#taking pictures of bardic inspiration

[greyias]

Booted up BG3 for the first time in a good while, intending to play a bit more of the Gale Squad save file. Intent was to actually progress the story!

Got distracted making pretty new outfits for Ari.

Failed step one.

[invinciblerodent]

Silk and Silverite, the complete series (so far), by Lady Stéphanie Toutlemonde-Baliverne of Val Royeaux

in-fiction Dragon Age fiction, because why not

Silk and Silverite

Featuring no subtitle, the book was meant to be a one-off, but upon the wildly positive reception (five scarves fluttered in shock out of five!), the work was expanded into a series.

This first volume, fittingly to the title, is a fairly basic story about a whirlwind romance between a wealthy surface dwarf merchant-woman with a price on her life, and a beautiful bard (known only as "Lady Cinquefoil") that mostly follows the conventions of Orlesian bardic romances, and shocks mainly with just how explicit it is for its genre.

It's rumored to have been inspired by the author's own scandalous affair, however this is mostly due to the staggering amount of very specific details pictured, as there is next to nothing known about the secretive authoress.

Vol.02.: Lustrous Cotton

Following one of the secondary protagonists of the original Silk and Silverite, Lustrous Cotton is about a meek, scholarly mage in 9:41, now a rebel against his will, trying to make his way across the Fereldan countryside with a hired bodyguard: a tortured and complex woman, a deserter of the Templar order, who is trying to eke out a living by taking people across the wartorn Hinterlands for coin. The two, of course, fall into mad love roughly 80 pages in, and then proceed to make (both figuratively and literally explosive) love in tents and inns all over the country, before fleeing both the war and their Templar pursuers towards the Tevinter Imperium.

While controversial in its choice of protagonists, the book is commended often on its creative yet heavily eroticized use of magic, and its accuracy in depicting the difficulties of stripping off armor while in the ~throes of passion~.

Vol.03.: Vyrantium Samite

As a hard pivot from the previous two books' southern settings, the third installment of the series continues in Tevinter, and takes the reader to a fictional version of the underbelly of the upper echelons of Imperial society, featuring the entanglement of a handsome magister and an equally handsome Orlesian ex-chevalier in the heart of Minrathous. It's easily the most inaccurate to its setting of all the books, and it sparked quite a bit of controversy both with its generous blasphemies, and by coming out in the same year as Lord Gallanter Pismire's "The Magister’s Temptation", and Lord Gustave Thibault Beaumarchais’ "Champions of the Lust - To Break an Imperial Stallion", which both feature some eerily similar characters.

This, of course, fizzled out quickly, as it soon became obvious that these books were not all copies of each other, but were merely inspired by the exact same people (with Pismire and Beumarchais drawing on the Inquisitor's figure far less subtly), and Vyrantium Samite at least never used expressions like "quivering flesh-cavern", or "pulsing man-meat". (Editions after the first one feature a mysterious endorsement on the back cover signed only as "R.": "To draw from life with such boldness is a thing both wonderful, and mildly terrifying.")

Vol.04: Fade-touched Velvet

Any semblance of and overarching plot or an interconnection that the previous installments would have introduced is chucked straight out the window, as this installment is written from the perspective of Juliette, a cheeky apprentice in the newly formed College of Enchanters, and recounts her taboo romance with an enchanting desire demon seeking to possess her. (Which explains why exactly the titular "velvet" is "fade-touched".)

The demon's shapeshifting abilities are, of course, explored in extreme depth, touching on yet more Andrastian themes of blasphemy and desire that leave the average reader feeling both flustered and vaguely guilty, and the book ends with a series-atypical cliffhanger that had readers writing letter after disgruntled letter to the Randy Dowager in such numbers, that Her Ladyship had to put out a notice that she will simply stop reviewing the series if people don't stop bugging her about it. (Five scarves fluttered in shock out of five, of course.)

Vol.05.: Rough Hide

The author seems to dial the oddities back in with this installment, as it features, once more, a fairly common Orlesian plot structure and a conventional depiction of a fictional Grey Warden, a gruff and determined dwarf woman with a heart of gold, and her partner, a plucky, yet sweet recruit- a thief both petty and pretty, who chose to join the Order as an alternative to either a hanging, or a Chantry cloister.

This one, though still explicit, is cited as by far the most loving, most romantic book in the series, as the "burn" seems slowest in this one, and the characters' palpable bond tugs at the heartstrings. The two often meditate on mortality, love, and loss- mostly after bouts in the bedroll that definitely fit the title.

The dedication of this book raises eyebrows, as it is merely "Thinking Always of You".

Vol.06: TBA

The newest installment was set to be released 9:53 Dragon, but, well... it wasn't, for obvious reasons.

Rumor has it, the title was to be Paragon's Luster, and it intended to delve quite deep into Orzammar's caste politics and royalty (again, both figuratively and literally), but it'll understandably take a few years to actually be released, if it ever will be.

[dailycharacteroption]

Lion Blade (Pathfinder Second Edition Archetype)

(art by madspartan013 on DeviantArt)

When one thinks of espionage and crowded city streets, one imagines sneaky enemy agents vanishing into the crowd, befuddling or even outright escaping the heroes. (or alternatively, heroic agents using the crowd to hide from villainous authorities.)

However, there are those that would use those very crowds to undo the sneaks instead of the other way around, such as the spies and secret peacekeepers of Taldor, the Lion Blades.

While Taldor is not the picture of a perfect empire by any means, the Lion Blades are not an oppressive secret police, but rather hidden agents that root out assassins, saboteurs, spies, and the like by being unnoticed by their prey until it is too late and the crowds they sought to hide in feel more like walls closing in, leaving nowhere to hide.

Traditionally, Lion Blades are drawn from bardic training (In keeping with how the original First Edition prestige class, which I haven’t covered yet, worked), but they also draw upon many different backgrounds. As such, the Second Edition archetype has more broad, general abilities, letting their original training shine through and make for a truly unique agent.

The base dedication of being a Lion Blade provides training in disguise and stealth, as well as advanced disguise techniques to make it easier to appear as other ancestries as long as there is no extreme differences in size.

Many in the organization learn to disappear into crowds just as easily as their quarry, becoming unnoticed among the masses.

The press of the crowd can be inhibiting, and many Lion Blades take advantage of this, striking for a foe’s vulnerable points when they are surrounded.

Some Lion Blades are especially athletic runners, able to move much more quickly in the pursuit of their targets.

Just as their contemporaries may use magic to detect malicious intent, so too may assassins and spies use similar magic to notice when they’ve been found. As such, some Lion Blades learn to deceive divinatory magic as long as they can resist the initial detection.

Whether they take advantages of mundane things like disguise shifts and blind spots, or they use minor magics to distort other’s perception, some of these counter-spies can partially conceal their actions in a fight, making it hard to target them accurately.

Aside from their knack for using crowds against their foes, this archetype holds little in common with it’s First Edition namesake, but you can still emulate that legacy by combining this archetype with bardic magics and roguish tricks, no matter what base class you use. Beyond that, being sneaky and perceptive are major boons here, so classes that work well with those are very useful, but don’t be afraid to try more combat or spellcasting-oriented builds as well.

Whether you use this in the Lost Omens setting or as a basis for another counter-spy organization, this archetype is just one way to explore the complexities of intrigue and espionage. Definitely brush up on your detective and spy fiction to get some inspiration here.

The King’s Vanguard, a collection of spies working to protect the nation and the royal line, have been tracking a smuggling ring that has suddenly become more bold and well-funded recently. What they do not realize is that their new funding comes from a mad wizard seeking to smuggle a monstrous cursed sword into the city, one which he hopes to use to turn the King into a blood-hungry monster.

Espionage is, ostensibly, not the orcish way, and yet every warrior-king that has ever been close to actually uniting the various clans under one banner has made use of spies and guards to keep the influx of challengers in check, even going so far as to assassinate them in public.

Revered by the nomadic peoples up north, Thunderbirds are normally not seen in the southern Qotl Empire, but one has appeared, drawn her as if by some calling. Fearing for the nation’s safety, the king has commanded the Stalking Panthers, his elite guardians, to discover the source of this calling before the constant storms bring his people to ruin.

[archduchessgortash]

Let's talk about the Clasped Book...

The Astral Plane/Astral Sea, where Vlaakith kept the Mysterious Artifact (Astral Prism), and the Experiment on Cruor (not pictured). Here's a link, though...

Also realistic timeframes for completion of Act 1 and Act 2 up to reaching Moonrise Towers to even find the book. (This part turned into a semi-walkthrough for Act 1).

Incoming timeline theories and possible clarification to fix this weird inconsistency...

The Clasped Book implies that roughly a tenday has passed since a tadpoled Durge left Moonrise Towers on the Nautiloid. I don't think that this timeline for Durge's departure is feasible. In order for it to work, we have to speedrun the first two acts, and assume that the time required to complete the mission to steal the Astral Prism was negligible.

Let's start with the Astral Sea, where Vlaakith's stronghold was located. You can NOT spend weeks or months on the astral plane and have no time pass on the prime material plane. It will feel as though little time has passed to you, as essentially your own internal clock is going in slow-motion while you are there. However, on your home plane, time is chugging along as usual. If you spent 30 years in the Astral, then pop back into the Prime, you won't have aged at all, but your friends at home will have spent all those years without you, aging accordingly.

Time spent in the Astral cannot account for this short time frame. It, in fact, makes it even less likely to be correct, as the lack of time's impact on those in the Astral might cause them to take longer to complete tasks. At the very least, we need to appreciate that any time spent in the Astral, has also passed on Toril.

Knowing the location of Vlaakith's stronghold doesn't mean it will only take five minutes for the strike team to steal the Astral Prism. Realistically, there would be recon and planning prior to the assault, especially with the Emperor running the mission. Even controlled by an elder brain, illithid are cunning. We could assume all recon was done before Durge was moved there, which is possible. We would still need at least a day for the mission itself. The day of our escape, which starts on the Nautiloid, we land on the riverbank, and it's still daylight out. Thus the heist did not happen on that day.

In order for the Clasped Book to be accurate, we have exactly nine days to get through Act 1 and arrive at Moonrise Towers to search Balthazar's quarters.

How long does it take to get to Moonrise Towers in a non-speedrun game?

Day 1: [Post-Nautiloid] When we wake up, we've probably already blown our spell slots or other long-rest rechargeable class-specific limitations. What makes the most sense is to collect our nearby followers (Shart, Astarion & Gale), fight the brains, then long rest before continuing. We could push on, relying on our newfound companions to carry us, but most players I know don't do that. We long rest, listen to our new friends worry and complain, and now have eight days to make the timeline work.

Day 2: We clear those nearby ruins and meet everyone's favorite death god turned camp comic relief, Withers 'No' Boneman. We may or may not notice Lae'zel tucked away, cozy in her cage, but if we do, we snatch up our adorable grinch and rest again, because once more, we are out of spell slots or bardic inspiration, etc. More complaining and concerns, Lae'zel is glowering at our back constantly now, but we have seven days to make that book not a liar.

Day 3: We approach the grove and a fight breaks out. Cue Wyll's campy superhero entrance and our biggest fight so far. A little strategy ensures we win with no casualties. We save a slightly ungrateful tiefling from a bugbear, possibly kick an innocent if cranky squirrel, stop a fight or punch one or more of the humanoids involved, then head further in. Finally, we can sell all this junk... We meet Rolan [I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight playing in our heads], convince him to stay or buzz off (how could you?), then recruit Wyll. We chat up anyone who will talk to us, deal with Sazza, meet a blacksmith and a hilarious old lady who is totally NOT a hag, let Lae'zel domme a tiefling, get robbed by some kids, then watch a guy turn into a bear. We meet Volo, steal an amulet from a different bear, stop Khaga from becoming a child murderer (hopefully), learn some stuff about Shart and talk to a healer who promptly tries to kill us... unless we promise to drink poison before we turn. After five-finger discounting some sus documents, we realize we should rest again, but we'll just look around the grove a bit more. Should be safe enough, right? We take the path to the left and poof! A devil pops up. As if the day can't get weirder, we wander around, find a dead boar and Astarion acts even more sus than usual. We take our rest after that, then let a hangry, fanged twunk bite us or we stake him. Luckily for us that amulet we stole from the bear can clear our Bloodless debuff. Six days left.

Day 4: We meet Alfira (be nice to her or else!), follow the singing and save a kid from harpies. Then we loot and get Mol to give us back our stuff, but she wants us to steal the idol. It's worth doing, but not right away, so we leave the grove and head toward the Blighted Village. We meet a True Soul and get his tadpole, or not. Then we deal with an owlbear in a cave. Get more Shart lore. For Durges, the bridge is your trigger for a certain event related to your plot. We talk our way into the village, save the best deep gnome in the known universe from his plight, slap around or intimidate goblins, maybe con a few ogres, interrupt some coitus, and explore a secret door or two. Also, Gale needs to nom a necklace or something to stave off sploding. We are probably out of spells again after fighting the undead in the Alchemist's basement. We're definitely out if we failed to talk our way in and had to fight. Also Shart probably wants to talk after finding stuff. Durges might want to KO a certain bard if they want her to appear in Act 2, but then we rest again. Five days left.

Day 5: Everyone is giving our Durges the side eye, but... Spiders in the well! Spiders in the well! Toast the Matriarch and her kids, then loot thoroughly. Give a vampire a book to beat Cazador to death with. Now we either pop into the Sunlit Wetlands (Swamp) to find dirt on Khaga, or head to the goblin camp. I usually save the swamp for later, to keep buying potions from Ethel at the grove. We can also detour and grab Karlach, take out the phony paladins and talk to Scratch at this point, and I'd recommend it. Lot of looting, too. Don't forget to feed your wizard. I usually avoid the gnolls for a little bit. We talk our way into the goblin camp, then have the Astral Prism related cutscene (hello, handsome, younger man 🤔), which we know means we should rest, or we will miss story points. So that's what we do. Because we play RPGs for story. When devs link story progression to resting, their timelines are at the mercy of their players. Rest, meet Mizora, then our dream visitor, realize we are not going to be mind flayers in like 2 days, phew! Four days left to validate Balthazar's concept of time...

Day 6: We deal with the owlbear cub if he's still around (he better be, you monsters), distract an incompetent bard, find out that the goblins kidnapped a Duke, maybe bite off a goblin's toe if we want to fight the whole camp now, or steal his ring instead, chat up more gobbos, looting carefully as we go. We enter the temple, take or don't take the brand, then follow Priestess Gut and we either submit and get saved by Korilla or we beat down an old goblin lady who has a crush on Gortash (no, not me). We can work our magic to save the guy from being thrown in the spider pit if we are quick and clever enough. Then we save Volo, meet everyone's favorite BDSM boytoy Abdirak, free the overzealous lad on the rack and get his info. We con Dror Ragzlin, but don't talk to Minty yet unless you're taking her down permanently here. We can free Halsin and ask him to wait. Since a lot of this isn't combat, we can finish a bunch in one day. Once we go check out Waukeen's Rest, we have to save everyone from the fire without leaving the area or they die, and we will have gnolls to fight and Zhents to save if we approach from the fast-travel point near the paladins. Once that's all done, we will need to rest again. This leaves us with three days.

Day 7: We pop over to the swamp and grab the dirt on Khaga, then confront her and the Shadow Druids. I like keeping her alive so I can listen to Halsin yell at her when he's back. Next, we go back into the goblin camp and either begin the slow process of purging the place to fully free Halsin, or we tell Minthara about the grove. I like telling Minthara, then betraying her when she arrives so all the tieflings get to participate in defending the grove (you can KO her here to allow for Act 2 recruitment). An Elixir of Vigilance, Haste potions and Dimension Door scrolls will help focus down the spiders before they can hop the gates. I managed the battle with no casualties on Balanced difficulty. Telling Minthara means we have to rest again for progression. 2 days remain.

Day 8: We save the grove, Halsin shows up, we can talk to everyone, and tonight we have a party to attend. We can carefully steal the idol now under the cover of a darkness scroll, arrow or spell. We can run around and do a few more things, like mop up the rest of the goblin camp, and we do, but we want our party! So we rest, give Mol the idol, get lots of conversations, time with our LI, and now we have 1 day left...

Day 9: Auntie Ethel and the Underdark. If she doesn't take all your limited, rest-dependent resources, the minotaurs or the spectator will. Not to mention the hook horrors, the bulette, and the hostile Duergar if you side with the Myconids. And don't forget the Arcane Tower... We also get to meet the only illithid that is better alive than dead. [Sorry, Empy, I hate your face] So we need to rest again before we go to the Grymforge, leaving us out of days...

Finishing the Grymforge and entering the Shadow-Cursed Lands (if we want to get yelled at and wait to do the Crèche until right before the Gauntlet of Shar) could be done in one day if we beelined to Moonrise Towers, but we would miss so much story doing that... and possibly get more npcs we like killed in the process. It wouldn't make sense to me at all to do that.

To finish everything, I think we would need at least 5 more days before even entering Act 2. I know we need a few rests in the Shadow-Cursed Lands to progress follower storylines, too. For my characters, we are usually in Moonrise Towers by late Eleint, meaning 20-30 long rests have been done since day 1 of the game. I did a few extras to 'clear the queue' to ensure I didn't miss story scenes, but still... more than a tenday.

The answer? Longer than 9 days.

So, how do we explain the dates?

It is my thinking that Durge was gone on the Nautiloid for much longer than one day, and that completing the game up to Moonrise Towers takes any reasonable, non-speedrunning player more than nine long rests.

I suspect the intention of the dates is to indicate that Durge was shipped out on the nautiloid a tenday before the first in-game day: the 20th of Eleasis, 1492, meaning they left on the 10th. Since we can technically get to the book on the first day if we speedrun, this seems the most likely explanation.

So when did Durge get attacked?

Yet another debatable timeline point...

Experiment on Cruor begins with a journal entry dated the 3rd of Nightal (irl December). There's no year in the entries. Context tells us this is Orin's log regarding the arrival of her butler and leads us to believe it is written after she attacked Durge. Baldur's Gate 3 starts on the 20th of Eleasis (irl August) in the Year of Three Ships Sailing 1492 DR. Ergo, Orin's log must have been written in 1491 or possibly earlier. This source is the reason most of us place Durge's disappearance no later than the first couple of days in Nightal 1491.

Our supposition is that Orin received her butler after she became Bhaal's Chosen. Dialogue with Sceleritas in-game seems to imply this as well (can't find a clip, sorry).

However, it seems that Durge had Sceleritas with them prior to becoming Bhaal's Chosen, given that the obsequious imp was present during the events of Blood in Baldur's Gate, which took place in 1477.

Torlin Silvershield became Bhaal's Chosen around 1482, following the Murder Lord's resurrection (when the last two of the original Bhaalspawn conceived while Bhaal was trapped in a mortal form were slain). Thayans snatched Silvershield and turned him into a wight sometime after that.

While many other gods have multiple chosen at the same time, Bhaal doesn't seem to do that. Orin had to challenge or in some other way defeat Durge in order to become the new Chosen. Thus, Durge probably wasn't the Chosen at the time of Blood in Baldur's Gate. They likely assumed the mantle in 1482 or later. And yet, Sceleritas was with them.

It is possible that Durge is just special, being Bhaal's favored offspring, and was given their butler before becoming the Chosen.

I went down this particular rabbit hole for devil's advocating the option of invalidating before Nightal 1491 as the time of disappearance. Not to fit any particular headcanon. It just occurred to me. It's possible that Orin might have received her butler when she became a contender for Chosen, not immediately following nonconsensually lobotomizing her bloodkin. This could mean that Durge may have been gone for a much longer or a much shorter period of time.

But what about the line: mind-mangled bloodkin?

Doesn't that prove the journal came after?

Only if you want it to. Orin greatly disapproves of Durge. She could easily have considered them mentally unsound prior to the attack. Because of the way the rest of the journal is worded, it's easy to assume she's already the Chosen at this point, but she doesn't necessarily have to be. She could be postulating on the future. For that reason, if someone wants to think Durge hasn't been gone as long as most of the fandom agrees they were, there's no definitive in-game proof that they're wrong.

Anyhoo... there's wiggle room even in-canon if y'all want your Durges to have only been missing for a few months, instead of nearly the full gestational period of a fetus.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Night (2) Masterlist

part one

A Shared Melody (ao3) - httphowell

Summary: After a couple glasses of wine, Dan and Phil lounge on the couch in their cozy living room, the late-night silence broken when Phil softly asks, “Play something for me on the piano?” Dan smiles, getting up, and as his fingers gently dance across the keys

all was okay (ao3) - awrfdnp

Summary: Dan helps Phil through an anxiety attack in the middle of the night.

Bardic Inspiration (ao3) - dickiegreenleaf

Summary: Dan is a travelling bard looking for a safe place for him and his beloved horse to spend the night. Thankfully, the local tavern owner, Phil, can offer him one.

dangender (ao3) - classichysteria

Summary: it’s late at night and dan just wants to talk about what’s on his their mind

don't wanna walk alone (so let's get married) (ao3) - lesbaurinkos (pluginbaby)

Summary: Phil’s always been a little wistful about the idea, some part of him a bit hopelessly romantic, perhaps, but his mind always catches on the thought of marrying Dan.

(or: marriage chats on a saturday night)

Experience is key (ao3) - ottertrashpalace

Summary: On a fateful late-night walk, Dan happens across two oddly familiar young men in the park.

five am (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil is rightfully grumpy when he wakes up in the middle of the night and there's no Dan beside him to warm him up.

good things (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan can't sleep, so he indulges Phil in some late night cuddles and a little game.

i could listen to you all night long (ao3) - overmyhead

Summary: The night before Dan gets on the train to Manchester for the first time.

i need you to stay (ao3) - poemstomars

Summary: Dan wakes up to a panic attack in the middle of the night, and Phil is there to comfort him.

in the dark (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: Phil wakes halfway. It’s impossible not to.

(a sleepless night, winter 2020)

Late Night Writing (ao3) - GayFandomNerd

Summary: Phil finds Dan writing his book at 3am, and stays up with him until he finishes.

look how (the stars) shine for you (ao3) - howell_slide

Summary: Two boys looking at the night sky together, 14 years apart.

marriage is just a piece of paper (ao3) - howell_slide

Summary: In the middle of the night in Manchester sometime in 2011, two young men get engaged.

Of Tears and Melodies (ao3) - moonharbinger

Summary: Dan has a habit of playing the piano at ungodly hours. Phil can't do anything but love him for it.

Perfect like a picture, even when they look through the grains (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: Dan and Phil having a cozy night in with red wine, taking photos for a holiday card and taking videos for each other.

Safe With Me (ao3) - Sillylittleroomba

Summary: Dan and Phil have always had two bedrooms, but that doesn't mean much.

Or: Phil can't sleep on the first night back home during their break from tour. Dan is always the solution to this problem.

A frankly irresponsible amount of domestic fluff, set January 2025.

silent and sure, keeping watch in the night (ao3) - gaydreaming

Summary: Phil has always loved being on tour. The adventure, the sounds of the tour bus, the way his quality time with Dan takes on a different shape. On the road between Oslo and Helsinki, he sees some beautiful stars through the bus window and wakes Dan up in the middle of the night to enjoy them with him.

Sleep (Don't Count On It) (ao3) - indistinct_echo

Summary: In the middle of the night, Phil struggles through a panic attack.

sleepy hog (ao3) - ShiwiSins (IetjeSiobhan)

Summary: It takes him a moment of disoriented, sleepy blinking to realise the noise he’s missing is Phil’s snoring.

Or: a semi-sleepless night on tour with Dan and Phil.

slow dancing in the dark (ao3) - wilhelmvidz

Summary: dan and phil slow dance in the middle of the night because they can.

stop the world i wanna get off with you (ao3) - manchesterau

Summary: A domestic night in the life of Phil the vampire and Dan the witch.

"that's what makeup is for!" (ao3) - latenightfanfic

Summary: dnp finally have a night alone to themselves in a hotel after a few drinks after being cooped up in a tour bus.

the more i sit and think, more that time runs slow (ao3) - sunflowerwitches (orphan_account)

Summary: rain on the roof in the middle of the night. you took all the covers but everything was right

this inhuman place (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Phil stays overnight in a haunted hotel to try and catch some ghosts on camera.

The ghosts don't react to well to that.

we freak on the cam (ao3) - freelydopefun

Summary: Two Boys. Late Night Webcalls. Cords getting tangled up in unusual places

Werewolf by Night (ao3) - silentdescant

Summary: Dan remembers when these woods scared him. The dark doesn’t seem so oppressive now; he can see the bright light of the full moon through the gaps in the trees, and the forest floor is as easy for him to navigate as if it were daytime. The sounds of nature similarly don’t bother him anymore. There’s only one predator here worth worrying about.

whale watching (ao3) - starlight_kth

Summary: Dan gets sick in the middle of the night and spends most of it curled up on the floor. At least Phils there, right?

with you by my side (ao3) - schnaf

Summary: Dan and Phil spend their first night together. But Dan can’t fall asleep.

[transmogrified-in-the-void]

Chapter 3

Cato gets to join in on a practice sesh of Bardic Inspiration! It goes great!

Virtue sips at their coffee as the TV broadcast plays. “Notorious villain The Disparaged Baron has finally been apprehended by A-Class hero Brass Dagger. While their fight left many without a place to sleep, many more will no longer have to fear for their lives. The Hero Agency of America has offered to help rebuild those who had their homes destroyed. My name is Daven Blockett, and this is the morning news.”

The TV then shows a short video of the end of the fight. Disparaged Baron, dressed as a Musketeer, runs at Bronze Dagger with a thin sword. Bronze Dagger sidesteps the charge, and throws Baron up 20 feet into the air. There’s a glimmer as Dagger throws something, and the footage cuts to the main news desk.

“I can’t imagine doing that.” Airael walks into the living room and sits next to Virtue on the couch.

“Doing what, Hero work?” Virtue asks as they take another sip.

“I guess. I mostly mean getting involved with Powered fights.” He clarifies. “I know my Power would technically be classified as Consumption, but it still gives me an exponential boost to my physical limits. Which means that if I got involved with a fight, no matter which side I was on, both villain and Hero would try and get me out of the picture first.”

Virtue nods along as he explains. “I couldn’t even imagine what they’d do to Gemini if she got into a Power fight, or Absinthe if they-” Virtue cuts themselves off, not wanting to finish the sentiment. Airael understands, though, and sighs.

“This shit sucks.”

“More than I could imagine.”

Gemini wanders in with a piece of toast, and she raises an eyebrow at the now glum mood of the living room. “Did the kid get into a car accident? What’s with the mood?”

“Powers.” Airael says. Gemini takes a big bite of her toast, and takes her time chewing it as she thinks over the implications of that word.

Gemini swallows, and stomps over in front of the TV. She faces the pair on the couch with a sharp glare. “We can get back to the doom and gloom of our life later. Absinthe has everything set up, so all we need is Kid Strings to get his ass over here. So get your asses in there right now.”

Virtue stands up and drains the rest of their coffee. “You’re bad at pep talks.” They note, and Gemini whacks them.

“Yeah, but I got you going so I win.”

Airael gets to his feet, and wraps Gemini up in his arms. “You’re right, we gotta go make some kick ass music.”

Virtue turns off the TV and moves to the emptied out master bedroom that has become the practice space of Bardic Inspiration. Absinthe is taking out her old beat up electric guitar and leaning it up on the wall. Everything else has been set up, there’s sheets of music that Michael left behind on the one and only table in the room.

Absinthe turns around and lights up. “Oh! Hey V, didn’t see you there.”

“Most people don’t.” Virtue shrugs as they make their way to the chair put up just for them. “It’s a gift.”

“Man, what I’d do for that.” Absinthe groans.

“For being unnoticed?”

“For having a gift.”

The familiar heavy click of the front door opening cuts through the conversation before Virtue can make a response, and they hear Gemini welcome whoevers at the door with a saccharine voice. Airael mutters something, and the voice of Cato responds monotonously.

Three sets of footsteps start to make way to the practice room, and Absinthe starts to move around.

“V, he’s here, oh my god he’s here, we get to play together, I can’t believe it, can you believe it? I’m so excited, you have no-” She cuts herself off as Gemini, Airael, and Cato show up in the doorframe. “Hi!”

Gemini slides into the room as Absinthe rushes forwards to greet Cato. She shakes his hand and drags him inside, making a wide gesture to the humble setup. “Welcome to where the magic happens!”

“Uh, cool.” Cato mutters as he steps out of Absinthe’s grip. His eyes flick around, first to Virtue, then to the drum set, then to the electric guitar harmlessly sitting against the wall. “You guys, uh, already have a guitar.”

“Told ya.” Gemini elbows Cato’s ribs, making him flinch. “We didn’t know if you only had an acoustic or not. There’s also some music for the songs we’re gonna practice today on the table, if you wanna look through them.” She gestures to the handwritten sheet music, and walks behind her drum set and drops down in the seat. She grabs her drumsticks and starts to idly rap them on the rim of the snare.

Airael makes his entrance quietly, and struts to the purple and gold bass on the stand next to the drums. As he slides it on, he glances at Cato. “Last chance to jump ship, kid.”

Cato’s hand twitches, and he storms to the guitar and slings it over his shoulder. “I’m not a kid. You guys aren’t that much older than me.”

Virtue raises an eyebrow. Airael turns around and shrugs, looking bored. “We’re all out of college, and by the looks of it you’d barely’ve started if you went. Kid.”

The pair lock into a staredown, with Airael betraying no emotion in his eyes, while Cato’s are laser focused in to catch anything. Gemini stifles a snicker, and her green eyes light up with amusement as she catches Absinthe’s eye.

Her eyes dart between Cato and Airael, and wiggles her eyebrows with a large grin. Absinthe almost chokes as the laugh tries to escape her mouth, but she holds it back. Gemini and Absinthe try to hold it in, but it’s too much, and they burst into a fit of giggles and laughter, causing Airael and Cato to stop whatever they were doing.

“What’s so funny?” Cato asks, hands gripping the neck of the guitar. 

Airael whips his head around to Virtue. “What did she do?” He asks with wide eyes. “What the fuck did she do?”

Virtue looks at Gemini, who tilts her head forwards and does an overexaggerated wink, causing Absinthe to break down with laughter. Virtue sighs, and pats Cato’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. They’re like this sometimes.”

They look back to see Airael now leaning over the drums and talking to Gemini, who’s grin has gotten larger as she shakes her head. Absinthe is leaning on a wall, trying to catch her breath, but sometimes still releasing a few giggles. They sigh again, bring their thumb and pointer finger to their mouth, and whistle. The band jump at the sudden noise. Airael clutches his bass, Gemini holds her drumsticks in an ‘X’ in front of her, and Absinthe takes an absurd looking fighting stance. Cato takes a step back.

“Get to practicing. We don’t have all day.” Virtue says, and they make direct eye contact with each band member. “And we certainly don’t have our guest here all day either.”

With that, Absinthe jumps into action. She double checks that Airael and Gemini are all good to go, and makes sure that the guitar Cato’s borrowing is in tune and works fine. Once everyone is set to go, she connects the microphone and takes out the piece of paper that has the practice “schedule” on it.

“Uh, it says we’re practicing ‘Truth or Dare’, ‘No Regrets’, and ‘Sandcastles’ today. Why does it say ‘Sandcastles’ in there, that’s a piano solo.” She looks back at Airael. “Rae, you wrote the list.”

Airael shrugs. “I thought that having your best song for our guitarist would be a good idea.”

Cato mutters something about not being a guitarist while Absinthe looks at the scribbles with narrowed eyes. Then she crumples up the paper and throws it at the table. “Okay, we can do that. But let’s start with a quick runthrough of ‘No Regrets’. We didn’t play that at the last venue, so I want to see what needs some work.”

Cato flips through the stack of papers, and his eyes flick over each page with the same sort of focus he gave Airael. Then he runs forwards, drops them on the table, and runs back into place.

Gemini raps the beat with her drumsticks, and then she and Airael jump into a hard and fast rhythm. She leans forwards into the microphone set up over her drums, and screams.

“OH MY GOD THIS REALLY FUCKING SUCKS! I STILL LOVE YOUR STUPID FUCKING MUG! GOT HIT BY A FUCKING TRUCK! AND YOU’RE HERE STILL GIVING FUCKING FUCKS!” Her voice is guttural and animalistic as her hands move wildly across the drumset. She holds the last vowel as the bass and drums stop and the sound drops away.

She closes the word harshly, and restarts her playing; albeit, more restrained. Airael joins in at the same time, playing the low and slow baseline as Cato takes a deep breath, and starts playing with everyone for the first time. 

He plays incredibly well, and although the melody he plays on the guitar is different from what Michael played, it still fits well with everything else. But Virtue already knew that Cato was good, they knew that he would fit in with the band sonically. They’re waiting for Absinthe to sing.

Absinthe looks at Virtue, and nods. She rolls her shoulders back, stands tall, and opens her mouth.

“I cried alone again today.” Her voice is the winter sun cutting through the abyssal surrounding darkness. “It’s hard to heal this heartbreak. I’d rather have loved you here, but you decided to disappear.”

The weight of grieving a love and friendship suddenly lost shoves its way into Virtue’s chest as the words lilt off Absinthe’s tongue. Cato jolts, but doesn’t stop playing as he moves his eyes to look at the singer.

“Hey, it’s me, it’s about us. You said we’re still in love. And I cry curled in my bed, about the last text you sent. Who could have guessed that this is how our story ends?” Even through the waves of heartbreak and sadness, Absinthe smiles as she lowers the microphone. Gemini and Airael play their parts with the anger they’ve always infused them with, and Cato moves his fingers across the frets. He plays a dissonant melody, counteracting the smooth major that Absinthe had been singing. Absinthe’s grin gets larger.

As they continue through the song, it’s a constant fight of three emotions. Anger, from Gemini and Airael, grief, from Absinthe, and desperate confusion from Cato. The sound gets louder and louder, everyone fighting more and more, until Cato suddenly strikes a power chord, and the drums and bass stop. Airael and Gemini are looking at Cato with curiosity as Absinthe brings the mic to her lips one last time.

“I hold no regrets.” She sings lightly. “You were my best friend. But this is the end.”

There’s a still, anticipating moment. The air holds its breath as the last of the grief fades into acceptance, and fades into nothing. Absinthe breaks the silence with a ragged gasp, and she rubs at her eyes for a moment before looking at Cato.

“Are you sure you don’t want to be our guitarist?” Her voice is no longer crystalline, but instead thick and heavy. Her fingers pick at the edge of her skirt and the jeans beneath it. 

Cato takes a moment. He looks at Gemini, then Airael, then to his own hands holding a guitar that isn’t his own. “I- uh.” He stammers, and clutches the guitar tightly. “I, I think so.”

A shuddering weight is released from Absinthe. She grins, nods, and turns to the rest of her bandmates. “Cool! So I think we did really good at the first few verses, but at the second chorus we accidentally got a little lost in the middle of everything and it took some time to get back, so let’s start around there.”

Virtue huffs a laugh and shakes their head. They knew, of course, that Cato would say yes. Absinthe is the golden apple just out of reach, the clear water you’ll never drink, but just knowing it exists is enough to sate an appetite.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Some Game HC's I have about Riddler:

BTAS Riddler loves playing DnD both as a player (always a caster) and as the DM. He is a game developer in the 90's so you bet your ass he was the fliperama kid. Everyday he went to the local game station (and later started exploring and looking for different ones all across Gotham) with only one coin. He played once against a player in a winning streak beting coins and he always won and would accept bets from challengers. He was abble to play all day with only one coin because he never lost a bet.

Gotham Riddler is another DnD nerd and a gamer. But I think he had more money growing up than BTAS Riddler and actually played games in a gameboy. He got a summer job so he could buy more games than Mario and Pokemon. Also I'm sorry but Gotham Riddler never played DnD, that man was born to be a DM and is likely the one DM that didn't became one because it's harder to find a DM than a party so you DM once and now that's your fate.

Arkham Riddler plays Magic The Gathering. He also plays DnD and he is the insufurable player that goes out of the way to create the most OP characthers completly full of combos and makes everything boring for everyone else because he slays too hard. He is insuferable playing Magic as well but at least he is being insuferable against his adversaries. He lost his original deck after being arrested the first time and somehow it ended on young Barbara Gordon's hands. The small time period were pre teen Barbara was the biggest Magic nerd and forced a confused Jim to play was probably the worst thing Riddler ever did to comissioner Gordon and that includes killing his co-workers and friends. Later Barbara went to play it with Jason and Tim (who she isn't dating cause ew), Bernard joined at some point.

The last DnD player is Unburied Riddler who is the opposite to Arkham: he always plays as a bard and he is the biggest follower of the rule of cool/the wonders of RP ever. He knows the rule book upside down but he never really followed the rules, he just sweet talks the DM and the tabble into letting him role for his insane plans to the point that after he basically forced Barbara and Bruce to play with him (Barbara asked Montoya to DM) no one on the tabble even knew what bardic inspiration actually did until Alfred heard them playing and as a closeted DnD nerd got incrisingly distressed by Eddie's "gameplay style". Since then Montoya joined the tabble as a paladim and Alfred is the DM. Instead of analysing what to pick to upgrade his characther Eddie spends all the time trying to find ways to sweet talk Alfred (the hardest DM to bullshit ever) into letting him do his thing. Right now his best trick is to make Bruce either join or get excited for the result because Alfred has a soft spot for his son Master Bruce.

Zero Year Riddler for all his cool persona is a nerd and not only he colects all different editions of War (yes the boardgame, the ancient Greece one is his favorite) but he plays competitive Pokemon (both online and the card game). While he is a good Pokemon player he did lose to an incredible good 12yo and he cried a whole day before trying to extract revenge. Unfortunaly for Ed the kid was from Metropolis and there was a change, small as it was, that Superman could get involved and Eddie isn't really one to get his ass beat by Superman.

Still on the card games BTAA Riddler plays Yu-Gi-Oh. He somehow understands the rules and is good on it. Miss Tuesday used to make fun of him for it until Autum acidentaly introduced her to Bakugan. If you play Bakugan you can't make fun of other people's card game choices. BTAA Riddler also plays Pokemon Go, he started because he thought it was hip and cool (he isn't even that old, he is like 30 but he just wants to be cool with the teens that badly already) and kept going because he really likes to take random pictures of pokemon on normal day things, he also loves shinny hunting. He does it on the actual game as well. He never actually played the whole Pokemon story, he just shinny hunts a lot and stops playing after he catched enough cool shinnies. He has some of the first one to capture the shinng videos and a shinny hunting secret twitter.

[Not a Riddler one but BTAS Joker also plays Yu-Gi-Oh because one has to be mad to understand all the different invocation rules (I say that as a former Yu-Gi-Oh nerd). Harley also plays Yu-Gi-Oh on BTAS but she downplays her talents to let Joker win when she is actually insanely good at it.]

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

WOOOO!! Congrats on the 6,000!!!! 🥳🙌✨ I’m so happy for youuuuu~!!

Fandom I’d like to be shipped in: Baldur’s Gate 3 please 🙏

Gender I’d like to be shipped with: Any

Description of my personality:

Word I would use to describe myself: creative. Word others might use to describe me: friendly (alternatively: dramatic). I love people, but sometimes I get exhausted and need some alone time after interactions. Except with kiddos—I could play make-believe and be asked 9million questions by all the children all day and still be good to go on all the adventures. I have strong emotions but sometimes I get stuck in a dissociative state and have trouble expressing things—it takes some grounding for me to stay present. Music is my first love, but I’m studying to be a medical herbalist at the moment. Being outside exploring and foraging soothes me just as much as curling up inside on a rainy day with a good book and a cup of herbal tea. I tend to roam and don’t like to close myself off to different experiences, but at the same time I crave a safe place to call home, and I endeavor to make that place a safe haven for all who enter.

Who I would ship you with and why:

Okay, I kept going back and forth in my bed for your ship, so I’m picking two! 🤗

1. Astarion. Because I feel like you would get on like bread ‘n’ butter. Both respecting each others’ space but also being there for each other too when needed. You’d have a relationship based on deep understanding and mutual respect—you get each other. And neither of you judge the other for what you feel or the boundaries you both might have. Also, with his love for reading he’s definitely going to encourage you to finish writing your books so he can read them. Also, picture this: you writing away, Astarion’s head resting in your lap—every now and then you pause in your writing, absentmindedly running your fingers through Astarion’s soft curls as you think about what to put on the page next. You swear you hear Astarion purr like a cat. You look down at him and he’s the picture of pure contentment: eyes closed, body relaxed, face blissfully serene. He might not be moving from your lap for a while, but you don’t mind. You go back to writing, a sense of renewal I washes through mind as you feel the comforting weight of his body against yours.

2. Gale. Because I know you both are going to infodump on each other—and you both absolutely adore when the other is off on another tangent about something they’re passionate about. Gale feels utterly cherished when you listen him talk about the things near and dear to him. He’s never really had anyone listen to him as attentively as you do. He usually finds people are prone switching off and zoning out so he’ll cut himself off. But not with you. The look of genuine interest you give him, and the questions you ask never fail to warm his heart and spur his enthusiasm on. He is more than willing and happy to return the favor for you and finds himself more captivated by you with every word that passes through your lips. He also completely understands what he’s like to be lost in one’s own head. So he has no qualms about you needing alone time. Also it doesn’t hurt that Tara absolutely adores you—she even lets you rub her belly and she doesn’t even let Gale do that.

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P.S. I’m waaay more active on my side blog @i-cast-bardic-inspiration but I can’t send asks from there…I didn’t know side blogs couldn’t send asks until after I established mine :’) so anyway, if I reblog or respond from that one, just know—it meeeee~! ✨

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P.P.S. Congratulations again—you deserve all the best!! Because you are:

✨ T h e B e s t ✨

I ship you with Wyll

You two strike the perfect balance of wanting the same things out of life while also being different enough to keep things interesting.

Wyll wants to help people, first and foremost, but at the same time, wants a home he can call his own. With you, he can have both.

You two could have so many adventures together. He would be enraptured by your knowledge of nature and how you use it to help cure others. He'd want to show you everything, telling tales of his own travels and promising to take your there to see them for yourself.

At the same time, knowing he can build a home with you is everything to him. He would love nothing more than to be able to curl up with you after a long day and drink tea. He will dance with you in the kitchen, humming a song into your ears. Just imagine the two of you playing with a bunch of kiddos. You're everyone's favorite baby sitters!

It's the place the pair of you can retreat to when it gets to be too much. He knows it's sometimes difficult for you to experience all the emotions you feel as deeply as you do. He'll be more than patient, allowing you to work through them rather than force you to pretend they don't exist. It's one of the things he loves about you.

In conclusion, let this prince charming sweep you off your feet. He is begging to!

I'm weeping. I love them both so much. Thank you! This is a polycule I can get behind.

6k Follower Celebration (requests are still open)

(4/30)

[leaperfr0gg]

Ok I have a funny thing to tell.

In my Dungeons and Dragins campaign that just finished,[after almost a year of playtime] My players/friends did something so stupid it worked and I hate myself that I didn't plan for this because it's them. Ok so picture this, a giant castle laiden in darkness. The great shadow god Erebus has been ruling over this kingdom and spreading his reign over the whole continent for thousands of years. The only thing stopping him from taking over the mortal plane is the fact that half of his power was sealed inside an amulet made by the gods to stop him. Gods who lost. The amelt hidden away to time.

My players found the amulet and here they were in the final boss chamber along side Erebus. One of my players, a Dragon born Paladin, had some beef with the god because he had turned their father into the general of his shadow army and wanted to know how he had turned their father. With their NAT 20 [they were that angry] they had received pity from the god and began to go on about how he found him ect ect. The thing is, one of my other players realised they were about to fight GOD, quite Literally, and came up with the most dumbest idea ever. While the god was distracted, the player asked me "Can we persuade the god to get in the amulet"?

[sigh]

you can see where this is going.

I told them that he was a god and the only way to do that is to get an ridiculous high roll, like waaaaaay over a 20.

Everyone chipped in.

Bardic inspiration. Guidance. Everything they could give them.

They decided the way they were going to do it was to DANCE AND SING AT HIM TO GET IN! I rolled to see if the LITERAL GOD would ignore it.

I lost the roll.

My players burst into song and danced to distract the god and then chucked the amulet at him so that he would be sealed. It worked. THEY HERCULES MUSICAL NOTED THE LITERAL GOD OF SHADOWS. MY 1200 HP GOD WITH THE ATTACKS THAT COULD 1 SHOT KILL THEM. THEY DANCED AND SANG LIKE THE FREAKING 4 GRACES FROM HERCULES AND IT WORKED. I didn't attack them once. They killed a god without getting a scratch on themselves.

[sonneillonv]

D&D Frustrations. I hate it when my characters are typecast.

In the Tuesday D&D game I'm currently playing in (run by the owner of the shop where I run a Heroes of Dragonsgate game on Sundays) I started out playing Tyrian, a blind cleric dedicated to a god/dess of love and beauty who functions as sort of a sacred prostitute/intimate healer. But opportunities to exercise that philosophy weren't abundant and it turned out the group, which was composed primarily of secondary healers, didn't need a primary healer. So I switched to Za'elindiel, Z for short - a Lore Bard.

Z is a tiefling born to a succubus, raised in a family of Incubi/Succubi in Azzagrat. He's not native to the material plane; he's native to the Abyssal layer of Rauwend where his huge extended family (I headcanon Concubi living in rather massive and complex polycules they refer to as 'covens' and raising their children communally) pursues a wuxia-inspired courtier tradition. Z practices martial arts, swordsmanship, music, archery, calligraphy, and other pursuits necessary to be considered a 'gentleman' in Azzagrat's society. He joined the 116th Ebon Legion and was trained as an intelligence agent. He adventures on the material plane as a cover for intel-gathering, sabotage, and other tradecraft.

Z has spent most of his life dealing with the stereotypes people have about incubi. He's well aware he's expected to seduce everything that moves, which is something he patently has no desire to do. Tyrian was sexually liberal, open, and happy to spread compassion and tenderness and free love across the 'verse. Tyrian passionately believes that people improve when they receive external love and support, so providing that love and support brightens the world. Tyrian thinks every person in the world, even those who seem the most wicked, has something in them worth loving.

Z is not Tyrian.

Z doesn't have the same philosophy, doesn't like people touching him, and REALLY does not like people assuming he's anyone's whore. His Guqin, which is his primary bardic instrument, is literally named 凤仙花 / Fèngxiān Huā - "Touch-Me-Not". His sword is named 抵制 / Dǐ Zhì, "Refusal". He really could not be clearer about how disinterested he is in the 'free love' movement. He and Tyrian are good friends who stay up all night drinking, playing strategy games, and debating the nature of good, evil, and samsara together. They disagree about a great deal, but they respect each other.

My DM is under the impression I'm still playing Tyrian. He's repeatedly made references to Z's perceived sexual availability and recently had him be 'chosen' by the same god/dess of love that Tyrian serves. Z is now carrying around artifacts dedicated to that god/dess, and because he doesn't actually serve that deity, he's living in constant low-grade fear of being smote to ashes for blasphemy, because the god/dess is a good-aligned deity and he is a neutral evil demon.

His stop-gap, currently, is a vow made to that god/dess in prayer that he will ONLY use the artifacts to try to survive the dungeon where he found them. Once he's no longer in a constant life-or-death situation, he will deliver the artifacts to Tyrian's sect so they can be in the hands of true believers. For this service, he hopes the god/dess will forgive him for briefly taking advantage of their powerful magic and NOT, y'know, raze his soul to the ground.

And I'm just picturing the session where he actually does that, and my DM is baffled that anyone would surrender such powerful magic items, and I have to remind him, AGAIN, that

Z.

is.

not.

TYRIAN.

[wolf-and-bard]

Bad Reputation

Part 2 I Part 3 I Part 4

Jaskier/Eskel, ~1.3k, rated T, no warnings

Written for @thewitcherbog fic train event together with @kueble, @professorjaskier, and @softdarlingjaskier so be on the lookout for their parts in the next few days. It was so much fun!! 😊💕

---

“Ta-da,” Jaskier says with a flourish of his hand, and gestures at the dress-form he has set up in the middle of the living area of his rooms at Oxenfurt, all furniture pushed to the side. The mannequin is clad in a positively stunning arrangement, an unpretentious doublet of deep burgundy with subtly golden ribbons at the cuffs and seams, a matching pair of cotton breeches. Underneath, an almost-black silken shirt. It’s plain for Jaskier’s tastes and habits, but it’s perfect for its recipient whose suspicious gaze is currently flicking between Jaskier and the clothes. 

“What is that?” Eskel asks, arms crossed loosely over his chest. He’s wearing his typical red-and-dark stripe with those small spikes on the shoulders that Jaskier thinks are honestly ridiculous. Not big enough to work as any form of weaponry or defense mechanism, too dismissable to count as a fashion statement. Yeah, right. Wolves and fashion. Ridiculous.

Jaskier snorts and watches Eskel watch the dress-form, wary and uncomprehending to a point that is just adorable. 

“That, my dear witcher, is an outfit. Your outfit to be precise. That is to say, the outfit you will wear tonight.” Jaskier puts on his brightest sunlight-smile, hoping it will cover up the awkwardness he can feel tightening his throat. This could have started better. But then again, this could have started so much worse. Eskel could already be out the door what with him just having arrived, swords still strapped to his back, one hand fisted around the plain linen sack he keeps most of his belongings in. 

“Do I look like Geralt to you?” Eskel asks, brow raised which contorts the landscape of scars that cover half his face, stretching them out. Jaskier’s fingers itch to reach out and trace them, they always do whenever Eskel graces him with a visit to his apartment.

It’s about the only place they ever cross paths. With Geralt, Jaskier is bound to stumble into him in the most ridiculous of places and predicaments, as though Destiny wills it so. With Eskel… well. Jaskier learned early on in their acquaintance that finding Eskel anywhere takes effort, so it’s easier to have Eskel find him. The wolf sticks to himself almost all year round, avoids big cities and gets by on mysterious, long-winded contracts that take him to places most of the rest of the world has forgotten about. Jaskier has never once accompanied Eskel on one of his hunts, and that is perhaps why he often feels that a certain distance remains between them, no matter how often Eskel comes around.

And Eskel does, with striking regularity. At least once, whenever Jaskier’s staying in Oxenfurt for longer than a handful of days. He’ll always bring something too; a fine Toussaint vintage for them to share, a hearty piece of salt-crystal cheese for them to put on their bread, some pickled fish straight from the Skellige Isles. It isn’t always edible or drinkable, sometimes it’s useful like a pretty button or a new set of lute strings. There is no rhyme or reason to Eskel’s little gifts, just one thing that threads through them, and it is that every time, they take Jaskier by surprise. Eskel is so very reliable and Jaskier’s brain still hesitates to form expectations. Expectations can get crushed and he has already invested more heart into this relationship than is strictly healthy.

“Jaskier?” Eskel asks into the silence which has speeded by for Jaskier with his mind reminiscing, but which must have dragged excessively for the witcher. To Eskel’s credit, he doesn’t show the slightest twitch of impatience. 

“Of course you don’t,” Jaskier says, shuddering inwardly. Outwardly, his smile freezes over.

You look nothing like Geralt, he doesn’t say though he knows that with taking away the scars and dyeing Geralt’s hair, they would look strikingly similar. There are no pictures of Eskel before, but it didn’t even need Vesemir telling Jaskier this for the bard to notice. They have the same cut of jawline, same set of their shoulders, a similar nose. But that’s artificial and if one looks closely, the similarities start to fall away pretty quickly.

You look much more beautiful than him – sorry Geralt, but it’s true, is what Jaskier also doesn’t say even though his rapidly beating heart keeps commanding him to.

“Then why would I wear this? What for?”

“Oh nothing special, just a wee little occasion, really.”

“Jaskier…”

“A-hem, right. The school-board is throwing a fancy dinner party tonight and I have been invited as a guest. I thought you might want to join me… be my partner if you will.”

Oh, but that feels daring. That feels very daring. 

Eskel cocks his head, golden eyes boring into Jaskier’s. Jaskier feels his cheeks heat and licks his lips. 

“Can’t I go the way I am?” the witcher asks finally. 

“Ah, well,” Jaskier says and swallows. “Well, you see… there’s nothing wrong with the way you are, necessarily, but… it’s, well. They are very important people and I have a certain standing within the university. A reputation to maintain, if you will.”

“You?” Eskel raises a brow. “A reputation to maintain?”

A reputation other than drinking and whoring around, is what Eskel doesn’t say, but it is heavily implied and not even in a condescending manner. Eskel knows Jaskier the flamboyant bard, Jaskier the man with an eye for a good party, Jaskier that will drag any conquest into his bed regardless of whether there’s a witcher crashing in his guest bedroom or not. And even though Eskel’s been visiting him in Oxenfurt, in his rooms at the heart of the academy, Professor Pankratz is a complete stranger to both Eskel and Geralt. They know of him, of course, but they don’t know him.

“Yes, me,” Jaskier says. “A Professor at this university and highly valued member of several poet’s societies and bardic unions.”

“Trust a fucking academic to demand I dress up for him.”

“Didn’t I tell you not to trust anyone around here?” Jaskier retorts in what he hopes is a light note, but something has settled in the pit of his stomach at Eskel’s words, even though they were meant in jest. If this was Geralt, there would have been a deeper meaning woven into the words. In this regard too, Eskel is very different from Geralt in the manner in which he deals out his faith. He was wary when they first met at Kaer Morhen, of course; careful. But one night under the tightly-woven tapestry of constellations above the keep together, watching from the battlements while the temperature still allowed it, and Eskel turned from cool indifference to a low simmer of secretive smiles and sidelong glances. Jaskier can’t help but wonder if - for all of Eskel’s straightforwardness - there is still a hidden fuse he’s about to light up like a damn wildfire one day.

“I thought you were the exception,” Eskel grumbles and sighs deeply. Still eyeing the doublet wearily, the wolf witcher begins to pace around it, circling it as though it is a ghoul about to jump him and not his dress for the night. It would have been quite funny too, if it didn’t make Jaskier ponder so much. He doesn’t like pondering, not before an evening of events. He isn’t here to think, which would lead to dissecting, which would lead to inspiration and doubt at the same time. Jaskier has many doubts, especially when the handsomely rugged witcher in front of him is involved and he suspects there’s no glazing over them now, not when big words such as trust have been thrown this carelessly into the room. 

“I hoped I would be,” Jaskier admits begrudgingly and carves out another smile, if dampened. “Will you come along then? It would mean the world to me.”

[masculinepeacock]

okay this is for @gendermybeloved's, it's inspired by their ted lasso dnd au. this is otherwise known as sam Flirts With His Friends:

okay first of all sam being a college of swords bard/fighter is perfect, i love him so much. he gets to show off his natural charisma/charm and i love that for him

okay but anyway the point of this post is sam flirts with his friends. in my mind i was picturing sam as a tiefling as soon as i read his classes, so now i'm picturing a tiefling wearing flashy jewelry and fine clothes but none of it inhibits his fighting ability, in fact it makes him look Even Cooler (everyone is immediately in love with him)

sam the tiefling hitting on pact of the fiend gnome played by jan is just too very chaotic characters taking the piss out of each other, and everyone loves to watch them on his each other and just laugh about it. not really Serious in game, or out. neither one becomes very flustered when it happens

i like to think the first time sam turns the charm on the rest of them though (except for roy), they all becomes very flustered by his Obisanya Charm.

sam is SO good with colin's pseudodragon and colin is like oh no. he's good with kids. this is a Problem, and the first time sam gives him bardic inspiration with a salacious wink he immediately starts questioning what it all means. doesn't really mean anything in game but this is the first time colin has everyone seen sam really "turn on the charm" and is genuinely conflicted about his feelings about this

isaac's fighter and sam's fighter quickly become good friends, even if they are pretty different as far as styles go. flirt with each other in a purely joking manner, doesn't mean anything in game and isaac has seen sam hit on people before so he's not really Shocked by it, but he gets a lot of enjoyment from watching colin get flustered by sam. winks back whenever sam winks at him, and every time sam says "that's not how this works!"

JAMIE AND SAM! i think the flirting starts out with jamie being very confused about it, but eventually he learns, as he becomes a druid, how to be open to the idea of a pc/pc romance and eventually he starts flirting back, one of the only ones to truly Fluster sam because he just wasn't expecting the flirting back. flirting means something In Game but not outside of game

dani. dani. cleric/fighter relationships my BELOVED. their flirting is so natural and they're both so charismatic that they use it to their advantage with npcs for SURE, sam always providing a distraction to dani's shenanigans. their flirting is so natural because they do it out of game often enough 👀 dnd is how these richmond players learn they're dating

essentually: no one is safe. sam is flirting with all his friends.

[ethereal-ineffability]

HELL YEAH, DUDE! INFO DUMP ABOUT YOUR OC, OR SO HELP ME!

eyyyyyyyyy. CW for discussion of violent fictional bigots leading to body image issues. Okay so here's the thing. My boy Curio a sweet, kind of shy, well-meaning, socially awkward 28-year-old wizard. Tallish, no muscles whatsoever, big round glasses, kind of stupid facial hair, your standard stereotype.

Except that's not what he looks like, really.

That image is missing a Hat of Disguise (grey irish flat-cap), which he wears constantly, even while sleeping unless he can be sure he's alone. His full first name is Curiosity and what he actually looks like is somewhere around these two pictures, except with broken horns and a helluva lot more faded-over-2-decades facial scarring.

That childhood scarring is the reason why he literally never takes the hat off, no matter what; not because of the scarring itself, but because of what it represents. He grew up with so much baggage attached to his identity as a tiefling because, apart from a very supportive but imperfect and over-her-head single human mother, he had no support network in a small town where he was the only tiefling and almost-if-not-all of the entire town were superstitious humans who were very not interested in examining their biases. The children his age and a few years older were the ones who gave him most of that damage. But there's a reason his mother named him Curiosity; ever since he was old enough to explore, he did so enthusiastically and constantly, and after enough of that (and playing mostly alone) he developed skills that other kids his age didn't have, and he essentially became a gifted child. His mom took advantage of that (and some favors with an old friend) when the bullying got especially bad and got Curio scholarships to send him away to a mage's college in a more open-minded area where he would be protected and taken care of, in exchange for helping with tasks around the college until he was old enough to become an official student. The college became his life. He threw himself into the study of everything having to do with magic - history, mechanics, culture, ethics, etc. - partly as distraction, partly as hyperfixation (I do imagine he's neurodivergent in some way), and partly, subconsciously, as a desperate way to grasp at some sort of explanation for why he exists the way that he does and why the world around him is the way that it is. The enchanted hat was something he got at some point during his time at the college, and it essentially became a comfort item for him, and even though he probably could have gotten by without it with *less* problems than he had in his hometown, he just refused to go without it for years after the fact both out of fear of what could happen again and out of what had become, at that point, a deeply ingrained sense that he was just *wrong* and that he needed to hide himself to avoid burdening others. And all of that is just background for his situation in the current campaign, as a 7th-level wizard who has been traveling with a southern sweetheart druid satyr, a young-looking and mysterious dreamfolk warlock, a puss-in-boots-esque tabaxi fighter, a sweet grandmotherly minotaur barbarian, and a tiefling sorcerer in his late 40's who has a lot of backstory commonalities with Curio, particularly being raised by a single mother, having bad experiences as a kid due to his fiendish heritage, leaving home young, and hiding his appearance when he was younger. (Side note, the sorcerer's player and I *did not plan this*. We both came up with backstories independently, we didn't really have a session 0, and we just now found out how weirdly similar our characters' lives have been, though there's obviously been some differences too.) I started out this campaign by letting all the players know openly that Curio was not human, because I knew I couldn't keep a secret. In the 9 months we've been playing (we had a hiatus for a few, so it's more like 6-7 months of weekly to bi-weekly sessions), the character that's come the closest to figuring it out has been the sorcerer, Turavel, because he has obvious advantages when it comes to picking out which things just don't seem right for a human wizard to do. For example, on top of the weirdness of Curio never taking the hat off, sleeping alone often, bathing alone often, etc., he barely (roll of 15 vs 14) caught Curio tearing up when Turavel was talking about where he came from, and he thought it was weird that Curio could cast things like Hellish Rebuke. (The player, actually, was the only one of us to call this out when it happened, so I made note of it.) At the time (months ago irl, about 2-4 weeks ago in game time), I as the player didn't think Curio's cover had been blown, because I was convinced that Wizards could cast Hellish Rebuke, and I

even informed the player that Curio has fake entries in his spellbook for Hellish Rebuke, Thaumaturgy, and Darkness, just in case anyone ever saw it who also saw him cast those things. But I discovered today while searching for level-up spells for him that I was wrong. As soon as I realized, I sent Turavel's player these messages:

"Looking through wizard-only spells and realized that I as the player made ANOTHER mistake, specifically about which spells would be natural to see a wizard use, which means Curio made another mistake because I'm not retconning anything I said about what he's done. Whoopsie Since you actually called it out at the time (not the latest nat 1, the one time Curio used it before that) I'll be clear with you: Hellish Rebuke is a 2nd level, Warlock-only spell. Curio has the Magic Initiate feat, which might explain why he knows Thaumaturgy which is a cleric-only spell, since his 1st level spell for that feat is Healing Word which is exclusive to clerics, bards, and druids... but if that were the case that wouldn't explain why he can also use Vicious Mockery, which only works with bardic magic. He would have had to have learned Healing Word in a bardic way, leaving Thaumaturgy unaccounted for, unless there's just some explanation other than fiendish heritage or magic initiate that Turavel has literally never heard of before. Maybe there's a bardic college that would allow for the learning of Thaumaturgy? Unlikely. In that case Hellish Rebuke would still be unaccounted for, unless Curio has a secret patron and is a multiclassed warlock/wizard. Occam's razor. And since Turavel's the only one who asked to see his spellbook [in return, after Curio asked to see the spellbooks of all the other spellcasters], help me remember and I'll let you contest me on arcana with advantage to put all this together when we meet next."

And that's where we are. Curio's about to get fully found out because of overthinking and overprotecting himself in ways that weren't necessary, after just casually and confidently trading spellbooks - for strategic study - with the one person in the party who was always leagues more likely than anyone else to figure out what was going on. The same sorcerer who is old enough to be Curio's father and knows almost *exactly* what he's going through, and who Curio would probably be the most ashamed to be found out by, because he would probably be worried that his disguising of his tiefling nature would be interpreted as an insult even though Curio has terrible anxiety about the whole thing and literally can't help it. And I just think it's extra fun that the reason this is happening so soon is because of decisions I made intentionally as a player to make it *harder* to find him out, while truly thinking about what he would actually do. And I swear to god if that roll at advantage doesn't work I'm giving him all the inspiration I've got, because this is too good. I'm excited for the ensuing cathartic drama and for this precious boy to finally start learning how to love himself. p.s. in case any readers haven't picked up by now it's a closeted-trans-youth meets open-trans-elder allegory. This is what happens when you play DnD with other trans people

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #27: Ushiwakamaru

(I know this isn’t one of Ushi’s normal cards, but this is the only picture of her that isn’t 70% naked so I’m doing what I have to.)

Welcome back to Fate and Phantasms! Today we’re building Skadi’s favorite commander, Ushiwakamaru. As you’d expect given her claim to fame is jumping really well, Ushi is mostly a monk, specifically a drunken master for just that little extra movement. She also has six noble phantasms though, and in order to encompass that many abilities in only 20 levels we have to turn to D&D’s perennial jack of all trades, the bard.

As usual, a spreadsheet for the build can be found here, and there’s a level-by-level breakdown below the cut!

Race and Background

You were raised by Tengu, but you’re still a Human, meaning you get +1 in all stats. You’re a soldier, but Dan-no-ura involves hopping over boats, so we’re going with the Marine background for its proficiency with water vehicles. You also get proficiencies in Athletics and Survival. Jumping around is usually more of a acrobatics check, but you’ll need sea legs too. Also: you were abandoned at birth, so learning how to live on your own is advisable.

Stats

Go for Dexterity first. Jumping is strength based, but every other aspect of this skill is your style. Second is Wisdom. You’re not really that good at reading the room, but you were raised by birds, and we need this to be kind of high for multiclassing. After that is Strength. Again, jumping is strength based, so we want this to be passable. Fourth is Charisma. Your people skills are actually pretty bad, but we also need this for multiclassing. Fifth is Constitution. You’re a lightweight with alcohol, but we really don’t want a negative modifier here. Finally, dump intelligence. You’re not dumb, but your other soft skills are tied up in multiclassing requirements, and with your social skills being what they are it wouldn’t feel right to make all your soft stats good.

Class Levels

1.Monk 1: When you choose monk at first level, you gain proficiency in Acrobatics (that whole jumping thing we’re focusing on), Religion(You were abandoned at a temple), and Dexterity and Strength saves. You also gain Unarmored Defense; which is perfect for you, since you’re not big on clothes, let alone armor; and Martial Arts, letting you use dexterity for unarmed and monk weapon attacks, use a d4 instead of other dice when making those attacks, and you can make an unarmed attack as a bonus action if you attack using your normal action.

2. Monk 2: At second level, you get Ki equal to your monk level, which can currently be used to make two unarmed attacks, dodge, or double your jump distance and disengage/dash as a bonus action. You also gain Unarmored Movement, giving you an extra 10 feet of movement per move action.

3. Monk 3: At third level, you set out on the path of the Drunken Master, which despite the name has very little to do with actually being drunk. Aside from the proficiency with Brewer’s Supplies. You also gain proficiency in Performance, which given your hard-line stance on pranking makes perfect sense. You also also develop your Drunken Technique, giving you a bonus disengage and 10′ when you use flurry of blows. Finally, you gain Deflect Missiles, letting you reduce the damage of ranged weapon attacks and possibly even send them back.

4. Monk 4: Use your first ASI to improve your Charisma and Wisdom. You also learn how to Slow Fall, reducing the amount of falling damage you take. This will be super useful if you, say, fall off a giant snake. Weird example, I know.

5. Monk 5: Fifth level monks get an Extra Attack, which is self-explanatory, but also a Stunning Strike. You can now spend a ki point to force a constitution saving throw when you hit somebody, and they’re stunned on a failure. Also, your martial arts die becomes a d6 this level. Look at you, moving up in the world of murder!

6. Monk 6: Sixth level drunken masters gain two features as part of their Tipsy Sway. You can Leap to your feet, using only 5′ of movement to stand up from prone, and you can Redirect Attacks that miss you using your reaction and 1 ki point. Also at this level, you get another 5 feet of movement.

7. Bard 1: Now lets switch over to your other class for a bit. Being a bard is a little out there, but your NP is literally based on stories of how awesome you are, so it’s not too wild. At first level, you get an extra proficiency in one skill of your choice. Pick up Deception for more elaborate pranks. Also at this level, you get your first taste of Bardic Inspiration, d6 you can hand out to allies to help on most d20 rolls, and Bard Spells. At first level you gain 2 cantrips and 4 1st level spells. Grab True Strike, Longstrider, and Feather Fall to enhance your physical abilities, Minor Illusion and Bane for some trickery, and Thunderwave for a less expansive version of you Hoemaru.

8. Bard 2: Second level bards become a Jack of All Trades, adding half their proficiency to checks that don’t use it (like initiative checks, nudge nudge). You also gain a Song of Rest, adding a d6 to the healing done by your party’s hit dice on short rests. For this level’s Spell, grab Earth Tremor. There isn’t really an explicitly in-character reason for this spell, but it’s more crowd control, so it technically falls under the domain of Jizaiten’s Eye.

9. Bard 3: When you hit your third level of barding, you’ll graduate from the college of swords. When this happens, you gain proficiency with Medium Armor and Scimitars, neither of which work with your monk levels. You also can use weapons you’re proficient with as spellcasting focuses, which is much more useful to you. You also get a Fighting Style, so grab Dueling for extra damage. You gain Expertise, doubling your proficiency in two skills(Deception and Acrobatics are good choices), and finally you get Blade Flourishes. By using your inspiration, you can add that roll to your damage and also either add the roll to your AC, deal that roll’s damage to another nearby creature as well, or push your target by 5′ + the roll and follow them with your reaction. Also, when you attack, you get an extra 10′ of movement for the turn. For your spell this level, grab the flexible Enhance Ability to hype yourself up.

10. Bard 4: Use your next ASI to improve your Charisma for better spells and more flourishes. You also get another cantrip and spell, so grab Thunderclap and Shatter for more sonic damage.

11. Bard 5: At fifth level, your inspiration dice increase to d8s, and you become a Font of Inspiration, regaining your dice on short rests instead of just long ones. For your spell, grab Fear. Again, no real reasoning for it, but it does make enemies run away, so it falls under Jizaiten’s Eye.

12. Bard 6: Sixth level bards get disappointed by Countercharm, letting you spend an action to give your allies advantage against being charmed or frightened. As a sword bard, you also get disappointed by an Extra Attack that doesn’t stack with the one you got at level 5. Grab Enemies Abound to turn any enemy position into a bad one by making them think their allies are their enemies.

13. Monk 7: Back as a monk, you gain Evasion, making your dexterity saves to avoid damage extremely powerful. You also gain a Stillness of Mind, letting you spend an action to end one effect making you charmed or frightened.

14. Monk 8: Eighth level monks get another ASI, but use this one to become a Martial Adept. This feat gives you 1d6 as a superiority die, and two maneuvers. Grab Maneuvering Attack to move allies into better positions and Pushing Attack to move enemies out of them. The saves for these attacks are 8 + your proficiency + your dexterity modifier, and you regain your die on a short rest.

15. Monk 9: At ninth level, you get an Unarmored Movement Improvement, letting you run on water and up walls and giant snakes, as long as you don’t end your turn there. 

16. Monk 10: Finish your monk training with Purity of Body, making you immune to disease and poison. This doesn’t help with primordial seas though, so don’t get too reckless. You also get another 5′ of movement added to your speed, bringing your total bonus movement up to 20′.

17. Bard 7: Back in bard, we get a level where not much happens besides your fourth level spell. Grab Freedom of Movement so you’ll be unaffected by difficult terrain. I’d make an example of the obvious, but that’s getting old by this point.

18. Bard 8: Use your last ASI for more Dexterity, boosting your AC and damage, and then grab Dimension Door for your spell. As long as you don’t tell anyone it’s magic, it’s just a really good jump, right?

19. Bard 9: Ninth level bards get a boost to their song of rest as well as fifth level spells. Grab Legend Lore: the grail gives you information about the world when you materialize, so why wouldn’t you know what this thing you’re holding does?

20. Bard 10: Your capstone level gives you a boost to your bardic inspiration, making it a d10, and you get  two more points of expertise, say Athletics and Survival. Grab Vicious Mockery as another cantrip, and finally say hello to Magical Secrets, two spells from any spell list. Sadly, to fill out the last couple NPs, you’ll have to grab Jump and Shield of Faith. Yes, your capstone ability is two level one spells.

Pros: You are very mobile. While your movement is “only” 50′ on paper, the bonuses you get from your flurry of blows and attacking means you can run circles around most of your enemies. The effects from your spells, maneuvers, and flourishes also let you shove enemies around freely. Also, like most bards you have pretty solid soft skills, especially when you’re lying through your teeth.

Cons: A majority of your bard levels don’t really contribute much to the build, and having to spend 10 levels just to get two level one spells really hurts in the long run. This is especially true since despite having magic, you still don’t have much in the way of ranged attacks to work with outside of vicious mockery. You’re also really fragile for someone running in with a sword, with only about 100 HP to work with.

[theworldbrewery]

multiclass your...  BARD!!

Your bard is a caster, and a damn fine one, with the potential to inspire as a bonus action! Bards are fluid creatures--you might favor dashing swordsmanship, straight-up casting, or focus your talents toward skills. Because of that flexibility, your abilities can mesh well with a variety of classes. Here’s the breakdown:

Tough Sells:

Bard + Barbarian

I know, I know. But at the early levels, your casting-first bard is going to have a tough time if you’re raging. You can still use your Bardic Inspiration and depending on the bard college you chose, you might make this combination work, but it won’t be easy. The Barbarian’s unarmored defense and danger sense are your best assets in this combination.

Bard + Monk

You’re probably at least a little dextrous. If you’ve got the wisdom to pull it off, Monk could be a reasonable choice. But unfortunately, as a Monk, your early-level perks have more to do with melee attacks and less with flexible abilities. If you’re willing to spend time at first level wrestling with the bard and monk abilities, at second level you can use ki points to take certain bonus actions, which could be worth it. But that first level where the bard half and the monk half aren’t talking to each other...that’s hard to live with. It’s sort of like a bad marriage and you’re trying to Make It Work.

Bard + Wizard

Wizards will get you extra spell slots and cantrips, a new selection of spells--and precious little else. Arcane Recovery goes by wizard level, not total level, so there’s no recovering a 5th-level spell slot. Arcane Traditions can make this a useful multiclass, but there are better caster combinations out there, and your bard deserves the best.

Probably Worth It:

Bard + Druid

If you could speak while in Wild Shape beast form, I’d say this is a definite go. But unfortunately, if you wild-shape your bard, you’ve not only hampered your spellcasting, but also your bardic inspiration (which must be heard to be of use). If you’re only taking one level, this is a decent option, though, since you’ll snag extra level-one spell slots and cantrips and unlock new spells. The two bonus spell slots (as opposed to the 1 or 0 you’d gain by taking a new bard level) are a strong opportunity, no doubt.

Bard + Paladin

Like monks, a paladin’s wheelhouse doesn’t really mesh with yours. You won’t get new spell slots until second level, and when you do, the spells you get will mostly be for enhancing your melee attacks. But if that is your game, the paladin’s fighting style and smites could work in your favor. It’s not ideal, but it’s something you can twist to suit your needs pretty well.

Bard + Ranger

This is like a slightly-less-neat version of the Bard+Rogue multiclass further down. If your bard is very skills-oriented, the ranger can offer skills perks in favored terrain and against favored enemies as well as light spellcasting and a fighting style. Given the flexibility of the bard, the ranger’s answer seems to be “why choose one thing to be?” However, this multiclass loses points because you have to be above-average at dexterity AND wisdom just to multiclass.

Bard + Warlock

This could be higher on the list, I’ll admit. But warlocks only get you one first level spell slot at level one and two cantrips. If you play your otherworldly patron cards right, though, the efficacy of your bard can go through the roof. Throw in a pair of eldritch invocations at second level and this multiclass can be a nice change of pace--but it’s not particularly good at improving the things your bard already does, so it’s not quite there.

Go All In:

Bard + Cleric

If you find that your bard gravitates toward healing, consider dipping into Cleric! you’ll get cleric spells like spiritual weapon and cure wounds--and since you’re already a high-level caster, you can cast that heal spell in a higher spell slot! The domain you select should be influenced by your bard--each one will give you a slightly different skill set, so choose wisely--but all could be worth it. For a healing-oriented multiclass, though, choose Life or Grave domain.

Bard + Fighter

True, you’re not the best melee class out there. But if you chose college of Swords or Valor as a bard, you’re probably already boosting Dex or Strength, so you’re not spreading yourself too thin. As a fighter, you’ll gain a fighting style and Second Wind (self-heal) at first level, and if you push it to second, you’ll get that Action Surge. Picture it--you cast Vicious Mockery, you throw out a bonus action healing word or Bardic Inspiration, and then, suddenly, you come out the gate with another action! Whether it’s with sword or spell, this feature is delightful.

Bard + Rogue

Usually this is where I point out sneak attack, but look. You’re not here for sneak attack. You’re here for expertise, thieves’ tools, and a bonus skill proficiency. A bard with good dexterity has all the makings of a rogue with spells as it is, archetype-wise. For you, sneak attack is a bonus if you’re a bard that already does weapon stuff. Don’t get too caught up in it. At second level, it gets better: you’ll get those Cunning Actions--bonus actions that let you hide, disengage, or dash. For a squishy-ish spellcaster, take that and put it to good use.

Bard + Sorcerer

Okay. You’re not going to get any proficiencies from this, but that’s okay, because at first level you’ll get a sorcerous origin and cantrips and two spell slots. Your sorcerous origin offers some really good perks right away. Don’t sleep on that deal. At second level, you get sorcery points that you can convert into spell slots. That’s a big deal. If you push it to third level and choose metamagic options? hot damn! If you like being a strong caster, here’s the multiclass to make you even stronger.

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[tigerkirby215]

5e Seraphine, the Starry-Eyed Songstress build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Jennifer Wuestling. Made for Riot Games.)

I mean I’m going to have to build her eventually, right? Honestly Tasha’s Cauldron comes out tomorrow so I may as well take a bit of a cheat day and make a build for the new champ. I mean I still have to and pick out a bunch of spells so at least I’m doing that?

Samira build is going to come out sometime in the year 3587 lol.

GOALS

Lookin' for a song in everything I meet! - Seraphine is a stage performer, rallying the whole crowd into song to make it loud and proud!

You're all breathtaking! - Seraphine can unite everyone around her with shields and heals. COUGH SONA COUGH.

Sing it with me! - When the time comes Seraphine can bring the whole world closer together! Good thing she isn’t mute.

RACE

I would really love to do a funny joke and say that Seraphine is a Tiefling or an Orc or something but no: she’s a Human. I can’t even justify any of the Eberron races so we’ll just be going for good ol’ Variant Human.

As a human you can increase two ability scores of your choice: pump up your Charisma and Dexterity to keep fit and beautiful. You can also learn a skill of your choice and for hearing so strong you can hear the voices of a dying nation inside your special necklace take Perception proficiency. You can also take any language of your choice so I’d suggest one that fits with your group, or whichever one you think is Korean. Actually I think Seraphine sung in Chinese which also made people mad? Man Riot can’t stop making her controversial, huhn?

But of course the main appeal of Variant Human is the free feat at level 1. I think Alert is pretty good for mimicking super sensitive hearing. Along with a +5 bonus to initiative you can’t be surprised nor can you be snuck up on. Being able to hear everyone has its perks, huhn?

ABILITY SCORES

15; CHARISMA - If you’re gonna get the crowd to adore you you’ve gotta look the part.

14; CONSTITUTION - I don’t care if Seraphine is a squishy midlane mage we simply don’t need anything else more. Feel free to swap this out with a different stat if you want better roleplay but worse health.

13; DEXTERITY - You need to be able to keep your balance on a moving platform as well as be able to dance along with the K/DA crew.

12; WISDOM - Seraphine’s big thing is being able to hear the emotions of everyone. Knowing what makes people tick is Insight, which is a Wisdom skill.

10; INTELLIGENCE - Seraphine is just your average, everyday girl. Ditzy and a little clueless.

8; STRENGTH - Seraphine can best be described as “petite.” Muscles in the chest hurt your nice soprano.

BACKGROUND

Now you may not know this but Seraphine is a singer, which is a type of Entertainer. As an Entertainer you get proficiency in Performance (obviously) and Acrobatics as well as a music instrument of your choice (Indie Seraphine plays guitar so grab a Lute) and a Disguise Kit, so maybe you can disguise the fact that you’re a copy of So...

Being the premier superstar of Piltover means that you get to tour around a lot By Popular Demand. You can perform in exchange for a place to stay, and doing so will get people to notice you! "Music helps you keep your head up."

(Artist unknown. Blame LoL Wiki. Artwork made for Riot Games.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - BARD 1

YOU MAY BE SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT SERAPHINE IS A BARD. As a Bard you get proficiency in three skills as well as three instruments! Choose whatever instruments you want (you mostly sing, and the majority of magical instruments are Lutes anyways which you’re already proficient in) (my secret advice? Pan Flutes and Horns have a few magic instruments) but for your skills take Insight to hear the crowd, Persuasion to rally the crowd, and Arcana to learn why your magic crystal is screaming.

You also get Bardic Inspiration! Seraphine talks about being inspired so she can inspire others, and you can inspire your allies with a d6 to add to Attack Rolls, Saving Throws, and Skill Checks!

But of course Bards are spellcasters with Spellcasting too! You can learn two cantrips from the Bard list: Prestidigitation will let you get some special effects on stage and Vicious Mockery doesn’t have to be mockery... It would just be a lot cooler if it was.

You also learn four spells from the Bard list: Comprehend Languages will let you understand everyone’s song, and Faerie Fire will let you light up their life. On the more unnerving end Dissonant Whispers will let folk listen to your crystal, and Detect Magic will let you tell exactly what kind of magic you’re hearing. That’s weird: why is the Hextech crystal radiating Necromancy?

LEVEL 2 - BARD 2

Second level Bards are Jack of All Trades, being able to add half their proficiency bonus to any skill check. Because you see the rhythm in everything! Additionally you get Song of Rest, helping your friends take a break and recover more health during short rests.

But most importantly you get another spell! Another way to cheer someone up is to give them a good laugh, and Tasha’s Hideous Laughter will make them do just that! Maybe they’re laughing about the fact that Riot keeps insisting your not a copy of Sona? Oh don’t worry the jabs at Seraphine as a character are just gonna keep coming.

LEVEL 3 - BARD 3

Third level Bards get Expertise in two skills: choose Insight to hear the souls of both cities, and Performance because... yeah duh. You don’t become famous in a day.

But much more importantly you get your choice of Bard College, and for the rich and fabulous the College of Glamour will make sure everyone loves you! You can now officially captivate the whole audience (up to your Charisma modifier) with your Enthralling Performance, charming them and making them idolize you and defend you on Twitter. To both shield your allies and speed them up with Surround Sound Mantle of Inspiration takes a Bonus Action to give them Temporary Hitpoints and let them take a reaction to move out of danger. Yeah this was pretty much on a silver platter for me so I figured I’d take it.

You can also learn another spell and for an effective Beat Drop take Hold Person, rooting them in place for long enough that your ADC can do their magic.

LEVEL 4 - BARD 4

4th level comes with your first Ability Score Improvement. Charisma is pretty much everything for us now so pumping that up would be helpful!

You can also learn another spell and another cantrip! For your cantrip Dancing Lights will let you light up your stage and also pulls double duty by letting your dumb human eyes see in the dark. As for leveled spells Suggestion is a more direct form of emotional manipulation, suggesting actions for the other person to take. These actions can’t be directly harmful or against what the character would normally do, but “you should buy my $30 release skin” is a fairly ordinary request, right?

(Picture from Seraphine’s Twitter. Yup Seraphine is definitely real.)

LEVEL 5 - BARD 5

5th level Bards get Font of Inspiration, allowing their Bardic Inspiration to come back on a Short rest instead of a Long rest. This is great because your Bardic Inspiration die also increases to a d8, increasing your Mantle of Inspiration Temp HP too!

You can also learn third level spells but the keyword here is can because I’m actually going to stick at second to take spells like Calm Emotions. Man you’ll never guess what this spell does.

While Calm Emotions is a nice spell feel free to deviate from my builds as you see fit. Like seriously a temporary ceasefire is nice but so is a huge Fear cone.

LEVEL 6 - BARD 6

6th level Glamour Bards can make people dance like they have a magical instrument from Ionia. Mantle of Majesty lets you Concentrate on a not-spell once per Long Rest and get the ability to cast the Command actual-spell as a Bonus Action for one minute. Command lets you make one word commands at your enemy as long as they can understand you and you aren’t asking them to do something harmful to themselves. So commands like “Dance!” “Sing!” and “Cheer!” are all viable (though perhaps not effective in a teamfight.)

You can also add another spell to your spell list but again the third level Bard spells aren’t too enticing to me, so take Enthrall to make sure they concentrate on you and you alone.

Oh and you get Countercharm, letting you use an action to give allies against Frightening and Charming effects. Or they could buy some Tenacity. Or you could get a Paladin.

LEVEL 7 - BARD 7

7th level Bards get 4th level spells and Confusion will get the crowd mixed up in the noise, resulting in a cacophony that would sound like unbearable noise to most. Because it is unbearable noise. But at least your friends can fight them in the madness.

LEVEL 8 - BARD 8

8th level Bards get another Ability Score Improvement. Do you know what’s helpful for a class based entirely on Charisma? Maxed out Charisma!

You know what else is helpful? Charm Monster, so you can talk to any crystal scorpions that might be looking for their family. I mean, assuming the Brackern speak human.

(Picture from Seraphine’s Twitter. Yup Seraphine is definitely real.)

LEVEL 9 - BARD 9

9th level sees your Song of Rest increase to a d8. Does this ability scale really poorly? Yeah kinda.

At least you get 5th level spells now. If you want some high notes that’ll dance around you Animate Objects will let you make a bunch of tiny objects to hit your foes! Honestly at this point all the Enchantment spells become uhhh... evil? So we have to go for a different school if we want “good” spells.

LEVEL 10 - BARD 10

10th level Bards get Expertise in two more skills: Persuasion will help you shift the hearts of a nation. Take whatever skill you want as your secondary one since it honestly doesn’t matter too much. (I personally opted for Perception.)

But more importantly it’s Magical Secrets time! This will let you get any spell from any class’ spell list and add it to your own! Most of the time when you get this feature you want to grab some stuff at the max level you can cast but I’m actually going to go down to third level for some support and buffs! For a healing aura around you take Aura of Vitality from the Paladin spell list. To quickly charm a crowd Incite Greed will force everyone to be charmed by you as they want to see your 50 dollar Brackern Corpse... I mean Hextech crystal.

Along with your two Magical Secrets you also get another cantrip. Message is always good to keep plans in team chat.

LEVEL 11 - BARD 11

11th level Bards get 6th level spells like Otto's Irresistible Dance, which forces everyone to get into the rhythm! It’s much harder to fight when you’re dancing: it’s like being stunned! Good thing only you can force a stunning dance on enemies.

LEVEL 12 - BARD 12

12th level Bards get an Ability Score Improvement but now that your Charisma is maxed you can grab Inspiring Leader to rally everyone together for an awesome performance!

(Artist unknown. Blame LoL Wiki. Artwork made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 13 - BARD 13

13th level Bards see their Song of Rest increase to a d10, and this is the point where I make a joke about Song of Rest scaling poorly.

You at least get 7th level spells, and because none of these really fit Seraphine I’m going to suggest Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion for a K/DA stage. But again I need to remind people that I’m picking options for RP and you’re welcome to build the character however you want. Take what you think will be useful and make your own song!

LEVEL 14 - BARD 14

14th level Eloquence Bards have Unbreakable Majesty! As a Bonus Action you can put on your Ultimate Skin to force enemies to make Charisma saves if they try to attack you. If they fail, they’ll target someone else! This is a great way to keep the damage off you since you don’t exactly have great HP or AC. Do remember that it only lasts for a minute though, but you can get it back at the end of a Short or Long rest.

Additionally you get two more Magical Secrets! If you want to sing to enemies far and long (but maybe not Wide) Gravity Fissure is a Dunamancy spell that forces everyone in a line to take a massive amount of damage and be pulled to the center of the spell.

Now that you got your ultimate the world is honestly your oyster. My recommendation to get a crowd to put their hands up would be Chain Lightning, but that’s more because the spell is good than because it fits Sera.

LEVEL 15 - BARD 15

15th levels get their maximum Bardic Inspiration die of a d12! This also means that your Mantle of Inspiration will now give everyone 15 temporary hitpoints! "Harmonize!"

LoL Wiki doesn’t let me link to voice lines anymore and that’s a true crime.

And hey; 8th level spells! If you want to make some Gamers™ mad about your “cash grab” Twitter account just inflict them with Feeblemind so they can spam pictures of Skarner like the marketing department gets to choose what the champion designers make. Because remember: even if Seraphine isn’t real the people pretending to be her are, so don’t be an ass please!

LEVEL 16 - BARD 16

Who likes ASIs? We haven’t used our hyper-sensitive hearing enough so take the Observant feat for a +1 to Wisdom and a +5 to passive Perception and Investigation. And the ability to pick up on lyrics by reading people’s lips!

Are there more useful feats? Yeah, but we build for character here. If you want a powerbuild check out Reddit.

(Picture from Seraphine’s Twitter. Yup Seraphine is definitely real.)

LEVEL 17 - BARD 17

17th level Bards get to pretend that Song of Rest is a good ability! It’s a d12 now so I’m sure it’s useful now that your party all have around 100 HP!

But you finally get access to your mythical 9th level spells! Honestly all the options are great for a girl who has everything, but I’m going to go for the fun Music Video option of True Polymorph. Turn Akali into a dragon! Turn Evelynn into a demon! Turn Skarner into a battery! The possibilities are endless! (Unlike the #BrackernRights memes.)

LEVEL 18 - BARD 18

18th level Bards get their last two Magical Secrets. This is also the last two spells you’ll be getting so better make them count! Of course the best way to make a spell count is to Wish for anything. With this you can finally unite Piltover and Zaun, as long as you believe enough! Or you can bring back Skarner’s family...

For something a little more in-character and a lot more immediately practical: Mass Heal is the perfect Catch-22 to negate any burst. A burst of 700 HP to everyone is never not useful for a bit of Redemption.

LEVEL 19 - BARD 19

19th level Bards get their last Ability Score Improvement: we have an uneven Wisdom score thanks to our last Feat so eh. May as well take Resilient Wisdom for better saving throws and even scores.

LEVEL 20 - BARD 20

20th level Bards have Superior Inspiration! When you roll initiative and have no uses of Bardic Inspiration left, you regain one use. That is literally how the ability is worded. I mean, okaaaaay? At least you can spam Mantle of Inspiration a little more?

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Whole world hears me now! - You’re a full caster with no multiclassing! 9th level spells: no strings attached! You’ve even got a nice spread between Concentration spells and Non-Concentration spells, as well as both utility and combat spells.

Everyone fights to be heard; I'll fight to listen - Being a Bard means you’re good at just about everything, and particularly good at a select few things. 29 Passive Perception? +17 to Persuasion?

We've only just met and I'm already inspired - Who would’ve guessed that a Support class built to support well would be a good support? You’ve got charms, heals, and CC a plenty along with Inspiring Leader to bolster everyone before a battle and Mantle of Inspiration to keep everyone moving with the music!

CONS

Stage fright? Never heard of it - A lot of your BADDEST™ toys are locked behind big spell slots. You’ve only got two 6th level slots, and just one 9th level slot despite having three different 9th level spells to choose from. Again feel free to build your spell list however you want as I just picked what fit in character.

Pretend it's a big rehearsal - Your DEX is meh, your CON is meh. 140 HP isn’t godawful but it isn’t great when you’ll likely have 14 AC at best with Studded Leather. You know what’s really hot right now? Tattoos. See if your DM’s a cool dude who’ll pass you a Rare Barrier Tattoo from Tasha’s to essentially get Medium Armor! Elven Chain is also nice and pretty.

Joy's too quiet without sorrow on the downbeat - I don’t want to make two points related to your stats but they’re the only thing that’s really hurting in this build. Your only good stat is Charisma: and everything else ranges from meh (+2 in DEX / WIS / CON) to bad (0 in INT, -1 in STR.) While you’ll still be able to roleplay with Jack of All Trades skills your Saving Throws hurt. Your concentration is bad and anything heavy will break your petite spine in two. Luckily INT saves aren’t common but anything Strength or Constitution based will quickly put an end to your performance.

Uniting the world in song isn’t easy, but if anyone can do it it’s you. Harmonize, move with the rhythm, and unite everyone through song. There’s nothing you can’t do, and no one can bring you down down down down down down. Well, except perhaps an angry crystal scorpion monster and his army of Twitter followers.

(Artist unknown. Blame LoL Wiki. Artwork made for Riot Games.)