#survivor blues : tommy pov

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Survivor Blues

DEAD WOOD: JOEL'S POV

A/N: After far too long, this one is back in action! I have missed writing this story so darn much and it feels great to be back with these characters. This interlude has been living in my wip folder for a damn year, and I am really exciting to finally be sharing it. It takes place immediately following the events of Part Five, and it marks the first time that we get to see things through Joel's eyes in this universe. (It also alludes to some things that I haven't expanded on within this story yet, but that I am so SO excited to.)

Series Masterlist

Word count: 4.4k

Warnings: language, mention of character death, loss, grief, trauma, brief description of injury, Ellie is a snarky teenager, PLOT SPOILERS FOR TLOU, feel free to message me if you have questions (it's actually a lot more hopeful than the title makes it sound)

Summary: Home from the supply run, Joel contemplates how far he's come since arriving in Jackson... and hopes that it will be the same for you. Tommy and Ellie - of course - have thoughts and opinions on things, too.

By the time Joel got home after a quick stop at the clinic, it was past seven, the house - and Ellie’s garage - both standing dark and empty against the beginnings of night. 

She must be out with friends. Good. 

It had taken a few years, but he was finally in a place where her absence didn’t immediately put him on edge. When they first settled into the house on Rancher Street, Joel would insist that Ellie stay at Tommy and Maria’s anytime he was gone overnight. Even the walls and the close knit community couldn’t fully satisfy that need to know that she was safe then. But now a note stuck to the refrigerator with a magnet telling him where she’d gone was more than sufficient. 

Which was exactly what he found when he entered the kitchen. Plucking the piece of paper from the fridge door and leaning against the counter, he read the girl’s hastily scrawled words. 

Joel, 

Not sure when you’re getting back but I might not be here when you do. Staying with some friends tonight and tomorrow. I’ll be home on Tuesday. Movie night - don’t forget!

-Ellie 

He chuckled to himself and shook his head. Like I’d ever forget movie night, kiddo. 

Getting that back - that time with her where they could just be a family, laughing together and watching some movie that was made fifteen years before she was born, that time that both of them desperately craved where they could put down all the things they carried and all the things they’d gone through even if only for 120 minutes at a time - that was a gift he would never take for granted. Her eventual forgiveness and understanding, once he’d finally explained his reasoning for the choices he made, was everything to Joel. And it was still fresh. The two of them were still awkwardly trying to find their way back to the kind of relationship they had before the lie came to light. But it was a chance that Joel never imagined he’d get, and it wasn’t one he would ever squander. 

He raised his hand to stick Ellie’s note back on the refrigerator door for now, but paused before using the same faded orange Longhorns magnet that she had used to secure it. Instead, he dug into his back pocket and pulled out a new one. Turning it over in his palm, Joel glanced down at the yellow letters spelling out Wyoming and remembered the look on your face when he handed you one identical to it that morning. 

It wasn’t really a smile, more like the framework of one, a hint of what it would look like fully fleshed out. It was different from the ones he’d seen you wear while working in the bakery or waving to someone on the street. Those were pleasantries that you were refamiliarizing yourself with. This one touched your eyes, softening them for a few seconds. It made Joel wonder what he unearthed with that small gesture - what part of your former life he’d been able to reach and awaken, at least partially. He didn’t bother with wondering what it meant that he’d taken an identical magnet for himself. 

With a sigh, he used the gas station souvenir to tack up Ellie’s note where he’d found it. Keeping his injured arm down at his side, he reached to open the cupboard next to the fridge and pulled down a glass and the bottle he kept there. He let out a grunt as he twisted the cap off, needing to use both hands to do so and being punished for the miniscule movement with a throb of discomfort through his bicep. Shit, that hurts. 

Though your work had held up just fine all the way back to Jackson, the wound had still garnered a hiss and a wince from the nurse on duty at the clinic. Using a cloth and clear grain alcohol, she’d carefully cleaned between and around the stitches, telling him that he was lucky he had someone with him who knew what they were doing, because the cut was deep and without closing it properly, he would have lost a lot more blood than he did. Slathering the area with an antiseptic cream, she re-wrapped his arm and sent him on his way, recommending that he not get the stitches wet for a good two days. 

Gonna have to stick my arm outta the shower I guess. First thing’s first, though. 

But before he could finish making himself a drink, he was interrupted by the call of his name. “Joel?” Tommy’s voice joined the stomp of his boots as he climbed the porch stairs and let himself through the front door. “Hey, Joel? Where-” 

I shoulda known he’d be over. 

Holly, the nurse at the clinic, was close friends with Maria. There was no way that she didn’t radio over to let Maria know that she’d just taken care of her brother-in-law. And that meant that Tommy knew, too. 

“Kitchen,” Joel answered, cutting his brother’s question short and reaching into the cupboard for a second glass. Setting it on the counter, he opened the freezer and scooped a few ice cubes into his palm before dividing them between the two tumblers. They clinked against the cut glass but fell silent as Joel poured a few fingers of whiskey in each, turning around in time to see Tommy appear in the doorway. “Hey, little brother.”

Tommy’s eyes were alert as he gave Joel the once over, his heightened focus settling on the bandage on his arm. “Shit, you alright? Holly said-” 

“M’fine, Tommy.” He picked up one of the glasses and handed it over, the younger man accepting it with visible relief. “Just a cut. Fell into some broken glass.”

Tommy raised one eyebrow. “You fell, huh?” 

Joel rolled his eyes with a gruff groan. “Couple’a infected caught us by surprise at the eye doctor. Nothin’ we couldn’t handle.” He leaned back against the counter and lifted his glass to his lips, taking a swig.

“Jesus.” Tommy took a drink, too, bending forward to rest his elbows on the island in the center of the kitchen. He set his glass down but kept his fingers around it, forehead furrowing as he spoke your name in the form of a question. “She’s alright, too? Holly didn’t say anything about-” 

Joel shook his head. “She’s fine, Tommy. Didn’t even have to stop at the clinic, so Holly didn’t see her.” He took another small drink, letting the rich amber liquid coat his tongue before swallowing. “She went straight back to her place from the stables.”

“Good.” Tommy nodded and blew out a breath, the last of the worry leaving his expression. “That’s good.” He cleared his throat and swirled the contents of his glass, watching the ice slide around the sides. “And uh… she did alright?” His eyes came back up then. “I mean, dealin’ with the infected and all?”  

Joel recalled the way you snapped immediately into action, shifting seamlessly from defense to attack, muscle memory taking over and guiding your blade exactly where it needed to go without hesitation. 

Alright’s an understatement. 

You’d had a moment of panic in the aftermath, but though Joel was certain that was what Tommy was asking about with the addition of “and all”, he decided not to consider it in his response. Your explanation was solid. No harm had been done, and he didn’t think it warranted mentioning. Nor did the fact that he had only been knocked through the glass display case because he’d glanced in your direction first to make sure you didn’t need help. 

We’re both fine. No point in worryin’ him over nothin’. She’s no more of a liability on a run than I am. She just… she needs time. Like we all did. 

“Yeah,” he answered, brows pinched together as he took another drink. He shrugged his bandaged arm out in front of him. “She even patched me up once we were in the clear.”

Tommy’s eyes widened. “Well, shit.” The tiniest twitch of his mustache gave away a hidden smirk, and he used the hand holding his glass to point at Joel. “You mean you actually let someone take care of you?” 

Joel rolled his eyes again. “Shut it, Tommy.” 

That got a laugh out of him, the younger man setting his glass on the island to lift both hands in a gesture of surrender. “I’m just messin’ with you, big brother.” He smiled, a smaller chuckle slipping through it as his hands dropped to the counter. “Really, though.” He nodded. “I’m glad you’re both okay.” 

“Yeah.” Your near-smile flashed in Joel’s memory again as his eyes shifted to the magnet on the refrigerator. “Me too.” The kitchen fell silent for a handful of seconds, both men finishing their drinks before Joel spoke again. “Hey, do… do you remember that time you gave me a hand takin’ down the old oak tree in the yard?” 

Tommy blinked, clearly surprised by the question, but didn’t ask why Joel had brought it up. Instead, he tilted his head, brow furrowed as he sorted through his memories. The moment he dug the right one from its hiding spot, his expression changed. The creases in his forehead smoothed out and gave way to curved lines around his mouth as he broke into a smile. 

“Yeah.” He let out a huff of laughter, hanging his head and letting it shake from side to side before lifting it again. When he did he was still smiling, though there was a bittersweet shadow behind it. I know. You miss her too. “I remember us catchin’ hell for it.” 

We sure did. Joel tipped the bottle to fill both glasses with a half measure, then screwed the cap back on and put the bottle back in the cabinet it came from. 

The tree in question had been Sarah’s favorite. A swing hung from one of its branches, and Joel had tacked scraps of wood into the trunk that she used as footholds to scamper up so she could sit in the Y-shaped split in the center. And though she was only seven at the time, she had put up quite a fight when it came to taking it down. Joel could still picture the determined scowl on her face as she sat against the trunk. She had her scrawny arms crossed over her chest as she informed her father and her uncle that she wouldn’t let them kill her tree. What she didn’t know was that the tree was diseased, and that if left alone, not only would it become a safety hazard, but it ran the risk of infecting other nearby trees. 

He matched Tommy’s smile. “That girl all but tied herself to that damn trunk.” Joel always had the suspicion that if she had the time and an accomplice to help her with the knots, she would have. “She could be persistent, huh?” 

Tommy hummed. “Wonder where she got that from. What is it they say about apples again?” He laughed, but then curiosity got the better of him. “What…” He coughed to clear his throat. “What made you think’a that?” 

I’m gettin’ to it. “You remember how I had to prove to her that the tree was sick? Took my pocket knife and scratched the bark so she could see it was already dyin’ underneath?” She had gasped when the scratch test revealed a grayish, ashy underlayer, her eyes going wide and her bottom lip quivering, tears threatening to spill as her outrage instantly turned to fear for the other trees in the yard. “I had to scrape ‘em all, show her the rest of ‘em were still green and alive, even though they all looked the same on the outside.”

Tommy’s eyes narrowed and he swallowed. “Yeah… Where you goin’ with this, Joel?” 

“I been thinkin’ about how it’s like that for people, too. It was like that for me. It was like that for me for a long time, Tommy.” Tilting the glass in his hand, he watched the amber liquid collect in the corner of it, shining gold through the cut crystal where the overhead light struck. “Scratch test came up gray for years. Thought I’d never really feel anything again… Thought I was done.” 

Straightening the glass, he let its contents slosh back to cover the bottom before bringing it to his lips and taking a sip. Honey and malt slid over his tongue, a subtle layer of smoke and spice following as he swallowed. Back in Boston, drinking wasn’t something he did for enjoyment or relaxation. It wasn’t for savoring or even tasting, really. Then he drank to forget. To sleep. To turn it all off. Here in Jackson though, he could share a drink with his brother and remember. 

Remember what life tasted and looked and felt like. Remember his daughter. Remember who he was beneath all the dead wood around his heart.  

“Yeah.” Tommy’s eyes were on his own glass, a frown pulling at his mouth and etching creases between his eyebrows again. “I know.” He cleared his throat and took a long swig, finishing his drink with a wince that cracked into a fool’s gold grin - one that Joel knew was covering feelings of guilt and empathy and other things Tommy still felt compelled to atone for even though Joel had tried his best to lay those things to rest in the years since their reunion. We were no good to each other like that, little brother. We would have just broken each other. I don’t blame you for leavin’. Not anymore. Tommy reached over, grin still stretched across his face but growing more genuine as he clapped Joel on the shoulder of his good arm. “But you ain’t done, you old fucker. Not yet.” 

That was thanks almost entirely to Ellie and they both knew it. The girl was determined, borderline relentless, same as Sarah had been with the tree. She had been the one to keep scratching, keep digging, keep checking for the hint of green under all that twisted, lifeless gray. And when she found it, all the things that he thought had disappeared started coming out of their dormancy.

Things like jokes and laughter. Memories. The capacity to care deeply for others again. Things like movie nights. The things that made surviving the worst worthwhile. 

It was also thanks in part to Jackson - and to Tommy and Maria for welcoming him and Ellie into their lives. Some days it terrified him, allowing himself to have so much to lose again. There were still times he worried that he had peeled back too many of those hardened layers. That he’d let his guard down too much, exposed his heart to happiness for too long and that it would all be lost to blight. But even on those days he knew what Tommy had just said to be true - that he wasn’t done yet. 

And neither is she. 

Joel spoke your name then, nodding solemnly. “I think it’s been like that for her for a long time, too.” 

Tommy sighed. “Yeah.” He finished his drink and walked over to set the empty glass in the sink. “I got that impression, too.” Turning around, he tilted his head to one side. “You said she was alright on the trip though. Somethin’ happen?” 

Joel took a breath in through his nose, letting it back out slowly. “Just…” He tapped his pointer finger absently against the glass he still held. “I think I saw that  in her. The green underneath. I think… bein’ here is… it’s helpin’ her.” Even if she’s got a long way to go. “It’s… she’s still in there.”  

You were. And Joel realized, for the first time since meeting Tess all those years ago in Boston, that he wanted to know that person - the person who showed him the hint of a genuine smile, the person who carefully and gently patched him up, the person who shared a coveted instant coffee packet with him to pass the time and stay warm on a chilly night. And that scares the hell outta me.  

“Well that’s-” Tommy’s smile had nothing but warmth behind it that time. “That’s real good to hear.” He stepped away from the counter and towards the kitchen door then, bringing his hands together. “Well, I’ll get outta here so you can get yourself cleaned up and all. Just had to make sure you were good after we heard from Holly.” 

Joel nodded, following him out into the living room. “Yeah. How’d you put it? Thanks for still givin’ a shit about me?” He heard his brother snort out a laugh before turning around to face him again. 

“Yeah, exactly.” He paused then, the joking smile falling away to reveal something more serious yet still full of relief and warmth. When he spoke again his words were quiet, but they made a big impact. “It’s real good to hear you talk about Sarah again, too.” 

With that, he left, and Joel was left to respond to the empty room. “Yeah. It is.” 

–  –  – 

Twenty minutes later he was drying off from the shower when he heard the sound of the back door opening, followed by the call of his name. 

“Joel? You home?” Ellie’s voice was muffled by the closed door and the towel that he was dragging over his hair. 

Ellie? Thought she was stayin’ out tonight? 

He called back. “Yeah. Gimme five minutes, I’ll be right down.”  

Moving from the bathroom into his bedroom, Joel pulled clean clothes and underwear from his dresser - a pair of thick navy blue sweatpants along with a dark gray t- shirt and a pair of wool socks. Easing the shirt carefully over his wrapped bicep, he sighed, knowing that as soon as Ellie saw it she would react. She hated seeing him injured, as anyone would hate to see someone they cared about get hurt. But Joel knew that in her case, it was more than that. In her case, it reminded her of those dark days in Colorado, when she did all she could to keep him alive and still wasn’t sure he would make it through the night. 

It won’t always be like that, though. ‘Least I hope not. For her sake. 

The  thought of covering it up with a loose fitting flannel or long sleeved shirt didn’t even occur to him, though. After coming clean about everything that happened in Salt Lake City with the Fireflies and the doctor they were working with, Joel made a solemn vow to himself that he’d never withhold the truth from her again. Even when it might hurt. Especially when it might hurt. Because he knew that nothing he’d done in that hospital had hurt her more than the lie he told her on the outskirts of Jackson. 

And I’ll never do that to her again. 

As he made his way down the stairs, he heard her moving around in the kitchen, the sound of plates being set on the counter meeting his ears. “I’m making sandwiches,” she yelled when the fourth step from the bottom creaked under his weight. “You want one?” 

“Sure, kiddo.”  What happened to stayin’ with your friends? Everything alright?” He wasn’t trying to distract her by keeping her talking before she saw his arm, but Joel wanted her to hear it in his voice that he was okay. 

She groaned. “Kat and Dina are having some kind of stupid drama and I didn’t wanna get sucked into it so I decided to come home. You know, they’re both important to me but sometimes they can just - Fuck! Joel! What the?” 

He’d walked into the kitchen at the same time that she looked up from the slices of bread that she was piling with leftover chicken, the sight of him making her stop what she was doing and scramble around the island to stand in front of him. 

“Hey, hey, it’s…” He held up both hands, only wincing a little at the pull of his stitches when he lifted his arm. “I’m fine, Ellie. Just a cut.” 

“Well …” Her eyes were wide but she tore  them from the bandage to look up at him. “Well, what happened? I thought it was supposed to be an easy run?” 

“It was. But you know as well as I do that easy runs can turn, yeah?” He reached forward, placing his hand on her shoulder and tilting his head to the side. “Hey. I’m okay, kiddo.” Giving her a light squeeze, he waited for her to nod and accept what he was saying, and then he shot a glance at the half-finished sandwiches. “C’mon, I’m starvin’. Let’s eat and I’ll fill you in.” 

Just like he did the night that he and Tommy brought you into town, Joel sat down and told her everything that happened at the optometrist’s office - how the pair of infected had seemingly come from nowhere and were suddenly on the two of you, how the one that lunged at him managed to knock him backwards and through a glass case, how you had made sure that the wound was cleaned and tended to as best as you could. And though she had been concerned and rattled at the beginning of his story, Ellie was wearing something close to a smirk as he finished. 

“Oh.” She bit off a mouthful of her sandwich, raising her eyebrows as she chewed and speaking again before she swallowed. “So you like… really trust this chick, huh?” 

Joel clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. Her too? First Tommy and now- “That’s your comment? Not ‘Well I’m glad you had someone there to help you, Joel’?” 

Ellie rolled her eyes right back. “Yeah, yeah that too. But I mean…” She gave a casual, one-shouldered shrug. “First you let her take care of you, then you decide to both sleep at the same time instead of taking shifts?” She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him. “You never do that unless it’s me or Tommy.” Something dawned on her then, and she turned mid-chew toward the sink, gesturing towards it with the hand that still held what was left of her sandwich. “Wait. Is that why there’s two glasses in there? Did she come over when you got back to town?” 

“What? No. Ellie…” He sighed, and shook his head. “No. There’s two glasses in the sink because Tommy was here earlier, not-” 

“Well you should invite her over for dinner then. As a thank you-” She emphasized her intention to silence his protest. “- for sewing you up, you know?” 

Joel took a bite of his food, chewing it slowly to buy himself more time before answering. The idea of having you in his home, sharing a meal, talking and laughing - he’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t like it. But I don’t know if she… 

He thought back to his own first few months in Jackson and how skittish he was every time someone would try to include him in anything that wasn’t directly related to security or survival. It all still seemed so impractical. Cookouts and movie nights and holidays while the world outside the walls continued to crumble? And then there was the guilt. That grating, shredding near-constant feeling that he shouldn’t be there - shouldn’t be safe, shouldn’t be happy or comfortable or even alive - not when Tess didn’t get to be there too. Not when Sarah never had a chance to. You hadn’t said much about the things you’d been through or the people you’d lost, other than that you’d recently lost your nephew. But Joel knew from experience that while those devastating wounds never fully healed, they did become less raw when they were given some time.   

I’d like it. But I don’t know if she’s ready for somethin’ like that. He swallowed and brought a hand up to wipe his mouth. Yet. 

“Maybe when the weather’s nicer an’ we can cook outside.” He got up from the table and took his plate with him, setting it in the sink next to the two glasses. 

The scrape of chair legs on the floor told him that Ellie had gotten up, too, the girl appearing at his elbow to stack her plate atop his. “What does the weather have to do with-” He shot her a look then and she rolled her eyes. “Alright, fine. But we’re circling back to this in June.” 

Joel leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “Speakin’ of circling back, you said somethin’ about your friends fightin’? You wanna talk about that?” He lifted one eyebrow as she shot him a look of her own. 

“I do not.” 

Joel snorted a laugh. “Alright, then. Just try not to go breakin’ too many hearts, yeah? You don’t-” 

Without missing a beat, Ellie grabbed the dish towel that was hanging on the oven handle, balling it up and throwing it at his face. “Shut up.” She was laughing too, though, bending down to pick up the towel after Joel had batted it away. “So stupid.” Straightening back up with an exaggerated sigh, she whipped the towel onto the countertop. “On that note, I’m gonna get outta here.” She glanced at his arm, mouth dipping into a quick frown that was gone by the time she looked back up at his face. “I’m glad you’re home, Joel. Have a good night.” 

He smiled, chest warming as he did. “G’night, kiddo. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

With that she turned and was nearly out the door when something caught her eye and she stopped in front of the refrigerator. “Hey, you got a new magnet.” She pointed at the note she’d left him, now stuck up with the square-ish shape of Wyoming. “I used the cowhead one but this one’s-” She looked over her shoulder, a smirk beginning to grow. “You brought home a souvenir from your trip, huh? So you could remember it? Any reason for that?” 

Joel narrowed his eyes at her, but all it did was pull a laugh out of her. “Good night, Ellie.”  She laughed all the way down the back porch steps but Joel didn’t mind. She ain’t wrong.

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[augment-techs]

Boom!Comics, what if Drakkon had actually died at the end of Shattered Grid??

....Oh, fuck this is gonna be hard. Lemme think.

It's so hard to pull on this thread and follow a single end loosed from it. There's so much to be addressed.

Kiya would have to be given consideration, because the writers fucked up with her in ways that are still ringing out in Darkest Hour. She needed treatment for her PTSD and Survivor's Guilt and killing the Blue Emissary. So I think Trini would have to actually tap into her Yellow potential WITHOUT Drakkon's goading.

The Eltarian Invasion would have to go through a speed run, because the Omega Rangers wouldn't make the incredibly stupid decision to nick Drakkon out of the Command Center and go galivanting about the universe based on his advice--more to the point, would the Red Emissary even be caught unawares by the Orange Empyreal if he wasn't checking in on Drakkon? No.

The bullshit with Zedd and the Dome Arc would have to still be gone through, because otherwise Matt wouldn't be revealed, and Zordon would still have to be proven wrong, so the stress would be even greater because the Omegas DIDN'T defy Zordon in this timeline and leave a crack in his ego, so the punishment for Billy would have been much differently handled...I think.

Tommy and Matt's dick measuring contest would have to be forestalled by Zack and Jason being unwilling to not look at things from Matt's POV, and I should like for Billy to have actually talked out his reasoning not just with the Stone Canyon Trio--though I still want that--but with Kimberly and Tommy. They've all been stressed out and under pressure and he needs someone who isn't new or hasn't been gone that could actually understand him. And possibly call him out sooner for keeping secrets from them when THEY aren't Zordon.

I would like to think that Zartus would make an effort to turn up the charm and use a charisma check to try and get Zordon on his side, but that means he would have to come to Earth while both the Red and Yellow Emissaries are alive and thus he only has control of the one Empyreal so he has to take care about sending it to particular planets to decimate.

Which means sending the Sentry Force Four to pick up Zelya and interrupt her dating Skull so she blew him off BEFORE she and Bulk had a heart to heart. BEFORE the Dome was placed over Angel Grove.

I think, for lack of any other way into understanding, the Rangers would contact the Coinless Universe in the hopes that THEY would have some idea what the Empyreal they met actually was.

Which, fun times for all, because YES, actually, TWO people from there do.

Ranger Slayer, Coinless Bulk, Sentry Skull end up popping over to the Prime universe to lend a hand. Skull happily dragging Finster-5 along with them because they're the two.

And Coinless Jason comes along, too, much to the distress of everyone there that was under the impression that he was dead. Kim thought he could use a breath of fresh air away from their world's rebuilding process and Jason was grateful for the chance to see a version of Billy and Angel Grove still standing.

And--except for Kim--they're all wearing Colors the others weren't expecting. White for Jason, Purple for Bulk, and--much to the discomfort of the Omega Rangers--Orange for Skull.

The Orange especially leaving the Omegas with a prickling sensation in the back of their minds. A bad aftertaste from the Empyreal.

"Fun fact about those fucking things? You can get rid of them, but you have to find the corpse of the Emissary they were born from and find a Ranger with a correlating Color to punch the corpse," is Skull's first observation after Finster's creepy explanation about the origin of the Empyreals ("Yeah, there are three of them. Opposite of their Primary Color counterpart. But at least you can count on them to cut to the chase instead of pulling some metaphorical lyricist bullshit,") with a tiredness that nobody expected from one of the Coinless after they gained their world back.

It's a lot of talking, a lot of convoluted back and forth about why the Empyreal would seem like it was on a mission for job instead of fulfilling their divine purpose.

I would like to think that the Omegas would propose team-up with the Coinless until things got straightened out. With the elder Kim, Bulk, and Jason remaining on Earth in case the Empyreal came knocking and Finster-5 and Skull coming with them on the Spectrum II in the hopes of cutting off more planets being killed.

Skull takes them up on their offer without looking to the other Coinless for consideration, given that it feels like everything is an a time limit and it's not like he could have left the Command Center to visit the Juice Bar or anything, despite Bulk's protests.

"I look too much like myself. It's fine."

Finster-5 does not really have much of a choice in the matter since he's on eternal probation and will do whatever the Ranger Slayer tells him to do.

However, Slayer Kim would probably have to go back and forth between one Earth and another to keep the peace, and Coinless Zack and Trini would pop in here and there as the ball really got rolling with the Eltarians showing up, acting as if they want to forge a proper alliance with Earth JUST before Zedd raises his metaphorical finger and everything is way more out in the open than it ever had any right to be.

I want Zedd to get a proper body. I want Zordon to get his own proper body. I want Rita to get yanked back to the Eath and given to Grace Sterling because the Omegas and Skull found her Dumpster spinning through space and weren't going to take the chance that Finster-5 would do something stupid. I think Jason would trust her a little more and would want to curry favor with someone other than Zordon...just in case.

I am also going to use this as an excuse to cut out the middle man so she can't be called on by Vile and therefore bring about Dark Specter using Zordon's old body. Zordon's getting that back so he and Zedd can beat the crap out of Zartus and be MORTAL so they both have certain expectations of accountability when they fuck up.

I also want to use this as an excuse for Zordon still getting called out, but I want it to be by someone that he wasn't expecting: like Purple Ranger Bulk finding the "spare change" in the Command Center and taking Zordon to task about trust and destiny and how even if the Rangers are now soldiers, they're also children and it's really not right to mess about without consulting them.

"Because 'you said so' is not an answer."

There is still a situation where the Empyreal goes to wipe out the Hartunians, but because Skull is not Drakkon and they'd have no reason to leave him behind on the ship, age and experience would be on their side. All but 40 members of the population wouldn't have to die--Skull would merely tear out the the king's heart so the queen could either aid them or perish. Which works splendidly as during the evacuation process it becomes very clear that the Empyreal is under someone else's command, and that someone can be traced to the Celestial Shard that formed with the Blue Emissary's death from their heart.

Hartunia is still destroyed and rendered 'Anew' but the people are alive and under new rule and relocated to an unoccupied world where they can start again without weapons or the scavenging practices and under the rule of Evor Till who winds up swearing fealty to the Rangers, with the promise to aid them if ever they call.

It leaves the Omegas rather shaken that they didn't fail and actually have somewhere to turn to make things better, but it also leaves them feeling sick that there's a version of Skull--living on their ship until things pan out--that would kill someone without hesitation or even appearing remorseful.

I really, really want the home team Bulk and Skull to get at least a little consideration from either Zordon or Grace Sterling in this scenario.

....That's all I've got. I'm sorry. This was hard.

@skyland2703

[bittersw33t-lotus]

Ayo I saw your prompt thing.. What about 11 with philza..? (fatherly ofc not like romantic)

Hope

P! C! Philza x Reader & sibling! Tommy

Cw: Death, trauma, blood, death, violence, gore?, angst obvi. I keep switching between first pov and third so forgive me.

A/n: Everyone only has one life and the revival book does exist but it’s like an urban legend and Dream doesn’t have it.

Summary: Dream breaks free from prision and has one thing in mind, to seek revenge and lust for blood on his hands

Edited? Yes

After Wilbur was born Phil promised to leave it at one kid until he found Techno and adopted him into the family. But Phil placed his stopping point at two kids, but that quickly failed again when he found you and Tommy.

You were both babies, you were barely a year old with Tommy only a month old at best. Your village was raided and burnt down by pillagers. The village was one that Phil frequently visited to buy errands, so when he arrived, he only came run a quick errand but was met with a devastating scene.

Civilians bodies scattered around the village, bloodied and brutally slaughtered by pillagers. Houses burnt and broken down. It was a gruesome scene. Phil set off a search for survivors sending his crows to scout the area and search houses for any survivors.

House after house, all Phil ever saw was blood. Walking out of a house with yet another lifeless family inside broke Phil’s heart. The sight of the slaughtered children made him think about his own two boys back at home, his brain imaging a nightmare fuel scene, something he’d never want to witness with his own eyes. He searched more houses until a crow called for him. “Phil I hear someone in here this house but I can’t find anyone!” The crow shouted a few houses down where the male stood.

Quickly, he rushed to the house, walking in he was met with another bloody scene. By the door was a male, his (h/c) hair dirtied with his own blood as he laid on the floor, a chair beside him which Phil assumed was used as a weapon but intimately fail due to the mans outcome. He sighed before turning his attention to the crow, “Where’d you hear the noise?” Phil asked the crow as they sat on a broken window sill before they stood up and flew over to the top the stairs heading up to the second floor. “Up here.” The crow answered. Phil silently followed hoping for some survivors, he’d hate himself if he couldn’t save at least one person, he hoped he wasn’t too late.

Walking down the hall he looked through every door listening for any noise, but the house was dead silent, “…a…” he stopped walking, it was a faint voice and sounded muffled. His ears picked up the noise coming from a room at the end of the hallway, the door cracked open a few inches. As he got closer he could see a wooden sign hanging on it. He could make out the words on the sign as he grew closer. Two names painted on the wood. The top one read ‘(yn)’ and below it read “Tommy” next to the names had a heart next to each one.

Pushing open the door he was met with a heart wrenching scene. It was a nursery, toys broken and battered scattered around the room, two cribs with one knocked over and the other shifted out of place, a rocking chair knocked to the floor, some clothing scattered on the floor they were most definitely infant sizes, and in the middle of the room laid a woman’s corpse. Her blonde hair sprawled around the ground and her face, she laid on her side allowing Phil see the the side of her face, her blue orbs dull and lifeless with blood spattered tainting her skin and blond locks. She lied on a colorful rug which was now soaked with her own pool of blood. Phil noticed the placement of the rug seemed to be off. The top of the mat where her head laid was bent upwards exposing the bottom of the mat with her hand was laying on the top corner like she was lifting it up. Upon examining closer he saw line in the wooden floor that disappeared underneath the rug. It almost seemed like… a hidden door way to secret compartment within the floor…

“Ma!” The voice came back again, it still sounded muffled but was more clear to hear now, it was high pitch and sounded like a baby! Gasping Phil rushed to the floor carefully but hastily moving the rug along with the mothers body. As Phil dragged the run away it revealed the lines to be an entire door just as he thought. He spotted the handle which was a sliver ring handle before looping his two fingers through and pulled it back. The wood creaking had echoing through the silent house, as he lifted the door. His blue eyes met with two tiny but big pairs of eyes. One the same colored eyes like his bright like the sky and (e/c) eyes that shined just as bright as the other. “Ma!” The tiny voice called out to Phil. He gently set the door down to the ground letting the sunlight shine into the hidden compartment. Phil releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he stared two small infants who stared back at him with such curiosity and no idea of what surrounded around them. The noise was coming from you, calling out for your mother who was only a few feet laying lifeless from you but you could see due to the height of the compartment being a few inches taller from where you sat. You were looking up at the stranger with long blond hair , a green and white bucket hat, a green kimono, and a pair of huge beautiful raven wings that shined with as bright as the sun that peaked through your nursery through the window. You and Phil stared at each other, you seemed to be a only a year old or close to a year, your hair was shoulder length and looked so soft, and your clothes dirtied from dust and dirt that laid within the mini safe space, but you were laid in a bassinet big enough for you and another little baby you lied with. It was a boy. He was clearly a new born, his teary eyes looked back at Phil in awe, his rosy tear stained cheeks mushed together as he grinned, quirking around in the blankets that covered you both with some more blankets surrounding you two.

Upon close examination both infants wore their pajamas with their respected names on them, with that he quickly learned you were (yn), the oldest and the youngest was Tommy. Both babies stared at Phil in awe as he stared back with a sympathetic look in his eyes until a smile etched both of your faces, Tommy let go of the blanket from his tiny grip and reached out towards Phil, giggles erupting through the room. It didn’t take him long to realize that the children were both amazed with the crow that flew into the room and gracefully landing on Phil’s shoulder. The bird stared back at you amazed and thankful to see there were two survivors, flying down the crow latched onto the end of the bassinet near where you sat, you started back in shock not moving as the crow started back at you mocking your confusion with a simple head tilt. A smile came to your face again reaching out for the bird that was two times your size, your tiny fingers grazing it’s black feathers, the crow bowing it’s head down into your hand nuzzling it’s head into your palm. Phil smiled at the interaction feeling his heart strings tug.

As much as he didn’t want to, Phil couldn’t resist the urge to take the two infants and adopt them as their new father. He had agreed to stick with only two kids, Wilbur and Techno were already enough for him, and he could find a family to take the two and raise them, together of course we wouldn’t want to separate them, but it didn’t seem right for to not take them as his own, besides how could he resist them?? They were so cute and- Omg Tommy’s reaching out for Phil while (yn) and his crow were bonding which was a sight to see. He can’t let these two slip away from him.

So selfishly without a second thought he stood up and began searching for the needed materials he’ll need if he’s gonna bring them home, before that he should get their mothers body out of here, he doesn’t want them to see this. Bringing out her body, Phil had laid her down beside the father in the living room and placed a blanket over the couple. Staring at them for a few seconds in sympathy he kneeled down at their feet. “I promise I will take care of them, I’ll protect them and make sure they know about you. I promise they’ll be safe with me,” Standing up he left to receive the infants and all their belongings, making a mental promise to himself and the children’s parents.

“Next time if they need saving, I won’t be late.”

———————

The moment Phil received the news that Dream had broken out of prison his heart dropped.

His crows were swarming the man screaming. “Dream’s escaped!!!” “Dream got out!!” “Where’s Tommy?!!?” “Where’s (YN)?!!”

Tommy and (yn) had set out to go mining early morning that day, it was noon and the two still weren’t home. He hoped they back on their way home right now or with someone to protect them both from dream, since the man made it obvious he had it out for his two youngest. Seeing how traumatized Tommy was a the sight and mere mention of his name. And how (yn) always pushed his buttons by standing up to him, defending Tommy, making it obvious you don’t see Dream as as a ‘god’ and refuse to let him control you. You were just like Techno.

Phil was quick to send out his crows to search for the two teens before he went to go search for them himself too. He ran towards the portal and entered following the trail to the portal that sent you to the mainland, he hoped to find the teens on the way to the portal but to no luck. Going through the portal he had arrived and saw his crows flying around calling for (yn) and Tommy. Unfortunately this had alerted the one person they were trying to save the teens from, alerting the man that two certain teens were around the area.

—————

Tommy and you had decided to finally head back home to Phil, but instead of taking the short cut through the nether you decided to head home the longer way, you both wanted to stop by the lake to skip rocks and clean off your dirt covered faces. Which had meant passing by the prison.

The moment the huge building came into view, you and Tommy had unknowingly gotten the same gut feeling, telling you both to just go through the portal, but neither of you said anything to each other and kept on walking past the prison and into the forest. Your gut feeling had sent an unpleasant tingling behind you, while Tommy had shivers sent down his spine. Unknowingly you two walked closer together as your nerves failed to calm down.

“TOMMY!! (YN)!!!!”

A distant voice called. Tommy and you had froze, standing still and quiet, the only sound of leaves rustling in the trees by the gentle wind. You turned around, having your back towards Tommy as you looked around the forest, “Did you hear that?” You whispered to Tommy only to receive no response from your brother. Confused from his silence you turn to him when you heard him take a sharp breath in, his hand reached out and gripped your wrist. His grip was tight you could feel how shaken he was, you had looked up to his face and saw from his profile view, his eye was wide with terror and his jaw tight. “Tommy..” you grew nervous calling out to your brother before following his line of sight, all you saw was a flash of orange before you were suddenly tackled to the floor, the force of the sudden weight on you forced you to collide with ground painfully in a flash, causing the wind to knock out of you. You had gasped before grunting, something sharp had jabbed through shirt on your lower left abdomen, the pain became unbearable when it was twisted and nudged deeper into your skin. An agonizing scream ripped from your throat, tears stung your eyes as you gripped your left hand on the persons hand that was digging the dagger into your abdomen, while your right hand tried pushing the person off you by their chest. A ragged laugh erupted from above you, you’d recognize that laugh from anywhere. Your eyes shot wide open finally revealing your attacker. Dream. He escaped prison? How?

Tommy stared at the sight of Dream above his sister with his dagger in her abdomen. He wanted to help but he was terrified to get near the man who tormented him for days on end. He made him live each day in fear of running into him. He was scared to die but if he didn’t help you he’d never forgive him self. “TOMMY!” You cried out again the pain in your voice finally got him to snap and move his body. Bringing out his pickaxe Tommy ran while yelling out as he approached the man. “FUCK YOU!” He screamed out, Dream let his guard down luckily so Tommy swung the pickaxe diving it straight into his shoulder blade.

Dream cried out as he fell off you, his tight grip on the dagger forced the weapon to come out of your abdomen cutting you more. The pain grew worse as you rolled onto your side, feeling the blood gush out of you at an alarming rate. Tommy kneeled down beside you eyeing your shirt soaked in dark crimson which grew bigger. “(YN)!!” He cried out. Dream took out the pickaxe grunting in pain before he took the weapon in his hand and swung the non-sharp side at Tommy, hitting him in his temple before the boy could act. He knocked Tommy out cold with blood seeping from his temple.

Watching your brother get knocked unconscious next to you, you reached out for him until you heard dreams laugh and felt you body being pulled away from him by your ankles. “TOMMY!” You cried out in pain feeling your wound scraping on the dirt ground. With force you were harshly turned onto your back, your head smacked against the ground. Groaning you tried getting up until a foot was dug into your chest causing your breath to run short. Dream shifted his weight onto your chest until a loud crack came within you, you screamed in pain as your ribs began cracking under his foot. Dream laughed at your scream and cries as he stared at your face cringing in pain trying your hardest to fight him off you to no avail. Finally he steps off your chest before kicking your side rolling you farther away from Tommy. Landing on you stomach you tried to move your arms to get up but with no strength left and the pain pushing through your body it was impossible to move let alone breath properly with your crushed ribs poking your lungs.

“Hrnnng..” a grunt came from Tommy as he began to come back and slowly got up. “Tommy…!” Your raspy voiced tried to yell out for him. Dream chuckled walking over to you, you tried crawling away but he once again stepped on your back this time with his foot on your lower spine. “(Yn)… (YN)!!” Tommy frantically looked around til his eyes landed on your frail body being stepped on by Dream who loomed over you. “LET THEM GO!!” He shouted getting up to walk towards you, until Dream kneeled down, grabbing your hair at the roots pulling your head up to look at Tommy, tears falling down your face. Dream pointed his dagger straight at your chest hovering over your heart. “One more step closer and I’ll put this right through their heart.”

“No! Please don’t!” Tommy cried out.

“TOMMY!!! (YN)!!!” A familiar voice called out to you two from the distance, an all to familiar voice that made you feel hope of being saved. “PHILL! HELP!” You and Tommy cried out with all your might despite your lungs screaming out in pain.

Dream growled at the name of their father, of course he was looking for them, how about leaving him a little surprise. A smile etched onto his face and without thinking he thrusted his dagger into your chest. You breath hitched as you crunch and gush sounds of skin breaking eches into all three of your ears.

“NOO!” Tommy yelled out running towards Dream shoving him off you taking you into his arms. “(Yn)!!!” You cried out in pain, gripping onto Tommy’s arm. Tears began trailing down Tommy’s face. “Your going to be ok (Yn)! Dad’s on his way!” You couldn’t answer, coughing and wheezing in pain as you gurgled on blood that was now seeping out of the corners of your mouth. Dream got up, Tommy’s pickaxe in hand, his face seething in anger and began approaching the two of you. Tommy saw him approaching but didn’t bother to fight back, if you die he wants to go down with you, he can’t go one without you.

“It’s time I give Phil his repayment, I was hoping to prolong this entertainment but looks like the big bird is here.” Dream spoke glaring at Tommy gripping g the axe this time with the blade facing forward. He stopped only a feet away from the siblings before raising the pickaxe aiming for Tommy’s head, Tommy braced for impact as you tried your best to shove him away to save him from the hit as you grunted in pain, but to no avail, Tommy hugged you tighter pulling your body to his using his body to protect you. The axe almost made contact till his vision was blocked out from sudden blobs of black swarming his face, claws began scratching at his at his face and skin. A herd of ‘caws’ sounded out till more and more caws came and surrounded the man. Black feathers surrounded Dream causing him to drop the axe and swung his arm around while the other Shielded his face.

Tommy looked up at the sounds, his eyes widened as he saw dozens of Phil’s crows swarming the Dream, scratching and pecking at his skin with their claws and beaks. You stared in awe seeing a flock of murders, who were all usually cowards, very little were bold enough to fight with majority of them were too scared, or too soft to fight anyone, let alone Phil, Dream, and Techno. “(YN), TOMMY!!” Phil’s voice filled your ear, you smiled knowing he arrived on time before you go. “phil…” you chocked out, your voice weak and a faint smile etched on your face. Phil had finally came into view his eyes widened seeing Tommy’s teary eyes and your bloodied state, barely hold on. His attention was brought to the most wanted criminal who was crying out being swarmed by chat.

Dream lay on the floor desperately trying to fight off the murder of crows attacking him. Phil already knew the birds were protecting his two kids, unfortunately they didn’t arrive on time seeing yours and Tommy’s state, Phil began to feel dread. Was he too late again. No! He hoped he wasn’t.

Turning his attention back to Dream, Phil’s gaze went dark, his bucket hat sending a shadow over his eyes. He brought out his netherite sword into his hand and approached the man. Chat felt his murderous aura and flocked away giving you three a view of his Bloody body. Dream’s dirty blonde hair was dirtied once again with blood from his scalp, parts of his face, arms and torso missing little chunks of skin and all scratched up that was now gushing out blood and staining his clothes with ripped holes.

Dream breathed out in relief from no longer being swarmed but his relief was short lived when he noticed a familiar shadow with a set of wings loomed over him. “Oh shit…” he breathed out looking up from the ground and was meet with the two siblings. Tommy crying, heartbreak evident in his cries as you lay in his arms on deaths door. Dreams heart dropped. He knew he was in deep shit now.

“Look at me you fucker.” His voice deep he almost growled his words out. Fear coursing through Dream’s body as he heard the ‘shing’ of a sword being unsheathed. Dream reluctantly looked up to face the father of the two ducklings he decided to torment, finally facing the consequences of his actions. Giving the angel of death a nervous smile as he supported his upper body with one arm, and his other shielding his lower face covering his mouth, his quivering fear evident of his arms as they shook. “P-Phil hey look. I-I didn’t mean to- I panicked a-and-“ he was cut off with a quick shaken inhale as Phil’s sword was thrusted forward and harshly protruding his neck. The tip of the weapon snugged into his skin by 2 centimeters. Dream was silent, restraining his body and voice from clinching in fear and shouting in pain fearing the sword will impale his artery with the slightest flinch. “Give me a good reason why a shouldn’t kill you.” Phil spoke, if looks could kill Dream would already drop dead and become a feast for his crows. “Look it was an accident I didn’t mean too. I didn’t mean to stab them, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to kill them Phil! I was just trying to teach the kids a lesson for-” he was cut off as Phil’s jaw tightened and gripped his sword tighter, the sword digging ever so slightly into his neck.

Tommy looked at Dream the same, his anger staring to bubble and overflow,all those times he was all cocky, all high and mighty, claiming that he was a inferior, like he was god himself, but now here he is. Pleading for mercy, sounding pathetic, cowering in fear like a kicked puppy and shaking like leaf. What a sight to see. He was finally getting a taste of his medicine.

Phil was quiet. Too quiet. He didn’t answer Dream, keeping everyone, but mostly Dream, on edge. What felt like minuets Phil pulled his sword away from the males neck, a little trail of blood already making his way down his collar bone. Tommy grew confused, what is he doing?

Dream had visibly loosened up his shoulders falling. He exhaled dramatically, letting out shaken laughs with a nervous smile plastered of his face. “Phew! Haha… I though for a second there you were gonna- EH!” The sound of a violent ‘WSH!’ Echoed and the sound of flesh almost cancelled out from the sword being swung. Dream let out gurgled gasps. His hands swinging to his neck, the deep slash gushing out large amounts of blood, some splattering onto Phil’s shoes. Dreams blood spilling out like a shower. Falling over the the ground on his side he reached his bloody hand towards where you and Tommy were but it was futile. Phil had walked over him and approached you both. Looking past his shoulder he stared down the bleeding out man. “A life for a life am i right?” He said before turning his back on his and leaving him to die out.

Turning back around Phil saw the state you looked to be in as his heart dropped, “My baby…” He ran to you both, kneeling beside you and taking you in his arms. He brought his hand to you cheek, tears began to cascade down his face. You softly smiled despite the blood seeping from your mouth, bringing your hand up and caressing you fathers face. “I’m so sorry.” He whimpered out. “It’s… ok…” you were struggling to talk. You eyes were growing heavier by the second. “I shou…ld’ve…. been m-more… careful… and fou-fought.. better-“ you were cut off by Tommy. “Don’t say that you were amazing, I should be sorry. I was too scared and all I did was stand there and watch!” He cried out. “It’s… my job to protect you…. Don’t be… sorry. Don’t… ever blame… yourself. Or. I’ll haunt you…” Tommy shook his head. “Don’t say that, you’ll be fine, we’ll get you back to Techno’s and we’ll heal you.” You stopped him and held his hand with your other hand. “Tommy. I’m.. not gonna make… it.” You breathed out tears falling down all three of your faces, Dream cries of pain were being drowned out by you all focusing on each other. “I will always… love you both…, don’t… ever blame your selves… take care of each… other.. and take care… of Techno too…” you said. Your arms finally gave up resting on your stomach but now keeping one of their hands in each one hand each. “I’m gonna sleep… now. Good night.” You breathed out. You body seemed to grow heavier in Phil’s arms, he swears he could feel the moment you heart stopped beating on his arm that laid beneath you. Taking a deep breath in Phil raised his head and gently set you into Tommy’s arms, as he gladly took you into his and held you close to him, continuing to cry out for you.

Phil held onto both you and Tommy as tears cascaded his face, his heart breaking into a million pieces. The crows surrounding the small family held their heads down in guilt for not making it in time to save you, tears of their own rimmed to their eyes and fell.

Phil broke his promise, the promise he made to your parents and the village he failed to save because he was too late, now he failed to save you.

‘I’m too late.’

(Yn) was slain by DreamWasTaken

DreamWasTaken was slain by Philza

[starfighter10]

tlou2 opinion

So I really had to share my opinion(rant) on the last of us part 2 and boy I have a lot to say. I am gonna dwell deep into this one, so bear with me if you can and want to

 But before that I have to share the feelings I hold for tlou1.Back when I finished tlou1, I knew I experienced something truly magical. I was pleasantly surprised by the beautifully crafted story, the execution of the characters, the music, the gameplay , and the effort that went into shaping the journey of the game,the character arcs and bonds. You could see and experience the uniqueness and passion that went into the first project. This game immediately became a favourite of mine.

When tlou2 was announced, my expectations were skyhigh,was elated to continue Joel and Ellie's journey and how it unfolds. The bar set by the first one was exceptionally high and probably impossible to achieve, but I had trust and faith in naughty dog, thought they couldn't go wrong with this one. After experiencing tlou2 , I am speechless.... not in a good way. I have no words to express my disappointment,frustration and anger I feel right now. I don't even know where to begin.... the absolute mess of a plot, the original characters being blatantly ignored, retconned and disrespected in favour of new bland characters, the plotholes in the story, the false advertising and marketing, naughty dog's hubris, making a complete mockery of your fans who are paying money to play something but getting baited for something else. I am utterly heartbroken and angry.

The plot - the driving force of the game is over ambitious, lazy,sloppy and nihilistic. It felt forced. Naughty dog bit off more then they could chew with this one. Tlou2 could have gone several ways in terms of plot with the existing characters, yet we get the cliche revenge plotline with the character abandoning the quest altogether to realise revenge isn't the answer. This trope has been done several times before, with more finesse and better execution. The writers aim for the " Ellie breaks the cycle of the revenge" but it really fails to achieve this as she blatanly annihilates several characters,npcs along the way in quest of her revenge. The damage has been done practically speaking. According to naughty dog's logic , I should expect Nora's sister or a random npc's friend/relatives in tlou3 hunting down Ellie in their revenge quest. Also Abby's quest literally does nothing for me. This character was so poorly written, executed and shoved down our throats, I didn't have any sort of attachment or empathy for her. I simply don't care about this character.

The circumstances that lead to Joel's death was out of character as well. Since the trailer drop in 2016, I was prepared for his inevitable death. Thought he would probably go out like the badass he is, maybe sacrificing himself for Ellie/tommy. The Joel I know from tlou1, a hardened survivor who has fought tooth and nail to survive the past 20 years would NEVER end up in a situation like that. Joel was intensely alert, critical,clever and intuitive. The argument here may be that he has softened in Jackson, but I feel at this point this should be 2nd nature to him. Something that is automatic. Yet the writer's now want you to believe he is a dumbass who would trust a group of strangers, make small talk and introductions and end up in a situation like that. One of the bigger issues was the constant reinforcing that Joel wiped down the fireflies in cold blood and doomed humanity for death by robbing them of their cure for survival,Ellie believing the cure would have been a guaranteed sure shot success ..... WHY? This retcons the first one completely. The beauty of the tlou1 was it's moral ambiguity and uncertainty. We were constantly hinted that fireflies is a mess of a group whose agendas weren't clearly known, whose actions caused the sacrifice of many people for the sake of a slight possibility of a cure.They were power hungry and were cruel enough to send a 14 year old girl to her death with no remorse,consent or any proper investigation or medical research. Joel initially negotiates to find someone else, gets shut down immediately, gets his means of survival snatched and was practically marched to his death. He had no option but to wipe clean these people who planned on killing someone dear to him, for something that is uncertain or in vain. And yes this was a selfish decision on Joel's part, and that was the beauty of it. The moral ambiguity. He was right or wrong or both - open to your interpretation. BUT NOW NAUGHTY DOG WANTS TO TO ERASE ALL THAT DEVELOPMENT. The active reinforcement that Joel was a cold, ruthless murderer who killed fireflies and deprived humanity of its cure? Trying to erase the fact that he was surviving and trying to keep his dear ones safe in this cold, brutal and unforgiving postapocalyptic world. So that we sympathize with Abby and enjoy golfing the tf outa Joel?. Ellie seems like a different character in this one, but again this character is immediately pushed to a whirlwind of traumatic events right from the start of the game. I missed her spark of joy,humour and enthusiasm. The treatment of the main chatacter in her own game is utterly cruel and disappointing, and seemed unfair to me. By the end, Ellie is broken beyond repair. Though she thematically chooses to be the better person and gives up on her vengeance and hate, she still manages to be on the losing side as she ends up losing her father figure which was her closest bond, loses Dina and the kid , she doesn't have her community, her people, her fucking fingers as well. Why? So Ellie could suffer a little more and be unable to do most important thing that bonded her to Joel. Not to mention she loses her switchblade too, her mother's final memory. Surprised that ND spared her mother's letter . Feel her pain and despair. Why does Ellie get such a shitty,depressing, worthless, futile and a hopeless conclusion while Abby not only gets her revenge successfully, forms a close bond in Lev and gets to escape possibly to a fresh start. Ellie? Nah she gets to suffer alone. Her BIGGEST FEAR has become a reality by the end. The least they could do is let Ellie have some solace and calm, surrounded by her loved ones on that farm,her trying to recover from her trauma slowly but surely, it's what joel would have wished for. But no, she is left all alone, absolutely traumatized, all by herself with nothing to look forward to. Oh and tommy is whole new character in every scene. So keep your eyes peeled for various versions of tommy throughout. The character inconsistencies are ridiculous.

The gameplay, beautiful sceneries, and new characters like dina and jesse are few of the positives of game - leaning more towards Jesse. Dina felt perfect for Ellie and Jesse did manage to lighten up few of the moments. The space shuttle cutscene, the museum flashback sequence, ellie and joel's flashbacks were the only parts that remotely captures the magic and beauty of tlou1. I got emotional watching them. The space shuttle sequence hits you with the feels. Joel slaying a bloater with a machete was cinematic art. (Hot too)

Abby... the forced deuteragonist, is an utter failure of character execution. Her character was forced onto us, felt hasty and lacked real build up. She starts off on the wrong foot by killing one of the most popular characters. If ND really wanted this character to work, the only possible way would have been to play her point of view and backstory prior to her mercilessly killing and torturing a guy who just saved her life. What was ND thinking? That a few hours of her pov,forced out of the blue background story, her getting to play with dogs while ellie has no option but to attack the dogs, the abby-lev bond which is pretty much discount or the walmart version ellie and joel would be enough to side with her over ellie and joel???? The part where they force you to play as abby against ellie? It made me sick. I felt cheated and disgusted.

The false advertising to make us believe joel is alive and good? That this is an ellie and joel centric game?To tug at your heartstrings like this. A complete mockery of the fans who waited 7 years to see their favorite characters get horribly treated,retconned, disrespected and thrown under the bus in favour of new unlikable characters. Butchering the heart and soul of the last of us - Joel and Ellie's bond. The fact that these two don't even get a heart to heart before his death, that Joel dies uncertain of ellie's future, maybe thought he could not save Ellie in those final painful moments, that she had never forgiven him, Ellie never getting her closure with Joel, or really getting to tell him how much he meant to her.... all these thoughts legit made me shed tears. Broke my heart. This is how much ND wanted to honour and respect ellie and joel.

The game's conclusion is hollow, futile, worthless and depressing. And in my opinion, this is non canon. This is the only way I can cope with this unsastifying conclusion. It is immaturity I guess... but I will feel better about it.

Though I utterly despise tlou2, tlou1 will continue to remain one of my favorite pieces of work in fiction. JOEL FUCKING MILLER WILL ALWAYS BE THE BADDEST BITCH AND NOTHING WILL CHANGE THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HIM.

If someone actually read it all the way, thank you for your time and effort. Really needed to rant and let these negative emotions out.

[djmariutza]

SKULLGIRLS: MIDNIGHT’S STORY “WHILE MY GUITAR GENTLY WEEPS”

PART 9

Peacock’s POV

(meanwhile at Lab 8...)

“Another attack in Rommelgrad?!” I heard Big Band saying with a surprised tone. He was talking with Dr. Avian and the others.

“Hey, Jazz, can it, will ya?” I said. “I’m watching TV with ma boyz here! It’s gettin’ to da good part!”

“Yeah, can it, tin can!” Avery said.

“Hive send some bee drones in a reconnaissance mission there.” Leduc said ignoring me and Avery.

“If the intel is correct, then it was another attack there.” Hive continued.

“You can not go there once again, Ben.” Dr. Avian said. “You’re not fully recovered.”

“I know, Doc.” Big Band said. "But I know someone who can..."

“Seriously, guys, shut it!” I said annoyed. “I told ya I’m watchin-”

“Not anymore, Little Bird.” I heard Big Band coming. “You and your gang will go to Rommelgrad.”

“WHAT?!” Avery burst.

“Shut it, Avery. Let him continue.” I said.  “Boyz, prep my car! I’ll join ya in a jiff.”

“YES, BOSS!”

The rest of my gang left the room. Avery was sitting on my shoulder.

“Finally some REAL action!” I said. I turned off the TV and I stood up. “Go on, Windwood. What do ya want?”

“Thanks, P.” Big Band said. “As I was saying, a few moments ago there was another attack in Rommelgrad. I’m not fully recovered and Hive and Leduc have other missions to do."

“An’ what’s the plan, Brassafrass?” I asked.

“You will go there and search the area. If there are any survivors, bring them here. Ileum and Stanley will have a look at ‘em. And if you’re lucky, maybe you will find that friend of yours... What was her name again?”

Marie...

I haven’t heard anything about her ever since Jazz brought me to Doc Avian. I hope she’s alright... Who am I kiddin’? I miss her...

‘Marie... We'll be back soon... I promise...’

I sighed.

"Are you alright, Little Bird?" Brassafrass asked.

“Alright.” I said ignoring his question. “You got it, Sax Man with the Sax Plan. I’ll go there.”

“Keep your hat on and be careful.” Jazz said. “It’s your first mission-”

“Yeah, yeah...” I interrupted him. “Don’t worry, Windwood. Will do. YOLO, bitches!”

I went to the garage. My boys waited me next to the car.

“Everything is prepped, boss.” Tommy said. “We’re good ta go when you say so.”

“Good. Hop in, boyz! Sooner we finish, sooner we’ll be back on watchin’ ‘GLORIOUS Annie: Symphony of Star Stuff’.”

“AWWW YASSS!! AN’ I GOTTA GET BACK IN TIME FOR WRASSLIN’!!!” Andy yelled excited. “AWWWWW I HEARD BEOWULF’S COMIN’ OUTTA RETIREMENT!!!”

“The Wulf himself?” Avery asked.

“There can be no other.” I answered. “C’mon, boyz!”

We got into the car. I was at the steering wheel. I started the engine and we rolled on the streets blasting through the garage wall.

“Where are we goin’, boss?” Tommy asked.

“Rommelgrad.” I answered. “We doin’ some recon, we get back ta da Lab an’ we watch TV all da day.”

"Sounds good ta me, boss!" Avery said.

“AWWWW, YASSSS!!! CANNOT WAIT TILL WE FINISHED!!!!” Andy’s excitement bursted again.

“Oh, shut it, metalhead!!! Me ears hurt!” Avery yelled annoyed.

We reached Rommelgrad without any problems. I parked the car near the refugee camp, then we jumped off the car.

The place was thrashed up for good after the last attack. There was blood everywhere from the mafia outbreak here and this attack. A wall had a huge crack. Some thrash cans were thrashed as well. 

"Windwood wasn't kiddin'." I said.

"Dis attack was a nasty one, boss." Tommy said. He sounded a bit concerned. "I think dat it wasn't a mafia outbreak, nor a Skullgirl one."

There was a blood stain in front of me. I kneeled, I ran two fingers through the blood and I smelled it.

"It's a recent stain." I concluded, then I stood up and I wiped my fingers. "Alrighty, boyz, let's-"

"Shhhh!" Avery interrupted me. "Boss, listen!"

I heard something faded. It sounded like someone or something who was... crying or... yelping? I couldn't tell.

"Ya heard dat, boss?!" Andy asked.

"Loud an' clear, Andy. Alrighty, let's see where does it come from. Follow me an' watch yo six, guys."

I couldn’t figure out why was I also a bit concerned, but I didn’t care. We were walking slowly towards the cry. It starter to get darker and darker, and suddenly we saw a blue light on the ground.

“Look, boss!” Avery yelled. “Over there!”

We reached the light. My jaw dropped.

“A Living Weapon?!” I said surprised.

It was a black guitar-shaped Living Weapon with a skull on it which was dark blue and light blue and a black dragon head with light blue eyes at the end. Theonite tears were rolling out from the skull’s eyes.

“So, the cry came from it...” I realised.

There was a dragon-looking-like Parasite over the guitar.

“Da Parasite’s barely breathin’, boss.” Tommy said after he checked the Parasite’s pulse. “He lost his consciousness after he was beaten up.”

“Hey, boss!! Come over ‘ere!!” Andy called out. He sounded like he was freaked out. “There’s someone ‘ere!!”

I reached Andy in a hurry. I was a bit freaked as well. Five steps away Andy found a boyish girl laying on her side with her right hand on her abdomen.

“Is she breathin’?” I asked.

“Barely, boss.” Andy answered. “She lost a lot of blood. She’s unconscious as well.”

“Maybe the Doc or Ileum can take a look at ‘em.” Avery said. 

“Ye’re right.” I concluded. “Andy, take the girl. Tommy, ye take the Weapon an’ the Parasite. I’ll bring the car.”

“YES, BOSS!” Tommy and Andy said simultaneously.

I rushed to the car and I brought it near the gang. Andy and Tommy put them in the car. After the boys hoped in, I drove to the Lab as fast as I could.

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Survivor Blues

SIMILAR SCARS : TOMMY’S POV

A/N: Hi friends! I hope you’re all having a great weekend and doing well. First of all, I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has read and commented on this story thus far - your support means the world to me! Secondly, I am so darn sorry that this story has taken such a long break. It was completely unintentional and in no way indicative of how excited I am to be writing it. That being said, it is officially back in action effective immediately, and I am pumped to share this part of it. I really enjoyed getting inside Tommy’s head, so I hope you like it, too. This is the second interlude within the main story of Survivor Blues, and should be read between Part Three & Part Four. 

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: language, character death, loss, grief, trauma, PLOT SPOILERS FOR TLOU, feel free to message me if you have questions  

Summary: When you mention that you recently lost your nephew, Tommy understands all too well what you’re going through. 

On the morning that he was scheduled to meet you at the stables to take you out on your first trail sweep, Tommy had the alarm clock beat by nearly an hour. 

Knew I wasn’t gonna need it when I set it. 

Right arm bent with that hand stuffed under his pillow, he stared up at the ceiling as the bedroom slowly filled with light. His eyes followed the spidery line of a crack he’d been meaning to repair - and that Maria had been jokingly threatening to hire a professional for. 

“I’m sure your brother wouldn’t mind taking care of it,” she teased, a mischievous glint in her eye and a playful smirk pulling at her lips. 

“I’ll get to it this weekend, woman,” he grumbled back through a grin, kissing the corner of her mouth. 

That had been three weekends ago, the crack lengthening by a few millimeters since then. Shit, I really have to do something about that ‘fore she does get Joel over here. I’d never hear the end of it. From either of ‘em. 

There was no shortage of small emergencies or other things around Jackson that took priority though, and there were still only twenty four hours in a day, so Tommy knew that Maria understood when smaller issues slid under the radar. She was equally busy and constantly being pulled in different directions herself, the responsibilities of running a town stretching endless just like the crack above their heads. But she pulls it off. We pull it off together. 

Tilting his chin, he looked down through his lashes at his wife, a warm surge of affection, appreciation and pride swirling in his chest. I love this woman with everything I got. In sleep, she had rolled onto her side, shifting close enough for Tommy to loop his left arm loosely around her shoulders, one of hers thrown over his middle. There were only a few minutes left before the alarm was set to sound, but he still tried not to wake her as his fingertips ghosted along the skin of her bicep. Gotta rest when we can. 

Like everyone that had survived as long as they had, they both had plenty of things to keep them up at night. Or wake them well before their alarms. 

That morning - that whole week - for him, it was Sarah. 

Actually, it was you. It was what you’d said your first night in town, sitting at one of the tables in the community center. It was how you’d said it - and what it immediately made him feel. 

It was what it shook loose in his heart. 

A long sigh left his lungs empty. Removing his hand from under the pillow and scrubbing it down over his face, he took a slow breath to fill them again, recalling the look you wore and the broken sound of your voice when you said that you’d lost your nephew. A kid. She lost a kid. When you said that you were alone. And she had no one to… 

It sliced at him, knowing how much a loss like that hurt, knowing what it felt like to try to process something like that. Shit. For years I didn’t fuckin’ process it at all. Tommy knew what it was like to suffer a loss like the one that you had recently suffered, and then shove it down and hold it in and seal it off until it turned toxic. Until it consumed you. 

That was what losing Sarah had done to him. It’s what it had done to Joel. And though the two of them spent the first decade after the outbreak together, in all that time they never did talk about the most devastating loss either of them would ever feel. Not in any meaningful way. And it… it tore us apart. Made us ugly. Made us… made us into monsters that Sarah wouldn’t even recognize. 

Tommy had watched his older brother go from a carefree teenager to a responsible, stretched-too-thin-but-damned-if-he’s-not-trying single father when he was essentially still a kid himself. He watched Joel work overtime and pick up odd jobs to make ends meet, trade in weekends spent with friends at football tailgates for trips to the park or the zoo with his daughter, and he watched the way he beamed whenever he talked about his baby girl. 

And then she was just gone. And in almost every way that mattered, so was Joel. And Tommy lost both of them. 

A hollow, hopeless feeling had taken hold of him as he stood in that field, choking on his brother’s name in response to the hysterical pleas for help that he was powerless to give. Because I knew. I knew there was nothin’ I could do and- 

And I should have run faster. I should have gotten there sooner. I should have taken the shot from further away, before that asshole had the chance to- 

Those were the thoughts he’d spent years fighting back. That was the guilt that he bent beneath, that he carried with him every step he took. That feeling that he could have - should have - somehow been able to change the outcome, that he had somehow failed his brother and his niece. That- 

That it should have been me if it had to be any of us. 

They still crept up on him from time to time, those dark, painful thoughts. That sharp, jagged guilt still cut. The echoes of the night Sarah died still haunted him. But the ghosts that swirled in his chest and gathered in his throat to make it hard to breathe were interrupted that particular morning by the curl of Maria’s fingers against his side.

It had taken him the better part of twenty years and falling in love with the most stubborn, determined, compassionate woman he’d ever met, but Tommy was finally able to forgive himself for surviving. He knew, though, that had more to do with having Maria in his life than the amount of time that passed. Because she… He opened his eyes and cast them down at her again as she shifted, inhaling a slow breath through her nose as his t-shirt wrinkled beneath her cheek. She brought me back to life. Tilting his chin, he buried his lips in her hair, kissing the crown of her head. Showed me bein’ here was still worthwhile. Showed me how to do more than survive. 

It had been at Maria’s urging that he finally opened up about losing Sarah. That he finally grieved and mourned and set free all of the things he’d forced himself to hold inside. She let him share his agony and his rage with her, opened her arms and took as much of it from him as she could. And then she urged him to move forward. 

“Tommy.” She muttered his name without lifting her cheek or opening her eyes, but he felt her slide her hand up his side to settle on his chest. Instinctively, the arm he already had around her drew her in closer to his body, the other dropping down to join it as he hummed a response. “You’re awake.” I am. Her palm moved slowly over the cotton of his tee to rest over his heart as he pressed another kiss to her forehead, this one lingering. “You have been for a while.” I have. 

“Well, good mornin’ to you, too.” He swung for humor and missed, letting out a sigh when her only response was to lift her face to look at him. No use in sugarcoating it, not with her. It was one of the things he loved most about his wife - that she preferred to handle things head on, even early in the morning. “Yeah.” He nodded as he reached to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Yeah, I’ve been up. Got some things on my mind I guess.” 

Eyes on him, she leaned into his touch, letting his hand curve around the side of her head as she nodded against his palm. “I know.” Of course you do. “I saw your face in the community center the other night, Tommy.” She pushed herself up so that she was resting her weight on one elbow, the other arm still slung over his chest as his hand dropped down to her back. “I know what she said about her nephew… I know you’re thinking about Sarah.” 

Right to the chase, no bullshit. He swallowed, lips twitching between a thin smile for how readily she understood him and a slight frown for the pang of heartache he felt whenever he thought of his niece. “Just… reminded me of how hard it was. To be so… so alone with all’a that.” Shit. He closed his eyes, the lids wrinkling as a wave of emotion made him clench them even more tightly. 

“Hey.” Maria spoke, fingertips coming up to trace the arch of his brow. He opened his eyes at her touch, just in time to see her gently shake her head from side to side. “You’re not alone with it anymore, right?” 

Tommy glanced over to the bedside table. The alarm clock was still waiting to sound, but that wasn’t where his focus fell, straying instead to the other item that stood there. It was a framed photo - one of himself, Joel, and Sarah, the girl wearing a medal around her neck and holding a soccer ball, laughter and happiness frozen on all of their faces, his and Joel’s looking 20 some odd years younger. Though it was under glass now, there were creases that he could still see from where the picture had been bent and folded from living in his pocket the whole trek up from Texas, spots where the color had faded with age and exposure. But it was and always would be one of his most cherished possessions. My family. He brought his focus back to his wife. Our family.  

“No.” He answered. “I’m not.” 

“You should talk to her,” she suggested. “You’re takin’ her through a sweep today, right?” You know I am. He nodded. “Let her know she doesn’t need to be alone with it either. I tried to... When I was showing her her new place? I… ” She sighed, sadness clouding her expression for a second, and Tommy knew that it was because even though she’d never met the girl, Maria also mourned for Sarah. Her heart ached for Tommy and for Joel and for the girl that never got to grow up before their eyes. “I think it would mean more comin’ from you, though.” 

Is that a good idea? He’d been wondering the same thing, but had been unsure of how to broach the topic without opening the book on his brother’s history, too. “You… you think?” 

“I do.” Maria’s tongue flicked out to wet her lips. “You… I’m sure you understand what she’s goin’ through.” 

Tommy sighed. “I dunno, Maria, I- Joel still doesn’t really talk about her much, ‘specially not to people he doesn’t know, and I don’t want to-” 

She didn’t let him continue, her tone not angry but firm as she cut him off. “You lost her, too, Tommy. You went through that pain, too, and I understand you wanting to respect Joel’s space and not wanting to tell his story. I do.” For all the bristling she did towards his brother when they first met, Tommy knew that his wife had come to love Joel. And Ellie. “But you can certainly tell yours. And Tommy?” She paused and he felt her eyes sweep over his face before she continued, letting her fingers comb through his hair. “I think it’ll be good for you to talk about it too, it’s not just for her.” 

He stared back at her in silence for a beat wondering how on Earth she always knew the right thing to say. How she was always able to ground him and guide him, even when he didn’t know he’d started drifting. When he did speak, he blew out a short amused breath, narrowing his eyes. “Where do you get off bein’ right all the damn time, woman? Huh?”

She smiled warmly, faint wrinkles gathering in the corners of her eyes and around the edges of her mouth. “It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it.” He watched the light in her expression shift from comforting to teasing, and then before she even moved, he knew she was about to flick her gaze upwards. “Speaking of tough jobs,” she proved him right, looking up above their heads and using the hand that had been on his chest to point at the ceiling. “I really will get Joel over here to patch that up if you don’t d-” 

His arms enveloped her then, folding her close to his chest so that her laughter was swallowed up as he flipped her onto her back. “You better not say a word to him about that, or-” 

The tinny sound of the alarm clock cut through the rest of his empty threat, and it died on his lips as Maria reached over to silence it. Tapping his arm, she gave him a sleepy smile. “Time to get up, c’mon.” 

Instead of rolling over immediately though, he looked down at the woman who had revived his heart, who had helped him find reasons to keep going, who had made him happier than he ever imagined possible, and before the two of them surrendered to the start of the day, untangling from each other and rising from the bed to tend to their daily responsibilities, he lowered his face to hers and kissed her deeply. 

Pulling back slowly, he nudged the tip of her nose with his. “Thank you.” He leaned forward to brush his lips along her temple, and though his next words were muffled by her skin, he knew she heard them. “You know what for.” 

For loving me. For letting me in. For accepting all the shit I’ve done. For trusting me. For everything. 

She wrapped her arms around him and held him there for the length of a few breaths, then turned her cheek so that she could press it to his bearded one. “Anytime, handsome.” She squeezed, and he heard one more word slip out before she let go. “Always.” 

When she tapped his bicep again, Tommy moved aside so that she could get up, and with a handful of yawns and a few cracks from achy joints, the two of them started their day.

–  –  –  –  

He waited until the two of you had made it out to the turnaround point to say anything that wasn’t directly related to trail patrol protocol. 

Until then, you’d been fairly quiet, only answering his questions and asking the few that you had along the way. Though he’d been focused on assessing your capability to join the patrol team - which he determined you’d be a good fit for - he was also trying his best to gauge what your reaction might be to what he was about to bring up. Because even though he agreed with Maria, the last thing he wanted to do was make you uncomfortable or put you on the spot. This is a big fuckin’ gamble, but… He lifted his eyes from his hands where he was shucking his gloves, bringing them up to watch you sign your name and his in the logbook that sat on the dusty table in the dining room of the safe house. But I think it’s the right move. 

“Under the notes column I just wrote all clear,” you said, using the pen to point at the page with a shrug. “Looks like that’s what other people wrote, so I figured-” 

“Yeah, that’s right.” He nodded, tucking his gloves in his jacket pocket. Using the toe of one boot, he hooked a chair leg and dragged it out before sinking into the seat with a sigh. “You see any infected you just write how many and where and if you took ‘em out or…” He trailed off as you flipped through the log, the pages crinkling as you turned them. 

Your eyes caught on a specific entry and widened slightly, and before he could wonder which it was, you read it aloud. “9/7/2036 - Joel and Tommy - 3 clickers in garage on Frontier Rd. - killed all 3.” Oh, that one. Returning to the current page, you set the pen down like a bookmark and looked up at him as you pulled out a chair for yourself. “Doesn’t sound fun.” 

He blew out a burst of air and shook his head. “It wasn’t.” Because we didn’t see the third one until we were already in there and… He cleared his throat and blinked away the memory. Doesn’t matter now. “It’s not common, runnin’ into that many of ‘em this close to town. But we like to keep it that way so when we can, we put ‘em down.” You nodded, a small furrow deepening in your brow. “If we can’t? Too many or…” He gestured vaguely with one hand. “We do the smart thing, and we log it so we can keep track of where we know they are until we can come up with a plan for dealing with ‘em.”  

You ran your finger over the page of the ledger that you’d just filled out, scanning the previous weeks and months of sweeps. “Makes sense.” 

Tommy knocked his knuckles against the table. “Good. Yeah, it’s pretty straightforward. You’ll always be with a partner. And you always make both of you comin’ back safely a priority. Sound like somethin’ you can be on board with?”  

Taking a breath, you nodded before letting it back out. “Yeah. Definitely. I…” You cleared your throat, swallowing hard. “I can start right away, too. I’m ready.” 

He lifted one eyebrow, watching you closely. She’s lookin’ for distractions so she doesn’t have to sit home alone with… He clicked his tongue. Shit. “Alright,” he agreed. “I’ll get you added to rotation this week. I’m sure there’s someone who could use a day off.” 

Your tongue slipped out to wet your lips. “Yeah. I’ll take whatever shifts don’t coincide with the bakery hours.” 

I did that, too. When I first got here. Spent all my time doin’ repairs and ridin’ trails. So I didn’t have to face any of the shit I was pushing down. 

He said your name and frowned at the way you seemed surprised by the sound of it. “We don’t need you runnin’ yourself into the ground, alright? I’ll get you on the schedule, but -” Now or never. You sat in silence across from him, eyes wider than they’d gone when you’d read about the infected he and Joel dispatched a few months back. “But I want you to know that you don’t have to keep yourself busy all the time.” 

You started to protest, shaking your head, words stumbling out of your mouth. “No, Tommy, it’s… I’d rather, I want-” 

He held up one palm as you went silent again, and he let out a deep breath. “I know what you’re trying to do. Because I spent a long time doin’ the same thing, and I can tell you that all it does is make it harder and draw it out and-” He felt his throat thicken. “And if you don’t work through it, it’ll eat you up inside and-” 

Your head was moving side to side more rapidly as you stood abruptly, the chair legs scraping the floor. “No, you don’t understand, I-” 

Yes I do. He spoke your name again and what he saw on your face when you looked at him made it clear that you needed to hear what he was about to say. “I do understand.” He flinched as he felt it cut sharply through his chest. “I know what it’s like. Losing family that’s way too young to-” Shit. His voice had started to waver, but there was nothing he could do about it. 

Twenty four years later, Tommy could still hear Sarah laughing as he made a joke at Joel’s expense. He could still see her face light up like the damn sun when he would show up at her soccer games. The space she took up in his heart still remembered what it was to be her uncle. 

Your voice was quiet as you spoke, more of an exhale than a whisper. “Tommy… I-” 

No. He knew you were trying to give him an out, trying to tell him that it was fine, that he didn’t have to rehash his pain to help you through yours. But it ain’t fine. And… Maria was right. I need this as much as she does. He didn’t know you well, and he hadn’t known you for long, but he knew the look in your eyes and the weight in your heart because he had seen and felt it in himself. 

Shaking his head, he cut you off and continued, taking care not to say anything that would give away the fact that he was talking about Joel’s daughter. “I… we lost my niece.” Jesus, how long’s it been since I said that out loud to someone? He watched your mouth fall open, your lower lip trembling as you took a deep and shuddering breath, and he nodded, brow creasing heavily. I know. It’s so fuckin’ unfair. “Kid was… I loved that little girl. And when she was taken from us it-” Another dense lump clogged his throat but he pushed through it, words breaking slightly. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, toughest loss I’ve had so I… when I tell you that I understand what you’re goin’ through and that I know what it’s like? It’s not just me sayin’ some shit to make you feel better.” He shook his head. “I know there’s nothin’ I can say that’s gonna make you feel better about losin’ your nephew.  But if you… you should talk about him. Doesn’t have to be to me. Doesn’t have to be now. But… don’t sit with this alone for too long. Alright?” 

I don’t want it to fuckin’ destroy you. Like it did to me for so damn long. Like it did to Joel for even longer. 

You didn’t ask any questions about what he’d said or give any indication that you were angry or offended. You didn’t storm off to find a different room to wait in until it was time to head back to town. You didn’t throw the log book in his face. You just sat there, weighing his words. 

When you did finally break your silence, you did it with one word, and a shaky, tear strained nod. “Alright.” One word, followed by two more and a hitch in your breathing. “Thank you.” 

Just like the night at the community center, Tommy reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and pulled out a clean bandana. Handing it over to you, he gave you what he hoped was an encouraging smile. “Anytime.” 

.

.

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[the-blind-assassin-12]

Most fic writers, after watching TLOU episode 1: opens laptop to write smut and/or fluff

This bitch, after watching TLOU episode 1: opens laptop to write SAD.

[the-blind-assassin-12]

The new chapter of Survivor Blues was a really good read. A lot of people forget about Tommy when they think of that particular loss and it has to be hard for him even all those years later. I like how he talked to Reader and how Maria talked back to him. Being direct is something that does not happen in a lot of fics so it happening here was nice to read.

Anon, come here, I want to give you a big hug. You have no idea how much this means to me. To know that you are enjoying that story - even the parts that don't focus on Joel and Reader - is filling my soul with joy right now.

Putting the rest under the cut so I can be specific without spoilers.

I agree that a lot of people tend to overlook the fact that Tommy also went through losing Sarah. Literally, right alongside Joel. I understand why though - because the plot centers on Joel and Ellie, and for the majority of the story, Tommy is out of the picture. I think that's what makes it easier to forget, or at least not focus on the fact that he went through such an unspeakably traumatic event, too.

That, and the fact that Sarah is Joel's daughter, not his. But you cannot tell me that Tommy didn't have his own special connection and bond with Sarah. You can't tell me that Sarah didn't love spending time with him and that he didn't love it just as much. There is absolutely no way that little girl didn't own a huge corner of his heart. So to me, there's no way to brush his grief and his (misplaced) guilt aside. There's no way to overlook the fact that he was hurting so much for so long.

I truly think that because Tommy and Joel ... i hesitate to say processed because I don't think either of them even started to do that for many years... maybe reacted is a better word here... because they reacted so differently to Sarah's death, and they needed such different things to be able to move on from it, them separating for as long as they did was probably the best thing that could have happened. And I think that Tommy meeting and falling in love with Maria was really what made him able to start his own healing process.

Directness between characters is something that I tend to include in my stories, because I happen to be a pretty straightforward, direct person. I am 35 years old and I don't like to play games or withhold things or dance around subjects. Life is short, and not being upfront about things or drawing things out only wastes precious time in my opinion, and time is not something that characters like Maria, Tommy and to an extent, even though she's not entirely comfortable with them yet, Reader, are willing to waste.

I know that a lot of times in stories, whether they are fanfiction or not, characters being secretive or hiding things or not being entirely truthful is common. And I know that that sort of behavior is common in real live people, too. And I know that when people or characters behave this way, it's usually for a reason - or at least it should be, and not just as a way to add tension or drama. But I also know that there's no way Tommy would be able to watch someone going through what he went through and not want to reach out. I know that Maria wouldn't be able to see the signs in her husband that he's hurting and not want to encourage him to do what he needs to do to help Reader and himself. I know that Reader, for as much as she is still wrestling with the idea of this new life ahead of her, wants to move forward in whatever way she can, so none of them are in a place right now where being indirect would do them any favors.

Thank you again for sending this in, anon. I could talk about these characters and their motives for HOURS... as you can see. And thank you again, endlessly, for reading and supporting my work. You are WONDERFUL!

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Hi!

Number 2 for the writer ask game please!

Love, El

Hi El!! ☺️ Hope you’re having a great weekend so far! Thanks so much for swinging by with this!

2. A character whose POV you’re currently exploring

Most of the things I’ve been working on are in Reader’s POV (Aphelion, Recall, Unfinished).

But I’m also slowly working on an Ellie POV chapter for Survivor Blues that I’m pretty excited about. It’s called Sketching Ghosts, and it includes an Ellie HC that I’ve had for a whole long while now that I’m looking forward to fleshing out. The bulk of it takes place during a gate patrol she has with Reader, and it’s the first time in this story that we see Reader through Ellie’s eyes. They end up having a meaningful moment where Ellie reveals something she hasn’t shared with anyone else yet.

There’s also a joke made at Tommy’s expense, for good measure.

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Hi!! Survivor Blues?? 👀

Hi Angie!! I hope you're having a great week so far. Thank you so much for sending this ask. I am so sorry that it took me forever and a day to answer it.

I know that it's been a long time since I've updated Survivor Blues, but it is literally always on my mind. When I first started writing it I pretty much made peace with the fact that it was going to take a long time to write. I have a very specific idea of how I want it to turn out, and I know I won't be happy unless it's as close to that as possible. So I do apologize for taking long breaks between updates, but I promise it is for the good of the story and I hope it pays off in the long run.

The next part that I will be posting for SB is another of the shorter alternate POV pieces, and the first bit of Joel's POV that we get. It's about halfway done, and I'm hoping to have it up before next weekend. It's called Dead Wood, and here's a little snippet:

By the time Joel got home after a quick stop at the clinic, it was past seven, the house - and Ellie’s garage - standing dark and empty against the beginnings of night. 

She must be out with friends. Good. 

It had taken a few years, but he was finally in a place where her absence didn’t immediately put him on edge. When they first settled into the house on Rancher Street, Joel would insist that Ellie stay at Tommy and Maria’s anytime he was gone overnight. Even the walls and the close knit community couldn’t fully satisfy that need to know that she was safe then. But now a note stuck to the refrigerator with a magnet telling him where she’d gone was more than sufficient. 

Which was exactly what he found when he entered the kitchen. Plucking the piece of paper from the fridge door and leaning against the counter, he read the girl’s hastily scrawled words. 

Joel, 

Not sure when you’re getting back but I might not be here when you do. Staying with some friends tonight and tomorrow. I’ll be home on Tuesday. Movie night - don’t forget!

-Ellie 

He chuckled to himself and shook his head. Like I’d ever forget movie night, kiddo. 

Thank you again for asking about this story!! :)

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Ahh I was so excited when I saw your post!

Dead Wood please and thank you

Hi Jules!! Hope your Thursday is going well. Thanks for sending this in. I’m so friggin glad you’re so excited about this one because so am I.

Dead Wood is going to be one of the interlude pieces in Survivor Blues - since the main story is all told from Reader’s POV, these shorter pieces will all come from other characters’ perspectives, and it’s Joel’s turn. This is going to fall in after part 5, so I need to move my ass and finish that one 😬 but here’s what I can share:

There’s a reason why I let Ellie and Tommy take the wheel first, and hopefully you’ll see why when this is done. (Maria is the next guest appearance, just FYI)

Something BIG happens in part 5 that causes Joel to think about some things

This takes place back in Jackson, but will have flashbacks from various points in his life

The title refers to the way in which you check trees and bushes to see if they’re still alive or if you should cut them down, by cutting the bark or branches to see if there is any green underneath

I took inspiration from a passage from The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, which was one of my favorite childhood books (and movies - honorable mention to A Little Princess & Heidi, too) and since all I have written for this are notes, half finished pieces of dialogue, and a few descriptions, I’ll give you the Secret Garden passage instead:

also I’m pretty sure Dickon was my first fictional boyfriend.

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Survivor Blues - Masterlist

Summary: Sometimes life as a survivor is just as hard as doing the things necessary to survive. Impossible choices, painful losses, brutal conditions - they take a toll and leave scars, some that never fully heal. Twenty-four years after everything goes to shit, you know these things to be true. Having lost everyone who ever mattered to you, you start to wonder what could possibly be left to keep going for. That’s when you meet Joel Miller, a survivor like you, and when he brings you back to Jackson and you see what’s possible there, you wonder whether you found your answer - or if all you’d found is just more to lose.

Warning: language, violence, death, apocalyptic themes, eventual sexual situations - please see individual chapter warnings as these will change, and feel free to ask me before reading if you’re unsure.

I - SPRING 2037

April

Part One : Fight or Flight

Part Two : Welcome to Jackson  - Dawn of the Wolf - Ellie POV 

Part Three : Hey, Sugar  - Similar Scars - Tommy POV 

May 

Part Four : Creatures of Habit 

Part Five : Souvenirs  - Dead Wood - Joel POV

II - SUMMER 2037

June

Part Six: Table Scraps - Sketching Ghosts - Ellie POV - coming soon

Part Seven: Just Dinner - coming soon

July

Part Eight: Local Joint - coming soon

Part Nine: Too Close is Close Enough - coming soon

RELATED ONE SHOTS 

Birthday Wishes 

First Watch

*Additional parts to be added as they are completed and/or titled.

Listen to the song that inspired this series here:

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Survivor Blues

DAWN OF THE WOLF : ELLIE’S POV 

A/N: Hey friends! This is the first of what will be a handful of interludes within the main story of Survivor Blues. Since the main story is all told through Reader’s perspective, these little mini chapters will be used to look at things from another character’s perspective - and who better to start with than Ellie? This is meant to be an interlude between Part Two & Part Three. Catch up on the story here.

Warnings: discussion of danger, mentions of death, gunshots, language, as always -  general canon-typical apocalyptic hell. 

Word Count: 3,159

Joel was later than usual. The sky was already turning orange when Ellie peered out the window in her front door, the last rays of sunlight glinting off of the residual patches of snow on rooftops and lawns, but he and Tommy hadn’t come back from their scheduled trail sweep yet. That doesn’t mean anything bad happened, she reminded herself. Maybe they found supplies or something. Or maybe a tree was down. Letting out a huff, she turned away from the door, took three steps and flopped back down on the couch. It’s only an hour, he’s not that late. He’ll be back. 

She didn’t let herself dwell on the negative possibilities, though they were never far from her mind no matter how safe life in Jackson had proven to be. The cross country journey she’d made with Joel - and all the things they’d endured along the way - had stamped reminders of what the world was really like beyond the gates into her memory, and she knew that those marks were likely indelible. Dwelling on them wouldn’t help. 

Instead, she leaned forward and picked up the plastic DVD case from the coffee table.Turning it over in her hands, she ran her fingertips over the cover. The lamination was bubbled in places, the insert beneath it faded by time, but the title of the movie was still legible, as was the photo of the two main characters. A couple was locked in a passionate embrace, their features set in what she assumed were meant to be expressions of longing. Not for the first time since she found the movie on a run, Ellie snorted to herself. They look constipated.

Prying open the case, the plastic making a satisfying click as she did that made her smile, Ellie recalled the warm, nostalgic tone that Joel’s voice had taken when he first admitted to seeing Dawn of the Wolf in the theaters. “Just some dumb teen movie,” he had called it. She knew that meant that he’d taken Sarah to see it, which meant that dumb or not it was a treasured memory. Things only become valuable when they’re rare, when they’re irreplaceable. She tilted the case, the silver disc inside shining like an iridescent jewel. 

Ellie slid the folded and stapled booklet out from under the curved clips attached to the case opposite the disc, the waxy paper crinkling as she flipped it open to read the summary again - When Gabi falls for the quiet, brooding new student at her school, their burgeoning romance is stunted by just one thing: his curfew.  - Okay, that definitely sounds dumb. She laughed to herself again. I gotta know what you saw in this movie, Sarah. Sticking the booklet back into place, she closed the case with another click and returned it to the rickety coffee table next to the stack of warped and wrinkled Savage Starlight comics she’d amassed. But I guess I can’t be too quick to judge, huh? Everyone’s got their thing. 

All she wanted was to understand Sarah’s thing. All she wanted was to get a glimpse of the the girl she’d started to think of as a sister, the girl who had taught Joel how to be selfless, who had turned him into someone who took his daughter to see a dumb teen movie, into someone who searched high and low for an audio recording of the moon landing for Ellie’s birthday. She wanted to scour that stupid werewolf move for crumbs and clues and ways to connect the few dots she knew of. 

All she wanted was to understand the people who made up her ramshackle little family, even the ones she’d never get to meet. Because she still matters. And I want to know about her. 

It surprised her, at first, when Joel had agreed to this particular film for the first movie night they had planned in months. She wasn’t sure how he would respond to the suggestion, but he’d done so with a quiet chuckle and a nod, one hand coming up to grip the bottom of his chin as he answered with “You’re gonna hate it, but alright, Ellie.” 

She was relatively sure that even if the movie was absolutely terrible, there was no way for her to hate it. 

But she wouldn’t know until she watched it, and that wouldn’t happen without Joel. Eyes darting to the clock on the far side of the small room, she noted that one hour was stretching closer to two. Where the fuck is he? Getting up again, she crossed back to the door to peek outside and across the yard at Joel’s house. The kitchen light wasn’t on, and when she shifted her angle to see more of the house, she noticed that the living room was also dark as were the upstairs windows, meaning that he still wasn’t home. What’s taking so long? That whole route should only take five hours, tops. Why aren’t they back yet? 

Before panic could rise, Ellie reminded herself that she had seen Joel and Tommy in action together - that she knew that the two of them were more than capable of handling potential threats on their own and that together they functioned like a machine. She reminded herself that since the snow was still melting, the trails were likely a mess and that the two men were taking it slow so as not to injure their horses in the soft mud. She reminded herself that if there was truly a cause for concern that Maria would have rounded up the other patrol members to set up a search party, and no one had come knocking on her door. And if Maria’s not worried, I shouldn’t be either.  

Even so, she couldn’t sit still and alone in her garage-turned-apartment any longer without thinking of all the worst case scenarios. Pulling a sweatshirt over her head, she grabbed the DVD case from the table, plucked her keys from the hook near the door and headed over towards Joel’s house. Guess I’ll get started on dinner. Their plan had been to eat while they watched the movie, the way they had started doing every Sunday night when they first came back to settle in Jackson. Been... a while, though. Typically, when they ate together Ellie let Joel handle the cooking. He was better at it than she was, and Ellie knew that he also enjoyed it. Like tuning his guitar or repainting the porch railing, the simple, mundane task of preparing food was something that Joel found peace in, because it meant as real a return to normalcy as possible.  But she needed the distraction and she figured that even if it wasn’t a gourmet meal, Joel would be hungry enough after his long day outside the town walls that he’d appreciate whatever she was able to cobble together. As long as I don’t burn the house down. With a groan, she climbed the steps and pulled open the back door. 

Twenty minutes later Ellie had located and peeled two potatoes, cutting them into chunks and dropping them into a small pot of water to boil. As she opened the refrigerator she let out a sigh of relief at the sight of the red topped tupperware, what looked to be two cuts of duck breast marinating in herbs and oil inside it,  meaning that she wouldn’t have to worry about properly seasoning the meat. Oh, fuck yeah! Grinning, she pulled out the round container and shut the door with her elbow. He must’ve done this yesterday. These are gonna be so damn good.

By the time the potatoes had come to a boil she had the duck in a skillet. Using the wooden spatula from the caddy on the center island, she slid the utensil under the meat and checked that she wasn’t charring it beyond recognition. Please don’t suck. She had watched Joel and Maria cook on stove tops plenty of times, but this was by far the most complicated thing she had attempted to cook on her own. Her whoop of pride mixed with the hissing sound of the uncooked side hitting the hot cast iron as she flipped it, and she let out a satisfied laugh. “Look at that! I’m the duck master!”  

Over the sound of the fat rendering and her own celebration for not ruining the meal, she hadn’t heard the heavy footsteps coming up the front steps or the creak of the door as it opened. But when the sizzle died down, she heard the familiar snicker of Joel’s laughter. Spinning away from the stove, she found him leaning in the doorway between the foyer and the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest. “Well everything outside is thawin’ out but you in here cookin’ dinner?” He clicked his tongue and tilted his head. “Must mean Hell’s about to freeze over.” 

Ellie narrowed her eyes and gave him a sarcastic “ha, ha.” Quickly scanning his face and upper body, she didn’t see any signs of trouble out on the trails. There were no new stains on his coat, no fresh scratches or cuts on his face, no blood on his knuckles. He doesn’t look hurt. The relief she felt when she found the prepped duck was nothing compared to knowing that he was alright. And that means Tommy is, too. “Here I am trying to do something nice for you, and you have to be a jerk about it.” She smirked and moved to lean against the counter.

He shrugged, head shaking slightly. “You know me.” Ellie rolled her eyes and muttered a yeah as Joel’s attention went to what was in the pan. Pointing at her perfectly seared duck, he drew his eyebrows together, a crease cutting between them. “How’d you know that was for tonight and I wasn’t savin’ it, huh?” 

At that, Ellie huffed out a laugh. “Because I know you, Joel.” 

He chuckled in response. “Yeah, alright, you got me there.” 

Yeah, I know. She cleared her throat and turned to check the status of the potatoes. “So, uh… what took so long today?” The wooden spatula stabbed easily through the softened white cubes. Oh, shit. These are done. She reached out to shut that burner off, turning the dial to kill the flame beneath the pot. “Run into anything out there?” 

As she turned to face him again, she saw his mouth turn down into a half frown, the man letting out a long breath. “Yeah, we… nothin’ happened, but we ran into someone. Up at one of the ridgeview houses?”

Despite the fact that one burner was still lit, Ellie felt a chill slide down her spine at the word someone. Does that mean they were attacked? Did they find someone who… Did he have to-  “What? Who? Was it someone fr-” 

Joel held up his palms and relaxed his facial expression. “Woah, easy, I said nothin’ happened.” Ellie hadn’t realized that her grip on the utensil in her hand had tightened as much as it had, but she eased up at Joel’s request. He sighed and stretched his shoulders. “Why don’t you finish what you’re doin’ here, duck master,” he lifted one brow, “I’m gonna go get cleaned up and I’ll tell you all about it over dinner, alright?” His eyes moved to the thin plastic DVD case sitting on the counter. “And then we got a movie to watch.”  

Ellie nodded. “Yeah,” she agreed, “alright.” Doesn’t sound like nothing though. She didn’t push back, Joel disappearing up the stairs as she finished searing the meat and draining the potatoes. Sounds like… something. She chewed at her bottom lip, trying to figure out what he meant and why he’d frowned when he said it, but then reminded herself of the reason she’d come over to cook in the first place - a distraction - and she refocused on the task at hand. I wonder if Sarah knew how to cook…

She’d have to ask Joel. Another time. 

By the time the food was ready and plated, the pot, pan and wooden spatula sitting in the sink, Joel’s footsteps could be heard descending the staircase. “Smells good, Ellie,” he called as he made his way back into the kitchen. “I woulda done that, but I’m glad I don’t have to wait. So thank you.” 

She scoffed. “Yeah, I was getting pretty hungry so I figured you would be, too.” Pulling open one of the drawers, she took out the requisite cutlery while Joel grabbed glasses from the cabinet to fill them with water. “So I hope this doesn’t taste like shit.” 

He laughed, handing her one of the glasses and picking up one of the plates. “I’m sure it won’t. You did good, kiddo.” With that, he turned towards the living room, Ellie following, the movie tucked into the pouch pocket of her hoodie, her dinner in her hands. 

“So,” she took a seat on the couch, setting her plate and glass on the scuffed wooden coffee table as Joel sunk into the recliner on the other side of the room, “what happened out there?” She sniffed and started cutting into the hunk of meat on her plate. 

Joel sighed. “You really ain’t gonna let me even take a bite before you make me answer, huh?” He arched one eyebrow, looking over at her as he began to cut into his own food. Nope. Ellie shrugged, matching his expression and lifting one eyebrow. So spill it. “Alright, then.” He set his plate on the small side table, the ceramic meeting the wood with a clunk, and Ellie sat up straighter. “Tommy and I went out and cleared the Teton Route. Standard early spring crop of infected roamin’ in the valleys, nothin’ we weren’t expecting to find. Put ‘em down nice and quick.” 

“Ugh, good.” Ellie scowled. “I’m on that trail with Jesse next week. The fewer of those things we have to deal with the better.” 

“Well, you’re welcome, then.” He nodded in her direction. “Should be a breeze.” 

Ellie snorted sarcastically. “Sure. Just your typical patrol for bandits and cannibals and-” 

“Alright, smartass, you know what I meant.” He let his smirk fall into a small chuckle, but there was something not quite right about it. What aren’t you telling me, Joel? As though he could read her mind - or probably my face, she thought, well aware that she was far too expressive to be subtle - he continued recounting his trail run. “Anyway, we were on our way back, ‘bout an hour or so out, and we heard gunshots comin’ from up on the ridge.” 

Ellie sucked in a breath, eyes widening with each blink. “Oh, shit.” 

“Yeah,” he agreed, blowing out a breath. “So Tommy’n I decided to go check it out, make sure it wasn’t somethin’ we had to worry about.” 

Routine trail sweeps had two main functions - to keep the passageways as clear from new undergrowth or fallen branches as possible to ensure that there were accessible routes in, out and around the town, and to take care of any rogue clickers or other infected that might otherwise roam too close to Jackson for comfort. But Ellie knew that there were other reasons for the regularly scheduled runs - to handle any human threats before they came close enough to hit the dam, and though Maria had said that it used to happen with much more frequency than it did now, they also served as rescue missions of sorts, with the patrol members using their discretion to bring survivors back to town. But he said they heard gunshots so… what happened? 

“Well what was it?” She blurted the question, scrunching her lips together afterwards as though she could change the speed with which it left them. 

“Got up there’n found a cluster of dead infected out in front of a house,” he shook his head, “but didn’t see who shot the gun.” He sighed and used one hand to scratch the back of his neck. “So we had to go inside, see what was what.” He stared blankly at his knee, clearing his throat before he continued, voice slightly strained when he did. “Found a woman in one’a the bedrooms.” 

“Oh, fuck. Was she…” Ellie winced. Was she dead? Did she get bit? Did she… 

“No.” He looked up, head moving side to side once. “No, she was alive. Is alive.” He nodded. “Brought her back with us. She’s down at the community center talkin’ to Maria right now actually.” 

“Holy shit, you guys saved her life!” Why does he seem… upset though? 

“Yeah,” he let out a long, slow breath. “I think we did.” 

“Joel?” Ellie tilted her head to the side, sitting forward and resting her elbows on her knees. “What-” 

He narrowed his eyes. “She was just… real low.” He dropped the arm that was still behind his head, that hand absently going to his watch, palm pressed to the shattered face and fingers wrapping around his wrist. “Reminded me of -” His eyes closed for a beat. “Of what it was like when I was alone. Before I got to Boston.” 

Oh. That time in his life wasn’t one that Ellie had heard much of, and she doubted that she was about to now. There were some things that she knew he was still wrestling with from those years. She had some, too, so she understood. “Well…” she swallowed, unsure of what to say next. “Well, she’s… if she stays then she won’t be alone anymore.” And you did that. 

At that, Joel’s features softened, one cheek pulling up into something close to a grin. “Yeah.” He nodded and let out a sigh. “So,” his hand left his wrist to smack lightly against his kneecap. “Anyway, that’s why I am late for movie night, now can we please eat? This smells delicious and I’m starvin’.” 

That made her beam with pride. Even though he seasoned it, all I did was… fuck it. I’m the duck master. “Yeah,” she answered. “But,” standing from the couch, she produced Dawn of the Wolf from her sweatshirt pocket. “Lemme get this goin’ too.” 

Joel laughed around a mouthful of food as she moved towards the tv. “Don’t be disappointed now,” he swallowed what he was eating as Ellie pushed the tray back into the DVD player, the device making an audible spinning sound when she pressed play. “Remember, the girl doesn’t get… how’d you say it?” 

She turned to take her place back on the couch, reaching for her own plate. “Totally gutted?” 

“Yeah,” he took a sip of his water, using the back of his hand to wipe his mouth. “That was it.” 

“I still think that’s kind of a bummer,” she stabbed a piece of duck and brought it to her mouth, shrugging as she bit down and tasted her handiwork. Oh that’s not too bad. Maybe panic cooking is my thing. “But, let’s see what these werewolves are all about.”

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Thank you for reading! If you would like to be added to or removed from the tags for this or any of my stories, please feel free to let me know! You can also fill out the form on my masterlist!

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