#tbh ive been feeling like this lately
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what an idiot
#tbh ive been feeling like this lately#like someone beated the shit and everything else out of my head now heres just nothin#postal#postal dude#redswa draws
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uh saw and Hannibal crossover...
plus some extra sketches.. I had a lot more stuff sketched but these are the only ones I liked unfortunately.
plus the first one without the text , cause it covers most of the background and I liked how it came out
#saw#saw franchise#sawposting#saw v#mark hoffman#peter strahm#hoffstrahm#coffinshipping#hannibal fanart#hannibal nbc#hannibal#hannibal lecter#will graham#hannigram#saw fanart#tw blood#tw injury#idk how to feel about these tbh#might do more .... if i feel like it idk#sorry ive been doing so many crossovers lately
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moments it actually feels like the hrt is working
#ive been feeling lately like i look more like a woman with a beard than a man with makeup on#but sometimes that shifts.. the chest hair helps a lot tbh
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a beta reader left a comment on my manuscript that was basically:
"this story is a waste of my time."
and it's like....
i have thick skin and all, since i've been working with beta readers for a long time, but...
ouch.
thanks, i guess. helpful.
#like#alright?#tbh beta readers have been driving me nuts lately#finding good ones has been a real headache#bc i specifically tell people im not looking for line edits#and all they do is line edits#i ask them to focus on the plot#and they say yeah ok#but then they do like grammar checks#and its like#this story is in an early draft form#i do not need grammar checks#and i told them that#but no ones listening to that lol#well at least people are kinda trying to be friendly tho#this one particular beta reader#christ#i cant remember where i got her#i doubt its tumblr#the people ive dragged from here have been friendly if not helpful#she feels like#someone i found on reddit methinks#also i dont think her criticisms make sense#like im open to criticisms i really am#ive already changed a lot of my opening stuff#but this particular beta reader man#shes constantly complaining that shes confused but#no one else whos read that section has been confused#i wonder if perhaps#our intelligence is not equivalent
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suggest things im art block…….
#ive been wanting to draw jason but nothings been working#i drew him in roblox freedraw for a friend and thats it….#kicks feet let me know if u wanna see it shuffles#jason todd#tbh feel free to suggest anything ive been blanking lately#kori has also been one ive been wanting to draw but like…. how do poses work#ash’s ramblings#im workin on an oc and her brother but like………… uhg
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hmmmm
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 2#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza 2#yakuza 7#yakuza like a dragon#daigo dojima#masato arakawa#masadai#snap sketches#these were the sketches i was referrin to earlier lmaooo hi#forced myself to finish them cause uhhhhhhh idk#ive been feeling crazy despondent lately everything feels so grey so what better to resolve my woes with :] emo :]#i havent drawn daigo carrying masato nearly enough#its cause i know masato would throw a hissy fit but tbh thats why i should draw him being carried more#ok i have a cringe post to make bye
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Bit down lately and just wish I could bury myself alive but I started therapy. Ahaa. Yay...?
#hugo text#ive been scrolling a lot of tiktok to just get thru the day lately tbh#no longer excited to go to work... im constantly sleeping in... i just feel so tired all the time#ive felt like this for months but its only skyrocketed lately#but. hey. at least im getting. help now...?
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okay fuck it actually heres a drawing from the other day
#probably all ill post maybe idk im not sure tbh…….#scribbles#klonoa#popka#uhh nothing much to say abt this tbh thats why im posting it XD so uh heres some rambling ig#i feel like ive been drawing a lot more oc stuff lately which is cool ig cuz i barely ever draw original stuff#but at the same time it Sucks cuz like. idk theyre some newer ocs i kinda feel weird abt sharing for some reason#like idk i feel like theyre lame 😔 plus im still figuring out a lot of stuff for them so idk maybe thats part of it#uhhh also uh i feel like ive been getting like? actually really fucking good st art ? and like i feel like this every#few months (which is a good thing it means im improving / enjoying how my art looks) but like.. idk it judt feels more legit this time like#idk idk it doesnt really make sense but im having fun with art and thats good#i drew like. seven full drawings yeaterday for artfight im still like . stunned by how i managed to pull that off without having#drawings i ended up hating . like even with some that were an absolute pain in the ass to draw they turned out so cooollllll#okay ill stop rambling now idk what im trying to say
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me thinking about the moment in the movie where leo is fighting krangified raph and he is feeling so much pressure and so much stress and guilt and he is so so scared for his family and for raph especially because he just wants to get raph out safely, he just wants his brother with him and their family unharmed and in one piece, but he can’t get through why won’t raph HEAR him why isn’t raph LISTENING he just wants to SAVE HIM why is he making things SO HARD--
and that is the moment where it finally fully clicks for leo, after all this, where raph was coming from at the start of the movie. that it wasn’t about being stubborn or wanting to call all the shots and be the boss, it wasn’t pettiness or raph being hard on them for no reason. it was always just raph wanting them to be safe, and getting scared and frustrated when doing that was difficult. or when, perhaps, certain stinker lil brothers seemed to be going out of their way to make it difficult.
like he really has that hard stop moment of realization while he’s looking directly at raph... at his own reflection u could say... love that
#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rottmnt raph#rise raph#rise leo#rise of the tmnt#ive seen the interpretation that leo yelling about raph making things so hard is also him sharing his own POV about their dynamic lately?#and i dig that too!#another notch in the ways that honestly they are very similar in motivation tbh#the OH moment!#OH this is why it's been so tense OH this is why raph has been so hardline and irritated when i fly off solo#like after raph was captured leo spent a lot of time kinda bullheadedly larping what he thought raph would do?#bc leo was angry (bc leo was feeling guilty and absolutely terrified)#all the way up to the roof scene where he finally learned his listen to the team lesson (a lesson raph also had to learn in the series)#like it was such a genuine misunderstanding and miscommunication leo is over here doing his best raph but what he THOUGHT raph was doing#and like raph is a great leader while raph is leader! does very well learns and grows ive gone on about that before but#like for all their similarities they are still different people with different strengths so the double whammy of trying to do a raph AND#sincerely not GETTING where raph had been coming from#was a recipe for disaster#and like leo's leadership strengths come through more after the roof scene but this scene is about his relationship to raph#this little moment where he stops himself and has this what am i DOING moment has this no wait i finally GET IT moment#like that's just all i can see when i see that scene; the final breakthrough for leo that makes him able to reach for raph properly#bc he WAS just fighting him before that; and maybe in raphs zombie mind hell that carried over idk
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im so glad no one ever asks me about brushes i use or anything bc i have like 600 and i just keep collecting more like my life depends on it
#ive just been very into 'traditional' looking brushes lately. if it looks like im drawing on paper without needing texture for the canvas#its peak !!!#any textured brush tbh. i feel a little ill when i dont use them#i have brushes that i use the most but thats still like 15 and thats just line art brushes. Im sick in the head
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It's so weird that my head is constantly fighting between itself. It's always "I like this thing regardless of what people say about it since it makes me happy" x "I feel bad about liking this thing because so many people don't like it I end up sad"
Likely something I need to work on tbh. I don't mind people having criticisms or even disliking characters/shows I like I just gotta learn to let myself enjoy it in my own terms
#my silly ramblings i guess#ive been feeling sad about stuff lately#is this about mlb? sort of. but also more.#i always end up liking that one blorbo that the internet hates lmao#its a talent#i need to stop wanting to have groups of people to validade my feelings tbh#if my brain likes something its enough for me#i say pointing at the mirror#lily rambles#delete later#maybe
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be careful what you wish for...
#my brain put 'ill be watching you from the stars' and 'i got what i wanted' together and came up w this#i imagine this would be the night before terri made her change into scary#sorry about this one guys i love angst#expect even more scaries from me soon ive been thinking about and drawing her a lot lately#not the biggest fan of this drawing tbh i feel like i drew her kinda wonky#scary marlowe#scary marlowe fanart#terri marlowe#terry marlowe#dungeons and daddies#dndads#dndads fanart#my art
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hey i just thought you guys should know in case you want to use this info against me for horny reasons that im pretty much always on the verge of tears and it takes little to no effort to make me cry
#me#dacryphilia#especially if im pmsing or on my period which i am rn#actually i have a fucked up cycle and jacked up hormones so theres only like 5 days a month where that doesnt apply tbh#anyways i wanna post something today but i have no backstock photos#and my period and the fact that ive been sick for a week are making me feel not very up for taking pictures of my body#but ive been crying on and off every 2 seconds all day which has me thinking dacryphilia thoughts and i havnt posted much of my face lately#so might take some cute crying videos or something later
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I promise ive been making art, it just hasnt been digital lately! So check out the collages I put on my sketchbook cover.
Ok to RB!
#my art#collage#tbh ive kind of been struggling w/ artblock lately. collage is a fun way to get out of that!#also it certainly doesn't help that they have me working in a different part of the park this year so i cant get as much digital art done#i mean i technically could but like. I feel weird drawing around my coworkers ESPECIALLY selfshipping stuff#i mean most of them are cool but like. it's an internal thing yk?#anyways#look at my art boy
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actually no. I WILL simp post on main. cringe is dead. look at him
#smallant#i keep finding these pictures of him on twitter that make me go feral#that goat one????????????#god i am. getting increasingly less normal about him aren't i. hm#i understand the term brainrot now#the more i think about him the more i feel like i am being burned alive#but hes pretty so like <3 its worth it#what if i started a pictures of smallant blog#what then#tbh i might hshdksgs#ive been taking so many screenshots of his streams lately#there are only like two dozen people on here that consistently look through his tag but i just might
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since you’re doing pokemon, have you ever heard of….
Greyskyshipping, the beloved ship of hugh and nate????
..if you’re fine with drawing that i’d be super happy. don’t have to if you don’t want to though!
GREYSKY SHIPPING YAAY :) they're silly i like them
#realized WAAAY too late that the proportions are absolute dogshit#and the coloring leaves these shitty white lines around everything and its bugging me really bad but its late and im eepy#maybe ill redo this one someday#but anyways!#tbh ive never been super invested in the rivalxprotag ships HOWEVER!!#these two are fuckign great they're so funny together#fucker who is pissed x fucker who cries a lot is a very good dynamic imo#guys who feel so passionately and intensely on complete opposite ends of that spectrum. you understand.#they're cute i like em#my art#digital art#hugh pokemon#nate pokemon#pokemon b2w2#greyskyshipping
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