#taz fics

[searchingforserendipity25]

There are some things Davenport knows.

He counts them sometimes, the things he knows.

His name; how to tie his shoes with twelve different knots; how the Madame Director likes her coffee.

The rules of playing Fantasy Chess, and how to cheat at Fantasy Chess too.

How to tell when someone is afraid

How to make his bed, so tight and neat he can drop a coin on it and it jumps, newly polished and gleaming, right back into his hand

How to bandage up to twenty different kinds of injuries

How to make the best sea chowder on the Moon Base, and also on the planet

How to press a uniform so it lasts a week and several explosions with no crinkled corners

How to organise reports with proper colour-coding techniques

Not a great many words, when it comes to that - slippery as fishtails, words, hard to grasp in the mind and impossible to put into his mouth

How to laugh, and how to cry

How to be helpful, if not always in the most efficient way

Some very complicated geometry and arithmetic, though not the word for geometry, nor how to write down an equation to explain how he got his results.His name, the names of his colleagues, where he is, what time of the day it is, what happened yesterday.

His name, his name, even when he doesn't know anything else, his name is Davenport -

Most days, anyway

He cries, sometimes, over bowls of spicy soup and at cute dogs, when someone leaves a book half-open on the table - when he sees groups of people laughing, and when he's alone for a long time. He is rarely alone. The Madame Director finds him, every time. Brings him biscuits and jam, shares puzzles, gives him folders to file.

She tries to teach him new words from brightly coloured books, sometimes. Not often; Davenport hates to make her unhappy, and she looks very sad, whenever he fails. He hates failing - this he knows for certain. But regardless of what he does, the Director is sad a lot of the time. Busy, busy; but she goes very still, late at night, and writes lists in strange languages with shifting characters, and then burns them, with a look on her face like stone, like a closed fist. He sweeps the ashes, afterwards; there's nothing in them he can understand.

No one sees her in those hours. Only Davenport is there, with no one else around. Davenport does not count as company, really. Or at least the Madame Director trusts him enough to let him see her when it's very late and she is very tired, and there is too much work for a night's rest.

It's nice, being trusted. Davenport likes it, likes his little tasks, his schedule and his friends. He knows every corner of the Moon Base, except the ones he is not supposed to enter; he has a little map sewn into his coat pocket, for when he forgets he knows every corner of the Moon Base.

He loves slow music, and sea chowder, and to drink his tea (the Director makes it, sometimes; she knows just how he likes it) while standing behind the transparent windows and watch the planet down below, all green and blue and changeful, like a face with many moods.

He knows he likes these things.

It is only that, sometimes, Davenport is very full of a painful feeling, a feeling like being full of smoldering fire, a feeling like --

Anger has no face, no colour. Davenport does not know a lot of things; sometimes he grasps at the softened edges of his mind, looking for something sharp enough to cut himself with. Davenport is angry, sometimes, though he has no words for it. Sometimes, anger is the only real thing in Davenport's world, the first thing he ever knew.

And then he forgets about it.

There are few things Davenport knows. He can feel the shape of something very important, prodding at him, filling him up with a warm, unpleasant energy. It is there when he wakes, for a handful of moments - every day, in the dreaming place between wakefulness and sleep. Like a dream, it fades before he is done dressing for the day. He has no words for it. The truth is, most days Davenport only knows his name is Davenport, and the worst of it is Davenport forgets there might be anything missing.

[stars-n-kites]

really funny 2 see fics where taako is portrayed as like. a skilled liar / manipulator bc in canon hes just an absolute mess at it. like.... dont get me wrong, he can bullshit his way around people who dont know better than to take him at his word, but the moment someone is even remotely suspicious of him he panics and starts making up insane shit, contradicts himself, and then makes up even more insane shit to uncontradict himself. he can absolutely bend the truth just fine, but his straight up lies are moreso word association improv exercises than real scenarios a person would believe if told them. if anything his lies are most effective as like. verbal octopus ink. like yeah im clearly hiding Something but you dont know what and now youre too confused by the fifteen other things i just said to process what the fuck im even talking about. now whats up asshole

[ink-perfect]

short n sweet ⋆. @chibinasuu

you weren’t nosy. 

not usually, anyway.

but as you passed the galley of the thousand sunny on your way to grab a drink, the sound of sanji’s voice brought your steps to a halt. something about his tone—eerily calm, stripped of its usual flirtatious cadence—became a mystery so intriguing you just had to put your ear to the door.

“i’ve been wanting to say this for a while…” his voice was low, a murmur wrapped in something you couldn’t quite identify, yet it slipped under your skin with ease. an involuntary shiver made its way down your spine, as though he were right behind you, leaning in to breathe them directly into your ear.

but of course, he wasn’t. and what you were doing right now was wrong, on so many levels.

you made the move to walk away as his muffled words went on, but you soon realised you just couldn’t. you almost felt magnetised, your questions pulling you in despite every other rational thought running through your head.

cause after all, what was the saying? curiosity only killed that one cat?

something like that, yeah.

so, you slowly cracked the door open just enough to sneak a peek. the view wasn’t perfect—sanji’s back was to you, his lean frame managing to block whoever he might be talking to. still, the scene in front of you told its own story. one hand gripped the edge of the counter, knuckles white, as though it was the only thing keeping him grounded. his shoulders were slightly hunched, carrying that telltale tension you’d come to recognise as his overthinking posture. 

man, what could possibly have him so worked up?

“you just…mean so much to me,” he spoke, voice clearer and softer than you’d ever heard it. slowly, he raked his fingers through his hair, sucking in a measured breath. “and i can’t hold this in any longer.”

oh shit.

was sanji confessing?

the thought sent a shooting pain right through your chest. you threw away all subtleties, craning your neck in every angle to get a better vantage point as your mind raced at a mile a minute. who could he possibly be talking to that meant “so much” to him…

not that you were jealous or anything.

“i think about you all the time.” he continued, each word coated with a sweetness that could very well make sugar seem bitter in comparison. “the way you bring people together, the way you laugh at all my jokes. i…i feel as if the whole world slows down when you’re around.”

i mean, it was sanji. he flirted with everyone, right? it was his thing. surely this was just one of those times, and it really wasn’t that deep. surely.

“and honestly? i think i might…” he trailed off. your eyes darted back and forth in the sliver of view you had, heart pounding as if it was silently urging, no begging, him to continue.

“...i think i might love you.”

scratch that. 

it was that deep. 

sanji was in love.

the idea hit harder than it should have. you’d spent so long brushing off his antics, telling yourself his charm was everyone’s to share. but now that he wasn’t performing, the vulnerable edge to his voice made it clear: whoever he was talking to truly mattered to him like no other. and the fact that it wasn’t you upset you a lot more than you’d thought.

the ache in your chest twisted into something unbearable, and before you could stop yourself, you fully pushed the door open, stepping into the room. sanji whipped around, startled, his golden hair slightly falling into his eyes as he made way for you to see who he had been speaking to. and as you followed your line of sight, your gaze fell to…

a steaming pot of soup?

you blinked. “sanji, are you…confessing to soup?”

the colour drained from his face before rushing back tenfold. “uh, love...just how long have you been listening?!”

“long enough,” you replied, stepping into the room as your shoulders lightened with something close to relief. you then crossed your arms, trying not to grin too big. “so… is it a mutual thing, or do you think soup prefers to keep it professional?”

he groaned, dragging a hand down his face, his cheeks blazing. “i wasn’t confessing to the soup, okay? i was just…practicing.”

you blinked, the tension in your chest loosening just enough to let out a shaky laugh. “practicing?” you repeated, your lips curling into a teasing smile despite the confusion still muddling your thoughts. “for what, exactly?”

sanji shifted, his posture tense but uncertain, vulnerability radiating from him in waves. his hand moved to the back of his neck, ruffling his golden locks in yet another rare gesture of nervousness you recognised. the confident chef, always so suave, now looked almost fragile under the weight of his own words.

“for you,” he admitted at last, the words barely above a whisper.

time seemed to stop, the weight of his confession crashing into you like a tidal wave. “me?” you managed to get out, voice trembling.

“yes, you,” he repeated, stronger this time, his gaze locking into yours. his blue eyes were raw, unguarded, brimming with emotion that made it impossible to look away. “i’ve been wanting to tell you for so long, you don’t even know.”

his words hung in the air between you, your chest tightening as you thought about his confession over and over.

sanji had been practicing. for you.

slowly, deliberately, you stepped closer, making sanji's eyes widen with a mix of nerves and intrigue. before he could speak, however, you brought your hands to his face, fingers softly brushing the edge of his jaw. his breath hitched as you tilted his head, shifting his gaze from the soup up close to you.

“now,” you murmured, voice low and steady, your smirk curling into something softer, “let’s try that again, shall we?”

masterlist

© ink-perfect; est. 2024.

[inlovewithquestionablecharacters]

Sanji X Reader: Forbidden fruit

Summary: You and Sanji decide to indulge in a mystery fruit not knowing of its effects on the human body.

Warnings: sex pollen, cowgirl, oral (f receiving), creampie, mutual masturbation, fingering, handjob, smut, penetration (p in v), fluff, dirty talk, pet names, nipple play, unprotected sex.

Word count: 2,5K

There was something wrong with your cook. It was the first thing you noticed when you walked into the kitchen at dinner. Sanji was leaning against the counter, his body hunched in a manner that allowed pressure to be applied to his stomach. You were about to ask him about it when Luffy barged into the room causing Sanji's head to snap up. For a split second you noticed the discomfort in his face but it was quickly replaced with a pleased smile as Luffy began complementing the blonde on his meal.

You moved to your usual seat next to Nami before beginning to eat. Once everyone was sitting, Sanji took his usual spot at the table which happened to be next to you. You ate in silence, listening to the others talk while keeping an eye on Sanji. He was unusually quiet, he hadn't even backtalked Zoro after he complained about his meat being slightly overcooked. You nudged Sanji's leg with your foot making him flinch in his seat before turning to look at you. His eyes found yours in desperation. You noticed his pupils were strangely large.

"You okay Sanji?"

You placed your hand on his making him let out a groan at the contact and causing you to distance your hand from his skin. Even without touching him properly you could tell he was warm, far warmer than normal. Sanji whispered your name, his voice so raw you almost didn’t recognize it.

“What is it? What's wrong with you?”

You could hear the unsteady breathing of the blonde as he tried to answer your question. It took him a little while but he finally managed to get a phrase out.

“It’s the juice.”

“What?”

“You know, THE juice.”

You furrow your eyebrows. Had Sanji finally lost it? Was the time at sea finally getting to him? Was he… Wait a minute. Your eyes widened as you understood what he was talking about. On the last adventure you and Sanji had gone scouring for food on the island and found an unusual looking fruit. It wasn’t a demon fruit but it didn’t look like anything you’d seen before and like the curious people you were you decided to take it with you. Sanji had contemplated what to do with the fruit for a while, deciding it would be best used to make a beverage. Unfortunately the one fruit only made enough for two people. You and Sanji hadn't told the others about what you’d found so you didn’t think it would do any harm if you two drank the juice yourselfs. You’d been the one who found the fruit after all. 

Sanji was regretting the decision at the moment. His skin felt like it was on fire and there was this invisible itch he couldn’t seem to scratch. It had started a couple of minutes after he’d finished cooking dinner. He hadn't thought much of it but then the feeling got more intense which caused him to panic. He’d been trying to figure out how to deal with his issue when you’d walked in the second his eyes caught onto your frame the feeling doubled. It was only then that he realized what was happening. 

Sanji was horny. Incredibly horny. 

In all the years he’d been alive he’d never felt desperate for sex. He didn’t even think it was physically possible to feel this turned on which could only mean one thing. The fruit which the two of you had found was some sort of aphrodisiac. And you’d put it in your body willingly. Sanji's eyes stared at you, his palms covering the hard on he was currently trying to deal with in silence. He could tell from your confused expression that you still hadn’t understood what he meant. Sanji took a deep breath in, trying to steady his breathing and uncloud his thoughts enough to explain what was going on.

He looked up at you, his eyes fidgeting from your neck to your lips before landing on your eyes. It was then that he saw it. He watched your pupils grow, your lips opening to let out a small gasp as your hand grabbed onto the bench beneath you. Sanji could tell just by looking at you that the fruit's effects had started to get to you. Your hand found its way to his thigh, nails digging into his pants suit. A moan threatened to spill out of Sanjis mouth at the contact but he held it in, managing to cover it with a cough. The cook knew that in a couple of seconds the small itch that had found its way into your body would become unbearable.

There was no way the two of you would be able to be next to each other without ripping your clothes off. Not that he minded but he’d like to have the image of your nude body to himself. He was selfish that way. So with the intention to not let things escalate to the point where you’d both embarrass  yourselves Sanji got up from his seat, making sure to keep his body in a position that hid his hard on. You looked up at him with desperate eyes thinking for a moment that he was going to leave you alone to deal with this feeling but then he placed his hand out, grabbing your forearm and lifting you up. He pushed your body in front of him, his clothed cock nudging against your ass from a brief moment. You both let out a whimper at the feeling, your senses being far more sensitive than normal. The rest of the crew raised their heads to look at the two of you, their eyes silently asking what was going on. 

“I don’t feel so well.”

“Yeah-uh-so i'm gonna get her to bed.”

The two of you raced out of the kitchen before anyone could say anything. Sanji ran in front of you, his hand clasped in yours as he dragged you to the boys dormitory. You’d barely made it to his room before he started unbuttoning his shirt. You tugged at your pants a satisfied sound leaving your lips once you managed to shove your hand down your underwear, fingers moving to play with your folds. Sanji's head snapped in your direction at the sound of your moans, his eyes widening as he watched you touch yourself. 

“Ah shit.”

You glanced up at the sound of Sanji's voice, eyes falling on his bare chest. You leaned your head back against the door rubbing your clit in desperation. You could hear the sound of Sanji fisting his cock across the room. It made you realize how far the two of you were. For some reason you craved the feeling of Sanji's skin on yours. You opened your eyes observing Sanji's concentrated expression for a moment before calling out his name. The blonde glanced at you, the hand around his dick slowing down slightly at the sound of you calling his name. Sanji took in the way you looked, shirt clinging to your body, hands shoved inside your underwear, eyes full of lust. You looked gorgeous. Positively gorgeous. Sanji could cum at the sight of you. In fact he almost did but somehow he managed to keep his composure. 

“Sanji….”

“Yeah?”

“Come closer. Too far away. I-ah uh-need to feel you.”

‘Fuck-ugh- okay.”

Sanji made his way to you, his eyes locked into the way your chest heaved as you breathed. Once he’d gotten close enough you’d tugged his hand and shoved it into your underwear, your own hand replacing his as you wrapped it around his cock. The feeling of your hand on his cock had Sanji leaning against the door behind you, his free hand finding its way onto the wood surface as he tried to keep his balance. You threw your head back with a moan as the blonde inserted two digits into your pussy, his long fingers rubbing against your walls.

“Shit you’re wet!”

He’d said it more to himself than he had to you, his mind not computing that he currently had his fingers shoved inside you as you jerked him off. He’d had dreams like this before but he never thought he would get to experience this in real life. You placed your free hand on the back of Sanji's head, fingers tugging at his hair, forcing him to let out a growl before looking at you.

“Please.”

“What?”

“Kiss me Sanji please kiss me.”

Sanji's lips found you in a smearing kiss. It was all teeth and tongue but neither of you seemed to care all that much. You broke the kiss, your lips finding Sanji's neck. You sucked at his pale skin loving the sounds you managed to get out of him. 

“Princess i’m gonna-fuck- cum.”

“Cum for me baby go ahead.”

With a groan Sanji spilled his load, his juices coating your hand as you helped him through his high. As soon as Sanji had recovered from his orgasm he dropped to his knees before you, his hands tugging your underwear down in one quick motion. The cook dove into your pussy without a second thought, his tongue working along with his fingers to bring you to heaven. It didn’t take long before you were spasming against Sanji's face, his name leaving your lips with a loud moan. 

You sank down against the door joining Sanji on the floor. His hands wrapped around your body as he threw himself back so that he was lying down on the ground. You let Sanji drag you onto his body, your face finding its way to his neck as you sink into him. The two of you stayed on the floor for a little while. Neither of you said anything but you were both wondering the same thing. Had the effect of the fruit finally worn off? You’d almost convinced yourself that you were cured but then you started to feel an unusual amount of wetness in between your thighs. You shifted against Sanji's body, trying to lift yourself off him. As you moved your cunt nudged against Sanji's cock which, not to your surprise, was already hard again. You placed your palms against Sanji's chest, lifting your upper body so that you could look directly into his eyes. Like you had expected his pupils were still super dilated.

“I think it’s not gone.”

“Yeah it sure doesn't feel like it.”

“Right.”

You closed your eyes bracing yourself before speaking. You didn’t want to sound incredibly desperate because you didn’t want Sanji to think you were easy but given your situation you didn’t think he’d care. It’s not like you’d never thought about him late at night. It’s not like you didn’t like to watch him cook because it meant seeing his hands at work. But to admit it out loud was something completely different. You knew that from the moment the words left your mouth things between the two of you would never be the same. Oh well, you’d have to deal with the consequences later. Right now you wanted the feeling of emptiness to be gone and Sanji could give that to you.

“You need to fuck me.”

Sanji's eyes widened at your bluntness. It’s not that he wasn’t thinking the same thing, it was the fact that you’d had the guts to ask exactly for what he’d been too scared to suggest.

“What? You don’t want to?”

“No! No, of course I want to. It’s just….”

“Well, spit it out Sanji.”

“I thought it would be a bit different.”

“What would?”

“Our first time together.”

It was your turn to be speechless. He’d thought about this? Not only had he thought about fucking you he’d imagened it going a specific way. If any other man had said that to you you’d have cut his tongue out. But this is Sanji we're talking about. Your sweet Sanji who brought you tea when you felt bad and ordered the ingredients to make your favorite dishes even if it meant paying a bit more. You gave Sanji a smile,leaning down to give him a peck on the lips. Sanji's hand cupped your cheek, caressing it with his thumb as he smiled up at you.

“I’ll tell you what. Next time you can show me exactly how you imagined our first time but right now I'm gonna ride you until i cum, okay?”

“Whatever you want princess.”

“Good boy. Now take off your pants for me.”

You lifted your hips allowing Sanji to shimmy himself out of his pants and boxers. You reached down, grabbing the hem of your shift and pulling it off. Sanji's eyes trailed over your fully nude form, his hands massaging your hips as he admired you. You let him caress you, your own hand wrapping around his dick and lining it up with your entrance. Without warning you sank down onto Sanji causing the blonde to sink his nails into your skin. You let out a satisfied moan, hands wrapping around the cooks thighs as you begun fucking yourself on his cock. Sanji lifted his body so that he could latch his mouth on one of your boobs. His tongue moved against your nipple as his hand massaged your other breast. Both of you had been so horny that in a short amount of time you’d both begun to moan more and more, each one getting closer and closer to reaching your high. You came first, your body launching forward as your orgasm got to you. Sanji kept fucking up into you his seed spilling into you after a couple of harsh thrusts. 

You climbed off of Sanji whimpering as his cock slid against your sensitive walls. You laid down next to the blonde,  your eyes staring at the ceiling. You heard the sound of Sanji's pants dragging against the floor. Sanji shoved his hand into the pant pocket, pulling out a cigarette and a lighter. He flicked the lighter on lighting the cigar before taking a drag. You watched him breath out smoke before turning over to give you the cigar. You took it from him, taking a drag and letting it out through your nose.

“How are you feeling?”

“Good. Normal. You?”

“Yeah same.”

“Note to self, don’t eat fruit you don’t know anything about.”

“You would have thought we would have already learned that, because of Luffy and all.”

“Yeah figures.”

“It wasn't all bad though.”

“No it wasn’t.”

“Might have to find another exotic fruit to share with you.”

You turned to look at Sanji, noticing the slight fear in his eyes.

“Just so you know. You don’t need to feed me any fruit to fuck me. You can just ask.”

Sanji let out a shocked laugh making you laugh too.

“I mean it.”

“Noted.”

You smiled at Sanji, moving so that you were closer to him. Sanji angled his head down so that he could kiss you. You got the message deciding to meet him halfway. Despite not being under the effects of an aphrodisiac the feeling of Sanji's lips against yours sent a twinge down your spine and you could tell he felt the same way.

[papergardener]

Yooo this fic updated! And it's Cycle One!

New chapter of solace up now!

Chapter 1: Cycle 1

[anistarrose]

TBH the Wonderland twins could've gotten over all their unspoken narrative-haunting grief about their third dead sibling really easily if they'd just ever met Magic Brian. They would've loved Magic Brian and he would've loved them. New brother unlocked (evil German edition this time which honestly to them is an upgrade)

[luckylolabug]

I've been trying to figure out good final designs for the Hooked Up fic since they're all losers working at a museum so heres the first half???? (Krav gets two because yknow. Reaper shit)

[epersonae]

Not to be old, but I am thinking about things we lost with the end of over the air TV syndication as a common cultural vector.

I was in a conversation (several conversations) about where to start with Star Trek, and where people started, and ended up formulating the thought that the best way to start is to just randomly encounter whatever happens to be on at the time and go from there. (I know a few people a little older than I am who started with The Animated Series which is a hell of a starting point.) And for decades that meant random reruns in syndication.

Then I just posted about the role of M*A*S*H in my childhood, and that too was all about it just being on kind of in the background all the time.

Then @piratecaptainscaptainpirates posted about seeing declining participation in OFMD stuff, and I was thinking about the same thing that happened gradually after the TAZ Balance finale, and then about fandoms for old shows (both recent-old, someone I follow has been posting a lot of Gallavant gifs? And old-old, like @frommybookbook with Perry Mason), and then, of course, Star Trek.

How much of Star Trek being THE fandom show is due to those years in the 70s and early 80s when TOS was in syndication at whatever random time on whatever local station? (similarly in the US with Doctor Who through the 80s on local PBS stations) When new fans can just happen upon the source material by turning on the TV on a Saturday afternoon, or every weeknight at 7, etc etc.

Idk, I'm sure someone with an actual scholarly background has written something about this, and idk what this means for the future of our little subculture(s), it just made me ponder the landscape that I grew up in that simply does not exist now.

[anystalker707]

a treat for a treat

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x [gn, afab] Reader Summary: Reader is a little insecure about the weight they've been gaining from being pampered by Sanji, but he makes sure his lover feels loved Tags: ☆ transmasc friendly / ☆ chubby reader / loving and sweet / eating out (reader receiving) / thigh fucking / tummy, thighs, ass squeezing / mention of chest, cunt and pussy, but still gender neutral

Requested by @faglegsanji ["hiiii!! would you be open to write sanji x ftm!reader who is chubby (from enjoying all the treat sanji makes for him) and insecure about it? with some soft nsfw body worship and lots of sweet talk and nicknames? thank you!!! (owo)/~"]

MASTERLIST

          Sanji always made too much food, and how could you possibly not eat some of everything he prepared? It was torture, in a good sense. Moreover, Sanji had certainly been preparing more food after noticing your love for his work—you’d absentmindedly mention certain food when talking with the others and have it in front of you within minutes.

Your reflection seemed a little more pudgy as you stood in front of the body mirror while changing into more comfortable clothes for the day, noticing how your shirt clung to your skin more than usual. Damn Sanji. 

“Mon amour,” Sanji called in that sweet voice, twirling as he walked in and made his way over to you with a tray in hand, with what looked like a glass of juice on top of it. “For the prettiest one, ever.” He lowered the tray in front of you, making your heart flutter at the same time you groaned.

“Sanji… I swear,” you breathed, taking the glass.

“What, cœur? That you love me?”

The words you died on your tongue as you scoffed and shook your head before taking a sip of the juice. It was heavenly, as always. “You’re— Nngh, what are you doing to me? I’m getting all chubby,” you mumbled with a sigh, and your cheeks grew warm when Sanji chuckled lightheartedly, setting the tray on the desk.

“Mhm, and what’s so bad about it? It means you’re eating well,” Sanji said as he moved to stand behind you, placing his hands on your hips. “That I’m taking care of you very well,” he whispered and pressed a kiss to your shoulder, ignoring how you glared at him, cheeks red. “You’re shaped like a deity, mon amour, absolutely celestial, I don’t see what you’re complaining about.”

A sigh escaped your lips, and you put the now-empty glass aside, furrowing your eyebrows at Sanji. “I don’t know. Some clothes aren’t even fitting anymore!”

“C'est malheureux!” Sanji said with phony sadness while walking around you and cupping your cheeks so that he could pepper your face with kisses, compelling your heart to flutter. His goatee and mustache tickled your skin, but you were somewhat used to it already. “Then we might as well just buy you new clothes, miel, ones that suit you well, comfortable ones,” he said simply. “I would love to go with you buy new clothes and help you choose what looks better on you.” His hands landed on your waist as he leaned in, kissing your cheek, almost kissing down your neck, while your hands met his shoulders.

“No, but… Sanji, I shouldn’t be gaining weight…” It sounded like a small whine, almost muffled by the love that Sanji smothered you with.

Sanji scoffed lightly, confusion lacing his features. “Well, I don’t see any bad in it. You’re enjoying good food, you’re exercising, since we are always on the run, you’re healthy… Then what’s there to worry about? You’re still looking as beautiful as ever if that’s what you might be wondering. I love you no matter what, so you shouldn’t worry about it as well,” he said casually.

Sanji’s lips pressed to yours in a soft kiss before you could say anything else, making the words escape your grasp, replaced by his tender love. “I love every single curve, mon chou,” Sanji whispered against your lips, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist as he trailed kisses down the side of your neck. “Can I show you? I want to kiss every inch of you, mon ange,” he said, dropping sweet words between kisses as he held you close to himself. His hands trailed down lower, grasping the fat of your ass to pull you even closer, pressing your body flush against him. 

Sanji knew how to make you melt so easily that it was almost shameful, snatching soft little sounds from you while he covered your skin with kisses. “I need you, mon amour. May I? Please?” He pulled away just enough to look you in the eyes, with such an enamored gaze…

Everything Sanji did to you was laced with love, from how he looked at you to how his hands slid along your body while removing your clothes. Adoration dripped from Sanji’s touches when he groped your tummy, thighs, chest, ass, appreciating every curve, wordlessly demonstrating his care and affection for every inch of you.

Sanji only took his clothes off because he knew you enjoyed the sight of his body, the feel of touching his body, it is. Otherwise, he would’ve kept his clothes on because the spotlight belonged to you and only you for the time being. His hands settled on your hips, gently compelling you to step back until the bed hit the back of your legs, and he let go of you so that he could guide you over the mattress, climbing on top of you.

Your back had barely hit the mattress, and Sanji’s lips were already all over your chest, kissing over wherever he could while his hands held firmly onto your waist, facial hair tickling your skin. He cherished the skin with loving kisses that intercalated with nipping and love bites, leaving faint marks on your body as he descended, slowly.

The kisses on your chest sent shivers down your spine, contributing to the feeling stirring in your lower stomach and tingling between your legs, making you squirm under him. Sanji’s focus was unwavering, the pleasure continued despite how your fingers tangled with his hair or sank into his shoulder—his lips kept latched around your nipple, tracing and sucking on it as he slowly adjusted himself between your legs. Sparkles ran down your body when Sanji’s teeth sank into your nipple lightly, almost making the throbbing between your legs unbearable.

“Sanji,” you gasped in a whiny moan.

“Mon chou, you’re irrésistible,” he moaned in response, nuzzling the middle of your chest before his lips trailed lower, holding eye contact for a few seconds.

Sanji wanted to do a lot of things at once, please you in every way he was able to, hence he could barely organize his thoughts. He kissed your tummy softly, sometimes nipping on the soft skin, just because he loved how you squirmed whenever he did so. Still, Sanji was surprised with the way you reacted when he nipped on your hip, his hands holding your thighs firmly to prevent you from squirming—or at least trying to.

“You’re so sensitive, mon amour.” Sanji’s breath tickled your skin. “Has it really been that long since I last touched you like this?” He pressed his face to your skin, pampering it with kisses and nipping as he adjusted your thighs over his shoulders. His fingers sank into the plump skin, holding it tightly, as his lips trailed soft kisses along your inner thigh. His eyes locked on your pussy, and the fact you were so aroused, so wet, all for him made Sanji’s cock twitch painfully against the mattress. This wasn’t about him, either way.

Sanji’s eyes looked for yours, but he soon gave up, more satisfied that you were too lost in the haze of the moment to bring yourself to look down at him. He watched your knuckles turn white around the bedsheets while his kisses and nips got closer to the pool of arousal between your legs, holding onto your trembling thighs firmly.

A moan spilled from your lips as soon as Sanji’s tongue dipped between your folds, testing your wetness, tasting you, just experimentally at first, testing the pace he’d need to take things so that it’d last. Not to mention how he’d need to balance it with his own hunger.

The feeling of Sanji’s warm tongue running from your entrance to your clit and then down again was more than enough to have you arching your back deliciously, slowly getting used to the pleasure that Sanji gave you. His tongue was skilled, knowing all your sensitive spots already. Sanji was a good lover—he’d always made sure to learn whatever gave you pleasure, ever since you two got together, and he never failed.

The very same hunger from the beginning was still present whenever he pleasured you, no matter how many times he’d done that. Desire seeped from Sanji’s motions as he mouthed at your pussy, licking and drinking up the arousal that’d pooled there from all the foreplay. He hummed softly, feeling your pussy throb under his lips, motivating him to keep going.

“Mmph, mon amour,” Sanji intended to say, but it all came out as muffled nonsense that only heightened your pleasure because of the vibrations against your cunt.

Sanji’s name left your lips in a breathy moan while your thighs shook, and you really hadn’t been able to do much at the same time you received such a treatment. Thoughts escaped your grasp, clouded by the pleasure, making you forget what you were doing standing in front of the mirror earlier, looking at yourself with such indignation that now didn’t even make sense.

Your clit was swollen under Sanji’s tongue as it pressed flat against the nub before tracing it, giving attention to all the right spots that compelled your thighs to sandwich Sanji’s face, ankles locked behind his back. If anything, he loved every second of it, closing his eyes in delight once he started sucking on your clit.

Every nip, kiss, suck and lick felt measured to please you just the way Sanji intended to, with nothing by chance. He kept you on the edge of a growing bliss, fingers sinking into the fat of your thighs to keep you in place so that he could mouth at your pussy hungrily. He nipped on the outer labia to give you a break, but it felt like nothing, soon with his lips sealed around your clit again before his tongue was pushing into your entrance.

“Nngh, San— J-Ji—” You could barely say it through the gasp that escaped your throat with a louder moan. Your back arched against the mattress, and you really couldn’t keep yourself from rocking your hips against his mouth for more friction. A certain tension was starting to bubble in your lower stomach, fueling the urgency you felt. Your fingers hooked in Sanji’s hair, tugging at the blonde strands, and he moaned against your cunt again, mouthing at it with more enthusiasm.

Sanji’s tongue worked against your clit in an almost overwhelming way, compelling your legs to twitch as your eyes rolled back, and your vision nearly went blank before his attention went back to your entrance. A muffled sound came from Sanji as he ran his tongue flat against your entrance before fucking you with his tongue, nose pressing against your clit, moaning when his hair was tugged again—the pain just managed to make his cock twitch, aching for more. His hands ran up and down your thighs before going upwards to hold onto your hips, squeezing the plump skin that he loved so much.

Fighting the urge to pull Sanji closer was impossible, but he didn’t seem to mind as you did it, tugging on his hair and pressing his face more to your pussy when your orgasm hit you. Your eyes pressed shut as your thighs quivered, sandwiching Sanji’s head, and he kept feasting on you happily, his hold on your hips tight enough to leave behind red marks, but he really needed to keep you in place while drinking up your release and making it last for as long as possible.

The mess was the least of Sanji’s worries about pleasing you; his soaked mustache and goatee, the mix of cum and spit that trailed down his chin and smeared around his lips, all of that was meaningless as he sucked on your clit until you were on the edge of overstimulation.

Your legs had gone limp when Sanji pulled away, gently letting the rest on the mattress so that he could sit up, rolling his shoulders and moving his jaw from side to side as he did so. The sight of your blissful face was like heaven for him, in a way he needed to take a while to observe and drink in every detail of your expression and of your body, from head and down.

Nonetheless, Sanji still had an aching problem between his legs to be taken care of, and he couldn’t expect it just to go away, nor could he force anything upon your overwhelmed form. He groaned as he looked down, observing your thighs before he held your legs together, an arm hooked under your knees.

“Tu es divine, mon amour,” Sanji moaned, biting his lip. The slick that coated your legs was just enough for his cock to slip smoothly between your inner thighs, and he couldn’t help but groan. Your eyes met his, with pleasure still hazy in your gaze, and he felt his cock twitch, hopelessly cumming across your tummy, some of his cum smearing between your thighs. He had come so fast, barely touched, and he felt the shame burning inside his chest—he moved and leaned in to pepper soft kisses across your face and down your neck, hoping to redeem himself. “Sorry, mon ange, I—”

Sanji’s words were replaced by a hum when your lips pressed to his, your hands cupping his cheeks, and he slowly melted into the kiss. “Give me more, Sanji, please,” you mumbled between kisses, and all he could do was nod.

.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.

[fanaticsnail]

Fic Inspo: Sanji's Remedial Massage

(intense rehabilitation massage after training: source, Instagram & tiktok)

The way my ex-athlete heart hurts for the current ouch he's going through, but super happy on the freedom he gets afterwards from the relief.

[barry-j-blupjeans]

TAZ 2023 Fic Recs

It is that time of year again! Unfortunately, I don't have as many as last year, mainly because work and Life have been a lot this year. But I am very, very glad to share the fics I have loved this year and I'm looking forward to any other recs!

A Candlenights Barold by @sgrumby - or honestly, all three of the Reaper Squad Candlenights fics! Based off that one liveshow where Merle became Santa Clause. Now it is the job of Barry, Lup, and Kravitz to deliver presents to children every Candlenights! This one is based off A Christmas Carol and is not only hilarious but also super in character.

The Best Version Possible by @thedaisiestdaisy - Taako's experience with past romances, his current one with Kravitz, as well as the aftermath of Story and Song. This is a beautiful, meaningful fic that hits me in the feels every time I read it. It's such a deep, refreshing dive into Taako's character.

a monster might begin to worry by @anistarrose - In short, a Barry-kills-Governer-Kalen AU. In long: Such a good fucking fic. Rose's character voices are top notch and she's so incredibly good at playing with emotions and building up scenes. It's a god-tier Magnus fic, with some fun Magnus-Kravitz interactions and some wonderful hurt/comfort.

Also by Rose and very worth reading:

fill up your lungs, feel better - Barry spies on the BOBs corporate excursion and realizes his family still cares, even if they don't truly know him.

to eat from a poisoned plate - Barry leaves notes in Taako's cookbook.

somewhere over the rainbow (bluebirds fly) - Maureen and Lucretia fall in love. Then, Maureen and Lucretia fall out of love.

midlife crises, laboratory niceties - Barry bulldozes his way into being on the Starblaster crew. Davenport is very concerned <3

colors of space and time - Taako and Lup's relationship with their hair.

Rode Hard And Put Away Wet by @holdmecloser-gandydancer - Band AU!! My beloved!! Lup, Johann, and Kravitz are in a band and it gets. Tough. To put it lightly. Whenever Lup discovers Kravitz and Taako are hooking up. This is a WONDERFUL and super funny fic, that also has it's moments of deep reflections and a lil angst! Plus, Blupjeans! We love that!

Astrology for Horse Jugglers by @noodyl-blasstal - Kravitz and Taako meet at a wedding. This goes badly for everyone except them. This fic is pure chaos and I adore it so, so much.

We Got Boned! - Another one by Noodyl! Barry and Lup write a book for payback, kinda. This one is such a fun, weird turn of events. I cannot describe my love for it.

Revenge Plus One by @ceilingfan5 - Kravitz is invited by his ex (Edward) to go on a cruise. A cruise that will host Edward's wedding. And, to add insult to injury, Edward (rightly) assumes that Kravitz will have no one to bring along. So Kravitz does the responsible adult thing: Invite the gorgeous man who sells bagels in the work cafeteria (Taako) on the cruise with him. There is fake dating! There is tension! There is romance! I love this fic so much, I want to eat it.

a lesson in boy math - Also by Larissa! Speed-dating, Taakitz style. Both Taako and Kravitz are the best shade of weird in this <3

fashion statement by @journalofimprobablethings - Taako takes Lup's robe when he finds her and the umbrella. Lucretia deals with that. This fic? Destroyed me. And I loved it. It's pretty full of angst but the good kind, y'know?? I'm in love.

That's all I got this year!! I hope you all enjoy these fics as much as I did! They're all incredible and I love seeing all the different ideas and takes everyone has :O

[noodyl-blasstal]

18 and 50 🥰💕💕💕🍰🎂🧁🚨

Six months seems like a perfectly reasonable response time... right? RIGHT?

The prompts were: 18 & 50 We both showed up alone to the couples cake decorating class, so obviously-... and Fighting? No, no, we're having a great time arguing about this.

Enjoy below or on Ao3

---

Kravitz hates his colleagues, Kravitz hates them so hard and double and backwards. The power of his hatred is turned up to eleven. He’s going to switch the office coffee to decaf, he’s going to move everything round in the fridge, he’s going to take all the good name brand parcel tape and replace it with the shit stuff that sticks to you more than whatever you’re trying to wrap up. But he’s not. Not really. He’s going to walk into the couples cake decorating class which they didn’t mention he needed a plus one for, and he’s going to have a ‘marvellous’ time. Just like Lydia said he should when she waved him away earlier. But this time, this time he’s not going to believe them when they say they ‘forgot’ or ‘misread the ticket’, because Kravitz is not gullible. Maybe that really did happen the first four times, but five is suspicious. Five stinks of deception. Five are on Craggy Island and they know someone’s been fucking things up for them on purpose.

“Hello!” Says the wall of a man at the door in a worryingly joyful tone. It looks like he’s working hard not to grab Kravitz in a hug. Kravitz appreciates the effort. He does not like to be touched. Lydia says it’s because he needs to work on his social skills. Kravitz thinks that it’s probably because she and Edward need to learn about boundaries. “What’s your name? I’m Magnus!”

Kravitz hands over his ticket with a tight smile.

“Ah, yes, I have you on the list, a last minute addition! Welcome Cravat.”

“It’s Kravitz.” Says Kravitz, trying not to be terse, and failing hideously. They know exactly how much he hates it when people call him that. Namely them, because no one else does. But this isn’t Magnus’ fault, he seems very nice and very excited about event administration, and not responsible for the terrible people Kravitz needs to not work with anymore.

Magnus’s face falls. “Oh… they spelled it twice on the phone…” He gives Kravitz a searching look. “Are you sure?”

“Am I sure what my own name  is?”

“I’m not judging you, sometimes people forget things. I don’t mind.” Magnus shoots him a disarmingly encouraging smile and the fighting winds leave his sails.

“I’m sure that my name is Kravitz.” Says Kravitz in the most measured tone he can muster. Maybe if he explains… he can just practise telling someone how awful they are. He’ll never ever have to see Magnus again. “My colleagues are complete… they’re not very… they like to… it’s a joke.” He finishes lamely. It’s fine. He can practise the conversation in the shower and then write a little script before he tells anyone else.

“Okay then…” Magnus pauses, shape of the “C” in his mouth. Kravitz’s lips draw into a thin line. “...Kravitz. Welcome to cake club! Tonight we’re decorating with the very best boys. Is your partner here yet?”

Kravitz’s mouth gets even tighter. “It’ll just be me.”

“At the couples decorating class?” Magnus asks like Kravitz is being ridiculous.

“Yes at the couples decorating class.” Kravitz smiles his very best customer service smile and hopes for the best.

“Okay.” Magnus says slowly. “Yeah, we can work with that.” Magnus gives him a once over. “The suit will definitely help.”

Kravitz has a distinct feeling that he’s being appraised against a firm set of criteria.

“Yeah. You’ll be fine. Come on. Julia will be starting soon and you’re the last one here.” Magnus shoos him through the door.

Kravitz is 30 minutes early. There’s no way he can be the last one here! He’s never late! He…’s going to switch out Edward’s sticky tack for the one that feels all weird and over stretchy. Surely it’s bad enough for him to show up without a person and incorrectly named, he doesn’t need lateness to complete the trifecta. They’re twins, they should only be allowed to do two bad things in one go, that’s only fair.

“Here you go.” Magnus points to a station with a large, intimidating array of tools which put him in mind of a surgery table, a stack of colourful bags thankfully pre-loaded with icing, and two aprons covered in hearts set next to each other.

“I’ll just…” Magnus leans past him to grab one of them and laboriously inch it away as if Kravitz won’t see as long as the movements are slow.

“You too, huh?” Asks the man on the adjoining station. He’s alone too. Although he appears to be wearing both aprons, one on the front and one on the back.

“Yep.” Kravitz tries not to make eye contact. He doesn’t need pity.

“On purpose?” The man asks.

“No.” Maybe if he keeps his answers short the man will realise this conversation isn’t going to happen.

“I did.” Kravitz sees the man shrug out of the corner of his eye. “Societal expectations can suck it, couples decorating class? Taako’s a baller chef, just wait, you’re going to be amazed by how many arms I have.”

“Is it more than two?” Kravitz turns to look, immediately forgetting his previous strategy.

“You’ll have to wait and see.” The man winks dramatically.

He’s handsome, very handsome. Dirty blonde hair in a plait down his back, a light scrub of stubble across his jaw, and so many jangly earrings and necklaces that Kravitz can’t help but stare.

“Ah fantastic idea!” The woman at the front of the class, Julia, Kravitz assumes, beams as Magnus points at the two of them. “As you two are already getting to know each other, why don’t you work together?” She smiles like she’s doing them a favour.

Everyone turns to look.

Kravitz doesn’t want to be perceived right now, not for this reason. He doesn’t need everyone to look at him and know he’s here alone and needs to be paired up with someone while all these couples came together on purpose. His face grows hot and his mouth clamps closed and his fingers definitely aren’t working and he doesn’t want to check in with his legs about it.

There’s a horrible screeching noise.

“Taako!” Julia winces. “Could you…”

The rest of her sentence is drowned out by another horrible screech as he laboriously moves his stool.

“Just following instructions.” The man who must be called Taako? (Surely not?) calls cheerfully as he settles down next to Kravitz

“Right. Well, now that you’re done…” 

The stool screeches again. 

“Taako!”

“Sorry.” He doesn’t look even a little bit sorry.

Kravitz stifles a laugh. As much as he appreciates the interruption he doesn’t want to get tarred with the same brush. He refuses to get detention. Can you get cooking class detention? That would probably be a good thing, he needs all the help he can get… so maybe they’d ask him to leave early instead? Either way, he doesn’t want to do anything wrong enough to find out.

“If you’re done?” Julia levels a frankly terrifying stare their way and the stool screecher sits up straight and attentive.

“Hello everyone! I’m Julia Burnsides, and this is my lovely assistant Magnus Burnsides.”

Magnus waves happily at them all then delivers a positively goopy smile to Julia. She returns it. They’re disgusting. Kravitz hates them. (Kravitz envies them deeply.)

“Tonight we’re going to turn this…” Julia holds up a scandalously nude cupcake. 

“Into this!” Magnus shouts, enthusiastic and  loud enough to make Kravitz jump slightly in his seat. 

Taako doesn’t disguise his laugh.

Kravitz would glare at him, but he’s been reliably informed it’s not polite, so he settles for shushing Taako and making sure he’s exuding ‘Paying Attention In Class Like It’s His Job’ energy. In fact, it is his job, it’s both of their jobs, because they entered into the education contract by signing up for the class even if it was under false pretences and someone else signed up on his behalf as a joke.

A sharp elbow digs him in the ribs. “What do you think the cake’s supposed to be?” The man is, at least, keeping his voice down slightly, no one turns round to tell them off.

Kravitz doesn’t turn round. He’s being a good student. Also, he has absolutely no idea what the thing Magnus is proudly brandishing at them is. Maybe a tractor?

“This is a dog that Magnus made.” Julia adds helpfully. Kravitz has to assume the bemusement which is likely apparent on his face is also mirrored across the other attendees.

“Here’s another version.” She holds up a much more dog-like dog. “We’re going to take you through step by step.” Julia smiles so reassuringly that Kravitz is almost convinced he’s going to be able to make his very own dog tractor.

“First off, you’ll need to come to the front in turn and get your cupcakes. If we could have this table first?” Julia points at the front left bench, as far from them as they can possibly get. Are they being punished? Are there going to be worse cakes for them because they broke the rules and came alone?

“Don’t worry.” The man says conspiratorially and slides a tupperware onto the table. “I brought my own.”

“What?” Kravitz isn’t sure that’s legal. Can he go down for this? Existing in the presence of contraband cake might summon the bakery police.

“They’ll just have vanilla. These are salted caramel, mocha, strawberry - with the proper stuff, you know, Taako doesn’t fuck with extract only nonsense - and vanilla but it has beans so you can’t say that it’s the same as the ones here.” He cracks the lid as he talks and glorious cakey smells waft out.

“Are we allowed?” Kravitz asks quiet and serious. Maybe there’s a rule he doesn’t know about. Maybe Lydia and Edward forgot to mention it was BYOC… that seems about right honestly.

“Doesn’t matter, does it, kemosabe, because we’ve done it already.” The man shrugs as if he’s not worried about getting a bad mark in cake.

“Ah.” Kravitz says, not entirely ready to make himself an accomplice.

“Here, try one. What’s your poison? You seem like a guy who caffeinates.” The man holds a chocolatey, coffee-y treat his way. “Go on, it’ll blow your mind, Taako guarantees it.”

Kravitz really wants the cake. It smells amazing and his lunch disappeared from the fridge yet again so all he’s had to eat was the sad, crumbly granola bar he found at the back of his desk drawer…

The man, who does in fact seem to be called Taako starts to withdraw his hand. “Well, if you don’t want it then I guess.”

“Wait!” Kravitz grabs it quickly. It’s not polite, but he’s not risking missing out. “You’re sure you have enough?”

“Cha’boy brought plenty. Taako can’t believe you’d doubt him like this. We’ve been together for 16 years, happily married for 15 years and fifty one weeks of that time, and still you don’t trust me.”

“We had a bad week?” Kravitz breaks off a piece of the cake.

Taako looks offended. “No!” 

“But you said…”

“We got married a week after we met.” Taako says firmly. “Now eat your cake, snugglepuss.”

Kravitz winces. “Snugglepuss?” 

“That’s what you’ve got the issue with? Not our timeline?” 

“Well we were just so in love.” Kravitz refuses to be beaten in imagination table tennis. “How could I do anything but ask you to marry me after that glorious week of cross country skiing? I bought the ring on our lunch break on day two.”

“Cross country skiing?” Taako cocks an eyebrow, but he’s still smiling. Not in the mean way either, the way when sometimes you think you’re playing the same game, but you’re very much not and they’re just gathering data to inform exactly how much they’re going to ostracise you (it’s lots, it’s always lots.)

“I loved the way your thigh muscles strained when you tried to get out of the hole.” Kravitz tries very hard not to think about Taako in a skin tight ski suit. He’s never been skiing, but his brain is doing a great job of thinking up some things he definitely shouldn’t be paying attention to.

He shoves the cake in his mouth to distract himself.

It’s incredible.

He doesn’t know the technical terms, but it’s got all the cake things, the taste and the texture and the… crumb. That’s definitely a cake thing.

“These are magic.” Kravitz tries to force himself to chew his next bite slower and actually savour it. 

He fails. 

Taako’s looks at him again, he really looks at him, drags his eyes slowly down to Kravitz’s toes and back up again, then grins.

“I’m Kravitz.” Kravitz says, because he can’t think of anything better and it seems polite. 

“You sure are, kemosabe.” Taako winks an exaggerated overblown wink. “Cha’boy’s Taako, but you figured that out for yourself.”

Kravitz shouldn’t feel proud, but he does.

“Now that everyone has their cake we need you all to find the nozzle which will make the kind of hair you want your dog to have.” Julia holds up one of the nozzles which is full of holes. “For example, this one could be a pomeranian running.” 

Kravitz writes a question mark in his pocket notebook after ‘pomeranian running’. It’s a tiny rebellion but Taako snorts gently next to him and it feels good. Well, mostly. Kravitz hopes Taako’s laughing at the concept and not him.

Taako picks up a nozzle.

“I’d like you to all pick up your nozzle and try piping with the practice bag, use the greaseproof paper to get the motion. You’ll be looking for something like this.” She pipes a perfectly windswept dab of buttercream fur onto her parchment.

Taako’s not piping onto the parchment. 

Taako’s piping directly onto the cake.

“Taako!” Kravitz whispershouts like his life depends on it, because it does. Julia looks strong.

Taako doesn’t acknowledge him.

“Taako, that’s not the parchment.” Kravitz, helpfully, nudges it towards him. Maybe it’s just a misunderstanding. Maybe they won’t go down for willful buttercrime, they’ll get a reduced sentence because it was an accident.

“Rules guy, are we?” Taako’s still piping.

Kravitz is, in fact, a rules guy. Why would they exist if they weren’t important?

Taako stops piping.

“Taako!” Kravitz doesn’t shout, but he wants to.

“That’s cha’boy’s handle.”

“That’s a fish.”

Taako looks offended. “It’s a horse.”

Kravitz does the weird snorty laugh he usually saves for home.

“Honse.” Taako points at the cake. “Look at his beautiful flowing mane.”

“That’s a fin.”

“Horse fin.”

“Horses don’t have fins.”

“Fish don’t have manes.” Taako says like he’s winning at something.

He’s not.

“If he’s a horse then where are his teeth?”

“Oh, Taako sees your game, you think horses have to be happy all the time, do you? Got to pander to your human whims and do a nice big horsey smile so you can appreciate what a nice horse life they have? What if his wife just left him? What then, my guy? Does he still have to smile for you?”

“He clearly left his horse wife.” Kravitz shrugs nonchalantly.

“Why?” Taako leans in, desperate for the gossip.

“Because he was a fish, and she was a horse, can I make it any more obvious?”

“She had a trunk, and he didn’t neigh.”

“What more can I say?” Kravitz mutters quickly before tackling the bigger question, because he’s a gentleman. “Horses don’t have trunks. I’m deeply concerned about your equine knowledge.”

“Maybe you’re the one that isn’t as much of a horse specialist as you thought, hmmm? Ever think about that? Maybe, just maybe, you’re not Dr Horse; King of Horses.”

Kravitz tries very hard not to be offended, but it’s not nice to be doubted. “I’ve got three PhDs in horse, actually, it’s Dr Dr Dr Horse, King of Horses to you.”  

Taako picks up the piping bag again. “Well what if…” He pipes a glorious un-horselike appendage.”

“That’s a…?”

Taako squidges the bag again.

“Horn.” Taako says with confidence.

“Two horns.”

“Yep.” Taako looks pleased with himself. “Horse!” 

“And you think that they have…”

“Garyl does.” Taako says firmly. “Are you going to tell him to his beautiful horse face that he isn’t one?”

“No.” Kravitz says, because he’s not. Mostly because there’s no chance he’s telling Taako to his very handsome face that he’s very bad at cake art. Or that the Longhorn Cowfish exists.

“What’s that?” Taako’s wielding the bag again.

“Tentacle.” Taako’s tongue is poking out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrates and it makes Kravitz’s chest ache with longing for… something. The last of the evening sun is streaming through the window, Taako’s glowy and glorious and Kravitz longs to take a photo just so he can keep the moment in his pocket. It feels good, it feels like they’re on the same side, it’s them against the cake establishment. It’s been a long time since he felt like he had an ally.

“It’s a horse tentacle?” Kravitz asks, just in case there’s a chance Taako is pivoting to something more sea themed.

“Horse tentacle.” He confirms.

“Taako, horses don’t have…” Kravitz thinks he should probably be exasperated, worried that whether it’s a horse or a fish, or an octopus, it’s definitely not right. Not that he’s an expert in animal maths, but horse + fish probably doesn’t equal dog, even if you squint.

“Then why does this one?” Taako’s raw confidence is terrible and wonderful to behold. Maybe Kravitz can learn from him. Is this how he defeats Lydia and Edward? Can he ask Taako if they can meet up again so he can learn? ‘If I buy you a drink or three can you teach me your raw charisma to help me deal with my shit colleagues please?’ surely can’t fail…

“Is everything okay here?” Julia stands in front of their counter, brow furrowed like she’s worried. To be fair, they definitely haven’t got anything that looks like fur happening.

“Yep.” Taako smiles up at her like he isn’t busy creating an abomination of both buttercream and nature.

“And you’re okay…” She takes a moment to remember his name. “Kravitz?”

“Oh, yes. Everything’s fine.” Kravitz lies, because Garyl needs a vet, or three, a whole team of specialists.

“It didn’t seem fine when you were fighting.” Julia looks pointedly at Taako.

“We’re not fighting!” Taako’s indignant, offended at the accusation. “We were just discussing taxonomy.”

Julia turns to Kravitz. “If you need us to find you a different station?”

“Did I do something wrong?” Oh, oh no, Kravitz straightens in shock. He isn’t this person. He’s good at classes, he’s good at teacher interaction, he has never ever ever had a bad grade and he doesn’t plan to start now.

“What? No.” Kravitz is very used to the perplexed expression that Julia is wearing. People direct it at him a lot. He wishes he wasn’t so familiar.

“She thinks I’m bothering you, handsome.”

“You’re not bothering me!” Kravitz replies before he processes the second part of the sentence. Taako thinks he’s handsome! He said it so he must mean it.

“Well you’re not bothering me. In fact I think you should not bother me after class and take Taako out for a drink. Cha’boy has some theories about how giraffes look that’re going to blow your mind.”

Kravitz resolutely doesn’t think about how there is another thing he would let Taako blow. “Yes… Yes absolutely,  I’d like that a lot Taako.”

“Gross.” Julia says happily. “Glad we could necessitate…” She pauses and waves her hand between them “... whatever this is with your fucked up fish cake.”

“It’s a horse!” They say indignant, unjustified, and perfectly synchronised.

[stars-n-kites]

not enough fics take advantage of the fact that taako is canonically a polyglot. dude knows six languages

[ink-perfect]

whisked (off your feet)

─ about: animanga/live action sanji ⋆. fem!reader, fluff, 2nd person ⋆. established friends, mutual pining, fem pet names, v cute cooking lesson!!!!! ─ synopsis: you wake up far too early, to the sight of sanji baking pancakes. soon enough, however, your silent observation turns into a cooking lesson that feels like something more…

sanji was in the kitchen, quietly moving between pots and pans, and you couldn’t help but watch him. it was early, the kind of early where the stars were still fading from the sky, and the rest of the crew was still lost in their dreams. but not you. you had woken up to the soft sound of someone humming, a familiar voice, warm and low, and you found yourself following it like a trail of breadcrumbs.

you peeked around the doorway and saw him there, in his element, the golden light of the stove casting soft shadows across his face. he didn’t notice you at first; he was too focused, too intent on whatever delicious creation he was crafting. you watched as he carefully flipped a pancake, his lips quirking up in that little smile he wore when he was pleased with his work. you couldn’t help but smile too. it was like he was in his own little world.

then, without warning, he glanced up, and his eyes met yours. his smile grew wider, warmer, like the morning sun breaking through the clouds.

“couldn’t sleep, princess?” he asked, his voice soft, teasing.

you shrugged, leaning against the doorway. “yeah...or maybe i just couldn’t resist the smell of whatever you’re making.”

his grin turned a bit more mischievous. “lucky for you, breakfast is almost ready.” he motioned for you to come closer, and you took a step into the kitchen, feeling the warmth of the room wrap around you.

“want to help, dear?” he asked, holding out a whisk. you hesitated for a moment, then took it, your fingers brushing against his. his touch was gentle, lingering just a bit too long, and your heart did a funny little flip.

“only if you promise to teach me your secrets,” you replied, trying to sound light, but there was something in his gaze that made your cheeks feel warm.

“oh, i’ve got plenty of secrets to share.” he said, leaning in just a little, his voice low and soft. “but only if you’re ready to learn.”

sanji watched you take the whisk, his smile softening into something warmer, something that made your chest feel tight in the best way. you stirred the batter, trying to keep your hands steady, but you could feel his gaze on you, the way he seemed to be paying attention to every little thing you did, like you were the only thing that mattered in that moment.

“like this,” he said, stepping closer. he reached around you, his hand covering yours, guiding your movements with a gentle touch. your breath caught in your throat; he was so close, his warmth and the scent of spices and fresh bread filling the space between you. for a second, you forgot what you were even doing.

“see?” his voice was barely a whisper now, and you felt the words more than you heard them, the way they brushed against your ear, soft and careful. “just a bit more gentle. you don’t have to rush, love.”

your heart was beating a little too fast, and you could feel the blush creeping up your neck. “i… i think i get it,” you managed to say, though your voice sounded a little too breathless, a little too caught off guard.

he chuckled softly, but there was nothing teasing in it, just a kind of fondness, a gentleness that made your heart do that funny little flip again. he stayed close for another moment, letting you feel the rhythm of his movements, the easy way he seemed to flow in the kitchen.

“you’re a quick learner, honey.” he murmured, his lips curving into that smile again, the one that made your knees feel weak.

“maybe i just have a good teacher,” you replied, turning to face him, and you were so close now that you could see the golden flecks in his blue eyes, the way they seemed to soften as he looked at you.

for a moment, you both just stood there, inches apart, the kitchen quiet around you, the world still sleeping. it felt like something was building in the air between you, something warm and bright, like the promise of the sunrise just outside.

then, with a sudden, playful grin, sanji took the whisk from your hand and dipped it into the bowl. “let’s finish this up,” he said, a spark in his eyes. “i’ve got a feeling today’s going to be a good day, and this is going to be a really good batch of pancakes.”

and you couldn’t help but agree. maybe it was the way he looked at you, or the way the morning light seemed a little brighter, but you felt it too - a quiet kind of happiness, settling in like something new, something wonderful.

── ౨ৎ masterlist

[asliceofzosan]

that picture of taz on a motorcycle had me feeling things so heres a wip i started again

please send zoro thoughts and prayers

[jerreeeeeee]

Balance fic recs

some of my favorite balance fics. various ages, popularities, and lengths. i’ve been wanting to do a rec list for a while!

caramel by nevereverever

The first time Taako is left alone, it isn't pretty. But their lives are stuck in a loop and people come back and die again and again and he wonders if there will ever be a time when he doesn't have to fear being left alone.

2.7k, Taako & Lup Lup dies one cycle and then, years later, she dies again. But she always comes back. Hurt/comfort of the best kind.

Warmth by noxic

"It was a well-known fact among the residents of the Starblaster that Lup, Barry, and Taako slept in the same bed more often than not. It was one of those things that they just did without really talking about it."

2.1k, Barry & Lup & Taako The BLT fic of all time. Quality platonic adult sleepovers.

Taako the Matchmaker by @fantasysamsclub

In which Taako tries to set up his sister. Events take place during Stolen Century.

11.1k, Blupjeans & Taako Taako tries to set up blupjeans. Miscommunication ensues. Very sweet and funny.

red fishing line by @anistarrose

A routine performance of Sizzle it Up goes nightmarishly wrong, and at Lup’s bedside, Taako feels helpless. And when a red-robed guest appears before him, Taako doesn’t know how or what to feel at all.

3k, Barry & Lup & Taako Also the BLT fic of all time. Excellent subtle Taako characterization, and my favorite depiction of the familiarity-but-not of being voidfished. Warning for major character death.

Sunny-Side Up by @barry-j-blupjeans

And the world? The world loved Taako. For once in his gods-damned life, people loved him. They didn’t care about all the flaws, they didn’t care where he came from or who he was before. They loved his food and they loved him. No one would ever quite be at Taako’s level and that was something he thrived on. There would never be anyone who could measure up. Taako deserved this happiness. He worked for it. He wasted his fucking life away for it.

5.7k, Taako A wonderful character study, revolving around the role food plays in Taako's life. Fairly minor but impactful characters like Sazed and Taako's aunt are utilized in a very meaningful way. So well-written and warm. Warning for brief suicidal ideation.

On the Deck of the Starblaster by @papergardener

“What the… what are you all doing? We have work to do!” It’s a justified reaction, Lucretia thinks, to finding your entire crew literally lazing about on deck not an hour into this new cycle. “This one's on me,” Taako says. “It’s a new trend I like to call: taking a fucking break.” Cycle Nintey-Five. Everyone’s maybe not doing so good and could use a little warmth.

6.5k, Lucretia & Taako Near the end of the century, Lucretia is feeling rough. Taako pulls her out of her funk and initiates a much needed rest. Fantastic characterization, of Lucretia as a whole, and the loyal, warm side of Taako. Warning for mentions of a suicide attempt and suicidal ideation.

leaving, as an injustice by @anistarrose

When Mavis is eight, she starts finding her Dad asleep on the couch in the morning. Sometimes, he’s even all the way out on their tiny patio, with his head slumped onto a pillow atop the chess table, and bags beneath his eyes. In one of their following games, he tells her about tactical retreats.

4.7k, Mavis & Merle A study of Mavis and her relationship to Merle. Incredibly insightful into criminally underrated characters. Excellent Merle characterization.

Permission by vaguenotion

She’d been doing this on and off for the last hour, as if daring the men to catch up to them. Daring them to fight her. Every time seemed like a final stand. Here is where I will meet them, her shoulders said, hiked up around her ears. Here is where I’ll make them pay for what they’ve done. But then Taako would grab her hand, and she would turn and see the bruising on his throat, the blood drying on his brow, the tear in his shirt. And she would grip his hand in hers and together they would keep running.

12.6k, Taako & Lup My favorite depiction of the twins as children, both in character and realistic. Beautifully atmospheric, with so many small details that make the setting feel so real. Warning for assault and harm to children.

Come Hell or High Water by @nillial

“Taako,” Hurley asks, “where’s your magic umbrella?” Taako looks behind him. He had tossed the Umbrastaff in the path of a neighboring vehicle, which was beginning to catch up to them. He sees them now, far in the distance, and he sees his Umbrastaff, too, lying dangerously close to its wheels. As if on cue, he watches the tires crush it to pieces. “Whoops,” he says. - Lup is trapped. And then she isn’t. --- In which Taako breaks his umbrella during the Petals to the Metal race, unknowingly freeing Lup, who is almost immediately captured by Kravitz. After becoming a member of the Raven Queen's retinue with Kravitz as her trainer, she has two missions: 1) find her family, and 2) ruin Kravitz's afterlife. A story about enemies becoming friends and lost families finding their way back to one another.

197k (currently), Lup & Kravitz Incredible characterization. I love the way Lup is written. Hilarious shenanigans, sweet friendship-building, and terribly sad sometimes, because it dives deep into the reality of Lup existing in a world that's forgotten her.

Very cold water on a very hot day by @keplercryptids

Sometimes a family is a nerd who can't swim and the crunchy-haired watersport inventor who teaches him how. Surfer lingo required.

3.1k, Barry & Taako Deep dive into the beach year. Excellently in character, well-written dialogue, and a beautiful depiction of their growing friendship.

Children of Atlas by @papergardener

They’ve survived the apocalypse and now as far as they know, they’re the only ones left. Perhaps it was inevitable that they’d consider… repopulation. Lucretia writes up a weekly schedule to try and address that. Absolutely no one is happy with this.

76k (currently), IPRE crew The premise for this one is incredibly offputting, but I'm so glad I gave it a chance. The characterization and quality of writing is absolutely wonderful. I also love the attention to detail of the realistic difficulty of just surviving. Fantastically atmospheric, this fic dives deep into the uncertainty and fear of the first cycle, when the crew are all strangers, and the love that turns them into a family. Warning for extensive discussion of sexual assault.

Emissary Davenport by DragonWrites

A series of stories where Captain Davenport is secretly an emissary of Garl Glittergold, Gnomish god of pranks. And when you're a serious-minded captain on a mission to save all of reality, having a cheerful trickster god as your unexpected patron can get a little strange...

300k, Davenport A series of four works set in an AU where Davenport is an emissary to the leader of the gnomish pantheon. My absolute favorite depiction of Davenport, ever. The first three works are explorations of Davenport as a character and the relationships between people and gods in a DnD world. The last, Lost Gods, is the best fanfiction I've ever read. I can't express how good it is. The attention to detail among myriad plot threads, the building of themes, the characterization across just about every single character in Balance, all come together to create 223k words of a genuine masterpiece.