#such a shitty day all around
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I don’t know how public-facing this info is, but: the inside-the-industry discourse right now is that Sony wants to move away from games-as-a-service, (imo correctly) perceiving that it’s a totally unsustainable model both on the front end (as players across the board are burnt out on pandemic-era design that incentivized constant play via FOMO) and the back end (since the expectations for the rate of release of such content is completely insane, especially for how little they charge/how out of control the wage:investor profits ratio is right now in the economy generally, and drives off good talent). So, like, good for the long term health of the game, maybe? But what did Sony cite as a major reason for acquiring Bungie in the first place?
Well… it was that they wanted to pivot TO games as a service.
Nobody at Bungie who can remotely be called “working on the game” likes delivering it as a service (source: trust me). And now the people who were most acutely aware what a terrible model it is are the ones out of a job. This whole situation is so, so fucked up.
Yeah, heard something about that too, specifically the stuff about Sony wanting to move away from games-as-a-service. And yeah, agreed, overall I would love for this trend to be phased out eventually, though I'm not sure how realistic that is given that the genre of MMOs has been going on for so long.
But that aside, yeah. It's a fucked up situation. I remember when Sony got Bungie and emphasised how they want to fund Destiny as a live service game and now what... Over night they changed their mind? And this wouldn't be such an issue, except in this case they decided to move in this direction by having so many employees laid off. Like, this could not have happened in a worse time, just as they're set on a schedule and are preparing an expansion and they need those people to deal with the workload. Horrible situation for everyone that was fired and horrible situation for everyone that's staying.
It feels such a tone-deaf decision made by people who sit in offices and have never interacted with a game dev or a video game. I even thought that the way they didn't announce any expansions post-TFS and with how they teased episodes, that those two things were a beginning process of moving away from a live service or at least moving away from the current model that expects so much stuff to be released in such short dev cycles.
But like, this shit can't happen over night. And it most certainly can't happen when you gut the studio and take away talented people who have been working on the game for years and who even agree that live service models are awful. And worst of all, not the first nor the last wave of lay offs recently.
#destiny 2#bungie#ask#such a shitty day all around#and like. yeah moving away from live service models is something i'd be so happy for#if this was properly planned out and didn't result in lay offs
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i needed to express a sentiment in the creative stylings of @dunmeshiminimumwage
#eliot posts#dunme#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#sorry to put toshiro in the roll of shitty job interviewer lmao#but he was the best fit for ''guy that wants me to read their mind''#laios being my internal monologue here#i was on my THIRD interview of the day i was Dying#tho since the prev two interviews i had were for similar positions and told me their salaries outright at least i could use that number#(though tbh my work persona is more of a kabru. my customer service voice is unparalleled)#(at my first job even my coworkers thought i was sooo cheerful til i got too comfy and casually made a joke abt wanting to asphyxiate on a#plastic shopping bag like a sea turtle. in front of my sweet elderly coworker. oops!)#(also this job was during quarantine and after weeks of working together i took my mask off in front of one coworker for the first time#and she called like half the department over from their registers to look at how pretty i was??? prettyboy powers unmatched ig)#(also my first interview today went SO well i charmed that interviewer so good despite my lack of qualifications)#(she even complimented my social skills and said i seemed like the type who could get along well and make good conversation with anyone!)#(which is important bc i was interviewing for an elder care position. also old people especially tend to think i am a Delightful Young Lad)#(unless i accidentally make a morbid joke around them ig lmaooo. or. well. some of them like those too. but not that one coworker lol)#(if only that skill transferred over to actually making friends irl. my autistic ass has so few close irl connections)#(i hope my exceedingly short list of character references does not prevent me from getting hired)#AND ALSO my first job asked the same wage question and i said twelve dollars#and they were like all our new employees start at 7.75#the union insists that we pay all new employees a whopping 50 cents above min wage. (we'd pay less if we could)#like dawg why did you ask that then??? if my answer did not matter at all???
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wish you were here
#persona 3#kotone shiomi#akihiko sanada#akiham#Cubey's Art#drew this a while ago and forgot to post it lol#I realized that akihiko…….. probably doesn’t have many pictures of his family#and he’s a shy kid too#one of those people who likely doesn’t love having his picture taken even at the best of times#he probably humoured Kotone when she wanted to goof around in a random shitty photo booth at the local strip mall#an old analog one where the film is all expired and the colours are slightly off#and then he just kind of forgot about it until the girls were cleaning out her room and found the strip in an overdue library book#I wrote about half of that fic………….. maybe I’ll finish it one day……..#hamuko arisato#minako arisato#persona 3 femc#persona 3 fanart#persona 3 portable#p3#p3 femc#illustration#digital art
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I think having 1.3k followers legally allows you to start a cult so here we go
FOLLOWERS, WE ARE AN EVIL MANIAC CULT NOW >:3
#shakespeare approves#I love you all thanks so much <3#I don’t know why you’d wanna stick around my shitty little ex-shadowban barely-a-gimmick-anymore but I’m glad you did <3#I consider you all friends jsyk thanks for being awesome :)#Have a nice day guys <3
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I want to read about Jamie courting the hell out of Roy, wining and dining him, bringing him coffee in the morning, leaving him pastries on his desk with a sweet post it note, buying him flowers, making him hella flustered and panicky at the lack of control because that's always been Roy's role when dating someone
#he also brings him soup and medicine when he's sick of course#and sometimes he'll carry his bag or the groceries bags#the first time Roy stays over at Jamies and Jamie makes sure he's got ice packs for his knee and the right freeze cream to give him a massa#he'll bump hips with him while walking and look him with those big smiley eyes#he lets Roy borrow his hoodie one day and then proceeds to be unable to stop starting at him cause he loves him so much in his clothes#he wants to do all the domestic shit with Roy#he smiles so big every time they brush their teeth together or go grocery shopping or hold hands in the car#I have this obsession with picturing Roy having a very shitty day with chronic pain and Jamie just finds him curled up on the couch facing#the back of it grimacing in pain wrapped up in a blanket#and he knees on the floor right by his head and wraps his arms around him like one going over Roy side but under Roy's arm then holding his#their hands over Roy's chest#slowly nuzzling his neck giving little temple kisses whispering soothing words#roy jamie#royjamie#jamieroy#jamie x roy#roy x jamie
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here together
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobotomy corporation spoilers#abram lobcorp#i didnt know that the song that plays during day 48 ending is called 'here together'.#couldnt hear it well because i typically have my sound low (sensetive to louder sounds) and also the dialog fucked me up#so when i pressed on it to hear it. to actually listen to it. then to see the name and remember what it Looked like#i got teary eyed. sorry.#it happened quite. afew times when finishing this shitty thing#i was thinking of how camren's not quite corpse looked as if it were reaching out to him inside the container#how it looked as if she had wings. abrams words. the line from one story that was--#something like 'we were hoping it was just one big prank and she would hop out fro. around the corner with a smile on her face'#how do you move forward when all you think you cause is pain? when everything else youve done only brought to bring people you love to thei#downfall and demise inside agony and fear as they lay dying. none of that was merciful. none of that was just. they were told to carry on#her dream and he views as if all he had done was to become cruel and wasnt fit and never even began to finish what she started.#it was so striking to me. the language he used. sleeping. alseep. waken. when all the others never sugarcoated it#in lobcorp they always said it straight. 'suicide' 'killed' 'dead'. but he used something far more.. peaceful? kind in wording in a way.#softer. describing death as if it were a merciful thing. an end that suits them and not something to be afraid of. to just... sink. to slee#to be with carmen again. to put everything to an end#the place they built with their hands. to have it just... stop. not in a way of repeating and staying in the moment#but of a permanent end. to 'sleep'. to die. to just.... stop. forever. to see no more. to do no more#to not be able to do Anything for when ever he had done Something it just cause agony. cruel hands partaking in acts he so deeply#regrets. everything is just regret. it sounds nice. to move on. to just move forward. but how can you move forward when all you think you#bring to those you cherished and couldnt leave behind is pain?#ill likely move this somewhere else as well. ive been meaning to talk about abram#the rest as well actually. mostly just the few final days w abel adam and abram since i am STUCK ON DAY 49#oh dear i uh typed a lot in the tags. oops
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i'm finally doing it. i'm finally making that stupid ass horror character analysis i promised myself to make like a month ago. and DAMN this shit is actually so fun ngl horrortale is so beautifully tragically written. i've been listening to SAS's horror theme the entire time i've been doing this because it's actually a pretty good theme for depicting horror ans i need to get into a HIM mood. this sets the tone. my hands are so sweaty but i also have my fan blasting at me so i don't know why the hell i'm so sweaty wtf. anyways idk when i'll finish this but it'll be soon TRUST (i need this character analysis more than anyone 💀💀 this doc is just a first draft since horror is like wayyy more complex than i originally thought wtf)
#tricule rant#horror my beloved i think he's my favorite mtt member after this#i hope that one day SAS allows for a qna for horrortale and we could get answers for horror canon adjacent mtt. in my dreams tho......#i have been SCOURING the internet for horrortale content all day today. i think i reread the comic like 5 times#listened to all the canon osts. watched a play through of the original flash game#even checked fucking SAS's PATREON and TWITTER for content. smh#there are 3 comics that revolve around horror/horror paps and i cant find one of them wtf#i found the family meeting and sanservice one but i cant find the date with horror sans and its bothering me#the only thing i can find is a shitty youtune dub that doesn't even have the full comic. UGHHHH#where are those archivists that have all the canon content like killer has#there are like 4 different killer sans canon content archives and i cant manage to find this ONE comic from horrortale. kms#oops not patreon i mean deviantart. i aint paying for horrortale content no matter how much i love it
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i might get some hate for this depending on where this post goes but i think lesboys are so valid and the discourse about them is so ridiculous. like you guys shouldn't have to deal with all that and it frustrates me that people throw hissy fits over an identity that literally does not affect them at all.
"but men cant be lesbians-" wrong. butch lesbians and trans men have a really closely connected history with each other that practically intersects and you should really do some research on that before you make blanket statements, not to mention that gender and sexuality is weird and wobbly and fluid and a very personal experience. it means a different thing to each person. being a man can be something completely different and saying stuff like this ignores people like demiboys, demigirls, genderfluid and genderflux people etc. these people will really preach "demolish the gender binary!! love is love!!" until someone's relationship with gender and sexuality is a little too freaky for them to handle and be challenged by lmaoo
"ohhh but what about the cishet men who say they're lesbians to prey on women-" YEAH WHAT ABOUT THEM????? THIS AIN'T ABOUT THEM BRO!!!!! this argument also REEKS of terfy "trans women are just predatory men!!!111!!1" rhetoric and it grosses me out. yeah some men are gross and do try to pull this but that does not negate someone's entire identity completely just because of a few bad actors, you know that right? actual black and white behaviour.
queer discourse is silly and i don't know why it's a thing. just let people exist. it isn't that hard. we have worse things to worry about than whether someone calls themselves a lesboy or not. i think we need to unplug our ears and yank our heads out of the sand and remember that the queer community is what it is because of our unique and amazing diversity. arguing over labels like school children isn't gonna help that. damn.
#also this should be obvious but terfs fuck off go explode you are not welcome here this is a terf UNsafe space#terfs fuck off#terfs dni#terfs eat shit#terfs explode#this post is really random but i'm actually quite compelled and interested in queer discourse even though i think it's stupid and silly.#i'm compelled by how angry other people get over literally nothing and ironically i end up discovering some new identities and developing a#-newfound love for the diversity of our community#like i could be reading some shitty post about an identity i don't know about and all i would be thinking is ''that exists? thats so cool!'#and then i end up ignoring the bad post and research the identity and think ''man i love how queer we all are''#exclus people seem really sad. like im not saying this to be mean i genuinely think they seem really frustrated by everything.#where's the joy in limiting your support and policing people around all day. where's the fun and growth in that. where's the learning.#i obviously cannot change people's minds but if i could then i'd make sure no one falls into the trap of being an exclusionist because that#-sounds like it really sucks.#going full hippie mode in the tags lol#i'd rather be a hippie than make allies with terfs#anyway lesboys are cool gender is an illusion buy gold bye
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P:WotR Portraits: Wenduag & Daeran
I did the one for Wenduag back when I was testing her legs, but today I got the idea to recreate Daeran's portrait image. I think it turned out really well, even if the colors aren't quite right and the pose is a bit awkward.
[reference pics and alternate crop of Daeran's portrait under the cut]
#ts4#the sims 4#ts4 fantasy#sims 4 fantasy#fandom sims#p:wotr#pwotr#pathfinder wrath of the righteous#wenduag#wenduag pwotr#pwotr wenduag#daeran arendae#daeran pwotr#pwotr daeran#wenduag's pose is much better bc I didn't make it lmao.#I need to give wenduag different (short) hair though.#and unfortunately I wasn't able to make hers be underground without either building some kind of cave room or going to the hidden lot.#which takes a lot of effort or several cheats so I just didn't bother. Especially since even then it doesn't match what I had in mind.#I am really happy with how Daeran's turned out though. The ''set'' turned out better than I expected and relight made the lighting better.#I made his pose too. It's not very good but it's decent enough for a quick screenshot.#these aren't edited at all aside from cropping and running my usual smoothing and sharpening actions.#but I still like how they turned out.#I'm typing this at 2am but the post is gonna go up at 2am.#hopefully I actually get to play pathfinder tomorrow/later today...#I did have a TON of fun just hanging out with my dnd group tonight though so I'm not mad at all. We all needed a break lmao.#a bunch of shitty days/weeks all around.#(izzy scout if you see this... 💖💖💖💖💖💖)
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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours#which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart#not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently#EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that#there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM#THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS#and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME#LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED#so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour#like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally#have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week#but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN#and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE#FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR#AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill#it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about#and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors#and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593#my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it#bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment#i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time#i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin#and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day#omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES#LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS#hella slaves to capitalism
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So as we're thinking about the casting of Toph in the Netflix adaptation, please please please remember that Toph isn't REALLY blind representation. Like so many other 'blind' characters, the narrative gives them superpowers that let them operate in the world in ways an irl blind person can't (Daredevil is a good example of this too). So let's not put those expectations on irl blind (or visually impaired) actresses and say "well, they're blind, so they'll actually move like Toph does!!" No. They won't. And to expect them to interact with the world like a fictional, superpowered blind person does is, in my opinion, pretty abelist.
It's a disability - shying away from the fact that blind people don't have perfect echolocation isn't putting them down. Refusing to acknowledge that they need aids to help them get around the world isn't helping anyone, it's dismissing what they deserve to have provided for them.
I'm not saying no visually impaired person could possibly play Toph well, what I'm saying is that I've been seeing a lot of posts claiming that a blind actress would be the only one able to accurately (and safely) portray the way Toph interacts with the world completely forgetting that Toph uses vibrations in the earth to see....pretty much everything - something irl blind people CANNOT DO.
We of course need to see more visually impaired representation on screen, but I think the best way to do that is to write characters that don't have superpowers that negate their disability. Have characters be strong and badass without declaring that 'well it they were REALLY blind, then they would be weak - they're strong because their superpower NEGATES their blindness to a large extent' or god forbid 'irl blind people develop superpowers, so if they need aids of any sort, they're just lazy and not working hard enough to compensate for their lack of sight'.
Just something to keep in mind when thinking about casting - if they don't cast a blind actress for Toph, unless I see otherwise, I'm not going to assume it's because they just don't like blind people. I'm going to assume they took into account the entirety of making the show and what was a realistic way to portray Toph and what was reasonable to expect the actress to do.
#natla#avatar the last airbender#netflix avatar#atla#just be careful your desire for representation doesn't inadvertently harm the irl ppl with that disability#assuming ppl with disabilities have their other senses develop to a superpower level that negates their disability is shitty#can a bunch of visually impaired ppl get around just fine without aids - sure! But to expect ALL of them to without aids isn't a great look#i mean at the end of the day we just need better REAL representation for ppl with disabilities#Echo was a great one b/c her abilities did nothing to negate her deafness or her prosthetic#Nor can she read lips perfectly - she needs interpreters - and Fisk's tech way around the disability was shown to be a super shitty way to#handle it - she rejected that aid because it showed how little he cared about changing himself to learn ASL so he could communicate with he#Oracle's computer genius doesn't negate her need for a wheelchair (that I've seen) - she doesn't make a suit so she can walk again#so everyone take a breath before you jump to conclusions or fucking start harassing the child they cast for Toph
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core 3
#ganondoodles#art#concept art#zelda#tloz#loz#hylia#you know how it is#i thought about adding a ribcage around this one to make it clearer what it is#but it would cover up too much#its a rough concept anyway#its all i could manage after this shitty day
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someone I sorta knew died suddenly last night and he was like... 40 at the oldest. he had a 6-year-old daughter. the family (whom I'm actually close to) have no idea what happened. they're going to have an autopsy. I'm heartbroken for them
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why cant my dad just do things for himself once and awhile im so tired of this
#he has physical issues and mental but bro he doesnt even try to help himself#hes in pain constantly and wont do jack shit about it#and he KNOWS if he starts doing a little more than sit and watch tv all day he'll feel atleast slightly better#the healing process is painful both physically and mentally but he hasnt even started it#he makes me so mad oh my god#i grew up with my mom telling me “he acts that way because hes in pain” DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT#he literally tries nothing. hes gonna die in the next 10 years#hes unhealthy and overweight and barely eats and his teeth are all messed up and he cant eat anything without it hurting like hell#but nooo he wont go to the dentist noooo#we HAVE insurance its not like a money thing jesus christ#ive barely had a father because of this he's constantly in pain and so he doesnt want to talk to anyone hes threatened to hit mymom and#later blamed it on his back pain#oh my god i cannot live with him anymore im so tired of it#he doesnt even.work my mom has to work until night to feed us and keep this house running and then my dad buys random shit off the Internet#and then fucking turns around and YELLS at my mom after she gets home from a looong day of work asking Why she spends so much money#its HER money. idgaf if you share a bank account or whatever its HERS she earned all of that and spends it on shit YOU NEED.#he has brought NOTHING to this family for the last 10 years besides being a father andhe DOESNT EVEN DO THAT#ohhh and his medicine he takes for all this pain “helps him” no the fuck it doesnt hes still in somuch pain. and then it makes him tired#and he sleeps all day ohmygod#hes just there at this point. i come home and dont even look at him cuz i Know hes sitting in that stupid chair in the living room#ive tried so hard to understand that “oh he's just..acting like that cuz hes in pain and .cant help it” I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE#it feels like i barely have a father#and the audacity he has to boss me around. like i understand im your child but oh my god let me live. i dont wanna end up like you#okay hes in pain yeah? DO SOMETHING ABOUT. IT that is NO excuse to be a shitty dad. NO excuse#oh yeah i have a dad but hes emotionally distant and never sees me becausehe wont get off his lazy ass#but yet i cant stop loving him. hes so much like me sometimes and that scares me#im going mad okay
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drew a Felix body headcannon like, quite some time back with a friend and realised I didn't do one with Cyber (I'm...SO sorry Mr.Cyber you're not wearing muscle Ts for me you big nerd 😔)
#donodoodle#bomb rush cyberfunk#brc faux#brc felix#I made Felix big but he's like actually rather muscular and agile to me#Compared to a certain someone who canonically travels around in a bug pod even in his shitty boss battles#🤨🤨#I have more Cyber arm headcannons but basically I feel like he had to grow up with prosthetics#One day as a kid his classmate accidentally popped it off and no one knew how to put it back so he was like armless for the day#And he swore to never have that feeling of utter humiliation again#So as an adult he'll look into permentantly shoving an arm into his body but doctors obviously don't recommend it#So he went to Flesh Prince but he was too picky with the poor kid's options so he went to make his own prosthetic#But eventually I feel like he'll strip away all the good looking parts because of its weight#And get really upset that nothing is working--he actually just mourns for normal human arms back#So out of frustration and embarrassment he just bolts those metal sticks into his shoulders and--well#Has to be carted out by one of Futurism because he butchered his own surgery
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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