#tbh at this point i want jo to scream at me

[fandom-hoarder]

Also I'm just gonna take this opportunity to once again whine about how stupid the "Crowley keeps Lucifer out of the cage AND gives him a permanent vessel" storyline was. IDC how many desperate moves Crowley had been making or how much he may want revenge about the forced puppy play thing; it's RIDICULOUS to have the guy that once exclaimed about everyone underestimating the Winchesters---the guy who has already been betrayed over and over by his demons; the guy who already SAW how Lucifer manipulated himself out of the cage and many other traps---to suddenly GIVE HIM A PERMANENT VESSEL JUST TO PATHETICALLY CHAIN HIM UP TOPSIDE AND ATTEMPT HALFHEARTED PUPPY PLAY???

AND I just also have to gripe about all the retconning involved in this stupid fucking storyline, and the "somehow Emperor Palpatine returned" of Crowley saying "I found your old, discarded vessel" --- WHERE? And how did Lucifer not already know about it, since Nick would HAVE to say 'yes' again?!?!

And on THAT note, I FURTHER have to complain about the whole "vessels must somehow survive the angel blade" of Nick surviving Michael killing Lucifer in s13, when that has not at ALL been the case up until then. Like, I guess again if I'm EXTREMELY GRACIOUS it can be excused within the total woo of Crowley fortifying Nick's vessel, but it drives me CRAZY as far as lore sync goes.

But omg, at least Mark P's expressions are his own this whole time, and not an exaggerated caricature like Casifer. At least every time he's on screen I'm not going "OH MY GOD, I WANT TO STAB YOU IN THE FAAAACE! STOP MAKING THAT EXPRESSION! JUST PLAY THE FUCKING CHARACTERRRRRRR!" And same goes for Vinceifer. Even when he has his dramatic tantrum on the stage in Rock Never Dies, I was like, "Notice how he's not doing stupid shit with his face? He's just BEING LUCIFER??" And kiddo was like, "Yes, I do notice actually."

The only Lucifer that rarely feels like Lucifer is Casifer, and everyone that let him do that shit needs a tribunal, tbh.

Of course, we have yet to get to the Lucifer x Sister Jo/Anael portion of our rewatch, at which point I will be screaming about stabbing them both. For now, these exclamations are reserved for Ketch's stupidass face. (but that's not an acting thing I just hate his aesthetic ngl; he has a really punchable face--well maybe it's a little bit an acting thing cuz maybe that smugass look is an affect IDK, but I also don't find him aesthetically pleasing At All and his Thing with Mary makes me gag)

[hbogirls]

riverdale characters as parkey poser performances?

literally no one gets me like my anons. wow. this is major.

okay so cheryl and jason are jackie-o and marty in the house of yes. like whether you believe the incest happened or not, the idea of it is undeniably present. plus, they're twins in a mansion. this one is shockingly one-to-one.

penelope is fiona from josie and the pussycats for sure. childhood trauma that leads her to a life of strange, sad crimes as an adult, crimes that shape the lives of the youth within her reach.

veronica is jo from the daytrippers i think. mostly in-your-face and kind of self-centered and flippant, but when it comes right down to it, she's a good friend and she knows what she wants and what's good for her and the people around her.

really, all of them are libby mae brown from waiting for guffman. they want to leave their town, they know they would be happier and doing bigger things than working at the dairy queen if they were somewhere else, but things just can't align for that to ever happen for real, whether it's mr. guffman not showing up at the big musical or being trapped in pop's forever as a 17-year-old.

alice is meg in best in show. sort of a tense, repressed, strict weirdo who is always on edge and blaming other people for various issues in her life.

fp is mary in party girl because he leads a wild and crazy life but then finds a love for being an upstanding citizen

archie is margaret in clockwatchers because i think she tries to call a strike at some point? tbh i haven't seen this one in years lol

betty is miami in kicking & screaming mostly because (and this is lazy reasoning) i think lili reinhart would kill the 'ding that, skippy' monologue. but also because betty is very capable of a kinda mean vibe

i think reggie might be patricia in you've got mail??? at least in the regular timeline he's kind of a loveably rude, very funny, slightly frustrating presence.

okay i think i'm going to quit while i'm ahead because i can feel my reasoning getting shakier and shakier lmao

[ladymorghul]

Hi, there are a couple of things I'd love to discuss with you and here is the most important one to me. Scene between Alicent and Otto in episode 9 after Aegon was brought to Alicent. I haven't seen people discuss it and I think this moment is so great to analyse. Maybe I am the only one, but Alicent's words 'I wanted whatever you made me want' and that she was a piece he moved as he wished are just so magnificent, that moment of realization, her admitting 'I didn't have a real chance of figuring out what I truly want for myself' just aimed straight to my heart. It's really heartbreaking that she lived a life Otto wanted her to live, no wonder all the anxiety she have experienced in all these years.

And then Otto saying 'I made you a queen' like it was something that in his head every single woman should want, like there was no better place to be, like she should be grateful. He said it in this manner 'Look, you are the queen thanks to me'. I just wanted to scream 'Just because you dreamed of this doesn't mean she also did'. And then I recalled 'Little Women' newest version where Meg tells Jo that just because her dreams are different doesn't mean they are unimportant. Alicent has tried to navigate her life as best as she could, but as Olivia said, she doesn't feel her own heartbeat, she knows she isn't free to live and love as she wants to. But her acknowledging that she has been used for so long it's really liberating, she stood her ground, she said their hearts were never one and I hope in season 2 she will shine as her own person since she expressed she will no longer just silently obey, she will light her own way cause she and Otto reached a point when she simply has enough of being used. I can't help it, to me she is the best written character in the show and also the most interesting one and can't wait to see more of her in season 2.

Sorry for this mini essay, I truly did my best to not make it so long but when it comes to Alicent I fail, maybe if I loved her less I would be able to write about her in 3 short sentences 😅

hey there!

i agree i also liked that scene of her standing up!

tbh in my head it immediately paralleled with the scene from the movie i, tonya, where tonya asks her mother "when i was a kid, did you ever love me?" and her mother says "i made you a champion, knowing you'll hate me for it. that's the sacrifice a mother makes." and tonya just says "you cursed me"

otto is a narcissistic parent. he cares about using others to achieve his own goals but he also cares about making his house achieve power and look good because it reflects back on him.

he is also most likely one of the reason when we meet alicent in the show, she's already self harming.

[abiik]

tae gu + zero concept of personal space + chae yoon being a hands on learner = tender but charged cooking session/lesson

[maximotts]

'*•.¸♡ 𝑀𝑦 𝑉𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠 ♡¸.•*'

I wanted to put a good bit of positivity on my blog to start off my little Valentine's Weekend so, here are my personal loves! It's a bit of a long post, but well.. ya girl's got a big heart and there are so many people who I simply love and admire and I want them to know it.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

@wellsayhelloaagin - You know I'm not great at public displays of affection, but here I am, trying! My darling, my love, every day I wake up and I'm reminded just how lucky I am to be your girlfriend. Thank you for trusting me with your heart and being gentle with mine. Somehow you still love and support me even when I'm at my darkest, lowest points and there's absolutely no way I can ever repay you or tell you how grateful I am- I'll just have to tell you how much I love you every day, forever. I adore you more than words can say and I can't wait to spend the rest of my days right by your side.

@didujustcallmedumb - Honestly you may be asleep whenever this posts, but when you see it please know that I love you endlessly; there's nothing in the world that could make me want to lose a friendship with so much honesty, laughter, and fun. 100% can't wait for your bridal party in the future to take all the worst pictures of us and keep them forever.

@stealth-kittyy - You are just stellar, really and truly. From day one we just clicked so effortlessly and I love the good morning texts and the endless iMessage games that, even though you keep losing in Connect 4, you'll always play with me when I'm sad or need a distraction. I want to give you the biggest hug; never doubt how special you are to me, my emotional cancer bestie!

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

@wandaromanova - We've been friends for so long, you're like family tbh. I think you were my first follower actually which is so fucking wild because I always thought you were like so cool and popular and you just followed me instantly and wanted to be friends, mind-blowing really. You never fail to bring the chaos whenever we talk and I hope you've gotten your little.. cat ... egg.. thingie? I love you soooo much!!

@temptationsbrew - I wanted to talk to you for so long before we actually did and I'm really so happy we both did because you're truly the coolest person ever. You're always there for me when something happens and I always know we can work through stuff together no matter what it is. Also your writing just.. always leaves me speechless; no matter what it is I always want to read it again and again, you're a genuine inspiration!

@tastetherambeau - BESTIEEEEE!!! I love that I can always just pop up to you in caps and start screaming about something, it feeds my soul. And even better, you're always like, my voice of reason and the queen of good boundaries and reminding me that I'm actually worth taking care of myself and being the best person I can be. One day we're gonna hang out and probably just scream a lot about Marvel and I cannot wait.

@twilight-99-tm - Bro honestly I could say so much about you because you're just beyond amazing. You always talk through things with me whether it be fics or life problems and I'm wishing you nothing but happiness with your new little gay relationship, y'all are so cute and I adore you both.

@therunawaykind - Dani you truly are my soft lifesaver; we haven't even been friends for that long, but still you are one of the most intelligent, genuine, and talented people I know. You're somehow always willing to step in when I'm overwhelmed or need to take a break and that's just so wildly invaluable; please know that I will always do the same thing for you when you need me to! I love our long detailed conversations about social dynamics or writing or really just anything, you're the best nerd friend I could ever ask for!

@vancityfire13 - YOU'RE SO COOL, STOP BEING SO COOL!!! I'm still stuck in "oh my gosh Jo wants to be my friend!!" mode really, I can't believe Sammi didn't tell me that y'all were friends earlier because maybe then I'd be able to have been friends with you sooner! But even so, you are so creative and fun and you always check in on me, it's really the sweetest thing. And your puppy is definitely part of the Cosmo conspiracy, I don't know how yet but... somehow

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

And then lastly, I want to give a little note for my server because fuck, you guys are wild, but I guess I love you.. no truly, you always make me smile somehow even after this abysmal week; y'all always find a way. You're all very sweet and kind people in your own ways, but you make me so happy and overjoyed that you give me the opportunity to come in and see whatever weird conversation of the minute is going on. You're all goobers, but you're my goobers and you're very special to me.

[iris-sistibly]

I looked in the mirror and saw an image, not of myself but a different person. I barely know him but he seem to know me very well...more than I know my own self.

“You are the best piece of artwork I’ve ever created,” his voice reverberated inside my head. I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth, “You crazy bastard, I will never be like you!” I snarled at him. 

“Oh but you are now,” he said casually, as if this was a normal thing to say...no, wait--this is a normal thing for him to say, “Have you forgotten what you’ve done?” then he flashed his odd, spine chilling smile. My heart skipped a beat, my body trembled, once again I found myself in that residence, that hellhole I should never have gone to in the first place. Seo Mun-jo’s body lay lifeless on the floor, Ji-eun was unconscious on the dental chair. Drops of sweat mixed with blood trickled down my face and body, I can hear my heart pounding wildly in my chest, my mouth went dry because of dehydration, and my body was shaking from exhaustion. I glanced at my hand holding a knife stained with crimson red liquid, but the blood wasn’t mine. 

Um Bok-sun, the landlady...

Byun Deuk-jong, the man with special needs...

Hong Nam-bok, the pervert...

and Seo Mun-jo, the psychopathic asshole...

It was theirs...but it was my own doing, “I did these...I killed all of them...” that came out as a whisper, the knife slipped from my hand, it made a loud resonating sound as it hit hard on the floor. I palmed my face, “They were murderers!” I said in my mind, “I only did what needs to be done!”

“Exactly why I succeeded,” Seo Mun-jo’s voice echoed in my mind once again. 

I looked in the mirror and saw an image of a man, his emotionless eyes stared deep into my soul, his mouth curved forming an evil smile. I found myself staring at my own reflection, and that’s when I realized he was right all along. I did what I had to, but in the end I fell for his trap. Ironically, I felt free.

Something in me was freed after trying to contain it for so long and it was the most exhilarating feeling I’ve ever felt, my body trembled from post-adrenaline, my heart was pounding wildly from excitement, the stench of blood filled the air, I savored the intoxicating smell, it was way more addicting than alcohol and drugs combined. “So this is how it feels,” I said to myself, I killed the devil and became one myself, it was best feeling ever. 

Then in a blink of an eye, I was back in the hospital once more. I woke up from a trance and realized what I’m becoming. It terrified the shit out of me, but deep inside I wanted more, this bloodlust, the urge to kill excited me. Darkness was looming over, soon it will devour all of me, every piece...every side of my humanity. I frantically shook my head, “No...” I said over and over, but his voice was telling me otherwise. “NO!!!” I screamed, stepped back and bolted out of my room. “Sir! Where are you going?!” the nurse called me but I didn’t dare stop or look back. The hospital staffs went after me, I ran as fast as I could, it didn’t matter where my feet took me, I just knew I had to get out of here. Away from this world...away from myself...

“You are the best piece of artwork I’ve ever created...”

“You and I will be together forever...”

His words kept repeating in my head, “No you son of a bitch!” I yelled and hit my head. He may have lured me into his clutches, but I was determined to fight back, to save anything that was still good in me if I had any. I will never give him the privilege to see me drown into the pool of madness just like him. Gasping for air, I stopped when I reached the rooftop. The chilling breeze caressed my skin, I looked down and saw the busy streets of Seoul, it was so high from where I’m standing. Sky scrapers, street lights and vehicular lights lit up the night. I closed my eyes and remembered the few good years I had, when my life was ordinary. I’ve been longing for that simplicity, but I know I can never have it back.

Then their faces appeared once again, the demons who intended to haunt me for life. Their sinister smiles, their maniacal laughter, their terrifying voices and the never-ending nightmare of that dreadful night I am now imprisoned to, and the only way to get out of it was...

I opened my eyes and looked down once more, what was a pleasant view awhile ago became a dreadful sight. I gripped the railings as tight as I could, part of me says this isn’t the answer, that I can still get out of this and live again.

Can I?

“Oppa!!!” a woman’s voice called me, it was Ji-eun, the only person who kept me sane. The person I want to protect whatever it costs, she was crying, shaking her head, “Please don’t do this,” she begged. 

I wanted to run back into her arms, to apologize to her, to assure that everything will be alright. Then I felt a hand touch on mine, “You and I will be together forever,” Seo Mun-jo stood beside me, still wearing that creepily awful smile of his. His bare hand was as cold as his voice, “Sir please, we can help you! You don’t have to do this!” I heard the doctors and nurses plead as well.

I chuckled and shook my head, I wish it was that easy. I am grateful to the people who are willing to lend a hand, but seeing this bastard’s face made me realize that this is a battle only I can put an end to.

I now know what he meant when he told me that, him and I are one and the same, and as long as I live he too will always exist. I smiled back and flipped my middle finger, “In your fucking delusional mind!” I told him before plunging myself into the unknown.

-

The devil in me by: Iris 

Written from Yoon Jong-u’s point of view

Drama: Strangers from Hell

-

This drama is batshit tbh, and I want to make this fanfiction as dark as possible so I played around with Jong-u’s emotions and what I think he must have felt when realized he became the new Seo Mun-jo. I’m a huge fan of psychological-thriller and mystery genre so I really hope you like this as much as I enjoyed writing this! 

[leftsidebonfire]

This seems to go without saying but I sorta HC all of my OCs as Bi. Tbh I never really think much about their preferences, I just see what happens. But I always try to make characters who wouldn't care one way or another about what their partner is like, so long as they're happy.

Ziona is the notorious flirt, and actually the only people she's successfully flirted with or slept with in canon were actually all females. (Fun fact, my first seduction in dnd ever was with a domination witch and she and Z did it in a cage in front of Zionas party 😅) But Ziona wants to love and be loved. (And she's absolutely smitten with Polnareff. Like. Straight up. Soulmates.)

Jocasta is the definition of Bi panic. She had a big crush on the monk in her party, but when he denied her advances, she agreed to remain friends and it hasn't changed their great friendship ever since. She even ended up marrying Yuro, the fighter after she proposed to Jo after the final battle. She is tough and strong and Jo is a ray of sunshine who is utterly in love with her.

(But also in Jojo Jocasta has her 2 boyfriends Caesar and Joseph 👀😘)

Unaek, well... Unaek is another definition of Bi panic. Violetta has absolutely swept her off her feet. I don't think an OC of mine has EVER been this in love jfrjjdkskdjsjjs. Unaek, my touch starved sweetheart loves anyone and everyone, no matter who they are or what they look like. If Unaek loves you, she will love very purley 💘

ELENI BI QUEEN. Heartbreaking tho. Osiris, who had come to her world as a mentor and friend, had become essentially her first real love. She'd hooked up with people before. As a pirate would and should. But Osiris? She felt safe with him. After he left, she's been torn up. She's not looking for anything yet, as she seems to have a hole in her heart, but before his disappearance, she was in a brothel looking for assistance and charmed all the girls. As the boys struck out, Eleni had a trail of like 5 girls sitting around her, so needless to say she is sought after and flirty, and not even ashamed of using her looks to her advantage. (Plus she has HUGE Dom vibes)

Jett hasn't even really been explored as a character yet but she screams Bi to me. But for now she mainly likes to vibe and get a good feel of those around her. Those she gets along with m, she loves. And if someone happens to catch her eye, she doesn't mind who it may be. Word on the street is that she had a crush on Josuke at some point, and may be interested in Rohan. But this doesn't mean she wouldn't be into women, too. She just hasn't met the right person yet.

Herias is another OC who really hasn't had much development or anything but she is definitely in a loving relationship with Mariah and has had off and on flings with Steely Dan. She feels less for Steely Dan but can't deny that he's sexy, if not an asshole. But she and Mariah hit it off almost immediately because Herias thought she was hot as fuck and set her eyes on her from the get-go.

Xavier. Oh Xavier. Definition of Cowboy Yallternative Himbo. I think another sort of staple with himbos is to be charmers, and he is absolutely a dorky charmer. Anyone who shows him positive attention he immediately falls in love with. He's like a puppy craving attention. He knows he's good looking, but he never gets cocky with it, just flattered and embarrassed. Basically giant cowboy himbo will date anyone interested and he is SINGLE, LADIES AND GENTS.

And finally, Kallias. Kallias is different. Since she had to disguise herself to make it into the order of knights with Bruford, she was often propositioned by many women, which led to a few scandalous nights for the time period in the 1500s. She slept with many women, and it took her losing an eye for Bruford to find out that she was not a man, and she was given the opportunity to confess her true feelings.

Tbh, Amaryllis, Vassia, Caroline, and Avidia probably just haven't figured themselves out, but they've only really shown interest in men. Guess we shall see how things develop in the minds of my girls 💕

[vexedtonightmares]

Hi, rank the skam france characters for chaotic vibes and rank them for energy levels. 🤗

ahh sorry this took me so long to answer but i’ve finally done it (maybe)

just so this isn’t a novel’s length, i’m just gonna do the grew and lamifex

chaotic vibes

lucas lallemant- have u met him even one time. king of chaos and that’s on periodt luv.

basile savary- the gang are the most chaotic characters in skamfr and we love them for it. sometimes i forget how chaotic baz is because he’s such a sweetheart too, but then i rewatch s3 and i’m like ah, yes, the one who fell over in one of the first clips he was ever in.

arthur broussard- got hit by a car on friday and went to school on monday. if that doesn’t scream chaotic vibes idek what does.

yann cazas- i would prepare a powerpoint of every instagram photo yann has ever been a part of as evidence, but that would make this even longer, so you’ll have to take my word for it.

jo- we barely know her but i just f e e l those vibes from her. everything she’s done in every clip i’ve seen her in is just so chaotic in the best way possible.

alexia martineau- pink and blue hair screams chaos vibes i don’t make the rules!! also, remember when she said we should organize a hunger games for population control?

emma borges- re: my other vibe post, she talked to a horse to help her solve her life problems. godspeed my queen.

max- all of lamifex rules by chaos and i think that’s SO sexy of them. i do be thinking about the beginning of the vid jo made where max kept accidentally getting in the shot quite often. 

sekou- vibe lord vibing and dancing with jo and max while lola and maya fall in love. the least chaotic of the jo/max/sekou trio, but chaotic enough. bless him.

daphne lecomte- we didn’t watch daphne go into full on chaos mode in season 1 and 2 over charles for her to end up at the bottom of the list.

eliott demaury- he’s more mysterious than chaotic, or maybe comes across as too cool to be chaotic. like, he has a secret street art persona known for getting to all these places other people can’t which, on the surface, is chaotic, but for some reason it doesn’t seem as chaotic because it’s him. idk i’m talking out of my ass at this point.  

lola lecomte- she slapped a bitch to the upside down. case closed. 

manon demissy- manon is the most feral of the nooras and u can quote me on that but otherwise she’s not as chaotic as most of the rest of our skamfr pals.

maya etienne- not much chaos, tbh, just a beautiful lovely flower who wants to save the whales and kiss pretty girls. valid, so valid. i’ll give her a lil chaos point for doing urbex tho.

imane bakhellal- none of the sanas are very chaotic, i mean, someone has to balance out the rest of the squad’s chaos, and imane comes in clutch for them.

energy levels

jo- she koala jumped on eliott the first time we met her. i cannot wait to see what other energetic fuckery she gets up to.

daphne lecomte- relating back to her levels of chaos, these two are intrinsically tied together, but her energy edges out the chaos. bubbly hyper energetic icon.

eliott demaury- sunshine baby who is physically incapable of not bouncing while he walks and smiles hard enough to create world peace. 

alexia martineau- another ray of sunshine, plus, she dances and has a million hobbies which i’d say requires much energy.

basile savary- remember when they had to yell at him to quiet down when lucas introduced eliott as his boyfriend? yeah.

lucas lallemant- every party scene. he do be dancin. he’s just a bit more subdued than some others in everyday life, but he still got energy to spare.

sekou- smart ppl aren’t always the most energetic but u can tell he’s the kind of person who dives into one topic and can talk about it for days on end, and that’s a special type of energy that we love to see.

arthur broussard- u gotta have a lot of energy to bounce back out of bed after you’ve been hit by a car. (i’m sorry about all the car jokes, no i won’t stop)

manon demissy- manon leaning over to daphne on the bed in season one saying “i bet i can make you excited”. that’s all.  

max- all of lamifex has an inherently strong energy level, but i think that jo takes up about 75% of it sekou has about 15% and max and maya have 10% and 5%, respectively.

maya etienne- enough energy to keep up with the rest of lamifex, but she’s definitely the most chill and serene of their crew. jo, max, and sekou are probably going off on the reg and maya’s there to bring them back down to earth.

yann cazas- least energetic of the gang but that’s just because his vibes are so strong on their own that he doesn’t need extra energy to back it up. live ur truth king.

emma borges- she has energy when the situation permits, but she’s mostly pretty chill. yes girl go girl give us nothing!

imane bakhellal- definitely not the most energetic but it works in her favor because it provides a nice balance within the girl squad. imane is on one end of the spectrum, daphne is on the other. 

lola lecomte- i don’t think energetic is a word i’d use to describe lola, and i don’t think it needs to be. i just want her to be HAPPY goddamnit.

[virtual-toast]

Scream Queens VH1 recap - Season 1 Episode 2

Michelle, Sarah, Kylah, and Jessica come back from the grand ballroom and the rest of the girls are shocked and/or pissed that Jo-Anne went home instead of Kylah. Lindsay says “This house will mourn the loss of Jo-Anne” and Sarah, in tears, calls her “such a sensational actress”, which are both super melodramatic reactions, you knew Jo-Anne for three days, but okay. Meanwhile Kylah has no idea why everyone is upset that she’s still there haha.

The following day sees Kylah declaring the house has been divided into the “queen bitches” (herself, Michelle, Lina, and Angela) and the “more homely girls” (Marissa, Lindsay, and Sarah). I’m assuming she’s put Tanedra and Jessica in the latter category too but she doesn’t mention them specifically. The bitchy girls talk shit about the other girls behind their backs, specifically about how they think Sarah didn’t deserve to win the previous episode, that she’s ugly and annoying, etc.

The girls meet up with Shawnee who tells them they have 15 minutes to dress themselves up and impress a casting director (Kelly Wagner, who seems pretty cool tbh) with the winner getting a guaranteed callback. While getting ready, Michelle and Angela mention that if the winner is not one of the bitchy girls, the competition must be rigged. An awful lot of confidence for week 2, lol.

The girls go back into the room with Shawnee and meet Kelly. They take turns doing a sort of one on one interview / audition, which I’m gonna summarise in dot points because they each get a small amount of screen time:

Lindsay talks about being a child actor and Kelly says that means she probably actually has a harder job than someone just starting out. Lindsay is wearing a weird sort of frilly top and skirt with polka dots but it somehow doesn’t really work for her shape, and Kelly mentions it as well as Shawnee straight up calling her frumpy. True, but also, rude.

Lina goes up and immediately shakes Kelly’s hand. She doesn’t even get a word out before Kelly is like “yeah no, don’t shake casting directors’ hands, personal space / germs” etc.

Kylah talks about playing Price is Right with her brother which Kelly says is a bad choice because she’s automatically associating herself with being a model rather than an actress. Kylah proceeds to mention that she wants to “get ugly, get dirty, like Halle Berry did in Monster.” cringe

Marissa gets up and starts off on this huge spiel about how horror films are like modern Greek tragedies and everyone is just staring at her like GIRL WHAT.

Michelle introduces herself and Kelly asks if she primarily does theatre because of her big personality. Michelle proceeds to brag about being Miss Teen Texas.

Jessica is wearing a smart-casual outfit of jeans and a simple white top with her trademark giant hoop earrings. Kelly comments on her look being unique. Jessica is kinda speaking like a cute little girl who doesn’t want to let the evil out??

Angela mentions how she thinks she has the stereotypical horror “look”. Her outfit isn’t relevant but I have to mention it anyway - it honestly looks like she cut the top off a blue evening gown to wear as a shirt?? and then just jeans. Like idk.

Sarah introduces herself and Kelly immediately comments on her unique nasally voice.

Tanedra tells Kelly that she has no formal training. Kelly says “And you think you can beat out all these girls?” and Tanedra’s like YES. Fuck yeah get it girl.

So Kelly goes ahead and gives her overall impressions - Kylah has no personality, Angela has the best horror look, Lindsay looks like the best friend rather than the leading lady, Marissa is the one she didn’t remember, and she liked Jessica’s personal style. Ultimately she gives Jessica the guaranteed callback, and also sends Lindsay and Marissa for makeovers which Michelle finds hilarious.

The girls go back into the house and Kylah proceeds to have a tantrum about not winning, stating that if the casting director was a man the results would have been different. But get this, she DOES NOT CHANGE EXPRESSION THE ENTIRE TIME. Even when she’s yelling “I’M ABOUT TO CRY” she literally just has this blank look on her face like is she actually made of wax?? Meanwhile Lindsay and Marissa have their makeovers, Lindsay gets a cool short reverse A-line bob cut and looks really badass, while Marissa gets her hair dyed jet black and cut in choppy layers. It looks fine but you can tell by her face Marissa is not happy.

The girls go to Homa’s class and since the week is all about first impressions, they have to do freeze frame shots of particular expressions, I guess so they can see what they actually look like vs. what they think they look like or something. Most of the girls do pretty well, Tanedra kills it again, Marissa bombs, and Kylah once again LITERALLY DOES NOT CHANGE EXPRESSION. What the fuck.

Back at the house the girls are all gushing over Lindsay and Marissa’s makeovers, Michelle voices her jealousy despite earlier thinking it was hilarious, and Angela is mad that she’s no longer the only one with her “look”, even though she and Marissa don’t look the same at all, the only similarity is the colour of their hair?? Marissa goes and has a cry about her hair because she’s now lost all her confidence and honestly it’s actually kinda sad / hard to watch.

The next day they find one of the rooms in the house has been filled with creepy dolls and of course one of them is actually a person that jumps out and scares them because omg what a funny prank haha. The “doll” tells them their director’s challenge is a photoshoot which many of the girls are stoked about. They’re basically given generic horror themes and have to shoot the poster. Dot points again!

Lina gets “Tie Die” and her costume is literally a length of rope that’s wrapped around her. She immediately cracks the shits and goes into full blown diva mode, complaining about her costume, how apparently difficult her theme is compared to other girls, telling the makeup and hair people how to do their jobs, etc. Whaaaaat, Lina is a bitch?? This is brand new information!! Unfortunately she still does a really good job with the photoshoot.

Lindsay gets “Blinded By the Fright” and her costume is a hospital gown and white contact lenses, which she has difficulty putting in but is EXTREMELY polite about it with the makeup lady (a nice juxtaposition to Lina’s bitch fest). Lindsay also does really well in the photoshoot.

Kylah gets “Thin Skin” which she comments sounds like a porno, lmao. Her costume is literally just black liquid latex painted all over her body and the other girls are fucking FROTHING with jealously. Kylah proceeds to completely bomb the challenge, giving absolutely no emotion and James literally has no idea how to direct her.

Michelle gets “Don’t Go in the Water” and is basically just wearing a bikini, but then James dumps a bottle of cold water all over her. She does really well in the photoshoot.

Sarah gets “Blood Skate”, her costume is just a bloody ice skating outfit, and she does okay.

Tanedra gets “Prom Scream”, she is wearing a bloody prom dress, and she does really well.

Jessica gets “The Butcher’s Girl” and she’s literally wearing a hat, gloves, no shirt, just an apron and shorts? And there’s blood? This one confuses me. She does okay.

Angela gets “Monster’s Wedding” which some of the other girls (correctly) complain is SUPER easy - she’s literally in a wedding dress posing with a bloody hand prop. She does fine but I mean all she has to do is stand there and smile??

Marissa gets “Mummy Maker” and she’s wrapped in what I assume are bandages but it looks like toilet paper? She’s pretty covered, including the bottom half of her face, and she’s supposed to be seductive but honestly it kinda just feels like an awkward interpretive dance??

The next day back at the house, Marissa vents to the other girls about her insecurity with her new hair. Like I know it’s just hair but it’s kinda sad, they completely changed her look which obviously fucks with her confidence. The girls get their photoshoot posters and everyone is stoked except Marissa (rightfully) and Lindsay, who basically has an anxiety attack and hates hers even though everyone is telling her how great it is. Whoo boy I relate to Lindsay so hard. Jessica reads the list which summons Marissa, Kylah, Lindsay, and Lina to the grand ballroom. They all think they’re at the bottom except Lina, who of course thinks she’s top shit.

In the grand ballroom, Lina gets pulled forward and despite doing well in the challenge, the judges straight up read her for being a bitch, which is hella satisfying let me tell you. Lindsay gets pulled forward and the judges tell her that she did an awesome job and that she needs to go easier on herself, before awarding her the week’s leading lady. Marissa and Kylah are predictably the bottom two, Marissa gets told she’s overthinking everything and Kylah just that she’s completely emotionless. Kylah gets the axe and Marissa lives another week.

Stay tuned for Season 1 Episode 3!

[moonlitberrry]

vlive

➀ ᴀ/ɴ: Imagine that you're ateez's 9th female, maknae member who is a vocalist and a rapper, aight? Aight. So today you and Jongho are going to make a vlive and today's schedule is just about the both of you youngest from Ateez. The both of you started the vlive at 4pm in the afternoon at Korea you guys arrived from Thailand at a KCON event and now it's rest time.

➁ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: idol! choi jongho x idol! reader

➂ ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: fluff, idol au

➃ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: none

you're already seated in front of the camera and said hi towards the atiny's when someone made a large entrance

"So please, ige nae giriramyeon nae soneul kkok jabajwo orae hemaeji anhdorok"

started the vlive with jongho singing in the background

his favorite song in your album; Treasure Ep. Fin: All to Action

jongho made a seat next to you and sang using his phone as his microphone making you laugh at the dork next to you

"why are you laughing at me?"

"you look like a dork that's all"

you laughed and jongho looked at the atiny's with a "wth" kind of face

the comments went streaming down with some atiny's laughing and greeting the both of you saying hi for those who just joined in the vlive

tbh its the first time that you and jongho went vlive, just the both of you

you usually go vlive alone, with all of the members or just with hongjoong since you help him with composing the songs in Ateez

yes you're that amazing you're welcome

you asked the atiny's on how their day went and some of them commented on "fine", "we're good how about you?" some of them made a cut on how bad their day was and you said that its fine

jongho read the comments along with you but had an idea to keep the vlive more entertaining

he pulled his phone out and decided to play some music thinking it would be a great idea if atiny's request songs that they want you guys to listen to

they requested a bunch of songs:

5sos ��� teeth

monsta x — shoot out

stray kids — double knot

the both of you went through the list of ongoing and fast comments until the both of you settled into one song

that transended onwards with the both of you sharing what happened during the past events that you guys have been to

"I remember that Stray Kids Changbin gave you a plushie last Soribada Awards"

"Yeah he did, I'm really thankful for that too! He's really kind, if you're watching this Changbin hyung thank you again for the plushies!"

the song requests transended until jongho got bored and wanted to tease you by tickling your sides

"jo-jongho-ah! what are you doing stop! hahaha"

"entertaining myself~"

"jongho- haha... stop!"

you tried squirming away from jongho's grasps but he got a hold of you and pulled you down engulfing you in a hug

the comments went from song requesting to shipping in just a split second

"that's my otp"

"omg 💕💕💕"

the comments wouldn't stop making you embarrassed that it got to the point of you covering your flushed face

jongho got embarrassed too, chuckling nervously and looking towards the side, his blush obvious on his cheeks but tried to cough it away

no one in the whole world knows your crush for the main vocal of ateez but the rest of ateez saw it to be obvious

he liked you too but don't want to say it just yet

you regained your composure from jongho who let you go from hugging you making you pout

just when jongho was about to change into another song that the atiny's request you jumped in and spot a great song to play

jongho meanwhile agreed and played the last song of the day since the both of you need to leave to record a dance practice of your new comeback Wonderland

Monsta X & Dreamcatcher (mashup) — Shoot Out and Piri

if you haven't stanned any of them do now, they're great

once the song played you thought it would only be a Monsta X song but you jumped up, eyes lighting up hearing a mashup of both your favorite groups

jongho chuckled at your actions

you looked so cute in his eyes

bouncing around and singing Dreamcatcher while he sang Monsta X's Shoot Out

the both of you made a great combination

there were some moments where you didn't knew it was your part and realized you started to sing Monsta X's Shoot Out

"shoot out, shoot outtttt"

"shoot out, shoot out, shoot outtttt (y/nnnnnn) ahhh what are you doing that's my part hahaha"

you decided to start fooling around with him and decided to poke jongho's sides causing his high note t break profusely making him scream instead

at the end of the vlive the both of you became such crackheads poking fun at each other until seonghwa had to call the both of you out

"cmon love birds we need to practice now i can't believe you guys have been live for almost 40 minutes it's supposed to be 30"

"welp, that's enough of that-"

jongho tried to pull you out of your seat but you were too stubborn to get out of it

"cmon lazy we need to go and practice"

"make me"

jongho looked at the camera then back at you and decided to carry you out bridal style in front of the many fans

"jongho what are you doing??"

"atiny may i steal my girlfriend for a while? thankssss"

cue running out the door forgetting to turn the vlive off leaving the comments run wild with what he just called you

hongjoong turned the vlive off instead

« back to jongho masterlist

[gamerwoo]

A Guide to Pentagon (bc y’all are sleeping on them and it needs to stop)

This is mostly for @neverknewgrey2016 who wants to get into them, but I decided to make a whole masterlist of sorts bc they’re slept on and I’m tiredt of it. So these are videos I watched to get into them/learn about them. Here we go kids!!!

Music Videos (in order):

Gorilla

Can You Feel It

Pretty Pretty

Critical Beauty 

To Universe 

When I Was In Love (doesn’t show them, I think, but still a nice song)

Like This

Runaway

Violet

Shine

Naughty Boy / Performance Ver bc I love Naughty Boy ok

Sha La La / Dance The X Pentagon bc it’s the only time Kino was included and I love it

Genius

Humph!

Dr. BeBe

(I’m not including Japanese mvs because I’m not sure how many of them there are but I’m sure if you look around you can find em)

Videos To Watch To Learn Members:

An (Un)Helfpful Guide To Pentagon

how to tell pentagon members apart

The Immigration (part 1)

The Immigration (part 2)

Pentagon Plays Who’s Who

(People told me when I was getting into them to watch Pentagon Maker but I could never find all the parts with English subs so I never did but if you find them good for you dkfhsdk)

Misc Videos That Might Help But I Just Like Them:

Pentagon Nimdle playlist

pentagon as vines

Pentagon as Vines Compilation

pentagon and the english language

Get It Beauty with Kino (it’s basically just Kino fucking up Yanan’s face but I love it) 

Let’s Dance: Pentagon -- Shine 

K-Pop Stars React To Try Not To Sing Along Challenge

Round 1 Lyrics (trust me them roasting each other will really help you get to know them lmao)

Round 2 Dance Practice (same deal w Round 1, just turn on subs)

But I also decided to be nice and do like half the work for you so here’s a very short guide to Pentagon courtesy of me:

Hui

Real name: Lee Hoetake (on all the official stuff it says his name is hoetaek but unis call him huitaek and i never knew why but at this point im too afraid to ask)

Birth date: August 28th, 1993

Leader

Trying so hard to take care of his kids that just blow him off

Always wants to hold hands and nobody else ever does

But he loves them anyway

Cries at anything and everything

The running joke is that he’s not the best at English even though his mom is an English teacher (ex: ”Load to Kingdom”)

A vocal king

Makes a lot of their songs tbh

This dude does everything he sings, dances, produces like he’s way too slept on

Jinho

Real name: Jo Jinho

Birth date: April 17th, 1992

He’s the oldest

Also tiniest

Another vocal king

He’s always doing bomb ass covers (his Bohemian Rhapsody one? I died)

Speaks/understands English really well tbh

Almost never cries

He’s like the glue that holds ptg together

He’s currently doing his enlistment but he was really excited about it and the members speak to him often!!

Hongseok

Real name: Yang Hongseok

Birth Date: April 17th, 1994

Fluent in English and I think Mandarin too???

He’s basically a big brainy boi

And a big muscly boi

Bffs w BM from Kard and VP of the BTC

So fuckin competitive like he won’t give anybody pity points

He’s basically super smart and super beefy like he’s all around perfect

Disguised as a crackhead tho

E’Dawn

Real name: Kim Hyojong

Birth date: Jun 1st, 1994

He’s not a member anymore but I’m including him anyway!!

Fuck Cube and everybody who gave him shit

That last bit technically isn’t a fact but it’s a Fact tm

Love plants

Screams unprovoked all the time

A sweet but chaotic boy

He’s basically a child but we love him

PS look at him and Hyuna living their best lives!!!!

Shinwon

Real name: Ko Shinwon (I’ve seen his surname spelled with a k and with a g so ???? idk man)

Birth date: December 11th 1995

Stringbean boi #1 aka he’s tol and thin

Him and Hongseok always doing weird shit together in group photos

He’s afraid of animals

Like,,,,,,all animals

His voice is super distinct to me idk how to explain it

#1 The 1975 stan

Loves his McDonald’s dude idk

He may seem a lil strange and he is but god he cares so deeply about the members

Yeo One

Real name: Yeo Changgu

Birth date: March 27th, 1996

He looks like a prince and he is a prince

With any hair color he’s normal but when he goes blonde he’s suddenly a thot idk

His smile could end wars

Still lowkey a crackhead bc everybody is in Pentagon

Recently became a very beefy boi

He reminds me of a puppy this lil angel always looks happy

In the words of Jinho, “he’s an idiot”

He’s just a big soft boi

Yanan

Real name: Yan An (his Korean name is Kim Yanan because he likes kimchi and that’s so valid)

Birth date: October 25th, 1996

The baby boy of the world

Stringbean boi #2

He’s the only member from China

He’s friends w Jun from Seventeen and it’s so cute

He has a tattoo on his chest

I’d take a bullet for him. FACT.

We literally haven’t seen him w Pentagon since Sha La La (other than the one selfie he took w them before/when they were on RTK) and Cube won’t tell us anything other than the fact he’s going to be in a new Chinese drama but he’s said he wants to come back but Cube is leaving him on read

Anyway even non unis love Yanan so if you want just one reason to stan here it is everyone loves Yanan

Yuto

Real name: Adachi Yuto

Birth date: January 23rd, 1998

When I found out he was 2 years younger than me I lost it

He looks so mature and handsome but he a babie

The only member from Japan, and he is Japan’s prince

Rap line

Deep ass voice part 1

Used to play baseball (and soccer, I think)

Shy soft boi who plays Animal Crossing and listens to Keshi

He looks intimidating on the outside but then he smiles and giggles and it’s uwu city

SHINee fanboy

Scared of absolutely everything

The Most Handsom Man in Kpop tm (don’t @ me this is a fact)

Kino

Real name: Kang Hyunggu

Birth date: January 27th, 1998

He a soft boi too

Sensitive is probably the better word but we still love him

Sometimes sexy boi tbh

But look at him he’s so cute

He’s pretty good at speaking/understanding English and idk how he learned but damn he really invented English step aside Hongseok

Really good at gg dances

And just dancing in general

He’s good at everything tbh

Wooseok

Real name: Jung Wooseok

Birth date: January 31st, 1998

Maknae

Stringbean boi #3

Deep ass voice part 2

And yet he can sing soprano parts for operas??? idk

He’s the youngest but is the tallest w the deepest voice lmao

I know I’ve basically said every member is a babie but Wooseok is also babie

He did an album w Kuanlin and I loved watching them together :’)

Rap line

Him and Yuto are bffs

He has a pretty singing voice @ Cube let him sing more

Alright that’s everything I got on how to get into Pentagon pls stop sleeping on them thx for coming to my TED talk.

[francesderwent]

are there are songs from reputation that you think work really well for delena?

A WONDERFUL question, anon!!!  I went slightly overboard.  In my defense, the intersection of Taylor and TVD is one of my great loves.

Firstly: reputation as an album has its own, overall story arc, which fits Delena pretty neatly!  Just as reputation begins with the very rock bottom, and has to work its way upwards to the happily-ever-after which is truly earned because it’s found where there seems to be no hope – so, too, Damon and Elena meet each other in each of their darkest moments.  Damon has lost and been betrayed by Katherine, Elena is still devastated by her parents’ death.  Damon is distanced from his humanity; Elena is far from her true magnetically charismatic self.   But they see and recognize each other, even through their pain.  And they love each other.  They find peace together, in the midst of all the darkness and craziness and people insisting it can never work.  

That said, there are some individual songs that really scream “DELENA”

“…ready for it?” is the “it is right, just not right now” of songs.  As such, it is more from Damon’s perspective than Elena’s – as soon as Elena figures out “I know I’m gonna be with you” she does not “take her time,” she makes the jump straight from 0 to 100.  Also, the line “in the middle of the night in my dreams, you should see the things we do, baby”, paired with the restraint of the next line insisting on taking time, is a little reminiscent of Friday Night Bites, wherein Damon says he’s going to sneak into the Gilbert house in the middle of the night and do with little cheerleader Elena whatever he wants…and then he breaks in and just tenderly watches her sleep.    

“End Game” has three perspectives, so if you squint I think it can be about the love triangle: Damon proclaims, “I got a bad boy persona, that’s what they like / you love it, I love it too cause you my type / you hold me down and I protect you with my life”.  Stefan’s verse is both a little gentler and a little more cautious: “For all your beautiful traits and the way you do it with ease / for all my flaws, paranoia, and insecurities / I made mistakes and made some choices that’s hard to deny…I’ve passed days without fun, this endgame is the one”.  (Bonus points for “it’s easier to ignore it, believe me, ” because Stefan is King of Denial.)  And finally, we find Elena’s perspective in the bridge: “I don’t wanna be just another ex-love you don’t wanna see / I don’t wanna miss you like the other girls do.” She doesn’t want to lose either of them – but it’s the one who “calls my bluff on all my usual tricks” that she eventually chooses.

“I Did Something Bad” is not a Delena song. I’d posit that the first verse is Katherine and the second verse is Rebekah.

“Don’t Blame Me” is more of a Damon/Katherine song, but there’s something kind of charming about imagining a Damon in-love-with-Elena saying “don’t blame me, love made me crazy” when he’s accused of doing something nice or self-sacrificial.

“Delicate” reminds me a lot of pre-relationship s4 Delena, when Elena has just turned and is most self-conscious about who she is and how she’s perceived by her friends and family.  Damon looks at her and sees not a problem to be fixed, but the woman he loves, the most alive he’s ever seen her.  Also “sometimes when I look in your eyes, I pretend you’re mine, all the damn time” is a big time Delena mood.

“Look What You Made Me Do” is sort of the universal humanity-switch song.

“So It Goes” is one of Taylor’s saddest songs, tbh, because the phrase “so it goes” expresses a kind of determined inevitability. And in the past – in “Style” and in “You Are In Love” – she’s used the phrase to describe the way that relationships progress, how things fall into place despite difficulties.  Even though he’s been out and about with other girls, they fall back together because they can’t stop thinking about each other.  Relationships that start with one look in a dark room progress inevitably to pictures kept in an office downtown.  In 1989 particularly, Taylor insists stubbornly that as long as you have the courage to stay, things can work out.  As long as nobody leaves, things move along a set pathway: so it goes.  But with “So It Goes”, the track, what happens inevitably isn’t staying together, it’s not the relationship growing closer and more real.  It’s falling together and falling apart, and “doing a number” on each other.  What’s fated is the whole progression of believing that you’ve found something to keep, and then finding it’s just another thing to lose.  Destiny becomes fatalism.  And this, long story short, is pretty s5 delena.  For a moment, it looks like the love that pushed them both to be better versions of themselves is just going to twist and fall apart, like everything else that’s disappointed them in the past.  The magnetism and chemistry is still there - “'cause we break down a little, but when I get you alone, it’s so simple” – but now it looks like it could be leading them to their doom.  

“Gorgeous” fits pretty neatly into s3 Delena, particularly that one time when Damon is distracting Rebekah and Elena is distracting Stefan and they’re both mad about it.  Also, “you should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room” is CLEARLY the hand-holding in the motel-room-of-sexual-tension, and the consequence is making out on the ice machine and embarrassing Jeremy.

“Getaway Car” is not a Delena song, as it is pretty clearly a Katherine song: “us traitors never win…that was the last time you ever saw me”.  But it does kind of describe the season 3 finale moment when Elena says she picks Stefan, “but maybe if we had met first…”  She was the first to leave, because she was thinking of the place where they first met – but she was wrong about where they first met, and that changed the whole arc of the story.

“King of My Heart” is a nice counter-point to “…ready for it?”, encapsulating how as soon as Elena realizes she loves Damon, she is “all at once” totally confident, totally committed, all-in.  “Your love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep” is very Delena, as is “is this the end of all the endings? my broken bones are mending”.  “Baby, all at once, this is enough.”

“Dancing With Our Hands Tied” is another s4-5 early relationship fate-fighting bop.  “I’d kiss you as the lights went out, swaying as the room burned down, I’d hold you as the water rushes in if I could dance with you again” particularly reminds me of “I wanted to dance with you today”.

“Dress” is THE Delena song, because everyone thinks it’s just about sex - but it’s about someone seeing who you are, and about belonging to someone so deeply that it’s written all over you.  It’s about all the things which define you suddenly having a new meaning because of how truly you know you are loved.  “Everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing” = “What do they know about us?”.  “Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me” = “I like you now, just the way that you are.”  She doesn’t?? want him like a best friend????

“This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things” is a pretty great anthem for Damon “the fun brother” Salvatore and Elena “just as crazy as me” Gilbert.  Y’all know I love forgiveness and believe it is the truest kind of strength, but Elena and Damon both have petty sides, for sure.  This song is the moment where Elena walks in on Damon and the boys playing a drinking game to celebrate Katherine’s demise, and she says if anyone’s going to drink to it, she is.

“Call It What You Want” feels like a mid-s6 song to me, before Elena’s gotten her memories back, but when she’s beginning to realize just how lucky she is to have Damon back.  She doesn’t fully understand it yet – “call it what you want” – but she knows somehow that despite everything, this is where she belongs: “And I know I make the same mistakes, every time / bridges burn I never learn / at least I did one thing right.”  “You don’t need to save me, but would you run away with me” marks the decision to become human together.

“New Year’s Day” is sort of the perfect song for all the bookends of Damon and Elena’s story.  First, “there’s glitter on the floor after the party…you and me from the night before”: her eighteenth birthday party, the first time she realized she loved him.  “I stay when you’re lost and I’m scared and you’re turning away”: no matter what, they always survive. “I want your midnights”: the epic moments, the night of Miss Mystic Falls, the night at the motel, the night of the meteor shower thunderstorm – “but I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year’s day”: the everyday moments, cooking and sitting together on the sofa and going to parent-teacher conferences.  But midnight and new years day also symbolize the wild, powerful, heightened life of immortality and their peaceful, homey life with their family.  The song ends on “there’s glitter on the floor after the party…you and me forevermore”: Alaric and Jo’s wedding, when they decided they’re going to get married and be human together.

[roadtoavonlea]

Working through 3.02

Well, it’s almost been 24 hours since we were all smacked with the second episode of the third season of Anne with an E.  There was a lot to digest and idk about y’all, but I got MAJOR heartburn from it all, but now after some contemplation, I’m ready to put my thoughts down.

I figure that the best way to do this is to do it storyline by storyline.  So, let’s start with Matthew/Miss Stacy:

This is a dynamic I definitely wanted to see more of since Ms Stacy first emerged in 2.09.  She is an adult version of Anne, just as hopeful and curious about the world around her.  Matthew is so incredibly reserved and shy that whenever he finds a connection with anyone other than Anne, Marilla, and Jerry, well--it’s kind of hypnotizing, tbh.  I loved his conversation with Gilbert in season one in which he offered to help Gilbert with his farm after Gilbert’s father passed away.  It takes a true kindred spirit to get Matthew to open up, and this was one of the shining lights of (what I consider to be) one of the darkest episodes of the series.  It was very refreshing.  And Ms. Stacy--well, I love her more with every passing episode.

I’m very worried about Matthew making it through this season.  He’s said quite a few things that have made me very nervous about the state of his mortality.

Cole and Aunt Jo.  I’ve been waiting over a year to see these two again.  Two of my favorite characters in the entire series and seeing them again is just *chef’s kiss*.  I love all of my found families in Anne with an E, but their dynamic is E V E R Y T H I N G. Can we have a spin-off with these two?  Unfortunately this episode offered very little of my favorite adult in the show, but Cole more than made up for that.

Anne’s journey.  For me, this was the darkest storyline of the episode (and potentially series, depending on which routes Moira takes this season).  We’ve seen flashes of Anne’s past at the orphanage before, not to mention the torment she faced from her peers and authority figures.  For her to go back, to (literally) FACE those who continue to stalk her nightmares--well, THAT is true brave.  Her poise and compassion while staring her tormentors in the eye...honestly...I’ve NEVER been prouder of our girl.  AB indicated that episode two was the most challenging for her this season--and I understand why.  It was so difficult to watch from the “ghosts” she witnessed to watching that father leave his two small children behind (side note: I LOST it during that part. Like openly sobbed, it was so heartbreaking), to proclaiming how pathetic she was for creating all of these fantasies just to survive.  And Cole.  His heart to heart with Anne and telling her that he wouldn’t have survived without her just made me cry even harder because at this point, Anne’s doubting everything.  Cole’s reassurance that she matters and that she’s loved was so powerful.  I knew her going back would be rough but man--those performances just blew me away.

Bash/Mary/Elijah.  Can Bash and Mary just be happy?  I just wanna go back to that happy family in 3.01.  I understand Elijah’s had a tough life and he’s in deep with some stuff, but man...that entire exchange with Mary and Bash hit me almost as deeply as Anne at the orphanage.  The entire time I knew something was going to happen and as soon as they showed Gilbert’s father’s medal, I knew where things were headed.  The pain in Gilbert’s eyes at the end of the episode twisted the knife that was already in my heart.  I hope this doesn’t fracture the Blythe/LaCroix unit.  After reading the brief synopsis of the next episode, I’m really anxious about one of my favorite Avonlea families.

I’m really worried about Mary.

Which I guess leads me to the storyline that shoved the knife in my throat in the first place.  I stumbled upon spoilers about five minutes before the show started and while I had all but figured out where Gilbert’s storyline was headed this season (I thought Ashleigh would be Christine, not a completely new character--which is more frightening tbh), I still wasn’t prepared for what actually happened.  So, *deep breath*, I’m gonna try to work through some of this:

It’s clear that while still hurt from the whole “Take Notice” thing in 3.01, Gilbert was willing to move forward and try to have an enjoyable trip to Charlottetown with Anne because...well...I feel like these two really haven’t been alone a lot between the last two seasons.  In 3.01 they seemed friendly enough, but not quite friends (which honestly, upon deep reflection--has been the most disappointing thing thus far this season...gimmie that friendship, Moira!!).  So, I feel like he was sort of hopeful to be able to have a conversation with Anne and regain some of the rapport they had at the end of season two.  

Obviously, Anne wasn’t quite in the mood given the HIGHLY embarrassing display Marilla subjected her to on the train platform.  Anne’s always considered herself to be fiercely independent (and she is, for the most part), so I can see her point in regards to not needing a chaperone.  Her anger and frustration with Marilla definitely got misplaced onto poor, unsuspecting Gilbert and (once again) she spoke before she really thought about what she was saying.

Only this time she actually said what Gilbert had been thinking for awhile.  She doesn’t need him.  She doesn’t see him in a romantic way.  He realized in that moment that he had been pining over someone who didn’t even deem him worthy to hear what her “mission” was.  Being reminded of his place in her world, that he was merely an acquaintance, immediately sent his defenses up.  We KNOW that he’s still hung up on the “take notice” thing because of that line about what he’s taken notice of.

So, still feeling the sting of her rejection, he goes to Dr. Ward’s office and there’s Winifred Rose.  I’m curious to learn how long these two have known one another and what her role is.  Obviously, he’s charmed by her because she’s a lot like a certain someone who had just rejected him, not to mention the fact that she is pretty.

Ok, so I have issues with this storyline (as do most of you). My issues are:

It seems a little OOC for Gilbert.  This is why I want to know how long he’s known Winifred.  If he’s known her for awhile and has had an infatuation for a bit, then ok...not too out of the ordinary, but for him to go from clear and obvious excitement about traveling with Anne to asking “Miss Rose” to tea...I mean...I got whiplash from how quickly he pivoted from one to the other.  I feel like if we just had one more episode of build up or had an episode of establishment with Winifred, it wouldn’t have been quite so jarring.  I think Moira knows this (because her pacing with the series thus far has been excellent) which leads me to believe that this has to be a rebound kind of thing.

How old is this woman?  I know others have posed that question and I’m in that boat.  I know Gilbert is supposed to be 18, but she seems....quite a bit older than that.  Also, my spidey senses are tingling when it comes to her.  What’s her endgame here?  I don’t trust her (this could be my shirbert soul screaming, but I feel like this needs to be said).

His actions don’t align with Gilbert from the books.  I know that seems like a cop-out because we all stopped comparing the show to the books back in season one (at least, we should have), but I’ve been a Gilbert Blythe stan for most of my life.  The books and the 80s mini-series were my first intro to him and he’s one of my favorite fictional characters--ever, so I can’t help but to think about book Gilbert while watching the show.  I know others have touched on this as well, so I won’t rehash.  I know the show is its own organism, but it just happened so fast.  So. Fast.

I will say that it appears as if Moira has taken a few plot points from Anne of the Island (my favorite book) this season, so it stands to reason that Winifred could be her version of Christine Stuart.  Anne’s quest to learn more about her parents (though just a blip) was also part of that book, sooooo that’s something to consider/keep in mind.

I guess my biggest issue right now is the pacing of it.  I’m all for angst.  I absolutely LOVE it.  It’s where I love to live, but it happened so quickly in the midst of an already emotionally draining episode, so it felt exponentially amplified.

I need to watch it again, but I’m not sure when I’ll have the stomach to because that episode punched me in the face with a lot of emotions I wasn’t quite prepared to handle.

Having said all of that (bless you if you’ve made it this far because i don’t think I’ve added anything of importance), bring on Charlie Sloane.  Make this triangle a square (however non-existent it may be).  Let Gilbert see someone else pursue Anne.  Heck, let’s throw in a few others.  Tilly doesn’t have any problems with multiple suitors (she’s the real MVP right now, let’s be honest), so let’s have someone else show interest in Anne.  The more the merrier.  I’m expecting/hope to have sheer chaos when it comes the fall out of this “take notice” board and the barn dance.  Throw Jerry/Diana/Moody in there too.  I’m totally on board for this kind of chaos.  GIVE ME ALL THE ANGST.

[tellywoodtrash]

sanjivani 24.10.19 lb

quick one, coz weddings got me heckin' tired. note to rest of my cousins: please just elope. i promise you'll have my love and support. and gratitude.

———————————————————————

i knew it. stupid boyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

“tumhe kya lagta hai tum yeh sab karke, kisi bhi ladke ko attract kar logi????”

"kisi bhi ladke ko nahi. aapko." yeah babe, tell him.

UGH SID MAAROONGI TUMHE, STOP SHAMING HER LIKE THIS. YOU TOH HAVE NO RIGHT TO CALL ANYYYYYYYY ONE OUT ON CASUAL SEX.

btw, itni gandiiiiii acting kar raha hai tu bhai. try and hide your eyes that are screaming out their apologies.

YES ISHANI OWN IT. SPEAK YOUR TRUTH, SISTER. I LOVE YOU THE MOST. DON'T LISTEN TO THIS DUMBASS BOY.

padhaai likhaai ka woh achchaaaaaa hi use kar rahi hai, don't you worry, bro. aur ~~izzat ka kya achaar daalegi? uski marzi woh jo kare. tere ko kya????

also rich of you to talk about her being padhi-likhi ladki and all, WHEN YOU BELIEVE IN SUPERSTITIONS LIKE YOU CAN INFLUENCE THE FATE AND LIFE AND DEATH OF A PERSON BY JUST ASSOCIATING WITH THEM???? BLOODY ANDHAVISHWAASI DOCTOR.

ofc. ragey destruction of room has commenced.

mann mein sorry ishani!!!! sorry ishani!!!!!!!!!!! sorry ishani!!!! ka jaap. oufff kya karoon main tumhaaraaaaaa siddhu???? why are you suchhhhh a dheeeeent?

sid regretting letting go of such a golden opportunity to smash.

AW YISSSSSSSS RAHIL'S HERE.

ok ishani pe gussa, phir bhi jaise taise seh liya. PAR RAHIL PE CHADHNA FOR NO REASON?!?!?!? I SHALL NOT ABIDE. RAHIL IS THE SINGLE BEST PERSON ON THIS SHOW AND I WILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO DISRESPECTS HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmao rahil is another dheent. sid ka paala saare hi in jaiso se pada hai.

ALL MALE FRIENDS SHOULD BE LIKE RAHIL, INVESTED IN THEIR BRO'S EMOTIONAL HEALTH. WE STAN.

i am so fucking glad ishani didn't internalize sid's bullshit and take it seriously. she’s self assured in her feelings for him and isn’t ashamed of what she did out of love. good. love it. goals.

OMFG RAHIL IS READY TO THROW DOWN WITH SID AND HEAL HIS EMOTIONAL TRAUMA, SO HELP HIM GOD.

sid: 😥😟😓

rahil: (ง'̀-‘́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง COME HERE, LET ME BEAT THE SAD OUT OF YOU (ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง

siddhant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T CARE THAT I LOVE YOU, I WILL KILL YOU! HOW DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE YOU DO THAT TO RAHIL!!!!!

omg dhakka diya, rahil ko halkiiiiiiii si lagi, and sid instantly went into overprotective mama hen mode. OH HO SIDDHU, WHY WON'T YOU LEMME HATE YOU FOR MORE THAN 30 SECONDS?!?!!?!?!? 

“dekh. dekh apne aap ko dr. siddhant mathur. kya haal bana rakha hai. aisa haal toh mohabbat mein hota hai na?“

oh shit, that dhakka shook loose rahil's savagery. he's going for the jugular. ek look aur line se chitthide kar diye.

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD SIDDHANT. THAT'S NOT HOW HEALTHY HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS WORK. IF YOU GO AROUND GIVING 110% OF YOURSELF TO EVERY SINGLE RELATIONSHIP IN YOUR LIFE, THEN PEOPLE ARE GONNA RECIPROCATE. TOUGH TITTIES, SID. DON'T BE SO FUCKING LOVABLE IF YOU DON'T WANNA BE LOVED. IDIOT.

omg awwwwwwwwwwwww, aman and neil are nervously waiting for ishani outside the ladies' restroom. to the point where aman wants to go barging in there to check on her and neil has to physically restrain him.

"ishani.... tum theek toh ho na?"

"yeh plan kaam nahi kiya??"

lol they’re surprised that anyone could resist that sari. (tbh so am i.)

instantly have new plan ready though. GOD I LOVE THESE BOYS, THEY ARE SO WHOLESOME.

"main sure nahi hoon yaar. mujhe lagta hai iss sab se break lena chahiye."

boys are dejected. unko shaadi ka khaana dikh gaya tha already. pinterest board bhi bana liya tha matching sherwanis ka.

"nahi ishani, tum please uspe give up mat karna."

ET TU, RAHIL??????? LMAO POOR SID IS BEING GANGED UP ONNNNNN.

rahil the titla has given ishani new wind beneath her wings!!!!!!!!

too cute. i love them.

HI MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

she is honestly SO SOFT, and seeing her makes my bp go down 10 points and feel relaxedddddd.

oh my heart.

siddhu mile ya na mile, she should def snap up his mom. get herself adopted and be the new fav. child in this house. let him deal with it.

why this random S1 sanjivani music?

medical camp????? she's also in the health field? a nurse or something?????? WHO COULD HAVE WORKED AT SANJIVANI???????????????

mom knows siddhu has fucked up and is inviting bahu in. enter with right foot, ishani!!!!!!

knew it that juhi would come to shashank and be like nurse philo told me........................ about jessica. blah, fwding.

oh ho, nisha m case, 2005 -2006. yehi hai woh raaaaaaaz.

who sent juhi the file though? why would a 14 year old case file be making its way to her randomly? surely someone sent it to her.

yup. shashank's covering up for some medical siyappa that juhi did and is unaware of herself.

could nisha m be vardhan's sister????????? bet you it is.

all that sari wearing and seductive dancing has given ishani a voracioussssssssss appetite. pata nahi halwa hai ki kya hai, but jammmmmmmmmmmm ke daba rahi hai behen.

"pareshani ka ho gaya bon appetite. THOOS rahi hai." lmaooooo i loveeeee guddu mama.

mom knows ki bete ne kuch bada hi kaand kiya hua hai.

guddu mama is so unabashedly #teamPareshani that it's amazing. siddhu, you've managed to lose every single person on your side to her.

lol aayi toh thi siddhu ki shikaayat karne, but ho nahi raha. kaise bole uski mom se ki i wore tiny sexy sari for your son and ground up on him and he put his hands all over my kamar and almost kissed me but then suddenly started acting like a judgemental bitch????

maaaaaaaaaaaan she's sooooooooooo soft. she's a human cloudddddd!!!! HER VOICE IS JUST SOOOOOO SOOTHING. SHE SHOULD DO ASMR PODCASTS.

even mom is like give up mat karo (on my dumbass son.)

guddu mama is all up in his feelz about ishani being sad. a true empath.

like all desi moms, mom also believes god has all the answers. i don't have a lot of faith in god, but THEIR faith in something bigger gives me strength and reassurance.

ishani also has anika like fear of the dark. not as acute, but she def got a lil nervous.

"andhere gufa mein, roshni ki ek kiran bhi maayne rakhti hai. agar mann mein zara sa bhi ujaala ho, chota hi sahi, toh usse bujhao mat. usse aur roshni karo! "

how fitting, siddhu's mom's name is roshni!

ishani says roshni aunty's wisdom reminds her of dr. shashank, which made mom kinda anxious. WOOP. KUCH TOH CONNECTION HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.

siddhu seems to be quite the reader of medical stuff. likes this book called "staying alive" so much, he has two copies of it!

guddu mama is back to spill tea on siddhu's dil ka haaaaal.

"kal raat ko woh neend mein tumhe sorry sorry bol raha tha."

OH SIDDHU. YOU STUPID ADORABLE CHILD.

ishani's mann ka gufa is all jagmag with roshni now.

———————————————————————

sid continuing with the angsty property destruction on finding ishani in his house. god, men are so fucking stupid.

[bi-lullaby]

No one asked

And I should be studying, but here are some thoughts for season 16 so far:

(SPOILER WARNING, OBVIOUSLY)

1 - Merluca and it’s parts: COUPLES FIGHT STOP PREDICTING THE WORST OK. They’ve been completely adorable so far, but this is what someone said in a interview: “This is the after in happy ever after” (or something to that effect). They’re gonna fight and them they’re gonna make up, I hope. As for their fight: They were both in the right imo. Yes, Meredith is being inconsequent and it must be so frustrating for Deluca to A)Have her continue risking her career and license and freedom when he went to such lengths to help that, B) Be crapped on constantly bc of something your girlfriend did. Yes, Meredith is completely right in fighting the system that is so throughtly broken, and yes, coming to apologize to her mentor and longtime friend was completely the right thing to do. I wanna see merluca wedding and marriage! Maybe (since there are two pregnant people in this season already?) next season will be Mer and Jo? One can dream! For them individually: Poor Mer, she has bitten more than she can chew but she is ready to take on this fight! Imma love to see her as auntie mer! I mis merjolex so much tho, I know she’s been busy and all but they seem to forget she is a important part in their support system. Andrew has been all over the place. I love his confidence, but in the ep where he literally screamed at Bailey over her trying to teach an intern? And called her out bc she was using a different material than Mer? I was a bit off-thrown. But he’s still a great character I enjoy watching. Hope they find the balance between confidence and arrogance for him, and develop him even more!

2 - Amelink: AAAAAA. They’re so amazing and perfect and sweet and I wanna hug them both. Link is everything you could wish for, Amy is adorable as ever. If they lay a finger on either them as a couple, them as individuals, or their baby, imma kick some asses. I don’t think they will tho, Amy is been through SO MUCH already and she deserves a breath.

3 - Bailey: OMG SHE IS PREGNANT AAAAAAAA. I’m so happy! Ben is already a great dad, this will be so fun to watch! Hope they don’t put her through the ringer with a difficult pregnancy or a sick child, she does not deserve this! She already nearly lost her first child while giving birth in a bomb-y hospital while her husband had brain surgery NEXT to the bomb. Enough pregnancy drama for a lifetime. As for her actions: I’ve said before: I’m pissed, yes. She’s acting way too harsh and taking it out on people and more importantly (as I’ve touched on in my female grey’s characters ranking post) she’s out of character. Where is the Bailey that went around the hospital runnning after the attendings and kicking their asses into signing her proposal for a free clinic? And gave them a speech on how they had failed her and she needed something to believe in in medicine? She was one of the first characters to point out how broken the system was, to take direct action to try and fix it. Sure, she likes to try and work within the rules as much as possible, much she is not adverse to breaking a few of them if she thinks it’s necessary (hello deactivated HIV inside a young boy’s body without parental consent! Hello changing the date on a surgery which is also insurance fraud!)! If she thinks it’ll save a life! But also, she’s not completely wrong: Meredith did commit a crime, as good as her intentions were; As her boss, firing her was the only logical decision. She thought her hospital (which she dedicated a good half of her life to) was being attacked by someone she trained into the surgeon she is, ofc she’d be mad as all hell. Quadri was disrespectful, not doing her job well, actively getting in the way of her superior doing her job, screaming at her boss in the middle of the hallway about how she didn’t want to work there - firing her was a tad extreme (specially for a charact who has never, herself, had any qualms ahout mouthing off to her own superiors when she didn’t think something was right) but not completely out of nowhere. I hate hate hate how they’ll probs throw a “oh she was being crazy bc pregnancy hormones!” line after seeing how her actions have been badly perceived by people (like there isn’t enough a stereotype that women can’t have positions of power because hormones make them crazy) instead of “hey this character was put in extremely uncomfortable and tough positiona after extremely uncomfortable and tough positions and came off as harsher than necessary while trying to balance a world-class hospital crisis”. Ugh.

4 - Jackson: Ok so the last few eps have rekindled my love for him and I’m relieved! There’s the good, kind, funny and smart guy I like! I was mad bc of the whole Jaggie drama, but hey, shit happens! If they will be better apart, then I’m happy! (Ok 50% of this is because of what he said to levi! Stanning Meredith Grey + dorky Harry Potter reference? Yes!!!!). I hope this season will be kind on him, that he and Vicky work out well (from what I gathered about it, she has also been through a lot) and that we see more Harriet!

5 - Maggie: Baby girl. I love that they’re consistent that she has a jealous streak but is also a very good person who is always trying her best. Plus, official womb secret bearer is the best title omg! Maybe she should change from cardio to obgyn, lol! Plus, the sisters are everything to me! She instantaneous knew Amy was mad! She stood up for Mer! Aaaaa I love them!!!! Hope this show ends with all three of them happy and loved and badass as always!

6 - Others: Tom has been an.... Interesting piece. I love him, but his antics are almost caricature-esque now and it’s getting on my nerves. He was detestable in exploitating that family’s pain but also, the hospital did need a pr boost or it’d be in even hotter waters! The restraining order on Owen was a tad much bc it got in the way of patient care, but also he did get electrocuted in a very sensitive area by someone who had just gotten together with his ex - I’d be a little suspicious that it was 100% unintentional tbh. He’s power drunk and needs to be turned down a notch. Schmit and Nico and adorkable as always and I loved Nico’s speech about demanding more of himself - That’s one of the biggest traps of low self-steem and Imm glad it’s mentioned. I’ll miss Quadri. Helm being a MeredithGrey stan first and person second is still me lol. I loved how this last ep showed how much of a family they are - all the connections and shared pasts and references to relationships and what not. The “bird” storyline was so cute! Pac North seems so promissing and I’ll cry ugly tears when my baby Alex turns that ish around and shows everyone who’s boss!!!! The whole “the world is broken” theme of the season is my jam! Sadly, irl that handful of people are not gonna turn it around, but I want to see it happen on my screen! The medical system being fixed! As a future doctor (I promissed myself I’d not be the person who brings it up in every opportunity but lol here I am) it’d make me so happy! Against my better judgment, I’m liking Towen! They are trying, they’re really trying! Owen has done nothing wrong so far (besides offering to milk teddy which was just dumb, not malicious) and has been great at stepping down from his job so she could work! And him at Pac North will be great tbh - as much as I didlike him, he is an excellent doctor and strategist and he was a great chief at GS (until the last bit which was just gross negligence). From the promo for next ep: I don’t think they’ll make Webber cheat again. It’d be predictable and cheap and I’d be so mad that we’d have another round of acting like he’s a saint with a tiny issue of being a cheater. What I theorize is: He’ll have lunch with his friend, and either A) She’ll be friendly at the wrong time and Catherine will walk in and then think he’s cheating and it’ll be a mess, or B) Gemma is gonna try to get him back to drinking (Or maybe C) She was telling him to stop being bullheaded and fighting with his wife when life is so short). Cristina reference in the text omg, my heart!

Sorry for the long rant!

[sofreddie]

The Winchester Way - Part 14

Summary: After several months, Sam and the reader talk.

Characters: Sam, John, Y/N, Gadreel (mentioned), Kevin (mentioned), Dean (mentioned)

Word Count: 1,761

Warnings: Angst, Blood, Gore, Violence

A/N: HEED THE WARNINGS!!! Ok, we’ve got some gore-ridden themes coming here. Pretty gross tbh. I had a few ideas last night for enhancing the story a bit and, oh man!, I’m just so excited when they do post! As always, feedback is appreciated. : )

Series Masterlist

Previously…

“I’m saying,” She sighed again, sitting up straight and staring him in the eye, “I’m saying that I don’t belong here. I belong in Heaven, with my Soul.” Sam shook his head frantically, understanding dawning on him. “But I won’t leave without John.” She added. Sam’s mind reeled at her words. Mary stood to leave.

“You and your brother...take back The Way. Make it mean something again.” She whispered sadly before leaving the room. Sam gripped at his hair, his face going red with too much to process. Take back The Way? How? What did she mean? Back to Heaven? So many questions. He didn’t know what to do, who to turn to. He needed Dean.

It had been three months since Y/N had been taken from her home to the Winchester Bunker. She hadn’t left these walls since then. In three months time, she had discovered a secret world within her world. She had lost her father. She had lost her innocence. She had been beaten, tortured, run into the ground, drilled, mocked, humiliated, abused. Day in and day out, there was blood, and pain, and grief. Yet somehow, everyone seemed happy. Y/N wasn’t sure what she felt anymore, if anything. But she knew it most definitely wasn’t happy.

After the incident with Sam and the necklace, Y/N was distraught.

Once the light dissipated in the room, Y/N immediately caught sight of Sam. He was laying on the ground, his whole body in a grotesque seizure, muscles flexed to max, veins popping, skin red and sweaty. He screamed, the most horrible sounds she had ever heard coming from a human being. Even she didn’t scream like that when being tortured. This was a level of pain she couldn’t comprehend. She pitied him.

Y/N heard shouting in the hallway. Her eyes widened, realizing where she was and that surely someone heard the screams and saw the blinding light. She quickly scooped up the remnants of the necklace, stuffing it into her pocket. The door burst open, slamming back against the wall. Y/N jumped at the sound.

Three men poured into the room, followed by John hovering in the hallway. One man ran to Sam, who had just gone silent and limp. The other two snatched up Y/N by either arm, forcing her to walk forward to John. Y/N tried to fight against their hold, even attempting to drag her feet. But the men were too strong. John looked her up and down with a twitch in his eye before demanding she be taken to the dungeons.

Y/N was held in a windowless, concrete room. An iron door with a small barred window the only access. For a week straight - she thinks, not entirely sure - she was left in that room. Food was given to her three times a day. But no one ever spoke a word to her. She had attempted to speak to Gadreel as she saw him walking past. Gripping onto the bars to stand on her tiptoes and look out the window. Gadreel quickly smacked her knuckles on each hand with one swipe of his club. She winced and cried out in pain a her right index finger was broken at the first joint. It was three days and a fever later that someone actually came to see to her injuries.

After that, she was made to help out with feeding the creatures and captives of the dungeon. Turns out, some of the food for the creatures came from some of the captives. Gadreel would talk in depth about it with and air of pride and how Sam had designed it so efficiently. He always seemed to talk of Sam in the highest regard. Luckily, others were responsible for “preparing the dishes”. She merely delivered.

Once her duties were completed, she was assigned to someone else for the day. Sometimes it was Walter, who always had “pain endurance” training. Sometimes she was sent to Jo, helping however she saw fit. Jo often saw fit to corner Y/N and attempt to woo her. The best was when she got to see Kevin. He was always in the library and spent a lot of time helping Y/N with her studies, research, and learning about The Way. Kevin was full of information and he shared it willingly. Some even as hushed whispers. At the end of each day, she was taken back to her cell to stay until the next day. It didn’t matter if she was tired, sick, sore, or hadn’t healed. There were no interruptions to her carefully planned schedule. Until today.

Sam walked hurriedly down the dungeon corridors, slowing to a casual step any time he passed someone. He was rushing. He had finally found a lead on where Dean had been taken nearly three months before. Sam had gone back to the cell he placed him in, but Dean was gone. Sam had tried to find out from John, Mary, and others, but they either didn’t know or told him to stop worrying about it. He did his best to channel his former soulless self in all dealings. But everyone could tell he had lost his edge. John had spent more and more time checking in with him, testing him. Sam always managed to pass the increasingly brutal and grotesque tests, but it was getting harder.

John had kept Sam busy, so he wasn’t able to go to the dungeon. Sam had tried asking to deal with Y/N and pay her back for the attack. But John always told him to be patient, he’ll get his chance. Today, he was finally allowed access to the dungeon, John being satisfied that Sam was still Sam. He had to get to Y/N. He needed to make sure she was ok. He also hoped that she might have seen Dean since she had been living and working in the dungeon so long. He was pretty certain, for whatever reason, that Dean would somehow be near Y/N in one way or another.

He found her, finally, in a long corridor, pushing the trolley that carried bowls and plates of food for the creatures. She was not alone, an unknown brunette woman walking at the front of the trolley with a clipboard. Sam rushed up behind Y/N, grabbing her upper arm and turning to look at her. Y/N froze, seeing Sam for the first time since their altercation. Sam glanced at her, then over to the bloody parts placed in bowls.

Sam’s hair was flailing in and out of his face. Spurts of blood splashed upwards, coating his face in splatter as he continued to hack away at the body before him. John burst into the room, seeing a hacked up body on a gurney, Sam coated in blood, a large butcher’s knife in his hand.

“Sam,” John gasped, unsure what was happening. Sam had been a bit more unpredictable since John had his Soul removed. “Wha - What have you done?”

Sam shrugged, standing straight and wiping the blood off his blade with a dirty cloth. “He was dying, couldn’t be saved.” Sam set the knife on the body then proceeded to remove his black rubber apron.

“He wasn’t dead?!” John asked in shock. “Why did you butcher him?!” John was at a loss. He hadn’t seen such direct cruelty.

“I need to release some steam. He was as good as dead. We can feed him to the creatures. It will probably make them a bit more lively having fresh over exhumed.” He shrugged again, walking past John and out of the room with not a care. John looked back at the mess and thought about Sam. He feared nothing. He did what he wanted because he could. And really, who would dare to stop him? John felt inspired.

“I need to talk to you.” Sam said, staring in Y/N’s eyes, trying to make her see the urgency. She glanced at her brunette partner who simply raised her brows and went back to looking at her clipboard. “Now.” Sam demanded. He felt her body stiffen under his grip, saw the fear on her face. He pulled her roughly, forcing her to fall into step with him as he rounded a few corners and slipped inside a room, closing it shut and listening. Once he was satisfied no one was there or coming, he turned to Y/N.

The sight of her broke his heart. She wore several bruises and cuts on her face and body. He could see rope burns on her wrists, blood on her fingers from serving the bowls. Her hair was a mess and she looked very sleep deprived. As he made to move towards her, she jumped, flinching in response to the sudden and harsh movement on her body.

“I’m not gonna hurt you.” Sam whispered, his throat dry. “Not anymore.” He added, a deep sadness in his tone. Y/N kept quiet, nodding to show she heard him, but keeping her guard up nonetheless. “I’ll cut to the point. Have you seen Dean?” He asked, running a hand through his hair.

Y/N nodded again, lowering her gaze to the floor.

“Tell me, please. I need to find him.” Y/N was caught off guard, he eyes shooting up to his. Sam’s tone was different, his stance, his body language. The more she noticed the more this seemed like a completely different person. She took a cautious step towards him.

“What happened to you?” Y/N asked, taking slow steps to stand in front of him.

“The necklace.” Sam swallowed. “It had my Soul trapped inside.” He wasn’t sure what else to say. How to explain everything he had done. It still didn’t seem excusable to him. Y/N watched him carefully for several moments before taking a step back to provide more space between them.

“I see him every day. Sometimes he takes over training me. Sometimes he just...hovers.” Sam nodded. He could tell from her demeanor that John had successfully reprogrammed Dean once more. That would make things harder.

“When do you see him next?” Sam asked, trying to formulate a plan.

“After feeding. I’m supposed to report to him for physical training.” She looked to the floor again. Physical training was essentially fighting, sparring. Y/N actually enjoyed the hand-to-hand combat. But Dean didn’t go easy and Y/N always ended on her back, in pain.

“Ok,” Sam nodded, “come with me.”

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