#surely this qualifies

[veterveter]

I, too, was drunk when I reblogged the Berlermo post, so kindred spirits ✌️ we deserved a better spinoff

Hahahahaha I love that!! Kindred spirits 🥺❤️ Drunk Berlermo posting dream team.

And ugh, yes, there was so much potential for interesting, thoughtful stories being told (not to mention, ones that could've been more in tune with the persistent melancholia of the main show), and instead we get-- that.

And since you mentioned this, I simply have to share with you a story from that night. A bit of rabid madness, if you will.

So imagine this, right: I'm at the club with a friend, talking to some guy I don't know. This must've been around 3, 4 AM (for timeline reasons that's four, five hours after my drunk posting on tumblr). We talk books or whatever, and he asks me what I'm reading.

"The Dangers of Smoking in Bed," I tell him, "Argentinian horror stories. I'm going through an Argentina hyperfixation."

"Why Argentina?" he asks me.

I flick my wrist to show him my watch, or more specifically, to show him the Berlermo picture I keep as the watch face.

"The guy on the left? He's Argentinian," I explain, not actually explaining a thing.

I'm not sure I've ever seen a man so earnestly confused. Guess the takeaway is that I wasn't only drunk Berlermo posting on tumblr, but also at the club. :D

Here's a starter pack (feat. my darling @buttercuq, who gave me the watch)

[officiallydoubtful]

Y’know those evil personas that Youtubers had back in like 2017 or so? I love the idea of those. I think we should bring back using opposite names as like our 'evil persona'. I'll go first, hello everyone, my name is InformallyCertain! Awful to meet you, now I'm off to kick a puppy, or whatever it is evil people do!!

[tacit-semantics]

Fuck it. Crochet cartilaginous stingray skeleton

[jadewritesficshere]

Steve is nonchalantly browsing the chips, waiting for Eddie to return (who in all honesty is probably getting the bag of sour gummy worms Steve already said they couldn't grab).

Steve feels a tug on his shirt. He smiles as he turns, expecting to see his boyfriend but-

Steve looks down at the child staring up at him. "Uh hi?" Steve looks around the empty aisle," Where's your parents bud?" The kid shrugs, but points to Steve's shirt," Tiger."

Steve's faded shirt from his freshman year of high school, now the most soft and comfortable after years of wear, does in fact have a tiger. "Yeah, sure is. Who-" the kid cuts Steve off with a loud roar. Steve can't help but chuckle as he crouches down to be on the kid's level.

Steve is fully focused on this kid, trying to find whoever the kid should be with. When he stands back up, he holds his hand out to the kid, who tentatively grasps his hand. The kid continues to roar and talk about tigers.

Meanwhile, Eddie has watched most of this exchange. Seeing his beloved boyfriend talk to this random child, the concern on his face? Eddie watches from a distance as Steve finds the mother, who was freaking out (understandably).

Eddie can't help but watch as Steve says hi to the baby in the stroller, laughing as the baby reaches out and grabs his finger. Steve says goodbye to the family, roaring back at the kid, who lights up.

Eddie can't help but think how good Steve is with kids. How good of a parent Steve would be. Which, started innocent, but then Eddie's mind jumped to the process of how a child comes about.

And now all Eddie can think about is how he's gonna give Steve one. He doesn't give 2 shits about biology, Eddie's putting a baby in that man.

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

would you consider yourself a gimmick blog.

oh yes absolutely

[arandin-art]

I really wanted to push myself and participated to the @zukkathirst Weekend, but it was a constant struggle. Honestly I'm certain Chip was just way too nice to reject my participation....Otherwise, it would never have been accepted...

So, there you go with the prompts: piercings and frotting. (We'll all agree this one is a complete fail...)

[alluringlight]

Sunday x Reader (Drabble?)

Sunday’s only regret was you. 

He’d tried his best to suppress any feelings he had for you, smothering them within him, keeping them tucked secretly away behind his breast pocket, in the innermost reaches of his heart. 

Of course, he would not spare you from the sweet dream. Only he needed to suffer, for everyone else to partake in the sweetest of dreams, cocooned and safe from the harsh realities of the monotonous drudgery of life. He’d alone remain strong, so all the weak could indulge and live life as they wished. 

He presided over these dreams, but he did not know the ins and outs of them all, did not know what each individual person wished for, nor what they lived out in the comfort of safety. 

And he couldn’t stop his curiosity, you, his sweet little secret respite; what life did you truly wish for above all else? 

With the promise he’d never invade the sanctity of your dream again, he peered down, seeking you out amongst a sea of others. 

Only to be met with his own visage. 

In your dream, you were with him. Laughter and sweet nothings spilled between you, love curled into your forms as if you’d always been together, as if you’d always loved him. As if you needed no other. 

With a heavy heart, what if’s and what could have been on the tip of his tongue, he pulled away from the comfort of your dream, bitter on his palate like medicine. 

He returned to his gilded cage, hoping for you to remain peacefully asleep in the safety of your dreams.

[grimalkenkid]

“The Kind of Person I Wanted Back Then”

(Had a burst of inspiration thanks to @havanillas art of Aventurine with a baby, so have this angsty-yet-hopeful Drabble! Enjoy?)

Aventurine knew his place; he was a tool for the Strategic Investment Department to deploy in situations deemed too risky or underhanded for any of the other Stonehearts. He was basically disposable, a pawn who was nevertheless useful if he could turn the tides at a pivotal moment. So it came as little surprise when Diamond sent him to once again “offer” the IPC’s aid to a particularly stubborn border planet that refused to ally with the Amber Lord against the Antimatter Legion.

Even from orbit, Aventurine saw the scorched craters where once-thriving cities stood, though the sight couldn’t hold a candle to the devastation he witnessed firsthand in his opinion. Of course, he would offer his sympathies or condolences when he met with their leader, but he wouldn’t sugarcoat anything. If Diamond thought a gentle touch would get through their thick skulls, then he would’ve sent Topaz.

The negotiation went about as well as expected. Their leader was a tough, old soldier, determined to maintain his people’s independence. However, Aventurine had seen enough of the crumbling masonry and hastily-set tents along the outskirts to sense the cracks in the man’s resolve.

“Give the IPC a controlling share in the planet’s geothermal energy market, and you’ll have the Preservation’s protection.” The words burned his tongue, bitter and acrid.

Like they should have protected the Avgin…

Aventurine left the meeting having given the leader a few offers to ponder and many possibilities to chew on. He was certain they’d come around and agree to the IPC’s terms. Eventually, everyone did.

There were few casinos still operating within the city, having lost most of their clientele to leisure activities less reliant on luck. A shame, Aventurine thought, and so he returned to the small space-port, texting Stelle to pester her into playing online poker. They were two hands deep when a laser-scorched shuttle made an abrupt landing nearby.

Dozens of injured civilians and soldiers rushed out. Aventurine hung back, keeping out of their way as they undoubtedly hurried to the nearest hospital or, more likely, a first aid kit. He tried not to think of how powerless he was right then. For all his wealth, he couldn’t actually protect anyone. Only the IPC could wield that kind of power, and he was little more than their puppet.

With a heavy-hearted sigh, Aventurine tried to turn his attention back to his game, but a lone figure lagging behind the rest of the refugees caught his gaze first. It was a small child, his awkward gait a sign that he had just barely learned to walk. He stumbled about aimlessly, his wide eyes watery and darting everywhere. Before a single thought formed in his head, Aventurine had already pocketed his phone and strode over to the confused child.

The instant the child saw Aventurine approaching him, he abandoned his wandering and stumbled as fast as his little legs could carry him towards the only adult who even seemed to notice him. Aventurine knelt down in front of the kid, his heart nearly stopping as he saw his eyes clearly, with the distinctly two-colored irises of a Sigonian.

“Where are your—?” Aventurine started, but his question would have to wait as the kid slammed into his chest, clawing at his waistcoat and sobbing as only a frightened child could.

Whatever questions Aventurine had could wait. He slowly brought his hands up and wrapped the poor kid in an awkward hug. He wasn’t supposed to be the one who offered comfort, shouldn’t be the one people trusted. Wasn’t supposed to be a person, just a tool, a pawn. And yet this kid was clinging to him like a lifeline. The least Aventurine could do was give him reassurance in return.

He patted the kid’s head, speaking softly until his tears dried and his breathing grew steady. Only then did Aventurine lift him into his arms, whispering a comforting lie as he returned to the city,

“Now, let’s go find your parents.”

Hours later, and Aventurine had the answer he’d known all along. The kid’s parents were dead, and no one would take him in. Of course they wouldn’t; why would anyone take in a Sigonian? To do so would be asking to invite a future thief and liar into one’s house.

But Aventurine was already a liar. A murder. A loser.

As the kid fell asleep in his arms, Aventurine returned to his ship, shutting himself away from the prying eyes of his subordinates. He sat down in the first chair he saw and finally let his own tears fall.

“I’ll take care of you,” he swore with all the kindness and tenderness that remained in his scarred heart. “I won’t leave you to fend for yourself. I’ll protect you… I promise.”

And he meant it.

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

V1: Shoots you with the pregnancy gun.

Now you are pregnant with baby, Gabriel. 

Gabriel: A child of mine own? How can this be?

Minos and I have been trying for so long.

Machine, you’ve given us a miracle.

I’ll name him Big John. Named of course in honor of the size properties of Minos’ penis.

Thank you, Machine.

I’d offer you the position of godfather but... I’m actually still going to kill you.

V1: YAYYY.

Audio source

[implalazz]

They r funny to me

[adhd-languages]

When someone speaks a foreign language in public and I’m desperately trying not to stare like I’m sorry I’m not racist I just desperately want to hear the different vowel sounds you’re making. sorry.

[judasisgayriot]

2004

[omaano]

"Trouble on Zeffo! After his daring rescue by the crew of the Mantis, Jedi padawan Cal Kestis has embarked on a journey to possibly restore the Jedi Order! Following the steps of Jedi master Eno Cordova, hope has never been easier to grasp. But standing in the way is a massive storm…"

My art piece to go with Steampunk Star Wars written by @hotcocoandmarshmallows my amazing partner for the @swprequels-big-bang. Please give it a read, to see what Cal gets up to on this alternate version of the Mantis, and Zeffo!

[meanbossart]

Do you think either of them would be into CNC?

(That means Consensual non-consent for the folks who don't know the acronyms, which I totally did and totally didn't need to google it, trust me.)

Only in the most watered down, playful iterations of it. Like putting on the fake damsel-in-distress voice and very half-heatedly trying to squirm away while going "Oh nooooo not my virtue". Basically, some really badly-acted and light resistant dialogue while all other aspects of the interaction very clearly point to Yes. This is mostly Astarion's act. DU drow is too passionate to even pretend he isn't into it.

[autismswagsummit]

It has come to my attention while counting votes that Sherlock Holmes has received enough nominations to be included in the tournament without question. However, most of the nominations do not specify the iteration, and so I'm left to ask all of you which Sherlock you'd like to be the representative for the character (and also what will be used as the image for the character).

[polin-erospsyche]

This post was inspired by a comment from an anon in my ask box. They mentioned that if the Queen hadn’t interrupted Polin's wedding, they could have had a beautiful wedding night (if you’re the anon and you’re reading this, hi! And also, I know this isn't everything, but I'll touch on the rest. Small disclaimer: this got long and I’m sorry).

I agree, that could have happened. But honestly, I'm really glad it didn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to see it, but I don’t think it would have been good for them. The intimate scenes we did get tell an overarching story and serve a purpose in the narrative. We’ve been told that these intimate moments are a way for them to communicate, so let’s unpack that.

The first intimate scene is about them discovering each other in a new, intimate way, moving from friendship (which had already started to happen in the carriage) to a lover relationship. This moment is crucial for Penelope's story and character development. From this, she grows in confidence and self-awareness. She expresses this to Colin multiple times, such as when she says, “with the confidence you’ve helped me find this year,” and later, “You’ve taught me to hold my own. You have shown me I’m capable of pleasure beyond imagination.”

From that intimate scene onward, Penelope starts to come into her own power and that includes her sexual power. Colin shows her a level of love and care beyond what she ever thought possible, breaking down the belief system she built around herself. She was ready to sacrifice her dreams of being loved and held for financial stability, a mindset ingrained by Portia. Colin helps her see that this doesn’t have to be the case, chipping away at her long-held beliefs.

Let’s now move to the scene in the alleyway, which links back to anon’s comment. Anon suggests that this is the moment they start repairing their relationship post LW reveal. That following this scene they were in a good enough place to enjoy their wedding night if the Queen hadn’t crashed the party. Yes. And no. 

And oh my god how I’ve longed to discuss this scene but I never quite knew how to approach it. At this point in the show, the narrative is like a tightly wound ball of yarn with so many threads to pull at. So, let’s attempt to pull at them. 

First of all, they’ve entered a whole new playing field. And they’ve entered this playing field while being “the oldest of friends really” so they have ammunition against each other. Pen has hurt Colin by lying (hiding the truth from him time and time again) about her identity. She has let him go on and on about his despise of Lady Whistledown. About his dreams of being an author. These were things he told her in intimacy. Those were things he told his best friend and the person he fell in love with. Not the woman who hides behind her column and has done so much wrong to his family and loved ones. 

There is a separation between the two. For Colin, in that alleyway, there is still just Pen his best friend, Penelope the woman he loves and on the other side of that there is Lady Whistledown, the woman he vowed to destroy. He expresses that when he says “so then you do not need Lady Whistledown anymore”. What he fails to realise at this point, and he cannot be blamed for that, is that Lady Whistledown is an integral part of who Penelope Featherington is as a person. That her alter ego is not just a mask she wears but a crucial aspect of her identity, giving her a sense of power and agency in a world that often limits her as a woman. Something that Pen has slowly come to terms with when she says that she no longer needs to hide behind this alter ego but that does not mean there is no value in it, something that she also explains to him after the Queen has crashed their wedding breakfast. 

Now I say that he cannot be blamed for his refusal of recognizing that they are one and the same because he is still holding onto his misbelief, which is that to be loved and to have a value he must protect what he loves and be useful. Part of that is saving and avenging the people he loves from Whistledown. He has given his word to Eloise, to Marina indirectly, to himself and I’m thinking to Pen silently after what she’s written about herself. He finds himself, due to his misbelief, between a rock and a hard place: “the person he vowed to destroy is, in fact, the person he vowed to protect, and there is no separation between the two” (not me directly quoting myself lol). To this you add all the shame over his writing and his envy of her success and you have a recipe for disaster. 

So essentially, in that alleyway you have Pen who is already well along her character arc and Colin who is still gripping onto his original, unchanged self. This represents a power imbalance. What I love throughout this season, and I might write something about this one day, is that Pen and Colin are never quite on the same level both literally and figuratively. There is always one ahead of the other. This, in the long run, is another recipe for disaster because they are never quite equal. That is UNTIL that butterfly ball when they’ve gone through their character arc respectively. That is the moment they fully come together. They become a unit. They are no longer fighting against each other but with each other and for each other. 

But to arrive to this moment they need to do it separately. They need to be able to work on themselves before they can fully be able to work on their marriage. Genevieve says it well “there is no such thing as true love without first embracing your true self”. For Penelope that is becoming Penelope Bridgerton, an amalgam of the best parts of Whistledown and Penelope Featherington. For Colin that is deconstructing his hero complex and fully believing that he is enough just by being exactly who he is. And that has not happened in that alleyway. Truthfully the surface has barely been scraped in that scene because she essentially shuts down his demons for an instant by saying that she loves him. However, the issues remain. 

So yes, we can speculate all we want. If the Queen had not interrupted their wedding, they might have had a wedding night and they might have had a talk about everything afterward. However, the lack of acceptance of their true selves would have driven them up a wall at the next problem, which was how to handle Cressida.

And I think that is why Polin season is actually so beautiful. It is not just about Polin. It is about marriage and how hard it can get, and how you have to work on yourself to fit around the person you love without sacrificing yourself in the process. It is about choosing each other every day, through the ugly as well as the beautiful, through the hard parts as well as the easy ones. It’s choosing to have faith that you’ll work and figure it out without an assurance that it actually will, but if the love is there, then it just might. That is the story they chose to tell through Penelope and Colin.

First gif made by my bestie @polinsated 💕