#surgery discussions
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I want to comment as someone who got a hysterectomy at 33 (and am now 35).
Why did I do it?
I was diagnosed at 26 with a rare form of uterine pre-cancer called Atypical Polyploid Adenoma (APA) and had recurrent tumors in my uterus with some transformation of the cells indicating a chance of high malignancy. Meaning there was a higher chance that I could develop an aggressive form of uterine cancer. Over the course of almost a decade, I visited my gynecologist, oncologist, and GP several times a year. I had annual transvaginal ultrasounds (where a wand is shoved inside your vagina to take pictures of your uterus and ovaries) along with several D/Cs. A D/C is where a doctor shaves a section of the impacted uterine tissue with a laser--think Darth Vader lasering out your uterus.
I also had several biopsies of my uterus taken. Uterine biopsies are some of the most targeted pain I have ever felt. The doctor has to open your cervix to get into the uterus. This is often completed while the patient is awake and without any pain relief. After my first one I was crying so hard my oncologist was concerned I might be having a panic attack.
Could you have just had D/Cs for the rest of your fertility?
I could have, but the stress, anxiety, and pain was getting to me. As any patient with cancer will tell you, the anxiety is excruciating. I also had serious conversations with my oncologist about the likelihood that I could get pregnant (many of my tumors grew on my fundus, where an egg would implant) and the chance that the hormonal changes could trigger that transformation into cancer. To me, it wasn't worth the risk. That may not be true of other patients.
What was the prep like?
I went through an oncology department so my prep was to fill in many, many legal documents that said I understood that my fertility would be gone and could not come back. Otherwise I faced no pushback from my surgical team.
The prep for the surgery was the same as is for any other same day procedure. No food after midnight, bath with unscented soap.
What does a hysterectomy feel like?
You're under general anesthesia so, at the time nothing. I elected to have laparoscopic surgery and my surgeon used a DaVinci robot. Which, is SO FUCKING COOL. They asked as they were wheeling me in if I had questions and I was like !!! YES I want to know more about the robot. There is an option to have a vaginal hysterectomy where the uterus is pulled through an incision in the vagina.
What's recovery like? Do you have scars?
I'm not going to lie, the first day or so was pretty awful. I had trouble walking and getting up and down off the toilet. My boyfriend had to help get me with a lot of basic functions. But after the first week, I was fine.
I was also pretty bloated following surgery as they inflate the area with air. Be open with anyone in your home, you're going to fart for a bit. Depending on which pain meds you receive (again, I went through oncology, I was given Percocet) you may be constipated which HURTS if you push after surgery.
I do have four tiny scars that are the length of my pinky nail. After two years, one has basically disappeared and one is in my belly button. I've explained the remaining scars away as falling as a child and people believe it.
Do you regret having a hysterectomy?
Again, my reasoning for doing this was not political but the answer is no. I categorically do not regret the surgery at all. When I woke up I sobbed that I was free and that it was over. I suffered for almost a decade and have never been happier.
Do you still get a period?
I do but not in the sense that I bleed. Again no uterus. But I do get a 'period' where I get cramps and moody. My hormones are still firing but often misfire, like I get bladder cramps (thanks Prostaglandins) because the hormones are looking for my uterus, thus I also get period diarrhea. There's a fun video from gross science that covers period poops. I do not have the period weight gain or acne that I had when I was menstruating. But that's my experience, I'm curious what others have experienced.
My hormones function normally because I still have my ovaries.
Do you have any other side effects?
I had my cervix removed as well and that is partially responsible for my ability to get wet during sex. I can still get wet but it is a little different. Climaxing also feels different, almost muted sometimes, which sucks. But I can still climax, I've just had to work differently with my partner.
I also did not have any post surgical complications but I know two other folks who had hystos and one had trouble urinating right after and needed a catheter for about a week.
What else do I want you to know?
I need you to understand that a full hysterectomy means you cannot and can never get pregnant. There is no way to take eggs from you and this cannot be reversed. Do not be mistaken--this IS permanent sterilization.
I am not stating this to scare you but to make sure you understand there is no going back. I think at this very political moment anxiety is SO high but please really assess whether or not you ever want biological children. If you do not that's ok, and a hysterectomy might be an option for you. Others have suggested other options which as also permanent sterilization techniques.
My ask box is always open for questions on hysterectomies. Make an informed decision and surround yourself with folks who love you.
if you're looking for a sign to get the hysterectomy, get it. if you are wondering if you will feel freer, less burdened, more optimistic, lighter without your uterus, you will. if you simply want to never get periods again, get the hysterectomy. if you want to have sex with a different person every day forever and never worry about getting pregnant, get the hysterectomy. if you don't know whether or not you want to stay on hormones, get the hysterectomy anyway. if you're afraid you're too young, and that people will judge you, get it anyway. you don't have to live in a hostile body. you are the one who gets to decide what it will and will not do.
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Girl Talk: Stop Comparing Yourself to Unrealistic Beauty Standards.
We just want all of our besties to see this video and take into account that 90% of the beauty standards and images you see that is pushed by the media isn’t real.
And this is with no shade: Jodie Joe, the face of fashion nova, has had surgery and it’s still photoshopped, altered and edited in realtime to make her look a certain way.
Stop comparing.
Stop consuming.
Stop trying to fit the mold when you were designed to break it.
Choose health and fitness over aesthetics. Prioritize your well-being, focusing on nourishing your body, staying active, and reprogram your mind to have a positive mindset.
Why?
Because true beauty radiates from within, and when you feel strong and healthy, it reflects in your confidence and energy.
Set realistic goals, celebrate your progress, and surround yourself with supportive communities that uplift and motivate you.
💌 A love letter to my BFS Ladies:
Here at BFS, while we adore sharing moodboards and celebrating outer beauty and fashion, we want to remind you that your journey in femininity and healed womanhood is about so much more. The true goal is healing, inner confidence and growth. Becoming the woman you aspire to be should transcend your outward appearance.
This journey is a mindset and a lifestyle that not only embodies the essence of a soft life but also breaks generational curses and defies stereotypes often placed upon Black women. It’s about nurturing yourself and starting a journey of self-discovery.
Your God-given superpower as a woman lies in this transformative work. Don’t just look the part—embrace the full, life-changing experience. Don’t cheat yourself from the profound growth and healing and real purpose that awaits you.
With love and inspiration,
The BFS Team 💋
Follow us on IG • Facebook • Join Our Groupchat !
#black women in femininity#classy black women#feminine energy#black women makeup#femininity#beauty standards#plastic surgery#fitness#self love#Spotify#girl talks#girl talk#open discussion#self discovery#Black women#Beauty#fashion nova#fast fashion#misogny#black women in luxury#Beyonce#self empowerment#self discipline#women of god
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"best LGBT tourist destinations"
"top 10 countries for LGBT destination weddings"
"where to book your next gaycation"
i think we are living very different lives 😐
#my post#refraining from making a post talking about how 'just fly to a poorer country for trans surgery' dominates discussions of trans healthcare#so instead I'm complaining about pink tourism for annoying rich gay people#although i will put my thoughts together on that one at some point because it annoys me
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I will not use an image for this poll, as there are none that would be Sega-owned or Official artwork. Feel free to drop your own illustrations.
Polling Sonic Fans for their opinions on all manner of things. Share good questions to indicate what you want asked. Submissions open.
#Poll 67#Sonic the Hedgehog#Sonic Fandom#Sonic#Sega#StH#character discussions#character: sonic#opinion poll#How do you feel about depictions of Sonic with top surgery scars?
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i cannot believe they cleared him to drive how do you miss appendicitis in an environment like this. serious questions SURELY FINALLY gotta be asked about whatever medical checks are involved to assess race fitness when shit like this just keeps happening
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thjat one post about going thru your entire life trying to avoid being yelled at❗❗❗❗
#talkys#i cant drive alone yet or hide an entire surgery from my parents which means if i want to look into#getting sterilized i have to discuss it with them and im scared bc i rly dont know what theyll say or do. lol.#theres also the fact that ive wanted this since i was a child but i knowww theyre going to make me feel like i shldnt do it#and ill start doubting it...not bc i dont want it but because welllll shouldnt I be saving moneyy...its not URGENT.....etc#im already talking myself out of it like ive been trained to. i dont want to be yelled at.#i dont need it i just want it. and not bad enough to be yelled at#i dont want anything bad enough to be yelled at.
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man I sure do hope people who say that trans people don't have to present hyper-binary or be passable are normal about masc/butch trans people, including trans women who don't want surgeries or hrt or use she/her pronouns. Man I sure do hope they don't just mean femme trans men and exclude trans women and nonbinary masculine people. Man I sure do hope that they aren't super fucking weird about masculinity, especially when performed by trans women.
#Just.#A lot of people are rlly saying the quiet part out loud when they make posts standing out for transfemme afabs#Lifting up their femininity and right to their expression#Then make posts about ew gross masculinity I hate mascs men eeww#And are dead silent about trans women#They hype up trans men that don't want hrt or surgery#But the only rare discussion they have about trans women is femme trans women#It's almost as if they just hate masculinity and want to preserve femininity#Idk it just rlly grinds all my gears#It's like. Almost TERF-lite#Like they're allies of the most vanilla order#Just hate it when they say they support genderfuckers#But then there's a butch person who uses pronouns other than she/her and still identifies with womanhood to some capacity#Or a trans woman who doesn't want to present femme in any capacity but still identifies as a woman#Then they get fucking confused#it's fine#transphobia#queerphobia#homophobia#trans issues#transphobes#butch#masculine#masculinity#Transmisogyny#I would consider this transmisogyny#Bc denying women's right to express themselves however the fuck they want is a form of misogyny
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I really think we need to start talking about the stigma around hysterectomies and their place in the treatment for the symptoms of endometriosis.
Something I see often is the phrase 'hysterectomies don't cure endometriosis', which is very true, but do you know what a hysterectomy can cure?
Pain.
And you know the pain I'm talking about. The gnawing, all encompassing agony that surrounds our entire lives. The one that keeps you from going back to school, or uses up all of your sick days and vacation time from work combined, the one that leaves you dry heaving for hours until you pass out on the bathroom floor. That pain. There's truly no describing what it's like until you're living it.
And I cannot describe to you how free I feel knowing I will never have to suffer through that ever again.
If we continue to talk about our pain journeys we can end the stigma against hysterectomies. It will never be a cure-all, but remember that you are not a baby machine, you are a human being who deserves to live pain free. And I'm telling you, it's possible.
#endometriosis#hysterectomy#adenomyosis#chronic illness#chronic pain#i was discussing this with my doctor#theyre finally studying hysterectomies relating to pain#and the amount of people who experience pain post surgery#is like less than 0.1%#i like those odds#and i feel so fucking good you guys#i haven't had a period in over two months#TWO MONTHS!!!!!!!!!#NEVER AGAIN!
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YALL! I DID IT! I had my very first patient today! It was a golden retriever who came in for a recheck of an ear infection and I got to look at samples under the microscope and talk to the client and examine the dog and prescribe meds and make recommendations!! my first ever patient as a doctor and it went so so well!! what a perfect first day at work as Dr G!!
#bex talks#dr sexy’s veterinarian journey#my first day as a vet!#I had my first patient!#and I discharged the dental surgery patients we had today and I discussed with the client why extractions were performed#I finally feel like a doctor and it’s so surreal
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
#and this isnt getting into how trans mothwing outside of mothpool is a really good way to read her character#sorry. remembered the shit bonefall got despite being trans as well and got annoyed#that especially annoys me bc hes got plenty of surrogacies but the second hed touch a trans pregnancy#‘’no you cant do that!!! you freak!!! obviously you only see trans people as a loophole for gays to have babies!!!’’#also my gf and i were talking and obviously take this with a grain of salt bc this is our experience#but…. i think a lot of the ppl saying this……. havent really talked to trans women?#dude some of the ones i know LOVE the idea of getting people pregnant#did you know trans women have sex? did you know trans people in general have sex?? did you know trans people irl wanna start families?#did you know that? did you? or do you black out at the idea of a trans woman being anything but strictly pure and nonsexual#and OBVIOUSLY this is not every trans woman. some do have dysphoria around the idea#but im genuinely starting to wonder how these people act around irl transgender parents#whether they had kids before or after coming out#bc ngl. the attitude that thinking about this makes you a transphobic pervert?#directed at trans people making content for themselves?#im starting to think you all just dont want us to reproduce. if we reproduce we arent ‘’good’’ trans people#because a ‘’real’’ man wouldnt carry a child. a ‘’real’’ woman would carry the child. and god forbid the gays even THINK about reproducing#and being around children!#if we have children then we’re doing things that might make cishets look at us and declare we’re not perfect#we’ve proved we’re not just identical to cis ppl!! (and therefore deserving of respect!)#idk. i think this was mostly a case of tumblr going ‘’oh someone said no to this so lets push this to an unhealthy extreme!!’’#and i cant help but notice nobody really brings up nonbinary parents at all in this discussion#not that we have it ‘’better’’ or anything for that but yknow. are we supposed to swear it off?#is the idea of us having kids inconcievable? or worse…. does it mean we ‘’picked a side?’’#so its not even worth getting mad at a pregnant nb person bc ‘’well thats a woman so who cares’’b#HMMMMM.#ohhhh i bet they also get mad if you make transfem pregnancy possible too. no winning#idk really think about it when you go ‘’you can NEVER EVER portray a trans person starting a family. bc REAL trans people would never.’’#ohhh you probably get mad when trans ppl dont get surgery for one reason or another dontcha#whether we want to or its not in the cards for us for whatever reason like cost and such#(while also getting mad if we do bc we cannot win in this no matter what)
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Before we start, here is my GoFundMe to help me afford Top Surgery. I have several posts on the subject on my blog but if need be you can ask questions in my ask box.
CW: Discussion of Suicidality. No explicit actions thoughts or ideas depicting the act of suicide are written, but suicidality is discussed.
It's very difficult to explain that "I can't afford my gender affirming care" = passive suicidality.
Cuz like, I'm not gonna do anything. I've learned to not make plans at this point. (<- A joke you may laugh at). But seriously, how do I tell people "I am suicidal because I cannot get top surgery" and then ask them to donate to my GoFundMe?
I don't want to be manipulative, or even potentially be accused of it. I don't want people to pity me or say "things will get better". I know they will. I know that it's just a matter of time. I know I'm not alone. I'm not clueless. At the same time, posting the same "here's my GoFundMe so you can help me reach my goal!!! 😁😁🫰❤️❤️❤️" when my reality and thoughts are much darker is killing me. I feel fake. I feel dishonest. It's not just a casual thing to ask for money, especially $10,000 but it's what I need.
That's the key word. Need.
Top Surgery isn't something I decided on a whim. It's not something I can live without. My dysphoria is so bad. I need top surgery more than I can possibly explain. Even in this post I'm making sure to keep several things to myself because even this admission is very difficult for me. But it's safer to scream into the Tumblr void and hope my echos bounce to people who can help me than to just keep everything bottled up.
Because I cannot afford to tell my therapist and risk getting out in a hospital. Literally cannot afford it. I need to put whatever is left of each paycheck towards top surgery in order to inch closer to my top surgery goal. Sitting in a hospital won't help me in this case.
So once again here's my GoFundMe in case you can spare something.
#transgender#lgbtq#trans#lgbt#trans masc#nonbinary#ftm#mental health#mental heath issues#mental health discussion#top surgery gofundme#top surgery funds#top surgery fund#top surgery#gofundme#surgery fund#surgery gofundme#medical gofundme#trans healthcare
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your art makes me wanna start testosterone
i can't read tone well, so this is either an incredibly touching ask, or an extremely funny one, and in the absence of confirmation: both!
i'm in a chatty mood, so i'll share some thoughts about testosterone and my art.
i liked being on testosterone a lot. i had an IM injection every two weeks (on tuesdays!) and because that's a sizeable dose every 14 days that slowly disperses, it can cause some mood fluctuations (every other friday i would have a crisis about not feeling like the world had a place for me in it) but even those were far more manageable than the ones that would come with my previous and current monthly hormone cycle (every month i spend a solid week thinking the world will never have a place for me in it)
It gave me a patchy little bit of scruff on my chin and a whispy mustache under my nose that still struggles on, despite adversity!
It redistributed my fat a little bit, but that's long since gone back to pre-T shape.
it lowered my voice! that hasn't changed :^)! even if i never go back on t, that won't change. it was the thing i most wanted, and its the one i'm most grateful for. Pre-T, I didn't speak much. I'm getting better and better at talking and getting more and more comfortable communicating with people because of it.
having been off t now for 3 years, i don't pass anymore—not as a cis man, or a cis woman, certainly not as anything approximating straight. if people look at me and see anything, i'd hazard a guess that they see me as A Queer (the noun—for all it's complicated connotations).
i'm not surprised that my art might make somebody want to start testosterone! a lot of my art was made out of the aching grief that came with being kicked off of testosterone, and how neatly that loss of autonomy over my own body knits in with yamato's loss of autonomy over his own.
how my body started doing things i disliked, how i didn't have the support necessary to access the healthcare i needed—how my inability to give myself what i needed made me feel as though i were trapped inside of myself and abandoned (by both myself and the world at large)
when i write comics about yamato as a trans man, i don't take away his testosterone, because that hits a little too close to home for me. for Ninja War Town Reasons, he has plenty of access to all the HRT he could ever need and nobody questions his need for it—instead, i project my own horrors onto the way Danzō defined his identity for him as a child, the way that Kabuto and Obito dehumanize him as an adult in their war efforts, and reduce him to the thing his body holds (the Mokuton). I give him a kneejerk compulsion to dehumanize himself (out of a feeling that he has a duty to his community to do so) and I give him a slow-growing resistance to that impulse (which comes out of a feeling that the people he loves would frown upon seeing him reduce himself like that)
it's dysphoria! it's not gender dysphoria, but it's a loss of self, and a need to reclaim it. it's a war between the hollow shell of a thing he thinks he has to be, and the vibrant and messy person beneath it that he is. it's a desperate need to say "this is who i am—only i can say it"
I enjoyed HRT a lot. it was a really useful tool in helping me feel like my body was my own, that i didn't have to fight it, that we were the same entity. It's not the only tool, but it was a really good one, and one day I hope to use it again.
(as for the being off of it—it's unpleasant, but i'm enduring! being somebody who now doesn't really pass as anything has put me in a weird and interesting position, where I'm constantly having to declare myself to people, because nobody knows what to make of me on any front. they don't know if i'm a man, a woman, nonbinary, nor even what age i am (Augh!!!!) it forces me to be brave and vulnerable more than I'm comfortable with—if I tell somebody I'm a man, there's no way that they will believe I'm cis, but I'm not about to recloset myself—and I don't think I could at this point anyway.)
(there's something fascinating about the position i find myself in, and while i'd leap back on t the moment that an opportunity presented itself to do so, i do feel like i'm experiencing something interesting and important in this weird zone i find myself in)
#yamswers#anonymous#dysphoria discussion#q slur — only because i literally use it in the noun form most associated w/ dehumanization#i love that u asked this on a tuesday. thank u for asking this on a tuesday#happy testosterone tuesday to all who celebrate#i also got top surgery a while ago—which is responsible for about 50% of my average suicidal idealizations vanishing#because my chest was my second biggest site of dysphoria after my voice#it was far less painful than i dared imagine. and far more satisfying. i had an excellent and lucky recovery#my results aren't perfect but oh man. the joy of being able to press my hand (flat) to my chest (flat).#the way that a binder mimics the exact squeeze around my lungs that a panic attack stimulates—#not feeling that when i'm out in public? thank you modern medicine. thank you. oh my god. no more false flag panic attacks#i had to fight my insurance for two years and all the health providers i contacted told me the hoops i was being made to jump through#seemed utterly ridiculous. and it was still gobs of money but i got it. so grateful u cannot even imagine#a lot of people describe their feelings post op as “relief—finally i could see myself”#but i experience...more delight than relief. joy. is joy the absence of pain or the presence of happiness? can i tell the difference?#on my worst days i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on
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It's so interesting how I could get my ears pierced at a Claire's in under ten minutes, at age 8, without being harassed by adults who cry "what if you regret it???"
I did regret it, mind you. Hated getting the piercings, hated caring for them, hated wearing them- almost never did. I got an infection, my piercing holes closed but there's always be a little scar there, I still have pain in my ears intermittently. Suffering the long term ramifications of body mods at age 8 because my mom thought it'd be cute.
Nobody was there to explain the possible risks and benefits, I didn't have to go to three therapists and I didn't have to wait until I was 16 or 18 or 20 or whatever. Just walked into a mall and had my body permanently altered. But somehow that was fine.
#idk my ears are hurting again and i'm just fucking thinking about how maybe these arguments over 'bodily autonomy' aren't about#trans people's wellbeing or nothin.#this was commonplace in the early 2010s. like all the girls in my school had their ears pierced and the ones who didnt really wanted to#and how its fine that parents can do things to their childrens bodies that they might regret But Not Give Them Puberty Blockers GOD FORBID#this is a topic also relevant to intersex discussions re unnecessary surgeries on children#but im not intersex and i think someone else who is could connect these two things much better
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Recently got a comment on one of my new pics about my top surgery scars that makes me want to talk about this. IT'S OK TO NOT LOVE YOUR CHEST WHILE YOUR WOUNDS ARE FRESH!!! Feeling freaked out at the sight of your chest with all the bruising, still healing incisions, and scabbed over/discolored nipple grafts is totally normal. It's perfectly natural to feel a bit grossed out the first time you see your chest fully. It doesn't mean you made a mistake. You might not get your crying happy tears chest reveal moment. That's ok. For me it's been slowly feeling more at peace in my body as it heals. It just feels right, and I'm happy. I can tell I made the best decision for myself, and I've made it possible to do things I haven't been able to in years. I no longer feel stressed about how I look to other people, and I feel free. At the same time, the first thing I said when I saw myself without the nipple bolsters for the first time was "ew" because I had big scabs over the entirety of both my nipples so they looked gross, I had a ton of bruising covering my right side, I had a fair bit of swelling, and I still had one drain in. Sometimes that's the way the cookie crumbles, and you shouldn't feel bad or worry you made the wrong choice if it happens to you. Give yourself time to fully heal. This goes double for anyone that experiences a complication during/ while recovering from surgery.
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#geese art#oc: kiriltugh#transphobia discussion in tags#the dotharl canonically are flippant abt gender#see: prev sadu was a man and people expressly do not give a fuck#so i doubt kiril would get any flack for being like hm I feel like i’d rather be referred to as a boy#in eorzea i think he was mostly met with confusion#support sure. but confusion overall#he didn’t do anything to present as masculine which isn’t a HUGE deal for someone his age#but the older he got the harder it was to convince people that no he really is a man#he started actually transitioning at about age 15 which he did via cheap watered down fantasias#so slow process akin to irl HRT but if hrt also did ur top surgery for you#but if he had stayed in the steppe he would not have physically transitioned at all#grahhhhh. you fucked up a perfectly good boy is what you did. look at him. he’s got dysphoria.
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are u getting top surgery?? what is it /gen curious
not top surgery, sterilization! ^_^
#skunk mail#Anonymous#i could not ever be discussing top surgery with my parents i wont ever be out to them i dont think....#i think my mom would kill me or herself
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