#talk to me PLS writing is such a lonely hobby

[lialox]

The comments I've been getting on my fic recently have been getting long!! It's loved that much!! Yay! Wheee!! *rolling around* yay!!!!

[hwavsg4ch4n]

I'll Protect You || L.K

tags/warnings: afab!reader, bodyguard!Minho, royal!au, Princess!reader, angst, rough family dynamics, suggestive, forbidden love trope (lol), Minho calls reader "your/my grace", if i missed anything pls message me!!

notes: omg am I posting!? Hi everyoneeee, first off I want to ask how everyone has been~. I haven't been an active writer, that's because I realized I was looking at this as a job rather than a hobby that brings me joy :(, therefore I took a break. Can't say I'm gonna be constant bc thus is a hobby not a job, but I love to write and i'm pretty sure I wont stop! ( I have a lot of things in my drafts) btw, this is lowkey inspired by Bridgeton, but not quite.

Description: Being a royal isn't easy, especially when every choice is made for you. But maybe having a kind guard around isn't so bad.

this is a work of fiction, an alternate universe. The Irl persons are not made to be perceived this way. 18+ content ahead, viewer discretion is advised.

lmk if I should make this into a little series :o

You huffed, picking at the herbs that laid on your pasta as a garnish, tuning out the boring kingdom talk your mother and father indulged in with the rest of the family. The pearly satin gloves on your hands grew uncomfortable as the queen brung your personal life into conversation once more. 

“Y/n will get married soon, I just know it.” You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at your mothers comments. Your father, as always, just had to add salt to the wound. “There are many suitors sending letters to the palace every day, even some from overseas. I don’t understand why you never reply efficiently-” You gave a tight lipped pained smile, not wanting to cause a scene; avoiding trouble.

You didn’t want all these random men, men that only saw your family's wealth. You already had a man you yearned for, one that was different. You look up from the tablecloth, in the doorway of the dining room stood your personal guard; Minho. He wasn’t looking at you, he was on duty. If he looked anywhere but straight he’d be bound to have to skip dinner for a lecture from the head guard. But you didn’t mind that he wasn’t looking at you, it made it easier to stare and get lost in the comfort of your own imagination; daydreaming about how wonderful it would be to run away with the kind man that always made sure you weren’t lonely.

Minho wasn’t always in your life, he only came to serve the royal family a mere 2 years ago. Being assigned as your personal guard didn’t sound exciting at first, just another shackle put around your ankles to prevent you from living the best you could under these circumstances. But as you grew accustomed to his presence, memorizing the scars on Minho’s neck and hands, finding safety in the pure brown of his round eyes, and the soft smile that he often wore on his lips; the one he’d only show you, you didn’t dread being looked over 24/7. He was more than enough for you, enough to make you feel whole in a palace that only offered emptiness.

Before Minho was a royal guard, he was a warrior. He only knew battle, but he didn’t want to fight all the time anymore, he wished for something more calm; so here he is. Yes he was rough around the edges but he got the job done, the king and queen liked him because he seemed to make their princess stop complaining. They didn’t care how he did it, as long as they didn’t have to hear your mouth and watch you themselves. 

As you stared at the man who looked after you, daydreaming of an alternate universe where you could be normal… your mother; the queen, asked your sister-in-law; the dutchess, to make a toast. What for? You didn’t know, but what you did know was envy. You could practically turn the color green as you watched your brother's fond eyes stare up at the woman he loved. He got to marry the woman he loved so purely, why didn’t you get to do the same? He got to pick, choose… yet you have no say.

You cleared your throat after sipping from the dark glass of wine. “Excuse me. Mother, father, may I be excused? The meal doesn’t seem to be sitting right with my stomach.” Your words were respectful but your face held an expression only Minho could read clearly, therefore he shifted on his heels, ready to accompany you.

“You’ve barely touched your food, my grace.” Your sister-in-law meant well, you know she did. But the fact that she can have the life she wishes for while you’re sitting idle with no authority over yourself makes you frown almost every time you see her smile happily. “Yes, well, I seem to have caught a bug. May I be excused, please… your highness?” You offered a tight lipped smile at your mothers unhappy face. The poised woman sipped from her white wine as she shooed you off with a flick of the wrist, but you couldn’t leave the dining room without her having the last words.

“Y/n dear, I want you to know… no matter how much you try to fight it, this is your life. You will eat when I tell you, wear what I want you to, and marry who I wish you to. Is that understood, darling?” Your eyelids fluttered as you fought back tears of frustration, no matter how hard you tried to be perfect, she saw right through you. “You’re dismissed.” 

The maids opened the grand doors, offering you pity glances as you clacked off; struggling to keep your composure as Minho followed closely behind.

He didn’t say anything as you sped walk into the garden, breathing heavily as tears finally flowed down your cheeks. You looked down at your glove clad hands as you stopped in the center of the garden, sniffling as you rushed to rip them off. Throwing them to the rocky pavement as you dug your heel into the glimmering fabric.

“Your grace,” you sighed softly at the sound of his voice, the voice that calmed you whenever this would happen. Minho didn’t seem to know the effect he had on you, or maybe he did and decided to ignore it. Either way his presence always worked.

“It’s cold out, and you have nothing to cover yourself with, shall we go inside?” He asked softly, staring at your back as you looked at the now dirty satin gloves on the cobblestone. You shook your head in disagreement, turning around to be met with Minho’s gentle eyes underneath the moonlight.

“The breeze feels nice, I wish to stay out here for longer. You can go back if you’d like.” Your voice was weak as you sat on a bench, overlooking a small man made lake your brother made for you as an 11th birthday gift. You watched as the koi fish swam carelessly, free. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the irony. 

You know Minho didn’t leave, he wouldn’t leave even if you paid him to. “Why is this my life Minho?” He stayed silent. You looked up at him, his expression neutral, used to having heard this talk from you multiple times.

“Why can’t I marry the one I love? Be happy with him, feel the kind of love my brother and the dutchess have. It’s right at my fingertips, but it’s being ripped away.” Minho raised a brow, this was new. Your rants were always about freedom, not about love.

“… are you in love, my grace?” Minho was surprised. He’s with you every hour of the day, he surely would’ve noticed if you’ve developed a crush on someone. 

You parted your lips, realizing what you’ve just said. The wine has seemingly gotten to you.

You stand up, “I want to go to my room.” You whispered, walking passed the now curious man. Minho swiftly picked up your gloves and handed them to a maid as he followed you inside. 

You dismissed the help as they offered to undress you. “Please just… go to your chambers, I want to be alone.” They all left, except for him. You closed your room doors behind you, sighing. “Would you like me to leave too, your grace?” You rolled your eyes, turning around to face him.

You were tired, tired of pretending, tired of hiding. “Have you ever been in love, Minho?” Your guard frowned, then soon moved in a hurry to help as he saw you trying to take off your jewelry. You sucked in a breath of air as you saw his reflection in the mirror, focused on helping you with your pearls. You fought the urge of closing your eyes as his fingers grazed your skin.

“I have.” He answered shortly, “but she didn’t love me back, I got over it quickly, it was years ago. Honestly, I’ve forgotten until you just brought it up.” He understood you needed a distraction, so he gave it to you, as he always did. Didn’t matter if you asked for a war story and a made up one, whatever you asked of him he’d try to do.

You blinked, staring as he set your pearls down on your vanity, moving to work on your earrings. “What did it feel like?” Your voice came out in a whisper, causing Minho to look in the mirror to see you looking back at him. His heart skipped a beat, seeing the expression of longing on your face was almost too painful for him to see. A sweet girl like you shouldn’t be unhappy, yet here you are, unable to flap your wings like you should be.

“I wish I could tell you the beauty of it, my grace; but all I can tell you is the pain.” Minho said calmly, offering a polite smile to your reflection as he placed one earring down, moving to the next.

“It feels like a breath of fresh air after you’ve been suffocating for years. Like you’ve been lured in by a siren to live in the depths of the sea but finally you’ve been saved, being able To see the sun again.” Minho’s hands paused at your words, looking at you through the mirror once more. A pang in his chest follows as you look at him the way you did during dinner, only this time he notices.

“Your grace…” he whisperers. “It feels of the warm sun in the early summer, when you’re in a meadow surrounded by freshly bloomed daisies and dandelions. You know, when the breeze is just right? It feels… good.” Your small smile soon turns grim, watching as Minho sets the last piece of jewelry down. “It also hurts; like you said.” Minho stood silent, his heart pounding as you turned to face him; peering up into his sparkling eyes. “It hurts when I see that I can’t have you anyway that I want.” Minho’s breath hitched at your confession. “What do you mean… your grace… have me? I don’t seem to follow.”

You smiled painfully, reaching a manicured hand up to hold his cheek; stroking lightly. “I want you the way my brother wants the Dutchess, maybe even more. I don’t care if it’s forbidden… I want you. I want you to hold me, and do what they do in the dramas that my mother makes me turn off whenever they come on.” Your whispers travel across his now heated face.

“You… you’ve had too much to drink.” You scoffed at his stammering, surprising Minho. “No, I know what I said and I mean it. I’m a grown woman Minho, treat me as such.” You frowned, tired of being treated so fragilely.

Minho took your hand off his face, gazing down at you. “… treat you like a woman…” He looked into your eyes as he trailed off, your eyes drifted down to his chest. You nodded, looking back up to see him with parted lips and a frown. “Are you… are you in love with me?” You scoffed, feeling defensive at the possibility of rejection. 

“You can’t question feelings, Minho, it’s something we can’t entirely understand. If you don’t feel the same that’s fine, but don’t try to-” 

“thank you… for loving me.” He whispered. You frowned, “what do you mean?” He chuckled softly, “Thank you, for having feelings for me.” You watched as he bowed, pressing a chase kiss to the back of your hand. You flinched at the warmth of his lips.

“Minho…” he stood up, his hands caressing your cheeks as he moved closer. “This is forbidden, what we’re about to do, you know well that it is. But yet i’d still risk it, your grace. You find me worth the risk, you confessing to me is more than enough reason.” You tilted your head in confusion, “W-what are we about to do, Minho?”  He smiles. “I’m going to make love to you, if that’s ok. I feel as if you deserve it.” He whispers. 

Your cheeks flush, for the first time your eyes want to look anywhere but him. You’ve never done anything intimate with another before. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re obligated to… to touch me.” You whispered, looking down at his lips instead of his eyes that were trying to find yours.

Your lips part as you feel a soft kiss pressed to your forehead, sighing as he then places one at the corner of your mouth. “I’ve been trying to be… respectful, your grace. But must you know, I've been wanting to feel your skin on mine for a while.” You tensed up at his confession. “H-huh?” Your voice was weak, a rush of arousal, heat making its way into your abdomen.

Minho’s thumb traced the outline of your cupid's bow. “Do you know how hard it’s been… hearing you touch yourself late at night, and all I can do is stand outside your door and listen?” Your face grew hot, “Listen to you whisper my name, you probably didn’t even mean too. Did you, your grace?” His voice was soft but that didn’t mean you were any less nervous. “U-uh, I thought I… I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.” Minho chuckled softly at your pity excuse of an alibi.

“You can’t help it, I know. I’m the only one who takes care of you, it’s natural for you to call out to me in times like that. I find it adorable actually, that you need me. Your fingers sliding into your cunt, wishing that it was any part of me doing it instead. Are my assumptions correct, hm?” Minho tilted his head, his fingers grabbing ahold of your chin, making you look at him. It was as if your heart was in your ears by how loud it was currently beating.

“But even though I wasn’t able to help you, you always managed to cum. I know exactly what you sound like when you get there, I memorized it; you sound so fucking sweet, if I could record it I would, your grace.” You took in a deep breath, “Min-”, “What do you imagine that makes you cum every time? Do you imagine that your precious fingers are mine? What about… hm,” you watched in disbelief as he pondered other possibilities. “Ah, my tongue tasting you. Catching every last bit of you, not wasting a drop. Is it that, your grace?” 

You were speechless, your mind blank as all you could feel were his words gliding right through you and straight to your know throbbing core. Imagining the scenarios described to you, like you could feel it.

“Oh, what about this. Do you like thinking about how well I can fuck you? How Just me slipping into you can make all the frustration go away? How I can make your mind blank, your head fuzzy and your legs shake as I fuck you just the way you tell me too. Is that what gets you off, my grace?” You couldn’t help the soft whine that escaped your lips. Minho coos with a knowing grin, his hand traveling from your chin to grip your entire jaw, gently pulling you closer so the tip of your noses are grazing.

“So sweet, pretty, precious, aren’t you?” Your mind grew fuzzy. “Let me serve you, It’s my job; and I love to do my job.”

[ttimecode]

i see you asked for whismur waif... i offer you 1 5 9 13 14 with jayden.... cold boyfie

dude this made me realize i've literally never talked abt jayden. i posted abt him maybe twice and dipped 😭😭 WELCOME BACK COLD BOY

1. what are the basics of your self insert? name, date of birth, height, etc.?

i don't have a last name for jayden oops.... all my s/is dob is same as mine, october 10th (with the exception of reynold bc theres already idv characters that have that bday) also one thing i dont think ppl know is that all my inserts are usually demiboys. either that or just amab ig, whatever fits more 👍 idk how tall jayden would be but... maybe shorter than blake, taller than red? idk the height differences from frostkisses fanart is cute to me

5. does your self insert have any special abilities or skills?

no special abilities except sheer fucking will. for skills ig he'd have any skills a mountain ranger would need? stuff like ice climbing, medical aid, etc. maybe resistance to cold too since. i mean c'mon it's mt. silver HAHAIFJEJ

9. who are your self insert's closest friends?

i gotta remake his team soon but one of the pokemon that just seemed natural that i should keep for him is his houndoom for some reason? she's his best friend ok.... other than that i guess nurse joy since he probably stays at or near the pokecenters for his job. they respect act other's line of work yk.... but now that i think about it, i guess he's kinda lonely up there. huh. interesting

13. does your self insert have any information about their family?

i did have an idea where raiden (s/i for gold (the lost silver one)) was related to jayden but it's not set in stone so. plus the timeline is kinda weird especially for the fnf version of the characters so........ otherwise i haven't really thought abt jayden's family? maybe he writes to them every now and then. maybe he wonders if they miss him or if they're worried about him. but that's the sacrifice he made to take this job, so he can't exactly complain.

(cartridge family pls save him)

14. what hobbies does your self insert have?

i haven't thought much about this but i think it would be funny if he liked cooking. even better if it's baking. maybe he got sick of eating cup noodles or smth and wanted to expand on his skills HAHAHAFJEJFN 😭 maybe smth like sewing too? he'd need that kind of skill for like sewing stitches or for any clothes he tears so it makes sense (why am i turning him into a malewife.......)

[fcllederage-moved]

get to know the author!

name : alix

pronouns : she/they

preference of communication : definitely Discord. Tumblr ims are so broken I need to refresh my page every time I receive a dm so I'm really not counting on them. However, my Discord is only for my mains, for the moment. Ofc, me not relying on Tumblr ims doesn't mean I won't reply.

most active muse : definitely Hyacinthe. She lives rent free in my head ♥ For those who don't know I have a few other muses (Thirteen from Doctor Who, Reaper from Overwatch, Revenant from Apex Legends, Carmina Mora from Dead By Daylight and an SCP original character) but they don't have a lot of plots going on - some even don't - so I can't really feel the motivation to write them for now. I would love to tho.

experience / how many years : got my ass on Tumblr in 2013, when I got in college haha so it's been ten years. It may not be as much as some people on here but I've seen a lot, especially a lot of the bad side and not a lot of the good side of the rp community, to be honest. But writing is my let out so I guess I'm here lol. On top of it all, now I'm blessed with really great people to plot and talk with (big ass shoutout to Ash, Tasha, Coatl and Po)!

best experience : like I said above, being able to meet really great people!

rp pet peeves : definitely people who follow first and never interact. Not to be mean (but I'm French and we're known for being straight-forward), but what the f- are you doing here? I'm an rp blog, nothing else. Plus it makes me feel like I'm being stalked, sometimes for all the wrong reasons. And in general, people who don't respect the basic rp etiquette are massive pet peeves/red flags.

fluff, angst, or smut : pls all of it. I don't have a preference in that regards, maybe out of the three, my least favorite is fluff but when I say that, I mean the fluff without plotting. If we plotted a fluff thread, I'm all for it tbh.

plots or memes : PLOTS. I do love memes as ice breakers but if we're gonna do something on the long run, I absolutely need to plot. Like I keep saying, I need to feel that my partners are just as invested as I am.

long or short replies : ... look 😂 I try writing short threads from time to time but the second I get invested in it, I tend to go overboard and write a lot. Moreover, Cin feels things a thousand times more than most people so I'm gonna have a lot to write lmao

time to write : I don't necessarily have a preferred time. I tend to write better in the morning but I'd rather write when the inspiration and motivation comes, no matter the time. Plus it's a hobby, I don't have a schedule for that lol

are you like your muses : yeah, we do have a few points in common. The way we hide our insecurities in our passion, our art, our over-confidence, how lonely we sometimes feel even in the middle of a crowd, the need to be absolutely perfect. We also both have the same sense of humour, crude humour, dad jokes. That's our shit✌️😎

tagged by: the booest of boos @wynterlanding 💖

tagging: @andynked, @azraelblack, @cxldblxxded, @freak1ish, @godstrayed, @griim, @n-galmurrr, @soulsuckrrs, @therelentless + the rest of the dash ♥

[linawritestwst]

hello!! can i request a twst matchup pls?? ty!! my pronouns are they/them and im intp-t and my zodiac sign is virgo.

my pronouns are they/them and im intp-t and my zodiac sign is virgo. 

my personality: im really shy and kind of awkward when socializing others bcos im not really good interacting with them so i just stay in the sideline where i observe people and their behavior and thats the reason why people depict me as intimidating and hard to approach and also bcos of my stoic expression too but when im with my close friends, im really bubbly and more comfortable with them. im really quite moody sometimes and i also tend to overthink things. i always listen to my friends whenever they're having a problem and just be there for them sometimes pitching in some advice now and then. im also the type of person to run away from their problems and tend to push people away bcos i dont want to burden them, i also laugh at small things, im also the type of person to read a body language very well bcos of my observant nature. i also get insecure with my appearance too 

my hobbies/likes includes writing stories and reading books, poetry composition, learning about stars and outer space, watching horror videos on yt especially analog horror, staying up all night writing down my ideas about my next stories, sleeping, i also have a fascination to ocean and i tend to stare at it, dark academia, i also like abandoned places especially if its haunted, i also love matcha green tea, i also like dark clothes, i like simple baggy sweaters and jeans, i really love a meadow full of lavenders 

my dislikes are loud people including loud places too, vegetables (depends on my mood), worms, hot weather, arrogant people 

what i look for in a partner: someone loyal and kind, will be there for me through thick and thin, someone who i can trust since i have trust issues

i would prefer not to date someone who is a cheater, playboys bcos i really despise those kind of people, secretive, someone who doesnt appreciate me, abusive, toxic in general.

i also prefer not to be match with the first years bcos i only view them in a platonic way but second and third years are okay!! ty!! 🍂💫

YAY I'M A VIRGO AND INTP-T TOO LET'S GO!! and i hope you like your matchup!

the character that i think would be a good partner for you is..

malleus draconia!

i'll explain why i chose him:

you don't have to worry about being "too shy" or anything like that when you're with malleus. you don't have to talk a lot or act in a more extroverted way if you're uncomfortable, but if you're in the mood for that, malleus would love to hear your thoughts and talk more. and oh, people think you're intimidating too? he sure can relate to that. and please, don't think of yourself as a burden to him. don't push him away, you have no idea how happy you actually make him.

malleus would find your observant nature quite interesting as well and he would think that it's amazing how you're capable of noticing the small details that no one else would think about. he finds your interests and hobbies fascinating, you sound like one of the smartest people he's ever met. and hello?? you love abandoned places too?? that's it, most of your dates are going to be you two visiting places like that now. haha, don't worry though, malleus is probably definitely gonna try to come up with something else. also he can be your dark academia bf

malleus would be a very loyal partner, he doesn't want you to feel as lonely and left behind as he feels sometimes. he's still learning how relationships work, so he may ask lilia for advice and he may make mistakes sometimes, for example, he may be a bit clingy since you're so precious to him, but he's willing to grow as a person and learn how to be a better partner for you.

[guavagloss]

my thoughts during each moon transit throughout each sign

moon in aries

- i’m irritated as fuck i’m irritated as fuck i’m irritated as fuck i’m irritated as fuck i’m irritated as fuck i’m irritated as fuck i’m

- i need to rant to someone rn or i’m gonna lose it

- road rage lmao

- wow that was a great workout

- impulse buying <3 and no i’m not thinking about the buyer’s remorse i’m gonna feel after buying myself this thing i don’t need <3

- time management?? idk who that is but they seem nice

- TRY ME i DARE u

moon in taurus

- i’m gonna ___ because i deserve it

- hey guys welcome back to my channel today i’m gonna show u guys my skincare routine <3

- might fuck around and eat three meals today 

- *takes a picture of the sunset*

- why am i on petfinder

- i deserve this nap

moon in gemini

- hiiiiiiii!!! <3

- *switches to bumble bff*

- omg!!! stickers!!!! 

- maybe i can be happy?

- maybe i should go back to therapy?

- idk

- i’m gonna talk to strangers

moon in cancer

- why do i feel the urge to cry??

- i need to cry

- where’s my journal this is tew much luv xx

- wow i’m so emotionally intelligent i’m such an empath

- i wish i had a cat

- i need to go back to therapy lmao

- the moon is so beautiful i love her

moon in leo 

- ONLY BAD BITCHES CAN RELATE TO REAL BAD BITCH SHIT!!!

- what if i vogued right here in front of the self-checkout cameras

- WHY DOESNT ANYONE LOVE ME

- i’m gonna wear this colorful top today

- *switches to bumble dating specifically for attention*

- i’m so hot and powerful

- wow i actually had a good hair day today

moon in virgo

- hmm maybe i’m not as hot and powerful as i thought 

- OVERTHINKING

- wow i should really clean my room

- i had such a great day at work!!

- people watching is so fun

- i’m only mean to u because i love u

- omfg why did i buy that??

moon in libra

- good morning bestie <3 

- how long have i been staring at myself in the mirror for lol

- hey guys welcome back to my channel today i’m gonna be showing you guys my everyday makeup routine <3

- i’m so pretty it’s no wonder everyone is in love with me

- so...there’s this person <3

- nvm

- i’m gonna buy this thing...but in pink <3

- *notices someone talking shit about someone i love* aht AHT!! NOT ON MY WATCH!!

moon in scorpio

- i’m gonna listen to my emo phase playlist

- i wanna cry i wanna scream i wanna curse someone out 

- where is MY JOURNAL

- i like to be fucked like a slut <3 come here zaddy lemme eat it up <3

- wow what a great workout

- (intensity intensifies)

moon in sagittarius

- there is not a man alive who can tell me what to do

- whoa maybe i should tone down on the sarcasm 

- this! bitch!

- hmm i should really do this thing, but i’m gonna go down another youtube rabbit hole instead <3

- be a slut do whatever u want

- might fuck around and try a new hobby

- you!! are going to LISTEN TO ME when I TALK!!! BITCH!!!

moon in capricorn

- money is the anthem of success <3

- nothing matters

- except my bag....and maybe like 2 people

- wow my comedic timing today >>>

- jesus christ why did i buy that

- romance is dead i hate my generation’s dating scene

- again, maybe i should tone down on the sarcasm

moon in aquarius

- i can’t feel anything and it’s great!!

- i’m gonna make a new playlist today

- “he-” dump him.

- alone time <3

- god i’m so lonely

- i just had the most amazing idea i need to write it down somewhere

- god i’m so smart and creative no wonder everyone is in love with me

moon in pisces

- i’m so tired pls

- i just had the craziest dream i wonder what it means

- oh look! there are those emotions i’ve been bottling up! and they’re back! with a vengeance! haha

- if i don’t take a nap i will d-word

- WHERE TF IS MY JOURNAL

- the tarot card reader on youtube said we should kiss <3

- what a day!! i did absolutely nothing except create scenarios that are never going to happen!! <3

- i’m gonna buy a crystal today

[ofmythsandmadness]

to be called beautiful | d.h.

❛ do you ever miss, having someone around to love you?❜

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SUMMARY: vigilantes!au. you push the boundaries of your relationship, and ask for a wish you know won't be given back. (or — it's late, and after another night of patrol, loneliness sets in deep.) WARNINGS: slightly nsfw??? mentions to sex, no descriptions. it's not a sexual story, just a part of an inner monologue. WORD COUNT: 2.6k+ NOTES: reposting this in hopes it shows up this time (pls pls pls i'm gonna cry). i've been writing a whole other series that is a totally different writing style, but i've been trying to work out my emotions in small, focused pieces like this one when i can't focus. i might develop this into a small ficlit series of it's own, bc i think it's kinda fun — but we'll see how this goes.

THE BEAST THAT IS YOUR LONELINESS has been your burden for too long to say.

It's hold on you is a familiar ache, one you've felt for years, like a chronic tight tugging on your heart that refuses to give in no matter what you try. But you still refuse to name it for fear of coming to terms with the implications of it all. That you're really alone in this life and you're terrified of what that means and the fact that you can't have what your childhood stories promised would be yours.

Like the fool you are, you cling to the idea that it's just passing notions. You'll get over it one day. The flitting daydreams of a fairytale romance better fit for a vanilla Hallmark flick suck, but one day they won't hurt so bad. You'll numb and find a way to fill the void. And you try, you really do, pushing it down for the quick release of meaningless acts and walks of shames and cold bedsheets.

Sex is a toxic friend. You choose it's pull when your heart aches most and the loneliness begs for your breath to the point where every gasp of air is a privilege, not the bare minimum. It's not what you crave. There's no romance, no love. It's a trade and one that always leaves you feeling robbed of something you're not sure you ever even had.

You rarely remember their names. You know they probably won't remember yours. And why would they? The shudders, the whimpers, the cold moans that amount to nothing but crumbs of a supposedly passionate act only pass an hour, then they're gone. Or you're gone, if you're lonely enough to risk it. A bit of fun, a breath of pink and white and the feeling of someone pulling you closer, begging for your skin against theirs.

And then, it's all grey again. And you're alone at your apartment, washing your body free of the marks some stranger dared to press into your wilting skin, wondering what it would feel like for a lover to kiss you that same way. Running your fingers over every inch that has been caressed by so many faceless guests, trying to hold yourself in the way your foolish heart pounds for. But it's never enough. Your hands don't cup your flesh, don't mould and kiss and promise the carefully knitted lies any lover had dealt you in the past. And you're as cold as ever when they fall back to your sides. Nothing enflames your skin like you wishes it could — like those you wish would.

It's a discontent you live with. Just as you're sure millions of others do. That's what life is; you push yourself through the day, through your mundane day job and your taxing nighttime hobbies (because you sure as hell can't claim what you do as real work if your only pay is in blood and tears). You cling to the good times that happened too long ago to remember clearly, and make the moments that you're alone with your thoughts as small as possible.

But there's no time to consider all that now.

You scrunch your face up as tight as you can, squeezing your eyes shut to the point where you see stars, exploding like confetti in some absurd black void that hides behind your lids. For a moment you hold the pose, watching the stars erupt, until the position hurts too much and you have to release.

Surroundings blur and then clear as your eyes readjust from their disassociation. You stare blearily at the random coffee shop you and your 'associate' chose for the night. It's just as generic as the last five visited, a thousand shades of brown and red and weary smiles the bored baristas wear just for a cheap check that'll barely cover their asses. It's worn and empty; no one's hear except the two of you and the workers who probably hate you for being here so late.

Normally, you would feel like an asshole staying so late. But you can't bring yourself to move, or even suggest to. It's all too heavy. And even if it's in brooding silence, you don't want to leave your partner. Not yet, you beg the universe, just a few more minutes.

And, speaking of—

"What's got you so blue today?"

You blink. Look over to him, only to see him already watching you.

There's really no point lying. He always unravels you too quickly, too easily — it's the detective in him, unravelling anyone and scooping their truths from shivering flesh. Some sort of childhood trauma response he developed into another super power.

You used to hate it. Now...if you concentrate hard enough, his sharp gaze feels like one of a lover's.

"Don't know what you mean," you tell him, foolish and flustered. "I'm just fine."

"Bullshit. You've sighed a dozen times in the last five minutes."

"Tch. No I haven't."

"Did too!"

His teeth glint, white and clashing against the full pink of his lips. You wish you could denounce all the times you wondered what it would feel like to have them graze against your keening skin — but not even all the gods could cleanse of you of those thoughts. Those desperate, pleading, melancholic memories stain; he can't see them, but you do when you look close enough. And you can't escape it, much as you try.

"Seriously, though. What's up with you?"

Your gaze falls down to your hands, eager to escape his allure, though it's not a great distraction. It only makes you more bitter, really, taking in all the flaws that litter your weaponised limbs. They're calloused from a million fights. Your knuckles are scarred, aching from wounds you reopen every other night. A thousand scars from a thousand scrapes, cuts, slashes and grazes linger on once perfect skin. You don't know how many there are, anymore, only that you wish you could wipe them off. Start over, have a clean slate. Erase all your mistakes and be beautiful again.

"I'm just tired," you lie. It's tense and pitiful; you know you've screwed it up the second the words leave your lips. "S'all."

"Ri-i-ight, and I'm the goddamn queen of England."

The absurdity of his retort makes your lips twitch. It's not enough for a smile, your self-inflicted misery makes sure of that, but it's a seed of something. "Wow. Didn't know I was in the presence of royalty."

"Yeah, yeah. Shut it."

"My apologies, your highness."

"Shut up, you little shit," he grumbles, but it's as soft as you get from him. It's practically a cry of love — or your foolish mind paints it as such. You take his teasing insults as promises of adorations and his arguments are poems of lust and infatuation that tug on your heartstrings in ways you know they shouldn't.

You're partners, for crying out loud. Professional coworkers (if you call the bloody mess you two create work). You don't get to miss him, or crave him, or love him like you do.

"Something happen to you?"

You watch his own hands fold and unfold on the table. The long, delicate fingers stand out on a man like him; someone who paints himself in only sharp angles and cutting lines. But you think they match him well. They promise life. Bleed hope, even in the raised scars that lace his skin like your own. You've watched those fingers grip a blade, launch it into flesh, pull and push and dig and rip and take and committed acts of atrocity most people would run from. You know he probably thinks of his hands the same way you do. But you think they're beautiful.

"Nah. It's...it's nothing. Really."

You can't see his face, but you imagine his narrowed eyes and furrowed brows asking for an answer you're just not willing to give. "C'mon, just tell me. Can't be that bad."

Your body laughs. You hear it from some place far away. It's cold and hoarse; you wonder how long it's been since you've heard a genuine laugh from yourself. You wonder if he notices (and wishes he did, foolishly, frivolously...).

It's probably stupid, but you go for it.

"You ever miss having someone?"

Something creaks; his chair, groaning as he shifts his weight. One of his fingers taps against his empty coffee cup; idle music for a restless soul.

"Like, in what way?"

"I..." Your nails dig into your palms. This was a mistake, but one you have to follow through with. He won't accept silence after something like that. "In the cheesy, domestic sorta way? That whole, havin' someone to come home to, someone who you can talk to, someone who..." the words stick like molasses in the back of your throat. Try as you do, they refuse to give themselves to him, so you have to substitute. "Just, someone who likes you, past your body or, or whatever."

"Oh."

"Sorry." It's your turn to shift in your seat, awkwardly searching for something to occupy yourself with as this uncomfortable energy you've created carries on. But your cup's empty, and you don't have the cash to ask for another overpriced latte. "Forget about it. Let's talk about somethin' else, yeah?"

He doesn't answer that. In fact, he doesn't say anything at all for a moment, long enough to make you wonder if you've just crossed the line of no return. You can't bring yourself to look at him, hell your cowardice is painful enough to make you wonder if you should just make a run for it, say au revoir! to the bond you've built with this knife-obsessed robin hood and crush your heart forever.

It's tempting, and you consider it, but then he fills the silence.

"I miss Eudora sometimes."

Finally, your gaze tilts up. Your eyes meet his lips. He's not smiling anymore.

You guys don't talk about exes together. It's a forbidden topic, same as family or childhoods or the number of people that have cut you open and bled you dry for fun. It's too personal, and in this line of work, personal doesn't fly. But you know Eudora Patch, because this line of work requires a couple run ins with people like her, and because your partner in crime has never learned how to stop his emotions from bleeding into his expression.

"Not because I still love her, but y'know..." his fingers wave aimlessly. "It was nice, when it worked. I liked having someone to sleep with. In a non-sexual manner." His lip curls a little. "Guess the sex part was nice too, though."

You nod. "Yeah, I get that. It's...it was nice, having someone who knew you. Who wanted to make you feel good, not just for themselves but 'cause that sort of things matters."

"Mm."

"Y'ever consider pursuing that sort of thing?"

He shakes his head. His adamancy is a truck smashing into your heart — though you know you should have expected no less, it still hurts. "I can't. It never works, with people like us. Y'know?"

"Yeah. Makes sense." You want to say more. You probably should say more — but you doubt he wants to hear your woes about intimacy, and the pathetic ways you crave affection you probably don't deserve. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"Hm?"

His brows knot. "Why're you asking? Someone do somethin'?"

"What? No."

"Cause, like, if someone's hurt you, I'll—"

"I'm fine," you promise, and without thinking, you reach across the table to pat his hand. To reassure him like one would a lover. But just before your fingers meet his, the bitter reminder that he's not yours sets in and you draw back. Your hand falls a couple inches from his own. "And I can take care of myself, if I wasn't. Don't worry."

He chuckles mirthlessly. "Y'sure about that? You're still the dumbass that tripped over her own feet twice walking down an empty sidewalk, and—"

"—oh, you are such an asshole, why can't you just—"

"—so if you need someone to cut a bitch, I'm available."

You soften slightly. Try to smile, even if it's a false promise and probably hangs like a broken door on mismatched hinges. "I appreciate that. But I'm okay. Think I'm just tired, and a little lonely."

"What, I'm not good enough for you anymore?"

Bitterness seeps onto your tongue; it speaks before you can shut your lips around it. "You're fine as a partner against crime. But you're not anything otherwise, are you?" It feels like a taunt. You hadn't meant it to be — though, maybe you had.

If he takes your jeer poorly, though, it doesn't show on his face. He's still smiling and watching you, eyes simmering with a joke you wish you were in on.

"It doesn't matter though. Having someone's too complicated, 'specially for fools like us. Sometimes it's just..." you don't have a good answer. Not one he'd want to hear, anyways. "I just miss it sometimes. It'd be nice to have someone to talk to, or eat breakfast with in the mornings."

He nods slowly. "Yeah. Was nice, having another body around."

"Yeah. Ha. I," you stutter out a chuckle. Tug at your lip, nibbling at the cracked skin that comes with your long nights. "No one prepares you for how lonely adulthood is. Like, I'm half tempted to make friends with the takeout guys, just so I have a friend at all."

"We're friends."

"You know what I mean," you mumble, swallowing the bitter 'are we?' that almost makes its way off your tongue. "It was just nice when I had the time, to have a person around. Someone to like, hold hands with, or-or call me beautiful, sometimes. I-I can't remember the last time called me that, any..."

Fuck.

You hadn't meant for that last confession.

He wasn't supposed to hear that. It's too personal, too personal, too fucking personal for someone you don't even know.

Everything trembles; you're shaking like an avalanche, ready to sweep it all away under some snow drift. Never to be seen again. But you can't do that, there's no taking back the way your voice cracked as it reaches it's last word, and how your hand slips into a fist, ready to charge even though there's no punching your way out of this fumble.

You crack. Stumble out of your seat. Before he can talk you're moving, throwing a couple bills (too many for your poor wallet, you'll pay for that later) down and mumbling something about heading home. Your head's spinning and you just want to sit down again, pretend like this never happened and ask about some meaningless moment in a meaningless day that you wish could be yours and his, not just—

"—text me when you're goin' out again," you say, high and nervous. "I'll be around."

You turn.

"You don't have to leave."

"I got work tomorrow. Early."

"Thought you had the day off?"

Fuck, la deuxième acte. "Taking a shift for someone."

"Oh." He doesn't believe you. He would be a fool to. But he agrees anyways. "Okay."

"See ya, Kraken."

He doesn't answer you back. It's probably better that way.

BONUS

Many hours later, you're in bed, finally dozing off. You've rinsed off the filth of the night and resigned yourself to a barely adequate rest alone, too tired to consider what usually makes your mind race. It's been a long day; let future you contemplate all the ways you've screwed up.

Just as you're about to fall asleep, however, there's a small ping! that immediately wakes you up A notification sound reserved for only one person.

You groan but still roll over. Your heart may be a humiliated, burning mess, but it still beats for him, much as you've tried to stifle it.

kraken // 2:36 am. you available at 11p tomorrow?

kraken // 2:37 am. got word somethin going down at east docks, wanna check it out before it gets bad.

Relief is a sweet blessing. You exhale and smile into the darkness. He's still a professional, even if you seem unable to understand what that means.

you // 2:40 am. for sure. meet me at my place whenever and we can prep.

You leave it at that. Whatever he has to say after that, cannot be too important to waste your precious hours of sleep. So you roll over and shut your eyes and let yourself forget about the empty space that fills your place.

It's a decision you regret the next morning, when you wake up and realise what you missed.

kraken // 3:31 am. you ever get lonely for someone, feel free to let me know.

kraken // 3:32 am. might not make a great boyfriend, but i'll eat breakfast with you. so long as you're cooking.

A/N - I had a whole idea for two tired vigilantes (like what Diego does in season one, but partnered up) who both are really lonely and tired of life and all it's shit, and rely on each other more than they'll ever admit, and...I'll probably never write it, but this was a fun bit of that. two lonely emotionally deprived assholes who can't accept that maybe they can be loved and the person who wants to is right in front of them. :)

[mcandthe7morons]

Demon Brothers and toxic relationships

Everybody talks about how amazing a relationship with the demon brothers would be, but has someone ever mentioned the way they may be toxic too? I love them, more than than i love irl people. But... i just think.

Lucifer (i have a hard time doing him T^T)

*he is very prideful (the avatar of Pride obvs) and we all know how pride can affect a relationship.

*what if you had a fight? even if he may know he is wrong, will his pride allow him to say he is sorry first?

*if you try to take him somewhere nice and give him a dinner or something like that (like in the birthday event) but he will never let you pay for it because he just can’t let you do this.

*and let’s be fair, Lucifer can be a little bit scary if he tries. And imagine if you refuse to do something how he wants.

Mammon 

*(i will assume you live together lol)

* we all know he likes to steal things and sell them for money.

* he will most likely steal something from you and then go “but you don’t need it anymore!” or “stop being so stubborn! I bought ya something with the money too!”

* but most of the times is not about the fact he stole the thing, but the fact he SOLD something of yours, which may be important to you. 

* when you want to pay the rent you will see it is missing from the place you put it. 

* Mammon will, for sure, refuse to admit he took the money. But when he will see you starting to cry he will be “what is the big deal for some money. I will make them back soon, just wait and see!” (spoiler: it is a big deal)

* you may end with some angry witches at your door, when he is conveniently not at home

Laviathan

* The biggest problem: you need to talk to him because you need him, but he will not pay attention because he is playing games. 

* After a long day at work you come home at a very dirty house and a sleep deprived Levi who is in a gaming session for more than 12 hours.

* You will have to compete a lot with Ruri-chan. At first it was not a problem, because you find Ruri-chan cute too. But after some time you will end being jealous of all the time Levi dedicates to her. 

* His gaming room (because let’s be fair, he will have one!) is full of Ruri-chan merch, the kitchen is full of Ruri-chan themed dishes, the bath is full of Ruri-chan products. 

* He will spend a lot of his money on anime merch, and, even if he earn the money himself for his hobby, he rarely have money to help with rent and house things. 

* You will manage to make him help a little with something, like doing the dishes, but he will very fast run because he has some stamina to take in a game.

* When he is playing at night and you try to sleep, you get lonely because he is online and not beside you.

* At some point you will end doing your own character on the game he is addicted at the moment to be able to talk to him

* And he is devilgram and twitter addicted. and the most atention you will get may be the moment he post an embarrassing picture of you. He will find it very cute because he loves you very much and want the world know about his amazing girlfriend, but not everyday you can appreciate a photo of you with bed hair, dirty pj and scratching your rear while doing a coffee. 

Asmodeus

* just 3 words: He. Is. Asmodeus. and The Avatar of Lust.

* He is the one who knows the most about about relationships and how to treat his loved one. 

* But let’s not forget how he love to flirt. 

* He sometimes flirt with others just to make you jealous, and sometimes you know that and just laugh at it and take him back, but sometimes it may be very annoying and makes you insecure.

* He is the one with the biggest chances to cheat. Maybe not on purpose. He just drinks too much one day or something. 

* But let’s be fair, how much can our boy resist without going after someone he finds attractive on street. 

* With all the love you give him, at some point his narcissistic attitude may affect you. All the “You are so cute, but not as cute as me” can make you start feel bad in your skin because you can’t rise yourself to the level to be cute enough for him. 

Satan

* he is the Avatar of Wrath. You don’’t need to know more.

* You will find yourself being too careful in your own house to not make him angry. And if you do something accidentally, like broke his mug or pour some water on his book, you will stay scared in a corner not knowing what to do because he will be angry when he gets home. 

* Satan is a well read person, and he is not shy about it. But sometimes is annoying, and makes you feel stupid about some things you don’t know so much about. 

* You love to have long talks with him, but sometimes these talks makes you tired because is a little hard to keep up with him, especially when you don’t know so much about the subject. 

* He have a lot of cursed books and you have a lot of problems with the fact he don’t really clean after himself. There are always books around the house no matter how hard you try to clean everything. You love books too, but it’s not fun when you try to take one and you find yourself cursed with a bird beak. 

* “No Satan, we can’t keep 32 cats in our house, the landlord doesn’t allow animals. NO SATAN, WE CAN’T MOVE RIGHT NOW. No Satan, we don’t buy ten bags with cat food to feed the strays.”

“Satan, put the book down! No, you can buy another one after you read what you have at home”

Beelzebub (pls help, he is too precious to be bad)

* you have a problem feeding him. 

First: you are so, so tired to cook for him.

Second: the ingredients list is so expensive, and if you order something you can see the money flying from you. 

Food before rent. 

“No Beel, this is my hand not a chicken wing. The food will be there soon. BEEL LEAVE THE PILLOW DOWN, IT’S NOT A GIGANTIC MARSHMALLOW!”

Belphegor

* you try to speak with him but he is sleeping with his eyes open. 

* you try to clean the house and need help, but he is asleep. Not the fact he is not helping makes you mad, but the fact you can’t do loud sounds because he is sleeping and cleaning is loud. 

* you can see it in his chats, he sometimes he is a bit rude, and sometimes can be annoying having him making fun of you.

* You will be fired because  he convince you to sleep more with him.  

Do not get me wrong, i love these brothers and i didn’t write this to be bad. If any of them comes to me to get married you can already buy your wedding clothes because you are invited.

*Sorry for the bad english*

*Please don’t kill, i’m doing my best*

[elchantra]

𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

so um i’ve been lurking for a little while. well, maybe not a little. but i’ve been around here long enough to see so much talent and content from you guys and you know what? i wanna join this wonderful community even tho i have social anxiety :P 

about me

my name’s chan, i’m from philippines. i’m a high school graduate but decided to take a gap year because of mental health issues (not stonks). for the mean time i’ve been trying to focus on my writing. trying, cuz i procrastinate a lot heh. 

age: 18

sign: leo sun, aquarius, moon, pisces rising

mbti: intj

pronouns: she/her

things i like

memes

coffee (i drink it like it’s water)

lorde <3

grishaverse

rain, dusk, moon

writing on my journal

genres i write

fantasy

young adult

thriller

action

lit fic (maybe? if i can?)

current wips (i’ll do a wip intro soon)

Let the gods burn-been in my head for 3 years and i’m only working on it now smh. it’s gonna be high fantasy with some themes of faith, power, and self-worth.

Bounty of the Wicked-thought of this back in 2018. it’s YA action with powerful families and a lil bit of crime. i now have the plot but i think i’ll change the first act so it can be more suitable for my characters idk.

few of my favorite writerblrs 💕

@ambrosichor @unnagi @jugularss @ikilledmyocs​ @nepeinthe @melwrotethat (i’d love to follow more!) 

and thus concludes my intro. hope it wasn’t too boring for yall. if you want to talk about books, writing and random stuff pls don’t hesitate to message me. my inbox is always open for you lovelies. let’s support each other because writing is often a lonely hobby but it doesn’t have to be ^^

[kenmasgameboy]

about me:

name: jenna

age: 22

years on tumblr: 8

college major: BFA film production; minor in screenwriting

hobbies: crafting; writing; drawing; anime; watching movies; cooking + more but i suddenly forget who i am really

animes i stan on this blog: haikyuu, my hero academia, given, free, ohshc, and practically every single other romance/fantasy/comedy anime in existence. One day i’ll write them all down

currently watching: parasyte & snow white with the red hair

message me pls!! I do be lonely and always want to talk about haikyuu

[ajokeformur-ray]

Hey...? I’m here for a matchup for both Arthur and Joker pls? OwO I’m 19, and I’m 5’0. I’m plump, because of my breasts and hips, so it’s curvy?? But I’m super insecure, and shy. I love drawing, reading and writing. I have anxiety, I keep all the negative emotions buried, because I don’t want anyone around me to carry the same emotional baggage w/ me. Anyway, I’m also a loner at school. My past experiences give me a hard time to trust ppl. I hope these are enough. Love your matchup thingy

Thank you, my love! I hope that you enjoy this!💝

Total wc: 1, 580.

Arthur // wc: 801.

There is an eight inch height difference between yourself and Arthur which means he has increased protectiveness over you. It is not because you are small that you are weak, but Arthur even still loves nothing more than to fold his upper body into yours; drawing you so completely into his chest and keeping you safe. You melt into his body so easily and Arthur likes to rest his chin on the top of your head, his arms tightly around you, or to rest his forehead on the curve of your shoulder,periodically turning his head so that he can kiss your neck if he wants something more intimate and comforting in nature. The both of you are insecure and shy, so it takes a fair while for the both of you to get a relationship going. However, Arthur can sense in you a kindness, a goodness, which other people don’t carry on their sleeves like you do, and he gravitates towards you like a moth to a flame. With you, however, he is not burned, but nourished and loved, cherished and treasured. One thing is for sure, and that is that he loves all of you for precisely who you are and he wouldn’t want you any other way than how you are right now, reading this. You are his one and only and he loves you so deeply and so completely.

You are artistic and creative and Arthur gravitates towards that, so musically inclined a soul is he and though he wouldn’t ever ask, he would like to read the things which you write if you are willing to share it with him. Sometimes he wants to share his journal with you and he will invite you to sit on his lap while he reads to you, his strong, dark brows furrowed as he reads it out, his sea green eyes darting up periodically to see your reaction to his thoughts. When you engage in your creative hobbies, Arthur likes to join in by way of you spending time together separately. You will be sat on the worn sofa with an old film playing quietly on the television, and Arthur will be sat at the small kitchen table writing in his journal. Occasionally will he read out a joke and if you laugh, he will add it to his show. Your reactions to his comedy ends up tailoring his performances to your sense of humour over the months. Arthur knows well what it means to be anxious, and he never thinks of you any less for it. He only understands, and he reassures you whenever and wherever possible, and even with his own struggles he puts you first. You keep your emotions to yourself, as does Arthur, though for different reasons. Even so, the two of you learn to open up and to trust one another. There is no burdening of the other person, when the other person is only too willing to help you carry your emotional baggage. You grow together and you live together and Arthur can only wonder how he lived at all before he had you in his life. All he knows is that now he has you in his life, he never wants to go back to the time before such a miracle; you’re his everything.

You’re nineteen and Arthur worries that he’s too old for you; he’s almost if not actually twice your age, but you don’t let it deter you! You’re a fully consenting and informed adult, as is Arthur, and you know yourself and your mind. You love him and you show him every single day, so strongly that not even his demons, shouting at him daily, can convince him otherwise. Arthur can relate you being alone even in a crowded place, for he has been socially isolated for his entire life. You have had bad experiences in the past which have impacted upon your present, especially when it comes to friendships and trusting people, and Arthur understands that all too well. It isn’t easy but he does what he can to help you to learn to trust him, and in teaching you does he end up relaxing as well. It takes time, for the both of you are shy, but there’s something in his smile, something about Arthur, which you can’t put your finger on, and it’s the very same for Arthur when it comes to you! You really grow together slowly and then all at once and neither of you would have it any other way. Two lonely souls, one destitute city, and a whole lot of love makes for a tale worthy of the big screens; made for each other are you! Arthur loves you for all of you and that has never and will never be any different!

Joker // wc: 779.

By the time, some months later, Arthur comes home dressed in a three piece crimson red suit, greasepaint smeared and his hair a mess, the two of you are fully comfortable with one another. Changed though he may be and unpredictable is his nature, one thing remains the same and it is this: Arthur loves you for all of you. He adores all of you and if ever you become physically insecure, Arthur is there to reassure you. Fussed is he not with his partner’s appearance, just so long as you are safe and comfortable within your own self, and he often is insecure of his own appearance. He feels like he could be stronger, richer, and someone all around better for you, and even as Joker does he have these same insecurities. These insecurities are both worn them like armour so they can’t be used to hurt him and being shed by him at the same time. A walking contradiction is he. You are insecure and shy and by now, Joker knows how to reassure you, how to protect you and how to be there for you, even through the haze of his now non-medicated mind. There is nothing that he won’t do to protect you, dearheart, you’re his greatest treasure and his strength, his joy and his saving grace. You’re his entire life and he will spend the rest of his showing you the true depth of his devotion to you.

You are creative and whereas Arthur used to want to ask if he could read the things you have written or view the things you have drawn, Joker now expresses it clearly. He will come up behind you when you’re sat on the worn sofa drawing or he will slide up on the bed with you, and those strong arms clad in crimson will curl around your waist or your shoulders. “Can I see, darling?” or “that’s a lovely look on your face, doll. What’s it about?” His voice is soft and raspy and if you say yes, then he breaks out his journal and the two of you spend long hours sharing your artistic works together and talking about your inspirations and your feelings about certain things. If you say no, then Joker shrugs it off and he will simply ask you at a later date. it’s not that he pesters you about it, but you can’t say no every time; you will say yes eventually and he can be patient. You have anxiety and Joker knows you. He knows you and from a single glance can he almost always accurately read you and your mindset. He knows how to help you and he knows when to help you. He has his anxieties, too, and with him werewolfing out on the streets often, it can cause your anxiety to spike, especially when he is gone for all hours of the day and night without so much as a note, but he always makes sure to come home to you. You are his one and only, the only one who makes sense to him, and you’re his home. Joker is unpredictable and there is no telling what will set off his outbursts, but by this stage in your relationship, you’re safe with each other and Joker always encourages you to talk to him. “Come on, talk to me,” is his usual soft plea. He wants to be there for you; he lives for you. A problem shared is a problem halved, and if you keep sharing each half as it decreases in size, then soon there’s no problem at all!

You have been deeply hurt in the past, as has Joker, and the two of you have built up a relationship of mutual trust and respect, from which blossomed love so intense that the both of you wonder just how you survived without each other in the past. The both of you help and support one another and it’s not easy; some days it’s infinitely harder than others, but it’s worth it because of the love which exists between the two of you. Joker sees you, he knows you, he loves you, and there’s nothing that he wouldn’t do for you; just as there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for him. You are so so supportive of each other and so in love that any outsider’s looking in have their hearts broken in the best way just from seeing how tender you are with each other. You’re much younger than Joker, but he doesn’t see that; he only sees the woman he loves, the woman who loves him, and that’s all that matters to him: always you.

[antiquatus]

✧ ━━ the courts of switzerland present GIULIO DE MEDICI of THE PAPAL STATES, a CARDINAL of THE CATHOLIC CHURCH. the THIRTY-THREE year old had been LEARNED and CHARITABLE before the break of war but have now become RUTHLESS and ZEALOUS. HE is often remembered by their likeness to JAMES NORTON and THE SMELL OF INCENSE IN HIGH-CEILINGED CATHEDRALS AS THE SOUND OF LATIN ENUNCIATIONS SPILL FORTH FROM HIS LIPS ; A RED GALERO TO KEEP THE GLARE OF THE SUN AWAY , WHICH NONETHELESS SPARKLES OFF A BEJEWELED PECTORAL CROSS ; and ANTIQUATED TEXTS SMUGGLED AWAY FOR PERSONAL PLEASURE . the rumor mills of europe claim that his allegiance lies with THE CHURCH and that he is for WAR.

yes, hello, i am henry  (  twenty, gmt+8, they/them  )  and this is my bastard supreme catholic crusader-king wannabe : giulio michele cardinal de medici, archbishop of esztergom and cardinal of the  (  one, holy, catholic, and apostolic and bigoted  ) church. here is his about page , his biography  (  which is basically just the headcanons section of the app  )  , some wanted connections, and  (  if you care to read a whole buncha words  )  here’s the whole application. read down the cut if you want it summarised + the first task! :) if u wanna plot, send me a dm @ i am a mushroom! 🍄#9146 or hmu here on tumblr ims.

content warning for usual mediaeval church brand of bigotry + mentions of: disordered eating, scrupulosity, obsessive-compulsive tendencies

SUMMARY

hhhhhhhhh

crusader-king wannabe, what else do u need 2 know?

hashtag only 1099 kids will remember

CHARACTER SHEET

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME :  giulio michele de medici

MEANING :

giulio — from latin, a cognate of julius, the meaning of which is irrelevant, as it was chosen more to invoke julius caesar

michele — italian form of michael, meaning who is like god?

de medici — medici, plural form of medico, meaning doctor, physician

MONIKERS / NICKNAMES : giulio, papabile

TITLE : 

commander of several abbeys, scattered throughout the italian peninsula (multiple dates to present)

administrator of bozen (1538 to present)

archbishop of esztergom-budapest (1540 to present)

cardinal of the roman catholic church (1544 to present)

prelate of the roman inquisition (1550 to present)

vice-camerlengo of the apostolic camera (1556 to present)

GENDER & PRONOUNS : listen... he’s actually Agender but do u rlly expect the church/himself to like... accept anything beyond the gender binary... that being said, the imago dei is inclusive and also inherently non-binary so... there is that... (one day, giulio...... one day...........) — pronouns are he/him

ETHNICITY : white

DATE OF BIRTH & AGE: 25th december 1526, thirty-three

ZODIAC SIGN : capricorn sun / virgo moon / sagittarius rising

ORIENTATION : do u know that playlist in spotify that’s just like is this sufjan stevens song gay or just about god? ... yeah, like that exactly.

MARITAL STATUS : married to the LORD

OCCUPATION : cardinal, archbishop, crusader LARPer

CURRENT LOCATION : 

switzerland...?

BACKGROUND

PLACE OF BIRTH : florence, tuscany

RESIDENCES : 

basilica cattedrale metropolitana di santa maria nascente, milan, lombardy villa d’este, tivoli, lazio

RELIGIOUS VIEWS : roman catholicism, somewhat of a catholic mystic in the vein of pseudo-dionysius, hildegard von bingen, and meister eckhart (hashtag eckhart did nothing wrong!!!)

EDUCATION : private tutoring, ecclesiastical catechism, autodidact in a great deal many things

LANGUAGES SPOKEN : italian, latin, ancient greek, hungarian, bulgarian, serbian, russian, arabic, hebrew, french, german, spanish, english, old church slavonic

ALLEGIANCES : the church & himself (to him? there is no difference)

the house of de medici: only nominally loyal, he thinks there are far better things to pay attention to than temporal matters such as these

the one holy catholic and apostolic church: his #1 bae

FAMILY :

papa & mama medici: parents

piero de medici, older brother

francesco de medici, younger brother

giovanna de medici, younger sister

OTHER FAMILIAL RELATIONS :

—

APPEARANCE

FACECLAIM : james norton

HAIR COLOUR / STYLE : i’m so mad abt this... but yes... he has a tonsure... press F in the chat pls // though he has stopped shearing his hair in switzerland

EYE COLOUR / SHAPE : blue, and idk... eye-shaped? 

HEIGHT : 1.85m / 6′1″

BUILD : fluctates: for reasons specified in the neurological conditions section below, this isn’t very consistent; however, if this was modern day, redditors would just spam him with “delete facebook, hit the gym, lawyer up!!!!”

SPEECH STYLE : mellifluous to the point of inane verbosity, uses more words than he should; that being said, he possesses the uncanny ability to pick up a language easily and quickly, inserting local colloquialisms to the point that he sounds like a native speaker; nevertheless, he consistently speaks in a formal register (sometimes! even to family members!) and has a very blunted affect, diminishing the effect if only slightly

RECOGNIZABLE MARKINGS : n/a

BEAUTY HABITS : for a mediaeval european, he is actually very hygienic; takes baths obsessively, definitely more than once a week, which does link to his fixation with purity both metaphysical and temporal; hates public bathhouses with a passion; combs his hair and parts it to the side, favouring his left

PERSONALITY

TROPES : the chessmaster, bookworm, our angels are different, knight templar, lack of empathy, lonely rich kid, affably evil, & raised catholic (duh).

INSPIRATIONS : lenny belardo (the young pope), crusader kings ii (the game), pope julius ii (history), adso (the name of the rose), john the beloved (history, the bible), jacopo belbo (foucault’s pendulum), henry winter (the secret history), the prince (the prince, niccolo macchiaveli)

MBTI : intj-t (the architect) 

ENNEAGRAM: 5w4 1w9 4w3 (the researcher) sp/sx

ALIGNMENT : lawful good, insofar as goodness is aligned to catholicism

TEMPERAMENT : choleric but perhaps more arguably a choleric-sanguine hybrid

HOGWARTS HOUSE : slytherin

POSITIVE TRAITS : charitable (to catholics), brilliant, prodigious

NEGATIVE TRAITS : manipulative, narcissistic, self-serving, self-righteous

HABITS : has a tendency to fidget his fingers; gnaws on his lower lip to the point of bleeding when thinking, not that he realises it

HOBBIES : reading, writing, playing this new thing called chess

USUAL DEMEANOR : affable to the point of boring people, charming to catholics but cooler against non-catholics, somewhat easy to talk to but one has the niggling feeling that he’s not as invested in the conversation as he should be, people hear the word cardinal and thinks he’s bigoted to the extreme (which he is) but he always deflects and he can be agreeable (but probably slips by still calling istanbul constantinople though!), very learned and nerdy and will talk about theology all the goddamn day if nobody stops him, presents as a very non-threatening (affably bland) cardinal who albeit has very fixed opinions about All The Things

HEALTH

PHYSICAL AILMENTS : n/a

NEUROLOGICAL CONDITION : thinks of himself and presents as neurotypical but probably has szpd (schizoid personality disorder), a form of scrupulosity in the vein of alissa (in strait is the gate by andré gide); also arguably has some form of disordered eating, cycling between binging and extreme fasting, which gives him a weight leaning toward lanky

PHOBIAS : haphephobia, fear of touch; his scrupulosity can also be arguably defined as a phobia of sinning, but that’s basically a whole other complex

ALLERGIES : allergic to SIN!!!! n/a

SLEEPING HABITS : an insomniac, though he thinks it a common affliction; has a habit of reading until late as a way of staving off boredom; may sleep a grand total of only three to four hours at nighttime, though he makes up for it through a post-lunch siesta (which is a habit he picked up from the pope)

SOCIABILITY : presents as a social butterfly, if albeit sterner than most; can slip into conversations of any kind easily, but always ever in a professional context; has no real friends, but can lay claim to easy acquaintanceships; forever holding people at an arm’s length, which is just the way he likes it

ADDICTIONS : drinks the communion wine more often than he should; other than that, he can be almost puritanically temperate, to the point of self-affliction (?); addicted to the idea of purity

[brianandthemays]

The Earth and the Moon (Brian May x reader)

A/N I know the deadline for A Night at the Fandom isn’t until next week but I just can’t wait anymore!!! 

Thank yoooou sooooo much to @zodiacal-dust-and-curls for helping with the writing and for beta reading for me! I appreciate yousoooo much!

For @freddiedearfriend I hope you love!

Word COunt: 3.3k

Warnings: Sciencey? A little angst, some drinking, fluff!

Pls comment, reblog, send an ask! Feedback is always appreciated!!

_________________________________________________

What happens when the earth falls in love with the moon?

You slouched over you desk, chewing on the end of your pencil as you struggled with the reaction in front of you. Your partner, Roger Taylor, on the other hand, seemed to be whizzing through the reactions in front of you. When you decided to major in Biology you’d forgotten about Organic Chemistry, and these organic reactions were going to be the end of you. You scribbled down the rest of the reaction before glancing over at Roger’s paper. Similarly, he leaned over and looked at yours.

               “Oh, love,” he tsked, shaking his head. “You put the electrons in the wrong place again.” You groaned loudly, setting your pencil down and burying your face in your arms. Roger placed a hand on your back sympathetically. “Hey, on the bright side, if you fail out of organic chemistry, you can have room for an art minor. Your hexagons are great.”

               “Roger! Not helping,” you snapped, snatching up your pencil and erasing furiously at your paper. “I’m never going to pass this class and then I’m never going to graduate, and then I’ll never get accepted into medical school and then I’ll be sad and lonely forever.”

               “Now that is an over exaggeration,” Roger replied, plucking your pencil from out of your hands and beginning to draw the correct hexagons on your paper. “I’ll let you cheat off my final.”

               “Thanks, I appreciate that,” you deadpanned, watching him work.

He drew the answers so seamlessly it made you irritated. This stupid pretty blonde was actually intelligent meanwhile you could remember where stupid electrons went on a hexagon. You’d drawn so many circles and hexagons over the past few months that you were starting to hate all shapes. You cringed whenever you saw a stop sign. But the subject seemed to come naturally to Roger, and that wasn’t the only thing that’d come naturally to him.

               “You should meet my mate,” he muttered, continuing to work on your paper. “His name’s Brian, he’s in… uh… astro… astro… blimey what’s the word.” He paused for a second and stared into the desk, his forehead creasing in concentration.

               “Astrophysics?” You offered, raising an eyebrow at him.

Roger’s eyes lit up and he flashed you a smile. “Yeah! That’s it, you heard of him?”

Had you heard of Brian? Brian May? Your silent study buddy who sat diagonally from you in the library. Every Tuesday and Thursday from six to eight in the evening, you would study ‘together’. His soft complexion and kind eyes drew you to sit next to him the first time and since then, you’d been too afraid to actually hold a conversation to him. One time, you bought him some chips and he’d thanked you with a soft blush but that was the extent of it.

               “Uh, yeah… I think I’ve seen him around.” You shrugged, tapping your fingers on the table, not looking in any particular direction.

Roger nodded turning back to the paper. “Yeah, well. He seems like your type. Smart, likes stars, stuff like that.”

               “Oh, and that’s my type?” you scoffed, resting your hand on your chin to watch him.

               “I just think you’d get along is all I meant,” he clarified, wiping away the excess eraser and sliding your paper back to you. “There you go, good as new.”

               “Thanks Roger, I really owe you,” you admitted truthfully, glancing over the paper. Roger smirked and sat back in his chair. “Seriously Roger. You’re a life saver.”

               “Ok, come see my band,” he said, glancing back over at you.

               “Band?”

               “Yeah, I’m in a rock band with Brian.” He shrugged as if it was the plainest thing in the world. “I’m a drummer.”

               “Brian?”

It was hard for you to grasp that Brian was in a rock band. He seemed so reserved and preforming in front of a crowd did not seem like his kind of thing.

               “Yeah, he’s really good. Plays guitar,” Roger told you, turning back to his paper. “Now help me with number 6.”

               “What about me makes you think I can help you with that?” you chuckled, leaning over to look at the reaction on the paper. He laughed and shook his head, beginning to scribble out a hexagon. “My hexagons are much better than that.”

For the earth to circulate, she needs the moon, and for the moon to have an orbit, he needs the earth.

Tuesday night, you found yourself in the library as always. Tonight, you were studying profusely for your Histology class. Yes, the class was interesting but that didn’t make it any less a pain in the ass. But tonight, was different; Brian wasn’t there. 5 minutes into your study sesh, you’d noticed his absence but brushed it off. 30 minutes in, you began to worry. An hour in, you were thrown off. You were so used to having his presence across from you that you were finding it physically hard to concentrate.

You stared at the open textbook, trying to will yourself to read, but just found yourself rereading the same paragraph over and over again. You blew air quickly through you mouth, burying your hands in your hair.

               “You okay there?”

You looked around wildly, trying to find out where the voice came from. Your eyes fell on a saggy mop of hair, smiling sheepishly at you. In his hands where two cups of, what looked like, coffee. He glanced down at the coffee before placing one down next to you.

               “I didn’t know how you took it,” he admitted with a tight smile. “So, I hope you like cream and sugar.” He took his place diagonally from you and plucked his own textbook out of his bag.

               “Thank you… Brian.”

At that he smiled. A bright smile. Almost blinding in the dark lighting of the library. The realization that you knew his name was exciting to him though he didn’t quite know why. He just nodded shortly, turning to his book. A silence falling over the two of you. A kinder silence than the one you had put yourself in before. But you couldn’t help but glance over at him, staring at his complexion. The curve of his nose leading his eyes down to the paper before him, his sprawling fingers over the edge of the paper that at remnants of white finger nail polish on them.

               “I know your mate…” you said softly, dragging your eyes up to his. Surprisingly, they were already planted on you. “Roger… we have classes together.”

Brian blushed, a warm pink covering his pale cheeks as he nodded slightly.

               “He told me about you too,” he told you. “Kept insisting that you were –"

               “Your type?” you finished, your lips curling up into a grin. You scooted your chair a little closer to his as you grew more comfortable with conversation, your feet almost touching under the table. “He told me the same thing earlier today. Right after he told me you were in a band with him.”

If you though he was pink before, this was something else. His whole face, from his neck to his forehead, turned a bright shade of red as he began to stutter.

               “Oh well—it’s nothing special—I just—in my spare time—”

You reached out and placed your hand on top of his. “Brian, it’s okay. I think it’s cool.”

You stared at each other for a moment. His eyes darted between you and your hand on top of his. You quickly realized exactly what you were doing, and pulled away your hand, placing it in your lap.

               “I just didn’t take you as the type,” you finished, looking down at the table.

He seemed frozen in close, still looking at where your hand had once been as you silently kicked yourself for your stupidity.

               “It’s just a hobby.” He shrugged, turning back to his textbook. Things were quiet after that. An odd tension that you’d never felt before settled over the room. And though the tension lingered, your concentration did not. You found yourself stuck in the same rut as before just this time, there was no one to blame but yourself.  Finally, you just had to say something. Something to ease the growing pressure in your chest.

               “Well, I’d like to see you play sometime,” you muttered, playing with your hair.

Brian looked back over at you, seemingly surprised that you had spoken up.

               “You… you would?” he questioned, cocking his head.

               “Uh, yeah,” you confirmed, finally looking back up at him. “Besides, I kinda owe Roger for helping me not fail Organic Chemistry”

Brian chuckled, picking at the nail polish on his nails.

               “I also owe Roger a few favors so I understand,” he agreed thoughtfully. “This Friday… we’re having a performance with our new bassist.”            

But sometimes, the Earth can’t see the moon; they become separated from each other.

                 “Oh my god! You like him!” Roger shouted, eyes widening quickly. 

You often grabbed lunch with Roger after your noon class and were currently sitting outside of a restaurant you frequented and across a plate of fries. You were retelling the events of the night before, the coffee, the hand touching, the awkward tension. Now, Roger was giggling like a school child who had just gotten in trouble with their teacher.

               “Why do I tell you these things?” you groaned, throwing a french fry at him.  He chuckled and knocked the fry away.

               “Okay, okay, okay, tell me what happened again,” he questioned, leaning forward to grab a fry. You glared at him and flopped your head down on the table in front of you. “Oh cheer up it’s not that bad. He’s smashed for you too.” You twisted your neck up so you were looking at him in disbelief. “I’m serious! He talks about his silly study buddy all the time!”

               “Don’t lie to me to make me feel better,” you mumbled, pulling the plate of fries closer to you. 

               “No, it’s cute. It’s really adorable,” he mused, smiling down at you. “You’re adorable.” He poked your nose. You scrunched your nose, blowing furiously through your nostrils.  You sat up and rested your chin on your hand tracing shapes into the condensation on your glass.

               “It’s literally the first time we’ve ever had a conversation,” you mumbled sadly. “And I blew it.”

Roger stared at you sympathetically, still munching on a french fry. 

               “I wouldn’t say blew it…” he started, causing you to look at him, hopefully. “Just, mildly… messed up.”

               “Why would you phrase your sentence that way!” You shouted in exasperation, flinging your hands wildly. “And with a pause in the middle!”

Roger’s grin dropped suddenly, his eyes widening as his focus shifted to something behind you. Then, his lips twisted into a playful smirk as he returned his gaze to you.

               “Don’t look now but Lover Boy is standing right behind you,” he snickered, nodding his head to the right.

You whirled around in your seat, turning to see Brian standing outside the door to the restaurant. You gaped, you eyes turning in saucers as you saw him. Of all the things that were going through your brain right now, this was not what you needed.

               “I told you not to look,” Roger sneered, hitting you arm. You looked over your shoulder and glared at him. “I’ll call him over here, you two can sort this out yourselves.”

               “Roger, wait, don’t-”

But he never did, he just sat there staring at where Brian was,the playfulness leaving his eyes. He grabbed your hand and stood up quickly, starting to drag you in the opposite direction.

               “Roger, what are you doing.” You yanked your hand out of his and stood walking 

               “Let’s just leave. C’mon you’ll see him tomorrow,” he insisted, trying to grab at your hand again.

               “Roger, what’s wrong?” You started to turn around but Roger grabbed your shoulders and prevented you. “Roger, let go of me.”

               “It’s nothing, just please… don’t turn around.” He seemed so sincere. His big blue eyes were laced with concern and you were confused. He let go of you and you turned around. There was Brian, standing now with another girl, she laughed at something he said before she reached up and kissed his cheek. That’s when your heart broke. 

               “Oh.”

You didn’t realize exactly how much you had fallen for him until you saw that. It hurt… a lot. You found yourself struggling for words or some real reaction other than ‘oh’. Then you felt a tear roll down your cheek. You didn’t even know you had teared up, and now you felt the entire force of sadness hit you. 

               “(Y/N), I’m sorry-- I don’t even know who that is-- maybe there’s--”

“Please Roger I just want to go somewhere else,” you choked out, tearing your eyes away from Brian and the girl.

Roger nodded and began to lead you towards his car.

But no matter what, the Earth and the Moon always make their way back to each other

 Why you were standing in the back of a damp pub on a Friday night you didn’t even know. Somehow, 

Roger had convinced you to come and hear Brian’s side of the story, promising that he wouldn’t leave your side all night. Reluctantly you agreed because you really did want to know how they sounded. Unsurprisingly, they were great. Especially Brian. Seeing him up there was unbelievable. It was like he was a different person. His fingers flitted so seamlessly across the fretboard over his beautiful guitar. 

Roger was brilliant too, of course. And as per his promise, as soon as the concert ended he was by your side. Much to the dismay of a few girls but you knew he wasn’t super interested in that. He never had a dry spell but he also wasn’t one to give it away to anyone who asked.  

               “Well, what’d you think?” he shouted over the noise of the pub.  

               “That was amazing, Roger!” You threw your arms around him, laughing happily. You moved to pull away but before you could, Roger pulled you closer and held you close to his body.  

               “Bri’s staring,” he murmured in your ear before pulling back. You glanced over your shoulder and met the pair of hazel eyes watching you. You felt your chest start to swell with emotion and you tore your gaze away, back to Roger. 

               “You alright?” He asked, concern lacing his features. You nodded, not quite trusting yourself to speak just yet. “You sure?” He placed a hand on your arm, brushing it up and down to soothe you. 

               “Yep, yeah, I’m good, “you replied quickly, closing your eyes for a moment. Then you opened them, determined. “I just need a drink.” 

               “That I can get you.” Roger smirked, pulling you towards the bar. And, as per promise, he rarely left your side. The occasional fan or girl would come up to speak with him and he would amuse them for a time but then always turn back to you.   

You were introduced to Freddie Bulsara (Mercury?) and John Deacon, the other two members of the band. Roger told you how John was finishing his trial run tonight and seemed to be a good fit for the band. Freddie immediately complemented you on your outfit and demanded you come visit him and Roger at their retail shop in Kensington.

You were beginning to think you’d be able to get through the night without having to face Brian and you were perfectly okay with that. But then Roger left to use the bathroom. Leaving you alone at the bar.

           “I feel like you been avoiding me.”

His voice made you flinch. You whirled around quickly, looking up at him. You let out a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of your neck.

           “That’s crazy… sorry about that,” you offered, trying to back away.

           “I’m glad you came, I actually wanted to ask you something—” The rest of his sentence was cut off by a man walking between the two of you, earning a glare from the both of you.

           “Sorry I didn’t hear you, Brian.” You shook your head, feeling a body bump you forward, towards him. “I should probably find Roger he’ll be—”

           “Are you and him… ya know…”

           “Oh, no. He’s just my—”

Again, another body walked in between the two of you. You huffed and took a step back, when did this pub get so busy?

           “Is your girlfriend here?” You asked, leaning in slightly.

Brian’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Girlfriend? I don’t have a girlfriend.”

Now it was your turn to be confused. “But Roger and I saw you at—”

Both of you groaned as yet another person moved through your conversation and Brian finally placed an arm on your shoulder, guiding you to the side.

           “I- I don’t have a girlfriend,” he repeated, looking at his feet.

           “Oh,” was all you said. All the pent-up emotion and anger you had dissipated. The ever-present squeezing of your head that had grown over the past few days started to loosen.

           “I actually… um…” he cleared his throat. “I was wonder… uh”

           “Yes?” you pressed, tapping your foot.

           “Iwaswonderingifyoumightwanttogooutwithme,” he rushed. It was so quick you almost didn’t understand him. But when you finally processed what had been said your eyes widened. You started shaking your head adamantly. Brian began to panic his eyes darting around fearfully. “I’m sorry that was out of place I shouldn’t have—”

           “Brian you can’t like me. There’s nothing… there’s nothing… I’m nothing…” you were struggling to process this. All the feelings you harbored for Brian were reciprocated. All the scenarios you’d thought up, this had never been one. “I’m nothing.”

           “Nothing?” he echoed, leaning back slightly.

           “Yeah, I’m just the girl who sits across from you in the library,” you sputtered. “And you’re Brian. Brian with the frizzy hair that he tries, and fails, to straighten. Brian with the pretty Hazel eyes that look so bright on his pale skin. Brian who chews on his pencil. Brian who likes pretzels. Brian who doesn’t even know I exist outside of the library.” You took a step back and shook your head again. “I just don’t believe you.”

Brian took a step towards you again, his eyes considering your words. There it was again. The tension. The tension from the library the other night. And this time it was magnetic. Brian leaned down and you found yourself leaning towards him.

           “May I kiss you?” he muttered, reaching up to brush back your hair, cupping your cheek in the process. You nodded, wanting nothing more. His lips were soft, like a pillow. He moved slowly against you, parting your lips with a nudge of his tongue. Your heart was imploding and there was nothing you could do but wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down closer to you. Finally, you broke apart, panting for breath as you try and grasp what just happened. Brian rested his head against your forehead, looking into your eyes so passionately. “You are so much more than the girl from the library.” He breathed out a laughed. “You’re so gorgeous, even on your busiest days you still look so beautiful. You’re so intelligent even though your think you aren’t. You’re kind to every person you meet, even if you just met them. I know you give pretzels to people you barely know because their stomach is making whale noises.” You giggled, your face flushing. “Please, tell me you understand how much you’ve enchanted me.”

Because the entire time the Earth was watching the Moon, the Moon was watching the Earth.

           “Yeah, I do,” you replied.

What happens when the Earth falls in love with the Moon?

           “Then you’ll let me kiss you again?” He mused, smiling.

The Earth will continue to spin and the Moon continue to watch.

           “Yes.” You smirked, pressing up to press your lips to his.

But the Moon will shine a little brighter, lighting up the Earth with every night they’re together.

[toorusquill]

match-up for tricia (anon)

𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗼 😚👋 how are you? i hope your day’s going well! if you have too many match-ups then pls ignore this one, but if you have some time, then i would be honoured to have if you could match me up 🥺 i am a straight female. i’m full asian (dark hair, dark eyes, tan skin) but i’m often told that i looked mixed/not asian. my friends tell me that i look like a mix of jennie and irene (both k-pop) if they had very sharp features. i’m only 5’1… haha 😔 and shaped like a petite hourglass. i’m ALWAYS told that i look way too intimidating and that i shouldn’t be surprised if no girl approaches me first/hate me. though in my friend group i’m actually the baby and the one being protected! i’m also the jokester, but i’m actually quite intelligent and people always go to me when they need some advice. i love helping others to the point where my friends had to stop me from buying things for homeless and giving them money ‘cause i once spent $850 in one month alone for that. i’ve also bawled my eyes out since my mum refused to stop the car when i took out a $20 bill to give out to a guy on the side of the road, but she said i’ve already done enough. i don’t like to show affection though, but only because i don’t want to be viewed as needy. i’m the older sister, so i was raised to believe that i should be giving praise and affection not the other way around. i deeply care for my friends and family and they know it, but to strangers it may seem that i’m disrespectful ‘cause i’m always teasing and ‘insulting’ them, but i only do it to make them laugh and smile. uh, i once bawled my eyes out in a public park ‘cause my cousin accidentally threw my basketball into the river… idk why, but i feel as though inanimate objects can also feel lonely and sad. i am 98% type 8 and 94% type 2, i’m also an enfj/estj. i look for someone who’s open-minded, mature, and understanding. i also would want someone to know when i’m feeling down without me having to say it since i’m the type of person to bottle up my emotions, but will comfort others till i see them smile. i also have so much love to give, so i’m sometimes attracted to those who secretly feel insecure/need reassurance? i’m really good at reading emotions, so it’s easy for me to spot. i’m also very insecure and despite the fact that i’m always getting complimented, i always view them as lies, so maybe someone who can reassure me once in a while. if there’s one thing i hate, it’s when people are dishonest and ignorant (i won’t hesitate to cut someone off if they’re racist, homophobic, etc. even if i’ve spent my entire life with them) my hobbies are going hiking, admiring what nature has to offer, walking around downtown at midnight, karaoke at night, travelling at night, etc… i have lots, but if there’s one thing i can’t do, it’s cook even though my entire family are such amazing cooks 😭 anyways, i know this is long and if you’re reading this, i’m truly truly truly grateful that you took time for this, your match-ups are just so accurate and wholesome, i feel selfish for sending this since i feel like you already have lots in your hands but i truly love the way you accurately match others with the boys 🥺 i hope you have an excellent day. sending you lots and lots of love! xx

hello! thank you, i hope your day is splendid as well! i do have quite a lot of match-ups in my ask box, but i really enjoy writing requests (you’re not selfish, don’t worry). i’m honored that you think my match-ups are really accurate 🥺.  

also, i had no idea how to tag you with your email, so i hope putting “tricia (anon)” is enough.

i match you up with oikawa tooru!

-oikawa approaches people who may look really scary to other people because he has no concept of social fear. send tweet. he sees through your facade right away, and is attracted to your kindness and compassion. he supports you when you choose to be helpful to others, but is also there to tell you when you’ve done enough.

-oikawa loves to shower people in praise and affection, as well as be showered with praise and affection. you guys work well with each other because he feeds off the attention you give him, while he makes you feel more comfortable with receiving the love that you give out. he’s not the type to lie about compliments, everything he tells you about yourself is true.

-he engages in friendly banter with you, and it doesn’t strike him as mean at all! he knows you’re full of love, don’t worry.

-he is so observant. you can’t really hide how you’re feeling from him because he’s very empathetic. he becomes gentler with you when he notices that you’re bottling up some emotions, and will always try to get you to talk. he comforts you with soothing touches, and he gives you whatever reassurance you may need.

-he is very political, and is always active on social media (he partakes in a lot of online activism). he is still open to being educated about a lot of those things, you can count on him to listen and be open-minded.

-he likes to pretend he’s gone hiking before, but he hasn’t. he’s a little afraid of the bugs and all. he still goes with you though! he eases into nature more when you’re there.

-KARAOKE NIGHTS WITH HIM ARE THE BEST. you’ll be dying of laughter before the night even ends. he insists that you guys perform a really romantic duet, and he goes all out while you guys sing. (his favorite thing to sing with you is “a whole new world”, he does all the theatrics and pretends you guys are on a magic carpet.

-he probably also stans red velvet and blackpink, he sings all of irene and jennie’s parts (the japanese versions of the songs are bops, alright?)

*GIF not mine

hope you like this! - vera 🌸.

[anastcsiia]

WELCOME TO THE DEN, HERE’S YOUR FILE ╱ ZOEY DEUTCH. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER. ╱ ANASTASIA REYNOLDS is TWENTY FIVE years old and they have made their way to fame by becoming a SINGER/GUITARIST. the situation that got them put the den was SHE GOT IN A FIGHT WITH A FAN WHILE HIGH. hopefully they can clean up their image before they lose everything. [ megan. 23. est. she/her. ]

*plays trap queen* i’m like hey what’s up hello u want to plot with me or no? okay wow that was lame srry for that ANYWAY i’m megan and this is my trash daughter anastasia or ana or hoe any of those work….um thank u all for coming to my ted talk and just prepare yourself for a roller coaster of drama. also it’s been a HOT MINUTE since i’ve rp’d but this coronavirus gave me a bunch of free time so hi

DRUGS TW,

dear ana is the daughter of 2 up and coming hollywood names, her father practically being the next stephen spielburg and her mother the next kathleen kennedy (amazing female producer check her out)

this led to a v lonely childhood for ana that was filled with nanny after nanny whom she tormented to no end just to get attention from her parents who were almost never home. 

she turned out to be musically gifted and picked up the guitar, piano and singing at a young age

she was a child starlet for a few years when she appeared on barney and various disney shows (never in a leading role however) to try and gain more attention from her parents but quickly grew tired of it by age 11 and quit. she had a few film credits to her name on her parents’ projects but nothing major

this led ana to pick up a bad drug habit at a very young age (13 to be exact) when she went to her first vanity fair oscar’s after party for one of her father’s films and was introduced to cocaine and ecstasy and has been hooked ever since

she retired from child acting at 14 when her parents divorced and she moved in with her father in calabasas so he could hopefully keep an eye on her

boy was he fucking wrong

she was quite the party girl since she didn’t really have any hobbies other than writing songs sometimes her friends and extended family don’t hear from her for a few days but somehow she always ends up all right. most of the time with a random guy in her bed.

once she graduated high school she decided that her next career venture was the music industry. she joined an up and coming local band as their singer/guitarist and front woman and soon had a number one album on the alternative charts and have kept putting out bangers since then. (think paramore type stuff)

when in public she puts on a graceful act for the most part to maintain a decent reputation, occasionally her drug fueled escapades will be caught by the paps and smeared all over page 6 and she’ll get angry calls from her parents, but she hasn’t had a britney circa 2007 meltdown yet.

if you’re her friend then you probably know she has a mountain of problems and tries to hide it from the world but if you aren’t then you might not see the cry for help she’s putting out into the world.

on any given day ana is a very sarcastic, witty, sharp minded individual who can clap back at any statement and turn it into a compliment for herself

she uses her comedy and self-deprecation to laugh about the somewhat shitty situation she’s in but always loves to make people laugh. it’s kind of like her security blanket

she’s very much a serial dater and doesn’t mind not being able to keep a relationship, it’s more fun to date around but she does have an on and off bf (V MUCH WC!!) who she loves but constantly fucks up with

does this intro make any sense??? probably not pls love me anyway!!!!!!!!!!!

some wanted connections!!!

ride or die get into trouble where ever they go and leave chaos in their wake best friend(s)

exes of any kind!!

BANDMATES OR EX BANDMATES

flirtationship

former best friends, grew apart for whatever reason

rivals

confidant. someone she tells anything and everything to no matter what

childhood besties. like a sibling to ana because she didn’t have any

influencee? someone who ana convinces to let loose a little and have fun

good influence. someone who can tame the wild girl and make her behave for once

ANY OTHER IDEAS!

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

hi, em! i'm trying to confirm my type, so i'd really like to have your input in this. just as a little side disclaimer, i DO have a bit of mental health issues, but i'm in therapy so i'll try not to describe my symptoms as as parts of my personality. i suspect i'm some sort of xnfp 4? but someone else also typed me isfp, so i'm pretty clueless. especially because i am so unsure of how i seem to other people. i'm usually not really concerned for my surroundings, so when someone (1/7)

confronts me witht how they perceive me, it feels like they give me major whiplash. in general, it's pretty hard for me to make friends. not because i'm that unlikable per se, in fact a lot of people seem to be drawn to me (for some reason kfnkjadf) but i'm kinda picky when it comes to connections. if i don't feel a connection with someone i don't really care to meet up with them in private. i have a lot of interests and hobbies that go from singing lessons, creative writing (2/7)    

video games (ik iss cringy shudjd), reviewing movies, psychology, history and classical lit books. i'm very fond with fiction! devouring every sort of media that speaks to me super quickly. seriously i played 150h of my one game in like?? two weeks? or so?? don't take my word on it lol i can be super flighty and forget my workloads super easily, but when pushed enough i'm a superb group project leader and can memorize things quite easily. (3/7)    

i'd looove to do something creative one day? writing books, analyzing books, writing or producing songs, singing etc. take your pick i've probably thought about doing any of these things. i feel like there's so many ideas and words and feelings jumbled up inside me, there's just this huge need to let them out somehow. it's just kinda hard executing on any of that. i usually just rant about my plot ideas to friends, write lyrics in my notes app or sing when no one's home (oop :/) (4/7)           

i have this weird thing where i'm either absolutely engulfed in my own melancholy, completely shutting off emotionally or laughing through emotional pain. emotions are very personal to me, so i'm careful about who sees me in any vulnerable state, even my family is excluded from my darker emotions. but not gonna lie, i don't really know if this is just my mental illness talking right now (5/7) (imma be real w u i have like 5 tabs open and don't know how many messages i sent sorry)                     

despite having quite a lot of friends, i still feel a bit lonely. always a bit misunderstood. like i'm doomed to be unhappy no matter where i am in life. i even remember isolating myself in kindergarten sometimes (a dramatic kid ik) speaking of childhood, i remember being a super imaginative child, having elaborate plots for my barbie dolls and all my disney figurines. but i guess i've always been most interested in romance and fantasy plots lol (6/7    

i think a negative characteristic of mine is probably is taking things too personal at times, being VERY stubborn or being quite flaky. honestly i don't mean to, i usually just forget because i'm probably already distracted by another band or game or movie and completely lose myself in it. n e ways thank you sm and pls if i sent more than 7 messages i'm sorry kdnkan (7/7)             

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Hi anon,

You’re good, you stuck to 7 messages (limit is 8) and there was a decent amount of useful info in it, so you’re doing pretty well!

You definitely sound like a high Ne user - the multiple tabs, the scattered activities, the “I’d like to do something creative someday” but not acting yet, some flakiness.

I’ve found that ENFPs of college-age (roughly) and beyond can actually pull together and be quite good leaders due to tert Te. I don’t see that as much in INFPs (ISFPs more so as they have some Se-drive even though their Te is low) or in the NTPs, so that would be my guess.

I think a lot of the emotional stuff could fit many people and definitely would be affected by mental illness; thanks to the stigma of mental illness if you’re referring to emotional turmoil from depression, bipolar disorder, or personality disorders I think a lot of people default to a response much like yours, so it’s good to be aware of but I agree it’s tough to incorporate with typing. Since high Fi has been a through-line in your past typings and fits my guess of you possibly having tert-Te, I’d stick with that.