#surrounded by lovely things
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something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.
not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.
you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.
but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.
you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.
but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.
you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.
you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?
you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.
you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!
you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"
#this is very obviously about my battle with#ptsd#but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery#i was thinking about the 'comes back wrong' trope and i was like. oh no i have feelings about this bc i have mental illness#and once i stopped masking - i was WRONG. i was different#here's the good news: i am now INNUNDATED with love. fucking swimming in it. excelling at it. the people who stayed#learned my new self. my new different body and how i am different but i am trying. they have held me so tightly#and my life no longer feels quiet. it is not based in my suffering. it feels like i have been growing a tree in my chest#and now it is flowering.#it is so lovely to be surrounded by people who have said - oh! you cut off so many branches i was worried you weren't the same. but now...#... this is just a new you. and i love you. and i love that you're different and happy.#(but yeah also im nb so i was absolutely influenced by Trans things)
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Rewatched the scenes and just noticed this.
Husk pointing a finger at Alastor, touching him, im pretty sure semi shoving him with rather disrespectful words, and all Alastor does at that point is giggle, amused that his "pet" is daring to talk back
Vs.
Mimzy, an old friend from even when he was alive, pointing at him, teasingly reminding him of exactly what kind of person he was.
And Alastor removing the finger off of him.
AND HE DOES THIS WHILE (tho he wouldn't admit it) TAKING HUSK'S ADVISE(after he terrorized the poor guy)
My MAN what is going on in ur head
#love how you have to gather bits and pieces of his thoughts from the lil things bc this mtherfcker only has 3 emotions available for display#thats charm. homicide. and Scar's “im surrounded by idiots”#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor#hazbin hotel husk#hazbin husk#husk#husker#hazbin hotel husker#hazbin husker#mimzy#hazbin mimzy#hazbin hotel mimzy#hazbin#bloopnik rambles
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My poor broken commander, good soldiers follow orders indeed and you were a damn good soldier (even though you’re an asshole, i still love you 💔)
Firmly on the side that believes Fox was under orders from Palpatine to kill Fives. There’s no way any of the vod’e would kill their brothers unless they literally had no choice. He does what he can to honour every brother whose blood is on his hands, directly or indirectly, on the tattoos on his back.
#i know vader eventually kills him#rest in power commander#also yes those are lichtenberg scars#fox is such a tragic character to study#wonder who gave them to him#i would hate to be in his position#stuck on corascant#surrounded by people who see you as a thing#light years from your brothers#💔#i miss this grumpy asshole#commander fox#commander cc-1010#cc 1010#clone commander fox#the clone wars#tcw#tcw fox#clone commander#i love him your honor#vode#star wars headcanons#star wars
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‘wow dr minyard how are you so calm and patient even with the insane ones?’
‘i’ve had practice.’
#impressive amount of skill juggling premed with andrew and a murder case and neil fucking josten and kevin mf day and the mafia and#this man has the patience of a fucking saint#patients will tell him the most unhinged disturbing questionable things and he’d go damn u should my brother’s man#stitched up a shot man in the middle of the hospital waiting are because it was urgent and he’d done it twice before w neil#handled alcoholism with such professionalism you’d think he worked in a rehab center (he helped kevin w his addiction)#i’d love to see the cases he can handle with unnatural ease just because of the insane fucking college experience he acquired#i’d write something surrounding this but i can’t write and i don’t have enough med knowledge#i love aaron minyard btw in case you couldn’t tell#aaron minyard#the foxhole court#all for the game#aftg#neil josten#kevin day#tfc#andrew minyard#twinyards#blue's bs
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uncle aaron in spiderverse fucks me up so badly because here is a man who has done terrible, unforgivable things, and he loves his nephew very much
#augh... augh#like he's selfish and he chooses the wrong path in order to stay afloat but this#n his love for miles r not mutually exclusive#the whole thing about how he wanted miles 2 look up to him what if I explode#srry no other iteration of him holds a candle esp the comics when it comes 2 his death#I am an itsv Aaron Davis apologist man#and the lack of content surrounding Aaron n miles makes me so sad ToT#itsv#atsv
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Prompt 197
“Guys look, I got us pet rocks!”
“That’s nice- Danny, why are the rocks moving?”
“Ectoplasm. Obviously. They eat bad emotions, isn’t that cool?!”
“They aren’t going to get that big though, right? I mean, we’re moving to the countryside but still.”
“I mean, they shouldn’t? Dang, maybe I should have asked Dora more questions…”
#Dcxdp#Dpxdc#Prompts#Team Phantom moves to Smallville#With their pet rocks that do in fact grow#There’s a giant stone crab with part of a forest on its back#And a ray-thing buried under their fields napping until lightning storms#And a meteorite whale thing#to name the biggest 3#Clark LOVES visiting the neighbors whenever he comes back home#He gets swarmed by the pet rocks#He also eventually gets permission to take a couple of tiny ones to give to his friends#Bruce is staring blankly at the Very Tiny gargoyle staring up at him with bits of black ecto lichen mimicking his cowl#Why yes the pet rocks are indeed influenced by the person they’re with and their surroundings
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growing up with a perpetually anxious primary caregiver is such a mindfuck. that shit will rewire your nervous system
#not a shitpost#i get that parenthood and modern life in general is extremely anxiety inducing#and that anxiety is a common mental health issue and anxiety disorders exist and do not disqualify you from being a loving parent#but i am begging you PLEASE do not project your anxiety onto your kids#especially younger kids#your job is to make your kids feel safe and secure. that is a primary requirement#that doesn't mean you can't be anxious!#but just like being angry doesn't mean you're allowed to yell at your kids or slam doors or break things#being anxious doesn't mean you are allowed to surround your kids with your own fear and stress or teach them to share your anxieties#your job is to be a comforting nurturing parental figure. that means projecting comfort and love#even when it is hard! even when you are tired or angry or scared!#which is a damn hard job! and you won't get it right all the time!#but dammit babes you gotta TRY#kids deserve to feel safe and comfortable in their daily lives#you CANNOT be teaching them to expect catastrophe lurking around every corner
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was just talking to an irl friend who used to be really active in spn back in 2014. she knows and respects my beliefs (wincest) as i respect hers (d*stiel) but i was laughingly telling her about all the samgirls posting about jared at ACL and she said “huh, weird i cant believe there are actually samgirls out there” and i stared at her…. frozen…. our experiences ….., could not be more different….. i am surrounded by samgirls …. they are all i know.., i think i probably exclusively follow samgirls…. what is going on over at d*stiel headquarters
#cannot imagine not being surrounded by samgirls#i am a deangirl myself but i love sam he is so tragic#one thing i have never understood is many samgirls’ defensiveness over sam#it always seemed preemptive to me and as i’ve literally never seen the other side of spn i didn’t know …#i didn’t know he was so disdained#like my friend is in genuine shock people like sam#and i’m like ? the show is literally about him ….#so i apologize to the samgirls i didn’t know u were struggling like that#all i’ve known is peace and love on planet wincest#tell the d*stiel girls i said to SHUT UP and stop being mean#wincest#samdean#my post
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REINVENT
YOURSELF
tumblr HATES my 44.1mb image swag so it has SO MUCH COMPRESSION and downsizing here. :') peep the actual intended size & quality (or as good as i could get it exported)
post-return Q!Tubbo :] Tee hee.
un hamburgesa para tubbo (he lookied ungry)
#qsmp#qsmp fanart#tubbo fanart#qsmp tubbo#yippeeee :D#i forgor what other tags i usually use for my art on this blog. fngbnfdj. oh well.#WHY DID THE WATER TURN INTO LAVA [SHAKES CCTUBBO] WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT HELLO. DID ANYBODY ELSE NOTICE THAT BC I DID. IS IT FROM#THE MACHINE OVERHEATING? HE WAS BURNING WHEN HE SURFACED or is it a less physical creative choice...#this is why theyre surrounded by water and lava (and also bc of dying by the ocean monument ^w^ teehee)#if you notice all the details i had in mind when i drew this ily foreva and eva#i drew this over the course of a few days after the revival/return stream but i never posted it IM SHY OK#i wonder how long i spent on it... must be over 6 hrs atleast? considering i also spent like an hour touching things up b4 posting rn..#nice. im in my hours-long compositions era :D smiles irl so happily i love it#<- usually never spends longer than like 1-2 hrs on one drawing#i shared this with a couple of qsmp-enjoying friends of mine and they convinced me to let it fly free ksksks. FOR THE TUBBLINGS o7#also if anybody has a better image sharing option lmk. DHBFK.#blood#ALMOST FORGOT THAT. THERE IS BLOODIN HERE#CONTAINS BLOOD.#guy whos flehs and bone#debatably#art#months later im slapping on that art tag HFHFHG i forgor
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#the terror#the terror amc#james fitzjames#my posts#my gifs#I've gotta finish giffing the other scene but#everyone's reactions in this scene are so interesting#but as usual on my tumblr it's jfj posting hours#he's not doing the stare yet here (though he does later)#but his body language this scene is really telling#he's holding his hand so tightly#I love crozier and his whole arc but#he's so scary in this scene and the surrounding ones#and I remember reading some great meta#about how this whole thing isn't just a punishment#for the three who are being lashed#but for everyone who had to witness it#and it does come across not just as a valid punishment#but a message to everyone present#not to cross crozier or question his orders#and although fitzjames hasn't outright challenged crozier much#he is the one who does so the most and in the most personal ways#this is the same episode with the whole conversation about sophia#in fact was it even the same day?#okay this is enough tags but#I have many terror-brained thoughts
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es rarepair week 2024 day 1 | AU/future
lil ghostic au of mine!!! yuzuru and the rest of fine are long since trapped souls in an abandoned mansion of which rst come across while looking for shelter during a storm :] it doesnt um. particularly end well
#doodles#duck scribbles#es rarepair week 2024#midoyuzu#yuzumido#i Was gonna do the stardew au but then it made me kind of sad. actually this is even worse in that aspect but im in a mood#enstars#midori finds his diary of which details the life of and events leading to yuzuru and the rest of the residents' deaths and w it slowly#becomes able to see/interact with (to an extent) yuzurus spectre himself#midori takamine#yuzuru fushimi#ghostswere initially rather aggressively hospitable in order to keep lost strangers there to eventually die and become a lost soul like the#but most w time grew to just want to be freed and be able to pass on in peace. more hostile ghosts become vague wisps of what they were bef#ore once theyve lost their tether to humanity but those with a strong will still have more control and effect on their surroundings somewha#yuzuru specifically was determined to maintain the mansion and has for decades and maybe centuries kept it orderly hence the clarity of his#spirit!!! having been one of those hostile spirits himself before has moved on to gently guiding guests away from the more dangerous areas#and assisting them so as to ensure their safe leave#they look for a way to break the curse on the mansion together so as to free all their souls!! unfortunately for midori she fell in love w#someone who has long since died 👍#the lil ballroom scene was a funny thing i dreamed about a while ago actually. i like to think watarus ghost put on some music unprompted#oh and since the rest of rst is also there technically you can expect chiaki is Not having a very good time
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that Echo Flower button up that Sans is wearing in one of your drawings would be real cool if it was to exist (unless it was made of polyester) as the design is well made.
Image for reference:
I'm glad you think it'd be cool!!! I also think it'd be really cool. I'd LOVE to make it real but AHH finding manufacturers for non polyester button ups has been driving me crazy egfjdbdk
But I mean... if people are interested, I'll see what I can do in the future 👀
#i know there are print on demand manufacturers that do polyester button ups#but id ALSO like non polyester ones. lol#this also reminds me i gotta finish the other fashion lineups ahfjfmngkebk#anyway i love making fabric patterns id be totally down to make more 🥺#but also im not sure abt the details surrounding making this sorta merch for ut!#the only thing regarding clothing was from a WHILE back#hm.#i would really like to make this real though 🥺 itd be so cool..........................#id absolutely LOVE to make apparel. i love designing clothes#velwy.txt#inbox#anon
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Gift (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Gaster#Papyrus#Second go around! Maybe he can talk about it with the one who actually got the scarf!#Or not haha - better to just let some things lie#Though ♪ Of course Papyrus would recognize Gaster's efforts ♥ His emotional intelligence hhhh <3#He knows everything there was Gaster's initially and so reading between the lines of Gaster telling him he can have it#It's a gift! Properly! That deserves praise!! Good job you did something nice!#I also deeply love when Gaster is first pulled back out how one of his first little smiles is at Papyrus being silly#Gaster is also very prideful! It's cute to see his son being self-aggrandizing in that kid way! Seeing him enjoy it is so nice ;;#Also I know that Papyrus is still shorter than Gaster I just really like the idea of him being almost his dad's height ;;#He's so grown up now! He's grown into such a beautiful adult <3#It does make sense that he's still shorter considering the whole ''torn in half'' thing ahh#Maybe Gaster is leaning down just let me have this lol#I also ended up doing a lot of digital reconstruction on this one!#Especially panels 2 through 4 - I actually pulled out my tablet to draw in the bits that got cut off by the surrounding doodles#I wasn't as careful with my spacing with these oops :P But I think they turned out pretty style-matched :)#Cute lads happy <3
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Gradient/color/tooling testing with big thing to swing around. Kind of an add-on to this?
#Axe? I guess? Was originally a sort of spear - polearm#I love making him swing around things twice his size I guess#my art#art#hazbin hotel#vox hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vox#Mostly an excuse to draw him surrounded by electricity
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I actually thought of this prompt like forever ago and i rly wanted to write a whole story for it but i couldn't think of a plot that would stick to it and make sense without adding too many outside elements and in my opinion over saturating the story. BUT i do have a bunch of scenes of danny and damian in my head about this also also some danny and other batfam members.
So anyways your order has been delivered...
original prompt: Gotham Academy's Mentorship Program
scene two: tim's arch nemesis
table of contents
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scene 01: damian's not-so-very-bad day
“Father, you wanted to speak with me.” Damian said, trugging into his Father’s study late into the afternoon per Pennyworth’s behest.
Father looked up from his work at Damian’s arrival, Drake gave him a look of annoyance that Damian returned with a sneer. “Damian.” Father greeted as he reached Father’s work station. “I spoke with your principal earlier today.” Damian huffed and crossed his arms in defiance at whatever accusation he was about to be handed, “Put your frown away, you're not in trouble.” Father chuckled lightly.
Damian frowned. He was not a child, he did not need to be treated like one.
“There’s a mentorship program at your school.” Father started, Damian raised an intrigued brow at him.
Perhaps Father had succeeded in seeing his potential, “Well I suppose I wouldn’t mind mentoring one of the many underlings at the so-called academy.” Damian sighed, letting his arms fall to his side, as he looked up at his Father.
Father blinked at him, processing what he had said, then glanced at Drake who looked like a fraying rope length away from bursting into laughter. “The mentorship program… it’s for you.” Father tried hesitantly.
“Yes.” Damian nodded in understanding.
There was an uncomfortable silence from Father.
“He means that you're the one getting mentored.” Drake laughed at him, shoulders shaking.
Damian turned to Father. But the denial never came. “What!” Damian couldn’t help scream in outrage. “You want me to get mentored by some hillbilly civilian who can't tell a katana from a wakizashi?” He slammed his hands on Father’s table.
Father looked at him with disapproval, but said nothing, not caring enough to discipline Damian.
“Hillbilly civilian.” Drake croaked from the corner of the room, draping himself dramatically over one of the side sofas.
“You’re to meet him first thing tomorrow when you get to school. Here’s his student profile, if you're interested.” Father handed him a singular paper.
“Father I do not need-”
“It’s already been arranged Damian, atleast give it a try.” Father said with a sigh, picking up his files again in a silent dismissal of Damian.
The paper crumpled slightly as Damian stormed to his room.
Daniel James Fenton.
“Let’s see how long you last.” Damian eyed the picture of the smiling teen.
---
“Have a good day at school Masters Tim, Thomas, and Damian.” Pennyworth bid, as they all got out of the car.
“Later, Alfred.” Thomas waved at the butler as he drove off.
They all walked in the same direction to enter their classrooms, when Drake stopped him in his path. “Ohoho, and where do you think you’re going Damian?” he asked cheekily.
“Tsk.” He was hoping to be able to make it to his class before the others noticed, then continue to evade the principal and other faculty if need be required. To be foiled so early into his plan, furthermore by Drake, was humiliating.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in the principal’s office?” Drake continued to smother his victory over Damian.
“I was just on my way.” He huffed, turning around annoyed. Drake and Thomas snickered as he retreated.
Damian knocked on the familiar oak doors. “Come in.” Mr. Carson called from the other side. Damian entered, and plopped down on the same chair he sat in every time he had been sent here. “Ah Damian. Goodmorning.” He waited for a reply, but when he realized he wouldn’t be getting one he continued on, “Mr. Fenton should be here any minute, but I’m glad you were able to come here on your own accord.” Mr. Carson talked as he hung up his jacket and took a seat at his chair.
Damian could only watch the seconds tick by as he sat in that office. He wondered absentmindedly if Fenton didn’t show up would he be free. The knock at the door decimated all hopes Damian had for that.
“Ah, that must be Mr. Fenton.” Mr. Carson mused out loud, “Come in.”
Fenton entered the room hesitantly, greeting Mr. Carson with a small smile. Fenton was a scholarship student and held reasonable grades so his intellect was not to be underestimated, though often simply being able to score well on tests did not translate to having adequate life skills. Fenton was taller than Drake, but still average, dark hair, tanned skin, gray-blue eyes. When Damian’s supposed mentor looked at Damian for the first time since he had entered the room, Damian couldn’t help but feel like he was caught in a stare off with a beast.
The way Fenton examined his surroundings reminded Damian of the League of Assassins. Careful, analytical and tactical. All things Damian had excelled in. But there was something different about Fenton than what Damian had often seen in the League. His eyes were softer than those that had trained Damian. Damian couldn’t understand why his eyes looked like that.
Fenton smiled at him in a way that was likely meant to be kind, “Hi, you must be Damian. I’m Danny.” He stuck out his hand for Damian to shake.
Damian did not take the hand, instead he turned to principal Carson, “When can I leave?” He asked board, subtly eying Fenton’s reaction in his peripheral vision.
“We have to iron out the finer details and the both of you will be free to go until we see each other for our weekly check in every Friday.” Principal Carson started, “Mr. Fenton why don’t you take a seat.
Undeterred by Damian’s lack of interest, Fenton took a seat. Mr. Carson explained to Fenton his responsibilities as a mentor and what would be expected of him, Fenton in turn nodded along attentively. After his long explanation of the whole program the both of them were free from his office, and excused from classes until lunch to “get to know each other better”.
Damian translated that to having until lunch to show Fenton that he was out of his depth and have him running with his tail between his legs.
“So…” Fenton drawled trying to buy time to think of something adequate to say no doubt, “How about we go to the library to hang out?” Fenton offered.
Damian simply huffed in agreement as they made their way to a pair of sofas tucked between the many rows of books.
“So, Damian, uh, what do you like to do after school?” Fenton asked unoriginally.
Damian turned so he could meet Fenton eye-to-eye. “Train.” He said honestly. If he plans on scaring him off then leaning into the superficial things he learned in the League would do him well.
“Oh, you do sports?” Fenton asked inquisitively. Damian was momentarily thrown off by his show of genuine interest in his personal life, but Damian quickly collected himself. Fenton was merely putting on an act to get him to open up, Damian would be a fool to fall for it.
“No.” He scoffed at the thought of sports, “I train for battle,” He made sure to put as much confidence as he could in his voice. Oftentimes in the past when he had told his peers of his activities they had brushed him off and laughed at him, Damian wondered if Fenton would have a similar reaction.
“Hardcore.” Fenton nodded in awe.
Damian blinked, “You believe me?” He found himself whispering.
“Well, yeah.” Fenton responded as if it were the most obvious thing, in fact, he seemed confused as Damian’s bafflement.
Damian quickly collected himself, “Well of course you should believe me it’s the truth, I’m a highly skilled blade user.” He nodded to himself.
“Blade user, huh? Do you prefer katanas or wakizashi? Or a classic long sword maybe.” Fenton asked eying Damian as if it would help him find the correct answer.
“Katanas obviously.” Damian scoffed, “They’re incredibly balanced, strong, and give you incredible control over your attacks. Wakizashi are also a good option if you prefer close combat and if you’re fighting in an area with a lot of obstacles.” Fenton hummed and nodded at his explanation, and Damian found himself continuing, “Long swords are originally from the Bavaria and Switzerland regions during the medieval times-”
#danny and damian#damian al ghul#damian wayne#danny fenton#dpxdc#Gotham Academy's Mentorship Program#Mentor Danny#danny: wow this kid seems kinda nervous let me send him some chill vibes#damian: why do i keep talking???#and yes danny asking about the swords was a callback to what damian said to prove that danny is going to live up what damian needs him to b#but tbh we all knew that#is principal carson clockwork??? who knows#damian: violence is an option#danny after years of being surrounded by ghosts that will tackle him to the floor and break bones as a way to say wassup bestie:#aww what a cute baby ghost talking about baby ghost things#tim loves trolling damian#actually i love trolling damian and am living vicariously thru him#damian is not a reliable narrator#damian is also rly dramatic#he is best boy <3#kinda forgot duke isn't suppose to be here yet but#my story my timeline#danny mentorship au
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kim seokjin, according to @aprylynn happy birthday apryl! ♡♡♡
#aprylynn#bts#btsedit#btsgif#dailybts#btsdaily#jin#seokjin#kim seokjin#dailybangtan#userbangtan#trackofthesoul#usersan#heyryen#annietrack#userpat#tuserandi#raplineuser#userdimple#rjshope#ksjedit#***#!!!!!!! happy birthday queen apryl !!!!!!!!#i just wanted to do something for you since you've done so much for me with your kindness and your support#and you deserve all the nice things in the entire world#and while i try to find all those nice things i can at least give u jins face u kno#and i had to use ur iconic tags bc you always make me laugh every single time i go thru my notes#ur just like me fr fr ur always in my brain i swear ;o;#ANYWAYS !!!!!! i hope u have the best day and i hope you are loved and cherished and that you get yummy treats and lots of presents#and are surrounded by people that love you and adore you uwu
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