#suic1de cw
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@helllords asked : aloe : how does your muse handle grief ? (for malachi)
Okay meme is question is getting its own post because it's a large piece of lore for the last century, and two, it's a contains some very dark and triggering subject matter.
SO cw for : r*pe mention, drug use, abuse, attempted suic*de mention, mental illness and medical procedure
Malachi has never dealt with grief… well. At this point I doubt he’ll ever be able to properly, again, however to understand this there has to be context.
It should be stated that the current Malachi does not react the same way as he would have over a century ago. Malachi was failing mentally after Qaqu’s death and his new found duties. He had been forced to race in his equine form prior to Qaqu’s shootout to earn his keep amongst the ageing witches, however his own advancing age found little success and left him volatile, with periods where he would become “uncooperative” and avoidant. It hadn’t been the first time. He had been used and abused his whole life, and suddenly he had inherited a role where he had been placed in charge of not only his sisters’ wellbeing but also that of the family who had abused him. However it would be the stress brought upon by sudden reappearance of his son in 1930, Mordecai, after forty years forcing him to come to terms with his r.ape which would leave him in a complete state of helplessness, anxiety and depression that led into sharp mood swings, unusual behaviour, insomnia and triggered aggressive behaviour.
The sum and stress caught up with him and he suffered to a point where his friends, a young Wesley, Jack and Sarah fearing for his own safety as due to what he was were forced to chemically restrain him with opioids and keep him contained within his room for a time. It would eventually come to a headway with Malachi, having attempted to slit his wrists with pen nib, unwilling to live in this state, with his pain or “inherit the madness of his father” would come to beg Wesley to end his life where he would refuse and threaten that if his mental state did not improve he would have had no choice but to permanently physically restrain him. Malachi would slowly seem to “recover” after this, Wesley providing Malachi regularly with sedatives until he’d returned to a “functional” state to administer himself, although the occasional period of depression would still occur. His focus would become determined to provide the witch family with a comfortable quality of life, knowing as time had told him before some would be inflicted ailments of Alzheimer's disease.
Sarah would marry, Jack would disappear, and Wesley would move away after a falling out with Malachi to continue his studies as a doctor in New York state, perhaps prompted by Malachi to pursue his field in psychiatry. The last witch would die in 1954, and Malachi would start living with Sarah after her husband would pass in 1956. Unfortunately issues with his mental health would start to rise again, with Sarah’s declining health and a growing tolerance to opioids after decades of use would leave Malachi increasingly neurotic.
In 1974 Sarah passed away while he was away during a business trip. He shuts down emotionally. There’s a nickname he gains due to his initial response after Sarah’s death that I haven’t really touched (because mainly I haven’t had a thread which explored that moment in time) : the hollow man. Grief becomes cold. He doesn’t appear to even care. He does not cry, he shows no emotions or any kindness. He becomes reactive, and this often becomes one of the few times we see Malachi become intentionally cruel. Sometimes he has periods where he will break out of this into a period of intense mood swings and involuntary transformations, often beginning with him engaging in a moment of violent behaviour and ending in him literally running away.
During one of these periods he would seek out Wesley, who had at this point become a teacher, at his office and collapse. Over the next few days, and an argumentative back and forth Malachi would eventually ask Wesley to recommend him for a lobotomy, despite the doctor’s proclamations that the procedure was largely being considered dangerous, outlawed in many states and ineffective with the theory that because of his accelerated regeneration it might not work the way Malachi wanted. Despite that Wesley made the arrangements for the procedure to be performed privately due to Malachi’s inhuman potential. The surgery went ahead without issue, and his temperament improved. Sadly, it was not the result Malachi wanted and the pain he’d felt was still in him, revealing during his recovery that he had simply hoped it would “leave him with nothing”. Despondent, Malachi would leave Wesley to his life without a goodbye and return to his sisters in California. He would suffer some cognitive issues affecting his ability to read, focus, yet he would create unusual routines for himself in the time after. Maria would later note he was never quite with them anymore and found him “austere, annoyingly unhelpful, but easy to direct” for the first few years until he began to become more lucid and gradually show a great range of emotion by the end of the decade.
Arguably it could be considered one of the few reasons how he became so easily manipulated by Setepen-it.
#helllords#the water horse; malachi#it's canon!;#tw sa#r*pe tw#drugs cw#suic1de cw#mental illness tw#// I don't really know how to tag#// tumblr tw and cws#// malachi has had the worst life of any character I have#// he needs love and a break#// adding that the worst part of it is malachi believes he deserved it all
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Wat if I 3nded it all 4 fun :33
@star-dust78
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Sh and sui culture is not being able to sleep anymore bc the moment you close your eyes you get the overwhelming thought to slit your wrists. Constantly.
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#sh culture is#suic1de#tw sui ideation#s3lf harn#self h@rm#s3lfharmm#self mutilator#988blr#cw s/h#s/h tw#s/h#sh things
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Whats wrong babe, you haven't googled suicide methods and success rate statistics all day
#tw sui vent#suic1de#tw sui ideation#tw sui talk#tw sui implied#cw sui mention#cw sui thoughts#cw sui ideation#cw sui implied#cw sui joke#personal vent#vent#vent blog#vent post#ok to rb
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I don’t know if I actually want to like…die per se?? But…
I want my body to go cold. I want to be lying there. My fingertips turning yellow but freezing cold. My feet puffing up and going grey at the top but bright red at the soles. I want the foam to drip out my mouth with my teeth still securely on my tongue. I want to hear my mother scream as she calls my name the first few times, then grabs me and realises I’m not breathing.
Just know I’ll be laughing my ass off as she does that. If she didn’t want me here, or, well, NOT here, she wouldn’t have treated me like that, would she??
#tw sui vent#tw sui talk#tw sui ideation#tw sucidal ideation#tw sui implied#tw sui attempt#tw suic1de#cw sui mention#cw sui ideation#cw sui thoughts#cw sui implied#cw sui talk#jirai boy#jirai danshi#jiraiblogging#jiraiblr#menhera#pien#pienblr#jirai#vent blog#jirai kei#landmine jirai#jirai lifestyle#jiraiposting#landmineblogging#landmineposting#lifestyle landmine#landmineblr#landmine kei
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I really want to end it all, I wish I had js ended it all already. I hate my life since 5 long years and I don't think the next 5 years will look any better. I am fighting, I swear I try to k1ll this illness every single day, but I'm not getting better, I'm still miserable after all this time, pls js set me free of this pain, I can't do this anymore.
#tw depressing stuff#depressing shit#this is depressing#sorry for being depressing#tw depressing thoughts#su1c1d4l#tw s3lf harm#s3lfharmm#su1c1dal#su1c1d3#tw sui ideation#cw sui ideation#vent tw#su1c1d10#su1cide#suic1de
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I've seen a few posts about people not really liking Passive Nightmare being y'know passive and I agree
(Also TW Suicide mentioned and bullying. The text mentioning it is in bold and will be under that cut.)
But it got me thinking, what if he was? What if he was just a kind, shy bookworm or whatever in the beginning? Idk, this was random and not thought out, just a brainworm I felt the need to put out there
What if Nightmare had friends, maybe just two. Maybe Dream knew they would get along and introduced them to each other and those two just happened to not know about or disagreed with the Nightmare being evil thing.
So they're a small friend group, Nightmare, Dream and two others. Dream might hang out with them more than other villagers. They play together, hang out, etc.. The fact the villagers don't really like him doesn't matter, because he has friends who like him, his brother, and the villagers don't bother him beyond occasional nasty looks.
Then Dream starts to get called away more and more to help people and the other villager children drag him away to play often, because he can't bring himself to say. Then the little free time he has with his brother is spent listening to him read or resting.
And then the bullying starts.
The bullies just target Nightmare at first, but then they learn about his friends and start bullying them too. Maybe that makes Nightmare stand up for them, start being petty and passive aggressive instead of passive.
Maybe the bullying escalates enough that the friends get banned from being friends with Nightmare because the parents blame him for the bullying. Or the parents decide to move out of the village completely.
TW Suicide mention
Maybe, if we go down a darker path, the bullying escalates enough that one of the friends kill themselves. The friend that's still alive might blame Nightmare for it and either ignore him when they see him getting bullied or even join in, or be banned from continuing to be friends with him.
The bullying and loss of his only friends could make him mean, do things to get back at them and ultimately make things worse. Because by doing that, he's proving the villagers opinions right, they wouldn't care that he was only doing it in self-defense.
Then maybe him retaliating is what gets the adults involved because in their eyes he's the abuser, not the victim, which leads to the apple incident.
#dreamtale#headcanon#nightmare sans#dream sans#tw suic1de#cw sui mention#tw bullying#if there's any other tw I need to add please tell me#utmv
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lord,
i beg you to give me the strength to unalive myself.
#shitpost#988twt#cw vent#vent txt#tw sh in tags#txt post#self h@rm#txt#tw s3lf harm#tw sui ideation#tw sui talk#tw sui implied#suic1de#severe depression#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#depressing shit#i need to relapse#why am i like this#ocd tag#adhd things#tw drugs#drug abuse#drugs cw#tw death#tw depression
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Guys if TikTok goes down I go down w/it 💔🙏🙏💔
@star-dust78
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Sh + sui culture is having to explain to your dad that it is actually very mean and insensitive to tell me that I'll regret the scars & I'll get judged when I'm older
.
#sh culture is#tw sui ideation#suic1de#988blr#s3lfharmm#self mutilator#s/h#s/h tw#s3lf harn#self h@rm#cw s/h#sh things
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I just want to die. I just wish I could’ve never existed in the first place.
#vent blog#vent art#cw vent#personal vent#vent post#vent#suic1de#self h@rm#depressing shit#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#sorry for being depressing#depressing quotes
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my christmas wishlist:
. Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum vinyl
. 10g of h*roin
. Death
. In utero cd
. Cookies
. Some new headphones
. A smith and wesson k22 revolver
. A new guitar
. 10 more grams of h*roin
. A cure for cancer
. Vulfpeck tickets
. Bottom surgery
. A 19 inch zildjian a custom crash
. A copy of the great gatsby
#$elf h4rm#$hblr#cvt#cvutting#made of styro#selfharrrm#tw sh related#sh tumblr#s3lfharmm#tw styro#tw drugs#drugblr#drugs cw#drugs mention#depression posting#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#suic1de#tw sui ideation#su1cide#su1c1dal#tally hall#vulfpeck#transgender#traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns#transfem#nirvana
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Warning: Bad Writing
im barely even human anymore
i more closely resemble a beat dog
hit everytime for even the smallest slight
now i see a small movement as the next fist fight
im sorry that i bit you, i really didnt want to
i dont know why i bit you, i really didnt want to
i miss the person i used to b,
before all the thrown fists, rocks & feet
i wished i could b human again, i really did want to
i wished i could get back to it, i really did want to
i wished i wouldnt wake up, i really didnt want to
maybe ill stop with the wishing and actually “do”
i’d finally stop being, i really fucking want to
#transfem#mental illness#tw self destruction#sh cvt#actually autistic#cvtblr#hitting styro#cw vent#personal vent#made of styro#tw sui talk#tw sui implied#tw sui ideation#suic1de#writing
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I Read The Silmarillion So You Don't Have To, Part Ten
Previous part.
Chapter 21: Of Túrin Turambar, Part 2 In which our angsty tragic hero tries to outrun his curse, kills people he shouldn’t, sleeps with people he shouldn’t, and fights a dragon.
Picking up right where we left off…
It’s been four hundred and ninety-five years since the first rising of the Sun over Middle-earth. Two Elves arrive at Nargothrond from the south, Arminas and Gwindor’s brother Gelmir. (Gelmir, as in Volcano Manor? I see you, George R.R. Martin and FromSoft, with your giant glowing tree, and your “Numen,” and “Morgott,” and your volcano named after a completely random Tolkien character!) These two Elves have been living with Círdan, and they bring news of a prophecy from Ulmo, the Vala of Water himself!
Here’s the message: Because Morgoth controls the River Sirion, Ulmo is losing his power in the north of Beleriand. He foretells that doom is coming to Nargothrond. His advice is that the Nargothrond Elves swallow their pride, lock the doors, and hunker down.
King Orodreth listens to the warning, but Túrin is too proud and too stubborn to heed the words of a literal god. He’s used to getting his way, and isn’t about to hide away in a hole again just because two randos claim to speak for a Vala. He stays out in the open, and doesn’t bother to destroy the great bridge he built across the river that leads straight to Nargothrond’s gate. That’s basically rolling out the welcome mat for Morgoth. Meanwhile, Morgoth creeps southwards, defiling the magic spring of Ivrin and heading straight for Nargothrond.
When Morgoth’s army arrives, the Elves ride into battle, with Túrin beside the king. Morgoth brought a trump card, Glaurung the Dragon — the Elves don’t stand a chance. Orodreth dies, and Gwindor is mortally wounded. Túrin rushes to carry him to a safer place.
As he dies, Gwindor tells Túrin that he both loves and hates him, and that he regrets the day he rescued him from the Orcs. Who can blame him? Túrin basically ruined his life. It’s entirely Túrin’s fault that Nargothrond is doomed. Gwindor’s final wish is that Túrin protect Finduilas.
Yes, a powerful and ancient Elven kingdom fell because of the stubbornness of one Man who isn’t even from there. Is anyone surprised?

Túrin Turambar and the Fall of Nargothrond by breath-art
Túrin rushes off to find that the city is being pillaged and destroyed by Morgoth’s forces. He tries to find Finduilas, but runs straight into Glaurung. Unexpectedly, the dragon speaks, greeting Túrin. Glaurung mocks him for all the bad things that he’s caused, directly or indirectly: “Thankless fostering, outlaw, slayer of thy friend, thief of love, usurper of Nargothrond, captain foolhardy, and deserter of thy kin.” (Can’t you just hear that in Benedict Cumberbatch’s voice?) As a final twist of the knife, Glaurung brings up Túrin’s mother and sister, who are poor and miserable, dressed in rags while Túrin lives like a prince. (This is a complete lie; they’re in Doriath, and they’re fine, but Túrin has no way to know that.)
Petrified by the dragon’s gaze, Túrin is horrified by his own behavior (which isn’t the worst thing? My dude needs some self-awareness). While he’s literally frozen in a mental health spiral, the Orcs finish sacking Nargothrond. They drag Finduilas away with them. Glaurung twists the knife again, pointing out how useless Túrin is to either his family or Finduilas.

The Sack of Nargothrond by Donato Arts
Túrin can finally move, and lashes at Glaurung’s eye, but misses. Glaurung spares him, letting him live with his guilt, but leaves him with the sadistic Gwen Stacy choice: He can either save Finduilas, or his family, but not both. Túrin immediately runs off to save one of them. Glaurung crawls inside what’s left of Nargothrond, makes a pile of all its treasure, and lies down on it as his dragon hoard.
Following the sack of Nargothrond is a winter so bad, it’s known as the Fell Winter. Túrin goes to his birthplace of Dor-lómin to rescue his mother and sister, only to find an empty, ruined house. He asks around to find out where they’ve gone (and by “asks around,” I mean “threatens people at swordpoint”). Once he learns the truth, he starts killing people out of sheer rage.
The only silver lining is that it was his own actions as “The Black Sword of Nargothrond” that gave his mother and sister a window to escape. That means he actually did something good for someone! By accident! Túrin decides it’s best not to follow them to Doriath. He muses that he destroys everything he touches, and he doesn’t want to subject them to that. After what happened in Nargothrond, he doesn’t want to risk the same thing happening to Doriath, for everyone’s sake.
So, Túrin goes off after Finduilas, but it’s already too late for her. He hears from one of the Men of the Forest of Brethil that the Orcs killed Finduilas by pinning her to a tree with a spear. Her last words were to ask the Men to tell “the Black Sword” where she died. The Men lead Túrin to where they buried her. Distraught, Túrin throws himself on the mound. Realizing who he is, the Men of Brethil pity him, and take him in until spring. Túrin renames himself Turambar, “Master of Doom,” thinking that he finally outran his curse. That’s very hubristic, but of all Túrin’s many epithets, this is the one that stuck.
The last refugees from Nargothrond find their way to Doriath. They reveal who Mormegil the Black Sword was, and assume that he’s either dead, or still frozen in place by the dragon. Morwen rides out into the wilderness alone, desperate to find out what actually happened to her son. Thingol sends his captain Mablung after her to guard her, and her daughter Nienor sneaks out after them. (The narration pauses to inform us that this is a choice point, and if Nienor hadn’t left, a lot of suffering could have been avoided.)
Morwen and co. make their way to Nargothrond, but Glaurung is still there, and eager for some more destruction. Some of Thingol’s Elves are killed, and Morwen goes missing. Mablung boldly sneaks inside the ruins of Nargothrond while the dragon is absent. Nienor gets caught in the dragon’s gaze, and he makes her forget who she is and why she’s there. When Mablung finds her, she can’t see, hear, or speak. Mablung tries to bring her back to Doriath, but they don’t get far before she runs off into the wilderness in terror.
Nienor makes her way to the Forest of Brethil, living like an animal in the wilderness. One night, during a storm, she throws herself on Finduilas’ mound. The Men of Brethil and Túrin find her there, and nurse her back to health. Because she doesn’t know her name, Túrin calls her Níniel, “Tear-maiden.” In the next couple months, Nienor learns to live and speak like a person again, but she still doesn’t remember anything from her former life.
You can probably tell where this is going, can’t you? Nienor has amnesia and can’t recognize her brother, and Túrin has never seen his sister before. They slowly fall in love, and get married in the summer. Túrin thinks that he might finally have some happiness! You’re just braced for the impending trainwreck.
In the intervening years, Glaurung hears that the Black Sword is alive, and goes to Brethil to kill him just for shits and giggles. Túrin goes to fight him, saying a tearful goodbye to his wife. Nienor makes the same mistake she made last time, and goes after him.
Túrin comes up with a strategy to sneak up under Glaurung from a narrow gorge, catching him by surprise. He successfully makes it across the gorge, and stabs Glaurung in the belly with the meteorite sword. Glaurung screams and writhes, throwing the enormous bulk of his body across the gorge, breathing fire as he dies. All the forest around the gorge is burned to a crisp, but Glaurung the Dragon is finally dead…!

The End of Glaurung by Coliandre
Túrin crosses the gorge again to recover his sword, and mocks Glaurung in an ironic echo of the dragon’s words to him in Nargothrond. As he wrenches the black sword out of Glaurung’s body, a spurt of black blood covers his hand, burning it with venom. Then Glaurung’s eyes open — he’s not dead yet! He smashes Túrin, and Túrin passes out from a combination of the blow and the venom.
The Men see the burning forest, and assume that Glaurung must have won the fight. They turn to flee, except for Nienor, who insists on seeing her husband again.
She finds Túrin lying, seemingly dead, beside the dragon, and cries over his body. Glaurung, who still isn’t dead, puts two and two together and laughs in Nienor’s face. He reveals her true identity as a daughter of Húrin, and that her husband is actually her brother. He also lists off all of Túrin’s other crimes for good measure. Then he dies. Finally.

The Death of Glaurung by Elena Kukanova
When Glaurung dies, his evil spell breaks, and Nienor finally remembers everything. Horrified, she says her farewell to Túrin, and throws herself over the gorge. That spot becomes known as Cabed Naeramarth, the Point of Dreadful Doom — no plants grow on it, and all people and animals avoid it.
The leader of the Men of Brethil, Brandir, returns to his people, and fills them in on what happened with the requisite tragic Messenger Speech: Glaurung is dead, Túrin is dead, Níniel is dead, and also Túrin and Níniel were siblings the whole time. As the people mourn, Túrin himself shows up — he wasn’t actually dead, just in a faint. Brandir tells him the terrible news, and Túrin blames Brandir for Nienor’s death, assuming that “you’re actually siblings” is just another one of Glaurung’s lies. Túrin does his usual thing and kills Brandir in a fit of rage.
Túrin escapes into the woods, finding Finduilas’ grave. He prays to her for advice about what to do next. Clearly, he couldn’t outrun his fate. His only options are to go to Doriath and risk more destruction and sorrow, or to go die in battle. As he cries there on the grave, Mablung just happens to show up. Túrin tells Mablung that he killed Glaurung, and Mablung is very impressed that Túrin could kill Glaurung when generations of Elves failed.
Túrin asks after his family, and Mablung tells him the bad news — Morwen is missing, Nienor is a delirious amnesiac, and neither of them have been heard from in years. That’s when Túrin realizes that his wife really was his sister. On top of that, he just murdered a man in cold blood for telling the truth! In fact, he just murdered the leader of a tribe that was kind enough to take him in! Túrin laughs like a madman, curses Mablung, curses Doriath, curses everything, and runs away into the night (again).
He goes to the gorge where his sister died, and takes out Gurthang, the black meteorite sword. He asks the blade if it will kill him, and the sword speaks with a cold voice: “Yea, I will drink thy blood gladly, so that I may forget the blood of Beleg my master, and the blood of Brandir slain unjustly. I will slay thee swiftly.” Ahhhh, that’s so creepy! The black sword was sentient the whole time!
Túrin stabs himself with the blade, and dies at the same point where his sister did. Mablung and his Elves find Túrin’s body, and Mablung blames himself for Túrin’s death, because he told Túrin the truth about his sister. Mablung, the Elves, and the Men of Brethil bury Túrin on that point, alongside the shards of the black sword, which snapped in half. They mark his tombstone with both his name and Nienor’s.
The Death of Túrin by _yidany_
Wow, what a classic tragedy! You know, some people hold up A Song of Ice and Fire as the anti-LotR — Game of Thrones is high fantasy story that’s dark and gritty and more cynical than idealistic, with realistic effects of war, a massive amount of character death, and lots of gore and incest. What those people don’t realize is that Tolkien already wrote that story, and here it is! You think Tolkien is an idealistic kindly grandpa who only writes about cute hobbits, pretty elves, and dark lords getting defeated? Try this on for size!
Honestly, it shouldn’t be surprising to anyone who knows anything about Tolkien’s source material. This is what mythology is like. I applaud Tolkien for his authenticity. He combined parts of the Volsung Saga, parts of Oedipus Tyrannus, and maybe a bit of Beowulf with his own lore to create a brutal uber-tragedy. And, bonus, he also gave us our requisite angsty pathetic man as a protagonist.

Túrin by Līga Kļaviņa ***
Chapter 22: Of the Ruin of Doriath In which Húrin is finally released, and Thingol makes the most colossally stupid decision of his career.
Well, we all knew that Doriath was too good to last. Looks like its time is up.
But first, we need to know what happened to Húrin. Húrin is Túrin’s father, and he’s been imprisoned on a mountaintop this whole time, tied to a chair and forced to watch the tragedy of his son’s life. Morgoth finally lets him go. Morgoth claims that he’s acting out of pity, but that’s obviously a lie — he knows that if he lets Húrin go, it’ll start a domino effect of bad stuff that will make everyone’s lives worse.
Húrin tries to go home to Hithlum, but he’s unrecognizable after almost thirty years in Angband. His own people think he’s one of Morgoth’s goons, and shun him. Feeling resentful, and having nowhere else to go, Húrin tries to find Gondolin again. All he finds is a forbidding wall of sheer rock. The eagles notice him, though, and Thorondor, the king of the eagles himself, goes straight to King Turgon to tell him that Húrin is at his door. Turgon doesn’t believe this, assuming that Morgoth is up to his old tricks again. Thorondor snaps back with, ‘if the divine eagles made mistakes, Gondolin wouldn’t have lasted this long.’ After thinking about it for a bit, Turgon agrees to let Húrin in. But when the eagles go to look for him, he’s already gone. That’s what Turgon gets for taking his sweet time.
As the sun sets, Húrin screams in despair in the direction of Gondolin, imploring Turgon to remember their friendship. But Morgoth’s spies have been on him since he left. Now Morgoth knows where Gondolin is! He still can’t do anything because of the eagles’ protection, but the clock is ticking.
Húrin dreams of his wife Morwen. In his dream, she’s crying somewhere in the Forest of Brethil. So, he heads in that direction. The men of Brethil think he’s the ghost of a warrior, that’s how terrible he looks. He finds Túrin and Nienor’s gravestone, but doesn’t look at it; he already knows what it is, from having seen the whole story play out with Morgoth’s supernatural vision. In front of the stone, an old woman with tattered clothes is mourning. She looks up into Húrin’s eyes, and he recognizes her as his wife, Morwen. They reunite briefly, and sit together in silence in front of their children’s grave. When the sun sets, Morwen dies.

Húrin and Morwen at the grave of their children by steamey
Húrin sits there, numb, until his grief is replaced by anger and a desire for vengeance. Because if you’re a man whose wife and kids are dead, what else is there to do besides revenge? He adds Morwen’s name to the tombstone, then goes on his way.
As for the tombstone, according to a bard, nothing will ever topple it. Not even Morgoth. Not even when Beleriand sinks into the sea, and nothing else is left of it (which the narration reminds us will happen in the near future). The stone still rises up out of the sea, far off the coast of Middle-earth.
Húrin goes to see what’s left of Nargothrond, and finds Mîm, that dwarf whom Túrin had lived with for a time after killing his son. Mîm moved in after Glaurung left, and took all the treasure for himself. None of the Elves challenged him, because they’re all afraid that the dragon is still there. Mîm believes he has a rightful claim to Nargothrond, because the Petty-Dwarves lived in those caves first. He’s got a point there, but Húrin still declares that he will take back the caves, as payback for Mîm having betrayed Túrin that one time. Mîm begs for his life, but Húrin ruthlessly kills him.
Húrin lives in the ruined cave palace for some time, but it’s pretty dismal. When he leaves, he only takes one piece of treasure with him: the Nauglamir.
Remember the Nauglamír? You probably don’t, so here’s a refresher: It’s a necklace that the Dwarves made for Finrod, as a thank-you for giving them treasure from Valinor. The Nauglamír is as light as spider silk, and it’s set with the Valinor gems. I’m almost certain that Tolkien based it on the Brisingamen, a necklace belonging to the goddess Freya. There is a myth in which Loki steals it, and Heimdall fights him over the necklace (according to Snorri, they were in the shape of seals), but most of that story is lost. Despite the lack of surviving information about it, we know that the Brisingamen was a common folkloric trope in Germanic mythology, because it’s referenced briefly in Beowulf and a few other sources.
Húrin travels east towards Doriath, and is captured by Elven scouts. They bring him to King Thingol. Húrin resents Thingol and Melian for having failed to protect his wife and kids. He blames them for everything bad that happened, instead of blaming Morgoth, who literally cursed his family to his face! This is because Morgoth made sure to paint Thingol and Melian in an especially unflattering light. Thingol and Melian are some of the only people in Middle-earth who stand a genuine chance against Morgoth, so from Morgoth’s perspective, the sooner they’re out of the picture, the better.
Húrin throws the Nauglamír at Thingol’s feet, declaring it his payment for having done such a great job at keeping Túrin, Morwen, and Nienor safe. Thingol feels genuinely bad for Húrin, and doesn’t say anything. After Húrin vents a little, Melian speaks up to say that Húrin’s perspective has been skewed by Morgoth. Seeing through Morgoth’s eyes is always going to twist the truth a little. She and Thingol loved Túrin, and Morwen and Nienor. It wasn’t their fault that Húrin’s family all left Doriath and went to their respective dooms.
The magic of Melian’s wall helps protect Doriath from Morgoth’s magic, so Húrin finally sees that she’s telling the truth. Ashamed, he picks up the necklace and gives it to Thingol as a sincere gift.
Then he leaves. No one knows where he goes, but it’s assumed that he throws himself into the sea in shame and despair. He did Morgoth’s bidding, without even knowing it. It’s a pathetic end for the greatest warrior of all Men.
After Húrin leaves, Thingol stares at the necklace for a long time. Then he has the bright idea to have it reforged, and to set the Silmaril in the middle. If sending Beren to get a Silmaril in the first place was a dumb idea, this is the dumbest possible idea. Remember, just having a Silmaril puts a target on Thingol’s back, because the sons of Fëanor are all magically bound to repossess it. But setting it into a Dwarven artefact is going to piss the Dwarves off, too!
Thingol almost can’t be blamed. The Silmaril is like the Ring in that it exerts an influence over the mind of whoever possesses it. Thingol no longer wants to keep it confined to his treasury, he wants to wear it and show it off, like Fëanor once did.

Elwe Singollo and the Nauglamír by K.Mendou
He summons the Dwarven blacksmiths who work in his court, and tells them that he wants to set the Silmaril in the necklace. The Dwarves are immediately struck with the same desire to have the Silmaril for themselves, but they put it out of their minds and do the job. It’s a long and difficult process, and Thingol personally goes down to the forge to look over their shoulders as they’re working. When the necklace is finished, the Dwarves present it to Thingol.
As Thingol goes to take it and put it around his neck, the Dwarves suddenly take it back from him. They demand to know why Thingol thinks he has a right to it, since it was made by Dwarves. The only Elf who had a right to it was Finrod Felegund, who’s dead. Húrin stole it from Nargothrond, so, Thingol doesn’t have true ownership of it.
Thingol sees that what they really want is the Silmaril. Without thinking, he insults them (paraphrased): “How dare you of the uncouth race demand anything of me, Elu Thingol, Lord of Beleriand! I’ve been here since the dawn of creation, long before the stunted people!” (Note that he proclaims himself the lord of not just Doriath, but all of Beleriand.)
You can imagine how well the Dwarves take that. They straight-up murder him, on the spot! And that’s how Elwë Graymantle, king of the oldest Elven kingdom of Middle-earth, the only person to have married one of the Ainur, and the only Sinda to have seen the Two Trees of Valinor, dies. Racism and sheer hubris.

Nauglamír by breath-art
As the Dwarves escape with the Nauglamír, Thingol’s warriors chase after them. They get almost as far as the river at the edge of Doriath when the Elves kill all but two of them. The remaining two Dwarves make it all the way to their home in the Blue Mountains, and tell the Dwarves there what happened. Or rather, they lie about what happened. They say that Thingol ordered their comrades killed for no reason, and that he cheated them out of their rightful reward. The Dwarves mourn for their lost craftsmen, and plan to wage war on Doriath.
The Elves bring the Nauglamír back to Queen Melian, who grieves for her husband. I can only imagine how sad and frustrated she must be. She warned Thingol this would happen, but couldn’t do anything until it was already too late. She sits beside Thingol’s body and cries, thinking about their first meeting in the forest under the stars. In her grief, the magic wall that she maintained for centuries dissolves. Melian tells Mablung to tell the resurrected Beren and Lúthien about the Silmaril. Then she disappears out of Middle-earth. In her true divine form, she returns to the garden of Lórien in Valinor, where she can cry in the company of other spirits. And that’s it, that’s the end of her story.
Without the magic wall, there’s nothing protecting Doriath from the Dwarves. They march straight into the Thousand Caves and slaughter as many Elves as they can find. Mablung dies in the battle. The Dwarves ransack the place, and steal the Silmaril.
Now you know why Elves and Dwarves hate each other!

I didn’t expect Beren and Lúthien to be part of this story again, but here they are. They hear about the terrible battle, and Beren leaves with his son Dior and a bunch of eastern forest Elves to ambush the Dwarves. When the Dwarf army comes back east, Beren and co. rain arrows down on them. Then ents, of all things, show up and drive the remaining Dwarves away.
Beren steals back the necklace from the Dwarf lord, and kills him. The Dwarf lord curses all the treasure as he dies. Beren just stares at the Silmaril, the jewel of Fëanor that he himself had stolen from Morgoth. He washes the blood off of it in the river, and the rest of the (now cursed) treasure is thrown in the water. Beren gives the Nauglamír to Lúthien, making her the most beautiful thing this side of Valinor. And that’s not subjective: Lúthien wearing the Silmaril produces such good magic that, for a while, Ossiriand becomes almost like another Valinor.
Dior, the half-human, half-elf son of Beren and Lúthien, is Thingol’s grandson and the rightful heir to the kingdom of Doriath. So, he leaves his parents to take his grandfather’s throne in Menegroth. The Sindar don’t have any problem being ruled by a half-elf. They’re just happy to have gotten a new king so fast, and to finally have something to celebrate.
One night, an Elf from Ossiriand knocks on the door of Menegroth, and gives Dior a chest with the Nauglamír in it. When Dior sees it, he knows that his parents have finally died naturally. He stares at the Silmaril and thinks about how his parents retrieved it from Morgoth. It’s said that they died so soon because the light of the Silmaril around Lúthien’s neck wasn’t meant for mortal eyes, but Dior clasps the necklace around his own neck. At that point, he’s the most beautiful person in the whole world, because he’s descended from Elves and Men and Maiar.

Dior Eluchîl by @vinyatar
But wait! Remember the baggage that comes attached to the Silmaril wherever it goes? That’s right — the sons of Fëanor! Lúthien was so magical that no one dared to attack her, but Dior has no such luck. Once the sons of Fëanor hear that he’s wearing a Silmaril, they come after him. Dior could have just given the Fëanorians the Silmaril, and avoided a violent conflict, but of course it doesn’t work like that. The seven brothers sneak into Doriath in the middle of winter, and attack. What follows is called the “Second Kinslaying,” because it’s only the second time the Elves have fought each other.
Celegorm, Curufin, and Caranthir all die, reducing the sons of Fëanor down to four. Dior and his wife Nimloth also die. Celegorm’s servants kidnap their two sons and leave them to freeze to death in the forest, which is especially cruel. That was a step too far for Maedhros, who looks for the boys in the woods for as long as he could, but he doesn’t find them. No one knows what happened to them.

The Second Kinslaying by Jenny Dolfen
And that’s the end of Doriath. Thingol’s kingdom lasted a good long time. Now Gondolin is the only safe place left…
#the silmarillion#the silm#the silm fandom#the silm art#tolkien#jrr tolkien#j.r.r. tolkien#turin#turin turambar#hurin#children of hurin#nienor#thingol#dior eluchil#nauglamir#glaurung#long post#cw#tw suic1de#tw inc*st
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i am in year twelve and i am stuck. i didn’t think i’d live to see this year. i don’t know what to do now.
#tw sui attempt#tw sui vent#cw sui ideation#suic1de#tw sui ideation#tw sa implied#sa trauma#sa vent#sa implied#sa mention#tw sa mention#cw sa#sa victim#tw sa#sa survivor#tw sui implied#c ptsd#living with ptsd#complex ptsd#ptsd#actually ptsd
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i can feel loneliness consuming me from the inside and nothing can fulfill the void. constant void, endless cycle.
#shitpost#988twt#cw vent#vent txt#tw sh in tags#txt post#self h@rm#txt#tw s3lf harm#tw sui ideation#tw sui implied#suic1de#tw sui talk#intrusive thoughts#tw sh destructive behaviour#severe depression#tw depressing stuff#depressing shit#tw depressing thoughts#sorry for the rant#for my mutuals#generalized anxiety disorder#living with adhd
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