#talking about mental health
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meraki24601 · 1 year ago
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Not Sick: Part 8
Whumptober day 13. This is the last part! I hope you enjoy. Prompt: “I don’t feel so good.”
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7
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Whumpee woke to a heavy weight holding them down. The pressure made it hard for them to breathe. Struggling to shrug off the final fingers of sleep gripping their mind, Whumpee fought to stay calm. Despite their best efforts, their heart rate continued to rise. Their eyes popped open, and their muscles tensed.
At some point, while they slept, Whumpee had pulled Caretaker on top of them.
They really should have expected this. Whumpee often woke with pillows or wadded-up blankets in their arms. Hopefully, they wouldn’t get Caretaker sick. They had worn a mask to bed, which was part of their breathing trouble when they woke, but Caretaker was already weak from their session with Whumper. 
Trying hard not to wake their sleeping friend, Whumpee twisted to lay Caretaker on the bed beside them. Caretaker flinched in Whumpee’s arms. Whumpee paused, watching their gentle face scrunch into an almost pained expression. As they relaxed, Whumpee shifted again. This time, Caretaker let out a low moan. Their muscles twitched. Brow furrowed with no sign of relaxing. It was worrying. 
Moaning again, Caretaker twisted their fist into Whumpee’s shirt. Their eyes moved under their eyelids, following things Whumpee couldn’t see. “Don’t… Don’t. Don’t. Please, take me.”
Now Whumpee understood. “Wake up. Caretaker, wake up. It’s just a dream. You’re alright. You’re safe now.”
Whumpee was almost impressed with how hard Caretaker flinched as their eyes opened. They would have said as much if the motion hadn’t slammed Caretaker down on Whumpee and knocked the wind out of them. 
“Whumpee? Oh no. Whumpee, I’m so sorry. I should have known this would happen. I’ve always been a cuddler in my sleep. I’m really, really sorry.”
“It’s alright! Don’t worry about it, Caretaker. I’m the same way.” Caretaker slid to the side, and Whumpee was finally able to take a full breath. “I’m sorry for waking you. It seemed like you were having a nightmare.”
Caretaker ducked their head, “Don’t worry about it. I needed to wake up and change my bandages anyway.” They pressed their hand against Whumpee’s forehead. “I think your fever finally broke. How are you feeling?”
“I don’t want to talk about that. Can you tell me what you were dreaming about?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fine. I don’t feel good at all. Every muscle in my body aches. I think if I tried to stand, I would puke, and my head and throat are throbbing. Now, were you dreaming about Whumper?”
“That’s not fair.”
“Look, if anyone is going to understand what you may or may not be feeling right now, it’s me. You don’t have to talk about it, but I want you to know you can. I know I haven’t built a reputation of being the best at listening, but please, I want you to come to me if you ever feel scared or angry or hurt or anything at all.”
Caretaker giggled. “Don’t want me to pick up any bad coping mechanisms?”
Whumpee shrugged, “If you do, I know what that’s like too.”
Instead of answering, Caretaker buried their head in Whumpee’s chest. After a comfortable moment, their head whipped up, eyes wide, “Wait. I’m so sorry, is this okay? I didn’t mean to just throw myself on you again. It’s just before you said-” 
“It’s okay if it’s you.” Whumpee pushed Caretaker’s head back onto their chest, careful of their injuries. “I meant it then, I mean it now.”
“Why?”
“You’re safe.” Whumpee rested their chin gently on top of Caretaker’s head. “I didn’t know it at first. When I was rescued, nothing felt safe. I don’t know when things changed, but they did. Maybe, one day, I’ll be safe for you too.”
“You already are, Whumpee.” Caretaker yawned and snuggled in closer. “Thank you.”
As Caretaker drifted off to sleep, Whumpee petted their hair and whispered. “You saved my life, Caretaker. If all I can do to start making it up to you is to listen to your woes and hold you as you sleep, I promise to listen and hold on until the day we die. You mean more to me than you will ever know.”
"Deal." Caretaker's sleepy voice was barely more than a sigh, "And in return, I'll do the same."
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emotionsofateen · 1 year ago
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Selena Gomez Via Instagram Story May 31st sharing Wondermind’s post of her, Nicola, and Brooklyn speaking about life under the media microscope
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vegetabletaxi · 2 months ago
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this is just a bunch of text and barely a comic sorry, but i really wanted to talk about this stuff even if i don't have the energy to properly draw
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honeypleasejustkillme · 29 days ago
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i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower
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chittychittyyangyang · 2 years ago
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Listen, you should never film strangers in public without their consent, but I swear there need to be fines or something for people who do that shit in some spaces. For example: I had to go to the ER last night, and some jerk filmed a woman who just came in and was clearly having an asthma attack. She immediately got to go back, and he was unhappy about that. Believe me, I get that it sucks having to wait when you're in pain, but you don't get to pick who deserves care when. The medical system in the US is a nightmare, and the ER could be the worst moment of someone's life. No one deserves to be recorded because some jack ass believes someone doesn't look like they need care.
This is fine to reblog. People who film strangers should be shamed if nothing else.
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slfcare · 6 months ago
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be critical of yourself in a way that lifts you up, which means: catch yourself when you're thinking mean things about yourself / correct yourself when you're imagining what negative opinions others might have about you / encourage yourself to do better next time in a gentler and more optimistic way / never strive for more without acknowledging how far you have already come. it's okay to be nice to yourself.
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21stc3nturyd1gitalb0y · 3 months ago
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a lot of you got a kick out of my service dog’s battle jacket, so i thought i’d share some more pictures of the man himself.
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i know people have a lot of stereotypes about what service dogs and their handlers are “supposed” to look like, and it confuses people to see a young, seemingly able bodied punk rocker with a service dog.
but i share this to say, that if you as a disabled person don’t see a life for yourself, you can create one. when i started to realize i was disabled almost 10 years ago, i certainly didn’t imagine this is where i’d be now. in fact, i didn’t even plan to making it to this point.
but a diagnosis doesn’t have to mean the end of the world. sometimes your world is just beginning. some people are of the belief that everything happens for a reason. me, not so much. i’ll never be grateful for the suffering i experienced in this world, but i will always, always be glad i chose to stay in it.
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kindnessoverperfection · 1 year ago
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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xxskyethetiredemoxx · 29 days ago
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Notes game cause I've seen people do it and it looks fun
10 notes: get off tumblr and do my homework
50 notes: brush my teeth every day (I try ok)
100 notes: practise guitar three times a week
200 notes: try and manage my time better so I have free time to do my hobbies and stuff
500 notes: deal with the mess on my bedside table
1,000 notes: look for a paid job (I quite like volunteering though, and like I want to stay there for a while, so yk)
2,000 notes: finish reading a book
5,000 notes: not do sh for three months (yeah no lol)
10,000 notes: maybe talk to my parents about mental health stuff (fuck no)
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knifearo · 7 months ago
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this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...
#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things.#people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time.#but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized.#sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement.#this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex.#and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things#especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love.#our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!!#it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild....#anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that.#silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff.#love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another#same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take#anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that.#kiss kiss (<— lovelessly)#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#talking#aroace#aspec#sex positivity
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emotionsofateen · 2 years ago
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Selena Gomez Via Wondermind’s Instagram telling us what Wondermind makes her feel 🫂 I just wanted to say that Wondermind makes me feel like my feelings are valid
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corpsecoded · 3 months ago
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liiike. there should be an acceptable societal medium of discussing self harm and suicide without it being shamed and seen as either infantilizing the person and taking away their entire sense of safety freedom and autonomy or being viewed as the equivalent of those vent sadcore no one will ever love me posts that are put over anime images on pinterest. why is this something considered controversial
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 26 days ago
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hope you feel better soon!
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I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!
#ask#non mdzs#My health journey has been: Hernia -> acid reflux -> Vocal pain due to aforementioned reflux -> chest infection.#I'm terrified to know what's about to hit me next. Please let it be something kind. PLEASE.#The consequence of living with linguists is that you'll wake up with a wacked up voice -#suddenly you're sitting you down in front of a program called something like Praat having your shimmer and jitter levels calibrated.#They gave me a GRBAS of 33012. I have a fun thing called a pitch break where a whole octave just does not exist.#My vocal pain was bad enough I ended up seeing a speech pathologist and that whole experience was super neat!#I learnt a lot about voice - to be honest I might make a little comic on it after some more research. Fascinating stuff.#For example; your mental perception of our voice modulates the muscles of the vocal folds and larynx.#meaning that when you do have changes (inflammation = more mass = lower frequency)#your brain automatically attempts to correct it to what it 'should sound like'. Leading to a lot more vocal strain and damage!#And it gets really interesting for trans voice care as well - because the mental perception of one's voice isn't based on an existing sampl#So a good chunk of trans voice training is also done with the idea of finding one's voice and retraining the brain to accept it. Neat!#Parkinsonial Voice also has this perception to musculature link! The perception is that they are talking at a loud/normal volume#but the actual voice is quite breathy and weak. So vocal training works on practicing putting more effort into the voice#and retraining the brain to accept the 'loud' voice as 'normal'.#Isn't the human body fascinating?#Anyhow; Now I have vocal exercises and strategies to reduce strain and promote healing.#Which is a lot better than my previous strategy of yelling AAAH in my car until my 'voice smoothed out'.#You can imagine the horror on the speech path's face. I am an informed creature now.#I'm my own little lab rat now. I love learning and researching. Welcome to my tag lab. Class is dismissed.#I'll be back later with a few more answered asks </3 despite everything I'm still going to work and I need the extra sleep.#Thank you for the well wishes! And if you read all of that info dump; thank you for that as well!
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finifugue · 3 months ago
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Listen I know in my head that the Lando puppy interview is mostly because of the PR success Leo Leclerc has had so now every team is on a pet thing but I do think it's HILARIOUS that McLaren went 'oh fuck everyone's saying our driver is severely mentally ill what are we gonna do? I know, let's make him play with puppies!'
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hussyknee · 2 months ago
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Forgive yourself for the way you behaved when you were in pain. You didn't mean to drag your loved ones down with you. You were only thrashing and flailing and trying to not to drown. They didn't leave because you were a bad person. They left because they couldn't save you and had to save themselves. It's not an indictment of either your worth or their love. You didn't ask too much, they just couldn't be what you needed and had to make space for someone who could.
In another life, where you had had the help you deserved, where you had had the space to breathe, where something had been different, it wouldn't have happened. Sometimes, it's all just a consequence of circumstances outside of our control. None of you deserved any of this, and you all get to hurt and grieve and be angry that it all fell out this way. But don't be ashamed that the pain got the best of you. You didn't fall short any more than they did. You just became overwhelmed.
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