navillerainlove2

[navillerainlove2]

Born to be an actress, forced to be something else.

I was born to live 100 lifes.

I crave the difference of scenarios and perspectives. I daydream about my different roles: I can be a kind princess in a beautiful dress dancing around at the ball, I can be the cruelest villain you've ever seen, I can be a french librarian in a cult movie, I can be the suffering girl in a movie that becomes a "comfort movie" for the girlblog community, I can be a soft ballerina, I can be a talented ice skater, I can be a singer in a concert, I can be your favorite character who dies at the end, I can be a delicate porcelain doll, looking for a way to become human. I can be anything, and I want to be everything—not because of the awards (because, fuck the awards)—but because I am passionate about the lives I create in my mind.

I want to see edits, fanart, fanfics, and theories about the characters I've brought to life. I want to see my face laughing, crying, screaming, and suffering. I want to see my face in a coming-of-age movie, an opera concert, and so much more. Doesn't matter how many movies i see or books i read to forget this feeling because my head put me inside of every single one of them.

Sometimes, I catch myself observing my life from the outside—thinking about the things I want to experience—and noticing how, in real life, they are either inapplicable, boring, or not as good as I imagined. Having to live just one life, to be one person—even if I have so many facets to my personality—can be boring sometimes because everything takes too long to achieve, and yet, it's not even there. I dream about being on stages someday because I’ve always been the loud, expressive, clown type of person who has constantly been told, “You do too much! Too much gesture! You talk too loud! Too many facial expressions! Life is not a circus!” And in the hole where I found pain for being different, I also found my place—a place where all of that is seen as talent, a place where people stand up and clap for.

I was born to live 100 lifes, yet, i'm stuck in one.

[navillerainlove2]

Real

my dad would get mad at my mom when she would tell him not to be mean to me. he would say, “she didn’t even care about it till you said something. now that you said something she thinks she has to be upset about it.” i think about it a lot when people apologize to me. i was sad before they apologized but im more sad now. am i really sad? do i just feel this way because i think i have to? are my feelings even real?

[navillerainlove2]

[navillerainlove2]

[navillerainlove2]

I'm her, she's me

[navillerainlove2]

What i need

🔮☾

[navillerainlove2]

[navillerainlove2]

[navillerainlove2]

apparently not everyone on here understands this but if you call someone with an ed fat they will probably be hurt and offended by it! even if you “didn’t mean it in a bad way” (????)

[navillerainlove2]

I feel so stupid

[navillerainlove2]

I'm going out and i need a dress that is slutty and cute and sober at the same time.

[navillerainlove2]

I want to feel worse.

Be worse.

Be nothing.

Less than nothing.

[navillerainlove2]

Anyone else has like reverse body dismorphia? Like when u gain weight all of a sudden and u still feel skinny, even tho u are not anymore? Then watch pictures of urself wondering how did it happen. Hope i'm not alone.

[navillerainlove2]

[navillerainlove2]

[navillerainlove2]

I don't know what it is like to not have deep emotions. Even when I feel nothing, I feel it completely

– Sylvia Plath

[navillerainlove2]