#synthese testosteron

[afkphorabit]

been thinking about jasper waking up after a werewolf night and going about his day as normal until someone just kinda notices something looks off about him. "is there something on my face?"

and depending on the person it's either "i think we need to get ito to look at this" or "this is the first time i've seen you forget to shave i think".

jasper with facial hair. jasper with facial hair! it could start as a side effect of the botched wolfsbane or even a side effect of the effective wolfsbane- as a sort of issue with adaptation to the changes, maybe. or werewolves have naturally higher testosterone and the wolfsbane makes it start to affect his human body. i dunno what the logistics and implications are but i think he deserves a little chin scruff for his struggles

[rolandkaros]

in addition to all of britain's various other crimes their shower water is also making my hair fall out.

[lillybean730]

drawing herlock sholmes tits to relax :]

[ceturyboytoy]

wip!

(evil) scientist dad who would burn the world to the ground for his trans son. his little ray of sunshine. his boy is the only thing in the universe that matters besides global domination.

he takes very special interest when his son comes out as a boy. he immediately begins synthesizing his own formula of testosterone, one with very fast acting and amplified effects. the doctor gets a sick pleasure from sticking his boy for the first time to administer his concoction.

he studies his baby closely, jotting down notes and dates with every little change. he insists that his precious little test subject stays by his side at all times to make sure he doesn’t miss a thing. when his voice cracks, dad is there running his fingers over his soft throat. when he start growing body hair, there’s dad slowly inspecting every inch of his little body. and finally when the kid starts going into heat and cant help rubbing his tiny thighs together, he knows it’s time for his favorite test.

“dad needs to make sure his strong boy is healthy, right? i’m a doctor, sweetheart, this is completely normal for me. now just try and relax.” but the boy was squirming like the stirrups were burning him, his legs spread wide and showing off his wet puffy boycunt.

“daaaad, please. please- why is this happening? it’s too much…” poor boy’s head was swimming with so many thoughts, all about his genius daddy. his big callused hands, those piercing analytical eyes, that strong but steady voice worming its way down to the little boy’s core.

“well,” he begins in his casual doctor voice, “your libido is getting much stronger, which is what we want to see, baby boy.” he’s got his hands on the kids knees just to gently keep them open as he looks down at the leaking wet mess on his table. he’s so proud of his son, growing up so fast but always a daddy’s boy. “now, sweetie, daddy’s going to touch your penis. my little man has grown, huh?”

two gloved fingers now fold back the hood on the boy’s clit, which seems to have grown a full inch over night. doctor dad makes a note. “3.175 centimeters. that’s great, son.”

“nngh daddy… please. please.” his boy is not paying attention to what he’s saying at all, but the doctor continues nonetheless.

“and… how does it feel when i do this?” daddy starts flicking his thumb over the swollen tdick. it gets a shriek out of the kid, jerking his body at the red hot sensation. “interesting. seems it’s more effective than I theorized.” and he continues with his ‘treatment’ until his little angel is cumming so hard he can’t see straight. the mad man notes the time it took to achieve orgasm via clitoral stimulus and smiles to himself. cold. clinical. even while his cock is hard and straining in his dress slacks.

[jellyfemmedyke]

You know when it comes to trans or hrt stuff, I've never seen anyone mention Percy Lavon Julian, who was a super smart chemist. I saw a drunk history about him a long time ago and I've always thought this guy was so cool

Percy Lavon Julian (April 11, 1899 – April 19, 1975) was an American research chemist and a pioneer in the chemical synthesis of medicinal drugs from plants.[1] He was the first to synthesize the natural product physostigmine and was a pioneer in the industrial large-scale chemical synthesis of the human hormones progesterone and testosterone from plant sterols such as stigmasterol and sitosterol. His work laid the foundation for the steroid drug industry's production of cortisone, other corticosteroids, and birth control pills.[2][3][4] From Wikipedia

This guy found out you can synthesize testosterone and progesterone out of soy beans and we never talk about him. He fought really hard to become a chemist, even having to leave the country to finish his schooling and get a PHD he's also played by Jordan Peele in the video

[smashorpassgilf]

Testosterone cypionate (first synthesized in 1951)

[drdemonprince]

I was afraid of using drugs for the majority of my life, and before testosterone was too physically sensitive to ever properly achieve an altered state on any substance, even alcohol.

In the last few years I have experimented a bit more with drugs. And I can't really determine whether it has been "good" for me, because how would I even evaluate that? It hasn't made me more productive, but I don't care about improving my productivity. It hasn't made me happier, but I think pursuing happiness is a foolish and unachievable goal. It has occasionally given me the illusion of a new insight, but I've always been highly cerebral and inwardly focused so at the most it's only hasted me making some realization I was bound to discover anyway.

But using substances has given me new aspects of inner experience, and it has been interesting. I am a writer first and foremost and my (entirely self-determined) purpose in life is to find things interesting, to observe and experience things, and make meaning of them, and to synthesize those influences into the art that I make. And I do consider it art, not science, not scholarship, but a form of creative expression and exploration. I never forget that the word "essay" means only "to attempt." I am a trier, and explorer, ultimately.

And to that end, I can view my life as worthwhile and the decisions that I make as acceptable, regardless of whether they make me a better person or a worse one, and despite my characteristic unhappiness and fault-findingness, because no matter what happens to me or how I feel about it, I can always at least choose to find things interesting. Drug use is one thing that I have found passably interesting and novel, from time to time.

Repeated, heavy, compulsive drug use can lead one into some truly boring lifestyles and places, from what I have observed, and that's somewhat the problem with unrelenting hedonism too: it gets dull. But nothing motivates me quite like being interested, and trying new things, and drugs are just one relatively more recent element of that, for me.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

May i have some advice on writing a trans-masc character? Like internal and external conflict and how to tackle them properly?

Writing Notes: Transmasculine

Transmasculine

A term used to describe people who were assigned female at birth but identify with a masculine gender identity more than a feminine gender identity.

This term is not interchangeable with trans man, although trans men may identify as transmasculine.

Can also be used to describe gender expression or as a gender identity in its own right.

“This term includes non-binary people, gender fluid people, genderqueer people—anyone assigned female at birth whose gender falls in the more masculine range,” Jo Eckler, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist based in Texas and author of I Can’t Fix You—Because You’re Not Broken, said in a 2020 interview with Health.

“The term transgender is often used as an umbrella term that encompasses anyone who does not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. So trans men and transmasculine people are both transgender.”

Transmasculine is an adjective sometimes used to describe transmen, as in “transmasculine activist.”

Matthew Heinz (2016) uses the term ‘transmasculine’ to: "loosely describe people who were assigned to the female sex at birth, who do not perceive this sex designation to be an appropriate representation of their gender or sex, and who may identify as AFAB (assigned female at birth), affirmed male, bi-gender, boi, boy, FAAB (female assigned at birth), f2m, F2M, female-bodied man, female-to-male (FTM), guy, M2M, male, male-identified, male of centre, man, man of transgendered experience, man with transsexual history, new man, non-binary guy, trannyboi, transboy, transfag, transguy, transmale, transman, transmasculine, or transmasculine-leaning."

This is not meant to be an exclusive list of the identity labels transmasculine individuals may create or select to describe themselves, which vary greatly in meaning and usage (Bhanji 2012; Diamond & Butterworth 2008; Norwood 2012; Spencer 2014).

The Transgender Emergence Model

Created by counselor and social worker Arlene Istar Lev in response to the lack of a theoretical framework to guide work with transgender clients in therapy (Lev, 2004).

The framework is comprised of 6 stages and is linear in structure, but allows for fluidity or movement between stages.

This model was one of the first attempts to create a model to describe the transgender identity development process.

Stage 1: Awareness

This stage is often marked by distress as the person comes to terms with a range of emotions and thoughts

Stage 2: Seeking Info/Reaching Out

Outreach for support and knowledge regarding gender identity

Connections are made to other transgender people to learn about their process and to discover additional supports

Stage 3: Disclosure to Significant Others

Disclosing one’s transgender identity to significant people—partners, family, friends, etc.

Developing additional support networks and navigating the challenges and responses of disclosure

Stage 4: Exploration: Identity and Self-Labeling

Exploring the numerous iterations of gender and becoming comfortable and owning the gender identity that is right for the individual

Stage 5: Exploration: Transition Issues / Possible Body Modification

Exploration of gender confirming interventions such as hormones, top or bottom surgery, and exploring specific expression of gender

Self-advocating and the ability to navigate gender identity and expression as one, while also challenging the world to acknowledge and respect one’s identity

Stage 6: Integration: Acceptance and Post-Transition Issues

Transitions begin and may be ongoing—hormones, hair removal, etc.

Acceptance has been acknowledged and the individual is living life having integrated and synthesized their gender identity

An example of a transgender person who has reached stage 6 might be a transmasculine college student (assigned female at birth) who begins taking testosterone and undertakes chest reduction (top) surgery in order to live full time as a man.

LIMITATIONS OF THIS MODEL

It focuses solely on gender identity development.

It does not offer a unified theory of sexual and gender identity development, even though these two aspects of identity are often intertwined and students may experience development of both simultaneously.

Stage Model on Transgender Identity Development

One of the first developmental models for transgender identities posited by Devor (2004). Within his model, Devor describes 14 linear stages in which the individual can progress through in order to develop a sense of identity pride.

Stage 1: Abiding Anxiety

Stage 2: Identity Confusion Regarding Originally Assigned Gender and Sex

Stage 3: Identity Comparison of Originally Assigned Gender and Sex

Stage 4: Discovery of Transgenderism

Stage 5: Identity Confusion Regarding Transgenderism

Stage 6: Identity Comparison of Transgenderism

Stage 7: Tolerance of Transgender Identity

Stage 8: Delay Before Acceptance of Transgender Identity

Stage 9: Acceptance of Transgender Identity

Stage 10: Delay Before Transition

Stage 11: Transition

Stage 12: Acceptance of Post-Transition Gender and Sex Identities

Stage 13: Integration

Stage 14: Pride

Broadly, this model posits that individuals begin the developmental process by experiencing anxiety and confusion over their gendered behaviours and compares them to others with the same assigned sex.

Similar to other models, the individual attempts to seek out greater belonging within the transgender community to affirm and accept their identity, however prior to doing this they may wish to make adjustments within their interpersonal environment so that they’re surrounded by individuals who are also accepting of a transgender identity (disclosure of identity may also follow from here).

The last stages of Devor’s model explore the notions of transitioning from one gender to another, and end in pride of identity.

That is, in order to re-affirm an individual’s identity with their gender, they may seek to transition from one gender to another, in either (or both) a social or physical sense, in order to fully accept and feel pride with their gender identity.

LIMITATIONS OF THIS MODEL

Although Devor’s (2004) model posits a comprehensive approach to transgender identity development, he clarifies that there could be multiple pathways within the model that transgender individuals can progress through.

Moreover, he notes that this model will not fit every transgender person or other gender-diverse individuals, such as those whose gender identity falls outside of the binary of male and female (for a discussion on other TGD development models, see Diamond et al., 2011).

Some aspects of Devor’s model might be applicable to these individuals, such as initial confusion and comparison of identity, whereas other stages (such as the transition stages), might be only applicable to the binary concepts of male/female gender-diversity.

However, an adaption of these transition stages within this model for gender non-binary individuals might be acceptable (e.g. these individuals might still transition from a binary gender identity to a non-binary gender identity from a social and cultural perspective).

Given the scarcity of research on the identity development of gender non-binary identities, future researchers should consider how models, such as Devor’s (2004), are adaptable to other gender-diverse individuals.

On Media Representation & Portrayals

Media rely on stereotypes to tell stories, especially when the topics deal with novel representations. At issue is the limited number of transmasculine characters, along with outdated tropes.

According to Dry (2019), Hollywood is still “figuring out what to do with trans male characters.”

Billard (2016) credited the invisibility of transgender men to the lack of shock or intrigue given to transgender women.

In its depictions, television teaches that young transmasculine characters are less scandalous than transfeminine characters, which is understandable given the more acceptable “tomboy” over the “sissy.”

New Amsterdam (2018) does a significantly more thorough job of explaining the transition of a transmasculine character than other medical dramas, which often focus on the surgical aspect. In the episode, transgender youth Shay’s parents describe how depressed he had been and how after he socially transitioned, he started smiling and making friends.

Heinz (2016) explained traditional transmasculine narratives in the following stages:

emergence of trans consciousness,

severe distress,

treatment of the condition, and

resolution of the distress and “integration into normative society” (p. 104).

The severe distress aspect is likely presented in 2 forms: others’ judgments and one’s own perception that they need to be “fixed.”

The “wrong body” trope, according to Halberstam (1998), describes an error of nature “whereby gender identity and biological sex are not only discontinuous but catastrophically at odds.”

Heinz (2016) added, “If one is trapped in the ‘wrong’ body, then one’s condition needs to be ‘righted’” (p. 89), which then leads to the third stage of altering the body through surgery and hormones.

This “wrong body” trope is mainly found in older series, such as The L Word, Degrassi, and The Fosters.

It no longer appears after 2015.

Instead of “wrong body,” Ian Harvie jokes in his comedy special, “I just feel like this was the right body. I just made some modifications to it.”

Interdisciplinary artist and film-maker Jules Rosskam (2010), ponders whether the system of representation itself precludes an ‘ideal’ trans representation in the media:

"Perhaps we can agree that we will not expect one person, one film, one story to represent the vastly different, extremely complex and beautiful variety of our lives. And, that no matter how much we disagree or dis-identify with the version of trans being represented, we must not engage in practices that attempt to silence certain voices, in order that ours be heard."

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References

If drawing from personal experience isn't possible, more important than all of this research is to speak with and listen to transmasculine people in our lives. Hope this helps with your writing!

[are-they-t4t]

Bill Cipher (non-cis) + Stanford Pines (trans man) [Gravity Falls]

Propaganda: "for bill, this is basically just a fact. his species has over 13 billion genders in canon and he doesnt even remember which one he is, so his gender and sex certainly dont conform to being cisgender and/or male. the concept of being cisgender probably just wouldnt exist in his society whatsoever

for ford, i just think it would be interesting and it doesnt cause too many issues aligning with canon. for the childhood flashbacks, when he was young, he couldve just cut his hair short, and i dont believe we see anyone but stan refer to him by name. (theres the admission board with his name written down, but i think he could just risk it and apply under the name he preferred) with his scientific talents and knack for inventing i dont doubt he could synthesize testosterone for himself as a pre-teen. its never stated whether stan and ford are identical or not, just that they look similar. also, t would add more onto fords entire complex about being weird and not fitting in, and be an interesting parallel to bills confidence in and love for weirdness looking at it in relation to bills own gender situation."

[ideas-4-stories]

Cross Guild romance AU -

Buggy makes his own explosives, which doesn't sound all that important until you sit back and think of the ramifications and knowledge required for that. Buggy is damn good with chemistry, math, physics, and I bet he was the brain to Shanks's brawn on the Oro Jackson; he'd probably have been all over Crocus whenever he could to learn more about anything and everything.

Crocodile and Mihaw don't really put the two together, given that they see Buggy primarily as an idiot and coward. It's when an epidemic spreads on the island that some odd things click into place-

Buggy has forgone the big costume, is in comfy and sturdy clothes. His face is painted minimally, hair tied into a tight bun, bandana on, and he's working side by side with the medical professionals. He's elbows deep in checking vitals, organizing charts, and even synthesizing medications. More members are sick than not, and they go under a near-quarantine lock down to handle the illness. Between working in the medical tents and taking care of his people, Buggy has also had a hand in organizing for resources to be sent and delivered.

Neither Croc nor Hawk had even considered some of the balls Buggy has gotten rolling. They both have very strong immune systems, so they rarely face or think of illness or sickness as something to prepare for or to account for, but this just exploded one day seemingly without warning, and the clown had a plan in motion by eevening.

It's at this point that they begin to wonder if maybe there's something more to their Chairman than they first thought...

((Bonus points, they catch Buggy coming back from a long shift at the medtent, sent off by the other's to get some rest, so he's just at that sweet spot of tired enough to lose filter. They ask about the medicines, and Buggy goes on a mini infodump about chemicals, hormones, enzymes, antioxidants and antibiotics, mentions that he and a few others already have a few batches baking, and sleepily chuckles about how "the simpler ones seem to work well so far, thank goodness. I was worried... *yawn* that I'd have to dip into my supplies for my testosterone... *falls asleep at the table*.

Croc just becomes the Spiderman meme of "TRANS???" when Buggy wakes up))

I LOVE this is an understatement, this is so good!!! I love Competent!Buggy so much!!! Why can't the clown be a fucking genius while being clown-failure babygirl he is?

Buggy having a plan by evening is because he has so much anxiety, I mean, look at the poor clown! It's always the things that he didn't think of that happens that gets him in trouble. But this, he can do this. I also love the headcanon, that Buggy learn a lot of things from Crocus, so he has this in the bag!

It would be funny if Buggy could be fine in a really bad pandemics, but the flu and whatever the happened near Laugh-Tale is his biggest sickness problems. What am I saying, back to this cool ask!

Buggy being competent because he doesn't want his crew to die or get really ill, not because he needs them to work, but because he wants them healthy and happy. Buggy forgoing the pillow onesie for something better, and not taking that much time on his makeup is so good, that just shows how he priorities his Nakama before himself is so cute! I have a headcanon that Buggy has a least a Field Medic degree or a Nurse one. Mihawk and Crocodile watching at the sidelines is what I see them doing, because like the clown's being competent and they see there's not much they can do in this.

Yes, on Buggy rambling on and on about things he does, I want Buggy to infodump so hard. Like really really hard, Buggy could go on and on about things that interests him for a while.

Buggy is every gender and nothing at all to me, and the spiderman meme with Crocodile is the only one pointing at Buggy while Buggy is confused and sleepy, while Mihawk is just there on the sidelines. Is really funny to me.

[yayasvalveplay]

smiling sooo hard right now trans optimus is one of my favoritest things in the world. that mech is transgender as all hell. ratchet performed his robot top surgery and prowl (t4t amica) synthesized robot testosterone for him. bulkhead and bumblebee and sari just think that changing your assignment is awesome. (sari voice) what… your trans gener… that is so cool… they all love him dearly

YES THAT ENTIRE TEAM LOVES HIM SO MUCH THEY LOVE AND DON'T CARE THAT HE'S TRANS BUT IF SOMEONE DEADNAMES HIM OR CALLS HIM A FEM ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE

LIKE EXCUSE YOU HE IS A MECH GET IT RIGHT SENTINEL AND ULTRA MAGNUS.

THE JETTTWINS ARE BETTER AT CALLING HIM A MECH AND STICKING WITH THAT, IT THEN YOU FUCKS

[answersfromzestual]

What type of testerone hormone replacement therapy is for you? - Article Comparing T-gel,Cream and Injections.

The two of the most debated forms of testerone hormone therapy are the cream ( T gel) and the injection method. This article goes on in depth on these two methods. It compares their positives and negatives to provide a very in depth perspective so you can make an informed decision on the method that is right for you.

THRT gel or creams a topical (rubbed on your skin) application that contains synthesized testosterone. It's typically formulated with carriers that ensure the optimal absorption of the formula through the skin. The exact compounds vary from brand to brand however the primary ingredient is always testosterone. Once applied onto the skin, the testosterone in the cream is gradually absorbed into the bloodstream. This process mimics your body's natural rhythm of testosterone release, also providing a steady level throughout the day.

THRT injections usually contain testosterone cypionate, testosterone enanthate, or testosterone propionate suspended in an oil. These formulations are designed for intramuscular injection, ensuring that the testosterone is slowly released into the bloodstream over a period of time (can range from one to a few weeks apart) These injections require a prescription in Canada and the US, but can also be available at clinics both online and offline. They also may require you to need to make doctor's visits to either do your injection or teach you how (depending on what your health care provider says they want to do). Some people can learn to inject themselves, others may not feel comfortable and can go to their doctor or a clinic to receive your shot. Make sure you have been properly instructed by a professional health care provider prior to doing your own injections.

IS T Gel and T Cream the same?

Differences between the cream and the gel options are the thickness and potency of the actual product . They are both transdermal methods (using the skin to get to the bloodstream) of using testosterone and are very similar in how they are used and function and the are usually a used in a smaller area so less chance of transfer and more equal levels. Creams are becoming a more stable option over the gel. This is a decision you and your doctor should make as to which option is better, side effects can differ slightly from brand to brand.

This is a comparison chart I found to help you make an informed decision on which style of application is best for you.

The images are in order of left to right

Importance of Individualized Treatment: No single THRT method suits everyone. Factors like age, lifestyle, medical history, and personal preferences play a significant role in the best choice.

Factors to Consider: Consider your daily routine, if you are comfortable with injections, the dosage, and potential side effects.

Consulting with Healthcare Professionals: Before deciding on any method, it is very important to discuss options with your/a healthcare provider familiar with testosterone therapies. This can also include an endocrinologist.

Important: remember more is not better! Taking a larger dose than you are instructed to can cause adverse side effects such as irritability, mood swings, changes in libido, and even hair loss.

Here is the source I used for images

Mayo Clinic Source

Source 3

Other sources include my experiences, and advice given to me by my family physician and endocrinologist

[officialbruciewayne]

Do you pregnant? Have you pregnant? When will you wear pregnant?

Hopefully this will finally lay the matter to rest.

If you will look at this doppler image of my abdominal ultrasound, you will notice I do not have a uterus. Not only do I not have a uterus, I also do not have anything that could be described as an amniotic sac.

I do, however, have two hip replacements. Skiing accident.

Now, here I have my FBC. There is some white blood cell elevation, which would align with a mild infection- such as those that might cause mild abdominal cramps -and I also took the liberty of adding a hCG panel.

You'll notice the amount is not zero, yes, wait--

This is because people who have testes produce a small amount of hCG to synthesize progesterone and also stimulate leydig cells. This is involved in testosterone production, and hCG can be used to diagnose hypogonadism, or associated cancers.

Whilst hCG is strongly associated with pregnant people, because it is a reliable method of diagnosis. In fact, a positive pregnancy test will generally show above 25 IU/L as opposed to 5-10 IU/L as typical.

Please remember, 25 is just for early potential detection and a pregnant person will generally have between 200 and 32,000 U/L in the first trimester. This amount can raise to 60, 000 before term.

Mine seems to be comfortably at 22 IU/L, which is a little above average for a person with testes (20) but below the upper-end of normal (40). This is actually quite a good sign for my age.

If this is still unconvincing, I suppose I can go pee on some barley seeds.

tl;dr I am not pregnaruto. I hope this helps

[theriverbeyond]

How aware is cam that pal is synthesizing testosterone in her body in between my teeth?

fic link here

HMMM I actually never thought about that when writing, but I would say if Cam doesn't know for sure that Pal is doing it, she would probably assume it is a possibility.

In-universe, I made up the idea that trans necromancers have something called the "endocrine reflex", where their bodies reflexively attempt to synthesize the correct sex hormone at puberty -- not to the extent of full binary transition, because I don't think non-Lyctor-necromancy allows for such a complete overhaul of ones own physiology (especially without conscious and sustained effort), but it would be noticible to a Lyctor looking in, and without further intentional intervention would result in hormone imbalances that potentially externally have similar results to stuff like PCOS or gynecomastia. maybe more or less extreme depending on the individual.

but back to Cam, I think that this would be a known phenomenon in the Nine Houses, so Cam would probably be able to put together the assumption that when Palamedes is active within her body, his soul may be reflexively attempting to synthesize testosterone. I don't think she would have a problem with it if she did know -- Cam's Whole Issue is that she doesn't consider herself to be her own person, seperate and independent from Palamedes. So like... even though I DO think that Cam deserves a little T, as a treat, I think it's impossible to seperate any personal gender fuckery she might have going on with her fullbody devotion to being Palamedes'.

[distinguishedscientist]

You mentioned that you synthesize your own testosterone; can I have some?

No. If I give it to you, I have to make enough for everyone, and that would get pricey. Not to mention the fact that it’s illegal, especially to distribute steroids.

[eldritch-bf]

Herbert West identity related headcanons:

ftm (obviously) gay and demi

if he’s 24 in 1985 then he was born in 1961 oof

I’m also using some info from the novelization as canon so he is Canadian and his parents died in a chemical fire in the house when he was 12-13

was forced to take ballet when be was 5-10 (something Jeffry Combs joked about in the commentary from Bride)

his parents were neglectful of him and didn’t really care about him wanting to have short hair or boy clothes plus they chalked it up to his presumably undiagnosed autism

realized he felt weird about the older boy in the foster home (13-18) but didn’t really understand it; mostly he is jealous when girls take away the boy’s attention; closest friend he ever had as they were alone together but Herbert knew he could never act on it so he kept those feelings to himself

he wants sex but only from someone he’s emotionally connected with which itself is rare and at the same time intellectually he considers sex to be debasing, while also being curious about the sensation and knowing the benefits of the chemicals produced during orgasm

this is coupled with the fact that at least before starting T any thought of sex or masturbation made him extremely dysphoric and repulsed so his whole relationship with sex is very complicated

he is deeply repulsed by femininity bc it reminds him of his childhood spend as his agab and the stupid gender norms his parents thrust upon him including dismissing him being a scientist just because he had the wrong parts

he is canonically annoyed by pretty much all sounds and I suspect higher pitched sounds including women’s voices are worse; lower register sounds like thunder and men’s voices can be calming to him

upon moving from Canada to the U.S. as a student at NYU he used his new name on everything and making a clean break from his old identity was a big reason why he picked a different country to study in

hated NYU and the only good thing was it was easy to synthesize testosterone

T made him so fucking horny and also eviscerated his dysphoria; man was cranking it fucking constantly for a year straight and did some of his best work before moving to Switzerland for 3 years

Dr Gruber immediately figured out what his deal was but didn’t say anything and just treated him normal and for that Herbert was extremely devoted to him; Dr Gruber also did his top surgery in Switzerland despite having never done such an operation before

Dr Gruber was the one and only member of his support system the only person who knew everything about him and understood him and accepted him, losing him was a devastating blow and Herbert decided he would keep himself closed off

Also Dr Gruber didn’t have anyone either and adored Herbert and according to the book fucking left Herbert his money when he died which paid for his tuition and moving costs etc

if I didn’t genuinely like the father/son dynamic they have, I would absolutely say he was fucking that old man

So he was cool and clipped to Dan when he first met him and when he moved in trying to keep Dan at arm’s length away but he saw how smart and hardworking Dan was and he knew how difficult it was to conduct this research alone and he desperately wanted the company

and Dan reminded him a lot of the first boy he ever had a crush on and it would give him a certain satisfaction to vicariously have his first crush through Dan yet also knowing that Dan is way better than the idiot teen boy he was in the foster home with who never gave him the time of day; he’s also pleased with the idea of dragging Dan (normal, supposedly heterosexual, law-abiding) down with him; he’s pulling the brightest kindest handsomest hardest working med student out of Miskatonic into his orbit and making Dan’s life revolve around him

literally “look at the bad bitch I pulled by being a little freak” absolute nightmare Herbert West takes personal pleasure in ruining sweaterboy Daniel Cain’s life

the chaos of everything they do is so much more important that when Dan finds out Herbert is trans and gay it doesn’t even phase him.

(Daniel Cain is bisexual and basically decided it was just easier to be pretend to be straight and get a girlfriend so he ignored his feelings for men. But now with Herbert he doesn’t have to.)

he is completely shocked by sex with Dan however despite knowing that Dan is experienced he was not prepared nor was Dan prepared for how awkward yet demanding the virginal Herbert West would be, yelling at him one moment before becoming cock stupid the next