#tbf they all are a joy to look at when making music

[charlie-rulerofhell]

Just read your tags on that Gerrit about (about the faces he pulls) and you put that to words so absolutely beautifully. It's honestly an honour we get to see him so passionate about his music. It's also probably the reason why I'm so abnormal about that man

gerrit‘s musical talent will always be beyond my understanding tbh :D of course a large part of that is just his naturally given absolute pitch, plus getting supported by his family musically since a very young age, but even with knowing that it will never stop me from being in complete disbelief whenever he puts his hands on the piano keys and just plays a melody he has only heard a few times before. music just seems to be flowing through his veins, and especially as a (well, dabbling, compared to gerrit) musician myself, it fills me with so much joy and admiration seeing him play, and feel the music.

[sunny-reis]

Can I request headcannons with poly vbs reader who's like wonyoung from ive?

(Job and appearance wise)

hcs - vvbs w/a wonyoung-like reader

an: you bet your ass you can !! i saw wonyoung and did a little jump for joy (mentally)

tags: somewhat-feminine!reader, idol!reader, reader's a member of more more jump! or some adjacent j-pop group, ppl give idol!reader shit (much like wonyoung) but they handle it like the slayboss they are

🎀 okay first of all

🎧 bc you're wonyoung-like i have to clarify that yes, ppl on the internet criticize you for no fucking reason ! not cool but it izz what it izz

🍓 you don't let it bother you because you're just Better Than That (plus you're rich, loved, and confident, why should you?)

🎀 assume you're a very popular, well-liked member of mmj! and you've had a pretty large following from a past career as a soloist

🎧 i hc an and akito as big idol fans (akito would rather die than have you find out he used to be a die-hard fan of yours, posters and merch and all stashed in his closet), so they'd definitely support you at gigs and performances!! front row seats and banners babeyyyy

🍓 kohane doesn't really listen to idol music and toya... is toya. but they'd prefer to watch you dance/dance with you!! especially during the rare moments when your normally-PACKED schedule is empty for once !!

🎀 watch you three be stuck in the company practice rooms for hours on end (assuming akito and an join later/for less time since they're Busy doing Stuff . yeah)

🎧 now for specifics !!

🍓 akito defends you from antis online . user ynlover123? that's him [he has multiple side accounts on every social media you can think of]

🎀 every time a clip of you doing something random but Cutely (like wony's little happy dance and the video of her eating a strawberry) you get So Much shit for it. god forbid a girl (g/n) do anything

🎧 Haters be hating 😂

🍓 an is a full on fansite dude (idk why but she seems like a photographer to me. i haven't played through the vvbs story don't @ me)

🎀 fansign? concert in tokyo? popup event? coffee shop event? private performance? she's there with her big ahh camera and filters and light boxes

🎧 you think you look ridiculous in the pictures she takes but to Literally Everyone Else you look ethereal !! like that one relatively recent pic of wony at the airport - everyone (but you) goes wild bc. yeah

🍓 kohane and toya are there to comfort you and make sure you take care of yourself when things get rough

🎀 ik that sounds generic and bland as hell but HEAR ME OUT !!!

🎧 i hc kohane is like a walking heater!! she gives the best hugs that make you never wanna get up from bed (best lazy day partner fr)

🍓 toya isn't a good cook but he'd try to make snacks and your favorite food for you !! good thing you had to take acting classes bc ... he could've tried harder 🗿

🎀 thankfully he can at least cut fruit without losing a limb, so in classic asian mom fashion, he brings you plates of fruit when you're feeling down - he and kohane make sure you finish it all (and kohane sneaks some pieces while toya's not looking 😁)

🎧 (tbf she looks like a squirrel bc of how chubby her cheeks are - im not immune to the kohane rodent agenda)

🍓 all in all i feel like it'd be a really understanding relationship with poly!vvbs - they're dancers so they get how tiring it is, and especially with industry-induced worries, they'd be there to support you and make you feel loved no matter what!

[hannahlovesluca]

hey hey! i saw you were doing ninisani matchups and i wanna request one pretty please 👉🏻👈🏻 if not then that’s okay!

Gender: Female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: I am straight, basic like that but boobies are hot.

Zodiac: Pisces. the fish.

Appearance: I am 5’4 and have pretty long hair that reaches my waist, it’s brown but the inside part of my hair is dyed purple currently, it was pink until a few days ago! I also have big boobies, they are my pride and joy, my personal stress balls (heh balls). I am fair skinned i’d say, my eyes are HUGE bro it’s a jumpscare, they’re also green so that makes it so funny when i look at someone with fully opened eyes randomly. the way i dress is very random because one day i will be looking like an angsty teen and the other day i will be looking like a business woman, but i do put too much effort into the way i look.

MBTI: I AM IN ENFJ and i do take the test every year, that’s what i get

Personality: Dude if it wasn’t obvious by now i am literally like a little too extroverted. I ADORE being around people, in fact i find it to be so easy to just make a random conversation with anyone on the street. If i think someone looks cool i will go talk to them and become friends, literally collecting them friends like pokémon. I am known to have a pretty flirty and booming personality. I can get pretty annoying due to how loud and energetic I am, i would call you at 3 in the morning to tell you that i beat my record in Hades. I do tend to have a short temper when it comes to incompetence and to people who are clearly two faced or just full of shit, i would say i am pretty good at reading a person as well :) if you yell at me i will cry tho so dont BUT FOR THE MOST PART I AM A DELIGHT (i love dogs and cats as well 👉🏻👈🏻)

Likes: MUSIC, IKEA FISH it’s so good and melts in your mouth omfg the haddock is everything. Trying new things, horror movies even though i am a coward, r-r-r-roblox👉🏻👈🏻 , AND WAFFLES.

Dislikes: PEOPLE CHEWING LOUDLY OMFG PLEASE JUST SHUT UP BEFORE I SHOVE MY FOOT DOWN YOUR THEOAT PLEASE, people who beat around the bush.

Love Language: basic yes but it’s physical touch, receiving and giving. But i would also say words of affirmation for giving as well :))

EXTRAS: I can fluently speak four languages. I will also always announce when i am going to pee. why? not sure 👩‍🦯

(you’re so cute ily mwah mwah all the love 😩🫶🏻🫶🏻 i hope your day is going great pookie bear 👉🏻👈🏻)

i pair you with…

Doppio Dropscythe!

hear me out…

• you and doppi mesh so well together!

• you’re genuinely like the same person

• honestly the man didnt even know what coochie was so he probably doesnt know what roblox is but he’ll play it if you ask (but he’ll be making you play Bug Fables)

• tbf i didnt know what coochie meant either but like… english is my sl….

• LMAO HE’LL PROBABLY CHEW REALLY LOUD ON PURPOSE JUST TO ANNOY YOU THIS LITTLE SHITHEAD

• “what are you talking about Y/N?” he says, still chewing. “i’m just eating!”

• i hear his voice saying that…

• HE LOVES YOUR EYES

• THEYRE SO PRETTY THEYRE SO UGHHHHHHHHHHH

• god he goes insane just thinking ab you hes so smitten

• i hc that it takes a lot for pio-chan to fall in love, but once he does, hes forever smitten

RUNNERS UP: Shu Yamino, Luca Kaneshiro

[velvet-games]

and I'm sick of the pity!!! weightlifting is fun!! like bbygirl I would not have signed up for this if I didn't like pain.

okay I have talked about this a billion times in my head so I'm finally doing the ballet rant (I'm so in my feelings today lol sorry):

that shit was toxic as fuck!! like my ballet company was ironically way more toxic and misogynistic than debate or weightlifting has ever been. blatant favorite-picking. constant insensitive critiques. crying is bad and makes you weak. leave your emotions at the door. we're not here to support you. you're lazy for not making ballet your entire life. smile. you're not allowed to wear shorts/coverups even when you're on your period. okay fine you can cry but only if you've literally broken a bone or worse. like??? I remember wearing wraps for my feet cause I'm flat-footed and my instructor was like "damn that's really sad." huh??? I was 11 so I literally just stopped wearing the wraps.

and I believed them when they said all that shit was fine!! even though I've done plenty well in debate and weightlifting with none of that shit. constructive criticism without passive aggression exists! not picking favorites exists! caring about people's feelings and skills at the same time exists! all of my friends/instructors from debate have been so supportive and caring while also helping me become a better debater. they've made a space I look forward to being in, and there's such a clear love for both each other and the activity. weightlifting, tbf, is pretty toxic online and if you're with the wrong people, but it's still so much better. honestly ballet just asks so much of you (flexibility, quick memorization/learning, strength, coordination, ability to work with others, acting, musicality, etc.) and a lot of working out is just about the strength part; when I'm corrected on my form it's because they want to make sure I'm safe. again, I just feel genuinely supported and like the goal is to make me stronger. I'm allowed to be ugly and sweaty as fuck! I'm allowed to be in pain! I'm allowed to sit down when I'm tired! ugh. dance is so beautiful and I am very happy for the people who are able to use it as a source of joy and self-expression, but christ if I have not heard a billion girls talk about how it's beaten them down into nothing. there's more out there for you, I promise.

okay shitty aunt finally commented on my weight sorta <3 sick to fucking death of people thinking I started working out again cause I want to lose weight. no I fucking don't. no I fucking don't and that's very confusing to your very small brain isn't it?? if I wanted to lose weight I would be dieting and if I was dieting I wouldn't have deadlifted over 100 fucking lbs yesterday. christ. I don't want to feel like my body is withering away anymore.

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 42 - watching notes

I was up playing partygames over discord until 3 am yesterday, so I didn't get to watch another episode. I complained about it to my friends, which in turn made them complain that I sounded like I would rather watch my "gay chinese fantasy show" than spent time with them. I contemplated saying yes, but decided to keep my friend instead :D

And we were currently in the middle of a confrontation with Jiggy (as I've been informed he's called ... what? ^^) who apparently murdered his son to keep some secret, which with how this shows is going, I wouldn't be surprised is them going full game of thrones and ... you know what I'm talking about

Oh right, Su She is there

He's the Jin Zixun to my wei Wuxian. As in, I can never remember his name or why I should care 🤷‍♀️

(But thus time I DO remember who he is. That is, after lwj said his name ^^)

I'm so sure that jgy hit all evidence by now, btw

Okay, no. his wife is still there

Su She might be an asshole but his hair piece is gorgeous :D

What does it say about me that my first thought about that dagger was COOL!!! 😱😱😱

How dare you take Wen Qing's name in vain! 🤬

😱

I thought she'd stab him!!! Not herself :'(

I'm a bit surprised that with 5 cultivators in the room, no one does more to save her

Oh, JGY is a damn good actor!! I mean we knew that before, but now his apparent confusion and grieve for his wife seems even more (dare I quote lwj?) shameless

Lan Xichen, i know you love him but ...

Fun fact: In German, we call fake tears "Krokodilstränen". Literal translation: "crocodile tears"

That's what this is 😐

Especially about the nie Mingjue

Poor Nie Huaisang 💔💔💔

"Taking the head. Who in the world would have done such an insane act?" GEE, I WONDER ...

Sorry, I still find jgy fascinating, but this is so uncomfortable to watch, knowing at least part of what really happened 🙈

Lord, give me the power to murder people with one gaze like Lan Wangji 🙏

This whole conversation is so supremely uncomfortable

I'm still unsure if Jin Guangyao really doesn't suspect that "Mo Xuanyu" isn't who he says he is or if it's just a very convincing act 🤨

Favourite trope: Hanguang Jun, Yiling Laozou's knight in shining armour

First of all: Hot

Second of all: Lwj internally: DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING TOUCH HIM I ONLY JUST GOT HIM BACK AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN MADE OUT YET

probably

Also, for a split second there, you saw Jiang Cheng leap forward with a real look of concern on his face, like his first instinct was to help wwx himself 🥺🥺🥺

HE'S USING SUIBIAN AGAIN!!!

This feels so huge! 😱

I'm weirdly emo about a sword rn :')

His cover is blown of course

And him and Jin ling just had a good relationship :(

NHS, JL and JGY: How could it BE that this is Yiling Laozou???

Meanwhile Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng

"With the right kind of sacrifice, it can safe one who was seriously injured." Is this another instance of "we can't say this it's necromancy because censors, but y'all damn well know this is necromancy because no one falls down a cliff and then lies there "seriously injured" for goddam 16 years"?

I'm all teary eyed at lwj not even hesitating to flee with wwx :')

Jin Ling 💔🥺

Fuck you Jin Guangyao for playing at his pain!!!

Omg they're as good as holding hands!!! 😭😭😭

Of course, wax is pushing lwj away, OF COURSE. Self-sacrificing idiot!

That mask reveal was *chef's kiss* the drama! The gasps! The ... long-suffering "here we go again look" from lan Xichen :D

I LOVE IT WHEN LWJ SPEAKS UP!!

"You're wrong."

So simple. Yet saying so much: "I kniw him. I trust him. I chose this."

And OF COURSE Wei Wuxian gives him another way out

BUT THESE TWO FINALLY GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER AND COMMUNICATE THEIR THOUGHTS! FINALLY!

"Did you believe in me back then?" YES, I WAS JUST TOO AFRAID TO SAY IT,SO MY CONCERN CAME OUT AS ANGER 😭😭😭

And the single logged bridge again 😭😭😭 I adore that metaphor! And I love that they chose to show us the flashback. Because last time, wwx and lwj parted, took different roads so to speak, one the one of defiance, the other the one of orthodoxy. Neither wanted to part ways, but neither probably thought that they had much of a choice. But they did have a choice and they made it. And lwj has already expressed his regret over that. So here he is again, using his second chance without a thought.

Because lwj believes that wwx is right, MORALLY, so he will go against his clan, reputation be damned, and stand with the man he loves ... finally. He'll choose what they both believe to be right and walk with him "until it's dark" :')

And THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THIS SO MUCH!! It's not just that "oh they're so cute and they compliment each other so well, they must be soulmates uwu". Most of all they share a common morality!!!

I'm so goddamn amazed at this ship! This is not I was thought I was getting when I boarded it, but goddamn it I'm loving the ride! 😭😭😭

And .. just, the look in Lan Wangji's eyes ... they have 50 swords drawn on them, but guessing from the look on his face and the softness of his gaze they might as well be at their wedding 😭😭😭

He looks like a man entirely at peace with his decision :')

Just ...

Look

At

THEM!!!

They're holding hands in that last shot!!!! 😭😭😭

I'm absolutely floored at how utterly beautiful this scene is! "Romantic" seems too insignificant to describe it. It feels more like 42 episodes worth of love and pining and misunderstandings coming to their natural conclusion

My heart is so full right now guys :')

Very nice of these 50 people to wait for their moment to pass before attacking. Very considerate 😁

"Are we going to fight or not." "Too much talking" I WANT 50 EPISODES OF THESE TWO BICKERING!!! 😭😭😭

Jin Ling :'(

Noooo

No

Noooo

I don't know who my heart is bleeding for more here

Jin ling doesn't deserve to have to shoulder his parent's and uncle's pain :'((

All this supporting each other when injured? That's the good stuff

And those flashbacks ... wwx finally FINALLY realizes that lwj never hated him for his actions, he was afraid for him :')

Tbf,the guy has a sliiiight communication issue 😐

That quote about how lwj is at his side now that everyone else despices him!! That's it THAT'S THE SHIP!!😭😭😭

Oh, lwj took him back to cloud recess

I'm surprised he was allowed to, tbh

Ooh, so Mo Xuanyu knew something!

And... someone else must now know about him?

Also, I didn't realise that wwx still had a cut from the curse

I gotta take a moment to scream about HOW UTTERLY DOMESTIC AND AT EAS THESE TWO NOW ARE WITH EACH OTHER!!! 😭

XICHEN!!!

I should have known that the OG wangxian shipper would support them

But he still trusts Jin Guangyao. Not that I'm surprised

It's so weird to see anyone on this show in trousers btw 😅

"You're more than I can handle." Lol ^^

"You trust Master Wei, while I trust Jin Guangyao." Oh boy ...

I feel like this might be more of a confrontation than these two brothers had in their entire lives

Love me some detective-wwx

Poor Xichen 😔 he doesn't want to believe it

Somehow, wwx with a white underrobe makes me think "that's what he looks like when he and lwj accidentally swab robes" :D

Uuuh! The restricted section forbidden chamber!

So ... jin Guangyao somehow got this piece of music from the lan library?

But he's good! He's really good! He consistently uses others weaknesses and prays on them so that they act in a more extreme manner, but not so much that others would suspect foulplay. Case in point: nie Mingjue's death by anger and (more recently) the way he played towards Jin ling's feelings.

Aaaand another rather abrupt end in the middle of a conversation. That's one thing this show does not do well 😅

Anyway, I'm not complaining this episode send my shipper heart (BECAUSE I'M SO DWEP DOWN THIS RABBIT HOLE AT THIS POINT) fly with joy!!

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose 🖤💙🖤💙

[kuronekonerochan]

The laziest compilation of thoughts about the mess that was Alice (spoilers)

I finish a lot of shitty dramas. Like a lot. I could review them, but I won’t bc there’s too many and I’m too lazy (when you ff some dramas from 45min to 5 per episode it doesn’t really count as watching too many dramas bc it’s really a commercial break, lol). Some I watch for the so bad it’s good content, or love hate watching or just to have something to watch while I eat, even if they’re boring af. It’s also a tiny bit of ocd bc I need to see how they end (even the ones I drop I check out the finale). I only drop the ones that as Marie Kondo says *Do Not Spark Joy, more specifically...annoy me and make me cranky.

I sometimes bitch about it on DMs with ranty spoilers without structure and that reference other unrelated dramas or shows, because ADHD and my mind refuses to stay on topic, which would make it probably unintelligible except if you are in the niche who happens to have watched the other unrelated dramas, so it’s probably useless as a review.

That said, here are some random disconnected thoughts about Alice.

MAJOR SPOILER ALERTS BEWARE

(this is like partly copypaste of DM rants bc I am that lazy biatch. Also, fair warning I will seem super harsh or this drama because that’s the thing about a bitching dm versus a proper review... I am not bringing up all the points and talking about the good and what I liked as well as the bad, it’s just the bad...and although the drama is imo a mess, it does have some good in it. So if it were a review I’d always argue pros and cons...ranty thoughs who cares about pros? boring..I will not be bothered with devil’s advocate).

This was fascinating to watch, interesting but not good... but like a trainwreck.

I continued watching this mess despite the headache inducing convoluted plot (I watched a lot of timetravel stuff and I love it...encompassing all the theories about it, from butterfly effect, to effectively changing the future (with characters forgetting it or keeping it in memory because “eye of the storm” theory, the “efforts are futile and you can try to change it but the future is set in stone”, to “small changes can be made but big events are fixed points in time”, to “every change creates a new time line” and multiverse, etc... and trust me, all of them can be done well when well written or turn out a confusing illogical mess and that has nothing to do with the theory chosen, but with presenting how time travel works for that story and what the basic rules are and sticking to them...or when something happens that contradicts them, come up with an explanation as to why that happens.

 I don’t mean the drama should be an exposition borefest with too much pseudosciency jargon...but this drama gives you too little in the way of rules and the viewers sort of figure out how timetravel works (which is not bad per se, huge fan of show don’t tell...but there’s a limit to how much they cannot tell or the characters chose not to ask just for the sake of plot and not without any logic to it). Anyways, the little “rules” that we gather along the way...the writing doesn’t stick to them and keeps contradicting itself without addressing or explaining it and hoping we’re so confused we don’t notice. Some dramas you just say “eh, forget it, it doesn’t make sense, let’s turn off our brains and enjoy it”, but here if I wanted to try and follow what was going on at all it required “brain on” mode for their convoluted plot twists...which also made me aware of so may plotholes the time road should have looked like Swiss Cheese. I could go into them...but I cannot be bothered and the list would be extensive and still incomplete, so I will just put 3 here bc I can’t help it:

 1) Hot Daddy with emotional turmoil the entire drama of “Oh no, I abandoned her in 92 and regretted it, it happened 1 year ago for me, and now I find out she died in 2010. How was she, did she suffer? What did she know? Oh god, if only I were a time traveler eventually going rogue who could show up and talk to her any time in the timeline between 92 and 2010...Alas, I have to live in misery with the consequences of my actions...there is just ABSOLUTELY no way of solving this. I guess I’ll just keep making unauthorized time travel journeys from 2050′s time agency back to the year of 2020 and only 2020 to constantly be blindsided by murder attempts on everyone everywhere without having a clue to what’s going on when I could simply go back to before 2010 and talk to the one person who is proven to know what is going on.” Here is where there could be a bullshit reason as to why he could go only go to 2020 and not before, but the drama didn’t even bother.

 2) They say Tae Yi’s mom was originally a time traveler who settled with her physicist dad in the past, eventually making way for her to discover time travel herself. The mom is missing and this is never addressed again. 

3) The book...who wrote it? Because I have guesses but they never outright answer it... and if the biatch author knew that stuff why the alice in wonderland stupid analogies?

 Coward, or petty, or both.... or maybe just a chaos gremlin godlike entity who wanted to watch them all squirm, like the author from Extraordinary You...and that I could get behind, but sadly they don’t go that metaphysical/theological with the plot...which is honestly the main problem with this drama. It seems ambitious in concept but it’s never explored decently in any way, not in the pseudoscience, not in the philosophical sense of the meaning of time/space/existence, not even in its relationships, with the constant back and forth and weirdness of it.

Besides the timetravel migraine, we had the weirdest directing, that made the relationship between the leads feel a bit too incesty...which was the main reason I kept watching this drama...morbid curiosity of how they wrapped up this mess of a plot AND especially the relationship payoff...would it keep being weird with trope romance drama scenes like the female lead and second female lead facing off and being jealous, or that weird hair washing that felt more sensual than maternal? I knew it wouldn’t happen but my inner chaos gremlin wanted kdramaland to grow some balls and go full “predestination: oedipus edition” with this mess. Alas they sort of did, mostly didn’t. Even that angle was a whole inconsistent mess: there were times where it felt too romantic, then for a short minute I misguidedly shipped the journalist friend, then it seemed the dude was ace, then they calmed their tits with the whole weird romantic vibes and it got platonic cute, then with the memory merge thing finally motherly vibes, then I shipped the journalist again for 1 sec only...and then the ending:

Alice ended with the lead solving every problem by shooting himself (technically) in the head...and that's the second meta perfectly fitting ending for a drama with a good cast and terrible writing that drove itself into a corner this year, after the sleepless princess ended with the leads jumping off a cliff. I don't think it's a self aware choice of the writers, or an admission that they themselves know it was bad, but the irony is delicious.

Spoiler for the ending: he undoes timey wimey stuff from when his mom first got killed in high school and closed the time travel door. So he became an architect and new Tae Yi just woke up in her bed remembering everything, but in reality she had just come back from a conference abroad and had never met him. So mom TaeYi didn't die then, but never got back on screen after the time undo so who the f knows what happened to her. 

Also, if new Tae Yi remembers, does that mean hot daddy from the future does as well, but he is just stuck in the future without a time door to ever see them again? The drama doesn’t care answering that and forgets his character is even a thing...I will miss you, my fave who looked emotionally and literally constipated 24/7 (it doesn’t care answering much at all tbf... a little known fact about the time travel paradoxes according to the physics of this world is that besides doppelganger chickenpox it induces severe lazy writing).

Anyways new Tae Yi went looking for architect (? okay...I guess) ML after she woke up, at first he didn't remember her, but it ends with him meeting her, apparently remembering her and they stare at each other... you know, like any bad traditional romantic kdrama finale....so there is still THAT vibe. 

Honestly, the usual romantic ballad score for scenes between the leads WAS NOT the most intelligent choice for this drama in specific but boy did they stick with it (not to mention the ending song... that goes, in english “we be like Bonnie and Clyde we ride or die...which...k, sure)...so technically the ending was exactly the cliche post amnesia running back to each other and staring for the final scene while romantic music blasts trope. Take it as you will.

[taeguboi]

BTS HC - Lockdown

In which each BTS member lives with y/n

I’m hoping these imagines might lighten the mood for anyone who might be feeling a bit lonely right now.

Please see the end of post first if you need some context or wish to see the notes

RM

Has good balance of me time and us time

steps back when you both need space

sitting in the back yard on some chair reading a book

taking in the sun

The restrictions don’t hinder him from making sure you both get plenty of sun and fresh air

it isn’t much but in week 1, he gave the back yard a little tidy up

turned it into a place to chill out

so there aren’t any flower planted or decor

but it makes all the difference

there’s chairs, a table and a parasol

to you, this is perfect

Spot of tea under cooler weather

or orange juice under the sun

Board games at the table in the back yard

you tried cards once out there but even just the slightest breeze...

“Goddammit!!!”

The card games are for when it rains

or for when neither of you quite feel like going out today

He swears you’re cheating at UNO

you swear he’s just really bad at it

turns out he keeps saving those wild 4 draw cards too long

which you gather over his last 3 rage quits 

because he just slings the cards, revealing them to you

“You play it too safe” you tell him

so he plays it a bit less safe

“Yes! Finally I won!”

“OH! Look at that!” you smile

he smiles back because of how proud you...

“...it’s sunny again!”

‘Goddammit y/n...’

Shopping trips together

not so helpful when the rules get stricter

“One adult at a time please...”

oh dear

who goes in?

so you go in

“Crap! Namjoon has the shopping list!”

this period of time really shows how you complete each other

pretty much every day you each think

“what would I do without him/her?”

Random talks

he tells you about this one book he read

and now you want to read it

so you do

and you can’t take your eyes off it

you find a new love for reading

so sometimes when you both need me time

you remain in the same room, just reading a book each

Every day you feel enlightened

almost sad at the thought of going back to normal life

because you won’t have as much time for yourself

Jin

Everyone is suddenly having the time to cook from scratch

imagine Jin’s frustration since he did this all along

so when certain things he usually gets aren’t in stock

“Oh for crying out loud!”

you sometimes have to calm him down when shopping

and since only 1 adult in at a time it’s like a really awkward phone call

you’re just stood outside alone like

“For Christ’s sake Jin! Calm down!”

but he makes every meal taste great anyway

“Sorry it doesn’t have the usual...”

“Jin, please!” you reply

because it’s still really yummy because

“you’re still the best cook in the world, okay?”

“Okay fine...” he sighs “Thank you”

can I just add here food is the only time you both get hysterical at each other

He still low key hoard particular ingredients when he FINALLY can get them

and you have to explain how irrational he’s being

“We don’t need SIX tubes of tomato puree!”

“Jin... How are we going to use up all THIS fruit and veg before it goes off?”

But he’s not selfish, no

if he’s in a shop and sees someone elderly, he helps them out

“Would you like me to reach that for you?”

“Do you need any toilet paper? There’s 2 packs left - here”

“Here’s my number; let me know if you need me to run any errands for you”

ahh you’re lucky to be living with such a gentleman

Daily walks in the park to feed the ducks

“This is the best kind of exercise” he tells you “...relaxed and where you can connect with nature”

some of the ducks at the beginning of the lockdown are a bit nutty

Jin may or may not be low key scared of that one goose

“I swear it’s giving me the evils”

it may or may not have chased him the second day in

“Wahhhhhh!!!”

*Jin running away in the distance*

You cooked for him that evening

“Honey, I don’t know how to put this...”

“Aw sweetie it’s okay about what happened in the park; I mean you were the one holding the bread and...”

“oh no no” he replies. “this meal is awful”

r00d

but it’s okay

you knew the minute you offered to make dinner it wasn’t going to turn out well

so you both agree the kitchen will be his space to work his magic in during lockdown

and he somehow gets better than he already is at cooking

just woowwww

foodgasm

but neither of you get podgy

Lazy exercises together

chair exercises watching the tv

small periods of jogging in the woods

“oh wow, what’s that?”

you come across some random squirrel

and all of a sudden trips to the park for that daily walk 

it turns into a nature watch

bird watching

luckily he forgets about the angry goose

Sometimes talking about what you miss

and then promising to do all of those things when everything is back to normal

so many plans

and it helps you both stay optimistic

because you just created a bunch of stuff to look forward to

Suga

Late night movie marathons

and accidentally getting into a routine of late mornings late nights

Cooking together

because neither of you want to do it

but someone has to

can’t live on instant food for all this time

Night time walks

less people, less danger

please don’t yell at me if we’re not supposed to do this in real life I haven’t actually been out that late during lockdown hahaha

it’s only around a few blocks

but deep talks, you know

There may not be much room in the back garden

but you have a ball and a hoop

basketball together

he teaches you to shoot better

“yes! I did it!”

*he hugs you from behind*

sorry that was gay

He’s actually quite chill about the whole lockdown situation

almost like he forgets the circumstances sometimes

“I think I might nip down to _____’s house today...”

“Uh, Yoongi, remember?”

“Oh yeah”

Detective series marathons too

the two of you trying to figure out whodunnit

sometimes even low key bets or light arguments if you disagree

a mildly sore loser when you’re correct

smug af when he is correct

Evenings lounging in the back yard with the drink of your choice

some quiet music on 

random hypothetical conversations and questions about life

“what if...”

“what happened to...”

“don’t you think that cloud looks like a goldfish?”

Board games that keep the brain stimulated

why is he so good at scrabble

you can’t recall a game you’ve won

but no monopoly

not after the last time

“I want a divorce!”

“We’re not married”

“Yet”

tbf you might as well be an old married couple

because there’s those films you just watch over and over

close to unlocking the power of mind reading

“want a cup of tea?”

“omg I was about to ask that”

Some days you get on each other’s nerves a little though

so you each occupy yourselves with little chores

and even though you weren’t in the mood to do anything together

you’ve just made the house look great in a day as a team

and you’ve got everything you need just in time for dinner

“I’m proud of us”

“I’m proud of us too”

J-Hope

Picnics in the back garden

much better than one in the park though

there’s no packing involved

there’s cushions

sometimes low key fine dining

your favourite is the one evening picnic the other day

you had been shopping alone for the essentials

and he wanted to surprise you

he had set up a makeshift table out of a few old crates

did the cooking

the pasta dish was lovely

there was even dessert

okay the dessert was M&S

fairy lights

seriously you swear you weren’t out for that long how did he manage all of this so fast?

wine

staring at the stars

and there were blankets too

dozing off until early hours of the morning

finally coming indoors at like 2am

sleeping in til noon oops haha

then binge watching some random show together 

and now it’s your new favourite

For some reason you have a big stock of popcorn

watching any old crap on the TV as an excuse to eat it

like there’s 3 films on this afternoon that sound shite

but you’re going to watch them all anyway

and the third one is actually really good

more popcorn more films

“we should probably go out at some point...”

whoops it’s been like 4 days now

and now it’s raining damn

fuck it, you go out anyway

dancing in the rain in an empty park

followed by shivering on the walk home

he gets in the shower first

but then runs a lovely hot bath for you

candles, bubble bath, the works

just so you can have some relaxing time to yourself

so thoughtful

lockdown doesn’t mean needing to compromise on showing you love each other

Jimin

You’re not quite sure how you got pulled into this

but Jimin decided to make use of his YouTube following

Virtual dance classes

and fun little exercise sessions for all the family

He does the dance classes solo

but he loves to flaunt you to the world even in lockdown

“Today joining me for this session... my lovely significant other, y/n!”

at first you felt uncertain and a little conscious

but thanks to Jimin your confidence grew

He helps you stay positive during a tough time

and you even feel like your self improvement has been going amazingly well

he even inspires you to make your own channel

to show the world what you love; [insert hobby/interest here]

people love the both of you

they go to Jimin’s channel to keep fit and happy

and your channel just fills them with joy

But not everything revolves around the virtual world

Care packages for all of your friends

food and other essentials get mailed to the ones that lost their jobs

and for the ones still working, a bundle of stuff for their mental well being

and a little drawing with rainbow colours in each

and a positive message

Woolly jumpers, cushions and hot chocolate

sweater paws

Sometimes in the evening you doze off

like you fall asleep just as you are

and you wake up to the smell of food and a blanket over you

Sometimes you miss your friends

and Jimin hates to see you down

so he organises a big surprise

his hands over your eyes as he walks you into the living room

“surprise!” you hear over the laptop

and then Jimin hands you some gifts 

he asked them all a few days ago to send you something meaningful

and your heart just melts

and you may or may not cry a little in front of your friends on the video call

you just have to do something in return so

You make the living room all nice whilst he’s making a video in the garden

wow you’re actually quite proud

the lighting is just right

the improv decor is actually somewhat aesthetic

“Honey, why’s it so dull in here..... Woah, what’s this?”

“Dinner’s ready” you smile

and you have a gift for him too

you can’t wipe the smile off his face when he sees it

a scrapbook of memories between you and him

which you look through after eating

“We’re going to make more memories like this once this blows over”

V

Lots of online socialising

Calls with his friends 

which you always end up being a part of in the background with your commentaries

Cute online double dates with Jimin and/or your best friend

Will try everything and anything to kill the boredom

“look what I found in the bargain bin at the supermarket!”

“Tae, I’m not really sure I’m in the mood to take up crocheting...”

but actually it turns out to be more fun that you thought

he has his little ways of making everything fun

one day you guys just find some random paints in a cupboard

and WOW

he’s so good at it

such beautiful landscapes

Makes sure that you both maintain some sort of routine

“best make sure we have an early night lovely”

“why? it’s not like there’s much to do tomorrow”

but no matter how sceptical you may be at times

he’s determined to be your sunshine

he helps you stay sane

makes everything sound productive

“because tomorrow we are going to make a playlist for when we walk, feed the ducks, go shopping, learn how to make a new dish...”

makes you a cup of tea just because

or breakfast in bed

the perfect companion

caring about even the people he can’t physically be with

“we haven’t heard from _____ in a while; we should drop a phone call or something”

but it isn’t just a phone call

it’s also a letter in the mail a few days later

plus a painting for the close friends

Dressing up really formal for a home date

3 course meal, courtesy of the microwave

then a slow dance in the living room

always the romantic

“tonight was amazing... will I see you again?”

“you are terrible Tae, you really are!”

such a joker

he keeps you smiling through it all

Jungkook

Tries to get you to go on daily jogs with him

“Can’t I just walk?”

“Come on, y/n; get those endorphins running through you!”

you try like once

*wheezing*

nope

Nintendo switch

Not that I have one welp

I can just imagine it okay

Lots of active games

thrashes you at Wii Sports Tennis

but you whoop his ass at Bowling

he does most of the shopping

so that he can go for a jog first

and also so he’s not out too often in any one day, two birds one stone and all that

Doesn’t quite always get the shopping list right….

“Jungkook?”

“Yes?”

“I wrote 1-2 bananas… You’ve brought back 12”

blames your handwriting

Small bits of banter like this keep you both sane

and he eats all those bananas in like 2 days

“What? There was no cereal in the shop”

someone teach this boy to cook please

*brings back like a crate load of instant noodles*

at least it means you’ve come up with something to pass the time

teaching Jungkook some basic meals

maybe beginning with breakfast first thing in the morning wasn’t the best idea

“Jungkook! I said keep an eye on it!”

“I did”

and he literally just watched the bacon burn instead of regularly flipping it over

bless

Singing to you whilst snuggling on the couch

bliss

meme-y dances before bed time

like you’ll be sat in bed maybe watching tv / reading

and something moves in the corner of your eye

oh my word Jungkook

*insert all the meme-y dances you have even seen him do*

the biggest dork

can’t stop laughing at his own silliness afterwards

jumps into the bed and puts his head on your shoulder

falls asleep like this quite fast

well you aren’t surprised since he’s always so energetic

Small campfires in the back garden

the best marshmallows you’ve ever had

and it’s so much fun

campfire stories

usually people have a guitar around the fire

not Jungkook though, no

*serenades you with a ukulele purposely singing out of tune*

has you in stitches

people in the neighbouring houses hear the laughter and some think it’s insensitive to be laughing so much

but seriously, if you can’t laugh, what can you do?

So I thought I’d make a post around the strange times many of us are living in. Whilst I get that some readers may not be in a situation like mine (UK) so a quick bit of context for you even though I made the location / country ambiguous in my writing. The circumstances explained in the imagines though are of course based on my experiences in England.

Right now, we are limited in what we do; only essential shops are open, (supermarkets, pharmacies, etc,) the country is being advised to go out as little as possible, (only for food shopping, medical reasons and exercise,) social gatherings aren’t allowed, our death rate has been increasing due to the virus (even our prime minister has it,) and our NHS is overwhelmed - currently more than 10,000 being treated as I’m listening to the news and writing this note. 

I hope everyone is staying safe and doing the right thing by staying indoors and maintaining social distancing.

[thermie]

21, 23, 14, 9 (wow they are really out of order adsfljka)

hewwo! :3 9. how do you make your playlists? A couple of years ago I used to do it like, really thoroughly, go through all of my music, that kinda thing (maybe I just didn’t have anything else to do tho :D), but lately it happens v slowly. I have a couple songs I can think off the top of my head as fitting, add them there as a sort of a seed, that I then add to when listening to music and having a “oh, this is [the thing]!“ moment. Or I go through my recent songs and see what fits. I sometimes even add songs I don’t take into my liked songs but hear on like, release radar, on a playlist bc it fits well but I don’t like it that much. But I usually like the song afterwards regardless tbh, like it happened with this trashy song that is too much Kiriko to not add that I came to love later. On rare occasion I also look for other playlists with songs that fit the vibe, like I did with the Nain Rouge playlist. 14. the smiths, mac demarco, tyler, the creator, joy division, brockhampton, the strokes, the cure, frank ocean, neutral milk hotel, radiohead, kendrick lamar, the beatles, weezer, death grips; you can only keep three, which ones will you chose? Uh, I think the question-asker thought it would be harder than it is for me :D I don’t really listen to any of these. I listen to a bit of neutral milk hotel, a tiny bit of the smiths and uh, radiohead so those are my choices :D

21. “no one should be judged for their taste in music” do you agree with this statement? Oh, for sure! Well, I think if you’re friends with the person some friendly judging and teasing is ok, but honestly, it’s one of those things that I’ve learned and accepted as a personal rule over time that no matter how compelling it is, one really shouldn’t stick one’s nose in other’s business and judge their taste, within reason ofc. 23. what artist can you absolutely not stand? Hrm. I don’t really have hate in my heart for any artist tbf. I dislike the like, cheap side of pop where the songs are as interesting as eating watered down dirt but I can’t really point fingers at specific artists bc I don’t know them for the same reason. I mean, tumblr has sort of indoctrinated me to dislike Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran but tbf I don’t care enough about them and try not to be as much of an influencable little lamb I sometimes am. Maybe though I can sort of apply this question to an entire genre and then it’s metal that, no matter how I try, I just can’t find pleasant. Believe me, I’ve tried.

[wantlongera]

💍 + kenny & dolores !

send me 💍 + A SHIP and i’ll tell you —

where they get married: i imagine they go for a church venue !

when they get married ( ie what time of day, what month and season etc. ):october, sometime in the afternoon/evening.

what traditions they include ( do they get married under a chuppah and crush a glass, garter toss, ‘something borrowed, something blue,’ etc. ): dolores goes all out with tradition; she does the ‘something old, something new, etc’ and tosses a a flower from her bouquet, instead of the entire thing.

what their wedding cake looks like: probably something like this.

….who smashes cake into whose face: she very, very gently taps his nose with a smidge of frosting, and then kissing it away.

who walks down the aisle and who waits at the altar ( or neither ): dolores ; kenny, in that order

what their wedding dresses / suits / other look like: here’s dolores’s dress !

what their wedding colour scheme is and what sort of decor they have: white, sapphire blue, ivory, gold. very traditional decor, with flowers on every table, covering the aisle, etc.

what flowers are in the bouquet ( if applicable. bonus: what do the flowers mean? ): white roses, dolores’s favorite. the traditional meaning is “true love”. the bouquet is rounded out with baby’s breath.

what their vows are ( eg poetry, traditional, improvised etc. ): i really like the idea of them writing their own vows !!

if anyone’s late to the wedding: kenny’s father, if mrs. gelman hasn’t threatened him with murder otherwise

who’s in the bridal parties / groomsmen / other: dolores recruits her sisters again, and asks joy, marcela, and emilia if they want to be her bridesmaids as well. 

what their bridal party / groomsmen / other are wearing: here’s the bridesmaid dresses

who gives speeches at the reception ( bonus: what do they say? recount a sweet memory or two between them? tell an embarrassing story? ): dolores’s sister dorothy definitely pulls out a speech, as her maid of honor. i can see joy giving one, and perhaps mrs. gelman ? i also just imagined tabitha and stella writing a speech together about their new family, and i’m crying. 

who catches the bouquet( s ): dolores throws it to emilia to try and make her smile lmao

what their wedding photos are like ( are they sweet, with the couple holding hands or kissing or ~gazing into each others eyes~? are they silly, with a snapshot of the ‘cake-smash’ moment? or are they artistic, with one of them facing the sunset or holding their bouquets? ): yes, yes, and yes. all of the photos are sweet of course – whether it be ones of them kissing, holding hands, etc. there’s at least a few of them being silly as they cut the cake, or after their first dance together. then there’s the best pictures, where kenny and dolores are with the girls, and it’s a family photograph.

what sort of food they have at the reception: i just imagined kenny ? cooking for the reception and i WEEP

who cries first during the ceremony: kenny kjafnjafknjafknjafknjafk

how wild their reception gets ( who dances the best, who gets drunk first, etc. ):y’all better keep it Nice bc dolores is a classy lady. tbf dolores probably gets ? slightly tipsy later in the evening, before they take off for the night. not too much, just so that she’s giggly and asking kenny to dance and needs a steadying hand on the way to the car.

what their rings are like: probably simple, golden bands like these. dolores has done this all before, she doesn’t need an expensive ring.

what sort of favours they have ( heart shaped sparklers, mini champagne bottles, personalised candy etc. ): dolores gives out mini champagne bottles and candy hearts.

where they go for their honeymoon: someplace simple and quiet, not so far from home that they can’t return home immediately if the girls need them. i imagine with what happened to his friends, travelling might be a sore subject for kenny.

something memorable that happens during the party / ceremony ( do they run out of ice and someone goes to get it in full formal wear on foot, does anyone fall asleep in the middle of the party, etc. ): god, kenny probably goofed during the vows, and to make him feel better, dolores goofed the next line on purpose so that no one would make fun of him. 

who officiates the ceremony: if it’s in a church, a priest. 

what song their first dance is to: i’m skipping this bc i’m so bad with song questions, all i listen to is musical theater

who gives who away as they walk down the aisle: dolores’s father gives her away

[michaelfallcon]

Coffee At The Movies: The Lion King

Nants ingonyama, y’all! It’s been a minute since I last snuck coffee and booze into a movie but the call of photorealistic animals singing the songs of my youth was too much to resist. Sprudge may have slightly ruined a few filmgoers’ Saturday afternoons by sending T. Ben Fischer and me to get caffeinated and a little sloppy at a matinee of the reanimated The Lion King, but like an even gayer Statler and Waldorf, we ventured into the Cobble Hill Cinemas in Brooklyn, NY armed with Stumptown cold brew stubbies and rosé and ready to work out all of our emotions while we watched with different expectations. I’m a hardcore modern Disney skeptic while T. Ben’s favorite movie is Frozen and his Disney shareholder certificate hangs proudly in our apartment. What follows is a conversation we had after we sobered up:

ERIC J. GRIMM: Well, T. Ben, I told you you couldn’t possibly get me to see this flick and now you’ve gotten your wish. Are you happy?

T. BEN FISCHER: NO! It was horrrrrible! I’m so angry we watched it!

EJG: But my Disney princess, it had all of your favorite songs! Mind you, with the exception of Beyoncé’s, they were all sung terribly…

TBF: Ter-rib-ly. I wanted to throw my coffee at the screen during “Be Prepared.” Who was Scar? He was the worst.

EJG: Chiwetel Ejiofor. He was nominated for an Oscar.

TBF: For this?!?

EJG: No, you can’t be nominated for an Oscar until the year is over. He was nominated in 2014.

TBF: Can he be un-nominated and never nominated for anything else ever?

EJG: I’ll make some calls. He definitely took Scar to the most boring depths imaginable. Jeremy Irons was so deliciously evil and campy!

TBF: I don’t know who Jeremy is but the old Scar is fabulous. All of the old characters are fabulous. Why were the new ones all so boring?

EJG: That definitely bugged me the whole time. It was as if they were mostly directed to tone it down so it wouldn’t sound the same as the original even though the script is almost identical. John Oliver (Zazu), Billy Eichner (Timon), and Seth Rogen (Pumbaa) all sounded like they had someone whispering into their ear while they were recording, “Don’t have fun. Pleeeeeease don’t have fun with this.”

TBF: They should’ve just reused the voices from the old movie. They would have saved so much money!

EJG: It definitely would’ve accomplished the same goal. But then you wouldn’t have Beyoncé as Nala or Donald Glover as Simba!

TBF: That new Beyoncé song was the only good part. Can we talk about how ugly the movie looked?

EJG: Wha– sure. So ugly. The original is so pretty and the musical numbers all have cute gags and some dancing. This one just has animals kind of running around while they badly sing our faves.

TBF: Badly? Try, ter-rib-ly.

EJG: Pretty much the same thing, but go on.

TBF: “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” was an abomination. Young Simba [JD McCrary] was totally off-key. I sound better in kara’oke.

EJG: Well, you’re probably both equally… alternative in your understanding of musicality. That number definitely stuck out as a low point. Nothing like dead-eyed animals to take the joy out of the most exciting musical number in the movie. A lot of people think the movie looks technically amazing.

TBF: IT LOOKS TECHNICALLY TERRIBLE. Why would I want to see real animals just do the same movie when I could watch the old one? It just looks like they put the Snapchat puppy filter on all the animals!

EJG: The real animal concept doesn’t even make sense. Real lions don’t conspire to overthrow their kings with hyenas or befriend warthogs and meerkats and abandon their carnivore instincts.

TBF: They just did all the same things from the first one. The only thing I can think that they changed was that the women lions got to be hunters and fighters.

EJG: Which is cool, I guess, except when you realize that the plot of the movie hinges on a pride of all female lions who need their stoner estranged prince to save them from the sloppiest and most easily overthrown dictator.

TBF: They should have had Beyoncé just murder Scar and all of the hyenas. Why couldn’t we just get a Beyoncé Lion King?

EJG: Well, we kinda did! She recorded a whole Lion King inspired album. It’s pretty tight!

TBF: She did?!? Did she record all the songs?!?!

EJG: No, she made a bunch of new ones. It’s basically Lionade!

TBF: Okay, I’m done talking about the stupid movie. Let’s listen to Beyoncé.

EJG: You got it.

TBF: Oh, and you’re taking me to see Frozen 2 at least five times to make up for this.

EJG: Yes, dear.

Eric J. Grimm (@ericjgrimm) writes about pop culture and coffee for Sprudge Media Network, and lives in Manhattan. Read more Eric J. Grimm on Sprudge.

T. Ben Fischer is a coffee professional, US Barista Championship Finalists, and creator of Glitter Cat Barista Bootcamp. This is T. Ben Fischer’s first feature for Sprudge.

The post Coffee At The Movies: The Lion King appeared first on Sprudge.

Coffee At The Movies: The Lion King published first on https://medium.com/@LinLinCoffee

[shebreathesslowly]

Coffee At The Movies: The Lion King

Nants ingonyama, y’all! It’s been a minute since I last snuck coffee and booze into a movie but the call of photorealistic animals singing the songs of my youth was too much to resist. Sprudge may have slightly ruined a few filmgoers’ Saturday afternoons by sending T. Ben Fischer and me to get caffeinated and a little sloppy at a matinee of the reanimated The Lion King, but like an even gayer Statler and Waldorf, we ventured into the Cobble Hill Cinemas in Brooklyn, NY armed with Stumptown cold brew stubbies and rosé and ready to work out all of our emotions while we watched with different expectations. I’m a hardcore modern Disney skeptic while T. Ben’s favorite movie is Frozen and his Disney shareholder certificate hangs proudly in our apartment. What follows is a conversation we had after we sobered up:

ERIC J. GRIMM: Well, T. Ben, I told you you couldn’t possibly get me to see this flick and now you’ve gotten your wish. Are you happy?

T. BEN FISCHER: NO! It was horrrrrible! I’m so angry we watched it!

EJG: But my Disney princess, it had all of your favorite songs! Mind you, with the exception of Beyoncé’s, they were all sung terribly…

TBF: Ter-rib-ly. I wanted to throw my coffee at the screen during “Be Prepared.” Who was Scar? He was the worst.

EJG: Chiwetel Ejiofor. He was nominated for an Oscar.

TBF: For this?!?

EJG: No, you can’t be nominated for an Oscar until the year is over. He was nominated in 2014.

TBF: Can he be un-nominated and never nominated for anything else ever?

EJG: I’ll make some calls. He definitely took Scar to the most boring depths imaginable. Jeremy Irons was so deliciously evil and campy!

TBF: I don’t know who Jeremy is but the old Scar is fabulous. All of the old characters are fabulous. Why were the new ones all so boring?

EJG: That definitely bugged me the whole time. It was as if they were mostly directed to tone it down so it wouldn’t sound the same as the original even though the script is almost identical. John Oliver (Zazu), Billy Eichner (Timon), and Seth Rogen (Pumbaa) all sounded like they had someone whispering into their ear while they were recording, “Don’t have fun. Pleeeeeease don’t have fun with this.”

TBF: They should’ve just reused the voices from the old movie. They would have saved so much money!

EJG: It definitely would’ve accomplished the same goal. But then you wouldn’t have Beyoncé as Nala or Donald Glover as Simba!

TBF: That new Beyoncé song was the only good part. Can we talk about how ugly the movie looked?

EJG: Wha– sure. So ugly. The original is so pretty and the musical numbers all have cute gags and some dancing. This one just has animals kind of running around while they badly sing our faves.

TBF: Badly? Try, ter-rib-ly.

EJG: Pretty much the same thing, but go on.

TBF: “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” was an abomination. Young Simba [JD McCrary] was totally off-key. I sound better in kara’oke.

EJG: Well, you’re probably both equally… alternative in your understanding of musicality. That number definitely stuck out as a low point. Nothing like dead-eyed animals to take the joy out of the most exciting musical number in the movie. A lot of people think the movie looks technically amazing.

TBF: IT LOOKS TECHNICALLY TERRIBLE. Why would I want to see real animals just do the same movie when I could watch the old one? It just looks like they put the Snapchat puppy filter on all the animals!

EJG: The real animal concept doesn’t even make sense. Real lions don’t conspire to overthrow their kings with hyenas or befriend warthogs and meerkats and abandon their carnivore instincts.

TBF: They just did all the same things from the first one. The only thing I can think that they changed was that the women lions got to be hunters and fighters.

EJG: Which is cool, I guess, except when you realize that the plot of the movie hinges on a pride of all female lions who need their stoner estranged prince to save them from the sloppiest and most easily overthrown dictator.

TBF: They should have had Beyoncé just murder Scar and all of the hyenas. Why couldn’t we just get a Beyoncé Lion King?

EJG: Well, we kinda did! She recorded a whole Lion King inspired album. It’s pretty tight!

TBF: She did?!? Did she record all the songs?!?!

EJG: No, she made a bunch of new ones. It’s basically Lionade!

TBF: Okay, I’m done talking about the stupid movie. Let’s listen to Beyoncé.

EJG: You got it.

TBF: Oh, and you’re taking me to see Frozen 2 at least five times to make up for this.

EJG: Yes, dear.

Eric J. Grimm (@ericjgrimm) writes about pop culture and coffee for Sprudge Media Network, and lives in Manhattan. Read more Eric J. Grimm on Sprudge.

T. Ben Fischer is a coffee professional, US Barista Championship Finalists, and creator of Glitter Cat Barista Bootcamp. This is T. Ben Fischer’s first feature for Sprudge.

The post Coffee At The Movies: The Lion King appeared first on Sprudge.

from Sprudge https://ift.tt/2JVzdDl