#tbh tho I think there is a misunderstanding and we are both on the same page

[aihoshiino]

chapter 149 thoughts

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 6

anybody else here unironically love getting yuribaited or just me

Honestly I kind of don't know what to think about this chapter lol. As it stands I didn't really hate it - in a lot of ways, it feels like a return to the humour and emotional focus of early OnK which is something I've honestly been missing in the manga while revisiting the anime. Mengo's art toys chapter was great and getting some proper Akane focus was nice. On the other hand, transitioning into this style of writing with no cushioning after the last arc is so incredibly jarring and the Akane stuff we get here is… well, we'll put a pin in it for now and address it later.

In general "put a pin in it" feels like the right energy for this chapter. As the second chapter of a new arc it's primarily setup for the stuff we're going to be dealing with for the next however long, I think it's going to be something we can really only chew on when we have a more solid idea of what exactly it's setting up, long or short term.

Anyway…! We start off with an explanation of why Kana seemed to flip so suddenly last chapter which does patch up some of that logic a bit. I think it's a little silly that she didn't actually overhear the conversation and thus clue into the actual goings on with how close she was standing but that's basically romance misunderstandings 101 so…

Her leaping to assumptions and giving up so quick also feels a bit abrupt but tbh Kana has always been deeply insecure and quick to leap to it's so over when it comes to her feelings for Aqua. Not only that but as others have pointed out since last chapter, from Kana's outsider perspective, Aqua was at his happiest and most at peace while dating Akane and has been in a mental health spiral to the point of expressing suicidal ideation since they broke up. Obviously we, the readers, know the extenuating circumstances at place but from Kana's POV it makes perfect sense to conclude that Akane makes him happiest and is uniquely equipped to do so. It just feels clunky in execution.

On the subject of clunky… I won't lie, it really bugs me that the first really significant AKKN interaction we're getting is love triangle shit entirely centered on Aqua. One of my biggest complaints about the series post TB was the way the end of that arc set up a huge status quo change to Akane and Kana's rivalry and then kind of failed to expand on it at all and that continued to be true all the way up to the Movie Arc. I'd hoped that them both working in close proximity as actresses on the same project would give us opportunities to dig into that. We got some lip service in that regard and then swerved hard into suddenly hyperfocusing on Kana's insecurities regarding Ruby while Akane got all of zero meaningful focus during the back half of the Movie Arc even though she was one of the characters with the most potential to bring interesting things to the table.

Honestly, one of my biggest fears with Akane's declaration that she'd stop Aqua's plan was that even though the two of broken up, she would continue to orbit Aqua at the expense of being allowed an arc of her own that focused on her relationships with the wider cast. Like - even if what she says about not being romantically interested in Aqua anymore is true, she is nevertheless entirely revolving around him to a really frustrating degree. It really feels like Akasaka realized Akane would have solved everything going on in the Movie Arc and had to panic and offscreen her as a result lol.

tho akane dismissively talking about the idea of clinging onto a past lover did make me do a very mean chuckle. ouch, better hope ruby didn't overhear that one, girl!

That said, for all my complaints, I didn't hate their little talk. Yes, it contained an absolute mountain of transparent-to-the-point-of-cynical KanaKane shipbait but it was pretty gay so who's to say if it's really good or bad or not. It's also just nice to see Kana and Akane being able to have a talk that isn't entirely hostile even if I really wish it was under different circumstances, or even that we'd just seen the road they took to being able to be so civil with each other. But whatever - we're here now, I'll take what I get.

Circling back around a bit, I am intrigued by the idea of Akane framing herself as having 'moved on' from Aqua when she very clearly hasn't lol. Like I indicated up there, I don't quite think this is the case nor do I think we're supposed to uncritically accept this as being the case - it reads moreso to me that Akane is trying to convince not just Kana but also herself that she's moved on from Aqua so Kana doesn't feel like she's in Akane's way if she tries to shoot her shot. As for why… well, that's something to talk about at the end of the chapter but I do think it's interesting either way. Akane wildly overshooting in her scrabble to convince Kana it's totally just platonic and going for sonzoning Aqua was also about the most insane thing she's said in a while but her utterly panicked and deranged expression as she said it made me bust a gut laughing.

In general, the expression work this chapter was on fire and there was a ton of really funny and really cute moments - Akane's blushy pout after Kana's quasi-confession, the fish-eye lens effect on her when Kana sees her outside her door and especially her and Kana's expressions in the second to last page… jesus i lost it so bad.

I've been gushing about Mengo's panelling and expressions for the last ten or so chapters but she really is amping it up lately. It definitely feels like her art for OnK has been getting really refined during the last few volumes and while this chapter was a little whiplash-y coming off the end of the Movie Arc, I also think it's a really impressive display of Mengo's range, too. Her horror and drama chops were on full display while all that was going on but in a more lowkey chapter like this, she brings a lot of life and charm to even simple things like the little montage of everyone wrapping up their day of the beach - it's three silent, tiny panels at the bottom of the page but she crams a ton of detail and character into each one.

I also am Extremely Shrimpterested in the note this chapter ends on. Something OnK does occasionally is use genre trappings as a smokescreen for what is actually happening on page and Akane's words at the end here seem to indicate this is happening here, too. This entire chapter goes extremely hard on the romcom tropes and dynamics but the way Akane's energy totally changes once she's on her own makes me think this is intentional and a reflection of the way Akane is setting up to use Kana.

Because I do think it's undoubtable that she is setting up to use Kana. Her sudden leap to captain of the SS AquKana is not about wholeheartedly supporting two people she loves (at least not primarily) and more about her continued efforts to save Aqua from himself. Kana just happens to be a convenient pawn in making this happen.

If I'm making this sound very cynical and cold of Akane: it is! But that's why I think it's so interesting. Akane is very like Aqua in a lot of ways and seeing this tendency of his to perform cruelty and manipulation to the greater end of doing the most good (or at least in their eyes) mirrored in her is very juicy and potentially very deadly in the hands of someone as smart and perceptive as Akane.

It's also kind of telling and kind of really sad to see Akane asserting that Aqua wouldn't be able to take revenge if he had a girlfriend at his side when that certainly didn't stop him back when he and Akane were dating. It's subtle but it's consistent with just how little faith Akane seems to have ever had in Aqua's feelings for her. Kana's not the only one struggling with long term insecurities in that regard.

I also can't not address the elephant in the room that is the story setting this up while the resolution to whatever the hell is going on with Ruby is still dangling over everyone's heads. I mentioned this last chapter but it really is getting to be bizarre just how much of a nothingburger that has been turned into, not just in terms of the characters' lack of reaction to it but the way the narrative has just entirely failed to give it any weight or significance whatsoever. I can only assume that one of the other girls making a move to pursue Aqua (if it does end up happening) will kick Ruby into action and we'll get god knows what sort of resolution there but a dark and evil part of me that loves to start shit thinks that the funniest possible resolution would be for it to never come up or be referenced ever again just for the sheer frenzy of confusion and bafflement it would cause. everybody loses!!!

[therhythmafterthesummer]

Chris x pretty are so perfect ( the Drabble was so effing cute ugh!) but now I’m thinking what are their respective red flags ?? Like what are things that they need to work on in their relationship?? We’ve seen from that previous chapter that sometimes it does go down between them..

ohhh, good question, good question. i don't include this much in the stories because most of the time i just want to write the positive stuff lol i'm already too sad irl to deal with it constantly in my silly little stories as well, but i have certainly thought about this before, so i'll leave some thoughts under the cut:

so... Chris is very stubborn. very. he believes his ways are the best ways, you know? although he does try to let go of this and let people do what they want or feel like they need to to, he'll always have that little voice on the back of his head telling him that his opinion on any matter is the right one. see their argument in afraid to lose you, he was tired, scared, and it was near impossible for him to believe anything other than that his opinion on pretty turning was the only one, you know?

besides, he's half animal. he's incomprehensible levels of Intense™. in general, it's hard for him to be normal when it comes to emotions. he feels too much, too quickly, and depending on the situation this can cause both him and his partner distress and start misunderstandings (it's great when the emotions are positive, tho. as we've seen...)

also, he's very career driven, and tends to lose himself in his day to day job, to the point where he doesn't take care of his basic needs (food, sleep, cuddles with his pretty girl, etc). if he's too engrossed in what he's working on, he'll lose all sense of self and his surroundings, which will make pretty mum's left eye twitch in annoyance because he's a grown man that needs to take care of himself.

pretty is intense as well, although to a lesser, more human degree. i don't think their relationship would work if she weren't, tbh. chris' inner voice said it in the narrative of Alpha Dog, he'd been told he was too intense before, which is smth pretty hasn't done because she's just the same. again, this is great when it comes to positive emotions, because they're able to enjoy their love to the fullest, but when negativity seeps in, it can cause arguments and disagreements.

additionally, pretty can be... insecure. we know she's not particularly insecure about her looks, so this is not the source of her insecurities. it's her capabilities that she often worries about, which leads her to overthink things, to isolate herself from her loved ones because she feels like she can't fully provide them the support they need.

contradictorily, she likes to mother people. she's always been the mum friend, probably not only because she cares deeply about her friends and because she's good at it, but also because she likes to feel needed, you know? which is part of the reason why Chris' lack of care for his basic needs when he gets in his heads gets to her so much, because she doesn't want to mother him, but she feels like she'll eventually end up doing it because that's just who she is, and a girlfriend shouldn't really be mothering her boyfriend that's not how that works lol.

one thing that causes arguments sometimes is that Chris doesn't like to burden people with his problems, whereas pretty ALWAYS wants to help people with their problems, so sometimes it's like they're both on the opposite sides of a spectrum where she wants to know what's weighing heavy on his mind to help him, but he doesn't wanna tell her so she doesn't worry about him.

ultimately, they're both mature enough to know these things. not the things in themselves, but also in each other, and they really do try their best to communicate. Chris has gotten better at opening up, just like pretty has learnt to let things go sometimes when he's too closed off, simply reminding him that if he does want to talk about it, she'll be there.

they try to support each other even in their bad days, and if any arguments occur they'll always find a way to work it out.

[angeliicbf]

aww, i would have given anything to have had a crush like that, that's the sweetest and most adorable thing! :') unfortunately, all the teenagers in my middle school had their hormones out of control and all they could think about was sex, they were crazy!

you said in real life!! is this person you fell in love with on twitter a guy? i really pay attention to words, boy (or maybe i misunderstanding them lol). it's okay not to use labels, i'm curious to know what made you question that tho. tbh i've asked myself the same questions. this person i had a deep bond with on twitter also made me question many things and to this day i still wonder if i was really in love, or if i was manipulated and it all turned into some kind of obsession. when we started chatting i was 16 and she was 21, we had a beautiful friendship at the beginning but months later everything got out of control and the relationship became very toxic (we were both guilty). we met in real life when i was 18 but by that time everything i had felt for her was dead. we argued almost every day, it was complicated and very exhausting, so for my mental health, i left.

you're the first person i've told this to, keep my secret!

other than that, i've only been attracted to boys... however, i sometimes think girls are prettier lol. aaand compliments from a girl usually affect me more than from a boy, unless i really like the boy, that's why i'm confused!! 😂

no it was a girl!

i don't know either! maybe it's some stuff that i've seen on the internet that made me question that. so let's say i'm 99% into girls and there's this 1% of me being a little bit confused sometimes lol

that's sad it ended like that :( but yeah it's better to leave when it becomes too toxic

haha i understand!

[afluffymugcake]

it really is tho

the movie as a whole honestly is just about relationships in general

because obviously we have cletus and frances, then venom and eddie for those of us who know whats up, but there is also dan and anne in the picture, too.

the movie begins a little over a year and a half since eddie and anne got engaged, and almost exactly a year and a half since they broke up. eddie learns(while on what could be seen as a platonic, friendly friend friend date with anne) that she is now officially engaged with dan. this, of course, hurts eddie a lot, considering that despite having had all the time to get over his emotions, he has likely been so much more focused on everything else to really dive deep into how he feels so he can movie on. but he hasn’t moved on.

and so, dan and anne work as a parallel to what eddie and anne could’ve had. what his life could’ve been like if he never made the stupid decision of what he did in the first movie.

then, we have cletus and frances. 

the two have loved each other since forever, and they both know it. they love each other so much, in fact, that cletus even later begins to regret picking up the carnage symbiote because he knows since frances will inevitably hurt him, carnage will want to hurt her. they know how much they love each other and would do absolutely anything for their love.

this makes them the perfect parallel to eddie and venom. not just because they’re villians, obvi, but also because eddie and venom hold the same love for one another. but unlike cletus and frances, neither of them know it yet. or at least not fully comprehend it. they don’t quite understand yet what they mean to each other in what ways and how they show it, driving the plot between the two of them.

the reason why the two of them ‘broke up’ is due to the misunderstanding and lack of proper communication in their relationship. eddie wants to make sure they both(and especially venom) are safe, but venom(in addition to experiencing unimaginable hunger and being forced into an environment that contradicts his apex predator instincts) wants them to be more than what they already are. he sees the potential in their relationship, and he wants to live it to the fullest. he wants their relationship to reach that full potential, and quite possibly even beyond. these, unfortunately, contradict each other ofc because of their circumstances, and so they leave each other.

but even when they’re separated, they still think of each other. venom misses the perfect and irreplacable bond he had with eddie, and wishes he could see how much fun he’s been having. eddie, when working on the cletus kasady case, immediately asks himself what venom would do. 

then in the cathedral, every single fucking character(except for the church dude) in there has some sort of relationship to one another. eddie and venom and whatever the fuck they have going on at the moment with the endless mutual pining they aren’t even the most aware of. cletus and frances, literally about to get married. Mulligan, who shot frances. anne, who broke up with eddie. dan(showing up a little later in the fight), in a relationship with anne. carnage, who wants to kill his father venom. and even more that i really don’t want to get too into right now. every. fucking. person. has something to do with at least one other person in the cathedral.

and then ofc, venom and eddie literally run away from the authorities on a beach vacation. one of the gayest things in the world. 

but yeah i just think it’s about relationships in general, tbh.

Me explaining why "Venom: let There be Carnage" is a queer love story

[sabradaz]

Just wanted to say this isn't hate or anything. Look, i realize that u shuldn't blindly accept information u r being fed abt a medium u never interacted w, n this case it's books, n u obviously r right by saying that u shudn't have discourse abt it if u haven't read it, n so a person shudn't. That being said knowing the background of the creator/author n all the problematic things they've done, i personally will safely take the information i recieve abt it bc there's no point in reading something if i'm unable to enjoy it, especially considering it will waste the limited time i have in my life when i can spend it on other less hurtful things. I'm not gonna engage in discourse abt it, ofc, but i'm still not gonna read it. Also these aren't just petty problems. We're talking abt actual real life issues that actively hurt marginilized communities. We're talking racism, fetishization n transphobia. I'm not gonna force myself to read or watch something if ik it's only gonna end up mentally triggering n hurting me. Again i will not *personally* engage in discourse abt it, but i will stand idly n watch others who have read it do so, so i can form my own opinion on it. Is that a bad idea? Probably. But better safe than sorry. Is life unsafe, n i shudn't hold myself to the expectation that it will be? Ye, ofc, but that's not what i'm talking abt tho. I'm talking abt when *i* have the control, n if i can help it, y wud i wanna go out of my way to purposefully inflict pain on myself. If there seems to be a great concensus, n not a tiny one, that there r many problems w the medium in question, then frankly better safe than sorry. N i will even go as far as warn those close to me abt it. I won't start a discourse abt it since i haven't actually interacted w it, but i'll still give warnings based on what i've heard. If they end up wanting to interact w it, that's their choice. I won't force em not to. I've never watched “Birth Of a Nation” in my life, but i know from the great concensus held that it is an awfully racist movie, n it will only shock n upset me if i watch it. I'm not a robot. I'm a human w feelings n emotions, n i sure am gonna proudly n arrogantly act on them, ONLY when it comes to these issues. I'm not gonna think logically cuz academia, which has a BIG history w classism, racism, transphobia n everything bad under the sun, tells me to. Again none of this is hate. Just wanted to hopefully let u in on a diff perspective.

Here is the thing. You don’t have to have an opinion on anything. Saying, “I heard this movie is racist/homophobic/sexist/antisemetic, and therefore I have no interest in watching it,” is extremely valid and I personally think is very smart. First and foremost self care is essential and reading those reviews and then refusing to engage in the content is great. However, you need to keep in mind that you’re making those judgements based on reviews, not the content itself.

For example, I haven’t read the new ACOTAR book and I’m not planning on it. I made this decision based on the fact that I didn’t enjoy the other books too much and the poor representation throughout the series became a deal breaker. However, as long as I haven’t read it, I can’t really form my own opinions on it. I especially can’t from any opinions that would have any value in any form of discourse or otherwise. If (I have yet but I also don’t really engage with the fandom) I see a post calling it racist or homophobic I might feel validated in my decision but that doesn’t mean I can make my own post calling it racist or homophobic. I still wouldn’t have anything useful to add to the discourse regarding the new book. If you know what I mean?

I wrote this post specifically in response to some discourse occurring in the She-Ra fandom probably about six months ago? I won’t go into too much detail expect essentially the creators did a panel about the show which received a lot of accusations of racism, antisemitism and homophobia. Most people posting about it had clearly not seen the panel because I’ve never seen such a huge amount of misinformation being spread so quickly by a fandom in such a limited space of time. (I’d like to add that some of it was good and important, especially in regards to Bow’s brothers, but a lot wasn’t.) This wasn’t to defend Noelle Stevenson, but rather to highlight the fact that by refusing to watch the panel but engage in the discourse regardless they were adding a frankly useless voice to the issue and were at risk of spreading misinformation.

This post was not about people forming their own views on whether or not they want to engage in the content and by extension discourse of a text. If you decide you don’t, all the power to you. But you need to know you won’t have anything useful to add to the discourse or even general discussion regarding it. I couldn’t write a long post about the poor representation in Sarah J. Maas’ books because I read them so long ago I can barely remember. I don’t want to reread them and so as I don’t have anything useful to add to the discourse I don’t and I shouldn’t.

Academia is extremely classist, I know. It has many faults in its approaches to pretty much everything. But it is right in the sense that you have to engage in the material to make a judgement on it. You can’t do a calculus question without having seen the question, like you can’t interpret a text without having read/watched it.

I think we both agree on this though. My post was specifically referring to public discourse, not how one privately engages with books/movies/etc. and I agree with you in that regard. However, it is really important that we draw that line between what we can use as private judgements on something and what we can use for public opinions. If you put something in the public it can influence people’s understanding of what you are talking about, and as such you need to know what you are talking about. What Dave from Sound Design said about something isn’t a good enough basis to start public discourse on, regardless of whether you think it’s good or bad. But if it makes you want to either read/watch or not read/watch something then that’s fine too.

[weirdsht]

ENEMIES TO LOVERS CALE X READER PLSSSS😭😭

Fickle - Cale/Reader

a/n: idk if anon wanted a gn reader but I made a fem reader solely for the fact that my brain rotted at the thought of enemies to lovers waltz with pretty dresses. oh and the dynamic was inspired from "i'm stanning the prince" but like frenemies ver ig.

if anyone's curious this was 3667 words and 8 pages. also i had sm fun writing this that i might do stories with this as it's base hehe.

Tags: female reader, Gyerre!reader, massive novel spoiler, slight canon divergence?, enemies to lovers, but subtle because of their massive prides, misunderstanding, innuendos if you squint hard, light angst? (debatable tbh i dont think i made it sad tho but to be sure), open ending, Alberu pyscho analyzing his friends, god of death is a warning on its own, but he had little screen time, sarcastic Cale is my will to live, not beta read we die like Cale's slacker life

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

If there's something missing in the warnings let me know so I can add it

Any form of interaction toward the post is appreciated <333

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Masterlist

Everyone who knows Cale thought he would get along well with the beloved cousin of Antonio Gyerre, _____ Gyerre, the only princess of the Gyerre Duchy. Just from a few hours of observing one of them if you know the other you’ll immediately see their similarities; calm, craft, kind, helpful. Even the way they show off their power (in the rare instances they do) is similar.

It’s truly a waste, if only their political beliefs didn’t oppose each other they would’ve been great friends. Partners even.

But of course, there are some things that the general public can’t possibly know that only those who are very close to the two know. Like for instance the crown prince of the Roan Kingdom, Alberu Crossman.

If you ask the quarter elf (and actually get an answer) he’ll probably laugh first then say that the two aren’t in conflict because of their political beliefs. In fact, both of them are the crown prince’s supporters. With _____ even being his childhood friend that stemmed from their accidental meeting long ago that exposed him being part elf. But that’s a story for maybe never because it’s a dark part Alberu wants to forget.

“_____, there’s a meeting later after Cale announces his commander position. Are you gonna attend? I’m sure you’ll get something useful out of it.”

The prince innocently smiled, as if he didn’t know that _____ always indulged him.

And so at midnight, after everyone had finished their initial preparation for the war, the three of them had a meeting for further planning. ‘Looting and scamming plans’ as the great and mighty Raon would put it.

“Your Highness that’s a great plan but it’s lacking”

“Right I was about to say that, how amazing that for once you’re saying something right young master Cale, you truly are living up to the image the citizens have of you.”

The meeting was conducted smoothly. Of course, part of that was the two indirectly fighting each other using their glib tongues and sarcastic tones with Alberu just chuckling and watching the entire thing unfold.

Despite the low-key arguments they always have during these meetings, the redhead commander and the profound business-minded person of the Gyerre duchy synergize quite well. The plans they think of are very similar so when combined, one is left with a great plan with almost no loopholes. Their thought processes are also very similar, when one of them points out a possible mistake in a plan the other one is quick to bring up a solution as they’ve both been thinking of the same thing most of the time.

“While this meeting has been proven fruitful, I am now going to go back to my quarters as it is late. I thoroughly enjoyed my conversation with the young master of the Henituse household. But I do hope we won’t meet again, this lowly being cannot stand looking at the radiant face of our kingdom’s hero. One is happy enough to observe from a distance.”

Translation: don’t show your smug face with your overrated public perception to me ever again especially if we’re inside the same room.

“Oh no, please I should be the one saying that to you, your highness’ closest friend and confidant. How dare I even think of outdoing such an important person of our beloved kingdom.”

Translation: it should be you who should be avoiding me and simply stick to your business aiding the crown prince to the throne.

Tired from the load of bull she’s hearing, _____ turned around from the communication device and rolled her eyes which caused the crown prince to chuckle.

“Shall I call a maid to escort you to your room? Do remember that you have to attend the tea party the Orsena Duchy is holding in the afternoon.”

The tired lady simply puts her hand up to decline the offer before going on her merry way to her beloved bed, the very reason she likes staying at her childhood friend’s castle.

Alberu really can’t tell why the two have bad blood, acting like cats and dogs (but refined) whenever they meet. The two aren’t even competitive, both are probably too lazy to even think of competition knowing that they’re on the same side. Though they hiss at each other, they also know where to give credit when it’s due (of course sarcasm and backhanded compliments will follow suit).

So from whatever angle one looks at it, it seems as though they should at least be great acquaintances. Well no matter, the two know where to draw the line and it gives the blonde joy in life so he doesn’t dwell on it for too long.

Thus, with mainly the help of three cunning minds and glib tongues the war continued to be in their favour. Though suffering and losses are an inevitable part of war, the Henituse, now a duchy, also gained a lot of merits out of it. Especially with most of the heroes being the famous Cale Henituse’s people.

Although there were losses, as the pillars of the kingdom the nobles must not let the citizens feel it. One of their jobs is to put the masses' minds at ease as they secretly and thoroughly clean up everything in the background. Even though the war isn’t finished yet they have to show that everyone can still go on about their everyday lives in peace. Hence a celebration is in order. What better way to put everyone’s mind at ease than holding a ball.  

_____’s plan was to look around the hall for a minute then scurry to the nearest place she’d be able to find and hide there for the rest of the night. Naturally, nothing goes according to her vision as a certain prince seems to have a life mission to keep her party for as long as possible.

“May I have this dance my lady?”

Of course, one of his tactics is forcing Cale Henituse to ask the Gyerre princess for a dance. It’s a smart move really, with the commander’s large contribution to their feats, and everyone knowing that _____ also had a hand in strategizing everything makes everyone’s eyes on the powerful duo thus leaving no room to decline. 

“It is my honor young master Cale”

A dashing spectacle of soft purple and gold captures everyone’s eyes as the two of the most arguably influential people in the kingdom, a continent even, occupy the dance floor. Everyone can’t help but watch how graceful and effortless the two dance.

Cale spins his dance partner as if he's merely spinning a ribbon in the air and lead’s her and leads her exquisitely. While all of _____’s movements are one in such elegance that one thinks they can see the gold flowers embroidered in her light purple tulle gown to be alive and fluttering. Helping the two paint such a fairy tale of a performance.

“Say, young master. I suppose you’re not someone who’ll stoop so low to the point of copying someone else's attire for the night right? I’m sure the beloved young master’s outfit was also prepared by his equally beloved hyung.”

Translation: it’s so you to copy me but since I know Alberu had a hand in arranging your clothes tonight I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt

“Why yes princess. You know how the crown prince is, he doesn’t take no for an answer no matter how hard I try to refute it. In fact, if I didn’t know the prince was like that I would’ve assumed that you’ve committed piracy. Then again I know that your highness is far above such petty, pointless crimes.”

Translation: how dare you think I’m trying to copy you? If it wasn’t for Alberu’s doing I wouldn’t even think of stooping down to your unattractive sense of style.

As if to strengthen his point, Cale brings their bodies closer with such vigour that gets the other ladies whispering about how they wished their fiances and suitors were as romantic as he is. Of course, the beloved granddaughter of Sonata Gyerre didn’t back out with her viscous eye contact that other people thought was enthusiastic.

Simultaneous with the crescendo of the music were their movements. As the piece gets more intense so do their movements. The two have forgotten about everything else. All they see are purple and gold flutters of the hem gown and the tailcoat of the long jacket. The intense eyes looking at each other filled with animosity that none of them knew where it stemmed from. An intense feeling of adrenaline rushing through their veins in a competition to outdo the other, and the feeling of warm hands holding each other close to the point of it being painful.

While the two got lost in their own world, everyone else could not help but stop in their tracks and watch in awe. It was even to the point that the two strategists were the only ones occupying the dance area.

‘They make such a good couple. Look at the way they compliment each other and how they dance with such passion, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were just hiding their relationship.’

That’s probably what’s running on everyone’s minds as they misunderstand the battle going on between the two purple-clad figures.

“Hmmm, *Aram Khachaturian Waltz… I must say, you have impeccable taste in music. You managed to choose a piece that suits us. But, young lord. If I didn’t know any better I’d think that the possessive grip you have on my waist is trying to leave marks on purpose so the maids tomorrow will get the wrong idea.”

“Of course, it is basic knowledge for a gentleman to be able to choose a fitting piece for his lady. Certainly not my lady, please, I apologize for my actions as I am just trying to not lose you to the intensity of the piece. Though I can say the same thing for you and your sharp nails. What would my butler think when he sees scratch marks on me the next day milady.”

Smile and spin ladies and gentlemen, smile and spin. You mustn't let the enemy know how much they’re getting under your skin. As the music mellows down so as the adrenaline and intensity of the dancing pair. Hence why they are back to making small talk.

“Your Highness you were the one that arranged their outfits tonight right? Is there any reason as to why they seem to be matching? Are you also perhaps rooting for the two of them too?”

_____ can hear one of the noble ladies speak to Alberu as they sway near the blonde’s position. Tapping Cale’s arm twice, they silently communicated to subtly stay near that area to eavesdrop.

“Oh hardly no, their private affairs are for them to deal with unless they confide in me about it. I simply just wanted to show off the close relationship we three have. See, even I have light purple and gold on my outfit and this matching beautiful brooch I had the finest of artisans make for the three of us.” 

The two tuning in on the conversation can’t help but lightly scoff at the response provided. Everyone can see that purple is merely the accent of the prince’s suit while it is the main colour of the pair’s outfit. Still, knowing they cannot do anything yet as the piece is just about to finish, the two settled on waltzing away to the centre when they heard the topic shift from the brooch to the crown prince’s love life.

“You have great dancing skills, milord, I thoroughly enjoyed our time together.”

“Likewise milady, now if you allow me to escort you further so we can talk business while waiting for our dazzling prince”

Translation: I’m sure you heard the load of bull Alberu just said so I need you to talk to me to make a petty come back because I know you and so I know you’re up for it

“The pleasure is mine, I’m sure it's going to be a pleasant conversation”

“Then if you allow me to lead the way…”

If Alberu felt the cold chill run down his spine as he was talking to vassals, then he did a very good job at hiding it. A decision he’ll regret making later on as two pairs of glowing eyes grin at him with malicious intent they like to call ‘payback’.

After that, their relationship got a bit better. There’s still bad blood but thanks to the common headache they share they got along a bit better.

They started getting to know each other outside of the initial image they had of each other and noticed the similar traits and life goals they had. 

“Cale Henituse only second to the crown prince for being the most wanted bachelor? What? Is this for real? This man is surely doing witchcraft to make his press image look that good. This can’t be the same Cale Henituse I know who isn’t competent at taking care of himself.”

At her words, red eyes maliciously snapped their way to her figure to stare with amusement and resentment.

“Stare at me like that all you want, it doesn’t help my case that you’re bleeding from every orifice of your body right now. Makes me wonder how much trauma you gave everyone who personally saw you like this during the Henituse war. No wonder why they went ballistic. Of course, the same thing can’t be applied to me as I will be more than glad to laugh at your demise with front-row seats.” 

Poor young master Cale can’t even make a proper argument as he is too busy to strive to live another day. Contrary to the princess’ lips that spout poison like a viper, her hands tell a different tale. Soft, gentle hands cradle the commander’s matted hair as she lightly wipes down the blood causing his usual well-cared hair to be this atrocious. Beside him is a baby black dragon who fell asleep from the fatigue of his awakening.

“I hate you but I have to give you credit for being the cause of Alberu’s hilarious face when you dropped everything on him all at once then left to go self-destruct. Anyways I haven’t seen Alberu make a face like that since I told him from what house I’m from.”

The annoyed, but in pain man tried to wheeze out an answer but was quickly shushed with benign hands that just finished wiping his face and were now cleaning up the sleeping dragon.

“Don’t even try talking. Yes, yes I know that look, you’re wondering how I even get here and if I just went here to mess with you. Well, let’s just say that I have my ways and this is me repaying you for the amazing scene you made with Alberu.”

Cale decided on whether he should argue back, but upon the return of warm hands that delicately took care of him he decided to let it pass for once.

Thus, Lady Gyerre took care of the famous commander as his plate fixed itself. This made it easier for everyone else to do their respective tasks seeing that the young master was in good hands.

And if the first thing Cale saw as he woke up was a certain lady’s head sleeping on his side. They didn’t talk about it. And if the first thing _____  felt when she woke were big, warm hands caressing her hair softly. They also spoke no word of that.

Instead, the two continued on with their lives as normally as they could after that. 

It doesn’t help that they synergize well so they work with each other quite a lot. It also doesn’t help that since Raon is now relieved, the dragon doesn’t hesitate to ask _____ to stay over and indulge him further. It most certainly doesn’t help that the two of them are good at hiding their feelings, making it seem like they hate each other to the bone with their usual fights. 

And it really doesn’t help them that they seem closer than ever no matter how much they try to push each other away.

Late-night talks, comfortable skinship, the way they magnetized to each other unconsciously, one constantly seeking out the other especially when it comes to planning.

Yeah, it really doesn't help them one bit.

There’s also the pesky voice that has been watching over _____ since she was a kid that turned out to be the God of Death.

“So you’re telling me that the other kid you’ve been playing with was that guy. Then you told me that if we could meet we would’ve been great playmates? Oh, and you’re also the God of Death everyone kept complaining about… I can see where they’re coming from…”

That conversation resulted in the feather pen, a relic of the said god, hardening and smacking the poor princess across the face. Of course _____ Gyerre is petty so she throws the pen in a corner and refuses to talk to God until he explains everything and lets Alberu help with the Sealed God’s test.

As the whole thing continues on and everyone gets tired of the two, Alberu Crossman can’t help but try to figure out where the animosity even came from in the first place. Just why are they hostile to each other at the beginning with no explanations. Just what was the thing they saw that made them like that.

If it wasn’t for the Sealed God’s test maybe Alberu wouldn’t have been able to piece everything together.

The two are so similar that they even share their hatred for people who sacrifice themselves without realizing they do exactly just that.

[funny, so that’s how it is]

Alberu laughed to himself one night as he thought about it. Of course, his laugh didn’t go past Cale, err Kim Rok Soo as he looked at the tiger as if he transformed into something worse than his current form.

But war is war and there’s little to no time for anything else when you’re focused on not letting this White Star wannabe take over the world. Hence why, despite all the clear signs brooding over them, both opted to continue playing hide and seek of feelings in the middle of war and everything is left up in the air.

Still, humans in general are fickle things that don’t realize what they have been caring for until the direst of moments.

“CALE I SWEAR TO GOD DON’T YOU HAVE A BRAIN? IF YOU DIE HERE RIGHT NOW I’M GOING TO PERSONALLY BRING YOUR SOUL BACK INTO THAT BODY JUST SO I CAN KILL YOU AGAIN” 

Those words and the back of the one who said it was the last thing Cale registered before he fainted.

When _____ felt uneasy her mind immediately went to Cale and his self-sacrificial tendencies. Good thing that she still has the gift the God of Death gave her a long time ago.

“Listen, the kid I’ve talked about before is coming here soon. I’m sure you’ll get acquainted well. That’s why I’m gifting this to you, you can use this to locate wherever that punk is and go there. Fret not for you can also easily teleport anywhere as long as you have my permission.”

She never thought that she’d actually use it to locate Cale, nor did she ever think that she’d be panicking over the man and what he was doing.

Luckily, she arrived in time. Cale just finished using instant and is very weak, near him was someone trying to take advantage of the chaotic situation and finish the redhead off. More lucky that the Gyrre princess has quick reflexes and manages to block off attacks from the bear. 

“I’ve heard what the situation is, Raon I’ll hold them off! Just focus on teleporting us out of here!”

A swarm of the remaining bears and black mages left in the Endable Kingdom continue to attack the three. While _____ is a pretty high-ranking swordsman, it cannot be denied that she went to the enemy's territory on a whim and with no proper armour. There’s also the fact that she isn’t simply fighting. Rather, she’s protecting the one guy she swore to leave to die. Thus, by the time the three teleported to Puzzle City, the two humans had fainted; one with a broken plate and the other one suffering from a large wound inflicted by the enemy.

Humans and their emotions are fickle things. It’s funny how a few words and actions will make them spiral down again. But it works out because these humans know that they are like that, they understand one another. They know that that’s exactly what makes them human.

That’s why when Cale first woke up, after getting his plate fixed again, and the first one he looked for was _____ no one said anything.

When he wordlessly insists on taking care of the unconscious lady no one dares question how he balances all of his tasks in the middle of war.

And when his family sees him getting lost in his own records late at night they don’t disturb him. They simply watch over their young master, making sure that he won’t hurt himself as he autopilots his way to juggling making plans and taking care of Lady Gyerre.

Indeed humans are such fickle creatures dense enough to not realize they’ve been tightly holding on to something unless it’s already too late.

But at the same time that very fickleness is what gives them the ability to do an entire 180 once they realize their mistake.

That’s why in his own way, Cale will surely make it up. Set things straight between the two of them, and not let his mistakes on Earth be the same sins he commits in his new life.

*Aram Khachaturian waltz is the piece that got me brain rotting about the waltz I'm sorry but it gives massive enemies to lovers waltz scene jsdfjaksdgfsdg

[violentviolette]

hey!! i see your post about overcoming ideas about genitalia. i’ve honestly gone through a long journey to overcome any preconceived ideas about penises. and honestly i fully understand and accept that there’s nothing about penises that makes them manly or male-associated. i think they can be beautiful in their own right! i don’t have any negative feelings. however, i still just don’t have any interest in performing sexual acts with them, and idk how to get over that? im not disgusted. i guess it just doesn’t do much for me like pussies do, even tho i KNOW it doesn’t impact how i view someone as a woman. any advice on how to go from here? i don’t wanna like. experiment with a trans woman and put her in a situation that makes her uncomfortable and objectified just so i can over come this indifference, idk what else to do tbh. like i know trans women are women no matter if they have a pussy or a penis. i know that in my heart regardless of if people believe me or not, i know what’s in my heart more than anyone. but still. i can’t seem to figure out how to change what i want sexually. so i guess i’m just looking for advice here!

so like I think this is a great example of people (unintentionally) fundamentally misunderstanding the point of why ur unpacking ur transmisogyny in the first place

the point is not to make everyone personally go out and have sex they dont want to be having. the point is to get people to see and treat trans women as both women and people. with humanity and dignity and respect and with all the civil rights and liberties we afford to cis ppl. if ur doing that, then thats it. thats literally all u have to do

none of that has anything to do with ur personal sexual taste and interests and what arouses u. none of this conversation is about what arouses u personally

the answer to ur question is do nothing. change absolutely nothing about the people ur fucking. u dont have to have sex with someone with a penis. like genuinely. who u personally are choosing to fuck has absolutely nothing to do with the conversation.

its not about changing ur personal sexual behavior or tastes. its about understanding where societal bias and bigotry has enterered into our assumptions about others and how that affects both how we treat them in real life and how we protect or oppress them on a societal scale

I'm personally not attracted to red heads. this doesnt mean that red headed women aren't women just because I, a man who fucks women, doesnt want to personally fuck those specific women

its the same as when we say that cis ppl questioning their gender doesn't mean "become trans or ur not woke" it means "understand urself and ur choices better and where societal pressure might be influencing u"

cis people can question their gender and stay cis. striaght people can question their sexuality but ultimately stay straight. some lesbians can decide they still aren't comfortable personally having sex with a penis even of others are and thats fine. theyre all still lesbians. u don't ever have to have sex that u aren't comfortable with or force urself to be comfortable with things u aren't

none of that has anything to do with what trans people are actually advocating for when we advocate for our human rights. none of this is about u and ur sex life.

decenter urself and ur sex life from ur politics because it has no reason to be here

[himehimestar]

Hey I just curious about this all of the sudden, Hey there, what is the difference between amejaki & haady gyaru? Also what do you see of gyaru being considered as bl@ckf@ce & EA baiting/Asianfishing? Because people all over the internet including TikTok & IG are saying that it considered as it. What are y'all thoughts on it?

hey!! so amekaji and haady do (sometimes) have a bit of overlap, so they are pretty similar! 

amekaji is based off of an idealized version of america (tbh more like california specifically; like everyone surfs and eats burgers lol its very stereotypical “american”). so amekaji is a bit more boxy, and definitely more brand central. most of the brands that are heavily associated w amekaji are just covered in their names and logos. some brands associated w amekaji are cocolulu and blue moon blue. 

haady is actually based off of rave culture, so its a lot more saturated (typically; amekaji is also a super bright style. but haady usually has more neons) so haady tends to have a more revealing style, with more shorts, skirts and dresses present. also a lot more animal print (zebra, cheetah, etc.) and black incorporated in the clothes. some brands associated w haady are jsg and galaxxxy.

tbh they are both out of mainstream gyaru as they are out of fashion now in 2022 (the styles peaked in like 2008-2010), so honestly you dont see it much anymore (with the exception of dede, but tbh shes kind of doing her own thing; i tag her as haady bc of the rave influence, but honestly its her own style at this point. super cute tho dont misunderstand!)

alright, onto the more serious side of this question. 

to start, i am white, so no matter how educated i try to be, i will always be coming from a place of privilege. (bi)poc please feel free to add to this conversation!

so when it comes to blackface. yes absolutely there are styles in gyaru that absolutely resemble blackface. there’s no denying that. manba and yamanba, although their origins were not racist (as it started as a rebellion against japanese beauty standards), are examples of that. additionally, theres the entire style of b-kei or b-gyaru. literally “black gyaru”, as in trying to look black. like, thats literally blackfishing. 

that being said, that definitely isn’t the case for all styles of gyaru. is amekaji blackface? no absolutely not. is agejo blackface? definitely not. i think it really comes to the more severely tanned styles of gyaru where you get into a grey area or just outright blackface. 

and even then, you can do darker styles without doing blackface! literally, just do the makeup without making your skin darker, its not that hard. even when it comes to manba, there literally is banba, which is the same makeup with less tan. just do that. and when it comes to tanning, as long as you are tanning to a color that naturally occurs for you, then fine, that’s cool. over tanning and pushing your foundation to be darker and darker... well that’s where issues start. 

now heres the thing. do gyaru in japan know that their looks are seen by us westerners as blackface? not always. im not justifying that at all, but there isn’t a cultural context that we have here. japan is a monoethnic country for the most part. there isn’t the same understanding of race and intersectionality that we have. again, i am not justifying this at all, just explaining as to why there are still gyaru in japan wearing manba. 

that being said. us gaijin gyaru, we know better. we should know better. white/nonblack gyaru have a responsibility to not participate in these styles. its really not that hard. theres so many other styles of gyaru, no one needs to do these intense and extreme styles. 

EA-baiting/asianfishing definitely happens. and it’s not okay. there are ways to do gyaru without trying to make your face look another race. i literally made a multiple part series (with the help of many gaijin gyaru) on youtube about how to make gyaru makeup suit your face. there are ways to do gyaru makeup without being disrespectful and without changing your entire face to change your race. 

yes, gyaru makeup has kind of strict standards of what it is supposed to look like, but that doesn’t mean that it has to look only one specific way. anyone can contour in any way to suit their face. anyone can wear top and bottom lashes without making them look a difference race. 

personally, when i wear gyaru, i still look white. like, honestly, it takes more effort to try to look another race than to just wear the makeup as is. 

tbh this is a bit of tricky thing to explain without using photos, but i really don’t want to become a call out blog lol. so i’ll leave that up to your imagination. but i have seen it many, many times. over the many years i’ve been involved in the gyaru comm. god, ive even seen people openly say theyre trying to look japanese, like hello????????? 

do i think following gyaru style itself is EA-baiting/asianfishing? no. can it be? absolutely. 

hope this helps!!

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Am I the only one who doesn’t get why some (tw) are shitting on Haru and Rin separately just for the fact that they reciprocate each others feelings? Because it’s not the feelings they wanted them to reciprocate? Just curious because I'm new and recently entered the fandom. And since when miscommunication in between means that they don't deserve to be happy at the end? Because you're an idiot when it comes to love, doesn't mean you're a bad person. I came from chinese bl and it's weird to me.

Hehe welcome to the madness, perfect time to join! Yeah, tbh that's the thing in the fandom that always bugged me the most. The fact that some act like if you don't reciprocate someone's feelings, it makes you a bad person. I always found it incredibly cringy when ppl in real life for example make ppl feel guilty for not feeling the same way and make you feel like shit bc of it. I don't get why you have to apologize for that or feel bad, if you never ever gave him any hope or anything in the first place.

Nowdays it's thankfully a rare sight already in this fandom, bc most already grown and see perfectly what's truly healthy and unhealthy, it's just tbh only the same 3 accounts ppl keep sending me that are still on that, who also think that Haru is literally possessed in the last movie so I don't see the point of like arguing with ppl like this. It's just they're always getting extremely angry when Haru wants Rin as if it's his fault that he feels this way and always go about it like he is inconsiderate of Makoto's feelings. Implying that they're mad that he doesn't feel that way about Makoto, while Makoto does. I'm same as @tododeku-or-bust for example said here (idk what fandom brought this on, but just in general) also do not get what's appealing about this kind of relationships in the first place.

If they shipped it in terms of like it's mutual I'd get it, but they go on about how Rin or Haru are bad friends bc they're not in love with their best friends... like ?????? I didn't know you owe it to your friends to have romantic feelings for them.

In real life if you found out that your bestie feels that way for you while you don't reciprocate, it's a burden, that'll make you feel uncomfortable and at times guilty when you shouldn't technically feel that way. So putting on someone a burden of "I was pining for you all along", when you know they don't feel the same is giving me this feeling of cringe. So I personally do not get what's enjoyable at seeing it like that in Free. But to each their own kink lmao.

It's like... is Haru at fault for the fact that he was Ikuya's first love too? I do not get it really. Like he doesn't have to take responsibility for everyone who falls for him and he doesn't owe anyone to reciprocate their feelings. Even to Rin. Like if he didn't feel the same way for Rin, it wouldn't be his fault either. But since he does feel the same way for him, it's like... good, great, happy for them.

Like once again if someone believes that Makoto and Sousuke are unrequitedly in love with Rin and Haru, that's not rinharu fault. Haru literally never ever lead Makoto on EVER. He never ever did anything that would make Makoto believe that they're more than friends. He was always honest about everything. Like when Makoto thought that he went out to see him, but Haru just wanted to see the sunrise, he told him just that. He never encoraged anything, he refused to live with him and never wanted. I do not get why it's supposed to be his fault that he doesn't like his friend in that way. If Makoto has some unrequited feelings for him and decided to hang up on this, it's his own life choice in my opinion.

It's like saying that Onodera and Takano for example don't deserve to be together just because they unintentionally hurt each other and got separated for 10 years bc of misunderstanding. This argument is like typical Yokozawa life position aka "but I was there when he left you heartbroken for several years, that means you MUST pick me". As I've said before, that's just not how it fucking works. And just bc they couldn't explain things to each other normally, doesn't mean that they don't deserve be happy now. Being idiots is not a crime.

Or if you came from chinese bl, lets go "Guardian" for example. Zhu Hong also was on about how "why you love Shen Wei, not me, I always did everything for you and I was always there, I even wore heels bc you once said you liked those etc". Like he never asked her to do this, he never gave her any hope, he was beyond rude and open about the fact that he's not interested, he never did anything to make her think she had a chance since the beginning. Just bc she decided to dedicate her life to false hope that maybe one day something might change is not his fault. It was her choice. Why Yunlan should feel like shit bc of that I do not get personally.

I'm just buffled bc like Haru for example is the most caring about other ppl's pain person, but they call him selfish and rude bc of the way he is with Makoto at times, not even realising that it IS in fact what means being kind sometimes.. to not give someone a chance when you know you don't feel it. I was always saying this like since forever, being kind doesn't mean for example giving everyone second chances, loving everyone, wanting to be friends with anyone etc. In some situations it's not being kind, it's being stupid or even not being a good person. Once again... offering someone friendship after he openly dissed your friend and you see that he's not in any position to talk back is not kind. Or if someone cheats on you constantly, but you always forgive them it's also not you being kind. It's you being stupid. Sometimes you have to be harsh. It's for the greater good.

And like I saw several times stuff like someone under scenes where Rin has his eyes for Haru only, commenting like "oh great, look at Rin being inconsiderate of Sousuke's feelings again. Can't believe you guys find this romantic." I mean, if in their opinion Sousuke is in pain from being Rin's friend, he can end it, it's his choice. It's not Rin's fault that he thinks of him as just his friend. So thinking that Rin is an asshole bc each time he simply hangs out with Sousuke he's a selfish bitch is fucking insane. I'd feel extremely bad if my best friend was seeing it this way for example. It's like hella ugly.

This annoys me also bc of the fact that Rin, the person who at the age of 12 single-handedly saved his family from falling apart after his father's death, who's an amazing friend to Sousuke and did everything to make his happy after he found out about his trauma and always checks on him first and cries about his shoulder, who in the late evenings taught Rei to swim, when everyone else gave up already xD, who was looking after Nitori during his training, who pretends to walk the same road, just because he's scared to let Gou return alone in the evenings, the most amazing son and brother, is suddenly an asshole just because Haru is in love with him, but not with Makoto. I mean, thats just... huh? Like I dont mind you ship what you want to ship, it's like to each their own crayons for real. But like dissing them and call them selfish just bc they only see their friends as friends and don't want anything more is weird to me.

As for the fact that bc of the misunderstanding they don't deserve to be happy, that's just idiotic. I mean, lets punish Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan too just bc Lan Zhan couldn't voice his real feelings back then and bc WWX misunderstood him. Lets ship WWX with Wen Ning instead. Nezumi is cancelled, he doesn't deserve to be with Shion. He left him. Takano should stay with Yokozawa, Onodera is trash. Wu Xie is trash for wanting to be with Zhang Qiling too. It doesn't matter why he leaves, it only matters that he always does. I can't believe he doesn't see that Pangzi is there with him all along xD. What an ungrateful trash of a human being I can't even.

And anyways btw both Rin and Haru are not ideal human beings in any way (otherwise I wouldn't love them this much tbh xD). But their flaws are definitely not what for example mh shippers usually blame them for. You can argue about their other imperfections easily. Like being stupidly stubborn for example. I won't point fingers here, Haru lolz. Or literally anything else.

My point is you can find what to trash them for logically, if you wanna. Do it smartly tho. Otherwise you make your ship look bad.

And I once again say what wise person said about his relationships and about the fact that not being able with someone he loves hurt him and 'why is he doing this to himself' he answered: "it's not on him. my happiness and my pain is for me to handle". Everyone decides for themselves. This is why for example Haru was so broken about voicing this to Rin and didn't have any intentions to tell him that in the first place. Bc it's not right, if you're not sure that it's requited. Technically he has no right to blame Rin for making him fall in love with him and then leaving in the first place. It's not Rin's fault really, that he made him feel what he feels for him, it's ultimately Haru's problem. That's why he feels has no right to blame him in the first place. I mean, he doesn't know that Rin feels the same, that means saying to him "you break my heart each time you leave" and making him feel bad about it is technically wrong. That's why Haru to himself said "no, please, don't say such things to him". Everyone for himself decides who deserves your 5, 7, 800 or 10000 years of your pain. It's your decision. It's your life. If Haru feels like Rin is worth it, then you have no say in that matter really. The only reason we call Rin an idiot or Haru an idiot is because we know they feel the same, so we can. But blame someone else for not feeling what you're feeling is not right.

So like even if you feel like Makoto and Sousuke have feelings for their friends, blaming Haru and Rin for having feelings for each other and not for them is beyond weird. And there's nothing wrong with putting someone you love first, every bro/sis gets it. You can say bros before hoes all you want, but like Lan Zhan might just drop his bro for his hoe, if he was given a choice. Would it make him a bad person? The fact that Wu Xie chose to save Xiaoge before Pangzi makes his a bad person? My point is it's not all that easy.

I just feel like many ppl in this fandom are very weird about many things. Either because they do not get what it's like to go through some things or maybe they just do not get that no matter how cheesy this sounds love is not that simple. I mean, for example not all selfish is bad, sometimes like in Haru's case for example not being selfish is also bad. Bc if he finally asks for what he wants, he will make both himself AND Rin happy.

To be angry at Rin bc of the aftermath of his father's death and s1 I never had it in me, after knowing everything and how adults handled it. If some of Sousuke's fans bc of Yakusoku and the fact that Rin found his salvation in Haru bc he helped him to move forward after getting his family out of this hell alone and that Haru was the safe haven that made him happy in this moment of his life, want to trash Rin for the fact that he "neglected" Sousuke, its like your opinion. I personally do not get it. Rin doesn't owe Sousuke anything. It's not his fault again that Haru's existence helped him to feel better.

Just like not everyone will get why Haru in 1x12 was so happy about the fact that he could help Rin. To be that special somebody for someone who can "save" you in moments of your life like this, especially if you love them is an incredible feeling. And no, your bestie isn't always the person for this job, no. I don't see why people do not get that I guess, that's all. But we all have our own opinion on everything, so...

We same as you do not get it since forever, but its like it is what it is in this fandom. I personally just have another life position on stuff, so I'm very far from that point of view they have.

[daz4i]

top 10 favorite fanfic tropes!!!!!

mwah thank you!!!!! <3

tbh some of these obviously exist in like, official media, but i’m gonna treat it as like. what i enjoy to read the most in fics. or like they’re not exactly tropes as is but can be used as such?? i think you get me. also other than the top 5 the order doesn’t matter much tbh. ok now that we’re all on the same page there we go 

10. ok i have to include it even tho it’s fandom specific. palace fics lol. at this point they’re one of the only plot things i even try to read. i just think that the structure of it is a really good way to open people’s creativity and that it’s nice to explore characters in various ways with them it’s so cool

9. ppl are gonna laugh at me for that but i fucking love fics that take characters from extreme universes or situations and puts them through the most mundane shit ever. ig it’s just modern aus in a way?? but yeah i love them they’re always so funny BUT ALSO WHEN THEY’RE NOT THEY SOMEHOW HIT SO MUCH HARDER

8. demon/angel aus. together (tho i’m also a big fan of demon x human stuff). bc it’s me how can i not include it. i think it’s very sexy when angels and demons fall in love and having to question both their place in the universe and their morals for love i think it’s very sexy. also special interest go brrrr. unfortunately i haven’t read that many good fics with that au but i do tend to write at least one for each fandom i’m in bc it’s very dear to me and i love everything you can do with it 

7. any au of like. workers in the stores across the street from each other. like the classic is flower shop/tattoo parlor which is SO good but honestly any sort of shop works. they’re just so fun and chill and i love them idk. ig this is an extent of modern aus but shhhhh

6. whump. what can i say. i love suffering

5. canon divergence but like, in a butterfly effect way. like a character makes a very small decision different from canon and it changes the whole story completely (have to rec it’s just a light rain (but a storm's still comin') as an excellent example for that if you like p5)

4. soulmate aus 🥰 idk why but i’m really really attached to those even if irl it sounds awful and painful. i like to joke that my brain is a soulmate au machine bc it really is. give me any word i’ll turn it into a soulmate au guaranteed

3. chatfics and other online based stuff!!!!!! they’re so fun and i love when people go the extra mile to make their fic look like the app(s) it’s happening on it’s literally so cool. chatfics are so fun as is and are mostly used for crack stuff, yes, but i also genuinely think it’s a very unique way to tell a story when done correctly and i’ve read some fics that were mostly texting based in a way that really stuck with me (one example off the top of my head is all the king’s men that i really rec if you like fe3h)

2. it’d be first but unfortunately the main problem is it can’t work with every ship. like ig you can technically apply it to every ship but it doesn’t hit as hard as ships that fit it. anyway i love murder couples so so much. couples who kill together. couples where one kills and the other gets them their victims or helps them clear the evidence and give them an alibi. couples who torture people together and these are date nights. you can’t go wrong there tbh (but again it usually works with ships where like, one person already kills people in canon for example)

1. fake dating. no doubt no doubt. it’s so versatile and it’s always just GOOD no matter what. it leads to actually valid forms of miscommunication or misunderstandings and i think that’s very cool. why is it the first you may ask? well let me tell you about a special little ship that’s been haunting me since like 2014-2015 called kurotsuki. i’m not actually gonna get into it i’ll just say some of the most popular fics abt it are fake dating and this made me very much fall in love with that trope big time. it’s also just good ol human relationships-based conflict that can work in literally any setting for a variety of different reasons. like i said it’s just GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can’t top it. very hard to mess it up bc the more convoluted and messy your story is the better it gets. it’s the perfect trope

send some top 5/top 10 asks?

[hariosborn]

 sirius black fic rec list!!

okay but imagine having sirius black fall in love with you...a concept 😌

the feeling that we’re meeting again by @writesowhatnext

cross house relationships!!!!! literally yall are missing out if you project yourself into the same house as your lover!! you’re missing out on the tension, the passion, the romance!!! and once you get out of hogwarts and that tension is still there!!! post hogwarts sirius!!! hes so hot!!! and grumpy >:) you can never go wrong with slowburn fics!! 

the risk of love by @with1love1anu

ive been following anu for foreeeeeever and she never fails!! her writing is always so good and shes one of my favorite marauders era writers <33 you’ll see as you go down this list - but i love pining fics like im obsesssssed!! ooo and this one has a hint of best friend james and it just makes the story 10x better! 

breakfast in bed by @wondernimbus

when authors are 14 years old but can write flawlessly even though i struggle doing simple short stories in english class 😘not but fr ysa is such a good writer xx. breakfast in bed! what would yall eat 🤔if we’re talking abt english food (like food from england) idk what they eat over there tbh but i would pick roasted potatoes and waffles for breakfast :) wait actually no i wouldn’t, id probably do french toast with powdered sugar, strawberries, and french fries. ik it sounds weird but i had that the other day and i teared up, it tasted so good. but in this fic they have something even better!! have you ever wondered what it would be like to have toast, strawberry flavored muffins, and fruit for breakfast, all from the comfort of your bed, with the one and only sirius black? well look no further bc this fic has that and everything more!! 

godmother by @blisfvll

jen does it again!! coming through with the godmother!reader x godfather!sirius fics <33 (shes on this list three times bc she just writes so much good sirius content 😫) not to be morbid but when im gone i want someone to talk abt me the way sirius talks about the reader 😔i just love the way the sirius talked about her so lovingly and treated her like this ethereal being and painted her like this angel bc that must be so comforting for harry knowing that not only are his parents looking after him but his angel of a godmother is too ♥︎

oh shit + pt2 by @im-a-writer-right 

big brother remus am i right! as the oldest child, i love reading fics where im the younger sibling bc i just want someone to be able to look after me and care for me and be protective abt who i date bc they’re like “ i just don’t want you to get hurt” 😔 but anyways - this was a rlly cute and funny fic! i love snarky sirius and butthead james and overprotective remus and scared of falling for her brothers best friend reader :) if you like those all too you should read this one 😌

warnings by @blisfvll  

i felt like i was watching a short film! i loved this one! its so well written that you can like watch the play by play of everything happening in your head, like its sooo good! im sorry i keep putting so many angsty fics on this list 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 they’re just all so beautifully written and jen is such an amazing writer <33 

just a natural fact by @iliveiloveiwrite 

MILLIE!! YOU DID IT AGAIN!! guys if you are not following millie pls do i freaking love her sh*t and shes so far been on every fic rec list ive made :)) back to the review tho! im a very big fan of those timeskip fics like where theres a scenario for every year at hogwarts - and this one is one of those and i just - AGHHHGH!!! idk if this counts as a slowburn but like as someone who injects themself into the hogwarts timeline and pretends to be studying for her NEWTS when shes really doing AP work - i love reading about study sessions w remus where sirius tries to interject himself so he can be close to you 😊i dont want to spoil anything but like the tagline “Break my heart. Break it a thousand times if you like. It was only ever yours to break.” RUINED ME!! and you know what! i’ll do it again! i will read this fic and let it ruin me three more times and ten more times and however many i feel like! so yes, if you couldn’t tell, i love this one, and you guys should totally read it

die for you by @blisfvll 

i like to torture myself with sad fics so now im passing them along to you so we can all cry together ;( domestic life with sirius is something so very personal to me 😌so ofc i jumped at the idea of being harry’s godparent along w hubby sirius! but do not be fooled by my review - this one is sad - but its totally worth it!!! the things we do for baby harry am i right?? i am right 😌

wrapped around my finger by @remusishotterthansirius

jealous sirius jealous sirius jealous sirius!! oooo and when he growls >:)) i love the idea of being like this unattainable magical being in sirius’s eyes and you’re just like completely unaware of his feelings and it just adds to the mystery about you like imagine him sitting with the marauders by the black lake and him picking at a flower being like “she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not” and then him being all sad and pouty once the petals are all gone and he was left with ‘she loves me not’ :(( but  n e  ways - this was so cute and so masterfully written and i just love everything this author puts out so do not be surprised if you see at least one of their works on every single one of my hp fic rec lists >:))

misunderstandings by @imagineitup

oof this one really played with my heart! you know those fics where someones feelings are painfully obvious and you just want the other person to finally realize so they can both be put out of their misery and then go on to have this cute relationship BUT NONE OF THAT CAN HAPPEN UNTIL THEY COME TO THE REALIZATION THAT THEY ARE CAPABLE OF BEING LOVED!!! i love those fics and this is one of them :)))

thats all for my recs! sorry this ones so short - ive been drifting in and out of life, and school has been hard for me. there was a lot more to this list but a lot of my favorite writers have left tumblr so i dont have as much to share w yall 😔and theres obviously so many more amazing writers out there, im just sharing what i know! i’m thinking of just finishing up the other fic rec lists i have and then im going to move over to anime recs! ive been obsessed w haikyuu lately and theres a lot of fics i want to share with others - so if you guys don’t stick around for that i totally understand - but don’t worry im not making that switch till much later ✌🏼love you all so much! hope you’re all taking care of yourself, but dont worry if you’re not, its always a process so don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get stuff done and make sure to celebrate what you do get done! congratulate yourself when no one else will, and remember i’ll always be in your corner cheering you on! 

happy reading!

- love, hari !!

[samnyangie]

Personal reviews on RSL filmography

Rsl, iI thought it’d be a good idea to record my thought on each films rsl was in, it was something I always wanted to do...

Rsl in total, was starred in (excluding tv series etc) 27-ish films, to be honest, considering his years as an actor(approximately more than 30 years) he wasn’t starred in that many. We all know why lol

Just saying I’m not a film expert, therefore the list is very subjective.

The reviews with trigger warning (r*pe, g*re etc): Tape, Killer: Journal of Murder, A glimpse of hell. Tho in the writing I’ve censored them with * since I don’t feel comfortable saying them here

There isn’t particular spoilers except for dps, tape, and ground control

The favourites (literally my life time films)

Dead Poets Society

I assume many would agree, and as many would have, it was my first ever rsl film, like I was on the plane and it was one of the films they offered, and I was like, oh I think i heard of this, so I watched and instantly loved it. The message is very relevant to this day, the cinematography is very beautiful and somehow nostalgic. I was horrified with Neil’s death. Tbh now I’ve seen too many memes and all kind of things from the fandom (which I’m grateful for!) I thought the heartfelt I once had would deluded a bit, however when I watched it again last April with my family at the cinema and it still moved me very deeply.

The age of Innocence

Okay, unpopular opinion here, I love this so much. It’s my all time favourite rsl film. It even outruns dps tiny winy bit haha. Aside from how he had tiny winy screen time, appearing at the end but the fact that he played quite an important role and him being gorgeous in it just<33 I couldn’t help but smiling! It just the whole film was so much of my cup of tea? The melodrama and the hypocrisy hidden by elegance among the upper social classes in 19th century is just what I needed. The more I watch it, the more I understand the characters and their emotions, it’s one of those films you should keep visit to discover the things you weren’t aware of before. I watched it again this morning and i couldn’t stop thinking about it. However, I know some people find it boring and I understand why, my sister is one of them lol(except for a bit where rsl was in) but i think it’s more complex than what it appears to be at a first glance haha. In conclusion, it became one of my comfort film to watch time to time. 

The ones I like<33

Swing kids

At first viewing, I didn’t expected much because it had underwhelming reviews but when I actually saw it, I thought it was quite decent and more and more I watched it, I felt like it was underrated. Yes, I think some directing choices were bit old fashioned and cheesy especially the ending, I’m not saying it was a perfect masterpiece but it deserves more recognition than it has now. Also in spite that there’re some parts being too simplified, it touched on something other films about ww2 normally don’t. It was interesting to see the German perspective on it than Jewish or the allies perspective like many of them does, but of course the latter perspectives matter, it could be argued that they more valid than the former, which partly was where sk criticised for, however, the portrayal of the varied reactions of the German people (in this one particular the teenagers) has its value in their on way. Anyway along side with it, the music and the dance scenes were great, without exaggeration, though Swing kids isn’t my fav, peter’s solo dance scene is my favourite scene in any movies I’ve ever watched. I mean that scene had both visuals and meaning as it demonstrated Peter’s determination as well as resentment with a hitch of unsureness. Rsl acting in that scene was just phenomenal, it’s not about showing off the dancing skills but he portrayed every mixed emotions peter has from his expression and the moves, I just can’t talk about this enough especially this scene was the reason I started fallen for him. lol

Much ado about nothing

Much ado is something I never seen anything like so it was a refreshing exprience. I barely watched Shakespeare on screen kind of thing. Though I felt there were some bits too cheesy for me but they are also the charms in the same time, and the cinematography was pretty also Claudio aka rsl, it was like an official announcement of declaring my worship on this man. Especially it was after SWING KIDSSSS so I couldn’t help it now everyone knows how I fallen for him but no one can blame meeeeee Anyway, it’s a really good film to watch when you want be relaxed with cup of tea maybe hehe

In the gloaming

I heard about it before I watched it, that it’s a heart wrenching, tearful piece, though I didn’t managed to cry, it’s just.... painful and in a way heartfelt. I liked that story telling was calm and collected rather than forcing you to join the sob party, just showing the characters to carry on. And thanks to the great acting from the cast, the characters could be emphasised and understood, personally the older sister was the most relatable character for me, well, eldest complex lol. In short I liked it but it’s not something I would watch it often.

Last days of Disco

As a person who looks at aesthetic in films, I simply enjoyed this for that tbh. I don’t know, I just liked the feeling. But I don’t think it’d be everyone’s cup of tea. I love the day time clothes the girls wore in the film. Tbh I love the music too, I think I love all the films of rsl with music in it. Speaking about rsl, oh rsl, he’s.... His character might be bit unlikable but he was just.... This is why I can’t unlove his characters even the debatable ones<33

They were decent! (I would recommend it)

Married to it

This is the first and last ever attempt of rsl of romcomssss The film itself is cliche to be frank it’s like love actually but it’s about marriage life + it’s not christmas but I like heartfelt cliche stories like this, if anyone also loves this type of story, it’s really worth watching, it’s one of my comfort films, also, rsl is so pretty I mean he always is but to see him being a office man with a baby face made me go awww my baby grew up heheh I wish he did another romcom like this or more preferably, melodramatic romance, I’d have made a shrine of it and worship it every morning lol

The boys next door

I kind of smiled while watching it throughout, if you want something that is heartfelt and touch on some serious topic about social workers and the people with mental disorder, Rsl plays a character who has (I think it was) Schizophrenia and troubled relationship with his father(Deja vu I know) but general atmosphere tend to be quite humourous. I don’t get me wrong, though it’s light hearted, it doesn’t mean they treat the topic in the same way. There’s a scene where the protagonist imagining the one of the characters with the disorder talking eloquently and honourably at the court on the rights and the dignity of the people with mental disorders deserve to/should have and they’re just the same people as the people without mental disorders. It was a powerful scene.

My two loves

Rsl’s first ever screen debut film! Hehe it’s about a woman who is discovering her sexual identity and the conflicts within I personally thought it was fairly sensible depiction but I can’t say for sure whether it was accurate or else, since I don’t think it’s my place to say it:) But if you’re interested, it’s on YouTube, you can just search for it or go to this post I made. Fun fact: since it was his debut film, it credits him as he’s real name, Robert L. Leonard, I just find it amusing haha

Tape

It’s another type of film I don’t encounter that often, I enjoyed it, especially with Neil and Todd’s reunion lol. Rsl mentioned how he enjoyed it because it felt like doing a play, my first impression was that the structure is like a play, though the camera work made me quite dizzy haha. But the dialogues, the acting, I think it was quite spot on. Especially the human contradictions and hypocrisy side of it. The most people assume the baddie in the film is Jon the character rsl played and has a distaste for him. I mean how can anyone love a character who is accused of r*pe but to be honest, Vincent for me seemed just as problematic, both of them are hypocrites for sure in their own different ways but in the end we can’t be sure what’s really the truth or not. It’s about the vagueness, and phychology and the uncertainty from the audience on who to believe(well, myself included, most would trust on Amy’s claims since she’s the victim in the accusation, but by her denying the claims, making everything way unclear,) so I don’t know. I don’t really have an opinion haha tho I don’t believe nothing happened because Amy denied so, even Umma Thurman who played her, said that her interpretation was that Amy lied. I felt it’s endless rabbit hole this film. Sorry I couldn’t worded it better.

My best friend is a Vampire

It’s cringey and weird but there’re odd charm to it. Vampire rsl’s so cute as well.... and I think it’s the only film, he acted kind of flirty ? So for that itself I’d like to appreciate itttt And it’s so 80s/90s, like it has general odd nostalgia like all films from that age has. I saw a Korean blog about rsl films and this was mentioned, that- they said- it’s a bible of rsl’s adorableness and I think that sum up the film perfectly.

Mr&Mrs Bridge

Before this was in ‘I mean it was fine” category, but I watched it again and now I want to retract my statement lol Still isn’t my fav but I noticed how delicately depicted each characters are, Mr and Mrs Bridge in particular. This film is alternatively about the changes in the young generation regarding liberty, feminism, free expression especially on sex. It’s in the perspective of the bridges, the mother and father who is old fashioned and conservative (as it was normal in their previous generation) and the children who are the young generation, and the misunderstanding and conflicts between them. After all it all happened not only because of the difference but also the lack of communication, which rsl emphasised in his interviews. I found it interesting that they made it seems like the Bridges truly existed with the video footage and (with the ending) describing what happened to each family member in text with photos. When I watched it at first I was really confused if it was based on a real life. I think what they wanted to suggest was that the Bridges every typical American family at the time. It was something everyone was going through. I said previously I didn’t get why Rsl’s character (the youngest in the Bridges) treated his mother so coldly. Honestly I do get why, but I guess I felt so bad so the mother haha

I mean it was fine

The safe passage

It was okay but to be honest it didn’t stood out to me. It was okay. The story, the characters weren’t that interesting. I wish they extended it longer to go depth with their family relationship or something.

A painted house

I find it likeable, it has a chill, old folk story vibe, but same as previous one. it didn’t really stand out except for shirtless rsl, do close ups you cowards

Bluffing it

I was really fond of the premise of this film and I think it has great intention. It was specifically made to promote the awareness of illiteracy and how to get support. However, I don’t get the reason of Jack the protagonist’s illiteracy. Unless, it was common occurrence in America at the time, I feel like it’d have been more convincing if he was in poor family hood, so there was no time to learn at school due to working at young age...? I mean, just finding it hard to believe he passed the high school just like that, I mean the teachers or anyone should have noticed it, maybe I’m missing something here but it seemed unlikely to me.

Ground control

Again, I liked the message, as it depicted how frightening and difficult job the ground controller is, by one mistake could take away the lives of hundreds, especially as someone who goes on planes a lot... But it was quite cliche throughout, I just couldn’t get engaged to it. But I do admit at the end when the protagonist runs off to the landing zone see the pilot who he had just saved, they acknowledged each other and have eye contacts was truly wholesome. Rsl as cocky, bad boy was such a icing on the cake, I loved it so much. Chewing gum in every scene lol I hope he plays these sort of characters more often. I saw someone criticising him saying he has narrow spectrum of just playing nice boy roles like Neil but I really wanted to debunk the narrative and this could be one of the examples! 

Chelsea walls

I knew that this has split reviews but nonetheless I think worth to watch it, 1. Ethan and rsl re union, 2. Ethan is the directer of the film and rsl sing in it. But I have to say, it’s one of those hard to follow art indie film so I couldn’t finish it on one go. I feel like I have to devour it over and over again. Maybe later on I grow fond of it more lol But his character, I loved him so much. He’s just has everyone don’t touch me, I’m a cocky artist vibe, there’s a scene where his annoying friend annoying him and he looks up and says: ‘Fck off’. Absolute golddddd not to mention he sings and plays guitar so beautifully<333

Well... it’s not my cup of tea

The Manhattan project

I don’t think the film it self was that bad, it’s about high school boy who find out the existence of some nuclear energy research lab and stole the energy to make his own nuclear bomb. I just don’t get the thinking process of the protagonist. It really frustrated me. He seemed apathetic and unlikable I disliked him throughout and that’s why I didn’t really enjoyed it. I mean it has humour and ridiculous storyline might be humorous to some. But more importantly there was such little screen time for rsl!! LIKE WHY? WHY PEOPLE?? HE LOOKS LIKE A FRESH HUMAN MOCHI!!! It makes me soooo mad to think about it

Killer: Journal of Murder

Well, first of all, it had a lot of graphic things than I imagined, brutally murd*red bodies, execution, and r*pe scene, gosh I was strucken by it when I saw that, I had to skipped that scene. It’s based on a real event and a real criminal called Carl Panzram, so if you’re aware of it, it might be more intriguiging to see. But personally for me... meh, I don’t think directing was good as it failed to portray it enough for me to comprehend fully.

A Glimpse of Hell

This is also based on a true event of a tragic accident in the us battleship in Iowa in 1989. They shows tragedy lin a blunt, brutal way by showing horribly damaged bodies of the soldiers torn into pieces, all the horrid things directly so be warned about that. I was quite alarmed because i didn’t expect to see it haha there’s no much to say. The film quality was so so for me. I feel their approach wasn’t appropriate, they were clearly trying to make it dramatic which is fine but in a melodramatic emotional way. It didn’t work because first, there aren’t enough portrayal of the characters for me to get attached, secondly it added the unnecessary exaggeration it prevented me from being emotionally involved or even to think about it. In my opinion, I think it’d have been better if they made it more restrained, dry, focus on the accuracy. For example like 1987 or Zodiac, I mean both of them has dramatic elements since they’re not a documentary but they were not overdone, in a contrary added emphasis to their message/conclusion. I know it’s easier said than done but it was something I consistently felt during it.

Sir.... I’m sorry but-

Standoff

Haha... it’s very peculiar... the directing is off and it just weird. I knew it was bad already but I watched it because rsl as a cop with gunssssssss just... so rare and just.... something else. There’s no way of me missing that seriously. Tbh him doing an action stunt isn’t what I imagine when it comes to him and there’s really any actions scenes anyway but it really was something. Like the character he played here really became my soft spot Hehehehe he was pretty and plus, tbh it’s kind of film I’d make fun of while watching so everything was (alomst) forgivable. There is a recent thing I think about, since this is about a cult, I kind of hope he’d at some day play a role like Eli Sunday from There will be blood: a manipulative, deceitful and maddened priest with twisted faith. Though Paul Dano did a grand job, the idea was in my head the whole time. Well, it’s a shame he wasn’t any of those here lol

Driven

From what I seen, the majority of people seem to unanimously hate this film, and after watching it I became one of those ppl. At least Standoff could be make fun of and rsl held gunssss but this...... I want to say so many things... I feel like they should have chose either fancy, fast paced, thrilling racing film or detailed depiction of emotions/relationships with the racers and people involved in it, I know both can be done, but I think that was outside of their ability, but since they tried to do that at once, it became a mess that doesn’t go either way. And the characters, any of them, including rsl’s are narrow or impossible to understand. I mean rsl did great himself, it was not about acting, the problem lies on the script and editing in my opinion. Also there were so many unnecessary characters made me question of their existence. Luckily rsl’s character isn’t one of them, however because of them, he had to squeeze in and unable to elaborate, which is a shame as he was an interesting character and someone rsl rarely plays; a arrogant and opportunist agent/brother of the protagonist, who would do anything for success... ha.... whyyyyy

This is it. If I watch other stuff I might add to it in the future. Overall, I know I’m biased but I do like His filmography, I do have appreciations in every one of them in different way to the good ones to bad. He may have disagree, but I love his acting on screen, well, I barely seen him on stage (crying)

Edit: as some of you could see, I’ve edited this over and over again haha elaborating on thing or the contrary. I can say with a glimpse of hell I practically managed to watch every rsl films out there lol except for the i inside and the short film he did called a dog race in Alaska. But with the former I’m not interested and already know the storyline, and the latter is just impossible to find, trust me I did my best;; 

So to sum up: I HAVE MASTERED THE RSL FILMOGRAPHY!

[sunsetsover]

Just hopping on the anons last week who said they'd done reading around BPD and Ben etc after reading your posts to say... when Whitney told Ben he makes everything about himself in this week's eps I immediately thought of you! Like lemme explain lmao I remember last year you wrote about how lots of fans said Ben was making everything about him when him and Callum had that argument about the warehouse job in Sept.? And you wrote about how you viewed it and how looking at Ben through a lense of mh goes a different interpretation etc. Idk Whitney saying that just made me recall your thoughts on the fandom saying the same thing lmao.

(although tbh I didn't think Whitney was v fair saying that anyway bc how was he meant to know Callum had witnessed a stabbing etc?? He wasn't making it about himself he was simply worrying about the info he had access to???)

no joke i literally thought the exact same thing after i watched it yesterday. not the post (tho i do remember what you're talking about!) but i was like 'oh ben's behaviour is VERY bpd' like probably the most obvious example we've had since 2019 maybe and then i was like man.... how many people are going to have Bad Takes abt ben's behaviour and how he's 'selfish' and then i was thinking abt what whit said and it reminded me of something i heard once and i've tried to find it but i can't and i'm gutted bc it made so much sense but it was abt how bpd are often viewed as selfish or making everything abt us but we do that bc we literally feel like everything IS because of us/our fault. it's literally a Symptom. like when you're hypersensitive and terrified of everyone abandoning you EVERYTHING feels personal.

like someone's in a bad mood? clearly i have done something to put them in a bad mood. someone doesn't reply? clearly they hate me. you smile at someone in public and they don't smile back? clearly they can sense something is Wrong with me and didn't want to engage. either that or they think i'm hideously ugly. that's the default assumption, that it's somehow something to do with me. not that they're going thru their own shit or that they're busy or tired. and then when we're talking abt someone you're close too, the fear of abandonment comes into play where you either start to push them away bc you're convinced they're gonna leave anyway or frantically do things or change things to help convince them to stay, and both of these can go very extreme. and ofc it's not logical but we can't help it. i'm always saying this to people in my life: i know how i'm feeling/what i'm doing isn't logical and it doesn't make sense, but i literally can't help it. it's like the sensible you is locked in the back of your brain forced to witness all of your own bs but they're literally powerless to do anything about it.

which is also why i can understand under the hysteria of your own fear of abandonment and hypersensitivity why ben could convince himself callum was gonna leave him for whitney. like ofc i get why ppl would find that unrealistic and offensive, but i can't NOT see him as bpd, and when you have bpd that fear of abandonment is so so incredibly pervasive that you start thinking things like that and convince yourself that they're real. like you genuinely believe them. and someone of sound mind is like 'that doesn't make any sense, he's gay' but like.... that almost is irrelevant to a certain degree. your own belief that you're so unlovable and that everyone is going to leave you holds SO much weight in your mind, more than even reality itself.

like you could almost compare it to hallucination. reality and logic dictates that it's impossible for there to be a man crawling on the ceiling, but if you can see it and hear it and feel it then ofc you're going to believe it's real. reality and logic become irrelevant bc you KNOW it's there, even though it isn't, u know? it's the same kind of thing: reality says ofc callum isn't gonna propose to whitney when he's married and literally gay, but that all-consuming fear of abandonment is so much louder when it says 'he's lying, he's sneaking around w his ex, he's not talking to you about anything, he's got a ring, ofc he's gonna propose to her, she didn't ask him to quit his job or force him into a position where he had to lie for months, ofc he was gonna leave, he just married you out of pity, this is all your fault, you don't deserve happiness or love bc you're a bad person lmao what did you even expect?' etc u know

if i'm being completely honest if i were in ben's shoes i could EASILY see myself being convinced my gay partner is gonna leave me for their ex of the opposite sex. like worryingly easily. and tbh between that and what was going on with kheerat, i actually think he coped surprisingly well. like i genuinely thought that yesterday that if i was in his situation i probably would have reacted much worse and been in much worse a state than he was. and i'm not just saying that, i think his growth since 2019 is obvious in how tame his reaction to it all was tbh.

i realize probably no one will bother but if anyone really is interested and wants to understand more then u should watch this video. i've timestamped it at the first point bc if nothing else u should listen to that bc it helps explain what i've said in a much better way esp the example abt clearing out the garage but the whole video is really good and i would love for some ppl to watch it. like i know it's half hour and that's a long time and also the interviewer is obnoxious and p insensitive but the doctor herself is really good and explains everything i've been trying to explain in a MUCH better way than i ever could and i think it will really help you understand what it's like to be someone bpd and what it actually means for day to day life

like i realize i've completely gone off on one w this and im sorry but i have opinions and i just want people to understand you know?? not necessarily for ben as a character but for all the ppl out there w bpd bc !!!! no one gives a fuck abt us they just misunderstand us and then do literally nothing to try and understand us when we try to explain ourselves so to have ppl actually engaging in this dialogue w me makes me very excited and i try to explain as much as i can while i have the opportunity u know lmao so i very much appreciate you and getting messages like this thank you 💞💞💞

[delusionland]

STEPHCASS FOR THE MEME <3

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

here is my personal hc. tim told cass about a girl. he didn’t tell her anything about the girl, just that she was woefully unprepared to be a crimefighter... but also she was kinda cute, in a totally naive way (90s tim was kind of an asshole, never forget). cass couldn’t quite understand what he was saying while he showed her the batfile on her---the picture of the spoiler, etc. but she got his general tone and body language. cass then sought steph out. for nights. nights looking for the spoiler. when she found her---she tackled her, immediately engaged her in a fight. she went so, so easy on her. she just wanted to see what a cute girl was. and steph... was definitely a cute girl. at the time, cass couldn’t talk, couldn’t communicate with her. but she left her a gift. a nice knife that she had throw at her head---deliberately missing it, that was... especially ornate, and seemed shiny and valuable, and most of all purple to match her costume. pretty purple girls like pretty purple things, right?

What was their first impression of each other?

steph probably did not think well of cass, at first. after that first outing---the batfamily got involved. cass was to help steph with her fighting. steph was to help cass with her speech. without the mask on---steph could see how much cass enjoyed her company. it was hard not to realize she had a sense of humor about everything. the laughter she had exhibited on a still-baby-at-the-time spoiler screaming her head off about what she thought was some kind of demon-ninja batgirl was... genuine, and not malicious in the slightest. she seemed to want to be friends, and every time steph frowned at her, or was a sore loser, cass simply smiled and laughed harder, finding everything steph did perfectly amusing. as they got to know each other---cass got better at talking, and steph got better at fighting, and they kind of, met somewhere on the outer edges of the middle for a while. there was always something standing between them--though. a resentment, not between them, but a misunderstanding. that cass belonged to bruce and the bat. and steph belonged to tim.

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

i feel like conner kent at the very least shipped it. alfred really thought there was a spark between them, and during their brief frenemy stage---alfred made sure steph knew cass genuinely cared for her. bruce did NOT want them to get together at all, though. neither did tim, for obvious reasons.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

cass. it was love the first time steph managed to punch herin the face. did she win? no. but she GOT her. and through that tenacity, cass realized that her friend was so much more than a silly, pretty girl. she was a fighter. she was a champion. and more than anything, she was brave, and determined, and they had practiced a thousand times for just this moment. and afterwards, steph was just so proud of her overall failure instead of being herr typical loser.... cass couldnt help but know steph was always going to be the love of her life.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

they both did! didn’t want to ruin the friendship!

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

cass would get a curious look, steph wouldn’t believe you!

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

they would be a lot worse, a lot lonelier. steph never would’ve become batgirl, that’s for sure, and cass would’ve learned to speak---but in a way entirely removed from her own personality and love of herself & life.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

it was a mutual thing in ocean city, maryland. they were in a photo booth, sitting in eachother’s laps, leg over leg, they did a silly face, and then another silly face, and then their faces were so close---and then SMOOCH CITY, and they WOULD NOT LEAVE THE BOOTH lol.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

they considered ocean city their first date. but they’re not really the ‘dating’ types. they both LOVE to fight. they both LOVE to crime fight. they both LOVE spending time together doing NOTHING. if anything, the first time cass had to go to a gala with her was the first time they realized---ugh, do we REALLY have to be WAYNES? do we really have to have REAL LIVES? why can’t we stay in our cuddle - asskicking bubble forever?

What was their first kiss like?

it was the most natural possible thing, and it was something they had both almost had so many times before that it was like drowning in sensation after you had subsisted off of gerbil-cage drips of water for years. they couldn’t stop! they were consumed with want, and they only stopped when they started to get a little TOO frisky and somebody moved the curtain of the booth because they wanted to get their own picture taken and they were like ‘fuck! okay lets get french fries!’ lol

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

steph is cass’s first gf, and vice versa.

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

cass is 5′7″ JUST tall enough to be taller than her gf >: )

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

cass will kill the puzzler or whatever the fuck his name is. he sucks. steph’s mom loves her tho :’ ) and well. the less said about bruce and steph the better, but like. your whole blog is proof of how much the rest of the batfam loves steph!

Who takes the lead in social situations?

they both are the ‘HAHA! THE ECONOMY!’ gif tbh.

Who gets jealous easier?

cass. steph is special cargo, the first girl / person she ever loved romantically, the first friend she ever had. however, cass has made it very publically known she wants threesomes with other hotties of multiple genders.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

CASS CASS CASS.

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

steph, and she agonized over it, only for cass to say it so easily in a way cass didn’t think it would ever be easy for her to say. like steph is some magical fairy tale princess that lifts the curse on cass to never be able to express love the way love is supposed to be expressed. steph just makes things easy. she makes everything easy.

What are their primary love languages?

TOUCH. GAMES. QUALITY TIME. GIFTS.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

they both do they’re TERRIBLE.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

batgirl and the black bat are forced on seperate patrols bc they do this so much and they HATE it and SNEAK OUT and kiss ANYWAY!

Who initiates kisses?

cass!

Who’s the big and little spoon?

cass is big spoon!

What are their favorite things to do together?

they really like watching wrestling and kung fu movies together i think. steph also likes girly movies, but cass gets bored after a while and just starts wrestling with her over the popcorn and then wrestling leads to hankypanky. most of all they love fighting and dancing AND PLAYING PRANKS on the bat boys.

Who’s better at comforting the other?

cass is.

Who’s more protective?

CASS IS.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

physical affection.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

jenny - studio killers

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

they both call each other batgirl affectionately, cass also learns new words to say girlfriend and sweetie all the time and uses those.

Who remembers the little things?

STEPH.

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?

they COMPETE to see who will do it first. they use the batcave to make sure the other isnt going to look for rings. and when they find the other one shopping for rings. its fucking GO-TIME BITCH. you’re not going to propose to me, i’m going to propose to you! when they pop out the boxes at the exact same time, cass steals the ring from steph’s hands and holds it up over her head and throws hers at steph’s head like ‘YOU HAVE TO MARRY ME FIRST. NO TAKEBACKSIES.’

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

it’s a big wedding. cass loves, loves people. it’s a whos-who, especially since cass is gonna be batman and she has all the justice league contacts now. cass turns a bit into a bridezila, but like, as a joke, mostly, and she calms down when steph is like ‘i thought we could be more intimate...’ lol

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

they adopt some bratty street kids that are tangentially related to joker / black mask / puzzler / lady shiva as a fuck you. they love their kids so much.

Do they have any pets?

so many cats. a million cats.

Who’s the stricter parent?

cass.

Who worries the most?

steph.

Who kills the bugs in the house?

cass.

How do they celebrate holidays?

they go to concerts!!!! big loud concerts where they can mosh!!!

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

cass! no school! just cuddles!

Who’s the better cook?

steph. cass doesn’t know how to, and also refuses to, fry an egg.

Who likes to dance?

cass most of all!

[obeymematches]

Well, hi, can I ask for a match up? I'm bad at describing myself, but let's go... I'm an (pretty accurate) aquarius, INTP-T. I'd say I'm a reserved person that enjoys being alone most of the time, and can be really lazy when it comes to do (almost) anything, but I really enjoy helping people with their struggle and I'm a pretty empathetic person; so mostly I'd take everyone's pain and try to find a simple and fast solution to everything. I'd say I'm a pretty distant person and a huge day dreamer, I like to research about things in general and I'd say I'm a pretty "wit" person, since I tend to discover things by myself and have a pretty curious side. I enjoy reading, playing video games, watching anime, drawing, writing, listening to music and (rarely) hanging out with friends. I'd say I'm not the kind of person who says "I love you" a lot, I'm more a person of showing through actions. I can get pretty flustered when someone openly compliment me or say something sweet/flirt with me, and I'll mostly (try to) act chill and give a sharp response (flirting back, with a huge blush in my face) or just become all flustered and melt in the person's arms. I'll mostly treat my partner as a really close friend, since I'd say I'm not a romantic person, but I'm REALLY cuddly and love to just spend the time hugging them in the bed or receiving a nice rub in the head. I'm really into intimal moments such as reading together or just chilling together, and I'll mostly show my funny and random side to my partner. I can become really talkative and talk about a subject for HOURS, so I'd like of someone who talks back and listen to everything I say. I'd say I'd like to have a partner with similar tastes to mine, and that is into doing anything with me most of the time. I respect a lot my partner individuality and will not act jealous most of the time, so I'd like to have a protective, but not easily jealous partner. I'm also a moody and sarcastic person sometimes, and can get into real depressed periods so I'd like a partner who would support me through this times, of course I'd not hesitate to do the same. I guess that's all? I hope I'm not bothering you ^^

Hiii!!! 

sorry for being late;; i hope you like the result though! 

I had to think a lot about your match ...... my first thought was Mammon, then I thought about Leviathan, then I remembered that Satan also exists... I can’t really decide on one person tbh. 

ok I’ll write about Leviathan!

Okay so here it goes

Being a bit reserved isn’t going to be an issue for Leviathan; if anything it just slows down the process of establishing a relationship. We all know he isn’t known for his confidence to make a move so the two of you are going to be best friends until a third party decides to stir things up between the two of you. true love waits tho!!!! 

The fact that you are a bit lazy is ok for Levi, I mean he does not value you based on your productivit!! its the friendship that matters!!! staying up all night binge watching anime is much better anyways so who cares honestly

Oh Leviathan can talk pretty badly about himself but pls do not take his monologues too seriously - most of it is just exaggerated by him. Maybe if you could tease him or talk to him about it, that would help the situation? 

 The fact that you are curious is fantastic, that means you wouldn’t judge Levi’s taste in anime!! 

Well your bestfriend Levi would love to hang out with you at least 3 times a week if not more so hopefully 😔 that “rarely” will disappear from before “hanging out” 😔 like he likes being alone too but he also likes being with you. decisions. 

oh you could fluster him to death with your acts of love, not kidding. I don’t think Levi would believe anyone that they loved him even if they literally said to him in person that they love him (can you still follow me here is this a coherent sentence) but when you keep spending time with him??? enjoying his company??? as i said it will take some time for him but eventually he will catch up / he will grow feelings for you before you realize. (it’s just the “acting on it” part that will be delayed a bit) 

oh it will take time for him to get comfortable enough to cuddle often, but once you get there it’ll be high on his priority list!! 

Well it’s canon that he also likes to just. be with someone in the same room. both of you doing whatever. life is good innit!

on the other hand you two could be talking about your interests for hours!! it all just depends on the mood, you know?? 

as you have similar hobbies and interests, you two frequently indulge in each other’s likes! 

oh about jealousy... i think he can be quite easily jealous? so thats a topic to discuss early into the relaionship to avoid misunderstanding, you know? 

[pipsketches]

Now I feel bad cause I have been sending a lot of asks. But I wonder. Your OCs have stories, that much I can tell. But I haven't seen an antagonist on the evil spectrum. So... Which is their story as a whole? Do they have villains or monsters? Or they just have a slice of life based story? Nothing wrong with that but got curious. The only reference I have of what you're doing is the tale they're based on, and I have NOT read or hear the whole thing.

No one else is asking so it’s free real-estate! Lol. I also don’t mind.

I’m using Journey to the West pretty much the same way Dragonball did (ridiculously loosely and not meant as an actual adaption) so even if you did, it wouldn’t matter to much.

I definitely don’t have to many evil characters. I like having characters go against each other because of circumstance, misunderstandings, opposing views, or a character’s selfish desire.

The few I have are character’s based on Mythological characters

Yama who is more evil in the “We don’t interfere with mortals” type God characters. In mythology, and other media, he is portrayed both as super evil and just a guy with a job that stresses him out but he is doing his best. I want a middle ground between the two. He’s a death God and resides in Naraka (Buddhist/Hindu’s version of hell which works a little differently from western’s version) and is in charge of choosing who gets punished and who doesn’t so I totally get why he s portrayed that way. So my version is more of guy who makes shitty choices but isn’t trying to be malicious.

Lilith who I am tweaking she was mostly based the biblical Lilith but I want to add elements of Mara’s daughters to her character. Although all of them are evil and have the shtick of tempting people or just fucking them over. Which I am keeping her around for. I do like the element of also just being pissed about having her babies killed and being asked to submit to Adam but idk how that will work with Mara’s mythology.

Mara (who I haven’t spent to much time on tbh) is basically the embodiment of evil in the mythology and that’s what I’m probably gonna keep him as.

Lily is like a demon witch who takes elements from Kurukulla who isn’t evil all the way either. She is said to be an enchantress and is a witch who helps people but also smites or messes with people for no reason. Which I’m keeping for Lily she’s evil more in the “I’m immortal and bored why not make some mess every now and then?” kinda way. Her tiger is like her familiar so he’s evil by association I guess.

Amier’s dad is just evil just the most bigoted asshole. Amier’s brother is more in the internalized hate that then gets taken out on others type evil. With Amier himself his “evil” is more “I know what my family is doing is wrong but I’m scared of them” which debatable on how evil that is. He is secretly plotting their demise with his buddies tho so they’re more in the gray because they are staying complicit with actions in the name of biding their time. Arylide is the main plotter and in part is doing some of it for her own gain and is more comfortable with some of the messier shit that comes with it like backstabbing and murder so theirs that.

Zane & Akina are probably more traditional villains with being a duo that wants to bring out an evil entity and cause chaos. 

Tayori I think is more gray kinda just doing whatever is convenient for him and having everyone distrust him cuz he’ll do you dirty if he has to.

Mach and Rei are just dumb and make poor decisions which ends up with them being at each other’s throats and will probably have a Naruto/Sasuke Adora/Catra moment or two.

Sunny is also in the “will do shit out of self interest or misguidedness” camp but she is generally a good person

My saint is more lawful evil or ends justify the means type which puts her at odds with the a lot of characters but again debatable on the evil thing

This group is more antagonistic to each other. They’re squabbling royalty tho so that is not so great for their people. None of them are trying to destroy anything in particular just kind of gain power or fuck each other over for clout.

The last group is more honorable mention for the exception of “dragon monkey” (haven’t given him a name yet) he is straight up manipulative and conniving. 

Jampa being one of the characters that gets manipulated by him. He does bad shit out of misguidedness, selfishness, and just fuckboy shit.

Oshi also kinda gets manipulated by “dragon monkey” and does things out of misguided desires but he isn’t trying to hurt anyone necessarily.

Menaka and Sandy do/did stick around Oshi for some stuff but they themselves aren’t evil. Sandy is down for a good rebellion and petty theft though

That’s how I’ll leave it! Cuz this is already longer than I thought it was gonna be sorry lol