#tbh ? i dont really know what this is i just had the idea
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"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi the suckening#arthur bennett#HEY SO THE REALLY FUNNY THING THAT THE CHARACTER DID THAT SEEMED RLY SILLY N GOOFY IN THE MOMENT?#LIKE THE WHIPLASH BETWEEN SERIOUS N SILLY ALMOST PISSED YOU OFF? WHAT IF I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SAD ABOUT IT#this was meant to be a scribble that would be a bigger part of a bigger page.might leave it on that page.#but still. bc o that i nearly posted it onto my wacky side blog.BUT NAYY I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME N ENERGY N YOU GOTTA SEE IT#ARTHUR BENNETT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I FEEL LIKE ITS ODD FOR HIM TO BE SO TECHNOLOGICALLY OUT OF TOUCH#WHERE HAS HE BEEN. HAS HE BEEN IN WAR? IS THAT WHERE MAGNUS CAME FROM? WHERE WAS HE WHEN HE WAS WITH EDWARDS CREW?#ARTHURRR I HAVE QUESTIONS ARTTHUUURR!! HEY CAN I ALSO ASK; WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BECOME#DO YOU THINK HE HAD ANY IDEA HE WOULD VEER CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MONSTER HE DESPISES. ALL BC HE DESERVES IT. OR WATEVER#HE FASCINATES ME SO MUCH. TO LOOK AT THE STONE COLD STOIC FOOL FROM THE START OF THE SHOW#AND TO FIND OUT THAT HE USED TO BE A BAD BOY.. A DELINQUENT... A LIL PRANKSTER.... MY GODDD THATS ADORABLE#I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE.... BUT I DOUBT THE LAST EPISODE IS GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS..i love arthur bennett so much....#AS FOR THE ART!! i mostly used the fire alpaca watercolor brush. tbh im not a brush guy. anti aliased default pen tends to be my main game#but LATELY IM SQQQUIRMIN OUT OF AN ARTBLOCK so expirimenting like this is helping#DONT LOOK TOO HARD AT IT!! im still proud tho. colors are fun :3 im also very proud of the backgrounds#I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors#what else can i ramble abt. OH YEAH. i looked up the bikes to make sure they were time accurate tehehehe. 1913 to 2012.#almost a century apart!! isnt that neat? ALSO FUUUCK CAN I JUST MAKE A QUICK CONFESSION. DOWN HERE IN MY TAGS.#only the strongest can read my tags anwyay. SO I REALIZED WHY I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH. TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE#while arthur is a Stoic and Cool vampire w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORs#THERE HAPPENS TO BE A ROBOT FROM A BAND W A TITANIUM ALLOY SPINAL COLLUMN#WHOS A Stoic and Cool ROBOT w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORS#the fuckkkiiinnngggnn The Spine from steam powered giraffe. WHATEVER. i cant escape from my heart. i guess.#i think The Spine and Arthur could be friends. Arthur saw the band perform back when they were the Steam Man Band#EDIT: WOOPS I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WOULD END UP IN THE SPG TAG. HI GUYS DIDNT KNOW U WERE STILL ALIVE SORREE 4 THE CROSS CONTAMINATION
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MAN I'm seriously so sad about season 2. Bc I wish act 2 had the same emotional impact on me as it appears to have on so many others. But rn I'm just somewhere between unable to care and actively annoyed by some of those writing decisions. Seriously the more I think about it the less I like it.
#act 3 come through please 🙏#I don't think it can salvage some of the things I have contentions with but still... please...#don't ask me about the silco vander flashback with jinxs + vis mom#or the bizzare choice to do so much of the storytelling through this weird music video format they've got going on#completely stripping it of the weight these plot beats could've had if they were... normal scenes#and also missing the point of how the music was used in season 1 and what made it so effective#bc it was complementary to instead of replacing the storytelling#seriously don't ask me about these things I will spontaneously implode on the spot#whyyyyy would they recontextualize season 1 like this with that flashback#to me it kind of ruins the character dynamics and themes in s1. it just makes me so sad you have no idea#also what even are they doing with Jinx rn for real#aaarghhhh just... so many things that are making me scratch my head#also I'm so terribly sorry but I could not care less about Isha sorry lol#like i get that its sad conceptually but she was such a non-character that i struggle to feel impacted at all#same with sky tbh. i thought her role in s1 was alright but there is so much emotional weight put on her now#in terms of her relationship to Viktor but that was barely established so it's weird to have her around#and clearly you're supposed to care but they haven't given me much reason to#isha and sky were non-characters just there to die to further the development of other characters#they didn't really have anything going on on their own and that's just a type of character and plot device that does nothing for me#also i thought the war between zaun and piltover + internal struggles in zaun bc silcos gone would be the main focus#but that stuff seems so sidetracked rn#also sorry i dont like what they did with vander and warwick either. that man should've stayed dead lol#it honestly just makes his death feel less impactful and i dont know what this is supposed to do for the story or the themes???#that just feels like a pointless plotline that is taking up time that could've been spent on other things#i just... i could go on like this for a while like there are so many things that just puzzle me#it's so weird considering how tight and thematically consistent season 1 was#let's see where act 3 goes but... i kinda have a bad feeling about it ngl#obv im glad others are enjoying it and this is just my opinion! also a lot of this are probs just my personal tastes anyway#arcane spoilers
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people who still make Joey the ink demon despite canon steering far away from that being the case this is for you I am sending u kisses XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3
People who make Joey well-meaning, sympathetic, a lighter shade of morally grey than canon I am also sending u lots of love <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3!!
And people who generally steer wildly from the direction Bendy takes with its characters and has fun with it I hope to see more from all of ur aus and rewrites!!
#ramblez#batim#batdr#this is not me saying aus that don't do this r bad blah blah I just personally have a super soft spot for Joey being the ink demon#since I really like the idea storywise the symbolism of Joey becoming the ultimate monster of this story#joeys who also take a very sympathetic role who are more morally grey than canon also hold a special place in my heart#joeys who think what theyre doing is right not just for them but for their staff who genuinely care abt them who love them mwah#I just love to see very unique takes on these characters I kinda miss when it was only like chapter 2 so everyone had this wildly#different but very unique and fun takes on where we thought the story would head hell for a while we didn't know if Joey was evil or not#thats what spawned Encore it was originally just a collection of theories I thought would come true#esp since I dont think bendy is a particularly well written story its fun to see the fandom have such fun wild ideas on where to take#the concepts and idea presented in bendy that never really panned out into anything interesting or were discarded or retconned#yknow? I miss the days where the aus were wildly out of sync with the actual story when all we had was a few names a few tapes#and we all went wild making our versions of the story and characters and then got so attached to them we doubled down#when canon didnt deliver on em#umm oops this is long have a great new year folks! Get wild get weird with ur bendy aus and rewrites#lets have fun this year and take canon as optional bc lets face it Bendy isn't great but man is it fun and I care abt that way more than#the quality of the story tbh#it had great ideas and executed them uh badly! But idc bc I can stir those great ideas in my head all day and see others do the same <3#anyways yeah thats it love ya guys have a great 2024 <3
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trying to start working on my ap art summer work (put it off all summer and now theres. 10 days left until school starts apperently) i hateeeee how vague everything is ugh
#i forgot how much of a nightmare this teacher is to work with she just. never specifies enough and it drives me insane#<- ive had her multiple years now idk why she even let me take the ap class considering when i had her freshman year i literally didnt do a#single assignment for that class but i wont complain i guess lol#though tbh.. im not really sure why im even taking it i mean my friend said i should#but idk#man i dont know what to do though like#i brought this upon myself but still. why does this all have to be so vague#also i need like a themeing… i dont know man!!!!!!!!!!!!! im the most indecisive person on the planet and i never plan out pieces most of#the time. i just get rhe urge to Draw Character In Void and figure it out from there#if i start to working on a sketch… im just gonna keep working on it until i finish????#i wish i could do animation or smth. for my pieces i feel like that would backfire on me but like#itd work better within the structure she wants us to follow i think……… then again all i animate is jsut#stupid little loops or like. dumb stuff set to songs or goofy audios#idfk#inquisitivewaltz.txt#also also i have no idea if im allowed to do my summer work digitally#but im doing it that way anyways cuz it gives me more options (and i feel liek ill figure out smthn i like the look of more easily than#traditional since im just not the greatest with that..#plus i dont have any empty sketchbooks to dedicate to this class and i cant just buy one now yknow
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tfw you have ideas in your noggin but can't properly convey them
ignore the yellowish doodles as it was just kinda brainstorming but the "fractures" thing and loose concept of the more concrete version is kinda what i really wanted to get out
exploring ideas on like, ig how to interpret God (for HH purposes)? dunno my brain kept thinking of The Stranger from Slay The Princess.
in a way of, i cant think of one idea of how to interpret them so fuck it its all of them
also kinda had the thought process of, well i still see them as a void being and its kinda funny imagining that if side b is forced to obey the whole equilibrium between "good" and "bad", then would be funny if God had to in a way as well but creates other beings (the angels) to do it for them so it just casually bypasses that
which is also really funny since the concept of good and bad likely came from them in the first place since its not like the void literally had anything like that beforehand
idk loose random brain rot brainstorming imma probably not come back to this concept again
#ukureticence#ichor's blessing#random character concept#i needed to get it out of my noggin before it drove me insane#couldnt draw it even remotely how i imagined it really but uhhh i got the base idea of it out there#i dont have the energy or patience to do research for an actually good concept for how God (for Hazbin Hotel) would look like#so i kinda just use other people's things of them#and like#most things i do are self inserting into other universes or something#then i had the thought of#what if#i literally just took all those ideas that i adore and mash em into something im happy with#so boom we kinda did it#ish#i had like 5 interpretations of god in mind since i think i only really know four now im thinking about it.#i legit can only remember the name of the creator of three right now#which is hunterkhean - astralpunkass and of course folieradis#again im not expecting this topic revisited i just wanted to get the brain rot out#because it feels like i have to make concepts of the archangels if i do and my head will literally implode if i try#i design stuff i dont do lore or research just random loose concepts#even then i like hunterkhean's and ladi's designs/interpretations too much to really even want to make my own tbh#i mash things together in my head and call it a day which accidentally makes one massive collab except nobody knows they're collabing#since its all in my head#okay im done brain rotting#a cone's musing
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not to immediately move on from my hockey-induced revelations about human connectedness and also no one asked but my hand-me-down favourite hockey guy is adam lowry of the winnipeg jets. if you were curious.
#mr jets captain himself… he was not captain when i was introduced to him. he had only just kissed brandon tanev in the skip the dishes tast#buds video. ohh skipthedishes winnipeg jets taste buds video we’re really in it now… such a culturally important video to me. she deserves#verything. maybe ive inflated the importance of the moment in my mind but who knows who i would be today if i hadnt seen my cousins fucking#CROSS STITCH of brandon tanev and adam lowry kissing on the mouth hanging in their bedroom. ‘whos that’ i said having no idea what i was ab#ut to be shown. i dont believe my cousin is a tumblr user but shout out to them forever. truly one of the top people in my life tbh.#ANYWAY ! also sorry for not just adding this as a reblog on my prev post i decided it was getting too long. as are these tags !#all this to say. if i start posting hockey. it’s not at fucking random its been years in the making#eyes rambles#hockey breakdown
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star trek tng s5e5 disaster would be such a beautiful name for a babygirl btw
#HUGE fan of putting those guys in situations and this ep has truly delivered on that front#everyones so beautifully out of their depth. picard cant do anything cause hes stuck in a turbolift with 3 random kids#worf delivers keiko's baby (featuring the lifechanging line 'u may now give birth'). data is decapitated.#beverly and geordi start a plasma fire in the cargo bay and almost get vacuumed out of the ship while putting it out.#the only people with access to the bridge are deanna chief obrien ensign ro (who had just joined the enterprise crew like 2 eps before)#and another ensign who gets like 1.5 lines in total for some reason. deanna is technically in charge#but somehow has no idea how the ship works despite being a senior officer. idk that felt so weird tbh she must have had required training#plus shes surrounded by this stuff all the time and shes really quite smart like i cant believe she wouldnt have at least some idea#of whats going on. like ro literally knows way more than her so at least it doesnt stand out so much as an 'haha woman dumb' thing#however i do admit that the part where they had to spell out to her that the ship is gonna explode if they dont do anything did deliver#in terms of comedic effect#these tags r way too long and im sure no ones reading em anymore anyways but yeah. tng s5e5 what an episode ! loved it so much <33#thots
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Loving all the Mine chat today! In a world where neither of them have Daigo to fixate on (for whatever reason) what do you think interactions between Mine and Masato/Aoki would be like? All your comics have them obv pitted against one another (always gives me a giggle gotta say!!) but I'm curious bout your thoughts on them/their potential interactions if Daigo wasn't part of the equation. I think they could be so evil together in whatever capacity. Real "I could make him worse" territory.
Sorry if this is a bit silly (I know removing Daigo removes a lot of other things too) I just love listening to you talk about guys ™️ lmao
i am a renowned Guy(TM) Talker this is a fair thing to assert
BUT honestly they'd probably like. not be friends or Sincerely get along but they'd probably use each other one way or another if given the opportunity: aoki wanting to exploit mine's skills, knowledge, and wealth, all the while mine At Least keeping an eye on aoki's influence (and if he wanted to do his homework probably keep tabs on the arakawas) and considering if it'll have potential use down the line. it's not like it's hard to imagine them having similar ideologies or morals either
mine'd absolutely loathe aoki's pride in his philosophy tho- even if it does align with his own somewhat LMAO
#snap chats#tl;dr they could be collaborators that hate each other#aoki'd prob be gaga over mine's potential use to him tbh lol#LIKE yes mine generally has a distrust of people and doesnt believe in them but at his core he also wants to#hence why he'd just. despise aoki's blatant narcissism LMAO its a gross mirror to look at#at the very least mine wasnt proud of his philosophy when he told kiryu about it. it seemed more of an unfortunate fact of life#very big difference compared to to aoki's enthusiasm and almost giddiness to use and dispose of people#all the while without harboring /too deeply/ of a want to connect with others#evidently we find out deep in his evil black little soul he did want SOME kind of connection and normalcy#but it wasn't as. so to say as much of a 'romantic' want as it was for mine#and i dont mean in terms of ACTUAL romance just in that. take mine joining the yakuza for example#he had a very romantic idea of 'the bonds between men' and so on and so forth#like ultimately his goal was sincere relationships- all the while aoki's goal was. ????#like i KNOW what it is but as a person.. scratching my head now that i actually have to label it#i guess he really did want admiration from others in the end and to not feel so 'weak' or 'broken' anymore#idk i guess the lines can blur if you try hard enough but im rambling LOL bye
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Once I learn the difference between me having a crush and me being (hyper)fixated on a person, it's all over
#miranda talking shit#Autism tag#I do kinda have some idea.... But its hard. I think the biggest difference is how nervous and 'diffrent' i am around them#As usual i struggle to say excatly what it is im feeling for a person. I just know at the bottom i care about them a lot#But do i have a crush or am i just fixated bc they are intresting to me? Who knows lmao#The few moments i had my doubts with fabian it was fine tbh. But my fixation with him was intense bht short-lived#Now im just like... He baby. I got an idea how he works so i am no longer obsessed#Unfortunately oliver ive still not gotten an handle on. I found him intresting from the first few months of knowing him#But after a year it just became way deeper since we started to discuss such topics. Now I'm like... I probably dont have a crush on you#I probably just really want to understand you. But who knows honestly but please talk to me more i got to ask more things#As i turned 18 and had my breaking point and then started to recover and meet a lot of new different people...#I slowly but surely got so intrested in people unlike myself. Usually unknown things scare me but something changed and since then it just#Wants me to hear more and understand as much as i can about them. Guess its my autistic brain seeing them as a mystery or a puzzle#Challenging things mentally like that really is something i love. I love to think and thoerize and wonder. I do however hate it#Like... I feel creepy about it. I know i dont feel this way intentionally but i also can't tell anyone about it without them thinking im#Weird or creepy etc. Or i guess i am scared people will think i dont care about people but just want to study them? Its more the other way#Around. I care about people and thus want to understand them? Dont enjoy it though. It feels wrong and i feel guilty :')
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i come up with ideas based on the most random things because wdym i just rambled on about fucking fingers and decided,,,, heh,,,,, yeah. this is a good idea. well i mean i do think it IS a good idea but also like in hindsight and out of context i do think its totally fucking stupid. angel92 ahh post 💀💀💀
anyways i was thinking about mtt and fingers and which ones they would lose as a result of being with eachother but then that also means that i'd have to give specific meanings to the fingers (ughhhh,,,,,) ok lets see. pointer finger would represent precision and clear vision because you literally use it to specifically gesture to things. middle finger is like ughh vulgarity and hatred because its the middle finger. the ring finger (heh! i already spoke about this one because of the myth that its connected to the heart and also holds wedding rings) represents love and the pinkie represent promise (PINKIE PROMISE!) and the thumb represents basic functioning and interpretations (because the thumb helps us literally hold things and also thumbs up and down shows your view on things)
i think if i just tack this idea onto the other post about ring fingers then it would be kinda unrealted + plus too long SO ITS GOING HERE. all the mtt are missing ring fingers because i said so. dust is missing an index finger because if the trio break up he's the only one that wouldnt have anywhere/one to go. also he'd struggle to smoke and i think that horror would always complain about him smoking so it'd be like horror's still kinda there warding him off from smoking even though he's not there anymore. horror would lose his middle finger because he'd probably be the most agressive against kist in mttpoly and now without them there he's kinda chilled out. but also the agression and spark isnt there and now he's stuck in plain old boring regular horrortale again which isnt all that fun,,,, even if dust an killer sucked fighting was a way to pass time. but horror would never admit that. and i think killer could lose a thumb (ill be fr im just running out of fingers to use here. next thing yk i'll start talking about TOES) and then he'd struggle to hold knives normally now. he literally can't hurt others the way he hurt horror and dust (but also that could also mean that killer just has to come up with more creative ways to main. or also his reduced actions could result in him causing less trouble and therefore having less threats. depends on if killer wants to be a bit more knife happy or just chil,,,,,, you KNOW i gotta go with the knife happy idea mtt NEVER get a break and if they do i immediately forget about it)
dude imagine them with all these missing fingers 💀💀💀 that shit would lookd SO weird
#triglycercule's on a BIT of a roll coming up with ideas#i dont particularly know why tbh i guess i've just gotten over this slump of not having ideas#i already have 3 other decent ISH ideas in my notes app i should probably figure thst out#and then of course i have my ever growing pile of drafts on here#i cleared some of them out so now i have 40~ but thats still a SHITTON of ideas ive yet to post#on the other post ive yet to post i got too fucking into the idea#like WDYM the mtt would all just COINCIDENTALLY lose their ring fingers#its a cool idea tho..... just seems a bit unfeasible to me but whatever everything is impossible snyways#i have summer homework due on tuesday ive yet to do i should REALLY probably do that#and a test im 90% sure im gonna BOMB on monday. its the EIGHTH DAY OF FUCKING SCHOOL AND A TEST#i havent even gotten used to doing HOMEWORK again and my bitchass math techer is giving us a TEST.... smh old people#anyways mtt have 2 hands all so they can beat eachother up#polyamory solves everything but the solution isn't all much healthier than if the trio just fucking stayed ALONE 😭😭😭😭#ugh i need them all to kill eachother SERIOUSLY and then they feel bad but also satisfied about it but also bad but also#what would that feeling be like as a word. what word would that be (asks killer because he doesnt know shit about emotions$#they are NOT doomed by the narrative but ALSO NOT soulmates in every universe (debatable in my head)#but instead they were never meant to be together and because they were never meant to be together they simply dont work#but just having that constant even if it hurts and you hate it and everything it stands for when you've had nothing that understands you#is just kinda like. damn. okay i might stay like this for a while#they are not doomed by the narrative they are doomed by each other#gawwwdddd i love mtt so much..... mttpoly..... they were mesnt to be#but didn't you just say they weren't??? ok MAYBE but its because theyre all such terrible fits thst they were meant to be#they all match eachother's freaks in a way that no other utmv character can. mtt gets mtt#the mtt have so many parallels i really should make a graph or something#they all have scary faces!!!! kinda. killer with the chara scary face#horror with his black drooly pissed face and i guess dust's shadowed out face could be scary#but i think that face would be scarier if there were realistic human eyes peeking out but wtvr#anyways all have scary face what else. theres so much more its not even funny they seriously are meant to be together#if always together in fandom art and writing and other depictions then why not poly??? why not TOGETHER together??? why mtt seperate???#tricule rant
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very freeing to actually own up (to myself) abt post-ph being an au. now i can make a little list of the little ways it deviates from leading to st
#i do not want to play st but i know vaguely enough to know where post ph deviates#rn its just tetra deciding not to find a new hyrule and linebeck being gay and unwilling and unable to have biological kids#with tetra ive been thinking kf her having a bit of a thing on realizing that she is technically what remains of hyrule#and it is ultimately up to her whether or not to let the kingdom remain a memory or to bring it back#and she eventually decides not to. try and erect a new kingdom in a world where people really dont even want that#like theres the whole thing abt the great sea being a dead zone or w/e and then theres fish in st. what is it#my hc for that is that the water around old hyrule is a dead zone but the further out the get the better things get#like the old kingdom is some blight under the seas and its not until its finally properly laid to rest does that dead zone fully disappear#look i know the gods fucking flooded hyrule but i honestly think its a biiiit much if they just gave the survivors a dead fucking ocean#that would likely lead to them just dying out with the only way out being to make the kingdom again#yknow the kingdom they fucking flooded. i feel like hyrule being re-established is fucking stupid and i think#mass-settling everyone on some landmass is a lot less interesting than everyone living one different islands and adjusting to this sea base#life. yknow? like i feel like theres a lot that can be done with islands with different geographies and cultures and populations#and also i think hyrule should stay gone i like the idea of the ww side of things being the one where the cycle ends#and so the world is free is from the cycle perpetuated by the kingdom’s existence and demise’s curse#i always think of demises curse as just being. as long as ur kingdom exists and whatnot there will be no peace#rather than a literal reincarnation cycle. its just. hyrule sucks and theres also a heros spirit thing#like theres a postal service and people are traveling and they have cultures and shit like. its not a hell situation#ppl are moving on and theres no kingdom to lord over all of them so they all have their own ways of life in their corners of the world#idk i think its interesting to think abt how the great sea world works and the different peoples and islands and how they go abt life#its more interesting to me than anyways yeah they are not free from the endless cycles of history and just make hyrule again#post-ph#salty talks#wanted to talk and didnt know what to talk abt so have a tag post#with a rlly tiny side of yeah post ph linebeck is sterile he got that shit removed bc he didnt want that there anyways#bottom surgery (or whatever its called its a hysterectomy) exists in the great sea. isnt there brain surgery mentioned#they got hrt in the great sea either its magic or its. idk potions. maybe the great sea era has decent medicine that seems to be the idea#tbh its not clear what happened to lead to st anyways i can just keep track of clear discrepancies#ill be honest im still iffy on the details with intersex linebeck and that. is an issue#i go with rn that he has ambiguous/female leaning genitals and had a malformed uterus and ovotestes that got removed
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had an adhd zoning out moment where i was trying to mix this paint bc one of my paints dried out bc i haven’t worked on this painting in a yr lol and i got paint all over my hands and for some reason used my leg as a palette which wasn’t that helpful bc when i was like ok that looks right it was too yellow in the end 😔 right at the end i added a little more of the bright orange bc i thought it wasn’t yellow enough but it prob was & my dumb leg didn’t show it right…..but anyway i did that for like 2 hrs by accident 😭
#michelle speaks#i should have just mixed the bright orange w white & i would have gotten it a lot easier#but i didn’t realize i had a bright orange so also the color was not yellow it was like a pale color that was slightly tinted yellow#so i was like ok i will use the color one above it which was this kind of peachish color & then i added white to that#but this was before i realized the yellow tint bc i made it lighter but it was just closer to tan now so i was like oh…..#but i had no idea how to make it be more yellow so i looked it up & saw i could use a little green perhaps#so i went to use the lightest green but that was dried out (i dont have any more of that number tho thankfully)#so i had to use the slightly darker green very sparingly it was only slightly darker too so still light#which did start giving it a more yellowish tint but not a bright yellow more of a dull yellow#and that was the point at which i realized i had bright orange & i was like oh……i should have just used this#too late at that point tho! so i added the bright orange & it finally started brightening up a little bit#but i was like i don’t want this to get too orange now so i added a little more white#and then i was like ok done. i had the paint that was dry bc it got like a rubbery quality so i was putting some paint on it to compare#& it looked to be basically the right color. the problem was that i either did not use this color at all yet or i used it like one time#so i never really had a good thing to compare it to bc i didn’t really know how it looked on the paper#but when i used it it def came out as a nice pale yellow. so i made a nice color just a little too yellow i think#i think i was going more for tan w a yellow tint vs getting more of a pale yellow which i got#but it is what it is i’m done 😩 it’s a nice color & def different from the other colors + close enough to the og so i am satisfied#you’re welcome for the step by step thru me mixing a paint color for 2 hrs 🙏#most impressive part is the fact that i actually achieved some yellow tbh lol…..i did not think i could do it w the colors i had at first 😩
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love opening up to someone who you thought you were friends with and that you could trust about being queer (not that you ever even hid it around them in the first place) and what it’s like living in a transphobic household only for them to respond that they love you but can’t support you and that they don’t know how they’d react if their own kid was queer
and by love i mean absolutely fucking hate
#tw mention of anti-queer talk#tw homophobia/transphobia#(i dont really know what else to call it)#this happened to me last night and it literally took me until just now to even begin to try to process it#literally in the moment i was just shocked#like#how is that a good way to react to someone opening up like that???#maybe im missing something but that just seems shitty#like i was trying to#i dont know#defend myself???#but i just got so flustered and was stumbling over my words#thankfully one of my friends cut in and shut down the conversation (cause she could tell i was distressed)#and i had several people who im friends who overheard come up to me after and apologize and say they’d always love and support me#but i literally just went over to my best friend (whos also queer)#and dragged them into a corner#and then just sobbed my eyes out#i dont know im so used to just dealing with my parents saying shit i guess#that i thought id be able to handle a situation like that just fine#but like i could barely even think let alone breathe#and the people (cause it was two people) who said that shit#are people i still have to be around#and i have no idea how i can do that because literally just thinking back on it is making me tremble#so how the fuck am i supposed to see them in person?#advice would be very much welcomed tbh
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#fave#videos#thank yoooooooou#you get it#characters arent people and people arent characters#people irl deserve redemption. characters dont need to have redemption and sometimes its hurtful to the story if they do#i COULD make a redemption arc for zero-- but it would be stupidly complicated within my characters relationships given whats hes done in#the past. plenty of my ocs still would never want to be in the same room with him. it just adds unnecessary coffee au drama thats just not#the focus of my story at all. and hes not even a real person. hes an idea- an amalgamation of bad experiences I and others have had#manifested into one being that seeks to inflict these pains#likely his redemption arc would come from no longer being a vampire. but idk where he would go. and i really dont care to write it tbh#i have other minor antagonists I think would be better suited for a redemption arc than him. hes just done too much shit.#just in the same way a lot of azula stans would say ozai is irredeemable thats how I feel about zero.#and its how I feel about azula too tbh. yeah her story is sad and its possible to sympathize with but shes like a machine at this point#her humanity has been stripped away by her abusive father- and I dont think it would serve the narrative to have her suddenly appear#in a therapists office and crying about her trauma or whatever.#in this video he mentions how some ppl think its more 'realistic' to have her redeemed but... i really dont think it is bud#clearly you have not dealt with an azula in your real life. they're impossible to get along with and MOST people stop interacting w them.#they do end up isolated and alone bc of their actiosn. even if those actions are informed by a complex abuse system.#its sad but its also an important story to tell so people can at least maybe see themselves going down that route and stop themselves#characters help give examples to people of what would've happened if they made this or that choice. and thats the purpose azulas narrative#shows. irl people deserve a second chance and thats why we make these stories so they can know to try to avoid acting a certain way that#will only in the end harm their chance at a second chance.#not that its impossible- just that less people will be willing to go along w you on it than there would've been before you fell down hard
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I wish that I was more
#sad hours at the huskin bee#personal#graduating soon and the animation department is collecting photos of everyone in the drive#and seeing all these group photos of everyone in the program makes me realize how distant i am from them#and how close knit everyone else has become...#ive never been good at making friends and within like the first few weeks of school it was like everyone got to know each other#and the few friends i made in the program left after the first year#i wish my social anxiety wasnt so bad i tried harder to make friends in college#also i have an essay due on monday and i might just not do it#or itll be really half assed#ive been doing well so far in that class so if i dont do it i think the least id get is a C#idk maybe i can still make friends w these ppl after college somehow but itd still feel weird bc i had a completely different shm experience#than they had#ahhhh#i can imagine a future reunion where ppl will talk to be about old drama that was big among this giant friend group#that consists of most people in my year that ill have no idea what theyre talking abt#bc im never in the loop abt anything ever lol#this actually happened at my hs animation reunion except i actually knew and talked to most ppl in that class#i wasnt like super close to most of them but i had a few closeish friends#and i know one of those friends probably werent/arent in the know#also like i did hear abt relationship drama back in the day bc gossip spread p easily#anyways i was told completely new information abt someone getting stalked back then so thats wild#and apparently there was a super handsome guy in our class that i for some reason have zero recollection of#point is i be the last person to know something and if i know smth then everyone probably already knew#which is annoying. i wanna hear gossip too. even in my own family my sisters will tell each other and our mom about shit that went down w#their friends or our cousins and i only hear abt it when im in the room#so i end up hearing a lot but never directly and sometimes not in full#man i shouldve gone on more college field trips#shouldve done a lot more in life that my insecurities get the way of#tbh i genuinely think i might have a form of undiagnosed anxiety; tism; or some other mental disorder
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Your brain ever just randomly decide you have a crush on someone on tumblr you arent even mutuals with and’ve had one conversation with and it was like a year ago
#they remind me of another one of our partners tbh. maybe thats it#or maybe theyre just our type#we dont really think of that type as our type but the pattern between these two is not subtle#one time they called us a ‘friend’ which surprised us and made us overwhelmingly happy#we had been mutuals with one of their mutuals but that mutual seems to’ve unfollowed us#wonder why /not mad#i mean we havent really liked our blog’s vibe either lately so thats fair#i assume neither of those people will ever see this#im not writing for them to see it im just rambling to myself#curious if they do though#feel free to give it a like#kinda wanna find an excuse to talk to that sys again but no idea what i could possibly say#other than just hey i think im love with you#i wanna say ill get over it because those feelings literally came over me as i started writing this#but knowing myself i do Not get over feelings ever#oh well. add ‘em to the feelings pile i guess#lilac posts
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