#suicidal ideations i guess

[feralchaoschild]

.

[wild0moon]

someone pls teach him proper trigger discipline

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Love you more than everything, loved it more than anything

Loved everything more than anything

[toto-4444]

[crowiin]

ace from “mark for mark and sin for sin” by @midnightluck. it’s a delightfully painful sickfic with a twist on the regular tropes

[goingferalapparently]

I know I'd go back to you

the original spitballing of ideas i did, and the link to the video this conversation is from.

i miss them so much

[mofsblog]

Uh oh, I got reminded TFGraves exist and I'm mentally ill and going to make it YOUR problem!! (Translation: I'm going to gosh about them)

They just mean so much to me? And they just feel soo?? Special?? And unique on a meta level as well? It's already one thing that they are a canonised mlm pairing because historically those ones tend to be more controversial because it tends to make cishet dudes (aka leagues main demographic) more uncomfortable because cant fetishise it (also yes they're not Technically "together" but idc its explicitly canon they have feelings for eachother). It's another that both are surprisingly developed and nuanced charaters (could go on for hours about how theyre both self destructive and have abandonment issues and repress their feelings in very different ways) that are morally ambiguous and have a complex and multifaceted relationship with eachother and yeah i know league lore is subject to retcons and having differet writers but idk. i think its impressive we got two nuanced developed queer male characters WITH A COMPLICATED AND DEVELOPED RELATIONSHIP WITH EACHOTHER in a game known for its bigotted player base. Another thing i fucking love about this ship is how the riot writers were like "what if we subverted some tropes and made the more flamboyant one implied pan and we made the traditionally masculine one, who highkey has toxic masculinity, gay". BUT ALSO HIS TOXIC MASCULINITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS QUEERNESS. like yes he cant express his feelings directly to save his life but the fact he's a gay man is completely not relevant to that and he's canonically had a bunch of ex boyfriends and is canonically a monsterfucker/hj. I'm not over how they took a pretty cishet masculine thing and made queer. Like the rough outlaw who hates talking about his feelings and is out for violent revenge on those who've wronged him..... except the guy who's "wronged" him is actually his best friend who he has mutual feelings for and also he fucks men. IDK THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. im insane.

moving on to other thing i like about them is that the sheer range this ship has??? Like yes there's gut wrenching fucked up dynamic that drives you crazy as you pyschoanalyse and unpack the layers of all of THAT. "that" being the fact a man thought he got abandoned by his best friend and got tortured and isolated in prison for 10 years and during those 10 years the only thing that kept him from killing himself was the sheer rage and want for vengence (towards someone he probably had repressed romantic feelings for) AND THEN WHEN HE GOT THE CHANCE TO KILL HIM, HE COULDNT BRING HIMSELF TO DO IT 💀 (im literally never going to be normal about that) and during those 10 years the other man actually got all of their mutual friends killed in an attempt to save him and the survivors guilt fucked him up so bad its implied he failed trying to drown himself so he changed his entire name and personhood instead to isolate himself from the soul crushing guilt of it. BUT DESPITE THAT ANGST, there's a surprising amount of domesticity and comfort with this ship??? No like you'd think these two would be friends to enemies to lovers BUT NO, theyre actually friends to enemies to friends to friends who are fucking pinning for eachother like crazy. Despite the angsty dynamic these two also have the best friends who have known eachother for ages and who everyone think is dating but both are oblivious or dont believe the other feels the same BUT THEY ALSO HAVE opposites attract bickering marriage couple who constantly tease and banter with eachother. like the range is crazy

No but I feel like something that makes me emotional about this is that they tried to kill eachother and badly hurt eachother unintentionally but like, instead of being homophobic about it and making them just hate eachother forever and never reconcicle (which like those ships are amazing and valid and also thats literally another league ship/hj), the writers made them make up???? AND LIKE? HEAL? KINDA? Like no they havent worked through everything and no neither of them like talking about their feelings but they're "partners" again and they have this really domestic understanding of eachother and theyre managing and theyre bantering like they used to and theyre literally so comfortable around eachother and look, graves isnt tormented by his time in prison as much anymore and hes just a genuinely goofy criminal dumbass who robs people and cracks jokes that irriate his partner AND IDK ITS SO DOMESTIC AND FUNNY? BUT IT DOESNT FEEL OUT OF CHARACTER. THESE TWO JUST ARE IN A GOOD PLACE DESPITE EVERYTHING AND IDK THAT MAKES ME HAPPY???? why did league of legends make compelling queer ship

[koipepo]

Pondering the future he wishes to uproot

[shadowduel]

i feel like my stories never quite sound as original or as unique as i want them to be. i really want to make a VN though. i want to make something familiar to others... i want to make something that makes me feel thrilled in the way that ikuina's storyline did?

[johnny-depplyloveyou]

How many Gale art are you going to draw?

Yes

Are you going to finish any of them?

...

I'll try

[unordinaries]

presented without comment

(chapters 280 + 344)

[cadaver-moss]

For any of my mutuals, please DM me if there’s an OC of mine you want. Just in case something happens to me.

[justaz]

merlin still roams the earth thousands of years later yet arthur hasn’t risen. his hope has been waning for millennia and he’s been scraping the bottom of the barrel for centuries, his hope being a meager thing - barely tangible. it’s more caution than anything, he’s been getting by these last few decades on the thought “what if i give up right before he comes back?? just wait another year” and he’s held on for more than fifty years by that. then…nothing. absolutely nothing. not even a ripple in the lake. he’s still alone.

that’s when his barrel has been scraped clean, he has no hope nor caution to carry on anymore. the dragon got one last manipulation in before the end causing merlin to live for centuries upon centuries in agony and despair, held together by false hope that hurts more than arthur’s death did. though maybe that’s time talking, he’s pretty sure he was comatose for a couple of centuries after arthur died, but the sentiment remains.

he marches down to lake avalon and greets freya though she hasn’t responded since arthur passed. he requests excalibur, and she does not respond. he asks again. still nothing. again. nothing. he demands this time for her to give him the damn blade. she does not. for the first time in millennia, he uses magic to draw the blade out but something tugs the sword back, refusing him his last request.

he yells in frustration sending small waves across the still water. he tries again and again but freya doesn’t budge. he falls to his knees, tears escaping his eyes, and shouts for her to give him the sword so he can finally put an end to his agony. arthur isn’t coming back, he can’t keep wandering. he’s exhausted, he’s run out of hope. he just wants to rest. he gently attempts to coax the sword out with his magic one last time but freya still holds it from him.

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

the fact that hornigold is a manifestation of ed's self-loathing so anything hornigold says is stuff ed's saying to himself

the fact that after hornigold throws the rock off the cliff and ed goes flying off the cliff he chuckles to himself and says "you're welcome old chum" like he's doing ed a favor

the fact that ed is falling to his death and screaming panicking and fighting against it but there's still a part of himself that's standing there watching and laughing about it.

anyway this renew as a crew rewatch is going great im having a blast

[superbellsubways]

i. forgot i made this

[zimanddibromance]

Uh TW for suicide attempt, sorta

There’s a bit more to this that would make things easier to understand but that would mean i’d have to split this up into like 3 parts instead of 2 and I don’t like that LOL

Anyway this is just part one, I bet you’re wondering why I even drew something like this. It was 3 am and I was having terrible art block and I just forced myself to make “something, anything” and this is that’s something anything LOL

Part One

Part Two <- is next