#team manic minions

[lilkittygirleee]

Guys I have a new Saiki AU

This originally started as a silly little thought and then expanded to a full blown Saiki K AU 

PK Academy x American HS AU

Basically, I was like “The fact that there is a school in japan that is just full of common Anime character tropes could mean that there is an American school just full of common character tropes in American movies”

And then I was like, “What if these two schools met”

Then I locked in and got to work.

I’m not sure yet why a school all the way in America is coming into a random ass school in Japan but y'know.

Brooklyn; the “Manic Pixie dream girl”: She represents the Manic Pixie dream girl trope and has hair that she dyes every month and she usually uses bright bold colors. Wears Alt fashion (I haven’t decided which one yet) and she's “not like other girls” “Quirky” and “different”.

Her and Teruhashi are good friends. They became friends when Teruhashi helped her after the popular girls were bullying her. Kokomi’s beauty doesn’t work on Brooklyn but she still hangs around her because she genuinely likes Teru and thinks she's kind and has a nice personality. 

Teruhashi looks up to Brooklyn for being so unbothered. Brook doesn’t care what others think and is just herself. Meanwhile Kokomi has to constantly be something she isn’t and doesn’t get to be herself. So she admires Brook for that. 

Also, the fact that Brook isn’t attracted to Kokomis beauty but still genuinely just likes hanging out around her for her throws Teruhashi off because her whole life people have only been around her because she was pretty and nothing more. But Brook just likes to be her friend??? What???

Sara; the ‘Mean girl’- You know this trope, the blonde rich spoiled popular girl who likes to bully others. The Regina George’s and Sharpay Evans’ of the world. She also is a cheerleader! (or I guess ‘was’ now because I’m pretty sure Japan doesn’t have cheerleaders) 

She and her ‘minions’ went to be friends with Teruhashi (because duh, she’s the popular girl of PK) and even at the start Teru got weird vibes from them and when they started openly bullying some other kids at their school that's when Teru was like “Oh no! This is ruining my kind girl image! Now people will hate me! I need to fix this” she then helps the bullied girl and distances herself away from the two girls.

Brad; The ‘dumb Jock’-Dumb blonde jock who is head over heels for the popular girl (Sara). Obviously, he (was) on the football team.

Brad is always riling up Kuboyasu (and getting his ass beat by him too ☠️). And has taken to bullying Kaidou and sometimes Saiki. (Thanks to Saiki’s powers he’s able to avoid him most times). Imu (Getting choked by comphet (bless her poor soul 💔)) has convinced herself that she ‘likes’ Brad. 

Brad is still absolutely in love with Sara but after seeing Teruhashi he has seriously reconsidered.

Atlas; The “Invisible genius who’s actually a superhero or the chosen one (or some shit like that)”- I couldn’t choose between the ‘genius who’s invisible and secretly a superhero trope’ or the ‘chosen one trope’ and having both is kind of chaotic so I kind of just mixed the two. 

He’s a part of a prophecy from a random Greek myth. Saiki is a comedy anime so obviously the prophecy is not very serious but that doesn’t stop Atlas from taking it super seriously. He also has powers that he uses to fight the ‘villians’ that try to stop him from fulfilling his prophecy. To fight these villains he has a superhero alter ego. (I still need to ponder on what the prophecy is, his powers, and the ‘villains’ ask me later)

He is friends with Kuboyasu, Kaidou, Aiura, and Toritsuka. He feels guilty whenever he talks to them because they are trusting him with all these important secrets (Aren being an ex gang member, Kaidou being the Jet Black Wings, Aiura and Tori being psychics) but he still hasn’t told them his secret yet. He’s still conflicted on this subject. 

Saiki avoids him and told (threatened) Aiura and Toritsuka not to tell him about how Saiki is a psychic too.  Akechi (being the little Sherlock that he is) was able to easily find out about Atlas’ true nature. Akechi’s fast speaking already scared Atlas, but now that he knows about the prophecy, this has given Atlas more of a reason to avoid him. (Even though Akechi promised not to tell a soul).

Gabi; The ‘Damsel In Distress’- Fair skin, blue eyes, strawberry blonde, the model princess. She’s always getting into danger (because of the villains that keep chasing Atlas) and Atlas always has to come get her and save her (in his superhero alter ego obviously). Gabi has feelings for both Atlas and his alter ego. She already felt bad about having a crush on two guys but when she got to PK and saw Saiki… yeah. 

Because of the prophecy it’s obvious that Gabi and Atlas are supposed to get together so Saiki’s very existence is kind of bending reality right now, but that’s Saiki’s daily life so I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Chiyo and Gabi are really close friends.

Benson; The ‘Geek’ - He’s the nerdy guy at the back of the class who no one talks to and looks like Jeffrey from Class of 09.

He hates Sara for ‘breaking his heart’ and is very much an incel (eww ew ew). Toritsuka tried to befriend him for their shared love of lusting over women but the way Benson talked immediately made even Tori uneasy. He’s very creepy towards Teru (even more than Tori) and has tried to get pictures of her when she isn’t looking. Saiki and Aiura try their best to protect Teru from him. (I’m not glorifying people like him, he’s supposed to be the scum of the earth that you want to die)

Mostly everyone in the school hates him (even Tori, because Benson’s like wayyy more weird and gross than him and it even makes Tori uncomfy).

Aiden; the ‘Bad boy’- He’s the bad boy, always getting in trouble and stuff (h-he… he even drives a motorcycle and smokes!1!!!1!!!🥺) Unlike Kuboyasu who is hiding his past and trying to change, Aiden just embraces it and is not changing at all. (There’s even a rumor that on his first day at PK he pulled out a knife at one of the teachers) 

Constantly fights with Aren (The fights are always a tie which is a surprise to both of them). Likes to tease the other guys at PK (aka just Saiki and Kaidou) for being “goody-two-shoes”. 

At first (when they were in the US) tried to swoon Gabi but once he went into PK and saw Teruhashi he decided that she was his new target. Also, did I forget to mention that he is rich? He is constantly trying to impress her with money or his ‘bad boy activities’. Teruhashi is not impressed at all, and she DOES NOT LIKE how he keeps calling her ‘princess’. 

Sorry this is so long I wanted to fully flesh out all the American High Schoolers HJKJSCDJNVJJD

I was gonna put art to go with this but I got really lazy and decided that I should just get my idea out there first and draw it later.

[beesmygod]

people on tumblr are only seeing a fraction of the amount of jojoposting ive been doing. who couldnt love the adventures of the joestar family

part 1: the only kind-hearted englishman on earth in the 1800s meets the most evil and most gay bitch in the entirety of human history. dio brando finally defeats jonathon joestar in their slowly escalating, lifelong sibling rivalry by becoming a vampire with an instant kill eyeball laser-beam. with the help of a solar powered italian and a homosexual in the midst of a manic episode, he narrowly defeats dio at the cost of his own life.

part 2: the manic homosexual (mr. robert e. o. speedwagon), dedicates the remainder of his life and oil speculation fortune on supporting the joestar family forever and ever, as well as destroying any remaining stone masks that turn you into vampires with instant kill eyeball laser-beams. his efforts awaken a crew of mysterious, powerful and very homosexual vampire god-men from the depths of the earth and it's up to jonathon's grandson, joseph joestar to use his hamon and wiles to stop them. he'll do whatever it takes, even and especially if he has to climb a big leaking pole while wearing a BDSM mask that controls his breathing.

part 3: dio's back, baby! and this time he's gayer than ever! joseph joestar, now in his 60s, recruits his autistic (positive) grandson jotaro kujo in his newest quest to make sure dio stays dead for good this time. his crack team of anti-dio experts is comprised of a frenchman who just wants to take a shit, joseph's personal buddy from egypt, a boston terrier that transforms into a chihuahua, and a high school teenager with more brains than everyone else combined. in a globe-trotting adventure, joseph joestar and da boyz use their "stands" (powerful dudes) to battle enemies with stands based on whatever horror movie araki watched recently and gather information before dio becomes too powerful and too gay to be stopped. a heartwarming story about a little boy who, after 47 episodes, finally says a badass one-liner.

part 4: jotaro kujo is cleaning up a big mess left by dio and his minions: a bunch of them went around firing magical arrows into people around the town of morioh and giving them stand powers. jotaro recruits the help of his 16 year old uncle (long story) josuke higashikata, at least 3 other teenagers and a gay bitch named kishibe rohan to help him clean up the town. however...a dark secret lurks in morioh...a murderous pervert with four fucking stands (?!) named yoshikage kira!!! can jotaro and da boyz stop this sadistic serial killer from living a peaceful life!? FUN FACT: this is the first piece of media to depict an italian as heroic

part 5: this is the one im on and im not finished yet, but i'm pretty sure it's just about the first ever they/them nonbinary mafia protecting the bosses' daughter. our protagonist, giorno giovanna, is the son of both dio and jonathon (long story) and he does not seem to understand what a mafia is or what it does. however, he tell his future capo that all he wants is to be a "GANG-STAR". he does not elaborate on this.

thats all i know dont tell me anything else. these are the most surface descriptions possible. when you get into details you can really get lost in the weeds.

[weatherman667]

Thirteenth Section

After chatting with @decreare I realized that Gandalf fulfills the same role in the story as Manic Pixie Dreamgirls.

And so, the question is, what role does the character have in your story?

And if they don't have a role, why are they in your story?

Individual characters can fulfill multiple roles, and it's important to do this, to keep them interesting when not focusing on their role.

Let's Nora Valkyrie. She has two primary roles in RWBY:

Jaune's Minion

Comic Relief

Yes, she's an absolutely wonderful character, but her role is as comic relief.

If you took Nora out of the context of being Jaune's sidekick, she would just be causing wanton destruction. And this is one of the things CRWBY failed when they wanted to give her a TragicBackstoryTM.

They wanted to turn her into a heroine with her own agency, because girl power, and...

They honestly seemed to forget that RWBY are the eponymous heroes. The show is literally named after them. They each had their own trailer showing them being uniquely heroic.

But why can't Nora be her own hero?!

Because she's a B-lister from a B-team.

But what if Nora wants to be the hero?!

She doesn't. She's a loveable orphan that found a family.

But, it's not like she got a daddy warbucks to adopt her?

No, but Nora grew up fighting the grim(m) creatures from your darkest nightmares, and likes hitting things with her hammer. Giving her a Little Orphan Annie ending is like keeping your cat locked in your apartment, and wondering why he keeps scratching the doors to get out. Even worse if you give that cat a two-handed maul.

Could Nora be an independent hero? Yes. Would she be happier that way? No. So, by making her an independent hero, all you are doing is torturing her for your own vanity.

RWBY (show) is explicitly designed as a Points of Light in the Darkness setting. The four kingdoms, the huntsmen academies, huntsmen in general, and the main characters in specific are the points of light in the setting. If those lights are snuffed out, you get Dark Souls.

This is getting into the Theme, of the story which is a different, but related, point.

One of the reasons I hated the introduction of Saphron and Terra into the setting is not because I hate them. They are actually wonderful characters. No the reason their introduction was idiotic is that the role they serve in the story is that of a hotel.

They current year it. Like Veilguard. They tip toe around on eggshells afraid of pissing off the woke crowd by having the insensitive dolt (Nora), ask where the lesbian baby came from.

We don't delve down into Jaune's history and upbringing. We don't pick up the trope of found family that RWBY is leaning so heavily on, that when they stop, the City of Atlas literally falls to the ground.

CRWBY decided to break up the found family, after crawling through broken glass to get RWBY back together again, and they do it for the sole point of short-term drama. Because fighting a morally ambiguous unkillable witch is apparently not enough drama for them. After we are literally told that the way to defeat Salem is through kindness.

Anyways, having Saphron and Terra there would be the perfect time to talk about Jaune's relationship with his family, and then lean into found family.

Let's say you are creating a party, and you want to add a demolitions expert. We're going to assume for the sake of assuming that you need a demolitions expert.

Why did he join?

What does he do when he's not blowing things up?

Is he comic relief? Is he a womanizer? Is he the strong, silent type that only talks when he absolutely needs to, and so the audience will know that when he finally speaks, it's important?

Let's say he's a womanizer. Does he hit on women he knows? Does he hit on party members? Their relatives? Does he hit on every woman he sees? Does he have a type that he will drop anything to hit on?

If he hits on party members, and she doesn't like it, it creates intra-party conflict, which is one way to make even the most banal moments interesting. Just like any RPG has Dwarf on Elf racism.

If he has a type, all you have to do is introduce his type, have them disappear, and the next day have him show up with that clue they were looking for.

But a character's role can also be more banal. In the Prime of His Youth, he surrounds himself with powerful, dynamic characters.

And Sirenia. She's basically a shy tumblr user trying to survive in the real world. She does not add any advantages. Her presence is still necessary, as having to care for her is what brought Jack out of his isolation and interact with the world(s).

You'll see this with any show that adds a little sister character. Okay, the world is ending, and you have the exact right set of high schoolers needed to save it. And the protagonist's kid sister. Having the kid sister means that every - single - thing the protagonist has to do has to resolve in way for him to care for her. Martyrdom is not going to suffice.

Hell, a great example is Bioshock: Infinite. There is a melee kill, but it's so brutal that Elizabeth is horrified of it. Most gamers stop using it to the point they forget about it. Yes, she's an all-powerful reality warper, but her role in the story is making someone who managed to get disgraced out of the PINKTERTONS a better person.

Or in Deadpool & Wolverine, where Professor X is such a great character that he stops Wolverine from killing, just by being disappointed.

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[phoenixyfriend]

Fake Sith TCW Trio

I have another fucked up time-travel AU! Who’s surprised? (Nobody.)

So like. Have you guys read that one fic where Luke and his students go back in time and pretend to be Sith Lords and are super hammy about it? (Sith Lord Swell by AMournfulHowlInTheNight)

This AU has contributions by @atagotiak, @the-lunar-system, @purronronner, @gelpenss, @creepingthroughthistidalwave, and @thisarenotarealblog.

I want TCW trio (plus Rex and Cody) to go back to several years pre-TPM and, since the Council DEFINITELY won't believe them about the Sith being back... they'll force the issue.

Anakin is weirdly excited about things and building up their backstory.

Anakin: Okay so I can definitely be a Maul type, with the unhinged ranting and manic laughter, Obi-Wan can be the whole Refined Rich Guy type like Dooku, where you can't even tell he's evil until he starts talking about getting out the eyeball scoops, maybe toss in a bit of mad science stuff? Ahsoka could play up like Ventress OR, oh oh, she can be the Light Side Child we need to PROTECT who's publicly begging us to return to the Light after our big dramatic Falls where we murdered like eighty people to save her, and-- Obi-Wan: Why are you never this enthusiastic about actual undercover missions. Ahsoka: Did you just have all this ready to go, or...? Anakin: WE COULD GET YELLOW CONTACT LENSES FOR ME.

Obi-Wan: How's my evil laugh?

Anakin going “Okay.. so if any of us need to murder someone to sell the bit it should be me, I think I could handle it the best. Why? No reason.”

Obi-Wan: I'm not sure a complete Fall could come from protecting Ahsoka, really-- Anakin: No, no, it could.

Obi-Wan: Surely you’d hold back because you realize neither of us want that for you. Anakin: Uh. Sure. Definitely.

Obi-Wan points out that none of them can channel the dark side to Prove they're Sith and Anakin just goes "Okay, give me like two seconds to stew in my negativity and--right, you can stop staring in horror, please."

Anakin rambles on that they can TOTALLY make the galaxy a better place while playing at being Sith! He's got a whole LIST of slave empires to "take over" and disassemble!

Anakin has a whole excited spiel about how EVIL soldiers and assistants are minions, in this case partly because Cody and Rex are too good at what they do to be mooks. Cody could pull off evil minion very well. Facial scar? Looks good in black? Quietly competent and sarcastic?

He also pushes for Obi-Wan to lounge in a fancy throne with a glass of wine while Anakin stalks the shadows and Ahsoka hangs out on the window ledge. The disaster lineage is dramatic, okay, Anakin’s just leaning into it, he’d appreciate it if everyone stopped looking at him like that.

Qui-Gon, surprisingly, ends up a skeptic about all of this. Everyone is freaking out about the Sith and he’s like “y’know I’m not even sure they’re darksiders.”

Some Jedi, possibly Qui-Gon for his conspiracy board, gets in a real risky situation and one of the Fake Sith saves them, but also panics and kinda drops character for a bit.

Jedi: You saved me! Why’d you do that? Anakin: I uh... just wanted the pleasure of killing you myself?

"You saved me. Why?" "Mmmm. Jedi." [walks away]

Qui-Gon: [trying to figure out what is up with these people semi-competently (from his perspective) pretending to be Sith] Dooku: [trying to protect Qui-Gon from Sith influence]

The gang is the most successful at pretending to be Sith to Dooku. Sure, they’re not gonna punish him for something he hasn’t done, but it’s not hard to act menacing and angry around him.

(They really do have so much fun irritating the heck out of Dooku. He hasn’t Fallen yet, but they want to keep an eye out.)

At some point, future Obi-Wan definitely drops that little tidbit of "What, you didn't think the Banites were the only Sith running around did you? You... didn't even know about the Banites. How... disappointing."

They REGULARLY use Ahsoka as an excuse to be marginally less terrible. They claim that if Ahsoka pouts, they stop. ‘Soka also uses them as an excuse for why she’s a lil feral. (To be fair, that one is accurate. She was already a lil feral before but it’s not like they did anything to stop it.) Ahsoka gets her "breaking into people's offices" jollies by bugging Nute Gunray's office.

The Jedi keep trying to Rescue Ahsoka.

Rex and Cody end up in real beskar, there's a whole Thing with Mandalore and Jango and Satine.

Obi-Wan is CONSISTENTLY worried about Anakin Falling for real, which... hey, at least he knows to be worried about Anakin Falling. Step up from canon, really.

Anakin is WAY too into killing the Hutts but like. It does... technically sell the bit.

Obi-Wan: Sure, I’m not sad that they’re dead, especially because we’re not connected to the Republic, so we don’t need to worry about starting a war and all that. But. Anakin is disturbingly cheerful about this. Rex: Wasn't he a Hutt slave? Obi-Wan: Well yes, but-- Rex: I'd kill Nala Se if I could get away with it.

Cody and Rex are very supportive of Anakin's murderous intentions.

Obi-Wan does understand anger, even killing someone in anger. Like Maul (the first time at least) and D’nar and a few others. All the same, like... y’know. The level of bloodthirst from the others is a little off-putting.

At one point, Anakin accidentally addresses young Obi-Wan by name, despite never having met before, and to cover it up, he... panic-flirts. He panics, and so he flirts, with young Obi-Wan.

(He will later blame this on old Obi-Wan, because he had to pick up the habit of flirting with the enemy from somewhere.)

Anakin vaguely implies that he's a wee bit obsessed with young Obi, and that the padawan should "get used to being the target of a dark-sider's interests," because he’s scrambling for Ominous Shit and, well, future Obi-Wan was pretty frequently a fixation point for darksiders, right?

The second he gets out, he just starts screaming into a bucket while Rex pats him on the back.

For the next however many terrible months, possibly years, he has to keep up the act while having an ongoing meltdown about how That's My Dad As A Twenty-Something.

(It doesn't help that young Obi-Wan reflexively flirted back.)

Old Obi-Wan, meanwhile, is just very "you dug this hole yourself, padawan."

There is an argument at the beginning about Obi-Wan’s outfit. If he’s gonna be a Sith, he can’t just go around in beige, but he’s like “I like this and it’s comfy.” Sure, he’s changed clothes for undercover stuff, but that’s always been temporary, y’know? He likes his beige.

We have a number of options.

My first instinct? Beige linen three piece suit, like a southern lawyer. "Now I may just be a simple Outer Rim force adept--"

And, of course, you can TOTALLY make the beige sinister: he’s impersonating a Jedi! Jedi impersonation would also explain why nobody has a red saber.

“Sure is good that the Jedi don’t seem to realize most of the galaxy doesn’t know red sabers are different and bad.” “Shhhh, stop poking holes in our story where a Jedi might overhear.”

Like.... if you do enough doublethink, it works! How would a Sith hide? In plain sight. Also, it’s a GREAT way (if they were actually assholes) to try to slander the Jedi name.

(Anakin and Ahsoka still think he could stand to put a little more effort in. Add a splash of color, for pity's sake!)

Though tbh part of me is like “What if Old Obi wore, like... a split skirt suit...” Victorian womenswear inspired because he misses his robes, but he has to look Professional, and like he's MOCKING Jedi instead of BEING one, so he wears a vintage-y split skirt thing over his leggings. Ends up looking a lot like what Ventress had for a while, but Beige. I also keep wanting to put him regency menswear.

Anyway. Obi-Wan’s wardrobe aside...

Anakin builds up his Tatoo accent again. It helps him with the (mostly true) "slavery helped me fall" backstory.

Either Cody or Rex offhandedly mentions being made to serve them (the Fake Sith) and now the Jedi are somewhat concerned about brainwashing. Are these Mandos the victims here?

“No like. Literally made for this. In a lab.” This is even more horrifying. So...

On the one hand good! The Jedi should be scared about Sith! On the other hand... it makes the Jedi more determined to stop them, specifically. They keep on getting in the way, just, all the time, and they’re not investigating the actual Sith problem, which is decidedly not great since the Team doesn’t actually know who’s a real Sith right now, except Maul, and who even knows where that guy is.

Obi-Wan, at some point: Do you think we've succeeded at this ruse... a little TOO well? Anakin: I don't follow. Obi-Wan, gesturing at the truly obnoxious amount of wealth they've collected, including "trophies" of their kills: Really? Because I'm a little worried! Anakin, planning out a battle to take on Nar Shadda: ...I'm not.

"How many people do we realistically we need to take over Hutt Space? Apparently... five."

(Mostly because Anakin is ridiculously op.)

ANAKIN AND YOUNG OBI GET KIDNAPPED BY PIRATES TOGETHER. It's tradition.

Anakin: Okay, so, I need to get really angry about something to pass as a Sith... time to think about my WIFE and how I'll NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

Since Anakin’s life never goes as planned... this does not work. Instead of getting properly angry, he makes himself sad. There are tears. There is wailing. There’s a distraught rant or two. Young Obi ends up awkwardly trying to comfort him.

“Oh no, this… Sith?? Is crying on me. What do I do???”

Later on, when the Council wants intel: "So... one of the Sith cried on me about his wife. I think she's dead? He wasn't very clear about it but it, uh... it sounded like it might have contributed to his Fall. Also the relationship was a little unhealthy? He basically worshiped the ground she walked on and kept ranting about how he would have given her the galaxy on a platinum platter of she'd only asked, but that might be new and inspired by the Dark."

One of the random Jedi is REALLY good at detecting the truth Through The Force, and asks Anakin how he Fell...

Anakin just. Tells the Tuskens story.

They don't get pinged as lying, but oh boy does old Obi have a LOT of questions for Anakin once they're in private.

There are other things happening to help sell the ruse. Some of them are necessary! Some of them are... not.

Obi-Wan: What's the best way to show we're rich and kind of evil, but like... classy about it? Anakin, immediately: I sit on the floor next to the throne, leaning against it, and you call me pet names while stroking my hair, and then when you need something killed I get to do it for you and then I go back to the floor and you thank me for the directed violence, and then you go back to Negotiations with criminals while I’m sitting there covered in blood. Obi-Wan: ...is there something you want to TELL us, or...?

"You're all going to get a glimpse of something normally kept hidden about me." "Anakin, you don't have to do that." "No, I'm gonna."

(Anakin has decided hes going to peel his kink tomato to sell this ruse, and the others are slightly uncomfortable with that.)

Anakin: Okay, I cannot keep flirting with you. Young Obi: Wait, what? But that's the best part of any time we run into you! Anakin: You look WAY too much like my Master did when I met him. Obi: O...kay? If someone looked like my master when HE was young, I'd-- Anakin: My Sith Master half-raised me. He's basically my dad. Obi: ... Anakin: What's that look for? Obi: I mean, you spend a lot of time lounging at his feet, and, like, given how much you hate slavery, I... kind of assumed it was a kink thing? Anakin, brightly: Oh no, I just have a LOT of trauma. And neuroses. Snips says they’re neuroses.

Young Obi is a little upset because he was actually getting REALLY into Flirting With The Enemy and was hoping it would go somewhere. He mopes to Qui-Gon about it. Qui-Gon isn't sure whether to be proud about Obi breaking rules, or worried over Obi-Wan falling for a Fake Sith.

(As Tia put it: "You enjoy making young Obi-Wan have a completely unrequited crush on Anakin, don’t you?")

Fortunately, one of those attractive Young Mando boys very kindly helped him tape up his ribs this one time, and has thus caught his eye...

I feel like having Cody date Young Obi would court an entirely different kind of (internet) drama because clone ages, but whatever.

Also please imagine an element of "so I'm dating the genetic identical of my boss... who's dating the man I'm a genetic identical of..."

(It's probably not actually Jangobi but man would that be funny and also stupid.)

Somehow Young Obi figures out that the "Sith Master" is a future him before he realizes that they're not actually dark. In his defense, Anakin was pretty convincing. Especially with the wife rant. It makes HIM more obsessed with Anakin, in a reversal of the implied earlier dynamic, which is all kinds of weird. Less romantic but like. Still weird.

"Future Me Scares Me" with Extra stupid. "Future Me Annoys Me." "Future Me acts like grandmaster Dooku, but more sass." "Future Me raised a really hot evil guy that refuses to bang Present Me." "Future Me might be a Sith, but I'm getting more and more convinced he's just fucking with us all." "Future Me is really rocking that beard, and I can't BELIEVE we figured out a way around the babyface."

"I’m kinda concerned about the whole evil thing, but I’m also glad that I know I’ll stay hot as I get older."

Quinlan approves of the priorities.

Also a lot of interactions with older Obi are very Anakin: [does/says something deeply unhinged] Obi-Wan: So, do you want to…. Talk about that? Maybe? Anakin: What’s there to talk about?? I’m fine, everything’s fine! Anyways how about those plans for tracking down Maul?

Anakin later, like way after the ruse is lifted, just blankly tells everyone that he did Fall, once, and Older Obi made him get therapy about it after the truth came out between the two of them a few months into the Fake Sith thing.

Where'd they find a therapist? I'm sure there's one SOMEWHERE around. Denon and Herdessa are close enough, and they've done enough "your criminal empire now belongs to me" that they can pay well. They make sure to find one that takes confidentiality real seriously.

It's all very "we need some more time to unpack all that."

Therapy helps get Anakin to figure out Sheev’s whole deal. They don't necessarily figure out he’s a Sith from it, but they figure out he’s sketchy and they need to look into that more. Obi-Wan probably already thought he was sketchy, but the whole active gaslighting campaign was a little surprising. They realize that he kinda benefited a lot from a lot of Sith plots and they still probably don’t think he’s a Sith but Obi-Wan is definitely starting to think he’s working with one.

"Okay, we're already bugging Gunray, should we bug Palpatine just to be safe?"

They get away with a lot of slicing because Anakin is a technical genius from twenty years in the future.

The reasons they're so good at Taking Over Hutt Space: 1. They know parts of the future. 2. They have superpowers and FAR less reason to not use them, now that their actions aren't going to reflect on the Republic. 3. They have Cody and Rex, who are two of the greatest military minds in the galaxy, and know EXACTLY how to wage a war that covers a solid third of the galaxy, starting from a position of relative weakness. 4. Anakin's charisma is scary high, and his knowledge of slave culture means they gain a lot of trust from the people they free, and they just... keep acquiring volunteers for the army they didn't plan to have. Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do. He thinks they might have started a cult?

In his defense, Dooku sort of started a cult, and Komari got kidnapped by a cult, brainwashed into joining it properly, and then took it over as head figure of said cult. It's practically tradition!

Comics Vader is the central figure of like three different cults, it was really just inevitable.

Anakin: Aw, don't worry master, it's not a cult, it's a revolution! Ahsoka: They're worshiping him, though. Anakin: ...it's still a revolution! Just... with some misunderstandings.

Also, if they got wind of people trying to keep people from being able to leave and other culty stuff like that, they’d probably put a stop to it pretty damn quick.

Names! Time for names. As per usual, it's easiest to keep track of Obi-Wan's alternate Older Self by just calling him Ben.

Darth Ben.

Ahsoka: You should be Darth Boring. Obi-Wan: I can still make you run laps, you know.

Anakin: The Force is telling me to call myself Darth Vader. Obi-Wan: ...why? Anakin: I dunno, but it sounds cool, I'll run with it.

Someone: Ben has all the answers; we shouldn’t question him, ever. Ben: One time I lost a planet, and a five-year-old found it for me.

More options: Going with the "evil word with the prefix 'in' chopped off" that we get with Sidious and Vader: Darth Surrectus (as in insurrection) Just random Latin words: Darth Temporus (time) Darth Commenticius (fake)

Anyway, back to Nonsense:

Maul goes after young Obi early, because the Fake Sith are really invested in this one random Padawan (Sidious is saying he might be a cousin of the false Sith Master? They do look similar enough) so someone needs to investigate. Naturally, Anakin shows up with some wild screeching to fight Maul, and when someone questions why he got involved it gets very "Kenobi is MINE!" and like. Okay. So.

Anakin means it in a very Sith "to toy with" and "to torture" way, or the ‘my chosen opponent!’ way, just the same kind of Obsession as Maul had with Obi-Wan in the original timeline. Unfortunately, Anakin’s a weird-ass person who flirts with Young Obi against his own better judgement, so there's some awkward "Like... your boyfriend?" from young Obi. Anakin just screeches in SOME emotion that nobody wants to interpret, and couldn't even if they wanted to, and starts whacking away at Maul again.

(Anakin hasn't explained the "you look exactly like my dad, sorry, it's just too weird" thing yet, and he is HAVING MANY REGRETS.)

There's definitely at least one instance where a person asks Anakin if he's planning on dating That One Jedi Twink, or at least banging out the tension. At that point in time, Anakin doesn't actually know who the fuck they're talking about, because "Obi-Wan + Twink = Does Not Compute" for dear, dense Ani, and instead he just ends up ranting about how he is LOYAL TO THE MEMORY OF HIS LATE WIFE, how DARE anyone so much as INSINUATE that he would TARNISH HER PERFECT MEMORY and UNWAVERING KINDNESS and WHOLESOME BEING, and the person who asked doesn't end up lightsabered but they do end up with a LOT to tell whoever they're reporting to.

Young Obi-Wan definitely hears Anakin mutter the phrase “something to discuss with my therapist later” a few times, and he’s a little bewildered because darksiders definitely don’t seem like the type of people to go to therapy. They’re the type of people to need therapy, sure, but not the type to go to therapy.

I think it would be very fun for Young Obi to continue sighing over Anakin (who's pretending to be fine with it and even flirting back because he's in too deep to stop and hasn't worked up the courage to explain the elephant in the room) while Anakin is covered in grease and infodumping while having a slightly manic hyperfocus on engine repairs while the two of them Somehow got stranded together in the middle of bumfuck nowhere (it's Plagueis's doing, he finds the interactions between THESE two in particular to be the most informative regarding the fake Sith).

Anakin, at some point while stranded with young Obi-Wan, and having actually started unpacking some stuff in therapy, though he’s def still got a ways to go: I’m pretty sure Ben cares about me. He acts like he cares, like he’ll do stuff like put extra blankets in my quarters in the spaceship because I get cold real easily or track down those droid parts I need for a project and he always has my back in a fight but y’know it’d be nice to hear him say he loves me once in a while. Especially because we kinda had a rough start and idk I don’t think he wanted me around at first.

And uh. Obi-Wan definitely relates to that a bit too much, y’know?

I want to say that Young Obi ends up mentioning All That to one of the clones or Ahsoka later, because they seem probably invested in Anakin's well-being, even if Ben is, well, a Sith, so Obi-Wan's a little worried the man's affection really is fake, but at least Ahsoka...

(Ironic, given what Anakin's actual eventual Sith would-be-Master was like.)

Young Obi mentions Anakin’s most recent rant to Ahsoka, and she just goes "Wait, is that why Skyguy likes to sit by the throne and get called pet names?" "Uh... I don't... know... but it sounds like all of you have a LOT to unpack there, Miss Apprentice."

Later on: "Master Kenobi, you need to tell Skyguy you love him 'cause apparently he's been having a lot of emotions about you not telling him you care and he's been talking to mini-you about it whenever they get stuck together and--"

Young Obi-Wan is just constantly the "Now we don't have time to unpack all of that" John Mulaney gif. Anakin in particular is a mess, and young Obi-Wan slowly goes from "I want to date that" to "I want to study that" about him.

Obi-Wan gets stuck somewhere with Ben, tries to small talk, gets on the topic of Vader, and spills the drama. He gets an awkward “Thank you for bringing that to my attention.”

It’s followed by a fairly frustrated “I try, but Anakin refuses to communicate his needs to me, and it feels like I’m always falling short.”

At least one member of the group is in therapy, probably all of them, but they’re still using young Obi as a sounding board for all this stuff. On the bright side, this is probably good for impressing the importance of good communication on Obi-Wan.

Good for Obi-Wan! And... whatever Padawan he eventually has.

As for baby Anakin, who is approximately age four, I want to go with "Anakin decides to be his own uncle, and Shmi just rolls with it because fuck it, she’s not a slave anymore, and a Fake Sith is a solid defense against anyone trying to re-enslave them."

[This is a backstory I've had them use before (see here and here).]

Seeing Big Ani and Little Ani in the same space might be what finally pings the "oh shit, that's future me" thing for Obi-Wan... you know, if he’s ever allowed close enough to see Little Ani in the first place.

Little Ani stays with the fake-Sith and is sorta jointly trained by all of them, and young Obi-Wan teaches little 'Soka at the Temple. Ani and 'Soka still end up friends somehow, but it is fairly different.

Every time little Ani addresses Old Obi as "Dad," it's just like ten kinds of awkward. The one time someone tried to explain that Ben wasn't his new dad, Shmi glared them down. She is of the opinion that, all the gods be damned, Ani deserves to refer to the most mature man in his life, who raised another him in another timeline already, as a father.

Ani doesn't NEED a father, Shmi herself is more than enough, but he does deserve to have this if he wants it.

An alternative conclusion to the time travel is uh. So the Mandalorians are genetically identical (give or take a hair gene) and really resemble Jango Fett, though whether anyone notices that is up in the air. Then the three ‘Sith’ (two fake Sith and their morality chain tag-along) have three younger, identical copies show up….

It could be really weird cloning shenanigans. Now, it makes no sense that they’d make clones, and stagger their production like that, and leave them as babies on various planets for Jedi to find. IDK what reasons Obi-Wan would come up with for that, but it’s a fun little detour before he gets to time travel.

There's a really painful moment (for the audience, who know about canon Vader) where someone tries to convince Ahsoka to leave the Sith and she's just like "no way, they'd never hurt me!” Then she clarifies that “someone has to keep them from doing stupid Sith shit whenever they get bored, you know?"

A bunch of Jedi probably think she’s delusional, but the few that have seen her get into trouble that is legitimately too much for her, which isn't often, have then seen Anakin show up like the devil himself to save her, and it's like. Oh. This is why she isn't scared of them hurting her.

We’ve discussed how Anakin does get concerningly in character with the fake Sith thing. However, Anakin and Ahsoka are, just once in a while, surprised by how Ben gets sometimes when playing the bad guy.

After all, he stabbed a dude with a fork and threatened to eat him during his time as Hardeen…

He has the same dramatic streak as all the rest of the lineage. He can be vindictive and creepy and scary as fuck.

HOWEVER:

Obi-Wan: I know I'm supposed to be playing at evil right now, but how do we feel about me making that evil a little... fruity? Ahsoka: Fruity, master? Anakin, who knows where this is going: [buries face in hands] Obi-Wan: You know, the... [limp wrist] Ahsoka: ... Obi-Wan: I mean, I'm already bisexual and well-groomed, I can play it up.

What’s the point of being evil if you can’t be flamboyant?

Anyway, I had to put in a lot of thought for what to do with Rex and Cody, because there's a solid place for them in terms of strategy, but it doesn't do much to give them independent narrative arcs, and 'young Obi-Wan has a crush' isn't much of an arc, you know?

So, basic info first: Cody, Rex, and Anakin all hold the rank of General in this AU because, like... who else is gonna. Ahsoka remains a commander because everyone declares her Baby, and also to keep up the "I'm a morality chain" ruse.

Cody maintains a very stern and unyielding public persona, but the second they're behind closed doors, he's roughhousing with his little brother.

Rex has some fun pretending to be a sadist whenever he and Anakin have to team up, because hamming it up as an evil bastard in front of Jedi is actually really fun... but usually, he's a competent fucking professional.

Because here's the thing: someone has to be.

They both kind of hate the army they've gotten, because these people don't even have proper trigger discipline, let alone any actual discipline.

This army? Tragic. They hate it. Give them the clones.

They have to be drill sergeants for months before they have anything worth sending onto the field.

I think that might be how/when they end up reaching out to Jango. Like, the first inroad is absolutely "we're your clones from the future and you were a Shit Dad so you owe us," but then they actually talk him around into letting the Fake Sith hire him. He brings along all the Mandalorians he can get to answer his calls, and on suggestion from Those Mando Twins, joins the army Ben doesn't even want.

Darth Boring doesn't want an army! Unfortunately, Cody thinks that's stupid as hell, and is overruling Ben so they can actually work on this 'cleaning up the galaxy of slavery' thing with actual resources.

Cody and Rex are super competent, and it shows in their horrified disdain for the state of their troops.

Rex: Fucking natborns. Anyone who isn't in the know: What's a natborn? Rex: [leaves without answering] People: WHAT'S A NATBORN???

(I'm assuming that the word smush is harder to parse in Basic.)

I think young Obi-Wan's new crush on Cody should also be unrequited. Cody's just like... bemused. Very "Okay, then, that sure is an Affection you've decided on."

Cody and Anakin both: Sorry, it’d just be too weird. Obi-Wan: Why would it be too weird? Cody and Anakin: Reasons.

Rex has to deal with the "whyyyyy" from both his brother and his (former?) General.

Young Obi-Wan just likes cute boys that fight good! Is that so wrong???

Ahsoka: So since we're not officially Jedi anymore-- Obi-Wan: We're still Je-- Ahsoka: Can we date? Can I date now? I want to date someone before we go back to the Code. It's a classic life experience for most teenage girls, and I want to Have That Experience before we're back at the Temple. Obi-Wan: You're not... you can date, Ahsoka, that's not actually banned by the Code. I mean, you'd have to keep it casual, but-- Ahsoka: I CAN DATE!!!

(Great priorities, Ahsoka.)

An idea I'm toying with is that one of the clones ends up Legally Engaged to Satine for political reasons, and young Obi-Wan is just like ???? because not only can he not date the hot boys, but one of said hot boys has become Mr. Steal Yo Girl.

Young Obi-Wan is suffering, and Quinlan is the worst friend ever because Quinlan is laughing at him.

There is obviously the question of

"How would Satine ever end up agreeing to that, given what their public personas are like and all that? She puts duty ahead of personal feelings but all indications are that it’s a terrible decision both ways." (as stated by Tia)

Which, yes, I forgot to actually say that I was imagining Jango had declared "those twins" his heirs after telling people they were his younger* cousins. Because reasons.

* Jango is about 27 when they land in the past, and I’m going to say the accelerated aging ended after hitting physically twenty because no, I don’t want to deal with that. As far as anyone knows, Cody and Rex are about five years younger than Jango. They’re less than year apart, which isn’t very visible, and most people assume they’re identical twins (except Rex’s hair), and that Cody just looks slightly older because of the scar.

Darth Boring had convinced Satine that the way to keeping Mandalore peaceful was to work with Jango (because Darth Boring, which is not his actual title but it is what Ahsoka insists on calling him in private, has a vested interest in keeping Mandalore and all interested parties calm), and he... maybe accidentally set up a political marriage between her and one of the clones.

It wasn't on purpose! Satine never married in his timeline, okay, he didn't expect her to ever get married here, either! He didn't even suggest it! This just happened!

(I want to say that Cody would be more competent at having a political marriage? But IDK.)

Do I do the Satine thing? It has potential, but also it's a bit of a cop-out. Do I have Cody be a diplomatic representative for their pseudo-Sith empire? He could be, but I think he'd hate it. Do I have Rex date one the Chaos Entities (Anakin or Ahsoka), or is that too repetitive with my other works? THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON.

Part of me wants Quinlan to get a crush on Cody, and the crush gets bigger specifically in response to the fact that Cody refuses to take him seriously and/or just doesn't give him the time of day.

Based on their one interaction in TCW, they probably let get along ok. Cody maybe likes him back, buuuuuuut internally he's just a little "you were tolerable at almost-forty; early twenties you is obnoxious."

Just imagine the absolutely puppyish attempts at gaining approval and Impressing The Hot Mando General. Quinlan keeps having vague daydreams of seducing someone to the side of the Light. He really leans into the bodice ripper fantasies of saving someone evil with the power of love! (And also the power of really good sex.)

Bant looks at Quin and Obi and wants to throw them both into the nearest pond because they're idiots, but on this topic they are the same flavor of idiot. She considers calling up Reeft and Garen to help her knock some sense into them.

Quinlan: Can I volunteer to go undercover to the Sith? The Council: No. Quinlan: ...what if I-- The Council: No.

Tholme tries to get Qui-Gon to commiserate over their Padawans getting obsessed with Hot Sith Boys, but Qui-Gon just finds the whole thing funny. He knows from the chats he has with Ben that Anakin feels so completely, utterly, incredibly awkward about all of this.

(Ben continues to hold to "Anakin brought this on himself.")

(Ben also “kidnaps” Qui-Gon a lot.)

Also, hey, at least Quinlan isn’t actually into hot Sith boys! He’s into hot Sith minions which is... probably a step up. At least Cody’s not a Sith himself!

It's a step in some direction but Tholme has no idea which one.

(Quinlan sees Cody in dress uniform once and just keeps the mental image for Ages. It’s in his dreams. Sometimes said dreams overflow to Tholme via Force Mind Magic and Quinlan wakes up to someone smacking his face with a pillow.)

Arguably, Quin's also a lot more romantic about his crush than Obi-Wan is, in this case. Quinlan: I want to save him... Obi-Wan: Hey, hey, cute boy. Look at me. Let’s bang.

Cody: There are currently two future Jedi generals having some form of absurd romantic fixation in my direction. I don't know how to feel about this. Rex: Bed them. Cody: ...I'm not saying that's not eventually an option, but one of them is the younger Kenobi, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. Rex: Pat him on the head like a tooka and then bed his friend, it'll be funny.

I think the Quinlan thing and also general exasperation of leading an absolutely useless army can function pretty solidly as the basis for Cody, but I have another idea for Rex now.

Komari is currently brainwashed in a cult, yes? So.

I keep bouncing around back and forth on what to do with Rex, but part of me suddenly really likes the idea of, after Team Fake Sith finds and dissolves the cult (as one does), and takes Komari into custody (because she's dangerous and deeply unwell), Rex kind of ends up her touchstone to being a decent person. He’s not a morality chain, and it’s not really a redeemed-through-love thing, just This Is A Solid Dude who doesn't pity her or thinks she's irredeemable (however you choose to define such a thing), but actually relates to the kind of conditions living like that can involve, and just kind of...

I don’t know. I think Rex's arc in this AU could be very heavily grounded in something to the effect of "You're not the worst darksider I've met. You're not the only person who was in a cult. You're not even the only former Jedi I know that's committed awful, horrible crimes. My question is just this: What are you going to do moving forward?"

Later Anakin: Wait, who do we know that was in a cult? Rex: What did you think Kamino was?

(Rex isn't as chill as he'd like her to think, but he's trying, and she's fairly reliant on the Force to understand emotions, and is currently in nullifying cuffs, so he can bluff.)

Komari needs someone solid and dependable to rely on for at least conversation, and I think Rex needs to feel needed.

I’m not sure if it’d be romance or friendship, but I think there's a solid basis to work with, potentially.

Per Tia:

One thing about Rex and shipping is like. If you want to do Rexwalker again that's fine, but if you're worried about repetitiveness but still want to like. Ship him in a non-political-convenience way. Rexsoka here actually would be different than your other stuff.

I'm trying to figure out if I can make it work because Ahsoka thematically fits very much into a little sister shaped hole here? She feels younger than in other works, despite not actually being younger than she is in, say, Commander Buir. In those other fics, she has some time alone to function and prove herself independently of Anakin and Obi-Wan.

I usually pluck Ahsoka out at sixteen if I'm pulling her from TCW, so she's got most of her competence but hasn't gotten quite all the trauma yet. Commander Buir, in particular, also has baby-shaped Anakin for contrast.

That said, I can see a decent source of narrative conflict in her wanting to experiment with romance and all that, and Anakin trying to tell her she's too young.

A year into this whole time-travel mess, she wants to give the dating thing a shot, and it spirals into "You were only two years older than me when you got married!"

I think I could build a plot out of Ahsoka wanting to do these things, and Anakin as an audience insert not quite processing that she's old enough to make these decisions. If she's choosing to date Rex, whose age works out as being close to hers when one takes into account Kamino fuckery, and whom she trusts absolutely, it’s arguably extra weird for Anakin to be upset with it.

"Senator Amidala was five years older than you, and you married her when you were nineteen and had only really known her for a week! I can go on a date with a guy we both know is one of the most trustworthy people alive if I want, Skyguy!"

I can definitely see Ahsoka getting annoyed with Anakin being overbearing and controlling at some point before that unrelated to romance, too. It’s not exactly a new fault of his.

My god, just imagine someone snidely asking Anakin "where's your little shadow?" and Anakin, being Himself and also a Fake Sith, has an emotional breakdown about how Ahsoka yelled at him for micromanaging her and not trusting her to make her own decisions in life and so she got herself a multi-month solo mission from Ben that Anakin isn't allowed to know any details about, and--

It's another one of those "oh, you have PROBLEMS problems with your mental health" incidents for the Jedi to add to the file, because Anakin having emotionally charged rants about his issues at seemingly terrible times is how they get a lot of information.

Some of the rants are planned.

Many of them, actually.

They want the Jedi to know these things.

Just, well. Anakin.

He really is a little Like That.

On that note, I'm low-key imagining that Anakin gets put on mood stabilizers by the therapist in this context, and he's doing good! He's handling his issues! He's--been captured with Obi-Wan the Younger again and his medication was confiscated.

Anakin is... not great. He's a little out of practice managing his unmedicated self, and when adding withdrawal symptoms onto that... poor Anakin.

(Poor Obi-Wan.)

I think it would be best if Anakin makes a bunch of ominous blustery comments at their captors about how they won't like what's coming to them if they take his belongings (AKA the fanny pack that has his backup pills), and then Obi-Wan just gets to watch Anakin get more and more erratic, because like. Yes, Anakin is using the Force to compensate, but unfortunately he's mostly cut off, and the stress of the situation is pushing him away from depression and into the beginnings of a manic episode.

Anakin is aware of his issues to the point where he's mostly managing, and he keeps asking Obi-Wan "would it make sense for me to [slightly deranged, very impulsive action]," and Obi-Wan realizes he's being the morality sounding board for the Hot Sith because ??? reasons?????

Eventually, Anakin does flop back in bed and dramatically throws his arm over his eyes, and says he needs his meds back, he's absolutely going to lose it, and Obi-Wan tentatively asks what kind of medication. There are levels to worry about. Mild allergy medication is one thing, but heart medication that needs to be taken every four hours is another, you know? He wants to know how much panic is appropriate.

Anakin lets him know that it's Psychiatric In Nature. Obi-Wan suddenly realizes that he really, really, really doesn't want to know what a properly erratic, unmedicated Anakin is like.

(An unmedicated Anakin really isn't nearly as bad as Obi-Wan fears. Anakin's been dealing with this for a while, and knows what his issues are and some of how to deal with them. He'd need to be running on no sleep and higher levels of stress, or to have been drugged with something meant to increase his aggression, to really lose his shit and do something worthy of Vader. RotS levels of stress and sleep deprivation is required to pull RotS levels of manic paranoid delusion.)

Tia asked:

How long does it take the Jedi in general to catch on to how like. They have opportunities. But these Sith never seem to harm any Jedi. And it’s not just like, the past timeline parts of the disaster lineage. They probably get opportunities to hurt other Jedi. Ones that are less skilled at saber work. And more importantly ones that they don’t seem weirdly interested in."

I'm not sure, really. The Jedi don't spend as much time in the Outer Rim as they could, and that's where the Team operates, so actually running into them by accident is unlikely for anyone other than Shadows.

Fortunately, it's really easy to toy with Shadows with the excuse of "I want to see how long it takes before you Fall with us."

I do want like... okay. Here’s the mental image:

Qui-Gon calls them out on being Fake Sith pretty quickly, so Ben just sort of eyes him, dramatically, and orders out "Leave us" to all non-team people. The threat of torture is implied but not stated. He gestures with wine to keep in character. He definitely makes sure Young Obi-Wan is ushered out, so it's just five time travelers, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Ahsoka's immortal force birb.

"...so, what's the reason for the farce, Obi-Wan?" "How in all the hells did you figure it out so quickly?"

(Qui-Gon cheated a bit. He could feel the broken training bond that was never properly severed due to Traumatic Death Of A Master on Ben's end)

Ben didn't realize he'd feel it! Young Obi-Wan can't feel his older self or a training bond with Anakin or Ahsoka, so why could Qui-Gon?

IDK if there would be anything on the level of crying and hugging it out, but I think it would be very funny if, every time young Obi and Anakin are getting captured by pirates or something, Ben and Qui-Gon are just having a nice afternoon tea and checking their watches to see if their respective walking bundles of neuroses are done with their adventure yet.

The Council is So Done, because Qui-Gon continues to insist that they're Not That Bad, but every time anyone other than Qui-Gon brings up the friendship, Ben laughs and makes a comment about how absolutely gullible Master Jinn is.

Obi-Wan is skeptical of his own experiences with Anakin, at least, if only because he's skeptical about Anakin's everything.

"I don't know if Vader is telling me the truth. I don't know if he's telling himself the truth. I don't think he's a great source of information even when he thinks he's being honest."

Anakin could tell Obi-Wan the full and complete truth, and Obi-Wan would worriedly put a hand to his forehead and start doing tests for hallucinations and paranoid delusions. In his defense, this is a very reasonable assumption to make with an individual like Anakin. It's just also not accurate, this time. I don’t know if Anakin hallucinates in canon without a weird inciting incident like Force Nonsense or getting drugged by the enemy, but paranoid delusion is pretty much all of RotS.

"I’m your time-traveling padawan who’s pretending to be a Sith to catch some other Sith who’re going to start a galactic civil war and those Mandalorians you like are from a clone army based on a template of Jango Fett made to serve the Jedi (because that’s totally something he’d sign up for), and one of the Sith is your grandmaster but he doesn’t seem to have fallen yet, it’s probably fine," is hard to believe.

Honestly, even if he seemed stable before saying that, which he doesn’t, it’s all real far fetched. There's a lot going on and Obi-Wan wouldn't even begin to believe it without evidence.

I've had it in my head that he and Bant and Quinlan have been gossiping about the mess for months if not years about these idiots, and at one point it became common knowledge that Ben was a Kenobi, and Bant convinced them (since the two were among the most likely in the entire Order to encounter the Fake Sith) to get a DNA sample, probably hair or blood since that's easiest so they can figure out HOW these two are related, if they are, and then there's a whole big thing.

Bant: No, no, this must be contaminated, it's coming up as Obi-Wan! Are you sure you didn't accidentally grab some of your own hairs? I know it's a little long for most of your hair, but the braid-- Quinlan: Wait, they keep claiming stuff about cloning, right? Maybe someone's a clone? Check for artificial telomeres! Bant: ...okay, so, there aren't any artificial telomeres, but the ones from apparently-Ben are... a lot shorter... um... I don't know what to do with this. It's like I have two samples from the same person, twenty years apart. Quinlan: Obi-Wan, what's that face? Why are you-- Obi-Wan: Vader told me he was a time-traveler. I thought it was the fever talking, but...

That’s how he finds out that Ben is future-him before finding out about how he’s not evil!

"Master Jinn... I think... I think the Sith controlling the Outer Rim is me from the future." "Oh, you finally figured it out?" "I AM HAVING A CRISIS HERE."

Obi-Wan, after a few hours of dazed realization, runs screaming to Quinlan and Bant like 'GUYS GUYS THIS EXPLAINS WHY VADER KEPT SAYING IT WAS WEIRD AND THAT I LOOK LIKE HIS MASTER AND THAT IT WOULD BE LIKE DATING HIS DAD.'

You know, the important stuff.

I think Qui-Gon tells him that Ben isn't evil because, like, That Sure Is A Crisis Obi-Wan's Having. He could hold off for shits and giggles, sure, but Obi-Wan’s on the edge of something Really Concerning, mentally. Best help calm him down on at least one or two things.

Obi-Wan’s maybe still a little skeptical until he confronts them over it. Because their Sith act was real good and also like. Maybe Qui-Gon just wants to believe the best of his Padawan, y’know?

Quinlan runs into Ben before Obi-Wan does, after this whole mess, and gets to observe as money changes hands and people act like sore winners about bets made for When Does Obi-Wan Figure It Out.

Anakin was saying 'soon' because he really didn't think the fever-fueled rant would be discounted as easily as it was.

Cody was of the opinion that it would take at least a few more years since they're actually pretty damn good at this whole schtick.

Quinlan: Wow, he's... going to be really disappointed that you have such a low opinion of his intelligence. Cody, gesturing at Ben: Experience. Darth Ben: ಠ_ಠ

Cody just rattles off some of the Extremely Stupid Shit that Ben's done in their time working together.

Rex cheerily offers up "You didn't even realize General Skywalker was married, sir! And they weren't subtle!" "I knew they were together, I just didn--" "Everyone knew they were together, sir. Everyone."

(Rex had the lowest opinion of their deductive capabilities. He claims it would have taken until Baby Ahsoka showed up at the Jedi Temple.)

-Once Obi-Wan accepts that they're decent people after all- Obi-Wan: Wow, Anakin, you're real good at acting unhinged! Anakin: Haha. Yeah. Thanks?

[talesofsonicasura]

Joestar Misadventures-Sun Wukong: Siblings and His Face

What's this? Double update and another part of this folks? This will revolve around two things: Sun Wukong's face reveal and one of your siblings finding out about your house guests early. Here are the JoJo's ages, reminder that you are the oldest. Jonathan is 23, Joseph is 22, Jotaro is 19, Josuke is 17, Giorno is 15, Jolyne is 18, Johnny is 19 and Josuke (P8)/Gappy is 16.

Can be read as preferred gender or gender neutral! No knowledge of Nezha Reborn is required.

It had been at least six months since Sun Wukong and his little monkeys have been with you. The same amount of time it took to actually see his face too.

You were munching on some toast when the sound of metal clinking had gotten your attention. Sun Sun took his mask off much to his monkeys' shock.

Just as suspected, his face was monkey like, similar to a macaque's if you were honest. His amber eyes and that wild white hair of his gave off a true regal aura than the manic one when he wore his mask.

Your response: "Damn! No wonder why you hid your face. You practically have a bunch of men and women throwing themselves at you. Or tons of gifts from crazy stalkers and secret admirers on your doorstep."

The compliment had the Monkey King laughing his ass off on the floor and his minions cackling alongside him.

After that, Sun Sun wore his mask less when around you. Only times he did wear his mask was either in public or was just having a bad day.

It was only a matter of time before your siblings found out. It first started with your younger brother Josuke.

The pompadour teen ended up being thrown into your custody. A battle against an enemy Stand User gone wrong and the police catching the aftermath.

Having Josuke under your roof with Sun Wukong and his minions was something else. Your little brother understandingly freaks out upon the discovery.

It didn't really take long for Josuke to get along with the Monkey King and his monkeys.

The teen's soft hearted nature being a huge factor. And Sun Sun liking his pompadour were bonus points. Your little brother was very volatile when it came to insults towards his hair. Add his Stand Crazy Diamond to the mix... Oh boy.

Josuke would either chill or be a mischievous little shit with Sun Sun's minions. You and even the Monkey King ended up on the receiving end of their pranks quite often. Only fair that both of you teamed up to prank them back.

Sometimes you caught the pompadour teen and the monkeys grooming each other. Sun Sun even caught a picture of one of his monkeys' sporting a pompadour!

Speaking of the Monkey King, his relationship with Josuke could be summed as crazy Gruncle and nephew. Sun Sun has the neighborhood kids call him Grandpa Sun and you've seen him cause mischief with them a lot so...

The two would talk or gossip about all kinds of stuff from fashion, videogames, pranks, and even racing circuits that Sun Sun held.

One day you had walked in on a makeshift fashion show with Josuke and the Monkey King showing off all kinds of suits or clothing. Somehow you ended up as a judge alongside the monkey minions not soon after.

Just like with you, Sun Sun also trained Josuke to fight w/o his Stand. Although a good portion centered around making a clean getaway. Expected when he found out your family has a history of getting arrested.

The only time you went to jail was actually a setup by an assassin. Being a Joestar meant you had a chance to come across all sorts of enemies, not just Stand Users. Sadly for that bloke, you had Starset since birth which meant tons of experience to kick their ass with.

Back to the topic, Josuke did see Sun Sun's face when Crazy Diamond finally landed a hit on the Monkey King, right in the mask. Shattering it to pieces and Josuke got knocked on his ass in return.

The god was impressed by the teen's progress although a bit upset that his mask got wrecked. Well, it didn't stay broke long as Crazy Diamond's power restored it to the point it was brand new.

Sun Sun practically spun Josuke around in joy before seeing what else they can break/fix. It wasn't long before the Monkey King began calling him 'Xiǎo zuànshí' (Little Diamond).

You did question why he only calls you Jojo. His response was that it suited you the most in his opinion. You couldn't even question him when Josuke started to chase Sun Sun around for a prank of his.

The cackling Monkey King would a find dead fish in his bed later. Whether it was your doing or Josuke's, his minions were tight lipped about it.

Hope you guys enjoyed the second part of this craziness. Nezha Reborn Sun Wukong honestly looks like the type of person who would leap for the crazy grandfather/gruncle role. It's also practically canon that he prefers it since in JTTW, he referred to the monkeys he ruled over as his children and prefers to be called Father or Grandfather by them.

Will the other Joestars get nicknames from Sun Wukong? Oh yeah. I chose Josuke cause he felt perfect for the first introduction. He's easier to befriend and a great mediator without making things awkward. Jonathan could be considered too polite and I ain't letting Sun Wukong meet Giorno as those two would be a nightmare to any mafia across the WORLD.

As for Sun Wukong's face response, 😏. I'm a Monsterhugger and I won't lie that the Nezha Reborn Monkey King looks pretty nice. But I prefer JTTW 96, Hero is Back and Lego Monkie Kid iterations. This is the Monkey King I'd be friends with. You know causing mischief, play videogames against or just do dumb shit.😆

The prologue for Stone Novas is currently being reworked and the version here should be updated soon. I mainly fixing any cultural inaccuracies along other stuff.

Until next folks! I'll be posting a picture of Josuke and Crazy Diamond for any non-Jojo fans reading this. As for anyone who wants to watch Nezha Reborn but don't want the Monkey King's face spoiled, it'll be put under Read More.

Ignore the extra ears, the only good shots I could get were with his Six Eared Macaque disguise up.

[sixx02]

One More

“Arc… Arc… vs Arc… and Nikos… ugh… why are there three of you?”  The combat professor scratched his head as he stared at the names on the board.  “Whatever…”  

Jaune did not like where this was going, they had only been here for a few weeks but he’d seen just how good Pyrrha was.  Okay, well he could tell right away after her first fight with Nora.  He just kind of hoped they’d be together… ‘Not together together!  Just on the same team… right that’s what I meant!’  Yep he definitely didn’t think she was super darn awesome, or really pretty, or super badass or anything like that!  He also didn’t notice her well toned arms and legs when they were training, nope!  He’d never pay attention to things like that.

Of course… he couldn’t help but pass glances to her now and again, she was really awesome.  Though… he doubted he’d have a chance, and honestly he needed to concentrate on himself… right… he didn’t want a repeat of before.  Turning towards the professor he waited for the actual teams. 

“Ugh, whatever, boys versus girls.”

Both Lie and him stopped, “Uh… sir, could we uh… could you reconsider?”  

“No!  Now get your stuff and get up there!”  

Both boys turned towards one another, “Oh no.”  

Lie and him weren’t terrible by any means, heck they were in the upper half of the class!  But, well… Nora and Pyrrha were at the very top constantly competing for first place.  And there was talk about Pyrrha actually competing in the upcoming tournaments!  The trio had opted out of it, they didn’t really want the attention and honestly speaking they didn’t want to be in front of a crowd.  

“Hurry up!”  Both boys sighed, relenting to their future domination. That was till they were both pulled into a powerful hug.

“Yes!  I can’t wait to fight!  It’s going to be a ton of fun!”  

Jaune loved Nora, she was his wonderful sister after all.  But, well… he wasn’t sure he could agree with that last bit.  Though he didn’t really have the heart to deny her answer as she continued to squeeze the two boys together.  

“Nora I think they get the point.”  Pyrrha’s gentle tone caught his ears.

“Okie dokie!”  Nora let them go at the behest of her, in her own words, besty better than the resty forever!  Honestly despite his obvious… not so obvious, crush on her, he was just happy that she got along with Nora.  Like he said he loved Nora, but she had a lot of energy, a lot of energy that caused a lot of people to think she was stupid or dumb, well they always got what was coming to them.  

“Still, this should be a grand fight!”  

“Right right!  Grand.”  

“Yes… Grand.”  Lie’s response was far less enthusiastic than his own.  Both boys however gave way, once they gathered their things adjourning at the arena.  The girls had already been prepared, Pyrrha had her own specially made weapon.  “It seems they’re taking us seriously.”

“Yep… I wish they wouldn’t!”  Jaune didn’t like where this was going!  He had seriously thought about how they’d handle the dynamic duo, but every single idea and thought was always just crushed by overwhelming prowess and might.  “Well nothing left but to do it then ya?”  

Lie simply nodded, they would have to take this one step at a time after all.  

The moment they lined up with the girls the professor started the count down.  

“Alright!  3...2...1… GO!”  

Hopefully this wouldn’t be too terrible.

“This is terrible…”  

A week earlier.

Charles couldn’t believe what they’d run into, he was starting to truly and fully believe that him and his wife were harbingers of doom… or at the very least ones that came in the aftermath of great destruction.

“Who would do this?  This wasn’t a grimm attack… they don’t just set fires to homes!”  Jeanne didn’t like this, not at all… they’d been on a mission when they’d seen the smoke rise into the air.  When they got to the small farm they’d found the home razed to the ground, if only they’d gotten here sooner!  She clenched her fist as the air around her began to warp, her aura flared wildly, the ground cracking beneath her feet.  

“WAAAAAAAAAH!”  

In an instant she cooled off, “Did you hear that?!”  

“Yes!”  Both husband and wife turned towards one another, in an instant they were off, the ground cracking beneath their feet as they made their way towards the sound. 

In an instant they found themselves in front of a Cellar, wasting no time they dug through the debris blocking their way.  

“What…”  Once they’d opened the doors they’d found a young boy who appeared to be the same age as their twins.  “Oh god…”  Jeanne winced at the terrible wounds on his chest rising up to his neck.  

“No… not again.  What do we do?”  Her husband’s words sunk in.

“We...  we have to take him… see if he has family?  Find out who he is…”  

“P...please… help him…”  Their eyes snapped towards a younger woman.  They hadn’t noticed her before, but… but she wasn’t going to make it.  The clear indications of severe wounds present on her body, scars and gnashes… the seasoned hunters almost looked away.  “Please… he has… no one else…”  

“Hold on don’t ta…”  Charles stopped as he drew closer, “...She’s dead.”  

Once more they let the silence seep in, “We… we have to take him.”

Her husband stood there for a moment, “Alright…”  

They would bury the woman, and they would take the young boy home with them.  The young man who they would later learn the name as Oscar Pines, the young man that would later be known as Oscar Pines Arc.

Jaune had been wrong, he had been terribly terribly wrong!  This was worse than terrible!  This had gone downright ugly!  

His legs buckled at Nora’s powerful swing, the arena beneath his feet cracked.  “SERIOUSLY?!”  He knew that these things were supposed to be made of sturdier stuff, and he knew that if he hadn’t been pumping aura into this metal sheet of a shield it would have caved right in.  

“AHAHAHAH!”  Her body was surging with dangerously high levels of electricity.

“Your semblance is so unfair!”  

“Says the walking living aura generator!  Now on your knees my favorite minion!”  

“NOPE NOPE NOPE!  LIE!”  In an instant Lie pulled himself away from trying to defend from Pyrrha, pumping his aura into his legs he dashed over towards his manic sister, his palm colliding with her waist sending her flying.  Unfortunately she was able to stop herself from getting ringed out by smashing her hammer into the ground beneath them.

Jaune’s hand swiped past Lie as he continued after Nora, in a single burst he’d filled his brother’s Aura up once more.  WIth a burst of strength his own Aura began to refill, only to stop a Pyrrha peppered him with dust rounds.  

“Really Pyrrha?!”  

“Sorry!  But I can’t let you do that!”  She was ever the fighter after all, so he knew she wouldn’t just let him recharge.  

“Fine!”  Putting up his shield he dashed forward, allowing the bullets to graze past it or hit less important targets, like not his head.  

Upon reaching her, he did what he did best, he attempted to ram his shield into her face.  Only for her to deftly avoid him, his shield flashed black as she attempted to nudge it away.  

Ever since her fight with Nora, she’d apparently been using her semblance a lot more, taking the time to really practice with it.  Or at least that’s what she’d told them anyways.  Which was great and everything!  But it made her really frustrating to fight, so he did what he knew he could.  Pumping more aura into the shield he was able to overpower her attempt at control.

“You really do have a lot of aura!”  He would have blushed at the comment if not for her shield attempting to ram him into the face.  

He didn’t have many options, he couldn’t really avoid it, he wasn’t exactly the fastest person, so once more he did what he thought he could.  “ACHA!”  With a might slam he hit her shield straight on with his empowered forehead causing her to pull back in surprise.

“Jaune!?”  Her worried tone was apparently warranted as that blow nearly knocked his lights out.  Aura could do a lot of things, but when he messed up, well sometimes his brain couldn’t really handle the rumbling.

“I’m okay!”  Straightening himself he attempted to swipe at her midsection, only for her to parry the blow using her blade.  

“Good!”  In that moment he felt her aura wrap around his blade disarming him as her knee hit him straight in the gut.  Thankfully his Aura protected him, but that hadn’t been her goal.  In the moment that he instinctively buckled over she’d applied her aura instantly onto his shield and pushed him straight out of the ring.  “Sorry!”  

To his surprise Lie had already been there waiting for him.  “Did she golf swing you?”

“She golf swung me…”  

“Nikos and Arc win!”  

The boys could hear the cheering from the crowd, their own egos slightly wounded as no one really had expected them to win, not even themselves!  

But, well that didn’t matter in the end, “YOU GUYS DID AMAZING!”  

Pink and Sapphire eyes glanced upwards, meeting emerald and turquoise.  

“She’s right you know.  You had gotten our aura’s rather low.”  

Both boys turned towards the monitor at the same time, they’d managed to get both Pyrrha and Nora down to about 60 percent.  That may have seemed like nothing, but well, when most people couldn’t drop them even a single percent?  It wasn’t a bad thing.  “Huh!  Hey look at that, we got you guys down another 2 percent this time.”  A part of him did want to have a little snark though.

“That we did.”

“Yeah!  You guys are improving!”  Nora pulled everyone into a tight hug, her arms wrapped affectionately around her family, Pyrrha included.

“I agree you’re both improving at a remarkable rate.”

Neither of the boys could really deny it, while it felt bad to lose, well… well at least they knew they were getting better and that wasn’t a bad thing.

“Alright… well how bout… we go get cleaned up and then we can go to Saph’s house.  We could have a sleep over?”  He turned towards Pyrrha, “If you can come of course!”

“Oh!  Yes, my parents should be fine with it.  They quite like your sister.”  Pyrrha’s warm smile caused his chest to feel oddly pained.  Right, gotta concentrate on getting better.  

Pyrrha parted ways with them wanting to get ready and prepared for the oncoming sleepover.

Once they’d gotten home after getting ready, they’d noticed extra sounds coming from the living room.  “Saph?”

“MY BABIES!”  In an instant the three Arc siblings were pulled into one powerful hug.

“MOM!”  Nora was the only one to return the powerful hug meeting one with equal strength.

“Hey kids… we got something to tell you.”  As their mom dropped them they eyed a small figure behind them.  “Meet Oscar… Oscar Pine Arc, he’s your new little brother.”

[monotonous-minutia]

Third question: pick an opera you’ve seen several productions of and compare/contrast those productions in as many or few ways as you wish

So, Zauberflöte is one of my favorite operas, but I don’t talk about it too much. I think it might be because it’s honestly hard to find a decent production of this one. Like, yes, the opera itself is super whack, but I don’t understand the need to make it even more ridiculous with bizarre sets/costumes/staging/etc. So most of the time I don’t even finish them. My method is usually this: 1) See if the overture is staged and how. 2) Check out the set and costumes and see how bizarre/distracting they are. 3) Watch Papageno’s first aria to see how they handle him. 4) Watch Monostatos’s first scene to see how they handle him. 5) If the first Monostatos scene is questionable watch his aria. If all of this is passable, I’ll start over and watch the whole thing. A lot of times, productions don’t pass the test. However, there are four that I have seen that I really enjoyed.

Drottingholm Court Theater, 1989

The first Zauberflote I ever saw was also the first opera I ever saw, so it’s very special to me. The production is glorious; lush sets and costumes set in the time it was written; intricate staging that really brings out the character’s personalities and motivations; an excellent cast with an especially expressive Pamina who most of the time isn’t there for Sarastro’s BS. Papageno is adorable and hilarious and the production does NOT make fun of him, which is refreshing. This is my favorite Sarastro; the actor (Lazlo Polgar) is so phenomenal that I can actually see Sarastro as the kind, wise, loving figure he’s supposed to be (but the misogyny is still there because it’s unavoidable). The Queen of the Night is regal, majestic, and terrifying. During her second aria she spends a lot of the coloratura staring manically into the audience. Two of my favorite bits of staging: At the end of Act I, when the villagers start to arrive to greet Sarastro, Papageno notices a cute girl in the crowd and starts flirting with her. Later we find out that she’s Papagena, and it’s simply adorable and makes their reunion all the more genuine. The other is at the very end during the Act II finale. They stage it as if Sarastro is performing a wedding ceremony for Pamina and Tamino and in the last moment Papageno and Papagena run in holding hands and go stand next to them so it becomes a double wedding and Sarastro gives them this huge smile and my heart just melts. An interesting choice they make is that the Pamina-Tamino duet where they’re saying their “final farewell” (“Soll ich dich teurer nicht mehr sehn?”) is at the beginning of Act II before Tamino leaves for his trials, which makes more sense because he is talking to Pamina and if it happens after Pamina’s aria it doesn’t make sense because he just listened to her say she was going to kill herself without responding and now all of a sudden he’s talking to her. So I like that they put it here because it makes their conversation more believable. The only thing I don’t like about it is the way they handle Monostatos; it’s not unique to this production, but that obviously doesn’t excuse it. A sad mark on an otherwise impeccable production. Unfortunately I can’t find this anywhere online; I just own the DVD, so while I’d recommend it highly, I doubt people will be able to find it.

Convent Garden, 2003

The second one I ever saw. Delightful in so many ways. I LOVE this Papageno and Pamina and the production really highlights the fact that they’re a team in the second part of Act I and it’s so stinking cute. The costumes don’t have a specific theme going on as far as I can tell, but I’m also not great with recognizing stuff like that. The set is relatively simple and doesn’t go out of its way to be flashy or outstanding. We get the cutest Pamina in existence, Dorothea Röschmann, who also isn’t there for Sarastro’s BS and frankly not Tamino’s either but there’s not a lot she can do about any of that. Damrau is the Queen of the Night and she is a QUEEN. Eek. This Tamino is VERY annoyed with Papageno to the point of being almost mean but Papageno eventually starts fighting back which is heartening. His line about being able to be a man too by not saying anything during Pamina’s suicidal aria is clearly a burn and after that he takes his stuff and goes offstage, instead of following Tamino like he does in every other production I’ve seen, as if he’s just done with him. They actually don’t interact again after that so I can imagine they just go their separate ways, which is kind of sad, but this production really doesn’t portray the bromance between them that others do. I do hope he gets to see Pamina again though. Papageno’s duet with Papagena is the cutest thing in the world and Papagena herself is illegally adorable. Also Pamina deserves much more than what these men give her. I hope either Tamino shapes up or she leaves him eventually. This one also remedies some of the racism by having Monostatos and his minions be zombies, which looks odd compared to the rest of the set and costumes but is appreciated. They also fix some of the wording in his aria (which I caught with my limited German skills) which also helps. This Sarastro is pretty nice too but not as expressive as Polgar and his staging isn’t as intricate. Overall though I love this one primarily for Keenlyside’s Papageno, Damrau’s Queen, and Röschmann’s Pamina.

Bronx (can’t find a date)

This one is in English and the translation is really good and best of all gets rid of some of the racism/misogyny so yay! The cast is really good at portraying the characters, and they embrace the comic and dramatic elements with equal weight, and there’s more diversity than is often seen. This Queen freaking SLAYS. And Pamina makes me cry. A lot. We get a lot of the missing dialogue here which helps flesh out the story and which I really appreciate because I’m kind of tired of people bashing the libretto when a lot of the confusion comes from bad translations and the fact that huge chunks of the dialogue are taken out because conductors want to get to the music faster. Like there is SO MUCH banter between Tamino and Papageno that’s freaking hilarious but we hardly ever get to hear it. And there’s a lot more exposition in the Papageno-Pamina conversation at the top of Act I Scene II that clarifies a lot of what people complain is so confusing, as well as a longer conversation between Pamina and her mother in Act II that explains more of her backstory and the significance of the flute. So I love that this production keeps a lot of it in. The set and costumes are detailed and very pretty. Papageno’s feathers and green wig are kind of Extra but he’s so funny I can forgive it. Papagena is TINY and adorable. We actually get some genuine chemistry between Tamino and Pamina which is a rare treat. At the very end Papageno and Papagena run onstage and Papageno goes to hug Tamino which is very sweet, and Papagena goes to Pamina, which makes me wonder if maybe they knew each other before. After all, they’ve both been hanging out at Sarastro’s place for some time waiting for their men to get it together.

Loyola University New Orleans, 2014

This one also gets rid of a lot of the racism/misogyny through another great English translation and taking out the entire duet with the Two Priests where they’re basically just saying women are terrible and making changes to the portrayal of Monostatos and his lines. The cast is more diverse too which helps. It’s set in what looks like maybe Egypt, which kind of makes sense given the whole Isis/Osiris thing. However, Sarastro is obviously imitating Zeus with a huge white beard, white robe, and he carries a giant lightning bolt in some scenes, which makes for an odd juxtaposition. This Tamino is less Stand There and Look Handsome and more Let’s Get This Over With which is refreshing. Monostatos is hilarious and I kind of feel sorry for him. We get an extra sassy Papagena and it’s a joy. The Three Spirits are actually portrayed as women in this one instead of boys which also helps with diversity and lessening misogyny. It also keeps a lot of the missing dialogue which is appreciated. The interactions between the characters are detailed and genuine and make for a heartfelt production overall.

so there’s that. Thanks for the ask; I especially love ranting/rambling about opera productions!!

[babes-and-baddies]

How much do we actually know about Shigaraki Tomura, and how much is just implication? And can we truly trust what we have been shown?

As odd as it is, I feel like the more we learn about him, the more questions are brought up. And while a lot of this may be old news on unsurprising to must of us, all well as basic ‘well of course that applies to him’ info, it’s still worth sitting down and evaluating how much is actually true. I probably missed some things, and will update when new info comes up!

WHAT WE KNOW IS TRUE:

Shigaraki Tomura is the name given to Shimura Tenko, grandson of All Might’s teacher Shimura Nana. He was taken in by AfO, who killed his grandmother, and was raised to become his successor so as to cause All Might to most possible pain. (source: ch 88, 92, 222)

He’s 20 years old, was taken in as a child, and at 14 experienced the aftermath of his Sensei being beaten at the hands of All Might, and in turn saw  his Sensei receiving irreplaceable damage. (source: ch 1, 220)

He has countless scars across his face; a group surrounding his eyes, one down his left eye, and one down the right side of his mouth. He’s had them since before AfO took him in, so they’re most likely from either earlier in his childhood, or from whatever event traumatized him and killed his family. (source: ch. 222)

He wears what he believes/are actually the disembodied hands of his family, which he murdered as a child. Flashbacks of his family include his parents, a little girl, and a corgi, although it’s never stated these flashbacks truly correspond with his family. There are additional, unaccounted for, hands, which he wears alongside his family as part of his villain costume. He treats his ‘family’ with genuine care, apologizing to them and making sure they’re safe; at the same time, for all the peace they bring him, there’s a sense of horror and pain. (source: USJ, ch 85, 220, 222)

He’s incredibly intelligent, and usually when his plans fail it’s because of unpredictable factors (Deku distracting them at USJ, Katsuki’s stubbornness and unique ideals + Momo’s tracker, etc). He successfully managed to use Stain’s ideals for his own benefit despite hating him, and duped the 8POD into trusting the League before stabbing them in the back and taking what he needed from them. (source: a lot)

Moral ideals and grand plans personally mean nothing to him, and he’s shown disinterest for such ideas from the beginning by making his speech at USJ and then nonchalantly agreeing it was bullshit, and his hatred and lack of understanding of Stain’s ideals and popularity.  He’s even outright said he doesn’t want power or authority, but instead wants to simply destroy. (source: his USJ speech, ch 69, 222)

He wants to kill everything he doesn’t like, including All Might. Shigaraki is cruel, violent, and driven by a mix of anger, emptiness, and hatred. This has always been the case, and chapter 222 has gone ever further in explaining how he deals with his feelings. AfO fostered his trauma and its effects, and taught him how to use them so he directs his pain out against the world. The exact reasons behind and mechanics of how this happens is still uncertain, but nonetheless interesting to look into. (source: ch 69, 88, literally every appearance he’s in)

Shigaraki is dealing with trauma and mental illness, and received little to no help for coping with it. The exact nature of his mental illness is unclear - there have been lots of interesting options people have talked about that are worth bringing up, such as depression, OCD (plus excoriation disorder for scratching at his neck), BPD, PTSD, and autism, but in the end it’s hard to say anything more definitive than ‘some mental illness’ - and the range and scope of his trauma is hard to know, but it’s still safe to say he’s dealing with both. From the way AFO and the doctor treat his breakdown after seeing his ‘families’ remains’, it’s clear they care little to none about his actual wellbeing, and instead want to use his trauma to their advantage. (source: ch 222, general traits in all his appearances)

We know Shigaraki’s own understanding of his childhood, and that his trauma shaped the person he is now in current chapters.  He has fragmented memories, rage associated with them, and a nauseous calm he has from wearing his family on him. Even while going about for non-villainous activities, such as when he ran into Midoriya at the mall, he’s still shown to have Father with him. Upon losing Father, he shows excessive stress.  That said, he’s started to wear Father less while around the League, although we don’t know what caused him to do so. It could be a tactical bid to make them trust him, or that he depends on them less when with his colleagues, or that he himself trusts his colleagues, etc. Either way, he still takes great care to protect his ‘family’ and make sure they’re on hand at all time in case something happens unexpectedly. (source: chs 18, 88 220 - 222)

The League is important to him, enough so that he’s willing to show trust in them and make exceptions in his goals to let them keep what they love. While there are different ways of explaining why he treats them with such care and freedom, it’s undeniable that he’s invested in all of them. (source: overhaul arc, ch 220 - 222)

Shigaraki is growing, learning, and coming into his own person the further along in Canon we go. While he started at USJ with using his allies as tools and canon fodder, now he takes time to individually connect with his teammates and look out for their wellbeing, even if we don’t know his emotional state behind doing this. He’s utilized his enemies ideologies for his own sake, and learned to manipulate the game to take advantage of his enemies, like how he tricked the 8POD before destroying them and stealing their quirk-erasing bullets. (source: overhaul arc, ch 85, 160)

He’s becoming the type of leader to go out in the field with his teammates, not just command from the shadows. While at USJ he was happy to abandon his minions, and at the training camp he stayed at the bar while the Vanguard Action Squad did the dirty work, by the time they faced off against Overhaul he’d be in the thick of it alongside his party, jumping off of moving trucks and including his team in his declarations, providing and proving a unified front. (ch 160, 220)

He’s also the type of guy to regularly speak in video game terms. I just think that’s neat.

WHAT IS FALSE:

‘Shigaraki is an immature whiny manchild.’ I’ll admit, he does act manic and childish about certain things in the beginning; at the same time, he’s shown a lot of maturity, intelligence, and self-awareness throughout the series. In fact I’d say he’s shown considerably more of those traits that a lot of the more central characters, considering how frequently cases of him growing and showing level-headed, calculated choices  despite are shown how little screen time Shigaraki has.

‘He has no social skills and doesn’t know how to interact in society.’ While Shigaraki clearly doesn’t care about fitting in or social norms, he’s shown time and again that he *knows how* to. He uses his words to win over Toga and Twice when they didn’t want to work temp for the 8POD. Even earlier, at Kiyashi Ward Shopping Mall, he blends into the crowd and manages to not catch any suspicion despite actively threatening the life of a teenager. He’s the type to go out into society when he needs to calm down, despite hating everything about it; he don’t act antisocially, he just doesn’t show any respect or care for the norms he uses to blend in when needed.

‘He’s inherently broken.’ It’s been heavily implied that he was manipulated into his state since Kamino, but chapter 222 made is blatantly obvious: Shigaraki’s rage, his ideals, his cruelty, is all a product of his not getting enough help as a child and instead only having AfO and his followers to help him grow up around his trauma. 

‘Shigaraki is shallow, confusing, and doesn’t know what he’s doing’ His goals may seem empty and shallow, but given his backstory and trauma it makes a lot of sense and is quite reasonable. Not everyone can relate to the self-destructive feelings of emptiness he describes, but it truly shows that he is aware of what he’s doing, knows what his motivations are, and simply chooses not to care about the morality of consequences of his desires.  Despite being clearly manipulated by AfO, he’s not a mindless shell without agency. He’s grown, and even though what he’s becoming is what AfO likely hoped for him to be, he’s still able to make his own decisions. The emptiness he feels is not his fault, but he is still able to look at his feeling and, using what he knows, choose where to go from there. He may be a victim, but he’s still a villain, and a rather self-aware and content one. He wants to destroy everything, he knows why he wants to destroy it, and that is more than enough for him. 

‘Shigaraki actively wants to heal and do better.’ Perhaps deep down what he wants is something softer, to find people to care about, to feel peace and happiness. Perhaps he wants to get rid of the emptiness, to ‘feel good’ again. But perhaps not. If he does care, it’s not like he’s putting any stock in that desire. As the adult he is now, he’s content with being cruel. He’s shown no remorse, and no desire for healing or redemption. Every living thing bothers him, so why not destroy it? It’s not like he cares about the consequences.

WHAT IS UNCERTAIN:

How much of his childhood memory is accurate? From right when I first read the chapter something seemed really off, and the many many meta (too many for me to link all of them) about this seem to agree; the facts don’t all add up, and there’s more going on in his past than even Shigaraki himself may be aware.

On that note: we don’t know if he cares about whether his memory is tampered with, or whether he is even actually ignorant about the fact. Shigaraki is content in his hatred, and truly believes he is right to do so; why should he care if it was intentionally created by his Sensei?  Perhaps learning the truth would ruin Shigaraki, putting him at odds with AfO and maybe even redirecting his anger towards the one who raised him. Or maybe learning the truth would be a non-issue, because he believes the conclusions he’d drawn are still true even if they were caused by manipulation. It could even be that Shigaraki already suspects it was altered in some and simply doesn’t care. At this point it’s too early to tell.

What was his family like before AfO found him? Some people believe he was abused by his birth family, others that he had very loving and kind family (and perhaps was forced to torture or kill them). Shigaraki himself said that he has only fragments of memory from when he was young, that he so there’s no way of knowing. We also can’t truly know if he would feel any differently now if he found out one or the other to be true. 

When did Kurogiri come into his life, and how complicit was he in Shigaraki’s abuse and manipulation? While clearly not a ‘father/mother figure’ like fanon likes to portray him, we still don’t know when he joined, what type of relationship they had, and how much interaction they had before planning the attack on USJ. To be honest, we don’t know much of *anything* about Shigaraki’s life with AfO.

How did AfO treat Shigaraki long term after taking him in? Was it with a false nurturing persona, to make Shigaraki dependent on him? Did he constantly put Tomura into dangerous situations to make him prove himself and grow, much like what he’s putting Shigaraki through even now that he’s in jail? Did Shigaraki have any outside contact with the world beside AfO, the Doctor, and potential Kurogiri/other minions as well?

Where exactly does Shigaraki’s rage come from? While he clearly believes it’s towards the world, and hates pretty much everything, it’s hard to say where exactly it originate from aside from general trauma. Is it truly towards society and the people in it, like he says? And if it is, *why* does he hate them so much? Perhaps it’s hatred towards a world he doesn’t deserve and can never be a part of. Or hatred towards himself, spreading out past his own self and infecting the rest of the world so that he hates all living things. Maybe it’s even hatred towards AfO, who never let him heal all so that he could become a weapon. Still, it could be from a genuine hatred for society that failed to save, manipulated by AfO until he couldn’t feel anything beyond it. Personally, I think it’s a mix of many of those things, all combining into a mess he’s not sure how to explain but has nonetheless come to terms with and accepted. Either way, as with many of the other things here, it’s too soon to tell.

How does he truly feels about his companions? Does he genuinely care about them? Tolerate and respect them, but only on a professional level? Or does his hollow hatred extend to them as well, and he treats them with respect in order to maintain their respect? Clearly he values them in some way, but how can we know if its more than instrumental value? I’d personally say one of the first two is most likely, but there’s still no actual way of knowing. 

How does he truly feel about himself? If he content with who he is, or just grudgingly accept it because he knows no alternative? Is his hatred of the world simply hatred of himself directed outwards? Or does he truly care for himself, and want to destroy for more direct reasons?

How exactly does his quirk work? Whenever he decays someone it still leaves blood behind, so does it not work on liquids? Or, since him decaying a piece of clothing does not automatically spread to the person under it, does it only work on one type of substance at a time and blood is considered different enough from the rest of the body to not be affected?  In USJ he managed to decay Aizawa’s elbow before his quirk stopped. With Overhaul he cut off his arm to prevent his quirk from spreading across his whole body. So did perhaps Erasure save Aizawa’s life because Decay’s progression was reliant of Shigaraki’s continued quirk factor even after the fact of it being activated? Or was Shigaraki bluffing with Overhaul, to be more cruel? Has he learned to control his quirk with more finesse over time?  Or was it something planned by AfO, just another thing to change him from Tenko to Tomura?  Is his quirk even his own?

So in the end, who is Shigaraki Tomura? I don’t know, but I hope we’re going to learn more.

[seilune]

Blood for Blood

The <Duskwatch Saberguard>, along with Casimir LeCheval and Ambassador Seilune Astrande, delved into the fel corrupted barrow dens of Jaedenar to rescue Nouvel Auburge LeCheval, who had been held captive for the past few months. 

But the young librarian was not the first person to bear witness to the horrors that lie deep within these caverns. A year prior, Seilune and Loviattar had found themselves victims of the same villainous group led by a felborne named Dvoraak, who had preyed upon them during their time within the agency. Returning to this place was undoubtedly difficult for the two of them and Adheles, who had been part of the original rescue team, and traumatic feelings and memories resurfaced, particularly for the diplomat. Now in charge of and associated with new organizations, evil has continued to follow them and threaten to destroy those they hold dear.

Tensions continued to rise as the group delved deeper into the dens, stumbling upon a chamber littered with cages and a single sarcophagus. As each of the elves peered into the cages in hopes of finding the lost Nouvel, they were either met with a captured Kaldorei from a group of Ashenvale sentinels or with something much more sinister.

Demonic shades lunged out from two of the cages, only seen by Seilune and Ladrova who each cried out in horror. They were convinced that they saw them possess the bodies of their allies, leaving the others puzzled as to what trickery was afoot. Soon, the others found themselves spellbound. But rather than become manic and afraid, they quickly turned on each other. Arguments broke out, pitting the elves against each other that quickly became violent. Weapons were drawn, spells were thrown, and hurtful words were exchanged. Ardelle, Leyloria, and Korlith tried desperately to rouse the others back to their senses, but it was to no avail. But with a thunderous crash from Loviattar, the effect wore off and left everyone alone drowning in immense guilt for the things they did and said.

As the group continued their descent, following winding staircases and crossing narrow bridges, they entered a room that was all too familiar to Loviattar, Seilune, and Adheles. It was a dungeon, the same one where Seilune was subjected to psychological and physical torture. The same one where Loviattar had lost her life. Standing before them among the stench of death and decay was Nouvel. They acted peculiar, speaking in a fashion that was atypical of them, and the others wondered if it truly was the Nouvel they all knew and loved. When Loviattar attempted to speak to Nouvel and rouse them to their senses, she was met with hostility from both of the LeCheval siblings in the form of sneers and sorcery. A fiery bolt left the warlock’s hand and streaked through the darkness, crashing into the sentinel and sending her flying backwards and leaving her unconscious. Seilune rushed over to tend to her friend, worried that history might be repeating itself. But as she did, a dark presence made itself known...

The sound of jingling chains echoed throughout the chamber and a dark mist slithered across the floor, dispersing to reveal a monstrosity. What was once a Shal’dorei man was now a felborne, his body altered with chains that could be manipulated at his command. With their lives threatened, the Saberguard and friends moved to thwart their enemy as he advanced. A flurry of chains lashed out at the elves, leaving only few unscathed from the heavy onslaught. But even as their bodies were battered and bruised, their determination never wavered. Attack after attack and spell after spell was launched towards the felborne, slicing into the empty spaces between the coiled chains that were wrapped around his body. Through the elves’ relentless courage and bravery, the felborne met his demise. Now this place would serve as his tomb, sealed with the terrible memories of what had happened there and the stench of his rotting corpse.

With their threat now put to rest and with everyone relatively unscathed, they were finally able to breath a sigh of relief and rejoice in the safe return of Nouvel. Tender moments were shared with them, particularly between them and their sister, Casimir, who had been restlessly searching for her lost sibling. But while the others reveled in their victory, Adheles and Seilune tended to Loviattar who, aside from faint singing, was alive and well. 

Well...sort of. 

The three of them recalled the last time they were there and the tragedy that had fallen upon them. Seilune found solace in knowing history had not repeated itself, with nobody having met the same ill fate as Loviattar had, but Adheles reminded her that more of Dvoraak’s minions were out there and that this was just the beginning.

As the others prepared to leave, Seilune excused herself for a moment. She approached the block where she, Director Harleena, and Silan Reaux were chained up together a year prior, slipping into a private vigil. Dried pools of blood stained the ground, serving as the only reminders of the hell that had transpired. And with the Director missing and Silan recently deceased, they were all that remained of two people Seilune had held most dear. After several moments, she conjured two, glowing bouquets of leyblossoms and placed one at two of the pools of blood. “Quel’vala thonos,” she murmured, bowing her head. “We didn’t yield.”

Once Seilune had finished paying her respects, she, Loviattar, and Adheles shared a warm embrace, thanking the stars above that they had each other. Through the good times and the bad, the three of them had been at each other’s side, and this time had been no different. The painful memories that had accumulated over the past year would never leave them, but it was because of them that they had made it this far. Loviattar reminded them that nothing is truly lost if it kept within the heart, and those words comforted Seilune and Adheles as they remembered the people they had lost. With newfound strength to face whatever horrors await them, the three elves departed Jaedenar and rendezvoused with the others at Ladrova’s vessel, promising never to tell a soul about Loviattar’s moment of tenderness.

@duskwatch-saberguard @sentinel-lovi @adheles @casimir-lecheval @nouvel-auberge @ms-mary-macky @leyloria-falanore @shalandrassil

[calliecat93]

RWBY V6 CH4 Review: So That’s How It Is

Already we're entering Chapter 4, and it's been one Hell of a ride so far. Even Volume 3 waited until the halfway mark to start dealing out the emotional blows. This one? It started in Chapter 2 and doesn't show any signs of holding back. At last the answers regarding Ozpin, who he is, and of his conflict with Salem have been answered. Now the question is, how will our heroes react to it? Well... only one way to find out, I supposed.

Overview

The reaction is... bad. Its... its bad. With the revelation that Salem can't be destroyed, Team RWBY is furious, Yang’s outright yelling at a tearful Ozpin for hiding this. Ruby, while clearly unhappy, keeps her composure as she asks Ozpin exactly what his plan is to defeat Salem. Ozpin, clearly broken down from both his secrets being out and having to relieve his most painful memories, finally admits that he has no plan. This is the straw that breaks the camels back for, of all people, Qrow. He outright punches Ozpin in the face. He does it so hard that he sends him flying into a nearby tree. Yeah, way to forget that it's Oscar's body buddy. Qrow starts to lament on how no one wanted him due to his bad luck, and through Ozpin it felt like he finally had a purpose and could do good. Ozpin trying to tell him that he is doing good falls on deaf ears as Qrow says that meeting him was clearly the worst luck of his like. This shocks, and even seems to hurt Ozpin, and all that he can do is say that he may be right.

In that moment, Ozpin switches back to Oscar, left to feel the sting of the hit. He confirms that Ozpin is gone and when Yang furiously tells him to tell the bastard (IDK why people make her saying that a big deal when she cursed last volume to) that they aren't done, Oscar clarifies that Ozpin has locked himself away in the depths of his mind... they're mind... yeah all of this is causing the poor kid to break down and have an existential crisis. The girls are mad that Ozpin left, wondering what to do when finally, Maria rejoins the story by yelling at them to stop. She points out that it'll be dark soon as she helps Oscar to his feet, so it's best that they follow a nearby trail and get a move on. Yang starts to turn her anger on her because how dare an old woman point out that they're spewing negativity and becoming Grimm magnets, but Maria puts her foot down and refuses to freeze to death. She even says that she understands that they're upset, but right now they aren't making it any better.

So everyone gathers whatever supplies that they can as they start to finally move. Ruby, now having the Relic, goes to give Oscar back the cane. Oscar starts to wonder if all he's going to be is another one of Ozpin's many lives. Ruby starts to assure him that no, he is his own person... only for Qrow to tell her to quit lying as they are better than that. I have... a LOOOT of not nice things to say about this moment, but I’ll save it for when we get to the review section. Oscar just starts walking, Ruby clearly uneasy at all of this before also walking. Well that was soul crushing!

Lets give the heroes a break for a bit and talk about the villains. Hazel, Emerald, and Mercury return to Salem's domain, Emerald clearly still in shock from the entire thing. They are greeted by Tyrian, who I guess was just sleeping all of last volume or something. He starts to mock the fact that it appears that Cinder is dead, provoking Emerald to draw her weapons on him. It reminds me a LOT of that moment in Bleach when Gin Ichimaru decided to go to Rukia and offer to help her avoid execution before revealing that he's joking just to watch her break down because he reignited her hopes. Tyrian's just as creepy, as displayed when he is unfazed by the threat, even cutting himself on Emerald's blade just to show how unfazed he truly is. To my shock, Mercury actually steps in and tells Tyrian to back off. Yes, Mercury. I still hate him for Volume 3, but you know what? Mercury you won a point! Good job dude! Tyrian goes on to say that hes also upset, because they have failed their goddess. He starts to laugh manically as the three just walk away, Emerald clearly unnerved. You know what Tyrian Go back to sleep. No one missed you!

A bit later, the trio is standing before a clearly unhappy Salem. At first her demeanor is clam as she asks Hazel how the mission failed before rephrasing the question into asking who it is that's responsible for the failure. Hazel accepts the blame... which may be the noble thing, but it turns out to be the wrong answer. Salem rises, outright throwing the table aside as she points out that they all know who is to blame. She then summons up some of those Grimm tentacle arms that we saw in the opening, which proceed to hold Hazel own and I assume may be suffocating him. Well if I wasn't afraid of Salem before, this chapter fixed that! Thanks a lot CRWBY!

Salem turns to Emerald for an answer and terrified out of her mind, the third admits that it was Cinder who caused the failure. This is what Salem was working for as she tells Emerald to come to understand the failure... and that it is why Cinder must be isolated until she redeems himself. Emerald and Mercury are shocked to hear that Cinder is alive with even Watts questioning how Salem would know that. But he takes it back when Tyrian points out that he's questioning their 'savior', aka the scary Grimm lay whose still potentially suffocating Hazel. Salem tells them of how they shouldn't put their desires above her own,a after all only she can lead them to those desires. Damn, and I thought her God complex in the backstory was bad...

Finally Salem frees Hazel, saying that they have to press on. She starts to make plans to get the Relic of Destruction from Vacuo... until Hazel says that he has more to report. He reveals that the heroes are on their way to Atlas with the Relic... and are being led by Ozpin. Well good thing that none of them know about the current discourse, haha. The fact that Ozpin is already back understandably concerns everyone... when the windows suddenly start to crack. We see Salem resonating dark energy as she coldly, but firmly tells everyone to leave. They all comply, Hazel even pulling away poor Emerald, as she just looks on in shock before the doors close. Salem seems to calm down at first...before letting out an angry shout, the windows shattering to pieces. Sure hope that she has an interior decorator on hand.

Back with the good guys, they're all still clearly upset and tense from everything. At this point, they just want to get the Relic mission over with. The snow is continuing to fall with no sign of stopping however when Ruby hears something. The group stumbles upon what seems to be an abandoned farm called Burkshire Farms. Since the snow isn't going to let up, they decide to take shelter there and get some rest. And the chapter ends with our heroes passing through the gate, the only background sound being that of the cold, blowing winds.

Review

Damn, for a thirteen minute episode, this episode caused a LOOOT of discourse. Not bad discourse mind you, I haven't seen anyone call this a bad episode. And it isn't. This was a very good, well-written episode showcasing our heroes emotions as all that they learned settle in. There re of course a lot of things that need to be talked about, and we're going to get there. But lets go ahead and get the villains out of the way before we dive into the deep stuff.

Now that we have the backstory, this entire moment felt a lot more unnerving than any of the villains previous scenes. First, Tyrian is just as creepy as he was in Volume 4. His blind praising of Salem comes off as even more disturbing now that we know that she HAS presented herself as a God so long ago. He's pretty much a devout cult fanatic willing to do anything for the one that he worships and is so clearly sick and twisted in how he mocks Emerald. Yeah I hate Cinder and I think that Emerald would be better without her in her life, but MAN mocking the poor girl about Cinder's apparent demise like that was just... wrong. Oh God was it wrong.  But still, kudos to Mercury finally showing some decency and standing up for Emerald. Nice to see that he DOES have a soul... to a degree, but hey he's better than Tyrian.

I am also just loving Hazel more and more. He may be on the bad guys side, but he's clearly the most noble of the bunch. He was willing to take the full blame for the failures, even though Cinder 100% deserves to be blamed, and actively seemed to be looking out for Emerald as well. It shows that the villains aren't just the 'mwahaha lets do bad things cause BAD!' kinds of villains. I like those kinds of villains when done right, like The Joker and (if it pans out well in S17) Genkins in the current Red vs Blue storyline. Hell, Felix (who Miles also created) can probably count from that show also. But its also good to see when the bad guys have depth and deeper emotions to them. It makes them all the more compelling as characters. Right now Hazel, who displays many noble traits, and Emerald, a terrified girl stuck in a very bad position, are probably the most compelling and I am greatly looking forward to what the story has in store for them.

And of course there's Salem. Now that we've seen how she fell down the wrong path, it makes her all the more terrifying here. While you feel sympathy for her throughout last chapter's flashback, here? You have no idea what she's going to do, and it's unnerving. Up until last week, Salem was an intimidating but very calm figure. Her demeanor never broke, at worst she raised her voice like... once. Even when Leo told her about the plan's failure,s he looked almost bored at the news as she silently had her Grimm kill him. But now? She goes form still calm to throwing tables, nearly suffocating Hazel,a and using blatant emotional manipulation on Emerald to put all of hr minions in line. I'll give her this, she did look legit sad about having to leave Cinder behind and she is giving her a chance to redeem herself, but still. When she finally snaps, I was in the same state as Emerald: shocked and fearful. With Ozpin now back, chances are Salem is going to double down on her efforts, and the results are not going to be pretty.

Alright, with that out of the way, lets get to the heroes side of things. Now there isn't a lot to say about the ending. That's clearly setting up for next week and is just them entering an abandoned farm. So while I've got worries, especially since that one tunnel looked a LOT like the one Ruby was in during the opening, we're just going to see what happens next week. But with how this volume has been so far, be very afraid. For now though, lets talk about the aftermath of Ozpin's secrets being revealed, and the fallout that came with it.

There has been a LOT of debate about the characters actions these past three chapters. Was it right to use the Relic to find out Ozpin's secrets? I'm gonna say no, especially for what we found out, but as I said before after all this time they had the right to know. But clearly none of them were prepared for it. Now the better thing to have done was seek shelter first, clam down, talk about it, and if Ozpin kept refusing then at worst they could get the Relic when he wasn't in control or something and asked the question. But considering the circumstances, there was no way that they were going to do the sensible thing. So yeah, they just found out Ozpin's dark backstory and find out that Salem can't be defeated.

So here's the first thing that I want to address. While the way that everyone reacts was NOT the way to go about it, the emotions that they feel? Those are 100% justified. Look, I feel horrible for Ozpin and again, they could have handled how they reacted to it a LOT better. But they also just found out that it looks like Salem can't be defeated. Ozpin has no plan. He is leading them on a suicide mission. One where yeah, they can fight back and thwart Salem's plans over and over, but it will in the end mean nothing. Now I do think that Ozpin is ultimately doing the best that he can in his current situation, after all it's better to fight back than just throw your hands up and wait for death to come. But if you were in a war where in the end, the bad guy couldn't be defeated and you had to fight endlessly, knowing that you will die in vain, how would you feel? I think I'd just outright break down if I were put int hat position. Of course they're going to be angry about it. They just got all of this dumped onto them (and yeah it is kind of their own fault for not considering that, but still), we can't expect them to just be okay with it. They're reacting to their immediate emotions an hopefully, now that they have a chance to breathe, they can look at everything and calm down.

Ozpin is also justified in his reaction. Yeah locking himself away and indirectly meaning that Oscar has to feel the brunt of the aggression was shitty, but you can understand hwy. He new that if anyone knew the truth he'd get the blame and everyone would be angry at him. As hurt as he seemed by Qrow's reaction, eh didn't seem shocked about it either. Heck, eh didn't seem to blame any of them for how they reacted, even saying that maybe they were right. He's holding onto so much guilt and as he feared, with the truth out no one trusts him and blame him for it. There a LOT of morality questions about if Ozpin hiding all that he did was right or not. I think at the very least, those working for him need to know and if he' was honest about it, they'd have probably been uncertain and scared, but they may have still sided with him in hopes of one day finding a solution. Ozpin painted himself as a liar and untrustworthy and no matter how understandable it is, it was in the end the wrong thing to do. But again, it's really hard to blame him since that knowledge would likely cause panic and get them all killed sooner. He was screwed no matter what he did.

In the end, my opinion is that both sides are right and wrong. QRWBY are right to be angry and upset with all the revelations, but getting angry and outright punching poor Oscar was going too far. Ozpin's shouldn't have lied and lead people on regardless of the reasons, but he's also a clearly damaged person who has been trying to make things right despite all the hopelessness surrounding his situation. All of the reactions have been very human and emotional. This is probably why it's a good thing that we have a character like Maria in all of this. She is someone who seems wise and is uninvolved in the conflict. She can look at both sides without bias and understand why everyone feels how they feel, but can also bring attention to what their emotions are blinding them to. Seriously, with her helping Oscar, taking none of Yang's shit, and getting them all to actually focus on not dying, Maria has become an instant favorite. I love her!

So now lets talk about the part that I did not like. That is Qrow's jab at Oscar. Now the punch was harsh, put he clearly meant it for Ozpin so I can look at it as him reacting in blind anger. I still want him to apologize to Oscar later, but I can understand and forgive that. What I CANNOT forgive is how he treats Oscar like he is nothing but Ozpin's vessel. Umm... asshole, no eh isn't. Ruby was NOT lying to him when she assured him that he isn't just one of Oz's lives. Oscar is a young kid thrust into a very difficult, scary situation but he chose to do the right thing. He decided to train to defend himself and to help in whatever way that he can. He has a ton of baggage piled up on top of him, and so far he is handling better than many would if in his shoes. He is kind, heroic, and has a good heart. He is NOT just another of Ozpin's lives. He is Oscar Pine. He is his own person. And you have the gull to essentially put this kid down, while he's in the middle of a breakdown over his identity, because of how hurt yourself feel.

No

That is NOT okay.

It's not wrong toward just Oscar, but even towards Ruby. This girl is handling all of this incredibly well. She never shouts and when Oscar switched back, she was immediately concerned about him and unnerved by her team's reactions. And after all of it, because of how kind of a person she is, she tries to assure this clearly troubled kid that he is not just one of Ozpin's lives. He is his own person. And you berate her for lying. You told Ruby, your own niece, that she is a liar because she tried to comfort someone and assure them that they are more than what they think that they are. Look, I know that Qrow is upset and hurt. I do feel bad for him. But that jab was just... unnecessarily cruel towards both Oscar and Ruby. I am really hoping that Qrow will realize this later and apologize for that because Oscar has done NOTHING wrong. Hell, he's the one who told them about the Relic, so clearly he's on their side. I probably feel worst for Oscar than anyone else and I really hope that the volume cuts him a break soon. But yeah, that just... really made me uncomfortable.

So... what happens now? I think that everyone will either start to calm down or it just lingers before someone finally snaps. Regardless, clearly something is going to happen in this abandoned farm. Going off past episode, abandoned anywhere in this show is bad. Lets just hope that for our heroes sakes, they can work through this.

Final Thoughts

This was the perfect followup. The characters emotions are perfectly displayed, Salem is more horrifying than ever, and I just felt tense and on edge throughout. We all were expecting the fallout to be bad, but boy IDT we were expecting this. It's been one Hell of a ride so far, and we're not even halfway done yet. Lets hope that it doesn't run out of steam before then. As far as this chapter goes though, it was an emotional punch to what is already an emotional situation, and I'm probably going to be recovering from it until next week. Good work CRWBY!

[shirtlesssammy]

13x07: War of the Worlds

Then:

Missing: A nougat filled puppy. Reward: $5000

Now:

We begin tonight’s episode with an unwelcome closeup of Lucifer, but his ugly face is quickly replaced with pretty stock imagery. It seems that Michael has Lucifer trussed up, and is reading his mind to see Lucifer’s world. Michael has plans on heading over there.

Bunker

Sam and Dean are no closer to finding Jack. Sam put out an APB on him to other hunters. Then Cas appears, speaking of Jack, but really foreshadowing his entire episode: “Or, this apparent dearth of evidence is in fact the evidence….of some horrific misadventure that’s befallen him like being dragged down to hell by Asmodeus or, possibly worse, being hijacked to heaven by angels.” Lol. Cas says he’s off to talk to the angels.

Dean insists on tagging along. Cas tells him he can’t, and leaves. Like, there was a lot of flailing over this soft-lit scene, but I kind of felt cold from it. It’s nice that Dean’s using the singular when wanting to stay with Cas. And Cas being separated from the brothers is the nature of the story. I’m just selfish and like to see TFW together. Sigh. 

At a loss, the boys decide to work a case: Tortured, throats slit, witches.

Throne Room

Asmodeus chants, “Jack”, and a demon arrives to tell him that there’s no news of “the Jack.”

Fun fact: In the 1970s, Asmodeus helped Don Draper come up with the Coke ad.

The demon also reveals that the Winchesters don’t know where (the) Jack is either.

AU

Lucifer continues to spout his self-importance. Michael reveals his secret weapon in getting to Lucifer’s world: Kevin Tran!

AU!Kevin isn’t quite our Kevin, but it’s good to see him on screen. He’s still a prophet though, and one that’s probably been worked a little too hard. He’s a ball of manic energy, and ready to recreate the rift in worlds. He just needs the grace of an archangel, which Michael extracts from Lucifer with little hassle.

On the Case

Dean checks in with Jody about the witch case. Sam pulls up a surveillance video.

While watching the video, Dean notices a familiar --but impossible--face. KETCH! As the brothers flail over the idea of Ketch still being alive, a witch approaches them for help. 

AU

Kevin performs the rift opening spell. Unchained and ever resourceful, Lucifer breaks from his captors and jumps back into his world, with the door closing behind him. Michael’s a little pissed.

Lucifer ends up in Cincinnati, getting pity cash from a snobby divorcee. He doesn’t take kindly to her condescension, and tries blasting her, but it appears his powers are mostly depleted.

Throne Room

Asmodeus interrogates the front desk clerk from the Stampede Motel, and getting nothing out of him, has a minion stab him through the heart. Asmodeus is then hit with a wallop of Lucifer-is-home juice.

On the Case

The witch takes Sam and Dean back to her safe house in the woods. She reveals she escaped the serial killer, and how he tortures his victims --a red hot knife to the neck. He’s looking for the location of the witch, Rowena MacLeod. WEEEEEEE! Rowena!! Sam and Dean also confirm that they are looking for Ketch --or his doppleganger. They use the witch for bait, and capture themselves a (not)dead (not)British Man of Letters.

Bunker

Ketch is tied up and getting the full brunt of Dean’s anger. They don’t have him in the dungeon why?? Also, Ketch spins a deliciously ridiculous story of misidentification and twin brothers. Yes, he’s Alexander Ketch, Arthur’s less-loved twin. “Do I look stupid to you?” Dean asserts. After punching him, Dean humors Alexander and listens to his sob story. He’s a monster mercenary.

So it's back to research. Sam pulls up Alexander Ketch records from the US government as well as from the British Men of Letters database he'd duplicated at the end of Season 12.

Sam tries to rehash the events of Arthur’s death with Dean because Dean isn't buying Ketch's story for a hot minute. Mary shot Ketch and then they dumped his body in the waste canal. Which. HOLD PLEASE. 1) You wouldn't burn him, thereby preventing his ghost from hanging around and 2) someone is gonna find that body – you don't think they're gonna start an investigation? Dudes. DUDES.

Sam sits down for a more casual interrogation, where he calls Ketch immoral and unloyal. This automatically triggers Ketch's defense. “Alexander Ketch” protests that Arthur Ketch was a very good company man and that, were he there, he would “admit regret” to some things he'd done to the Winchesters. Uh huh.

We switch to Cas's secret meeting with Duma, the angel. They meet by the sandbox portal and Cas tells her that he's looking for Jack. Duma tells him that the angels don't have him, but if they DID they'd totally be using Jack to make more angels. Since they'd lost so many angels after the Fall, they need to create more or their kind will go extinct.

“You're planning to enslave him for some kind of experiment,” Cas says with horror just as the sandbox ignites and two more angels enter the playground. It's an “if you're not with us you're against us” situation. The angels attack Cas as soon as he refuses to work with them and Duma quickly gets the upper hand, pressing an angel blade to Cas’s throat.

Suddenly Lucifer speaks up from the edge of the park. He vaguely threatens the angels and then his eyes glow red. The other angels flee, leaving Cas to face Lucifer. Lucifer doubles over, coughing. “What are you doing back in this world?” Cas asks.

“What are you doing alive?” Lucifer asks, looking somewhat entertained by this situation.

“You're weak,” Cas says with a snarl but Lucifer holds him off with a threat that he's still banking a fair amount of archangel strength – depleted grace or not. He tells Cas that there's a world-threatening menace coming for them. So we switch to…

Cas and Lucifer hang out at Nick's Bar (har) where Lucifer tries to convince him to join forces. Cas says, “Hypothetically let's say you're lying...and I help you find your son and then you kill me again.” Lucifer insists that they have a case and they can be a happy super team. But Cas wants to run it all past Sam and Dean. Lucifer asks where his son is...impressed at how well Cas hid him. Cas has to admit that Jack is AWOL.

Back at the bunker Dean gets a phone call to his FBI phone. He learns that the front desk clerk at the Stampede Hotel went missing and the chief suspect is Asmodeus. Ketch interrupts...wandering around in hand chains and eating a sandwich. Dean is an inferno of pissed off at this freedom while Sam tries to explain his general goodness and attempts at humane treatment. Oh, Sam, you sweet little muffin.

Cas calls Dean from the bathroom hallway of the bar and is just about to spill the beans to him when Lucifer walks up. “Yes,” Cas improvises quickly. “I would like to see you too. The sooner the better.” Lucifer hangs up the phone and Dean's left staring at his own phone.

“Something didn't seem right,” Dean says. They lock up Ketch in the bunker, then track Cas's phone to the bar. Dean is the dictionary definition of worry.

Cas and Lucifer have moved their conversation to the bar – Lucifer continuing to try to wear down Cas and get him to agree to a teamup. All of a sudden, Asmodeus wanders in to the tune of thunderclaps. Evil Colonel Sanders and Lucifer have a dick measuring contest showdown and Asmodeus power blasts him and Cas against the bar.

Dean and Sam arrive a little while later to a bar that shows some signs of a struggle. They’re about to call an all-clear when demons armed with angel blades jump out and quickly outnumber them. The demons get the drop on the Winchesters when taRA taRAAA Ketch busts in to save the day. Dean and Ketch dispatch the rest of the demons, Dean watching Ketch at the end of the fight. “How did you get out of the armory?” Dean asks.

“Lock pick. If you'd done the prescribed cavity search--” (Me: tries and fails not to picture exactly where Ketch keeps his lockpick kit.) Ketch asks Dean where his angel is.

“Not sure,” Dean replies cooly. “But I am sure who you are. Arthur.” He recognized the way Arthur fought. The way he asked about Mary. Arthur admits that he's a mercenary working for people deep underground. He's hunting Rowena – who had sewn a powerful charm into her body to resurrect her. He'd gotten Rowena to do the same for him, then let her go. The only problem is that once the device is used it needs to be recharged. He needs Rowena for that. While the Winchesters protest that she's dead, Ketch insists otherwise.

Dean prepares to kill Ketch and Ketch sets off a flash grenade and escapes on his purloined motorcycle. He speeds off into the distance.

Later, Dean calls Cas from the Impala. “Cas” tells Dean that he's out following a lead and that he's fine. Really, Cas is in prison at Hell headquarters, along with Lucifer. Asmodeus - who was pretending to be Cas - is pleased. Lucifer's under his control, Cas is insurance in case the Winchesters cause trouble, and Jack will be a useful prisoner if AU Michael ever busts through to their world.

Asmodeus lays out his world domination plans to...KETCH. They're working together. Dun dun DUN.

Boris: People seem upset that of all the people for the show to bring back, they bring back Ketch. Why not Charlie? Why not Eileen? I can’t decide if this is legitimate hope, or what, but I think having Ketch back is smart. I certainly wouldn’t want Charlie or Eileen in this role. It’s going to be a long 10+ weeks without Cas. We’ll be distracted with Wayward (whoot!) but I almost think this Casiatus is going to hurt more than the summer. And, please no on the Lucifer redemption arc.

War of the Quotes:

The guy had creative chops and optimism. I'll give him that.

Where I come from, God is a paradox.

The other you is dead.

I'm a vertebrate. Neither an annelid nor a nematode.

It's probably smart to question everything about Arthur Ketch.

This isn't gonna be one of those 'make my day moments' is it?

[lightshadowverisimilitude]

Purple Fog 3/?

Tony meets bb Tony!

[1][2]

As usual, mind the cut my mobile friends!

Tony could hear the two AIs communicating as a faint series of beeps and a low buzz. They could communicate silently if they wanted, but he thought they did it for their respective humans’ benefit, so it didn’t seem like they were talking behind Tony and Rhodey’s backs. Tony clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and examined Bolo’s read-out. The armor wasn’t identical to his, or any of his – the jaw section of the helmet was given the illusion of being too narrow by a wider circumference around the forehead, and the panels weren’t precisely the same colors in the same places, but it was unmistakably Iron Man. He watched as the distant Iron Man flew straight up in the air and disappeared into the clouds.

“That’s interesting,” Tony said finally. He could sense the slight tension over the comms as the rest of the team waited to be filled in on what was interesting. “There is a Stark Tower on the campus with what looks an awful lot like… well, me, flying above it.”

“That’s not all,” Scott broke in before anyone else could respond. “I just saw someone who looks a lot like a younger me chatting with someone who looks a lot like a younger Black Widow.”

“And I’ve got eyes on a Captain America and Falcon playing pool. Well… Falcon is playing pool, and Cap is watching,” Hope added. “There is also a Spiderman, and either a kin wearing a Spiderman costume over a pig mask, or a pig in a Spiderman costume.”

“What the hell is going on here?” Steve asked, bewildered and sounding both angry and annoyed. Tony could relate.

“I don’t know,” Hope answered, “But what I’m not seeing is anything that looks at all like an invasion force, unless you count the penguins. There are a lot of them wandering around the campus.”

“Yeah, one almost ate me,” Scott put in.

“You shouldn’t have been flying so close to its face,” Hope said.

“I wanted to see if it was real! It was holding a giant gun in its flippers!”

An alert flared in Tony’s ear, knocking him out of Rhodey’s display and back into his own. His proximity alarms were going crazy as the tree above him started to shake. He fired jets and repulsors, flinging himself backwards as a shape solidified above him and dropped out of the branches with a loud crash. Iron Man hit the forest floor in a hollow boom, dead leaves and dark loam flying up around him.

“I’ve been spotted!” he called out. He touched down lightly and then shot sideways. The other Iron Man followed him into the trees. “Get back from the tree line!” he ordered. With the comms open, he could already hear running footsteps through the trees. He tossed a repulsor blast behind him, but there was no returning shot as he wove around a pair of tree trunks and into the air. Iron Man chased after him, even more nimble in the suit than Tony.

“He doesn’t have as much firepower as we do,” Tadashi said, “but I think he’s faster.”

Tony broke left and fired all of his retro thrusters so hard that he lost several meters of altitude in the process. His stomach dropped, and he felt a moment’s vertigo, but Iron Man shot over his head, leaving his back exposed as Tony regained his altitude and then some. He ended up above Iron Man with his shoulder rockets out and aimed.

Iron Man flipped over so he was flying on his back. It was an impressive maneuver that Tony only attempted when he was flying for fun, or dire necessity. In that position, Iron Man had to keep both of his arms angled down and backward to stabilize himself, and Tony knew from experience that it was hell on the abdominal muscles, even he locked the hip and shoulder joints and rested into the backplate.

“I’ve never met another me before,” Iron Man called over the wind as they flew together, their speed and courses matched to nearly rest-relative. “We’ve had duplicates before – we’re lousy with Spidermans and Spiderwomans, but you’re the first alternate Iron Man. Are you me in there, or in your universe are you like… Steve Rogers?”

Getting over the shock of it, Tony said, “I guess whether or not I’m you depends on whether or not you’re me.”

Iron Man laughed. “Alright, that’s true. Want to take this to the ground? I’ve got some pretty fantastic abs, but this is killin’ me!”

Tony looked past Iron Man’s shoulder to see that they’d left the trees behind and were flying over the campus. In a large square bordered by benches on one side and what looked like an announcement board in the adjacent corner were dozens of upturned faces. Tadashi helpfully ran recognition and pointed out people they “knew:” Steve, looking ludicrously young and dressed in a tight t-shirt with his silver star on the breast and a pair of cargo pants; Spiderman, flanked by the pig-shaped Spiderman Hope had seen and a young woman in a white hoodie; Natasha in a red bodycon suit with a black motorcycle jacket and red glasses; Sam in his Falcon gear; Rhodey as a young man in a gray digital camouflage and a shoulder rig; Vision in a long yellow coat, and the Hulk looming at one side of the square with his massive arms crossed over his equally massive chest. There were dozens more that Tony couldn’t identify, including what looked like a raccoon in a leather vest with a gun.

“Doesn’t seem like I have much choice,” Tony said finally. He pulled the shoulder rockets back into their housing and rolled right, letting Iron Man turn over. Switching back to the internal comm line, he said, “Get back to the rendezvous and stay out of sight. I’m going to land and see what’s going on here.”

“Iron Man… Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Steve asked tightly.

“I don’t have a lot of choice at the moment, but I don’t think they realize you’re here yet. Just get clear, stay under cover, and wait for my word.” Tony pulled up in a hover, watching Iron Man do the same. Keeping pace with his counterpart, Tony lowered himself to the ground. Underneath them, the crowd of bodies parted to leave them a clear landing zone.

“We’ve got your six, Iron Man,” Scott whispered. “Well, I’ve got your six. Hope has your… Eleven-thirty?”

Tony felt his right eye twitch. “Thanks.”

As soon as they were on solid ground, Iron Man reached up and tapped the side of his neck. The faceplate opened and the helmet peeled back, revealing a face Tony hadn’t seen in decades – himself, maybe nineteen or twenty years old, before the world had etched care and trauma into the corners of his eyes. Tony was so stunned by it that he could only stare, his breath coming in shaky waves that echoed hard inside the helmet.

“Boss? Based on facial recognition –”

“It’s me,” Tony broke in. “That’s me.”

“So,” Tony’s younger self asked, “Are you here to start a fight? If you are, you need to register with Hill – she’s in charge of organizing those things. I can take you to the admin building if you want. Did you bring minions? Please tell me it’s robots! I can make robots to fight your robots. Steve is gonna be so mad,” he continued excitedly, pumping his fist into the air.

Tony held up a hand before the manic gleam in the younger man’s eyes got past the point of idea to activity – Tony remembered that feeling very well, the swelling excitement, the way his legs used to tingle with the need to move and get things accomplished, when he’d felt so flooded with energy and anticipation that it felt like he was going to explode. Tony hesitated, but then reached up and retracted his own helmet.

“Oh,” the young Tony said disappointedly, “You’re old.” He squinted his eyes. “You better not be Howard.”

Tony saw a rustle of movement behind the young Iron Man and Rhodey stepped up to his side. The sight of him made Tony’s breath catch – this was the James Rhodes that he’d been more than half in love with as a boy, the James Rhodes who had befriended him at MIT and spoke up for him quietly among the other students, but never stepped in front of Tony when he was confronted directly. The James Rhodes that had calmed the wild anger in Tony’s chest and helped him move past the pain and disappointment of Howard’s abuse and his mother’s neglect. He’d held Tony’s hand at his parents’ funeral, and nursed him through dozens of hangovers. This young face, too, had not yet felt the crushing weight of wars, wasn’t terrorized by nightmares, or disenchanted by politics.

“I’m not Howard,” Tony breathed. His throat was tight and he could feel the prickling burn of tears at the corner of his eyes. “I’m.” He cleared his throat and pushed aside the flood of memories from the happy years at MIT. “My name is Tony Stark. I’m not sure what’s going on here, but I’m not here to fight you. No robots necessary.”

Young Tony looked so immediately despondent that Tony almost apologized, but the young Rhodey put an arm around his shoulders. “Why don’t we go supe up the roombas so they can chase after the penguins?”

Iron Man perked up and twisted to look into the crowd. He grinned at Sam standing stoically at the young Steve’s side, and then said, “I think I have a better idea.”

“My God,” Tony said, finally really looking around the gathered crowd. “You’re all so young.”

None of them looked like they could be older than twenty-five, and most looked significantly younger. He flicked his wrists to roll his gauntlets back and rubbed at his face, pushing his thumbs into his temples to feel the pressure of it. He couldn’t figure out what was happening, or how these kids could have been responsible for the fog surrounding New York. He couldn’t even figure out how these could possible exist.

After several moments of quiet, a rustle of chatter went through the crowd. They parted slowly, and Nick Fury walked through the opening with his hands clasped behind his back. Behind him, a tall, willowy man with blond hair and a goatee, a woman in a black and green leather outfit that screamed Dominatrix, and a Viking who stood head, shoulders, and most of his chest over Nick’s head. He didn’t recognize the other three – though he had a sinking suspicion about the Viking – but even Nick look young. Older, perhaps, than the kids around them, but young. Maybe middle thirties.

“Welcome to Avengers Academy, Iron Man,” Nick greeted, and he had an actual smile on his face. Tony hadn’t seen Nick Fury smile since he’d been a boy, maybe not since before Howard and Mom’s funeral.

“Nick,” Tony greeted cautiously. “What exactly is Avengers Academy?”

“Training grounds for heroes,” Nick provided readily. He made a broad gesture with one hand, inviting Tony to look around them. More buildings, very few of them following the same style. He could see the golden tower to one side, a cylinder of a building beyond that, the lab Steve had mentioned with a sparking set of Tesla coils on top, behind Tony was a stadium, and just barely visible beyond that was what looked like a Gladiatorial arena.

Tony eyed the surrounding kids, Nick Fury looking half his age, the Hulk standing more-or-less tamely among a crowd of people, even Vision, somehow looking like a teenager. He locked eyes with Nick. Their relationship had soured after Tony’s parents’ death, but Nick had once been “Uncle Nick” to him, had been a friend to Jarvis and Peggy, had been at Tony’s birthdays and the Thanksgiving table.

“Are you responsible?” Tony asked, gesturing behind him to the wall of fog visible over the tree tops. “Have you done this?”

CUT

He could have been imagining it, but he thought Nick’s good eye widened at the question before his expression shut down in that mask that had eventually driven a wedge between them. Inscrutable, hiding secrets he refused to divulge even if it meant lives, even if it meant Tony’s life. Tony felt a rash of disappointment and turned away from him.

“We’re not,” the young Steve spoke up. “We’ve been trapped here for…Whew. As long as I can remember.”

Tony nodded faintly. “In my... universe,” he said, trying not to laugh, “the city of New York has been surrounded by this fog. All the probes I sent through came here. I’m here to bring it down.”

Nick snorted, “You’re welcome to try.” He held up one hand to forestall Tony’s immediate response and added, “We didn’t put it here, but it sounds like we’ve been working a lot longer than you to bring it down. We’ve had some very minor success, but, as you can see, it’s still there.”

The young Iron Man snapped his fingers in sudden excitement and ran off through the crowd, nudging people out of the way. Rhodey widened his stance to step into the place his friend had just abandoned, crossing his arms and eyeing Tony suspiciously. It was surreal, staring at Rhodey and thinking how young and innocent, and happy he looked. The crowd broke into small groups of whispering young people, but the feel of it was so different than the times he’d been on college campuses. The morning Steve and his team were supposed to be in Lagos, Tony was supposed to be preparing for a talk at MIT to announce the September Foundation and the scholarships for MIT students. He’d granted scholarships to universities and community college before, had run a smaller program through the Maria Stark foundation for women in STEM for almost a decade. He was used to college kids, but these kids were different. Some of them were younger even than he was used to facing, but they were weighed down with weapons and some of them were even dressed in ridiculous costumes, and some of them stood next to their twins. It was eerie.

After several long minutes passed where the chatting grew gradually louder, and some of the kids even lost interest and wandered away, Iron Man returned carrying two of Tony’s drones against his chest. He jostled them in his arms. “These are yours?”

Tony bobbed his head.

“We found almost fifty of them in the woods,” Nick said. “That’s a lot of drones for one man to come through on his own.”

“I only ever got one of them to come back,” Tony pointed out reasonably.

“That makes sense,” Iron Man said easily. “I’ve been sending drones in forever, and I’ve never gotten any of them to come back. I know I wouldn’t take anyone else through the fog with me if I wasn’t sure they’d even make it through. Did you ever find any of mine?”

Tony shook his head mutely. “The fog has only been in New York for a few days.”

Iron Man frowned. “We’ve managed to uncover areas of the fog that seem like they’ve been just brought here from other places. Maybe… Maybe the fog is trying to take your city and bring it here.”

Tony pointed between two of the buildings at the familiar crush of skyscrapers and apartments beyond the walls of the academy. “Looks like you have a New York City of your own already here.”

Iron Man waved one hand awkwardly, still clutching the drones against his chest. “There’s only about three blocks in and four down to the dock. After that, it’s just fog. The buildings are all fake – there’s no way in to any of them. Doors and windows are covered up by concrete, the manholes are painted onto the street. Out to sea, you could go on forever and ever, but there’s nothing.”

Examining his younger self and all the young kids arranged around him, Tony said, “There were eddies in the fog.”

“I thought those might be portals,” Iron Man interrupted. “But I’ve never been able to get anything to transmit through them. I even tried to send some of your drones. I’ve repaired – and seriously, also, just to let you know, improved on – well, Moongirl I did, but whatever. We made them better. We’ve sent thirteen of them through. Nothing transmits, nothing comes back.”

Tony swallowed and let out a controlled breath. They’d all known there was a chance that it would be a one way trip. He just hoped that their one way trip didn’t spell out the end for the city they’d left behind. “That changes things,” he decided. “I was hoping for someone to punch in the face.”

“Just what we need, another punch happy idiot.”

The voice inspired an immediate reaction in Tony. Snapping the gauntlets back up, Tony charged the repulsors and whirled to point them at Loki. The whole quad reacted, weapons charging and fists coming up. Startled, Loki as a boy just as young as the others, put both of his hands up. His eyes were almost comically wide, and God, he looked like any prep school punk Tony had gone to school with – black hair neatly disheveled, dressed in black and green blazer and matching pants. The only thing he carried that Tony’s classmates hadn’t, was a familiar golden staff.

“Loki,” Tony greeted tightly. He remembered Clint screaming his way out of nightmares, Bruce startling himself awake when he’d fallen asleep at a table, checking his skin for a hint of green pigment in a panic. He remembered the sight of the Chitauri ships through the portal into the void, the pressure of it against his skin, Jarvis’ voice fading out.

“Have we met?” Loki asked. His voice broke in the middle of it, turning the question into a squeak.

Tony looked around unhappily. He was surrounded, vastly outnumbered, and whatever madness was going on in this place, Loki – this teenage boy – was a part of it. He knew that Loki had the power to change his shape, and wondered if the whole situation could be of Loki’s creation. What would he possibly have to gain by inserting himself into a world where he and all of earth’s heroes were little more than children, trapped in an interminable fog?

From the crowd behind Loki, a larger figure pushed past a young blond woman in green and gold. Thor, looking like a frat boy linebacker, put a big hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“I don’t know you, Iron Man,” Thor rumbled, “But if you are at all the man who has been my friend, please. Lower your weapon.”

Loki glowered up at him, but Thor looked even more open, and cheerful, and guileless than he had the first time Tony had seen him grinning at the hellicarrier as if charmed by the futile attempts at technology of his human hosts. Tony looked right and left, and then noticed the specks of flying ants drifting lazily over Loki’s head. It wasn’t just Tony’s safety at sake – if he attacked, Hope and Scott would give themselves away trying to help, and they wouldn’t help balance the odds at all. Without his helmet up, he couldn’t tell them to back off privately, and if he said anything aloud, it would just give away their position.

Tony slowly lowered his arm. A grin broke out across Thor’s face and he pounded Loki happily on the back. Loki stumbled under the force of it, and then straightened up and gave Thor a poisonous glare. At least that hadn’t changed.

“I think we’re on the same side, here,” Nick said after a tense moment while the whine of Tony’s repulsors faded. “So why don’t you ask your friends to come out of the trees, and we can sit down to a meal, and talk about this like adults?”

Looking at all the relative children around him, Tony sighed. He could try to deny that he had in friends in the trees at all, but he could tell from the cant of Nick’s lips that he knew already. The trees were thin, and unless Steve made the extremely risky decision of trying to retreat back through the fog, they had nowhere to go. He pulled his helmet back up and keyed into the comm system. A burst of low, urgent arguing immediately flooded the airwaves.

“There’s no place we can retreat to, and we don’t have the gear or supplies for some kind of cat and mouse game, not with how small this forest is. If we’re going to go in and get him back, we have to do it now before they know we’re here.”

“I think Tony’s handling it fine,” Hope argued.

“Tony is handling it fine,” Tony broke in. “Whatever weirdness is going on here, I don’t think these people are controlling the fog, and they’ve been studying it a lot longer than we have. If we have any chance of getting this fog lifted from New York, I think we’re going to have to work together. Though keeping Peter, Hope, and Scott hidden away might not be a bad idea. Just in case.”

Silence followed while everyone chewed over Tony’s words. He could practically hear Steve’s gears grinding. “If you think we can trust them,” he said with a breath.

“I think we don’t have a lot of other choices,” Tony corrected. “Kid-Loki is here.”

“And that led you to the conclusion that we can trust them?” Rhodey demanded.

“He’s a kid,” Tony stressed. “Patch into my display.” There was a beep and then a small round picture of his best friend caught with his mouth comically open as he chased a sliding string of cheese from a piece of pizza popped up in the right-hand corner.

“Hey, Bolo,” Tadashi greeted. “Check this guy out.”

Tony turned his head so Loki was once again centered in the display. Like everyone around him, Loki was eyeing Tony suspiciously. He looked even younger with his mouth pursed in displeasure and eyebrows knitted together.

“Woah,” Rhodey said finally. He huffed out a breath. “I still don’t like it.”

“We can’t go back through the fog – my… younger self has never gotten a single drone, even mine to get through the fog. There’s nowhere in the forest to hide, the city is filled with fake buildings, the ocean is apparently endless. What other choice do we have?”

“No,” Steve broke in. “We don’t. Alright, Hope, Scott – find some place to hide and stay small as long as you can. Peter, back up in the trees. Stay out of sight and stay on the comms. Keep an eye on the campus and let us know if you see anything weird going on.”

“Cap?” Hope broke in, “I think.” She cleared her throat. “I think my parents are down there. Some version of them. My mother is younger than I am.”

“We’re not interested in fighting if we don’t have to,” Steve said gently. “And once we know what we’re up against, you can talk to them.”

She said nothing, but made a vague noise of agreement.

Tony pushed his helmet back and flashed a smile at the surrounding crowd. More of them had moved away, leaving Tony surrounded by what seemed to be a core group of characters – Nick and his three companions, Captain America, Iron Man, Black Widow, the girl he’d seen earlier in her yellow shorts, War Machine, Falcon, Thor and Loki.

They waited in uneasy silence until motion at the tree line caught their attention. Steve came through first, his shield out but arm down at his side. Rhodey, Sam, and Natasha followed afterward. They were tense as they moved down the path to the square, and their younger counterparts spread out to meet them.

The young Rhodey poked at War Machine’s tank armor, examining it curiously. “Cool,” he decided.

Rhodey retracted the helmet. He hiked an eyebrow at his younger self, and then finally said, “Tony and I made it.” He gave Tony an uncertain glance over War Machine’s head. “Cool shoulder rig.”

War Machine gave him a sly look. “Tony and I made it,” he said.

“This is going to be fun,” Tony muttered.

“Way fun,��� Iron Man agreed. He held up a fist, and then cautiously added, “Iron Man bros?”

Tony glanced down at his fist, and then thought of how many times he’d been brushed aside by an adult, an older student, a potential friend. He summoned up a smile and tapped his knuckles against his younger counterparts. “Iron Man bros,” he agreed.

[hypexion]

It’s time for random thoughts on the five Knights of the Frozen Throne cards which (mostly) aren’t really gameplay related!

1. What’s up with Keleseth’s art? Is he wearing a scarf, or does he just have a really wide mouth?

2. Has Build-a-Beast been tested with Weasel Tunneler? On one hand, this is a really important thing to test, but on the other, Weasel Tunneler had a whole bunch of issues when it was released.

3. On the topic of shuffling, will Zombeasts work correctly with Mirror Entity? Or Manic Soulcaster? Gang Up is a Wild only card, so has that been checked? Really my faith in Team 5′s testing is pretty low.

4. Shallow Gravedigger isn’t really the card I’d show to start up the hype machine. It’s not really that interesting. Or good.

5. Deathstalker Rexxer has some really big ears. I guess he echo-locates or something? Or is Bat-Rexxer.

6. Keleseth makes me wonder if ‘filler Legendary‘ is an actually thing Team 5 makes. It would explain some of the clearly unplayable Legendary cards in the game.

7. Dreadscale text + Poisonous is the best Wild Zombeast.

8. Are there any beasts with Inspire?

9. I sure hope we don’t have another set where each class has two legendary cards. Those things have a 1% drop rate.

10. The one good thing about no >5 mana beasts is that in Wild, you won’t be offered Acidmaw. I mean Dreadscale and Acidmaw’s effects are clearly in Warrior’s sphere, but Acidmaw suffers for it way more.

11. But seriously, dynamic Discover pools are obviously a thing, since Drakonoid Operative and Shadow Vision are things. Why not just limit the the second beast’s mana cost? It will always be a ‘French Vanilla’ minion anyway.

[manicminions-blog]

Team Manic Minions are recruiting!!!!  

We are looking for some ABNOSOME people to join us this year and help us kick butt!

We have several returning members from previous years but have a few spots open!  

We are looking for dedicated individuals ready to be competitive and win!

Doesn't matter if its your first year or your a Gishwhes veteran!  We want to hear from you!!!  

If your interested in joining us - drop is a line on here or at  Manicminionsofmisha@gmail.com

Or just search for our team on the Gishwhes Website : ManicMinions

Its gonna be a great year!!!!

[girl-next-door-writes]

If She Knew What She Wants.

Characters: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Bucky likes you and you like Steve who is totally oblivious.  

Word Count: 1990 words

Prompt: Wanted by Hunter Hayes “You make me feel happy inside and out.”

A/N: I’ve been suffering a little bit of writers block recently but Bucky has been a dream to write for this one.  This is for @paigeinastory anniversary challenge and it was a pleasure to be part of this celebration.

He sat at the kitchen counter nursing his coffee and ignoring whatever Tony was ranting about.  He felt you enter the room before he saw you and he couldn’t help the sweet smile that graced his lips as he wished you good morning.  You had obviously been training with Romanov and as you slid onto the stool beside him and stole a slice of his toast he couldn’t help but think how beautiful you are.  It was a thought he had several times a day and each time he promised himself that one day he would tell you.  One day, but not today.  You had been the first to make him feel welcome at the compound, often diffusing the tension between him and Tony and he really didn’t know what he would do without you around.  There was just something about you that made him feel more like his old self, like you didn’t see The Winter Soldier whenever you looked at him, just Bucky. He had tried to test you plenty of times telling you about some of the atrocities he was personally responsible for, try to tell you he was a monster and each time you would just tilt your head squint at him as if studying his face before announcing with certainty that you definitely saw no signs of a monster in front of you, just a man, a man who was a damned good friend.  Your words simultaneously made his heart soar and sink.  You made him feel like being broken wasn’t a bad thing, that he actually made sense to you somehow and then you used the ‘friend’ word.

You were nibbling on the toast watching Stark pacing and muttering to himself. “How many of those have you had Tony?” You asked as you indicated the mug of coffee in his hand.  

“Today or in the past hour?” he shot back at you and you sighed, removing the drink from his hand.  As Bucky gazed at you he saw your face light up and he knew immediately that Steve had walked into the room.  It’s not like he could blame you, Steve was pretty damn near perfect and with what he had done… yeah, there was only one super soldier you would look at twice in that way.  The whole team knew about your crush on Captain Wonderful, the whole team except Steve that is who remained perfectly ignorant of your feelings.  Bucky wished that he could be the reason for your smile, that he could make you laugh as easily as his best friend.  Your laugh was one of his all-time favourite sounds and anytime he was the cause of it he felt so happy he could just burst.  He knew how badly you hurt each time Steve unintentionally brushed you off because that’s exactly how you made him feel and all he wanted to do was to show you just how amazing you truly are but he had resigned himself to being in his best friends shadow

“You excited about the party later?” you smiled brightly at your fearless leader and were rewarded with one of those warm Rogers smiles that made your heart flutter in your chest.  

“On this occasion, I can honestly say I am.”  The blond nodded at you as he made his way to the fridge and your eyes followed his every movement.  

“Well if I can’t find alternative entertainment for this shindig then it might not be happening.”  Stark grumbled.

“The 40’s theme was your idea.  What’s happened to the entertainment?  I thought you had a band lined up.”  Your voice held a little panic.  You had been planning your outfit for the past few weeks and were hoping this would be the moment that Steve would finally notice you, maybe ask you to dance.

“I did but the lead vocalist has broken her leg and apparently, that stops you singing so…” he griped as he punched numbers into the tablet in his hand.

“Well if you need help just let me grab a shower and get changed and I will report for party planning duty.” You mock saluted causing Bucky to grin into his coffee.  Sliding off the stool your arm brushed against his and his eyes automatically shot to you as they did at any physical contact between the two of you.  “Just don’t give me the shitty jobs Stark.” You call over your shoulder as you head towards your quarters to get ready for a day of being Tony’s party minion. You didn’t feel Bucky’s eyes on you as you left the room but they never left you until you had turned the corner and were out of sight.

 Tony had kept you busy most of the day with prep and it was times like this you really missed Pepper.  The party was being held at the Tower so Nat and Wanda came over to get ready.  “Aaarrrggghh!” you huff slamming your hairbrush down on the dressing table.  “Victory rolls are not as easy as people have been telling me!  This is the third attempt and it’s still uneven.”

“Come here darling.” Wanda soothed as she picked up the brush and began to smooth out your hair to prepare for another attempt.  Natasha bend over to look in the mirror to apply her lipstick and of course she looked amazing.

“It’s so unfair, not only is your eyeliner amazingly on point but you got your hair to do that first time.” You whined at your friend feeling that you were never going to be ready for this party and even if you were then you would look like a total mess.

“Don’t hate honey, some of us are just naturally gifted with precision.”  She smirked at you in the mirror as you rolled your eyes.

“I just want everything to be perfect, then maybe Steve will realise that he’s actually completely in love with me and can’t stand to be apart for a moment longer.”  Wanda giggles at your dramatic delivery and shakes her head.

“Keep still or you will be crooked again.”  Smiling at her in the mirror you try to sit as still as you can but you couldn’t help wonder what he would think of your outfit.  Such a stunning shade of blue with bright red lipstick that ensured you would be drinking through a straw for the rest of the evening.  Wanda sprayed your hair liberally with hairspray and stepped back to survey her masterpiece.

“You’re so focused on Steve that just maybe you are overlooking a super soldier who has been pining for you for at least the last six months.” Natasha hummed quietly with a smirk.

“What?” You frowned at her with confusion.  Surely if someone had shown an interest in you then you would have noticed, right?

“Just think about it.  Whenever you’ve been bored or feeling a little down who has been the first to notice?” You continue to watch her reflection in the mirror but for some reason the dots don’t seem to be connecting.  

“What about when you can’t sleep?  Who stays up all night watching boxsets with you on the sofa?”  Wanda smiles softly at you, trying to gently guide you to the realisation.

“Well, Buck but that’s only because he doesn’t sleep.”  You reason.

“Alright then, who makes you cocoa exactly how you like it but doesn’t make anyone else a drink?  Who has recently read your favourite book just so he can talk to you about it?  Who always sides with you over what movie to watch when it comes to team movie night?  Who lends you his hoodie anytime he sees that you’re cold?  Who exactly was it that drove all the way into the city from the bunker to pick up Chinese from that restaurant you like that doesn’t deliver?” Nat had her arms folded across her chest as she looked at your reflection and your eyes flitted from hers to Wanda’s.

“Are you trying to tell me…” you breath out still trying to process her words.

“That James Buchanan Barnes is completely in love with you?  Yeah, that’s pretty much what I’m telling you so maybe you might want to quit chasing a pipe dream and grab hold of something amazing that’s right in front of you.”  Nat pats you on the shoulder and leaves the room with a grin.  

 Before you entered you could hear the music and the general buzz.  You imagined Tony schmoozing with guests and the alcohol flowing freely.  Standing at the top of the stairs looking down into the room your eyes scanned for Nat and Wanda.  A soft smile came to your lips as you saw your friends waving manically at you before you noticed Natasha was also gesturing across the room.  You frowned at her before looking over to where she was indicating and your eyes landed on a pair of familiar stormy grey eyes, but honestly if it wasn’t for those beautiful eyes you might not have recognised him at first glance.  He had shaved and had a haircut.  He was in dress uniform with his cap at a jaunty angle and jaw slack as he watched you descend the staircase and make your way towards him and Steve.  “You…you…” he stuttered before Rogers cut in.

“You look beautiful tonight.  Would you like to dance?”  He extended his hand towards you and you noticed Buckys shoulders droop as he looked anywhere but at you.

“Thanks Cap but I was kinda hoping Barnes might do the honours.” You smile softly as Bucky looks up at you in surprise and slight confusion. “Whadda ya say Buck?  Care to take me for a spin around the dance floor?”  There was a pause and for one awful moment you thought maybe Nat had been wrong, that you had massively overthought everything and right now you were making a fool of yourself.  

“It would be a privilege to have you on my arm doll.” He smiled brightly and he saw your eyes light up.  He had made your eyes light up like that, not Steve, him, James Buchanan Barnes, and he felt his heart pounding in his chest so loud he was sure you must be able to hear it.  Taking your hand, he led you to the dance floor and led you through dance after dance with ease.  Spinning round with you in his arms was better than his best dreams and as the music slowed he pulled you closer and raised his eyebrows in surprise as you brought your hands up to his neck and his hands came to rest on the base of your back.  Swaying together in time with the music he couldn’t take his eyes off your face and you smile softly up at him.  He always made you feel safe and warm, how had you not realised before just how amazing this man was?  “Can I tell you something?”  He asked hesitantly and you nod.

“You can tell me anything Bucky, you know that.” You encourage and he takes a deep breath to steady his nerves.

“You make me feel happy inside and out.  I know you don’t see me in that way but I just wanted to tell you that you are amazing and beautiful and deserve to be with someone who makes you feel as special as you really are.”  He looks at you so earnestly he looks a little like a lost school boy.  You trace your fingertips down his jaw, letting your thumb glide over his lower lip before you raise up on your tiptoes, tilting your face towards his, your eyes closing as your lips meet.  It took him a moment to respond because he was in shock but as soon as he realised this was actually happening he deepened the kiss and it was as if you were the only people in the room.

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[pessimistpress]

One-up People

One-up People

 By Doctor Pessimist

   If you are expecting a strategy guide for Super Mario games, you are sorely mistaken. I was going to call this rant “Competitors,” but Manic Minion advised the title change. He wanted to troll you all, and I agreed to it. Now I have that out of the way, please, read the rest of this rant.

 Have you ever bought a video game, only for someone to say it runs better on their computer? Has someone stated that their car is better than yours? If you answered yes to those previous questions, then you have no doubt encountered a One-up Person. What are these One-people? They are individuals who try out-do everyone, when it comes to just about everything.

 Ever since I was a small child, I have endured the foolishness of these worthless peons. Whenever I announced I was joining a competition, some rival of mine wanted to out-do me. Whenever I bought a new bag, a classmate claimed to have a better bag than me. Also, when I tried showing off a new video game, a classmate claimed their games collection was far better than mine. Eventually, I stopped bothering to be happy, and fell into a depression.

 If I had my own way, these people would be too depressed to do anything. Think how wonderful life would be, if people weren’t in such a competitive mood. Join Team Pessimist now.

 Stay negative.