#te quiero te quiero te quiero
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ecstarry · 4 months ago
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hi my love, you get enough of these from me as is ❣️ but you know i’d never pass up a chance for more of your pictures
hi my baby, i went a liiiittle crazy and couldn’t chose so here are lots of things that i think you might like <3
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d1strict12-peacek33per · 2 months ago
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Kinda freaking out over what’s going to happen later today rn at 5 o’clock in the morning bc I can’t sleep. Uhm. Yeah.
Anyway, shit you need to know:
You see I.C.E?
Yell, “La Migra.” (La-mee-grah)
Be as loud you possibly can.
They are supposed to be starting Raids in Chicago on Tuesday.
You know neurodivergent or queer people?
No the fuck you don’t.
Are you apart of that spectrum yourself?
Suddenly you aren’t.
Know trans people or trans yourself?
Nuh-uh.
Do you have immigrant family?
Tell them how to answer I.C.E if they come across them. (a bunch of shit on TikTok can tell about that)
If you have birth-right citizenship, you’re at risk too.
Don’t be in usually populated areas.
Like, the mall, movie theaters, etc. it’s not safe, trust, there will be dumbasses out there today and probably the rest of the week, keep that in mind.
Anyone ask you about your political views?
Say NOTHING.
Or, “I don’t like to talk about that stuff.”
Don’t talk about them at all.
Same goes for your identity, aight?
Idgaf if he “saved TikTok” it was a stunt, they think we’re stupid. Forget that shit, don’t thank him. It’s fucking propaganda.
Stay safe,
Ik im not popular, like at all but please reblog, share, whatever
—Atlas
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winespace · 5 months ago
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Él no tiene idea de cuánto amor tengo para darle, pero por mi salud mental prefiero no hacerlo más.
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luanggie · 7 months ago
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:( 💔
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tru-cu-tu · 8 months ago
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el-chico-perdido · 2 months ago
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Y tu karma no sera verme con alguien más, será verte a ti con muchos y sentirte igual de vacío...
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solojavi1996 · 22 days ago
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Y mereces un abrazo fuerte y cálido, junto a todas las palabras más lindas del mundo. 🌟
"Créditos al dueño de la fotito.🌟"
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magnolia-sthoughts · 2 months ago
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dariann-garcia · 1 year ago
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Es curioso cómo lo que queremos retener se escapa, y lo que tratamos de dejar atrás parece tener una resistencia inquebrantable.
¡
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indirectassad · 1 year ago
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Lucifer tuvo el cielo y no le fue suficiente.
Hay gente así...
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half-lightl · 2 months ago
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"Hayles was given space to make the character entirely her own without sacrificing any of the qualities that made her so complex and lovable in Season 1. In Hayles' hands, Claudia is a fearless spitfire, a beacon of righteous anger, as her resentment grows toward the limitations of her body, toward Louis for forsaking her in favor of yet another man, and toward the Théâtre des Vampires troupe, with whom she so believed she would finally find a vampiric community who understood her. With her big, expressive eyes and uncanny talent for rattling off vicious one-liners, Hayles is achingly vulnerable, playing the jilted daughter as naturally as she does the doomed romantic heroine." - TV GUIDE Best Performances of 2024, No. 2: DELAINEY HAYLES as Claudia in Interview With The Vampire Part II (2024)
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b1cr1ptic · 2 years ago
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Cannot for the life of mine decide if I like or not how this Gideon came out so enjoy her while it last : ' ) (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAU)
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theladydi · 3 months ago
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“I want to dedicate it to my mother. You have no idea, she was here 25 years ago and this is like a proof that art can endure through life even in difficult moments, like the amazing Eunice Paiva that I do has passed, and the same thing that is happening now in the world with so much fear. This is a film that helps us to think about how to survive in tough times like this”
— Best Actress Motion Picture/Drama winner Fernanda Torres speech at the 2025 Golden Globe Awards
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neuroconflictos · 3 months ago
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No eres solo mi persona favorita; eres mi lugar favorito, mi tiempo favorito y mi sentimiento favorito.
Denuczi
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coolwyous · 7 days ago
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┈─★ 𝘪 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘵 ( 𝗯𝗼𝘆, 𝘁𝗲 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗲𝗿𝗼 )
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   ⊹ ࣪ ˖ everyone has warned you about the less than shining reputation of women's hockey team captain daniela avanzini. arrogant, hot-headed, so, so bad for you, and extremely off-limits. so why is it that you can't get the blonde out of your head?
         ˎˊ˗  ❄️  ⊹ ࣪ ˖  🔓୭˚.  ⠀ ᵎᵎ ⠀ 🗝️
   ➴ pairing: hockey captain! daniela avanzini x coach's daughter! f!reader
   ➴ genre + wc: 23k, college au, forbidden/off-limits romance, friends w benefits to lovers?, sneaking around, slow burn, angst, bad communication, they start off toxic sorry not sorry, fuckboy/fratboy jock dani, reader's "i can fix him" energy is much too strong, however "you fall first she falls harder."
   ➴ you might want to tune in...: te quiero - kiss of life
┈─★ a/n: and we are all now officially full circle in the ditto verse to welcome home our fav fuckboy daddy dani <3 let me know what you think. i know it was a ton but i had so much fun exploring this dynamic i just couldn't stop adding to it. i'm gonna miss u hockeyverse!wigline but they were genuinely so much fun to write. hit me up with any ideas for anyone, i'd love to write a few shorter things/imagines and get more creative! thank you again for your time and all the love everyone has given this series! <3
cw:// mentions of recreational drug use, suggestive themes, mild violence but it's a hockey fic so that was to be expected i think....
[*set one year following the events of ditto/hlbwfil!]
“and another thing, your location stays on at all times.” your dad’s rambling to making sure you know exactly how little freedom you have. “you go to class, you come to practice, you go to the library maybe, and you go home.”
you cross your arms. “dining hall?”
“fine, dining hall.” he huffs. “i want permission before you step foot off this campus.”
“not happening,” you tell him simply. the vein in his forehead looks like it’s about to burst. 
“oh, are you paying for your own lawyer? after all the shit you pulled, you’re lucky you were even able to transfer.” he glares you down, his brow twitching. “i’m trying to keep you from ruining your life, y/n.”
“y/n,” your mom adds sternly, as a warning. “you have no idea how lucky you are that you get to start fresh after this.”
“yeah, no cheer, no friends, basically under house arrest, finishing college in the stupid boring city i grew up in instead of literally anywhere else. i feel like a real winner,” you roll your eyes, disappearing upstairs to go find your laptop before they can keep lecturing you.
you can talk back all you want, but they’ve never listened anyways. 
the last thing you want for your junior year of college is to have to start over, but here you are, trying to memorize the layout of this confusing campus before classes start tomorrow. you slip your earphones in and close your eyes, trying to get some rest. you have a feeling this semester is going to be a hard one.
-
you’ve always hated growing up in this city. he drives you to campus together and you hate the fact that you’re a year away from graduating and getting a ride from your dad still. you find your way around your first few classes and end sitting next to a gorgeous bobbed girl in your world literature class. 
“do you care about this stuff?” you ask, figuring you might as well make friends if you’re going to have to start over.
“i do,” she nods.
“would you be down to study with someone who doesn’t?”
she laughs and gives you a quick once-over. “you give trustworthy vibes.”
your dad was extremely clear. classes, practice, then straight home. you make your way to the stadium to get to their practice, under your dad’s direction after you get lost twice. you hate feeling the eyes on you as you walk into the training area, clearly a new face amongst people who’ve been training together since the summer time.
“new prospect?” someone asks. 
your dad clears his throat and motions to you. “this is y/n, my daughter, she’ll be shadowing for the season.”
“i didn’t know you had a girl, coach,” a blue-haired girl says curiously, waving up at you as you set your stuff down on a bench.
you’re not surprised. he usually only talks about the boys, your two older brothers, and how one is currently a commentator for the nhl and the other runs a hockey training camp on the east coast. 
“she’ll be stats manager,” he tells them, and it catches you by surprise— it’s the first you’re hearing of it. 
“isn’t that the assistant coach’s job?” you question.
“always good to have an extra pair of eyes,” he says, glaring over at you, almost threateningly, and the double meaning isn’t lost on you.
“welcome to the team,” a tall brunette says to you as she gets on the ice, and you smile appreciatively at everyone who acknowledges you, even if it’s just kissing your ass to get better with your dad. 
you hate starting new. you watch a red-haired girl, a ginger, and a blonde coming down the rafters, gear in hand, the blonde laughing as the red-haired girl tries grabbing her by the shoulder. they’re approaching you quickly, and maybe you should move out of the way of the player box, but by the time the thought occurs, they’re in front of you. 
“off limits,” you hear the red-haired girl say quickly.
“what is?” you ask, but you’re cut off by a rush of someone in your bubble. 
“hi,” the blonde girl, now just inches out of your face, greets breathlessly, a giant smile on her face. “you are absolutely gorgeous.”
oh god. it’s a strong first impression, but the way her dimple creases in the corner of her cheek makes your heart thud. you feel your cheeks turning red and already abandoning you.
“thank you,” you manage, before the taller ginger yanks her back.
“are you sure you’re related to our coach?” the red-haired one laughs. “the big bald dude who looks like he’ll shit himself at minor inconveniences?”
“dna test says i’m his,” you joke weakly. 
you can hear them mumbling amongst themselves as they get on the ice and skate away.
“god damn,” the blonde shakes her head. 
“off limits,” another girl echoes, shoving into her shoulder. 
your dad hands you a clipboard, and the assistant coaches comes up to you to break down your new job. you look up and spot the blonde on the ice. the assistant coach’s words get lost in your ear. maybe you’ll let yourself enjoy the view.
practice is long and tedious. you’ve never been a hockey girl, much to your dad’s frustration, so watching this is like torture for the past two hours. 
you hear a sharp whistle, the one that someone blows from between their teeth. your eyes snap up to meet those sharp mischievous ones, staring you down from the ice. 
“dani, don’t fucking start–” you hear the goalie warn, but the blonde is already blasting past her, building up a dangerous amount of speed. 
realizing her pleas are on deaf ears, the goalie cheers instead, hollering at the top of her lungs. you laugh. what a girl– if you can’t stop her, might as well cheer her on.
without a single ounce of hesitation, this “dani” girl pivots to skate backwards, braces down, and leaps up to land a recklessly tossed backflip. you almost wish she’d crash, just to wipe that shit-eating grin off her face– but no, she wobbles but sticks the landing, and you get the hint that this isn’t the first time she’s done something like this.
“avanzini, we said no more with the fucking backflips! stop showing off,” the assistant coach grunts. “ten laps since you want to be such a smart ass.”
she looks over at you one last time and flashes a grin at the assistant coach. “i’ll do eleven as an apology.”
she’s still doing laps when your dad gives a quick reminder about tomorrow’s practice and waves the girls off. they trickle off the ice and towards their gear one by one. you’re waiting for your dad before you hear a tap on the plexiglass, turning to spot the blonde waving at you from the other side.
“hey, don’t forget about me when you leave here today, alright?” she grins.
“already forgot your name,” you tell her, and you won’t mention having picked up on it from the goalie.
“it’s dani.” she breathes up against the plexiglass and traces the letters in. she grins charmingly, pointing to the word written in the fog of her breath against the glass. “d-a-n-i. now you won’t forget it, promise?”
you shake your head laughing as she skates past you. your dad is on another lecture as the two of you drive home, him rambling something about who knows what. you’re not listening, anyways.
you don’t want to give her the satisfaction, but her stupid antics worked. you can’t get the blonde out of your head. 
-
chaewon, the girl from your literature class, adopts you and somehow you’re always 2 degrees of separation from that stupid team. chaewon is dating one of the defenders, the blue-haired girl named yunjin, but luckily chae’s other friends don’t care for hockey quite as much. 
going to practice is still a pain, but the girls are never mean to you. you start to pick up on the names, the dynamics of the girls, and how your dad sees them. he mentioned last names to you before, but the names never stuck. you’re way better with faces anyways. 
there’s a clear star on that ice, an insanely fast ginger who pushes so hard, she’s dripping sweat within minutes of each practice starting. 
your dad never critiques one of the goalies, simply nodding at everything she does the way he used to approve of your brothers. you pick up on her likelihood of being your dad’s favorite and make a mental note of it. she’ll be the one you hunt down when you need to get out from under his radar. 
and that damn blonde. you see the way his head gets progressively redder and redder each time he screams at her. but what you like about her is she bites right back— for every call your dad makes that someone else swallows and takes on the chin, daniela is pausing practice entirely and challenging him on it. 
“i’m not arguing with you again, avanzini,” he growls at practice during week 2 of school. his face reddens as he blows the whistle. as much as you expect for the whistle to resume play, daniela holds her hand up to the rest of the team. they stay frozen on the ice. 
listening to this girl, instead of the head coach? when you did cheer, your coach’s word was like god. to see just how much influence the blonde has on the group is terrifying. 
“give me one good reason why kazuha should sweep left if she’s right dominant instead of passing,” dani questions.
“throws off incoming offense,” your dad responds.
“no, it throws off our outgoing offense,” daniela pushes back, nearly a growl. “if zuha passes backwards to yunjin, megan’s fast enough to catch whatever she sends up and i can block off anyone incoming.”
“megan’s fast but not—“
“i can be faster,” megan chirps up, nervous eyes on your dad as she hides behind the shorter blonde. “dani always knows where to put the puck. if we fake it and send it back to yunjin, dani can make a hole, and i can be there.”
“do you hear how insane you guys sound, intentionally losing ground?” your dad balks.
“kazuha’s strongest doing what she does best: covering right. yunjin’s powerful enough to get the pass up, and megan is fast enough to receive it.” daniela skates right up to your dad, where he stands in the player box, and gives a confident smirk. “and i’m damn smart enough to see who’s gonna try to intercept it.”
you can tell this is the girl that has cost him many sleepless nights. “the shit-head” as he used to refer to her when he’d rant about work. 
-
the team has a friendly scrimmage against a neighboring team later that week before the season starts, you see the team’s synergy on full display. your dad runs them like a well oiled machine, working like a pack of lions to take down a kill with your dad orchestrating all of it.
and daniela, with that damn smirk as she blasts past everyone on the ice with expert precision.
“she’s not exactly the biggest, but she’s smart on that ice,” your dad tells you in the car after their scrimmage win, shaking his head. “smart as all hell. kills me that our team captain is such a shit-head, but damn can she can perform.”
“and left wing, that position with that ego?” he keeps rambling. “when i met her before her freshman year, when she had first signed with the university, i was shitting myself thinking she’d be a puck hog, but she’s such a team fucking player. her and kazuha set megan up like clockwork. that little megan is shaky off the ice but such a force when she’s got the right set up.”
“and daniela is the right setup?” you question curiously.
“daniela and kazuha. they work together.” your dad explains, gesturing with two fingers side by side. “the defensemen keep to the back to support the goalie, and the wings work together up front to support the center.”
“okay,” you breathe, but your mind is still on that damn captain for reasons you can’t explain. maybe hockey has some redeeming qualities.
“you know, kiddo, it’s nice to see you so interested,” he smiles as you guys pull into the driveway.
you choke back the laugh. maybe you’ll spare your poor dad from your inner thoughts.
-
the hockey girls are nice to you, but almost too nice. you can tell they’re tip-toeing as they assess how delicate you are. it sucks, because you’d love to make friends with them if you have to spend every day seeing them, but at least you have chaewon, and she’s exactly who you seek out when you decide to do a little digging.
“what do you know about daniela avanzini?” you ask her one day out of the blue, as you’re in line together for coffee. 
“oh, she plays hockey with my girlfriend,” chaewon says, but you can tell there’s more she’s not telling you just by how she stiffened at the name.
“and?” you press.
“she’s the captain of their team.”
“and?”
“y/n, what are you trying to find out?”
“i’m just curious,” you shrug. “my dad can’t stop talking shit about her but she’s nothing but nice to me.”
“i’m sure she’s nice to you, just like all the girls are, so your dad doesn’t kill them,” chaewon laughs. she pauses, then shakes her head, letting out a sigh. “yunjin has her thoughts. dani’s… somethin’. i’m not a fan, personally.”
“you’re the first person that’s been honest with me,” you thank her. you hold onto her words for the rest of the day, even at the end of the night when you’re curled up in bed scrolling through your powerpoints for the next day.
chaewon doesn’t forget, and sends you a link. you open it and it sends you to a tik tok. 
“who on the team would you not let your kid date?” the girl behind the camera asks, before cutting to several other girls on the team.
“dani.”
“oh, definitely daniela.”
“daniela avanzini.”
the final scene of the tik tok is the blonde herself, a big toothy grin, clearly not in on the joke.
“my name is daniela and i’m a left wing.”
you stare at the comments. 
oh i get it
HI DANIELA (louder than the rest)
raw, in reverse, on my knees, whenever she wants it, til the bed breaks, til the neighbors call the cops-
you feel your curiosity multiply at the next related video, one of her giving a few press statements following last year’s championship win. 
“we played smart and worked together. the only thing you can ask for is unity, and this year proves what a good unit can do.” she seems so serious in the clip, yet equally playful as you’ve seen her. an interesting balance for the face of their team.
“you were able to focus on all his despite losing player of the year?” the interviewer asks.
“i’m player of the year in many people’s hearts, and that’s good enough for me. gotta keep a good head game up if i want to rep that C,” she responds.
you roll your eyes at the way she smirks at the camera. the comments all go crazy over her suggestive double meaning, but it’s the most viewed video on the account, so you kinda get it. dani is infuriatingly charming, and that makes for a great face for the team. 
you feel your pulse race. god, what is it with you and the intrigue of this girl who everyone is telling you to run far, far away from?
-
“hey!” lara greets you the next day after the girls all finish up with physical therapy. she’s always been particularly passionate about making sure you feel included, and recently, you’ve let yourself believe it’s a sincere attempt at forging a friendship.
“what’s up?”
“a few of us are going back to my place to watch tapes on the tv, prepping for the game.” she hands you her phone, opened to the dial pad. “you’re welcome to join us.”
“you sure i won’t be intruding?” you ask before giving her your contact info.
“not at all. we’ll be up late. it’ll be like a fun hockey sleepover.” lara smiles, before motioning over to the ginger. “don’t let the puppy dog scare you off, we fed her once and now we can’t seem to get rid of her.”
“if i knew being your housemate meant you’d keep making that stupid stray dog joke, i would have just stayed living in the dorms,” megan glares at the older girl. 
you laugh and nod in appreciation. “i’d love that. i think chaewon is getting tired of me interrupting her study time. i’ll be there.”
your dad is actually quite pleased to hear you’ll be reviewing tapes, and drops you off at lara and megan’s place just a few minutes off campus. you figured lara’s name would be the key to getting out of house arrest, and you were right. 
the house is huge and slightly messy, littered with clothes and meal prep boxes, the clear home to some very serious student athletes. 
you’re getting comfortable on the couch as megan runs to get you a water bottle, when a bedroom door opens and you’re staring directly into the dark mischievous eyes that have been stuck in your head for the past two weeks.
“what are you doing here?” she asks quickly, narrowing her eyes in confusion. 
“reviewing tapes.” you blink as you realize whatever room she came out of, she came out in only some shorts and a sports bra. you try not to objectify her, but damn is she making it hard. “same as you?”
“i live here,” daniela responds quickly, and you come to the realization that lara didn’t specify megan as her only roommate.
“put some clothes on,” lara rolls her eyes, throwing a hoodie in dani’s direction. “we have company, you animal.”
“sorry you’re jealous of my insanely hot bod. if you looked like this you’d be half naked everywhere too,” the blonde pushes back, and you try to ignore the way you feel your heartbeat in every vein as she hops over the back of the couch and gets comfy next to you on the couch as lara turns on the first video.
you begrudgingly share with lara that your dad is extremely protective, and she’s the only one he trusts you to hang out with. she beams proudly and promises to not get you into any trouble with curfews or whatever.
lara’s girlfriend joins you guys just a few minutes later, as do a few other girls from the team. being alone with them away from your dad helps them loosen up a little, and it’s actually really fun to see their actual dynamic instead of the fake niceties you see as they try to be on their best behavior at practice. 
11pm rolls around, and your dad shoots you a text letting you know he expects you back before midnight. you want to scream at how little freedom you have even at your grown age, but the girls are all extremely understanding and offer their own solutions to helping you get home without having to rely on your dad to come pick you up.
“i can uber,” you wave them off, not wanting to inconvenience anyone.
“no, dani’ll drive you home,” lara states firmly, pulling out her phone. “i’ll vouch to your dad for you since i’m your designated guardian angel.”
you don’t want to be a burden, but the thought of getting to finally talk 1 on 1 with the girl stuck in your head sends your pulse racing.
“is that okay with you?” you ask, turning towards the captain in question.
“yeah,” she nods, getting off the couch and slipping on her sneakers. “lar, give me the keys.”
“no stops, no detours, no nothing,” lara warns, tossing her the keychain. “it takes 15 minutes to get there so i’m gonna watch your location. if i don’t see you driving back home in 16, i’m calling the police on you.”
“fine,” the blonde responds curtly, motioning for you to follow her outside. 
“daniela, i’m so serious,” lara threatens. “be decent.”
dani rolls her eyes and waves her off as you two make your way to the car. 
“thanks for being willing to take me,” you tell her, trying to be loud enough over the heater blasting. you don’t know how she’s able to just be out in the fall-time weather in a hoodie, shorts, and some socks.
“no worries.” she shakes her head, eyes locked on the road. “coach doesn’t want you out of his sight or what?”
“he thinks being on high alert keeps me out of trouble,” you roll your eyes.
“what kind of trouble did you get into?” she asks curiously.
you freeze. ugh. and this was supposed to be your fresh start. 
“i just really, really like doing things i’m not supposed to,” you answer after a moment, hoping it’s enough.
“ah,” she says simply, her jaw hardening, but there’s a smirk threatening to come out. “that’s my bad habit too.”
you admire the way the red lights illuminate her skin, the roundness of her features, the contrast against the sharpness of those mischievous eyes. 
“kind of embarrassing that you know my dad like that,” you wrinkle your nose.
“he’s not that bad, as far as coaches go, obviously can’t speak about him as a dad.” she snorts. “i’d kill to have a dad that passionate about hockey.”
“have your parents ever seen you play?” you ask, hoping to get to know more about this girl.
she looks at you in surprise. you wonder if she’s ever been asked this question or what.
 “when i was a kid, they were at every game. not so much for collegiate.”
“live too far or what?” you ask curiously.
she smiles, but it’s a smile of hesitation. you try to read what she’s debating within herself.
“they cut me off when i was 18.” 
“why?”
“tried to bring a girl home for my birthday.” she clicks her tongue. “big mistake.”
“you’re serious?” you ask, half-shocked at the answer.
“they cut me off, and the girl dumped me. double whammy. luckily, lara’s family took me in for the summer.”
“how far back do you guys go?” you ask, curious about their dynamic. of course they’re also close with megan, but lara has always seemed particularly protective of dani, weird considering dani is technically in a position of power over her friend.
“we met at a hockey camp in the 5th grade,” daniela smiles. “every time her parents see us play, they cheer for me too.”
she’s so sweet, sharing this piece of herself with you, you figure she deserves a piece of your puzzle too. 
“i got kicked out of school because they caught me with drugs.” you confess, and you don’t know what it is about daniela’s sincerity that makes you feel like you can trust her. “they weren’t mine. they were my friend’s, and she needs to be there, getting a cheer scholarship, going to school.”
“you took the fall?” she asks, and her voice is full of surprise without being full of judgement.
“i have a family, a house,” you explain, “she had literally nothing.”
she arches a brow and smiles at you through the corner of her eye, still looking at the road.
“i just thought you had a bad attitude,” she teases.
you laugh. “i have that too.”
“as someone who could have easily been in your friend’s shoes, she’s lucky to have someone like you,” daniela tells you, and the sincerity in her voice makes your whole body go warm. you can’t help but dive into a deeper question, something that’s been clawing at you.
“dani,” you start, your voice dropping quietly. “can i ask you something?”
“as long as you’re prepared to not like my answer,” she laughs, and you catch yourself in the shimmer of her tooth gem. 
you breathe out softly, trying to connect the dots. 
“how come everyone is telling me not to be friends with you?”
daniela’s smile falls ever so slightly, her hands tightening around the steering wheel.
“are they?” she wrinkles her nose. 
“kazuha said i’m off limits, lara’s whole ‘be decent,’ thing,” you remind her, trying to think back to other times the team has been weird about dani being around you. “have you bullied people off the team before or what?”
“something like that,” she shakes her head, staring off at the street. 
“you’re the only person who doesn’t treat me weird because of my dad,” you tell her, “you’re not delicate or super nice to me like i’m going to snitch on you.”
“i’m an asshole to everyone,” she laughs.
“but you’re not an asshole,” you push. “you’re actually very, very decent.”
“is that a compliment? i’ll take it as a compliment.” she beams. “i thrive off attention, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“you’re hard to not notice,” you poke back.
you both laugh together as the car pulls into park. you half think about asking her to kiss you, those insanely beautiful lips achingly close, but your eyes dart to the time and you realize it’s 30 seconds until lara threatened to call. you hate this stupid house arrest shit. 
“hope you don’t get your ass beat,” she says simply, and you laugh again. 
“thank you for driving me.”
“don’t get used to it,” she reaches over your lap to unlock your car door, and the proximity of her body sends your brain into overdrive. she swing the door open and pulls back into her own seat. “you won’t get the princess treatment here.”
“wouldn’t want it anyways.” you give her a quick once-over before leaving the car, taking the moment in one last time. she waves as she watches you disappear back inside.
maybe the team thinks they know her, but the version you saw tonight of the blonde makes you feel like you’re going crazy. daniela checks off all the boxes. authentic, unfiltered, and infuriatingly hot. you fall back onto your bed once you get upstairs and let your mind roam into fantasy world, and you finally admit to yourself what it seems your body has known for much, much longer.
you have a crush on daniela avanzini. 
-
the first game throws you straight into the deep end of college hockey. you didn’t realize how serious women’s hockey was to the university until you see the jam-packed crowd, nearly every single seat in the arena filled with screaming fans for the team’s season-opener game. 
“good luck,” you tell the girls, nerves fluttering in your chest as you take to the coach’s bench next to your dad and the assistant coaches.
you spot megan press a quick kiss to her girlfriend’s lips and raise a thumbs up at you. a few other girls nod at your well-wishes, but that blonde is pushing past them all without an ounce of fear. 
“don’t need it,” dani tells you simply, grinning before hitting the ice. 
the game is insanely fast paced, and you never realized just how fun keeping up with hockey can be when you’re actually invested. the scrimmage was interesting but the actual game is addicting, violent and coordinated all at once, making it impossible to tear your eyes away. the girls dominate the first period, keeping an early lead on the other team. the second period is a strong play for defense to keep their lead up. it’s in the third and final period where they get a little shaky, the rookies starting to stand out from the veterans as a missed play accidentally gives up a shot to the other team, tying them back up 1-1.
your dad, infuriated by this misstep, calls a timeout and the girls all come zooming to the player box, dripping in sweat and drinking hurriedly from their water bottles. 
“who cost us that fucking shot?” your dad roars angrily from the time out. 
you know the only reason the other team got the puck was because of that new little freshman eunchae, who was losing steam in this last period and ended up too far back in her zone to catch the pass back from yunjin, giving it up by accident to allow the other team to score. 
“me,” daniela immediately speaks up, and you feel your face twist in confusion. “it was me. i wasn’t open for eunchae to make it to me.”
before you can call her out for the lie, she shoots you a glare, and you realize what she’s trying to tell you. 
“you’ll feel it in practice,” your dad threatens.
“i’ll get us up by two,” daniela bites back immediately.
“big talk for someone who just let us get tied in the bottom of final period.”
daniela leaps over the wall and takes back to the ice before the timeout is even called over. she’s skating hard enough to look like she’ll smash through the ice with each stride.
you analyze it. lara and yunjin sharing a look, eunchae looking both panicked and relieved as she sits on the bench and lets the other defenseman swap her in, megan skating up to dani and trying to say something to her. but daniela waves her off, pointing to a few spots on the ice, before the timeout ends, kazuha regains her position, and the faceoff starts once more.
you hate to admit it, lest it feed your crush any more, but holy shit, is daniela good. 
the debate with your dad ramps her up into 6th gear. she was good before, but she’s insane now, her movements sharper, her skating harder. every time the puck ends up in her control, if she’s not taking a shot, then she’s making sure megan can. she’s absolutely relentless in her pursuit of catching up.
“she’s freaking their goalie out,” the assistant coach says, realizing what daniela’s intention is. the blitz at every opportunity has clearly exhausted the goalie on the other team, meanwhile lara in the goalie box has barely gotten a chance to see the puck due to dani’s aggressive offense. kazuha passes to dani, who makes a shot to bring them up a lead 2-1, but it doesn’t seem to be enough for daniela.
true to her word, the buzzer hits with dani sending a pass to a waiting megan, who scores them a final point.
ending score: 3-1.
“i better see you a half hour early tomorrow for that extra point you cost us,” your dad huffs at dani as the girls are barely coming off the ice. 
“bring me a donut, big guy,” she bites back dryly, her chest heaving. you’re amazed she can manage to get the words out after how tired she seems.
you wait in the car as your dad does the post-game debrief, but when he gets in the driver’s seat, you have some pressing questions based off what you saw.
“she got the team up to the win. why are you so hard on her?” you ask as your dad drives you guys home. 
“avanzini? that’s what a captain is for,” he responds in confusion.
“to be a punching bag?”
“to be responsible,” he corrects. “it was her call to start eunchae instead of letting her watch from the bench. i’m not blind, i know it was hong’s fault she lost that pass.”
“so then why did you let dani take the fall if it wasn’t her fault?”
“because it was her call.”
“but this is eunchae’s first game. i’m sure it gave her tons of confidence to see playtime and know her mistakes won’t cost her.”
“then hopefully avanzini finds it worth it.”
you won’t pretend to understand. you finally decide to commit and follow each of the team members on instagram. they all follow you back within the hour– all except for daniela.
-
your crush only grows, and yet, you feel like since that night in the car, something shifted for her. she’s less attentive to you, less eager for your attention, almost intentionally cold. she avoids your eyes during group meetings, stops sitting next to you during tape reviews, and she still hasn’t fucking followed you back on instagram. you don’t know what her deal is, but your intuition tells you to push deeper.
that’s why, when you spot the blonde curls peeking out from under a beanie at the coffee shop near your house your dad gave you permission to walk to, you tug her by the sleeve and smile as she turns around, pulling her headphones off her head. 
“hi, did you drive here?” you ask curiously, noting that she’s breathing heavily and covered in sweat.
“i always stop here when i finish my runs,” she answers, but the way she’s eyeing the door makes you wonder what exactly she’s so eager to escape.
“perfect,” you sing song, reaching out to her with your hand outstretched.  “walk me home?”
“bad idea,” she says quickly. 
“good idea,” you push back. “plus, i owe lara her textbook back.”
it’s true, lara’s girlfriend had let you borrow a book for your class, and it’s sitting on the corner of your nightstand. maybe you just need an excuse to talk to her again, to figure out why she’s playing this game of hot and cold with you, and you figure she’ll respond best to directness.
“you’re avoiding me,” you tell her, less of a question than an observation. 
“not true.” she shakes her head, taking a sip from her drink.  “just been busy.”
“yeah, busy avoiding me,” you push.
“maybe you’re just annoying as shit,” she bites back, but there’s a slight grin at the corners of her lips that make it feel more teasing than hurtful.
“you wouldn’t know if i’m annoying or not, ‘cause you’re avoiding me, remember?” you answer.
“fine,” she gives in, wrapping her headphones around her neck and reaching for your arm. “ i’ll walk you home, just to prove my point.”
you can’t deny the satisfaction of knowing she’s giving in, and the way she guides you out of the door of the coffee shop by your arm makes you relish in the closeness. you’ve only had one real conversation with her, but it was enough to crave another one, and walking side by side up the sidewalk gives you a warm sense of victory in your chest.
“i know you covered for eunchae,” you start, feeling the breeze nip at your nose.  
“don’t know what you’re talking about,” she smiles playfully, eyes focused on the concrete. “you know me, i just like making coach mad.”
“if you want a dad to yell at you ‘cause yours doesn’t, feel free to keep him.”
“you make me sound super fucked up when you put it that way,” she shakes her head. “like it’s a daddy issues thing.”
“the way you try to push his buttons on purpose makes it seem like a daddy issues thing,” you laugh.
“i just like getting under people’s skin,” she shrugs, and you feel your heart thud at that stupid damn dimple.
“you’re good at that,” you admit, and you almost forget what exactly you two are talking about.  “too good.”
before you know it, you’re in front of the house, a cozy two story with a giant tree in front of your window that you and your brothers had planted when you were just kids. 
“this is where coach lives?” daniela asks, looking up and down in surprise.
“i grew up here. i’d rather live alone in a dorm than with my parents, but that’s consequences or whatever,” you roll your eyes. “let me give you lara’s book. it’s upstairs.”
you push past the front door and realize dani is still lingering on the porch, staring hesitantly at the entrance.
“you can come in,” you reassure her, before noting, “nobody’s home.”
you see her eyes flicker up to you, assessing the lack of cars in the driveway, before she kicks off her shoes and follows you in. 
daniela avanzini is in your room. you try not to make a huge deal out of it, but your mind is absolutely racing. 
“don’t mind the boxes, i still haven’t unpacked all the stuff i brought back from school,” you warn. motioning to the piles in your otherwise tidy room. 
“cute,” she smiles, pointing to the framed picture of you with your former cheer team. “do you miss them?”
“all the time,” you admit. “but we talk a ton, so it’s easier.”
“this one’s hot,” she says, pointing to the picture. 
“don’t piss me off,” you warn, laughing. 
you see something return to those mischievous dark eyes of hers as they flicker up to meet yours, her tongue pressing against her teeth.
“what if i like pissing you off?”
“you’d be admitting to liking me,” you answer quickly, and she grins back at you.
“you’ve got a smart fuckin’ mouth on you,” she says, wagging a finger in your face. 
“yeah?” you challenge, feeling your pulse race as you push her finger away. “you’re pretty cocky yourself.”
“i like the attention,” she reiterates.
“but not from me?” you question playfully, taking a step closer into her bubble. “why were you avoiding me?”
“i was avoiding you,” she finally admits, reaching up to rub her jaw as she avoids your eyes. “i know you’ve done your research.”
“i want to get to know you, and you’re not letting me get to know you,” you push back, reaching out softly to link your fingers. the touch sends sparks through every nerve in your limb. 
“i need to stay away from you,” dani groans, but the way her eyes come to fixate on you abandons what her words try to convey. you realize what’s happening– she’s cracking.
“says who?” you ask, reaching down so your fingers playing with the hem of her shirt. your fingertips brush lightly against the dip of her abs and you feel your mind go numb.
“says literally everyone,” she laughs lowly.
“everyone also says you have a mind of your own,” you push back, tilting your head to look at her.
“that i do,” she breathes, and her tongue darts out to wet her lips as her gaze flickers across your features. you feel drunk under the dizziness her gaze alone has.
“so are you going to think for yourself?” you challenge.
“i’m not a decision to take lightly,” she mumbles, bringing her fingers to trace up your arm and across your collarbone. “i think you’ll hate me if you get to know me.”
“i want to make that decision for myself,” you experiment with your fingers running along the elastic of her shorts. your hands are both starting to seek more and more skin along the other’s body.
“they made it crystal clear how off limits you are,” she groans. “you set me up to fail, and i fucking hate losing.”
“i think you should kiss me, like, now,” you breathe anxiously. you feel your pulse in your ears as she watches as she leans closer and closer.
but before she can close the gap between you two, you hear the loud shut of the front door, and the click of your mom’s heels against the floor. dani’s eyes flash to the open door, and she cooly moves away from you to sit easily on your bed, pushing you away ever so gently.
“y/n? d’you get back from your walk yet?”
“hi mom,” you call out. “ran into dad’s captain and she walked me home.”
“hi, mrs. y/ln,” dani grits through her teeth, eyes still locked on you, as your mom comes upstairs and greets you both. you hope the flush of your skin isn’t enough to sell you out.
“daniela, nice to see you again. thanks for keeping an eye on y/n for us.” your mom smiles sincerely, and you figure you’re in the clear. “i didn’t know you and y/n were friends, you’re welcome to come around more often.”
“i think coach y/ln would flip if he saw me here,” dani smiles knowingly, flashing you a quick look. “but i’ll be around.”
dani excuses herself, and your mom starts going on about the lawyers calling and how your case is going to get argued down to something that’ll easily come off your record. it’s a relief, but she’s still clearly irritated with the whole situation, and you ask to go to bed early to end the conversation there.
you look down at your phone as you make it back into your bed. dani has finally followed you back, and you see a private story posted.
a picture of the top of her head, simply captioned “tryna get up to something.”
you feel a pit in the bottom of your stomach and decide to just go to sleep. at the very least, you know you didn’t make it up.
-
“coach, can y/n come out with a few of us tonight?” lara asks at the next practice. you look up at her in surprise. they had just gotten back from an away game and lara had mentioned something about a greek life party she was eager to hit up. you knew there was no chance, but lara gave you a confident shake of her head and insisted she’d figure something out to get you there. you didn’t think this meant being so confident as to ask your dad directly.
“something small?” he raises an eyebrow at her. 
“i’ll share my location if it makes you feel better,” she smiles.
“i trust you. stay with lara,” he waves you off, and you stare at the red-haired girl in disbelief. you won’t test your luck. she gives you a time to be ready to get picked up, and you thank god that your dad has favorites.
your history with college parties has been iffy at best. your cheer coach was notoriously strict. you’re jealous that the hockey girls have a different standard, but you try to push that thought away and focus on the positive: at least now, you can party without fear of punishment. 
there’s another thought you want to push away: the thought of daniela in your room. lara, megan, and their respective partners are all in the car when they stop by to pick you up, but dani is nowhere to be seen. you make up your mind that tonight, you’re going to get over this stupid fucking crush, and you’re going to do so at all costs.
you’re only a few minutes in to the less-than-tiny house party and lara has already disappeared somewhere to go be alone with her girlfriend. megan is outside in the backyard laughing insanely loudly on the swingset with her own girlfriend. you start to regret not inviting chaewon or someone else outside of the hockey team, leaving you there alone on your own.
but then blue haired yunjin is popping up in your peripheral, offering you a shot, and you take it, deciding you have nothing to lose. 
“no girlfriend tonight?” you ask.
“chae’s studying for her comps,” she wrinkles her nose. “i’d give anything to be making out with her right now.”
you laugh. “i’ll kiss a few strangers in honor of chae.”
“she’d hate that,” yunjin cackles, before serving you another drink. “but i love your intentions, so let’s pick your victim.”
“no, i get too picky,” you shake your head. “give me a criteria and that’ll be my victim.
“oh fuck yeah,” yunjin laughs, and you love how down she is. “hmm. next person to offer you a drink?
“you better put that fucking bottle down then or your girlfriend will kill you.”
yunjin shrieks with laughter and sprints off to leave the bottle back at the bar. she finds you once more and you two dive into the mosh pit of bodies all dancing together. she dances stupidly alongside you, and for a split second, you’re grateful that despite all you’ve been through this year, you can still find decent people you enjoy being around. 
a pair of hands snake around your waist, and you see a bottle of tequila get presented to you from behind you. you feel the sweat and the faint musk of a familiar clean cologne from the stranger behind you. you nod at the bottle, looking up at yunjin as you realize your victim has been selected. 
but yunjin simply stares back at you with wide eyes, shaking her head as if to warn you, before you turn and realize just what has her in such a panic. 
or rather, who. 
the stranger grabs your waist and pulls you closer, and you turn to come face to face with that mess of blonde curls. dani’s skin is flushed from what you assume is both adrenaline and drinks in her system. the two of you lock eyes and you feel the room slow down.
“hi,” you greet, wrapping your arms around her neck. 
“hi,” she breathes back. those damn eyes scan over you, searching for something. 
“we should find somewhere quiet,” you tell her simply. she eyes you, something dangerous in that dark gaze, but within moments she’s leading you upstairs, grasp tight around your wrist. you can see the shimmer of someone else’s lip gloss smeared on her mouth already, and part of it infuriates you. 
but you’re finally alone, the back of your legs hitting the bed and leading you to sit down. she’s quickly invading your space, stepping in and planting an arm on either side of you to lock you in beneath her. 
“i don’t make good decisions,” she warns you, and you let your hands untuck the front of the jersey she’s wearing, exploring the skin of her torso experimentally. she doesn’t stop you, and it makes your whole body tense.
“that’s fine,” you breathe quickly, the proximity dizzying you.  “the bad choices are always more fun.”
you see her jaw clench as your fingers trace along her back, your nails pressing into her strong shoulders as an experimental test. 
“last warning,” she breathes into your ear, her head falling to press her temple against yours. your heart feels like it’s about to leap out of your chest with how her guard falls. 
“you’re finally going to let us be friends?” you grin, watching as she pulls away to go lock the door.
she glares back at you, something dangerous in those eyes, and reaches back to pull her shirt off in one smooth motion before a devilish grin takes to her lips. 
“we’re not going to be friends,” she says simply, before leaping forward to finally claim you.
-
“you look like you’re in a good mood,” chaewon chirps as you race into the seat next to her in the early morning literature lecture.
you mention nothing of the fact that you’re on 2 hours of sleep, waking up late, ready to fall asleep at the table. 
“did i miss anything?” you huff, trying to get a grip.
“colonization, racial undertones, empiricism, the usual good stuff,” she smiles, before eyeing you in concern. “i’m serious, everything okay?”
it’s one thing to hook up at the party, but when lara called you to let you know it’s time to go, it’s another thing to be pushing daniela off you so she doesn’t make you sound suspicious over the phone. 
the ride back was spent in complete silence, lara not at all suspicious as to where you both disappeared for the few hours, but by the time you get back to their place, dani is covering your mouth with her hand to slip you into her room instead of letting you sleep on the couch where lara had initially offered.
you shudder as you fight off the flashbacks and try to focus on the lecture. “i’m totally good.”
“yunjin said she had fun hanging out with you last night,” chaewon goes on, showing you a picture the two of you had taken together that yunjin had sent her. “you guys went to that party together?”
“we ran into each other there,” you smile, loving how yunjin was so immersed in the party and still found a way to include her girlfriend. “we missed you. we both would have killed to have you there with us.”
“next time, maybe i’ll join,” chaewon smiles, and you drop your head into your hand. 
class ends, and you’re almost disappointed to not see anything from daniela. no texts checking in on how you got home (an uber to your house before your dad woke up) or dm’s letting you know she’s even alive. you’ve never been clingy before, and you don’t intend to start now, but just being acknowledged would be nice.
your head is pounding as you walk to practice. as soon as you get home, you’re going to sleep as long as physically possible, and try not to think about how incredible daniela’s hands are at–
you push the thought away, but you spot the flash of blonde curls approaching the stadium at the same time. you swear she spots you out of the corner of her eye, but she keeps walking, bag slung over her shoulder.
you’re no stranger to one night stands, but at the very least an acknowledgement would be nice? you have to work together for the rest of the season. the least she can do is not be a giant fucking jerk.
you speed up to catch her and shove into her to get her attention.
“hi, i’m alive or what the fuck ever, if that matters to you,” you push into her shoulder.
“i warned you, and you found me.” she gives you a disinterested glare, and you almost can’t believe this is the same girl you had played such a fun cat and mouse game with. she keeps walking, and you speed up to keep up with her as you guys head to the locker room. “if you’re pissed that i didn’t call you, just call me first.”
“you are really fucking full of yourself,” you spit angrily. 
“you can’t say you weren’t warned,” she shrugs, entering the empty locker room to put her bag into a locker. she takes off her jacket and hangs it up, reaching for her helmet out of her bag. “i’m not stupid. i know every single person on this team warned you about me. if you didn’t listen, that’s on you.”
“are you proud of that reputation?” you ask in disbelief. 
“i know your type,” she smirks smugly. “you play hard to get and then you’re pissed when you give in ‘cause there’s no more mystery.” 
“you don’t know shit about me,” you growl back, and something about having shared so much with her stings. you’re not mad about the hookup, you’re mad about buying all her vulnerable bullshit and thinking she wasn’t going to be every bit as shitty as everyone warned you she’d be.
“i know what you sound like screaming my name and you can’t take that shit back,” she laughs, and you want to absolutely fucking murder her. 
“i don’t know why the fuck you’re being such an asshole, but you’re a piece of shit, and i hope you choke on that ice today,” you blurt, storming off towards the player box.
“you good?” yunjin asks, noting your expression as you two cross into each other.
“i’m fine,” you wave her off, and you have to bite back a scream as daniela hops on the ice, laughing her head off with megan and lara as if your interaction had never happened.
you try to hide your disappointment. a crush you had believed in so wholeheartedly, only to see that everyone else was right to warn you.
you’re relieved that your dad makes you stay home for the away games, and a break from having to see dani’s stupid face is exactly what you needed. the team leaves that weekend for a game and your mom takes over the hawk-eyed supervision, but it gives you a chance to introduce her to some of your new friends. chaewon comes over to do homework with you and brings along a friend from her english class named sophia, and you find out sophia is friends with megan’s girlfriend. 
you desperately need someone to open up to about your entire experience with daniela, but knowing chaewon is less than her biggest fan, and sophia does her best to avoid hockey drama, you realize you’re probably shit out of luck. plus, you were fairly warned by literally everyone, and you still were stupid enough to get yourself involved with her, so really, it’s a fitting punishment that you deal with the consequences.
halfway through the study session, megan (sweet, angelic megan,) reaches out to you that night to ask you to run her stats from the game. the assistant coach took from the game, and you start running the numbers while sophia and chae bicker about where the best study spot on campus is. you feel your heart sink as you realize you’ll have to do this all over again for the rest of the semester: run the numbers from every game and inform the players, and you let out a loud groan.
“i fucking hate hockey,” you tell them, interrupting their debate.
“oh, do you know how beat up my girlfriend is when she comes home to me?” chaewon shrieks. “she’s like a zombie half the time. i can’t wait for her to be done with this stupid sport.”
“all the players are massive-ego’d idiots,” sophia echoes. “well, maybe not yunjinnie–”
“no, i’m not offended, yunjin can be so loud,” chaewon butts in, wrinkling her nose. “but that megan is really sweet.”
the three of you laugh. the ginger may be single handedly balancing the reputation of the team on her shoulders. 
“well, they have an idiot for a leader,” you say, and they both chirp in agreement.
“i just have to hear about them, but you’re up close and personal,” chaewon gapes, shaking her head. “you’re a saint for dealing with all of them.”
you feel your ears get red. your closeness with daniela would probably be categorized as anything but holy, but that’s something you’ll end up taking to the grave, it turns out. 
you guys end the night with a quick goofy round of youtube karaoke, sophia and chaewon trying to out-do each other so loudly your mom drops by in concern, and you can’t help but feel a little better at the idea of facing the team tomorrow. 
“it’s like what, three more months left in their season, and then you’re free?” sophia reminds you as her and chaewon get into the car. “so easy.”
you’d like to believe her, but unfortunately, daniela wants to make it anything but easy for you.
you go player by player before practice starts, pulling them aside to show them their graphs. lara smiles at her current save rate, megan nods as you show her how fast she’s improving on her shot ratio, kazuha mumbles something to herself about more strength training when you give her the statistics on her pushbacks.
you suck in a deep breath and approach the blonde last, out of all the girls, to try and get it over with the fastest. 
“your numbers are dropping.” you tell daniela simply, dropping the clipboard in her lap as she laces up her skates.
she shoots you a glare, biting the tip of her glove to pull it off her hand and flip through your pages, and you have to physically remind yourself to stop thinking about what those teeth felt like on your skin…
“what?” she questions, brows furrowing. you’re almost surprised by how shocked she sounds. clearly, you’re telling her something she isn’t expecting.
“your average. compared to this time last season, you had this many assists under your belt.” you point to the comparison curves on the graphs. “this season, you’re hitting numbers almost a third lower. harder time keeping up?”
“check your math, there’s no way,” she huffs, standing up and tossing the clipboard off her lap. you feel your blood boil at her attitude, but there’s something giving you a power trip about seeing how angry she’s getting.
ugh. you don’t want to admit the high it gives you to get under her skin.
“ouch, that struck a nerve.” you observe, fighting the grin that wants to take over your features. “you’re underperforming, avanzini.”
“i’m competitive,” she says curtly, eyes darkening, and skates off without another look in your direction. you hear her mutter something with a curse word in spanish, and somehow, it feels like a win in your book. 
it’s not that you want to give daniela a hard time, especially if you’re going to have to be stuck together for the rest of the season, but by the time practice starts, she’s looking over at you every time she makes another pass or takes another shot. you won’t admit how much you like the attention she’s giving you, even if it’s just to prove that she’s every bit as good as her ego claims, but you hold onto the feeling of irritating her and how satisfied it makes you feel. 
lara invites you out to dinner with them again, but dani stays back on the ice after everyone else leaves, and you consider yourself the winner that day. 
dani calms down the rest of the week at practice, and is right back to ignoring you as you do your best to ignore her. you know there’s a chance you two can coexist peacefully– your friendship with lara and megan is actually quite enjoyable, even if dani makes a big deal of disappearing every time you come over or join the red-haired girl and her ginger sidekick. you kind of like the ability to not have to worry about daniela being around, but something in your stomach lurches every time you realize you’re still on her close friends story and she’s posting another shirtless photo surrounded by gorgeous random strangers. 
you know she’s probably not even thinking about you, but she’s so fucking aggravating, you need to get back at her somehow to regain your sense of control. 
so at the next evening practice, you decide to test another theory.
usually it’s just your dad who gives feedback to the girls, but he’s busy chatting with the assistant coaches and the trainee physical therapist, so you decide to put your clipboard down and lean against the half-wall to call out to the girls as they continue through their drills.
“nice shot, kazuha.”
as if they’re surprised to hear your voice, nearly half the team looks up at you, kazuha herself looking confused before breaking into a giant grin. 
“oh, ah, thank you, y/n,” she beams, and the pure joy in her face makes you wonder what the fuck your dad puts these poor girls through if the slightest affirmation is enough to excite them this much.
“me next, me next!” lara calls out to you, and the two of you laugh as you wave her off. these poor, compliment-deprived jocks.
“you gotta do something worth cheering on, first,” you yell back to her, and all the girls scramble on the ice to push further. your original plan was to compliment every single player and leave out the captain, but as you look up, dani is glaring daggers at kazuha, who is still smiling from your call out.
maybe this will be a little easier than you thought. if dani is the attention seeking type, what easier way to piss her off than showing her how easily she can be ignored? and if you can find someone specific to make it feel personal, even better.
you try remembering the dynamics you observed among the team. your dad mentioned kazuha and daniela being partners on the ice, you know she’s protective of megan so that probably won’t make a difference, lara is too goofy to take the compliment anyways–
it clicks. you remember the way chaewon doesn’t like daniela. yunjin and dani might have some kind of rivalry between them.
you pray yunjin won’t make things weird. but as if perfectly on cue, yunjin practices a spinning check on daniela and sends the captain flying backwards, slamming into the plexiglass as easily as pushing a child.
“good shit, huh,” you call out loudly as the defender skates off. yunjin’s head snaps up from the ice, and she shoots you a bright grin and a thumbs up. a few of the girls even go so far as to laugh, and you send her a matching thumbs up to emphasize your point.
you look over at the blonde, and you see dani’s jaw twitch. something about yunjin specifically strikes a nerve. bingo.
your dad takes over practice again, and daniela skates like she’s trying to smash through the ice with each stride. she’s ignoring you fully this time, taking all her passes and shots as if she’s trying to break her stick each time she hits the puck, and you’re absolutely relishing in the fact that you got the upper hand. you write down a few notes in your binder and lose yourself in thought, before a whistle from your dad catches your attention.
“huh was wide open, avanzini,” your dad glares.
“i had a clear shot,” dani shrugs. you look over at yunjin, who is shrugging confusedly at lara and rolling her eyes.
“it was your idea to pass back to her,” he reminds her.
“an idea,” dani bites back, before skating off. “not a promise.”
your dad gives some quick recap speech about the upcoming home game, and the girls break. a majority of them head straight to the showers, and you’re there waiting for your dad to finish touching base with the assistant coaches, but you notice a small handful stay on the ice. all the starters, actually. you figure it’s what gets them their starting position– extra effort, extra talent.
kazuha is the first to leave after an extra 15 minutes on the ice. then lara follows, and yunjin. your dad is back out 45 minutes later, hand on your shoulder.  you wave him off as he asks about taking you home. 
“i’ll get a ride with lara or stay at her place. is that okay?”
“you want to watch these two? i knew there was a hockey girl inside there all along,” he smiles proudly.
“i want to finish my notes,” you tell him, pointing down to your clipboard.
“go home,” the assistant coach tells the girls still on the ice. it’s just dani and megan left taking shots, passing between the two of them, now almost an hour after practice has ended. you have no idea how the two have the energy to make it through practice, much less show up early and stay behind this late, and not be collapsing the next day. finally, an hour after practice, megan leaves to go to her girlfriend’s, and that leaves you alone with daniela. 
she glares over at you, cold stare as she heads into the locker room. you follow, like a moth to a flame, not even sure what you’re planning on getting out of this conversation besides hopefully irritating her even further.
“i thought you weren’t a puck hog?” you taunt her, in reference to the reprimand from your dad for dani not passing to yunjin.
she shrugs, avoiding your gaze, as she pulls her helmet off her head and drops her gloves into her bag. “what can i say? i like the eyes on me.” 
“hm, i can tell.” you say back. 
“did you have fun watching huh today?” she asks, her tone dripping with sarcasm as she peels her jersey off her back. the black compression shirt she wears underneath is clinging to her, drenched in sweat, and it takes everything in you to peel your eyes away.
“yunjin is my friend, and i’m allowed to fucking cheer her on,” you remind her. “i thought you guys were friends?”
“we are friends.” before reminding you, “you and i aren’t.”
“you seem really weirdly jealous of someone you call a friend,” 
“i don’t want to talk about yunjin,” she nearly growls, and you can’t wait to keep exploiting this soft spot of hers.
“why not? she’s improving, like a lot, and it didn’t sound like she had a lot to work on–”
in seconds, she’s grabbing you and pressing you against the locker, her hand against the bottom of your jaw.
“y/n,” she seethes, “if you want my attention that bad, you fucking have it.”
“tell me you’ve been thinking about me,” you press, and it feels almost obsessive. her full weight is pressing against you into the lockers and it makes your pulse race att the memory of her touch. “there’s no way you’re that fucking good at pretending.”
“of course i haven’t stopped fucking thinking about you,” she breathes, and it feels like a confession. “i’ve been trying to ignore you but you’re annoying as shit. are you pissed, or do you want me? you’re sending mixed signals.”
“i thought you could think for yourself?” you challenge back.
“i can,” her eyes are trailing off to scan up your body, her grip still firm against your jaw. “if it were up to me, i know exactly what i’d want from you. but coach’s daughter is extremely off-limits, in case you didn’t remember.”
“i know what i’m getting into,” you push back.
“i warned you the first time too,” she reminds you.
 “just don’t play games with me,” you growl. “do what you want, and i will too.”
“it sounds like you want me,” she grins, leaning in so that your foreheads are almost touching.
“you think everyone wants you,” you roll your eyes, but your hands are already pulling at her waistband to pull her close. something about the fresh layer of sweat slicking her baby hairs to her neck and forehead is infuriatingly attractive to you.
“that’s ‘cause they do,” she hums back easily.
“you look at every reflective surface you walk past.” you shake your head. “you’re obsessed with yourself.”
“you’ve seen what i can do, i think you get it.” she leans down, experimentally letting her lips brush against your neck. “i’m pretty easy to be obsessed with.”
you don’t want to give her the satisfaction of a single word more, but the proximity between you two and the craving inside your bones takes over. she’s sweeping you up in one easy motion, your lips colliding with bruising force, and you lose sight of whatever it was you two were fighting about. when dani’s hands take over, everything you hated her for disappears from your mind, and all you focus on is losing your fingers in those curls as she pulls you into the showers with her.
-
you told yourself you wouldn’t get involved with anything dangerous at this new university– no bad influences, no friends that did illegal things, no risky behavior that can make things worse for you when you’re trying to start over. but when you made this list, you never considered that you’d get addicted to hooking up with the very hot, very irritating, very bad-for-you hockey team captain that already makes your dad’s life a living hell. 
and it’s confusing, to say the least. she ignores and avoids you through the day, and then stays fixated watching you throughout an entire practice. she can go hours without texting you back but as soon as you post that you’re out with yunjin and chaewon, she’s climbing up the stupid tree in your yard to tap on your window and sneak in as if she hadn’t been radio silent the whole day. 
you know it’s just a hookup, and nothing more, but something about how she overdoes it with ignoring you makes it even weirder when you two are rushing to see each other, desperately making up for the time spent apart. you won’t complain: between school, practice, friends, and now daniela keeping you busy, you don’t even have a chance to think about getting into anything else.
“i know what you’re doing,” she warns you one night after sneaking into your room again. she pushes you off her lap when you’ve spent a little too much time with your lips on one spot on her neck.
“feeling possessive,” you hum, running your fingers through her curls, admiring your work against her soft skin.
“you’re fucking crazy,” dani groans, but you catch the way she grins looking at herself in her phone. “it’s getting late, i should go.”
some would even call it romantic the way she steals lara’s car to come park it up the street and sneak into your room on the nights you can’t spend with her at her place. you guys are quiet enough to make sure nobody else hears, and you’ll admit that the sneaking around part makes things so, so much more fun.
“just leave before my dad wakes up,” you tell her, pulling her down by the neck to plant another kiss against her jaw. 
“i’m only gonna spend the night in your room once you specifically ask me to,” she pushes you away and smirks at you playfully. “i’ll be around if you need me.”
“whatever.” you roll your eyes and turn to pull up your phone. “not gonna beg.”
“someone else will,” she says back, but not before jumping on the bed to plant a forceful, dizzying kiss on your lips. “bye, y/n.”
you want to rip your hair out, but it doesn’t make your heart thud any less watching her climb down and out of your bedroom window. you roll your eyes as she stops, looks up at you, and does another one of her stupid backflips right on your front lawn before disappearing into the night.
dani shows up to practice the next day wearing every single hickey you gave her on full display. she didn’t even try to cover them up. you guys lock eyes briefly and you can’t tell if she’s playing a mind game with you, or is just trying to play with fire and test your limits. you won’t give her the satisfaction though– part of you likes knowing the secret stays between you two.
“ah, heartbreaker dani strikes again. another sorority girl?” kazuha arches a brow, shoving playfully into daniela’s shoulder. lara shakes her head laughing and follows onto the ice. 
nevermind. you feel your blood boil. maybe next time you should leave your initials. 
your dad makes dani get off the ice and go put on a neck guard to stop distracting everyone. dani rolls her eyes but does so begrudgingly. your eyes meet as she hops off the ice and towards her bag. 
“are they really a distraction?” she asks you casually.
“extremely.” you say, trying to match her non-chalance. “tell your girl toy to stop trying so hard next time.”
“she’s got a mind of her own,” she shakes her head, eyes lighting up with something unholy. “but i’ll do my best.” 
-
the weeks pass and you guys don’t discuss the nature of your arrangement, but you both know it’s critical to keep it under wraps. your dad is thrilled that you’re spending so much time at lara’s, and lara and megan are too busy with their own things to notice dani either disappearing all night or letting you in. 
your phone buzzes in the middle of homework and you spot the number, saved simply as “captain.”
come over
say please
i don’t beg but i’ll make sure you do so, again, come over
you roll your eyes at how easily you’re convinced. 
“taking the car and going to lara’s,” you call out to your house, and your dad calls back in approval from the other room.
your stomach hasn’t quite stopped flipping when you pull into the trio’s driveway. daniela is already in the doorway, looking stupidly attractive in her oversized hoodie and baggy shorts, and you two nearly don’t make it to her room before she already has her hands on you, pulling you in.
you two fall back onto the bed and you’re straddling her much too quickly to call it casual. she pulls at your top and you try to regain some of your dignity by poking fun at her. 
“wasn’t i just here this morning? so eager to have me back so soon,” you tease.
“you can stop showing up whenever, you know,” she bites back, putting her hands over yours to guide them to her hoodie. you take the hint and pull her hoodie off over her head, biting your lip in eager anticipation.
“you’d miss me too much,” you clip back easily. she smirks and reaches up from beneath you to capture your lips with hers, her fingers hooking into your waistband to start sliding your pants down your thighs. you know the motions by now and start to lean up to let her get them off from your ankles.
that is, until you hear the door swing open.
“have you seen my bite guard? i left it in the–” megan starts, but immediately pivots into a half- scream, hands flying up to cover her eyes. “oh, bro, jesus christ–”
oh fuck. 
you and dani move equally fast to push off each other. you truly had convinced yourself that you two had mastered the whole sneaking around thing, so you’re not exactly prepared for whatever may come next. the dread sets in immediately. you can trust daniela, and you can trust yourself, but the last thing you need is someone else involved.
“you can’t tell my dad,” you blurt out immediately. 
“oh my fucking god, not coach,” megan panics. “he’s going to kill me if he finds out.”
“why would he kill you?” dani squints at the younger girl.
“bro, i’m letting this happen.” megan brings an open palm to her forehead, beginning to pace around daniela’s room. “i’m complexit, or whatever.”
“complicit,” dani corrects quickly
megan ignores the correction and keeps rambling. “no, this is so bad. i’m basically putting the strap in your hand.”
“okay, meg, please, too far,” you groan, and daniela lets out a loud hollering laugh.
“i’m going to die and i literally just barely beat the virgin allegations,” she gasps.
you shake your head and give a look to daniela. is she always this neurotic? 
“meg, please, go like, take some deep breaths over there. we’ll stop if it’s freaking you out that bad,” daniela tries to soothe her, pointing out the door.
“how long?” the ginger asks.
“oh my god bro, we’ve only fucked like, the past month.”
megan’s dark puppy eyes go wide, honing in on you. “a month is more than zero. i was hoping you would say zero.” 
“are you asking for an apology?” you try to ask, desperate to make sense of why exactly she’s panicking. 
daniela groans and finally gets out of the bed, tossing a hoodie over herself and handing you your pants back. she grabs megan by the back of her neck and waves over to you. “we’re gonna go.”
“where?” you question. it’s nearly 10pm and the tail end of a freezing october. 
“where else? the lake, duh. she needs to hit the ice to calm down. we’ll be back.” she groans and grabs a few sticks tucked away in the corner of her room, before she drags the ginger out the door and shuts it behind them.
you let your head fall backwards onto dani’s pillow and stare at the ceiling, the dread sinking in. 
-
you’re not quite sure when you dozed off, but you’re woken up to the sound of the door creaking back open. the familiar curls enter the room and dani comes to kneel in front of the bed, eye to eye with you. the gesture is sweet, almost tender, as if she’s trying to be close without waking you.
“i didn’t think you’d still be here.” she tells you quietly, before gently poking at your cheek. “awake?”
“i told my dad i was sleeping over at lara’s and he has my location. i can’t just leave my phone here,” you groan groggily at her. “meg okay?”
“she’ll be fine. she won’t say anything. believe it or not, we can keep secrets surprisingly well. ask lara what we pulled for her girlfriend last year.” she sits on the edge of the bed. “you stayed?”
“does me being here ruin your plans somehow?” you ask, confused about what she expected.
“i mean, no, i’m going to a party anyways.” she shrugs, her demeanor hardening. “might bring someone back. if you don’t want the couch, then you might want to room with lar.”
“you’re a fucking joke,” you blurt at her, sitting up to meet her eye-level. “always so irritating.”
“what happened to feeling possessive?” she arches a brow playfully.
“no, shut up dani. tell me something– why were you so much nicer to me before we started hooking up?” you question, narrowing your eyes at her. “you weren’t this big of a dick until the first time. i didn’t even think you were capable of being this big of a piece of shit.”
“i didn’t know you noticed how i treated you before,” she says simply, crossing her arms over her chest and giving you a curious look. “you cared about that?”
you take a second before ripping her a new one and read into her implication. it really does make sense in her head that if you only wanted her for sex, there was no need to keep up the dynamic from before. 
is this the root of all this confusion? is daniela just playing a role she thinks you assigned to her?
“tell me something about you,” you blurt out. 
she un-crosses her arms and arches a brow in confusion. “like?”
“anything. what’s your favorite color?”
“blue.” she pauses for a second. “yours?”
“blue,” you repeat, and she smiles at the coincidence. 
“do you miss cheer?” she asks quickly, as if to not let the silence take over.
“you remember that i did that?”
“yeah,” she says simply, before fishing in the pocket of her hoodie for a protein bar she had clearly just been eating. “do you want a bite? did you eat while i was gone?”
you feel rattled by her sudden change in demeanor. where did the fuckboy from 5 minutes ago disappear to?
“where is all this coming from?” you ask.
“if you wanted to be friends, you just had to say so.” she seems so casual about it, the flip, but you won’t question it further. this feels like the dani you met in the car, that first time alone. the sincere, unabashed one you got so inexplicably hooked on, and you want to make the most of it while she’s still showing you that girl still exists.
you take the protein bar as a peace offering and take a bite. “i do miss cheer, if that matters to you.”
“try out for our team,” she says quickly, like the solution is obvious.
“it’s not that easy. it’d be like you trying to play for a new team right now in the middle of your season.”
“so then cheer just for me,” she grins.
“i’d rather die than be an ice girl.” you roll your eyes. “i can’t even skate.”
“seriously? with your dad?”
you pinch the bridge of your nose, closing your eyes. “dani, please don’t talk about my dad while i’m debating getting naked for you again.”
“yeah?” the way she grins at your confession makes your heart thud. 
“but you said you had a party to get to, so…” you trail off, eyeing her. 
you almost let out a scream as daniela leaps and tackles you back into a laying position, biting playfully at your jaw. 
“you’re going to get me in so much trouble,” she sighs, pressing feverish kisses against your neck.
“good thing he won’t find out.” you lift her chin to face you and press a finger to her lips, admiring her pretty, pretty face. “don’t tell me you’ve never kept something a secret before?”
“i’m gonna have to,” she breathes, her arms snaking under your back, “‘cause i’m having a hard time keeping my hands to myself.”
“do something about it,” you grin, and dani doesn’t make you wait.
-
there’s no point in lying to yourself. you can fool the world, maybe, between the stolen glances and rushed kisses in the empty locker room or in the secrecy of your bedroom, but you can feel the way dani’s eyes never quite leave your head. you find yourself thinking about her at every turn, remembering new things as she keeps opening up to you about her past, her hopes for the future, her experiences as captain. you want to think that of course, if she’s the best hook up you’ve ever had, it’d be obvious why she’s on your mind, but you know it’d be a lie to pretend your feelings weren’t getting involved, despite your better judgement.
each time you watch her wink at you from the ice, or order your coffee perfectly as if she’s memorized it, or see her leave a stupid cute note on your clipboard, you can’t help but wonder if she’s this damn charming with all her other hookups too. 
you try not to overthink it and instead focus on the newfound freedoms your dad is slowly loosening up to allow you, with each passing week that you stay out of trouble (at least, trouble that he’s aware of.)
can i go to a party if i stay w lara and megan the entire time?
You’ve got some nerve asking If I call you need to pick up at any point
i’ll leave with her and text you each step of the way
you text to the group chat that you’re good to go and they all send a variety of cheering gifs or stupid memes about how fucked up they’re going to get you.
(at least, all of them except for dani, who never acknowledges your texts in the group chat.)
you appreciate that they’ve finally stopped treating you just as coach’s daughter, finally brave enough to stop babying you. you’re especially grateful when you get to the party and yunjin is feeding you shots much to chaewon’s disapproval, the defenseman screaming laughing as lara and kazuha try to race to take down their drinks before megan even manages to take a single, nervous sip from her cup. you’re grateful to have made so many stupid fun friends who are so so nice to you, but you can’t help but feel like the shenanigans would feel complete with the presence of one particular frat-boy-like captain who thrives in these environments. 
you try to not be obvious about looking around to seek her out, but you can feel the eyes on you from the other side of the room. like two magnets finding the opposite ends of each other, always pulling to touch.
unfortunately, when you do spot her, looking painfully attractive in an oversized university polo and a backwards hat, she’s standing way too close to a random girl for your liking. you guys had never discussed the parameters of what was and wasn’t allowed, and a part of you had always known she wasn’t likely the type you could lock down if you were just friends with benefits. 
fine. you don’t owe her anything. you turn back around and reach for chaewon’s hand, inviting your friend to dance with you as lara’s girlfriend hands you another drink. you’re over trying to push dani. if she wants anything from you. she knows exactly where to find you.
you’re almost able to push her out of your head until chaewon trades to be dance partners with kazuha, landing you with yunjin holding you by the waist. you think nothing of it– her super secure girlfriend is literally two feet away from you, doing the same with kazuha, and yunjin has always been nothing but platonic with you, doting on how much she loves chaewon.
“i’m sure these moves have your girl so, so happy,” you laugh, motioning to how she can manage to both lead you so smoothly and also trip up over her own feet at the same time.
yunjin grins back at you in response. “i always step on her feet, and she’ll still kiss me. i think she pretends it doesn’t even happen.”
“now that’s true love,” you coo, motioning over to the bobbed girl in question, who blows you both a kiss as kazuha dips her over and over.
“i like to think she’s into me,” yunjin smiles.
“y/n isn’t drunk enough to be able to keep up with your whack ass moves, huh.”
the hair on the back of your neck tingles. you’ve gotten too good at picking up daniela’s husky voice absolutely anywhere. 
“funny. if anyone knows about getting shit-face wasted, it’s you, cap.” yunjin raises her cup to the blonde, words teetering dangerously on the edge of disdain. she motions to you and shoos you two off irritatedly. “take it away.”
before you can protest, dani is pulling you into the hallway, secluded from the bustle of the party centered in the living room.
her hands are all over you, her teeth in your neck painfully fast with no warning, as if to assert herself. you shove her away. 
“what the fuck, dani?” you hiss, wincing at the sting of your skin.
“missed you,” she says simply, pressing you back up against the wall, and you’re in shock about hearing her blatant confession. you think back and realize it might be the first time she’s ever admitted something like that. 
“you’re sending me mixed signals,” you call her out, putting a hand on her chest to keep some space between you two. “you don’t want me to get mad at you but you go crazy when you see me complimenting someone else.”
“fine then,” she growls, though you knew she’d avoid taking accountability for the whiplash she’s putting you through. “so should we just fucking quit while we’re ahead?”
you see the way her eyes change, something pressing beneath that calloused exterior, you know dani, deep down, and you know what it means when she acts out. so you decide to take a chance. 
“i want to know more about you,” you breathe gently, looking around quickly to make sure there’s no prying eyes, before cupping a hand to her cheek. “and i want to keep seeing you. please stop trying to fuck with my head.”
her eyes soften, and your heart melts. your bet pays off– her guard is dropping.
“you won’t like what you find,” she warns, and the way her voice hardens makes you wonder what she’s possibly been through to think so low of herself. 
“let me decide that on my own,” you tell her, tilting your head. “why do you keep pushing me away?”
“i thought i was fine with it, but i kept thinking about it. and i don’t want to hook up with someone who’s just using me to get back at someone else.”
“me liking you had nothing to do with my dad. it’d be easier to like you if my dad wasn’t terrified of you,” you shake your head, realizing how fucked up the reality of the situation is.
you don’t realize what’s slipped out of your mouth until daniela’s eyes are lighting up, even in the dim lighting. her voice is so, so eager, you want to risk it all and kiss her right there and then.
“y/n, you like me?” she questions.
“duh,” you wrinkle your nose, embarrassed but unable to find a way to take it back. “are you blind? is it seriously news to you?”
“i thought yunjin was fucking with me.”
“god, yunjin could see it,” you want to shrivel up and die– you had never mentioned dani to her, but yunjin is dating chaewon, the super genius, and is clearly no idiot herself.  “but why would she lie to you?”
dani bites back a guilty smile. “i’ve been kind of shitty to her before.”
you remember the first time watching their rivalry at practice, the smoothness with which they play but the very obvious tension off the ice. you even remember how dani didn’t bother you until it was yunjin who started dancing with you. 
“why are you so fucking weird about yunjin?”
you expect an excuse, but dani simply grits her teeth and lets out a breath. “yunjin is like, what i could be if i wasn’t so fucked up. she’s confident and stupid but people really like her.”
“people really like you,” you press back.
“people put up with me,” she corrects, smiling painfully. “you and i both know i’m bad news.”
“that’s not true.”
“you know it is,” she insists “coach only tolerates me because i’m lara’s best friend, and because i got captain.”
“you’re a star player, that’s why you’re captain.” 
“megan is a star player,” she corrects you again. this is new territory for you– daniela’s always been so infuriatingly cocky, you almost don’t know what to make about the overload of sincerity she’s sharing with you. you regret every time you’ve talked shit about her ego, realizing it was probably the only thing protecting her from this terrible notion she has of herself.
“you almost won player of the year last season,” you remind her, the party now lost behind you both. “that’s nothing small.”
“your dad got so mad when i got nominated that year and not lara,” she laughs, but you can hear something painful in her voice. the pain of being constantly compared.
“you earned it for a reason,” you answer quickly, and you see something click in her.
“you’re the only person who’s never sized me up to lara,” she tells you. “or yunjin.”
“no comparison,” you answer quickly. “you’re so one-of-a-kind, dani. it’s mesmerizing.”
“i love lara, but even she puts me in this box, like i can’t be trusted. i know she means well but it’s hard sometimes. she’s so perfect, yunjin’s so likeable, and i’m too much,” dani breathes. 
“you’re not too much,” you disagree. “you’re so human. you’re like the most authentic person i know.”
“i feel like my feelings are too big for my body sometimes,” she admits, and you can’t believe she’s sharing all this at a frat party at like 1 in the morning. “like they control me instead of the other way around.”
“that makes you so special. you’re not hiding away like everyone else. you’re not scared to treat people like human beings.”
“nobody cares about that,” she snorts.
“i care about that. my dad always treats me like i’m some breakable doll.” nobody has ever made you feel safe or seen enough to confess the frustrations of being the youngest in your family comes with. “my brothers were always the ones allowed to get away with everything but i had to be under his thumb.”
“i wish we would have met any other way,” she says simply, and you feel the weight of her words resonating from inside of you. she leans in before adding a quiet whisper, “y/n, you like me?”
“i should have never said something,” you roll your eyes, but she reaches for your hand.
“you guys okay?” 
your eyes both snap up at the voice. you breathe out a sigh of relief as you realize it’s those big brown puppy eyes looking back at you. 
megan.
“i was going to steal lara’s keys so we could go–”
“kiss, a lot,” her girlfriend chimes in, cheeks flushed from clearly one too many drinks.
“no, she’s too tipsy for that, ignore her.” megan wrinkles her nose, holding the girl tightly by the waist to help hold her up. “i was going to let her sleep it off in the car but i’ll just get us an uber to take her home. take the keys, and go talk. that way, nobody interrupts.”
“i’m gonna teach her how to rock your shit once you’re all sobered up,” dani promises, pointing a finger at the both of them.
“dani, i am so serious, please shut the fuck up,” megan begs, and you can see her ears flushing red from beneath her beanie.
her girlfriend grins mischievously. “nooo, you should hear what she can do when–”
megan interrupts by simply turning them around and walking away with the girl in tow, throwing the keys at your feet as her eyes go wide. you hear her tone soften as she walks off in search of somewhere to let her clearly drunk girlfriend sober up. “okay, baby, not now, but especially not ever with dani…” 
-
you’re a little nervous that you’re being driven home without lara present, but you figure being home is better than staying out in your dad’s book. dani admits she hadn’t actually been drinking that night, which is a surprise to you, but you’re absolutely counting it as a win that she confessed all these thoughts sober.
you don’t remember who reaches out first, but her hand is holding yours as she drives down the familiar streets to your house, and you feel like you can picture it forever. 
“how did you get captain after lara turned it down?” you ask, after she had opened up about so many other issues in her life, answering each of your questions more honestly than the last.
“it was our old coach, she was training your dad before she transitioned to a new team.” you remember this. your dad had been assistant coach for years, and when the old head coach announced her retirement, your mom threw the biggest celebration to cheer him on for his promotion. “coach misty looked me in the eyes and told me that even if the athletics department wanted lara, i was always her first pick.”
“really?”
“she said i needed the responsibility so i wouldn’t do more stupid things.”
“that worked out,” you deadpan.
“i was worse, when i first joined the program. i’d skip practice, i had a shit attitude, i’d show up to games hungover. i threw up once offsides because i had been partying the night before too hard. at least now i stop before i get sick.”
“really?” you can’t imagine it. as destructive as dani is off the ice, her commitment to her sport is sacred. sure dani can be a goof during practice, but never during the drills themselves, or the games. you’d never once seen her show up with less than 110% when it comes down to it, laser-focused on whatever she’s doing.
“she saw the worst in me, and still believed i could be good,” dani shrugs. “good enough to announce me captain. i cleaned up my act a little once that happened. wanted to make her proud.”
“someone believed in you, once upon a time.” you tell her softly. “maybe you should remember that when you feel reckless.”
“fine.” she lets out a sigh and taps the steering wheel as if she’s thinking. you’re about to make a dumb comment about how good she looks in that hat, but she catches you off guard with her next statement: 
“i think we should stop hooking up with other people.”
“what?” you question, as if you heard her wrong.
“just make it easy.” she shrugs again, avoiding your gaze. “plus finals are coming up, we’ll be able to stay focused and blow off steam with less time in between.”
you’re too caught off guard to give a straight answer. instead, you want answers to your pressing questions. “when we first met, why did you get weird when i told you everyone was warning me about you?”
she hums for a moment, her thumb running across your knuckles. “i let myself start to like you, then i remembered who i am and what i do.”
“you’re not a bad person, dani,” you shake your head.
“you can’t even claim me,” she pushes back, pulling up in front of your house. 
“you’re not exactly showing me off either,” you point out.
“your dad would kill me,” she laughs, pointing to your house with all the lights off, “and i have one more year before i go pro.”
“fine.” you turn in the seat to face her, bringing your interlaced hands up to examine her knuckles. “we keep it secret for one more year, and once we graduate, if we’re still together, we say something.”
“so, we’re not gonna sneak around forever?” she asks, eyes lighting up.
“i’m private, but i want to make it very clear that i’m not ashamed of you.” 
“you’ll hate me in a year,” she pushes you teasingly. 
“i hated you for a little bit, but you grew on me.” you reach over to plant a soft kiss on her lips, feeling much too bold considering your dad is asleep just inside the house. “maybe you’ll hate me in a year.”
“guess you’ll just have to stick around a year and find out,” daniela smirks, before reaching across your seat to let you out of the car door once more.
you make it upstairs to your room, and she sends you a screenshot of her lockscreen.
look at what time i made it home. 
the time is irrelevant. all you see is that her background has been changed to a team photo, where you and her are sharing a glance. your heart thuds as you hunt down the same photo and change yours too. 
“this fucking stupid ass crush,” you mumble to yourself, before letting yourself fall asleep. you don’t have to have a name for it. whatever it is with dani, at least as of tonight, is perfect.
-
there’s two semifinal home games left until the championships, and you’ve never felt more anxious to be through a game in your life. between finals coming up, your dad extra on edge, and now trying to make time to see dani outside of just when the sun is gone, you feel like something is dangerously close to bursting, and yet you’re not sure which part of your life is bound to burst first.
the semi-final game, however, gives a hint that hockey is probably going to be a huge stressor for the next two weeks.
the game is absolute insanity. the girls are playing like maniacs, both intense and borderline sloppy as they barely manage to keep a lead up above the attacking team. your dad is beyond himself, screaming so hard he ends up snapping a clipboard over his knee out of frustration when the team lands another foul and gets away with it.
dani, however, is not one to let things slide, and makes sure the team knows she won’t tolerate a dirty play against megan under any circumstance.
daniela takes the other team’s center down, gripping her by the back of her jersey, and slams her into the ice. she drops on top of her, swinging two fast blows in succession against her helmet before the ref can swing over. yunjin jumps in quickly, dogpiling onto the other girl as her teammates come to her rescue. kazuha, freakishly strong, reaches down to yank a girl off dani’s back. 
the referee finally makes his way over and calls a 2 minute penalty for daniela. it’s the first time you’ve ever seen her in the box. she storms over and slams the half-door shut, watching anxiously as her team tries to play without her for the next 120 seconds.
“never seen you fight before,” you tell her through the glass, trying to distract her as her eyes stay laser focused on the ice.
“this team fractured my eye socket last year.” she tells you back sharply, and she seems genuinely pissed. “and now trying a high-stick on meg? they had it coming.”
they barely scrape by with the win, and you have to sit through your dad’s lecture about how playing sloppy is almost worse than losing.
you, the golden trio, and their girlfriends are all leaving the stadium towards the parking lot, ready to go to their place and go straight to sleep after such a heavy game. but there’s an unfamiliar voice calling out from the dimly lit lot.
“you had to try and play dirty to win?” the girls call out, and you recognize them as some of the players from the other team. you look around and realize it’s just the few of you in the parking lot, last to leave. you get a sinking feeling in your stomach.
dani, fearless as always, is the first to step in front of your team and snap back against the attempts at intimidating her team. 
“i was gonna apologize for beating your ass bare in front of thousands of people, but it sounds like you deserved it,” she bites back.
“you call a dirty dogpile beating my ass?” the girl scoffs. “try again alone and you won’t come out as easily.”
“not worth it,” lara rolls her eyes, unlocking the car door to load her stuff into.
“easy to say when you can only win on home turf,” the girl responds.
“home court advantage? are you serious? look at our fucking record. you talk a lot of shit for a team that just got their asses whipped,” dani bites back, chest puffing as lara reaches out to hold her back. you feel frozen at the exchange.
megan is stepping backwards with nervous eyes, tutor girl pulling her by the wrist to try and distract her.
“oh come on, come step up like a fucking grown up.” the other team’s player points at the ginger in question and how tutor girl is trying to redirect her. “or does your little loser girl do all the hard shit for you?”
you see something twitch in megan’s jaw, her eyes blowing dark. 
holy shit. 
within seconds, megan is launching forwards, both hands pressing into the other girl’s shoulders and sending her slamming into the ground with one harsh push. she stands over her as you all bolt to grab her.
“next one ends as you with no teeth,” megan says, voice cold and even. you have never once heard megan talk like that, much less think she was capable of it.
ugh. to be her girlfriend, having someone claim you that hard. 
“she gets it, baby,” tutor girl pulls her back.
you can tell this was the catalyst to something terrible.
“you wanna start something then not finish it?” the other girl snaps angrily, lifting herself up off the ground with the help of the two other girls.
“your girlfriend says that’s a pattern of your’s,” dani snips. 
oh, this idiot and her big mouth.
“try it again, blondie,” she challenges, gesturing for her to approach.
“walk away, daniela,” lara pushes her, but dani’s too fucking stubborn to back down. 
in seconds, dani’s shoving into the other girl, despite the height difference, pressing her face into the other girls’ fearlessly. you’re in awe of how she seems completely unphased.
“they might not fight, but i do,” she bites, “and i’m not known to fucking lose.”
the other girl shoves back and before you know it, they’re at blows, even scarier now without all the padding from the game. you’re seconds from running in to try and pull them off of each other when you see a flash of another girl coming up behind her. you realize her intentions look less than a friendly way to blow off steam.
megan’s scream is the loudest. “dani!” 
the girl lifts her foot to land a kick straight into the side of dani’s knee, and you see the sickening bend of a joint that shouldn’t go in that direction. 
daniela screams and drops to the ground face-first, and the other team’s girls freeze as they realize what just happened of their teammate taking it too far. they sprint in the opposite direction, disappearing into the night, and you feel your heart start to race as dani stays on the ground. you’re waiting for her to make some stupid joke, to pop up and do a backflip or something, but once you see her swollen cheek and bloodied lip dripping with silent tears as she grips her knee, you realize something is horribly wrong.
“dani?” you whisper.
“i think we need a doctor,” lara utters, starting the car.
“dani, can you get up?” megan asks worriedly, and daniela keeps ignoring everyone to clutch her leg.
“this is not good,” you whimper, feeling your body go numb.
you immediately direct megan to help dani to her feet, and lara is racing to pull her car around. megan and her girlfriend help dani limp into the car, and the blonde is ignoring all of you with wide eyes. 
“i think she’s in shock,” lara says worriedly, and you bring a hand to dani’s face. the gash above her eye from where she hit the ground is bleeding profusely, and she looks pale.
“hey, you’re okay,” you reassure her, trying to bring her back to earth.
“y/n, i felt two pops. both my ligaments.” she says it solemnly, eyes still wide, as if she’s processing it over and over. “that’s my knee. that’s my career.”
“you also hit your head which i’m sure didn’t help,” you push back, knowing dani always manages to get out of things with the craziest of luck. you press a kiss to her knuckles, forgetting the world around you. “you’ll be okay.”
“that’s it for me,” she says quickly, before her face pales again and her head slumps forward, the shock clearly wearing off.
the ER nurse takes one look at daniela, bloodied, bruised, and her limp body only held up by megan’s sheer strength at this point, and hurriedly gets her in a wheelchair and out of the lobby.
your group waits anxiously in the lobby, intentionally leaving out mentioning this your dad yet. you can already hear what he’s going to say to her, and you figure the last thing she needs is to hear his lecture right about now. hours pass by, megan and her girlfriend curled up in one chair, lara falling asleep on your shoulder, as you fidget with your phone waiting to hear literally anything back.
they allow one person back to go see her, and lara wakes up and volunteers immediately. part of you wishes you could go back with them, but you figure if only megan knows, you shouldn’t be spilling to just anyone especially when dani can’t stand up for herself.
lara comes back a few minutes later, shaking her head. the disappointment is written clearly on her features.
you realize now, why it had to be dani as captain. yes, lara is lovely and easy to like and responsible, but as soon as the pressure hits, you can read the distress all over her features. she’s shutting down, clearly bearing bad news.
dani would be frustrated, maybe, but her energy would stay up and she’d find some way to make even the biggest problems seem like no sweat. that’s what coach misty had seen in dani, all that time ago, to appoint her captain. an undying tenacity and a willpower of steel– the kind that inspires people.
“the forehead needed three stitches, which they did.” she lets out a sigh. “um, but they’re putting her in for a cat scan right now to see what’s going on with the knee and how bad it is.”
“they’re going to go straight into surgery to see what they can repair in her knee. the acl and the mcl both ripped from the impact. they said we should look into pressing charges.”
your heart drops.
“the good news is my girlfriend has seen plenty of acl rips that can heal fast enough to finish a season. we might not have her for championships but she’ll be with us next year.”
you look over at megan, who is teary eyed at the thought of all of this. “can we see her?”
lara nods. “she has a room, they’ll let us know when we can go in.”
lara decides to be the responsible one and steps outside to call her girlfriend first, and then face your dad. once a nurse comes down to say she’s accepting visitors (albeit, sleepily due to the pain meds,) megan is leaving you guys in the dust to race upstairs towards the room. 
dani’s peaceful snores from her bed bring you some source of comfort. megan curls up in the chair next to the bed and pulls out her phone, mumbling something about calling out from class the next day. 
lara’s girlfriend arrives and the other girlfriends wait outside the door, peeking in through the crack in case dani stirs.
“poor lar is still on the phone with coach y/ln. you can imagine how it’s going,” she wrinkles her nose. tutor girl grimaces.
“hate to be her right about now.”
“check it out. your puppy dog doesn’t want to leave her side,” you laugh. 
“you haven’t either,” tutor girl points out playfully. 
“someone sane has gotta keep an eye on our captain,” you shrug. 
“dani is like a big sister to her,” tutor girl says worriedly, watching from the window as megan lays her head on dani’s bed. “she loves her.”
lara’s girlfriend turns to you, and with zero judgement in her voice, asks simply: “what’s she to you?” 
“loaded question,” is all you say, and they both laugh in response. 
megan bursts out the door with an eager smile. “she’s awake!”
you let the other girls go in first and say their pieces. at this point, it’s nearly 2am after all the waiting, and the adrenaline doesn’t balance out how tired they all must be from the game and being up this late. you let them trickle out of the room as they finish up, last out being megan, before you nod to her and promise you’ll keep an eye on her best friend through the night.
they leave, and you step into the room, feeling a small breath escape you at the sight of her.
she’s sitting up in the bed, beaming that stupidly gorgeous smile at you, but the stitches on her forehead and the scrapes and bruises on her face make your heart ache. she looks so small in the hospital gown, your otherwise larger than life daniela, but all you can think about is how grateful you are that she’s in one piece.
“will i sound too familiar if i start screaming about your dumb fucking choices tonight?” you start, but your voice can’t hide the fact that you’re not actually angry at her, as stern as you’re trying to be.
“sorry i’m such a shit-head,” she apologizes simply, the smile never dropping. 
“how’d you know my dad’s nickname for you?” you tease.
“‘cause he calls me it like it’s my government name,” she winkles her nose back at you, looking around before reaching out a hand to you.
“i don’t think you’re all that bad, daniela avanzini.” you smile gently and take her hand in yours as you stand next to the bed.
“you haven’t known me long enough,” she snorts. “you’ll find something.”
“shockingly, i’ve liked what i’ve seen.” you press playfully into her chin. “i hope i get to know you long enough to prove you wrong, but you’re gonna have to stop doing stupid shit like this.”
“careful,” she clicks her tongue. “people might think you’re soft for me.”
“you got under my skin at some point.” you shrug, the smile on your lips only growing. “unfortunately, i think i like you there.”
she pauses for a moment, and you wonder if she’s going to say something stupid, but instead, she simply looks up at you with those sharp gorgeous dark eyes. 
“will you stay, please?”
“you know,” you tell her, relenting instantly and cuddling into the bed with her, “i had this sick fantasy of finally hearing you beg, but now that you’re begging, i feel like a horrible person because it doesn’t actually turn me on.”
“you’re so evil,” she laughs. ���maybe we are meant to be.”
“slow down, playboy,” you tease, before letting out a quiet nervous breath. “what’d the doctor say?”
“good thing i’m still insanely hot,” she says, flexing her biceps beside you, “cause it sounds like i’m never playing hockey again.”
your heart drops. “what? but lara said–”
“recovery for all the ripped joints is well over a year. that’s this and next season.” she holds up two fingers. “there’s no chance i’m going pro missing my rest of my junior and then my senior season, and that’s if my knee even heals right.”
“dani…” you feel your heart ache at the implication.
“that’s what, almost 15 years? just down the drain.” she shakes her head, dropping back against the pillow with wide eyes. “everyone is asking me what the fuck i’m going to do next and all i can do is stare back like an idiot.”
“you don’t have to know that yet,” you tell her gently, resting your head on her shoulder. “i think you should give yourself a chance to rest.”
she scoffs and runs a hand through her hair, sarcasm dripping in her voice. “still want to sneak around with me? broken knee, no more games, useless ass captain with her career down the drain? at least i can smoke so much more weed while i rot on the couch.”
you blink once, twice, as you realize the warmth in your chest has overflowed in a way that never had anything to do with daniela’s status. you like her for her, and you’re hurt she couldn’t see that from the start.
you cup her face gently in your palm and turn it to face you.
“dani,” you say quietly, trying to take in every inch of her features, her poor cut up face. “i don’t think i want to sneak any more.”
your heart pounds at the way her eyes light up.
“even like this?” she questions.
“especially like this.” you nod. “just give me some time to find the right chance to talk to my dad. maybe you can tell lara. we can figure it out from there.”
you’re mentally prepared for an excuse, from the pushback of wanting to still be single. you’re prepared for her to flip that switch and slap you with some stupid fuckboy ecxcuse, as she does whenever feelings start to get too heavily involved, but you know that’s a risk you run wih her anyways.
instead, she just stares back at you with those beautiful eyes, her smile threatening to split her face in two. 
“okay,” she says simply, and it’s enough for you.
“you’re going to be okay,” you reassure her, carefully leaning into her chest to not disturb her bad leg. she wraps and arm around your shoulder and plays mindlessly with your hair. “you’re so one of a kind. things always work out for you.”
the night finally catches up to you, and you fall asleep in her arms. at this point, you don’t care who sees you. all that matters is dani needs you, and you want to be there for her, and there’s nothing your heart wants more than to make her feel cared for. 
-
the championship game finally arrives two weeks later, and your heart breaks as the teams make it a special point to roll out a carpet on the ice to celebrate dani, who limps out in her leg brace and blows kisses all around her at the roaring fans. 
the collegiate sports world was rocked by the news after your dad helped file the police report last week. the headlines hit immediately after: 
“hockey champion’s career cut short due to violent assault from opposing team.” 
you know it breaks her heart to have to watch the game from the bench, but dani’s calling out and making suggestions to your dad, screaming at the girls from the box to make sure they know she’s down but not out for the count. you can tell it does wonders for their morale, their leader still pushing as hard as she can from the constraints she has. 
they’re wobblier on the ice than usual– like a creature on four legs that just lost it’s front foot. megan is compensating for the new left wing, who doesn’t match up with kazuha quite as gracefully as dani did, but they’re making it work. the game stays at a tense 0-0 even down to the bottom of the final period, and that’s equally lara’s job as goalie as well as yunjin’s work as defenseman to keep the puck away from their net.
it’s the offence that is feeling dani’s absence the most. it had always been kazhua to dani, zuha making a hole as dani runs the puck up, and then both of them clearing a clear pass to megan to make the final score. megan is overcompensating, somehow in multiple places at once, and by some miracle, makes a buzzer-beating shot that brings them up to their second championship victory.
1-0, and no easy feat.
the girls all swarm megan on the ice, but you quickly realize megan is crying her poor little eyes out as she races out of the swam and instead runs straight to the player box, crushing daniela in a hug as she tosses her helmet to the side.
dani furrows her brows and gives megan back the tightest hug she can manage with all the padding still on her. the other girls come to quickly trickle in and follow suit, and you can hear megan’s loud sobs heard over the hums and sniffles of the other girls. the reality sets in. their  beloved captain is done for.
“we’re going to announce the next captain tomorrow after the championship recap press release,” your dad tells them, after a few pictures with the trophy and a debrief about the game. “get some rest, you all played your best tonight.”
he points to yunjin and daniela and motions for them to follow into his office. you figure you’ll give them some space and wait outside with lara and her girlfriend, but once you see yunjin step out and hurry away, you hear the volume increase. lara and the physical trainer both exchange concerned glances and walk away to offer them more privacy. you try to focus on other things, but you hear a thud of something hitting the desk, and walk into the office.
you catch the tail end of their argument. daniela’s jaw is hard and her face is red, almost as red as your dad’s, and you can tell the two have probably been screaming at each other a fair amount of time before you got there. 
“captain goes to yunjin.” he presses firmly, slamming his fist down again into the table. “you thank the program for their time, you make the announcement that it’s huh, and you train her until the season starts. you can still see your scholarship out as long as you’re training with us since the injury wasn’t your fault.”
“i don’t give a fuck about my scholarship. yunjin is the wrong call for captain,” daniela bites back fearlessly. 
“if you wouldn’t have gone looking for trouble, we wouldn’t have to be making this call.” he growls, shooing the both of you out of his door.  “you don’t get to call shots any more, avanzini, you are done for. do what i say. announce huh at the press conference and stop causing issues.”
daniela storms out of the office, and you follow behind her, your dad slamming the door shut behind the two of you.
“if i wasn’t stuck in this fucking brace, i’d beat his ass too,” she rants, waving lara over. “let’s get the fuck out of here.”
“enough with fighting people,” you growl, following them to the car.
you spend the night, and daniela doesn’t want to say a single word more about it, instead simply laying in the bed and letting you play with her hair until she falls asleep. you want to leave it there, but something inside you is pressing to dig a little deeper, so you slip out of the bed as gently as you can without waking her, and ask lara if you can borrow the car to make a quick trip. your dad is clearly too stressed out about the conference tomorrow to be checking where you are, so you figure maybe you can dig a little deeper into this as you give chaewon a quick phone call. 
you make it to chaewon’s apartment complex and just as you had the hunch, yunjin is pulling up at the exact same time, looking like a zombie as she tries punching in the access code to the front door. you park and race up behind her before she can leave you behind.
“hi yunjin,” you greet, making your presence known.
“y/n.” she forces a smile, spinning on her heel. caught. “good to see you.”
“i thought we were cool, but you don’t seem that thrilled to see me,” you wrinkle your nose. “did chae tell you i was asking about you?”
“unfortunately, yes,” she wrinkles her nose back at you. yunjin straddles the line between being confident and cocky, just barely able to rein it in that you’re never quite that annoyed with her. 
“sorry for you, but i need answers,” you press.
“all for a girl who won’t claim you?” she arches a brow.
you bite back a grimace, not wanting to admit how deep that cuts. “this isn’t about dani.”
“when it comes to this team, everything is about dani.” she shakes her head.
“when it comes to dani, everything is about the team,” you insist, and you see yunjin’s eyebrow twitch slightly.
“i hate admitting when daniela is right, but i also disagree with the call to make me captain.”
“so don’t accept,” you state simply.
“i have to,” yunjin sighs. “it’s not that easy.”
“why don’t you think it should go to you?”
“i love hockey, but i don’t live and breathe it. coach y/ln just wants an incoming senior who can say the right polite things, keep the sponsors happy, and then graduate and be out of there. i’m the closest she could get to lara raj. dani, as much trouble as she caused, also got us the right kind of attention. it was supposed to be her keeping captain until she graduated. someone like that isn’t going to pop up again. lightning doesn’t strike twice.”
you marinade on her words. that might explain why dani is so irritated about the call– yunjin seems ready to be a puppet for the next year, and daniela would rather die than let captain go to someone who doesn’t see the sport as their whole life.
“i’ve never seen her like that before, so reasonable. she’s crazy about you,” yunjin adds as an afterthought. “she met her match in you.”
“crazy knows crazy,” you laugh.
“i think you believing in her changed her.” yunjin corrects you, offering a small smile as a peace offering. “she’s a pain in the ass, but she’s our favorite pain in the ass, so thank you for taking care of her.”
suddenly the door swings open, revealing a sleepy-eyed chaewon.
“oh hi, y/n,” she blinks, looking between the both of you. “i wasn’t expecting you to actually come over.”
“not crashing, just needed to find yunjin. thanks, chae. see you tomorrow.” you nod to them both and head off. you don’t have a plan, but you at least have a better idea of what’s going through daniela’s head, and maybe that can be enough for now. you drive back to her place and squeeze right back into bed with her, wondering what this new chapter could possibly have in store for you.
-
the press conference finally comes the next day, and you’ve never seen so many bodies packed in the conference room before. photographers, reporters, even what looks like scouts and coaches invited from other teams. yunjin is seated next to you in the front row by the coaches, and megan and lara are right outside the door watching on the screen outside the room with the rest of the team. 
dani limps her way onto the stage, unreadable expression on her face. they offer her a roaring round of applause, their university’s mini-celebrity, before quieting down as she takes to the microphone to start the speech.
“hockey has given me the most beautiful past 15 years of my life. i’d like to thank the program, for giving me a home to call my own, and the coaches, for pushing me to be my best. i’d like to thank the girls, most of all, for trusting my decisions, following me into the dark, and picking me up every single time i’ve fallen in pursuit of perfection.”
“as we celebrate this win,” she continues, “i know my time as captain has come to a beautiful end. i will mourn the season i never got to share, but i know the next captain is going to set the most incredible example for the team moving froward. being captain changed me. it gave me something to be responsible for, and a reason to believe in myself, even on the hardest days, when nothing felt redeemable. this is not a decision the program has taken lightly, as the job of team captain is only for those strong enough to lead by example, and believe in themselves to do it with a clear focus on the team.” 
she presses her lips into a fine line, clearly trying to fake a smile. your heart aches as you know she’s being forced to do this against her better hopes.
“i am proud to announce my successor,” she starts, her face cold. 
theres a pause, and you see her eyes change. she looks up at you and that glint of mischief shines as your eyes meet. you whisper a scolding to yourself but the grin on her face tells you that her mind is made up. she leans into the microphone and takes measures into her own hands.
“the women’s hockey team is in no better hands next year than incoming junior megan skiendiel. thank you,” she nods and stands up, and the conference room bursts into a roar of flashing cameras, overlapping questions, and a few whistled cheers.
you know your dad is going to fucking kill her but she walks off the stage with no fear and heads backstage. 
tutor girl texts you immediately. 
holy shit
daniela’s too smart. the university is in too tight of a position to retract her statement. dani is adored by thousands, and the sob story of her early retirement locks in her legacy as a hero– if your dad retracts her statement, he’s as good as dead.
you all rush to find her backstage as your dad scrambles to the mic, announcing “no further questions.”
megan is the first to spot her, and you can already see the color drained from her face in shock as her lip quivers. “dani–”
“listen, megs.” daniela grabs the taller girl by the shoulders, pulling her in to look her deep in the eyes. “you are our top scorer. you are first to practice every time and always the last to leave. you live, breathe, and die by this sport. everything i know, i’ve taught you, and you’ve surpassed me. you are a better, younger version of myself and you are the heart of this team.” 
you didn’t know where dani’s head was at with yunjin, but you can see it now. experience and composure vs talent and dedication. yunjin is perfect on paper, but megan is obsessed with the sport down to her very core. and when daniela needed a reminder she was more than just a stupid little problem child, she recognizes that megan needs the same push to see she’s not just some nervous idiot little kid. 
“i can’t do what you do,” megan hiccups, and you can see how hard she’s biting down on her lip to stop herself from bursting into tears. “i can’t do any of this without you.”
“you won’t have to.” dani pulls her into a crushing hug, and you feel your heart warm. “i’ve got your back, and you’ve got all of ours. believe in yourself, or at least remember that at least one person believes in you, and the rest will come naturally.”
your dad’s voice booms over all of you, interrupting the otherwise tender moment. 
“avanzini, my fucking office, now.”
he’s stanced menacingly in front of the group, finger pointed in the direction of the coach’s offices. you all fall silent, clearly terrified of what comes next from him.
well, all except for daniela, who steps right up to him and points a finger just an inch from his face. 
“yeah, keep swearing at me ‘cause i got more to say to you, you bald-headed bitch,” she pushes back fearlessly. 
“oh, don’t start, avanzini,” he groans, backing down and walking towards the office. 
you want to die of laughter as you watch her limp after him. daniela and her incessant need to run her mouth.
you give megan a quick squeeze of reassurance and leave her in the arms of the girls. whatever is about to go down between daniela and your dad should probably involve a witness, so you chase them down and follow into his office. they don’t even notice you entering, right back into a screaming match they’re all too good at. 
“do you know the shit you just got us into? i have a whole department losing their minds over their top spokesperson having to transition off and now you’re going off script picking your own fucking captain! do you know the position that puts us in?” he’s seething so hard, you see the spit flying from his lips as he can barely contain himself. “do you ever fucking think about anything besides yourself?”
“yes, actually.” daniela’s face is hard, she’s standing tall, taking the verbal beating but snapping back just as forcefully to make sure he knows it won’t be an easy fight. “i think about a lot of other people, actually.”
“forgive me for finding that hard to believe, between the partying, the disrespect, and the self-centered attitude.” he holds up a finger for each vice he lists. “you carry yourself like some cocky frat boy and i’ve enabled you for way too fucking long. sometimes i wonder what the fuck goes on up there in that brain of yours besides thinking about yourself.”
you see daniela’s fists clench, and she lets out a sharp breath. 
“you wonder what i think about?” she snaps, before taking a step back and laughing bitterly. “this is a great time to tell you that i’m in love with your daughter.”
you freeze. oh christ.
“don’t joke like that, avanzini.” he waves her off, immediately attempting to call her bluff.  “you’ve already put my blood pressure high enough. don’t pick the low fucking blows.”
“coach,” dani says simply, and her eyes flicker to you. 
you look back at her, and realize your dad is staring between the two of you. his face falls instantly as he sees the look you share.
“y/n, if she’s roped you into some prank, it’s not fucking funny, and this is not the time. this is serious, kiddo, you can’t let her use you to make a joke at my expense–”
your eyes meet dani’s once more, and you realize you have a choice. be stuck under his thumb forever, or choose to be impulsive and brave. 
and something about those eyes makes you feel like maybe, it wouldn’t kill you to be your own person. 
“i know daniela is a pain in your ass, but she’s also passionate, and brave, and she loves hard.” you start, and your dad groans in exasperation as he buries his face in his hands.
“not you, y/n, i literally told them the only rule was not you,” he sighs, before pointing back at daniela. “i should have known i couldn’t fucking trust you.”
“you don’t see the good side of her because you’re too busy wishing she was lara, or yunjin.”
you see dani and your dad tense simultaneously. 
“i’d be pretty annoying too if i couldn’t exist by myself,” you continue. “you’re always comparing her and she never gets a chance to just be celebrated for everything she does right.”
“no. not being trusted is a consequence of your own decisions,” he tells her.
“you don’t know everything about me,” daniela growls. 
“no, avanzini, i do know you,” he snaps back quickly, an accusing finger in her face. “i know you’re arrogant and hot-headed. i know you act first and think later, and that’s if you even think at all.”
“and all of those things make her someone you can depend on to give 110%,” you jump in to her defense. “do you know how many times she’s shown up to cheer someone up after a hard game? how she teaches others how to show up first to every practice? how she’s there the moment anyone needs someone? every time the girls start to beat themselves up because you’ve been a dick, she’s the first one helping them feel better about themselves.”
“it’s not just about being composed,” you go on, “it’s about being connected, and daniela cares about everyone equally. doesn’t pick favorites, unlike you.”
“y/n, are you trying to kill me?” he runs a hand over his bald head, his skin redder than you’ve ever seen it before. he glares once more over at daniela. “and you, shit-head, you are to stay away from my daughter or i kick you from the team.”
“i’m not approved to play anyways,” dani snaps back immediately. “you can’t stop me from shit.”
“kicking her isn’t your call,” you push back.
“she’s going to ruin your future,” he warns, but it feels like the weak final attempt of someone losing to try and get the upper hand.
“you not listening to anyone else is going to ruin yours. watch how your team falls apart without dani to guide them,” you snap back, grabbing daniela’s hand to yank her out of the office with you. “she’s not some fucking monster.”
you pause for a second in the doorway, before adding a final thought.
“and for the record, dad, dani did everything possible to ignore me. i sought her out, over and over, because she was the only person who treated me like a human being and not like your little puppet.”
your hands are shaking as you two simply keep walking, making your way out of the building. you’ve never once pushed back against him like that.
“holy shit,” daniela says simply, slumping up against the giant oak tree by the athletics building. 
it’s not enough for you, you’re all adrenaline, and if there was ever a time to claim and be claimed, it’s now.
“you could say it to my dad, right in his fucking face, and yet you can’t look me in the eyes and say it to me?” you tell her hurriedly, grabbing her hands and holding them in your own shaky ones. “you can look him in the eyes, tell him off, tell him you’re in love with me, and still not be able to look me in the eyes to say it here?”
“i didn’t think the chance would ever hit me again,” she admits. “i did it, but i was fucking scared.”
“big bad avanzini, scared?” you laugh, throwing your head back. “never thought i’d see the day.”
“i want to be a different person for you,” she tells you, her tone dropping into a more serious one, as she brushes a few strands of hair from your face. “a good one.”
“you are a good person,” you press, taking her face into your hand. “i wanted you then, before you knew you were good, and i want you now.”
“it’ll kill me if i hurt you,” she clenches her jaw.
“dani, we’ve already hurt each other and we weren’t even together.” you shake your head at all the time you two had wasted being stupid and playing games. “and you forgive me, and i still forgive you, and i still know you’re good at your core.”
“i want you bad, y/n,” she breathes shakily. “but things i’ve loved in my life never really end up working out.”
“because you sabotage them, thinking you’re not worth it.” you hold her perfect face in both of your hands, forcing her to look at you. “you are perfect for me.”
“it’s risky,” she warns you, but you can see her guard falling one last time. “being in love can be really fucking painful. it’s a huge risk.”
“luckily for me, i fell in love with the most reckless, relentless daredevil i’ve ever met,” you grin, and she matches your smile with her own. “i trust you, daniela avanzini. with my whole heart, actually.”
she pulls you into a searing kiss, and you realize it’s the first time you’ve ever kissed in the fresh air, not hidden in someone’s room or in a dark hallway. you relish it, her soft, warm lips against yours in the brisk winter time air, the way she pulls you in to press your bodies flush together. your heard thuds at the realization. 
it’ll be the first of many.  
-
megan taps the microphone nervously, pulling at her tie to loosen it. 
“uh, hi.”
tutor girl is recording next to you, looking like a proud soccer mom. she told you just moments before how hard megan had worked on this speech. the summertime pre-season press conference is no joke, usually it’s how the program will set the tone for the upcoming season, and the team is eagerly waiting in the front row of the conference seating to cheer on the ginger on stage.
“i take the torch of leadership from a mentor who is extremely dear to me.” she starts slowly, and you notice that she has no notes in front of her, having memorized the speech itself.  “i’m excited to work to bring out the best in this team, the way our former captain brought out the best in me, and in every one of us. i will aim high not to achieve, but to improve. all i will seek is that we improve upon ourselves, and the rest we’ll take as it comes for the love of this beautiful sport. thank you for believing in me, and i hope this season gives everyone something to be proud of. my name is megan skiendiel, and i am extremely honored to be named the women’s hockey team captain.”
she nods, bowing slightly, and stands up once the photos have all been taken.
dani watches on the other side of you, arms crossed. her lips are pressed into a grin. 
“you did this,” you tell her, motioning to the packed conference and the roars of cheering fans from outside the conference room. “your stubborn self made this all happen.”
“someone once described me as relentless,” she smiles, poking you in the hip.
“no, i said you’re annoying,” you correct, as the two of you make your way back towards the coach’s area.
“i’ll be honest, i probably wasn’t listening either way.” she teases, and you roll your eyes. “you start yapping and i get lost in those eyes.”
“okay, alright loverboy,” you push her face away, but she presses back twice as strong to plant a kiss on your cheek. you squeeze her cheek in response. “ugh, you’re so fucking cute it makes me aggressive.”
“you’re always aggressive,” she laughs. 
“don’t let anyone look at you during the faculty meeting,” you warn. “if someone smiles at you, you say–”
“‘i have a girlfriend, i love her with my whole heart, and she’ll kill you,’” dani nods, remembering the lines you two playfully ran the night before.
“you’re so good.” you hum happily.
“if anyone looks my way, i’ll call you and then punch them in the head,” she reassures you, laughing.
“no violence.” you warn her. “you’re not a frat boy any more.”
“i love you,” she says simply, but the firmness in her tone and the way she reaches for your hand speaks volumes. 
you grab her by the chin and stare deep into those beautiful dark eyes. her tooth gem sparkles as she smiles widely back at you. 
“be good, and have fun. i’ll wait for you at home.”
“naked, hopefully,” dani quips back quickly.
“we can’t keep traumatizing poor megan,” you laugh, shaking your head.
“you are the best thing that ever happened to me,” she tells you earnestly, eyes looking over you as if seeking something.
“if someone discovers how to quit you, i hope they let me know,” you wrap your arms around her neck and plant one last kiss on her forehead.
“hope that never fucking happens.” she says easily. “you’re stuck with my ass.”
“ugh.” you push her away with one last kiss to her cheek. “go be charming and stupid somewhere else before i drag you into a bathroom.”
she looks so fucking cute in the university polo. a popped collar and a red cup in her hands and she’d look much too comfortable throwing back to her frat boy days. she runs off and joins the familiar figure of your dad as the hockey program faculty head into a meeting room.
your dad shoves her, and she grins twice as big up at him as she jumps up to slap the back of his big, bald head and then sprints off. he grumbles something and you watch as the two disappear into the room with the rest of the staff. you couldn’t be more proud of the way dani has found a way to keep chasing her dreams.
daniela avanzini. incoming senior, and new assistant coach in training.
and, her title for you and you alone, daniela avanzini. the most passionate, caring, insanely brave girlfriend anyone could have ever imagined.
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