyu’s eyes light up.

“Oh my god!” he gasps, piecing everything together. “Shit, right. I remember now. God, why’d that take me so long to connect? Of course! This is ___. The ___! Ice skating bullshit, right? Pocky kiss or whatever?”

Your eyes widen as you turn to Jungkook. “You told them?”

Jungkook smiles innocently.

“I have the best kiss of my life and you expect me not to tell my boys?”

He has you there.

Mingyu laughs, murmuring about how down bad Jungkook is. When you feel your cheeks heat up, you quickly bury your face into your hands. You feel so embarrassed… But at the same time flattered.

It’s awful.

To make matters worse, the butterflies keep fluttering as Jungkook tilts his head and smirks at you. He finds your shyness the most precious thing in this entire world. The mere fact that he makes you feel and act like this?

Oh, it’s remarkable.

Jungkook can't help but compare your behavior from earlier to now. How you took initiative and ran into his arms as if they were your safe haven—and now there's this.

You like this, right now.

So utterly his without him much being done or said. It's an understanding. It's simply how it is.

He chuckles, as he wraps his arms around you and squeezes you into a tight hug.

“Ahh... You totally folded."

With his words, your eyes widen. You push him away and roll your eyes at him. He teases you, mocking the way you cling onto his body.

You huff but let him hold onto you. From here on out, you two keep it casual and continue your conversations with everyone. He piles food onto your plate and in exchange you bring the food to his mouth.

Jungkook eats happily.

When the dinner is over, everyone goes their separate ways. 

Jungkook’s friends all hug you goodbye (Mingyu takes his sweet time) and leave him to walk you home. Hand in hand, you two wave goodbye and earn a few winks from Hobi. To that, you roll your eyes and brush it off. 

The walk with Jungkook is nice. 

The conversation between you two is so natural and good. You talk about the presentation mess up in more detail and he listens well. He empathizes with your feelings and understands. He’s so easy to talk to. He gets you. He makes you laugh even when what he’s saying isn’t funny. 

Is this how it’s like when you have feelings for someone? 

How embarrassing. 

When you two reach your front door, he looks at you longingly. 

“Feel better?” he asks you. You notice how gentle is tone is. How thoughtful.

“… About everything? The presentation and shit… Bebu, at the end of the day you did what you could. The grade your received is literally still an A—w-what”

Jungkook is startled. 

You grasp the fabric of his hoodie and pull him close. Without a second thought, you take a step closer to him and lean in. With urgency, you kiss him. 

Deep. 

Needy. 

Lovingly. 

His eyes flutter shut as you deepen the kiss with your tongue. He gives you way, parting his mouth open for you to explore and do as you please. As he kisses you back with the same kind of energy, you smile into the kiss. 

When you pull away, Jungkook is in disbelief. 

“... Now what?”

You clear your throat, feeling your lips tingling from the kiss. 

“S-sorry,” you gulp. “I d-don’t know what came over me… I just—”

“Why are you apologizing?” he blinks at you slowly. “I didn’t ask for an apology. I asked, now what?”

You tighten your lips. 

“Now? I… I just need some air.” 

Jungkook nods his head, eyebrows furrowed together. He understands you. 

Before you can open your mouth to defend or redirect, he beats you to it. 

“Yeah? Me too.”

Before you know it, he kisses you. 

Jungkook kisses you like a silent plea. Even though he has already confessed; this felt like another. 

The way he kisses you feels like a new language. He knows just when you kiss you more and when you to be delicate. He cups your jaw with the palm of his hand, tilting your head so he can kiss you better.

Which is so fucking weird… But it happens like never before.

He kisses you better.

Breaking away from the kiss, you two catch your breaths. As you do so, you clear your throat.

“Wanna come inside?” you ask, taking his hand.

He smirks, unable to stop himself. 

“Sure… But I’m gonna need some clarification on that offer… Come inside where?”

In your dimly lit kitchen, you two make yourselves a cup of tea.

Jungkook multitasks by making passes—saying that the water is still cold since you’re hotter than it. He sneaks in a few kisses on your cheeks as you tell him he’s being stupid. You two laugh as he lifts you up to sit on your kitchen island. He makes himself comfortable in between your legs.

There, you caress his hair.

He is so handsome. You love the way his nose just fits his face… How round his eyes are and even the scar on his cheek. It’s so precious.

He’s perfect, you think to yourself.

As you get lost in your thoughts, Jungkook feels so much comfort and freedom with your touch. It feels like rest. For a moment, he shuts his eyes and takes in how much he loves your touch.

Breaking the silence, you tug on his hair. “You need a haircut.”

He shakes his head, eyes still closed.

“Literally got one two weeks ago.”

“Yeah,” you realize he’s right. He did cut his hair two weeks ago. He came over that night just to show it off. “... But I liked Mingyu’s hair! It was so short. I feel like it would suit you too.”

He opens one eye and gives you a weird look.

You mimic it.

“What?”

Jungkook lifts his face.

“So… Was it just me but I definitely caught Mingyu trying to shoot his shot with you, right?” He snickers, tilting his head as he recalls what he saw. "He literally asked you out."

You shrug, explaining Mingyu's attempt to hold your hand as a friendly gesture. "He’s just friendly, right? He also tried to hold my hand to lead me to the table and that was kinda… Unexpected? But he’s like that, right? He’s just friendly. Like a puppy! Golden retriever energy.”

"Maybe," Jungkook responds, his tone betraying a hint of uncertainty. "Y-yeah. I mean, the shrimp thing was worse."

You laugh softly. "What? This is about the shrimp thing? I peeled it for you too… And it’s not like I peeled his because I wanted to. He asked. It was lighthearted."

"I know that," he reassures you, his tone softening. "I’m not that insecure to pick a fight over peeling shrimp. You don’t have to convince me it was nothing. I know it was nothing.”

Confusion flashes across your face at his mixed signals. "Are you upset?"

"Maybe," he admits quietly.

Then he hesitates.

“Actually, I think I’m frustrated. I’m not mad. Sorry if I sounded aggressive—"

"N-no, it’s fine," you reassure him, gently cutting him off. "Why are you frustrated, bebu?"

Jungkook offers you a weak smile. "I don’t get it…"

"Get what?"

"All this shit and we’re still not together.”

Your brows furrow slightly in confusion.

Taken aback, you ask him, “what’s that supposed to mean?"

Gesturing between the two of you, Jungkook expresses his confusion. "This… I mean, what is this? We’re together, aren’t we?"

"Jungkook—"

"I’m just… I don’t get it. Even if you thought he was just being friendly, why didn’t you just say you were my girlfriend? Mingyu would’ve stopped flirting with you."

"So it’s my fault?" you huff, feeling offended at the pitch of this idea. "I thought your friends knew—"

"Well… Yes. I talk about you, and it’s not like I’m ditching parties to study in that stupid library—"

"Can you leave the library out of this?"

"Okay," he sighs, relenting. "Sorry… I just… They know how I feel about you. I guess they don’t know how you feel about me, and… I mean, did you tell him we were together or not? Because if I had to remind him who you were to me, I don’t think you told him that we—"

"Jungkook—"

"No, I’m being serious," he interrupts, his tone becoming more stern. "Why didn’t you just—"

"You never asked me out!" you interject, frustration evident in your voice.

Jungkook stares at you blankly, prompting you to continue. He runs everything back in his mind.

You were right.

With all these moments, he’s been so busy planning how to get reactions out of you and completely missed out on so many perfect opportunities.

“You never asked me to be your girlfriend. All you’ve been doing this entire time is trying to get me to flirt with you, kiss you, or trick me into dates… You want me to act like your girlfriend? Ask me to be. I’m not built for situationships… And honestly? I’ve been waiting—patiently and elegantly at that. There were so many times where I wanted to hold your hand and give in. You talk about how you’ll get me to fold or whatever—fine.”

You take a breath, caving in. “This is it. I’ve folded! God, do you even know how hard it is to study next to you in that stupid library because y-you… You give me butterflies.”

Jungkook reaches for you. You let him touch you but your heart stays still, fighting to get these feelings out. Your voice wavers with emotion.

“A-and it’s so… I don’t know how you do it. At some point, I set them free. Like, fine, okay! Fly high, my butterflies… But for what?"

There’s a sense of urgency that awakens in you. Never in your life have you ever felt the same way for anyone.

It feels like defeat and victory all at once.

It feels like peace and war all at once.

It feels like love.

Oh, the madness.

To love someone this wide and deep… To love someone at all. It is everything beyond you. How it radiates through your body and onto his lips… How everything unfolds and reveals him no matter what.

You can’t decide if the way you’ve fallen is utterly heartbreaking or romantic. Maybe it’s both.

Let’s say it’s both.

All you know is that with glossy eyes and a fragmented understanding of timing, you tell him;

“Jungkook, I set my butterflies free, and they flew to you."

[moomine]

backwash III | daisuke

author's note: thank you to literally everyone who’s reading this! you guys are so so sweet and i love you all <3 if you want to be part of a taglist for future updates feel free to reply or dm me!! (cover image credit)

summary: (daisuke x f!reader) Sleep is increasingly hard to find on the Tulpar. At night the reader spends her time in the cockpit, thinking about home. When she feels the whim to sleep, she ventures back to the sleeping quarters, only to bump into Daisuke. Instead, she joins him for a midnight snack and some conversation in the lounge.

word count: 2,372

warnings: no trigger warnings! all characters are 18+

now playing: Dave Bixby - "Morning Sun"

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

EMPLOYEE STATEMENT 034—

There was this movie I watched once when I was a kid, about a little girl who falls from the sky. Although I can’t remember the title of it now. I do remember that she was a part of another world, a part of something bigger. She was important. I don’t think you have us write these to talk about movies, do you? I’m sure you’d rather hear about the operations on board, or the technical difficulties, or if there’s been any damage to the cargo. You know, the “important stuff”.  Everything is running smoothly so far. Is that good?

I want to be a part of something bigger one day. Hopefully this experience will help me. I’m grateful to have this opportunity.

DAY THIRTY-THREE—

Pony Express allowed a maximum of five hours of sleep to their employees on haul. During those five hours, the Tulpar was shadowed by a veil of utter stillness. A silence not too dissimilar to that of a library, or that painful pause in awkward conversation. It was too quiet, which led you to stare at the ceiling until the fatigue of work or boredom got the better of you. Even when you could fall asleep, it was far from restful. Over the past month you had gotten the worst sleep of your entire life thus far. Worse than when you lived in those co-ed dorms with unruly neighbors and argumentative hallways. Worse than those nights thunder cracked down from the darkened sky and you clutched stuffed animals in your chubby, child hands. After a certain point, you had given up on finding sleep at all.

The computer screens within the cockpit would beep on occasion, the sound barely audible over the soft plucking of guitar strings in your headphones. The coords of some old folk song filled your ears instead. You sat in the captain's chair, curling in on yourself with your knees to your chest and arms around your person. Your head snuggled into the dip in your legs, cheek pressed your knee cap as you stared at the sea of glowing green.

Curly had given you permission not too long ago to sit in the cockpit at night. Within the first month of your apprenticeship, you had grown on him quite a bit. The captain had always been a kindhearted person. He was a people pleaser to his core, a man simply happy to help. Curly saw a lot of himself in you, and he knew what it was like to feel, well, restless.

“As long as you promise not to touch anything,” he had said, prefacing his next words with a comforting smile, “you have my permission to use your clearance to the cockpit at night. But if word gets to the higher ups, they’ll have my head, understood? We wouldn’t want that, now would we?”

Normally, you tried to pay attention to how long you had been sitting there, keeping track of each song that played to count the minutes as they passed, but tonight you hadn’t. With a sigh, you reluctantly stood from Curly’s chair, deciding to give sleep another try. You slipped your Walkman into the pocket of your pajama pants and left the cockpit. Each step you took was quiet, almost imperceivable, as you walked down the hall toward the sleeping quarters. You didn’t want to disturb the others, although you had a feeling nobody else was sleeping all that well either. The rusted, trusty pipes groaned as you passed, their settling moans somehow bypassing the volume of your music. It made you feel uneasy. You reached into your pocket and turned the music up a bit in an attempt to drown out the sound. 

Rounding the corner, you finally reached the door to the sleeping quarters. Just as you reached for the door handle, it slid open seemingly on its own, causing you to flinch. Standing there—holding a flashlight in one hand and with the other placed against his chest—was Daisuke, looking far more caught off guard than you felt. You winced as he shined the light directly into your eyes.

“Holy shit, dude,” he breathed, voice dropped to a raspy whisper. “You straight up scared the hell out of me. What are you doing walking around in the dark?” Daisuke adjusted his aim and shot the beam at the ceiling instead, creating enough light for the two of you to see each other a little better.

With a soft laugh, you pulled your headphones from your ears, allowing them to hang around the back of your neck. “I’m sorry. Couldn’t sleep.”

“You too?” Daisuke questioned.

“I’m surprised anyone can sleep on this thing,” you whispered. “Where are you going?”

His eyes dropped in embarrassment as he used his free hand to rub nervous circles against the side of his neck. “I’m… I’m grabbing a snack from the lounge. You wanna come?”

“Yeah, if you want me to.” You didn’t hesitate. Anything sounded better than tossing and turning. You stepped to the side, permitting him enough space to walk out of the doorway then alongside you.

Daisuke breathed a chuckle at your response. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want you to.”

“Then I guess I’m coming,” you said in a hushed, playful tone.

Daisuke looked at you with a smile and nodded, shining his flashlight down the hall as the two of you began to walk in silence. In the quiet of the hall, the door to the lounge seemed to open with a deafening wheeze. Deep, royal blue illuminated the large room. The night-time window screen displayed a starry sky with wisp-like clouds, bathing the room with an otherworldly glow. It reminded you of going to the aquarium as a kid, surrounded by water and the smell of saltwater. You half expected to look up and see sharks and fish swimming overhead, but you knew all there would be was a dull, blank ceiling and slumbering lights.

Daisuke stuck his head through the doorway, peeking to see if anyone was already inside. When he determined that the coast was clear—although it wouldn’t have mattered anyway considering the noise of the door, he motioned for you to follow him inside.

“Hell yeah! The place is ours,” Daisuke celebrated, speaking louder once the door closed behind you two. He walked toward the vending machines with long, intentional strides. You tread on his heels, gaze fixed on him in amusement as he looked over the different options. 

You pulled your Walkman from your pocket, then leaned against the bar, palms pressed to the countertop as you pushed yourself up, and took a seat on the cool, brown laminate. “Is there normally someone else here?”

“Hmm?” He barely heard you, too fixated on what he was going to eat. As he processed what you had said, the words loading behind his eyes in a turning spiral, he ordered a pack of freeze-dried fruit and tore into the package. “Oh, nah. Not usually. I mean, I’ve seen Anya in here once or twice, but she��s always coming from medical bay. Getting coffee for those late nights, I guess.”

“She works too much,” you noted. “I wish she wouldn’t push herself like that.”

“You two seem close.” Daisuke approached, leaning against the counter beside you.

“Yeah. You could say that.” A tender smile graced your lips at the thought of you and Anya being close.

There was a pause, a brief lull in the otherwise newborn conversation. A series of crunches sounded from your right where Daisuke stood as he popped piece after piece into his mouth. You glanced over at him, the tenderness of your smile warping into something more entertained. He glanced over at you in turn, his mouth full of apple as he mustered a lopsided smile.

“Hey, it’s your Walkman,” he exclaimed after a swallow, pointing at the dated tech in your lap. “Whatcha listening to?”

“Oh,” you peeped with a suddenly flustered look on your face. “It’s a mix my mom made for me. Just a bunch of old folk stuff she used to play for me when I was little.”

“Can I listen?” he asked, shoving another piece of fruit in his mouth.

“S-Sure, yeah.” You unplugged your headphones and played the tape. It crackled, the old speaker not what it used to be. Or what it ever was, truthfully.

Maybe the quality of the sound would have bothered somebody else, but not Daisuke. As your small corner of the lounge filled with the sound of guitar—the stories of rural towns, first loves, and early mornings, Daisuke set his snack on the counter and listened intently. It was far from what he’d normally like, but something about listening to it here, with you made it sound perfect.

“It’s funny, actually. I never used to like this stuff back on Earth, but lately this is the only one I want to listen to,” you said over the music.

“You must really miss her.” Daisuke inched closer, standing less than a foot away from you as he leaned against the counter. His gaze flickered up to your face, quietly admiring the curves and arches of your profile. Under the blue light of the night time window screen, any blemish or imperfection on your face seemed to vanish. Not that he had ever noticed any imperfections on you. Matter of fact, for some reason, he couldn’t imagine seeing any part of you as imperfect. Even if he tried. There was a somber look in your expression as he spoke, one that made his stomach twist in knots.

“So much. I didn’t think it would be this hard being away from home.” Your voice was just above a whisper now. You felt your eyes begin to burn, the familiar sensation of tears welling in the corners as you tried to suppress the ebbing flow. With the shake of your head, you let out a quick laugh, feeling the tension gradually lifted from your shoulders. “What kind of music do you like?”

Daisuke didn’t blink or care about the change in discussion. He didn’t care about what the two of you talked about, and he wasn’t going to pry either. He knew that you would open when you felt comfortable enough to do so, and he was happy to wait however long that would take.

“A bit of everything, I guess. It kinda pisses me off when people say that and, like, they don’t actually mean it.” He slid his snack off of the bar and extended it to you, shaking it as the pieces inside rattled against each other. “I have a pretty impressive vinyl collection back home. Got everything from Etta James to Duster. You should see it sometime.”

Weakly, you smiled and took a piece of the fruit from the package. “Maybe when all of this is said and done. After the haul?”

“I’d love that,” Daisuke responded quickly, eyes trailing over your face. After another moment of silence, a brief break in conversation, he shifted on his heels and looked away. “So, you uh… you got anyone waiting for you back home? Y’know, like friends? A boyfriend? Or uh, a girlfriend? If you, like, swing that way or whatever. Which would be totally cool, obviously. I’ve got a bunch of gay friends-”

“Daisuke,” you said with a hint of that ever familiar amusement in your voice. “Relax, okay?”

He looked back at you and nodded. “Right, yeah… So, do you?”

“Friends? Yeah, a bunch. I miss them too. But a partner, not so much…” You felt your cheeks light up, a soft pink flush dusting the peaks of your cheekbones and the ridge of your nose.

“Hey, that’s cool,” he responded, bumping shoulders with you and trying not to sound too happy about your response. “Me neither. I mean, like I said, I’ve got loads of friends. Just not the whole girlfriend boyfriend thing.”

“Look at us,” you mused. “One in the same.”

“Yup, one in the same.” Daisuke glanced back at you hopefully, then looked away. He downed the rest of his dried fruit and crumpled up the package, tossing it in the direction of a nearby trashcan and missing by a couple feet. He winced, feeling a tinge of embarrassment as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“You gonna go get that?” you asked jokingly, pushed yourself from the countertop, and landed on your feet, securely tucking your Walkman back into your pocket as the music stopped.

“Yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes and walked toward the trash before picking it up and disposing of it properly. “It’s on the way out anyway. In fact, I meant to do that.”

You trailed after him, following close behind as the two of you approached the exit to the lounge. “Totally,” you teased, smiling up at him.

Yet again, the door slid open with that deafening screech as Daisuke and you left the lounge. Together, you walked back to the sleeping quarters. At the door, Daisuke turned to you and stopped. His brown eyes trailed over your features once more in the darkness, illuminated only by the light of the flashlight in his hands. Even in the blackness of the hallway, his smile was bright. His gap-toothed grin seemed almost bright enough to flood the entire hallway with light.

“Thanks for coming with me,” he spoke quietly.

“Thank you for inviting me,” you responded.

Daisuke opened his mouth as if to speak, but the words he wanted to say seemed caught in his throat. Instead, he just nodded and displayed that same smile. Your brows furrowed questioningly, an expression that made his heart skip a bit. Before you could say anything, he opened the door to the sleeping quarters and ushered you inside.

“Goodnight, [Name]. See ya in the morning.” He bit his lip, walking backward toward his room and nearly stumbling when he reached the door.

“Sweet dreams, Daisuke.” 

With that, you slipped into your room with a strange feeling in your chest. A tightness you hadn’t felt since high school, since hallway crushes and etching names into wooden picnic tables. An ache at the loss of his presence. How strange.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

pookies (taglist): @xcryptk33p3rx @freakyydaisukee @sanctuaryofsmartiess @st4rrysblog @academiq @c4t-n1pp @iiveraii

[elodieunderglass]

Hello and hi there. In relation to Jockeys working every day of the week, I find myself unable to figure out how they have any kind of life around that. When do they go to the dentist? How do they shop for groceries? For the love of all that’s holy when do they take comfy mid-afternoon naps when the sun warms your skin and the kitties snore gently on your chest??

I’m beginning to suspect Jockeys may be a sort of mimic species that only kind of approximates a human person but misses the mark on a few key characteristics. If they spend all morning riding horses, hours after that exercising, and hours driving to and from races - I honestly don’t know how they have time or energy for anything.

“When you factor in early-morning work, extensive mileage, financial uncertainty and the significant physical and mental challenges of being a jockey, it’s arguably the most challenging of professional sports for an athlete.” - Dale Gibson, executive director of the PJA

Dashboard-saving cut with a long story explaining that they are more-or-less-willingly consumingly bonkers, but would like a bit 🤏 more time off than they feel they can take.

🏇

Ah, the majority of jockeys in the UK cleverly solve those problems by not keeping their own teeth or eating! and certainly not having a life are freelancers! They can decline any of an agent’s requests to work, and if they do exercising and training work for a trainer in the mornings, they can arrange to have days where they don’t. As freelancers, they have no paid holiday, but it’s technically up to them (Studies show that jockeys choose to maximise their work until forcibly stopped, BUT technically they have the choice).

It’s a little unclear to me how retained/contracted stable jockeys make their arrangements as the UK equine industry seems to be bundled with agricultural/farm work and farm contractors have different rules, but they’re pretty rare, and they also blur the line between work and life a huge amount. Generational jockeys often do it as part of a family business, living in proximity with the rest of their family in the industry, blurring the line between work/life further.

They all seem to report stress and anxiety that they also feel at home. lots of jockeys who aren’t contracted, generational or married-with-kids live in houses full of their rivals (1). Jockeys with kids report the difficulty of seeing them “without a horse involved” (1) and female staff with caring responsibilities report that most jobs in horse racing are completely incompatible with any sort of work-life balance (5).

Jockeys do find it extremely hard to turn down work when it’s offered, though, as described in this study (1) - not only for the pure financial reasons of needing income, maintaining momentum, and not losing your mounts, although those are the first considerations …

… but also to advertise themselves as being particularly “fashionable” purchases - lucky, tough, and always ready to earn you lots of money:

“Like a toy” is really saying the quiet part out loud.

but there’s a positive side to this! In 2020, lockdown travel restrictions meant jockeys were limited to attending one race meeting per day within the UK. The meetings are still far apart, and there’s between 6-8 races per meeting, so it’s still hard work, but jockeys couldn’t then go on to do another meeting on the other side of the country within that day.

About 70% of jockeys were happy with this external rule being imposed, because it helped them resist external/agent/employer pressure to hit multiple racetracks a day - now it’s out of their hands. The rule is under review, and a rolling extension means it’s actually still under effect! Realistically, they’re still travelling relentlessly, but now they can resist pressure for adding night races and evening meetings when they’ve already worked somewhere else that day, a pressure that jockeys reported as “frying their heads” (1).

And the answer to what they did with this slightly freed time is: have fewer car accidents and eat dinner. (3)

They still drive too much, but the answer to “what do jockeys do if you don’t make them work night shifts on top of day shifts?” is “well! they eat dinner”.

They would like a humble bit of time off for fun, though! Although a jockey saying he didn’t feel they “needed to be working” on Sunday nights was considered so brave and unusual that he got newspaper coverage (4):

“We might get a couple of hundred quid extra in our pockets or whatever, but I don’t think (night racing on Sunday) is healthy. I won’t be able to go and watch the football with my dad, things like that, and if this becomes a regular thing, which it will, you just cross the brink [to] having absolutely no work/life balance.

“I don’t think it’s right, but my desire to ride winners, and my desire to ride for David [Simcock, Charlie’s Choice’s trainer] outweighs that and it has to as a rider, with the dedication it requires. It’s not an option not to come, so I’ll always be available to them, but I don’t think we should be here at 8.30pm on a Sunday night.”

In conclusion, they’d like Sunday nights off, and they like it when licensing bodies take things out of their hands. They need a union are bonkers, but don’t need to be THIS bonkers.

This is why sports medicine researchers study jockeys like laboratory mice, though.

🐁 👩‍🔬

Fascinating

References

(Nobody needs to read these, it’s just so I don’t feel like I’m making stuff up)

1. “A lifestyle rather than a job: a review and recommendations on mental health support within the British horse racing industry” (2019)

2. Stressors experienced by professional jockeys (2021)

3. talking Horses: Jockeys seeing benefits of one race meeting per day (2020)

4.) Talking Horses: Sunday night races may result in serious jockey burnout (2024)

5) WORK-LIFE BALANCE & CARING IN HORSERACING: Women in Racing summary of pilot survey (2023)

[joelslegalwhre]

Valetine's Day | Dad!Dieter Bravo x reader

word count // 1.2k

pairing // Dad!Dieter Bravo x fem!reader

summary // Dieter and your kids surprise you for Valentines day but you also have one for Dieter he didn't expect.

warnings // dad!dieter is his own warning (and au😌), a ton of fluff, reader is a mom, Santiago (Santi) is a toddler and Camila (Cami) is only about 10-18 months old, talks of breeding kink?, mention of drugs (Dieter is clean around his kids(!!), but we want him to have some fun here and then👀), reader calls dieter "daddy" (just once), this isn't proofread yet!, if I missed anything please tell me!

a/n // This has absolutely thrown my plan of introducing Dad!Dieter off track lol. Timing-wise, it's sometime after Dieter and reader already have kids and are married, but a little Valentine's Day special was too cute not to do.

So, have fun with the first little teaser to dad!dieter (he's got me in a chockehold, thanks @seratuyo & @alwaysmicado for hyping me up even more lmao) And thanks to @morallyinept for the "he said what" posts, they help me sm!

Masterlist

“Okay, everyone be really quiet when we open the door, okay?” “Yes, Daddy." Santi giggles and squeezes the bouquet, which seemed huge compared to his small frame, causing the paper to rustle. “C’mon, Cami.” He stretches out his short arm to take her by the hand, having difficulty balancing the bouquet in his hand. 

"Here buddy, I'll take your sister and you give mummy her bouquet," Dieter says, gently taking your daughter in his arms. She’d only make a few steps anyway and would have to crawl the rest of the way. But ever since she started taking her first steps a few weeks ago, Santiago’s been thrilled and didn't want to go anywhere without his little sister. "Alright, ready?" Dieter asks again and both kids nod excitedly, giving him the reaction he wanted. Dieter grins at the two and then nods in the direction of the door behind which your bedroom was. And where you were still completely knocked out. 

All thanks to Dieter. He insisted on giving you an 'early Valentine's Day present' last night. 

"It's not too early, baby." he grinned with a smug smile. "It's technically the 14th already, and you know damn right what else is ready for you," he emphasized his words with a wiggle of his eyebrows, "all the time." 

You chuckled at his attempt to seduce you and slid further up the bed until your back rested against the headboard. "Okay, show me your present then, Mr Bravo." you grinned. 

"Your wish is my command, Mrs Bravo." 

And as he removed his pants and slowly moved closer until he bent his body over yours, caging you in between him and the mattress, you knew it was going to be a long night. 

"Alright, you go first little man."

Santiago nods again excitedly before stretching to open the door. Dieter tousles Camila's hair, making her smile instantly, and she looks up at her Dad with big brown eyes. "Let's go and surprise mommy, baby girl," he says and kisses her on the forehead before following your son. Dieter holds the door open so Santi can concentrate on delivering your flowers safely, all while watching his kid with a warm smile.

The noise of the door and Santis little feet tapping on the floor wakes you up. The first thing you see when you open your - still tired - eyes, is a broadly grinning Santiago. Dieter must’ve opened the curtains when he got up, so the room was bathed in a warm light.

“Happy Valentine's day, mommy!” 

“Oh hi, good morning. Happy Valentine’s, baby.” you smile and straighten up in bed to sit cross-legged. Glad you put on one of Dieter's many oversized shirts yesterday. 

“We got you flowers.” he tells you excitedly, holding out the flowers for you to see. 

“Oh my god, they're almost as big as you are." you say with a chuckle, "They’re so beautiful, bubba.”

You smell them, closing your eyes as the soft, floral scent fills your nose. When you open them again, you see the piece of paper between the flowers, a tonne of pink and red glitter to decorate the heart-shaped card. 

“Did you make this yourself?” you smile at Santiago, running your fingers through his brown curls. “I did! I used glitter, because you like it!” 

“Yes, I do.” you chuckle. “Thank you.” you smile at him again, and he looks beyond proud. 

“Happy Valentine’s day,” Dieter grins from behind Santiago, “Again.” 

You giggle as he leans down, Cami still on his arm, and gives you a kiss. 

“Ha, ha.” you say in feigned indignation, smacking him on the chest. But the smile that wins over your face, tells Dieter everything he needs to know. 

He's still leaning over you as you reach out to take Cami from Dieter's arms and bring her next to you. "Hey, my little girl." She immediately smiles and you chuckle. 

“Thank you so so much.” you say again, pulling Santiago into a hug and into your lap, as Dieter takes a seat behind you on the bed. The four of you together on the bed, the gigantic bouquet of flowers next to you - because that’s what Dieter does, and he’d die before he’d ever not get you the biggest one he could get - you felt so completely content, safe, and happy. 

“Come here,” Dieter quietly says, one hand on your waist, pulling you - and Santi - to his chest, Cami crawling on the bed next to him. You let your head rest on his shoulder, but turn a little to give him a kiss on his jaw, and another one to the small bald patch in his, slowly but surely, salt and pepper turning beard. Dieter glances down at you and gives you a smile that brings your whole world to a halt. 

Every time he looks at you with that special smile, it's like you're back in time, back in the kitchen, dancing and having batter spilt all over you. A smile that's reserved just for you.

“I love you, baby.” he whispers against your lips, his breath playing with yours.

“I love you.” you smile up at him. 

“I can’t wait to have you all big and round again. You’re the perfect mom, would be a such waste not to have another one.” he continues. “Third time’s a charm, huh?” you play along with Dieter's little game of teasing. “Any other reason you’d like to knock me up, again?” 

Dieter looks at you with a smug smile, his hand finding its way to your belly. 

“Shh now, our kids are present,” he moves closer to your ear and his lips almost touch your earlobe. Dieter knows exactly how to tease you. 

"Your tits are also incredible when you're pregnant." he grins. 

"I literally just had Cami, they're still huge." you laugh softly and shake your head.

"It’s not about the size, baby. I always love them, no exception. But when you're pregnant they're so deliciously sensitive." 

You can practically feel his cheeky grin. “Oh, you’re one of a kind, D.”

Santi is still snuggled up in your arms, half asleep again, while Cami is bubbling away next to you and Dieter, playing with the end of the blanket.

His one arm around your waist, you push up the sleeve of his dark, fuzzy teddy coat on his other arm to reveal his tattoos. Slowly, you trace both of his triad tattoos, a habit Dieter particularly loves. 

“I got you something, too.” you say after a while of comfortable silence.

"Oh yeah?" 

He places a gentle kiss on the top of your head. "Yeah." you reply, a knowing smile spreading on your lips. 

"It's in the drawer," you whisper, tipping your head towards the bedside table. "Open it."

Moving slowly so as not to disturb you and Santi, Dieter leans towards the drawer and opens it. The slight rustling of the small bag filled with "white goodness", as he likes to call it, tells you that Dieter has found his present. 

"Ohh baby, you just made the whole ‘baby making’ thing even better." 

You grin and feel Dieter pull you closer to him, touching your waist in the process, causing you to giggle. 

"Happy Valentine's day, daddy," you whisper in his ear. 

main masterlist | ao3

💗Happy Valentine's day besties💗

[doormatty3]

Till Next Time, Love (Matty Healy x FOC)

Masterlist AO3

Summary:

[Matty Healy x Original Female Character] Kate can't stand Matty when she first meets him, that much she's sure of. He always finds a way to grind her gears with his stupid arrogance and cockiness. And yet she finds him ridiculously attractive with his soft curls and sweet smile. She'd love to just flee from the situation and forget every interaction, if she only wasn't working late at the venue they were playing at. OR: Matty puts the cock in cockiness and does what he does best.

Wordcount: 8,167

Warnings: 18+, mildly dubious consent, fingering, oral sex, unprotected sex, masturbation, semi-public sex, breeding, facefucking, overstimulation

Summer had to be the busiest season for concert venues, Kate thought as she rolled a heavy black container box through one of the long, dimly lit backstage corridors. Some indie band from around town had played a gig the night before and rented some of the venue's inventory that she had to move back to its proper place now. Singers and bands were coming and going this time of year and since she was only working at the venue for a few short months she had the pleasure of cleaning up before the next act arrived. 

The faces that played the stage had already started to blur into one another and by this time Kate had difficulties distinguishing them. If she were to be asked she would not be able to name them. Most of the time she didn't even stay for their show if she didn't have to. Often, the soundcheck was already providing her with enough music and she longed to get back into her quiet apartment, away from the incessant noise of the venue. 

Sometimes she knew an act that graced the hall, such as the next one that was to play there: The 1975 with their notoriously difficult singer Matty Healy. She liked their music but did not follow their antics that much, only reading up on it when it was more or less newsworthy. Mostly Matty was on the news with some weird stunt he pulled and a more or less sincere apology.

When she arrived at her destination, Kate snapped out of her thoughts and put the box in its place.

“Fucking summer!”, she mumbled while running a hand through her black hair, an unsuccessful attempt to tame the few strands that came loose of the ponytail she kept her hair in.

The temperatures were already high, even though it was only mid-morning. And the standard crew outfit consisting of a black t-shirt and black slacks did not help with temperature regulation. Her breather was interrupted by the telltale sound of a heavy vehicle driving onto the premises; the new stars of the day had arrived.  She made her way toward the exit door and was already greeted by her boss, a large, friendly man in his late 50s. The high summer temperatures were taking a toll on him, she noticed. Beads of sweat were collecting on his forehead and he used a handkerchief to wipe them away from time to time.

“You coming? They want to see the venue and we will start unloading the truck”, he ushered the woman outside with a fitting wave of his hand, “We start with the technical stuff in the big truck, so their sound and audio engineers can set up - then everything else.” 

Kate gave a short nod in response, sometimes she still felt like he treated her like a newbie even though she had experience and the schedule they were following was mostly the same.  As she let her eyes wander to the trucks the wave of heat hit her. She made out two nightliners, nothing special - especially given the number of touring members. The band stood in front of the smaller bus, smoking and laughing. 

She noticed Matty Healy first though she vehemently denied that in her head, telling herself that he would stand out to anybody and it was nothing special. Kate had already known that he was attractive and had always thought so when seeing a picture or a video of him but he truly was a sight to behold: Messy brown curls, a lit cigarette between his long fingers, a black tank top that accentuated his arms, the slight curve of his biceps evident, and black sunglasses that hid his eyes.  They were talking adamantly and she saw Matty throw his head back laughing at something that was said by one of his bandmates, his curls bouncing as he did so. 

Kate had difficulties tearing her eyes away from the man. 

“Fuck, stop staring and get back to work”, she told herself quietly, while shaking her head to clear those thoughts away. It certainly did not help that he was exactly her type: tall, messy hair and a voice to die for. 

When she made her way to the bigger of the two touring buses, she didn’t notice Matty’s eyes following her, nor that he made his way over to her until he was right behind her and leaned against the truck actively blocking her way to the front. 

“You know, it is not polite to stare, love.”

She turned around and was met with a boyish grin on Matty's face when she lifted her eyebrow and opened her mouth to answer him, he interrupted her, his English accent heavy while he spoke: “Normally I would have invited you to have a smoke with me, but seeing that you’re already smokin’ …” 

Flabbergasted Kate really looked up at him, she was not much shorter than he was, only about one head smaller but he stood so close that she had to actively look up a bit to see his complete face. 

The sunglasses he wore on his face before were now hanging folded on the front of his tank top, a tattoo peaking over the rim of it. In the sunlight, his brown eyes shone a bit greenish and their color was light, she noticed. They reminded her of some expensive liquor. His hands were buried in his pockets and she couldn't help but notice the tattoos on his arm and his defined muscles.

"I should slap you for that”, she retorted dryly, after regaining her composure. 

And with a snort, she pushed him away by placing a hand on his chest, and as she walked past him, off to the front of the truck, a whiff of his scent engulfed her briefly. He smelled of the smoke of the cigarette he just had and some faint hint of an expensive perfume that he wore, something woody and earthy, with a hint of cinnamon and amber. Kate found it fucking intoxicating. 

“Oh come on, you like it, love!”, Matty said sheepishly to her as she was leaving. 

She found him attractive and didn't want to dwell on how hot he felt when she just touched him or how good he smelled. Because in the end, it did not matter, he could be as hot as they come, his insane ego and cockiness were something that she definitely didn't enjoy. Sighing, Kate grabbed the first of many boxes, this was bound to be an interesting day. She hated arrogant men.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Throughout the day Kate didn't have any more run-ins with Matty - something she was glad for. She did not actively avoid him, work just kept her busy and she was looking forward to the evening. Her shift was supposed to end just before The 1975 went on stage and normally she would have stayed and watched the show since she liked their music and all. But after she met Matty today, she discarded that idea. She did not want to give that arrogant, hot man more attention than necessary. He reminded her way too much of an ex-boyfriend that she would much rather forget.

Kate was on her way to get her things when she was met with a hard chest.

"Careful, love." His large hands were holding her up on her shoulders in an attempt to steady her.

Matty fucking Healy, of course, of all the people in the venue she had to literally run into him. 

"You're not staying for the show? I thought I'd give you something to stare at there", he smirked with his hands still rubbing her shoulders, leaving a burning feeling where he touched her even through the thick material of her shirt.

Briefly, she wondered what his hands would feel like on her bare skin if they were as rough as she made them out to be, calloused from playing the guitar. 

"No, thank you. I'm going home to watch something interesting and not some dude with an overinflated ego", Kate spat angrily, she just wanted him gone and to get herself home. 

Fuck, he looked almost tame now, she noticed. The glasses he wore framed his face nicely, accentuating his eyes and some of his curls fell softly into his face. Her hand itched to tuck them away. The perfume she smelled before was more fragrant now, captivating her.  Maybe she’d masturbate and relieve some stress, she shouldn't be reacting to him like that, she mused.  Matty lifted his hands from her shoulders, she instantly missed the warmth he was providing and cursed herself for it. 

“Well then, your loss”, he said while he took a step back.  The grin returned to his face only seconds after he finished when he pointed behind her. “Looks like your boss may have to say something to you, love. I'll leave you to it”, with that, he turned around and left her standing there.

“Kate! Can I talk to you for a second?”, the man had reached her by now and gestured at her to come to him.

She made her way over to her boss, still confused and somewhat riled up by her last interaction with Matty. 

When they were standing next to each other he said: “Listen, I know it’s the end of your shift but I need to keep you for a few more hours. I’m sorry! Henry’s ill, too much sun or something”. 

Henry was one of the backstage guys, mostly responsible for the artists. Kate never had too much to do with him, she was mostly behind the scenes dragging boxes around and cleaning up.  Goddamit, she had really looked forward to spending the evening on her couch at home, away from work. But it was always a lost battle with her boss, he’d convince her in the end and offer her the next day off. They had had this particular conversation often since she worked there.

“It's alright, but Henry and Is’ job descriptions are quite different…”, Kate eyed him suspiciously, “What would I have to do?” 

He looked relieved when she agreed to help without making a fuss this time, no concern evident on his face that it was a difficult job or that she couldn't do it. 

“Oh, nothing much. You just have to hand the tall one over there his guitars. Everything is numbered so it should be fine”, he pointed at whom she assumed was Ross. A tall man with long hair. 

“He is the bass player”, Kate noted, her amusement evident in her tone. 

“See, you already know more than I do. Perfect. Then it is settled, and take tomorrow off, Kate”. 

And with that, he gave her a thumbs up and left her standing in the hallway.  Now she had to watch them. Okay, what a great way to feed into Matty’s enormous ego. But it was no use, she had agreed to it, so she would do it.  Kate was glad that it was not Matty whom she had to hand the instruments to. She just hoped the evening would be over swiftly. A quick glance at her watch told her that it was almost 5 PM. They were set to play at 8 PM, so she figured she’d be out at around 11 PM. If she didn’t have to stay around for anything else. Her boss owed her for that, Henry also, she thought. 

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She took her place behind the stage by the basses a few minutes before The 1975 were set to start their set and promptly met Matty’s eyes, who was already standing and waiting there just as the rest of the band. 

“Fancy seeing you here... Come to watch us play after all?”, the cocky smirk back on his lips.

Kate sighed, he was already starting to annoy her and part of her was angry that she had just agreed to help out: “No, I'm here to hand Ross his instruments. Also, what are you supposed to be? A professor? A teacher?” 

His stage outfit today gave her professor vibes. The damned glasses that framed his face so nicely, paired with a white shirt that was almost see-through if one stared enough, which she didn’t do of course. And over that, he donned a white lab coat, with a name tag.  

“Maybe”, he grinned, “I bet I could teach you some things, love.” 

“Maybe you could teach yourself some modesty”, Kate retorted. 

She would be lying if she wasn't having fun bantering with him but he still annoyed her to no end. They were interrupted when Matty and the rest of the band had to go on stage, but not without telling her to enjoy the show, love. 

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kate did enjoy the show unsurprisingly, the music was good and the crowd was phenomenal. Her job of handing the instruments to Ross was easily done, so she could concentrate on the band and the music they played. Sometimes it felt like Matty’s eyes were on her, burning into her skin but she chose to ignore that.

At some point, she seemed to have spaced out because she was rudely awoken when she felt a big hand close around hers and was being dragged onto the stage by Matty. Kate stood frozen amidst the band next to him, she noticed the crowd and the screaming that was just too loud. The stage lights that seemed too bright. She wanted to get off that damn stage but she couldn’t move. And she wanted to know why he had the audacity to just drag her onto the stage.

...everything's gone wrong  

His voice carried over into her trancelike state and the snap back into reality was brutal when she felt Matty’s hand on her cheek and his hot breath on her face. Then his other hand was on the back of her head, tangled in her ponytail, forcing her to look up into his face by pulling it softly, keeping the tension to hold her head up. 

Kate couldn’t do anything else except stare into his brown eyes and her hands automatically found their way into his hair and on his back and the screaming of the crowd faded once again into the background. After a few seconds, his lip curved into a smirk and he pulled her hard against his body, his hold of her tightening. 

Then Matty covered her mouth with his own, his lips moving against her sensually, before slipping his tongue into Kate’s mouth. Instinctively, she returned the kiss. He tasted of tobacco and something that was inherently him.  She forgot everything around her, the crowd, the light, that she was supposed to be working. Only Matty dominated her senses. His smell and his taste overpowered her.

He broke the kiss and released her, his hand sliding across her lower back as he moved his head away from hers.

“I’m looking forward to seeing you at the aftershow party, love”, he mumbled quietly, his breath hot against her ear. 

At that moment Kate felt like ice water was poured over her head and she remembered that she was supposed to be angry, furious even at the fact that he just dragged her onto the stage to kiss her in front of everyone and dared to tell her to come to the fucking aftershow party. The band continued playing the song while Matty was still holding her as she was still regaining her composure.

The crowd was absolutely wild at that point. But she was having none of that, Kate roughly stepped away from him and marched back behind the stage, ignoring his eyes that followed her, burning into the back of her skull.

Matty Healy be damned, she thought, she would not be going to this party. She would finish up and head home.  It didn't matter that he had nearly kissed her senseless on the stage. It didn't matter that he was so unbelievably attractive that it hurt at that moment. What did matter was that he was an arrogant arse and she would not give him the satisfaction of giving into him.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Of course, Kate was stuck doing inventory after the show when she just wanted to get home and call it a day. She wanted to get away from work and away from Matty Healy. 

Kate was leaning over a black container with a pen in hand, scribbling away on the sheet of paper before her. The buzz of excitement that inhabited the venue during the concert had long died down and only a handful of people were still there. Most of them were technicians or crew members who were busy packing everything. 

She would have noticed him, hadn’t she been so focused. But she didn’t and so she only became painfully aware of him when he cornered her. 

Matty trapped her between his hot body and the black box, he supported his weight on his arms that were placed on either side of her, right next to her hands. His chest was not touching her back but she could feel the warmth he radiated. 

Matty slowly lowered his head, his curls brushing against her neck as he brought his lips down to whisper into her ear: “I have missed you at the party, love”. 

For a moment, Kate was completely speechless, her body and brain refusing to function. The close proximity of the man who made her blood boil was too much.  She was aware of everything, his hot breath that tickled her ear, his soft curls that danced over her neck and side of her face, the hard and warm chest that was almost flush with her back, his large hands that almost touched hers and his smell that seemed to completely surround her, like a cocoon. 

Taking a deep breath she turned around to face him, careful to not touch him further she sat up so she was face to face with him. 

Looking at him wilfully she crossed her arms over her chest: “What do you want, Matty?”

His soft brown eyes darkened at the mention of his name and his gaze fell onto her lips. He didn’t answer her question but rather looked at her and tucked one piece of stray hair behind her ear with his right hand, something that Kate had been itching to do with his hair the whole night. 

“Oh, fuck off, Healy”, Kate said loudly pushing him forcefully at the chest. She was so fed up with his behavior and who was he to just corner her like that? 

What she did not expect was his reaction. 

He grabbed her hard by her hip with one hand, digging his fingers into her flesh, enough to leave bruises, and forced her to sit down on the box again.  Matty moved even closer to her, forcing her thighs open so he could stand between them. His other hand snaked around her body and once again he tangled his finger in her ponytail, tugging it slightly to lift her head to look at him.  He was breathing heavily as he looked down on her, licking his lips. As Kate’s gaze flickered to his wet lips he smirked at her.

 “The only thing I’ll be fucking is you, love”. 

With that, he captured her lips, silencing every word she was trying to say.  Matty’s hand was still in her hair, angling her head so he had full access to her mouth. Kate gasped when he tugged her ponytail roughly this time, enabling him to slip his tongue between her lips.  Any logical thinking that had been going on in her brain was completely void of existence, her mind hazy.  She grabbed his shirt in a desperate attempt to hold onto something, which made him produce a deep growling sound that reverberated through her body and caused her to return the kiss with the same fervor he was kissing her. 

Every bit of resistance had completely dissolved at that point. Kate didn't care anymore that he was arrogant and that he annoyed her to no end. She only cared about his lips on hers and how hot his hands on her body felt. Upon her reaction, Matty’s upper lip curled up in a smirk and his other hand wandered to her back, to pull her even closer into his embrace until her chest was flush with his. 

Matty pushed his already hard cock against her clothed pussy. She whimpered and arched into his body when he deepened the kiss again, his tongue pressing against hers. 

He broke the kiss, pulling her head back by her ponytail once more to allow his lips to trail kisses along her jaw.  Nipping hard enough to make her hiss softly. He stopped upon reaching her ear, his heavy breath hot against her ear shell. 

“Turn around, love, or I'll make you…” His voice was low and husky, laced by want and need and his pupils were blown wide, the soft brown almost completely swallowed by it. 

The growled words sank slowly into Kate’s consciousness and it took her time to fully comprehend their meaning. As the seconds passed he pulled away a bit. Only enough to grab her by the hips and turn her around roughly. In one fluid motion, he took her arms and placed them palm down on the black box. Kate’s hands were covered with his own, holding her down and his chest was touching her back; she was completely cased in. 

He lowered his head to leave kisses on her neck and let go of her hands to place one of his around her throat. When he applied a bit of pressure to angle her body more upwards she immediately complied, allowing him to manipulate her body to his liking. 

As soon as she stood more upright he placed his thumb in the curve of her jaw to turn her head sideways while still applying light pressure to her throat. Matty felt her quick pulse under his fingers. 

His other hand was sprawled on her stomach, making sure she was pressed against him.  Kate felt the hardness of his cock on the arch of her back and pushed back at it. She closed her eyes for a brief moment to absorb the feeling. Her pussy was already wet and the fabric of her panties was clinging uncomfortably to it. Normally it took more to reduce her to that state but for some reason he just made her discard her principles. 

Matty was back to kissing her in earnest. It was messy and his lips were dominating hers while the hand on her throat kept her firmly in place.  Meanwhile, his other hand roamed under her shirt, finding her breasts, and giving them a firm squeeze. 

“You have bloody perfect tits, love”, he said in-between kisses. 

Kate groaned at his words, she felt unbelievably hot and wished that he would just take her top off. She tried to move her head toward his, in an attempt to make him continue kissing her. Matty chuckled when he noticed how needy she had become and connected their lips again.  His hand left her breast for a short moment, tugging at the top of the bra cups and pulling them down until her tits were free. 

Kate’s senses were overwhelmed, she felt like Matty was everywhere and everything. His smell, his taste, and his touch were occupying everything. 

She let out a breathy moan when he pinched her left nipple between his pointer finger and thumb and rolled it.  Kate tried to make more contact with him, so she moved her ass even closer to him, his hardness lodged firmly against her. Fuck she just wanted to feel him.

Matty left her breast alone and moved his hand downwards, touching as much skin as possible. His fingers carved a burning path wherever he touched her, a scorching sensation that was almost too much.  She almost let out a sigh of relief when he finally slipped his hand under the waistband of her pants. He cupped her pussy through her underwear not yet giving her the satisfaction of touching her bare cunt. Kate knew she was already drenched, her panties had to be absolutely soaked from the teasing that went on the whole day. 

When he didn’t move his hand or gave any sign of doing anything soon she snapped: “Fuck, Matty, please ”. 

She sounded almost whiny and had she not been this turned on her behaviour would have embarrassed her. But she really wanted him to do something now.  Matty’s first reaction was to chuckle quietly and tighten the hold on her throat. His second reaction however made the begging worth it, since he let his middle finger run over her clothed cunt with minimal pressure. 

“You’re soaked, love”.

He repeated the motion with more pressure, and when he scraped her clit slightly she arched into his hand. Pleased with Kate’s response, he slipped his hand under her panties and stroked her again but without any barrier between his fingers and her pussy. His touch was leaving her burning his desire and she moaned when he did it again, clenching down on nothing. 

“Please…”

She bucked her hips, wanting him to fuck her with his fingers. Kate felt the callouses from playing the guitar clearly every time his finger pads stroked over her clit so slightly. When he pressed the flats of three fingers against her clit she let out a surprised mewl. 

“I like it when you beg”, with that he dipped a finger into her, making her gasp. 

But her relief was short-lived when he slid it back up and circled her clit. Kate ground her ass against him with a soft moan, feeling his hard cock twitch. She couldn’t believe that Matty Healy reduced her to that state and that she was begging and withering for him. That insanely attractive, cocky man that knew what he was doing. 

All coherent sentences were wiped from her mind when he pushed one finger up to his knuckle into her and then added another. Kate’s head fell back against his shoulder as he curled them inside her and rubbed his thumb over her clit.  Matty was clearly set out to make her cum and it didn’t take much anymore, she was too riled up. Soon he had her moaning quietly and twisting her hips into his hand, all her nerve endings felt awakened and were flooding her with warmth.  

“You’re absolutely gorgeous when you cum, love”, faintly she registered his words as she came down from her high. 

And vaguely she heard the wet and sloppy sounds of her cunt as he continued to pump into her. 

“I’m looking forward to hearing that again”, he removed his fingers from her pussy and she couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped her lips.  “Don’t worry, love, I will fill you up again”, the words were hot against her ear as he ground his clothed erection against her ass to underline his words. 

Kate would have been disappointed in the lack of contact as he stepped back a bit, had she not heard his belt buckle snap, as he undid it as well as the sound of him dragging down the zipper of his fly. Seconds later she heard the rustling of his pants and underwear being pushed down. His hands found her hips again, opening her pants and yanking them down with her underwear so her ass and cunt were exposed.  Matty made a sound of appreciation deep in his throat as he took in the sight of her being bent over the black container. 

He kneaded her ass experimentally, using his big hands to feel the soft skin of her. When he slapped her lightly, wanting to test the waters first, she let out a slight gasp of surprise but didn’t give any indication that she found it unpleasant. So he spanked her again, much harder this time, making Kate cry out at the initial shock and delicious pain.

He instantly stopped his ministrations and grabbed her by her hair, yanking Kate’s head back.

 “Quiet”, Matty hissed, as her scalp tingled lightly from his rough treatment, “Don’t want anyone to hear us, right?” 

Shit, she almost forgot where they were: Backstage at the venue she worked. Surrounded by boxes and people she was working with mingling somewhere around there.  But the stream of thoughts was abruptly put to a halt when she felt the thick head of his erection at her cunt, causing her to moan involuntarily again. 

“Love, since you can’t stay quiet we have to find another way to shut you up”. 

Kate didn’t register that he took off his tie until he was stuffing it in her mouth.

“See, that’s better”, he lined himself up again. 

One forearm pressed on her lower back to steady her and the other hand wrapped around his cock, he pushed in, filling her with one long stroke.  Kate could feel her cunt fluttering and clenching around his cock, getting used to his size. She felt herself already being close to another orgasm again just by having his cock buried deep inside her. 

Slowly, he pulled his dick almost all the way out, only the tip remained inside her as Kate clenched down on next to nothing. Whimpering she pushed her ass back desperately trying to get more friction.  She heard Matty chuckle as he moved his hand to her hip. His grip was hard and unrelenting, she was surely going to have bruises from his hold. His other hand found its way back around her throat, angling her upwards once again, while he thrust shallowly, always careful to push less than half of his cock inside her cunt.  Matty found a tender spot by her earlobe and swirled his tongue over it before sinking his teeth in ever so slightly, effectively marking her.

“Do you like this, love?” His hot breath grazed her ear, “Do you like being marked up, so everybody knows what I have done to you?” 

He returned his mouth to her throat, painting the soft skin with reddish-purple bruises. With one final lick, he removed his mouth from her and let go of her throat, and rather moved his hand over her back to grab her hip. Kate fell forward onto her hands due to the lack of him holding her up.

Matty pushed back into her, testing out how deep and fast he could go.  Kate moaned around the tie, only a muffled sound audible when Matty gave her one particularly rough thrust. He was relatively quiet, only his labored breaths were perceptible as well as the wet squelching noise of her pussy whenever he pushed his cock in. 

When he removed his hand to stroke over her back softly and finally found her breast, he pinched her nipple between his fingers, making her clench around him. The feeling of being filled by his dick and his attention to her breasts had riled her up. Chills kept racing down her spine as she felt herself being close to cumming again.

“Fuck, you’re gonna cum?”

 Matty gave her one rough stroke and flicked her nipple again. 

His acknowledgment of her current state somehow brought her even closer and when he moved his hand from her tit down to her pussy and pushed his calloused, long fingers against her clit she came without a warning. 

“Dirty girl”, his voice was rough and husky, “Don’t think we are done yet.” 

Matty continued to thrust his cock into her cunt throughout her orgasm. “Gonna make you cum again, love”

How was she supposed to orgasm again? Her pussy throbbed around him and her legs felt like they would not be able to carry her anytime soon but he was so determined.  Kate whined around the tie, she was overstimulated from her previous orgasms.  As something wet hit her asshole she froze shorty but moaned as Matty rubbed his spit around the tight ring of muscle and pushed his thumb inside her. 

“You slut, I knew you’d like that.”  

He continued to fuck her cunt with his cock and her ass with his thumb. And against her will the constant stimulation took Kate to the brink of an orgasm again. An incoherent stream of words consisting of please and oh god and Matty left her mouth as he removed his hand from her ass and began toying with her clit. As Matty rubbed her clit roughly she fell apart around him with a muffled scream. 

“Imma fill you up, love. You’re gonna drip off me”.

The words registered slowly and dully in her brain, her every thought clouded by the high she was still on.  Matty came with a grunt and Kate felt his cock throbbing inside of her pussy, filling her with his cum. He gave her a few more shallow thrusts, making sure to fuck it deeper inside her sensitive cunt. 

When he withdrew she felt his eyes on her fluttering pussy: “It almost looks like you want more, love. You’re cunt’s trying to keep me in”. 

With that he used two fingers to pump into her opened pussy again a few times. She whimpered when he pulled them out, her mind completely dazed from the orgasms and his presence. 

Suddenly, Matty withdrew completely, making her whine at the loss of contact but the void of him was short-lived when he picked her up from the box and manipulated her to be on her knees in front of him. 

For the first time since this started, Kate was able to look at him and take in his form: He was still wearing his lab coat and dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a few buttons undone. His trousers were pushed to rest at the mid of his thigh and his boxers were sitting a few inches over that.  The combination of shirt and shorts framed his cock in an obscene way. It was shining as if glazed with both their releases and still half-hard. His dick was slightly curved upwards, with a thick head and a thick shaft that ended in dark hair.  His dark curls, threaded through with salt and pepper, were an unruly mess on his head. A few locks were stuck to his glistening forehead. The warm brown eyes of Matty were almost black, swallowed by his blown wide pupils.  She vaguely remembered that he wore glasses before but he seemed to have discarded them at some point. His mouth was hanging slightly open and when their eyes met he wet his lips before speaking.

“God, you’re gorgeous like this, love.” 

Kate could only imagine what she had to look like from his perspective but she was pretty sure that she would not use gorgeous to describe her state. Her hair had to be a complete mess, the slicked-back ponytail had long been disheveled by Matty throughout their fucking by grabbing her hair again and again. She still had the tie in her mouth and it was probably soaked by her spit. She felt the tickling of his cum flowing out her cunt as well as the stickiness of her thighs. 

Her inner thoughts were interrupted by Matty who had bowed down a bit. He was still towering above her but he could reach her head move easily now. With almost a soft gesture he followed the line of her chin with his hand and tilted her head upwards a bit to remove the wet tie from her mouth.  It was a stark contrast to the way he had fucked her just moments before. 

“Go on, make me hard again”, his voice was dark, the lust almost palpable, “ we’re not done yet, love.”

Matty stroked over her messed-up hair lightly before he moved forward, a hand on his dick. He traced the outline of her lips with it before he nudged the head of his cock against her mouth in a signal for her to open up her mouth and suck him.  Kate complied and opened her mouth, letting him guide his cock inside her. A groan escaped his lips as he felt the wet heat of her mouth engulf him and it made him wrap his hand further in her hair. His cock was heavy on her tongue, it tasted salty of his cum and her pussy. Matty tightened his hold on her hair and jammed his cock further down her throat, making her choke at the intrusion.  She looked up at him, eyes shining wet. He shoved it deeper, not allowing her a chance to breathe as she gurgled and gasped on it, hearing him groan appreciatively above her. 

The sound of something falling over in the distance with a loud thud broke them out of their focus like trance. 

Matty’s head snapped up, as if he was searching, what the source of the noise was and he pulled her off his cock. Thick strings of spit were connecting her lips to the head of him as she came off coughing quietly. 

With a nod of his head into a nearby enclave between boxes Matty tugged lightly on her hair, making Kate stand up as he led them over.  Matty’s hand found its way into her hair again as he dipped his face downwards and kissed her, backing her into the wall. His other hand trailed to the hem of her shirt, causing her to whimper into his mouth. He tugged the shirt upwards and broke the kiss. 

“Up, love”, he demanded, motioning to her arms.  

As he saw her without the shirt he made an appreciative noise and peppered light kisses against her neck and collarbones. With a thud, her head fell against the wall and a quiet groan escaped her. 

Fuck, he was good at that. 

As she felt cold air hit her breasts she noticed that he had taken off her bra. Matty left a trail of kisses on her exposed chest, sucking and nipping on her tender skin. As he took a nipple in his mouth Kate let out a loud groan, making him stop. 

Rather quickly he placed a hand over her mouth: “Gotta keep you quiet…Come on, finish what you’ve started, at least your mouth will be occupied then.”

Matty removed his hand from her mouth and replaced it with his lips, kissing her again. He bit down slightly on her lip, the sharpness of his teeth made Kate groan into his mouth. With an apologetic lick over the sore spot, he untagled himself from her, guiding her down to his dick again.  Kate kept her gaze on Matty while descending, constantly meeting his eyes. 

As soon as she kneeled, she opened her mouth, expecting him to start fucking her face. Instead, he let spit pool in his mouth, letting it drip from his lips onto her tongue. She swallowed it without hesitation, letting her mouth fall open again as soon as she was done, making his cock twitch.  Matty let out a quiet groan and tangled his hand in her ponytail again. Her eyes were on his when he slid the head of his cock between her lips. He gave her a brief moment to adjust before he pushed it in further.  Kate’s eyes went wide as he hit the back of her throat. She tried to pull back because he was too deep . However, the relief was short-lived when the back of her head met the wall, eliciting a low chuckle from Matty. He fucking planned his, she realized as he had the audacity to wink at her, while his lips formed a cheeky grin. 

“That’s it, love, nice and deep”, Matty said as he pushed deeper, past the resistance of her throat until her nose was pressed against his belly. 

She felt her heart thundering in her ears and her throat spasm around his dick as she could not do anything except sit there.  He pulled back completely, only the tip of his hard cock sat on her tongue to give her time to breathe.  Just one gasp of cool air later he began to fuck her face in earnest. His rough way of manhandling her was turning her on beyond belief and she accepted the intrusion of her throat without protest.  Kate liked that he made her take it. More spit gathered on his cock and her lips on his every move.  Matty gave her a few hard strokes, making her gag around him every time he reached the back of her throat and then withdrawing enough for her to breathe better around him.  After a particularly hard thrust, she coughed around him and felt a thick drop of spit land on her chest and roll down her cleavage. Above her, Matty moaned quietly upon the sight of her. As his thrusts got more sloppy and his breathing ragged he pulled his cock from her mouth completely. 

She took a few deep breaths and licked her sore lips. When she reached for his cock, he pulled her from her knees almost immediately, by guiding her up by his hand in her hair. 

Licking his lips, he just took her in with a mesmerized look in his dark eyes. She knew that she looked like a mess - even more so than before:  Her eyes were watery, her lips felt raw and she had drooled onto her breasts when he had fucked her face. If anyone saw her now they’d immediately know what she had been up to.

With a weak “Fuck, love…”, he dropped his head to kiss her, cradling her cheek, “You did so well ”. 

She mewled at his praise and she moaned quietly into the kiss.

“You got off on sucking my dick, didn’t you?”, Matty asked her darkly while tucking her head back by her hair and forcing her to look at him. 

He didn’t give her a chance to answer him but rather kissed her roughly again, making her teeth meet with a quiet clink as he took her mouth. She returned it with the same fevority.  Matty broke the kiss, as he bowed down a bit to grab the back of her right knee with his left hand and propped it up, so her pussy lay bare and open before him. The change in position caused Kate to lay even more back into the wall in an attempt to properly center her weight.  With his right hand, Matty grabbed his cock and let it slide over her wet cunt, nudging her clit slightly every time.  The combination of the whole ordeal had left Kate already on edge and a string of incoherent words fell from her lips, consisting of mostly “Please, Matty”. Her voice was hoarse, quiet, and pleading. She just wanted him to do something. 

When he parted the lips of her pussy with the tip of his cock very slowly, she whimpered.  Her head fell back against the wall and she tried to push her hips out to make him move faster. But he didn’t let himself be rushed by that, instead, he pulled out again, leaving only the tip in.

“Shush, love. Patience. You’re gonna feel me tomorrow, don’t you worry. I’ll make sure of that”. 

With that he thrusts into her cunt with one long, hard stroke, bottoming out. Kate let out a surprised yelp and grabbed his shoulders to steady herself and burrowed her head in his shoulder to avoid making even more noise. 

As Matty continued to drive his dick hard into her, his hot breath grazed her ear. She could hear his labored breathing and the occasional grunt he let out. When he let his tongue flip over her earlobe, her moan was muffled by his shoulder. Her body had pretty much given out on her. Kate’s thoughts were blissfully empty and quiet. 

“Isn’t that what you wanted, love?” Every word was punctuated by another sharp, hard thrust.  His roughly spoken words made her pussy clench around his cock. “Fuck, you earned it.” 

His lips found the sensitive spot under her ear again as he softly bit into it, making her hiss quietly. Matty kissed the spot again, letting his tongue flicker out and lick over it. He continued his path of nibbling and kissing over her throat and neck. 

God, she was sure he left hickes all over but she did not care. She couldn’t care while he was balls deep into her cunt and fucking her like there was no tomorrow. 

The wet sound of her pussy that he drew out every time he bottomed out inside her was obscenely loud and carried through the empty venue. Just the mere thought of being caught in this situation turned her on more than it should. 

“I’m close, love”, his breathless voice grazed her ear, “I want you to cum with me.”

Kate whimpered upon his words and clenched around his cock. She felt and heard his quiet chuckle as he moved his free hand down to her cunt, placing his thumb on her clit. Matty started rubbing small circles over her clit, making her mewl softly. Kate let her head fall back onto the wall, moving it off the dip of his shoulder. His lips found hers again and he pinched her clit slightly, swallowing her surprised moan.  The sensation of his calloused hand on her clit and his dick filling her up again and again and his lips on hers was all she knew at that moment and it started to overwhelm her.  Matty broke the kiss and looked at her. His brown eyes were hazy as he stared at her, primal need burning hotly in them. 

His curls were unruly and stuck to his forehead as he uttered: “Cum, love, with me”. 

Her eyes went wide as she broke apart around him. In a moment of clarity, she buried her head in his should again, biting down hard to avoid the scream that she would have let out.  Every nerve ending felt on fire and the power of her orgasm washed over her. Her pussy cleching around his dick, as her complete body spasmed. 

Matty was still thrusting into her, as he came with a loud groan.  Grinding his hips into her, to fuck his release deep inside her. His fingers were digging into the flesh of her leg, hard enough to leave a bruise. And his other hand was rubbing circles on her oversensitive clit, making her buck into him involuntarily. She let out a whimper, every touch on or in her cunt felt too much now. Matty trusted one final time deeply into her, pushing his cum further inside before he withdrew. 

He was still holding her up, stabilizing her as he went in for another kiss, absolutely ravishing her mouth. Her hands were placed onto his shoulders, desperate for comfort and stability as she kissed him back with the same fervor. Matty broke the kiss, looking at her, before he gave her a peck on the lips and let go of her leg.

Kate slipped down the wall, her legs giving up on her. When her ass hit the floor, she looked up to him with tired eyes. She became aware of how sore and puffy her lips were when she let her tongue slip out to wet them. 

Matty broke the eye contact to take his phone out: “Gotta run, love”. 

The words didn’t register in her brain, as she watched him pull up his boxers and pants and tuck his flaccid cock inside. She watched him look around searching for some discarded piece of clothing, before he turned back to her. 

He smoothed back the hair from her face as he bowed down to her. When their eyes met again, he tilted her head up a bit and kissed her. Matty reached for the hem of her pants before he noticed his cum leaking out of her swollen cunt. With a wink he used to fingers to push into her again, gathering what had already leaked.  Kate whimpered quietly and tried to move away from his hand. After a few pumps, he was satisfied and pulled up her pants a bit. 

Matty shrugged off his lab coat and placed it over her like a blanket in an attempt to cover her. He leaned forward, placing a delicate kiss on her forehead, lingering for a short beat, before withdrawing completely and standing up. 

As he turned away from her and left the safety of their small hiding spot she could only watch him walk away through the dimly lit walkway of the venue, Kate decided to close her eyes for just a short minute. 

Lulled into a sense of security by the alcove and still surrounded by his scent and metaphorical embrace by his coat, his last words still lingered in the air: “Till next time, love”.

[lafiametta]

Prompt word for you.. comfort

Thanks to @bananaheaven for the inspiration!

She doesn’t say a single word to him the whole way back to New York.

She does speak—to tell the flight attendant she’d like some water, to thank the cab driver who drops them off at the gate of the mansion—but nothing to him, not even when she hands him back his jacket after waking up to find it draped over her.

At the airport, she disappears for a while, long enough that he starts to get worried, finally returning at the gate a few minutes before boarding. In her hand is a candy bar and a glossy magazine, which she reads during take-off and then stuffs into the seat pocket before falling asleep. Once the plane lands, they find a cab and share a silent ride back to Brooklyn. It’s late, almost half-past ten, when they finally reach the house, and after the guard lets them inside, she goes upstairs, presumably for the rest of the night.

He won’t see her again until morning, he realizes, and then he’ll drive her to the bank and then home. And that’s it—she’ll be gone.

The idea sits heavy in his chest—he’s only known her for a day and a half, even though it feels like far longer—but maybe he’s just tired. He barely slept at all the night before, just a couple uncomfortable hours in the back seat of the SUV with Ivan Zakharov passed out along his shoulder.

Igor wanders over to the main living room, quickly glancing past the staircase. He’s not surprised that it’s all cleaned up, broken glass and lamp parts swept away, couch cushions repositioned. Even the coffee table base is gone, like it had never been there at all. The cleaners did a good job—much better than he and Toros and Garnik had managed to do. Technically, Ivan’s mess was all cleaned up, with Ivan himself on his way back to Russia. But Ani wasn’t something that could be swept away, not even with a plane ride home and a ten-thousand-dollar check.

He takes a seat on the couch and with some difficulty manages to get the nearly button-free remote to work, turning the TV on to the local network. There’s nothing really on, though, and he flips through channels, not finding anything that’s interesting.

From upstairs he can hear the shower start to run. It makes sense: after the last two days, she’d want something warm and comforting, something to wash away all those hours of being in the car and on the plane, wearing the same clothes.

For a moment, he just listens to the faint hiss of the spray, then rubs the back of his head and makes himself think about something else.

Maybe what he needs is just to relax.

There’s a pack of cigarettes in his jacket pocket, but he knows nicotine’s not really going to be enough. Yesterday, there had been all sorts of shit on the coffee table in front of him—weed, a glass pipe—but it’s all gone now, cleaned away like the other living area. Who knows where it got put, tucked out of sight in case Ivan’s parents made an appearance? Still, there’s another option, although it’s all the way outside in the car.

It’s chilly as he heads out the door and down the stone steps, making him wish he had left his jacket and hoodie on. But it doesn’t take too long to find what he’s looking for in the glove compartment.

Out of respect for his grandmother, he doesn’t smoke weed in the apartment—he doesn’t even keep it in the apartment, but in the car, which she never drives anymore. Every so often, when he’s feeling anxious or stressed, he walks down to where the car is parked and pulls out the cigarette pack with a few blunts tucked into the bottom and smokes one. It’s nice, just to take the edge off sometimes.

He takes out one and leaves the rest in the glove compartment, then heads back inside.

The upstairs shower’s stopped; she must be getting ready for bed.

He still doesn’t exactly know where he’s going to sleep. There’s no way he’s going upstairs—that’s her space and has no intention of invading it—but he also doesn’t really want to sleep in any of the other bedrooms, particularly Ivan’s old room. This whole house is too much for him, all the fancy artwork and the elevator and the big view over the bay. The only place that seems at all habitable is the living room, with its oversized, cushiony couch and large television. The television back in his grandmother’s apartment isn’t as big, but they’ll spend most nights there sitting on the couch and watching her favorite shows. She almost always falls asleep before the news comes on at eleven, so he’ll wake her up and help her get to bed.

Maybe he’ll just sleep here, on the couch. It seems comfortable enough, and it’s only for a night.

It’s much warmer inside—or maybe it just seems that way after his trip out to the car—so he pulls off his sweater and drops it next to him on the couch. The thermostat is probably set to something outrageous and with all this space he can’t even begin to imagine what the monthly electric bill must be. But what the hell do people like the Zakharovs care? They’ve got billions, enough to never have to think about things like bills.

The local news has come on, so Igor turns up the volume a little. He likes listening to it when it’s on, just so he can get better at understanding English.

He’s got the blunt between his lips, holding his lighter up to the end, when he sees something moving on the staircase.

His heart presses fast against his ribs when he realizes that it’s her.

She’s dressed comfortably, as if for sleep, in a white tank top and sweatpants, her wet hair falling past her shoulders and down her back. He has no idea why she’s come downstairs—is there something wrong? does she need something?—but she doesn’t say anything, not even as she walks between the couch and the coffee table and sits down on the carpet a few feet away from him. As much as it had disappointed him, her silence on the plane and in the cab was understandable—so much had happened, and she needed space to deal with it—but why has she joined him in the living room if she doesn’t want to talk?

There’s barely time to consider this question before he realizes that the blunt in his mouth is lit, burning along its end. Instinctively, he pinches it between his fingers and takes a quick drag.

When her turns back towards her, he can see her looking at him, dark brows raised expectantly, and he can’t figure out what she wants, until it occurs to him that she’s not looking at him but at the blunt between his fingers.

He sits up and leans over a little, offering it to her. As she takes it, the tips of her fingers briefly trace against his.

They sit together in silence for a while, wordlessly passing the blunt back and forth, the sound of the news on the television drowning out all the questions he wants to ask her but doesn’t. He’s gotten one last chance to spend time with her before they have to say goodbye in the morning, and he doesn’t want to waste it. But he has no idea what to say, what words will mean anything to her, what might make her feel better or offer her some comfort.

By now he’s definitely more relaxed, leaning back into the couch cushions, half-watching the news as he periodically glances over at her where she’s sitting on the floor.

It’s funny: this is what he would be doing back in the apartment right now, except with his grandmother instead of Ani. It’s what he would have done last night too, if Garnik hadn’t called him and asked for his help with a problem with Ivan. His thirtieth birthday, spent running down a rich young asshole all over New York, rather than at home, watching television on the couch with his grandmother. With everything that had happened, he had almost forgotten about his birthday. Maybe this could count as his celebration, as weird as it is.

The blunt’s almost gone; he takes a couple quick drags and hands it back to her to finish.

“Happy birthday to me,” he says, a little lightheaded.

He doesn’t even really understand why he’s telling her—with everything she’s gone through, why would she even care?—still, it feels good to finally speak out loud.

When she replies, for a brief moment he wonders if he imagined it. But no: she’s asked him a question, and with warmth slowly spreading from the center of his chest he opens his mouth to answer her.

[send me a one-word Anora x Igor prompt]

[chaotic-kitty]

Last Legacy: Randomly Generated Scenarios

This has been sitting in my drafts folder for a very long time. Thought I'd just post it. Sorry if there are any mistakes.

MC: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Felix: Rude.

Sage: That's fair.

Anisa: Not again.

Rime: Are you going to want this back?

MC: Good morning.

Felix: Good morning.

Sage: Good morning.

Anisa: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Rime: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

MC: That's it, we're gonna go out and find what we need!

Anisa: To the city?

MC: Yeah, no matter what!

Rime: Well- How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?

MC: I…. I don't know!

Felix: Oh come off it, be serious!

MC: I am serious!

Felix: You're insane!

Sage: Why, if only we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved!

Everyone:

MC: What???

Sage: Or maybe it was a basset hound!

Felix, panicked: YOU'RE ALL INSANE!

MC: Nothing in life is free.

Felix: Love is free!

Sage: Adventure is free

Anisa: Knowledge is free

Rime: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

MC: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Sage will and will not eat.

Felix: Grass? Yes!

MC: Moss? Yes!!

Felix: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

MC: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Felix: Worms? Sometimes!

MC: Rocks? Usually nah.

Felix: Twigs? Usually!

MC: Rime's cooking? Inconclusive!

Anisa: How did you…. test this?

MC: You just hand them stuff and say 'eat this' and if they eat it, they eat it.

Anisa: ... I don't know how to feel about this.

Rime: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

MC: Bye Felix! Bye Sage! Bye Anisa! Bye Rime! Bye Felix!

Sage: You said "bye Felix' twice.

MC: I like Felix.

MC: So uhhh.. My question is: my friend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine. Uncooked.

Anisa: I would hope they're not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine!

Rime: In your pantry!

MC: Yeah…. and eating them raw, and they keep calling them 'chips'… … How do I make them stop?

Anisa: Is your friend here?

MC, motioning to Felix: Yeah.

Anisa, to Felix: You're a monster! Words MEAN things! >: (

Sage: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in many moons- but they DO have a like- fettuccine bottle that you can just- grab em out of and chew-

Sage: HOLD ON. WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN AS KIDS?!

Sage: NO, STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE TO CHEW ON IN THE LOBBY OF THE OLIVE GARDEN

Everyone else: No.

Sage, to Anisa and Rime: YOU FUCKIN BASTARDS

Anisa: YAAAAAAAAY!

Rime: THE PRESTIGE!

MC: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.

Felix: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Rime: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Sage: I joined in on the dumb stuff.

Anisa: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFFIlI

MC: What does 'take out' mean?

Anisa: Food.

Felix: Dating

Rime: Murder

Sage: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

MC: You're a loose cannon, Felix.

Felix: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Sage: I think you play by your own rules.

Anisa: No way, they think rules were made to be broken.

MC: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Felix: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Rime is a loose cannon.

Rime: *smashes a chair*

MC: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Felix: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Sage: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Anisa: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Rime: My moral code, is that you?

MC:

MC: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

MC: Time for plan G.

Felix: Don't you mean plan B?

MC: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Sage: What about plan D?

MC: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Anisa: What about plan E?

MC: I'm hoping not to use it. Rime dies in plan E.

Tulsi: I like plan E.

*The squad is over at MC's house*

Felix: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?

MC:.. N-No.

MC, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Felix, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!

Sage: I see a-

MC, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Felix: Oh. well I-

MC: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

MC, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Anisa: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Rime: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

MC: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!

MC: I am someone who owns four ovens..

MC, louder and way too happy: I am someone…. who owns FOUR OVENS.

MC: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens..

Tulsi, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!

MC:

Felix: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

MC:

MC, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

(If you got that reference, you’re a legend)

MC: Well, aren't you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you're out to save the world!

Felix: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.

Sage: More or less, I guess..

Anisa: That sounds awesome! Let's do that!

Rime: I'm new here, but I am open to the concept.

Tulsi: I thought that's what we were doing, guys, come on!

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

MC: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know

Everyone:

Felix: ...I did. I broke it.

MC: No. No you didn't. Sage?

Sage: Don't look at me. Look at Anisa.

Anisa: What?! I didn't break it.

Sage: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Anisa: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Sage: Suspicious.

Anisa: No, it's not!

Rime: If it matters, probably not, but Tulsi was the last one to use it.

Tulsi: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Rime: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Tulsi: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Rime!

Felix: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, MC

MC: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Rime: MC... Sage's been awfully quiet.

Sage: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

MC, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

MC: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

MC:

MC: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

*Squad reactions to being told 'I love you**

MC: Thanks fam!

Felix: oh no

Sage: *cries* I love you too

Anisa: Sounds fake but okay

Rime: *A flustered mess*

Tulsi: can i get a refund

MC: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Felix: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Sage: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.

Anisa: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade

Rime: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Tulsi:

Tulsi: I have emotional scars.

MC: Felix…… How do I begin to explain Rime?

Sage: Rime is flawless.

Anisa: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000

Felix: I hear they do car commercials… in Japan.

Tulsi: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.

MC: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Felix: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 15 cents

MC: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Sage: Actually I did the math, Felix would have $225, not $0.15.

Felix: Fam I'm right here..

Anisa: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

MC: while you're there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Anisa: Sorry I only have a dollar

MC: :(

Sage: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Felix would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Anisa: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

Sage: You can buy anything you want with $22,500

Rime: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice

Sage: Apply juice to what

Tulsi: Directly to the forehead

Felix: Great chat everyone

MC: Rules are made to be broken.

Felix: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Sage: Uh, piñatas.

Anisa: Glow sticks.

Rime: Karate boards.

Tulsi: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

MC: Rules.

Felix:

MC: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I'm torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Felix: Okay, but what is updog?

Sage: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish,

Anisa: Not, that's a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Rime: No, that's an update. You're thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Tulsi: Surely, that's Uppsala, where's updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

MC: That's Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Anisa: You're thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Sage: No, that's an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Felix: What's a henway??

MC: Oh, about five pounds.

MC: We need to distract these guys

Felix: Leave it to me

Felix: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Sage, Anisa, and Rime: *Immediately begin arguing*

Tulsi, watching in horror: Oh this. I don't like this. I don't like this at all.

MC, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Felix: Hey.

Sage: Hi.

Anisa: Hello.

Rime: Hey!

MC: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Tulsi: We were out of Doritos.

MC: Hewwo.

Felix: Hihiiiiii!

Tulsi: Greetings, Humans

Rime: Three kinds of people

Anisa: I want pudding.

MC: Four kinds of people.

Sage: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?

Rime: Five kinds of people.

MC: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Felix: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Sage: Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Felix, learn to listen.

Anisa: What if it bites itself and I die?

Rime: That's voodoo.

Tulsi: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Felix: That's correlation, not causation.

Anisa: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Rime: That's kinky.

MC: Oh my God.

MC: Just be yourself.

Felix: 'Be myself'? MC, I have one day to win Sage over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Anisa: Couple weeks.

Rime: Six months.

Tulsi: Jury's still out.

Felix: See, MC?

Felix: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

Sage: Why are MC and Felix sitting with their backs to each other?

Anisa: They had a fight.

Sage: Then why are they holding hands?

Anisa: They get sad when they fight.

MC: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Felix: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

MC: I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING SAGE WITH ME

Anisa, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.

MC: You know those things will kill you, right?

Felix, pouring another glass of whiskey: That's the point.

Sage, smoking a cigarette: We're trying to speed up the process.

Anisa: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

Saaros: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you're all invited

Anisa: If?

MC: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and they might not even die.

Saaros: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Anisa: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Saaros: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

MC: edible

Saaros: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Anisa?

Anisa: ... No.

MC: I do!

Saaros: I know, MC.

MC: I'm sad!

Saaros: I know, MC.

Saaros: I'm kind of crushing on someone, but I'm worried about telling you who it is, because you're not going to like it

Anisa: Just rip the bandage off.

Saaros: It's MC

Anisa: Put the bandage back on.

Saaros, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Anisa, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you're staying home and having my kids

MC: what the fuck are you guys doing?

Saaros: playing systemic oppression.

Saaros: So, what, now I'm just supposed to do anything that Anisa does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?

MC: If Anisa were to jump off a cliff, they would've done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Anisa jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Saaros: You jump off a cliff!

MC: Gladly. Provided Anisa did first.

Saaros: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?

Anisa: *turning to MC* How tall are you?

*Saaros and Anisa sitting in jail together*

Anisa: So who should we call?

Saaros: I'd call MC, but I feel safer in jail.

Saaros: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Anisa: Wasn't MC with you?

MC: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Saaros: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.

Anisa, amazed: Wow.

MC, to Anisa: Well what does that mean?

Anisa: I don't know.

Anisa, to Saaros: What does that mean?

Saaros: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Anisa: Have everyone stand.

MC: Bring three more chairs!

Sage: The most important ones can sit down.

Felix: Kill three.

Saaros: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends

Anisa: ... Your what?

Saaros: My friends.

MC: Are they saying "friends"?

Sage: I think they're being sarcastic.

Felix: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Saaros! All of your friends are in this room.

Saaros: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete

tasks.

Saaros: You kidnapped Anisa? That's illegal!

MC: But Saaros, what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Anisa, or destroying our dreams?

Saaros: Kidnapping Anisa, MC!!!

Sage: Saaros, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these guys are counting on you to inspire them!

Saaros: What, to kidnap people?!?!

Sage: To work toqether!

Saaros: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!?!?!

Felix: Saaros, we all agreed a celebrity is a not a people.

Tulsi: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I've killed anybody. I'm not an arsonist. I've never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Sage: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

Tulsi: Hey Sage can I get a sip of your water?

Sage: It's not water.

Tulsi: Vodka, I like your style!

Sage: It's vinegar.

Tulsi: Wh-Wha-

Sage: It's vinegar, COWARD.

Tulsi: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.

Sage: Tulsi, that's a coma.

Tulsi: Sounds festive.

Tulsi: You kill people for money?!

Sage: I can explain!

Tulsi: And all this time I've been doing it for free like a chump!

Tulsi: Do you think you'd actually notice if someone didn't cast a shadow? Or if their limbs were just slightly too long? Or if they had just a little too many teeth? like how many times have you passed Something on the street and you just didn't Notice It?

Sage: Stay woke monsterfuckers ur love is out there!!!!!

Tulsi: Yknow what? Not my point at all in any way whatsoever, but I'm glad I could be an inspiration.

Tulsi: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Sage: Killed without hesitation.

Tulsi: No.

Tulsi: That's one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut.

Sage: You would eat yourself?

Tulsi: I wouldn't even question it.

Felix, tending to Rime's wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Rime: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Felix: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes

Rime: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD

Felix: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?

Felix: This is a mistake

Rime, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!

Felix: But not today

Rime, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess.

Felix: Is something burning?

Rime: Just my love for you.

Felix: Rime, the toaster is on fire.

Felix: Don't worry, I know exactly what I'm doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Rime: How can you still say that?

Felix: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Felix: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Rime: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.

Felix: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Felix: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Rime: I do have a sense of humor you know

Felix: I've never heard you laugh before

Rime: I've never heard you say anything funny

Felix: So that's my plan.

Rime: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean.

Felix: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.

Rime: It fucking sucks.

Felix: That's not constructive criticism.

Felix: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

Rime: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

Rime: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Felix: Twelve, actually.

Rime: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Felix: Yours!

Rime: That's right: no one's.

Felix: You saved me. I owe you my life.

Rime: No thanks. I've seen it and I'm not very impressed.

Felix, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don't really think heels are for me

Rime, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

Felix: God, give me patience.

Rime: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Felix: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

Felix: Rime, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!

Rime: Well of course I have.

Rime: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Rime: It's boring.

[livseses]

Yay! We had our first session of @nyroka 's PF2e campaign!

We were so nervous leading up to it. We got tons of prep work done before hand, so the few hours before were that sort of "hurry up and wait" anxiety. We were ready to run, so there was nothing we could do to settle ourselves while the clock ticked closer to game.

It was great! Well, rocky and awkward as any roleplay heavy session 1 should be expected. Maybe less so. Technical difficulties from playing with some features for the first time popped up. A couple of blind spots in our prep shook our confidence. But in the end, we were more prepared than we weren't.

Speaking of prep, we had a bunch of maps! There were 5 separate scene locations (plus the starting city itself). Foundry VTT added a feature recently where you can set up regions that trigger automatic stuff in them (usually when a character's token walks into them). So we had all of these maps set up to have exits that teleport a character to the city map (and spots on the city map that teleports them to those individual scenes). It was all very slick! The PCs could move from their starting scene into someone else's smooth and organically.

We also made a few handouts. The built in journal is frustrating to work with, but we eventually figured out how to properly make a document that had the NPCs picture on one side, and information about them on the other, without the formatting going wonky. We also used a meme maker to make parchment scroll notice thing (an advertisement one of the characters posted to get the other PCs to join their adventure). We spent a few hours yesterday morning futzing around in GIMP trying to figure out how to remove the white background. Lol it felt silly spending hours trying to turn the background transparent, when a white background would be fine. But! Now we know, and that upgrade is going to be applicable to so many documents we make in the future!

We also had a cool quest tracker mod installed (Simple Quest), but sadly we were too busy to use it how we intended. We wrote up some quests for the individual PCs that were partially complete. It was a cool bit of story telling having stuff like having "Hire the eccentric wizard" marked as complete, followed by "Don't let the eccentric wizard distract you with info dumping about extradimensional spaces" marked as failed. We had planned to reveal more quest items, and check items off as the scenes progressed, but we were too busy with all of the NPCs to remember!

Which fried our brain! Most of the time, when we run games in Cellaphage (the setting for this game, that Ny, Ahri, Aros, and Kelspur also come from) we don't so much roleplay the NPCs as we channel them. It's not like our normal switches, but "possession" is a pretty close description. We hand the character our voice and they just do their own thing. So part of our exhaustion was from all that switching.

Speaking of voices, omg we got to do so many voices! We use accents as an auditory shorthand for the different regions/languages of Cellaphage (e.g. giving a French accent to the vampires). We surprised some of the players by springing on them that the country they start in uses an Australian accent. That was super fun doing 4 separate character voices, but applying the same accent to them. Idk how well others could hear it, but we could tell the difference! I think by the end of session we had voiced like 11 NPCs? Again, brain fried by all this switching 😆

We like the suspense of doing cliffhangers, but we don't like how cliffhangers means that the game is in stasis between sessions (we like when our players roleplay outside of session). We found a really cool best of both worlds though! At the end of the session, I narrated a scene taking place from the villains' perspective, that sets up the encounter the party is going to face. It did the dramatic set up of "Oh no how does this turn out" but leaves the players able to think, plan, and roleplay what their characters are doing between sessions. Also I got to make it nice and creepy to fit the "haunted woods full of vampires" they're going to.

We're excited for next week! And we're so so so happy to finally be running a game of Ny's design that let's us just relax, be crazy, and ride the waves of dissociative madness.

[lively-potter]

— trials of athena ; four

— genre ; enemies to lovers, kinda slow burn, friends to lovers

— warnings ; a hella lot of cursing, some typos ( of course 🙄😬 ), mature themes, smut, athena doesn’t like feelings, fluff, smut, angst, some violence, a teeny bit of blood and gore, JK’s a dick fr

— intro, teaser, part one, part two, part three

— find me on Wattpad ; LivelyPotter

— 2024 © LivelyPotter all rights reserved

— word count ; 2k

— taglist ; @ahgasegotarmy116 @jk97bam

chapter four ; “my brain is experiencing technical difficulties.”

May 23rd, 2023 9 AM

The next morning, I was still annoyed that my family didn't let me give that rotten rat shit a piece of my mind. It got even worse when Mom and the rest of my family were basically infatuated with that cabbage head.

Mother dearest couldn't stop saying how kind he was. How respectful he was. How sweet. How handsome.

JK this, and JK that.

Constantly.

Gag.

He's a two faced, hotter than the sun, little rat bastard.

After finishing my second round of editing my manuscript for my latest book and sending my agent an email to clue him in on my latest accomplishment, I tore myself away from my desk and stretched my poor, aching shoulders.

"Yo bitch, did you even hear me?" Sawyer hollered through the phone.

"Sonofabitch – Sawyer, you ass! You scared the shit out of me." I grumped, grabbing my phone from the desk and taking it off speaker phone. I set the phone against my ear and flopped back on my bed.

"Sorry dude," I sighed, stretching out my body. "What were you saying?" I asked, lips pulling up in a grin when Sawyer started to whine.

"I was telling your bitch ass that I'm gonna be home soon to see your little boy toy," he snickered.

My eyes widened, "That rotten beaver nugget is not anything to me, and he is anything but little – if we're getting technical about it."

Sawyer moaned tortured, "I can't believe I missed that. I wanna go home."

"Same," I sighed, "I wish you were here. But when you get back, you can come stay with me if it's cool with your parents – which would be a good excuse to see the dickwad next door."

"We could always egg his house," Sawyer said thoughtfully. I laughed loudly and shook my head.

"I wish." I grunted, "But Mom and the others would murder us if we did."

I could picture Sawyer smirking, "They're probably hoping he'll be your future husband." He cackled.

My face flushed heavily from anger or envy—never mind. No. My face did flush from anger, it couldn't be anything else. I wouldn't allow it to be anything else.

"Fuck that!" I squawked, "He's insufferable." I stuck my nose in the air, lip curling as I did so.

Sawyer tutted, "Okay then, so you don't mind if I steal him?"

Yes.

"No," I replied, mentally smacking myself across the face. I absentmindedly traced the bruise on my cheek. "Go on ahead, Sweetpea. Plus, he isn't a possession to steal, bro."

Try it and I'll saw your tiny balls off and shove them down your throat.

A lump grew in my throat at that terrifying thought.

"Anyways," I quickly changed the subject once I heard Mom call for me downstairs. "I gotta go, Mom's calling me – but I'll call you later and tell you any new gossip, 'kay?"

"Kay, hoe. Love you."

A laugh escaped my lips, "Love you too, cunt."

I hung up the phone and pocketed my phone and rushed downstairs.

Mom was waiting for me at the dining room table. I walked into the large room and saw her on her laptop with a stack of papers on her left side.

"Whatcha up to, Ma?" I asked, plopping down into the seat across from her. Mom peered up at me over her glasses with a big smile.

"Hi, sweetie." She greeted, holding a small piece of paper in her french manicure hands. "Would you mind picking up a couple last minute things at the store for me?" She asked, "I would ask one of your dads to do it, but they're dealing with something at the diner."

"Sure, I don't mind. What do you need?" I asked, brows furrowing when she handed me the piece of paper in her hands.

"Here's a list," She smiled, and pecked the top of my head, eyeing the bruise with barely contained amusement. "Thank you."

"No problem," I shrugged, "Just let me get dressed and I'll head out."

I got up from the table and on my way to the stairs, Mom called after me.

"I love you! Oh! And if you see our neighbor; be sure to be nice, Athena."

My face dropped in agitation, "I'll try." To get on his nerves. "But he deserved fuckin' Nair in his shampoo."

***

May 23rd, 2023 10:55 AM

After dressing in black leggings, a random oversized AC/DC shirt I stole from North, and then proceeding to steal his jeep to drive myself to the nearest store, I was already seething after being caught up in a fuckin' traffic jam.

Ugh.

I really hated going out sometimes (what the fuck am I saying? I hate leaving home period).

"Let's get this over with." I mumbled, jumping out of North's jeep (which would soon be mine if I played my cards right, if he didn't rip my heart out after finding out I stole it first.)

Oops.

With Papa's credit card in hand, along with Mom's list; I proceeded my walk into the store.

Twenty minutes had passed, and I nearly had everything – deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, Mom's green juice, and oddly enough a skin tag remover.

With my arms full, I peered down at the last items and paled.

Tampons, I could deal with. But condoms? Eww.

I gagged and cringed.

"This is fucking mortifying," I whispered to myself.

Who knew I would have to buy my parents' condoms. But with all the shit that's been happening recently; it didn't seem too far-fetched. But still nasty.

I hesitantly walked into the women's hygiene isle and got the biggest pack of tampons I've ever seen and squared my shoulders and looked at the ground; briskly walking towards the end of the isle, not paying attention to where I was going until I bumped into a rock wall.

"Oww." I winced, holding my bruised cheek with my free hand, "I'm so sorry, please excuse—" I looked up and froze.

Holy Peanut Butter and Jelly Crackers.

The bitch glaring darkly at me was my neighbor, the unnecessary movie sequel. Who stood towering above me, (glaring darkly, might I add, once again), for accidentally bumping into him.

"...Never mind." I raised a brow. I tried side stepping him, but that stupid beaver bitch nugget stood in front of me, blocking me from moving – for no reason.

I gulped, eyes flashing down to his crouch. It was like getting fucking PTSD flashbacks. Of his monster dick tearing that women's throat in two.

(not that I see all of it happen – it was just my imagination, you dirty hoes)

I bet she'll be having to suck on some of those throat lozenges my dad gives me when I get sick to get some feeling back there.

I tore my eyes away from his pants and felt the back of my neck flush as I took in his outfit.

Black combat boots seemed to be his norm, along with dark clothing. This time the dickhead wore baggy pants, a white tank with a open button down shirt overtop. You could still see the tattoos on his arms, but I knew he had a lot more. A black studded belt tied the entire outfit together.

It tore me up admitting that the dude had style.

My mouth dried at the thought of his bare chest. And those abs. If I could squeal like a little girl at the image of his abs, you bet your bottom dollar I'd do it.

UH-THEE-NA

STOP THINKING OF HIM THIS WAY

HE IS A DICKFACE

A RUDE HOOLIGAN

My neighbor raised a brow of his own and licked at the silver hoops on his lips – eyeing me up and down. His doe eyes darkened back into a glare when he looked into my eyes to find I was looking at him hatefully in return.

"I liked you better when you were stuttering." He rasped, dark eyes flashing in amusement when I bared my teeth at him.

"And I liked you better when you were halfway across the country." I spit back, remembering his conversation with Mom and North last night when he told them he lived in California prior.

Gods, why did this man get me so angry, so quickly?

My neighbor threw back his head and laughed for a moment, and I took the chance to take him in. His dark black hair was shaved in the back, with his hair longer on top. It looked so soft and fluffy; I just wanted to touch and tug it.

Wut? No Athena – the only time I will be thinking about his fluffy hair is when I imagine it all falling out when I put Nair in his hair products.

My neighbor looked back down at me and bit the edge of his lip.

My eye twitched.

I remembered the way he bit his lip when that lady hit her knees in front of him.

DO NOT THINK OF THIS AGAIN.

"Can you get out of my way?" I gritted out through clenched teeth, don't lash out, Athena. Just don't...no matter how much you want to

My neighbor eyed my cheek curiously seeing the handprint shaped bruise and jerked his chin. "What happened there?"

Ah, nothing much. Only that I bitch slapped myself after seeing the pierced beast in your pants. No biggie.

"Not your business, you overdraft bank fee." I snapped. My neighbor's head neared back in shock, lips pursing to keep the smirk off his lips.

"Overdraft bank fee? Really? That's the best you got, Princess?" he asked, bending his knees down to lower his height to look me in the eyes.

I gasped at the disrespect, "Okay; listen here, you lunatic." My eye started to twitch again. Damn it. "I am not that short—"

"Really?" he snorted, eyes alight with amusement, "How tall are you? Five Foot?"

He stood to his full height and peered down at me, daring me.

"Four eleven and a quarter, thank you very much for asking." I cut in, ears blushing hotly as he snickered, "and two, I have a lot of insults – I can make you a list, if you'd like, fuckface. And three, my name is Athena, not Princess." I hissed lowly.

I held onto the box of tampons when he looked after I had finished my speech.

My hotter than the sun smirked again (ohmygod, does he not know how to smile? Only smirk?) and peered at the list in my hands.

"You have a mouth on you." He mused, watching with rapt attention as I choked slightly.

"Probably not as good as that lady a couple days ago." I muttered too lowly for him to hear.

His ears perked, "You say something, princess?" he asked, lips lifting in a little smirk.

The back of my neck flushed at the nickname.

I grasped the items in my arms tighter towards me, "Nothing. Now can you move out of my way?" I asked. My neighbor chuckled lowly and reached above my head to grab something.

Sonofabitch: my brain is experiencing technical difficulties.

The fabric of his shirt brushed against my chin, and I got a whiff of his cologne. It was light but fuckin' heavenly. Why did this insufferable salt slug smell so good.

"Here," His eyes sparkled in amusement as he dropped a medium sized box on top of the items in my hands. My face paled then brightened into a blush when I saw the box of condoms.

My neighbor watched my face color in sick amusement.

I wanted to reach over and smack the piss out of his gorgeous cheeks.

He backed away slowly, holding another box of condoms in his hand as he left, chuckling lowly.

"I'll be seeing you soon, princess."

Fuck.

It happened again.

I was malfunctioning. 

My eyes look to the right, and lit up once I saw the Nair powder.

Without a second thought and regret; I swiped the box up in my hands and went to the checkout.

I have a feeling I'll be needing this. Real soon.

A/N

i love my beloved athena sm. are y'all excited to meet sawyer?

[haruniki]

hey! i am so sorry you weren’t feeling that well and i am so glad that you’re feeling better now. i just wanted to let you know that you’re very talented and very important. your blog is really a safe space and your contribution to the wlw community is important.

i wanted to request an adult!(of course) sakura haruno with a female reader that is struggling to sleep? just some caring & nurturing sakura helping her sleep deprived gf… i have been struggling with insomnia lately because of exams and it would really mean a lot to me to read something like that with my favorite character.

take your time with this! don’t pressure yourself and make sure to take care <3 love ya :)

(+ sorry for any grammatical errors, english isn’t my first language)

a/n: hiii!! tysm for rqing!! im glad that im a safe space for others in my community!! it means a lot to me that ppl are enjoying my content. I hope you enjoy. And for everyone to know, all my characters that have an adult version already, i always write them as their adult versions! I won't ever write an older version of a character unless it's for a comfort fic (ex: PJSK Mafuyu finally living her life/her life away from home or something like that.) also i do apologize for this being posted late, i was trying to fall in to when my scheduled post were. Pls enjoy and sorry for the long a/n!!

Sakura Haruno w/sleep deprived/insomniac reader (sorry if there is a better wording than this)

Sakura is technically a doctor so i think she's more than suited to help you with your sleeping problems mostly and stress!!

She's the first to scold you when you obviously way too caught up in studying. Worried that you're spending too much time with your books/computer/notes, she might steal them and place them somewhere else for a little while.

Sakura also convinces you to chill out for a while. She'll make you your favorite drink, maybe a snack while she's at it. You'll cuddle, maybe watch an episode or two of your favorite show, just something to keep you off of studying.

Sakura already knows that you'll ace your exams, so you need to take a break. Relaxing is just as important as retaining information!!

She gets super worried when she finds that you're having difficulty sleeping. Especially when it starts affecting your daily life, just this morning she saw you try to pour a glass of water into an upside down glass!

Luckily, your wonderful, smart, girlfriend has figured out a solution or two!

Her first solution is to fix your sleeping schedule. Pulling you out of where you studying at and getting you to go to bed at normal times. This might take a couple of tries, maybe a few days or so? But your sleeping schedule will be fixed through her persuasion of cuddles and maybe a few kisses.

Sakura second solution is to maybe try melatoin. She knows it might not work but she wants to atleast try. If they work, then she'll be super happy! This will help fix your sleep schedule way faster!

I think overall, Sakura is gonna encourage you to study as much as you can, but she doesn't mean ruin your sleep schedule or even getting stressed out over exams. She knows that you can ace your exams and you can always ask her to help you.

[sophieinwonderland]

I have a question for willogenic/tulpagenic or systems that create their headmates.

Why would you? Why would you want someone else in your head and take control of your body? What motive could drive someone to actively do that and create more?

I also want to ask if they really feel how horrible it is to have arguments or headmates hurt you because they can create their own as they please.

Also if they experience the bad symptoms of being plural and not just the "fun" part such as dissociation, depersonalization, derealization, amnesia, identity crisis, etc.

I do not ask any of these questions with the desire to bother, I genuinely want to know and it is a question that keeps me alert.

Often, people drawn to the tulpamancy community are those with ASD, anxiety or other disorders that leave them feeling alone.

I was an accident, technically. At least, my host didn't plan on making a sentient being. But for others, it's not hard to see why they would be drawn to the practice. My own host had a good home life with a really supportive family, but has difficulty interacting with external people, which could be isolating.

I also want to ask if they really feel how horrible it is to have arguments or headmates hurt you because they can create their own as they please.

Arguments happen. We had a couple really bad ones early on. But... our system was created differently and that affects how we view each other.

A person, any person, is going to be reflecting what they learn from the world. We're all products of our environments.

A lot of headmates formed by trauma. They... come into the world experiencing its worst parts.

The system grows up maybe hearing the voices of their headmates but shutting them out. They don't have access to plural resources and feel like they're going crazy. Aggression can be taken out on headmates because the headmates aren't even seen as real, and abused children often don't have good role models for positive relationships.

By the time you find out that you're plural, a lot of harm has been done to the system and their relationships with each other. Building back trust can take time for these systems. It's tragic.

...

That's not how it was for us. Again, I wasn't made intentionally. I was just the imaginary friend. So there was a bit of denial, but I denied my own emotions too. And it took only a couple months for us to discover the tulpa community and realize I was a real person.

By the time of my creation, my host was an adult who had a solid understanding of how healthy relationships work. We could communicate our problems as they came out. We might argue one night, but then we made an effort to sit down and talk our problems out until they were resolved as soon as we could. I sometimes wish that I could have been here from the beginning, but I suspect that it's best for our relationship that I wasn't.

He already cared about me and wanted me to be happy. He enjoyed seeing me learn and grow, and interact with the world. I'm incredibly lucky to have had him in my life.

I would never hurt my host, and he would never hurt me. (At least, not intentionally.)

And me getting front time was a gift. It was something he provided when I wanted to do things in the real world because he wanted me to be happy, and loved seeing me happy.

Also if they experience the bad symptoms of being plural and not just the "fun" part such as dissociation, depersonalization, derealization, amnesia, identity crisis, etc.

Yes and no.

I think some of these symptoms exist, but are more mild. (Technically, all switching is considered dissociative.) We had some days when we fell into doubt spirals that were miserable. The worst lasted hours, but never more than a day. We've had mornings waking up, not knowing who is in front immediately, which I think is a form of depersonalization, but it only lasted minutes.

There's no amnesia unless you intentionally build it up. There might be "speed bumps" where memories of some headmates are easier to access by them than other headmates. And there have been times when non-fronters have a much harder time accessing information the fronter knows. Something about fronting makes information more accessible.

But by and large, a lot of these symptoms of DID are symptoms of PTSD. While we might experience lesser versions of some of these, they don't have much of an impact on our lives.

And the few negatives are outweighed by the advantages of having an internal support network to prop each other up.

[grapenehifics]

😈✍️ and 🛒 please! 😘

For this ask game!

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

The couple of chapters right before the monster that is chapter 24 of Solsbury Hill were purposefully short and while stylistically I stand by that choice, for people who were following along in real time it was super mean. Like, you'd get a fic update email and then it was like 500 (super depressing) words. I'm sorry friends.

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

Sometimes! @ineffableobikin beta'd for me when I did my first prompt fill (writing for someone else is hard, y'all, even when you like the subject) and @ailsacraigfannishness Brit-pick'd Some Technical Difficulties. Thank you friends!

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Happy endings. Enthusiastic consent. Sports. My fics are very...practical? Like there's a lot of talk about going to work and how everyone is making their money and paying their rent (I feel like it's very obvious that Connie Willis is my favorite author lol). I set a lot of scenes first thing in the morning and right after getting home from work. And weddings/proposals. Obikin end up married in just about all my fics.

Thank you for the ask!

[mamamittens]

Failwife au but it's a cute moment.

So, there's been some adjusting for Nikia. Being in a pirate ship. Some expected nausea, her difficulty eating out of social embarrassment/awkwardness, and general RBF=\=actual bitchy intent.

But there's also another thing.

She has a terrible time sleeping. It does not help that RBF.

Part of it is a normal bed (or a hammock if you believe their bunk areas are more traditional and designed to accommodate multiple people in a single room--idk that ship is massive I think it's at least dorm room situation myself). She's used to a bed built to accommodate her wings. And barely twin size mattress does not do her any favors.

It's just not big enough. Or at least there's not enough support to scrunch up a little. She's a tight little cocoon sleeping uncomfortably on her wings nightly. And she's not tall enough or, frankly, large enough to justify them automatically giving her a big ass bed. No one else knows how difficult it is to sleep with a giant wingspan after all.

And the second issue? Noise.

She's used to a very specific ambience.

A blizzard outside of well insulated walls.

The crackle of a fire.

Perhaps the gentle music of a record player if that's a thing in OP, I genuinely don't know.

Distantly the snores of a guest but that's exceedingly rare and usually after hauling their ass out of said blizzard. So she's too tired to register it.

But on a ship there's just so many... Odd sounds.

Depending on where it is, she can hear the creaking of wood. The shuffle of strangers in their beds. Snoring. Footsteps. Idle conversation. Maybe the sea rocking the whole ship.

Even worse with haki, she can sense so many people around her. Constantly. Every startling noise rocketing her senses back to full sensitivity.

So yeah... There's only so much time can do to help her adjust.

Back aches like a bitch from the cramped way she has to tuck in her wings or risk them being stepped on. Overstimulation around the corner after rough nights. It's no wonder she never looks like she's actually smiling.

Then there's a party she's basically bullied into attending. She mostly watches from the sidelines, pretending to drink a mug of ale. Until the boys get enough liquid courage to pull her into a group of casual conversation with a few others. Occasionally Thatch or Izou wandering off for more food or drink or the challenge of strength. Always returning back to the pile of pillows someone tossed out for a conversation pit where Nikia was sitting. Too comfy to leave for once. Not that she could pick her way to below deck at this rate, it was so late and so many people were already passed out.

She ends up curled around a pillow and asleep on her side. Not squished into a small space because anytime someone tried to take their spot, Izou or Thatch would magically reappear to reclaim their seat. She's technically on one wing, but it's folded so most of her weight is perfectly just off her primary feathers. The other blanketing her.

Thatch nearly wakes her up loudly lamenting how cute she looks, Izou catching him just in time. They remove her glasses and consider taking her to bed. Hers. Theirs. Somewhere not on deck at least.

But she looks so peaceful! It's criminal now to risk waking her!

Ace nearly ended up her cuddle buddy cause she was cold but he's got practice dodging grabbier hands than hers. Does laugh and tease the boys tho

They're drunk enough to just slip in on either side and pass out. They were definitely trying to cuddle her but very poorly. Unfamiliar with working around her wings as they were.

But they wake up much more comfortable in the morning. Scooted closer than expected. Nikia cuddling Thatch's arm and her wings curled around both of them. Almost totally hiding them from the sun from head to foot. Enough that they were the last ones to wake.

Nikia however, did not wake up. Totally dead to the world, having fallen back asleep at some point listening to their heartbeats rather than the dozens of foreign sounds.

She sleeps for two days. It doesn't help that they sorta-kinda-accidentally groom her wings at some point, sending her further into her miniature coma.

Marco was not amused once he grilled her for her apparent exhaustion. It was a bit of an embarrassing oversight all things considered. They accommodated many aboard in dozens of little ways. Anemics given free reign of special snacks. Fishmen placed closer to communal washrooms for a midnight glass of water without walking too far or waking a lot of people. Women having a similar placement just for any accidents for easier cleanup. They certainly have bigger beds for people literally Built Different.

Maybe this is how she winds up with the rare non-commander privilege of a room all to herself to accommodate a bed big enough to spread out in. Perhaps originally intended for married couples but most of Whitebeard's crew either pretends they don't know what commitment is or are literally incapable of it to start with.

Either way, Whitebeard mourns the lack of grandkids he can dote on better than grown adults. It's part of the family thing he wants lol (still refuse to believe none of them have kids. Statistically unlikely, just saying).

Thatch and Izou set their sights on angling for a 'totally just platonic sleepover' at some point cause damn was that a nice ass rest. Very soft wings to be buried under.

Nikia is too busy luxuriating in her newfound sleep freedom. The sounds are still a bit of a problem, especially now that she's in a new area with different schedules of hallway mates, but it's much more doable without the cramps or fear of being stepped on.

[caspi-snz]

Happy Birthday, K/aeya! (Pretend this isn't 5 days late, I ran into a lot of physical and technical difficulties oops...also, this is the first fic I've posted on here. To be honest it isn't my best work and feels very rushed, but I'm just happy to have something to put out there😭. I have a couple other first I'd like to post as well, when the time comes! Pls be nice<3 the art has mild nudity, the fic only has a suggestive(?) Moment but shouldn't have anything too weird in it)

Kaeya should have seen it coming, in all honesty.

The evening before was an obvious warning sign, or at least it should have been, If only the captain was just a bit more concerned with his own well being. When he’d got back to his apartment the night before, he noticed for just a moment the curious itch that haunted the back of his throat, as well as the dull ache behind his eyes.

He’d spent the day on patrols through the valleys of Mondstadt, ignoring the rapidly chilling air and the clouds that gathered overhead. He wound up caught in more than one rainstorm that afternoon, and barely found shelter each time. Luckily enough for him, everyone else was incredibly occupied(oddly enough, several knights were out with a nasty head cold that appeared to be rising up the ranks. The ailment was putting many of the best men and women of the Favonius out of work, and their jobs accumulated onto the shoulders of everyone else),and ended up dismissing the damp clothes Kaeya continued to wear, he himself far too busy to change into anything else.

Then, while filling out some last minute paperwork in the dim light of the evening while sitting peacefully in his office, an unexpected tickle overran his senses and had him sputtering, a quill shaking in tandem to his slender hand. For some reason, the feeling caught him unaware, and had the captain releasing two breathy, barely covered sneezes into his unoccupied hand.

Kaeya got rather irritated after the spell, but ultimately ignored the causes and every single incredibly obvious sign.

He was getting sick.

The next morning, upon opening his eyes, the Cavalry Captain was met with an awful weakness in his limbs. Fatigue coursed through his body, and a chill swam throughout him, his warm body shivering in tune with each wave of cold. Other than the fatigue, all he had else was a runny, incredibly itchy nose and a dry throat, so he chose to go to work anyway. No point in making more work for the Grand master and their subordinates. 

It started out manageable, all he had to tackle were morning patrols and assigning what few people they had left to different areas in order to cover as much ground as possible before the afternoon patrols were assigned. Despite his strategic use of teams, there was ultimately a large span of area that Kaeya had to cover for himself, due to how stretched thin the knights were in the moment.

It wasn’t going to be that hard, was it?

And at first, it truly wasn’t. But then it just kept getting worse. Every stifled sneeze resulted in clouding his vision and a pounding strike to his skull, every slice with his blade pressing unnecessary strain onto his arms, and every single parry against the sword pushing him backwards and nearly to a vulnerable and possibly deadly position. It was a living hell, if he was being honest. His headache molded itself into a migraine the longer he stayed in the sun, his itchy throat turning into a tedious cough, and his previous fatigue turning into terrible muscle cramps. At last he’d covered all the ground for the morning, and with sweat pouring down his face, he plopped down beside the Statue of Seven at Windrise, basking in the heavenly shade of Vanessa’s tree. With his eyes squeezed shut, Kaeya felt down from his chest for the end of his opened shirt with blindly guided hands, undoing his corset and releasing a sigh of relief as it pulled away from his sweat-dampened undershirt. 

“HrkSHgt!HehKehSHKkt!” Kaeya sneezed twice, squashing his wrist into his face out of habit, his exposed breasts clenching together with the action and shuddering back into place with the sigh he released afterwards. 

“Fugk” He breathed out, his voice wavering. 

The afternoon sun beat down on Kaeya’s immobile body, but the man had no intention of getting up. It wasn’t worth it, he thought. It would be a total waste of the little energy he had.

Between shivers and the occasional cough and sneeze, the Captain found himself constantly dozing, nodding off to hazy dreams that he immediately forgot each time he jumped awake.

“h…HaATCHeEw! IhScHTCHEW! hah-Ksh!shAaTCHEew!” Kaeya was shaken awake once more by an irritating sneezing fit that tore through his burning sinuses with a ruthless passion. Of course, the fit caught him unaware, and he was ultimately sneezing into the area in front of him, crystal flies that often congregated in this area frightened by the sudden noise and departing to higher ground.

One glance to the sky above him was alarming, the sky nearly pitch black albeit dimly lit by the moonlight and the scattered fires from campsites. He’d been asleep all day?...unlikely. And yet, it had happened. Maybe he was sicker than he’d initially thought-

But that wouldn’t stop him.

Kaeya came to a consensus, at last standing up against his shaky legs, bracing against the tree he slept upon mere minutes before. He took a stroll back to the city, the cold autumn breeze shaking his already sick, shivering body.

A drink. A drink would do him good.

And so he’d found himself turning(whether from habit or an unconscious urge to seek help), to the entrance of the Angel’s share.

Through the cracks of the door one could observe the warm, orange-tinted light that crept through, lighting the outside tables which were all deserted, possibly due to the chilled weather. 

Upon entering, the light beat against Kaeya’s face, and forced him to flinch back with a hiss. He brought a hand to cover his eyes, seeking shelter in a shady corner that was relatively unoccupied. 

The cavalry captain plopped onto a seat and rubbed at his temples. This is hell.

“Huuh…hUKSHGT!”

A sneeze wracked Kaeya’s frame, catching him unaware yet again.

“...Bless you” A familiar voice caught the bluenette’s attention, bringing his eyes up to the person accountable, only to be met with fiery red hair pulled into a tight, high ponytail and a face painted with a blank expression(and was that a slight twinge of concern? Unlikely, given the man who was talking-but maybe…), with his arms crossed over his chest. “I’m afraid we do not desire the sickly in this establishment. You may see yourself out and to bed in your own home”. DIluc spoke, his voice ever monotone. 

Kaeya responded with a breath of a laugh and a silent sniffle. “M’afraid this is just a break. I’ll be on my way to the headquarters as soon as the urge hits me”. Diluc regarded the sentence as nothing more nor nothing less than another promise backed by nothing at all. He huffs to himself and turns around, seeing two more customers before returning to the counter and preparing a slew of drinks.

Kaeya saw himself back to the table he’d already been moping upon, and lowered his head onto his arms. A flurry of memories swarmed by him in what felt like a moment of unconsciousness, dreams of his family-his old one, that is-embracing him in the colder weather, their arms wrapped around him in a protective shell. Would he ever feel that way again? Adelinde’s cooking, him and his- ‘brother’ playing amongst the vineyards with no care in the world. And then-his birthday, at the end of November, the people of Mondstadt busily decorating for the end of year festivities-When Diluc, Crepus and Adelinde would sit him down for a feast, followed by a highly decorated cake to celebrate. Unfortunately, they’d almost never eaten it by the end of the night.

.

An overwhelming feeling of moisture suddenly assaulted his cheeks, and had him raising his eyes to meet the assailant. 

The target was steam, emanating from a mug that was recently placed before him. And, to the captain’s surprise, the culprit stood over his immobile body with a hand hesitantly hovering just over Kaeya’s head.

Kaeya’s vision was terribly hazy with possible fever, so he’d barely processed that the figure above him was checking on him until a clammy hand felt beneath his bangs and pressed comfortably against his forehead. 

“Mmf…” Was all the protest that the captain could manage against his rapidly declining health. “Sh. I swear, he’s too stubborn-” another voice pipes in, and then a flurry of voices warp in and out his ears. It would seem the whole bar was now aware of the captain’s predicament, and while anything audible swam together and melded in his head, he was sort of glad he wasn’t in the correct state of mind. And perhaps you can finally rest.

Alas, every voice and color he’d been exposed to mere seconds before swirled before him, grabbing and clawing each and every thread of light until everything flooded into darkness.

“...He’s out”.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

November 30th. The day his brother was supposedly born.

Almost twenty years ago, a young boy soaked in the summer rains appeared on their doorstep, one eye carefully hidden from view and his frail, scrawny body covered in a dark cloak. 

The young child remained silent the first few weeks, hiding in his dedicated bedroom while Adelinde took it upon herself to bring him food and water. Crepus, their father, then started to sit with him while he moped. And after a while, at last, the two boys were introduced to one another. Diluc was elated that he at last had a new playmate, but Kaeya hardly shared the sentiment at first. It took him a while, but soon Kaeya had adjusted to the family, and they all lived as strangely as they’d met and been acquainted, but it was a peaceful life.

It was a happy life. 

And it was strange, how the scene before him felt so strangely reminiscent of those past memories. Kaeya lay in his bedroom once again, his chest rising and falling unevenly while he slept off the illness that inflicted him. His cheeks were flushed from fever, his nose red and chapped by the awful sinus trouble he seemed to be undergoing.

Adelinde came in and out, often to hand feed him soup or help him drink tea and take medication. Jean and Barbara would visit every now and again to ‘observe his condition’, and even Klee and Albedo came to see him once. 

“You idiot”. Diluc muttered to himself. It had been three days now, since Kaeya staggered into his bar sick as a dog and collapsed upon a table. Diluc had meant to wish him a happy birthday in a subtle way, a free drink and perhaps treat him to a meal; what he hadn’t expected was for his… “brother”(?) to be ill, seemingly forgetting to care for himself despite the ongoing colder months and the wet weather; Diluc then placed a mug of hot cider before Kaeya’s seemingly resting body, leaning over to check his temperature. He was clearly burning up, and his constant sniffling and ragged breaths confirmed the other’s suspicions.

 Evidently, Diluc wasn’t the only person who shared the sentiment of surprising the cavalry captain with a gift at the end of the day, a rather sizable group approaching the two. The group consisted of the knights and various others of Kaeya’s acquaintances, but barely four feet from the blue haired man they were stopped. Diluc met Jean’s eyes and hesitantly shook his head. “Something isn’t right with him. Chances are he doesn’t even remember it’s his birthday” The redhead crossed his arms, gesturing for Jean to approach the table. She knelt over and whispered to him, finally rising and nodding to Diluc. “He's out. Get him home. Everyone, leave your gifts to me, I promise he will receive them”.

…

He did get them, by definition. The various packages were placed upon the table beside Kaeya’s bed-albeit the perishables(some gifts were neatly wrapped candies and others were miniatures cakes, a couple bottles of wine, etc). 

“hh…hiHSCTHEW!” Kaeya suddenly sneezed roughly, a string of breathless coughs wracking his body while the redhead’s thoughts were interrupted and discarded into the past.

“Bless you”. Diluc sighed, knowing he spoke to no one but the empty room. Force of habit, he supposed.

“Thagks” A congested, nasally voice responded. Diluc jumped at the response, observing his brother’s face a little closer. Kaeya was now awake, but apparently very irritated. “Why am I here?” He snapped, eyes screwing shut. 

“Take a guess”. Diluc retorted, copying the other’s attitude. 

“No, i gh-get it. Get being in a bed’n all. bh-KsTCH!” Kaeya attempted to swallow back the sneeze, but ultimately failed, a fist smashing against his nose with an awkward stifle. “Guh. Why m’ I not in my home?” That stung a bit. It shouldn’t have, given how Diluc was the reason the younger felt this way. He hurt him and cast him out, constantly turning back and prodding the brand he’d seared upon Kaeya’s face, every attempt he’d made to reconcile venomously turned down by the redhead in a petty rage. 

“...I’m afraid-I do not know where your current residence presides”. Diluc quietly responded after a moment. 

“Huh-KShgt! KgsHt! Ugh-fugk!” Kaeya huffed in frustration, attempting to stand up. 

Now Diluc was on his feet, grabbing Kaeya’s shoulders and pushing him back onto his bed. Kaeya struggled in his grasp, face rapidly growing more and more red, the flush reaching even to his ears. The blue-haired man twisted to the side now, and then continued in his attempts to get his older brother off of him.  “Let-Let me go”. He tried, his voice weak as he was ultimately wrestled back into place. Diluc huffed, trying to catch his breath while Kaeya’s body stilled in defeat. “You will not leave until you are fully healed of your ailment. I will take it upon myself to achieve this goal-To take care of you, Kaeya. I won’t abandon you again. Kae-” 

a tear ran down Kaeya’s cheek, his lip wobbling. Whether it was the fever, the regret, the overwhelming feeling of weakness and defeat-It was difficult to decipher which, if not all of these factors resulted in his state. Diluc felt a new sense of duty, the day before he’d realized it was soon to be Kaeya’s birthday. They were getting older, weren’t they? And what was the reason for them to remain in this constant state of sidestepping one another at each and every turn, when it would seemingly bring them no closer to the goal of reconciliation? 

“h…’Luc-” Kaeya’s eyes fluttered close, his chest rising with every breath he took, swiftly and violently turning his head to the side and burying his face into the pillow that lay there, and-

“Huh-HSCHtX! HSTCH-guh, w-huh? Hih! ESCHT! gHTCH! kHSTCHew!” Kaeya stifled the oncoming fit, and after a while he pulled away from the now violated, soaked pillow. 

“Damn-I’b sorry” he managed, his muscles releasing as he melted into the blankets. 

“...Bless you”. Diluc paused. “But also, gross”. He jumped down from the bed, removing the contaminated pillow and tossing it into a nearby laundry bin. 

“Bh-bnot my fault”. Kaeya replied, offended. “I understand this. Gods…I’ve forgotten how dramatic sick Kaeya is”. Diluc laughed, retaking his seat at the other’s side.

“hip!-ISTCH!” Kaeya stifled again, groaning miserably afterwards. 

“Bless you. Hey-how long have you been ill?” Diluc leaned backwards, his query meant to break the awkwardness that settled between the two.

“I don’t b’know”. Was all he could reply.

The silence stretched between them, finally broken once again by Diluc. “I-I’m sorry”. 

This surprised Kaeya, the man turning to the other. "What for?" He managed at last.

"Everything. I know, it isn't enough- 'enough' would take years to achieve, it would take extensive talking and the like-Archons, I'm bad at this-". Diluc replied, trailing off in the end with awkwardness.

"No, I get it. You wish to bh-be brothers again?".

"Correct" Diluc tried a small smile, and Kaeya reciprocated a slightly larger one, dimmed only by the suppression of his bodily functions.

"Well. It's wh...HSHgt! Kshgt!-snf! guh...worth a shot, I think".

And so the two conversed, and for the first time in long while, Kaeya felt hopeful.