#tall tale tuesday

[talltalestogo]

“Dog walk”

Dog walk A fall walk at dusk, / tethered to the edge of light, / two dogs and me. . . #fall #walk #dusk #light #tethered #dogs #photo #poem #poetry #haiku #senryu #oldnorthknoxville #talltalestogo #davidebooker #october #tuesday #101023 #2023

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Honestly took me longer than it should have to realise that this post wasn't about naval battles.

[lowaltitude]

Dial Tone | Matt Rempe

- NHL, New York Rangers - x Reader

❪ FEM! ❫

───── ❝ description + disclaimer ❞ ─────

𖥻 Matthew Rempe x FEM!reader, in which a wrong number friendship is more than you'd hope for. OR he falls first, he falls hard, he's NYC's biggest enforcer.

𖥻 99% texts. established relationships? the most basic plot idea everrrr bc I watched The Idea Of You before watching a playoffs match. PART 1. 3.5k words

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

I had just gotten home and sprawled out on my apartment's couch, letting Netflix autoplay something random after finishing Brooklyn Nine-Nine again. My phone buzzed, interrupting my thoughts.

Tuesday, March 12, 2024Today, 3:16 PM UNKNOWN: Alley said she tried to call you, text me when you're on the way to the rink.

My phone buzzed again.

Today, 3:42 PM UNKNOWN: Steph?

Today, 4:01 PM UNKNOWN: Are you on your way or not?

I glanced at my phone, seeing another message from the unknown number. Smirking slightly, typing a quick response.

ME: Not Steph, good luck finding your girlfriend.

I tossed my phone aside and settled deeper into the couch, trying to distract myself from the uninspired short story I had been working on. Hours passed, and I still hadn’t made any progress. The story was just another tall tale that could easily end with "and then I woke up," and at this rate, it might.

My phone buzzed again, and I groaned before reaching for it.

Today, 12:19 AM UNKNOWN: Gross. I was looking for my sister.

I sighed, feeling slightly amused.

ME: Okay? Hope you found her. UNKNOWN: I'm sorry to have bothered you, I realise the area code is wrong.

With nothing better to do, I found myself replying, curiosity piqued.

ME: 212, Manhattan. Nice area, rich boy charm. UNKNOWN: Not really rich, or much charm. But boy, yes. 619, where's that? ME: San Diego.

A pause. I put my phone down, trying to focus back on my assignment, but the ping of a new message distracted me.

UNKNOWN: I'm guessing you're just as bored as I am right now. ME: Definitely bored, that is correct. UNKNOWN: So San Diego, what’s keeping you awake that’s so boring? ME: Nothing much, Manhattan. Just assignments. But it’s only 12:30 here, isn’t it 3 AM in NY? UNKNOWN: That would be correct. ME: Then what’s keeping YOU awake? UNKNOWN: Won my hockey game, went to celebrate, and now I’m just sitting here.

I chuckled, intrigued by the late-night conversation.

ME: Hockey? Do you play for a college team or just for fun?

There was a long pause, a stark contrast to the quick replies earlier.

MANHATTAN: Yeah, I do college hockey. ME: Nice, what position? I don’t know LOTS about hockey or anything, but I'm friends with some guys on the SDSU team. MANHATTAN: Haha, right wing. But really, I just rough people up 💪 ME: Oh cool! (no clue what a right wing does) MANHATTAN: Then what position does your boyfriend play?

I raised an eyebrow, feeling the conversation shift.

ME: I never said that word. MANHATTAN: And I'm just checking. You are a girl, right? I’m not about to hit on a 50-year-old man.

I laughed, surprised by his forwardness.

ME: You’re about to hit on me? Are you meant to tell me that? MANHATTAN: Probably not, but I had a few drinks a bit ago so I can blame it on the alcohol if it goes wrong. ME: Yes, I am a girl. MANHATTAN: Wonderful, now that I know you're not trying to lure me into your mother's basement so you can use my skin as your new rug, can I get your name?

I smirked, enjoying the playful tone.

ME: Whoa, never said anything about NOT making a new rug. I kind of like the whole Manhattan & San Diego anonymous thing we have happening. MANHATTAN: Hmm, I guess so. A secret identity might not be the best move though. ME: Are you sure you want to risk it? Might say something regrettable since it’s 4 AM for you now. MANHATTAN: But it's only 1 AM for you, so it’s a risk I’ll take ;)

I smiled, feeling a mix of excitement and curiosity.

ME: Exactly how many strangers do you text like this? MANHATTAN: If I say only 1 will that make you feel special? ME: So you just go around contacting random numbers in hopes they’re girls your age so you can try to knock their socks off? MANHATTAN: You catch on fast, San Diego.

I rubbed my eyes, getting off the couch, typing as I walked through my small apartment. I passed my roommate’s bedroom, noticing her snoring with her phone still looping the last TikTok she’d been watching.

As I reached my room, I took off my hoodie and left my phone on my bed, watching for the next message.

ME: So, tell me about your hockey match. MANHATTAN: Well… I actually got ejected so I didn’t do much. ME: Ahh, a ruffian. MANHATTAN: All I did was elbow a guy! ME: In the face? MANHATTAN: No comment. ME: While going really fast on knife shoes? MANHATTAN: I said no comment, San Diego 😠😠 But yes. I may have a little notoriety for… enforcing. ME: How many fights does college hockey have? Oh wow. MANHATTAN: I think that's enough of my sports career. Tell me about you. ME: About me? MANHATTAN: I want to know about you. I mean it, tell me something.

I hesitated, then smiled.

ME: Um, I can't think of anything… I just got into bed. MANHATTAN: Then you should go, San Diego, get some rest. Nice chatting with you (and I'll text you later in the day if that's alright). ME: Bye, Manhattan 👋 (and I wouldn't be opposed).

I placed my phone on the nightstand, my thoughts lingering on the unexpected connection as I drifted off to sleep.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

I woke up to a new text message, my groggy eyes struggling to adjust to the brightness of my phone screen.

Wednesday, March 13, 2024today 10:32am MANHATTAN: Morning, San Diego! Did you sleep well?

I smiled at the message, feeling a little flutter in my chest. I hadn’t expected him to actually text me again, but here he was.

ME: Morning! I did, thanks 😊 How about you? Finally got some sleep after your 4 am texting spree? MANHATTAN: Eventually, yeah. Slept in a bit, but now I’m back at it. MANHATTAN: Classes and all that. ME: Fun times… What’s your major? MANHATTAN: Business. It’s alright, but hockey’s the real passion. You? ME: English, hence my very exciting letter-writing assignment 🙄 MANHATTAN: Ah, right. The one you’re totally not procrastinating on. ME: Exactly! I’m just waiting for inspiration to hit. MANHATTAN: Maybe I can help with that.

I raised an eyebrow at the screen, intrigued.

ME: Oh yeah? You’re a secret writing genius, Mr. Hockey? MANHATTAN: Hardly. But I’m good at roughing up boring ideas. Give me a shot. What’s the assignment again? ME: I have to write a long letter. Could be to anyone about anything… It's supposed to show off my writing skills. MANHATTAN: How about a letter to a stranger? Like some random person you met by mistake… 👀

I laughed, seeing where he was going with this.

ME: Sounds like something I’d do. Maybe I’ll take you up on that. MANHATTAN: If you need material, I can keep sending you nonsense texts. You know, for inspiration. ME: Careful, I might just put all your deepest, darkest secrets into my assignment. MANHATTAN: Bold of you to assume I have any secrets, San Diego. ME: Everyone has secrets, Manhattan.

There was a pause before he responded, the three little dots appearing and disappearing a few times. I wondered what he was thinking or if I’d said something to make him hesitate.

MANHATTAN: Guess you’ll have to keep talking to me to find out 😉 ME: Smooth. Real smooth. MANHATTAN: It’s part of my so-called charm. So, what’s your day looking like? ME: Not much, honestly. Maybe I’ll hit the library, try to get some work done. MANHATTAN: Or you could do something fun instead. Life’s too short to spend all day in the library. ME: Fun? What do you suggest? MANHATTAN: Well, if you were in Manhattan, I’d say we go skating. But since you’re all the way over there… What do people even do for fun in San Diego? ME: I could go to the beach… but it’s not really the best weather for it today. MANHATTAN: Rainy? ME: Just cloudy, kind of chilly. The ocean looks a bit gloomy when it’s like this. MANHATTAN: Gloomy beaches, sounds like a whole vibe. Maybe that’s your inspiration. A letter to the ocean or something. ME: You really think a letter to the ocean will get me a passing grade? MANHATTAN: If you write it well enough, why not? Make it all deep and meaningful. Professors eat that stuff up. ME: Haha, I’ll think about it. Anyway, what about you? Any big plans? MANHATTAN: Just practice later, then probably hanging out with the team. Nothing too exciting. ME: Sounds like a solid day. Try not to get ejected this time. MANHATTAN: No promises. Gotta keep my reputation, you know? ME: Right, the tough guy. I’ll keep that in mind. MANHATTAN: But I’m a softie at heart, San Diego. Don’t let the hockey fool you. ME: Noted. Maybe I’ll write that in my letter. “To the boy who’s tough on the ice but soft underneath…” MANHATTAN: Now you’re getting it. Make me sound mysterious. ME: Mysterious, huh? I’ll see what I can do.

I was grinning now, the banter flowing easily between us. There was something about this random stranger that made me feel lighter, like maybe today wasn’t going to be so dull after all.

ME: Alright, I should actually get ready if I’m going to do anything productive today. But thanks for the distraction, Manhattan. MANHATTAN: Anytime, San Diego. I’ll text you later? ME: Looking forward to it.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

I was curled up on my couch, a mug of tea warming my hands as I absentmindedly scrolled through my phone. The past month had flown by, and my unexpected friendship with 'Manhattan' had become a regular part of my routine. We’d been texting nearly every day, sharing snippets of our lives, random thoughts, and plenty of playful banter. But lately, something had shifted—his messages had taken on a more flirty tone, and, honestly, I didn’t mind it.

My phone buzzed, and I smiled when his contact name popped up on the screen.

Friday, April 12, 2024today 8:45pm MANHATTAN: What’s up, San Diego? Missing me yet?

I couldn’t help but grin at his words. He’d been dropping little hints like this more and more, and each time, it sent a little thrill through me.

ME: Why would I miss you? We just talked this morning 😏 MANHATTAN: I don’t know, you tell me. Maybe you’re secretly counting down the hours until you hear from me again. ME: Oh, totally. I’m just sitting here pining away. MANHATTAN: Knew it. You can’t resist my charm. ME: Your ego is something else, you know that? MANHATTAN: Only because you feed it. Anyway, what’s the plan for tonight? Any hot dates?

I felt a little flutter in my chest at the question, even though I knew he was probably just teasing.

ME: Just me, myself, and I tonight. Super exciting. MANHATTAN: That’s a shame. If I were in San Diego, I’d take you out somewhere nice. ME: Oh yeah? Where would you take me, Mr. Big City? MANHATTAN: Somewhere with a view, good food, and even better company. ME: Wow, smooth talker. Do you use this line on all the girls? MANHATTAN: Only the ones who accidentally text me back 😉

I laughed, shaking my head at his response.

ME: Lucky me, I guess. MANHATTAN: I think I’m the lucky one here.

I paused, reading the message again, feeling my cheeks warm slightly. There it was again—that flirty edge that had been creeping into his texts lately. And I couldn’t pretend I didn’t like it.

ME: Is that so? MANHATTAN: Definitely. How many girls are cool enough to joke about turning me into a rug and then end up being someone I actually want to talk to every day? ME: Fair point. I’m one of a kind. MANHATTAN: That you are. So, since I’m not there to take you out, what are you doing to entertain yourself? ME: I’m just relaxing, maybe watching a movie later. Nothing too crazy. MANHATTAN: Sounds cozy. I’d offer to keep you company, but I’m not sure you’re ready to handle my charming self in person. ME: Oh, I’m sure I could handle you just fine. MANHATTAN: Careful, San Diego. I might take that as a challenge.

I bit my lip, feeling a mix of excitement and nerves at his boldness. This was definitely new territory, but I couldn’t deny that I was enjoying it.

ME: Maybe I want you to.

There was a pause, and I watched the typing bubble appear and disappear, wondering what was going through his mind. My heart raced in anticipation, unsure of what to expect next. Then, my phone buzzed again—not with a message, but with a photo.

I opened it and stared at the image for a moment, a smile tugging at my lips. He was standing in what looked like a hallway, wearing a worn white T-shirt and a Yankees baseball cap. His hair was a little long, curling out from under the cap, and he had a faint mustache that gave him a laid-back, almost mischievous look. His smile was subtle but warm, like he wasn’t quite sure what to expect either.

MANHATTAN: Figured it’s only fair you see who you’re talking to.

I couldn’t help but feel my heart skip a beat. He was more than I’d imagined—there was something so genuine and relaxed about him, and that easy confidence I’d sensed in our conversations was clearly just a part of who he was.

ME: Not bad, Manhattan. Not bad at all. MANHATTAN: Glad you approve. Now, your turn?

I felt a rush of nerves as I realized he was asking for a photo in return. This felt like a big step—more real than anything we’d done before. But there was also something exciting about it, about finally showing him who I was after all this time.

I took a deep breath, then snapped a quick selfie, trying to capture something that felt natural but not too staged. I hesitated only for a second before hitting send, my heart pounding as I waited for his reaction.

ME: Alright, but don’t judge too harshly.

My phone buzzed almost immediately after I sent the photo. I could practically feel my pulse in my ears as I watched the screen, waiting for his response. It didn’t take long.

MANHATTAN: Wow.

I bit my lip, a small smile creeping onto my face. Just one word, but it was enough to make my stomach flip.

ME: "Wow" good, or "wow" bad? MANHATTAN: Definitely good. You’re beautiful, San Diego. I wasn’t prepared for that.

I felt my cheeks heat up at his words. There was something different about receiving a compliment from someone who’d only known me through words until now—someone who hadn’t seen my face but still wanted to know more about me.

ME: You’re just saying that. MANHATTAN: I’m really not. I mean it. I didn’t expect this whole wrong-number thing to turn into something like this, but I’m glad it did. ME: Me too. It’s been… nice, talking to you. Getting to know you. MANHATTAN: More than nice, if you ask me. But now that I’ve seen you, I kind of want to see more of you.

My heart skipped a beat at that. The idea of him wanting more, even though we’d only known each other through these messages, made something flutter inside me.

ME: More of me? How so? MANHATTAN: Not in a creepy way, I promise. Just… more of your thoughts, your stories. I like hearing about your day, what you’re up to. I guess I’m just curious about you. ME: You’re making me blush over here. MANHATTAN: Good. You’ve been doing that to me since day one.

I felt my face heat up even more, and I couldn’t help but smile. It was strange how this random guy from Manhattan, who I’d never even met, could make me feel this way.

ME: Well, if you’re really that curious, ask away. What do you want to know? MANHATTAN: That sounds perfect. What’s your favorite book? ME: That’s like asking a parent to pick their favorite child! How would you feel if I asked you your favorite hockey team? MANHATTAN: New York Rangers. Easy. Number 1 😉 ME: Alright, I'll take your word for it. MANHATTAN: So, tell me something else. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t yet?

I laughed softly to myself, feeling that familiar warmth from our conversation. The idea of us just getting to know each other like this, little by little, was comforting. It felt safe and exciting all at once.

ME: I’ve always wanted to travel more. There’s a whole world out there, and I’ve only seen a tiny part of it. MANHATTAN: Where’s the first place you’d go? ME: Italy, I think. The food, the history, the art—I want to experience all of it. MANHATTAN: That sounds incredible. I’ve always wanted to see more of Europe, too. ME: Maybe one day we’ll both get there. Until then, I guess we’ll just have to keep texting about it. MANHATTAN: I’m more than okay with that, San Diego. Talking to you is the best part of my day. ME: Same here, Manhattan.

As I set my phone down, I felt a sense of contentment wash over me. There was no rush, no pressure—just a growing connection with someone who was quickly becoming more than just a stranger on the other end of a text. And for now, that was more than enough.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

It had been almost a month since the night I saw Manhattan’s face for the first time, and our conversations had only gotten better since then. We talked almost every day, sharing little details about our lives, random thoughts, and sometimes just silence on the other end of the line when we were both too tired to text much. I was surprised by how close I’d grown to him, even without meeting in person.

One afternoon, I got an email from one of my professors that sent my heart racing. My university was offering a select group of students a fully-funded, three-day trip to New York City to attend a special literary conference. The idea was to network, attend workshops, and get a taste of the publishing world in one of the most vibrant cities in the world. And somehow, I’d been chosen.

As soon as I read the email, my mind went straight to Manhattan. The idea of being in the same city as him, even if I wasn’t planning on meeting up, was both thrilling and nerve-wracking. But as much as I wanted to share the news with him, a different thought crossed my mind—a surprise. What if I didn’t tell him? What if I showed up in his city and surprised him with the news?

The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. He’d been so open and sweet in our conversations, and I wanted to do something special. It felt like the perfect opportunity to catch him off guard, in a good way.

That evening, when I grabbed my phone to text him, I felt a little mischievous. I decided to keep the New York trip to myself for now.

Tuesday, May 2, 2024today 8:45pm ME: Hey, how’s your day going? MANHATTAN: Not bad, just finished practice. How about you? ME: Same old, same old. Classes, assignments, you know the drill. MANHATTAN: Ah, the glamorous life of a student. Anything exciting on the horizon?

I bit my lip, resisting the urge to spill the beans.

ME: Nothing too crazy. Just trying to survive this semester. MANHATTAN: You’ve got this. I believe in you, San Diego. ME: Thanks, Manhattan. I appreciate that. MANHATTAN: Anytime. So, what’s on your mind? ME: Honestly, just thinking about how much I’d love to get away for a bit. You know, escape the routine. MANHATTAN: I hear you. If you ever find yourself in need of a change of scenery, you know where to find me 😉

I smiled to myself, knowing that in just a few weeks, I would be much closer to him than he realized.

ME: I’ll keep that in mind. MANHATTAN: Good. I’d be happy to play tour guide if you ever made it to the Big Apple. ME: I’ll have to remember that. You seem like you’d be a pretty good tour guide. MANHATTAN: Oh, I am. You’d be in excellent hands.

I chuckled, the idea of actually seeing him in person lingering in the back of my mind. But for now, I decided to keep the surprise to myself.

ME: I’ll bet. Maybe one day I’ll take you up on that offer. MANHATTAN: I hope so. It would be fun.

A sense of anticipation buzzed through me. The thought of being in New York, in his city, and surprising him with my presence was exciting. It was something to look forward to, something just for me, and maybe for him too—when the time was right.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

to be continued... hehehe

[piratefalls]

it's been a week and it's only tuesday. my brain is so tired i almost uploaded a snapshot of my dog's vet records. here's the greatest hits of everything i've read in the last week. (mind the tags on a few!)

masterlist

might blow up in your pretty face by crybabie

“I see you liked my gift,” Alex’s voice was light, but lower than Henry had ever heard it. His belly swooped at the sound. And then the words caught up with him. “Gift?” He felt the color drain from his face and frantically reopened Snapchat to confirm his worst fucking nightmare: his most recent outgoing messages had been sent to Alex, and all of them had been opened already. “Playing dumb doesn’t suit you,” Alex told him, still teasing, but he sounded muffled through the ringing in Henry’s ears. “I gotta say, I wasn’t expecting you to even acknowledge them, let alone send pictures. They look good on you.” - or, the next box was indeed full of thongs :)

When I Met You (I Could Not Speak) by @sparklepocalypse

Following the latest string of disastrous first dates with beautiful women to whom he’s decidedly unattracted, and with yet another circular argument with Philip about duty still ringing in his ears, Henry’s summarily fled to the countryside. Here at least, he reasons, there’s no pressure to woo the locals. (A modern fairy tale AU.)

A thousand dreams that would awake me by @kiwiana-writes

“It’s not about punishment.” Alex just nods; Henry had been very clear on the form that he wasn’t looking to be dominated or put in his place, so that won’t be new information. “And it’s not the pain as such.” He runs his fingers along the edge of the mug. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like to feel it, but I’m not looking for pain for the sake of pain. It’s more about… control, I think.” There’s a long silence. “Taking it?” Alex prompts finally. “Or giving it up?” “Does it sound ridiculous if I say both?” Or, Henry visits a sex club to get spanked the way he's craving.

Foreign Bodies by clottedcreamfudge

“We both know it's not a doctor you need,” Henry says, sharp and beautiful, hands hovering just in front of him like he wants to touch Alex, but knows exactly how it would be received; like he knows Alex would burst into fucking flames at the first brush of his fingertips. Three hours ago, Alex had been quite happy to live without being burned. Now, he thinks he'd pay for the privilege.

Well It Ain't Missionary by everwitch

Alex Claremont-Diaz, a ballet dancer, is asked to list his ‘favorite positions.’ His hilariously suggestive answer goes viral, as does the unexpectedly flustered reaction to it by the Internet’s very own FoxySexEd. So obviously, Alex has to slide into Henry’s DMs. How could he resist? When a man that attractive wants your dick, only a fool would pass. Henry is surprising. He wants to be pushed around, thrown for a loop, and he wants Alex to do it for him. But whenever Alex tries to soften his landing, Henry clams up like he’s been burned. Alex can work around that, obviously. He's a dancer. If you're gonna toe the line just right, pointe shoes are a must. Or: Alex and Henry fuck. Not in missionary.

all my time is yours to spend by smc_27

Any way you look at it, Bea is not meant to be here, and if it were just the lights, he’d assume she forgot to turn them off. The fire burning is another thing entirely. The weather has been dreadful, and perhaps her flight was canceled. Surely, she’d have told him as much. He should investigate.

i told myself don't get attached (but in my mind i play it back) by coffeecatsme

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Claremont-Diaz,” the woman behind the counter says, eyes wide and apologetic. Alex grits his teeth so he doesn’t say something inappropriate in a lobby full of scared families, crying kids, and the obscenely tall British guy that’s currently giving him a fucking migraine. “Due to the snowstorm warning, all the flights are cancelled, and unfortunately the room you’ve booked is currently occupied.” “Occupied,” Alex repeats dumbly, nails digging into his palm. “I booked this room three months ago.” “Yes, well, the previous occupant—” “Should’ve been out of here by now.” Alex knows he sounds harsh, he knows the stupid blond is hovering somewhere behind him listening to the whole conversation, but he can’t help it. He’s not spending what’s supposed to be his vacation alone with another guy in his room. Or, Alex and Henry are stuck in the same room in a hotel during a sudden blizzard

how do you want me? by rizcriz

“Christ,” Henry curses quietly, lowering the camera. “You’re beautiful.” Kneeling on the bed, his ankles crossed behind him, a hand tucked into his briefs, the other carefully weaved through his hair, is Bea’s friend Alex. The light sits on his skin, a delicate shadow of eyelashes fan over his cheeks, and when Henry speaks, he opens his eyes and looks at him from beneath those eyelashes, a careful smirk slipping over his lips. He doesn’t move from the pose, though, as he says, “You’re not so bad yourself, sweetheart.” - Or Henry’s in over his head.

The Next Draft by graceofgrayskull

“This is so unfair,” Alex says, still eyeing Henry. “What?” June asks. “That Henry Fox is talented, successful, and also mind-numbingly good-looking?” says Nora. Alex nods. “Exactly. Like my perfect nemesis. He’s coming for my brand.” -- Alex has read Henry Fox's debut approximately three times in the past three months. The novel, featuring a wary protagonist coming to terms with his sexuality, is garnering Fox critical acclaim. And maybe Alex is a little jealous — his own novel generated a surprising amount of success last year after going viral online, but it just wasn't cut out for the type of buzz Fox was receiving. So Alex jumps at the chance to meet Henry at a book signing, despite knowing very little about the man himself. What starts as a bad first impression quickly leads to fast friendship, many Instagram DMs, and a whole lot of mutual pining.

Shoot Your Shot by RoseHarperMaxwell

Jimmy raises his eyebrows in anticipation. “First celebrity crush?” As usual, Alex’s mouth is moving before his mind can catch up. “Oh,” he gestures, like this is both obvious and the easiest question he’s ever been asked. “Prince Henry.”

No Laughing Matter by inexplicablymine

Ellen is leaning over him, her blonde hair pulled back in a perfectly coiffed updo. He had never managed to understand why exactly she was always dressed so impeccably in her scrubs as a dentist. But she seemed almost presidential, even with the eyeglasses that had magnifying glasses sticking out of them making her look a little like some kind of bug. She only needs a quick look before she is snapping her gloves against her wrists pulling away. “Wisdom teeth come in and then they come out,” she says, and then as an afterthought tack on, “just like you.” Or, who said a meet cute couldn't happen while getting your Wisdom Teeth out?

Love and Hate at the Farmers' Market by @myheartalivewrites

Alex and Henry both work at a farmers' market and they hate each other, until suddenly— oops! They don't!

i'll bet it all on me and you, i'll bet it all you're bulletproof by anincompletelist

“Let’s do this,” he says. “Let’s,” Alex agrees, pushing down on the handle until the door swings open. “After you, boyfriend.” This is most definitely not his finest idea. Henry usually practices much better self preservation skills. Much better common sense skills. He steps over the threshold of Alex’s room and it feels like sealing his fate. They’re doing this for Alex to win over their bosses in a lighthearted game with a harmless lie, but Henry can’t fight off the bitter knowledge that, regardless of how tonight goes, Alex will be fine, but Henry has so much to lose.

in an emergency by metacrisis

Alex gets in his own head about a meme Henry liked and decides to take matters, quite literally, into his own hands. OR, Alex gets a sex toy and other nonsense.

(Valen)Tie Me Up by happinessofthepursuit

“Well, I actually made your gift at one of Pez’s workshops, though I’m sure they would’ve gotten it out of me anyway,” Henry says, voice fond. Alex’s mind is whirring, going through the monthly calendars from Seize the Play. Pez leads classes multiple times a week, but there’s only a few that Henry could’ve attended, and one in particular that would explain his own gift… “Which one?” Alex asks. “I think that’ll immediately be clear.” Or, Alex and Henry exchange gifts for their first Valentine’s together—then proceed to use them.

More Amour by surveycorpsjean

Alex discovers something in Henry's closet that changes everything.

Confidential Memorandum by sherryvalli

"Hello, Mr. Fox-Mountchristen's office. How may I help you?" "Hello, can I speak to Mr. Fox-Mount-krishen, please?" Alex blinked. After two weeks of hearing nothing but the voices of snooty men and frazzled secretaries calling in, the person on the other line now sounded decidedly neither snooty nor male nor in any way adult. It was a little girl. "Mr. Fox-Mountchristen's unfortunately in a meeting right now,” Alex began slowly, “but I could take a message?" "Oh." The girl paused. "You're not Mr. Hunter." Alex starts a new job as Henry's new assistant. Henry's daughter keeps calling the office and leaving him messages.

in bloom by stutteringpeach

Yoo, can u hook me up with some flowers?? It's the busiest day of the year for florists. Alex texts Henry with a last minute request.

don't want you like a best friend by @priincebutt

The thing about marrying your best friend who you also happen to have a very secret crush on, is that you don’t take into account how much it will hurt. When they’re around his family and Alex holds his hand so easily, like it’s second nature, it makes Henry’s heart skip a beat, but when they return back to his apartment the distance is deafening. Alex purposefully sits at the opposite end of the couch, and Alex sleeps in the guest bedroom, and Alex calls him ‘man’ like two bros who definitely aren’t in love with each other. So he pines, and he’s heartbroken already, because he knows how much this is going to shatter him when it’s over. Because Alex is integrating into his life like it’s nothing, like it’s easy and this could be their new normal, and that kind of thinking is fucking dangerous. Or, Alex and Henry get married, conveniently.

everyone adores you (at least i do) by matherine

Rain is coming down in sheets against the stained glass windows of the brownstone when the door swings open, ushering in the howl of the wind and the man Henry loves more than anything in the world. “Why didn’t you use your colonizer blood money to buy a place closer to the train station?” Alex calls from the doorway. Henry hears the familiar rhythm of the lock tumblers turning and Alex’s copy of the key to the brownstone clinking against Henry’s signet ring and the key to the Austin house on his chest, only vaguely muffled by the rain. “It’s miserable out there.” Or: Alex comes into the brownstone in the midst of a rainstorm, and Henry realizes he never wants him to leave.

know how to cover up a scene by HypnosTheory

“That’s how Alvie kisses Harry,” Alex says, squeezing Henry’s wrist. Henry’s eyes dart down to the slight red mark on Alex’s cheek. He hit Alex the last time they were together. Henry didn’t get to watch the bruise form then with Alex between his legs. “That’s why Harry wanders, but he always comes back.” Henry draws in a shaky breath. “Alvie’s a lucky man.” Alex’s eyes drop to Henry’s neck, where the diamond of his pendant hangs amid the forming marks Alex left behind. “Sure is." __ Henry Fox, needing an extraction, must rely on his part-time rival, full-time problem Alex Claremont-Diaz. To get that extraction, Henry needs to pose as Alex's date for a high-stakes dinner. They get in character - and stay that way behind closed doors.

as always, let me know if you want to be tagged, and i'll see you next week!

tagging: @starkfridays @stilesgivesmefeels @midnightsfp @sarahjswift

[disneytva]

September 2024 Programming Highlights

Tuesday, Sept. 3 Original Series – Series Premiere on Disney Junior and Disney Channel Kindergarten: The Musical! “There’s No Place Like Kindergarten/We’re Off to Get a Sticker” (1-01) (8:00-8:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Junior/11:00-11:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel) “There’s No Place Like Kindergarten” – Berti is homesick on her first day of kindergarten.

“We’re Off to Get a Sticker” – Radish tries to prove he’s a great explorer by finding all the stickers for his classroom “passport.” TV-Y

Wednesday, Sept. 4 Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Junior and Disney Channel Kindergarten: The Musical! “One Singular Self-Portrait/Don’t Cry for Me Kindergarten” (1-02) (8:00-8:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Junior/11:00-11:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel) “One Singular Self-Portrait” – Berti makes a self-portrait but can’t decide whether to give it to her Mami or Papi.

“Don’t Cry for Me Kindergarten” – Rose rests in the Chill Zone, but her friends worry she’ll miss all the kindergarten fun! TV-Y

Thursday, Sept. 5 Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Junior and Disney Channel Kindergarten: The Musical! “Little Job of Horrors/Bye Bye Albie” (1-03) (8:00-8:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Junior/11:00-11:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel) “Little Job of Horrors” – The kids spin a wheel to get a classroom job, but Berti doesn’t like the job she’s assigned.

“Bye Bye Albie” – When Albert, the class guinea pig, goes missing, the kids look everywhere for him! TV-Y

Friday, Sept. 6 Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Junior and Disney Channel Star Wars: Young Jedi Adventures “Battle for the Band/Uprooted” (2-06) (6:25-6:55 a.m. EDT on Disney Junior/7:00-7:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel) “Battle for the Band” – Hap teams up with the Jedi to rescue his friends.

“Uprooted” – Nubs searches for a rare, stolen plant. TV-Y

Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Junior and Disney Channel Kindergarten: The Musical! “Shoeloose/If I Only Had a Scarf” (1-04) (8:00-8:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Junior/11:00-11:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel) “Shoeloose” – Berti doesn’t want to get her new sparkly sneakers dirty, so she refuses to play at recess.

“If I Only Had a Scarf” – Berti loses her special scarf at school and then spots it … on a second grader. TV-Y

Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Junior and Disney Channel Disney Jr.’s Ariel “Ariel’s Tall Mer-Tale/Remy, the Houseguest” (1-14) (9:00-9:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Junior/10:00-10:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel) “Ariel’s Tall Mer-Tale” – Tantie Chantale, a marine biologist, comes to visit, and Ariel feels left out when she bonds with Fernie over fish facts. *TV personality and science communicator Danni Washington guest stars as Tantie Chantale.

“Remy, the Houseguest” – Ariel invites a lost remora named Remy to stay at her Crystal Cavern. TV-Y 

Saturday, Sept. 7 Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Channel and Disney XD Primos “Summer of El Cringe/Summer of Taternomics” (1-14) (9:00-9:30 a.m. EDT) “Summer of El Cringe” – Tater questions her love for her favorite series.

“Summer of Taternomics” – Tater turns Scooter’s sewing talents into profit. TV-Y7

Friday, Sept. 13 Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Junior and Disney Channel Star Wars: Young Jedi Adventures “Mine and Ours/The Andraven Circuit” (2-07) (6:25-6:55 a.m. EDT on Disney Junior/7:00-7:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel) “Mine and Ours” – When pests swarm a party, Jedi jump in to help.

“The Andraven Circuit” – The Jedi join a friend in a wilderness adventure. TV-Y

Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Junior and Disney Channel Kindergarten: The Musical! “Bunny Girl/Give My Regards to Backdrops” (1-07) (8:00-8:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Junior/11:00-11:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel) “Bunny Girl” – Berti doesn’t want to donate her favorite book to the class book drive.

“Give My Regards to Backdrops” – Ms. Moreno lets the class turn a gigantic cardboard box into whatever they want. TV-Y

Saturday, Sept. 14 Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Channel and Disney XD Primos “Summer of La Hamaca/Summer of the Santa Anas” (1-15) (9:00-9:30 a.m. EDT) “Summer of La Hamaca” – Tater and the primos are stalked by an evil hammock.

“Summer of the Santa Anas” – Tater and the primos get trapped by a giant dust storm. TV-Y7

Original Series – Season Two Premiere on Disney Channel and Disney XD Hamster & Gretel “Hakuna Ma Kevin/The Great American Telenovela” (2-01) (10:00-10:30 a.m. EDT) “Hakuna Ma Kevin” – Gretel gets stressed out when Kevin returns from a relaxation camp with a laid-back attitude.

“The Great American Telenovela” – When Carolina is cast in a telenovela, the kids have to stop a saboteur. TV-Y7

Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Channel and Disney XD Hamster & Gretel “Lair Necessities/Tobor or Not Tobor” (2-02) (10:30-11:00 a.m. EDT) “Lair Necessities” – While Kevin looks for a new lair, Hamster and Gretel battle a pair of psychic construction workers.

“Tobor or Not Tobor” – Tobor helps Hamster and Gretel prepare for the threat from space. TV-Y7

Friday, Sept. 20 Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Junior and Disney Channel Star Wars: Young Jedi Adventures “The Great Gourd Quest/A Sticky Situation” (2-08) (6:25-6:55 a.m. EDT on Disney Junior/7:00-7:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel) “The Great Gourd Quest” – Nubs tracks down a harvest taken by birds.

“A Sticky Situation” – Kai faces his fears when spiders get loose in the temple. TV-Y

Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Junior and Disney Channel SuperKitties “Flying Piggy/Get the Zoomies” (2-13) (7:30-8:00 a.m. EDT on Disney Junior/8:00-8:30 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel) “Flying Piggy” – Wiggles learns how to fly to free the team from Cat Burglar.

“Get the Zoomies” – Mr. Puppypaws’ glittery baby dragons battle the SuperKitties as they try to stop him from not sharing the Zoomie Zone. TV-Y 

Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Junior and Disney Channel Kindergarten: The Musical! “Twin the Heights/Everything’s Coming Up Jamil” (1-09) (8:00-8:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Junior/11:00-11:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel) “Twin the Heights” – Berti and Radish pretend to be twins for the day.

“Everything’s Coming Up Jamil” – Jamil is Student of the Day, but he doesn’t have time to fill out his special poster because all of his friends need his help. TV-Y

Saturday, Sept. 21 Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Channel and Disney XD Primos “Summer of Segundos/Summer of Breaking Bud” (1-17) (9:00-9:30 a.m. EDT) “Summer of Segundos” – Tater finds a way out of obligations with the primos.

“Summer of Breaking Bud” – Tater learns about Cousin Bud’s dark capitalist past. TV-Y7

Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Channel and Disney XD Hamster & Gretel “Evil Upheaval/Ay, Ay, A.I.” (2-03) (10:00-10:30 a.m. EDT) “Evil Upheaval” – The Destructress and Fist Puncher go to therapy to get their super-villainy back on track.

“Ay, Ay, A.I.” – Gretel and Bailey face off against an A.I. crossing guard. TV-Y7

Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Channel and Disney XD Hamster & Gretel “Stress Brawl/I Love Luchie” (2-04) (10:30-11:00 a.m. EDT) “Stress Brawl” – Hiromi’s award ceremony at school is threatened by a mysterious creature.

“I Love Luchie” – The Luchador moves into Kevin and Gretel’s apartment complex. TV-Y7

Friday, Sept. 27 Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Junior and Disney Channel Star Wars: Young Jedi Adventures “The Wild Acklyrr/ Lys’ Lost Lightsaber” (2-10) (6:25-6:55 a.m. EDT on Disney Junior/7:00-7:25 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel) “The Wild Acklyrr” – The Jedi help their friend find a rare creature.

“Lys’ Lost Lightsaber” – Lys loses her lightsaber on Batuu. TV-Y

Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Junior and Disney Channel Marvel’s Spidey and his Amazing Friends “Odd Bot Team Up/The Lost King” (3-21) (8:00-8:30 a.m. EDT on Disney Junior/8:30-9:00 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel) “Odd Bot Team Up” – Spidey and Doc Ock fall into Trapster’s trap, and the only way out is to work together.

“The Lost King” – Spidey and The Thing search for a friend’s missing chess piece. TV-Y

Saturday, Sept. 28 Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Channel and Disney XD Primos “Summer of Gwenship/Summer of Heart Eyes” (1-18) (9:00-9:30 a.m. EDT) “Summer of Gwenship” – Tater finds herself befriending her nemesis.

“Summer of Heart Eyes” – Tater meddles in Lita’s love life. TV-Y7

Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Channel and Disney XD Hamster & Gretel “The More The Meteor/My Hammie Vice” (2-05) (10:00-10:30 a.m. EDT) “The More The Meteor” – The team goes to space to protect a threatened research station and discovers a terrible secret.

“My Hammie Vice” – Hamster goes deep undercover to bust a criminal organization. TV-Y7 

Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Channel and Disney XD Hamster & Gretel “Last Fred Standing/From Dust Till Dawn” (2-06) (10:30-11:00 a.m. EDT) “Last Fred Standing” – Fred competes against her old nemesis Fredrick for the right to use the name Fred.

“From Dust Till Dawn” – Gretel battles the Dust Might to recover a priceless family heirloom. TV-Y7

Monday, Sept. 30 Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Junior and Disney Channel Disney Jr.’s Ariel “La Sirenusca/Substitute Sebastian” (1-12) (8:30-8:55 a.m. EDT on Disney Junior/9:30-9:55 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel) “La Sirenusca” – Ariel tracks down a mythological sea creature.

“Substitute Sebastian” – Ariel and friends get a substitute teacher in music class. TV-Y

[sashayed]

In the Hospital

My mother was in the hospital & everyone wanted to be my friend. But I was busy making a list: good dog, bad citizen, short skeleton, tall mocha. Typical Tuesday. My mother was in the hospital & no one wanted to be her friend. Everyone wanted to be soft cooing sympathies. Very reasonable pigeons. No one had the time & our solution to it was to buy shinier watches. We were enamored with what our wrists could declare. My mother was in the hospital & I didn’t want to be her friend. Typical son. Tall latte, short tale, bad plot, great wifi in the atypical café. My mother was in the hospital & she didn’t want to be her friend. She wanted to be the family grocery list. Low-fat yogurt, firm tofu. She didn’t trust my father to be it. You always forget something, she said, even when I do the list for you. Even then.

Chen Chen from When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities, 2017

[bookclub4m]

Episode 201 - Weird West

 It’s episode 201 and time for us to discuss the genre of Weird West! (Just in time for Halloween!). We talk about the potential temporal and geographic restrictions on western fiction, folklore, tall tales, and more!

You can download the podcast directly, find it on Libsyn, or get it through Apple Podcasts or your favourite podcast delivery system.

In this episode

Anna Ferri | Meghan Whyte | Matthew Murray 🦇 | Jam Edwards

Things We Read (or tried to…)

Red Rabbit by Alex Grecian, narrated by John Pirhalla

The Gunslinger by Stephen King, narrated by George Guidall

Tread of Angels by Rebecca Roanhorse

The Sixth Gun Omnibus, vol. 1 by Cullen Bunn, Brian Hurtt, Bill Crabtree, and Tyler Crook

The Witch Owl Parliament by David Bowles and Raúl the Third

Lone Women by Victor LaValle

River of Teeth by Sarah Gailey

Other Media We Mentioned

Vermilion: The Adventures of Lou Merriwether, Psychopomp and Molly Tanzer

The New Adventures of the Lone Ranger (Probably the version Matthew saw)

Lucky Luke

The Shootist by Glendon Swarthout

The Ballad of Black Tom by Victor LaValle

Links, Articles, and Things

Episode 029 - Westerns

Episode 082 - Steampunk

Episode 106 - Alternative/Alternate History

Episode 183 - One Book One Podcast: Upright Women Wanted

Space Western (TVTropes)

Skin-walker

Land-grant university

Map shows where Colorado’s 8 known free-roaming wolves wandered in September

Libro.fm’s Audiobook Listening Copy Program

Jonah Hex

10 Weird Western Books by BIPOC Authors

Every month Book Club for Masochists: A Readers’ Advisory Podcasts chooses a genre at random and we read and discuss books from that genre. We also put together book lists for each episode/genre that feature works by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, & People of Colour) authors. All of the lists can be found here.

The Witch Owl Parliament by David Bowles and Raúl the Third

Vampires of El Norte by Isabel Cañas

The Good Luck Girls by Charlotte Nicole Davis

Deathless Divide by Justina Ireland

The Buffalo Hunter Hunter by Stephen Graham Jones (forthcoming 2025)

Sisters of the Wild Sage: A Weird Western Collection by Nicole Givens Kurtz

Lone Women by Victor Lavalle

The Thousand Crimes of Ming Tsu by Tom Lin

Tread of Angels by Rebecca Roanhorse

How Much of These Hills Is Gold by C Pam Zhang

Give us feedback!

Fill out the form to ask for a recommendation or suggest a genre or title for us to read!

Check out our Tumblr, follow us on Instagram, join our Facebook Group or Discord Server, or send us an email!

Join us again on Tuesday, October 15th when it’s time for our “We All Read the Same Book” episode as we discuss A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking by T. Kingfisher.

Then on Tuesday, November 5th we’ll be discussing the genre of Dark Academia.

[sprooknooky]

9 people you want to know better tag game

Tagged by @demoncatapologist! Howdy, friend!

Three ships: I’m not a super big shipper… although I do like to ship my own characters for fun, canon or not. Right now I’ve been focused on two OCs me and a friend of mine made together over six years ago. One of them is a very tall mean bisexual and the other is a girlboss going through a divorce. That’s all right now :)

First ship: I think it may have been Ash and Misty from Pokémon. I remember reading fanfiction about them.

Last song: Daylight Robbery by Imogen Heap. Such a banger. Highly recommend

Last movie: Alien!! Oh my god this movie altered my brain chemistry. I went in thinking it was going to be some kind of scifi horror movie and came out of it laughing my ass off out of pure excitement. The sets, costumes, and practical effects in this movie are ASTOUNDING. My mind was absolutely blown. I’ve been going back through the movie a few times a week to take screenshots of scenes I like so I can redraw them because I want everything to be tangible in my hands. Epic anti-corporation message, too. What a good movie.

Currently watching: Struggling my way through the Umbrella Academy season 4 with my parents. Mostly been watching Secret Sleepover Society vods on YouTube and rewatching old episodes of Drawfee. I just finished watching Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous and Jurassic World Chaos Theory and I really liked both of those, too! WAY more intense for kids shows than I thought they’d be, and I loved every second.

Currently reading: Milk Blood Heat by Dantiel W. Moniz, The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood, and Solitaire by Alice Oseman. Also some theatre textbooks for school, the Backstage Handbook, and Stop the Show by Brad Schreiber. I’m about to be consumed by technical theatre in a month or so and no one is ready for it, not even me.

Currently eating: Some penne pasta with pesto sauce and spinach. I always eat pasta on Tuesday nights. I love a good bowl of pasta

Currently craving: I went to Seoul a few months ago and had kimchi rice with a fried egg on top and haven’t stopped thinking about how good it was. I need to find a good Korean restaurant near me…

I can’t really think of people to tag but if you want to do this, consider this an honorary tag. Tag! You’re it!

[theoriginalmarke]

MULTIPLE MONDAY MOODS

I had a meltdown yesterday and then put myself into time out. Kitten's mom pushed the wrong button and I couldn't stop myself from responding.

I went upstairs to our bedroom and pouted. I was ashamed. I was sad. I was angry. I got a lot of reading done. I stared at the walls. I cuddled with the cats.

I'm disappointed in myself because rationally I know that it's the dementia talking. Still, the constant barrage of anger and negativity wears on your soul.

Anyway. A little after six this morning the dog woke me up barking for her breakfast so this day has already started on a sour note.

I was hoping to be creative and write a Made Up Monday but I just don't have it in me right now. Maybe I'll have a Tall Tale Tuesday or something. But for now... I need to cuddle with a cat.

I love you, baby. I'll have cuddles waiting for you, too. RAWR!

Y'all have a great day.

[talltalestogo]

“Bee”

Bee Carpenter bee darts / from blueberry bloom to bloom, / does his spring cleaning. . . #bee #blueberry #bloom #darts #spring #cleaning #talltalestogo #haiku #poem #poetry #haiga #photo #oldnorthknoxville #davidebooker #march #tuesday #040224 #2024

[kanobarlowe]

Tender Tuesday: Regin and Yves

I'll probably go into two different things with them on this post today because lmao if I don't their "meet cute" kind of situation is. Dreadfully and hilariously bad.

Picrew

When Regin and Yves first meet.... it's not in the prettiest place. Yves has just arrived in Little Falls, the larger town that Bridgewater is just up the road from. With little money left in his pocket, he stops at a diner to eat and is then pointed to the little hallway toward the bathroom where a job board hangs on the wall.

In that hallway, with its lone flickering light, just outside the bathrooms, a tall man, seemingly from another time altogether, asks politely for Yves to move. Yves is struck by his appearance as the man simply puts a help wanted sign for his antique shop on the board, then departs.

Meeting outside of a diner bathroom. How romantic.

Alternatively, one of their highlighted moments together is going to the old manor gardens on a walk, trying to find a bit of peace in the midst of mystery. While walking, Regin tells Yves about the parties that he and his friends used to share - and Yves asks him for a demonstration. He sets Yves down on one of the benches, then disappears, returning in a flash moments later with a record player and some candles as the sun sets. He puts on a tune, and the pair dance out overgrown gardens overlooking the sea that glitters as the sun sets beyond the trees behind them.

Tagging

@bardic-tales , @creators-club

[beardedmrbean]

A student behaving like a silly goose in Oklahoma could soon be hauled out of class by animal control.

State Rep. Justin Humphrey introduced a bill on Tuesday that would ban furries from public schools across the state — and allow animal control to round up those who defy the proposed law.

“Students who purport to be an imaginary animal or animal species, or who engage in anthropomorphic behavior commonly referred to as furries at school shall not be allowed to participate in school curriculum or activities,” House Bill 3084 states.

The legislation would require parents or guardians to pick up their child from school. Otherwise, “animal control services shall be contacted to remove the student,” the bill states.

If passed, the law would take effect in November.

The Republican lawmaker — who previously proposed creating a Bigfoot hunting season in the state — did not expand on the definition of furry-esque behavior or what kind of animalistic mannerisms or dress would get a kid kicked out of the classroom.

Humphrey did not immediately respond to The Post’s request for comment.

Although the bill itself doesn’t include a goal or reasoning for its existence, Humphrey previously said it was to deter children from identifying as animals.

“People are going to call me insane for running this bill. Hell, I’d say they’re insane,” he said in a video.

State Rep. Justin Humphrey called for sending furries “to the pound.” X/@paytonnmay

“If you got an animal coming to school: how about we get them vaccinated? How about we get them neutered and how about we send them to the pound?”

The Republican seemingly pointed to a bogus rumor that a Michigan school district was providing litter boxes for students who identified as “furries.”

The story was swiftly debunked as a tall tale last year.

“I don’t want to see some kid go into the bathroom in a litter box, in the kitty litter. Those people up bear have lost their mind letting these people pretend to be animals in the classroom,” he continued in his rant about a fake story.

“If they’re gonna be animals. Let’s send them to the pound, let’s send them home. How do you teach a cat math?”

There are an estimated 250,000 people in the US who identify as “furries,” a subculture whose members enjoy dressing up as cartoonish animals, sometimes as a sexual fetish but more often as a fun escape. _________________

Someone really wanted their name in the news, I can't wait for the protest outside his office to happen.

It'll be nuts

[toomany-fandomsatonce]

I am insane so here is my list of nicknames for Tobias Forge. Please give me suggestions for ones I can add.

Tax Fraud

Toblerone Fudge

Toad Frog

Taco Friday

Tutti Fruitti

Toe Fungus

Tooth Fairy

Talking Flemish

Tall Flesh

Toxic Flowers

Technology Frogs

Turbulent Freckles

Thick Face

Tender Fucker

Thigh Floor

Titty Fungus

Tornados Fiddle

Truculent Fig

Territory Fire

Tickly Fractions

Tummy Fights

Teenage Frenchman

Tail Fucker

Tea Finder

Toe Friends

Tag Fights

Tub Fire

Top Front

Tiktok Fuckboy

Tumbling Fuck

Tooth Frog

Tiny Feret

Tumblr Fanboys

Today Federal

Trying Format

Type Formal

Trail Font

Terrorists Fingers

Tale Foreskin

Tuesday Fries

Thursday February

Tutorial Fungi

Tight Fit

Tranquil Form

Ten Feet

Tool Fangs

Trowel Food

Tower Flow

Took Forever

Treatment Favourite

Tormented Faculties

Torture Factory

Tartan Flag

Tingly Function

Twins Fox

Twat Fertility

Turnip Fabric

Tudor Fashion

Train Footage

Take Friendship

Thanks Fan

Telling Friendliness

Terrain Fun

Terror Fin

Told Fool

Toggle Flannel

Trousers Flem

Terzo's Family

Time Flies

Then Filtered

Twig Found

Tiger Fear

T-rex Fringes

Tween False

Twitter Facebook

Titanium Fewer

Taxidermy Frontier

Toepiss Frugal

Topic Feature

Topless Features

Tuned Facial

Tank France

Thanks Finland

Terms Failed

Tickletoes Football

Transparent Fluff

Transgender Federal

Translate Free

Teal Feat

Turquoise Foggy

The Federation

There Following

Teeth Floppy

Troubled Financial

Tobussy Fun

Tobacco Fungal-biologist

Tiebreaker Fluid

Toebeans Flattering

Tyrannosaurus Fillings

Tuna Follicle

Thalerophagous Family-Disturbance

Toyota Ford

[barovianchickenandwaffles]

Barovian Tales: Elven Knights and Summer Misery

So, there I was one quiet Tuesday, wondering if business would pick up when I got a letter.

Usually such letters are bills, notice of collections, lawsuits, or (gulp) a summons to Castle Ravenloft. But this was different. It was a letter from the Dusk Elves of Vallaki.

Dear “Uncle” Oleksii,

We hope this letter finds you well, and that business is good. (Ha, if they only knew) We request your presence at our community as soon as possible. Please cookingware and ingredients, and be prepared for some cooking.

We believe you will find this worth your time.

Warm regards,

Tharivol Moonglow

Huh. Now that’s something. Elves, for some reason, tend not to like my cuisine no matter how much lard I bake into it. They prefer “healthier food” with “more vegetables”.

Further, my short-lived business venture in Sithicus went down in flames (literally) when Elven rebels there rose up in revolt.

So, why now?

Well, a business opportunity is a business opportunity. I packed my gear and set out.

The trip to Vallaki was miserable and creepy.

First, that weird, faceless creature that haunts the outskirts of the village, and sings in a warbly voice, followed me silently for an hour outside town. Shudder.

Then, the old hags selling dream pies had a lemonade stand by the road. I knew better than to consume their wares, but then they insisted I listen to their business presentation. They wanted to sell me membership in a “Vacation Club” with time-allocated property in Kartakas. No thank you. I may have a 4th grade education but I ain’t that dumb.

Thankfully, I didn’t even have to go into Vallaki proper, just the outskirts. Too many bad memories after my betrothed was eaten by an enormous frog monster there.

I pulled my donkey wagon to the elf village just south. It’s about the closest thing to a lovely spot in Barovia (which is saying a lot) and it’s a shame I don’t come more often.

As I approached a tall, thin elf was waiting for me. This must be Tharivol Moonglow.

“Greetings Master Oleksii, and welcome,” he said in a falsetto voice, “please leave your cart here and follow me up the hill.”

I did as requested and we strode up toward the center of the village. “Your timing was impeccable.”

“Oh?” I said, suddenly getting a bad feeling.

There I saw the elf houses arranged in a ring around a common grounds in the middle. At the grounds were two sets of tables, and a makeshift hearth for cooking.

And there, smiling at me smugly was none other than Vlad, owner of Barovian Wieners and Pancakes, my rival.

“Hello Oleksii,” he said.

“Hello Vlad,” I grumbled.

“And hello to both you losers,” said a voice that sent chills down my spine.

I turned and saw him: Rahadin, the right-hand of the Devil Strahd.

“Look if this is about that kickback I sent you last week, I had no idea those coins were slugs. Honest.”

Rahadin chuckled, “we’ll discuss that later,” he said.

I couldn’t hear half of what he said over the creepy aura of screaming voices around him, but as far as I could figure, Rahadin invited us both for a cook-off. Elves don’t usually eat fried chicken, wieners, or hotcakes. Instead, we’d be asked to cook three dishes based on a random selection of ingredients, and the Dusk Elves would be the judges. The winner would have a charter, signed by Strahd himself, to open a shop in Vallaki. Not bad for business.

The ingredients were:

An assortment of vegetables from the Elves

Wheat flour

Salt

Eggs

Spice from some faraway land that smelled of curry.

Dried noodles from another land

Finally, a slab of 100% all-Barovian “mystery meat”

We were given 1 hour to come up with three dishes.

“May the best chef win… me,” taunted Vlad.

“If it turns out anything like your food, I’ll be in Vallaki in no time,” I shot back.

“Yeah, well, in your dreams Oleksii.”

Nice comeback, Vlad.

I stood at my grill and noticed a large glass vial with some kind of oily fluid in it with the words “Vegetable” and “Oil”.

I yelled over to the judges, “is this some kind of joke? Vegetable … oil?”

You haven’t seen a facepalm until you’ve seen an elven facepalm. Better yet, an entire panel of them.

It was a fast, intense hour. I poured my heart and, er, “soul” into my cooking, using my years of experience. My Babusya would have been slightly proud of me. She might have even nodded in acknowledgement.

When at last time was up, we stepped back and offered our dishes to the judges. Vlad was first. He presented some dishes I hadn’t seen before and I was bewildered. Where did he learn to cook such things. The judges chewed thoughtfully, but it was hard to read their faces.

Next was my turn. I lifted the cover on my dishes and was greeted by a gasp from the judges.

“You cooked … waffles … and fried chicken?” inquired Rahadin. To be honest, all I heard was:

(Scream, mumbles) cooked (more screams and mumbles) fried (screams)?”

“Yes?”

“Out of all the ingredients?” said a similarly stunned Tharivol.

“Um, yeah, wasn’t that I was supposed to do?”

I made cabbage waffles with deep-fried mystery meat, dried curry noddle waffles with fried mystery meat, and deep fried turnip waffles with fried mystery meat.

I know, like, 2 recipes only.

Three days later I was back in Barovia without a charter. I got bonus points for somehow converting dried noodles into waffles, but otherwise no win.

Further I managed to ruin the mood of the contest after making a passing joke about needing some lady elves around there to pretty up a “batchelor pad” like their village. Awkward.

When I came back, I learned that Rahadin and his goons had been around and filled my entire office, from floor to ceiling, with metal slugs as “payback”, and my lockbox had been broken into. That’d cost me about three weeks worth of earnings, never mind how long it would take to clean out the office.

Later, I found out that Vlad’s new restaurant went under after some customers were eaten by an enormous frog monster, and the rest were flogged by Baron Vallakovich for not being happy about it.

I sipped my bitter, bland Barovian Chicken and Waffles-brand coffee as I looked out the window thoughtfully.

Just another week in Barovia.

The End

p.s. thanks for all the positive feedback on the last story. It is appreciated. Also check out an older story I wrote last year.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Tuesday, July 2

Ken: Well, don't you look nice? Lily: I guess. Ken: Well, you don't want to wear your own outfit to the cleansing. It'll get soaked. Lily: A cleansing is like a baptism? Right? Ken: Not quite the same. Lily: Will I see Rickie after? Ken: Oh, of course. He's waiting for you. He's very excited.

~~Buffy Episode #35: "Anne"~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Not on my Watch (Buffy, T) by veronyxk84

Dirty Him Up (Spike, M, Teen Wolf xover) by skargasm

Blame the candy Ch. 1/12 (Buffy/Giles, M) by Rippertish

Carpark fun (Faith/Giles, E) by Rippertish

The Tall Grass (Buffy/Spike, T) by Swoonz13

Dream of You (Spike/Reader, E) by itsalwaysteatimeinwonderland

Like A Feather, Chapter 7 (Buffy/Spike, T) by Willow25

Stygian Nights (Buffy/Spike, T) by JamesMFan

Tale as Old as Time, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, E) by honeygirl51885

Stranger in her Body, Chapter 7 (Buffy/Spike, ) by Desicat

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The Boyfriend Swap, Chapter 23 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Maxine Eden

Buffy Summers and the Major Case of the Wiggins, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Soulburnt

The Neighbor's Point of View, Chapter 118 (Buffy/Spike, G) by the_big_bad

Buffy's Spooky Birthday, Chapter 10 (Buffy/Spike, ) by VeroNyxK84

Blood and Fame, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Desicat

Buffy 2.0 Ch. 18 (Buffy, M) by BlueZeroZeroOne

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Video: Wesley Wyndam-Pryce | Refuge () by Jess Wilson

[Reviews & Recaps]

Mothman’s Buffy Rewatch: Season 3, episode 13, “The Zeppo” by mothmans-wedding-photographer

PODCAST: BTVS 519 - Tough Love by Another Buffy Podcast

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Spuffy Fic Recs — May/June by [personal profile] veronyxk84

“is there a meaningful distinction between a vampire and the human being who was sired to create them?” by coraniaid

I love Buffy the show, I truly do. But there a lot of ew... by there-are-many-ways-to-smile

I feel like season 7 Buffy they truly forget that if Buffy dies, that’s it. by there-are-many-ways-to-smile

faith says to buffy “give us a kiss” right as they’re about to fight by lesbianmarrow

Buffy and the “Not like other girls” Trope by ronnieroan

it’s been like 20 years but i still can’t believe the super complex plan to raise buffy from the dead did not include digging up her grave first. by aphony-cree, gestaltthing

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Joyce? Hush... by LJ_Ink138

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Buffy idea for S6 forwards by prythillyrian

"little sis" just got this! Creeeepy by sKullsHavezzz

Cecily Addams by Consistent_Career940

james marsters has the talent to have impeccable chemistry with anyone man. by Redditor_Moni

Every other show is doing this, figured Buffy should too by Kindly-Accident8437

Wait what? Is James Marsters’ middle name really Wesley? Is this where they got the character’s name by Heart_Throb_

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What episode do you never rewatch? by Whatwasithinking79

Times the music factor in a scene really made the moment for you? by InfiniteMehdiLove

Can a fairly mature 10 year old watch Buffy? by LegitimateGoal6309

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Is “Close Your Eyes” Buffy/Angel love theme the best original score from this show? by Lobothehobosexual

I just watched Flooded again and… by BrianTheReckless

Why does the council take a slayers powers away when they’ve literally only been trained by Gothamstreetcat

Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Unaired Pilot 1996 by DisgruntledPelican41

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[rocketmorrie]

I am being subjected to what i think may be the anomen romance path in bg2 and i must say it is rather odd and kind of irritating.

Like the man is supposed to be a blowhard who brags about his alleged achievements, at least at this point in the story, and the game gives charname the opportunity to call him out.

These call outs, however, are always doubting his achievements instead of calling out his “achievements” as mundane or trivial as they truly are

It’s like the writers forgot that charname is the sheltered child of a literal murder god who left home and promptly started whacking ogrillons and such with a rusty stick as if that was normal. Killing 20 giants over the course of a summer isn’t a tall tale to them, it’s what she does on Tuesdays. The devs seemed to have forgotten she’s a badass.

Hopefully it gets better as his character arc goes on, i didn’t even know i was in this romance tbh

May be tainted by my iwd run, tho, im psure that party does in fact kill over 20 giants in a cave at one point