#super long rant that was flooding my notes

[indomitableblackdragon]

I can't figure out this spacing thing and I'm not about to find out. So hey! I'm Allul (They/Them, trying to figure that thing out)! I'm that fucking creature that's flooding your dash with posts about a boat girl and whatever other shenanigans my mind decides to get up to. I'd say I should apologize but really the longer you know me the more you realize this is just how I live my life

I'm 26 (Not for long) and a terrible chronic gacha addict that probably should've stopped a long time ago. But since i haven't I now have adopted boats (as this blog shows) along with....

androids

horse girls

very bisexual prisoners

food personifications

goblins

cinnamon rolls

and plenty of other random things that go in and out of my mind on the daily. This may come at a surprise to plenty of people but I literally haven't even been here a year yet (shocking I know). Most of my writing career has been either super bad fanfics, skype rp (yes this sadly was part of my life), and forums of recently. Only after being dragged here by a few friends did I realize what I was missing out on and I'm glad I joined! I promise you I'm not intimidating as I may seem (If I even come off as intimidating) and really I'm a DM away from blowing your eardrums off about whatever you want. Like lets be real my first blog here was a goddamn pokemon. I think that says everything you need to know.

Anyway next is checks notes about myself and that's problematic. Because I have no idea how to do that :3. According to my friends this meme explains it best

But as expected writing is my hobby (go figure) and beyond that is probably video games. A lot and a ALOT of RPGS, Fighting Games, and whatever is out there to get my serotonin running. Currently I'm down in the mines playing Granblue Fantasy Relink, Granblue Fantasy Versus Rising (are you noticing the trend), and dabbling in some other ventures (Gundam Versus if you want to know how niche my tastes get. I also collect plushes!

in line with my crippling Granblue addiction music CD's!

But yeah if it wasn't obvious I love talking about literally anything. My interests are kinda all over the place but most people can vouch that I'm a damn good listener. And that includes plotting even if my mentality usually is just a "fuck it we ball one" rather than really planning it out (I do love planning too! But sometimes you really just gotta go off and never stop). If you don't find me here on NJ's Blog well don't worry I have like 11 more as well. Featuring...

Morgan le Fay (Fate) (@talesofrainandstars_

Melusine (Also from Fate) (@robustdragonheart)

Nian (Arknights) (@unfetteredfreedom)

Mika ("Archive that may be Blue") (@witchoftrinity)

Architect (Girls' Frontline) (@explosivedesire)

Fenie (Granblue Fantasy) (@sourceoftheflame)

Miyoi Okunoda (Touhou) (@geidonteispostergirl)

"Sparkle" (Honkai Stars Rails) @sparklingsplendor

Hiroi Kikuri (Bocchi the Rock) (@sickhackbassist)

My OC Protag from Armored Core 6 "Raven" (@echoesofcoral)

Beyond that I'm always in Discord if you just want to chat or anything else. You can also find me on twitter where I rant about the most craziest things and cry when my favorites in gachas actually get content (it doesn't happen often). Other then that I have no idea how to end this so here's a picture of my dog

anyway I think I've ranted long enough. Looking forward to talking with everyone more and anyone else who is willing to put up with my muses!"

[aprillikesthings]

New pinned post time!

I've recently lost my mind over the 2018 She-Ra which is probably painfully obvious lol

If I flooded your notifications with likes on all your spop content, please know my queue is ridiculously long and at some point you will also get a slo-mo flood of reblog notifications as my queue catches up

My "about" page is here

The tag for my fic writing is #april writes

And my ao3 account is here

And you can read all the posts where I rewatched She-Ra starting with the first episode here (if you're on mobile that link won't really work but you can read them starting from the end here)

And if you want to see me re-re watch random episodes after doing weed, I keep reblogging this post in order to do that, so uhhh look in the notes? Personally I think those posts are funny as hell sometimes

And you can see progress on my Catra cosplay (and photos of the whole thing once it’s done) here

I know I have a few posts that have gone semi-viral and/or have tens of thousands of notes, and I talk about them in the readmore:

EDIT: ON A RELATED NOTE:

for the love of god if you screenshot one of my tumblr posts to put it on facebook (looking at you vellum and vinyl you have done this twice lol) or twitter or whatever, please for gods sake mark out my username

I really do not want to change my tumblr name because I've had it since 2012, but also I do not need people finding my tumblr, yes I know it's my own fault for having a name/icon/account that is painfully obviously me but like, c'mon

If you got to my blog via my post about rayon: it's just a minor hyperfixation of mine, I rarely blog about that kind of thing. I'm actually not real fussed about "sustainable fashion," I own plenty of polyester and WAY too many clothes--but I do try to take good care of those clothes and make them last. I just get pissed off when people try to pass off "bamboo" or "eucalyptus" as anything other than rayon. (I like rayon. I shouldn't have to use fifty search terms to find soft socks.)

"Why is your queer love post not rebloggable" hahhhhhh well. Browse the notes sometime. But also I explain a bit more here.

Landlord discourse: Hi, I'm not an expert on affordable housing or anything, I just know that The Rent is Too Damn High, and housing is a human right. I got pissed off, I ranted, it blew up.

"The first link on your boobs post leads to a super problematic website" yeah I didn't realize that until it was too late and there's jack shit I can do about it now, sorry.

If you found my blog via a screenshot of a post about no-fault divorce or that bonsai apple: where the fuck are people still finding those lolol

[insanitysscribblings]

I mean you'd with the least amount of pressure possible but, would you ever think about writing a book? Every once and a while I remember how it felt reading Back to Us and I just wish I could read a story that was fully yours.

HAAAAAAA.

Friend.

Let me tell you a story about what was my writing journey post 2020 for me.

As some of you might know, I finished a book at the very end of 2020, by the title of Charlatans. It's an adult novel about three voodoo-touched adult siblings who make Faustian bargains to find their long-missing father in exchange for their hearts' deepest desires.

I was super proud of it. My first full-fledged novel, something I had always known I was capable of doing. The hard part was over.

Or so I thought.

See, to be a GOOD novelist, you have to let your work marinate. So that's what I did: I sat on it for a few months, not touching it at all, not even remembering that it existed. After those few months, I set to the hard work of editing.

When I tell you it is SO hard to edit a book you know is missing SOMETHING, but you have no idea what...ugh. And asking for beta readers was tasking, 'cause the thing was over 90K words. I did still ask, of course, but didn't really manage to get a lot of feedback at that time of editing.

Nevertheless! I pressed on. Started researching literary agents, fully aware that with a single project, you only get ONE shot with each agent.

I had a spreadsheet. I had my query letter. I had detailed notes on who to ask for and why. I was ready.

And so I started querying.

...The agents that didn't straight up ignore me gave me automated rejections. The agents that didn't do that gave me personal rejections.

And the one or two agents that actually bothered to ask AND read the whole manuscript?

They loved it!

Just...not enough to publish it.

So. Here I am, with a fully finished manuscript and no one looking to publish it. What do I do?

I put it away and go back to the drawing board, because clearly, I'm missing something. But since no rejection is personalized enough, I don't know WHAT.

Frustration makes me put it down, and I let it sit for a few more months.

Until #DVPIT.

For the uninitiated, #DVPIT is a literary event in which diverse prospective writers and established agents come together to discover new working relationships. The diverse writer has three chances to pitch their project throughout the day to agents, and if agents like your pitch, you may send them your query package. Cool, right?

I take the day off work. I have my pitches queued on my phone, ready to go. Throughout the day, I strategically post them at peak hours, keeping my fingers crossed for even one single agent's attention.

The event runs for an extra week to give agents a chance to read the thousands of pitches flooding the Discord channel. I wait.

No likes. Not a single one.

Now, this part I'm less bitter about, because 150 characters to describe my book? That's just ridiculous. And the comp titles to prove that people would like it? Ugggggh. Not an opportunity to really sell Charlatans.

But this means that, still, my first novel is without an agent. No agent, no publication.

So I put it away again and decide to move on.

And before you ask, yes, I did look into self-publishing. Still lowkey looking, but it's tough, since everything seems like a scam nowadays. And don't even get me started on the AI books being published.

I know you didn't ask for this rant, @hydrogen-ann and for that, I apologize. But TL;DR: a published book is currently a pipe dream for me, though not for lack of trying.

Bitterness aside, thank you so, so much. I'm so happy you'd be interested in something original of mine. If I ever push Charlatans out the door/find the time to write an entirely NEW novel, I'll be sure to let you know 💜

[112aang]

[this post has been sitting in my drafts and i finally decided to post it]

I hate when people say Katara only chose Aang after he defeated Ozai, like she was some prize. She loved him from the beginning, and although it was subtle at first, it grew into the purest form of love. In contrast, we know that Aang had a crush on Katara from the moment he saw her. But early on, that crush transformed into love, which he cherished more than I, myself, will ever know.

I don’t talk about the EIP kiss much, but it’s something I think about a lot. We all know -or, should know- that Katara said she was “confused” because of the timing, not because she doubted her feelings for Aang. I love kataang with all that I am; but I do have to say that I agree with katara’s decision to wait until after war to act on their feelings for one another. Aang, as well as katara, needed to focus on defeating Ozai and winning the war, without the weight of a new relationship or having to worry about the other person. Plus, who was to say for sure that they would both come back from their perspective battles... alive?

Now, about that kiss...

I know everyone views it differently, and there are even some that go as far as calling Aang some not-so-nice things because of it. But in my eyes, as a 21 year old woman, he was just as confused as Katara. Aang knew, from the invasion kiss and other prior moments, that Katara felt something for him. So, he thought kissing her like he had done previously might help her in being less confused. Because let’s all remember, she did in fact kiss him back on the submarine.

(And, he’s still just a 12-13 year old boy; don’t forget that)

Now, I’m not saying that what Aang did in EIP (kissing Katara after she said she was confused) was right, but I do think it was justified. At least based on what had worked for Aang previously. I think the fandom as a whole needs to give him a bit of a break, too, considering he did regret it immediately afterword. And, on top of that, he learned from his mistake. After that terrible play and what happened with Katara, Aang didn’t push her any further on the matter of their official relationship, or lack there of. He let her come to her decision on her own, and was aware of how she needed to think things over.

In all honesty, I’ve been in Aang’s position, multiple times. My situation was quite different, but I know how he was feeling. My ex and I dated for three years, and although it wasn’t healthy in any way, I was attached, and so sure that I was in love. Long story short, he broke things off and I was heartbroken, to the point of putting myself through more pain by trying to keep him around. I tried to push myself on him, like Aang did, and it ended up blowing up in my face. He returned the feelings, (at least i thought he did), about 6 months later, and we tried to be more than friends without the label/commitment. That lasted about 3 months and ended in me telling him off and eventually getting over it. But my point is, I know how Aang was feeling, which is why I can’t necessarily give him as much grief as some people do.

In the end, it was Katara who officially started their relationship, initiating the kiss in the final scene of the show. And, if you were to put it on a timeline, Sokka’s leg in the final scene is no longer broken. Which means -and I’m just guessing here- that the gaang’s gathering in the Jasmine Dragon was weeks after Zuko’s coronation. So, it’s not like Aang and Katara got together immediately following the war.

Now, back to the EIP kiss, and the events that it leads and relates to:

Yes, Aang kissed Katara without consent. But, he learned from his mistake, and we see him ask for consent in the North and South comic.

Plus, let’s not forget that other characters have non consensual kisses, also.

Yue to Sokka:

Sokka to Suki:

Now, I know these aren’t the exact same scenario, but they happened, nonetheless.

What I’m trying to say is:

Yes, Aang did something that he probably shouldn’t have. But, to say that Katara didn’t feel the same way or that she was a prize for him just doesn’t make sense.

[onlyswan]

summary: in which you get your period and jungkook just wants to be with you.

> fluff / wc: 2.9k

> warnings: period blood 😭 lots of it obviously you know how it is

note: helloooo i’m back :D this was requested. i think. it was probably a month ago so i don’t remember well IM SORRYYYY but here it is anon who was ranting about their period in my asks <3 i feel like i’ve been gone for long but it’s only been a week help i’ve been here and there for the past days hehe

—

you stand motionless beside the bed, staring at the blood stain on the grey bed sheets. you’re still too tired to function and to process the mess you’ve made this fine morning, and you can’t find it in yourself to move when the pain of period cramps is starting to blossom in your abdomen.

jungkook enters the bedroom to wake you up and to announce that breakfast is ready, but is met with the sight of your current predicament.

“oh, baby,” he sighs, wrapping his arms around you and planting a soft kiss on your cheek. “come on, let’s get you freshened up.”

it’s his first instinct to check on the inside of your thighs. this isn’t new. he used to worriedly mention it the first few months you lived together — asking if you’re feeling okay, if it’s normal to bleed that much, until he didn’t anymore. instead, he speaks through his actions.

you feel the wet wipes slide across the soft skin of your thighs, and you try to take over cleaning yourself but his quiet ‘let me’ leaves your heart feeling weaker. your eyes gloss over his hunched figure lovingly, wondering when the intimacy between the two of you started running this deep. with a silent whimper, you lean your weight against his hold when the lightheadedness become unbearable.

it’s the worst week of the month again. your period has always left you in pain, vulnerable, helpless. after the long years of experiencing this monthly, one would assume that you’d get used to it at some point, but you simply can’t. every month feels like the very first time, an evil-spirited visitor forcibly bursting through your front door on a random morning to wreak havoc in your peaceful temple.

this morning is one of those mornings. and this is usually when you feel grateful that you no longer live alone, that you won’t need to crawl your way to the bathroom because your super strong boyfriend never hesitates to swoop you in his arms.

you hold onto the bathroom sink to steady yourself on your feet, hazy eyes looking up at him hesitantly. “i’m okay. i can shower on my own.” his hands pulling up your shirt pauses.

his bunny teeth tugs at his lower lip, looking back at you with uncertainty. your baby hair is sticking on your forehead from sweat. it’s a thing, you’ve told him. hormones act up and increases your body temperature. it gets hard to breathe. aside from cleaning yourself up, that’s also part reason why you scramble to stand under the shower the moment you realize you’re on your period.

he’s worried sick, but of course, he doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. “are you sure? you know i don’t mind at all, right?” and he says it genuinely, having catered to you in the bath about a thousand times, with or without period. he fixes your hair, putting them away from your face in a small effort to lessen your pain and discomfort.

you hold onto his wrist, the simple touch grounding you back into lucidity and reality. “hmm, i’m sure. i’d ask for help if i need it, you know that, too.”

“oh, you better.” he grimaces, unpleasant flashbacks flooding his mind. “i’ll get mad if i find you passed out in the shower again. i’m not even joking.”

“you almost cried that time. i think you’ll cry for real if there comes a next time.” you chuckle, the faint memories have already become something you can laugh about. you were the one who got into the accident, after all. but it still feels fresh to jungkook, who rushed you to the emergency room that morning.

“shut up. you scared the shit out of me.” he mumbles, lips shaping into a pout. why is it that he is in a constant fear of you accidentally hitting your head?

you smile at him softly. he’s been extra caring and attentive since then, constantly checking up on you to ask you how you’re feeling. he simply refuses to let anything bad to happen to you, or else he would go insane.

“i’ll get you some water first, then i’ll clean up while you shower, okay?”

“okay. thank you.” you respond meekly, letting go of his wrist.

he comes back with you naked behind the shower curtain, your head peeking out as you were waiting for him. he hands you a glass of water, and you watch him neatly place a fresh set of clothes and a pad on top of them on the clothing rack as you gulp down the refreshing liquid down your throat.

“finished!” you exclaim proudly, giving him back the empty glass. admittedly, it eased your lightheadedness a little bit.

“good girl.” he praises you, and you hide the shy smile on your face by drawing back the curtain. as he listens to the shower running, he cleans up the floor you’ve unknowingly stained in your debilitated state.

with your eyes closed, you lather your hair with shampoo. “babe, i’ll change the sheets now. you promise me you’re okay?” he checks up on you once again as the lovely boyfriend that he is.

to be honest, you just want this over with as soon as possible so you can lay back down and curl yourself up into fetal position. but still, you don’t really feel like you’re going to faint, so that means you’ve never been better. “yes, i’m okay. i’ll be quick.” you answer quietly, scratching at your scalp.

“not too quick. you might slip, or get dizzy. just breathe, you get it?!” he reminds you, jokingly raising his voice and making it deeper. you can almost hear his smile.

“got it, sir.” you copy him, giggling.

—

you enter the living room to find the couch filled with a bunch of pillows and your favorite fluffy blanket ready to engulf your weary vessel in a warm embrace. and of course, your boyfriend patiently waiting for you. like a kid on christmas day, his eyes light up when he sees you.

he reaches for your arm, immediately pulling you to sit on his lap. “how are you feeling?” he caresses the back of your head tenderly. you close your eyes at the comforting feeling.

“not good, not bad. just alive.” your head falls on his shoulder, nuzzling your face on his neck. “also dizzy. bad cramps. i’m hungry. but i’m sleepy. i don’t know what to do first.”

he juts out his bottom lip. he hates it when you’re in pain. he hates it. “i just reheated the waffles. eat first so you’ll wake up feeling better, is that okay?”

“with strawberries and bananas?” you look at him expectantly, the image of the waffles in your head making you salivate.

he chuckles at your cuteness, visibly feeling unwell but still cheerful in a way. “of course, baby.”

“hurry, hurry.” you crawl down his lap, moving over the blanket instead. since you’re feeling hot, sitting on it to feel the soft fabric against your skin is enough for now. however, he stays still on his spot for a few more seconds. his doe eyes meet your ingenuous ones, and he half smiles.

he scoots closer to you, leaving a small distance between your faces. his gaze falls down to your lips and he asks, “may i get my good morning kiss first?”

you’re the one to cross the distance, and he tilts his head to the side to mold his lips against yours. he feels a tug in his chest when your thumb rubs the supple skin of his cheek softly, contrasting your teeth playfully tugging at his lower lip. you don’t particularly do it to insinuate something, it’s just your favorite thing to do. and he gets drunk on it each time.

you’re also the one to pull away, pressing one last swift kiss on his lips. “there you go. may i have my breakfast now?”

“the things you do to me.” he mutters under his breath, shaking his head with a laugh. you roll your eyes and slap his ass jokingly as he gets up to leave, making him laugh harder.

with a groan, you pull your knees to your chest, putting a pillow in between in an attempt to relieve your cramps.

he comes back quickly, handing you the plate and setting down another glass of water on the center table. your stomach grumbles loudly at the addicting smell, and you look at him with wide eyes in embarrassment.

he throws his head back like a little kid, laughing without a sound as his body vibrates. “shut up!” you whine, hitting his arm lightly with a closed fist.

“my poor baby.” he coos, taking one of the forks from the plate and cutting out a bite sized piece of waffle. “let’s feed the little angry monster in your tummy.”

you don’t say anything anymore, not when the good food is working so well in soothing you. you chew with a delighted expression on your face, obediently biting the slice of banana he offers you. after that, you steal the fork from his hand and start eating on your own.

he turns on the television and flips through the channels until he settles with a drama you’re seeing for the first time. and then he leaves you again, and comes back with the obligatory heating pad.

you focus on eating and trying to follow the plot of the high school drama, figuring out whether it’s the fun or annoying type of cliche. on the other hand, jungkook takes away the pillow, puts the heating pad over your lower abdomen, and brings the pillow back to keep the heating pad securely pressed against you.

you immediately slip further into relaxation, the food giving you energy and the heating pad easing your cramps. “thanks, baby. i feel a lot better.” you voice out your appreciation, extending the plate of waffles to him. he did cook them, after all.

“i already had some earlier.”

you grimace, moving it closer. “you know i can’t finish all these. you brought two forks for a reason.”

“you got me.” he cackles, taking the plate from your hands to be the one to hold it for the both of you.

and you spend the next hour feasting on waffles and fruits, two fools laughing and exchanging commentary about a show you have zero idea what’s going on with.

after the food is wiped out, you gradually get more comfortable on the couch until you finally lay down. your eyes are fighting to stay open as a game show plays on the television after the drama.

jungkook is in your shared room, getting ready to go out for work. he has a schedule this afternoon, which means he will be home later than usual.

he comes out with a backpack already hanging on his shoulder. he squats down infront of you, blocking the screen. you frown as if you’ve actually been watching. “is there anything you want me to buy?” he asks, stroking your hair delicately.

“you smell nice.”

“thank you.” the random compliment makes him swoon.

you hum in response, twirling the lone strand of hair on his forehead with your finger. “need more pads. and the hand soap in the bathroom is running out. and i’m craving fishy ice cream.” the last item referring to the ice cream sandwich that is designed as a cute fish, a dessert you’ve grown very fond of.

“noted. here’s your phone, baby.” he sets down the gadget on the space infront of your chest. “call me if you need anything else. and just order in food for lunch and dinner so you won’t get tired.”

he is about to stand up again before he pauses, suddenly remembering something. “wait, don’t you need panty liners too? i saw that you ran out.”

you blink at him in astonishment, slightly overwhelmed with how observant and thoughtful he is. this is the first time he’s mentioning them. oh heavens, he does love you.

“oh right, i forgot. will you buy those too?”

“i will.” he smiles, proud of himself for remembering and bringing it up. “okay, i’m going. don’t forget my reminders.” he gives your cheek a peck, and you feel some of his lip balm staying on your skin. he gingerly brushes it away with the pads of his fingers.

“hmm, remember to stay safe, too.” he nods at your daily reminder, patting your head one last time.

you doze off to sleep the second he walks out of the door.

—

it’s past midnight when jungkook comes home from work. he finds you fast asleep on the same spot from this morning, except you’re wearing a new set of clothes. the television is playing an action movie he knows you fell asleep to. the heating pad that has ran cold is laying on the table, beside a covered white paper cup he suspects to be iced tea from either lunch or dinner. he takes a sip, and finds out that he is right (cherry! japanese food?), but it has turned flat and bland from the melted ice.

he gives you a forehead kiss before heading to the kitchen, throwing the cup in the trash can where he sees empty food containers as well. he’s relieved that you listened to him. he puts the packs of ice cream in the freezer, and plastic bags of chicken and pork in the designated meat container. he goes to the bathroom next, placing the pads and panty liners in your small cabinet. next off, he refills the hand soap dispenser.

once he has ticked off all the boxes in his to-do list, he brushes his teeth and takes a quick shower to wash away the hectic and tiring day he had at work.

at last, he crawls next to you on the couch only wearing his boxers, letting you use his arm as a pillow for your head. he would carry you to bed, but he doesn’t have the heart to wake you up from your peaceful slumber. more than that, he has noticed that you look more comfortable sleeping on the couch more than the bed.

you stir in your sleep, subconsciously draping your arm over his abdomen to pull him closer to your body and to snuggle against him for comfort and tranquility. he turns to the side so he can embrace you properly, burying his nose in your hair to breathe you in — to soothe the light headache caused by the travel back home.

but you haven’t been asleep that long, so his loving actions wake you up from your rest.

“jungkook?” your small voice whispers, and he feels your warm breath hitting his chest.

“yes, baby?”

“what time is it?”

he checks the time on your phone, which is on top of your abandoned pillow. “1:06am.”

“did you have dinner?” you ask right away, stroking his back gently.

“bibimbap.” he answers, and you feel his lips ghost over your forehead before he gives you a sweet kiss.

“need to change my pad.” you unwillingly pull away from him with a sigh, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

“can i come with you?”

silence fills the air for a moment. “what? no.”

“i won’t look. i’ll turn around.” he tries reasoning with you.

you sit up and look at him in bewilderment. “still a no.”

he looks at you innocently, unwavering with his want to stay close to you. “i’ll wait outside the bathroom door.”

“you missed me?”

he purses his lips, contemplating with what to answer. “just a little bit.”

you hold back a smile at how being silly he is. “did you buy my ice cream?”

“you’re set for an entire week.” he answers proudly, corners of his eyes crinkling as he grins.

“that’s good.” you reply nonchalantly, climbing over him to get off the couch and to stand on your feet.

he follows your movements with a frown. “so can i come with?”

you yawn, tugging at his arm to force him to stand up. he quickly obliges, putting on his slides. “hurry, or i might fall asleep while changing.”

“please don’t.” he nervously laughs as you drag him with you all the way to the other side of the apartment.

he waits patiently by the door, until he notices the disorganized products on the vanity he left this morning, so he spends about a minute fixing those before returning to his post. he hears the water running and then some rustling. he perks up when he hears you whimper next.

“what happened?”

“almost tripped while putting on my panties.” your voice comes out echoey from inside the bathroom.

he slaps his forehead in distress. “i’m starting to think i should bubblewrap you.”

you gasp, opening the door to confront him. “to deliver me to someone else?!”

“i . . . did not mean it like that.” he trails off, biting the inside of his cheek.

you raise an eyebrow in question, and he smiles at you sweetly. “let’s eat ice cream together?”

his offer sounds tempting, however- “didn’t you brush your teeth already?”

his smile drops. “you think that would stop me from having a late night date with you?”

you shrug, stepping out of the bathroom to head to the kitchen. “alright then. makes sense since you’re a mint choco liker.”

he follows suit, whining outloud. “you’re so mean on your period!”

—

taglist! @lolalee24 @alanniys @jjkeverlast @queenofdragonsandcats @yvesismywife @enhypenslay @cramseys @witchfqllen @virgogentlejk @yoonqki @jeonwiixard @monilyv @bermudaisy @ameliejeannelaurent @takochelle + send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

[kkusuka]

I’m so proud I’ve been here long before 2k💁🏼‍♀️ N E WAY CONGRATSSSSS!!!

Can I have fluff 16 with a twist tho, like “My ex just invited me to their wedding and I need you to be my date so it doesn’t look like I’ve spent the last few years being single and hunting down weird things most people can’t even see." with Gojou, Fushiguro, Itadori and a fem reader? If 3 characters are way to many you can keep only Gojou. Keep being amazinggg<3

thank you so much!! <3

“My ex just invited me to their wedding and I need you to be my date so it doesn’t look like I’ve spent the last few years being single and hunting down weird things most people can’t even see."

Gn!Pronouns, but you are implied to be female! 

Cw: an itsy bitsy hint of angst, slight confessions, reader panics, 

a/n: these were almost criminally fun to write, I love these three so much 

Gojou Satoru 

Words: 700 

You had no idea how a simple piece of paper could make you feel. Awkward, confusion, shock, all from one note that you thought was a bill. 

‘Y/n L/n save the date!’ was the last thing you had expected, from your ex-boyfriend nonetheless. The same guy who dated you for a whole three years before telling you over text that it wasn’t going to work out. 

Well, the both of you never had a bad relationship after, but you were a severe level of butthurt. But what made you really freeze was the plus one invitation, if you showed up to your ex’s wedding you would look like a loser. 

Since you were clearly going, you’d never miss on free food and a chance to have a day off, you needed an outfit and a date. The outfit was pretty easy to figure out, you’d go shopping on the weekend and buy something then. 

But someone to go with? You had about three friends whom you knew could not afford any days off and that you just didn't want to take. (at least you had some last resorts) Then, another problem, if they weren’t part of the Jujutsu world it would be harder to explain if you had to abruptly leave, which was a huge possibility this time of year. 

With that, your options were cut down to two- Nanami and...Gojou, of all people. 

Obviously, you tried, emphasis on tried, Nanami first. But after 24 missed calls and a 15-second conversation where he basically told you to shove it, you were in full-on panic mode. The wedding was in three days and you had to do something about your inevitable loneliness. 

You had to get over yourself, the worst Gojo could do was make fun of you or say no. But, he never passes up the opportunity for sweets, just lay on the dessert y/n!

“To what do I owe this sweet phone call Y/n? Confessing your love for yours truly?” his voice laughed through the line. You just had to ask him in a way that would compel him to want to come with you. 

“My ex just invited me to their wedding and I need you to be my date so it doesn’t look like I’ve spent the last few years being single and hunting down weird things most people can’t even see." you blurt not even thinking about the words falling from your lips. 

You come to realize your words from the ringing silence in your ears, “I’m sorry I just-” 

“I’ll come” he answered, cutting off your apologies. He’ll come, you didn't even have to say anything about sugar or bribe him into coming. 

“You’ll come? Really? Why-wait Thank you! It’s on Saturday at 3 pm, we can go together if that makes things better! Thank you so much, you just saved me Gojo! How can I make it up to you!” you were just spouting whatever you could to thank him, listening to his daughter from his side. 

“Why wouldn’t I want to spend time with my little Sugar? You can make it up to me by wearing your prettiest little dress so we’ll be the hottest couple at the wedding.” he teased, continuing ranting about how you should match colors to add ‘flare’. 

“While we’re there we can start planning our own wedding! Doesn’t that sound fun Sugar!” 

Fushiguro Megumi 

Words: 700 

“What even is that” Megumi’s voice rang through the office hallway. You’d like to know too, you haven’t spoken to anyone from your hometown, save for our family, since you moved away six years ago. 

“I’m not totally sure, you want to open it with me?” you question opening the door to your office as he silently follows you in. 

Settling the rest of the mail down, you take a closer look at the suspicious envelope noticing the name on the return address. There's no way! Why the hell was your ex sending you things to your official workspace?

“What’s wrong? Is it bad?” Megumi doesn't know what to do, your face went pale and you looked super confused. 

“Oh, nothing really. I’m just surprised, it’s from my ex” well now he was frozen, was it a love letter? Why was he sending you stuff, he just hoped that it wasn't bad, you had enough on your plate and you didn’t need more. 

Opening the envelope to see flower patterns and script lettering; you know exactly what this letter will be telling you. Just as you suspect a date plastered on the card along with two all familiar names flood your senses. 

“He’s getting married!” you couldn't believe it, why would he invite his high school ex to his wedding, it was an odd choice, to say the least. 

“That’s cool I guess, anyway I gotta go, have fun,” he murmured leaving the room and letting to wonder if you were even going to show up in the first place, but at the moment you send an email and reserve a spot for yourself and admittedly a plus one that didn’t exist. 

You would figure it out in due time!

 ❍❍❍

You did not figure anything out and the wedding was tomorrow. No one in their right mind would drop everything to come to some random wedding. Your point proved when Itadori explained he had plans to go see a movie marathon with Jumpei that he just couldn’t cancel. 

Not even Nobara would spare you some mercy, she and Maki were having a pre-planned girls' day, one that you would be going to if you hadn't agreed to go to some random wedding. 

Now you could only pray that Mehgumi felt enough pity that he would go with you. Deciding that a call would be too impersonal and would be easier to say no over, you make your way to his apartment with a box of dumplings that you knew he loved. 

“Gumi-chan? Open up please!” you knocked on the door waiting for him to come, him appearing a few seconds later; hair messy in sweatpants and a black tank-top. No- this isn’t about his body, it could be, but you had to get this settled first. 

“Uh? Did I miss something? Why are you here?” his questions break you from your stare as you shove the food in his arms, gathering all the courage you could muster. 

“These are for you and all you need to do is hear me out, please? I would really like you too!” you beg, watching as he silently commanded for you to continue. 

“As you know, my ex just invited me to their wedding and I need you to be my date so it doesn’t look like I’ve spent the last few years being single and hunting down weird things most people can’t even see." you kept your head low as you explained to him what had happened, “I really need you to do this for me, I'll give you anything I swear! Just help me this once!” 

“Why do you need me?” he mumbled, commanding your attention back onto his face. 

“Because it’ll be fun and you need to get out.” ‘and this is my way of asking you out but not asking you at the same time’ goes unsaid.

“Fine, but you have to come to dinner with me the next time my dad asks.” that was it you, ultimatum, an easy one too. 

“Deal! Now we have to match or it’ll look stupid, and we have to practice dancing and-” 

“Dear Lord, what did I get into” 

Itadori Yuji 

Words: 600 

You’d pinned the invitation above your bed as a constant reminder that you had to do something. 

Not that you cared what your ex thought of you at their wedding, but something deep inside wanted to show him that you were happy without him. 

And the only way to do that was to shove a hot guy down his throat; better yet, a totally hot guy that was into you. Now all you needed was a hot guy to be into you. 

Well, you had a hot guy to go with you. In a desperate plea, you had asked your good friend Itadori, formally known as the vessel of another somewhat friend Sukuna, and he had agreed. 

Just thinking about it made you cringe a bit; you had been freaking out and ran to his apartment, drenched in rain. 

“My ex just invited me to their wedding and I need you to be my date so it doesn’t look like I’ve spent the last few years being single and hunting down weird things most people can’t even see," you explained frantically, waving your hands. Watching his face contort into every human emotion you could think of, before spreading into a smile. 

“Of course I’ll come with you! It sounds like a blast!” of course Sukuna had a few choice words to say about that, something along the lines of, ‘you're not dragging me to some stupid event because you're lonely! I refuse!” 

And he continued to complain throughout the night of planning and the next morning when you told him he was going whether he wanted to or not and he told you he’d rather die. 

“This Wench will not dictate my life!” he spoke through a mouth on Yuji’s cheek, eye slit glaring in your direction. 

“And I’m not letting some lame demon tell me what I can and can’t do with my friend!” you argued back. 

But he didn't have a say anyway. 

Now you were standing before a mirror, admiring how your dress wrapped around your body, waiting for Itadori to come to the door. 

Hearing the knocks on your door, you grab a small bag and your invitations and your plus one, opening the door to Yuji in a three-piece black suit, staring at you with wide eyes. 

“You look great-” 

“You look crazy beautiful-” 

Both of you freeze at the word mix-up, then breaking into laughter as you loop your arm through his outstretched one. 

“Seriously you look great, y/n. You have that guy wishing he’d never let you go! Wait then you wouldn’t be with me, so just make him miss you a bit but not too much!” he stammered out as you continued your way to his car. 

“You are the worst two humans in existence.” 

[nightowlfandom]

Levi Ackerman- Smile For The Camera

.....Levi and You have fun on livestream fuck you mean...

I wrote this with my chest....js Some of you guys wanted more animeboi content and who am I to say no? If you have any other characters you think I should do let me know! I won’t expose who asked for this....but girl you nasty...and i love that shit so chm’on now.

CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!

Leggo!

...

“Hello Everyone!” you smiled at the camera as your onslaught of fans from all over came flooding in. “Yes, Hi, Hello!” you waved.

Y/N Marry Me

Omg I’m a girl but your body is (fire emoji)

Y/N! WE WANT LINKS TO YOUR OUTFITS DON’T BE SELFISH [Donated 5 dollars]

You laughed as all your fans from all walks of life commented. Men, Women and everyone alike. 

“Um, you guys I just wanna say in advance than 50% of all donations made from this stream will go to multiple charities!” you clapped excitedly. 

Sexy and a conscious kween yass

“Thank you. Yes, this stream is a charity stream which means this will be going as long as I can without wanting to fall asleep.” you laughed. Despite your job on the internet, you stayed pretty wholesome. It’s why you were so popular amongst everyone. Plus you got pretty crazy on streams. In all sense of the word.

Will you be doing a solo stream?

“Um...probably.” you nodded. “I didn’t have time to contact my fellow streamers but I will be going on video call with a few of them during this stream I’ll probably call Madison, maybe we’ll try to get a hold of Dalton!”

Out of the corner of your eye, your bedroom door opened. Levi walked in and you had to put your finger to your lips to signal him to not say anything. 

Levi was well aware of your occupation. It definitely bought in enough money for the two of you to upgrade your cabins and live so he sure as shit wasn’t complaining. He took note of your black and green lingerie and relaxed demeanor. You were always this chill during streams. It was rare that Levi felt like being a little promiscuous, this was one of those times where he wanted to mess with you.

“Um this is my job...and if you have a problem with what I do for a living then I can’t help you. My family doesn’t care.” he was bought back to reality by your snarky voice. “I bought my mother a house doing what I do...it’s not my fault your girlfriend wishes I were you...maybe I’d actually get her off..” you scoffed. “BLOCKED!” you clicked your mouse. 

Levi watched you as you went into a rant about how people shit on those who make their money online. “Just because I take my clothes off for a living and you don’t feel like you could do the same without feeling ashamed is not my problem. I’m not judging you, so you shouldn’t judge me...kay?” you winked. “Anyways let’s move onto something more lighthearted!”

You kept looking over at Levi who was leaning against the wall. He was watching you. This wasn’t new, but the way he was staring...it made your body go hot.

Why do you keep looking to the side?

Who you lookin at?

“Oh! Um...nothing.” you shook your head. “So anyways-” you casually shrugged off your robe.

Before you could continue, you felt a presence behind you, you didn’t move though. 

Who is he?

oop them hands tho

“...Levi what are you doing?” you turned your head to look up at him.

Levi? As In Levi Ackerman?!

Levi the titan killer?

“Yeah.” you giggled nervously. ‘Everyone say hey to my surprise guest...I guess.”

“Hm...I have a fanbase.” he commented dryly. “I’m...a super special friend.” You froze as his hand ghosted over your front and rested at the base of your neck. “Any requests for us?”

Can we see a kiss? [Donated 30 dollars]

“Hmm.” Levi forced you to look at him as he crashed his mouth over yours. He slithered his tongue into you mouth.

FUCK THAT’S HOT! [Donated 50 dollars]

“Hm...you look good in that...” Levi creeped his hand up your back. You felt him unclasp your bra. “You said this was a charity stream, right?”

Finger her, finger her, finger her I’m tryna see what them hands do [donated 100 dollars]

“Oh fuck.” the realization came washing down on you like a ton of bricks. “You guys have no idea what you’ve just started.”

...

How long was this gonna go on! You one had ever seen you come undone so many times in one sitting. Donation after donation all praising you and Levi.

“Are you my little plaything, Y/N? Huh?” he plunged his fingers back into your wetness, thrusting his fingers slowly and deeply.

EDGE HER [Donated 200 dollars]

“Fuck not again.” you moaned. “You guys hate me I can tell. Levi, I’m gonna k-kill you when this is over.”

Am I the only one who wants to see him eat her out? [Donated 150 dollars]

If there was one thing Levi was good as doing. It was using his mouth to either talk his usual smack or using his mouth to put you in your place.

“Remember babe...it’s for charity.” he spoke in a fake baby voice. “On your back.” he grabbed your camera and positioned it to show you both from the side.

“F-fuck!” you had no time to protest and Levi dove between your legs. The sound of slurping, water, and your whines echoed through out the room. Had you been any louder, you probably would have blown out your microphone.

I want one of him

Where do you find these guys

Girl if you don’t marry him I’LL TAKE HIM [Donated 20 dollars]

“This is torture!” you mused your thoughts aloud. The funniest part is, you’ve only been streaming for 3 hours. You were planning to make this a 12-hour stream. Levi didn’t seem to have anything scheduled either, so he wasn’t gonna let you go easy.

....

“Doesn’t she look so pretty when she’s being fucked?” Levi groaned loudly. “You like being fucked on camera? You like showing your little fans how much of a needy little girl you are?” he moaned. “They get to watch while I get to fuck this tight hole of yours. Your little army of small-dick simps want to be be, and I bet so many women want to be you but that’s not gonna fucking happen because your MINE!” He growled as he trust himself into you.

You could barely form words, but the stupid smile on your face said it all.

“You like being degraded don’t you.” 

“What can I say.” you managed through moans. 

EDGE [50 dollars]

HER [50 Dollars]

Damn Y/N got that WAP 

“Oh come on!” you whined as Levi yanked his cock away from you. “Whoever sent that donation, your mom’s a hoe.”

“Remember, princess...you get to cum all you want at the 12 hour mark...we’re 5 hours in.”

(....Don’t say I never did nothin’ for y’alls. I don’t wanna HEAR it.)

[slutfor-fictionalmen]

hi hi! I hope this message isn’t too late or anything, since I only just seen the one you send me this morning! Also I accidentally deleted your messages while trying to reply 🤦‍♀️

But if it’s still alright, may I request an Armin Arlert x slightly thicker/chubby reader? just something soft and simple! maybe he’s noticed that the reader doesn’t eat very much anymore, and is skipping meals, and he confronts her about it, because he doesn’t want her getting sick or something happening. She obviously gets a little upset about it, and like, tells him she’s been having a hard week and has been super insecure lately. She just doesn’t like the way she looks, and Armin comforts her and stuff! All the love and cuddles! 🥰 I’m in need for this rn honestly 😭

I hope i did it right!! Things are more internalized due to my own self indulgence, i hope you like it!!

Tw: self harm(starving) 

Another day passed, and you hated being in the corps more and more, with the men objectifying you and the women with their fake smiles and judgemental looks, aside from Mikasa that is. You felt her hand on your shoulder, staring right back at them as you passed.

She was the only girl-friend you’ve ever had, which makes your bond with each other especially strong, she called you her therapy stuffed animal( in a good way) with how loving and kind you were when she came home to eren’s house. You were always there, you gave her her first jacket, you bear-hugged her when she was at her worst and missed her parents, you stood by her and never faltered. Even going as far as telling off Eren for being tactless to her feelings, poor boy has no social cues.

Eren loved you for how truly different you really are, despite being an only child, you were his sister, as much as a pain in the ass you are. But this called for you being apart of his and Mika’s friend group with no doubt. Being part of erens tight knit group of friends means you were automatically loved by eren, mika…. And armin.

You always had a fondness for the shy blonde, his all bark and no bite nature stole your heart. You met at a young age but only connected through Eren, he always tells you to thank him for that introduction despite your efforts to play off your crush being in vain. You loved how… pure he looked, how in a world full of death and violence, he could always bring light into your day with a smile or a story. No matter what you could count on his smile,you could count on him.

That’s why you hated today with a passion.

“We have extra food, which one of you dumbasses didn’t eat all your shit?” You sighed, walking away from the situation you caused. It wasn’t a good day, their comments bugged you today for some reason, and Armin wasn’t there to perk up the atmosphere of this gloomy day. Making it unreasonably difficult for you to focus on your own health today, this isn’t even the first time this has happened. It’s been a week of irregular meals, constant moving, and titan stress. It wasn’t like you were trying to starve, you just didn’t have the time.

And you didn’t notice till today.

“Lookin’ thinner, bunny… are you eating well?” You ignore eren’s concerned comment, pressing forward with the group in disturbed silence. This was the fifth comment today about your looks that you’ve gotten. You weren’t a small person, you had extra meat, and you had curves, paired with your adorable tiger stripes, but you know for a fact that starving this little would not affect your appearance that much. It irritated you, and you vowed to tell off the next person who said anything.

“Y/n can-“ “Oh my GOD, are you SERIOUS? I’ve been eating! I havent lost that much weight and i don’t want to hear your Perverted FUCKING Mouth say anything! It’s idiotic for you to continue to act like a jealous schoolgirl and make your ‘sly’ comments! So just Shut up!”

You finally open your eyes from your rant, regretful as your irises meet two bright blue eyes on a horrified face. “I was just going to ask if you can slow down and walk with me-“ Guilt floods your mind as you ear him squeak out his words. You lower your gaze and nod, moving to the back of the group with the boy. It didn’t matter how long this would be, you knew Levi would make you set up for camp soon.

“ ‘m sorry armin, you didn’t deserve that, I’m just-“ “Don’t apologize, you didn’t mean it to me but it was still valid. But never mind that, are you ok? Yes you haven’t been eating but you’ve been…. Cold lately..” You wanted to tell him, just say, ‘ I’m so in love with you that even a few days without your voice makes me angry as shit’ but you knew it wasn’t the right time…. And besides, would he even accept a girl like you?

“I’m fine, just stressed, tired, and overwhelmed…. It’s a lot you know?” Armin nods walking closer to you and letting your answer settle before your group sets up for camp and your pace continues to slow.

“You’re beautiful no matter what, I’ve read articles that said starving is actually terrible for your body, unintentional or not, it won’t end up good. If i have to,” He flushes, continuing to look ahead,” I’ll stay with you all day to make sure you’re eating and drinking water.” You freeze, feeling flushed as you watch him walk away and realize that he just offered to be around you all day just for you to be healthy.

You shake it off, keeping his words at the forefront of your mind before you get ready to retire for the night. You find a note on your blanket, asking you to meet armin at his tent with water and a blanket. Curious as to what it means you do as the note says, waiting at armin’s tent before he opens the zipper with a happy smile, welcoming you inside.

“You got the water?” You lift up the container, making him nod and turn away to a covered pile in his room. He takes the cover off, revealing the food he gathered for you two. “You didn’t eat again, so I didn’t either. And before you say anything, i got some of everything  so you have to eat SOMETHING! I told you all day didn’t I?” You look at him with teary eyes, your emotions of the week spilling out at his gesture.

Sobs wrack your body before he pulls you into his form, engulfing you in a warm hug. You feel him draw soothing circles on your back, rocking you and letting out slow shushes in attempts to calm your mind. You feel him kiss the top of your head and rubbing your back more before he pulls away and guides you to the setup of food.

He grabs you a plate of everything, making you sit and eat with him. You nibble at your food, uninterested in grossing out the guy you like by eating in front of him. But that only made him take your fork and feed you himself, he was determined for you to take care of yourself and love yourself as he loves you. You notice him watch you eat with admiration, happy to see you finally giving yourself some nourishment. You hear him sigh and hesitate, but you leave it untouched before he breaks the silence.

“You know…. I’ve loved you for years, ever since you punched out that kid who threatened me for speaking up, and how you always listened to me talk about the books I’ve read and things I’ve heard-“ “i know, i love you too armin.” “No not like that, I’m IN love with you, like i want to hold your hands, kiss you everywhere, curl into you at night, i want to love you.” You stop mid chew, maintaining eye contact as you swallow and stare at him.

“Are you serious?” “Yes.” “Like you’re not-“ “Y/n L/n I am completely and utterly in love with you.” You push the food aside, crawling between his legs and curling up onto his chest and wrapping your arms around his torso. “I love you so much it hurts armin. It hurt me so badly when you wouldn’t talk to me, i don’t know what i did but i was so mad that i pushed you away.”

Armin tilted your chin up, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before he grabbed onto your soft form with a passion. “I’ll never do that again, I’m so sorry beautiful.” You hold onto him tighter pressing your ear to his chest to hear his heartbeat. “You really think I’m beautiful?”

He pulls away, reaching over you to grab your blanket…. Man he really plans things out, before he wraps it around you both and presses a kiss to your temple. He lets his hands sink into your skin, loving how your soft skin feels on his fingertips. His lips pepper kisses on your neck, pulling slightly back to press a kiss onto your hairline. You loved how gentle he was with you, you already knew the answer to to your question before he even opened his mouth.

“More then you can ever know, my love.”

[lollytea]

Girl Talk

(ngl I hate this sm. I wrote this fic yesterday, the file corrupted and i lost everything, had a breakdown, rewrote everything the next day because I am obnoxiously stubborn. Anyways Hunter and Luz content. Bon Appetit?)

(READ ON AO3)

“Okay, but what am I even supposed to say to her? Oh! Maybe I could write down some jokes on the back of my glyph slips in case things get awkward. Wait, no, I don't want her to think I'm not taking this seriously. I don't need to be goofy all the time just to hang out with her. I need her to know that I'm serious about her and this whole...romantic thing. And I know she gets upset when she thinks I'm making fun of her so...”

“Alright, so, get this. It says here that there was once this old witch who lived on the outskirts of Latissa and his whole thing was experimenting by mixing paints and magic together. Apparently the stuff he created was like....super powerful.”

“I mean, she said she likes me 'cause I'm goofy and funny and lovable and...and...and I'm sure there's other adjectives I could use but I'm drawing a blank here. So, who am I to deprive her of what she signed up for? But I can't just....ugh, I can't even think right!”

“It doesn't have a lot of info on his specific technique but I'm sure if we did some more research, we could successfully replicate his experiments. We're pretty good at figuring stuff out. Woah, wait. I wonder what would happen if we created glyphs with this paint....maybe it would enhance the spell's level of power. Oh, that would be so cool!”

Luz stopped pacing, the floorboards practically burning after she thoroughly wore down the surface with her frantic footsteps. She set a hand on her hip and turned a withering look on her guest.

“Call me coocoo but I don't think you're listening to a word I say.”

Hunter lifted his head to blink up at her, chewing on the end of a pen. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, boxed in by towers of Eda's Wild Magic books.

There was a glassy look in his eye, as if he was trying to get his bearings after being abruptly yanked out of an alternate dimension.

He had been, in a way. Luz was inclined to call it “Booksville.”

When Luz first met Hunter, this sort of stuff was a big, huge No-No for him. She could've invited him to take a look at any one of those books, packed with information on that obsession of his and of course, he'd be crazy with intrigue but he would hesitate. If he even opened the book at all, he'd card through the pages with an almost jumpy sense of caution, as if the paper itself would sting his fingers.

Well, that ship had certainly sailed. It had taken him a while to get fully comfortable but nowadays, Hunter didn't ask twice before digging into the contents of Eda's books, soaking up every tidbit of every sentence until he had exhausted every page.

He had even brought his own index flags to mark his favorite passages. He had gone on a little rant earlier about how Eda was an outright maniac for dog-earring the page corners.

Luz made a mental note to never show him the state of her Azura books. He would probably cry.

Hunter had become so lost in the Wild Magic sauce, he didn't even seem to care about the fact that he was not supposed to be here.

Of course, Eda didn't mind that he was here. That is to say, Luz didn't technically tell her he was here. She and King were currently out, being menaces to society and all that fun stuff, as they usually were before Luz would sneak Hunter in.

So, to be fair, Eda had never specifically said that Luz was not allowed to let The Golden Guard of the Emperor's coven into their home.

It was probably fine, right?

Yeah, it was probably fine that Luz had been hiding The Golden Guard of the Emperor's coven in her bedroom like some kind of forbidden pet.

Speaking of forbidden pets, that precious red cardinal of his was perched like a Christmas decoration atop his shoulder. That little rascal did wonders for Hunter. He seemed so much cuter than he was when there was an adorable little palisman snuggling up to him.

Once Hunter had processed what Luz said to him, his features screwed up tight. He was offended.

“Whadd'ya mean I'm not listening? I bet you can't repeat anything I was just talking about.”

“Ugh! Yeah, Hunter, I heard you. Paints! You wanna start painting as a hobby and let me just tell you, I fully support your budding creativety and will hype up your work with my entire heart but please. Right now I am having a full blown Amity Calamity!”

“Yeah, okay, that is not what I was talking about. Also, I get that you're freaking out n' all but....what do you expect me to do about it?” He threw his hands about wildly, at a complete loss. “Man, I don't know anything about that stuff,”

“I don't knowww....” Luz groaned. “I just....ugggghhh.” She buried her head in her hands, ruffling her hair into oblivion, like it would miraculously stimulate her brain cells into action. It released some pent up frustration, at least. “I wish it was easier for us to just talk about girls together.”

Hunter perked up. “Talk about girls? Are you kidding? Of course we can talk about girls, dummy!”

“Wait, really?” Luz asked, taken aback by this apparent development.

“Yeah, for sure. One sec,” Buzzing with eagerness, Hunter dove into his stacks of books, emerging seconds later with a worn, dust encrusted volume. It was so ancient, the title had faded away but Hunter still put his finger to where the big letters should be.

“Notable Female Witches of The Savage Ages,” He rattled off delightedly. “They were considered the mothers of Wild Magic. Their style of spell was really quite advanced, see they--”

Despite her frayed nerves, Luz sill managed a weak laugh.

As insufferable as he could be sometimes, she really did like this nerd a lot.

“Okay, Hunter. Buddy,” She said gently. “This stuff sounds really cool and I wanna hear all about it at some point buuuut....when I say girls, I mean...y'know. Amity specifically.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah.”

Hunter's face fell with disappointment but he was quick to snap back into a look of cool indifference. He shut the book in his lap with a soft thump, set it aside and turned his full attention to Luz.

“Sooooo...” he began awkwardly, scratching at his ear. It could not be more obvious that Hunter wanted nothing to do with this discussion. But Luz appreciated that he was trying. “Girlfriend problems, huh? Shoot.”

Luz's cheeks darkened. “Heh. 'Girlfriend'. Yeah, that's...uh...” She was suddenly very inconvenienced by the existence of her own hands so she clasped them together tight to keep herself from fidgeting. “That is.....a word for Amity.”

Hunter frowned, puzzled. “Okaaaay? So, what's the issue?”

“Ohhhhhh, boy.” An ironic, long suffering smile stretched across her face. “Let me just tell you that there is a lot goin' on up here, pal.” Luz tapped her finger against her temple. “So if I'm gonna give you the full unabridged version--”

“You could summarize it.”

“You know I don't know how to do that.”

“Yeah, I know.” Hunter sighed. “Figured it was worth a shot. Okay, let's hear it.”

“Alright but this is gonna be a lot so I suggest you strap yourself in,”

Luz sucked in a deep inhale, with full intent to let the entire flood of thoughts cascade out her mouth.

Hunter's eyes snapped to the floor, like he was actually looking for a safety harness to attach himself to. Then he seemed to realize that was ridiculous, as he scowled to himself. Little Rascal chirped and he irritably mumbled something under his breath in response.

And then Luz took off.

“Alright, so!” She announced, clapping her hands together. “So me and Amity have known each other fooooor...a while now? Yeah, it's been a while. And we've been pretty good friends ever since and then one day, she rescued me from her scary mom and she had this black flowing cape and her voice went all low and then suddenly, huh. Doki doki, y'know?” She thumped a fist against her chest. “I was gettin' all feelings-y up in here,”.

“And then a little later I figured out that we were both feeling kinda feelings-y and I was all like,” She mimed a brain explosion. “Pshww....”

“Pshww....” Hunter repeated quietly, testing out the little sound effect on his tongue. “Doki...doki....?”

“Yeah. Exactly. Doki doki. Pshww.” Luz nodded, as if he had made a valuable contribution. “So, now we're both here in the same boat, fully shish kebab-ed by Cupid's arrow.”

“Hold up. What language are you speaking?”

“And things are....great? Nice? Sorta hard to believe but stuff actually happens. We hold hands a few times, we...” The volume of her voice dropped to a bashful murmur. “we kiss a few times. There was so many beautiful, amazing romance-y moments that happened, just like in movies, y'know?”

“Movies....?” Hunter's bewildered stare turned from Luz to the bird on his shoulder, as if he was going to get any further clarification from either of them.

“Right! But here's the thing. It sorta feels like all that stuff just went by in a blur. I don't even know how I did any of that. The hand holding, the smooches the....ugh! It was like I was on autopilot or something and now I have no idea how to operate. Now, no matter how hard I try to get the vibe right, I can recreate those moments. So now it's starting to feel like...I don't know how to do anything!”

Luz's arms were whizzing around like an out of control windmill.

“I mean, Sure, Amity takes the lead sometimes but I can't make her carry this entire....relationship? Flirtationship? Whatever it is that's happening here! I gotta act or something! But I've been thinking about it waaaay too much. I never know the right time to hold her hand, I never know if she wants me to tell her she looks cute or if now maybe isn't the right time or...it's awkward, okay?! I've been making it awkward 'cause I don't know what to do! I-I don't even know for sure if we're dating! We've never talked about it!”

The last sentence came out as a squeak and Luz realized she had used up all her oxygen and needed to take a breather.

Hunter had not said a word but Luz did not know what to make of that dissecting stare of his, that studied her with a mixture of confusion and fascination. Like she was some kind of peculiar animal. A flushed, panting, peculiar animal.

“So.” He said finally, holding his palm out for Little Rascal to migrate from his shoulder to his hands. “Why don't you talk about it?”

He asked like it was the obvious solution. Luz was a little irked by it, but she kept her patience.

“Oh, Hunter. Sweet Hunter.” She heaved an exhausted sigh. “It is not that simple.”

He still didn't seem to understand. “Well, why not?”

“'Cause it's--.....Uh.” Luz trailed off, twirling her wrist around as if expecting to snatch an eloquent articulation out of thin air.

“Okay. Lemme put it like this. Amity is....really special. To me. Sometimes I still can't believe that she's real and she's friends with me and she likes me and....whew.” She pressed her fingertips to her cheek, surprised by the warmth. Even thinking that sort of stuff prompted a blush or two but it seemed saying it out loud made her face scalding.

“Anyway, now that we're going through....this, everything feels so much more....fragile?” Her voice rose in pitch, uncertain if 'Fragile' was even a suitable word to describe her feelings. It was just a vague, wishy-washy concept to describe.

“Like I feel like I could break it all so easy, just by....” Wait, she knew. She had figured out her handle on this.

“Just by being me.” She felt an ache just by admitting it, but it was the truth. Luz exhaled unsteadily to compose herself, clasping her fists tight into the fabric of her shorts and she continued...calmly.

“I can't risk doing anything that's gonna push her or make her uncomfortable or scare her away or...y'know, ruin this.” She held up her palms with a heavy shrug. “I-I don't have a plan and it would be way too reckless to wing it. Who knows what would come out of my mouth? She tells me a billion times that my weirdness is what she likes about me but...it can just as easily be the thing she hates if I overdo. I can't overdo it.

Luz was expecting Hunter to look at her like she was dumb again, but surprisingly, he nodded. A slow, thoughtful nod, as he absentmindedly scratched Little Rascal under the chin.

As the silence filled a little longer, she was starting to believe he had nothing else to add, which was fine. She had wanted to rant her heart out but realistically, she couldn't imagine Hunter having any advice for her. This wasn't exactly his area of expertise.

“Hey, Luz.” He said at last, voice surprisingly breezy. “You know those books that you really like? Uhh, with the nice witch Azuzu or whatever,”

“It's the Good Witch Azura!” Luz snapped, hands flying to her hips. “And I know you just pretended to not know her name. You're just trying to be cool.”

“Yeah, yeah.” The corner of Hunter's lip tweaked upwards. “And wasn't there that other witch that you liked to pretend was Azura's girlfriend?

Luz scoffed, finding it utterly unbelievable that this obnoxious little man had the audacity to be so dismissive towards her favorite book series, when she had been sweet enough to smuggle him in here.

“She was not her 'Girlfriend', she was her 'Soulmate' and if you even listened to me talk about it, you would know that. For your information, her name was Hecate and she began as Azura's rival but over the course of the series, they developed a beautiful, unbreakable bond that was jam packed with heavy romantic subtext. I mean, even their declaration of their eternal friendship in Book Five, which was really emotionally poignant by the way, reads so much like a love confession, it's a crime. And it's like...Ladies! Just kiss already!”

“Okay. Right. Sure. I understood some of that.”

“I mean, I guess I've read a ton of Heczura fanfics to tide me over. It's hard to find a fic where they don't kiss. Hold on, you know what fanfiction is, right?”

“Yeah.” The light in Hunter's eyes dimmed. “You made me sit through that three hour long slideshow presentation, remember?”

“Oh, right,” Luz popped a finger gun. “That was fun,”

It was fun, but a lot of work. Hunter was pouting over losing a measly three hours of his time. Well, newsflash, nerd, Luz spent two weeks working on that. Nobody is getting their hours back.

“And what usually happens in those fanfictions?” Asked Hunter, propping his chin up with his hand, as Little Rascal hopped over to a pile of books. “How do they end?”

“I told you, they kiss. A lot of the time they look deeply into each others eye and talk about how they complete each other like two halves of one heart. And y'know, moments of miscellaneous fluff.”

“Uh huh. Interesting,” He mused, tapping his pen against his bottom lip.

Luz knew Hunter could be a little...eccentric but was he really analyzing fanfiction right now? Where did the sudden interest come from?”

“So, uh, besides Azura and Hecate, are there any other...boats(?) that you--”

“Ships.” Luz corrected him.

Hunter snapped his fingers. “Right. Ships. Basically love stories that you really like.”

“We talkin' canon or non canon?”

Hunter squinted at her, lost. Seems somebody was not taking enough notes during the slideshow presentation. “Both? A-all...?”

“Oh, well, there's a bunch.”

Luz had no intention of listing every single ship that had captured her heart. They would be here all week.

“I've spent my whole life reading books, watching movies and anime and--”

“Anime...?”

“Hunter, please!” Luz squeaked as calmly as she possibly could, but she could not deny that she had started to vibrate. “You have no idea how excited you just made me at the thought of teaching you about anime but I'd need to dedicate a whole day to that 'cause I need to meet Amity soon and I'm still sorta in crisis mode. So, let's stay on topic.”

Her brow furrowed. “Whatever the heck the topic is! Why are we talking about ships, Huntifer?”

He waved off her question. “Okay but how does the story usually end for all your ships? The book ones, the anime ones, all of them,”

“We've been over this with the fanfiction discussion. They kiss, Hunter. Geez, you want a diagram or something?”

“But what else?” He prompted.

“What do you mean 'What else?'”

Now this was just getting ridiculous.

“They kiss!” Luz said with a huge amount of emphasis. “And again, miscellaneous fluff. They'll do stuff like pick each other up and swing around, hold hands and....walk off into the sunset, y'know?” She waved off all that extra padding as unimportant to the conversation. (Though Luz did really enjoy miscellaneous fluff.)

“Well yeaaaah,” Hunter was giving off vibes of a grade school teacher who gave her little nudges in the correct direction but ultimately wanted her to figure out the right answer herself. She wished he could just give it to her because honestly, she didn't know where this any of this was going.

“But when exactly do they ask each other if they're dating?”

“Whaa?” Well, that settled it. He had paid no attention to the slideshow whatsoever. “Nah, nah, they don't do stuff like that. They don't have to 'cause they're already perfect for each other. All they gotta do is look into each others' eyes and they just...” Luz shrugged, feeling lightness bubble in her chest at the very thought. She had a feeling her smile looked pretty dopey. “They just know.”

“Right. And why don't you and Amity just know?”

The bubbles burst and the lightness turned to dead weight.

The question speared through Luz's gut. Her entire body went rigid.

She had known but...

She had been trying not to...

Not to think about it.

Because if she thought about it, she knew she'd cry.

But there is was. A culmination of every coil of underlying dread that had been gradually writhing in her stomach in a monster of anxiety, summarized in a short and sweet collection of simplistic little words.

Luz did not just know when it came to Amity. She was constantly taking shots in the dark. That is, if she was even brave enough to take a shot at all.

The two of them together were not as seamlessly synchronized as couples in love were supposed to be.

Her throat stung.

Her vision went cloudy with blotted tears but she managed to catch Hunter's stony expression break into one of sheer panic.

“Wh-- Luz! Hey!” He yelped, scrambling to pick himself up from the floor. He nearly tripped over his books as he stood and hurried over to close the distance between them. He made to reach out to her but his hand stopped, just as it was about to brush against her shoulder. It hovered there for a moment, fingers curling and uncurling with uncertainty.

“Luz, listen, I wasn't....I-I mean, what I meant was...uhh. C-c'mon, cut it out!” Hunter's voice crackled with desperation and despite crying her eyes out, Luz felt the watery chuckle at the back of her throat.

“Aww, does crying make the Golden Guard uncomfy?” She tried to tease but her words came out all wobbly.

In fairness to the poor guy, it probably did. Luz couldn't imagine that dealing with tears in a delicate matter, was ever something he would need to handle in his line of work.

For all she knew, this was his first time having to comfort someone like this.

“You don't get to make jokes and cry at the same time. You gotta pick one.” Hunter snipped, but his tone was not nearly as cutting as usual. Luz was almost tempted to call it soft.

Clearing her eyes with the heel of her hands, she finally felt that warm touch on her shoulder, and then another rest against her upper arm.

Somehow the gentleness cracked all her remaining composure and she dissolved into ragged sobs.

Hunter did not speak nor did he let go out her until she got every tear out of her system. He waited patiently, tracing circles with his thumb into her skin.

Eventually, her sniffles fell silent and her eyes no longer blurred. She took a deep breath and the following exhale was shaky but manageable.

“Are you....good?” He asked cautiously.

Luz nodded.

Hunter removed his hands so carefully, you'd think doing so would cause her physical pain. He must have heard once that people were more prone to being hurt when they were already upset and assumed it was literal.

“Do you really think that...Amity and I....” Luz's voice was low and quiet but her jaw was set tight. She refused to let her words be whimpered. She looked up, meeting Hunter's eyes. “Aren't right for each other?”

“What? No! No, no, no,” Hunter looked positively alarmed at the accusation. “Luz th-that's not even remotely what I meant by that.”

“Well, then I guess you accidentally hit the nail on the head.” Luz managed a strained, bitter little smile. “'Cause it's true.”

“Luz, c'mon,” Hunter groaned, exasperated. “Don't talk like that, you've got it mixed up.”

“No.” Said Luz, tone quiet, polite yet strikingly obstinate. “You were right, Hunter.”

For someone who loved being right, he didn't seem thrilled at all.

“When it comes to Amity, I don't just know. I don't always know what she's thinking or what she wants from me. After all this time, I-I shouldn't still be trying to figure her out,”

Luz wanted to figure her out. Every time she was in her orbit, she wanted nothing more to turn over every last piece of that girl and find every hidden gem.

But now, it like she was barricaded. Something was keeping her from moving forward, from discovering Amity.

“I mean, we've kissed.” The memories of Amity were turning more and more bittersweet by the second “I told her I loved her! We had our happy ending already! A-at least I thought it was a happy ending. But we're not acting like people who are made for each other are meant to act!”

“How do you even know how people who are meant for each other are meant to act?!” Hunter demanded, as though it wouldn't reach Luz's skull unless he raised his voice. “In all the love stories you've read, it always ends with a kiss, doesn't it?”

“And--”

“And miscellaneous fluff. Yeah, I get it.” Hunter shooed the detail away before clearing his throat.

“Point is, they never talk about what comes after. You don't read about all those awkward talks where they decide if they're dating or not and talks about what they're okay with and what they're not. It always just cuts to the perfect, shiny romantic stuff, all tied up with a bow and because of that,” He clutched Luz by the shoulders.”You don't know how to move forward in a relationship 'cause you've never had a frame of reference to help you along.”

“Hey, that's not true!” She tore away from Hunter's grip. “I'll have you know that I imagine my favorite ships as couples all the time,”

“Yeah and lemme guess,” He droned, setting a hand on his hip and launching into a mockingly saccharine tone of voice. “They understand each other soooo well all the time, they can practically read each others' mind and everything is smooth sailing and peachy all the time.”

“Yeah, duh.” Luz didn't quite what he was making fun of. “That's what being a ship is all about.”

“Okay, fine, maybe, but I cannot stress this enough,” He ran his fingers through his hair before making a cutting gesture with the side of his hand, directed at Luz. “You are not a ship.”

“Well, yeah, obviously. I'm only one--”

“I mean that the two of you aren't a ship! Listen to me, you're not Azura and Hecate. You're Luz and Amity. You're real people. You've got like a million different emotions and they're messy and crazy and you don't understand most of them.”

“Okay, Hunter, I get it, I'm a hot mess. You don't have to rub it in.”

“We're all hot messes, Luz!” He exploded. “Every single one of us. 'Cause we're real and not book characters.” He was pacing back and forth now as he ranted and raved, gesticulating like a madman.

“We gotta handle all the awkward conversations that don't fit into books. You gotta talk to real people to get them and you can talk to them for years and years but you're never gonna entirely understand them. In your love stories, it's all kisses and happy endings and it's shiny and sparkly and perfect and nerds like you Eat. It.Up!”

Hunter emphasized his point by poking Luz's forehead, shocking a startled laugh out of her. As wound up as he was, the noise surprised him too.

Her laugh was contagious and soon the room was silent, expect for the sound of quiet, breathy giggles.

One of the knots in Luz's stomach had untangled itself. Hunter did make a point that she could understand. Yeah, okay, maybe she had been a little too wrapped up in fiction to successfully navigate through her own life. Luz had never been the most logical person so it was comforting for a levelheaded counter-argument to whatever was currently inflaming her anxiety.

Obviously, this didn't fix everything. Now, she understood why this wasn't easy but that didn't mean she magically knew where to go from here.

Once the shadow of Luz's smile had finally faded away, she looked up and studied Hunter for a long while. Her gaze may have been a bit intense as nervousness began to creep into his features.

“H-hey. Uh. Sorry if I was a little too--”

“Huntifer, I think you might be on to something with this one,”

He blinked at her before brightening with relief, shrugging it off. “Oh. Yeah, maybe. I dunno, I guess it's worth some thought.

Astonishing how Hunter could switch from the cockiest, most obnoxious kid in the Boiling Isles to a remarkably humble guy. Maybe it depended on context. Or he was just embarrassed that he sorta lost control of himself in his impatience.

Luz nodded. “I'd say a lot of thought. But..I think things are still gonna be awkward. With Amity. I still don't know how I'm supposed to talk this stuff through with her.”

Hunter snorted, loosely folding his arms over chest and resting his weight on one hip. And just like that, with that simple change of posture, he looked full of himself again “You wanna know a secret that's probably not much of a secret?”

He beckoned Luz to lean in closer and said in a stage whisper. “Amity probably doesn't know either.”

Huh. Yeah, Luz knew that. She knew that at the back of her mind but...she hadn't really thought about it much. She was a little too preoccupied with her own inexperience.

Hunter's lofty grin softened. “So, it's a good thing neither of you are doing it alone, right? Don't you think you could figure out how together?”

Figure out how together....

The realization sank from the surface of her mind, and everything was processing very fast then suddenly, everything clicked.

Amity.

Luz knew Amity. Luz trusted Amity. Luz loved Amity. If there was any person Luz believed would stumble alongside her through things they didn't quite understand yet, it was Amity. And it occurred to her that Luz would help Amity in return without hesitation.

With enough notches and trimming and smoothing edges, if they worked through this together, Luz and Amity could click too. Maybe not perfectly, not for a while just yet.

But enough that they could make each other happy.

A swing of confidence so strong flooded Luz's system, she swore she nearly collapsed. She felt the grin tugging at her mouth.

She could try. She could absolutely try. They could both try.

“Is...that a yes?” Hunter asked, gauging her expression.

Luz nodded so speedily, it made her head hurt. But then she realized something else and she turned a very specific look on Hunter.

But before he could ask if she was about to attack him, she held up two fingers on each hand and then placed them on either side of her head so they jutted out just behind her ears.

“Man, I don't know anything about that stuff,” Said Luz, in what she believed to be an uncanny imitation of Hunter's voice.

He frowned. “What are the theatrics for?”

“You lied to me!” Luz was delighted.

“I-I didn't lie!” He loudly objected, pointed ears scorching bright pink. “That was just common sense, you doofus. You know, that thing you lack.”

“You know, that thing you lack.” Luz parroted, swinging her hips from side to side. Once again, her impression remained flawless.

“Don't do that!”

“Don't do that!

“Stop, you weirdo!”

“Stop, you weirdo!”

At the peak of riled up, Hunter floundered for a retort that Luz wouldn't shoot back at him with childish mimicking. But then he cracked and wound up sticking his tongue out at her.

Luz simply mirrored him and Hunter huffed indignantly, turning on his heel and stomping back towards his books.

He had barely made a few steps when Luz lunged at him from behind, draping her long, lanky arms around his shoulders.

“Wha—Hey! Get off!” He squawked, struggling to pry her off him as Luz squished her cheek against his.

“Huntifer~” She singsonged. “Can you please calm down for two seconds and let me say thanks already?”

Hunter knotted his arms and his scowl didn't soften but Luz didn't miss how he stopped trying to squirm out of her grip.

“Even though you were kinda rambly and all over the place, what you said helped. It helped a lot. I know this is something I can handle and I know that 'cause of you. Thanks, nerd.”

She waited patiently until she felt his shoulders loosen. And then he glanced back at her and there was a smile. A small, tight, subtle smile but it was good enough for Luz.

And then with a burst of adrenaline, she gripped him tighter and planted a big, wet raspberry on his cheek.

Predictably, Hunter blew his top. He screeched furiously and his hands went wild to push her off but Luz was stronger than she looked. And so help her, she would give Hunter this affection or die trying.

Dying trying did not seem unlikely, actually. Hunter had told her once before that if he ever murdered her, it would probably be her own fault. Luz could not argue with that.

“That is so gross!” He griped, once Luz had finally released him.

“You're gross~” She chirped, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Hunter wiped the spit off his cheek with his palm before looking up at Luz with narrowed eyes

Luz did not have time to brace herself and suddenly she was tackled to the ground. She kicked and she screamed as Hunter dragged his disgusting wet hand across her face.

“GrossGrossGrossGrossGrossGrossGroooooss!”

Hunter cackled maniacally the whole time.

They carried on like rowdy toddlers for a while until Luz had to go meet Amity, leaving Hunter and his palisman to themselves.

It was too weird to admit out loud but he was disappointed that she was gone. Hanging out with her like this wasn't that bad. Talking with her, arguing with her, wrestling with her. It all made Hunter feel....so much like a kid.

Something that he had realized recently was that he still liked being a kid.

In spite of the doom and gloom of white of gold, of the clawed scars in his shoulder, of the spear that grazed his hair, a spark of childishness remained in Hunter that had never been entirely snuffed out.

It wasn't until he met Luz that he began actively trying to keep that spark alive.

The sun had long since fallen asleep by the time Luz returned and the moon was pooling in the sky. A little after sun down, he heard the downstairs door slam shut and the loud exuberant voice of The Owl Lady boomed from the floorboards beneath him. By the sound of it, she was celebrating a successful day's work. Hunter wondered what she and the cute little demon had managed to steal today.

His snoozing palisman was tucked snug in the crook of his neck, a pleasant warmth against his skin. It was a good idea to keep the bird close. If someone other than Luz came barreling into the room, he'd better have his staff on hand to magically conceal himself.

But once an hour passed and the chatter of the witch and the demon below gradually faded into loud snoring, Hunter presumed they had passed out on the couch. For the time being, he should be fine.

Hunter hoped that creepy owl tube thing wouldn't rat them out. Fortunately, Luz had promised that Hooty was willing to take a bribe but unfortunately, gossip spread fast in the Boiling Isles. Now The Golden Guard had a reputation for being a lunatic who visited the night market several times, buying dead mice in bulk.

He snorted to himself, combing through 'From Bones to Fire: A Study of Wild Magic Volume 2'. Everything he went through just to get his hands on knowledge.

Well, also to be young with Luz.

Yet another hour passed and somehow, being surrounded by his own obsession, Hunter got a little overstimulated. To give his brain a rest, he was now flipping through some tattered old magazine that Luz brought with her from the human realm. Some of the articles were practically gibberish to him but overall, it was okay. He learned he was a Scorpio. He didn't know what that entailed but it sounded cool.

He nearly jumped out of his skin as Luz burst into the room, announcing her return.

Startled, his palisman flew into a fluster, cheeping like crazy before it settled down atop his head. Hunter, meanwhile, had flung the magazine away so fast, it was like it had contaminated him, and snatched up the closest book to pretend he was reading it the whole time.

Thankfully, Luz didn't notice.

“Hey there, Little Rascal,” She cooed, prancing across the room and plopping down next to Hunter. “And hey, you little bookworm, you.”

“Bookworm?” Hunter knocked his shoulder against hers. “You looking for a fight, kid?”

“Whaaaat? Hunter, you wound me, I was just....Ohhh, my bad. I always forget that our bookworms and your bookworms are two waaaay different things.” She paused thoughtfully before shaking her head. “Actually, I don't retract anything. You look like a bookworm.”

“Yeah, well, you smell like a selkidomus.” Hunter smirked.

“Hey!” Luz bumped their shoulders. “Can you blame me? I've had one heck of a day with lots of nervous sweating!”

He was surprised that got him laughing but that tended to happen around her.

“So, how'd it go?” Hunter asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Luz's beam was as bright as a dozen of her light spells. The corner of her lip was twitching, as if she wanted to smile wider but it was physically impossible.

“We're dating.” She stated, no more than a whisper.

It obvious since the moment she entered the room, far bouncier and bubblier than usual but Hunter still grinned.

He had expected her to scream it from the rooftops, to grind his ribcage into powder with the force of her hug, to set off a riot of firework glyphs, spelling it out in lights.

No matter how she could have chosen to tell him, he would have been just as giddy as she was.

And yet, despite the lack of fanfare, somehow, it still felt so much like Luz. Though he knew that in the morning, she would tell the entire Boiling Isles, right here, right now, only Hunter knew. Something about that felt nice.

But the quiet serene scene was momentarily ruptured when Hunter spotted Luz re-adjusting herself out of the corner of his eye and he was immediately on high alert. Another raspberry, he could sense it.

“Luz, don't you d--”

It wasn't a raspberry.

The feather-light peck against his cheek was gone before he fully processed it, as Luz drew away with that big stupid smile still plastered on her face.

Hunter blinked away the surprise, looking to her with a raised eyebrow.

“What's that look for? In this family, we give each other hugs and kisses~”

He felt his lip quirk upwards as he scoffed, turning away with a shake of his head.

“That was so gross.”

“You're gross.”

“For real, it was even more gross than the raspberry.”

Luz burst into giggles and Hunter could understand why everything was suddenly a million times funnier to her. She will still fizzling with that giddiness that Amity had kissed into her and now it was all spilling out.

To be honest, listening to a teenage girl gush and squeal about her girlfriend did not seem like something Hunter would ever willingly subject himself to.

But this was Luz. His friend, Luz.

He lightly pinched the pudge of her cheek. “Heeeey. You wanna tell me all about it, don't you?”

Luz snapped her head over to gawk at him, astonished. And then the excitement took hold and her hands started flapping and she looked about ready to explode with delight. Her mouth was already flying open to give every solitary detail of her evening with Amity Blight.

But then she stopped, a crease forming on her brow. He caught that unreadable look she gave him and the way her eyes skimmed over the books that scattered the floor around them.

“Hmmm.” She stroked her chin with an over dramatic 'thinking' face. “Y'know what? I'll think I'll keep it all to myself.”

“Oh, really~?” Grinned Hunter. “I can only imagine all the romantic schmaltzy sickening stuff that occurred tonight. Miscellaneous fluff, right?”

Judging by the blood that stained her cheekbones, he must have been correct.

“Hey, Hunter.” She said quietly, resting her weight against his side. “You've been lost in your books for hours now. Would you mind telling me all about the most interesting you read about today? Reading myself is fine but it's way better to hear all about it from a bona fide nerd.”

Frankly, it was embarrassing how fast the giddiness practically electrocuted him and suddenly he found himself rambling. He rambled until his voice gave up but it didn't bother him at all because it was just Luz.

Luz hung on every word he said.

[luna-helps-writing]

Hello! I LOVED my Matchup Results, thank you so so much for that! You got it done super quickly too, which was really awesome!! I was wondering if you could please write some headcanons for Aragorn, Fili, Eowyn and Merry Brandybuck dating a girl who is a writer and researcher of Mythology. So she writes all the time about Gods and Goddesses and Myths, and how they would react to that. Like she knows a bunch of different myths from all over our workd and loves to tell stories of ancient gods and heroes. Thanks so much, hope you’re doing well hun!

Sorry this one took a bit longer! My requests are piling up so it took me a little while longer to respond. Thank you so much for your feedback though❤️

Dating an S/O who is a writer and researcher of Mythology:

Aragorn:

• He is absolutely intrigued by other Mythologies than those of Middle-Earth! He will want you to teach him about them. Tell him about literally anything, but he’ll love it!

• He spends every night talking to you about these stories. Perhaps he’ll recite one you told him earlier or maybe you’ll show him another one. Whatever it is, he learns from these stories, whether it was just for entertainment or not.

• When he finally gets the whole plot of one Mythology, he’ll make constant references or talk about them to others. He isn’t really a bragger, but he will (not so subtly) slip the fact that he knows about cultures outside of Middle-Earth.

• When it comes to your writing, he’ll often leave you be, knowing how distracting writing can be. It isn’t until the day is over that he’ll come looking for you and ask you about your process, always interested in reading the bits you wrote that day. He won’t pressure you into anything though, so if you don’t want to share your work, he understands and just leave you be. (He will be disappointed but he’ll rather die than admit that to you.)

Fili:

• Let’s be honest; he already gets loads of information crushed into him, seeing as he’s heir to the throne and all. He might not always remember everything you tell him, but he really tries!

• He keeps little notes in his room with keywords about the stories you told him. Sometimes he won’t remember how one story went and he’ll quickly look at the small paper, information now flooding back to him.

• You know he’s overworked at times and you try to tell him it’s okay to not want to learn all of it, but he insists that it’s okay, even if it sometimes gets to much. You’ll write little guide-books for him and give it to him as a surprise. It really means the world to him! He sometimes feels so bad about not understanding what you’re talking about again, but thanks to your books now, he has had a much easier time keeping track of all of it.

• He treasures this book a lot, keeping it safe in his room. You kept a few pages empty on purpose, in case he wanted to know something else. It’s much easier for him this way as you can tell him what you’re writing, while he just takes in the new stories.

Eowyn:

• Please, she’s the cutest. You once compared her to Athena, and she has been stuck with the idea ever since. It means so much to her that she’ll often write you letters or notes that end with ‘your Athena’. It’s enough to make your heart melt.

• Listen, she buys you the books. She’ll buy empty note books to you with these beautiful leather covers so you can write your stories into them. You’ll offer them to her every night, as some sort of thank you for giving you the book. She always encourages you to write more, claiming she ‘has to know how it ends’ or ‘what the protagonist will do next’. She’s terrible with cliffhangers, so she’ll give you ideas about a continuation all night long.

• Although you’ve told her a lot about Norse and Celtic Mythology, she prefers the Greek one. Yes, this is absolutely because you named her Athena once.

• She’s just so incredibly supportive in anything you do. Whenever you need something of her or need a place where you can safely rant or talk, she’ll be there for you. She’s so sweet, it’s unreal.

Merry:

• He is so amazed, honestly. He cannot believe how your head remembers all of these stories. He himself gets a lot of Mythologies mixed up, but you’re patient with him and don’t blame him at all.

• He really does try to talk with you about it, but sometimes things just won’t get stuck, so he’ll have to switch over to conversations that contain other matters. He feels really bad when he does this, even when you claimed that it’s okay and that it’s really difficult to remember all these names and stories.

• He loves your writing though! Every book you’ve written, he’ll read it. It helps him learn more about Mythologies than when you talk to him. It’s not that you’re a bad talker, but he just can’t keep his attention on one subject for too long.

• Will 100% share your works with his friends and brag in front of them. He will say something among the lines of ‘my S/O is so incredibly smart, they wrote this all on their own’. He’s so supportive and proud at you, it’s one of the sweetest things ever.

I hope you liked it!!❤️

[theladyragnell]

Hi it's leverage birthday anon! It's so good! I just finished watching the episodes and idk how far you are so I'm avoiding spoilers but I will say that I'm excited about Sophie's role and also Breanna is incredible. Harry is... surprisingly well suited to the team, I didn't expect to like him as much as I do.

I'm glad they got rid of Nate for obvious reasons but I do miss the edge he brought to the show. I don't think any of the other characters can/should really carry the anger that he did and since he was the proxy for how angry the viewers were/are at the world as it is vs how it should be it felt a liiiiitle lacking. Still really good! Just softer I guess.

But yeah! Overall super excited!! And I hope I didn't spoil anything you didn't already know, I think I stuck to stuff available in the trailers/ep 1 (I have other reactions regarding characters ofc but they're a bit more spoilery so just know I haven't forgotten the trio)

A PSA for you and anyone else reading: I am four episodes in! Given evening commitments this week, there's a chance of me finishing by Sunday, and almost certainly within a week.

I'll put my somewhat incoherent thoughts behind a cut since I don't know if I'll be able to avoid spoilers as deftly! (So if read-mores don't tend to work for you and you care about Leverage spoilers, now's the time to get past this post on your dash.)

On Harry: I really enjoy him too! I think that they're doing a really good and smart job of showing the ways the world has changed and using this new character to do it. Plus I love that he just kind of rolls with everything, while also being something of an outsider to the group with new perspectives on their habits.

On Sophie's role: I am enjoying it, though her taking on leadership of the team is a little bit bothering me because we're not getting as much of Parker being in charge of cons as I wanted. (On a side note, Parker saying she's been the grifter since Sophie left was weird to me--like, I love the flowcharts thing, but also Eliot seemed like the natural choice to me to take up most of the grifter roles, his grifts were always more believable than the other two, even if they'd have had to choose different kinds of cons with his character strengths.) So, a toss-up there for me?

On Breanna: My feelings on Breanna are basically that meme that's like "I want to protect it, I want to tell my friends about it." SO GREAT. Like, do I miss Hardison? Obviously. Is she SO GREAT? SHE IS.

On anger and Nate: Hard disagree here, actually! Like, Nate did add an overt anger to the show, but I just last night watched the episode where Breanna makes a speech that boils down to "The world has been fucked as long as I've been alive, and now that I've got the power to, I'm going to fuck it right back." She is VERY angry. As for the others ... they're angry, but what you're reading as softer edges to the show I'm reading as the weary resignation of people who have been angry for a really long time and who have been trying to hold back a flood and getting pushed back inch by inch no matter how many times they step forward but know they never can and never want to stop doing the work. And it feels really real to me! I've sure as hell been tired after the last five years especially, but I'm also angrier than ever, just a different kind of anger. So I've been really interested in the ways they're exploring that!

Anyway, yes, those are some feelings so far! I am so excited to see all the meta and tag rants Leverage fandom comes up with, it has always been good at that.

[sukunastoy]

hey, srry to be the one to rant in ur inbox but i saw u were open to anons and ur one of the few ppl ik in this fandom space thts around my age group and i was just wondering. how??

ive been on tumblr and in fandom/fanfic communities since i waz around 15, its basically my main hobby and pretty much the only social outlet i have, and ive just been so down and so lonely because ive been feeling shunned and excluded pretty much everywhere once i disclose my age and i absolutly completely understand WHY bc there r so many younger ppl in these places, but i dont know what else to do. it feels like nothing is fun anymore. the general consensus seems to b that i should just fck off and have some kids and pay bills until i die. how do u deal with it?? are u ever bothered by it? i feel likr a creep for even being here still, but it’s one of the only things i still have tht brings me joy. srry if that was a lot, i feel bad even compareing myself to u in any way because im nowhere near as talented as u are, absolutly delete this if it makes u uncomfortable whatsoever

hope u are doing well yourself 💙 ty for being u

First of all, NEVER be sorry to rant to my inbox!! And I truly feel appreciative for you to tell me all of this. This is a safe space and you're always welcome to it! My reply is a bit long, I didn't want to flood anyone with a super long post, so the rest is beneath the cut.

I completely understand how you feel, about the age thing and the ever present societal norms of "Must be an adult, must have kids, must do this, yada yada". Its depressing as fuck.

I've been into anime and manga since around 13-14 years old (apart from Pokemon which I've loved -And still do!- since the age of 5.)

I always wrote fanfics, always did fanart, even if I thought it was absolute garbage, I was still so happy just doing it. It has been something that got me through the toughest times in my life. I struggle with suicidal depression, always have for as long as I can remember, even back in my single digit days before even becoming a teenager. When I started to reach the age of "adulthood" I started to shy away from what I loved doing because I felt as an adult, I wasn't allowed to enjoy what I truly loved anymore, cause I needed to "grow up." And I did that. For a while. I rarely acknowledged anime. I sold all of my manga, my wall scrolls, my merch. I stopped drawing/writing it as much cause I needed to focus on being an adult, paying my bills, going to college, all that crap.

But, I got worse in my depression. I self harmed, had to go to therapy, had to start medication, and at one point I actually wrote that final goodbye note because I couldn't handle the norm of "being a mature adult" so I figured I must be useless otherwise. If I wasn't happy playing my adult role in society, what was the point of me even living?

During this time I went to college for 3 years, stressing, crying, working on a degree that I didn't even want because I thought it was expected of me. (I've always wanted to go to an art school and get a degree there. But my parents and everyone else in family told me, thats not a real degree. So I left it behind...) For 3 years I wasted my time and money and sanity to try to appease the people who don't pay my bills, don't put food in my mouth and certainly don't do shit for me otherwise, and I finally stopped and thought...

WHY?

WHY am I trying to impress and fit in with people who don't even really know me or provide for me?

I dropped out of the college that was stressing me out. I lost that money, but oh well, I was miserable, and my mental health is more important to me.

I don't want kids. I don't want that boring life of "just work til your dead". I don't want to have boring hobbies that I don't even like just to fit in with the people of my age range who I could care less about.

I'm turning 30 in a few months, and I regret wasting a few years of my life trying to fit into this norm of, bullshit. (And please note to whoever is reading this, if doing a lot of the 'norm' and having a family with kids and everything IS happiness for you, that is beautiful!! I am only referring to the people who don't want that life, and it should NOT be forced upon them.)

I love anime. I love drawing it, writing fics for it, interacting with other people over it, and I don't know why I ever tried to deny that.

I was afraid to return online in the fandoms because surely everyone must only be young teenagers right? Actually, not at all!

I've interacted with SO MANY people near my age range, and, it is truly amazing.

There are lots of people close in age, sometimes they're just a little difficult to find, but they are there, I promise, and they are amazing. I've enjoyed anime more in my adult life now than when I was younger tbh because I stopped caring about what others think and that my age is literally just a number. I'll be 30. So what, that doesn't change what I love. My body is getting older, that's all. I am still ME.

My fiance and I still go out and play Pokemon Go, collect Pokemon cards, like, I have BINDERS full of cards. The store we go to is ALWAYS packed with other people our age and way older who love Pokemon, Digimon, YuGiOh, and all sorts of other anime things they offer there.

These people are out there!

I started being more open with my likes and interests with strangers and coworkers, and I found out a lot of people really are into this, but felt they had to keep it hidden cause they didn't want anyone to think they were weird because of their age.

I surround myself with those who I know are supportive of me, or don't have a problem with my likes and interests and I stay away from those who try to shame me, and I kick them out of my life because I don't need that negativity in my circle. Some people my age who aren't into anime don't have a problem with me being into it at all. They've never shunned me for it. If anyone does, goodbye.

Life is short, its hard, its shitty. It doesn't need to be made worse by trying to appease those who aren't providing for you or feeling like you're not allowed to love what you love. So enjoy the things you love to enjoy. If there's something that you can latch onto that brings honest happiness into your life, cherish it.

I hope this helped in some way...even if just a tiny bit...

I know it was long, but I wanted to explain as much as I could so you don't feel like you're alone or left behind in the fandoms because of age. I tried to deny what brought me joy, and it only brought me more misery. I hated it.

I'm so much happier now, and I truly hope this type of peace comes for you soon as well.

Always feel free to drop in my inbox as anon, I would NEVER delete something like this.

Again, I hope this helped. If I didn't acknowledge something, or seemed to entirely misunderstand, I dearly apologize and please correct me if needed!!

💕 (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

(❁´◡`❁)~Stay shameless!

[hockeyboysiguess]

Countdown

a/n: what’s up everyone? i’m new in town because i found one stupid hockey boy which led me to another and you know how it goes. let me know if you want me to continue writing!

warnings: some swearing, a little bit of drinking.

Your feet were killing you, and you’d definitely had a couple more than you set out to have when the night started, but it was New Year’s Eve, you told yourself. It was the kind of night you could have a little too much. You rocked a little forward on your heels, trying to relieve some of the pressure on the arches of your feet, but it threw you off balance. Luckily, Mat was there with a steady arm to keep you to your feet. You could’ve done without the chirping that immediately followed the incident.

“You know, you could just take the shoes off if they’re bothering you that much,” he said, with a laugh edging at each word as he spoke.

“I’ve definitely explained this to you before,” you sighed. “You look at the shoe, you look at your feet, you tell yourself that your shoes and your feet are married tonight and nothing in the world will separate you. You can’t get divorced after two hours, would look bad for my next husband.”

“You are more committed to those shoes than you were with your last boyfriend,” Mat retorts, never the one to stop the banter first.

“He couldn’t support me like these babies can.” You point your toes and jut one foot out for emphasis, “He didn’t make my legs look this killer either.”

Mat rolled his eyes at you and laughed, a constant combination in your friendship that had become one of the most crucial in your life this past year. You’d met him towards the beginning of the year, and you got along instantly due to your identical senses of humor. Your friendship solidified with his willingness to try practically every restaurant in New York City with you and the fact that you always let him be the DJ whenever you were together. You tried to go through the timeline of your friendship, trying to find the moment something shifted and he stopped being your friend Mat and started being the reason you said no to dates with other guys when they approached you and why you refused to let any of you other friends set you up with anyone. You glanced over at the clock to distract yourself from your thoughts, 11:50pm. Ten minutes to midnight.

“Hey, I was just thinking about the day we met,” Mat told you, a smile on his face carrying over to yours as you remembered the first time you met him.

Ten.

- Months ago, you were at a party pretty similar to this where everyone was a little less dressed up and the alcohol was a lot worse. You were standing with two of your friends, debating on if you wanted to stay longer or head out to the bars when a ping pong ball landed in your cup.

“Hey! My buddy needs a partner for pong. Can you play? Doesn’t matter if you’re shit; he’s probably worse.”

You shrugged, said, “Why not?” and stepped up to the table next to him. You set your cup down on the table and turned to your new partner for the evening, “If I have to carry this team, now’s the time to let me know that you’re dead weight.”

His face was a little taken aback for a second, but then a wide smile formed across his face. He nodded softly.

“I like you,” he said. “You’re right, I am totally about to be dead weight. My name’s Mat by the way.”

You introduced yourself to him and proceeded to win the next two rounds of beer pong with Mat making three cups the entire time. You made fun of his accent. He pretended to be upset that you got away with breaking the elbows rule because you had boobs and they distracted Tito, but the distraction was to his advantage so he said he’d let the rule breaking slide as long as you promised to be his pong partner for the night. You agreed to take him on as charity case for the night if he tried a Thai-Greek fusion brunch with you tomorrow morning that none of your other friends we’re willing to go it. He took the deal and your friendship began.

Nine.

“– seasons of How I Met Your Mother? Jesus, is this even going to be worth it?” Mat complained

“Get the popcorn, sit down, and shut up,” you told him. “I cannot believe you haven’t seen this before. It’s a classic.

“Friends is a classic,” he sighs as he sits down on the couch, dropping the popcorn bowl between you. “This is a cheap imitation. Besides, I thought you would hate this. Isn’t Barney like very anti your whole super feminist thing or something and doesn’t Ted just suck?”

“If you don’t realize you have to take everything in this world with a grain of salt yet, then you are beyond help, Barzy.”

You binged it in under three weeks. While you’d lived the last episode premiering live with your family, you didn’t think you’d ever seen anyone as pissed off at the ending of the show than Mat was. Your sides hurt from laughing so much at his insane ranting about how they could have possibly done that to him, with all of the time he invested in this show. He took it personally and swore he’d never watch another episode again. You still couldn’t bring it up without making him start a whole diatribe. It was your party trick together even though Mat wasn’t quite in on the joke.

Eight.

- Days in Spain in June. Mat insisted on you joining him on his post season tour of Europe. By tour he meant never leaving Spain but going on a lot of wine tours and pretending he knew a lot about wine even though he couldn’t tell the difference between a three-hundred-dollar bottle of age merlot and a bottle of Barefoot if his life depended on it.

“Oh, isn’t this a fabulous red vintage?” Mat said to you, doing an impossibly bad British accent in an attempt to sound fancy. “I can taste floral,” he sipped the wine again, smacking his tongue against his lips loudly, “and citrus notes in this one. You’ll quite like it, madam.”

“You’re gonna get us kicked out,” you sang softly to him as you noticed the daggers he was getting from your tour guide.

Mat slung his arm around your shoulders, pulling you in tight to him. You could feel his muscles tense under his thin t-shirt, and your breath caught in your throat. Some part of you had known he was attractive this whole time; you’d just never been forced to pay attention until this exact moment when you were pressed up against him. You pushed the thoughts to a far corner of your mind. This was your friend Mat and you didn’t need anything more than that from him. You didn’t want it, you told yourself.

Seven.

- Seconds left on the clock. You were pretty sure you hadn’t breathed for the last 5 minutes of the game and you were gripping your seat so hard that your knuckles were starting to go numb. The Islanders were down by one going into the last two minutes against Tampa Bay. Tito had scored to create a 3-3 game with just over a minute on the clock to play. You didn’t want this to go into overtime and neither did the guys. They wanted to complete the comeback win here and now.

You watched as Mat shifted the puck side to side on the ice. You saw him glance up at the clock for a brief second, then he looked back towards the net and he saw his shot. He took it without any hesitation. You were on your feet before the puck hit the back of the net. Mat was immediately engulfed by his teammates, swallowed up in a sea of blue and orange jerseys. His games practically gave you a heart attack, but you’d never turn him down if he asked you to come and he asked you to come a lot.

“Hey there, superstar,” you said, the smile in your voice obvious as you met Mat in the tunnel after he’d finished up his interviews and changed.

“Hey there,” he laughed, giving your shoulder a little shove

You looked around as you walked out with him. He was walking you through that final shot, second by second, but you couldn’t focus on his story. You saw the girlfriends, fiancées, and wives of the other players greeting their respective partners and for a split second you let yourself imagine that with Mat. You hadn’t really thought about it before, but as soon as let that wall down and the flood gates opened, and your feelings for Mat hit you square in the stomach. You wanted to be like them, have what they have, and for a split second, you let yourself want that with him. You wanted him to look at you like the other guys looked at their girlfriends and wives.

“Um, hello?” Mat’s large hang waving in front of your face pulled you out of your moment.

“Oh, sorry. Can you start over? I got a little sidetracked.”

“You okay?” he asked, concern coating the words and his brows furrowing.

“Super-duper, superstar. Try me again.”  

Six.

“-Entrées is way too many. Look, I know you’re practically a championship level competitive eater for fun, but this feels like an exercise of your skills we don’t need to practice.”

“Two things. One, calling pancakes an entrée is a little much. It’s just pancakes,” you retorted, “and two, they serve six different kinds of pancakes here, so I’m getting six kinds of pancakes. Join me or get the hell out.”

Mat’s nose scrunched up as he laughed at your response. God, you loved his laugh. You loved it most when you were responsible for it, not the girl he met at the bar last night who was definitely responsible for the marks peeking out from under his shirt. Seeing those when he sat down made you felt like all the air had left the room. You shrugged off your thoughts as best as you could. Mat wasn’t yours to be possessive of, but that didn’t make the pit in your stomach settle either. You took a sip of your orange juice as Mat’s laughter slowed.

“God, how do I still think you’re cool even though that was super lame?” he asked you, stealing your water since his hungover self practically chugged his when he arrived

“Barzy, some things in the world are magical and they’re better left unexplored and unexplained.”

“Like all women,” he said proudly, like he’d discovered something profound.

You rolled your eyes at him. Even when he was an idiot, you still wished he was your idiot and not some girl at the bar’s idiot, but you wouldn’t risk this. This friendship was too important to you to jeopardize for your stupid middle school girl pinning. You put your feelings back in the box they’d let themselves out of just as the pancakes arrived.

Five.

“You think you’d had five drinks tonight?” Your eyebrow is arched as you look back at an incredibly hammered Barzy. You knew he had to be at least eight deep, more like ten, but instead you said, “Are you sure it’s five?”

Mat nodded profusely, looking more like his bobblehead then himself in that moment. You turned your palms up at him and shrugged a bit, giving him a look of complete disbelief. He proudly put down his beer and yanked his sleeve up to show you his wrist. On his wrist were five incredibly smudged tally marks of various lengths. He hadn’t even managed to realize you were supposed to cross the last one across the other four for every set of five, so there were just five incredibly crooked lines drawn on his wrist in Sharpie.

“See? Five tally marks, five drinks,” he told you, like you were the idiot in this situation.

You nodded in fake understanding as an incredible drunk Mat reached for you. He was significantly touchier with you when he was drunk, his large hands always finding your skin and making a series of thoughts you shouldn’t have run through your brain as your heartbeat picked up in your chest. His hands rested on your upper arms this time as he lined himself up with you, forcing you to make eye contact.

“I’m fine. Don’t you worry about ol’ Barzy here,” he slurred.

“You’re twenty-two,” you laughed. “Hardly makes you an old man, my friend. Come on, I called an Uber. Let’s go.”

You took on of his hands from your arm and held it, dragging him slowly out of the party. He had the attention span of a golden retriever puppy when he was drunk, so it was a good thing you had some practice with this and started your journey to the car ten minutes before your Uber was supposed to arrive. By the time you made it outside, it was already waiting for you. You gave him one small shove and he practically fell right into the car.

“You know,” Mat told you as the car started to roll away from the party, “you’re a really good friend, ya know.”  

You smiled at him but turned your face away quickly as you felt the tears start to sting in your eyes. Maybe it’s the few drinks you’d had yourself, but Mat calling you a good friend was definitely supposed to feel good, but all it was make your heart clench inside your chest. It confirmed everything you were feeling. You and Mat were friends, good to great friends even, but that’s how he saw you, his friend. You never wanted to be the kind of person that complained about someone not liking them back, but you finally understood where everyone else was coming from. This feeling was awful in a way you couldn’t quite describe. It was like a hand had reached into you, found the place where your feelings for Mat where, and squeezed hard, except that hand wasn’t actually all too careful to target that one spot and instead squeezed everything inside your chest until you could barely catch your breath and the tears were rolling down your cheeks. Thank god that Mat had way more than five drinks and was already asleep against the opposite window because you couldn’t keep it together the entire ride home.

Four.

“You really want four dogs at once?” The disagreement coated Mat’s voice. “That’s a lot of dogs at once. I think you need to reconsider this part of your life plan.”

“Four is a very reasonable number,” you replied, not even bothering to look up from your phone. “And this is my twenty-year plan here, Mat, not yours. You don’t get a say.”

“I’m your best friend. I deserve a say here if I think you’re going to screw up part of your life,” he countered. “You’re going to be beholden to these creatures. And you’re gonna have four of them! They’re going to need you constantly. You’re not going to have time for anything else.”

“I do plan on like, having someone around at some point,” you reminded him. “Step nine of this plan was to find that man, finally, and one of the key criteria is that is likes dogs, so he’ll help share the workload.”

“And then you really only have two dogs,” Mat mumbles under his breath as he start to nod in understanding. “Okay, okay, I concede. You’re right, four is the correct number of dogs.”

You laughed in response to his agreement, “Now I’ve just got to find a man and convince him like I convinced you.”

“Took you all of a minute to get me on board with your plan here. I’d sign up to co-parent four dogs with you. You’re gonna be a killer pet parent. I’m sure you can get some other schmuck to agree with you. He’s not going to be as hot as me though, so that’s going to be a downgrade for you right there.” You didn’t let his words sink in. You let them flow right out of your head as soon as they came in. It was for the best, you told yourself.

Three.

- Hours into your co-worker’s engagement party and you were about ready to scream. If one more platter of engagement cookies with their initials and faces came past you, you were going to explode. The only reason you’d make it this long was Mat and the fact he tipped the bartender big time when you got your first drink, so he was making you doubles and triples when he was only supposed to pour singles at the open bar.

“This sucks,” you sighed to him, taking a swig of your drink.

“This party is fucking pathetic,” he said to you. “How are people this boring before they’re thirty? I just don’t understand. If I ever get engaged to someone who wants to have cookies with our faces on them at our engagement party, please shoot me.”

“I expect you to do the same if I ever think that’s a good idea,” you laughed as your spoke.

“You know what,” Mat paused only to down the remaining third of his drink in one go, “it’s time to blow this popsicle stand.”

“Jesus, Mat, they haven’t even made a toast yet or anything. We can’t leave yet,” you tried to remind him, even though it was completely half-assed since you might have been more miserable than him.

“Oh, come on, be irresponsible. Let’s go do something actually fun,” Mat said, leaning into you as he spoke. “You’re in a killer dress. You look incredible. There’s this cool bar down the road I’ve been wanting to try, and we’re dressed for the occasion.”

You scrunched up your nose as you thought. You wanted out, but you also really didn’t want to be rude since you’d have to show up to work on Monday regardless. Mat took your drink from you as you thought, taking care of the rest of your glass with ease even though the bottom quarter was definitely straight vodka due to how slow you’d been drinking. He looked at you, his eyes softly begging for you to get the hell out of here with him. You sighed and grabbed one of his hands, making your way towards the back exit. You couldn’t see the smile on his face, but you felt his fingers slide between yours as he gave your hand an appreciative squeeze.

Two.  

- Times that you’ve almost told him how you feel in the last month. The holiday season had you feeling particularly emotional in general due to a combination of Hallmark movies and the holiday parties’ people were having were giving you a few too many opportunities to be drunk around Mat. Drunk you was a little looser lipped than sober you. Both times started and ended the same way.

“Hey, Mat, can I talk to you for a quick sec?”

You placed your hand on his shoulder as he spoke, pulling him slightly so he’d turn to face you. Each time he agreed and followed you away from the crowd, tucked away in a less traffic area of the party.

“What’s up? Are you too drunk? Do you need to head out? I can call an Uber. Or should I call a Lyft?” he asked in rapid succession.

“No, no,” you shook your head. “I, uh, I wanted to tell you something actually.”

“Okay, shoot,” he replied instantly. “You know you can tell me anything.”

Your mouth went dry as the desert and your carefully rehearsed speech dissolved in your mind. You looked at him, his eyes dark as his traced over your face, trying to figure out what could have been important enough for you to pull him away from the party. Your eyes danced across his face, his strong jawline, his kind eyes, his soft lips. You wanted him. You wanted him so badly it hurt, but the idea of losing him from your life kept your mouth shut both times.

“You know what. Actually, it’s nothing. I figured it out myself. Let’s go get another drink.”

One.

You snapped back to the current moment, pulling your head out of the past. You watched the clock turn to 11:59pm.

“Sorry, I zoned out there,” you told him.

“It’s alright. Tito dropped in when you faded off, so no hard feelings,” he laughed as he spoke, “Um, actually, there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about and I guess, why not start the new year off with a bang?”

You took a deep breath in as you looked over Mat’s face curiously. He was nervous. His hands were fidgeting with his cup. He was shuffling from side to side, foot to foot, transferring his weight with each movement. He looked down at the ground, unable to meet your eyes and mumbled something you couldn’t hear. The countdown for the last twenty seconds had already started, so there was too much background noise to catch his words.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you?” You had to shout to make sure he heard you.

“I like you!” he screamed back. “Fuck that, I’m in love you with and I really, really fucking don’t want to see you kiss anyone else at ten seconds because I’m pretty sure it’ll break me at this point.”

Ten. Your mind was racing. Nine. Mat wanted to kiss you. Eight. Mat liked you like you liked him. Seven. No, Mat loved you. Six. He took a step closer to you. Five. He was so nervous, nervous he’d just ruined everything because you still hadn’t said anything. Four. Your feelings burst out from the box you’d put them in, running through your body, making your heart rate kick up in your chest. Three. Mat leaned his face closer to yours. Two. Your eyes locked with his. One. You rocked up on your toes and pressed your lips against his.

His hands found your hips, pulling you desperately closer to him, practically crushing you against his chest, but his lips were soft and gentle against yours. The room exploded into cheers around you, everyone celebrating the ball drop and the new year, but you barely noticed them, until you pulled back from Mat. His eyes scanned your face, trying to figure out exactly what you were feeling.

“I love you too, Mat.”

“Thank God,” he chuckled to himself as he leaned down to kiss you again, “and happy fucking New Year to me.”

[tuiyla]

So I finally watched The Owl House

I wish I’d do this with every show I watch but it seems like only a lucky few get the She-Ra style rant of love treatment. Well, I finally watched The Owl House after my dash having been flooded for the past couple of weeks and I have some thoughts. Slight spoilers below.

First off, I love the whole vibe. I had a faint idea that this show would be about magic but I didn’t know much before watching - except for one thing, we’ll get back to that. The way it builds its world and deals with magic, though, is so refreshing. And I just have to mention here that I laughed out loud at all the Harry Potter jabs, they were hilarious. I expect we’ll learn much more about magic and its users as the show goes on but as far as the first season goes the introduction was really solid. It strikes the right balance between leaving things to the imagination but being more than “wave wand and magic happens”. It’s colourful, it’s creative, and I even like the ovens and school tracks, despite knowing that the story is about not conforming to those. It makes the Boiling Isles unique and make me want to learn more about the world even beyond the characters and the main plot.

TOH also presents a world that’s much more macabre than I was expecting from the Disney Channel, not that that’s a bad thing. I found myself thinking of Adventure Time at certain points and pondering, at scary moments, how kids would react. I think kids love this, though, and besides, nothing can be more scarring than Courage the Cowardly Dog was. It’s not that terrifying, of course, just daring enough to stand out. Overall the show has what I would classify as more of a Cartoon Network vibe than a Disney Channel one, but I admittedly haven’t really been following many Disney shows. In any case, I dig it. I dig the weird creatures and the beautiful backgrounds and I appreciate how alive the Boiling Isles feel. It doesn’t take long for TOH to immerse you in its world so I’m for one am hooked.

I make a big deal of loving the world itself because rarely does it happen that world-building stands out to me so soon in a series. I do love carefully constructed fantasy worlds but for the most part I’m more interested in the characters themselves. Here, I’d say it’s close to being a 50-50, which is something that even Avatar can’t say with its elemental masterclass in world-building (which is mostly because the character depth there is unrivaled but still). So yeah, kudos to The Owl House for achieving this. From Luz’s glyph magic to the covens and the titans, I’m excited to explore this world more.

Now, the characters. The real meat of any story. Starting with Luz, I have seen some criticism that she’s a generic hero so far, the “I’m a weirdo”, heart of gold, upbeat variety. I don’t think this makes her bland, though I do admit that being told over and over again that she’s weird makes me less engaged, even she’s also shown to be weird. I like the message of her arc and that the chosen one trope was deconstructed almost right away. I like that she’s relentlessly enthusiastic and kind to people and I like that she doesn’t have to get more bitter in order to get development. Instead, she learns from her mistakes but keeps being herself and brings her unique spirit to the Boiling Isles. We need protagonists like Luz, not just because she’s latina and bisexual but because her learning process doesn’t involve cynicism. Sure, there is a lot she needs to learn but her heart is presented as an asset and a sort of source of magic. I’m excited to see where her story goes, for sure.

I’m gonna write briefly about the other characters before I get to my favourite one. Eda is super cool and I quickly got over the fact that she’s not Beatrice Horseman, lol. She embodies such a youthful energy but the show also allows her to be a middle-aged woman comfortable in her own body - well, owl curse notwithstanding. Also, her relationship with Lilith is one of my favourite parts of the whole show. Eda subverts so many of the mentor’s traditional tropes and I’m here for it. I kinda thought she was the villain based on her design and when I didn’t know anything about the show but hey, happy she’s not.

I don’t think I’d even seen a picture of King before starting to watch the series and at first I thought I’d get tired of him real quick. He’s the type of character who can get really annoying instead of endearing really fast if he’s not given any depth or charm, both by way of writing and voice acting. Luckily, I ended up liking King and his antics. His design is indeed adorable and Alex Hirsch is a genius. The only time I felt like he went too far was, perhaps surprisingly, in the book writing episode, “Sense and Insensitivity”, but even there going too far was the point. So yeah, King’s also great, there’s much potential in his backstory and general character.

Alright so really quickly, other characters: Willow and Gus are generic best friend characters and though they already have other things going on, I expect more development as the series progresses. I like that Willow is actually super powerful, just not in the way people expected her to and Gus is clearly also talented despite being younger. I’d be happy to see more of the other kids, get more familiar with Hexside. Edric and Emira are fun characters but they were really shitty in their first episode so I was kind of surprised they weren’t more of a nuisance to Amity later on. I’m all for supportive siblings so I wouldn’t mind a good relationship between the three but I feel like it’s more complicated than that with the Blights.

Finally, I also have to mention that Hooty is... well, quite something, isn’t he. Much like with King, I thought he’d be much more annoying but somehow the show is self-aware enough that it makes Hooty tolerable. I’m almost always torn between feeling sorry for him and being thoroughly weirded out, and I think that’s the intention? It’s fitting that he’s the titular character as he embodies the tone of The Owl House well in my eyes. He’s there for the comedy but there’s just enough there to hint at something more. Very bizarre, strong CN vibes, here for it.

Now that I’ve written a paragraph more about Hooty than I expected to, let’s talk about Amity. Listen, no other character stood a chance to be my favourite as soon as I learned Mae Whitman voiced Amity. That woman gave me Katara so now I have a quasi Pavlovian response to her voice. I’d also say that I knew more about Amity going into the show than I did about any other aspect of TOH. I heard somewhere that she started out as an antagonist, I knew her parents were abusive, and the reason the show blew up on my dash and my general online bubble is the Grom episode. Lucikly I only saw stills of Lumity beneath the crescent moon but the pure Sapphic energy of that was enough to gay migrate me to this show. I’d like to note it here though that The Owl House is a good show in and of itself, the queer rep is just a nice extra. I’m gonna spend the next couple hundred words going on about Amity and her crush on Luz but I don’t value only that. The Gay Migration is great and rep is great but I’m also grateful to have a solid show behind it. That being said.

I’m a total dyke for Amity Blight. I was very biased before even being introduced to her character but I genuinely find her to be fascinating and she has great potential. She’s developing quite quickly, like much of The Owl House, but an arc not being stretched out for several seasons before getting a rushed conclusion is refreshing. The progress hits all the beats and the only note I have is that I want more. She starts out as a generic bully but the opportunity to be more is there from the beginning. We find out early on that she used to be friends with Willow, we see that she works hard and values honest work. When she becomes Luz’s rival, it doesn’t last long before Amity shows that she’s open to new perspectives. That’s not to defend or even justify her earlier and nastier moments, Amity was rude to both Luz and Willow. But through all that, she becomes a complex character who does bad things but isn’t a bad person and grows when she gets the space to. I think that’s neat.

Luz’s decision to befriend her might be cartoon logic but as someone who subscribes to the “kill them with kindness” ideology, I can totally relate. Amity’s softer side doesn’t take long to show and “Lost in Language” is such a great episode to show how complex people can be. Again, I was already biased when it came to Amity but she’s consistently shown to be capable of self-reflection and growth when others give her the chance. I think her past and potential future friendship with Willow is a great way to explore many different topics and I’m trusting the show to do it justice. I also can’t wait to meet the rest of the Blights, if only to get me some angst and further develop Amity. I half expected Grom to take the form of her parents. Too dark for Disney? Well, we don’t know Amity’s dynamic with her parents, exactly, but there’s so much subtext and potential. I love what we’ve already seen from her but I’d also say that she has one of the greatest potentials in the show.

Another way in which this potential manifests is Lumity, of course. Again, they’re developing quite quickly but that doesn’t mean it’s rushed. I’d love to explore Amity’s crush more and what Luz means to her. The Grom episode surpassed all expectations, still and gifs don’t do the stunning dance sequence justice. The animation is so smooth, the colours are amazing, the music is on point and the Sapphic vibes complete the picture. Poetic cinema, truly. Molly Ostertag and Noelle Stevenson are really out there giving wlw animation fans everything we ever wanted, huh. It also warms my heart that the crush is made very clear, not just by Luz’s name being on the note but by the delightful gay disaster that is Amity in “Wing It Like Witches”. I never thought I’d ever see such a relatable useless lesbian in animation so kudos to Dana Terrace and the whole crew. Wow, how far we’ve come.

So yeah, Amity is a funky little lesbian and I’m a 100% here for her gay disaster moments, but I also love where Lumity is going thematically. They’re great as foils and I’m hoping that they won’t get together at the very end. Look, I love me some Bubbline, Korrasami and Catradora, but it’s time a wlw relationship had the chance to exist onscreen and not only in the last episode. The Owl House has a great chance to do that. I know the creators don’t want romance to be the main focus and I respect that, I think the world they created deserves to showcased and explored to its full potential. Lumity could be a great subplot though, as representation on the one hand and as a thematically interesting dynamic on the other. Plus, Luz and Amity are just cute and sometimes, it’s as simple as that. Oh, and also the whole Little Miss Perfect thing? One of the best fandom discoveries I’ve made in a long while. Not only is the song truly perfect for Amity, I love that Joriah Kwamé went on to write Ordinary as well. This right here is why fandom is beautiful.

I think that’s about it for season 1 initial thoughts. The moral can be a bit on the nose at times, especially in the early episodes but the show is ultimately for kids and I appreciate its message. Interesting world and magic system, good characters, great potential for later seasons, just a well put together show that I’m really glad I started watching. I’m kind of sorry I didn’t keep up with season 1 as it was coming out but I would not have been able to wait between episodes. The pacing is good overall, deffo moves fast but I wouldn’t call it rushed, and the “filler” episodes still add something to the story. I’m not sure if I would still feel like the show moves at a fast pace if I hadn’t binged it but in any case it isn’t rushed, the necessary beats are all there and have time to sit. I’m going to watch as it comes out from now on so hopefully season 2 will arrive early next year.

Oh, and: I’m very new to the fandom, barely just found out about Little Miss Perfect, so any and all tidbits, fun facts, and fic recommendations are welcome. Also if you just want to chat my inbox is always open!

[9pandas]

I recently ran into a post on here where there was some disagreement about the importance of blood sacrifice in the christian religion. As a studious and dedicated former christian it was very disturbing to me to see that there were people out there who did not seem to understand some of the core tenets of their own christian religion. It is incredibly important that people understand the full beliefs of any religion that they are a part of so they can make educated decisions about how to handle their personal spiritual journey.

Therefore I have written a long (8 page???) essay on basic white evangelical christianity and its relationship with blood sacrifices. 

I will explain in full under the cut if anyones interested as this is incredibly long.

Christianity’s central core tenant is undeniably our complete reliance on blood sacrifice for salvation.

I will be speaking about the beliefs of your generic american evangelical church as I don’t know much about other sects of christianities beliefs. And will be referred to these beliefs are christian beliefs because I'm lazy and don't wanna type that much.

I will be relying on memories from my twenty sum years in multiple churches as well as the numerous bible studies I was in; including but not limited to several by Beth Moore and Kay Arthur including her Covenant and Jeremiah studies. 

I will be using the New American Standard Bible (NSAB)for all bible passages unless indicated otherwise.

This will include some beliefs that are really fucking anti-Semitic. These are the beliefs of the groups discussed and not my own.

I do not believe any of the things I will be discussing. I did for many years, but I have learned, grown, and changed and no longer do.

We’ll start with the covenants and original sin and then a small communion rant..

We’re gonna go through the bible in the order of the books in the NASB and the whole fucking blood sacrifice thing is wrapped up in the idea of these covenants (fancy christian word for promise or deal that's super old timey/biblical or a serious religious commitment like a marriage covenant or your relationship with god) god made with different people and groups of people. I’ll only be going through the big covenants and as some of them don’t really apply, I’ll just give a quick summary of those ones.

One of the crucial things you'll have to understand is the concept of original sin also known as sin nature.

Pretty much christians believe that when Adam and Eve fucked up in Genesis 3 by eating the fruit that all their descendants (all the people) got “infected” with sin. Like everyone has badness inside of them (Sin Nature = the ability to fuck up sometimes) and that god cannot be around that infection, that badness because he is the opposite of that badness and they cannot coexist because he gets like a migraine or rage episode or something IDK, so he had to do all this stuff so some of us wouldn’t be separated from him forever (sent to hell). 

Side note: most christians believe you won’t get automatically sent to hell due to having a sin nature. They believe that your brain must be developed enough to “understand” right from wrong and must have the ability to sin or misbehave on purpose to be sent to hell for your sins. There is no biblical passage I can cite for this its just what many chrisitans have decided to be canon. Some christians believe you gain responsibility for your actions around age 3, some around age 13, and some believe it just depends on your personal brain development and that there is no real way for us to tell.

Anyway what god did to “save” us from hell as a punishment for being people who can sin (fuck up sometimes) is all about the blood and the covenants:

NOAHIC (Genesis 9:8-17)

The first, like, BIG covenant is called the Noahic Covenant where god promises not to kill everyone again with a flood. It's not really important to my point but here ya go. 

This covenant involves the deaths of pretty much everyone in a rage killing by god because he thought they were wicked (Genesis 6:5-7).

ABRAHAMIC (Genesis 12,15)

The next important one is the Abrahamic Covenant. In Genesis 12:1-9 god just like tells Abraham to leave his life and wander off with his wife and that god will make a great nation from him and make his name famous in a good way and punish everyone who's a dick to abraham. And then after he leaves and gets to a good area god tells Abraham that god’s gonna give him this particular land.

And then like some stuff happens and later in Genesis 15 things get really weird and taken probably wildly out of context by christians.

Verse 1-7 Abraham is like god you said I’d have descendants but I don't have any kids so what the fucks up with that. And gods like, I'm badass, don't doubt me dude. And god has Abraham grab some animals (ram, birds) and cut them in half (not all the birds). And some vulture type birds come and eat the carcasses and Abraham drives them away and then falls asleep. Then god tells Abraham to trust him again and night comes. Then a smoking oven thing and a torch appear and like float back and forth between that animal parts and god promises again everything he’s promised before.

Now the fuck do we care?

 It's because this is the first covenant god makes to Abraham that leads to Jesus. And christians believe they are the spiritual descendants of Abraham replacing all biological descendants in the eyes of god and therefore any promises made to Abraham about his descendants are applicable to christians and not to Jews, Muslims, or any other groups. 

This covenant also involves the blood of animals. Christians believe that this is one of the proofs that all covenants must be “sealed” in blood. This makes the promise more like a business contract and makes it extra hard to get out of. Like a pinky promise verses a regular promise because you killed something or someone.

Next is the MOSAIC COVENANT

Ok, so if you don't know at this point Abraham had some kids and they had some kids and they all moved to Egypt where they are all slaves and there are tons of them now and they’re called Israelites and pretty much it the Prince of Egypt happening now. So the one Israelite kid Moses gets adopted/raised by like Pharaohs daughter or wife (some English versions say different things) and then kills some dude and runs to the dessert for like years and then Moses sees this bush that's on literal fire (but not being damaged by the fire) and god or an angel (it depends on what version you are looking at) speaks through this bush and tell Moses to go rescue the Israelites from slavery and he goes and talks to Pharaoh (who he like knows) and Pharaoh is like hell no; and then god punishes Egypt until Pharaoh sends the Israelites off into the dessert and some stuff happens and then they all camp out by this mountain Sinai and god tells Moses in (Exodus 19) that if the people hold to his covenant with them they’ll be his special awesome chosen people.

Again this according to christian beliefs. I understand that other religions believe differently about this passage. Christians believe they have replaced these people in god’s eyes and that this covenant ended with the death of Jesus and was replaced with a new one; we will get there.

And then in Exodus 24 they all make the covenant official and have a little ceremony.  

Exodus 24:5 And he sent young men of the sons of Israel, and they offered burnt offerings and sacrificed bulls as peace offerings to the Lord. 6 Moses took half of the blood and put it in basins, and the other half of the blood he sprinkled on the altar. 7 Then he took the Book of the Covenant and read it [c]as the people listened; and they said, “All that the Lord has spoken we will do, and we will be obedient!” 8 So Moses took the blood and sprinkled it on the people, and said, “Behold the blood of the covenant, which the Lord has [d]made with you [e]in accordance with all these words.”

Again, this covenant was cemented/sealed with the the spilling of blood. And christians believe all the sacrificial laws in the OT are part of this covenant so I will go into christian belief about one of these sacrifices and what role they believe this sacrifice plays in this covenant..

Ok so we’re going to be using Leviticus chapter 1

The sacrifice is the burnt offering.

Christians believe this was offered in atonement of sin. This is a hugely important one to remember to understand the beliefs I will be laying out when I tie this all together later.

Leviticus 1:4-5

4 And he shall lay his hand on the head of the burnt offering, so that it may be accepted for him to make atonement on his behalf. 5 Then he shall [a]slaughter the [b]bull before the Lord; and Aaron’s sons the priests shall offer up the blood and sprinkle the blood around on the altar that is at the doorway of the tent of meeting

So christian believe that you would magically transfer your sins onto this animal and the animal would then be killed to assuage god's anger at your sin. 

They call this the principle of substitution. The animals blood supposedly “covered” the sin of the person so god’s “sin-dar” wouldn’t go off and so he wouldn’t “have to” send that person to hell.

This is an example of a blood sacrifice to avoid punishment for your sin.

DAVIDIC COVENANT (2 Samuel 9)

This one just said that David’s kids would be kings forever and is used by christians as proof that Jesus was the chosen, special one who is the true king and totally the best ever. Because again they believe they have replaced the Jews as god's favs and that Jesus is their legit prophesied god/king. They believe that this covenant is still in effect as Jesus rose from the dead and is still alive and will return to establish a perfect kingdom on earth later after the rapture and shit (no I won’t go into end time stuff right now)

AND NOW THE NEW COVENANT

It's called the New Covenant or the Everlasting Covenant.

It is the deal christians believe they have with god right now. It's the covenant they believe they are under. The believe this covenant is what protects them from eternal damnation.

Christians legit believe that the only way to be cleaned enough from the sin nature/”ability to fuck up” you inherited from Adam and Eve is to either die and suffer in hell or sacrifice someone/something else.  Because as Romans 6:23 lays out “For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” This is believed to be saying that the deserved punishment for sin is death. (And in this context death is believed to mean death as it would be without divine intervention. Death and eternal punishment in hell. Because remember, christians believe god is saving them from hell by cleansing them of the sin that he cannot tolerate to be around due to his divine nature that he cannot change.) and that by utilizing the death of Jesus we can be saved from that punishment. 

What does that mean?

They believe that in the OT people used animals but that it was a placeholder until Jesus made it down to us and died as the last sacrifice needed. He's special enough to count for everyone as a sacrifice because he was human but had never sinned because he was god as well but still todally human. 

And to be saved from punishment, for the sacrifice to “count” for you, you must be spiritually cleaned in his blood. That's why they say shit like “I plead the blood” and “let your blood make me white as snow” and all that fuckign wierd ass shit. They believe that by “accepting Jesus into your heart as your lord and savior” he actually, like, bonds with your soul and cleans it with the power of his sacrifice.

Like you magically put your sin onto Jesus, he died, and not that sin doesn’t “cling” to your soul because his blood cleaned you.

Here's their evidence:

Back to the Old Testament: Jeremiah 31:31-34

31 “Behold, days are coming,” declares the Lord, “when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, 32 not like the covenant which I made with their fathers on the day I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, although I was a husband to them,” declares the Lord. 33 “For this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days,” declares the Lord: “I will put My law within them and write it on their heart; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. 34 They will not teach again, each one his neighbor and each one his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they will all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them,” declares the Lord, “for I will forgive their wrongdoing, and their sin I will no longer remember.”

Christians believe that this is the first mention of the New Covenant. They believe they have fully replaced “the house of Israel and the house of Judah” and are now living under the terms of this new deal with god promised in this passage. 

A couple days before he dies at dinner with hid buddies Jesus said:

Luke 22:14-20

14 When the hour came, He reclined at the table, and the apostles with Him. 15 And He said to them, “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer; 16 for I say to you, I shall not eat it again until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God.” 17 And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He said, “Take this and share it among yourselves; 18 for I say to you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine from now on until the kingdom of God comes.” 19 And when He had taken some bread and given thanks, He broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is My body, which is being given for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” 20 And in the same way He took the cup after they had eaten, saying, “This cup, which is poured out for you, is the new covenant in My blood.” 

Verse 16: I shall not eat it again until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God.

Verse 18: for I say to you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine from now on until the kingdom of God comes.

It's believed that Jesus is saying he won't eat/drink until he dies and his death fulfills the sacrificial need that must be met for christians to “be saved”. The kingdom of god will come when Jesus dies and the need (christians believe they have) to be cleaned in blood is met because once people can be cleaned in blood then the kingdom will be fulfilled and will have come. Does that make sense???? Jesus dies, people can be cleaned of badness, and that is the kingdom of god aka life under the new covenant (and some end time stuff that I will NOT do into right now).

Verse 20: And in the same way He took the cup after they had eaten, saying, “This cup, which is poured out for you, is the new covenant in My blood.” 

Christians believe that Jesus is saying here that the new covenant (that christians believe protects them from hell right now) was made using the blood of Jesus to save them.

SUMMARY

Christians believe that when Jesus died on the cross he took on all the sin of 2 groups of people:

The first group is: All the people who would have believed he is the legit son of god, also god (I am not going in to the trinity right now guys), if they had heard prior to his birth

The second group is: All the people who believed he is the legit son of god and god after his birth

And with his death cleaned all their sin off of them so they could be with god in heaven because they had no more sin for gods “sin-dar” to detect.

If we didn’t need Jesus to sacrifice himself to clean us from our sin then why did we need him at all? Without the need for Jesus blood there is no need for christianity. Christianity is all about the blood, all about the blood, all about the blood of Jesus. Because what can make me whole again? What can cleanse me white as snow? No other fount I know, nothing but the blood of Jesus.

And all chrisitians should know this because this is literally what communion is about. This is literally every good Friday service.

What is Communion and what does that have to do with all this?

For those of you who don’t know communion is a thing christians do usually do during the singing part at the beginning of a church service. It's a ritual to remember how Jesus died to save them from the punishment of their sins. Essentially it's a re-enactment of the scene from the verses I put in earlier Luke 22:14-20. 

So everyone gets a little cup of grape juice or sometimes real wine for the adults and a little piece of bread and everyone eats it and drinks it and thinks about how lucky they are that Jesus saved them from the punishment they believe they deserve.

Communion is literally remembering and spiritually partaking in and acknowledging this blood sacrifice that Jesus made.

1 Corinthians 11:23-26

23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus, on the night when He was betrayed, took bread; 24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “This is My body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” 25 In the same way He also took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood; do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.” 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes.

And if you “do” communion with the wrong attitude can and sometimes does punish you. There's a story in the bible about a church that all got brain tumors from god because they had communion with the wrong attitude but a quick google search isn’t giving me the reference for that so if anyone knows that one please share it with me!

But here's more from Corinthians about Communion and appropriate gratefulness:

1 Corinthians 11:27-32

27 Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy way, shall be guilty of the body and the blood of the Lord. 28 But a person must examine himself, and in so doing he is to eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For the one who eats and drinks, eats and drinks judgment to himself if he does not properly recognize the [p]body. 30 For this reason many among you are weak and sick, and a number [q]are asleep. 31 But if we judged ourselves rightly, we would not be judged. 32 But when we are judged, we are disciplined by the Lord so that we will not be condemned along with the world.

It says that if you do “not properly recognize the [p]body” during communion you are bringing punishment on yourself. This means that if you do not show appropriate gratitude for Jesus' blood sacrifice for you, you can be punished by god; but “ we judged ourselves rightly, we would not be judged.” If you show appropriate gratitude for Jesus' blood sacrifice THEN you will be cleansed and allowed into heaven. 

IN CONCLUSION

The blood of Jesus, the blood sacrifice Jesus made, is part of every aspect of christianity. It is the core of christian beliefs. You cannot deny that the need for a blood sacrifice is the literal core of christianity. Without the need for blood, there is no need for Jesus.

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

Far From the Shallow

Day 31 of 2018′s 31 Days of Ficmas.  Thanks to @doctorroseprompts for the list!  Note: new for 2020.  Credited as 2018 for organizational purposes, & back-filling the prompt.

Prompt: Midnight

Rating: General, with occasional strong language

Pairing: 12xRose, Human!AU, SuperStar!AU, vaguely A Star is Born!AU

Summary:  In an effort to combat low ticket sales, Ian Noble’s record label insists he takes to the Times Square New Year’s Eve stage with the label’s newest pop princess - but it’s a backup singer that captures his attention.

2018 31 Days of Ficmas masterlist

AO3

---

Resettling his sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, Ian Noble paused for a deep breath before pushing into the practice room.  He still wasn’t entirely clear on how his manager had convinced him to do this, but it was too late now to pull out and he’d just have to grin and bear it.

“Right, ready to start kiddies?”

His fleeting hope of finding a bunch of professionals on the other side of the door was quickly dashed. His band was ready, as always, but they were the only ones.  His ‘partner’ was nowhere to be seen, her backup singers/dancers/hangers-on lazing around the room, laughing and joking.  A few dancers were stretching at the barre, but that was it.

Shaking his head in disgust, he headed for his bandleader and dropped his bag at his feet.  “All good?”

“We’re ready,” Craig confirmed.  “She’s not here yet.”

“Of-fucking-course not.” ‘She’ was the current Pop Princess – Serenity Lake.  Twenty-two years old, she was every bit the bubblegum-pink, super-sweet platinum blonde teeny-bopper he loathed above all else – except unprofessionalism.  Though, it seemed, she was that as well. “Practice started when?”

“At three.”

“And it’s now?”

“Three-oh-five.”

“Can we start without her?”

Craig exchanged looks with their drummer, Rob.  “I don’t think that would go over very well.”

Ian bit his tongue, hard. The sales for his last tour had been… not great (Clara, his manager, had used the word catastrophic), and it had been decided by PR people and good-for-nothing label execs that he needed to ‘reach new crowds’, even though the album itself had sold well.  One of the arse-wipe suits had decided the perfect time and place was a duet with the label’s newest acquisition.  On New Year’s Eve in Times Square, New York.

Perhaps Clara had made the right call by telling him over the phone while he was already on the plane under false pretenses.

“So we just wait then, til the fucking princess arrives?”

The band shrugged, and he shook his head in disgust before turning his back on them.  The practice room was large, easily the size of a ballroom, with industrial-sized windows opposite a mirrored wall, complete with ballet barre.  Two of the female dancers were still warming up, while another four sat around chatting up the men.  Two backup singers were sprawled on mats, with no sign of the usual third.

“Is everyone else here at least?”

“Actually-”

Craig was interrupted by the door swinging open, a young blonde in workout clothes hurrying in with a tray of drinks from Starbucks.  Rage ignited inside Ian, and before he consciously made the decision he strode across the room towards her.

“You!  Blondie!”

She startled slightly, turning to face him.  “Me?”

“Yes, you.  Aren’t you supposed to be a professional?  We’ve been waiting for you!  You might be queen on your own fucking tour, but now you’re wasting my time, and my band’s time.  I don’t like this arrangement any fucking more than you do, but it’s what the High fucking Council of Douchebags wants, so it’s what we’re going to do.  Get over yourself, dig deep for some fucking work ethic, and let’s get through this so we can both get on with our fucking lives!”

Rant over, he settled his hands on his hips, still glaring at her.  To his horror and disgust tears had welled in her eyes, though they hadn’t fallen yet.  That just confirmed that she would be a flash in the pan; if she’d gotten this far without developing a thicker shell, she wouldn’t get much further.  Maybe she had a bulldog manager that treated her like the fucking princess she thought she was; maybe she was shagging one of the label heads and used that to get what she wanted.  He honestly didn’t care; he just wanted to get the show over with.

“Well are you going to say anything?” he snapped.

“I’m Rose,” she whispered.

“What?”

“I’m Rose, I’m Serenity- Miss Lake’s new backup singer.  She texted me- well her assistant did- that they were stuck in traffic and had me go out to get some tea.”

He never would’ve been able to hear her, if the room wasn’t dead silent.  No one seemed to be breathing; he sure as fuck wasn’t, as he realized the enormity of his mistake.

“Ah.”

“Yeah.”  The girl sniffled, but kept up a brave face, glaring at him.  “She should be here in just a minute.”

“I-” he grimaced, removing his sunglasses.  Shit, shit, shit.  “I’m very sorry, that was completely unprofessional.  Erm, Ian Noble.”

“I know who you are.” Her lips twitched, not quite a smile, but she no longer looked so close to tears.  “Big fan, actually.”

“Uh, thanks.”  Ian blinked at her, at a loss.  He was, ironically, saved by the real Serenity Lake.

“Hello, darlings!” The pop star strutted into the room, tossing her hair over her shoulder.  “Who’s ready to have some fun?”

-

Ian watched sourly as Serenity practiced her dance moves.  They had one song, a duet he’d done when he was just starting out with a woman who’d long since disappeared from the spotlight so thoroughly he couldn’t remember her name, complete with a dance routine.

To her credit, she’d taken one look at his face and suggested he leave the dancing to her; he was so grateful, he didn’t even care if it was a dig about his age.

Happening to glance towards his left, he found the girl he’d yelled at standing next to him, guilt flooding through him.  Watching her watch the dancing for a moment, he hesitated before speaking quietly.  “I really am sorry.”

“Thank you.”  Staring straight ahead she barely acknowledged him, though her shoulders untensed slightly.

“I don’t want to make excuses, but I really don’t want to be here, and I took it out on you.”  He kept his focus on the dancers as well.

“Thank you,” Rose repeated.

“Um, you’re a backup singer?”

She shot him a confused, questioning look, but nodded hesitantly.  “Yes.  I came Stateside with Jo Shannon, who opened for Serenity on her last tour.  When it ended Serenity offered to keep me on, and I accepted last week.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks.”

Sticking his hands in his pockets he looked around awkwardly, but no one appeared to save him. His band was, of course, playing for the dancers, and the various assistants had disappeared, leaving them alone.

“Where’s Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum?”

“Beka and Margot went for a smoke break.”  Rose’s lips twitched in amusement, but she kept her blank expression.

“You a song-writer?”

Her face lit up, saying it all, even though she tried to play it cool.  “Sort of- I mean, I have ideas, I don’t know if they’re any good though.”

“If you want-” he had no idea where the offer was coming from, why he was taking an interest in this girl’s career.  Maybe it was the fellow Brit in the room, or guilt over yelling at her.  He tended not to care about the support, as he called them.  Didn’t matter whether or not they were there, he hardly noticed them unless they fucked up.

She was different.

“Ian!” Serenity chirped. “We’re ready to run through now.”

“I’ll get Beka and Margot,” Rose volunteered, scurrying out the door and returning thirty seconds later with the other two.  They lined up in the back across from the band, Ian and Serenity taking their spots front and center.

For no reason he could adequately explain, he spent more time watching her in the mirror than the star of the show.

-

After seven hours and a break for dinner, they finally called the rehearsal quits.  Tomorrow was New Year’s Eve, and they’d only have one chance to get it right on live television.  Most of the group packed up quickly, disappearing out the door amid bursts of laughter.  Serenity was first out, oversized sunglasses dominating her face and only making her stand out more than she already did in a fluorescent pink sweatsuit and large handbag.

Ian lingered, taking his time packing up his notes and arrangements, barely acknowledging his band’s goodbyes and dismissing their offers of getting a drink.  The girl, Rose, the one he couldn’t take his eyes off of, was lingering as well, and then suddenly they were the only two left.

Abandoning his things, he approached her when she made no move to leave.  “Rose?”

She yelped, spinning, and putting a hand to her chest.  “Shit! You scared me half to death. What?”

“Erm-”  Shuffling his feet, he found it hard to meet her eye. “Listen, I’m sorry-”

“You’ve said that,” Rose cut him off with a sigh, before offering him a tentative smile.  “And I accept your apology.  It’s all good, really – you don’t need to keep saying it.”

“Right.  Thanks.”  He rocked back on his heels for a moment.  “If you’re not busy, I thought… I mean, if you’d like an experienced professional’s opinion, maybe I could take a look at one of your songs?”

Her expression shuttered, eyes narrowing in suspicion.  “I highly doubt I’ve written anything worth stealing,” she said stiffly, shouldering her bag.  “Thanks, though.”

“What?  No!  No no no. Really.  Listen, you know Johnny Rotten?”

“I’m from London.”

“Right.  Well, when I was just a kid starting out, and not knowing my arse from my head, I got five minutes alone with him in a limo – five minutes.  He asked if I was a songwriter, I said I was, he told me to sing him something.  The next day I was in front of suits from EMI. A week later I had my first contract.”

“That’s nice.”  Rose folded her arms across her chest, turning to go, and in desperation he caught her arm.

“No, listen, my point is – you seem like a nice girl, and I was an utter bastard.  Let me make it up to you.”

She looked down at his hand on her arm, which he promptly removed, then back up at him, steel in her eyes.  “I want to succeed.  I want to make it.  I want it more than anything – except my dignity.  I’ll make it on my singing.  And if I don’t, I don’t, and I’ll figure something else out.  But I will never trade sex for opportunity.”

“I would withdraw my offer if you tried,” he shrugged.  “I don’t know what to say to convince you to trust me.”

Biting her lip Rose looked towards the door, the wheels turning in her mind.  “D’you know a good place in this God-forsaken town to get chips?”

-

Thirty minutes later they were seated side by side on a bench overlooking the Hudson River.  It was too dark to see much other than the occasional light, though the path itself was well-lit.

“So why are you such a surly bastard?”  Rose carefully selected a chip before turning expectant, curious eyes on him.

Picking at his own paper basket, he glanced at her quickly before looking out over the water.  “I’ve been in this business too long.”

“Oh?”

“It’s not…” he sighed heavily, trying to figure out how to put it into words without scaring her off her chosen career path.  “It’s not about music.  For others, I mean.  To me, as long as I believe in what I’m singing, then hang the rest.  I don’t care if it’s… a sold-out Shea Stadium or half-empty corner pub.  The money, the trappings, the fame… it doesn’t matter.  Well it does, but only so far as is required to keep playing the music I want to play, supporting my guys, you know?  Yet everyone else is obsessed with all of it, far more than the music.  To them, it’s just a way to make money.”

“Too much of a purist,” she teased gently, nudging his arm with her elbow.  “I get it.”

“I’ve seen too many talented musicians ruined by the trappings,” Ian said quietly, staring down at his hands.  “Money, fame, sex, drugs, alcohol.  I don’t touch any of that shit.”

“You’ve made a lot of incredible music in your time.  You still feel like you’ve got more to say?”

“Sometimes… sometimes I feel like there’s a black hole within me.  That it’s just… waiting.  For the right song, the right lyric, the right chords.  That eventually I’ll write the perfect thing that fixes it.”

Rose nodded.  “I think I know what you mean.”

They lapsed into silence. Putting his rubbish on the bench next to him, he leaned back and spread his arms, staring across the water.  For late December in New York, it wasn’t too terribly cold out; at least, not enough to make him call it a night.

“Tell me something, boy,” she started to sing suddenly, a halting flow to the words.  “Aren’t you tired tryin’ to fill that void?” Standing up, she wrapped her arms around her waist as she turned to face him.  “Or do you need more?” Another pause.  “Ain’t it hard keeping it so hardcore.”

Sitting up straight, Ian stared at her in surprise.  “Did you just write that?”

Rose nodded shyly, tucking her hair behind her ears.  “I’ve had the tune for a few days, but couldn’t figure out the right lyrics.”

“Almost sounds like it’s about me.”

“I don’t think there’s any life rights involved,” she said dryly, blushing.  “Not that it’s much good, anyway.”

Ian considered it, already hearing the sample on a loop in his mind.  “Actually, it’s brilliant.  It deserves to be heard.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded, before smiling reassuringly.  “By you. It deserves to be heard from you.  Thank you for sharing it.”

Her head ducked for a moment, and when it raised, she readjusted her scarf around her neck to try to hide her red cheeks.  “This has been brilliant, and thank you for the chips and just… listening to me, but it’s getting late and tomorrow’s a long day, so-”

“Right, yeah.” Standing up, he brushed himself free of crumbs before gathering all the trash and tossing it in the nearest waste bin. “Can I give you a ride back to your hotel?”

-

The next day was a blur, full of interviews and strategy meetings over Skype with Clara.  He’d been inspired when he got back to his room, staying up far too late scribbling out fragments of songs.  It was seven by the time he was due at the staging area, and he spent an inordinate amount of time in hair and makeup, forced to watch the show on telly.  The official kickoff was at eight, though he and Serenity weren’t scheduled until roughly eleven fifteen – with live TV, they had to be ready to go at any moment.

Throughout the evening he caught the occasional glimpse of Rose, each time looking more harried and panicked until he finally snagged her as she passed his dressing room, pulling her inside.

She yelped, trying to scramble away until she realized it was him.  “Ian!”

“Sorry, sorry.”  He got her steady before letting go, holding his hands up in a gesture of peace.  “What the hell’s going on?”

Rose licked her lips, glancing nervously towards the door.  “Don’t freak.”

“Why would I freak?”

“No one’s seen Serenity since breakfast.”

A dull buzzing started in his ears, mind already whirling with alternatives and potential plans. “What’s being done?”

“We’ve been calling her, her boyfriend, her parents, everyone, but there’s no sign of her. Police are looking, but… it’s New Year’s Eve, they don’t exactly have the time for that right now.”

“We go on in half an hour,” Ian pointed out, eyes narrowing in thought.  “What’s the plan?”

Rose shrugged helplessly. “Hope she shows?”

“Right.  Well, you look busy, I won’t keep you.”  He crossed his arms, gesturing towards the door.

Shoulders unhunching, she smiled shyly at him.  “It’s okay. I like talking to you.”

Their eyes held, and for a moment, just a single heartbeat, he thought he saw something there, but then she blinked and it was gone.  “Right! Gotta go, lots to do.  See you out there, hopefully!”

Then she was gone in a whirlwind, leaving him with more questions than answers.  One of the songs he had toyed with the night before came to him then, and grabbing his coat, he went in search of his band.

-

“Thirty seconds,” a producer barked in Ian’s earpiece, and he gave him a thumbs up across the stage. He was waiting in the wings, his band already on stage setting up while some pop star on the West Coast performed. The backup dancers and singers filed onto the stage then, and he caught Rose’s eye.

She shook her head and he nodded in return, before giving his bandleader the prearranged signal.

“Miss Lake isn’t here, so you’ll have to go on without her,” the aide at his side informed him.  “The backup singers will handle her part, the dancers will stick to the routine, just… do as you rehearsed otherwise.”

“Actually, we’re going to do something different,” Ian informed him, giving him a grin before walking up onto the stage, not giving him a chance to argue.  “Hello New York!”

The crowd went wild, though whether it was for him or in anticipation of Serenity he didn’t want to know.

“There’s been a bit of a change, and Miss Lake unfortunately won’t be joining us tonight,” he announced, relieved when no one booed, though a murmur rippled through the crowd. “Instead I’ll be doing a brand new duet with the lovely, talented Rose- well, Rose.”  Belatedly he realized he’d never bothered to get her last name.  Oops.  “Rose?” He turned to look at where she was standing, frozen, at the mic, one of the other singers nudging her forward.

Eyes wide Rose did, coming up to his side and waving tentatively at the crowd.

“Now, Rose here is a talented songwriter, but you don’t have to take my word for it – you’re about to find out yourself.”

Covering the mic so only she would pick up his next words, he leaned in close.  “I know I said I wouldn’t steal it, and I don’t consider what I’m about to do breaking that promise, but it’s not entirely keeping it either.  Just trust me like I’m trusting you.  This is your moment.”

“I don’t-” she started, but he thrust the live mic in her hands and she stopped.  Nabbing his guitar from Craig and slipping the strap over his head, he readjusted his headset, praying the mic would pick up his voice.

He began picking out the melody he’d arranged overnight, took a deep breath and began to sing.  “Tell me something, girl.”  He met Rose’s eyes just as they widened, relieved when they didn’t seem to hold any sort of homicidal intent.  “Are you happy in this modern world?”  The crowd was silent, more so than he’d ever heard, and if he hadn’t been performing so long it would’ve been entirely unnerving.  “Or do you need more? / Is there something else you’re searching for?”  His heart leapt to his throat, and he wondered if she’d be able to see the truth in his next words.  “I’m falling. / In all the good times I find myself longing for change. / And in the bad times I fear myself.”

The band behind him came in, softly at first, and he met Rose’s eye again and nodded.  She came in perfectly on time, her voice seemingly more beautiful than it had the night before when she’d sung the very same lyrics. “Tell me something, boy. / Aren’t you tired trying to fill that void? / Or do you need more? / Ain’t it hard keepin’ it so hard core.”  His heart stopped when she continued, mirroring his pre-chorus.  The hesitation in her voice made him wonder if, possibly, it was the truth for her as well. “I’m falling. / In all the good times I find myself longing for change. / And in the bad times I fear myself.”

And then she went solo, singing the part she’d added in the car the previous night just before they reached her hotel.  “I’m off the deep end / watch as I dive in / I’ll never meet the ground. / Crash through the surface, where they can’t hurt us / We’re far from the shallow now.”

-

Ian stumbled off the stage somewhat in shock.  They’d made it through, Rose performing beautifully, a haunting vocalization in the middle of the song he was certain was already going viral online it was so damn good.  He kept Rose pressed to his side, not letting her escape as he fought their way back to his dressing room, waving off the comments being thrown at him.  The crowd had gone ballistic, a thunderous roar of approval so great it had been a veritable wall of noise.  He didn’t want to know what anyone else thought until he’d heard from her, explained his side.

Slamming the door behind him, he finally let her go and turned to face her, braced for a slap. “I’m sorry I ambushed you, but I haven’t been able to get that fucking song out of my head.  It’s incredible, Rose, and that reaction we just got? That was for you.  You. As a singer and a songwriter.  I mean, that- that-” he fell silent as she stared at him.

“You violated my trust,” she said quietly.  “I shared that with you in confidence, and twenty-four hours later you gave it to the fucking world.  I can’t- I’m sorry-”  Rose darted forward, hand covering her mouth, and he could only watch, disappointed and angry with himself, as she ran away.

“Fuck!”  He wanted to throw something, destroy something, but the small rational voice in the back of his head reigned him in.  He was already on thin ice for going rogue; better not to ruin in all in a fit of rage. Slamming back a glass of water and wishing like hell he drank, he got himself together before heading for the inside viewing area where a party was raging.

Clara was going to kill him.

-

Sparkling water in hand, Ian sulked in the back of the room.  The network hosting the concert had offered their nearby studios to the performers, hosts, and crew, most of whom were finished with their work and ready to party.  Ninety seconds remained in the year, before it would finally be over and they could all pretend, if only for a little while, that everything would magically be better.

“Ian.”

Her voice sent a shiver racing down his spine, and he turned to face her, resigned to his fate. “Rose-”

“Thank you,” she interrupted.  “The song was perfect.  It was true to what I had written, and yet somehow so much better.  That’s down to you.”

“How many offers did you get?” he asked after a moment, studying her face.

Her neutral expression melted into a grin.  “Six different labels want to sign me.  I haven’t made any decision yet.  Not about that, at least.”  She looked decidedly nervous, rubbing her palms on her skirt.

“Then what did you make a decision about?”  His heart picked up pace, hoping for something he wasn’t willing to consider within the realm of possibility.

“I… I really liked talking to you,” Rose said quietly.  “Something about it… I don’t know.  I thought- I mean- maybe this is totally crazy, but-”

“Ten!  Nine!  Eight!” Everyone’s attention focused on the telly, where the ball was nearing the base.

As the countdown continued, things became clear in Ian’s mind.  This girl, Rose, made him feel alive again in a way he hadn’t in a very long time.  And, if he understood her stuttering correctly before they were interrupted, she was trying to say the same thing.

Eyes darting up, he spotted a spring hanging from the ceiling, and smiled.  “Mistletoe.”

“New year’s about to start,” she replied, breathless, stepping closer.  “Would hate to start it out with bad luck.”

“You just became an overnight sensation, you can’t risk it.”

“Four!  Three!  Two!”

“I am sensational overnight.”  Eyes wide, she was definitely leaning in.

Hand coming up to cup her cheek, he closed the distance between them.

��One!  Happy New Year!”

Their lips met, and the fireworks started.

We’re far from the shallow now.