#take notes reality

[stil-lindigo]

reverb in an empty hall.

prints (all proceeds go towards aid for Gaza)

[lotus-pear]

i think you guys are onto smth..

i unironically got invested in this HELP

[threalcrabbysamantha]

sometimes it feels like i’m existing on a different plane than some of the atla fandom, like when people complain they can’t find zutara fics that also contains a positive depiction of the friendship between Aang, Katara, and Zuko

baby, I read them all the time - are we using two different AO3s??

[daily-airimomoi-vitamins]

[Oh my god]

[oh my. god.]

[Those photos]

[The photos on the ground. Who knows how long ago. The first time you came to the back]

[The names you didn't know you did]

[Those faces, filling you with painful nostalgia]

[Those people]

"Min...ori.."

[You choked on your own tears. Tears? nono why were you crying?? no no stop that]

"oh..ohh my god.."

[Those eyes]

[The pharmacist's eyes]

...

[your tears stopped]

You..remember, don't you?

[you were shaking]

[you coward]

[in an attempt to spare yourself, you've hurt the people who needed you the most]

[you selfish coward]

"y-you...h..her.."

I must say, I'm quite envious of you. Being able to remember your origins...where you came from..

[the pharmacist trailed her fingers along the bar table]

..why you're here.

...It was never meant to be like this. You were never meant to remember but you were and so was I and I don't know what I'm remembering but it hurts and..gaah...

..damnit this hurts.

[She covered her face with her hands, running her fingers and pulling through her hair]

[Her hands were shaking]

[...but you're a coward.]

[you can't do anything]

[....you're feet slowly stepped backwards towards the door, your breathing heavy.]

[you hadn't taken into account just how big things were. Because of you, you selfish prick.]

[Minori was dead. More More Jump could've stayed together, no..]

[you could be surrounded with the people you love]

[stop please I don't want to think about this right now stop stop stop]

[you left them]

[you wouldn't know love if it were standing right in front of you.]

[just...just out of reach. On the edge of death you let your love dance and still she it is gone.]

"You...k..kept me..here..? To...'help'..me? Y..you.."

[...you didn't have the guts to face her. Not anymore. The real you is gone. She's dead...gone. You killed her...]

[...You killed her when you met Atoji Higan. When you told her your name and she gave you a new one.]

[..When you considered the unthinkable and let her take your place.]

...Coward.

[huh?]

If you're gonna leave, do it. Run, like you always do. Don't be so caught up in this, so cowardly that you can't run, even if you wanted to.

[She approached you, eyes dim, narrowed]

You. You would rather stay here and die, wouldn't you? That's what got you into all of this in the first place. You wanted to stop your feelings, shy away from your responsibilities as an idol, as a friend.

[Her voice started to break, her finger pointing towards you]

You left them. You ruined everything. You couldn't even be a coward properly! You chose this life and you couldn't even keep it.

I-Its your fault, Peachy- No no fuck!

[The pharmacist grabbed at her hair, gritting her teeth, her arms practically shaking]

s-stop it shh..shut up..shhut up..fuckk gah-!!

..Y-...You ruined everything.

nono you didn't peachy, I'm sorry, please don't go

if you had just stayed.

please don't leave me

if you hadn't had been so.. selfish..!

I did this all for you, was this not enough?

then maybe you'd still have a chance to live! But nooo, you had to throw it away...how ungrateful are you!?

...you...you've done it..you've gotten what you wanted..

Are you happy now? Hm?

"I-I'm n-"

This took more out of everyone else then what it did for you.

In an attempt to rid yourself of a burden, you provided everyone around you with tenfold.

..

[Clap. Clap. Clap]

Congratulations.

[Clap. Clap. Clap.]

[The door was right there, why didn't you run?]

[...because you were scared.]

[what would you even do then..? After all this damage you've caused, wouldn't it be inappropriate for you to go back? It'd be better for you stay and hide here. For everyone, right?]

[What...what were you even planning to do, when you figured this all out? Who on earth were you planning to tell?]

[...you want to move on.]

....

[you need to move on]

[The door was right there.]

[Now that you've decided to be a coward, you only have two options left for yourself. You feel like you weren't even choosing for yourself. A puppet controlled by the hands you made for yourself...maybe it was you, the entire time...]

[The death of your personification of grief, should she be considered as once a living thing as well?]

[...her.]

[and yourself.]

[...so you did know how to fight, huh? Just in all the wrong ways.]

[oinonsana]

tabletop role-playing games, as a medium i think, are predisposed to crafting reals, on top of it being largely an exercise of language.

i'm using "real" right now as a basic "something that is completely true thing." in a sense, role playing game design is reality-crafting.

this means that every mechanic and every word used in the game, down to the language, is a way of crafting a real wherein the players must accept that is real (within that space). the reality is the bounds of the fiction and also the major expressive influence into the player's minds. however in a very weird positivist way, what mechanics exist in a game reify what the game says is real, and what doesn't exist doesn't exactly mean something isn't real. so instead of a real/unreal dichotomy we have a real/real (in fiction)/implication(pseudo real)/unreal

so for example: a game might have Stats, Classes, and mechanics for making attack rolls. all of these are Real, and they inform the fiction (a high STR might mean your character is strong, being of a FIGHTER means you're good at fighting and you can pull off maneuvers, making attack rolls is you committing physical violence on another). So they're both real and real in fiction. the localized reality around player characters now exist and they interact with the game through these reals.

now these things might be non-diegetic (frex, a FIGHTER (CLASS) might not actually exist within the game setting, they're archetypical representations, which is something D&D 4e and D&D 5e do), but that doesn't matter: those things are now real due to game design. this means there ARE fighters in your game, even if there is only one kind of fighter that the PC is, there are still fighters.

going further, these Reals also imply something about the established game world. these are not yet the pseudo-reals: so for example, a game that has CAP Skills (skills that cap any other skills you might use while doing something within their field, such as Horseback Riding [a Riding Skill 3 might mean you can only add +3 to when you're doing Melee Combat despite your Melee Combat being at +7, etc.]) this presupposes then that someone who isn't good at Riding cannot be as effective with their martial skill despite having been skilled at martial skill for years.

is this realistic to real life? it doesn't matter: with that established within the game mechanics, that is now what's Real there. and in role-playing you must follow along the Reality crafted there. this has a number of pseudo-reals (implications) such as (cavalry are all good at horseriding, etc.) but the importance of pseudo-reals is that these are things the table (the player aspect) can interface with as they wish. those things which the player has no choice but to interface with are the highest of reals in a roleplaying game

your choice of language informs this even further. not just the fact that you choose to write it in english (tagalog, spanish, etc. expresses things and imposes different priorities when it comes to real) but the wording choice you choose. frex: having INTELLIGENCE as a Stat can be somewhat ableist. what does high INTELLIGENCE mean? aren't there different kinds of smarts, is knowledge the same? or is this an abstraction? but is it a meaningful abstraction or an abstraction brought about by historical momentum (it's what D&D used). why is INTELLIGENCE a meaningful abstraction but STRENGTH and CONSTITUTION are split? these are all arbitrary until it isn't, and you must establish a real to live in the imagined space (that is, the fiction). i'm not saying the 6 stat array is a bad thing mind you but i think it's useful to understand why you have it in there in the game. if it's just because it's the most well known stat array then that's fine i guess

finally, what reals you put into the game is inherently informed by your own worldview. it actually doesn't have to be (that's the point of creation) but commonly game designers simply inject their worldview into the games as real and recreate that real into their tabletop rpg (frex, misogynists who think its realistic for men to be stronger than women, capping women's STR stats etc.) so choosing what is real and what isn't is a matter of paradigm shifting and realizing that not all realities irl are the same (not to go into metaphysics and sociopolitical philosophy)

[bettertwin1]

this is an odd question but me and my sis r trying to make a mini film. So like u got any mystery plots hiding under ur stripes or somthin??

Group of friends who think everything is normal but one of the friends is an eldritch being and the friendgroup has been their play things from the very beginning and the eldritch horror has no plans in letting them go.

Their reality is fake and their dynamic is not real, it was all planned from the very beginning and why the being picked them is unknown but they don't want to play anymore...

[fallstreakfeathers]

Human as you are

When you tell him you want to demat his hair, you're met with a scoff

"It'd have to be cut. All of it. Make me uglier than I already am" he snarls

You disagree, and sweetly push, reassure, promise

He rolls his eyes, fights, tries to intimidate

Mumbles a sarcastic "only if you're naked, too"

He hopes it shuts you up. Embarrasses. Deflects your horrible insistence

To his shock, terror, you agree.

You sit behind him, nude in water a little too warm for your liking, muscles undoubtedly to cramp in the small space of a tub not meant for two people, but that's okay

It's claustrophobic, suffocating

But that's okay, too, because he's letting you close to him

Letting himself be vulnerable

An honor even his sister rarely sees, you're aware, even if he's mostly hidden himself from you by the ridiculous amount of soap bubbles that surround your bodies like snowfall

Even if he refuses to let his weary eyes meet yours

Gentle hands soak his gnarled, broken strands with conditioner and detanglers

He flinches under your touch

Your touch, which has never hurt him, would never, could never

But the world has, the world will, the world takes wicked joy in it, and that is enough to justify the tenseness of his shoulders and the bobbing of his throat as he swallows, forcing himself to still

To trust his judgement

To trust you

You pretend not to notice, preserve his pride, devour your own

He swears it burns where your flesh touches his, wonders if you think him as diseased as everyone else does, wonders if you even care

Wonders if Daki allowed you this time away from scrubbing floors to spoil her dear brother

Wonders how you stand the stench, human as you are, of the blood and gore and the decomposing filth that may as well take up as much of his head as his dark locks do

A bladed comb cuts through the worst of it, straightening the rest as much as his hair allows

He watches your reflection in the water, watches your tongue poke through your lips as you concentrate on a particularly stubborn mat, watches you smile as you massage the falling suds into the spots on his shoulders- not to erase but to soothe

You would never hurt him

You work long, and pull so many unsavable chunks from his head he fears you really might cut him bald

You work hard, and resist the urge to playfully squish the inky dots below the corners of his mouth

There's no pain in your work, not enough for an Oni of his strength to notice, but you apologize every time the brush catches his knots anyway 

It's cute

You're cute, he thinks

Eventually, slowly, he allows himself to lean into you

Relaxes in the warmth surrounding him

He tells himself it's only so you don't have to stretch so far to reach him

Wouldn't want you to hurt your weak human arms

Ignores the inner voice that snickers with the knowledge that if he weren't so ugly, prideful, scared, he may have even allowed himself to smile

And when you leave, finally, to let him to wash his lower half without the threat of you, and he's left to sit in cooling water, eyes wide in the confusion that someone dares to care for him in such a way, like he's not disgusting, like he's not a monster, like he's a person, he pretends the tears threatening to fall is just the water left from his hair.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Hi I really love your art👋🧡💙💜

is it alright if we could see more bardaby art with the illusion smoke I really liked the last bit of art you did of that!

also has he ever used it on anyone before? Or not?

Thank You! im glad to hear it <3

if i ever draw more i'll post it, dw! & well yeah, he'd use it on opponents lol but he wouldn't use it on his friends unless there's like... a special circumstance that necessitates it

[starheirxero]

Seeing Bloodmoon go back to Ruin was so infuriating to watch. Like I understand they have codependency put in them, but they remember what he did to them, right? Boys, you need to surround yourself with better people for Pete’s sake 😭.

I KNOWWWW ITS LIKE WATCHING A CAR CRASH IN SLOW MOTION.

It's all the more frustrating too because BLOODMOON IS AWARE TO AN EXTENT BUT KEEPS FALLING BACK INTO THE HENCHMAN ROLE AND IT MAKES ME START RATTLING AT THE BATS OF MY ENCLOSURE LIKE BLOODMOON!!!!! BLOODMOON WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING BLOODMOON TURN AROUND GO BACK GO BACK NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

[tenojan-in-tevinter]

Honestly I really want to be able to side with Solas in dreadwolf. I think it'd be super interesting to play as an elf in Tevinter and be able to just go "yeah actually I think Fen'Harel is right let's tear down that veil." I mean I assume the main conflict will be Solas trying to convince your character to join him, or your character being told they have to try and stop him, and there are not enough games that let you side with the presented "villain" character. I want to see what the world is like with no veil I'm so interested. Also so interested to see what full-on Fen'Harel Solas is like. Is he still as empathetic? Or is he more conniving and distanced from "mortals" like the old stories would have us believe?

[zenithabovemarshland]

Saturn in Pisces: Make it, and make it eternal. Make it deathless. Make it undead. Make it true.

[dirtytransmasc]

hey there, cool blog <3 I love reading your takes on things

so I wanted to ask your take on larycent and what you think we’ll see in season 2

(wrote this whole thing out and then my computer died before I could post it. my first attempt at this was much better. this is cruel and unusual punishment, this whole thing is now infused with anger. not towards you, just in general.)

I should first start off by saying, thank you, I'm so happy you like reading my stuff, second off, I'll say I may be one of the worst people to ask, cause Larys is one of those characters I hate so much, plot be damned, he could choke on one of his stupid flowers within the first 5 minutes of season 2 and I couldn't give less of a shit. I'm not typically like that with characters, I tend to try and give a character enough grace to care about their place in plot, but Larys just makes me that angry. despite this, I will try to be appropriately opinionated and give you a proper answer lol.

from a story point of view their dynamic is fascinating. here's this guy with such little standing (compared to her as queen) who wields so much power against her. it starts out when she is young and alone, he spots this weakness and befriends her, giving her information, gives her company she so longs for, slowly spinning this web around her. then as she gets older, he becomes a sort of confidant, biding his time, until he finds the right moment to strike. he bends her words, given in great trust and secrecy, most likely not the first dangerous secret they've shared, and uses it to 'justify' (he didn't need her command to do it, he just waited to do it in a way that he could hold her accountable for it) killing his father and brother. this gives him power, he can use this against her, to keep her close. he's piled up blackmail at this point, he's got her bound in his web of secrets, she can't leave.

she knows he's dangerous now, she has to keep him close, or he could hurt her, her kids, her image, the people around her.

the other thing is, he gets off on it all. he gets off on bringing her to his level, by stripping her of her agency as queen so that way they are equals.

then by some means, he gets her to give herself up in a sexual manner. he had already been doing this, in a way; I vaguely remember some sort of statement or interview from Matthew Needham about how Larys gets off on bringing her down, on filling her with shame and guilt, on making her feel dirty. so getting her to truthfully give herself up to him for whether it be to keep him satisfied (I'll come back to this point in a second) or for information, gives him the ultimate gratification.

he was like a parasite, taking and taking and taking from her until he was satisfied. she couldn't get rid of him, as he posed a threat to her and others, she couldn't ignore him because then he would act out and be a threat. he had to be kept satisfied. she had to give him a purpose, a use, an outlet to feel like he had power. like a dog, if he was left to himself, he would grow bored and unruly, she had to offer herself to keep him entertained.

both Olivia and Matthew played this dynamic out so well. Matthew played Larys so slimey and gross and just irksome, I was uncomfortable whenever he was on screen. Olivia played Alicent's discomfort and forced compliance so well, I just felt insanely bad the whole time.

it really built Larys up as this thinly veiled evil, he could be... well behaved and friendly, he could be useful, he could be an ally of sorts, all for a price, and if that price went unpaid or he felt undervalued, he could quickly become something so downright awful. he could be something downright evil if he wanted to really, that he was willing to bend words and step on toes (ironically) to get what he wanted and show off his power.

it also built up Alicent, adding onto her list of horrors in life, and putting her in this power limbo. she was queen, yet she was felled by this nobleman, brought down to his level if not lower. while some (*ahem* team black stans *cough cough*) saught to demonize her for her suffering, it really led me to sympathize with her more than before. she had suffered this mans sick and twisted game since she was a child, and he shows no signs of stopping. she's always stepping around fear, knowing the monster she let into her chambers, unable to get him out.

so, outside of the fact that I hate to see my girl suffering so horrible, I can't say I love their dynamic, but I don't hate it... its like, so horrible but so interesting, and I hate it not because it's poorly done or unnecessary, it just makes me feel gross and horrible. 10/10 characterization, 10/10 portrayal, 10/10 plot building -100/10 making me feel nice lmao.

onto predictions: I think she's going to attempt to stand up to him and fail. at the end of season 1 we see her lose Viserys (abuser number 1) and stand up to Otto (abuser number 2) finally putting him in his place after years of biting her tongue to him, acting against him (ordering Aegon be brought to her, that the crowning of aegon/treatment of Rhaenyra be under her command, etc,). I think she'll attempt to continue this pattern and stand up to Larys, who has been nothing but an aching wound in her side.

its only then that he will truly show how evil he can be. he will show his anger, his wrath, the power he holds over her head. he has years of blackmail against her, he will make this evident. it wouldn't surprise me if we get a scene paralleling Daemon and Rhaenyra and the choking scene, if even if only slightly. he will do something to make her keep him at her side. I think he will be the first to bring true horror to our girl. we have seen fear, strife, anxiety, worry, and disbelief, but we have not seen horror. truthfully, I think he's the only one I believe capable of doing that to her.

he is happy to remain sat loyally at her feet (again, the irony) so long as she respects him and lets him use her to get off when he pleases, so after his little show of power, when he instills fear into her once more, he will lie back down like a good little parasitic inside man, while she waits in fear, forever caught in his web. it brings this new air of sick and twisted to it all; his true self has been revealed, he can no longer be looked at with any level of incapacity or harmlessness (not that he really could before, but I don't really know how to describe what I'm thinking of in any other way), yet he reverts back to his normal self. he may be more assertive of his power over her, his word may have a sharper edge to them, but he will still play his role as her obedient servant, while she suffers the stresses of it all.

its this forced 'trust' Alicent is forced to reenter that will keep him at her side up until the end of it (I believe they separate when he is to smuggle Maelor out of the city, but I'm not sure if/when Maelor will be brought into the city, so we'll see how that goes) and I think that dynamic will be equally awful as it is interesting to watch play out.

[wellthatschaotic]

neurotypicals are so frustrating,, i keep forgetting that "can you do x" means "go do x"

[blatterpussbunnyfromhell]

it's been about a month since s2 ended and I thought my obsession with ofmd had calmed down. and then Samba Schutte hits us with the BTS stuff.

I HAVE NOT CALMED DOWN

[rottenlittlefink]

If you’re like me and you low key find lucid dreaming shifting methods intimidating, try indirect methods! The Phase covers these and explains in depth exactly why the indirect methods are the easiest for beginners to master. Also the reason most ppl take years to shift is because not only are they immediately going for direct methods (which are harder, as they don’t require a lapse in consciousness to work and so on), but y’all only practice maybe like a couple times every few months. This is a call out for myself, too.

On the other hand, before giving up on a method, maybe the question isn’t whether the method is right or wrong, but ask yourself how well the method and the subsequent techniques are being applied. This is coming from someone who’s shifted multiple times already; it’s real, I promise, please don’t give up!