Pessimist Press is created by Doctor A. Pessimist, and his psychotic robot Manic Minion! Feel free to read Doctor A. Pessimist's articles, and check out Manic Minion's awful comic Dildo Squad!
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Sunday Sock Puppet Scoop!
Cock-a-doodle-dildo!
Oh, is it really the end of the week already? Kids! It's looking bloody gloomy out there. What the hell? Aren't we supposed to be in spring? I sure as shirt thought we were! We're getting closer and closer to uploading Rage Bait. It won't be yet, though. We are doing a smooth transition of introducing said comic. We want to make sure y'all are fully prepared. Timmy and I are doing part two of the shopping today. It needs to be done. I'm thinking of getting the young lad some sweets, too. Don't worry, I only give him sweets sparingly; like as a reward. Well, kids, that's it for this episode. TTFN! - Manic Minion.
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Saturday Sock Puppet Post!
It is Saturday once again, you dozy sock puppets! Kids! We posted a B-Movie Barry episode of Dildo Squad recently. Do you know what that means? We'll be uploading Rage Bait this year! We have back-catalogued so many damned episodes! Well, the weather is gloomy, again. Seriously? I thought we were going to have sunshine and such. What the hell is going on? Is Mother Nature in one of her moods again? I think so! Well, that's it for this episode, kids. TTFN! - Manic Minion.
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Manic Minion's Dildo Squad! Episode 401 - B-Movie Barry 1!
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Manic Minion's Crazy Craig! Episode 176 - CAW!
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Wedding Woes
By Doctor Pessimist
The pressure to get married is far too great.
Marrying is not something many people desire.
I wasn't forced into marriage by my parents.
No. I had to do a lot of studying instead.
A lot of women have asked me out before.
However, I graciously turned down their offers.
I concentrated on my academic work instead.
I continued to avoid people after I graduated.
My situation changed because of my mutation.
Sorry, but I doubt I would be a good husband.
I know I’m still wanted by at least one woman.
But I don't think our marriage would last.
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Sunday Sock Puppet Scoop!
Cock-a-doodle-dildo! Oh, is it really the end of the week already? Kids! Timmy and I are doing the second half of the shopping today. It needs to be done, I'm afraid. We make sure we're well prepared. Doctor Pessimist has no choice but to stay home. That's what happens when you're a wanted supervillain. Tested Positive Is getting a raging boner over spring. That man never ceases to amazing me. He's the equivalent of flavourless crackers. Well, that's it for this episode, kids. TTFN! - Manic Minion.
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Saturday Sock Puppet Post!
It is Saturday once again, you dozy sock puppets! Kids! We've gotten more work done for Rage Bait! We have back catalogued so many damn episodes. There's no slowing down. It's nice and sunny out there. Good. Timmy and I need to do the shopping. We do the first half today, for those who care. Well, that's it for this episode, kids. TTFN! - Manic Minion.
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Manic Minion's Dildo Squad! Episode 400!
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Manic Minion's Crazy Craig! Episode 175 - Clones!
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Hollow Valley
By Doctor Pessimist
I recall the tale of the Hollow Valley.
When I was younger, I read this story.
The citizens of Hollow Valley are ghosts.
The residents of the town were well aware.
They initially appeared to hate their lot in life.
The ghosts learned to adjust. They haunt in peace.
A young couple finds themselves stranded here.
Thankfully, the ghosts do not harm this couple.
In the end, the couple befriend the local ghosts.
The couple must, of course, return to their home.
Thus, the ghosts also give a heartfelt goodbye.
I regret not being able to locate the book again.
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Sunday Sock Puppet Scoop!
Cock-a-doodle-dildo! Oh, is it really the end of the week? Kids! The days are getting brighter. Good. My Timmy cannot stand dark days. I understand how the young lad feels as well. We'll be doing the second half of the shopping today. Hey, it needs to be done. We need to make sure the fridge is fully stocked. Don't worry, I use a disguise when shopping; better safe than sorry. Well, that's it for this episode, kids. TTFN! - Manic Minion.
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Saturday Sock Puppet Post!
It is Saturday once again, you dozy sock puppets! Kids! We're slowly approaching spring! About time. I was getting bored of winter. Timmy was getting fed up with the cold air. Doctor Pessimist has been sorting out some new schemes. As his loyal assistant, I've been helping him in the lab. We've gotten more episodes done for Rage Bait. I have to say I am really proud of this one. It's going to be a fantastic scheme. Well, that's it for this episode, kids. TTFN! - Manic Minion.
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Manic Minion's Dildo Squad! Episode 399 - Mushroom Tip 3!
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Manic Minion's Craig Craig! Episode 174 - Aliens!
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Passion
By Doctor Pessimist
You must have a great passion for your work.
For hobbies as well, passion is really essential.
You need a strong passion for relationships.
Passion can also wane, wither, and die.
People, I know this feeling all too well.
I was passionate when I was a lot younger.
I put everything I had into my studies.
Making a lot of robots was my passion.
Initially, I wanted to make humanity better.
Unfortunately, the universe had other ideas.
Manic Minion, fortunately, is passionate.
I applied artificial passion to my robot.
Like when a parent encourages their child.
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Sunday Sock Puppet Scoop!
Cock-a-doodle-dildo! Oh, is it really the end of the week already? Kids! I's nice and sunny outside. Well, it's bloody cold. Go figures. It will hopefully get warmer soon. Timmy hates the cold you see. Mr. Hypocrite is being awfully quiet lately. Is he planning a new evil scheme? Or is he locked up tight? We're hoping the latter. The fewer competitors on the field, the easier the game, am I right? Well, that's it for this episode, kids. TTFN! - Manic Minion.
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Saturday Sock Puppet Post!
It is Saturday once again, you dozy sock puppets! Kids! We're making excellent progress with Rage Bait! We've back-catalogued tons of episodes. We're not running out of steam. Timmy and I will be doing the first half of the shopping today. We always do the second half on Sunday. We keep things simple. Tested Positive has been unusually quiet. What's he been up to? Is he hiding because he's afraid? Good. We prefer him to hide. Well, that's it for this episode, kids. TTFN! - Manic Minion.
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