#take some shitty pics from me lmao

[teddybearsims]

a soft bear in a big hoodie

[doomedmoth]

War is Over

Pairing : Reader x Daniel Ricciardo x Max Verstappen | Poly fem!reader

Warnings : use of y/n, smau, polyamory, queer drivers, reader is around 30

Synopsis : You’re just a mechanic at RedBull, not much more to say. Nothing in your contract says you can’t be friends with drivers, right ? The little lines very clearly says you’re not allowed to show it all though. When your chosen “family” fails you, all you can do is hope your loved ones save themselves too.

Moth’s prophecy💡: Hi cryptids, honestly I have no excuses to give, sorry for the randomness of it all, I just needed to get this out to process with the pain of loosing Daniel. I can only hope he finds happiness away from the shit show that RedBull is becoming. Probably going back to hibernation, see ya !

[Messages] Dumber has sent you a text

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yourusername : How it started / how it’s going (swipe for my face when I’m not covered in grease). Hello to everyone new here, I’m Y/N, Chief Engine Power Conformity Mechanician at redbullracing ! Based in the never-sunny town of Milton Keynes, but you might see me around the paddock at most races to make sure no one explodes ✌🏻

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F1mech little miss mini boss 🫡

yourusername be glad to have me around to do the dirty work

F1mech Yes ma���am very grateful ma’am 🫡

redbullracing Your work is so crucial and we are happy the world gets to know you more !

redbullracing Also it was sunny last we came to MK ???

yourusername nobody tell admin we take out the fake blue sky windows when he comes by

user1 lmao I live in Milton Keynes and can attest we haven’t seen the sun in weeeeks

user2 never wanted to be a redbull neon sign so bad

user3 I can see why they hide her in the shithole that is Milton Keynes, the whole paddock would go crazy over her

user4 she would make such a cute wag omg !!

user5 bet every girlie is on their man’s back whenever she’s around

user6 she works for RB soooo… d’you think her and checo…? 😳

user7 she already has someone guys !! Though we have never seen his face, but I think she’s more interested in the cars than the ones inside them

user6 checo is married and still it doesn’t stop him lmao

user8 are you part of the pit crew ?? Never seen you before ! /g

yourusername I’m not !! I mainly work on the cars before and after the races and practices to make sure everything is in place, not faulty, and compliant to both Redbull’s and the FIA’s standards of security 🤗 but 60/70% of my work is at the factory, and the paddock parts happens behind close doors, so no worries

maxverstappen1 she makes sure nobody dies

yourusername and god knows y’all make it hard sometimes

danielricciardo yeah this second pic is so much better

yourusername oh don’t start me boy

danielricciardo hihihi 🤭

user9 hello Daniel ???

user10 How can I work at Redbull too pls I beg you I’ll even make coffee and mop the floors

yourusername check our offers on the website honey !! Most jobs require some experience or diploma but we also offer internships and graduate programs if you want to make your way in

user10 thank u 🥹

user10 that’s how you got in ?

yourusername nope, I’ve worked on cars forever and in motorsports for years before getting to F1, but we have plenty of opportunities in non-technical fields too!

user11 pretty, kind, works in f1, not single, lemme just Google how to be like you

user12 you okay dude ? Throat not hurting too much from gagging on her dick

user13 lmaoooo yeah seeing her looks that’s probably a daddy’s girl who got put in exec and pretends to know what she’s talking about

user14 wouldn’t be shocked if her “work behind closed doors” is ordering actual mechs around like minions

danielricciardo is your little ego so hurt by the fact that you’ll never be talented enough to get to her place that you’ve resorted to running your shitty mouth online ? Breath getting stinky mate, careful 🤢

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[Instagram] yourusername just posted a photo

yourusername : Everything’s twice as fun with you

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user15 lover boy lover boy lover boy !

user16 I’m more excited for the face reveal than for my best friend’s wedding

user17 pls get checked wtf

user18 wait isn’t he blonde ? who’s the dark haired one in some pics ? With tattoos ?

user19 you might be new but Y/N always post pics of lover boy randomly, so some pics are old, and he often dyes his hair !

user18 wow damn I need his hairdresser coz this is cleaaaaan

yourbff don’t tell me you let him touch your car

yourusername lmaooo never 💀 tried to teach him to change some parts on his

yourbff and…?

yourusername ended up doing it…

yourbff at least he’s cute !!

yourusername Hey ! That must counts for something !

user20 not them bullying him coz he either doesn’t have socials or is not allowed to answer

yourbff what ? us ?

yourusername Never 😇

user21 oh damn she bagged herself a hottie

user22 HE bagged himself a hottie have you seen her ??

user23 couple goals and we ain’t ever seen his face like

user24 ain’t no need for a face with a body like this

user25 kinda looks like Max on the 6th slide no ??

user26 lmao as if

user27 the man can bag any celebrity doubt he cares for a factory girl

user28 the pic with the RB can lol

yourusername trained him well 😇

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[Twitter] f1.driv.updates just posted

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[Messages] Dumb has sent you a text

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[Instagram] maxverstappen1 has added a story

user29 replied to the story :

oh yeah I keep forgetting y’all old money rich rich

user30 replied to the story :

so we all forgetting about Horner’s accusation ?? Truly just RB’s bitch in the end

user31 replied to the story :

Is that y/n ?? Didn’t know the mechs were invited to those events

danielricciardo replied to the story :

man I do take amazing pics when the models look so good

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[Instagram] yourusername just posted a photo

yourusername : vitamin sea 🌊⛱️🐚 Australia, you never disappoint

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oscarpiastri wish we could have hung out more 🥺

yourusername we hung out at your house bby!!

user32 BBY ?? SOMEONE CALL LILY COZ THIS BITCH IS OVERSTEPPING

oscarpiastri we didn’t hang out you repaired my mom’s car while Lily and I were drinking WARM BEERS ON THE FLOOR

yourusername SORRY YOU CAN’T APPRECIATE MY CRAFT LIKE YOUR MOTHER DOES also hi to lils 💕🌸🎀

oscarpiastri DON’T BRING MY MOM INTO THIS she said she misses u 🤗💕✨

user32 oh

yourusername yeah

oscarpiastri yeah

nicolepiastri yeah

yourbff you need to turn off work like for reeeaaaal

yourusername how can I when those two are literally glued to my hip

danielricciardo shocked sad disappointed

maxverstappen1 Lover boy will hear about this

yourusername Are those threats ? Remember I literally have power over your life

danielricciardo not mine anymore lol Lover boy WILL HEAR about this

user33 oh so that definitely erases the possibility of Max or Daniel being Lover Boy

user34 as if there had ever been any evidence of that

user35 Lover boy in the Redbull cap ??

yourusername Yep ! Max gave it to him

user35 daaaaamn he is ripped

yourusername hihi 🤭

user36 no one questioning why the fuck is a mechanician hanging so much with drivers ??

user37 *chief mechanician

F1mech oh shit buddy thank you, we weren’t aware we couldn’t be friends with people we spend more than half of the year on the road with

maxverstappen1 cancel your ticket rn mate, you can’t vacation with us

F1mech come on user36, see what you’ve done ?? Maybe if you hadn’t questioned it I could have gone, fucker

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[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user38 has replied to your story :

Not you posting this straight after the checo announcement 💀

yourbff has replied to your story :

just saw the news, is Danny ok ?? Pls call me

maxverstappen1 has replied to your story :

Booked you a table at San Marco at 8, sorry I can’t be there tonight…

it’s okay, I know how it is, I just don’t want him to be alone… thx for the restaurant ��

[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user39 has replied to your story :

omg same

user40 has replied to your story :

IS THAT DANIEL ???

user41 has replied to your story :

the tattoos ??? girl we knoooow

redbullracing has replied to your story :

y/n ?

yup yup yup sorry

This story has been deleted.

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[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user41 has replied to your story :

lmao miss thing is piiiissed

yukitsunoda0511 has replied to your story :

i can’t find my controller d’you have one more ? 🥺

yes bby just come before your food gets cold

user42 has replied to your story :

She supports Max’s rights but mostly Max’s wrongs

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[Twitter] F1mech just posted

[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user43 has replied to your story :

preeeaach 🙌🏻

user44 has replied to your story :

all redbull employees protesting the FIA has me going !! Tell Horner to open his mouth too for once

danielricciardo has replied to your story :

I want this pic as my new lockscreen

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[Twitter] danyfanclub just posted

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[Instagram] danielricciardo just posted a photo

danielricciardo : l've loved this sport my whole life. It's wild and wonderful and been a journey. To the teams and individuals that have played their part, thank you. To the fans who love the sport sometimes more than me haha thank you. It'll always have its highs and lows but it's been fun and truth be told I wouldn't change it.

Until the next adventure.

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redbullracing 🫶🏻

user45 SHUT UP

user46 the audacity

user47 you promised you would treat him better !!

user48 Daniel > Perez

user49 DTS fan

lewishamilton legend 🫂

user50 game recognize game

user51 tell Mercedes to give him a seat

maxverstappen1 Head up ! Many more beautiful moments to come, somewhere you’ll be recognized and appreciated 💪🏻 our time together isn’t over, but I’m glad for all the racing, the laughs, the nights, for you ❤️

user52 wow hm Max no need to make all of us cry

user53 I feel like I’ve just walked in on something very personal…

user54 maxiel 😭😭😭

user55 he was the best mate you ever had, never should have left RedBull

yourusername Working with you was an honor, but getting to know and appreciate you made my whole life brighter, and I can’t thank you enough for this 🌞 no contracts can bring us apart, see you around honey bee 💛

user56 the little dig at RB’s contracts lmao

user57 why does honey bee feel much more intimate than honey badger ??

user58 we haven’t seen this level of emotion for De Vries, yet you were already working for the “RedBull family” if I’m not mistaken ??

user59 maybe because no one gives two shits about De Vries ??

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[Instagram] yourusername just posted a photo

yourusername : Well, there it is. After 15 years of working on cars, the last 10 in motorsports, last five in Formula 1, it’s time for me to take a break. It was just perfect to finish it off in my hometown Austin, and I’m so grateful to my friends and family who made the trip to celebrate together. I remember my first week at Milton Keynes, my whole life in a suitcase. Abu Dhabi 2021, and those stories we’ll keep for our old days. I was so proud to be part of this, the champagne, the fireworks, the love. The day Daniel came back to us. The people I’ve met, the opportunities I’ve had, none would have been possible without you, ‘Bull. It’s been oh so amazing, but oh so tiring. I’ve reached a point in my life where I need my environment to be aligned with what I want, my values and the people I love and care for. So it’s goodbye.

F1, thank you for everything. I’ll miss you, but I gotta go. 💙

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F1mech I solemnly swear to not make anything explode, to always triple check my laces, to never pick Yoshi in Mario Kart because it’s yours, and to forever keep you close to my heart. Thx mini boss, you were amazing 🫡

yourusername Thanks Callum, you’re gonna make me cry now…

user60 US TOO 😭

user61 naaaaah another one leaving RedBull, shit is really going down

user62 where do you think she’s going ? Aston ?

user63 or Ferrari

yourusername Sorry to disappoint but neither ! It’s really a full break, for a while at least, I need to get my head out of the oil and machinery

user64 leaving England then ?? What about lover boy ??

yourusername Lover boy was never British eheh, who told you that ? 🤭

user65 if Lover boy is confirmed to be Daniel I’ll loose my shit

user66 I will always root for Max though…

user67 he has tattoos omg it’s never been Max !!

redbullracing Now it’s pretty sure MK will never see the sun again with you gone 😭

user68 we still hate you

user69 fuck off

yukitsunoda0511 🥺🫶🏻

yourusername 😚🫴🏻💕

yourbff it’ll be hard, but it’ll be good

yourusername thankfully i won’t be alone

yourbff not long to wait

yourusername yeah, soon soon

user70 ???

user71 I have a headache just thinking about everything the soon soon could be about

user72 really doubt Max is staying much longer in RedBull seeing how many engineers are quitting

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[Twitter] f1.driv.updates just posted

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[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user73 has replied to your story :

no yeah we get it this looks much better than the factory lmao

user74 has replied to your story :

Honey bee ?? I’ve heard that one before

oscarpiastri has replied to your story :

Mom said you haven’t gone to see her yet ! Meanie !

user75 has replied to your story :

crazy how Max starts winning again since you’re gone

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[Instagram] f1 just posted a photo

F1 : BREAKING : Max Verstappen has announced his retirement after winning his 4th World’s Drivers Championship.

Record breaker.

Late braker.

Legend.

#ThankYouMax

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user76 WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

user77 when I tell you I fell to my knees

user78 screaming crying throwing up

user79 I refuse to believe this is true

user80 what the hell was this season

user81 DTS is gonna have a field day with this one

user80 doubt 10 episodes are gonna be enough

redbullracing There aren’t enough words to describe the impact you’ve had on our history, Max. You’ll forever be a pillar of the RedBull family, and an icon of the sport. Tudududu 🧡

lewishamilton Thank you for the challenges, you’ve always pushed us to go harder. Never thought I would have to see you leave, but we’ll keep your legacy running 👑

user82 Alonso when ???

user83 Who’s gonna take his seat ? Honey badger comeback ?

user84 doubt it, he said in the only interview he gave that he had some friends to go see a few continents away, bet he was talking bout Danny

user85 April Fools ?

user86 In December ??

user87 I really don’t understand why, everything was going much better with the car lately

user88 I think he’s just done with the sport, he said multiple time he wouldn’t force it if he didn’t feel like it anymore

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[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user89 has replied to your story :

wait, if that’s lover boy, who’s the guy you were with lately ??

user90 has replied to your story :

Sydney airport !!

user91 has replied to your story :

OMG I KNEW I SAW MAX IN SYDNEY THIS MORNING WTF I RECOGNIZE HIM

yourbff has replied to your story :

you did it bby, it’s time to rest now

ily, we will 💕

user92 has replied to your story :

The timing with Max quitting RB is so odd I’m seriously questioning my sanity rn

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yourusername, danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 : War is Over.

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[Instagram] danielricciardo just posted a photo

danielricciardo : From sneaking out of restaurants to barricading the doors of our shared hotel rooms, I wish I could have told the world earlier how much I love you. But I’m glad I can now. There’s something magical about finding the one, so when you find the two, you’ll make any radical change necessary to protect them. Think you were right Maxie, the farm life does suit us.

This was the Honey Badger, peace ✌🏻

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[Instagram] maxverstappen1 just posted a photo

maxverstappen1 : Turning off comments coz those two are mine and you can only admire them from afar. I know they’re pretty. They’re mine. And I’ll say it as many times as I want now. Mine mine mine mine mine

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[Instagram] yourusername just posted a photo

yourusername : Oh, I’m sorry, did I say Lover Boy ? I meant Boys 🤭

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user93 WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

user94 mother is finally letting us out of the cage and none of us can take it

user95 the first pic

user96 I could die

user97 who the fuck even took it

user98 she said “y’all won’t let me post their faces ? I’ll give you the whole sextape”

user99 I knew it I fucking knew it Maxiel nation we won

oscarpiastri so happy for you guys, go be free with the little goats 🥹

yourusername pls try to survive

maxverstappen1 and if RB tries to buy you RUN BACK HOME

user100 oh shit it’s time for no filter Max era

yourusername you’ve had a taste this year, be prepared for the real deal

yukitsunoda0511 finally i can stop pretending to not speak English when asked about you

danielricciardo you were pretending very well if I may say

yukitsunoda0511 thanks !

user101 oh yuki sweet summer child…

user102 don’t tell me in Japan already ??

yourusername you really took a good look at this pic and thought “yeah, those two are straight” ? It’s a you issue honestly

user102 yeah okay fair

user103 7th pic ???

maxverstappen1 Abu Dhabi ‘21

maxverstappen1 tasted better than champagne tbh

user104 oh so y’all are just leaking EVERYTHING now, no fucks given

danielricciardo I had to pay a lot for those pics to not get out back then so yeah kinda

danielricciardo which is a shame when we look so good

user105 sooooo… about the high performance athlete….?

maxverstappen1 yes.

yourusername yes.

danielricciardo 💕

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[Twitter] danyfanclub just posted

[il-miele-che-scrive]

Can't get over dj Lando in Bali for new years so can I request a smau where he's partying there with reader aka Max's sister? And she's like a dutch influencer so people are kinda like 🤨what they doin doe

My first fic of 2024 🫶 happy new year and enjoy, hoping you don't mind I made Y/n into an ex-junkie for the ✨drama✨, but I've had this idea on my mind for quite some time now, because it's like she's the opposite of her brother. Also I couldn't not make Y/n be friends with a few other drivers too, and also the caption on the last post is 🤌 I loved making this fanfic

y/n_verstappen A last minute decision to spend the end of the year in Bali

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maxverstappen1 Have fun with your girls, don't get in too much trouble

↳y/n_verstappen Yeah... just me and my girls... me & my girls & I

↳username2 guys I have a feeling she's plotting smth

↳username1 we love to see big brother max being the dad

↳username3 that's cuz Jos did a pretty shitty job

yourfriend1 missed this ❤️ grateful to be ending this year with you @/y/n_verstappen @/yourfriend2

↳y/n_verstappen you don't ever know how grateful I am to be in Bali with my favorite people!

↳yourfriend2 I love you guys 🥹😭

↳username2 SHE SAID PEOPLE I repeat she said PEOPLE instead of GIRLS

landonorris Wow I wonder who took these pics of you, they're very nice

↳y/n_verstappen I hired a professional photographer😼pretty expensive if you ask me, but also worth it

↳maxverstappen1 Please quit flirting with my sister

↳landonorris @/maxverstappen1 I'm flirting with the photographer lmao he's very talented if you didn't notice

charles_leclerc Looking forward to hanging out when you're back ☀

↳y/n_verstappen Charlie I went to Switzerland with you before Xmas 😭 it's been a week

↳charles_leclerc Arthur made me post this comment

↳y/n_verstappen tell him I miss him then 🫶 you? not so much 🖕

↳arthur_leclerc I kiss you too @/y/n_verstappen

↳arthur_leclerc *miss

↳y/n_verstappen phew 😮‍💨 you've almost triggered a particular someone

↳username2 this someone being your brother, right Y/n? RIGHT Y/N?!

↳yourfriend1 sure you can go vroom in circles but can you fight? ��

↳yourfriend2 that's not the person you should target this question at and we both know that 👀

↳username2 SOMEONE CRACK THIS CODE PLS 😭

↳username3 i mean, she's definitely hinting at Y/n dating a driver 🤷‍♀️ maybe someone from the current f1 grid even

↳username4 @/username2 @/username3 y'all be jumping into assumptions too quickly

username3 Guys I still can't believe Y/n was with the Leclercs in Switzerland and Alexandra wasn't

↳username4 Shut up, Y/n has been friends with the Leclerc brothers ever since Max and Charles' karting era

↳username3 wtf chill 💀 I'm joking (although I wouldn't complain if she ended up dating Charles or Arthur)

y/n_verstappen Adventures are better together

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landonorris The mask suits you, never take it off ❤️

↳username1 HELP why's he so mean to Max's sister💀

↳y/n_verstappen watch out in Bahrain 2024 🔫 sent a screenshot of your comment to the family groupchat

↳charles_leclerc you sent it to our groupchat with max and carlos

↳y/n_verstappen exactly

↳landonorris excuse me @/y/n_verstappen may I be added to the family groupchat?

↳y/n_verstappen excuse me @/landonorris, are you family?

↳landonorris that's my goal for 2024

username5 Look at Y/n having fun in Bali for her brother's money 😬

↳yourfriend1 more like the secret photographer's money 😇*this comment was deleted*

username3 MISS, DON'T ACT LIKE WE HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR COMMENT

↳username2 AND DON'T ACT LIKE IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

charles_leclerc better than the adventures in Switzerland? 🤔

↳maxverstappen1 cringe

↳carlossainz55 cringe

↳georgerussell63 cringe

↳yourfriend1 cringe

↳yourfriend2 cringe

↳landonorris cringe

↳y/n_verstappen jealous Lando?

↳landonorris wtf 5 other people said cringe and I'm the jealous one?

↳y/n_verstappen well, technically 4 other people since Max is my brother

↳landonorris 4 other people and I'm the jealous one?

↳y/n_verstappen Max is my brother, I only tolerate Carlos, no one likes George and his shirtless pics, and my girls are basically pets

↳yourfriend1 arf!

carlossainz55 I thought you can't swim

↳y/n_verstappen I prefer not to swim, but the selfie was worth it

landonorris I've changed my mind about the mask, it's lovely, where can I get one? 🥰

↳y/n_verstappen wow that was quick, I wonder if @/maxverstappen1 has anything to do with it

↳y/n_verstappen anyway, I got it just down the road on my morning walk

↳landonorris how would I know where that is 🙄

↳y/n_verstappen want me to walk you there? 🙄

↳username2 DOES IT MEAN LANDO IS IN BALI TOO?!

↳username3 @/username2 GIRL THEY MIGHT BE ON VACATION TOGETHER

↳username2 i knew she was plotting something 😭

y/n_verstappen Darling, I fancy you

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username1 WHO IS THAT MAN 🔫 I JUST WANNA TALK

maxverstappen1 Y/n pick up the phone, you can't post and disappear

↳username2 rip to whoever is the mysterious man

↳username3 imagine your brother in law is max verstappen and he hates you before you even meet

↳landonorris ikr, terrible, i could never

↳username3 WTF LANDO

yourfriend1 my fav couple but when will you hard launch?

↳charles_leclerc asking the most important question right there

carlossainz55 I'm tired of knowing who he is and being forced to keep quiet

↳maxverstappen1 what? you found out before me?

↳carlossainz55 in Y/n's defence, the man couldn't keep it a secret

↳username2 alright chat now we know it's someone close to Carlos

↳username1 @/username2 CHARLES?

↳username2 @/username1 no, it can't be him, look a few comments above

↳username3 @/username1 @/username2 I'm being delulu but... Arthur? I'm just manifesting it's him

↳username2 and Charles wouldn't know?

↳username3 well, Max didn't 🤡

↳charles_leclerc don't be shy Carlito tell us

danielricciardo Ki ki ki ra

↳landonorris KI KI AY

↳y/n_verstappen I wanted to say it 😡 why are u so quick??

↳landonorris well, you're trying to compete with an f1 driver, better luck next time

username2 GUYS what if it's LANDO??? Close to Carlos ☑ can vroom circles ☑ possibly also in Bali rn ☑

↳username1 you might have a point plus the caption is Taylor Swift and Lando is a swiftie

↳username5 Is he? I thought it's a British thing to say you have a crush on someone

↳username2 @/username5 well, he's British, so another hint from Y/n I guess

username7 i surely hope her and Lando aren't dating, she's a retired drug addict

↳username1 leave the past in the past, let this girl be happy

arthur_leclerc y/n has a boyfriend y/n has a boyfriend

↳y/n_verstappen don't worry, someday you'll have one too

↳arthur_leclerc let's see if you'll keep this attitude introducing your new bf to Max 😄🖕

y/n_verstappen Als je bitch wil chillen is het geen probleem dan ga ik erheen, ik kom niet alleen want ik heb drank en drugs

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yourfriend1 amazing night!! 💜💜

↳y/n_verstappen we loved the music didn't we 😼

↳landonorris you're welcome 😌

username7 the caption 🥶

↳username2 chill out it's just a song literally!!

↳username3 i can't even remember all the times I've seen Max edited to this song on tiktok lmao

arthur_leclerc You clubbing without me?

↳y/n_verstappen it was a girls night 😇🖕

↳yourfriend2 no it wasn't 🫶

↳yourfriend1 tbh it was, her boyfriend spent more time DJing anyway

username1 why can't they make it official already 🥹

↳username2 I bet Carlos is wondering the same

landonorris I hope you tipped the DJ well for entertaining you half the night

↳y/n_verstappen I guess if you can call entertaining him for the 2nd half of the night in our hotel room a good tip

↳maxverstappen1 WHAT AM I READING

↳charles_leclerc asking myself the same question @/maxverstappen1

↳arthur_leclerc too much information

↳carlossainz55 Does it mean I don't have to keep the secret anymore?

maxverstappen1 Delete this post

↳y/n_verstappen no ❤️

josverstappen7 Gelukkig nieuwjaar maar ik vind deze fotos niet leuk*

↳y/n_verstappen wtf @/maxverstappen1

*happy new year but I don't like these photos

landonorris I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter, she is the best thing that's ever been mine

view all comments

y/n_verstappen *not so* careful, but you get a point for Taylor Swift lyrics

↳landonorris I'm literally in love with you

↳y/n_verstappen surely not more than I am in love with you ❤️

↳charles_leclerc cringe

↳arthur_leclerc cringe

↳oscarpiastri cringe

↳logansargeant cringe

↳yourfriend1 shut up all of you

y/n_verstappen btw just because I'm in love with you doesn't mean I can't kill you for posting the third pic

↳landonorris pls you'd never

↳y/n_verstappen I still have the screenshot that could make Max crash into you 🔫

carlossainz55 Finally, I was starting to worry

↳username2 WAR IS OVER 😭

oscarpiastri So happy for you guys!

↳landonorris double date when?

maxverstappen1 You're the only person I'd accept as my brother in law

↳landonorris thanks champ xx 🙏

↳username3 HE'S SO SASSY I CANT-

↳charles_leclerc what about @/arthur_leclerc? I thought you liked him, I thought we had plans

↳y/n_verstappen YOU HAD PLANS?

↳arthur_leclerc YOU HAD PLANS?

↳landonorris YOU HAD PLANS?

username5 I'd love to see Y/n and Arthur as a couple, but I'm so happy for her and Lando 😭

↳username3 nahhh Y/n and Arthur totally have besties vibe, siblings even, can't imagine them as a couple

username1 okay guys so do you think they speak dutch or english when they're alone?

↳username3 Do you think Lando can speak dutch well enough?

↳username1 well, I don't know, just wondering, but he's half Belgian

↳username5 I imagine their conversations to be mostly english mixed with dutch and french, very chaotic and people around don't get anything they say

↳yourfriend1 I can confirm this, it's very frustrating for a person who knows only english

↳username1 does Y/n know french?

↳y/n_verstappen I was forced to learn both french AND italian hanging out with Charles and Arthur, and with Lando I speak mostly english, but I try to mix some dutch into it, however no french here because I'm traumatized <3

↳username1 aaaaaa we love a multilingual queen 🫶

↳username3 so now Lando learns dutch for both his mother and his girlfriend 🥹

↳y/n_verstappen he has a lot to learn, but at least his flemish accent is kinda cute!!

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

Hiii congrats on 2k! 🥰😘 can I request canon post war Levi x reader exploring the world they fought for and cuz I have to include this the reader blurting out how pretty he is and him calling her a brat

Sorry for this oddly specific weird request I'll go back to my corner now lol

I LOVE THIS PIC SM SDKFJKSDJF HE'S SO POUTY

turned this into a oneshot oops LMAO i just love postwar dadvi sm 😭

also shout-out to @chaotic-on-main for the cute idea of levi trying to explain the rumbling through shitty drawings

Just Being You | 2K Follower Event | Post-War Dadvi Oneshot

✧ word count ➼ 1.2k ✧ notes ➼ post-war, fluff, levi's attempt at explaining the Rumbling to a six year old lol

"Daddy, why is the island the only place that doesn't need to be fixed?"

You looked down at your six-year-old daughter that had been spinning in circles just a few seconds ago that was now kneeling next to Levi in his wheelchair, bombarding him with questions regarding the Rumbling.

The three of you were currently on a boat traveling back from Paradis Island, having decided to take a few weeks of vacationing to see the Titan-free world that so many had been sacrificed for. You were on your way back from the island after showing your daughter where her parents met, as well as some of the nicer areas of the island that wasn't overwhelmed with their military forces, like the beach or the meadow that you and Levi commonly snuck off to when you were overwhelmed.

You quickly tried to formulate some response about how it was too complicated for you to explain right now, not wanting to expose your six-year-old to the horrors that nearly caused the extinction of humanity, but you looked towards Levi as he reached into his bag to pull something out to help answer her question.

This wasn't that much of a surprise to you. Levi wasn't a fan of lying to her. He never was the type to sugarcoat or make up some cheesy story to avoid exposing kids to the grim reality of what had happened, and he especially wasn't the type to do that to his own kid.

You saw him pull out his sketchbook that he had recently picked up, wanting to pursue some type of hobby that he could do from the couch or his wheelchair on days when his knee was flaring up.

You watched as he began to draw out the Titans, explaining how big they were compared to humans, and how colossal the Titans involved in the Rumbling were, eventually going on to explain that the big Titans came from the island and spread throughout the world. You found yourself considerably impressed with how he was explaining the war without going into too many details regarding the xenophobia the world had against the Eldians.

"What's that?" your daughter asked, genuinely interested, but also confused as Levi began drawing the structure of the Walls.

Levi wasn't a great artist. He had started drawing the Walls to explain how the Titans moved during the Rumbling, but it was from a top-down perspective, so it just looked like three circles surrounded by stick figures.

"The walls that used to be on the island," he explained with a sigh.

"Is that the island?" she asked, pointing to the dot at the center that was supposed to represent Mitras. "Why were the Walls built in the ocean?"

"They weren't," he explained, trying to hide the irritation in his voice over his inability to draw something comprehensible. "That was Mitras, the Capital and center of the island. The Walls surrounded it."

You watched her nod rapidly as he explained whatever it was that he was trying to draw. Despite how much he was struggling to get his point across, she seemed to be genuinely interested in the history of the island.

"Why are there people floating?" she asked after he began explaining how you used mobility gear to fight against the Titans to compensate for how large they were.

"Is that supposed to be me?" you asked, finally leaning over to see what it was that he was trying to draw, and pointing at a stick figure that vaguely had a hairstyle matching yours.

Levi paused and you could tell that he was getting exasperated with the comments and questions.

You could almost hear him blatantly groan in relief as he cursed underneath his breath once your child's attention was ripped away by a dog belonging to another one of the tourists running by.

"Mommy, can I go play with the puppy?" she asked excitedly while tugging at your shirt.

You nodded, reaching down and fixing a strand of her hair that had formed into a loop after getting tangled.

"Just don't go too far, okay? And be nice to them. I'm sure that poor puppy is overwhelmed."

You watched as she ran off to play with the dog while incoherently explaining Levi's history lesson to them.

Sighing, you sat down on the bench next to Levi as he pinched the bridge of his nose, quickly developing a headache from how flustered he had gotten while trying to explain a somewhat complex topic to his child that had yet to develop an attention span.

"Maybe we can pay for you to get art lessons once we get back home."

"Don't start," Levi grumbled, barely letting you finish your sentence.

You chuckled at his reaction as you grabbed at the drawings he had produced. They were indeed terrible and barely comprehensible, but ended up looking quite cute as a result, despite the fact that they were attempting to depict a bleak reality.

Your smile gradually faded as you got reminded of the horrific events that occurred surrounding the Rumbling, and even before then, when you were trapped within the Walls, with your comrades dying left and right while fighting in what seemed like a hopeless war.

"Lev'," you voiced, getting his attention, "don't you think she's a bit too young to be explaining all this to?"

He glanced over at you.

"What, you want me to lie to her instead?"

"She's six," you reminded him. "I don't know if she can even comprehend the fact that nearly all of humanity was wiped out."

Levi paused for a moment, knowing that you were right. It was a big topic to be explaining to someone so young. Still, he wouldn't have felt right lying to her in a vain effort to protect her innocence while living in a world that was nowhere near innocent.

"She's a smart kid," he eventually murmured. "She'll manage."

After noticing that you weren't responding, he looked over at you, and saw you eyeing him with a warm smile on your face, despite the fact that the two of you were in disagreement over this topic.

"What?"

"Hmm? Oh nothing, it's just..."

You trailed off, slightly shaking your head as you tried to keep the smile on your face from growing too wide.

"I just love seeing you with her like this. It's almost like it's in your nature—being a dad," you mused, your heart warming. "Never thought I'd be fortunate enough to get to see papa Levi on a daily basis."

You looked at him as you smiled, noticing the slight tint that had appeared on his cheeks.

"Plus, I never get to really appreciate how god damn pretty you are when you're just...being you."

Levi was clearly struggling to hide the blush forming on his cheeks and ears at this point, and cleared his throat as he shifted around in his chair after averting his gaze.

"What?" you teased, noting his struggles in maintaining that aloof demeanor that you had worked so hard to break down throughout your relationship.

"You're such a brat sometimes," he grumbled, annoyed—and a tad embarrassed—at the fact that you pointed out his natural tendency when it came to fathering your child.

You chuckled as you leaned forward and placed a gentle and quick kiss on his cheek.

"Love you too, Ackerman."

tagging since this was an actual oneshot! :3 #: @chaotic-on-main @levisbrat25 @leviismybby @moonmalice @averysmolbear @cathybarn @tclbts @emiwhore @bejewelledd @sad-darksoul @ackermendick @aomi04 @apolloshaiku @laraackerman @pulpolicia @raenacreates @nube55 @roseofdarknessblog @saenora @noctemys @sixpennydame @sleepyfairyxo @heichoucleanfreak @svftackerman @catskze @nixie-writes-aot @la-undercover-latina @v4mp-wife @darkstarlight82 @professorweezy @braunsbabe

[thursdaygxrls]

this is a bit self indulgent to request lol but i’m very partial to any hunger games au just so my babies arent as traumatized by the end lmao😭

maybe pirate!finnick x reader where they take r captive? finnick brings her some food and makes sure the other pirates keep away from r

anon, i do not know how i feel about this one. i absolutely loved this request, but i may have screwed up the pic. apologies 🙏 i tried using second person for the first time also. the beginning may be confusing, please bear with me

a simple mistake

pairing pirate!finnick odair x maid!reader

summary when the pirates of the mockingjay planned to kidnap the princess, they thought everything would go smoothly. however, there's one big problem: they kidnapped the wrong girl.

warnings unedited shitty writing, kidnapping, guns, gale, modern language in a different time period

Wherever you were, it was dark. Or maybe it was just the blindfold.

It felt like moments ago that you were tucked cozily into her bed, your body encased by down. There was a crash somewhere in the castle - down the hall? You were only half awake as cloth that smelled like dirt and saltwater wrapped itself tightly around your eyes, and you were dragged from her slumber.

This was a mistake. A horrible, horrible mistake. Tried tried to explain this to her captors as they tugged her, but all you could muster was a few muffled noises over the bitter-tasting gag tied around you. To their credit, those holding you right now were strong and fast: they kept a tight grip on her arm while being able to shove you forward at a fast pace. Lost in your panic, you didn't catch what they were saying to each other: "Are you sure this is her?" "Yes, I'm sure. To the right, four doors down from the window."

"Your right or his right?" "The right of the window!"

They kept their tone hushed as they began to descend a staircase. In the back of your mind, you recognized the pattern in which the steps descended: one, two, three, four, turn, five, six, seven, eight, turn - they were headed down the servant's staircase in the back of the castle. There was an exit hatch at the bottom.

With little hope, you thrashed in their grip. As expected, they handled it with ease. The thought that this may be a normal occurrence swirled in your brain, inciting more and more fear.

"Would you stop? It's hard enough going down these steps without someone kicking at me," the person to your left huffed. His tone was odd. For being the perpetrator of a kidnapping, there was no biting edge to his words.

Your bare feet hit the dewy grass with no warning. In between racing thoughts and heaved breaths, you'd made it to the exit. It was summer, but the coolness of the night air settled over your skin and made you shiver. You were only in your night shift, after all: shabby cloth that provided a nearly sufficient amount of modesty.

Boom!

The noise has you screaming against the cloth as the two holding you swear.

Boom!

There it was again, loud and threatening.

“Guards are a worse shot than I thought,” the man to your left says as they pick up the pace.

Boom!

Oh, God, the guards were shooting at them — were shoot at you! Hushed prayers are whispered from your lips, though, they’re unintelligible. The person to your right must pick up on the trembling in your body because they begin moving at an impossibly faster speed. You wonder how they haven’t fainted by now, how you haven’t fainted by now.

“Don’t worry,” they say, speaking to you through the gunshots, “Never had cargo die on us before. Plus, it’s not you they’re shooting at, it’s us.”

This does nothing to quell your fears, but a new sensation under your feet works to distract your ever rushing mind. If it wasn’t for the two people practically carrying you, you would be sinking in the soft earth beneath you. It was a bit coarse, but delicate, and parted to make way for your feet. Was it sand? There was yelling in all directions: next to you, behind, in front. Then you hit an incline, and the softness of the sand roughened under your feed. You were rocking, too, and not just you, the ones holding you up. There was a crash entirely unlike the sound of the guns, and another sway — oh, fuck.

This was a ship.

“They’re on us!” One of them screamed as you plateaued to a surface

“In a minute, they won’t even see us,” a gruff voice responded, seemingly unfazed by nearing sound of gunshots. There was a loud groan and suddenly, you were moving. Though the two still had a strong hold on you, you stumbled as the ship began to move. The gunshots, which had been getting louder, were sounding much more distant. Even if it was only a minute or two since you’d been hoisted onto the ship, it felt like hours.

“I was hoping this would be a clean job, y’know, no—” The gruff voice which had spoken before stopped. You could hear an unsteady breath as footsteps neared you.

“You’ve gotta be shittin’ me.”

And then there was light, nearly blinding from the amount of time you’d spent in the dark. The owner of the voice ripped the cloth from your eyes in one swoop, and you cringed at the bleeding dawn along the horizon.

“What?” You whipped your head to the left, finding a tall older boy with dark brown hair and bright eyes.

“This is not the Princess.” You could now see the owner of the gruff voice, who was a middle-aged man with greasy, chin length blonde hair and scruff around his chin. His eyes were trained on you as he spoke.

“What?” The boy repeated.

“You grabbed the wrong goddamn girl, Gale,” the man’s voice boomed.

“I told you something was off,” the man on the right — tall and bald — groaned.

“Why the hell did you not say that before you kidnapped her?” The blonde man huffed.

“I did!” He argued back.

“What are we gonna do with her?” Gale spoke up.

“I…I don’t know,” the blonde sighed, “We can’t go back now, not like this. They’ll have the land and water covered in an hour. Just take her down.”

“Haymitch, I’m really—”

“Just take her down, Gale,” Haymitch, the blonde man, repeated in a stern tone. The boy bowed his head, and the bald man followed suit, turning you and hauling you away from the front of the deck. Had you not been so dimmed with exhaustion from running from gunfire and screaming against the gag in your mouth, you may have done a little more fighting during that conversation. Instead, you studied the crew of the ship who were running around as though you didn’t exist. They shouted at each other, likely still executing their speedy getaway off the main island. As they lead you to the door at the middle of the dock, you noticed Gale eyeing you.

“You’re…not the Princess?” He asked quietly.

“She can’t speak,” the bald man rolled his eyes before taking the gag from your mouth. Immediately, you heaved in a deep breath, finding that the air was still salty even without the seawater-flavored gag.

“You’re not?” Gale repeated his question as though you didn’t hear him.

“No.” You found your voice to be hoarse, but forceful as you glared at him. In finding this voice, questions exploded from your mouth.

“What the hell is going on? Let me go! Why did you take me? Where am I?” They ignored these questions.

“We should’ve asked her first,” the bald man groaned.

“She would’ve said ‘no’ even if she was the Princess!” Gale yelled. They pushed past the door and lead you down the steps to a small hall. They turned onto the first room.

“Well, we’re here,” Gale sighed, letting go of your arm. Your limbs felt like jelly from being pulled and shoved for so long, however, you tried your hand at pushing past them and running. The question of where you would go was a thought for later.

“Woah,” the bald man immediately grabbed ahold of you as you attempted your escape, “Please try to stay put, alright? There’s not many places for you to go.”

“Why am I here?” You asked again, your tone laced with anger.

“Just sit tight for a while, okay?” Gale spoke awkwardly as he and the other man kept you still.

“Sit tight?” You repeated indignantly.

“Please just go sit, I don’t want to tie you up,” the bald man sighed. To your surprise, there was genuine sympathy in his voice. Even so, you stared at them, unmoving. This silent chess match carried on for another thirty seconds before a groan left Gale, and he shoved you to the floor. Your behind hit the floor hard, and before you could scramble to pick yourself up, they were out the door. You got to your feet and helplessly tried the doorknob, but it was already locked.

“That was just plain rude,” you could hear the muffled voice of the bald man through the door, “What’s wrong with you, man?”

“She wasn’t moving,” Gale’s voice was somewhat unfazed.

“You’re an ass, really.” The voices faded out, and it was then, for the first time in what seemed like forever, that you were alone. The room was small, wooden, and windowless. There was a cot with a threadbare blanket and a sorry excuse for a pillow on one end and a tattered table and chair on the other.

You tried to find ways to occupy yourself: banging on the door, screaming, punching the pillow, questioning God, picking at the wood, acquiring splinters. Any amount of time could’ve passed: seconds, minutes, hours, days. Well, maybe not days, but it felt like it. You were laying on the cot, counting the rings in the ceiling when the lock jostled. You sat straight up, jumping from your bed when the door opened. You rushed at the entry, only to be blocked by a rough hand.

“They said you’re quick,” a mellow voice followed the hand. This wasn’t the man who demanded you were taken here or either of the ones who followed his orders; he was new. Sandy blonde hair that gently spiked on his head, tanned skin, likely from his days on the deck, dark blue eyes, and pink lips that stretched into a crooked smile. While one of his arms kept you secure, the other held a tray with a portion of bread, a bowl, and a metal cup.

“What is going on?” You asked gruffly.

“I can tell you, but you have to promise you won’t run the second I step away from this door,” he said, looking a bit more calm than one might expect. You, still staring him down, considered the options, and with a relenting sigh, backed away. He entered the room, that easy smile still on his face as he shut the door behind him.

“So,” He spoke, eyeing you, “I take it you’re not the Princess.”

“No, I am not,” you responded, voice terse with frustration.

“I see,” he nodded, then gestured towards the cot for you to sit. You obliged cautiously. As far as kidnappings went, this one was rather polite — but it was still a kidnapping.

“I can assure you that the plan was not to kidnap you,” he sighed, taking a seat at the table. He extended the tray of food towards you, but you don’t take it. Not yet.

“And what was the plan?” You asked, eyebrow cocked.

“Well, darlin’,” he began, “The plan was to kidnap the Princess and ransom her back. Take that money and spread it across the islands, give back to those who need it.” Suspicion peaked in you, and it was obvious he could tell, because his smile stretched further.

“What, don’t believe me?” He hummed, cocking his head.

“Would you trust someone who stole you?” You fired back. He laughed gently at that.

“Probably not, but you’re lucky it was instead of anyone else,” he spoke.

“Lucky?” You repeated with a scoff.

“Darlin’, this ship we’re on? It’s the Mockingjay,” he set his palm on his knee. This struck a chord; the Mockingjay. You’d heard of them before, just rumors. Some called them the gentle pirates, others called them weaklings. They took what they wanted with force, but never caused any casualties.

“I’m Finnick,” he interrupted your thoughts suddenly, extending his hand, “And I’m just dying to know your name.”

Though you took his hand with reluctance, you didn’t speak a word. This creased a wrinkle along his forehead.

“I think it’s best if we do introductions now rather than later,” he said, keeping his deep blue eyes on you. A sigh escaped you before you turned from his gaze and towards the ceiling.

“Y/n,” you replied quietly.

“Pretty name. Wish we were meeting under different circumstances, but I’ll take what I can get,” he grinned, “Who are you, Y/n?”

“I’m a maid,” you spoke, unsure why you replied instead of ignoring him, “The Princess’s Lady in Waiting. Her companion.”

“Ah, I see,” he hummed, “That’s why you had yourself a room up there. You and the Princess close?” You don’t respond to this, jaw clenched.

“I’m sorry for this, Y/n, truly,” he frowned, “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

“But it was a kidnapping all the same,” you sigh.

“You’re right. You’re right, but we’re not perfect people. We do what we have to. And right now,” he grabbed the tray once more, extending it towards you, “I have to make sure you eat.”

“Aren’t you supposed to give me the tray and leave?” You glared at him.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, the tray still in his hands, “I guess I do what I want. And I want to sit with you while you eat.”

“Why?” You don’t let up with your accusing gaze.

“I wouldn’t want a pretty lady starving on my ship. That would just break my heart,” he grinned. Another second of silence.

“Are you going to kill me?” You asked, a weak shudder in your voice betraying your cold stare. It would make sense, after all: you were useless. The King wouldn’t pay a ransom for a maid.

“What?” The question seemed to genuinely shock him, “No, oh, God, no. I wouldn’t lay a hand on you.”

“What about them out there? The rest of the crew?” You gestured to the door.

“They wouldn’t either, but even if they tried, I wouldn’t let them get to you,” he spoke, surprisingly reassuring, “You’re not going to be killed, I can assure you of that.”

You swallowed hard, finally looking back at him to see the genuine look in his eyes. He seemed kind, which was strange. Was it some sort of manipulation tactic? A means to an end?

“Are you going to eat, or should I start spoon-feeding you?” He asked, that easy smile appearing on his face once more. Hesitantly, you took the plate from his hands. He stayed there, sitting across from you, watching you lift the cup to your mouth. Sadly, you couldn’t deny your manners, and before you took a sip, you looked at him.

“Thank you, Finnick,” you mumbled.

“My pleasure, Darlin’,” he replied, grinning as you tucked into your meal.

[klance-headcanons-official]

HEADCANONNS 🫶

- whenever Keith sees lance or any of the others, his pupils dilate. Like a cat 🤗

- lance, despite being good at flirting, was such a loser when it came to flirting with Keith, he’d use cheesy ass pick up lines. Keith always gave a blank face but he thought it was stupidly cute

- Keith and lance have almost been caught making out multiple times. Despite this, none of the paladins know they are dating. It concerns Keith ‘are.. are they stupid?’ And amuses lance to no end ‘I think so babe!’

- Keith cannot cook to save his life. He asked hunk for help. Dont get me wrong, he’s still shitty at it, but now he can make overcooked boxed pasta! Seriously, hunk is genuinely concerned on how he is still alive

- Keith loves cats but is allergic to them

- pidge has a hamster back on earth! Matt named it survivor cause it kept getting swooped up by an owl and cause he liked the show survivor

- that owl was Keith’s owl that he named Athena

- Keith bites lance.

- lance will jump on Keith, after they start dating, to see if he catches him. Every single time he catches him. He’s broken multiple cups

- whenever one of the paladins + coran see Keith out in the wild, aka when they see him randomly while he’s working with the blade, they take a pic of him and send it to him with the caption ‘this u?’ Or a variation of that

- Lance and Keith both bat their eyelashes to get something they want from random aliens. To the surprise of literally all of them, including the other paladins, they get whatever they want

- Keith does not like sweets. He tries, he really does because all the other humans like sweet shit, but he just can’t

- lance really likes spicy shit. So hunk makes his food pretty spicy. Well as best as he can cause of yk.. being in space. Coran tried some of it. His face was as red as Keith’s lion

- coran and pidge CANNOT handle spice. Keith and shiro can because shiro liked it as a kid and Keith’s dad loved spicy shit. Allura and lance both love it because of their parents. Hunk can eat spicy shit but doesn’t care for it

This turned into a spice tolerance post 🌚

- Vee 💜

i love them so much

(TT)

Also sorry I didn't post today lmao I was busy pining

[ghostofthemost141]

Vanilla

Pairing: Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish x F!Reader, Third POV, no use of (Y/N)

Word Count: 3,142

Themes: Some Angst and Fluff, Some Suggestive Talk so !18+!, brief talks of Domestic Violence from an ex

About: You mourn the absence of your boyfriend while he is on a long mission.

Notes: Preface warning, I am still getting used to writing both British and Scottish into my fics so it ain't gonna be the best lmao but I am trying! Nickname for you here is Bonnie cause why not. Also let me know if you prefer First or Third POV for the fics. Hope you enjoy my first Soap x reader!

The warm vanilla scent engulfed into the living room almost instantly after you lit the candle. It was your favorite scent ever and it reminded you so much of your loved one. When you and Johnny first started going out, Johnny had some kind of strong vanilla scented cologne on. So anytime you smelled vanilla, it instantly made you think of him. You would always light a candle every time you missed Johnny. And while you shedded a few tears mourning his missing absence in y’alls home, the vanilla scent would enter your nostrils and comfort you. You missed him dearly tonight. You last heard from him early this morning. It was nearing five this morning when your phone rang. Luckily you were a light sleeper and instantly woke up to it, rushing to answer it. 

“Johnny?” You tiredly spoke into the phone. 

“In da flesh. Well almost.” Johnny jokes. 

You smiled to yourself, hearing his strong accent on the other side of the phone. 

“Sorry it’s early, Bonnie.” Johnny apologized, feeling bad for waking you up. 

“Don’t you ever apologize for waking me up, Johnny. You know I will always take the opportunity to talk to ya.” You reassured him, “when are you coming home?” 

“‘Opefully soon, my love. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, Johnny. Just missin’ ya is all.” 

“Oh really?” 

You could hear the smirk from his side. 

“Why? You don’t miss me?” 

“Aye. You ‘ave no idea, Bonnie. Some days are harder than others, if you catch me drift.” Johnny whispered that last part. 

You knew exactly what he meant by that. 

“Aw you poor thing.” You say with a chuckle and Johnny did the same. 

“Oi, you were the one who sent me tha’ pic of ya.” 

He got you there. While he was on long missions, you liked to go out, buy a new underwear set, and send him a picture of you in it. In your defense, it was something for Johnny to look forward to when he got home. 

“Well did you like it or not?” 

“Steamin; Jesus of course I did. You’re so gorgeous Bonnie, but you can’t be teasin’ me like dat.” Johnny told you, making you blush a little. 

Even though Johnny and you have been together for a couple of years now, his little charms and flirts still get you red in the face to this day. There was just something about him. It’s how you met. 

“I often think about how fate brought us together.” 

“Oh yeah? ‘Ow so?” Johnny asked. 

~

As you retold it to Johnny, you couldn’t help but feel grateful with what happened. You were at the bar one night with your ex boyfriend. You didn’t care for going out to bars but you did it for your ex. That night, he was being more of an asshole than usual. Talking you down, ignoring you, flirting with other girls, and just being overall shitty. He left you by yourself to go talk to another girl that across the bar. As soon as he had left, you broke down in tears. You wanted to leave him, but he was a big manipulator and even scared you a little bit. You hung your head low to avoid unwanted attention and to avoid being embarrassed, but of course that ended being the opposite. 

“Aye, you okay there, lass?” 

A thick Scottish accent spoke to you. This was the first time anyone has ever approached you when your ex would wander off to do whatever with some chick he met. You wiped your tears and turned to where you heard the Scottish accent. Your heart started racing once you made eye contact with his bright blue eyes. They were so bright that they could light up a pitch dark room. The second thing you noticed about him was the mohawk that was on the top of his head. You hadn’t seen one of those haircuts in years. 

“I thought they left those in the 80s.” You softly joked, making the Scottish man laugh. 

“Oi, don’t dish the ‘hawk till you try it.” The man laughed, running his fingers through it. 

You laugh in response, clearly getting the vibe that he is a jokester. 

“What’s a pretty lad like youself doing crying at a bar at this hour?” The man asked. 

Right away you could tell he was asking out of genuineness and not trying to hit on you, despite having a hard time understanding what he was saying. 

“My boyfriend being an asshole.” 

“That bloat that walked away to flirt with another woman?” 

You nodded, confirming that it was indeed him. 

“Bloody wanker he is.” 

You couldn’t help but snort at the insult the Scottish man spoke. 

“I’m sorry I don’t mean to laugh.” You apologize to the man, hoping he didn’t find any kind of offense. 

“Whatever makes you show that pretty smile of yours, lass.” 

~

You could hear Johnny chuckling over the phone at your bad impression of him. Normally he would be mad at anyone that mocked his accent, but he didn’t mind that you did it. The rest of the phone call was just you both messing with each other until Johnny had to go. 

“I’ll be home soon, ya?” 

“Okay Johnny. I love you.” 

“I love you too. My Bonnie.” 

You hated hearing that droning beeping noise that came after he hung up. You just wanted him by your side again. You and Johnny have been together for three years now and while you don’t want to rush him, you really, really wanted to tie the knot with him, especially in his line of work. Even though he reassures me that he is fine and while he does sometimes come home with injuries he didn’t leave home with, it just scares you to death that instead of Johnny coming home, it will be his comrade Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, telling you that Johnny was KIA. You know that he does a great job in what he does and he is one of the greatest fighters out there, but you just wanted him. Little did you know that right now in this very moment that Johnny was in fact in town. You just didn’t know it yet. 

“Yeah, that one right ‘here.” Johnny spoke to the counter person. 

The person behind the counter grabbed the piece Johnny pointed out and made sure it was the right one. Johnny had never bluntly asked you what you liked, just observed you enough to know what you liked and didn’t like. He’d rather do that than ruin the surprise he had waiting for you. He still had a few more stops to make before he could make it home to you. 

Back at home, you were doing the dishes when you heard your phone peep. You quickly dried your hands to see what it was. It was a text from Johnny. You opened it up to see it was a landscape photo of the mountains. You figured he took it to show you, for you had a fond love for beautiful landscapes. 

“You on a stakeout? Beautiful picture.” You text him back, not expecting a response back. 

“Not as beautiful as you, Bonnie. But yes I am. I had to snap that for you real quick.” Johnny quickly texted back, lying through the phone screen. 

His plan was going according to plan, he just had to keep up with the lie a little while longer. You smiled at his text, totally believing what he was saying. He was completely blindslinding you, but in a good way. As the potent vanilla scent grew stronger, so did your emotions. You really missed Johnny, more than ever. You know he loves his job, but you secretly wished he didn’t have it. If he didn’t have that military job, y’all would be able to spend all the time in world with each other, do renovations around the place, and even start a family together. You both have talked about children and Johnny is always over the moon when that topic gets brought up. It just would be hard with the job he has right now. Of course, you care about his feelings so you never would say that outloud. It was selfish to think that way. He does lots of good for the world and makes sure you’re safe at home. But some days, you would prefer if the world was burning down in flames but you two be together. Just the two of you against the world. 

“I miss you, Johnny. I miss you so much that I could cry. I miss your warmth in our bed and everytime I smell vanilla, it makes me think of you. I just wish you were home right now.” 

You knew he wouldn’t be able to respond right away but you just had to get your feelings out there. You could feel the tears start rushing down your face as the message was delivered. You sat your phone down, held yourself and sat on the floor. You’ve never felt this sad in a long, long time. The last time was when your ex boyfriend hit you to the point of falling on the ground. Johnny immediately came to your rescue upon hearing your screams over the phone. Johnny could’ve killed your ex that day, but he didn’t. He only didn’t because he wanted to be with you and he can’t do that if he is in jail, even though ‘the bloody wanker deserves it.’ Meanwhile, while at the florist shop, Johnny saw your text and felt his heart break a little reading it. He understood your pain and how you felt. Little did he know what he had planned for you at this very moment. 

“I know, love and I am sorry. But I promise when I come back home, things will be different. I can’t talk right now, but I promise it will be.” 

Johnny hit send and placed his phone in his pocket, to quickly hurry home to you. You read the text the second your phone dinged. You wondered what Johnny meant by that. Your head was racing of what he could mean, but none of it made sense. Not wanting to bother him anymore, you just read it and shut your phone off. You did your calming breaths that Johnny would make you do when you were overwhelmed or upset. It works like a charm every single time. 

“You’re okay, Bonnie, you’re okay.” You spoke to yourself with the nickname Johnny gifted you. 

You might as well change your name legally to Bonnie for he seems to call you that one more than your real name but you didn’t mind it. Not one bit. You decided instead of sitting down and moping around, you would get up and knit and craft some gloves for Johnny to wear. During missions, you have taken up on the art of crafting and then indulged into stuff Johnny could wear that would be appropriate for work, but also have a piece of you and home with him at all times. Last time, you were able to make some socks that had Scotland’s flag colors on it. He loved them so much and he was wearing them when he left home a month ago. You just hoped they brought him some kind comfort like they did to you when he wore them. You got all of your crafts together, got onto the living room couch with some wine, and turned on the tv to you and Johnny’s favorite show: Masterchef. You had no idea the Scottish man had a niche for cooking competitions, let alone cooking in general but he did and he loved cooking with you especially. 

“Now why in the fuck would you combine goat cheese with apple pie filling? Sounds disgusting.” Johnny commented at one of the contestants. 

You giggled in response, half paying attention to the TV due to you crafting something. 

“You should enter in the show if you think you're better than everyone else.” You remarked. 

“Bloody hell, no I could never. All them females be flirting with me nonstop. It gets so tirin’ telling people you’re taken ya know?” 

You rolled your eyes at Johnny’s comment. 

“Just keep boosting your ego, MacTavish.” You retort back in a joking matter. 

You were currently rewatching an old season, for you don’t like to watch anything new without Johnny. He always insists that you can, as long as you don’t spoil anything, but watching shows was y’alls thing that y’all can’t do separately. You were measuring out leather that would match Johnny’s hand measurements and cutting them out, putting them to the side. The wine you had on the tableside next to you was a Saint Marc Merlot that Johnny got you when he was last stationed in his home country. It's a delicious wine but you only had it every once in a while since it was a wine you can only buy in Scotland. Johnny has promised you that one day he will take you up to his home country one day. He swears you will love it. And you cannot wait for that day to come. Johnny has never broken a promise to you so you know it will happen soon. The vanilla candle you lit earlier was burning down low so you knew you were going to have to blow it out soon. Don’t want to burn the house down before Johnny gets back. Finding a good stopping point, you sat the leather gloves down to the side and walked up to the candle. You hesitated on blowing it out. You know you have to, but that lingering, lonely feeling came back to mind. The vanilla scent comforts you yet hurts you cause it makes you think of Johnny. You loved him so much that it hurts. But he said things would be different when he came home and you can only hope it’s the thing you’ve been secretly wanting to happen. But again, you never would say that outloud. Feeling content with yourself, you leaned, sucked a deep breath in, and-

*KNOCKKNOCK*

You quickly leaned back and stared at your front door. You weren’t expecting anyone and Johnny certainly didn’t tell you he would be coming home. Unless it’s…

No. 

No, don't think that way. Just see who it is right now. For all you know it could be the damn mail delivery driver. You gathered up your emotions and walked to the front door, swinging it open. 

“Hello, my love.” 

Johnny was standing there at your front door, holding a bouquet of flowers, with a gift bag hanging off of his arm. Your heart started racing and the tears fell down your face. You did not expect the love of your life to be standing there at your doorway. You were totally surprised. 

“Johnny, you absolute cunt.” You cursed at him as you wrapped your arms around him, squeezing him into a hug and your tears staining his chest. 

Johnny laughed at you cursing at him, even though that meant you were just really happy to see him. 

“My sweet, sweet Bonnie. You really did miss meh.” Johnny said, placing a kiss on the top of your head. 

Without hesitation, you placed a deep kiss on his lips. Johnny kissed back and even snuck a nibble on your bottom lip. 

“You jerk.” 

“Aye! You’re the one whose been teasin’ me to hell and back.” Johnny remarked, referring to the picture you sent of yourself to him. 

You giggled innocently, just happy he was here in the flesh. 

“Come in.” You led Johnny inside and shut the front door behind him. 

“What’s all this?” You referenced the stuff he was holding. 

“I can’t surprise me lady?” 

“Of course you can, you know me.” You say. 

Johnny handed you the bouquet of flowers, which was a mix of all of your favorite flowers. You turned around and walked to the kitchen to find a vase to put the flowers in. From the kitchen, the living room was blocked from view but you figured Johnny was just relaxing after coming home from his mission. 

“How was your leave?” You ask. 

“Aye, could’ve been better but Simon was actually in a decent mood the whole time.” Johnny spoke back to you. 

Johnny has told you enough about Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley to know that he prefers working alone and yet he and Johnny work so well together and seem to be getting closer with each mission they have together. While you know Johnny loves you and always loves spending time with you, you are happy to hear that Johnny is starting to get a close guy friend. 

“That’s good, that’s good.” You say as you put the flowers into the vase full of water you had. 

You then sat the vase of flowers in the kitchen window so it could get some sun, turned around and headed back into the living room to find Johnny down on his knees, holding something in his hand. 

“J-Johnny.” You stuttered out, completely shocked by the sight you were seeing unfold in front of you. 

“My sweet. You are the most beautiful, most kind, most carin’ lass I have ever been with in my life. I know that I want to spend the rest of me life with you. So now, I gotta ask,” Johnny started as he opened up the little box he had in his hand to reveal a beautiful ring, “will you marry me?” 

The pent up tears and emotions finally came out, but for a different reason. Johnny ‘Soap’ MacTavish was asking you to marry him. 

“Oh my god..” You croaked out, barely able to get your ‘Yes’ out. 

“Soo, is that a yes?” 

“Yes, of course you damn idiot.” You said as you jumped onto him, hugging him tightly. 

Johnny fell onto the ground on his back, while keeping hold of the ring, and holding you tightly. 

“I love you, Johnny.” 

“I love ya too, Bonnie.” Johnny said it back, “there’s another thing too.” 

“W-What?” You ask, pulling back. 

“We will finally be able to start the life that you want.” 

“You..You mean?” 

“I am a retired man, love.” 

You squealed in excitement as you hugged Johnny tightly once more, happy to hear what he told you. This was truly the start of your new life together. 

“I can’t wait to be a MacTavish.” 

“And I can’t wait till I make you mine forever.” Johnny said. 

“You already do that in bed.” You remark, making Johnny’s face flush red. 

“Away ‘n bile your head.” Johnny joked, planting a kiss on your lips. 

This was truly the fantasy fairytale love life that people have written about for many many years and it’s all thanks to Johnny MacTavish. 

END

[sigmarara]

Tw lil vent :3

Hahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahah I lost all of my bl@des and one of my friends that might see this said maybe someone has been actively taking them away from me and omfg I honestly do not care if they're being stolen or I'm just a dumb bitch but I need them so badly wtf I might buy some tmr bc as soon as Tuesday hits I'm safe to sh as much as I want without worrying abt school since gym is on Tuesday and I have holiday for two weeks. But genuinely I need to start keeping track of my bl@des bc I cannot keep losing them and then crying about it like a little bitch like what do you meannnnnnnnn I need to keep these shitty pathetic emotions in check lmao

Oh well I'll buy new ones tmr and maybe I'll show a picture of the new bl@des? And maybe some pics of my old cvts? Idk I'm not sure if I wanna post em yet but y'all lmk, lizard outtttt stay safe ^^

[genericpuff]

shitty phone pics BUT I got my keychains in from Vograce today! This was my first time ordering from them, it took me a while to take the plunge because I had heard mixed reviews on them, but I'm pleased to say that my first time buying from them went really well! This isn't really meant to be any sort of formal 'review' post or anything, just sharing my own experiences of how it went for other artists who might be interested in using their services or getting into making physical merch and need some tips :>

The acrylic is SUPER solid and the keychains themselves feel very well made and reliable, so there should be very little chance of these things breaking on anyone ! They came with protective film on both sides (which took me a hot second to figure out if there even was any because it was so secured to the acrylic LMAO) and each one came packaged in a soft baggie which were then packaged in a ziplock and then put in a secure box, so they were very well protected during the trip :> The nice thing is that the soft baggies are compostable, but they can easily be reused as packaging when they're sold so I'm gonna make sure to bring them with me when I take them to my shows!

I think my only gripe is that the colors are a little more desaturated than what I was expecting, but this also isn't the first time I've ordered custom acrylic so at this point I know it's more so a consequence of the material, so I'll probably saturate the colors a bit more next time I place an order. It should also be noted that if you're an artist yourself who's interested in Vograce's products, their turnaround time can be a little on the slower side, so don't order these expecting them to turn up in a week, plan ahead!! (though I've been told by other artists who actually make money that if you put 'urgent' in the care instructions, that can actually help speed up the process? I have yet to try this though and I'd rather not do that if I'm not actually in a rush LOL)

All in all this was a very successful test run, I'll be selling these guys at my first convention (I have about 15 of them so not too many that I'll wind up overstocked in case they don'8t sell well and not too much money lost , it cost me about $40 after shipping) and then after that I'll be placing another bigger order for more! They also sell washi tape so I'm DYING to design something for that aaahhh <3

[jerrsterrr]

hey guyssshahgahgahaaaaaaahhaaaa

obligatory silly posting about my ocs/sonas!!!!!!! and. me

and the amongus crewmates because i made a joke on insta that my followers were little guys and it was a silly "where do u wanna be on the drawing" w my mutuals over there :3

those characters are like my sort of sonas in my little oc world, the mind, body and heart!! i have this lil goober with headphones to more accurately represent me ^___^

(LMAO THIS WAS THE ONLY PIC I COULD FIND)

Theres like a big biiiigg storyline as these three being main characters thats going on here with several different characters that i wish to update more accurately on my Toyhouse and i have several posts on my instagram but i decided to use tumblr as to rant and ykno fanboy about my own ocs aswell!!!!!!!!! lol

okay long infodump that probably makes little sense my bad

The way it goes is themed after infinite realities, death,, living and basically heaven? Which i came up with after having like several years of haunting dreams LOL

For the longest time since i was little ive had dreams of being in some sort of messed up apocalypse so thats what the mind is from!! His name is Xiety and he looks like me when i had those dreams, or like some fucked up bird thing heheh

After all that though i started having dreams where i was,, different people sort of?? Dreams with different povs or dreams where i lived entire different lives. Thats Jerri! the body.

The last little guy is called matthew and isnt based off any dreams but more based off the feeling i get when i realize im dreaming. Ive never lucid dreamed but ive always had like a moment to realize "this isnt my life" and im just like viewing whats happeining o_0

All together i made a story for when they get sort of seperated, Xiety, the mind is seperated from the two in a apocalyptic world they have control over and hides the heart (matthew). The body being basically a carbon copy of itself just wanders around this world. Jerri cant remember how they got there or where they are from, but they die, over and over and over. Until eventually, they find the heart, in some rubble, and they sort of gain concious enough to realize "um im stuck in infinite zombie reality hell and this is NOT my reality" they take the plush and try to survive, but xiety kinda catches on and feels betrayed by this. He cant comprehend why on earth the body would want to live knowing what he knows (news flash only the mind knows what he knows of their og reality) HENCE the breaking out and being stuck in a infinite inbetween of constant realities woooo. Jerri and Matthew try to find to find the og reality, going through different bodies, meeting different minds and dying in ALOT of them. It becomes kinda clear that in most realities NONE of them do they live or are happy LMAO

that was like a shitty simplification BUT BESIDES ALLAT they litterally stumble into heaven and meet gods and Reapers and souls BUT they cant stay which SUCKS cuz imagine losing it it and one day people see you for yourself and you cant STAY cuz ur technically not dead just abstracted into peices and yaddah yaddah more ocs hehehe

(ALSO BASED ON A DREAM I HAD)

anyways heres a silly video i made with all of em:

ALSO ALSO OBLIGATORY TAG @moenmomentsthemoe-en

:333333

[glowingbadger]

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY HOT OCS

A few of you beautiful people gave me permission to talk about my OCs for a bit (not that I need it but it's nice to have), and for that, there shall be consequences. I wanna show y'all a few of my beauties, tell you about them, and brag about how hot they are and all the thoughts I have about their sex lives lmao (also featuring, btw, a major DnD npc who is.... VERY inspired by Seteth lmao though his story definitely ended up going its own way from that starting point)

**Also note because I know a couple IRL friends of mine follow this blog- if you play any tabletops with me, don't you fucking dare read this I will be SO mad because there will be spoilers I'm being so serious rn lol

((Also if you don't care that much about my OCs (fair lol I get that's not what most of y'all are here for) but just wanna see some of my art maybe, feel free to just scroll through and look at four hot anime people looooool))

First, we've got Rhys Ledger! (Cyberpunk Red ttrpg) Full art here

Rhys was born with severe chronic illness and a desperately poor family. Because of this, every issue and flair up got pushed off until it absolutely HAD to be addressed by a medical professional- and this lead to both of his arms and one eye eventually becoming infected to the point of requiring the cheapest and crappiest cybernetic replacements on the market- and even these still pushed his family into horrific debt. To get the debt collectors away from his mother, he staged a big interpersonal blow-up with her, ran away, faked his death, and started sending money to the debtors anonymously on her behalf, so that he could make the payments while separating himself from his mother so she wouldn't feel compelled to try to find and help him anymore.

So basically, he's cut off his entire family, in his mind for their own good. He's in crippling and seemingly insurmountable medical debt. Plus, his cybernetic eye and arms are cheap and shitty and keep breaking- his eye even plays ads at regular intervals, and you can imagine how maddening that is. All he had to rely on was the beginnings of a medical education received from Dr. Banting, a man who provided routine checkups at minimal cost to him as a child in addition to periodically tutoring him. So he leveraged that to test into a medical education program that would basically fast-track him into indentured servitude to a major corporate medical cybernetics company. And on the side, he takes odd jobs for extra cash- which is how he ran into the rest of our tabletop party.

He's a deeply, deeply empathetic and caring person deep down, who's just been beaten down by the trials of life and grown cynical and sarcastic as a result. Unlike most quality cybernetics, his hands completely lack a nervous suite, so he has no sense of touch there, and he secretly misses that sensation desperately. All of these factors contribute to him having been in a multi-year dry spell, sexually (he's had a tendency to pull away from romantic relationships before they got more than skin-deep), and at this point he'd likely faint if confronted with a naked boob. He's incredibly touch-sensitive, and while he probably doesn't even realize it, deep down he absolutely yearns to be touched gently and intimately by someone who actually values his falling-apart body. Rhys probably needs someone who's very vocally encouraging during sex, and who will communicate clearly what they want and what they like; with that sort of person, he'd be the ultimate service-whatever. Top, bottom, all that matters is that he's doing a good job and pleasing his partner, he's not capable of taking someone for granted once they've shown they truly appreciate and desire him.

~~~

Next we have Shaeleigh Sommers (unofficial Pokemon tabletop; also a cyberpunk setting) Full art here (also some spicier pics of her here and here)

Shaeleigh, or Shae, is from a Cyberpunk Pokemon tabletop that my husband has been running for three years now with friends, so she predates Rhys, but in retrospect she's like... a perfect foil for him lol

Shae was born to a fairly well-off family with a corporate, ladder-climbing father and a trophy-wife mother (she has respect for the former and very little regard for the latter). Her older brother is following their father's footsteps, while Shae pursued... basically Pokemon veterinary studies lol. After college, she worked for a Pokemon shelter for unwanted and retired Pokemon, but it was shut down for taking on more cases than they were supposed to (not wanting to turn away any Pokemon in need), and as a result, Shae's dream is to gain the money, experience, clout and sponsors to open her own private shelter. She has an enormous soft-spot for lesser-loved Pokemon, and has no interest in the "popular picks" who will have no trouble finding a trainer to take care of them. She's somewhat naive, though she's learned a lot on her adventures, and she has a good heart despite being a bit spoiled.

Shaeleigh is also desperately in love/lust with the professor overseeing her and her allies on their journey, Professor Shoot. He's a young Professor, still technically the equivalent of an "adjunct," and Shae and her buddies are his first group of assigned trainers. Shae was immediately attracted to him physically, and overtime this has slowly developed into a deep, deep crush and potentially even love. He's gentle and kind in a way that's extremely rare in the dystopian cyberpunk future, and while he insists that, as a professor he's less a man and more a cog in a machine, Shae sees a warm and beautiful humanity in him that she clings to, as it represents her desire not to lose herself or her values despite how hard her battles may become. Also he plays piano, so like, those hands... hnnng.

Anyway, I've always viewed Shae as someone who has had a lot of flings and passing relationships, but nothing very serious. Lately, she's been hooking up with a gang leader (really closer to a warlord) from the wild, untamed underground of the city, but while she does respect him and admire his free way of life, she's truly only seeking him out as solace while she can't have her beloved Professor. With a few more badges under her belt though, she'll be considered to have a level of authority within the Pokemon League that may finally allow her to openly pursue Professor Shoot... fingers crossed for my girl lmao. In the meantime, she insists that she wants him to make the first decisive move, and they live in a surveillance state, so her desired Professor-romance has been an AGONIZING slow-burn thus far. Sexually, I think she's a bit vanilla, but very warm and encouraging, even if she doesn't care that much about the guy she's with. With someone she does care about, she's relentlessly devoted to their mutual pleasure, with incredible stamina and focus, all towards the goal of expressing even a fraction of what she feels in her heart.

~~~

Okay guys, I hope you're ready because I have SO much to say about Saul (NPC, DnD 5e) Full art here

Guys. The way my brain has been soaking in the essence of this character for like two years. And I have no outlet for this because there's SO much about him that my players in this campaign don't know about him yet. (btw this is a follow up warning to my players in my dnd campaign that I will be so, so mad if you keep reading after this point lmao)

OKAY so. On the surface, Saul is a stern but reasonable man who acts as head steward of the Temple of the Allfaith, a place where every deity in the pantheon is given due worship and respect. The philosophy behind this is that reality is formed through the interactions of countless contradictory forces, and by giving regard to all deities of all domains, we assure that each is mollified. This also makes it a place welcoming to all kinds of people from all walks of life- for the most part. Saul is, as one can imagine in such a chaotic environment, kept enormously busy at all times with paperwork, supply forms, requests, ceremonies, festivals, and all of the various needs and conflicts that arise among the clerics, priests, and so on.

Now, in truth, Saul is a Cambion- the offspring of an Incubus and his victim, who was eventually consumed by the demon who sired her child. While the Incubus moved on to terrorize some other locale, Saul was left in the small hamlet where he was born, and it was only out of regard for his late mother that the people here bothered to care enough for him to keep him alive. With time, though, their natural fear and resentment for the literal hellspawn they'd been saddled with caused constant and open mistreatment, and he was only offered the food, water and shelter he needed to survive, and absolutely no more. All the while, even as a child he potently felt the hatred evident in their eyes when he dared show himself in public.

Now, Cambions are functionally immortal, but they do age at a more or less "normal" rate until they reach maturity. When Saul reached his early teens, another young girl from the village asked to meet with him in a secluded grove beyond the town limits. When he arrived, he was cautious and on-edge, believing this to be some plot or ambush for the townspeople to finally do him in, so when the girl came to see him and made a sudden move towards him, he lashed out. His inherent fire magic abilities sparked out at her, and he killed her in an instant without ever consciously understanding his own actions. What he'll only find out through magical means later in the campaign, is that this young girl actually had grown affectionate towards him, and had hoped to confess her feelings to him that day.

After this, he fled the village and subsisted in the wild for some time, until he was of-age. During this period, he learned to harness his innate magic to disguise himself as a half-elf, but he also learned to hate and resent the people of this world. He grew to believe that they were all as cruel and corrupt as he himself was, and to prove it, he spent the following few years essentially fighting and fucking his way from town to town. Rumors of a demon of vengeance were whispered among the towns dotting the countryside, and in Saul's eyes, any who showed the slightest moral weakness was subject to his personal brand of judgement. A shady business might be burned to the ground overnight, the corrupt mayor (and potentially his wife) might suddenly become swept into a quite public and humiliating affair, the cleric skimming donation money from the congregation might be hung from a nearby tree. His reputation in the region became so fearful that a band of Paladins was sent to exorcise this demon and free the people from him.

It was then, bloodied and beaten near to death, that Saul dragged himself to the doors of the Temple of the Allfaith, where an older man named Erasmus took him in without question. Erasmus was the founder and master of the temple, and he nursed Saul back to health with his own hands, no questions asked. He took Saul in for the following years, and while he was a difficult and petulant guest at first, eventually Erasmus' open and earnest care broke through to what semblance of a soul he still possessed. The unconditional love of a father-figure gave Saul not a second chance, but the first chance he'd ever had, and over time it transformed him completely. While he remained as serious and stubborn as ever, Erasmus never gave up on Saul, and with his nurturing mentorship, he became a deeply empathetic man, and learned to open his heart and view others as worthy of kindness and compassion.

At the time of the campaign, Master Erasmus has long passed, and Saul has been the Steward to the Allfaith Temple for decades. He's known to be highly competent, deadly serious, and relentlessly stubborn, but ultimately kind. His life now is one that he lives in a constant state of repentance. He hopes that, by serving a temple to all of the gods, some day one of them may open their arms to him despite his hellish nature, and offer him the salvation he so desperately craves. The tragedy of it all is that, in all likelihood, several of the gods would now welcome him as-is in light of his life of dedicated service to others at the temple, but Saul himself has yet to view himself as redeemable.

Now, for the juicy stuff- believe me when I say that few men have ever needed to get laid like Saul does. While he was of course quite rakish as a younger man, once he took on the mantle of responsibility at the temple, the idea of engaging in intimacy with one of the priests or clerics here became unthinkable. There would be rumors, accusations of favoritism, and worst of all, the potential that his true nature might be revealed. So he has kept himself very strictly at arms-length with others for several decades now, and this combined with his normally uptight demeanor has made him the top candidate for "ready to go absolutely goddamn feral if he ever gets the chance to really fuck again." Plus, I mean, his birth father was an Incubus, so.... there are a lot of assumptions that can be made about Saul's equipment and technique, even while in his half-elven form. He's the type of man who would relish just about any form of kink with the right person; his sexuality is a dam with a hairline fracture in it ready to burst open. In particular, he would find the use of power-dynamics to be downright therapeutic. Tying him up and forcing him to surrender his control and his body, then teasing and tormenting him until his over-worked mind is finally blank? Sublime. Offering yourself to him so he can fuck you like the demon he truly is, using all of his strength and power to reduce you to his whimpering toy? Also incredible. A more structured sort of power-play session with ropes and edging and punishment and vaguely religiously toned lectures? Divine. And, as we'll see, he's just primed for a good ol' fashion enemies-to-lovers arc just LOADED with sexual tension.

(I need y'all to realize that for how over-long that was, I skipped over a TON of info and worldbuilding and additional details, seriously, I have such brainrot about Saul you could ask me what he was doing during any single second of his life and I'd have an answer for you lmao)

~~~

Lastly, let's talk about Anya Lisianthus (NPC, DnD 5e) Full art here

Anya, at the time of the campaign, is the High Priestess of Beshaba (goddess of misfortune and bad luck), and, like most who worship such deities, she does so to pacify her goddess and free herself from the shackles of excessive misfortune. Before coming to the Temple of the Allfaith, she had been from a noble family, but one falling in its standing. She'd had many siblings, but nearly all succumbed to illness, leaving Anya to shoulder heavy responsibilities for her family that she'd had no interest in and no preparation for. Due to complicated political shifts (that we don't have time to go into here or Anya's section will be even longer than Saul's lol), her family started getting involved with some political dissidents. Anya took to their philosophies, and soon joined in with rebel groups who sought to overthrow the local religious leader who had begun exerting immense governmental control beyond their normal purview. However, a tiny instance of misfortune lead to her downfall; a coin dropped from a guard's pocket, and when he abandoned his patrol route for a moment to follow it as it rolled, he caught sight of Anya and her rebel allies. After this incident, her family labeled her a traitor and an upstart to save the remains of their own reputation, and she fled the city as a wanted criminal.

At the Allfaith Temple, she found acceptance, peace, and the promise of a goddess who could protect her from capricious misfortune. But, as Beshaba is an "evil aligned" deity, Anya is kept to the underground portion of the Temple for the most part- both by her own preference, and by the looks of suspicion and discomfort that her presence draws when around those who worship gods of light and goodness up on the surface. That said, she still carries the undeniably noble bearing of her upbringing, and is fond of hosting others for tea, provided they are able to supply interesting conversation.

She feels some resentment towards Saul, not only for being boorish and stubborn, but also for his holier-than-thou bearing, which she finds intolerable. However, as she falls in with a group of other underground clerics and priests with dubious plans of their own, she agrees to attempt to learn more about Saul for their purposes. So, she's been spending time trying to get through to him. For now, this has mostly taken the form of arguing bitterly in his office just about any time our group of adventurers pass by there, but with time, the two are going to start noticing other facets of one another. Saul views Anya as a strikingly brilliant woman, beautiful of course, but more importantly someone incredibly engaging to talk to, well-read, well-informed, and who thinks through all angles of a subject. Meanwhile, Anya will come to see that Saul's dedication to serving the people of the temple is no mere mask of piety, but a true and wholehearted desire to do good and protect those who rely on him, and that sort of genuine earnestness is hard to come by. So, y'know. We're definitely headed towards a "oh no I accidentally fell for and slept with the man I was meant to be investigating and/or manipulating oh fuck oh no I guess I'm betraying the bad guys now" kind of situation lol.

Sexually, Anya is confident, capable, but choosy. Her natural charisma may give the impression of a flirt, but in truth, not just anyone is deemed worthy to share her bed. She was nobility once, after all- there was a time when men took a knee for the privilege of an audience with her. That said, once she's decided someone meets her standards, she relishes in learning their turn-ons and desires and exploiting them mercilessly. She's every bit as sexually open and flexible as Saul, but in a far more proactive way; the lusts of her partner are intel, precious secrets to be learned and utilized to the fullest. There's nothing she finds more satisfying than seeing a lover look at her with worship in their eyes as she fulfills them absolutely. Saul, with all of his pent-up libido and sexual baggage, is going to make for an absolutely delightful partner for her. She'll never tire of learning the thousands of ways she can make his stoic facade crumble.

Anyway if you actually read all of this, please know that I hope only good things ever happen to you for the rest of your life, that someone you like kisses you on the mouth sloppy-style, and that you find twenty dollars &lt;3

[dandyshucks]

okay okay here we go - very messy off-the-cuff oc intro under the cut with some design sketches + doodles (IT'S KIND OF LONG):

random other doodle (another system member's self portrait i think? idk djfkdl) for the last pic there sorry fhdksl it was just a handy photo i had on hand that had almost the same dimensions for tumblrs cropping shenanigans (also that one emoji is there in the first pic bc i couldn't get that eye to cooperate fjkdkl)

anyhowdy uhhmm heres Theodor and Philby... Theodor uses he/she and Philby uses they/it and I'm literally just now realizing that they cover the main four bases wtf ... that was not intentional but it is funky and fun !! Theodor has a few nicknames like Teddy, Dory, Theo, etc, while Philby is is just Philby (their full name is Philbert but only their parents call them that LOL)

Theodor has a port wine stain birthmark on his left cheek ! and Philby potentially has rosacea but I'm still looking into that to make sure I'm not pulling any shitty moves if I'm going to have that be a part of their character. they (Philby) use mobility aids occasionally, generally just a cane, sometimes crutches, but they also have a wheelchair on hand for more difficult days.

Teddy is an interesting mix of very patient and loving while also sometimes cocky and impulsive, so he sometimes say things that are unintentionally hurtful or offensive (but is learning to apologize swiftly to help mend his mistakes). to people who don't know him well, he might come across as arrogant occasionally. he enjoys designing clothing items that Philby will often sew up for him, as well as experimenting with different coloured art mediums (pastels, paint, chalk, etc) and makeup (he is absolutely a skincare girlie fjfkdl). he comes from a family that's well-off (definitely upper class but not necessarily wealthy) so he's used to having money to throw around and doesn't quite fully grasp what it's like to be poor or working (or even middle) class, so there's some butting of heads there.

Philby comes from a working class family, not poor but definitely lower class lol. they have a fair amount of pride and can be kind of prickly, but they're extremely thoughtful and can be very kind and patient when they want to be. they're very practical and well-organized, and is integral to keeping things running smoothly in the household. they're very skilled with sewing and they also happen to be a good cartoonist! it takes a bit for them to warm up to new people, but they're usually just neutral and maybe a bit blunt with people they don't know well. if they dislike a person, they tend to have an attitude of "i don't want to waste any of my time on this person" and avoids the person rather than taking the time and energy to decide if they want to be pointedly rude or remain polite.

both of them are really good with kids in their own way! Philby likes being fun and clownish while Teddy prefers to be more of a comforting ... well... teddy bear sort of presence LOL. both of them are super patient w kids though, and they love to spend time helping out with kids when someone needs a babysitter! (why yes this is almost entirely just an excuse for me to think abt how they'd be so good with the kiddos in our system LMAO) if they ever ran a daycare or preschool together they'd be absolutely phenomenal at it, especially since they make up for what the other lacks in their approaches to interacting with children.

Theo prefers kitschy grandma-type aesthetics in both clothing and decor, while Philby enjoys a lot of bright colours and fun patterns that would fit more into "c.lowncore" and "k.idcore" aesthetics (with some occasional punk influences). Theo enjoys a lot of clothing that is maybe considered more feminine, while Philby just wears whatever is comfortable and brightly coloured, occasionally with some blacks to make the colours pop more!

they have a really interesting contrasting dynamic, Theo being a "gentle giant" while also being somewhat impulsive and more prone to hurting people accidentally with his words, and Philby being smaller in stature and more prickly but also much more thoughtful and careful with their words and actions.

also bonus funny thing: Theodor had a trad g.oth phase as a teen in highschool that lasted a couple years hehe

[starjxsung]

hai hai darling star? how are you?

i’m still terrified of lolla, no reddit forums will alleviate my fear

i just updated myself with your asks and i’m really sorry to hear that you’re having some health problems :( i agree with the anon that said that you should get some bloodwork done just in case. i’m proud of you making changes to your workout/lifestyle to work on your health too! changing routines that you’re comfortable with takes a lot of strength (i am typing without my glasses and i accidentally pressed a instead of e and it autocorrected me to “strangulation”💀). so i’m so glad that you’re doing it <3 and if you need to go back to therapy it’s so valid and you should so do it. it really does help a lot when you go back. (also, if you’re prone to skipping meals i recommend keeping some green juice blend/smoothie packs or something like that bc if you drink enough it can replace a meal nutrient-wise).

i heard about j!mmy fal!on and that’s so ick too. honestly wtf jyp. i hate all of these collabs with such nasty people. and i really hate seeing posts promoting the song.

also, how’s momo? i saw a pic and she looked so cute😭 what is she doing? what’s her skincare routine? i love her <3

i love your pcs so much!!! and ofc the pochacco holder! did you know that sanrio holds like a yearly contest where you can vote for your fave character and cinnamoroll has won for like the past 4 years? pochacco got second this year (i just saw a tiktok of this😂)

anyways this is us: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6Y2SLYNT5m/?igsh=ZmwybnYxZW83eGtv

i, too, need an iced coffee for ✨mental health✨

i love you darling<3 i hope everything is well aside from the busy work schedule

-🐈‍⬛

Hi my angel!!!!!!

The chronic Reddit scrolling before lolla persists. I am also a victim 🤕

I will absolutely get some bloodwork done and try to sort out what the issue is :/ I think a huge part of it is also just my shitty sleeping schedule I am SOOOO chronically tired and I can never seem to go to bed before like 3am (it’s 4am as we speak !) and it’s throwing all the rest of my routine off so much 😭 it’s like the only part of my routine I just can’t seem to stick to and it’s driving me crazyyyy 😭 I’m definitely considering going back to therapy or at least finding some form of routine that works a little better for me in the meanwhile. Also thank you for the smoothie advice ahhh I hadn’t thought of that !! Definitely adding to my grocery list 🫶

The skz promotions for this song are getting on my every last nerve oh my godddd I’ve seen so many people just flat out taking a break from skz content or from posting on here altogether and honestly I fully get it because I’ve never seen the fandom so divided before and the way they keep posting like nothing is wrong is crazy 🤕 the urge to block all of them is so real lately LMAO

ALSO MOMO IS SO GOOD the weather is getting hotter here so she hasn’t been sleeping with any of us bc she HATES physical contact when it’s hot. But she’s still her crazy self and she brought me her goat plushie this morning so she still loves me (I think)

STOPPPP I never knew that about Sanrio??? That’s so cute 😭😭 I don’t even know who I would vote for tbh I love them all so much but I totally understand cinnamonroll winning bc cinnamonroll is truly just THAT character…. ✨ justice for pochacco too though ☹️ and where is my girl kuromi!!!!

ALSO THAT REEL HELEPDPDODKDJ LITERALLY US…… I love you my angel I hope you have the best weekend ever !!! 💗🩷💕💘💓 here’s Momo in 0.5x in case ur weekend was shitty. I love my rabbit

[freckledjoes]

what do you think about stancy btw? is it just me or stancy feels forced? i mean jancy is stressed and stancy is toxic…and what you would do if your ex was slut shaming you and then after years telling you he wants a big family with you? i mean come on…and steve was a shitty bf back (even tho he had the best glow up and ch. development ever. i love him now. he wasn’t a bad guy for me…i feel like he didn’t ever even bully anyone. yeah he broke jonathan’s camera but that was after he found out he was photographing his girlfriend almost naked..i mean…how would u reacted?) what would change if he and nancy got back together? and duffers are saying s5 it’s gonna be like if s1 and 3 had a baby…why would they want to repeat some things that happened in s1 (i really hate stancy pls) give steve a chance to have a gf who actually loves him and respects him and doesn’t take him for granted…or just let him be a single mom of his 6 kids…i feel like nancy needs to be independent… rely more just on her own and her career and not mess around with MY steve lmao 🤣💗

Oh you really put me on the spot here huh, comfortably hiding behind anon while I have to say it out loud (I'm teasing, it's all good)! Let me start by saying: IT'S AN OPINION!!! If you do ship her with either guy, enjoy your ship! I just don't ship it myself.

Alright, so... if I was Nancy, I'd be single. Not saying either boy is bad but I don't see either boy being good for her. Both made mistakes, that's for sure. Not saying they can't come back from it (Steve has had a brilliant arc and I'm sure Jonathan has learned not to take pics of people w/o their consent) but I'd personally much rather see Nancy thrive on her own rather than be reduced to a girl who needs a boyfriend at the end of the show.

I don't think she aligns with either of them. She's ambitious, she doesn't sound like she wants to have kids any time soon, if ever, so that basically cancels out Steve imo. At least, I don't think it's good for either of them to be with each other if they look so differently at the future. As for Jonathan, I just don't feel much for their relationship from what we've seen currently. Just don't really see it.

Steve needs someone who makes him feel and treats him like an equal. He deserves to be loved as much as he loves, and that man has a lot of love to give. I wish my favorite bi (headcanon) guy the best partner <3

[merwynpersonalhub]

Question. What do you mean by "I dealt with some shit online." I have been a little bit curious when i saw that in your pinned post. You do not need to tell if you do not want to.

Its fine dont worry lmao im just gonna warn you its a long ass ramble on what happened. there will be a tldr thing in the bottom since this is gonna be a biggg ass ramble. Tw for accusations on pedo/grooming + manipulation + mentions of the world war 2 causing guy

a lil insight on what happened before this shit happened. (this was on another website) there was a person (we gonna call them oliver tree fan) who was caught drawing nsfw of the ww2 causing guy on a alt acc with someone else. the person who caught them was actually a ex of mine (we gonna call them "M") M vented to me about it since the other person who was on the alt acc used to be a friend of M. I never liked oliver tree fan. they harrassed many of my friends and was just a shitty person in general. i called the oliver tree fan out since the website was pretty small and everything was silent for a lil bit. Then oliver tree fan started harassing M. ANDDDD OOOOO BOY that made me pissed. But i knew Oliver tree fan was trying to start shit so i ignored them and tried to help M. Then oliver tree fan decided to go to my acc later on and said "im gonna block ya now" i was very pissed since it didnt make sense to me and i vague posted about them THIS MADE OLIVER TREE FAN VERRYYYY ANGRY. so what did they do? they made a callout post randomly on me. Basically the callout post was about me being a groomer/predator and how weird it was for me to like characters from shows and how i was manipulative to my friends and i was dating a close friends partner and that i was faking my age bc i didnt look 16 (she had a face pic of mine </3 also yeah this was like. near 2 years ago) I did had faults. i did do stupid shit. im not gonna deny that. i dated a 10 year old when i was 14 i wasnt sexual but it was still fucking wrong. i have cut contact with them a long while ago but around a year ago i did apologize to them. that was a shitty thing to do. i did treated some of my friends very shitty. and i take full fucking blame for that. i apologized to them and we made up. but since. it was a small website. many people believed i was this shitty person and i deserved to go to jail and shit. i panicked to my friends and basically had a big old panic attack that night. oliver tree fan then decided "hey! ill delete the callout if you friend me on discord and talk to me" and i did just that. oliver tree fan basically made me BEG. to have the callout taken down. telling me i was in the wrong i didnt deserve shit. then asked me to delete callouts/screenshots. i did that and then they decided "hey now we friends :D". we also made a deal not to talk shit about eachother AND. not to M. (since around this time M lost someone VERY important in his life in a awful fucking way.) i felt so uncomfy and terrified but i couldnt talk back to them or else i was scared i would get "called out" again. i was added into groupchats that was dissing on my friends and alot of other shit. they kept talking shit to me. to my partner at the time and alot of others. they were very 2 faced and fucking awful to me and many others. i didnt get the worst of it and it was just.. vfnjcnjdcs god fucking awful. many people figured out Oliver tree fan was a shitty mother fucker. and if you see this oliver tree fan (bc i know you stalk me </3) fuck off. legit your a fucking awful person. made me fucking scared for my fucking life for at least 4 months. you made me feel like utter garbage. i really hope you get what you deserve. tldr: Oliver tree fan was a shitty person to me and M (partner at the time now they are a ex of mine) decided to call me out and call me a pedo/groomer manipulator and other shit when i called them out. many people believed Oliver tree fan. they manipulated me into deleting evidence. we made a deal not to talk shit about eachother. ofc they talked shit and treated M and others like shit. then people figured out Oliver tree fan was a shitty person.

hope this made sense

[pondslime]

Fic authors self-rec! ✨ When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers

aaaaaa!! I only have seven published works so this list is kinda hot dog water djsfhjfdsjfds I have three or four unfinished wip's that would definitely make this list if I could FINISH them lmao god bless

ANYWAY, descending in order of personal preference!!

squall: I think this might be? the most solid work I've put up so far. it just checks all my boxes for nasty w/him jdfshjdfsjhdfs

soggy? ✅ annoying? ✅ mean? ✅ pathetic baby idiot? ✅

I love writing this man w/chronic nightmares jdshjdsfhdfs it's me metaphorically poking him w/a stick and giggling from inside my cage

something borrowed: the most boseph bozo bingbong of my bo fics. to me, at least.

I also love love LOVE bridal imagery coupled with weird icky nasty shit dshjdfhjdf all it takes is a pic of some bitch in a vintage wedding dress in a dingy location and I'm like THIS IS IT!!!!!!! THIS IS IT!!! lmao. so getting to play around w/borrowing mama sinclair's wedding dress and dick around miserably in a diner was FUN

miss ambrose: my one!! ONE (1) non-bo fic!! w/lester!! my rat man!! my beloved!!

shit was CATHARTIC after all the bo hell swill. it sits in the middle of all the bo muck on my ao3 like an oasis in the desert dhjfdshjdfs u can stop here and trade out ur pain!misery!nasty for a lil goofy!disgusting!nasty

I had so much fun writing this fic lmao

sanguine: genuinely freak weirdo nonsense!! would u like to see the fic that made me go criminally insane!! here it is!!

cannot beleaf I wrote this shit for house of wax (2005), 5.4/10 rating on imdb.

poacher's dream: get degraded w/a beer bottle! for the low discounted price of one nasty blowjob and some shitty tv ambience!

this is the fic that got me into the fandom and I still enjoy the vibes. I feel like it set the tone for what kinda weird shit u could expect from my dumbass jfdshjhfdjhfds