#surely it will last perpetually
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really enjoying the we are so back era of thinking my writing is actually good and compelling
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???? something something deep discomfort with body image is it generational?????????
#does your soul ever leave your body when your mom says something and youre like a) Ah. thats where this specific pain comes from#and b) not for anything would i perpetuate this to my own daughter should God bless me with one#anyway mother casually dropped mid conv that i ought to weigh myself once a week just to make sure i was eating right#and by Right she means not too much and not too much of what she considers Junk#also my soul left my BODY when i told her what i was wearing to the date tmr#(red pinafore mini dress with tights and a cute little cardigan situation that i actually feel GOOD in)#and she was like is your stomach bloated right now? if it is dont wear it#(the word she used can be bloated swollen or big in chinese)#MA'AM??????????#anyway im glad theres been fortifying work done in my heart bc this wouldve devastated me last year. absolutely CRUSHED me.#but im like okay........ well i look cute and im at a healthy weight. and im starting to eat better. and i only feel nauseous#thinking abt food occasionally. and i dont weigh and measure myself daily anymore. so thats progress.#also i personally think i look cute in that outfit so i think i SHALL wear it tmr.#anyway. thoughts!!!!!
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seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing
#I fucking. missed d&d tonight by accident#I straight up forgot#and just didn't show up to the session#my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked#I should be sleeping now but brain won't shut up#my creative output is the lowest it's ever been and I've been in some level of depressive funk since like early january#I am just deeply unfathomably exhausted#like mentally and spiritually#all the time#my memory and sense of time are both shit#my spelling is worse than it used to be for some reason??#I really don't know what to do to make my brain start functioning again it's frankly worrying me#I couldn't even handle college so it should come as no surprise that I'm reacting poorly to the world being a perpetual screaming trash fir#and yet#idk it's been hitting again lately that I have never succeeded at anything in my life and just keep tripping and falling up for some reason#fucking everyone is in hell right now and with my overall success rate I should be dead in a ditch but I'm actually doing spectacularly#due to a series of improbable accidents and weird circumstances that happened to turn out in my favor instead of completely fucking me#aside from the looming spectre of my various failed attempts to have some kind of life trajectory#it just doesn't feel like this can keep up forever#like surely at some point the luck has got to run out I can't just keep living like some kind of folkloric trickster archetype#but my motivation and sense of purpose kind of died after the last failed attempt so I'm still just here#doing whatever this is#maybe I should drive out to the coast#maybe staring at the ocean would fix me I've been away from it for too long#I mean it can't make me worse#I should wait until further into summer though so I don't have to drive back in the dark#everyone around here has trucks with those goddamn LED headlights and I've got a little sedan that's directly in their blast zone
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Chasm: Curse of Kaine (Vol. 1/2024), #1.
Writer: Steve Foxe; Penciler and Inker: Andrea Broccardo; Colorist: Brian Reber; Letterer: Joe Caramagna
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Chasm: Curse of Kaine#latest release#Scarlet Spider#Kaine#Kaine Parker#Chasm#Ben Reilly#giant long-haired perpetually dying Kaine with the tattered magenta cape no one’s doing it like you#(Ben’s Spider-Man costume also remains in my top favorite Spidey costumes but that’s beside the point)#what that last panel box has me wondering is: at what point does Kaine’s comment become meta?#because on a narrative level it’s speaking to Kaine’s wrestling with this idea of guilt over his past#(for hounding Ben for so long primarily as well as how Kaine of all people ended up as the Scarlet Spider#if he really can be worthy of being a hero)#but that observation of «wow Ben sure can’t catch a break» is something I’ve been thinking for years#as editorial seems to categorically refuse to let Ben be happy or even heroic for that matter#I remember a comment floating around about how editorial didn’t think there was a place for Ben in the modern comics landscape#what with all the spider characters there are now#I push against that idea on principal but sure even if that was true they could just as easily have Ben retire with Janine in obscurity#as opposed to blowing up his brainpan and have him stoop to mugging tourists#anyway that’s a lot about Ben on a Kaine blog#but I guess this entire event highlights how incredibly intwined their stories are even after all this time
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...why is boredom considered an attractive quality in the romance genre again?
#...it's not really that interesting#especially when its an obvious affectation#and i'm not sure why so many of these male leads are so perpetually bored with life#(or why the female lead gives any of them a second look if they are so unbelievably dull)#especially if there are other guys who are animated by more than some vague desire to reheat their tea#this is so bizarre XD#(i tried a few new books this week)#(none of them have panned out so far)#(but the last one is a novella The Golden Princess is reading aloud and it is highly entertaining)#(because she gives him the longest...slowest...most draaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn out drawl)#(and we have to stop every two paragraphs to laugh)
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Ok I finished The Fear Institute….. O_O
what can I say other than the last arc of that book did not slow down and gut punched me several times.
#It was convoluted but GOOD#I’m going to be honest outside of liking Johannes cabal as a character I didn’t really care for the plot or secondary characters this book#For like 80% of the book… BUT THAT LAST 20%#JESUS DUDE#HIM RESURRECTING HIS PARTNER FOR A MOMENT??????? HEART WRENCHING.#HORST.#I knew he was coming cuz I got spoiled by the description of the book straight up called The Brothers Cabal#But at first I thought the ghoul was fear incarnate (someone Cabal used to know? Lol) & then I was thinking it was Horst when it ran off#But that was so convoluted I guess we can say Johannes has done time travel now#There is perpetually a version of Cabal becoming a ghoul before reviving and living on#Excited for Horst#I’m sure I have more to say but these tags are long and my break is ending#Hi let’s talk about Johannes cabal#Johannes cabal#johannes cabal the necromancer#Johannes cabal liveblogging
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hacks feels like an amalgam of glow, dead to me and grace and frankie IF each of those had leaned into the gay properly (regarding the two mains) and hadn't gotten canceled abruptly.
#it's s bit confusing (the relationship between them) but so far it feels pretty honest#like they might be actually trying to tell a story and not making every body wait for no reason other than keeping people perpetually hangi#like#is it sexual? sure. overtly and right there on the text#but it's hesitance to go one way or another feels natural tbh#from what i've seen it really picks up in season 3#so we'll wait and see#hacks#not sure if glow is the only one that got canceled like that#dead to me had a shitty ending that i'd like to ignore though#last season was great it was just the shitty ending#from what i remember at least#not sure about grace and frankie#i think they got quite a few seasons in#dead to me#glow#grace and frankie
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if florian did manage to beat kieran in the bb champion match, ( i'm still debating if i wanna keep that in mjverse's canon or not, ) i feel like he'd definitely refuse to accept the champion title.
he didn't take on the bb league to become champion, he took it on so he could face kieran again. he never would've challenged the league if kieran wasn't apart of it, let alone attended bb academy as an exchange student if he wasn't there, so taking up the position doesn't feel right to him.
that and it's not exactly something he's passionate about, he'd much rather be exploring the terarium at his leisure and filling his pokédex. kid's a pokémon fanatic first and foremost, after all.
#everything flori does at bb academy is for kieran & literally screams ''i'm desperately in love w/ you''#and it still doesn't occur to kieran that he has feelings for her it just flies over her head#flori and crispin in perpetual fail hell bc their crushes are oblivious rip#i've been grinding bp and unlocking the special coaches for most of the day#i managed to unlock everyone up to geeta so now i'm working on unlocking the last 3 ( which i'm pretty sure is the paldean mystery crew )#i wish you could invite the team star kids too that would've been fun#i want ortega and lacey to interact... giacomo and ryme too#but i need a break from playing grinding for bp is getting really tedious#i'm probably gonna try sleeping actually i'm tired#hc : (pkmn) mjverse#chara : florian russel cavallari#mj.txt#sv dlc spoilers#indigo disk spoilers
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so the foretellers + mom are like the boomers of the kh universe
#like figuratively#problems in keyblade society didn’t start w them but they’re still alive and perpetuating the bullshit#they’re the last living link to the old ways#(i get how luxu did but not sure how the others have survived??)#and everyone else is stuck dealing with the problems they caused#and are still causing bc they still hold the power/are making decisions for everyone else .#and god forbid you’re mentally ill#cant wait for my gay mentally ill darkness using king riku to fuck up their whole oldass lives#my catalyst for change from the v start son
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Chapter 2 of Oh God You're Gonna Get It (You Have Not Been Given Love) is now, against my will, about to cross the 27,000 word mark. And it's still not done.
Also fun fact the entire fic is now over 130k words. Huzzah!
#I am on the last scene of this chapter#and then one more run through to fix all the notes I've left myself#and to make sure it all makes sense together#because as mentioned it's STUPID LONG#fic: oh god you're gonna get it (you have not been given love)#anyways I am once again petitioning for a medici-like patron who wants to fund me in perpetuity#because my full time job is really interfering with my full time fic#writing update
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ahhhhh tp link’s forever soup 💭
#perpetual stew as a concept is incredible to me. i think link’s is Just Fine#not great . but it’s Fine. its soup . that’s cooking perpetually#thank god he lives on his own bc i am not sure how uli and rusl feel abt his ‘hunters pot’ <- that’s a different name for forever soup#this is not the first time i’ve thought abt this stupid innocuous detail from his house and it will not be the last#m
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🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨
hi hello 💞💞💞 I tried to pick five quickly so I wouldn't get bogged down by indecision. I will also take every opportunity to talk about OSTs by notquitereal jack de quidt lol
cold killer - hui, jinhyuk
the perpetual oratorio - jack de quidt
cut their heads off - jack de quidt
kuwazugirai - leina
complex - lucy
why are the spotify previews so big 😭
#asks#inloif#music#the first time I listened to 'cold killer' there was a high note that made me sit up and say 'oh my god' out loud#the scene 'the perpetual oratorio' is for is. chilling. there's a sharp intake of breath before the choir begins near the end#and it hits every time#the scene for 'cut their heads off' was a WILD ride. the alarm. the ticking. the effects. oh how i love a jdq original#I can't remember how I stumbled across 'kuwazugirai' but I love it. the mv...adding it to the dinner party from hell list for sure#and then my lucy! i love them!! the whole from. mini is so good but the funky bassline + violin in 'complex' gets every chefs' kiss.#every last chef.#anyway. thank you for the ask!
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the pure brainrot i subject myself to when i constantly re-watch the same 360p videos of the animals to just barely catch the act of alan glancing at eric and paying close attention to his body language when performing to know how to approach certain portions of the songs, or end the song in general...
#guess what i was subjecting myself to last night#alan does it all over the place in the 'around and around' and 'talkin' 'bout you' performances..........#eeeeee yes some of the few videos we have of them actually on screen together i wonder why connie watches this so much 😐😑😐#the way in which alan uses his keyboard to back up eric's voice to the point of calling himself eric's 'translator' and amanuensis........#wAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PERPETUALLY EXPLODING.......#them... thank you for sharpening my analysis skills in such a profound way i will forever dedicate my braincells to making sure the world#knows that you two are silly and kind and homoerotic with one another and legitimately enjoy the other's company and musical influence#aGGGGH i need a dr pepper and i also need more animals footage featuring alan some day to study like a peer-reviewed textbook#alan price#eric burdon#the animals#classic rock#gif#60s rock#british invasion#things i said today#animusings#that tag is from my animal blog 😔🙏 animusings everywhere including when i'm at work
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Love that my advisor was like “I’m CC-ing this other person on this email to ask her to open this course for you!” and. Uh. I believe that normally, when someone is CC’d on an email, you can see their name? I do not see their name. I think she forgot the CC-ing part. Which is great. Hopefully this person can figure out why I’m CCing them in my return email (because thankfully, their email was very easy to find).
also only just remembered that the head of the grad school program mentioned that there’s an exam over biology basics at the start of he semester and I was intending to study for that. And haven’t. At all.
#not sure why I'm feeling perpetually behind on everything when I'm pretty sure it's only a few things at most#personal#also spent too long last night wrestling with the Target site because I THOUGHT that I had a rewards program with them#and according to my last receipt I did#but the site ate my account/couldn't find it#sooooo we're starting over? I guess?
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#going to be entirely honest#I’m 99% sure it’s Steve playing on ‘Angry’#and I don’t really like it at all#it reminds me a lot of seeing them with him live#he hits heavy and the cymbal work isn’t very complex and it plods rather than swings#which is fine#it’s a legitimate style#but it’s not the stones style#or at least the one that took the band this far (or the one I’m interested in listening to)#oh well#I guess I’ll just wait and see for the rest#and hope Charlie’s on at least 50% of the tracks#as they said initially would be the case#(also going to avoid the music press. everyone knows for near certain this will be the last album. so no-one will pan it. even if it’s not#particularly good. and the iorr assholes are sure to be in raptures over it. b/c they’ll happily lap up anything that perpetuates this band#with not much critical thought about the music or its legacy 20-30 years from now)
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having a new washing machine is so weird bc it's SO quiet and i'm not used to that so if i'm in the other room especially with the windows open i constantly feel like i have to go check if it's still working
#like it's not NEW new the old one broke like mid last year?#but i mean it's a new model so it's very quiet and i've still not gotten used to it#my parents' washing machine sounded like it would take flight towards the end of the cycle it was kind of scary#(it's also falling apart by now mia madre ha “aggiustato” lo sportello con uno stuzzicadenti but um anyway)#and the old one in my apartment was also old so pretty loud#and yeah i mean new washing machine is nice but it was also nice to Know for Sure that it was doing its thing gjvjbkvn#not an actual problem i am aware dw i've just got perpetual anxiety over things breaking in this apartment bc everything seems to break#at one point or another#nico rambles
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