#talking about mental health

[meraki24601]

Not Sick: Part 8

Whumptober day 13. This is the last part! I hope you enjoy. Prompt: “I don’t feel so good.”

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

-----------*-***-*-----------

Whumpee woke to a heavy weight holding them down. The pressure made it hard for them to breathe. Struggling to shrug off the final fingers of sleep gripping their mind, Whumpee fought to stay calm. Despite their best efforts, their heart rate continued to rise. Their eyes popped open, and their muscles tensed.

At some point, while they slept, Whumpee had pulled Caretaker on top of them.

They really should have expected this. Whumpee often woke with pillows or wadded-up blankets in their arms. Hopefully, they wouldn’t get Caretaker sick. They had worn a mask to bed, which was part of their breathing trouble when they woke, but Caretaker was already weak from their session with Whumper. 

Trying hard not to wake their sleeping friend, Whumpee twisted to lay Caretaker on the bed beside them. Caretaker flinched in Whumpee’s arms. Whumpee paused, watching their gentle face scrunch into an almost pained expression. As they relaxed, Whumpee shifted again. This time, Caretaker let out a low moan. Their muscles twitched. Brow furrowed with no sign of relaxing. It was worrying. 

Moaning again, Caretaker twisted their fist into Whumpee’s shirt. Their eyes moved under their eyelids, following things Whumpee couldn’t see. “Don’t… Don’t. Don’t. Please, take me.”

Now Whumpee understood. “Wake up. Caretaker, wake up. It’s just a dream. You’re alright. You’re safe now.”

Whumpee was almost impressed with how hard Caretaker flinched as their eyes opened. They would have said as much if the motion hadn’t slammed Caretaker down on Whumpee and knocked the wind out of them. 

“Whumpee? Oh no. Whumpee, I’m so sorry. I should have known this would happen. I’ve always been a cuddler in my sleep. I’m really, really sorry.”

“It’s alright! Don’t worry about it, Caretaker. I’m the same way.” Caretaker slid to the side, and Whumpee was finally able to take a full breath. “I’m sorry for waking you. It seemed like you were having a nightmare.”

Caretaker ducked their head, “Don’t worry about it. I needed to wake up and change my bandages anyway.” They pressed their hand against Whumpee’s forehead. “I think your fever finally broke. How are you feeling?”

“I don’t want to talk about that. Can you tell me what you were dreaming about?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fine. I don’t feel good at all. Every muscle in my body aches. I think if I tried to stand, I would puke, and my head and throat are throbbing. Now, were you dreaming about Whumper?”

“That’s not fair.”

“Look, if anyone is going to understand what you may or may not be feeling right now, it’s me. You don’t have to talk about it, but I want you to know you can. I know I haven’t built a reputation of being the best at listening, but please, I want you to come to me if you ever feel scared or angry or hurt or anything at all.”

Caretaker giggled. “Don’t want me to pick up any bad coping mechanisms?”

Whumpee shrugged, “If you do, I know what that’s like too.”

Instead of answering, Caretaker buried their head in Whumpee’s chest. After a comfortable moment, their head whipped up, eyes wide, “Wait. I’m so sorry, is this okay? I didn’t mean to just throw myself on you again. It’s just before you said-” 

“It’s okay if it’s you.” Whumpee pushed Caretaker’s head back onto their chest, careful of their injuries. “I meant it then, I mean it now.”

“Why?”

“You’re safe.” Whumpee rested their chin gently on top of Caretaker’s head. “I didn’t know it at first. When I was rescued, nothing felt safe. I don’t know when things changed, but they did. Maybe, one day, I’ll be safe for you too.”

“You already are, Whumpee.” Caretaker yawned and snuggled in closer. “Thank you.”

As Caretaker drifted off to sleep, Whumpee petted their hair and whispered. “You saved my life, Caretaker. If all I can do to start making it up to you is to listen to your woes and hold you as you sleep, I promise to listen and hold on until the day we die. You mean more to me than you will ever know.”

"Deal." Caretaker's sleepy voice was barely more than a sigh, "And in return, I'll do the same."

[emotionsofateen]

Selena Gomez Via Instagram Story May 31st sharing Wondermind’s post of her, Nicola, and Brooklyn speaking about life under the media microscope

[vegetabletaxi]

this is just a bunch of text and barely a comic sorry, but i really wanted to talk about this stuff even if i don't have the energy to properly draw

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower

[chittychittyyangyang]

Listen, you should never film strangers in public without their consent, but I swear there need to be fines or something for people who do that shit in some spaces. For example: I had to go to the ER last night, and some jerk filmed a woman who just came in and was clearly having an asthma attack. She immediately got to go back, and he was unhappy about that. Believe me, I get that it sucks having to wait when you're in pain, but you don't get to pick who deserves care when. The medical system in the US is a nightmare, and the ER could be the worst moment of someone's life. No one deserves to be recorded because some jack ass believes someone doesn't look like they need care.

This is fine to reblog. People who film strangers should be shamed if nothing else.

[slfcare]

be critical of yourself in a way that lifts you up, which means: catch yourself when you're thinking mean things about yourself / correct yourself when you're imagining what negative opinions others might have about you / encourage yourself to do better next time in a gentler and more optimistic way / never strive for more without acknowledging how far you have already come. it's okay to be nice to yourself.

[21stc3nturyd1gitalb0y]

a lot of you got a kick out of my service dog’s battle jacket, so i thought i’d share some more pictures of the man himself.

i know people have a lot of stereotypes about what service dogs and their handlers are “supposed” to look like, and it confuses people to see a young, seemingly able bodied punk rocker with a service dog.

but i share this to say, that if you as a disabled person don’t see a life for yourself, you can create one. when i started to realize i was disabled almost 10 years ago, i certainly didn’t imagine this is where i’d be now. in fact, i didn’t even plan to making it to this point.

but a diagnosis doesn’t have to mean the end of the world. sometimes your world is just beginning. some people are of the belief that everything happens for a reason. me, not so much. i’ll never be grateful for the suffering i experienced in this world, but i will always, always be glad i chose to stay in it.

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

[xxskyethetiredemoxx]

Notes game cause I've seen people do it and it looks fun

10 notes: get off tumblr and do my homework

50 notes: brush my teeth every day (I try ok)

100 notes: practise guitar three times a week

200 notes: try and manage my time better so I have free time to do my hobbies and stuff

500 notes: deal with the mess on my bedside table

1,000 notes: look for a paid job (I quite like volunteering though, and like I want to stay there for a while, so yk)

2,000 notes: finish reading a book

5,000 notes: not do sh for three months (yeah no lol)

10,000 notes: maybe talk to my parents about mental health stuff (fuck no)

[knifearo]

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

[emotionsofateen]

Selena Gomez Via Wondermind’s Instagram telling us what Wondermind makes her feel 🫂 I just wanted to say that Wondermind makes me feel like my feelings are valid

[corpsecoded]

liiike. there should be an acceptable societal medium of discussing self harm and suicide without it being shamed and seen as either infantilizing the person and taking away their entire sense of safety freedom and autonomy or being viewed as the equivalent of those vent sadcore no one will ever love me posts that are put over anime images on pinterest. why is this something considered controversial

[hussyknee]

Forgive yourself for the way you behaved when you were in pain. You didn't mean to drag your loved ones down with you. You were only thrashing and flailing and trying to not to drown. They didn't leave because you were a bad person. They left because they couldn't save you and had to save themselves. It's not an indictment of either your worth or their love. You didn't ask too much, they just couldn't be what you needed and had to make space for someone who could.

In another life, where you had had the help you deserved, where you had had the space to breathe, where something had been different, it wouldn't have happened. Sometimes, it's all just a consequence of circumstances outside of our control. None of you deserved any of this, and you all get to hurt and grieve and be angry that it all fell out this way. But don't be ashamed that the pain got the best of you. You didn't fall short any more than they did. You just became overwhelmed.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

hope you feel better soon!

I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!

[finifugue]

Listen I know in my head that the Lando puppy interview is mostly because of the PR success Leo Leclerc has had so now every team is on a pet thing but I do think it's HILARIOUS that McLaren went 'oh fuck everyone's saying our driver is severely mentally ill what are we gonna do? I know, let's make him play with puppies!'