#taught me at soccer training one day

[cunthq]

if i say i’ve watched a movie i’m probably lying

[leah-lover]

Arrogance. Alexia putellas x reader.

Let me know if you want a part 2.

You loved winning more than anything or anyone in the entire world and that was your biggest flaw. Brought up in the US soccer system, you were taught that winning is everything. You had set the precedent of joining the US women's national team as early as 17 years old which had never been done before. You were smart both academically and tactically. You graduated high school early, went to college early and proceeded to win the national championship all 4 years.

Your life always took the back seat to winning. You didn't have many friends. You didn't go out or party. You trained hard, you took care of your body, and followed a strict fitness routine. You were overall the best in your generation.

Being labeled as the best of your generation got into your head early in your life. Your strict regime made it hard for you to make friends and your cockiness and pride didn't help either. You were friendly but nobody ever dared to become your friend.

After college you moved on to the NWSL in which you won MVP , rookie of the year, and the championship in your first and second year. You had also won the world but at the same time. However, winning didn't fill the gap in your life that it once did. You didn't have to prove yourself anymore, you were renowned in the whole world as the best, everybody wanted to be you but no one wanted to be with you not long term at least. You were notorious for hooking up with people but you didn't want them to stay over for breakfast

As the years went on the international competition got harder. You were still the best but an upcoming Spaniard was raining on your parade. You were both head to head in matchies, a few tackles landing you warnings and yellow cards, and in awards. Both having very good stats you are head to head for the ballon d'or which she won that year.

You didn't talk to each other much. You can recall talking one or twice to each other . but you talked about one another a lot. The media seemed to spit you both against one another. You started hating each other in real life.

This summer your contract with Seattle fc came to its end and you chose not to renew. Offers were flying by but the one that caught your attention was Barcelona's offer.

They were willing to spend 1 million dollars on you. It was a precedent. No club had ever paid this much for a transfer. Thrie offer sticked your ego so much you accepted.

You have been playing at Barcelona for almost a season, scoring a hatrick at every game. Your relationship with your teammates didn't change. You were still space out.

The most important relationship was with your captain. Your rivalry with her was the second headline out of the b transfer. But you didn't pay her or the rivalry any attention.

Tonight you have achieved something you wanted to do for a long time. You have won the champion’s league. The locker room was celebrating the win and chanting your name. While everybody was dancing Alexia came to approached you and said “ congrats and thank u american”

“ no need capi.” you responded.

The flight back was fun, people were singing and dancing but the only thing you thought about was alexia. Her smell, her hand on your shoulder, her being thankful for you. You found yourself looking over to her from time to time. You weren't like this, you didn't day dream about people especially not the captain.

The celebration party took place in a bar. You were a few dink in when you looked over to you right yo find Alexia nursing a flute filled with champagne.

“Why aren't you dancing?” She asked.

“ I am not the type plus i am pretty sure y'all hate me.”

“And why is that “

“Don't know just a feeling.”

After that I went outside. I didn't smoke much but the nerves Alexia was giving me deserved some nicotine. As soon as I lit the cigarette I felt her hazel eyes glaring at me.

“ These things are gonna kill you, you know.”

“ I want to die young plus nobody would give a shit.”

“ I would give a shit if the most important person in my club was killing herself because she can't man up enough to talk to people. You hide behind your accomplishments. But you are just a normal girl just like any of us. You need people beside you.”

“ You are wrong about me. I am not scared of talking to people; they just would never understand me. I am a control freak. I don't like to give it up. People tend to hate that about me ” I say as I take the last puff of my cigarette. My eyes don't leave hers and the tension is through the roof.

“ I like to lose control from time to time.”

“ Capitana please don't play with me”

“ Currently I am not playing with you. Let me make you a deal. You go inside, have some fun and I will let you do what you want with the information you just heard.”

“ Why are you doing this?”

“ I don't know, I just care, I guess.

[incorrectbatfam]

If you could create and add a new DC character, what would they be like?

I'm going to tell you about David, and knowing you guys, you'll agree with me when I say he should have his own comic.

David has been my best friend literally since we were 8. He is the only constant I've had through my life. He introduced me to the drums and helped me get a motorcycle after I got my license. We are each other's platonic ride or die. If he asked me to bury a body, I'd do it no question, and I know he'd do the same for me.

That said, I clearly have the braincell in this friendship.

Don't get me wrong, he's smart in certain aspects. He's a talented musician, good athlete, taught himself to fix most plumbing issues, speaks decent Japanese, easily clicks socially, and is super empathetic. But in others, he's like a plate in a knife drawer.

Some highlights from over the years:

He ate the brown paper bag his lunch came in on a field trip

He thought hot chocolate was just cocoa powder (no milk or water) in a mug and the microwave would melt it. His sister had to call the fire department

He gave a stray dog his scarf for warmth and never saw that scarf again

He licked the dust off an XBox controller

He got a speeding ticket outside the DMV literally five minutes after getting his license

He made gender reveal cupcakes to come out to the rest of our friend group when we were 17, but he threw them into a Ziploc and they jostled around his backpack for half a day before lunch

He thought closing a browser tab would get rid of a computer virus

He tried hotboxing his own car while driving

He almost seasoned his food with pepper spray before someone stopped him

He had a tire swing on a tree in his backyard. He decided to stand on it while swinging and smacked his forehead against a branch in front of him. It was literally the most hollow thwock ever, as if confirming his lack of braincells. He then proceeded to get pissed off and punch the tree. He said it was his most gender-affirming experience

He brought me along on a family road trip and used me as a footrest in the car

He frequently writes drum tabs the way he'd write guitar ones (in short the two are very different kinds of sheet music and I'd need three hands to play them). He absolutely knows better. I think he's messing with me at this point

He mistook wasabi powder for matcha

He once got drunk at a frat party, crawled out the lawn of the house, and began eating grass like a cow

I wanted to know what kissing a dude was like out of curiosity and this was before he started physically transitioning, so to make it a more "authentic" experience, he gargled Gatorade beforehand

He tried to make his first battle jacket with washable Crayola markers

He also tried to dye his hair with his sister's watercolors

He's worn the same sweatshirt since he was 14 and I think I can count on one hand how many times I've seen him wash it (I was over at his house a lot)

He's the motherfucker that wears running shorts in the snow

He thought his area code would automatically change when we moved to a new state

He once kicked a soccer ball into an oncoming train

BONUS: when he came out to his parents, they were accepting and while he was at school, his dad mounted a fish on David's bedroom door because men I guess

So yeah, if I worked at DC, I'd insert David in the background of every comic just being his chaotic himbo self. David is beyond space and time. There could be a battle on fucking Oa and David would just be there doing a kickflip. That's who I'd choose.

[dira333]

Carpe Puella - Kuroo x Reader

For the lovely @misfit-megumi because she asked so nicely. I hope you're feeling as lovely as you are!!!

A/N: Convenience store romance, pure fluff

Coffee. You need coffee. And maybe some solid food to go with that liquid lifesaver, because your stomach lining is holding on for dear life.

The doors to the Konbini swish open. You put your phone away, your fingers already itching to get back to it. Installing your work email on your mobile device has simultaneously been your best and worst decision to date. You can get so much more done. But you can also get so much more done!

“Good evening,” an elderly woman greets you. You nod and smile at her. Right. You’re taking a break. Focus on the real world.

You pay for a can of iced coffee, crack it open, and take the first sip as you trudge through the store. Do you want some ice cream? Some cake? Or rather something savory?

You spot the Buldak Carbonara easily, drawn toward its inviting Logo. Your hand reaches out to take it, but someone else seems to have the same thought, your hand knocking into theirs.

“Oh,” you both say. You blink up and up and up. The guy’s tall, dark-haired, and extremely handsome. As well as beyond exhausted. He blinks tiredly back at you. 

“Long day at work?” You ask, because he looks like you feel. He nods. His eyes flicker to the can of coffee in your hand and his sudden envy is almost palpable. You offer him the can before you can fully think it through.

“Want a sip?” You ask, surprised when he takes it. His hand is warm against yours, the chill of the drink having seeped into your skin. 

His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows and your eyes are drawn to it, the milky skin above the creamy white of his shirt, the dark red of his tie. 

“Thank you.” He looks down at the can and his face turns almost sheepish. “I think I emptied it.”

“Buy me another one?” 

-

His name is Kuroo. He’s tall, even when he’s sitting next to you at the little self-serve bar, waiting for his own bowl of Buldak Carbonara to cool down. 

“What do you do for work?” He asks, slowly sipping from a new can of iced coffee. You're still twirling yours in your hands, suddenly too aware of the way your hair must look after hours of work or the fact that you didn’t have time to put make-up on this morning. You don’t know what got into you to talk to him like that. You’re not usually this forward, which explains your status of being a long-time single.

“I work for as an agent for the JSA,” you tell him, ready to launch into the usual explanation of what that abbreviation means. Instead, his head shoots up, his ridiculously attractive hair bobbing with the motion.

“JSA as in Japanese Soccer Association?” 

You blink. “You know them?”

Kuroo grins and it transforms his features, turning him from being dark, mysterious, and attractive into warm, boyish, and even more attractive. Damn your heart that stutters to a halt.

“I work for the JVA.”

You can’t help but laugh. “You’re kidding.”

“Never.” He draws a cross over his heart to emphasize before he leans in. “How did you get into Soccer?”

“My dad taught me when I was younger. He trained our Middle School team. You?”

His smile turns softer. You can almost feel how it must be for him, diving into the past.

“My dad played with me when I was a kid. And when we moved in with my grandparents, it helped me form a friendship that lasts to this day. I know it’s hard to believe but I was rather shy as a kid.”

You feel your own lips tugging upward. It’s hard to stay in a bad mood around him, it seems.

“Does Yahito-san still work for you?” You ask, dragging your chopsticks through the thickened sauce. 

“No, she left a few months ago. Maternity leave.” He digs his own chopsticks in.

“Oh? How lovely!” 

-

“This was nice,” Kuroo says, the doors of the Konbini closing behind you.

“It was.”

His number is saved in your phone and vice versa.

Inside, this had felt like something, like a moment meant to be remembered. Just like before a goal, the air had visibly shifted. But there had been no kiss, no hug, nothing but a promise to try and keep in touch.

And now, outside on the streets, your life is pulling you in again. Your phone is vibrating in your pocket. Pretty sure it’s Ego, the new Blue Lock Project is coming along nicely, almost all 300 female Strikers have been assembled. Tomorrow, Kuroo will probably be nothing but a fond memory. Someone who could have been more, but never will be.

That thought drops heavy into your stomach. You stretch out your arm and offer him your hand to shake. You won’t be able to handle a hug now, not when you know that nothing is going to come out of this anyway.

“Until we meet again,” you tell him and make sure to smile. His own smile falters but he shakes your hand, the pressure firm and reassuring.

Not even five minutes later you’re walking down the street, eyes on the sidewalk as if you’re trying not to trip. Instead, you’re forcing yourself not to turn back around.

Your phone vibrates again and you pull it out, hoping for once that it’s a call from Ego or Anri, something to keep your mind occupied.

Instead, it’s Kuroo who’s calling.

You pick up and turn around, but the sidewalk is rather crowded and you can’t make him out anywhere.

“Did you forget something?”

“Yeah.” His voice is a little breathless. “Do you want to go see a movie?”

“N-Now?” You chide yourself right away. He probably thought about sometime next week.

“Yeah.” You can hear the grin in his voice, can picture it perfectly in your mind’s eye. “Don’t move, I can already see you.” 

And just like that, he slips out from between two strangers, dark hair crowning his proud grin and the twinkle in his eyes.

“Hi!” He breathes, phone still pressed to his ear. “Do you know the term ‘Carpe Diem’?”

“Not on the top of my head, no.”

“It means seize the day. And I suppose I’m doing just that. Or, more correctly, I’m doing Carpe Puella.”

“And that would be?” You can feel your heart bubbling in your throat. This isn’t what you expected, not something you could ever dream of happening. But he’s here and he’s grinning from one ear to the other, fondness warming his dark eyes. 

“To seize the girl.” 

My Kofi if you want to tip me

[slowcatsworld]

Julian Loki acts like an older sibling. PART 1

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Small disclaimer, as far as I’m aware his family hasn’t been mentioned in canon in the manga or the egoist bible; therefore I’m basing this off of his interactions with other characters in the manga. Also bear with me, I wrote a lot of words.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Julian Loki’s introduction: good sportsmanship

Julian Loki already acts differently than the other World 5 players in their introduction in chapter 90, both physically and personality wise. Julian is the only player that is not an adult since he’s 17, and the only one that practiced good sportsmanship throughout the whole ‘World 5 game.’

This is seen when he tells Leonardo Luna to not disrespect Japanese soccer to the Blue Lock team (when Luna states, “Gambling your lives on a wish that will never come true..Japanese people really are the world’s top masochists!” and with his handshake/conversation with Isagi before the match started.

Despite being the youngest on his team, Julian shows the most maturity and respect towards his opponents (which is something taught to young players of every sport for them to carry this sportsmanship into the rest of their career) even though some of his teammates are a whole decade older than him and have been in the world of soccer longer.

(I love Isagi’s little profiles he makes of different characters, and how he notices Loki’s polite manners and confidence but I’ll get back to that later maybe hehe)

Julian Loki- Master Striker in the NEL: Maturity & Adaptability/Flexibility

Julian Loki was announced as the Master Striker for France’s team PXG in the Neo Egoist League, which is insane when you take into account he’s coaching players around the same age as him. (Love me a mature boy) In chapter 244/246 I think the reader is able to understand a lot about Julian’s flexibility as a coach even though it wasn’t that much explicitly stated.

PXG is beginning a match with Barca, and they start with Rin as their main attacker with Shidou off the field. Later we see Rin get swapped for Shidou, so the both of them get their turns as the star and to score goals. This makes the most sense since we, as a reader, know that Rin and Shidou so far have had no chemistry at all and the two of them do not work well together at all.

However, Julian didn’t know that prior to them joining PXG. He had to figure out a solution to this in order for PXG to perform well on the field during matches. The games are set in a round robin format with two games every 10 days (if I’m not mistaken) and PXG has played either 3 or 4 times. Plus, these aren’t 90 minute games, they’re just to 3 points. These games are relatively short, probably less than 30 minutes long (idk, I quit soccer a long time ago.) This means aside from scrimmages and training practice, Julian had a rather small amount of time to develop a play style that would suit both of these very different strikers that refuse to work together.

Julian Loki found something that worked too. Whether he experimented by placing one of the two (Shidou/Rin) in for the whole game or talked with them both about what to do, Julian made a strategy that everyone benefited from. (GUYS! Ik he stated in chap. 246 that he experimented with their play styles to create two factions on the PXG line up, but pick up what I’m putting down yk?? Adversity!)

This shows how adaptive Loki is able to be in unfavorable circumstances and create opportunities from it. Julian has been trying to create an environment that encourages Charles to grow as a player. Because of Julian’s thought process of using both Rin and Shidou at different times to help Charles, we’ve witnessed how adaptable he can be.

[bluelocksource]

Kurona Ranze’s trivia

☆ Character color: Pink.

☆ Birthday: 6th September.

☆ Current age: 16 (1st year high schooler).

☆ Zodiac: Virgo.

☆ Birthplace: Hokkaido.

☆ Family structure: Father. Mother. Himself.

☆ Current height: 168 cm.

☆ Foot size: 26.5 cm.

☆ Dominant foot: Right foot.

☆ Vision acuity: 1.2

☆ Blood type: O.

☆ Grip strength: 38 kg.

☆ Motto: "Take care of your own mood."

☆ Starts playing football: At age 4.

☆ Team before joining BLUE LOCK: Kirikizan High School Soccer Club.

切刻斬 (kirikizan) can mean 'cutting slash' or 'precise cut'.

☆ Hobby: Playing with his braid. "Since childhood, I’ve had the habit of touching my bangs when I’m daydreaming, watching TV, or concentrating. When my parents jokingly taught me how to braid, I’ve had braided hair ever since. I braid and unbraid it to get through boring classes."

☆ Favorite food: Twist bread. "It’s cute because it looks like a braid. Any flavor is fine."

☆ Food he dislike: Iga’s hard-baked rice crackers. "I chipped a tooth as a child. They’re hard. Hard.”

Iga is a city in Mie Prefecture.

☆ What goes best with rice: "I prefer bread, so I don’t know much about it."

☆ Favorite animal: Great white shark. "I feel a connection because of its jagged teeth. Jaws. Jaws."

☆ Favorite season: Spring. "It makes me want to run. RUN. RUN."

☆ Favorite football player: Lamine Yamal.

☆ Favorite song: "Onaji Yoru" by sancrib.

☆ Favorite manga: Gachiakuta.

☆ Favorite movie: Guardians of the Galaxy.

☆ Mushroom shoots vs Bamboo shoots: Bamboo shoots. "I like the crispy biscuit-like texture. Bamboo shoots sprouting up."

☆ What makes him happy: Subtle affection. "I like people who always look out for me."

☆ What makes him upset: Being yelled at. "They should just talk to me before getting angry. Anger management is important."

☆ What he thinks his strength is: "I can build relationships with others while maintaining a moderate distance. Also, I’m fast on my feet."

☆ What he thinks his weakness is:  "I tend to be quite casual about things I’m not interested in. Casual."

☆ What made him cry recently: “When my pet hedgehog passed away.”

☆ Favorite/best subject: "None in particular. None. I dislike studying."

☆ Weak/least favorite subject: "All of them. That’s why I hate studying! Don’t ask! Don’t ask!"

☆ Ideal type: Someone who maintains a moderate distance but stays close.

☆ Number of chocolates received from previous Valentine: 4.

☆ At what age he experiences first love: 8 years old.

☆ The first time he got confessed to: “A classmate told me they liked me, but it was in a mascot-like way. I was disappointed. I was really down.”

☆ Fixation: Hairstyles. "A person’s hairstyle reflects their personality."

☆ Average sleeping time: 7.5 hours.

☆ How he spend his holiday: “Training to improve my running speed. Taking care of my hedgehog (the second one). Then just relaxing casually. Relaxing.”

☆ When taking a bath, which part he washes first: His hair. "I undo my braid and carefully treat it."

☆ What he usually buy from the convenience store: "Hair ties. Hair ties."

☆ What will he do if he received 100 million yen: "I’d be shocked. Shocked."

☆ At what age he stops receiving presents from Santa: At 11 years old.

☆ What was his last wish from Santa: "Socks, for soccer. It was funny to find socks inside Santa’s stocking."

☆ What will he do during his last day on Earth: "Spend a relaxing time with my parents and my pet hedgehog (the second one)."

☆ Favorite historical figure: John Lennon.

☆ If he hadn’t encountered soccer, what will he be doing: “I might have aimed to become a pet groomer.”

☆ If he could only take one thing to a deserted island, what would it be: "I’d take my pet hedgehog (the second one) with me. Oh, the hedgehog's name is Pocari."

☆ If he had a time machine, would he go to the past or the future: The future. “I want to go really far into the future and make friends with future people.”

note: i want to apologize in advance for any mistake made in the translation!

source: Egoist Bible 2.

[rainbowmothed]

︵︵ MISC. HAZBIN HOTEL HEADCANONS

╰ ⋯ ➢ just some random hcs i thought of off the top of my head!! ♡ as always, reblogs and likes appreciated! includes both main cast and heaven hcs. :3

𝜚 ₎ MAIN CAST HCS

Vaggie says stuff like “rad,” “dude,” etcetera unironically and definitely gets made fun of for it. Mostly by Cherri and Angel– Pentious says it is ‘hashtag trending awesome sauce.’

Vaggie sets 6 alarms in the morning, all with custom minute intervals between the snooze alarms to make SURE she doesn't sleep through it. Charlie doesn't mind, though, mainly because she wakes up at four in the morning to work on projects anyway.

Charlie has made playlists for everyone in the hotel on hell's equivalent of spotify; Vaggie's is the most well thought out, but they all describe them very well. Alastor never listens to it due to his dislike for modern technology/apps, but he appreciates it– or at least acts like he does– nonetheless.

Charlie definitely rides on Alastor's shoulders like a little kid bro IDC WHAT U SAY

Vaggie has cried ONCE in front of the rest of the hotel after being genuinely dogged on repeatedly on one of the worst days of her life, and they all just stared at her in shock. They hate on her so much because it never impacts her– or so they think so, because Vaggie always shrugs it off. They refuse to talk about it.

Vaggie's spice tolerance is unmatched.

Each night, Charlie visits Pentious’ memorial and wraps a weighted blanket around it, saying that maybe it'd remind him of the Egg Bois and the way they snuggled around him in the afterlife.

Vaggie is a huge Hunger Games fan. 90% of her personality derives from Katniss Everdeen.

Adding onto the last one, if Charlie and Vaggie were to have a child, I feel like it'd have the personality of Lucy Gray Baird.

Niffty definitely writes strange fanfiction. Also has BL as her header on the Hell's equivalent of Twitter. She's a little twisted, but we love her.

Cherri is an absolute menace. That is the best word to describe her.

Angel and Cherri did the “screaming in public restrooms” prank once.

Everyone assumed Charlie was mid-20s until she dropped the bomb that she's over 200 years old. They were all flabbergasted (minus Vaggie, who already knew. Angel also called her a “gilf lover.”)

Angel asked Vaggie about her body count once to tick her off, and she answered “around 1,000 or so, roughly estimated,” thinking he meant kill count. Charlie was shook.

Vaggie is a Paramore, Flyleaf, Evanescence, etcetera fan. Proud listener to 2000s emo girl music.

Charlie's guilty pleasure is punk/metal/rock music. She says she only listens to “Taylor Swift and musicals,” but she has a hidden playlist with KORN, PTV, and all of those bands on it.

Angel wakes Husk up by blasting Ayesha Erotica songs into his ear occasionally since Husk is a heavy sleeper and refuses to get up sometimes.

Pentious calls himself a “semi-proud father of the Egg Bois.”

Charlie ran a hate page about Katie Killjoy. She has since moved on from it... probably.

𝜚 ₎ HEAVEN HCS

Vaggie definitely played about 100 sports back in Heaven. Fencing, soccer, and, bare with me here, she definitely did ballet. She refuses to admit so, however.

The exorcists actually aren't brought into the world as adults. Instead, they're raised by volunteer parents of Heaven their entire lives, starting fighting training at age 6 or so. They claim that “children's brains are easier to mold.” Basically, they're taught to be murder weapons from a very, very young age. It's also instinctive, but it's the training that truly brings it out.

Each exterminator is based on a different bird breed, but the most common are eagles, falcons, hawks, and generally predatory avians.

The Exterminators are also very fast flyers, and they establish the quickest flyers through racing. Vaggie was formerly the fastest until she was cast down to Hell. Now, the fastest is Lute.

Adam also referees these races, and instead of a gun or whistle to start them off, he uses his guitar.

[euphietea]

Respite.

Shoei Baroi. fluff. cw. implied mental health struggles. alcohol use.

You rest your cheek on the broad muscle of his shoulder, watching the lights pass by as you leave the city. They streak your vision like meteorites burning in orbit. Barou was a responsible driver, considerate of the weight you add to his cruiser. The tires of the bike surf along a gentle current rather than navigate rubble-studded streets like most riders do.

You shift in the leather prison that is his old riding jacket. It is sweltering outside and the humid summer only just began to cool with the transition into twilight. He still insisted on wearing leather regardless, Mr. Safety as always. He looks so good in riding gear anyway, so you don’t complain. He even insists you wear the leather prison hand-me-down despite your protests.

“Don’t be a fucking moron,” he growled, throwing the jacket into your arms moments before leaving his apartment. A man of action more than words, but you could read him clearly when he spoke: ‘please be safe.’

You stroke the cherry-wine leather along his obliques, adoring the smooth suede texture over the curve of his muscle. If something were to happen – if the bike ever fishtailed out of control – he would never forgive himself if he didn’t dress you up in protective gear. He cared more than you could ever hope for you.

When you met him, you really did think he was a delinquent or some gangster. You asked to kick a soccer ball around and he asked if you were ‘fucking stupid’. You weren’t. You just needed a physical outlet when your skin crawled from the clutter of your apartment. Some how, he obliged and taught you some tactics. Barou never asked about you and you never really asked about him. Every now and again you’d catch each other and decide to kick a ball around.

At first, he really seemed like someone who only gave a shit about himself. Soccer seemed to be the only thing he genuinely cared about or talked about. You asked him what he did for a living one day and that’s when you learned he worked at a bar. It was a little bar that salary men and women frequented. Occasionally, college students would go there and get plastered.

You’d visit him when he worked, and he’d walk you home when you were too drunk to go alone. He never touched you more than he had to in those times – just enough to keep you steady. But like a rat being trained to push a lever, his warm hands were a treat drawing you back each night. You learned that when he wasn’t obsessing over a straight shot, he was a great listener to his customers. You’d see him give water, offer bags of chips, and just quietly listen as the man in a pinstripe suit cried about his lost marriage.

You even unloaded some life woes onto him: You talked about how it was hard to function some days. Work was a lot to handle when you could barely manage to garner energy for the laundry. The world seemed foggy, and you didn’t have a compass. The city was loud and overstimulating. The heat was sticky and drained you of whatever life force you had. Going to the bar and seeing him was pretty much what kept you showering. Barou was appalled by the fact that you would drink nothing but protein shakes and vitamins to keep up sometimes, so he’d just give you food off the menu for free. You even cried about your ex, who apparently hadn’t even thought you were in a relationship!

When all this began, you couldn’t imagine that one day he’d help you clean your grubby apartment (while complaining and lecturing you, of course). He’d help you with laundry and dishes. He’d help you cook and teach you a few cheap recipes that you could microwave. Because he worked out, he’d drop off some vitamins for you when he bought supplements for himself.

Eventually, you two were just... together. Peacefully. Coexisting.

The bike comes to a gentle stop. Barou kicks the bike stand out and swings off. He pulls his helmet off, espresso locks swept around his shoulders. Your gaze softens on him, “You’re so pretty.”

“Thanks,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his head. He extends his hand to you, helping you off, “Now close your eyes.”

“Awe, I thought you didn’t like surprises,” you jest with a fake puff of your cheek.

He squishes the air out of your cheeks with just one hand, thumb one the right cheek and the rest on the left, “But you do. So close your eyes, or you’ll spoil it for yourself.”

“Alright, alright. Feisty tonight!” With a laugh, you close your eyes. The familiar hold of his fingers around your shoulders melts you to your core. You’re guided away from the side of the road and down a little hill, “Shoei, where are we—”

“Quit yapping,” he barked, “It’s not far. Watch your step, there’s a branch.”

Soon enough, you both stopped. The city sounds were drowned out by the songs of cicadas. With his permission, you open your eyes.

The soft surface of water spread out across the expanse before you. The reflection of the stars above, seen only miles out from the city, came to greet the earth by the grace of the lake. Surrounded by trees and darkness, the only light was the moon and the colony of fireflies searching for their mates.

You open your mouth, then close it, squeezing your lips together as you bite back the lump in your throat. Everything had been so overwhelming lately. The world, work, keeping up with your own needs. Barou helped you so much, but even with his help, you could fall behind on yourself. But here, it felt still. It was serene. The air was cool now that night overtook the sky and the breeze picked up the lake’s chill.

“Gimme,” Barou’s voice snapped you out of your mind.

“Huh?”

“The jacket. Give it to me,” His fingers gestured to hand the leather demon suit over, “You don’t like wearing it, anyway.”

“I—” You rub your eyes free of the moisture piling at the lashes, “Yeah. It feels gross, and I’m sweaty.”

“Then let’s get it off of you,” Barou tugs the zipper down steadily and peels it from your arms. He folds it neatly and places it on top of the bike seat. You feel his eyes roam your form, dressed in a tank top and shorts. The sweat along the surface of your décolleté radiant with scattered light. He drank you like a finely crafted wine, admiring every little bit that you offered him.

As always, he seldom said how he felt, but you could always tell by the softness of his eyes and the ease at which he kissed you that you were a treasure he would never let go of. You were his gem that he polishes each day for the joy of seeing it shine. When he wipes away your grateful tears with a loose grin, you know for certain that he didn’t just care about soccer.

[randomperson99sworld]

Ruffled Feathers 🪶 ~Prologue~

Summary: Julia Morgan, Bobby’s niece, has always been a royal thorn in Dean Winchesters ass since the day they met 1 year ago at Bobby's memorial. She wants to be a hunter, he thinks she's a dumb kid playing dress up. Will she always be seen as an unwanted load in Dean's eyes or will he see something more?

Pairing: Dean x OC

Warnings: Age gap, language, sexual themes (used lightly), Physical Abuse (Not by Dean).

Word Count: 414

A/N: This is my first story ever so please go easy on me. Also, this story is cross posted on Wattpad, I made a last decision to share it on here too. Happy reading! ♥️

Julia Morgan's childhood was damaged by neglect and abuse. Her mother was indifferent and emotionally unavailable, while her father resorted to physical punishment to "discipline" her. Each failure, no matter how minor—be it a C on a report card, not making the soccer team, or failing a driver's test—was met with physical punishment. This created a deeply stressful and fearful environment for Julia, one where she learned early on to navigate a world that seemed set against her and pushing her to grow up faster than her peers. Leading her longing for constant struggle for acceptance and survival.

When her family moved to Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Julia sought refuge at her uncle  Bobby's house as often as possible. Bobby Singer, her mothers brother in-law through his wife, became a father figure to her. Unlike her parents, Bobby offered her kindness, support, and practical knowledge. He taught her how to fight and repair cars, skills that provided not only a sense of purpose but also a path to escape the toxic environment at home. Julia spent as much time as possible with Bobby, cherishing his mentorship and the stability he offered.

After graduating high school, Julia decided to pursue a career in psychology, a field that resonated with her due to the years of emotional and physical abuse she had endured. The idea of understanding the mind, perhaps even her own, and helping others who had suffered like she had, seemed like a way to make sense of her past. However, the demands of college, coupled with the unresolved trauma from her childhood, began to weigh heavily on her.

The breaking point came when her Uncle Bobby died. His death left a void that was too much for Julia to bear, and she dropped out of college. A year later, feeling lost but wanting to honor Bobby's memory, Julia organized a memorial for him. It was during this event that she first met Sam and Dean Winchester. While Sam greeted her warmly, Dean's icy demeanor made it clear that he didn't like her from the start.

Despite Dean's coldness, Sam convinced him to help Julia on a few hunts. Over time, Julia found herself drawn into their world. Wanting to improve her skills and stay connected to the only people who understood her grief for Bobby, she moved to Kansas. Renting a small home nearby, Julia made it her mission to train alongside the Winchesters, determined to become a better hunter.

[holygrailimagines]

Football

Summary: Reader is more on the basketball side of things

Basketball was literally your second religion. Growing up Lithuanian, you spent so much time playing basketball with your family. It was essential to your culture because it was a way to keep everyone connected. You don’t like being cocky, but you were amazing at it. It was rare that a family gathering didn’t involve basketball. Dating Diego, you learned that football was the exact same way for Mexicans. I mean, every time you gathered with his family, they would play football and they were really good too. Even his young cousins were better than you. You didn’t want to admit it, but it made you feel a little embarrassed. His family would lightly tease you and you knew they meant no harm but sometimes you wished it was basketball instead of football. 

It was so sunny and beautiful outside, a perfect day to do something with your boyfriend. You were both seated at the kitchen table, enjoying breakfast together, when the idea popped into your head. 

“You know what we should do later,” you ask, he turned his full attention to you, “you should teach me how to play football.” You say, taking a sip from your orange juice. He smiled at you, his eyes absorbing every perfect feature on your face. 

“I thought you knew how to play football.” He said, furrowing his brows. You shrugged your shoulders, 

“I mean I know the principles, but I don’t really know how to play.” You said watching him as he thought about your request. He smiled at you and nodded his head. 

“Okay!” He said taking one final bite from his toast, rubbing his fingers clean from the crumbs, “get ready.” He said with a mouthful of food. 

“Wait now?” You asked, surprised by his sudden initiative. He nodded his head, taking his and your plate and placing them in the sink. He swallowed his food before speaking this time, 

“Of course! Look, it’s perfect outside!” he said, pointing out the window. You smiled, and eagerly agreed. You changed into your best athletic wear as Diego loaded up the car with all the right football equipment. 

When you arrived at the football field, Diego began setting up cones and all other kinds of stuff. You honestly had no idea so much went into learning football, but you loved a good challenge. 

“Ok!” Diego said, clapping his hands together. “You ready?” You nodded excitedly as the training began. Diego taught you how to have good footwork using the cones he set up. He even gave you some great tips on how to properly kick. Even though this training session was not very serious, he would always sneak in moments where he would “adjust” your form. But you didn’t mind, Diego was just being his usual flirty self. You honestly felt like your soccer skills improved immensely. Diego was so proud of you. When it was over, Diego littered your face with butterfly kisses. You giggled, pulling away. 

“Eww, gross. I’m so sweaty.” You say. Diego playfully rolls his eyes and goes in for a kiss on your lips. 

“No, you’re beautiful.” He said.

[bitchlessbiped]

This was years ago, a park bench I still remember you by.

As the sun fell and the wind picked up, you offered me your hoodie. I laughed because it wouldn't fit me. I laughed because I wanted you to be warm.

We sat there like that. Stared into the middle distance for a while. Our town. You lived right around the corner for a few years. On your own since you were 12. I didn't know you then.

"I really would have liked the chance to live longer", you said.

I bit firmly on my lip to not cry. You chose to ignore my welling eyes and tremulous voice as I looked back at you to reply "..Yeah".

I feel around in my pocket aimlessly, until the sharp edge and metallic snap of the candy bar remind me that I brought it for you. It was always for you. All of it. If you'd have asked me to trade lives, I wouldn't have hesitated. Even now. But you were never the type to ask for a hand, or for anything. I never knew quite how to tell you how much I loved you. I wish I did. Really. You smiled sincerely and earnestly, like a parent receiving a dandelion.

"I have to watch my blood sugar levels", you told me, now with a half smile.

"Oh. Right, sorry."

You take a bite and grin.

I wish I'd said something here. Anything. I wish I remarked how divinely brilliant your eyes were to me. How your hair flowed like amber clouds of a breezy sunset. I wish I'd lied and said that I wasn't afraid of my life anymore, so that you wouldn't have to worry.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know", I muttered.

"It's alright, I'm sure a little won't hurt"

You asked me what I was in school for. I told you I might as well switch to engineering by the end of the year, though I didnt know if I could really make it. You told me that I was obviously smart enough.

At that moment, I remembered that in high school I considered you an older sister to me. You used to help me with my homework. Gave me study tips. You taught me to love words and to engage with the world in verse. On lunch breaks, when I used to eat alone at the edge of the woods, I could see you from the 2nd floor library window. You must have thought me such a curious person even then. I often stood on the tree stump and looked up at you, like the Northern Star.

You opened up the conversation again. "You know, things sometimes turn out in ways you wouldn't expect. Maybe one day you'll be an engineer in... something, and you'll have a big old barbecue. Your friends will be there, your kids will be there, and I'll be there too! I'll be the aunty who gives them so much candy their teeth will start to rot, and you'll have to shoo me away like a fly."

We shared an innocent laugh, the lump in the back of my throat having not budged an inch.

"I would let you keep giving them candy, you know. Baby teeth doesn't matter."

"I changed my mind. You'd be a horrible parent!" You observed my surprised expression with your eyebrows scrunched in mischief. We broke out in laughter again.

At this point I could feel the tears welling up and I wasn't sure what kind.

You coughed into a napkin. The corner of it grew red. Reaching into your bag, you pulled out a tray of pills I'd never seen before and took seven. I looked away.

Now it was dark. You asked me if I needed to call my parents. I told you that I trained them not to care.

We stared again into the middle distance, the empty soccer field, and I began to shiver.

"Alright, it's time for you to go home." You pulled out your phone and started looking for bus routes for me. We talked leisurely all the way to the stop. The bus was coming. Its high beams making us cover our faces momentarily. Around 10 seconds until doors open.

"It's been so long. I-. Do you do hugs?"

"Yeah, come on."

You leaned towards me and held me. I hugged you back. A little taken aback. I'd grown. By now the top of your head rested into the nook of my chin.

Bye.

Bye.

I scanned my card and stepped into the bus. The blue light inside irritating my retinas. I see you from inside. Still on the sidewalk.

I wave at you.

You wave at me.

That was the last time I saw you. It will likely forever be the last time I saw you. I love you. I still try to live fearlessly as you do, or as you did. I don't know.

Bye.

[robertlaskarzewski]

Eighteenth Week

On Sunday, I left my home in Cergy and headed to Valence where I would stay for a couple of days before continuing South to Toulon. In the morning, I quickly packed away the rest of my things in my storage unit and headed to the Gare de Lyon to take my train to Valence. My train to Valence went smoothly and the weather was much warmer than I had in Cergy, also, the city is in the shadow of a decent nountain where the ruins of an old chateau are located. For dinner, I had trouble finding any place that was open because it was the weekend of May 1°, a French national holiday. Luckily, I was able to find an open pizza place where I had an amazing pizza made by an older Italian couple. Monday, I decided to go up and see the chateau ruins (Chateau de Crussol). In total it took me over an hour and a half to walk from the center of Valence to the top of the mountain. The mountain itself wasn't extremely elevated but it was a decent hike, nonetheless. There were hardly any other non-French tourists in the area. Tuesday, I left valence and took my train South to Toulon (I had one connection in Marseille on the way there). I was picked up by my coworkers for my volunteering program, the director, and a program coordinator. My first day, I had to help with tutoring kids who had come to the Le Rocher site for after-school help with homework. Although their homework wasn't difficult for me (because they were all in elementary school), it was difficult for me to explain things in a way that they would understand well. Wednesday, we started the morning by doing a morning activity with the kids with some games and gardening. We got the kids to help clean up the yard area and encouraged them to help plant some seeds in some planter boxes. In the afternoon we went into the neighborhood to play soccer with some of the kids and talk with some of their parents. Thursday, I started the morning by doing a neighborhood walk and visits with some of the people from Le Rocher. This involves walking around the neighborhood and knocking on some doors and just asking people how they're doing generally, seeing if everything's okay and what's on their mind. Friday, we did more neighborhood walks and talks with the locals and ended the day with tutoring with the kids. Every day I spend with the kids, I grow in confidence in my ability to speak with them and help them accomplish their goals (finishing their homework) Saturday, we set up a couple of tables between where many of the locals go from the bakery and their homes. This way, we could offer them coffee/tea and biscuits and talk to them about anything that was on their mind, and just catch up with them in general. I find these activities very challenging because my French is not good enough to understand many of the people speaking. This is made twice as difficult as many of the habitants are of foreign descent meaning they don't speak "academic French" which is what is generally taught in the US.

[cowherderess]

Top 5 Lorelai Gilmore quips, top 5 cities you’ve visited!

it was so hard to pick just five and i'm sure i've left out some great ones:

"I'm fine. I'm just being dramatic, it's what I do."

"I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I'm totally flexible."

Luke says, "I am in so far over my head that I can't see my own hat!" "Well, try turning it around."

Christopher asks, "May I have this dance?" "I don't know, do you have a trust fund?" [to Rory] "Always make sure."

Babette asks, "Is there a problem?" "Nothing Shakespeare couldn't turn into a really good play."

cities!

Edinburgh -- I've read so much about Scottish history and going to the place (Stirling and Inverness also fit into this category) where it happened was just kind of overwhelming, in a positive way. Like Robert Burns lived here, Mary Queen of Scots was held prisoner here, John Knox lived here, and these streets probably looked very much the same when they saw them! Also, the main train station is named after a book! (Waverley by Walter Scott)

Venice -- there was this audiobook that we used to listen to when I was little, a story about a girl who lived in the Pietà orphanage when Vivaldi taught there. Even now I can still hear snippets of it in my head, we listened to it so much. It was many years later that I got to go but I still thought of it as Caterina's city and I loved being able to put real visuals to the audio.

Jerusalem -- such a fascinating mosaic of like... genuinely ancient, new reconstructed to look ancient for political reasons, some neighborhoods glaringly new and privileged vs others distinctly less so. Of political tension (we arrived on Jerusalem Day) but also ordinary life going on despite it (little kids playing soccer on an Old City street in front of a medieval church).

Carcassonne, France -- the setting of some of the books (the Labyrinth trilogy by Kate Mosse) that have properly engrossed me in adulthood the way I used to read when I was a kid. It was quite touristy but worth it even so. And the Basilica Saint-Nazaire is one of my favorite churches I've been to, has such beautiful stained glass. And I saw the lower town sometimes referred to as the "New Town" which was delightful because it was founded in the 13th century.

Rome -- I studied abroad in Italy in 11th grade, in a little city an hour's train ride north of Rome. We were allowed to take day trips to Rome by ourselves, and while my friends and I back home had of course been relatively independent of parents for a while, being responsible for myself in a foreign city, in a language I was only just learning, was so exciting and a new kind of milestone.

[oliver142]

Fuck it, I'ma do it, questions aren't that bad for most of them anyways, so I don't see the harm

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

It's complicated

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

My fiance

03: Do you regret anything?

A lot of shit

04: Are you insecure?

Definitely

05: What is your relationship status?

Engaged

06: How do you want to die?

In my sleep so I don't have to be scared

07: What did you last eat?

Toast and eggs

08: Played any sports?

Soccer

09: Do you bite your nails?

Yeah

10: When was your last physical fight?

About 3 years or so ago

11: Do you like someone?

Yeah, my fiancé

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

No but close it it, like 40 hours ish

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Yeah

14: Do you miss someone?

Yeah, a few people

15: Have any pets?

2 cats

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

Board, anxious, and sad

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Not a public one

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Kinda, depends on the spider

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Yeah, but not that far back

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

My fiance s bedroom

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Probably smoke some bowls and play video games and chores

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

No kids for now

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Just the 2 basic lobes

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

Anything if I'm taught right

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

A good couple people and who some people used to be

26: What are you craving right now?

Touch

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Probably, yeah

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

Yeah

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Yeah

30: What’s irritating you right now?

My hair, it's not long enough to go into a pony tail let alone a braid, but it's long enough to be in my eyes all the time

31: Does somebody love you?

Course

32: What is your favourite color?

Black and dark blue and dark purple

33: Do you have trust issues?

Definitely

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

I was at work and occasionally we have training and my manager was there while I was closing (no one else is ever on a closing shift but me unless I'm training irl) and my manager told me I had some training I had to do but instead of it being on the computer it was a task and I had to avoid COD soldiers (the three of them being könig, chuy, and another one I didn't recognize) but I had to collect ingredients to bake cookies without being caught by them while rummaging and climbing through storage shelves, eventually I push a heavy box over and knock könig out with it and after that I kinda don't remember what happens until Im at my house and somehow my fixed female cat hives birth to a singular kitten and the "father" was my other fixed female cat but the kitten was born and was already like 3 months old, idk it was weird

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My fiance

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Little bit yeah

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Forget, but that's just because I can't help it

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

No

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

14/15 ish

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

No

51: Favourite food?

A southern breakfast

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Yeah

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Read fan fiction

54: Is cheating ever okay?

Depends but 99% of the time, no

55: Are you mean?

I've been told I can be

56: How many people have you fist fought?

Like 3

57: Do you believe in true love?

Yeah

58: Favourite weather?

A sunny fall day

59: Do you like the snow?

Yeah

60: Do you wanna get married?

Yeah, I'm going to be, but not in the traditional sense, mostly for legal stuff, but we want our own kind of ceremony

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Yeah

62: What makes you happy?

My fiance, friends, cats, fan fiction, video games, the woods

63: Would you change your name?

I'm going to legally when I get married

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Not emotionally, but getting the chance to again, yea

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Politely decline, and offer to still be friends, nothing changing

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Not at the moment, but I would love to have another best friend

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

My coworker

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My fiancé

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

Yeah

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

Course

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[pinkskies4]

8/11/2024

This is the art piece that took me 4 and a 1/2 days to finish, i did it in a rush we had 3 months but I procrastinate a lot and have trouble finishing work. The only reason I finished this was because our art class was supposed to present our work to children,parents of the children and artist. Showcasing what our art teacher taught us, and I didn't want to embarrass him, he's actually a really good teacher and he listens to our gossip. This was last year I'm no longer in art because I suck at time management I do however go to art after school whenever I don't have Soccer training. You might be wondering why, well first most of my grademates(The students in my school which are in the same grade as me which are 12 people we're a small school) go there often just to study even though most of us, aren't in his class anymore. He also doesn't have a life and that's not me being rude, that's what he says so he stays back until 5 well it's actually 6 because he never actually goes at 5, it's mostly our fault but it's his fault sometimes. Except during the day our school has faculty meeting,unlike most of my grademates I don't really care because I have soccer training that day, our preseason started when school started because our captain wants to win the championship. That being said I'm writing this at the library because the art teacher has a wedding to attend supposedly, I heard from a friend, but he's usually sarcastic and makes up white lies so I'll probably ask the art teacher myself. Speaking of teachers and classes, my ap lit class is currently looking at sonnets(English,Shakespearean,Petrarchan etc.) and literary analysis lenses (New criticism,New historicism,formalism,biographical approach etc.), for practice my Ap lit teacher told us to write a sonnet, and said that it could be any kind of sonnet me being me, the overachiever, I wrote my sonnet in both english and Petrarchan rhyme scheme and style, I did use a poem I wrote before that was written in prose poem form.

English Sonnet

I never thought my heart would know defeat,

Nor dreamed I’d lose you through confessed despair.

Each memory replays in slow repeat,

A foolish love I nursed on empty air.

What if I’d not misread your silent state,

Mistaking quiet as a love unvoiced?

Your emptiness became my dreams’ cruel fate,

For in your quiet heart, I held no choice.

What if I’d not drawn futures bold and bright,

With laughter, stolen moments as the theme?

Or stayed up through the dark of countless nights,

To find in words a hollow, futile gleam?

What if I’d seen your coldness as it was,

And spared my heart from love’s unkind applause?

Petrarchan Sonnet

I never dreamed my heart would bear such loss,

Nor thought that love could end with silent pain,

Where unreturned affection leaves a stain,

And bonds are severed in that final toss.

I trace our moments, bearing now the cross

Of memories—each one, a tender chain

That held my hopes, now withered, faint, and slain,

Where once I saw acceptance, peace’s gloss.

What if I’d seen the silence as a shroud,

Not quiet trust, but void where dreams decay?

Or sensed your cold indifference that day,

The fragile hopes I’d painted, disallowed?

If nights were spared of meaning I’d imbued,

My heart would rest, no echoes left to rue.

Speaking of sonnets does anyone if anyone does end up seeing this, know how to scan a poem for meter, to notice where the stressed and unstressed syllables fall in a line of poetry.  My Ap lit teacher said that even though AP lit has stopped giving those type of questions often there's usually still one or two so it'll be good to be prepared. Speaking of the Ap lit test, I'm worried about the frqs my teacher says I need to rely more on the text instead of relating it to the other knowledge I know, I've been practicing it and I guess I am getting better if the 90 on my last in class writing is anything to go about.

The last in class writing was about 1984(frq 3 style which meant we couldn't refer to the book, but he said we wouldn't need to cite specific evidence), the prompt was to analyze the complex ways which the party maintains control over citizens, and consider the questions: what makes their techniques so effective?What are the party's motivations and goals, and can they be achieved?Why or why not? I split it into 2 parts control over the proles and control over the normal citizens (lower level party members) for the proles I guess I went the normal route of analyzing and compared them to farm animals but for the normal citizens my AP lit teacher said he didn't think anyone in our class would compare the act of using big brother and Goldstein to God and Satan. Not because our class is full of christians(there's only 7 students and none of us are christian) but because he thought we would compare it to cults which actually makes more sense. Anyways I'm getting kicked out of the library cause it's really late and I should be going home cause it's a friday. So I'll just stop here. If anyone does read this and have thoughts about any of this especially the 1984 essay feel free to share it, or about my sonnets it was my first time writing one, i usually write prose poems or contemporary ones, I have started reading a book called "She walks in beauty" A woman's journey through poems, selected and introduced by caroline kennedy, the poems there are really good, and the poem "I do not love thee" by The Honorable Caroline Elizabeth Sarah Norton, in the falling in love section reminded me of a poem I wrote. I really have to go now.

I'm writting this for journalism class by the way kind of

-Pinkskies4(A highschool student)

[amnotaqueen]

All About Punishment

I recently taught our 7 year old with special needs how to ride his bicycle with no training wheels. I have been working with him for years. Most toddlers can pedal little tricycles around the house, but my son didn't have the motor skill coordination to pedal for a while. When I helped him figure out how to pedal, it was great. Then, I purchased a bicycle with training wheels and a helmet to further develop his ability to one day ride a bike, unassisted.

By the way, my narc husband doesn't buy him toys to play with. In his 7 years, the only thing I can recall my husband buying for our son with his own money was soccer ball nets. He himself is into soccer. I and his grandma and grandpa ( and friends in the congregation here and there)have bought him toys for his development and enjoyment. He learned to pedal the bike with training wheels but could not adjust to riding without the training wheels. He wore out the training wheels and still required me to hold him steady so he didn't fall over.

He out grew the first bike, so I bought another for him, determined to see him ride. He lacked focus, was easily distracted, was prone to fuss and get agitated at any requests that challenged him. He was afraid to fail and often didn't try and was happy to have me push him along as he pedaled. Needless to say, I was ecstatic the first time he balanced himself and rode his bike alone. I always try to keep my husband in the loop when it comes to things that our son accomplishes while with me. I feel like it's the right thing to do and I just want to brag about our son when I can.

So I sent him a video of our son riding. The length of time it has taken, all the work that I put into getting him there, all the difficulties and progress he made, I would have thought my husband would have given more extended praise. He only replied to the video I texted him at work with, 'my boy is growing up! Wonderful.' When he got home from work, he said nothing about it.

If it were me, getting home from work after receiving the video of our son riding his bicycle alone, I would have praised him and made a big deal out of it in our son's presence. This was a cause for celebration and it fell flat with my husband. He doesn't pick up on reasons to praise or upbuild. He picks up on reasons to punish, tear down, insult. He really runs with the punishment and insults.

When I asked him why he had not personally congratulated or praised our son for his accomplishment, he said, 'Oh! Yeah, good job.' 'Oh', like he had forgotten already. You forgot? Of course, he has so many other vastly more important things on his mind, like his business, his own accomplishments, and all other things pertaining to himself.

And in his text, he low-key shaded me as well. He knows how long I alone have been working with our son to teach him to ride. He knows I purchased the bikes and helmet alone. Yet, he attributed my son's accomplishment to his growing up. He didn't even acknowledge the efforts I had made. No, 'you did a good job working with him to teach him something that can bring him enjoyment for decades to come'. No. To have said something like that to me would have indicated that maybe I am good for something, maybe I do some things right after all.

Another recent example of preference to put down rather than give commendation was when I was telling him about how our son played with other kids at the park that day. We had stayed about an hour and he played and rode his bike with other kids while I closely monitored him.

I was happy that it went mostly well until it was time to go. I was pleased that he stayed an hour. Number one, with the cooking, cleaning, feeding, errands,tutoring, and activities I do during the day while my son is with me, it's not easy for me to fit in an hour of play. Number two, it is extra work for me to monitor my son while out in public to make sure he is not doing anything inappropriate, preventing meltdowns, or stopping melt downs already in progress, trying to keep my son and other kids safe, trying to mitigate things my son does that irritates other children. It can be exhausting, nerve-wracking, anxiety inducing, and just plain stressful. Parents with children with autism or ADHD know what I'm talking about.

So, the fact that I managed to have him play at the park and socialize for an hour successfully was an accomplishment. I thought my husband would have been happy to hear he had socialized for an hour, given our circumstances. I don't know why I thought that. When I told him we were out there for an hour, my husband's response was, 'That's it?' As in, that's all the time you could manage, only an hour? Nothing I do is commendable. Nothing I do is worthy of any praise. Put downs are aplenty, but praise is sorely lacking.