#talking abt how unfair it was
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Holding back from making any expressions mid class oh my god empanada why couldn’t you just stay at homeeee 😭
#qsmp#ik there’s a lot of discourse rn#talking abt how unfair it was#however I feel like this was bound to happen anyway?#like obvi it still sucks but I feel like an egg was bound to loose a life to these eye workers eventually#I’m not really upset but idk#by that I mean like. I’m not MAD mad#you understand
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It's not so much that I object to this potential blind date boy. I haven't said yes because im NERVOUS and my heart is SORE
#literally so tired of boy drama in my life ngl but i want to give it a shot! but im scared.#that is where we are. sigh#also i knowwww its not technically a rebound (after the not-talking phase of the past little while LOL#dont you love it when u meet someone wonderful who has such an ardent love for God and READS and loves the inklings#and is so kind and warm and lovely. and the talking turns out to be simple friendliness because this boy already has a girlfriend. anyway#i will delete this later i am just frazzled and confused abt my heart#i do not LOVE the lewis boy but it stung and im not fully recovered. is it unfair to go on a blind date#not having moved past the lewis boy disappointment? i feel like such a little kid not knowing how to deal with this
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This chart lists the ranking of each driver’s lap time of 8 races this year. Maybe not precise but it does tell something.
I always have a feeling that some of the f1 drivers are overrated so I made this chart to support my opinion (you can also find it on reddit, this is just another version with former formula 1 drivers’ name highlighted).
See? These former F1 drivers DO NOT HAVE ANY EXTRA ADVANTAGES over non-f1 drivers. Kobayashi is an exception but he has already spent nearly a decade racing in LMP1/Hypercar, and he is only 4th, behind Kevin Estre, Antonio Fuoco and Dries Vanthoor (Laurens unfortunately becomes the second best Vanthoor in this ranking😅).
I’m not saying that Kevin Estre or Antonio Fuoco would be able to challenge the drivers like Max Verstappen or Charles Leclerc in any category any circumstances but I do believe that at least those who retired from or be kicked out of f1 will not be as competitive as people expected.
#yk what i am talking abt#it is unfair to let vettel occupy that seat instead of preining/da costa/lotterer#if porsche takes vettel into account just for marketing I accept#if they are serious……I don’t know how to say#just disappointed
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i'm not saying 'chilchuck did nothing wrong,' but i'm becoming increasingly bothered by the framing that the marriage failed because it was 'only his fault,' when his wife did just up and leave, seemingly without saying anything to him or having a conversation about it?
and i know we don't see anything from Her perspective, so maybe she did try, but the fact that he had no idea anything was wrong, despite being fairly present with her and their daughters is i think pretty indicative that she was probably stewing with her frustrations in silence for a long time... like, i'm not pinning the blame on her, but leaving your spouse without saying anything is also not great? especially if it's some sort of 'test'?
like, i think they both Kind Of Messed Up and now there's a stalemate where they're upset, and chilchuck is afraid to make the next move because he doesn't want to upset her further, but the longer he waits, the more frustrated she gets... and so it continues
also, dunmeshi spends SO much time focusing on how we often unintentionally hurt our loved ones, but how there's almost always ways to move past it and grow, so it feels very strange to me when people insist that there's no reason for them to get back together. like if you don't want them to, that's fine! but insisting that there's no way to repair their relationship, or that it's only one person's fault, or that it's unhealthy or whatever... idk, but it doesn't sit right w me.
#this isnt even from like 'a shipping perspective' idk i just feel like some of the Bad Husband Stuff is being#framed like... how good u r at emotional vulnerability means you 'deserve/dont deserve' to be in a happy relationship? idk how to phrase i#gsjdgdjdh WHO is gonna write that 30k chilwife separation fic exploring their marital issues? please dont say me#like god wouldnt it be interesting if she left him bc she percieved him as being 'too emotionally distant' (which is NOT an unfair criticis#lmfao ive even talked abt it before wrt gender) ... but was ALSO BEING EMOTIONALLY DISTANT?#is it not interesting the way this sort of created a self-fulfilling prophesy ? where her frustrations with him only led her to withdraw#further from him which only made him EVEN MORE distant especially as he get busier w work which made her More frustrated etc etc....#L.txt#dungeon meshi#chilposting
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forgot how much I love evolutionary biology. like woah. the creatures
#I was on the phone w my dad once and smth abt convergent evolution came up#and he goes 'if you start talking about carcinisation again I'm hanging up' 😭😭😭#sorry I can't help it. much like how many crustaceans cannot help but become a crab 🤔#if I was going to get a degree in anything it would be evolutionary biology. I love you mutation and adaptation#my coworker was telling me the other day abt how scientists just discovered the first colony of primarily carnivorous squirrels#which is already crazy but like#do you know what turning to a largely meat based diet does to a creature?#so unfair that I can't live for hundreds or thousands of years to witness squirrel evolution#anyway. woah#ghost posts#text
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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i hate astrology stuff too but i think this show sometimes misses that the belief systems of different planets aren't usually the problem. the governments based on belief systems are.
#TO tag#just all the... 'you guys are an advanced civilization you cant possibly believe this stuff!!!!!!1!1!' talk#it isn't about belief it is clearly a method of scapegoating and false order Because of it being a governmental tool#if it were just individuals finding meaning in it harmlessly then... the advance civ thing doesn't contradict that#it's stupid to base an entire gov system off of it without evidence but it's not stupid for individuals to find meaning in spirituality#that argument abt being advanced is meant to try getting through to those people because it's a dire situation but#it was a similar thing last episode with trying to get through to teleya#where... again! dire circumstances! and careful wording about how usually when species to go space they become less rigid#in a species-centric religion but instead the krill went into it harder#and that was moreover about the xenophobia issues than religion#i don't think the show has so far dismissed the importance of belief outright#BUT it keeps going right up to the edge and even as someone who isn't religious i am gritting my teeth waiting for#some church of the flying spaghetti monster reddit atheist bro takes#and i just really hope it keeps giving plausible deniability of being on the other side of that#anyway maybe none of this matters bc the belief systems in question are methods of categorization and superiority and hierarchy#based on things that cannot be helped like species or birthdate and that's unfair and clearly results in fucked up stuff#and can very much be harmful on that individual level too#i just wonder if this show has ever done belief systems in a positive light in conjunction with showing how they can be harmful#anyway. something about ed playign god here with the star thing. i dont have the braincells to think more on this.
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……
i…………feel bad about………something. the same thing as earlier. ugghh I hate how much this bugs me
#and i keep making my brain into a hash re how specific I can be about this without making it worse by slash Being A Bully by talking abt it#so this post will stay comically unspecific. (once again: must note the person bothering me is not anyone reading this.) but.#man. i wish i could count on more people to be like ‘yeah screw em!!!’ about stuff on my behalf when someone has got on my bad side#i sort of ruin that for myself by introducing everyone to everyone else#so no one is going to go ‘ugh I hate this faceless person who is stressing out my friend Ebil’ for me#because I haven’t left people faceless to them#it feels like a punishment for always trying to help folks meet new people? lol#feels unfair as fuck. if I didnt do that for ppl then it’d be way easier for me to get away from folks who bothered me#but of course im the one being unfair
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#fromaryg: rara#HAHAHAHA#bro thought she was sherlock#me n my moot once talked abt how angsty would it be if like if haru liked me but baji got me first#then baji dies and i still love him v much and haru tries to make a move but i'll never say yes bc it's unfair to him#this is why im not a fan of love triangles bro#in another universe they can each have me without having to hurt the other HAHAAH#my ipad about to be fully charged#i'll get back to drawing now lmao
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the thing is that sex doesn’t scare me but bodies do which is unfortunately commonly considered an integral part of sex
#it’s late & i might be sick & i took nyquil several hours ago someone should take my posting rights away#that said. i think this is sort of the crux of said issues#the unfortunate part abt bodies is that there is no existence that does not give me some measure of dysphoria. which is a miserable & unfair#- way to live. not only in regards to myself but also it’s unfair to the people who i love and am attracted to#really cool how i have worked so hard to not internalize transphobic ideas abt what a person needs to look/feel like & i am still here.#i fear this may never get better ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#at least there r freaks out there who understand that sex doesn’t actually need to involve ur body much but i cannot find them#ted talks#minors dni
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huh
#im really happy that i have a friend who i can talk with for hours and still have something to say abt the future here#it feels unfair to unload everything on my best friend all the time#who lives in a different country#i went on a 2.5h walk w a friend today plus we got a scalp treatment to celebrate her bday and we talked about everything#abt me applying to law school and her applying to programs for teaching abroad#abt me being ineligible for soooo many equity programs bc my shit is invisible#abt creeps coming into my streams and asking for 'pics'#abt how even if u are eligible for equity programs there is often guilt attached to the application bc someone else always has it worse#i think she is smarter than me <3#im not the best at saying what is on my mind and sometimes it comes out wrong but she will word my thoughts well for me#feels very in sync#im sad that we will both leave the country around the same time and prob wont see each other again after that but happy that we have things#that are happening in our futures#im excited to see where she will go#and me as well#thinking a lot abt my future lately#rant in tags
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this is like, kind of petty but it annoys me a bit when people say okuni got hate for no reason bc im relatively certain people only really got annoyed with her AFTER it became pretty clear that theyd gone and put 3 male npcs (and at the time it looked like there might have been 4) in her event in a year that had only had 3 male units released. people had already been getting angry with the previous event and jacques it really wasnt anything to do with her personally so much as it was pushback over the incredibly one sided catering to only one demographic that played the game. like yeah, not all of the ways that was then expressed was appropriate but when talking about it after the fact its kind of annoying to act like her criticism happened in a complete vacuum with no external factors
#it feels like pushback against people who were talking abt the disrespect that the game has for any player who isnt a specific type of guy#like 'how dare you be frustrated that the game is unfair'#and yes ik girls etc also like her this is abt the fact most of that years units were tailored to the straight man gatcha demographic#so if you as a women/etc happened to enjoy a character it wasnt typically intentional on the dev teams part#and i think people were allowed to be frustrated abt that....?#and atp ive 100% seen more people complaining abt the complaining than ive seen actual complaining abt her like???
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Watching the Brawn docu has me wanting to reach through the screen to choke out Christian and Montezemolo
#like i feel like obv theyre probably being dramatic for the sake of the docu#but at the same point it rly feels like they still hold a grudge#and im not one of those people who decrys the rb19 as being illegal or whatever#but my god for someone's car who gets accused of being illegal a lot christian youre sure talking a load of shit#like ik hes talking abt his standpoint from back then but atp in his career after all hes been thru#should he not be admiring them?????#as i said in my other tags:#wah wah angry bcs another team found a loophole in the loophole sport???#i love tho brundle is like talking abt how he loves how teams exploit and bypass the rulebook#like to be the rulebook is like...you read it in depth so you can see what you can get away with#and obv the other teams will be annoyed but at the same time i feel like id be lowkey congratulatory like wow nice loophole!!#and also the rb5 was pretty good imo and just needed time and got bludgeoned by the brawn#meanwhile the ferrari of this ssn is basically like the ferrari of well this season#like ferrari and mclaren in 2009 basically had thw same situation as this yr#start out shit and then developed enough along the season to get podiums and wins#like rbr somewhat has a point bcs imo theyd def be the top team if not for brawn's double diffuser#so i get that yknow. but ferrari was just straight up trash and cant put up w the fact that they made a shit car#also 2009 KERS is SOOOOOOO much more broken and unfair than the DD imo!!!#like ex. Fisi totally should have won Spa but Kimi got him literally just bcs of KERS#but god yeah anyways these fucking politics ny god....the one thing max moseley did right was to accept the Brawn hahaha#why am i getting pissed at 14 year old drama LMFAO#fuck i am so happy for Brawn i think it would truly be the most unfair thing in the entire sport if they had screwed them over#i reallt just think the other teams were eternally salty because they voted to get Brawn into the sport#and then get pissy when Brawn is actually fucking fantastic#like they just expected them to be trash and then got pissed when they werent backmarkers its so dumb#ANYWAYS THEYRE NOW TALKING ABOUT CHINA 2009 MY FUCKING BELOVED SEBMARKSON!!!!!!!!#^ but speaking of that. so funny that christian was a total whiny bitch at the FIA meeting btwn Malaysia and China#talking abt how unfsir the decision was and then WENT ON TO WIN THE VERY NEXT RACE LIKE BRUH STFFUUUUUU#catie.rambling.txt
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sometimes I talk to my dad abt controversial things and/or literally give my opinion and he responds and I'm just like 'yeah no you're why people dont like me'
#me sayjng that I dont agree with his opinion but sure you can think his way but heres why i dont agree and him going 'yes no ofcourse you're#right because you're always right and never open for different opinions and not nuanced and and and' in the most sarcastic way and I'm just#standing there like '??? I ended my piece saying y ur opinion could also be right wtf' and he is like 'no im sure because i know these#kinda things' and me and my mom ask for evidence and he gets mad bc no he knows this obviously he just knows this#and then 5 minutes later he goes (non sarcastically) 'yea kyle can do anything' and then when i respond w 'ye sure' he gets mad#bc he sees it as me not being able to take a compliment#SIR I CAN IN FACT NOT DO ANYTHING U LIT TOLD ME I'M BLATENTLY WRONG AND MY OPINION IS WRONG 5 MINUTES AGO#stop telling me I'm perfect AT EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME PLEASE#anyway slay i dont like him as a man and yet he makes me feel like im not allowed to#and shames me when i make it clear I dont like being around him as much#anyway hes a sucky sucky man a lot of the time and atp I'm like 90% sure hes a narcissist but idk enough abt it#anyway fat slay#I'm literally never coming out to him as trans bte bc when one of his closest friends came out as a women and said she was going to#transition he saw it as unfair to HIM because its hard for HIM to lose a friend and he didn't know how to deal with that so she was a bad#friend for doing that. also I'm his favourite little girl to this day like sir....im a 24 yr old whos not called themselves a woman in like#6 yrs please catch on#god so much to talk abt w/him thats to much I'm not gonna trauma dump#anyway he sucks#he just can't seem to grab onto me thinking he sucks
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sometimes it makes me really annoyed how fast the male characters in genshin become favoured by fans lmfao it’s so unfair 😭
#male character has a sad past: fans make intricate soulful art and fanfics abt them for years#female character has sad past: fans are like awwwwww:( and then forget abt them#like i can GUARANTEE u kaveh will have content created for him even months and months after his release#shenhe content after her story quest??? crickets. silence.#i would even argue that shenhe’s story was WAAAAAAAY sadder and heartbreaking but 🙄#idk it’s just so unfair that ppl aren’t as interested in women like ik this has been a pattern for YEARS and likely will never change but#it fills me w so much rage#women are always better they’re always more interesting GRRRRR#i feel like the reason i hate kaveh so much is because how unfairly he is loved by fans compared to other characters 😭#everytime i look at him i am simply reminded of colourism and another missed chance for a sickass design#i’ll literally never be over how much sumeru broke my heart lol it was actually so gutting 😭👍 i didn’t realise the colourism was gonna be#THAT bad and i didnt realise the fans were THAT colourist racist AND stupid#truly will never forget the ‘they’re in the forest where there’s no sun so they’re all white as fuck’ argument#can u believe that was real#anyways . anyways#ik everyone is sick of me talking abt this LOL it just rly annoys me because i liked this game sm before 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 and the fans r#everywhere so i get spammed w content of characters i Do Not Want To See 😭
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i said i wouldn’t do it this time but it’s 3am and mods asleep. boy
#welcome to another episode of Luke is insane abt hockey boy!#this time featuring a guy who is actually this time almost (ALMOST) confirmed to be queer#the almost is partly me being insane because I don’t trust anything anymore#but like. there are only so many reasons you wear pride converse. that is not ally behaviour#it just threw me this time I think bc I’d been like no. heterosexual. bc I think I became aware of him when he joined the real hockey team#because the OTHER problem is that the whole time I’d been thinking he was cute as hell (bc he is) and simultaneously being like no. bad.#anyway this meant that I have actually talked to him a bunch without overthinking it this term which honestly has been very cool#not like a whole lot but we’ve played together a decent amount and hopefully will keep doing that#and yesterday discovered hes recommending other people talk to me abt goalieing which is insane to me bc I am truly not that good#but apparently I made an impression!#anyway it does not help that this guy has gotten incredibly good at hockey in the past few months#idk man I make bad decisions (I say as if this was a decision) bc it is now the end of term once again <3#which means absolutely nothing can or will happen until after summer. which isn’t an issue#I’m just frustrated by my tendency to realise these things right before I’m about to not see the guy for X period of time#I also desperately need to stop crushing on hockey boys I swear but in my defence that is the main way I meet people#I think I’m cursed actually. that would explain many things#anyway he also has exams until next Tuesday which means he’ll be at hockey next week but idk abt this week which is devastating#i just wanna have talk to the guy more honestly to see how that goes bc we’ve not rlly talked individually for an extended time yknow.#in other words we have not had A Conversation it’s been groups or like quicker exchanges#he’s kinda quiet but i can’t quite tell which way yknow. I know he’s Watching basically all the time. and he is slightly awkward#which is also kinda cute. he gets a lil rambly when he talks abt hockey and I wanna push that button more#i. topsy if you’re reading this you’re gonna laugh so hard I just realised. he’s captain of the team now.#which sidenote is INSANE bc he started playing with them THIS YEAR#but oh my god. okay.#anyway. I need to start complimenting guys more for multiple reasons but also#1. he dresses very cool 2. he caught me looking at his shirt last week without saying anything (BEFORE I caught the rainbow converse)#i compliment women on their clothes and jewellery and hair and shit all the time but I do not with men bc. I mean do I need to explain.#but this is so unfair I am haunted by existence of boy and here we are once again. posting on tumblr with the possibility of seeing him lik#two more times before summer. might be three or four depending on what he comes to#luke.txt
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