#te fuck recovery

[all-i-do-is-try1]

I had a much better relationship with food and listening to my body prior to treatment. Like yeah I had other unhealthy issues but that was solid

I don’t understand the point in timing people when they eat, some folks are just naturally slower and it’s better for digestion to eat slow anyway. As long as someone completes who the fuck cares about time. Turning meals into timed competitive eating contests is asking for issues

[notdelusionalatall]

losing my fucking mind i am almost year and a half sober and i am having alcohol withdrawals stonger than ever what the actual fuck

promazine, diazepam and music can save me now

[navillerainlove2]

TW: sh

.

.

Just passed an entire month without cvutting, actually i don't know how to feel about this, like i'm proud of myself but at the same time i'm scared.

I tried to quit multiple times, i even reached 2 months, but i always relapsed.

Also my oldest scars are fading away and i kinda don't like it, like i want a reminder.

Anyway i hope i will stay clean as long as i can.

Hope you guys going better too<3

[the-entitie]

"Just, please... please. I'll beg."

Poly_TF_141 x sex-demon_reader Prt:2

Read part 1 here 》 ....

A_N:... Continuation of the previous! This is part two, and to do with Werewolf Soap going into 'heat' but not the abo kinda heat. Soo, expect more wolf like behavior, and again, the same warnings apply.

CW.|.TW:... Sexual content. Intended male reader. Bottom but Dom reader. Polly-cule TF 141. Religious depictions of demons. Allusion to Reader having an Eating Disorder and the recovery there of. Ghost x Soap x Reader

It had taken some time and effort, but finally, finally, you were OK with the casual emotion that the team shared with one another.

Being a permanent member of the team seemed to help. You even put on weight in the recent months that you've actually fed semi regularly, although it wasn't anywhere near what you should be getting but it was miles better then the months you used to starve through.

Price made sure that any time between missions, there was some form of sexual intention in his team.

Not the hardest thing when all of them have been intemit with each other for years before you joined in with the physical side of things. And Price let you have your fill of him whenever he saw that drop in you again.

But someone else came knocking that night.

A blushing Soap who was leaning heavily on your door frame, looking almost shy for his bulkier body. He hardly says anything as you beckon him in. Eyes still down cast even as he leaves the door ajar and is sitting all but an inch away from you.

"I wan'ed te ask ya if yeh would..." he starts, blush spreading down his neck. "Can ye. I just wanted.."

That's when you felt a pulse of a sweeter emotion, a spiking arousal that was tainted with a primal urge. This absolute need for something so deeply sexual it was practically making your mouth water.

"Your lycanthopic urge?" You question,

"Aye, my heat kinda snuck up on me." He answers with a curt nod. Still not looking at you.

Your fingers find his chin, easily lifting his stubble edged jaw, so he was nose to nose with you.

Soap had dilated pupils, only elipsed by this thin sliver of his irus. Those needs already making his mind want to lean in and chase those lips of yours. Instead, he flicks his eyes back up, that emotion growing thicker, sweeter, with the movement.

"Just please..." he half begs, already so desperate. "Please. I'll beg. I'll go away if ye don't wanna, but I just.."

"Ok, I will lend you help."

You've hardly gotten the sentence out before Soap jumps you. Stealing breathless kiss after breathless kiss.

Guiding your hands to his skin, slipping them under his clothes, and soaking in the warmth with your skin on his. He gets so touch starved, so sensitive to it, when he's like this.

You near fucking his throat with a long split toungue isn't helping him think any more coherently. He tried to ignore the gentle tangle of your hands as you started getting him undressed. Body more demonic with the crackling desires streaming from Johnny's need for intimacy.

"You still got your mind in one peace there lad?"

A deep rumble follows from the door, Ghost standing there with his head tilted. Commenting, "Dumb Mutt just got one thing on his mind."

"You came to watch or pass along something or another."

"Oh, I wanna watch."

Simon crosses the distance from the door to your bed in two quick strides, fingers gliding in the panting Soap's hair. Pulling him back by the grip he has on the werewolf's Mohawk.

"Mainly to see this one don't hurt ya, hun. But to see if yah would need help."

Johnny rolls his hips against your thigh, toungue lulling out past his fangs and bruised lips. Eyes unfocused as he tries to keep his body still while miserably failing.

"Can get a bit one tracked and forget who's helpen 'em. And Price warned me yah got a habit of ignoring yourself."

"Acceptable. Just help me strip him before he cums in his pants."

"Alright hun."

You end up kneeling with Soap, hopelessly humping against your thighs with you stretching out your back so you can reach for Ghost as he leans back. Your hands trace over the fat of his thighs before using your tail to wrap around Johnny's waist, keeping a firm grip to help him actually get what he wants.

His cock already painfully hard, pulsing with each beat his heart had. He was happy to be pulled to where you wanted him, all but panting into your nape as he ruts up against you.

It's always that first breach that knocks the breath from you, but Soap sits still after he's fully sheathed. Just trying to feel as much as he can with skin against skin as that lusty haze fills his mind.

When he does start moving, it's at a brutal pace. Hardly pulling out before shoving back in all the way. Jolting your whole body.

That thickly suffocating emotion had your throat vibrating in the closest thing your kin could produce to a purr. Easily keeping him steady and against you with your tail. You could feel his back tense and ripple with each roll of his hips, with your tail snugly against his waist as he licks along any skin he can.

You heal too fast for him to see the hackies he's working along your shoulders, but the darker marks of his teeth do stick just a bit longer.

It's Simon who traces the rivets of your ram like horns, eyes watching the hitch in your breath. Fingers ever so gentle as he traces all the dents and scrapes along them; careful to rub his palms down the curve against your skull. And you can taste the lust that's just as strong from him.

When Soap had cum with a snarl, as he bared his teeth against your spine, you could feel how the tired feeling was pulsing along the need to keep going. He was hard and needy as he couldn't set a rhythm with the fatigue settling along.

He must have tried to get off before getting the courage to ask for your help.

Feeling a bit sorry for the werewolf, you roll him over; turning to face Simon as you hover over Johnny's body. Watching as Soap mouths over Simon's dick through his boxers, those sex blown eyes watching him.

When you started the roll off your hips, against the shivering Soap who moans egging you on; you saw Ghost lift his gaze. Watching you ride the other with ease.

"Shit." Ghost comments,

He hefts himself up to his knees, nearly covering Johnny's face with his crotch. The wolf didn't seem to mind. Just mouthing and licking at all he could reach. Soaking more of the fabric with his spit.

"Price gave this view no justice when he told me 'bout it."

Redoubled your efforts as more warmth flooded you, but Soap didn't soften. He only meets every roll down with a thrust up.

"Don't know why any of you enjoy it, and not the action."

Johnny is whimpering under Ghost, body trembling in over stimulation. Mind lost in the throws of the absolute pleasure you're helping pump through his very soul.

"More ta do with ya looking like yah enjoying yaself then the act alone."

"You have to be none-"

Those fingers dance over your horns, finally pulling a quiet noise from you. He leaned into you, sharing the quick hiffs of air you're both taking.

"That," Ghost repeats the action. You don't moan this time, but the effect is still evident. "Is what we enjoy of this."

"Prove it."

"Gladly hun." Before his eyes roll back into his skull, "Fuck... watch the teeth soldier."

Soap had pulled his boxers off with just his teeth, getting to his dick. At the comment, Johnny bared his teeth against the intimate skin of Simon's inner thigh. So close to him that the danger runs his blood just that bit hotter.

And for all that Ghost likes the danger, that bit of pain, he doesn't actually want to bite him. And not nearly as hard as he bites at you.

"He will tire out soon, just a warning."

Simon clasps at your horns, pulling you closer by them.

"Not for long hun, he'll be up and wanting more in no time." He presses his lips against yours, mumbling with a smirk, "and I wanna tag team him when he does."

[ihathbenobiwankenobied]

Obi-Wan Hurt/Comfort and Whump Rec 1: Long Fics

Some of my favorite multi-chaptered or longer form fics (>10K). These are whump, sickfics, angst fics, and hurt/comfort with some very general tags and descriptions. Please make sure you note the tags on ao3 before reading.

I tried to tag everyone I could find here on tumblr, but if you see your fic and want a tag, let me know and I'll add it in. To all the writers, thank you for these fics, I have read each of them multiple times and I am fucking in love with all of them.

Here we go, in no particular order:

Good Man of War - scrapathon

Codywan, OC clones and medics, 16.2K

This fic is so well written and it has some really well-characterized OC clones, including clone medic Zero, as well as a bit of codywan (which I can't resist).

Things Hidden, Things Forgotten- sospes

Codywan, Zygerria/Kadavo arc, 23.5K

This writer has some of the best codywan fics on their roster, but this one absolutely destroys me everytime. This fic covers Zygerria and gets into some of the emotional aspects of the experience for Obi-Wan.

Shoulder the Sky - @kcrabb88

Quinobi, rewritten ending for Palpatine, 149.4K

This fic is part one of the Shoulder the Sky Verse series and is one of my favorite fics of all time. This fic is incredibly detailed, and every character get's their time in the spotlight. The Obi-Wan whump is absolutely delicious, and lasts basically the entirety of this fic. The plot follows Obi-Wan's discovery of the identity of Darth Sidious and how this changes the course of the end days of the Clone Wars.

Whispers from the Dead - @kcrabb88

Quinobi, PTSD and medical trauma, 210K as of 8.14.2023 (WIP)

Another part of the Shoulder the Sky Verse series (please read the fic above first). This fic is a WIP and every time there is a new chapter I drop everything to read it. Equally as emotionally damaging, equally as much whump, and equally perfect characterizations of every single character. I won't spoil the plot, but it's a perfect continuation of the series.

Gaping Hollow - Walpger

Gen - Obi-Wan, Cody, and Ahsoka, Force-exhaustion and hypothermia, 18.1K

Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, and Cody are trapped in a cave on the ice-planet Vandor and Obi-Wan uses the Force to keep them both warm and alive. This leads to impending Force-exhaustion. This is one of the earliest Obi-Wan-centric h/c fics I read and I love how the author describes Obi-Wan's use of the Force.

Enforced Convalescence - @swbumblebee

Gen - Obi-Wan, clones, and Jedi, sickfic/illness and fluff, 12.5K

Obi-Wan is ill and requires babysitting because he doesn't really know how to rest. This fic is endlessly soft, and Obi-Wan gets taken care of for once in his life. This author writes delightfully soft fics and this one is one of my absolute favorites.

Uja Nejah - @ijustreallylovedaredevil

Gen - Obi-Wan, OC clone medic Stim, clone troopers, Cody, diabetes and medical accuracy, 34.2K

Possibly my favorite fic of all time? Perhaps? Anything by whitchry9 is pure gold and this fic is only one example. This fic follows Obi-Wan's journey through his life as a Jedi diagnosed with diabetes. Deliciously whump, and my favorite OC clone medic, stim. You might as well read the whole series: a series of fics in which Obi Wan Kenobi having a disability somehow saves the galaxy

Iviin’hiibi te Tuur - @ijustreallylovedaredevil

Gen - Obi-Wan, OC clone medic Stim, clone troopers, Cody, epilepsy and medical accuracy, 16.4K

Surprise, surprise, yet another whitchry9 fic. This one is about Obi-Wan's life with epilepsy. This fic also has Stim and has a few extra oneshots that can be read with it.

every shadow - @kenobster

Gen - Obi-Wan, Anakin, Rex, Ahsoka, Cody, 501st, Zygerria/Kadavo arc and recovery, 34.9K as of 8.14.2023 (WIP)

This fic is a WIP and at 3/9 chapters, so I am going to to use part of the author's summary here: "during the mass casualty event following Kadavo and Zygerria, Obi-Wan and Anakin seek ways to cope with trauma." I am absolutely glued to this fic, and have already read all three chapters multiple times.

Finding Obi-Wan - @stolen-pen-name23

Gen - Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka, amnesia and angst, 86.8K

For the record, I think I read the entirety of this fic in one day because I just couldn't put it down. In this fic, Obi-Wan loses his memory and finds himself in the lower levels of Coruscant.

something inside this heart has died (you're in ruins) - revanchxst (BadWolfGirl01)

Codywan (implied or pre-slash), Zygerria/Kadavo arc, 22.6K

In this fic, Cody joins Obi-wan on the Zygerria arc rather than Rex. Very painful with a sprinkling of codywan. 1000 kudos for this fic.

The Consequences of a Crash - happygiraffe

Gen or pre-slash Obi-Wan & Anakin, crash-landing injury/infection, 44.9K

ALRIGHT. Alright. This is the first long-fic I read in this fandom, and remains one of my favorites to this day. Delicious whump, a really wonderful look at Obi-Wan and Anakin's relationship, especially as Anakin has just become a Jedi Knight. I reread this one at least once a month.

See My Dreams All Die - @hellotemporaryuniverse

Obi-Wan & Cody (implied codywan), torture by Darth Sidious, 34.7K

This fic is absolutely brutal in the best way. In this fic, Anakin dies and Sidious is looking for a new apprentice. Such good whump.

From the Same Stone - @kckenobi

Gen - Obi-Wan & Anakin, concussion and poisoning, 8.1K

I'm already breaking my own rules, because this fic is under 10K, but this fic is one of my favorites and it's just long enough that it felt like it should be included on this list. In this fic, Obi-Wan and Anakin get trapped in a mine and are slowly ingesting a toxin.

|to failure, sweet victor| - littlekaracan

Codywan, angst and physical fights, 20K

This fic is as fucking bittersweet as it gets. Absolutely destroys me with every read. This fic follows Obi-Wan and Cody on Tatooine, but Cody's chip can't be removed until it has deteriorated to a certain point. As a result, sometimes Cody isn't quite himself.

battle scars - series - @calltomuster

Gen - Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, and Anakin, PTSD and medical trauma, 27.2K

This series gets into some of Obi-Wan's medical trauma and why avoids medical treatment. I can't get enough of the OC clone medic, Fuzzy, and I love how well the author writes Obi-Wan's PTSD.

shoulder the sky - series - Night_Fury

Codywan, Cerasi & Obi-Wan Kenobi & Nield, Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan, PTSD, temporary death, recovery, 196.1K

What can I say about this series? Probably too much. You will just need to read it to find out. Just read it.

chronic conditions - @deniigi

Codywan and clones, epilepsy and chronic illness, 13.1K

Yet another epileptic Obi-wan fic, this one through the lens of Kix and Cody. I am absolutely mesmerized by how this author writes, and I keep going back to this one over and over again.

Six Times Ahsoka Thought Her Grandmaster Was Dead, and the One Time He Actually Was - @pandora15 and lazarusII

Gen - Obi-Wan & Ahsoka, deathfic, 12.3K

The title says it all. You will be in pain.

heavy off a golden hue - @catboydogma

Codywan, hanahaki and chronic illness, 36.7K

This is a series which looks at Obi-Wan's life with chronic Hanahaki. This is such an amazing series, another set of fics I read in one sit-down.

Suddenly this is defeat - ealcynn

Gen, Landing at Point Rain and major injury, 13.3K

This fic is in first-person POV and does an incredible job of portraying Obi-Wan's perspective on the events based on the episode Landing at Point Rain.

This incessant snow - ealcynn

Gen, Landing at Point Rain and major injury, 20.7K

Part two to the above fic. Another extremely well-written fic. I absolutely adore the way Obi-Wan is written.

We Can Be Beautiful - OuzoAthena11

Codywan, panic attacks, 23.2K

The fic summary on ao3 says it best, "Five times Obi-Wan deals with anxiety or a panic attack and one time he causes minor anxiety in someone else." Really well written and soft fic.

Count My Little Scars I've Got Dozens Inside - nuclearturtle

Codywan (as adults), angst and de-aging, 27.1K

A de-aged Obi-Wan fic where Dooku attempts to gain his trust, but inevitably, doesn't. Very angsty. Extremely angsty.

Conjuring Miracles - @kcrabb88

Gen - Obi-Wan, Leia, Tala, Vader, PTSD, 29.8K

Another one by this author. In this fic, Tala doesn't get to Obi-Wan in time, and he ends up being taken with Leia to the the inquisitor base. There, he encounters Vader.

Rapture - @galateagalvanized

Codywan, depowered character, 62.5K

I think the summary on ao3 says it best, "An independent terrorist cell has developed a weapon capable of severing the bond between a Jedi and the Living Force. They test it on High General Obi-Wan Kenobi." Wonderful whump mixed with a great story, and of course, codywan.

Always Gold - happygiraffe

Gen - Obi-Wan & Anakin, terminal illness/cancer, 10K

In this fic, Obi-Wan is dying of cancer and just wants the best for his padawan. Prepare yourself, this one hurts.

As an Obi-Wan whump writer myself, I can't help but throw a couple of my own here (not that these are by any means on par with the quality of the incredible fics above). I have linked a couple below if you are interested:

orbit me slowly

Codywan, burns and recovery, 15.3K

After an injury leaves Obi-Wan down and out, he realizes that time isn't as unlimited as he once believed

green is the colour

Codywan, sickfic and injury, 14K

Obi-Wan, sick with the flu, is cornered by hundreds of droids. Cody and Anakin come to his rescue, but there is unresolved tension between them.

Hope you all enjoy this list!

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 40

Summary : Y/N tells Marshall she cheated on him.

Tags : Angst - Smut - Fluff

Thank you again to @shady-577 who kindly agreed to read this chapter beforehand and did a great job at motivating me when I was writing that SMUTTY part 🥵

Marshall stared at you for what felt like ages. He wasn’t mad, no. He was beyond livid. You’d seen him angry and pissed off before… or so you thought. He didn’t need to say a single word, though. The energy he exuded was enough for the whole block to know go he felt. You were feeling ashamed and helpless. It felt like there was absolutely nothing you could do and you just had to wait for his wrath to come down on you. Whatever it was that he was ready to throw at you, it was probably deserved, and there was no denying that. At some point, he had been silent for so long that you avoided his gaze. Him starting at you so silently was almost creepy. You were just sitting here, tears streaming down your face, waiting for him to say a word.

- Did he force you ? He finally asked.

- He didn’t, you said as you kept on crying.

- You wanted it ?! He asked in disbelief.

- No, I-, you began.

- So he did force you, he said as he cut you.

- No, you cried. I mean… I’m the one who kissed him.

- No you weren’t, he said. You wouldn’t do that. You would never.

- I did, you cried. And I’m so sorry. But I… I…

- You what ? He spat. You fell and your tongue accidentally ended up in his mouth ?!

- I kissed him because I needed to feel good again, you cried. I kissed him because I felt dirty and ashamed because the one person who said he would always have my back and protect me fed me to the wolves. I have spent all week being harassed on social media, witnessing people celebrating the return of Slim Shady and making awful montages of me ! I was feeling worthless and he was there. So yes, I kissed him. Because, for one split second, I felt seen and worthy again. I kissed him because I wanted to feel loved.

You were bawling, struggling to get the words out of your mouth, but it felt good. You could feel Marshall staring at you even though it was hard to decipher his expression, your vision being clouded by the tears in your eyes.

- I know I shouldn’t have, you said. I know it’s wrong and I hate myself for betraying you this way. I’m so sorry… and I know cheating is never ok but…

- Did you sleep with him ? He asked.

- No, you replied earnestly. It was just a kiss.

- How was it ?

- How was what ? You asked confused.

- Describe it, he instructed. I want to know.

- I… it was a kiss, you said. Just a kiss.

- How did it feel ? He asked. Did you like it ?

- Familiar, you replied. Comfortable. But I-I didn’t like it.

- Why is that ?

- Marshall, do we have to do this ? You asked with pleading eyes. I’m so sorry…

- Answer me, he said coldly.

- I… I didn’t like it because it didn’t feel right, you said. I immediately regretted it. Because it was familiar and it felt safe but it wasn’t you.

- Do you love him ? He asked. Is he the one you want to be with ?

- No. Of course not ! You cried. You’re the one I want to be with ! But I was hurt, and lost, and I know it doesn’t make it right but… there’s nothing else I can say. I fucked up.

He nodded and stayed silent. He took his face in his hands and didn’t move for a couple of minutes. Then, he took a breath and looked at you intently.

- Alright, he said.

- Alright ? You asked nervously.

- Do you want to be with me ? He asked back.

- I… yes, you said.

You were lost. You expected him to leave you on the spot, insult you… hell, even though you knew he wasn’t violent, you would have expected him to hit you rather than the reaction he was having.

- Good, he said. We’re going to get through it.

- Aren’t you mad ? You asked in confusion.

- I’m not mad, Y/N, he stated. I am beyond mad. But it doesn’t change what I said ten minutes ago. I love you, I want to be with you and we will get through this.

- O-ok, you said as you tried to dry your tears.

- Here’s what we’re going to do : you’re going to pack your bags and you’re coming home with me. Tonight. And tomorrow, I’m booking a therapy session for the both of us. Alright ?

- Ok, you nodded nervously.

You went upstairs and quickly prepared your things. When you went back downstairs, he was speaking with Talia and Jamal. Things seemed tense but civil nonetheless. You hugged your friends and thanked them profusely for taking care of you.

- Call us if you need anything, baby, Talia said.

- Of course, you replied.

- And you, Jamal told Marshall, you better take good care of her. Understood ? I swear on Talia, if you fuck it up…

- Yeah, Marshall replied. I know.

They stared at each other for a second before eventually dapping each other and you went on your way. The car ride home was relatively silent. You weren’t too sure what to say. As soon as Marshall said he wanted to work things out and that he didn’t want to dump you, you had felt relieved but now it was becoming apparent that the hardest part might be in front of you, not behind. He carried your bags and you went to the bedroom.

- Time for bed, he said. You look exhausted. I’ll call the therapist in the morning.

- Ok, you said timidly. Marshall, I… I’m really sorry, you know ?

- I know, he said. I’m sorry too.

You looked in his eyes, hoping to find something you could hold on to, in order to feel safe, more at ease. He was staring intently but his jaw was clenched. There was a hardness to him. You immediately lowered your gaze. He placed a hand on your shoulder and a chaste kiss on your forehead.

- I’ll let you get ready for bed, he said.

- Aren’t you coming ? You asked nervously.

- Yeah, in a minute.

He disappeared and you unpacked your bags, before grabbing a nightgown and matching silk robe from your closet. You got in bed and waited for Marshall. It was your first time sleeping in your bed in a week and, even though it was your house, your bedroom, it felt foreign. Without Marshall by your side, the bed was cold. You waited for a couple of hours but he didn’t come. You nervously got up and went downstairs, where you found him sitting on the couch, face in his hands.

- Marshall…? You asked.

- Sorry, he said. I’m coming. I just need a minute.

- Are you alright…?

- Of course not, he scoffed. How the fuck can I be alright when my woman kissed someone else ?! When someone else touched her ?! How can you expect me to be alright when you went and made out with your fucking ex boyfriend ?!

- I’m sorry, you said as tears started welling in your eyes.

- Being sorry doesn’t change anything, he replied coldly. I should know.

You nodded nervously as the tears started to silently stream down your face. He looked at you and sighed.

- Go back to bed, honey, he said. I’ll sleep here tonight.

- You could always take the guest room, you said.

- I’d rather keep my distance, he said. I’m sorry.

- And not even sleep on the same floor ? You asked. Look, if you don’t think we can-

- I want us to work things out, he said. I do. And I want you with me. That’s the plan. But right now, I’m pissed and you don’t want me around, babe. I swear.

- Why ? You asked as you sat next to him. You said we can get through this. Because it’s us.

- Because, right now, the only thing on my mind is to remind you of whose girlfriend you are, he groaned. Of who you belong to. Of taking back everything that’s mine, that this motherfucker got his hands on.

His eyes were dark and, from the tone of his voice, you knew just how he wanted to remind you that you were his. Truth was, even when you kissed Simon, you had never stopped being Marshall’s. Not even for a second. Which was probably the worst thing about all of it. You looked at him for a second and let your silk robe fall to the floor, leaving you in your nightgown. He stared at you intently, not saying a word.

- ok, you simply whispered.

- You want this ? He asked with a raised eyebrow.

- I want you, you nodded.

- I won’t be nice, he said.

- Don’t be nice, then.

His arm reached for you and pulled you to him. You were straddling his lap, trying to find balance when he kissed you hungrily. One of his hands was on your hip while the other was on your neck, letting you know he was in charge. You weren’t wearing anything under your nightgown, so your pussy was completely bare against his thigh. You let out a moan and he gently bit your lip before resuming the intense making out.

- Is that how you kissed him ? He asked. Did he ever kiss you like this ?

- N-No, you said breathily.

- Good, he said coldly. Now, tell me, where did he touch you ?

- What ? You asked in confusion.

- Where were his hands ? He asked. I need to know.

- He… he cupped my face, you said nervously. And he touched my shoulder… and he had his hand on my hip.

He brought a hand to your face, stroking your cheek. Then, he placed his hands right where you had described Simon touching you.

- like this ? He asked.

- Yes, you nodded.

He tightened his grip on you and kissed you again, making you feel just how possessive he was.

- You said you were mine, he reminded you. The night we got together. You said it.

- I am yours, you replied in a pleading voice.

- So you think you can just go and give away what is mine ? He groaned.

- N-No, you said. I’m yours. I’m all yours.

- Is that mouth mine ? He asked in between kisses.

- Yes, you almost cried. It’s yours.

- Show me, then, he directed.

You proceeded to kiss him softly, cupping his face, running your fingers in his hair. He hummed into the kiss before letting out a groan. Then, without giving you any notice, he planted a kiss in your neck before sucking on it, causing you to gasp a the intensity. You knew it would leave a mark but you didn’t care one bit in that moment. Then, his mouth went to your shoulder, right where Simon had touched you, and he bit it, not too harshly, but enough for his teeth to leave a mark.

- Mine, he groaned. You’re mine.

You nodded and, before you could say anything, he was ripping your silk nightgown off your body and biting your hip before sucking on it, causing you to let out a small cry. His piercing blue gaze inspected you, as if to make sure you were ok, and he kissed you again, letting his hands wander on your body. You were under his spell, willing to please him and let him know you were his, his only. You fell to your knees and looked at him, asking for permission. He simply nodded, letting you get to work. You undid his sweatpants and boxers, letting his cock spring free. You pumped it a couple of times before starting to lick and suck on it. You closed your eyes, focusing, and heard him gasp as his length reached the back of your throat, triggering a bit of a gag reflex on your part. You kept on sucking, trying to take as much of him as you could.

- This mouth is mine, huh ? He asked.

You nodded and he gently stroked your cheek before putting your hair into a makeshift ponytail and using it to direct your movements. Before you knew it, he was fucking your mouth as you were trying to keep up. You were a drooling mess, with tears streaming down your cheeks. You half expected him to come in your mouth but he didn’t. In fact, he kept going for a long time, your jaw starting to ache. At one point, though, you couldn’t take it anymore and had to tap on his thigh to let him notice you were gasping for air. When he let go of your mouth, his cock was shining, full of your saliva. While you were composing yourself, breathing some much needed air, he shed the rest of his clothes and, when he was done, he grabbed your hand and helped you get back up.

- I’m not done with you, he said. I’m going to remind you who you belong to. So that you never forget it again.

You nodded and he kissed you before having you bend over the dining room table, your tits against the cold glass. You felt his hand on your butt, squeezing it, giving it a little slap. He kneeled behind you and started licking your pussy, no doubt feeling how wet you were. You could hear the sound of your own arousal when he inserted two fingers, curving them so they’d hit just the right spot. His tongue was stroking your clit, making you see stars.

- I’m going to come, you warned.

- No, he said firmly as he stopped what he was doing.

- Wh-what ? You asked.

- I decide when you come, he said. You don’t.

You were about to protest when he grabbed you firmly and had you sit on the edge of the table before entering you. You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, trying to find balance while he was pounding hard into you. He usually gave you some time to get used to him being inside but not this time. You were gasping and moaning each time he hit your cervix. And right when you were going to come, he stopped and had you change position, putting you in doggystyle on the couch. He resumed the thrusting, one hand playing with your clit, the other gently teasing your asshole while he was pounding into you. This had you losing your mind and you were unable to hold your orgasm. Your legs were shaking and tears were rolling down your cheeks as you were crying in pleasure.

- What did I say about cumming ? Marshall asked.

- I’m sorry, you panted.

- If you want orgasms, I’ll give you some, he said with a grin.

He made you come again and again, using and abusing your holes. Everything around you was a blur and your senses could only focus on Marshall, sliding in and out of you, leaving bites all over your body. You weren’t even capable of forming coherent thoughts and simply mumbled « ohs » and « ahs ». With everybody orgasm, you were sure you couldn’t take any more but he gladly proved you wrong.

- Did he ever fuck you like this ? He asked.

- Who ?

- That motherfucker, he groaned. Don’t make me say his name. Did he ever make you come like this ? Did he ever make you squirt like that ?

- N-no, you cried. No, he didn’t.

- That’s right, he said as he kept on stroking your clit.

You could feel your limbs spasming and, as he tried to get you to ride him, you found that you were absolutely unable to stand. You started doubting that you were able to go again but he encouraged you as he fucked himself into you.

- One more, baby, he said. Give me one more.

- I can’t, you cried.

- Yes you can, he said before biting your neck once again.

Your eyes rolled back into your skull and, for half a second, you wondered if there was such a thing as dying from too many orgasms. Was it the death you were destined to die ? Dying in the arms of Marshall as he bottomed into you, causing screams of equal pain and pleasure ? But you couldn’t tell him to stop. Not even if you wanted to. And you didn’t even want to. You felt your muscles contracting around him one last time and he almost stopped, causing you to whimper and cry in frustration.

- Whose pussy is it ? He asked.

- Min- No, no, yours !

- Who do you belong to ? He asked again.

- You, you cried. I-I belong to you.

He let out a grunt and thrusted into you a couple more times, chasing both of your highs. You felt him twitch inside of you as he came inside, before collapsing on top of you. You were trembling and shuddering, crying tears of pleasure and pain. You were sure you blacked out for a moment. When you came to your senses, Marshall’s fingers were tracing the features on your face.

- I love you, he said emotionally.

- I love you too, you mumbled.

- Are you ok ? He asked with a concerned look.

- Mmmmmh, you groaned.

- Mmmh yes or mmmmh no ? He asked with a raised eyebrow.

- Mmmyes, you painfully articulated.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead and you realized just how sweaty you were. You were laying on the floor, in a puddle of your own release. As you slowly regained your senses, you took notice of just how sore you were and, as soon as you tried sitting up, you let out a painful gasp. Evidently, your body has been put through a lot.

- Don’t move, honey, he directed.

- M’so sore, you complained.

- I bet, he said softly. How about a bath ?

You nodded and closed your eyes. You were feeling completely spent and unsure whether or not you’d be able to move ever again. He lifted you and carried you bridal style to the bathroom where he drew a bath for the both of you. He was incredibly soft and gentle, contrasting with the roughness with which he had fucked you senseless. Every part of your body was sore, from your throat to your pussy and ass, to your legs, without mentioning your neck and back. Marshall gently lathered you with soap and massaged your back. As his hands went to your legs, you automatically closed them.

- Don’t worry, I’m done with you for now, he chuckled.

- You better be, you mumbled. Nearly killed me.

He scoffed and placed a small kiss on your shoulder before applying some cleanser to your face, which direly needed it. Between drool, sweat and other bodily fluids that had dried on it, it felt terrible. You closed your eyes and enjoyed the softness of Marshall’s touch. He seemed to be back to his and loving self. When you were done with the bath, he wrapped you in a towel and carried you to the bedroom. He let you down on the bed and went to his closet to get some comfy clothes for you to wear.

- Sorry I tore the nightgown, babe, he said as he helped you get dressed. I’ll get you another one.

- Ok, you yawned.

You let your head fall on the pillow and he pressed a kiss to your forehead, making sure you were comfortable. He asked you a couple of questions but most of your responses were monosyllabic. You were all sore, fucked-out and overall exhausted. He got up and, as he reached the door, you were suddenly worried.

- You’re leaving ? You asked anxiously in a throaty voice.

- I think I have some cleaning to do downstairs, he replied with a smirk.

- Oh, right, you mumbled.

- I’ll come back with water and snacks in a few. You just rest, ok ?

- Thanks for taking care of me, you whispered.

- I love you, you know ? He asked.

- I love you too, you said emotionally. And I am yours. All yours.

- I know, he said.

He went downstairs and you glanced at the window. It was already morning and the sun was rising. It was beautiful and it gave you a sense of peace. When Marshall came back, you were staring at the sun dreamily. He handed you a bottle of water and sat in bed next to you.

- It’s beautiful, you said.

- It is, he agreed.

You turned and noticed he was staring at you. You blushed and lowered your gaze. He cupped your face and kissed you gently.

- We should sleep, baby, he said.

You nodded and laid down. He cuddled you in a spoon position, stroking your hair and tracing circles on your scalp.

- Are you ok ? You asked. Are you still… mad ?

- I don’t know. I think I’m still hurt, he admitted.

- I’m sorry, you said. I really am…

- I know, baby, he said. So am I.

- Do you think we’ll be ok ? You asked nervously.

- I hope so, he said. That’s what I want. I want us to forgive each other and move on.

You nodded and turned around, burying your face in his neck. He mumbled a few love words in your ear and you fell asleep in his arms.

When you woke up, you were still exhausted. You were alone in bed and assumed Marshall had gone to the studio to get some work done. Your whole body was sore and you struggled to get out of bed to go downstairs. As soon as you got in the living room, you were met with Marshall, who was speaking to Tracy. You immediately felt self-conscious to appear in Marshall’s clothes, with messy hair and a morning face. You also wondered what she was doing here. You knew that, before you lived here, she often came to Marshall’s place for work purposes, but ever since you had moved in, she hadn’t been around - which was fine with you.

- Hey babe, Marshall said with a smile. Didn’t think you’d be up so early.

- Bed was empty, you shrugged. Hi Tracy.

- Hi, Y/N, she said rather awkwardly. I… didn’t realize you were back.

- I am, you said equally awkwardly. I… live here, you know ?

- I know, she said. I just… Marshall mentioned you weren’t there, lately. But I’m glad to see you’re back !

The whole thing was rather awkward. She was staring at you intently. You were in Marshall’s clothes and it definitely had a pajama feel to it, but at least, you were decent. You shot a glance at Marshall, as if to ask what her deal was. He stared back and pretended to scratch his neck. You raised an eyebrow and looked at the mirror. You were wearing an oversized tee-shirt and sweatpants but they didn’t hide the marks all over your arms and necks. You looked as if you’d been in a car crash, or attacked by some psychopath. You expected to see some hickies, but were definitely surprised to notice bruises and some distinct bite marks, in your neck and all over your arms. You didn’t even remember Marshall biting you there. You covered your mouth and felt your face flush with embarrassment.

- So, there’s what you asked for, Tracy said as she handed Marshall a bag. I’ll be at the office with Paul all day. Call me if you need anything ?

- Thanks, Marshall said. Can you cancel my recording session with Royce tomorrow ? I need the afternoon free.

She left and Marshall handed you the bag Tracy had given him. It was a new phone.

- Sent her to the Apple Store this morning, he chuckled. Figured you’d need a new one.

- Thanks, you said before kissing his cheek. I wondered what she was doing here.

- I know you don’t like being around her, but I couldn’t exactly go there by myself without causing a riot, he chuckled. Last time I tried was a nightmare. I would have ordered in online but delivery takes longer.

- I’ll admit that having an assistant must come in handy, you giggled. She did not seem happy to see me.

- I think she was just surprised, he shrugged. By your appearance, mostly.

- Speaking of which… you fucking marked me !

- I think I got a little carried away, he admitted. But in my defense, every time I bit you, you moaned in pleasure. I simply obliged.

- So it’s not a revenge because you’re jealous ? You asked with a raised eyebrow.

- I’ll plead the fifth, he chuckled. Guess it’ll serve as a reminder that you are spoken for. Both for you and the rest of the world.

- I think the rest of the world will call 911 if they see me like this, you pointed out. You’re crazy !

- About you, yes, he said with a smile. Speaking of crazy… we have an appointment for therapy tomorrow.

- Ok, you said nervously. Do you think it’s going to work ?

- I’m willing to try anything, he said. I’m not losing you. I’m not giving up on us.

[slutforsilverfoxes]

Prejudice & Pride

[A/N: Me: has a terrible interaction with a tech. Me immediately after escaping from said interaction: starts drafting Hotch feat. praise kink bc he Would Not Stand For This 🥺 It’s consequently more fluff than my other kinktober posts, pls indulge me]

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x gender neutral reader (praise kink)

🎃🖤🎃🖤🎃🖤🎃🖤🎃🖤

Aaron can’t help the smile that graces his face when he walks in to find his apartment smelling like your newest candle obsession, bought on a whim during a recent excursion to the mall because it sniffs like your cologne. He spots the key he had given you on the hook by the door, the smile on his face widening when he drops his own set of keys beside it. “Honey?” he calls out into the dimly lit space. “We caught a tailwind, so I’m back early.”

“Living room,” you answer, tone void of your usual excitement to have him home with you.

“Hey,” he croons upon entering the living room, noting a half-empty bottle of moscato on the table by the melting candle and your body bundled up on the couch. “Rough day?”

With a sniffle, you part with your wine glass and look up at him with a pout that tugs at his heartstrings. “Fucking shit day. I’m so happy you’re home,” you sigh, reaching your hands up toward him.

Aaron takes the hint, shedding his suit jacket and loosening his tie before lifting you into his arms and settling on the couch with you in his lap. His hands immediately go to work, one softly scratching along your spine, the other carding through your hair.

“Baby,” you whisper, tracing his lips with your index finger before pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I know you found the missing kiddos, but are you okay? Cases with kids are always hard on you.”

“Oh, angel,” he sighs, pausing his soothing patterns to give you an affectionate squeeze. “I’m glad they’re home safe with their parents.”

“You’re so good at what you do, Aaron,” you say, voice wavering with awe and a hint of sadness, if he’s not mistaken. “I’m so, so proud of you.”

He brushes a strand of hair off your forehead before tilting your chin up until your gaze meets his. “Did someone make you feel like you’re not?”

“See?” you ask, bottom lip trembling. “You’re a damn good profiler.”

“Tell me what happened.”

You launch into a blow by blow recounting of your no good, very bad day from only getting to down two sips of your coffee before being pulled into a case to working with a technician who made you feel downright incompetent. “-and the thing is, the thing is, I was alone in the OR with my patient- anesthetized okay?”

“I’m following,” Aaron says with a nod, swiping at the errant tears of frustration running down your heated cheeks.

“So clearly I know what I’m doing, right?”

“Of course you do,” he’s quick to affirm, lips tugging into a frown at the doubt blanketing your words.

“And he was fine. Stable throughout, no issues in recovery or anything. And she was kind of nice to me afterwards? I don’t know,” you sigh, voice dropping low while you distract yourself playing with his tie. “I just felt really stupid about every little decision I made. Maybe I’m not cut out for this field.”

“Excuse me?”

You balk at the subtle growl in Aaron’s voice, looking up at him meekly. “Aar, I-”

“I know you didn’t work your ass off to get into this program, spend sleepless days and nights studying, and rack up hours upon hours of experience at the hospital just to let one technician’s shitty attitude dissuade you from following your dreams.”

Overcome with emotion, tears pool in your eyes again and you shake your head at his much needed tough love.

“This-” He cups your face in his large hands before continuing, “This is your passion, baby. You were meant to do this, to help and heal those who need it most. And you are not going to let others’ bitterness stand in your way. Am I clear?”

Managing to muster up a smile, you nod and respond, “Clear, Unit Chief Hotchner, sir.”

“I’m serious.”

“I know you are. You have your Hotch frown on,” you tease, swiping your thumb across his downturned bottom lip.

His frown deepens at your playful ribbing, and he rises abruptly so that you’re forced to wrap your legs around his waist and cling to him while he strides purposefully down the hallway towards the master bedroom. “You don’t understand how serious I am about this,” he accuses, and you dot his neck with kisses while assuring, “No, no, I definitely do, and I appreciate you for it.”

“But your confidence is still shaken,” he intuits, and he can feel the sigh that rattles through you in response. “Well that simply won’t do, sweetheart.”

__________

“Say it,” Aaron growls out, a bead of sweat dripping from his forehead onto your flushed chest when his hips meet yours again.

You let out a pitiful moan, raking your nails down his back at the overwhelming sensation of fullness.

“Say. It.” He repeats the command, each word punctuated with a harsh thrust that has you seeing stars.

“I’m smart,” you rasp out, thighs quaking in their elevated position. Aaron has you nearly folded in half, knees practically pressed to your chest while he rails you like he can imbue confidence into you with his cock alone.

“And?” he prompts with another gasp-inducing drive of his hips.

“I’m good at what I do?” you offer quietly, somehow succeeding in looking sheepish while he splits you in half.

He pinches your nipple harshly and you cry out, now meeting his fiery gaze with one of your own. “Was that a question or a statement?”

“I’m good at what I do,” you amend, tugging on his hair as he fucks you without abandon.

“That’s it, baby,” he croons, bending down to swipe his lips across yours. You whimper into his mouth, the change in angle somehow helping him drive even deeper into your spent body. He nibbles on your bottom lip before pulling back with a satisfied grin. “You’re brilliant, aren’t you, my little doctor?” Tucking your chin between his thumb and index finger, he moves your head into a nod. “You’re only dumb when you’re drunk on my cock.”

A moan falls past your parted lips at that, and Aaron laughs low in his throat. “Poor thing,” he tuts, “I’m amazed you can string full sentences together right now.”

“Can’t,” you cry in response. “Need you. Need you to fill me up, Daddy, please.”

He takes your ankles in his hands and wraps your legs around his torso, stalling his movements with his hips flush to yours. “You want Daddy to be nice to you?”

Driving your heels into his lower back, you moan, “Oh god, yes.”

“Are you going to be nice to yourself, little one?” Desperate for release, you sniffle and nod diligently. Aaron sucks a bruising kiss into the sensitive skin at the junction of your neck and shoulder and growls out, “Promise?”

“Promise,” you answer immediately, breathless.

“Did so well for me, baby, so well,” he praises, his hand moving between your bodies to expertly take you over the edge, and you cling to him like your life depends on it as fireworks explode behind your closed eyelids. “My good little love. So smart, so beautiful, so perfect.”

[fruitbasketball]

I want to know your thoughts on the mock draft !!!

LEMME GET INTO ITTTTT

why this guy paige at #1 she’s so mid bro

nah 1 and 2 solid

but after that it gets kinda dicey

if y’all seen olivia miles play, you know she’s a DAWG like… we’re talking second team all america, preseason watchlists, like she can HOOP

but that injury bug… there’s people ahead of her in this draft in my mind, like 3 is crazy - i think olivia, azzi, and rori in that order at 5,6,7 ish

and imma explain about azzi before y’all get too tight like CHILLLLLL you know azzi’s my girl

i think that 3 spot should be aneesah’s… she’s so stupid underrated even after going to lsu, and i think w angel in the league she’s going to be a more prioritized scoring option for them. this girl is a PURE HOOPER; the fact that mulkey lowk had mikayla williams as the second/third option over her is nuts - esp when she literally averaged a double double on a team WITH ANGEL REESE

idk ab this french girl like who knows overseas is not my circus but te-hina paopao is EASILY a top 4-8 pick. this is NUTS. this girl LED THE COUNTRY in 3pfg we NEED some respect here like godDAMN

i put raven at 8, bc yes she’s a DAWG but putting her OVER te-hina paopao is luuuudicrous to me

saniya rivers is also way too low, and bro imma be SO FUCKING FR: georgia amoore is not a first round pick imo. maybe literally dead fucking last but anything other than that is… nah bro. that’s nuts. high second round sure. but first round OVER SANIYA RIVERS?? fuck outta here.

lemme speak on rori and azzi rq

coming out of high school: both of them, i would’ve said t5 easy, azzi goes first (paige out of the picture ofc)

but there’s that injury bug again and when you’re not paige bueckers, it fucks with your draft stock.

now rori only has one year of injury, and she’s recovering fast (or forcing a speedy recovery, which is just stupid, but we’ll see which one it is) but azzi on the other hand… she’s never even played a full season of college basketball

but i still take azzi over rori, even after the way rori shut down uconn’s defense this past season, because a healthy azzi fudd is just that good

if she stays healthy this season, and she’s playing as good as i KNOW she can, azzi’s a top 3 pick easy

as it stands RIGHT NOW THO - azzi sitting at a healthy 5-8 is fair

and if she waits another year, and she goes with flau’jae’s class - i can see her fighting flau or lauren or cotie for that number one spot and winning out

but i’m thinking from like a cost benefit analysis standpoint - if azzi plays a full season of college basketball, absolutely smokes bitches, brings home that natty… the 3 spot is hers. if i’m azzi - i declare right after the natty, or even before depending on how my season’s going. imma keep it a buck - i wouldn’t risk the extra season of college ball when i know i’m essentially guaranteed a roster spot in the w

[pick-me-up-im-scared]

If you decide to do a part two for I Love You, Ellie and the Reader ends up dying, will you do an alternate where the Reader lives? I would love to see the Reader defy the odds. Then maybe Ellie can helps the Reader during recovery and they can be able to live their lives together in Jackson or the farmhouse.

I Love You, Ellie (Alternative Part II) (Ellie Williams x Reader) (Angst/Fluff)

Author´s Note: I don´t wanna pay all of yours therapists. So I did the cheaper option and made an alternative part 2 for all you pussies who couldn't handle the reader dying.

⚠️Warning!⚠️: This story contain blood and pretty describing gore-y scenes. Also, there's mentions of child lost and miscarriage-ish.

Words: 5121

PART ONE!

Fuck. You opened your eyes carefully and was met by the blinding sunlight. You squeezed them shut, out of reflex, before making a second attempt. As your eyes adjusted to the bright light they made out the cracked roof. You moved you head to the right to see a tilted sight of the gas station you remember. As your cheek met the floor you felt something smear onto it. You lowered your eyes to the floor and was meet by blood. A lot of blood. Your eyes widened and out of pure reaction you jolted up. Bad idea. You screamed as the pain shot through your upper body. That’s when it all came back to you. You got shot. Two times. Dina tried to lap you up, but didn’t succeed. Guess she did succeed to some degree since you haven’t bleed to death. You carefully slide yourself along the floor, trying to find the nearest wall. The back of your jeans soaking up the blood, making the back of your legs stick to the fabric. An awful feeling. As you reach the wall you carefully propped yourself against it. Pathetic cries leaving your mouth. You took a deep breath before looking down at your bare upper body, your cut up shirt hanging heavy with blood along side your body. The bandage Dina had wrapped you up in was covering the majority of your stomach. Thought two pungent dark red dots had seeped through, making an awful contrast against the fairly white bandage. You knew you wouldn’t have a chance to make it back to Jackson if you didn’t stitch up the wounds. 

You slouched off the wall to stretch out your leg towards your backpack. Using your foot you looped it through one of the shoulder straps and dragged it towards you. You opened it up to take out your own medical kit, propping up the supplies you knew you’d need. Using the small medical scissor you carefully cut up each layer of the tightly wrapped fabric around your waist. Each layer revealing a lager amount of soaked up blood. The pressure soon released when you’re meet by your bare skin. The dried up blood crunching as you peeled the strips of fabric off your body. Your bloodstained skin made it harder to make out the wounds, but they sure was there. Two permanent dots. You grabbed the bottle of disinfection and poured it out on a rag. You took a deep breath before light swiping it over the skin. You bit down so hard you’re surprised your teeth didn’t chatter. Continuing to literally bite thought the pain you sunk your teeth into your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. The sting only getting more intense as the barrier of dried up blood soon was swiped off. Leaving your wounds completely open. When you felt like you were about to pass out you stopped, thinking it’s good enough. Ellie wouldn’t let you go on with your life unless someone more experience got to look over your wounds, anyways. You threw the red-stained fabric to the side before grabbing the needle and thread. You closed your eyes, trying to calm your nerves. As you opened them again you placed the sharp point of the needle at one corner of the first wound. Nothing could stop the scream from coming out of your mouth as it penetrates your skin. You didn’t give yourself the time to think before doing it again. You continued to stitch yourself up, trying to keep it down, but to no success. The feeling of the rough texture of the thread sliding through your skin. 

As both the wounds was stitched up to your best ability you grabbed a new roll of bandage and wrapped it around your attached area. Copying Dina’s work, just incase something started to bleed as you stood up. With shaky hands you tucked in the end before letting your hands fall beside your body. You rest your head against the cold wall, taking a deep breath. Looking at the sigh in front of you, trying to come up with a plan. You wouldn’t make it back to Jackson on foot. Not only due to the excessive amount of blood lose, but no matter how hard you think you couldn’t remember the path you took. Was it a left then right? Or was it two rights? You opened your eyes after another fail to remember the road back to your home. You’re only transport over here is probably covered in flies. But it made you wonder, how did Jesse and Dina come back? Were they even at Jackson? Or did those motherfuckers have more friends who ambushed them when they were too focused on saving you? You couldn’t see any bodies around you. Well, at least not any familiar ones. You let your eyes travel over the corpses of your enemies. Your, almost, murderers. If Dina´s medical skills weren’t so… skilled, they would have succeeded. Jokes on them you brought your little nurse with you! A nurse who apparently second guessed her skills, since she thought you didn’t make it. But you didn’t blame Dina nor Jesse. If you’d seen yourself from an outside perspective you would have taken yourself for a dead person, too.

You had nothing to lose. Either you check on the horses and have a tiny, whiny chance that one of them are still alive. Or you just stay here till you either stave to death, or get attacked by some passing infected. You let the rags that used to be your shirt slide of your arms, putting on the sweatshirt you’d packed.You slide yourself up the wall, biting down on your lip in an attempt to silence the sounds of pain. You took a deep breath before you took a steady grip with your left hand on the shelf beside you, and your right on the doorknob on the other side. You bit your lips as you pulled yourself up from the floor. A few muffled groans could still be heard. The room started to spin as you made it to your feet. You closed your eyes as you took a new grip on the shelf. Using it as your support. You tried to preparing yourself for the painful walk you’re about to take. As the dizziness disappeared you carefully took a few step towards your bag. They were shaky, but you’re still standing. You slowly hunched down to grab your backpack, wanting to use your stomach muscles as little as possible. You throw it over your shoulder, getting karma for your nonchalantly move as the heavy bag hit you in the back. You groaned as you grabbed your stomach. 

On wobbly legs you try to make your way to the other side of the room, to the door you came from. You held onto some shelfs as you passed them, taking the opportunity to steady yourself when you could. Some muffled huffs and groans could be heard as your thuds bumped into your wounds. You grasp the handle of the door before opening it. The bright sunlight burned your eyes before you averted your gaze to the concrete. Adjusting your eyes to the sudden brightness as you made your way around the corner, where you remember ”hiding” your horses. The sight you’re met with was enough to make you gag. If the smell of rotten meat wasn’t enough. You pinched your nose in between your fingers, in an attempt to close out the disgusting smell. But as your eyes went over the bloody figures on the ground you notice there’s only two. You came with three horse, one each. Did Jesse and Dina take the third horse? A noice snapped you out of your thoughts. Is that what I think it is? You carefully made your way to the back of the store, using the wall for support. The sound got louder, proving you’re walking in the right direction. As you peaked your head from around the corner they land on a horse. Not just any horse, Dina’s horse. His harness has tangled itself into the branches of a fallen tree. He's desperately trying to get free. You couldn’t help but smile as you made your way over to your last bit of hope. Like a gift sent from above. 

The sounds of your sneakers crunching down on the dried up leaves made the horse turn around, even more frantic to get away. ”No, no, no. It’s okay!” you tried to calm down the scared creature in front of you. ”It’s okay, it’s just me” you said before hesitantly petting his mane. It seemed to work for the horse stopped fighting. ”Hey, Japan!” you said in an overly sweet tone. The one you always use while talking to babies and animals. Paying close attention to any type of discomfort from his side before making your way over to the tangled up harness. After breaking of some of the twigs you soon found yourself holding the leader strap. The only thing stopping Japan from running off and leave you behind. ”I think you can help me. We need to get back to Jackson” you spoke as if he would answer you back. ”I´m just gonna-” you got cut off by a loud groan as you raised your leg up to get on the saddle. Japan turned to you, as if to ask you if you’re okay. ”I´m fine, I´m fine” you quickly said as you pressed. your hand against the wounds. Japan looked at you for a little longer before sitting down. You chuckled at the sweet gesture before almost effortlessly getting onto his back. ”Thank you, buddy” you patted him before he carefully got up. The bumpiness of the ride home wound remind you of your injury. In case you forgot. You’re thankful Japan knew the road back, cause you think you blacked out a few times along the ride. You close your eyes and suddenly you’re at a completely different location. Maybe the shots of pain along with the dizziness made your body shot off sometimes. You’re just glad you’re still sitting on this horse. You close your eyes again and when you open them you see the familiar gate. Still you couldn’t even find it in yourself to smile. You’re exhausted. The only thing keeping you from passing out is the excitement to see Ellie. Oh, how you’ve missed her. As you got closer to the doors opened. The warm, bright light, lighting up the village sure was a contrast to the dusky woods. You shield your eyes, letting them adjust to the bright lights.

You carefully slide of the horse, not being able to avoid the thud as your feet hit the ground. You moan as your hand, by reflex, grasped at your stomach. ”Come on, Japan. Let’s get you to your friends”, you let it rest there as you made your way to the stables. The looks on the people’s faces as they past you weren’t unexpected. You’re pretty sure you look like death itself. If anything you’re surprised no one’s mistakes you for a clicker. A few people did ask you if you were okay. You politely told them off, lying by saying ”I’m fine”. The only person you want to take care of you is the girl that's been on your mind the whole horse ride over here. You took some stumbling steps inside the familiar barn. Japan's hooves making a clicking sound against the worn-out wood. Knowing Ellie, she could be anywhere. And you're not sure you can walk for much longer. Jesse´s always at the stable, and he might know where she could be. You didn’t have to look too far till you saw the familiar figure. He´s talking to some man as you pat him on the shoulder. ”One second” he said before going back to finish his conversation with the man. But the expression on that man’s face as he glance at you, made Jesse turn his head. His eyes widened. ”y-y/n?” Jesse asked, not believing his eyes. You’re surprised they haven’t popped out yet. ”Yeah, where´s Ellie?” you casually said. Like you haven’t just come back from the dead. Jesse just stood in silence, shocked by the girl in front of him. ”Oh my god!” he happily cheered as he brought you into a hug. You hissed as you pushed him off, pointing to your stomach. ”Oh, right! I'm sorry” he apologized, still not being able to wipe away the grin on his face. ”Jesse? Where is she?” you asked again. ”She’s probably at your hut. She hasn’t left it since we came back” he informed, making your heart shattered. You thank him before making your way over to your shared house. Thank god, its not far. Your shoes thuds against the wood as you walk up the stairs of the porch. Grabbing the metal knob was harder then it should be. You opened the door, suddenly getting a big wave of emotions hitting you. You haven’t been here since you left. Leaving Ellie in an emotional mess. You winced at your stupidness. If you would have listed to her. If you would have taken a job at the local bakery instead, then this would never have happened. You winched as you slide of the backpack of your shoulder and place it beside Ellie’s. Like you always do. You used the wall for support as you made your way up the stairs. Every step reminding you of the wounds. If you, for some reason, would forget about that little detail. You tried to keep in your winces though. You let out a deep breath as you stood in front of the closed door to your shared bedroom.

You creek open the door, seeing a person sitting on the bed. Back facing you. Not just any person, it’s Ellie. You made your way to her, noticing she’s wearing one of your shirt. The one you changed out of before leaving, to be more exact. You could see her shaking shoulders, making it hard to not just run up and hug her figure. And never let go. But you weren’t sure how she would take it. Like, Jesse looked like he was about to faint when he saw you. And he’s ”just” your friend. The crying girl in front of you have been living with you ever since you started dating. Not a day has gone by without you seeing each other (apart from patrols, of course). The floor squeaked under one of your steps, blowing your cover. ”Dina, I’ve told you. I wanna be alone” Ellie said, not without her voice cracking. Your eyes traced over the broken silhouette of the person in front of you. I should never had left. You searched in your right pocket, pulling out the paper-thin card and reaching it over her right shoulder. She cranked her head to observe the object before sighing ”I don´t want your pity-gifts”. You let out a breath ”Too fucking bad”. Ellie straighten her back. She was quick to look back, to see if it’s her mind was playing tricks with her again. But, oh no. It was you, standing only a few feet away from her. Covered in blood. She eyed you, not willing to get her feeling up if it wouldn’t be true. Ever since the day Dina and Jesse came back she wouldn’t trust her mind.

She had been waiting by the gate the whole day, not willing to let you wander around Jackson one second before giving you the biggest kiss. Just the thought of having you in her arms again made Ellie’s heart flutter. She thought she was going to be sick when she saw the doors to the gate starting to open. The emotions bubbling in her made her feel like a kid again. She can’t wait to see your pretty face again. But as they doors were wide opened only Dina and Jesse came…walking? Odd. Where’s their horses? Ellie looked around, she even squinted her eyes to see all the way back in the woods to see if you were just far behind. The blood on Dina’s clothes wasn’t concerning her. She knew how messy it could be on patrols. You would always help her wash off whenever she’d come back from a patrol. Even though Ellie has told you a million times she can do it herself. Dina didn´t seem to be hurt, even though her and Jesse´s faces wore a sorrowed face. Almost as if someone had… died. Ellie walked up to them, hugging them and telling them ”welcome back!”. But despite her attempt at being polite, none of them showed any signs of happiness. 

Ellie made sure to look around one last time before finally asking ”Where’s (y/n)?”. Ellie still wore that cheerful expression. Dina wised she didn’t. Maybe it would have been easier to tell her the news if she was miserable from the start? Or maybe just a little grumpy from her lack of sleep? Something other then that stupid smile on her face! Then there wouldn’t be such a jump of emotions when she finally answered her question. ”Ellie…” Dina said with a weak voice, just now realizing neither her or Jesse had spoken a one single word after leaving the gas station. She was speaking for the first time to deliver such horrible news. Dina tried to lead Ellie to a more private place, figuring she wouldn’t want everyone else to see her reaction. But Ellie smacked her hand away, stopping in her tracks. ”Dina, where is (y/n)?” Ellie asked again as a more worried expression took over her face. Dina looked to the side, as if to build courage. She looked at Ellie again with a pitiful look before reaching back into her backpack. She reveals a gun and hands it to Ellie. She observes it and notice the dried blood on it. But it wasn’t until her fingertip graced over the engraved name she had matched with her own that it clicked. It’s your gun. Ellie looked up at Dina again, her mind not willing to grasp the fact she’s just been shown. Ellie slowly start to shake her head. This can’t be true. Dina looks down in shame, as if this was her own fault. Ellie frowned as she looked over at Jesse, as if to get some type of answer from him. He copied his girlfriend´s gesture. Ellie huff, ”No, no, no” she starts to mumble as her eyes wanders over the object in her hands. She looks up at her friends again. ”You’re lying!” she yells, not being able to control her emotions. If this is one of their stupid jokes it’s not funny! Both continued to look at the ground. ”Please, tell me you’re lying” Ellie weakly begged. Dina shut her eyes hard, letting the tears spill over. She couldn’t bare the sound of her best friend feeling like this. ”I´m sorry, Ellie” she mumbled, knowing it won’t do much. Ellie can’t even think before she turns around and walks off. 

She felt dizzy as she tried to make her way back to yo- her house. She’s surprise no tears had started to roll down her cheeks yet. It’s almost like her body thinks it’s just a prank. Soon someone will come and say ”it’s just a joke!”, and you’d sneak out of a bush or something. But with every possible hiding place revealed the reality sank in. The tightness in her chest sure was present. She used her right hand to rub her clothed chest in slow circles, trying to soothe herself. It’s the same feeling she felt whenever she was reminded of Joel’s death. Only this time the only person who could help her was the reason she’s feeling like this. Ellie closed the door after her, completely emotionless as she make her way up the stairs. The same stairs she had happily skipped down just a few hours ago. She kicked of her shoes before crawling into your shared bed. Thinking she´d be cuddling you right now she had made the bed for once in her life. Now she couldn’t care less for the nicely folded corners of the cover. She just want to crawl under them and never come out. Looking to her right she sees your pillow, still having a bump in it from your head. That’s when she felt a tear escaping her eye, gliding over the bridge of her nose before dropping into her pillow. She grabbed your pillow and pressed it agains her chest. Ellie hugs your pillow tight, breathing in your sent as her tears soak the fabric. She tried to control her breathing as her slender fingers grabbed the plushy material harder. Ellie would see the sun rise and fall as the days went by. Thinking back on all the memories you’ve had shared together. Even the bad ones. One in particular was that time she’d found out you’d borrowed on of her favorite shirt without asking. Not just any shirt, the only shirt of Joel’s she has! You said you’re sorry a thousand times, but being the stubborn bitch she is she decided not to accept it. That time you didn’t speak to each other for a two weeks. Just eating and sleeping in pure silence. Ellie feels so stupid, looking back at it now. It’s was nothing! She should have just hugged you, tell you how much she loves you. But instead she decided to be mad at you for a stupid fucking shirt!

Ellie grabbed the card before jumping out of bed and threw herself at you. You carefully wrapped your arms around her frame. Breathing in the scent you’ve missed so dearly, and you couldn’t help but feel your eyes starting to tear up. You’ve missed her so much. Ellie didn’t even try to hold back her emotions, letting fresh tears roll down her cheeks and onto your clothed shoulder. You tried to hold back the urge to groan in pain, not wanting to ruin the moment. But as Ellie tightened her grip around you, you couldn’t help but let out a whine. She pulled back and let her gaze wander over your body, looking for an injury. You removed your left hand from around her shoulder to move up your sweatshirt. Ellie´s eyes widened, but she didn’t get a chance to react before the lost of blood got reminded. You felt as your body gave up as you hit the floor.

-

Looking back at that event made you feel a lot of emotions. Sad obviously, your last words after you got shot is tattooed to your brain. Also the pain you caused your friends was unforgivable. Non the less, the pain you caused Ellie. There were countless of times she’d come running to you, doesn’t matter where you were, just to make sure you were actually there. Some would find it cute, but for you it was heartbreaking. Knowing what she went through with the lost of Joel, and knowing she was this close to go through it again. Ellie claims it would hurt just as bad, even though you’re having a hard time believing a girlfriend of four years would take up as much space in your heart as a father figure. But maybe you’ve underestimated the valued you’ve had in Ellie’s life? Maybe you haven’t grasped just how important you are to her? Still the guilt you feel for making her go through that grief makes you almost wish you were dead. Almost.

You never told Ellie about the pregnancy. When you got check up by an actual doctor there was no doubt the child didn’t make it. You figure she’s had enough trauma as it is. Telling her she could have been a mom is something you wouldn’t make yourself to do. Sometimes it’s better to keep stuff away from people. Especially if you know it will only do more damage. The day you ”took care of it” was like any other day for Ellie. The only thing out of the ordinary was your mood. You said you just had a bad day and just wanted to sleep. When, in reality, you didn’t want to look at her more then you had to. You didn’t want to look at her beautiful, pale green eyes as you lied straight to her face. You hated lying to Ellie! She’s the only person you would tell all of your deepest darkest secrets to. Without a doubt. But even some stuff is meant to be kept to yourself. Stuff you’ll take to the grave. It’s crazy how stuff that happens five years ago is still so clear in memory. You’d think some parts would get forgotten. But no, you remember every second of the moment you thought your were going to die.

”Mommy! Mommy!” comes your four year old son, Charlie, running, taking you out of your thoughts. You turned to look at him with a smile as his little feet stumbled onto the porch. ”Look what I made!” he excitedly announced as he crawled into your lap, making the rocking chair you're sitting in squeal. He handed you the wooden object. As you observed it your eyes widened. A knife. Sure, it’s made out of wood, but the end was still sharp enough to penetrate skin. ”And who helped you making this?” you asked, already knowing the answer. ”Mommy!” he happily said. ”That’s what I thought” you mumbled as you glance over the object again. And, as if on command, the girl showed up from around the corner of the house. She smiled as she made her way to you two. The playtime with her son sure took a toll on her back. That boy always seems to find the most advance paths to things! Ellie leaned against the fence of the porch as she watched you interact with your child. The warm light from the sun setting sure made you look like something about of the movies. The way you payed so close attention to he’s nonsense stories. Ellie swore she’d hear that exact same story at least three times already. And that’s just today. The way you rub his small back as he throws his hands around to intensify his story. Heck, the way you’ve so effortlessly fallen into the mother role. And Ellie didn´t think she could fall more in love with you. ”Oh!” Charlie jumped up ”I need to feed Ned! He hasn’t even had breakfast yet!”. You laughed ”You go do that” as you helped him down from your lap. Ellie watched him as he ran energetically past her and in through the wide opened door. 

As soon as you were sure Charlie was off to his own thing, you spoke up. ”Very convenient, Ellie” she turned her head to the mentioning of her name. You raised up from the chair, taking a little longer then normal. She gave you a confused face that soon dropped when you showed her the object. You didn´t even give her a chance to answer ”He could hurt himself! Who gives a little boy a sharp knife out of wood?”. ”Oh, don´t worry about it! I´m just teaching him how to kill infected” she defended herself, having a way more chill tone then she should. ”He´s four” you said. Ellie shrugged her shoulders ”Better start early”. You couldn’t help but chuckle as you made your way over to her. ”You´re so stupid” you mumbled before giving her a kiss. She smiled into it as she grabbed your waist and pulled you closer towards her. Feeling your stomach bump into her toned one she pulled back to rub her hand over it ”How are you doing?”. ”Fine. Felt a little dizzy earlier, but it got better when I sat out here” you explained, studying Ellie’s soft expression as she looked at your big belly. She nodded, ”I’m happy you´re feeling better then your last pregnancy. I felt so bad for making you go through that”. Her expression sorrowed when she thought back on the countless nights she’d woken up to find you hunched over the toilet. You put your hands on her cheeks, tracing your thumb over the apple of them. ”Don’t be, baby. Both you and I know it will be worth it” you tried to comfort her as you shot a quick glazing thought the window. Ellie followed your eyes to see Charlie, playing around with his toys on the living room floor. She smiled and nodded ”I know”. She kneeled down, so her face was in level with your belly. ”Don’t worry, baby. I'll crave a knife for you, too” she told the baby in you. ”Oh, no you´re not” you said with a chuckle as you playfully smack her arm, nearly making her fall over. She effortlessly came back up. She looked at your face as she placed her right hand on the side of your face. You grabbed her tattooed forearm lightly before turning your face to kiss the palm of her hand. A smile grew on her face.

You let your eyes trace down Ellie’s body. The high temperature along with the playtime with her son sure made her sweaty. Not that you mind. The sunburn made the freckles splattered across her body more pronounced. ”Pretty inappropriate to wear that when there’s kids around” you announced as you lazily pointed to her slim fitted tank top, leaving little to the imagination. Ellie gave you a teasing smile before placing her hand on your hips. ”Maybe it’s mommy who can’t handle it?” she rather stated then asked. Ever since you told her how much you liked her in a tank top she’s worn them more often. Odd. ”How can I when you walk around looking like a slut all day” you whispered the last part, not wanting Charlie to hear. Ellie´s smile grew even bigger, just about to kiss your lips before you pushed her away slightly. She looked at you confused. ”I better start with the dinner” you said as you walked past her. Her turned her head as her eyes followed you, mumbling ”You’re such a tease”. You smiled for yourself, enjoying this a little too much. But as you were about to enter the house she stopped you. ”(y/n)!” she yelled, making you turn your focus to her. She walked up to you, looking deep inside your eyes ”I wouldn’t want to live this life with anyone else but you”. You gave her a big smile as you felt your cheeks get flustered. ”Me neither” you said before giving her a loving kiss. 

taglist: @ucannotcompare

[poetry-protest-pornography]

I want to say that I'm meh about this week's For Him, and I'm definitely feeling like there's been a lot of telling and not enough showing, but also Nail and Him are in love and so cute with each other, and it's hard to be mad?

I'm definitely disappointed about what's going on with Jao and Phai (I know they're spelling it Chao now, but we also have Chaochom so I'm keeping the J), Phai hasn't earned Jao yet and I really hope that gets acknowledged or it'll be a waste. I also wish we got to see a little more of the shooting aftermath -- Him's recovery, Type's arrest, Te's am I the bad guy crisis -- but even a little more talking about it would be good?

I am looking forward to Dream and Chaochom's little wrap up next week, it makes sense for them to be in a "we can walk together on purpose" place, and they've built them up to there pretty naturally; I love their dynamic and wish there was more of them, but I'm okay with what we've got. I am mostly confused about Te and Peach (Piece?), and I'm a little afraid they're using the sunshine love interest to redeem Te, but at least he's also apologizing and acknowledging he's been a fuck up, so *shrug emoji*.

Overall, this is the most negative I've felt about the show, but I'm still so in love with Nail and Him that I can't really be more than mildly annoyed?*

Idk y'all, they subverted the episode 11 curse and also gave me a previously undiscovered kink when Nail left that trail of perfume for Him to follow, so maybe I'm just too soft for these two/the show in general.

*They should still let me write a BL; you can all bet that Phai would be suffering sufficiently if I was in charge, and Te would have to at least grovel a little. Also, Nail's adoption of Jao would've included a friendship and revenge montage

[vodkaneki]

Alright, so through the years I've learnt things and from one thing to another, all those things I learnt added up to one big whole thing that's been living rent free in my head for long enough, so it's time for me to tell you the story and buckle up, because it is a wild ride.

So why are barbershops poles white, red and blue? It's to symbolize the bandages, the blood and the veins. Before there were actual doctors, barbers didn't only shave beards, but also did some bloodletting and medical procedures.

Now, who was Monsieur Félix? Monsieur Charles-François Félix was a barber-surgeon from France born in the 17th century who was tasked with the delicate job of taking care of King Louis XIV of France's anal fistula.

On January 15th of 1685, the King's Physician discovered a swelling in His Majesty's royal derrière.

By February 18th an abscess had formed and by May 2 a fistula appeared.

Before I go further, what in the ungodly hell is a fistula? You may ask?!

A fistula is an abnormal connection between two body parts, such as an organ or blood vessel and another structure. Fistulas are usually the result of an injury or surgery. Infection or inflammation can also cause a fistula to form.

Fistulas may occur in many parts of the body such as the general butt area.

They first tried enemas and poultices to help, but to no avail. Since physicians at the time did not cut into their patient, the task was given to Monsieur Felix who was very much intimidated by that monumental, but yet delicate operation.

He then asked for six months (during which the poor King had to endure the pain) to prepare for the operation. He practiced on 75 mens from prison and countryside (Oh the ethics of that!!) to prepare his two new inventions:

The Royally Curved scalpel

And the retractor

The operation that was performed on November 18th, 1686 was a success and within 3 months the King was back to do his kingly activities.

Monsieur Felix did not follow suit on these operations, but was rewarded with money, lands and the title of Charles-François Félix de Tassy.

The courage of both Monsieur Felix and the King gave a newfound respectability to surgeons. On December 18, 1731, the king’s grandson, Louis XV opened the Royal Academy of Surgery, now known as the National Academy of Surgery. There you will find this portrait of Charles-François Felix with the caption: Louis XIV's first surgeon.

The royal fistula that changed the face of surgery

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

To celebrate the successful surgery, it is said that a famous hymn was written and performed for him: God Save The King. The actual British anthem is said to have taken it's roots in this famous piece that was originally written for King Louis XIVs marvelous recovery.

Also for the celebration, French composer, dancer and instrumentalist of Italian birth Jean-Baptiste Lully (Giovanni Battista Lulli) conducted a performance of Te Deum.

Back then, conductors would, well, conduct the orchestra with a long staff that would be struck on the wooden floor and, poor bugger, HE FUCKING STRUCK HIS FUCKING FOOT WHILE PERFORMING!

His foot was legitimately hurt and it eventually came to be gangrenous. He refused to be operated on or amputated, thus died from the infection.

So that's how through the years I learnt that and it's finally time you learnt that too!

[the-ghost-of-a-spirit]

watching mha S4 and my thoughts while watching ep1-14

@maidofdarkness23

their interveiwing 1A? this'll be funny.

nezu, it makes total sense to allow someone you dont know, who could be a villan onto school grounds, sure buddy (i will bully nezu about everything now) also i dont trust the interviwer, his name is tanayo i think

bakugo is so real for getting mad when a guy is photographing him eating breakfast love how tokoyami uses dark shadow to get food instead of waiting in line himself

why are their chess tiles flat, thats not chess bro

time to find out who overhaul is

okay, so a guy just exploded

shigaraki: "now i get it" well i dont, please explain okay so, i still have no clue whats going but i think its like: twice brings overhaul to base. they talk, shigaraki gets mad. they fight. some guy blows up, overhauls friends come, someone else died at some point and the guys arm gets cut off, overhaul and co. tell leage of villans to think about it, and leave

present mic calling almight emo is SO FUNNY wonder what happened with him and nighteye

miriyo!

nighteye, what in the actual fuck. he literally trapped a girl to a laughing machine, he's insane, like why, what is wrong with him.

WHAT IS THAT, DEKU WHAT

"oh no, hes not funny"

alright nighteye has an even worse almight obsession then deku

okay, so deku isn't failing

betting something happens with nighteye and almight in this season

Tokoyami is going to work study with a guy called hawks. I think hawks is goanna be cool

Deku and mirio found a kid. She was in the intro I think so she's important

so her name is ari. She's cute.

Is it coincidence that ari and shigarako have te same hair?

Crack ship: grand torino/recovery girl

I love Tomiki. He's my favourite.

random but, i'm gonna say that ectoplasm (the guy who makes clones) is the traitor. cause the leuge of villans has a clone guy (mimic) and ectoplasm is a clone guy. so same guy.

red riot is a pretty sick name ngl

kirashima tragic backstory unlocked? (had to check his name with google)

tomiki is allergic to postitvity its so funny i love him

okay, i need explanation, why is everyone here okay got it, this is boring, waiting for the actual rescue misson

nighteye: I cant! (regarding him not using his quirk right then) Aizawa: most jujdmental sideye ever (why does he have the funniest expressions)

loving aizwa right now, with him saying that to deku, like hes so.. also that little chest punch, then also the "i'll be your man" "no"

also ari is so cute and i love her (i barely know her)

ida is so silly, like why

dragonladydragonladydragonlady

TAMAKI-CENTRIC EPISODE, LETS GO, right after i decided he's my favourite too lol (4 ep8) also just realised his name is tamaki not tomiki

i love miriyo, hes so nice and just generally a good person

tiny plauge doctor becomong big :( he was kinda cute when he was little

tamaki's hero name is sun-eater?

we gonna talk about how miriyo is "sun" and tamaki is "sun eater" i need the backstory of tamaki's hero name okay, not what i expected, i still think theres more we can read into with sun/sun eater (yes im shipping it, sue me)

what if tamaki just starts eating random stuff, imagine if he eats paper and becomes his own notepad

tamaki is not okay (he got hurt and collapsed after a fight)

how come fat's skinny now. like why. i despise skinny fatgum

"a few pounds" you are literally less than half the size you were before

i love how evryones usually obsessing over almight, but we also have kirashima with crimson riot, and i think thats neat

okay, so i think ari's quirk is destroying someones quirk forever? give my kid a break, shes like, 5

also, on one hand, i think overhaul is a really cool and interesting power. on the other, child experimentation is not ok

alright, i'm betting someone gets shot, dunno who yet, but someone will get shot by those permanent quirk destroying bullets

how many personas does twice have?

someone has a truth quirk, also taking back the ectoplasm=twice thing cause they know who twice really is, and who ectoplasm is too, probably

the upside down drunk guy is so funny to me "what are you, drunk" "no, that would be you" (what if this became a ship)

ari is missing a horn, she has one, but its not centered, therefore she's meant to have 2, cause these things are supposed to be symetrical

i would die for ari, and also kill overhaul for her (MD i see why you hate him now)

going to say this now, capes are dumb, especially for million, cause his clothes are made of his hair, so you'd expect for there to not be much fabric, but he has a cape.

nimoto/chisaki new ship

(minimum requirements for ship is that they breathed the same air for at least a scene, and possible are loyal to eachother, but we dont need that)

MIRIYO GOT SHOT, HE GOT SHOT BY THE PERMANENT BULLET

what if miryo become the first quirkless hero?

miriyo, stop getting hurt

deku came and saved the day (and so did evryone else, probably)

i like locklock

chisaki killed nimoto, like dude, he was, like, the one guy who genuinely liked and supported you.

what if shigaraki and ari are related, i'm pretty sure they are.

NIGHTEYE'S DEAD???

ARI NO

ari is also favourite, i love her and would die for her

everytime someone screams "chisaki" i feel like their gonna say "Chisaki smash" and idk why

ari's quirk is to rewind

this scene (deku and ari right after quirk reveal) is going to break me

what if almight and nighteye became "messed up stomach due to villan" buddies

i like dabi, i think he's neat

shigaraki, u good bro? probably not but still

okay, nighteyes dead

i hope we get to see more of ari later on

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

Look below the cut for 18 incredible Works In Progress!

birds of prey by mllekurtz (TheKnittingJedi) (91852, Explicit) Warnings: CNTW, mind the tags on later installments Evil Shadowgast AU in which Essek finds himself dangerously entangled with scourger Bren Reccer says: Incredible tension, razor-sharp characterization, and absolutely scorching hot 🔥

heat by Anonymous (20307, Explicit) Warnings: no archive warnings apply AU where elves under go a heat cycle as part of their normal biology every century or so. Essek has been medically delaying his heat by about 20 years. He asks Caleb to help him through it. Reccer says: This fic is SO horny and tender and sweet. It was last updated before ep 97, so there's no betrayal arc. It's just two hot boys fucking each other over the course of days. It's a heat fic but it's specifically not an a/b/o fic.

The Monkey's Paw by jakia (4654, Teen) Warnings: No archive warnings apply AU fic written during 2020 hiatus. Once Caleb has finished saving the world, Essek finds a way to give Caleb what he's always wanted: a simple life, with his living parents. But the problem with getting what you've always wanted is that sometimes you learn the hard way that what you thought you wanted and what you really want are two separate things. [Shadowgast, where post-campaign, Essek sends Caleb to a different timeline where he's a farmer, not a wizard] Reccer says: Love the worldbuilding, both the alternate version of what post-canon canon would look like, and the actual alternate universe that Caleb is sent to.

the fourth corner of the world by royalgreen (allyoop) (50775, Mature) Warnings: No archive warnings apply An alternate take on TravelerCon where Essek has joined them on Rumblecusp Reccer says: It was started during the hiatus, so there's some really great alternate worldbuilding for an AU version of Rumblecusp and TravelerCon. Essek and Caleb's relationship is also a delicious slow burn.

This sudden burst of sunlight, and me with my umbrella by Criticalpancake (63817, Teen) Warnings: None The one where the Nein are Orchid Smugglers (and Essek is still a traitor) Reccer says: I love incredibly specific AUs, and this definitely counts. Plus, I love the way that the author translated the Nein's backstories and personalities into this very different setting

Dappled Shadow and Penumbral Light by Professor_Rye (463977, Mature) Warnings: Graphic Violence/Torture, Trent Ikithon being his awful self The slowest of slow-burn post-canon Shadowgast epos. Reccer says: If we're talking about ongoing fics, this one just has to be on the list. A behemoth of a story that is far from over (and updated regularly) I promise you it is worth to invest the time to read it. The characterization is excellent, and it ties up a lot of threads that have been left hanging when C2 ended. There is intense angst and pain in this fic, but also two idiot wizards in love and lots of soft and fluffy moments between them. It also features a very honest portrayal of disabilities and dealing with chronic pain. Truly the whole package. <3

the great war of the nein sided tower cats by egg (strwpup) (43737, Teen) Warnings: None Honestly, the title is all you need to know. It's Caleb's tower, it's cats, it's plotting and bickering and well... It's war. Reccer says: I love the concept and the surreal undertones. The characterisations are great and the cats... Don't get me even started about the cats. They are AMAZING and you will not see the tower with the same eyes after you read this.

A Tapestry of Stars by Cinderstorm (95903, Explicit) Warnings: None Caleb and Essek end up in an arranged marriage, with each side having their own goals and secrets Reccer says: Politics! Intrigue! Space! Arranged Marriage! What's not to love? This has gone a long time without updating, but what's there is enjoyable on its own.

Pieces Left Behind by Meadow (Medorikoi) (66911, Explicit) Warnings: Rape recovery This is techincally a sequel but can be read by its own. Essek and Caleb trying to recover after Ikithon. Reccer says: This is a pretty dark fic but also moments I love in it. Essek and Caleb's relationship- their co-dependecy is so good to read. The care they have each other. Despite the heaviness of the fic the slowbırn is delicious. I would sell my soul to read more of this- or just wipe my memory to reread.

The Legend of Widogast Manor by royalgreen (allyoop) (6620, Teen) Warnings: No archive warnings apply Essek investigates an abandoned manor, looking for magic. What he finds is the mysterious Caleb Widogast, a man with secrets who may not be a man at all. Reccer says: VAMPIRE FIC. Love all the vampire fic for this pairing, love the AU meeting, love the building mystery and the excellent spooky atmosphere the author evokes.

Ashkeeper, or Urn by darundik (60385, Explicit) Warnings: under-negotiated kink Caleb and Essek are exiled and stripped of their magic. They find their way forward. Reccer says: There's some amazing worldbuilding and description, and the initial sadness just makes the hope even more delicious

Coping Skills by sumomomochi (105862, Explicit) Warnings: None Caleb is an exchange researcher at the Tomes, Essek is responsible for monitoring him for the Dynasty. Essek doesn't date and only has platonic kink since he thinks his disability is too much work for anyone to bother with him. Cue Caleb venturing into the local kink scene and setting his eye on Essek, making him want to brave the minefield that is relationship, with an empire human no lessand all that entails. Reccer says: I love the well thought out relationship, the softness and the SSC kink portrayed, which proves disabilities and health conditions don't have to prevend one from doing things they want to do, provided a willing, caring partner.

Starling by Kaiannae (147960, Mature) Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence; some parts are very dark but it is thoroughly tagged! Bren breaks out of Vergesson and steals a fairy while doing it. It's a beautiful AU about Bren's time right after Vergesson, with a focus on survival and Bren's relationship with the mysterious fairy. Reccer says: It's a beautiful exploration of the time Bren might have spent after escaping, the descriptions of nature are magnificent and Fairy!Essek is a treat.

the golden thread around your neck whispered visions of my undoing by MarsBar2019 (80879, Explicit) Warnings: The inherent dubcon of sleeping with your employee, Caleb typical angsty backstory and mental health issues Essek is the CEO of an arcane tech company and Caleb is his new assistant. Reccer says: The spicy, mildly problematic office romance you didn't think you needed. But listen, I PROMISE you do need it!! It has incredible world-building, really memorable side characters, and the slow burn is just chef's kiss perfection. Mark my words, this is a modern classic of the Shadowgast fanfic canon!

You Be You, And I’ll Be Busy by theprophetlemonade (21321, Teen) Warnings: It has the Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, so it might have darker topics A series of one-shots about Essek and Caleb spending nights in Aoer and mornings in the Blooming Groove. Reccer says: It's wonderful and very poetic storytelling with very deep look into Essek's thoughts and actions.

oh, sinnerman by SaltCore (9614, Mature) Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Suicidal Thoughts Caleb doesn't love Essek anymore, but things don't really add up Reccer says: Salt is a master of emotional angst and this fic is no exception

Soak me in your sin by witches_chant (3382, Explicit) Warnings: Consensual Non Concent Caleb and Essek roleplay some CNC with a cultural twist Reccer says: Some of the best CNC I've ever read. The care and attention between Caleb and Essek is constantly shown, despite the roleplaying they're doing.

And two fics for

Love Letters to Toss Into the Fire by Anonymous (42868, Teen) Warnings: None Caleb and Essek begin a secret correspondence in which they feel free to say the things they struggle to say aloud. Reccer #1 says: Fantastic slow burn and beautifully woven into canon. The letters go to such emotionally intimate places, and it's always a joy to see what enchanting (and enchanted) form they will take in each chapter. Reccer #2 says: The letters and the thoughts behind them are reason alone to read this fic. Besides that it is a beautiful exploration of their relationship.

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week's theme is Fics Featuring Astrid and/or Eadwulf (not Shadowblumendrei though, that’s a separate theme)

[dramallamas]

The (unserious) notes of Beyond Evil. Episode Three Edition

Previous Episode || Next Episode

Cant wait to psychoanalyse this episode later with the scriptbook!

Jinmuk je te deteste dont even dare feel sad you monster

that shot of Juwon lazing on his sofa im down bad

He has nice handwriting tho

Honestly when is this man not thinking about Dongsik

The fly jumpscared me bc of my headphones

Dongsik you bastard (affectionately)

He is not ok rn

Juwon eavesdropping was me and my flatmate last night trying to find out the drama

The camerawork in this show is beautiful omg

Dongsik has no right to look this fine rn tho

Oop spotted!

Jihwa knew both of them were at the station lol

And bada bing bada boom we are in the recording room

And theyre off and Jihwa is so done

Juwon is so like WTF with this whole thing.

If looks could kill Dongsik would be dead 💀

why at 5am?! WHY WERE YOU UP AT 5AM?!

Bro Juwon doesnt hold back

Dongsik <3

Juwon could murder im sure of it. He has it ij him.

I like watching the gay men fight… because its fun :)

THE ONLY TIME I WILL AGREE WITH HAN KIHWAN IS RN “What a nut job. I like him [Dongsik].”

Juwon pissing off Kihwan is just so great at all times.

Theyre gonna find the wrong body and blow this case even bigger

Dongsik again <3 the onlt dilf of my life tbh

My heart breaks for him though. He masks a lot if pain

“What if I ran into older Yuyeon on the street, but failed to recognise her. That worries me a lot…” 💔

Fellas is it gay to stare at another mans smiling photo for a long time whilst in your room?

Juwon you have always been a crafty bitch and I respect that

YJG is a brilliant actor he is a master at subtle emotions which makes him one of the most expressive characters in the show

YAY you found a phone

Bad news for Juwon its Geumhwas phone that has his number.

Mate ur laughing like a maniac like dongsik does. You two arent as different as you think.

But my god you like to jump to the wrong conclusions

Watching the scene with nam sangbae and dongsik makes me cry but i cant because im in the living room with my flatmates. And the score in the background just 😭

Me 🤝 Dongsik : Laughing to hide pain

Man will stay in work just for Juwon

They back and forth in every scene like its all they do.

Mf going on about the culprit always returning to the scene and here comes JINMUK AHDKFMSP FORESHADOWING WE MISSED

Part of me think that Dongsik is suspicious of Jinmuk atp.

If you told them that they would be so close by the end of the series they would be fucking disgusted.

Oop juwon getting interrogated.

Juwon pausing before adding 요 at the end of his sentence like bro you are forgetting your respect conjugation

oh shit juwon not looking good for you is it.

"Given his nature, there is no way he [Juwon] would get involved in a crime" HYEOK YOU DONT EVEN KNOW-

Hyeok became his tutor in 2010... when JW was 17. does that mean that he helped JW in Korea rather than britain? or the tail end of britain onwards.

Hyeok you are such a kiss-ass

Do Haewon 🤢 she is so fake i hate it (which is the poing ig lmao)

LEE CHANGJIN. hes so funny for a bad guy

Jeongje is so frustrated with his mum (same)

Juwon is this close to slapping Hyeok at times.

aliens? rude much kihwan (what did we expect)

and there goes juwon loosing his cool.

annoyingly kihwan makes some points even if its for self centered gain. still hate kihwan dw

bro standing outside as ppl talk about him like 🧍

And then the eye contact between him and dongsik god having a whole silent conversation

Nice recovery juwon.

Them being nice to each other? NOT THIS EARLY BOIS

And boom personal space who? They dont know it.

Dongsik telling Juwon to go to therapy lmaooo

Juwon grabbing Dongsik probably became a… different thing later on yk? Hehe

This episode is basically Juwon and his terrible no good very bad couple days.

Bro you need to hike/walk more Juwon how are you already sweating.

You make think you have him, but nope he has you.

JUWON BREAKS INTO DS BASEMENT PART ONE HERE WE GO

The tiny bloodstain ofc. He def left it deliberately somewhat

And i am so hyped for episode four because of the incoming moments.

Juwon this isnt the victory you think it is trust me

see you all next episode! bye ^^

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2023: #17-#16

17. UNITED KINGDOM Mae Muller - "I wrote a song" 25th place

Decade ranking: 46/116 [Above RAFAL, below We Are Domi]

Pahr Mae. All the abuse she had to sit through pre-show for not being Rina Sawayama by twitter queers in ugly mullets (please log off and touch grass.) and later by the boomer press for being a VILE, JEWISH, ANARCHO-LIBERAL ENGLAND-HATING "T-WORD" (just a reminder: Mae is not trans and transphobia hurts ALL women, don't fucking engage in it, you stupid "gender-critical" cunts) for idk... daring to say Tories suck (they do). She gave us the gift of #GAYRIGHTS (she did), and the gays rewarded her back with a paltry bottom 2 placement. She was just tryna slaaaaaaaaaay you filthy little bottoms. 😭😭😭

Like okay, the second Mae said she was on #VocalRest we knew there would be no "recovery". Her singing was never not strained (even at the pre-parties) and it wasn't going to get any better. She knew that and so should've we. Yeah, her off-kilter vocals were a big detriment to the overall performance. I wouldn't dare to claim otherwise.

However, at a certain point in the ranking I have to let go of my ~personal gripes~ and rally my angry logic for the purpose of defence and I've chosen THIS point you can't make me. Mae's vocals were blergh and that was a deal, but visiually, omg, it looked so GOOD?

THE ZENA-ESQUE BACKDROP (yes, we're gonna Like It)

THE FUN ACT WITH THE BUDDING HE/SHE/THEY DANCERS

THE SASS, THE SPUNK, THE ZEST, THE PLUCK

YOU'RE POWERFUL, YOU'RE ALL YOU NEED, WERK IT BABY, COME WITH ME!

If you have a one decently-sized negative and then a bunch of smaller positives, the net result is still a positive, surely? Well it was here and you'll have to deal.

Not to mention the UK fucking TRIED this year, okay and god there have been too many years recently where they've just been fucking phoning it in, not even trying to be good, sending reasonably talented artists like SuRie and James Newman to their doom with lame demos and visionless non-acts nobody could possibly be made to care for. "I wrote a song" was a self-written pamphlet against toxicity and in favour of mental health (Roxen could NEVER; therapy can work lest she/they first learn to LISTEN TO PEOPLE [other than *ndr*w t*te]). Depth and thematic relevance any 2010s BBC entry would murder an orphanage for.

While it did not pay out this year, and instead of like... a solidly competent entry we got a visual treat with trainwreck vocals, point still stands. The UK made an effort to prove that Ryder wasn't a one-time fluke. Kick-ass song by a kick-ass maiden was a good attempt and befitting her entry, is the proof that BBC are working on themselves, which is more than what one can say about the next country on our list:

---------------------------------------------------------

16. MALTA The Busker - "Dance (Your Own Party)" 35th place

Decade ranking: 43/116 [Above Montaigne, below TBA]

As is the case with televised competitions with semifinals, some participants need to NQ and ideally those flop spots go to solulu/delulu broadcasters that have lost their touch with reality, have no idea what they're doing, are throwing away golden opportunities with zero regard and yet respond with indignation when their stupid schemes ricochet back in their faces like errant boomerangs.

So in the light of that, TVM's flop era was has been long in the works and is fully deserved. To hell with this wishy-washy, cynically corporate piece of secretive shit broadcaster. Malta have only been truly good twice recently, and even Destiny was kind of debatable (What separates a "Je Me Casse" from a "Queen Bees" other than two glasses of chardonnay?).

However, as if often the case with entries that get the overdue flop results (see also: Ela and Tell Me More), The Busker didn't particularly deserve to be the anvil of fate, not in the least be hit with such overkill: last place with 3 points, excusez-moi? No idea what The Busker did (well, what they specifically did) to be immediately branded as THE MOST ANNOYING THING OF ALL TIMES once they arrived in Liverpool. We've seen worse of the same "offenses", where WERE these people when The Roop and Mikolas Jozef were being an ABSOLUTE TERROR to us? Oh right, bookie odds made it fashionable to pretend to like them, got it.

Anyway, how else can you do an entry such as "Dance" any justice if not by going ham? This is only one of two recent examples since "Walk On Water" where Malta actually staged appropriately, playing to their song's best strengths.

🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷 I FEEL BETTER IN MY SWEATER 💃💃💃💃💃💃💃

I *liked* the presentation. It was jank and clunky and Moldovan. The three acts, the sweater change, the obnoxiously bad sax playback, the bedroom dance moves that completented the song's bedroom karaoke vibe, Dav Jr.'s excellent hairline. Works for me! They HAD A VISION to craft a story of lockdown blues and social anxiety and I won't toss it in the bin just because it's trashy and out of vogue! It's Eurovision, and trashy also-rans have been a staple since the very beginning. Embrace them!

The true reason why the Busker did this poorly was bad luck. They were on second in r/o, had no built-in vote bases (like Serbia) and directly competed with the OTT-LOUD entries from Croatia and Finland. Hurricane Käärijä landed and left only destruction in his wake. Put The Busker in Semi 2 and their total points rise to a similar level that Iru and Diljá got.

Of course, The Busker also dropped for me, but that's just the normal trajectory for gimmicky entries doing its work. When the joke is still fresh and funny, I'm into it the most, but once I've acclimatized my mind and the novelty has worn off and I'm just left with how much I like the music. As it turns out, "Dance" was fine fun semi filler and that's something I'm perfectly okay with. 😁

THE RANKING

[tobyfoxfacts]

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