pessimistpress

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Midnight Melody

By Doctor Pessimist

Midnight Melody was a wonderful store from my past.

There was a woman who sold incredible music.

It was the type of music that could relax you.

I remember going there when I was a child.

I recall hearing the ocean sounds on the speakers.

Of course, my parents never purchased the music.

I had to make do with the music from the speakers.

Midnight Melody's closure was so heartbreaking.

There would never be another beautiful store.

I will never forgive my parents for this deep pain.

Another piece of my childhood is gone forever.

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Sunday Sock Puppet Scoop!

Cock-a-doodle-dildo! Oh, is it really the end of the week? Kids! It's looking gloomy outside again. Is Persephone still in the Underworld? Dammit! Timmy wants it to be bright and sunny. So, what dumb fallacy are the sheep going to fall for? Last year, they fell for the False Equivalence fallacy. Who knows? Maybe the sheep will get smarter, and stop falling for fallacies? (Yeah, right!) Next week, things are back to normal. The Pessimist Press Day will resume without fail. Good. I get bored when not doing projects. Well, that's it for this episode, kids. TTFN! - Manic Minion.

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Saturday Sock Puppet Post!

It is Saturday once again, you dozy sock puppets! Kids! It's cold, dark, and gloomy outside. Bring back the sunshine! Timmy and I will be doing half the shopping today. Doctor Pessimist will be doing some cleaning. Someone has to do it, eh? We took the Thursday off this week. Timmy and I went for a jolly stroll. It's good to leave the house now and again. Well, that's it for this episode, kids. TTFN! - Manic Minion.

[pessimistpress]

Manic Minion's Dildo Squad! Episode 395 - Mr. Beaver 3.

[pessimistpress]

Manic Minion's Crazy Craig! Episode 170 - Swiped!

[pessimistpress]

Wicked Words

By Doctor Pessimist

There was a time when humans lacked vocabulary.

There are words that hold an incredible power.

You must exercise caution when using such words.

There are some words that improve your mood.

Many words can make you extremely bitter.

Numerous words will always sting so much.

I should know. This has happened to me many times.

Throughout my childhood, I experienced hurtful words.

Teachers and students both used derogatory language.

Heck, I remember my parents telling lies to me a lot.

It doesn't matter. I spew my wicked words at people.

However, the words I speak are the unfiltered truth.

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Sunday Sock Puppet Scoop!

Cock-a-doodle-dildo! Oh, is it really the end of the week already? Kids! It's brightening up outside. Thank Dildo. (Did you recall that stupid gimmick, where I pretend to worship a dildo?) Timmy and I will be doing the remainder of the shopping today. Someone has to do it. Doctor Pessimist cannot leave the lair willy-nilly. He's a fugitive, ya see. I blame it on Tested Positive. Doctor Pessimist is being forced to relax. I will not have that man flirting with burnout. Even an evil genius like him needs a rest. Well, kids, that's it for this episode. TTFN! - Manic Minion.

[pessimistpress]

Saturday Sock Puppet Post!

It is Saturday once again, you dozy sock puppets! Kids! It's dark and gloomy right now. Ya know? Like that prick in the supermarket whom looks like they want to lie down. Well, can you blame them? They're stuck working in retail, after all. We've back-catalogued a lot more episodes for Rage Bait. When the hell are we posting Rage Bait? This year, after the B-Movie Barry episodes of Dildo Squad. They act as a backdoor pilot. Well, that's it for this episode, kids. TTFN! - Manic Minion.

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Manic Minion's Dildo Squad! Episode 394 - Mr Beaver 2!

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Manic Minion's Crazy Craig! Episode 169 - Stolen!

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Watercolour City

By Doctor Pessimist

I vaguely remember a store from my childhood.

The store sold some excellent art supplies.

My late uncle frequently took me to the location.

The store served as a haven for such creativity.

My uncle bought me some basic art supplies.

I used to love colouring for days on end.

My parents didn't want me going there.

So I had to stop buying my art supplies.

Watercolour City closed shortly after.

I've never forgiven my parents for that.

I know I can purchase art supplies online.

I just miss a small part of my childhood.

[pessimistpress]

Sunday Sock Puppet Scoop!

Cock-a-doodle-dildo! Oh, is it really the end of the week again? Kids! Why the hell does the weekend have to be so short? Can't it last for about three days instead? Timmy deserves a rest from school. We're taking things easy, after we've done the shopping. We don't want to be reaching burnout, do we? The obvious answer is no. No doubt Tested Positive will be saying some nonsense today. Can't that man do us all a favour, and go back to his home world? Well, kids, that's it for this episode. TTFN! - Manic Minion.

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Saturday Sock Puppet Post!

It is Saturday once again, you dozy sock puppets! Kids! Is it my artificial imagination, or is it getting lighter? Yep. It's definitely getting lighter. Good. Timmy hates the dark. We're clown plowing our way through the Rage Rage strips. It may be best to post these ob here, and on Failbook. Sounds pretty good. I won't be showing these to my son. He looks at jolly stuff. Tested Positive is shilling for Valentine's Day; typical. I hate it that gobby dildo cream is spreading false lies. What is he? A televangelist? Well, he does ask for donations, so I guess he is? Well, kids, that's it for this episode. TTFN! - Manic Minion.

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Manic Minion's Dildo Squad! Episode 393 - Mr Beaver 1

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Manic Minion's Crazy Craig! Episode 168 - Trap!

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Embracing Grief

By Doctor Pessimist

Grief is an emotion most people experience.

Facing grief can either help or harm you.

You should never run from your grief, though.

Running away only makes the situation worse.

Trust me. I understand how painful grief can be.

My childhood trauma often reminds me of this.

Accepting your pain shows you will soon heal.

Some people cannot accept their pain at all.

I understand that dreadful feeling all too well.

However, I doubt I will ever be ready to heal.

That doesn't matter. I will somehow cope.

I just need to take this grief one step at a time.

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Sunday Sock Puppet Scoop!

Cock-a-doodle-dildo! Oh, is it really the end of the week? Kids! Timmy and I are doing the remainder of the shopping today. Doctor Pessimist would like to help. Considering he's technically a wanted fugitive, he has to stay out of sight, ya dig? Now, I am forcing Doctor Pessimist to take things easy. The man is flirting with burnout. I can understand why. He hasn't accomplished his grand scheme yet. Don't worry, he'll get there someday. Right, that's it for this episode, kids! TTFN! - Manic Minion.