#such a shithole oh noooo

[fancynecr0mancy]

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[angstigone]

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[lesbianrobin]

wrote a whole post and lost it so this will be the abridged version but has anyone ever written an au where shannon has a hot mamma mia summer and hooks up with buck and eddie and then oh noooo she's pregnantttt so she tells them both and they all decide to like be friends and just get a paternity test after the baby is born. but then shannon has like a rough labor and chris is in the NICU so they just forget about it for the immediate future they're like okay that doesn't even matter they just focus on shannon's recovery and getting chris healthy.

and suddenly chris is four months old and technically buck has his own little shithole apartment with four roommates while eddie and shannon are dating and living together but in practicality eddie and shannon barely spend any time together and buck stays over on the couch all the time and he and eddie have become Buck And Eddie and they both love little baby chris so much that they don't really Want to do the paternity test anymore because once that happens their little bro parenting arrangement will fall apart and one of them will have no claim to their beautiful baby boy...

meanwhile shannon has never been more stressed in her fucking life and she wants out. everyone keeps saying that it'll get easier and she sees buck and eddie both settling into parenthood and enjoying it but she just feels like she's in a cell and the walls are closing in. at the moment she's the only one on the birth certificate and she's acutely aware that buck and eddie could both just dip if they wanted to but she can't. so she starts pushing the paternity test issue and they both keep making stupid ass excuses to put it off and her and eddie's relationship is a fucking mess and she wants OUT.

so finally she's fed up with it and she goes and has the test done without telling them. and when she gets the results back she updates chris's birth certificate and she knows that she should tell them but well. now that she's faced with having to tell the guy who's dedicated his entire life to christopher for the past six months that actually he doesn't need to be here. she thinks she understands why they didn't want to get it done. and now that eddie's name is on the paper next to hers she thought that the anxiety and the trapped feeling would let up but it doesn't. if anything it makes her feet itch more. and she tells herself well eddie can do anything he needs legally. and buck will probably stick around and help even though he's not the father. so they don't really NEED her christopher will be fine and buck will have an excuse to stay and she and eddie won't have to keep playing pretend.

so eddie wakes up the next morning to a crying baby, an empty bed, and a fresh legal document with his name on it.

[thedeluluverse]

Author’s Note:  Welp, this ended up way longer than I plannedXD Sorry for the delays but I hope y’all like it and please please please gimme ALLLLLL the feedback! Been a while since I wrote and very nervous haha XD

Summary: Y’all have been friends for 5 years, but there are still sides to him that you’d never imagined. Will his tricks work or push you away?

Pairing:  prisonguard!sunoo x inmate!femalereader (mentions of Sunghoon)

Rating: 18+

Genre:  angst, smut, one-shot, prison au, yandere fic, happy ending

Word Count: 4,124

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI  extreme “Brought the Heat Back” feelings, explicit content, oral sex (f. receiving), breast play, squirting, clit play, praise kink, neck kissing, degradation, unprotected p in v (be smart kids), yandere/obsession themes, secretly monitored self-pleasure, wrongful imprisonment, Y/N glossing over red flags (don’t do this irl pls)

Since the summer before you went into high school, you and Sunoo have been friends. It started when you went to his friend Jake's house for an end-of-middle-school pool party, and you both bonded over judging the annoying tweens around you.

As fate would have it, you ended up having many of the same class periods all throughout high school and grew even closer over several study sessions. Both went solo together to dances but acted like one asked the other when anyone asked to avoid looking pathetic.

That is until the senior year Sadie Hawkins dance. A new student had joined the roster and immediately became the focal point of school for you. His name was Sunghoon, and he was the right amount of reserved and sarcastic to give you heart eyes.

Despite your nerves and insecurities, you worked up the courage to ask Hoon (a nickname he recently accepted after many hangouts together) to the dance. To your surprise, he rapidly accepted your invitation!

Proud of yourself and overwhelmed with excitement, you call Sunoo after school to tell him of this accomplishment and see if he wanted to go shopping with you this weekend.

After a quick snack, you call your best friend, "Hey, Sun-sun, are you busy?" "Nope, Y/N, just avoiding homework, haha. What's up?" "Ohhhhh well, nothing much except I asked Hoon to the dance, and he said yes! Can you believe that???".

Deafening silence extinguishes your enthusiasm as quickly as it sparked, "Um, Sunoo...you there?"

A couple more seconds pass, and he says, "The call is still going, isn't it?" With a scoff, you retort, "Oh, excuse me, sassy king, it was hard to tell when you made no indication that you heard me."

He has the nerve to get offended and goes, "Sorry if I didn't clap for joy at the fact that for the first time since we came to this shithole, I'll have to stay home for a dance. I mean, whoopee for you, but you gave me no warning that you'd abandon me like this."

You are speechless. It's the last reaction you expected, and now you feel bad for not at least letting him know. "I... I'm not sorry I asked him, but I apologize for not setting you up or warning you first. I can try to hook you up with my friend if you want!" "No, it’s fine. Have fun. I have to get started on homework. Talk to you later. Unless you forget all about me...”

With that, he hangs up and leaves you stunned, sitting on your bed slack-jawed. You honestly thought he would be happy for you. Feeling lost, you call your friend Ara, "I have no idea why he would react that way. Can you believe that?!"

She gives a disappointed sigh, then says, "I actually can. Imagine if he gave you no heads up and sprung on you having a date to the dance. And don't even pretend like that'd be okay with you, girl.”

Dejectedly, you admit that she’s right and just can’t get over the intensity of his reaction, to which Ara says, “Oh come on, you can’t be this clueless... he has had a crush on you forever.” “WHAT? Noooo, don’t give me false hope like that.”

She snorts. “Heh, you finally admit it. You have a thing for him! Well, it looks like you have to choose. Pretty new boy or tried and true rock?”

Pondering her words, you make a plan of action, “Hmmm, well, I may never get lucky enough for a guy like Hoon not to reject me, so I’ll stick with that, and then next week, I’ll tell Sunoo how I feel.”

Giving a hum of approval for your plan, Ara warns you not to play with either boy’s emotions or neglect your own. “Do what makes you happy, Y/N; whoever you don’t choose will just have to deal.”

Meanwhile, Sunoo avoids you like the plague for the next week, even going so far as to switch lab partners.

All of that is almost forgotten once the day of the dance finally arrives. You feel like the prettiest vampire queen in a floor-length ruby-toned number that lays perfectly off your shoulders and hugs all the right places.

After Hoon's mom drops you off, the night is a blur. A magical blur where he indeed must be a prince in another life with how well he is treating you. After a couple of slow songs with y'all almost kissing, you excuse yourself to the restroom to try to settle your nerves and try to summon some courage.

You exit, and upon reaching the hallway, you see Sunoo. He looks awestruck, and you blush. "Hey, Y/N, I'm really sorry. I overreacted, and well, I miss my friend. Will she accept me back?"

Pretending to think, you finally smirk and say, "I suppose I will accept your apology. I missed you too!" After tightly embracing each other, he steps back and says, "Well, my beautiful bestie, you wanna head back in and ditch Mr. Stuck Up? The chaperones are dissociating, so I'll be able to sneak in no problem."

You back away, upset, "First off, flattery won't get me to allow you to talk badly of him or convince me to sneak you in. Secondly, he is not stuck up; he is just still fairly new and reserved. Once you give him a chance, you'll see he is really cool!"

Rolling his eyes, he walks away, waving you off, "Have fun with my replacement. I'll see you around, maybe.."

In shock, you are frozen in the shadows when Hoon comes to find you. "There you are. You were gone so long that I got worried about you and had to come look for you. Everything okay?"

Smiling away the tears threatening to ruin your makeup, you nod and head back inside. You try to enjoy the rest of the dance, but the look in Sunoo's eyes haunts your memory.

It was like when he got picked last for dodgeball and by the opposite team, not even by you, but more intense and frightening if you're honest.

After graduation, you hear he got accepted to the security guard training program at the local jail while you were still waiting to hear back from your photography internship. It was annoying, but you try to hope it'll still happen.

The park was quiet for once, so you head over to take some more nature shots in your free time. Panning over to the left of you, a figure comes into focus, coming towards you. Shockingly, you see Sunoo smiling in your direction, and anxiety freezes you in place.

"Hello, stranger," he quips as he sits beside you on the bench. You scoot away from him, annoyed that he was so lighthearted when he was the one who parted ways.

"Can I help you, Mr. Kim?" "Why so formal? It's just me, Y/N." Crossing your arms, you look the other way and say, "Well, I don't tend to act friendly to people who walk out of my life for stupid reasons."

Pouting, he gets up suddenly, leaving you even more confused than before, then reappears about 5 minutes later with two cups in his possession. "All right, peace treaty apple juice. Let’s forget about all the high school silliness and share this with me before I go off to training.”

Almost denying his request, you realize how dehydrated you are and say fuck it downing the whole thing.

Not even 5 minutes pass, and you start to feel weird. You are barely able to convey this to Sunoo before you pass out. Unable to tell how long you were out, you awaken to being handcuffed and shoved in a police car.

Through half-open eyes, you scan around for Sunoo or anyone you know, but all you meet are the blinding sirens, which only make the pounding in your head worse.

The entire ride to the processing center, your mind is racing, trying to figure out how you got in this predicament, and freaking out because your independent life has only just begun and you had so many plans!

They bring you in and take your mugshot. Nobody is telling you what is happening, assuming you are only playing naïve to pull one over on them.

Going down the hall of multiple holding cells, the current inmates look just as confused as you feel, wondering what such a young girl is doing in this wretched place.

Distracted with your thoughts, you practically are thrown into a tiny room with just a bed, sink, and a hole to use the bathroom with no windows.

About to ask why you were not given the option for a call or are being separated from the rest of the people (not that you were upset, but it was worrying you how dangerously you were being treated), the female guard shoves you into the room and slams the door in your face with a "Shut the fuck up you waste of space."

Seems like around 3 days have passed. The only way you can tell is because you have been given 6 meal trays and heard from your trek to your room on the first day, inmates being upset they only get 2 meals daily.

While you are still confused about why the hell you are in this place, your strategy at this point is just to do as you are told and try to stay low until you can speak to someone with legitimate authority.

With this new mindset, the rest of your body is returning to normal, which is mostly a good thing...

The exception is your libido. It has returned with a vengeance, and once the lights go out on the 4th day, you decide to risk it not having spotted a camera yet.

Between your regular sex drive and all of the unfairness and frustrations with your situation, you cannot hold back any longer.

Right before you are about to hit your climax, you hear the keys in your door and freeze.

Pretending to sleep, you roll over onto your side and stick your fingers in your mouth to hide the smell of your sex, hoping they will buy that you still soothe yourself this way as an almost adult.

The door swings open, and you hear the footsteps approach you. You try to keep breathing normally even though you are terrified. The figure above you chuckles, and your heart plummets.

You try to convince yourself you are going insane, but there is no denying it once you hear the voice say, "Now, when did you start sucking your fingers when you sleep? In all of our sleepovers, I have never seen you do that."

You shoot up and start bawling, finally letting your body release all of the emotions that have been pent up since this whole ordeal began. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him down into a tight embrace. Big mistake.

As he stands back up, he notices the sweat along your hairline from your previous activity and widens his eyes in concern, "Oh no, Y/N, do you feel okay? Are you getting a fever? You felt warm just now."

Blushing quicker than ever, you fervently shake your head in denial, "No, Sun-sun, I feel fine; was just a little warm, I promi-“

He cuts off your sentence by grabbing ahold of your chin and tilting your head up as he moves even closer to your ear whispering “Don’t lie to me when I saw everything you needy slut.”

Your eyes widen in horror, and confusion clouds your brain again as you look at him through your peripheral vision, "Wait, what do you mean? How? Why am I in here?"

Sinisterly chuckling, he gives you his cheeky smile. "Patience, I'll answer your questions and then help you with your little dilemma. Terribly sorry to interrupt, by the way, but you looked so sinful that I was hoping to catch you in the act." "Um, and what makes you think I would've let you? Or even needed your help?"

Sitting on the bed with you, he quirks up an eyebrow, "Slow down, I still haven't answered the first round of questions."

Pouting, you sit back against the wall and hold your knees to your chin, a medley of unpleasant feelings swirling in your gut.

Tucking a loose piece of hair behind your ear, he begins addressing your queries. "Okay so I may have commandeered the feed from your camera into a personal monitor so I can keep an eye on you. No biggie between friends, right?"

Your face turns red at him, using that title from when he went to M.I.A. for weeks after graduation. "How dare you..." you scowl at him. "Oh, now calm down, drama queen, so I can continue with my answers."

Begrudgingly, you do so but not without a lethal side eye aimed at the wall, slightly scared to direct it his way.

You never thought your friend would spy on you or call you a slut and aren’t keen to find out what other secrets are lying in wait.

Continuing his replies, “I know you would’ve let me because even if you try to deny it, we both have had feelings for each other since week one. As to you needing my help, I know you had everything perfectly under control but I feel like you crave more than your fingers kitten.”

Not daring to speak when he clocked your shit so accurately and your face looks like a tomato, you just hide your face. "Knew it." He states smugly. "Alright, on to the next matter: why are you here? It's all thanks to me, of course."

Slowly, you raise your head in horror as your entire body shakes. Scooting back as much as possible, you ask, "Wait, you are playing a trick on me, right? There is no reason for you to do that. Nice try, dude.."

He stands up and starts pacing around the room, "Oh, I had my reasons. First, things were getting too serious with that Hoon guy, and I didn't like it. And you might have found out you got accepted to a photography internship, which would take you away from me, and that can't happen...not yet. So, I would check your mail before you and only take out mail from the places you applied."

You stand up now with fists balled up at your sides. "What are you going on about? Not yet? Why don't you want me to be happy?" you scream at him with tears running down your face for the second time tonight.

As he approaches you, he wipes a tear from your cheek and kisses your forehead, "Oh darling, you still don't get it. I want nothing more than for you to be happy. Just not without me and not before I unlock the key to your tight pussy that I've dreamt about for years."

You freeze, staring at the wall, "What did you do? You still haven't answered why I got thrown in here and treated like a villain. Tell. Me. Now."

He sits you down on the bed again, looking down as if you were a rat caught in his trap. Which you were, by the way.

He squats down, staring into your soul as he reveals the remaining puzzle pieces. "Well, I got accepted into this place as a star trainee with excellent scores. They basically told me to use my best judgment and make them proud. My parents were not thrilled that I hadn't pursued a more upstanding career choice, so I wanted to prove to them that I could thrive here. You just happened to be the perfect muse to show them all my skills."

Taking a deep breath and looking too excited to finish relaying this info to you, he continues, "Well, when I spotted you in the park looking dejected but having that trying-to-distract-yourself look in your eyes, I knew it was my time to strike. I expertly mixed apple-flavored alcohol in the juice and then 'spilled' some on myself. I called a couple of buddies in the force to come over and help execute my plan."

All of your tears have dried up as you are burning up, wondering who the person is in front of you. "Don't worry, it gets better," he says as he pats your knee.

Cracking his neck, he nears the end of his story. "So basically, you are in here because I made you look like an underaged alcoholic by having the empty bottle right next to you, then lying to the officers and saying you were pressuring me to drink with you. Oh, also, you were trying to sell shots to our classmates and even the middle schoolers. They are so worried about this getting out with the mayoral election coming up and your parents being his friends that they aren’t allowing any visitors or calls from or for you until the sentencing.”

You stand up, knocking him on his ass in fury, "How could you?! If you had just told me how you felt ages ago, you could have gotten what you wanted instead of keeping it in and becoming this creepy psychopath! I demand a lawyer!”

He cackles while fully lying down on the floor, "You have no pull, sweetheart, but nice try, hah! Even your parents aren’t asking about you, hoping this all blows over and they can maintain their perfect image."

With his eyes closed, still laughing, you cage him beneath you and start to choke him. This time, he freezes and smirks up at you, "Oh, this is how you wanna play it, huh? Pretending you are furious instead of insanely turned on and hoping this ends with you knowing how I feel inside of you. Cute, really."

You scowl down at him and are about to get off of him when he roughly grabs your hips and pulls you back down onto him. "Oh no, there's no getting out of this. How does it feel finally being able to feel how excited you make me? Honestly, it feels like you are excited, too, with the wet spot you left on me."

Face flushing in embarrassment, you glance at the floor to escape his intense gaze, but all masking ability flies out of the window as soon as he bucks his hips against you, eliciting a breathy whimper from your throat.

The moment it exits your mouth, you bite your lip and try to escape his hold. Or at least you meant to...

Instead, you end up grinding against his hardening cock through both of your pants. Feeling his deep chuckle against your clit, you spasm, and he just grins as he pulls you down to attack your lips with a furiously passionate set of long-awaited kisses, entwining your tongues and both assaulting the other's lips with teasing sucks and bites.

When you finally can pull away and catch your breath, he sits up as you wobbly stand and immediately backs you into the bed with his arms on either side of your head, licking from your collarbone up to your ear lobe, enjoying you moaning his name.

That was the final straw of resolve. It snapped like the tiniest twig in your core, and an animalistic need overwhelmed you as you dug your claws into his back underneath the plain white under-uniform tee that clung to his muscles just right.

Gasping for air, you beg, “Sunoo. Please...I need you.." while trying to undress him.

He smirks while he cocks his head to the side, "You're lucky hearing you beg was my last thread of teasing you leaving. Strip for me, needy whore."

With that, you spring onto your feet like a lithe cat and strip with lightning speed, laying back on the bed with everything exposed down to your arousal-soaked lips.

You usually were shyer, but you couldn't help it after the earlier interruption, plus finding out he felt the same way. You would deal with the red flags after you came.

Staying in his simple yet sexy white tee and dark grey workout pants, he descends like a hawk. He licks a broad stripe from your pussy to your sensitive bundle of nerves, making you cry out and grip his hair to keep your soul from flying out of your body too rapidly.

Immediately, you trap his neck between your thighs, not letting him weasel his way away and tease you for a second more.

He picks up on your neediness, and tongue fucks your velvety cunt whilst moaning into you, letting any insecurity of smelling or tasting weird disappear without a trace.

Rising up on his elbows, he makes a show of licking his lips, leaving his chin shiny with your pleasure, and makes his way up your body so you can taste yourself off of him as he makes circles with his thumb on your growingly sensitive clit.

Feeling your high about to crash upon you, you exhale, "Sunoo, I'm about to." Yet, before you can finish your sentence, he shoves you off of the edge by taking your plump breast into his mouth and matching the pace of his fingers with his tongue around your nipple.

As you cum, he disappears between your thighs again, not wanting to waste a single drop (or leave any evidence) while continuing to squeeze and slap your tits. When he can feel you are getting close again, he quickly makes space between your bodies, causing you to sit up and dig your nails into his thighs, making him moan loudly.

Then he adds salt to the wound by lightly slapping your pussy, making you squirt for the first time all over the bottom of his shirt and dick print.

Straddling him now that he is fully erect is torturous; while you nibble along his neck and behind his ear, you ask, “C’mon Sunoo, I need to feel you in me...please.”

Throwing his head back to allow you to kiss more of his neck, he just smirks and says, “Well, someone is needy tonight...well, you have been such a good little thing for me, I will grant your wish, pretty. First, you have to get up so I can get out of these damp clothes”.

Feeling bold, you raise up just enough to pull down his pants along with his boxers and then straddle him again while he sits up and removes his shirt while kissing and playing with your perfect tits.

After you give him your adorable yet seductive pleading eyes, he stops wasting time. He flips you onto your back again and, with utmost sincerity and care in his eyes, says, “You ready? Stop me if it hurts, okay? I really do care about you.”

Tears welling in your eyes, you nod and subtly pull his hips closer to you. You have liked him for a long time, and despite all of the nasty lust that has occurred tonight, it was weirdly healing at the same time.

He slowly slides the tip in, and after a few seconds, you surprisingly quickly can let him quicken his thrusts and go even deeper, both uttering sensual guttural noises in unison as soon as he bottoms out.

You notice him blush and quirk your eyebrow this time asking what is going on. He looks to the side then admits,” Well, this feels amazing, like even better than I’ve imagined, and I know that sounds cliché, but trust me...that’s a big deal. And well, I don’t think I’ll last much longer, sadly; I want to, but...yeah, sorry..”

Latching your ankles around his hips, you just bite your lips and eyefuck him as a green light, to which he gives you a deep, caring kiss as he slowly hits that sweet spot inside you, resulting in a simultaneous orgasm with the both of you collapsing in sweet bliss.

He cannot stay around too long, or the guard headquarters will get suspicious, but he lingers as long as he can while he tries to rinse out your delicious scent from his clothing.

You have the best sleep that night and are oddly comforted by someone caring that much. You are at peace knowing there are mutual feelings and hoping y'all can date normally once you are released.

Until you are released (about a week later), Sunoo frequently visits your cell of solitude because he is the only guard who can "handle" you. Over time, you become closer and decide that you will finally pursue a healthy relationship once you are free, and he will not have to stalk you anymore.

[ragnarssons]

i legit gotta understand, how the s3's yennefer storyline is like "oh noooo aretuza is destroyed :(((((( ooooh but the girls are gonna miss it so much :(((((( and tissaia is saaaad :(((( and they will come together to build it back up!!! yayyy!!!" and i'm like-

i'm sorry, am i supposed to see aretuza as anything but another spoke on the patriarchy wheel that has been ruling over and ruining these lands for way too long? like, it's ruled by men "the brotherhood", where tissaia, the only woman member has had to fight for hundreds of years to get there (and it's up to discussion but all i saw was her being used as a pawn and being belittled by dirtass men). tissaia who herself, became like the oppressors of young girls she "taught" while simultaneously abusing them, or murdering them, (yes because i consider turning some of them into eels so that they power the power house, as murder) not caring if they disappear??! from right under her nose (and that's on s3 so i'm really supposed to see any evolution in her?) all in the name of ancient men-decided rules. aretuza that allowed men like stregobor to thrive and do whatever the f*ck they wanted with women, including young girls whom he murdered, tortured and experimented on. they knew, they knew all along! even tissaia knew! the place was built out of the oppression and murder of elves, treated as slaves and then disposed of, for their carcasses to use as foundations for the place. hello?! and best of all these scenarios, these young girls turned into "witches" would then be literally given to rich kings, depending on their prettiness, to sell either s*xual favors in exchange of a modicum of respect and -very fading- power (yennefer, philippa, sabrina, etc), or be treated like shit and used and abused once more (cough cough, fringilla). and tissaia presented yknow, neutering these girls in exchange of their power "an evolution" from pregnant women being "banished" from aretuza back in the past, like wow, evolution sure is something. like sure i do understand yennefer and tissaia mending their relationship through time and as yennefer grows and tissaia evolves (even thoooo... well i'd have STUFF to say about that). but yennefer with the brotherhood and aretuza? i really don't understand the dedication. on s2 the brotherhood wanted to kill her, even after what she did in sodden, that saved everyone. on s2 stregobor tortured yennefer and was never punished for it. on s2 yennefer fled aretuza and the brotherhood and they treated her like shit. don't understand how she'd even think ciri would be safe there, and i don't understand why she's willing to sacrifice her life as a mother with geralt and ciri, for this shithole. like yeah, somehow the brotherhood persuaded everyone that they were "the keepers of the peace between the kingdoms" but duh, that's obviously a lie. the brotherhood and aretuza alike got played like a fiddle by vilgefortz and only three of these women even saw it, and were treated like shit by their peers (some of them at least) for trying to change things. out of this whole place, triss seems like the only one with a freaking beating heart in her still. SO. AGAIN. WHY TF AM I SUPPOSED TO CARE? i legit cheered when fringilla murdered her shitass uncle. i cheered when stregobor died, and i was on philippa's side. and yennefer i'm sorry honey, but i do not care about how sad you are about this fucking wretched place being destroyed. it should be.

[blackjack-15]

richie do not gloat

syd don't freak

carmy yes thinking is good thinking is very good oh gosh this is a mess please think

THERE WE GO

watching carmy take control of the chaos? yeah this is why he's in charge, this is how he survived in NYC, this is what they need right now

EXCELLENT USE OF LOUIE all hands on deck, including pubescent ones

marcus...oh marcus i knew this was gonna be a problem boy you cannot fiddle rome is on effing fire

update: have retrieved pillow to hug in this scene i need the stress relief

syd just go go while it's still chill

"GET THE F//K OFF" yup. not chill anymore. hello anxiety pillow my old friend

NO THE CAKE NOOOO

"you didn't say corner" the worst part is that richie is technically right, he said corner, syd didn't but oohhhhhh this could not be a worse time

KIDS WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR A CORNER ARGUMENT PLEASE

a+ for tina coming to check on her. c- for syd for snapping; syd baby maybe step outside for a few seconds or put on headphones or do some chants in your head b/c this is boiling to a point i Do Not like as a viewer it means More Trouble is coming

"i don't know what anyone is supposed to learn from this shithole of a place" honeyyyyyyy. this has shades of natalie from the last episode blaming The Beef for family disfunction, and i know it's gonna be Thematically Relevant but i'm Way too anxious right now to parse

tina handled that with grace that's growth baby i cannot IMAGINE how bad this would be if tina was still pulling crap with syd

[old-memoria]

The privilege of being born in a normal fucking country...

[mirinda03]

Okay this is sooooo old and smth I thought about back in like, the time before the Tommy revival but. I listened to ‘Here Comes a Thought’ and I got a head canon/ idea

Imagine in an au where everything is the same but the sbi family dynamic is canon. And Phil teaches his kids wilbur techno and Tommy how to deal with their voices (Aka chat). Kinda like the general vibe of here comes a thought

‘Here comes a thought

That might alarm you

What someone said

And how it harmed you

Something you did

That failed to be charming

Things that you said are

Suddenly swarming

And, oh, you're losing sight, you're losing touch

All these little things seem to matter so much

That they confuse you

That I might lose you’

And he teaches them how to separate the voices from their own thoughts and sort them.

‘And, oh, you're losing sight, you're losing touch

All these little things seem to matter so much

That they confuse you

That I might lose you

Take a moment, remind yourself to

Take a moment and find yourself

Take a moment to ask yourself if

This is how we fall apart

But it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay

You've got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear

I'm here, I'm here, I'm here’

And then there’s a time skip and we have the Connie part.

Imagine Tommy in exile. Imagine when he stared at lava. Imagine when he looked down from his dirt pillar

And his mind was blasting with ‘NOOOO’s and ‘TOMMYY’ but also

‘Do a flip’

‘Here comes a thought

That might alarm me

What someone said

And how it harmed me

Something I did

That failed to be charming

Things that I said are

Suddenly swarming’

Chat reminding him of everything he has done. All the gift from the wars, from the fighting, about Tubbo.

But then the words come back to him, spoken long ago before wars and fighting and death. And he thinks of Dream and how he.. he came to watch him. And he doesn’t listen to the voices.

He listens to himself.

And he gets down.

Then the next part of the song

‘Take a moment, remind yourself to

Take a moment and find yourself

Take a moment and ask yourself if

This is how we fall apart’

Imagine Tommy looking around at logstedshire as the voices zone back in. Is this how he falls apart? Is he where he wants to be? This shithole?

No. So he runs.

And the next part of the song with the repeated ‘I’m here’ and ‘I’m okay’ could be really cool for transitions and like passing of time thoughts

And Bonus: imagine the last part of the song is when Tommy is led to the egg and touches it but he’s not influence because all that ‘keeping control of chat’ training helped him with that so he sorta just.. does not listen to the egg

Yes I came up with a whole ass animatic in my head deal with it /j

[talkingismylifewrites]

oh noooo that was not a coup. No plan, no demands, no seizure of power, no organization, no governance structure - this was just a tantrum over election results. If you want want to see a real coup, I suggest you check out the countries where your country goes bc guess what it’s the world’s largest (and to great extent sole) orchestrator of coups

Hi Anon, you don’t know me, and I don’t know you. You might think that you know me because I have spent almost three years posting my fanfic and little updates of my life on this website, but you have no idea who I am as a person or what I believe in. So I don’t know why you think you have the right to come into my inbox and send me such an awful message. 

I am fully aware of the damage that the United States and the CIA have done in other countries. Believe it or not, I do follow along with the news and I have been fortunate enough to attend university wherein I actually studied coup d’etats and the effects of the US military. I know that in the grand scheme of things, the United States has done far more harm than good in this world. 

But I also know that what happened yesterday was more than just “a tantrum over election results”. If you understood anything about the United States government and how our presidential elections work (forgive me, I’m going off the assumption that you are not an American simply bc you referred to it as “your country”. I’m making an assumption, but you know what they say about assumptions, don’t you, Anon?) you would understand that what happened yesterday was an act of terrorism and an unprecedented attack on our democracy. 

The United States has had a peaceful transference of power between every president since 1801 when John Adams conceded to Thomas Jefferson. Every other president has followed suit in admitting defeat and allowing the next president to be sworn in. It is the bedrock on which MY country’s foundation sits. While our history might not be as long as say the UK or France or China, it is still vital to the process that the transference of power is peaceful. That did not happen yesterday. 

When Trump called for his terrorists to storm the Capitol and attempt to overthrow the vote to solidify Joe Biden’s electoral college win, it was an attempt to overthrow the government. 

“No plan, no demands, no seizure of power, no organization, no governance structure”-- Anon, were we reading the same news? There were plans! In fact, there is evidence that the government had been informed that an attack on the Capitol had been in the works since November. Where do you think all those people came from Anon?? Do you think they came from Washington DC? Do you think they just decided ‘hey I feel like storming the Capitol today’?? Do you even understand how large the US is and how far people had to travel in order to do that???

Trump told his supporters that they needed to “stop the steal” and that the election had been rigged, even though time and time again it was proven that this was the safest election on record. He wanted his supporters to take the electoral votes and destroy them in order to change the election results. Is that not a seizure of power? Do you understand what the Capitol building even is?? It is the very image of our democracy! An attack on the Capitol is an attack on the American people and our government itself. 

Again, Anon, you do not fucking know me. You have no fucking idea how badly this terrorist attack and failed coup has hurt me. You do not understand that I feel like the entire life that I have known has changed. You do not understand the grief and devastation and shame I feel when I watch the news or read about what happened. But I am so fucking glad that you feel like you had to remind me that the US and the CIA have done so much worse in other countries, and I should feel bad for them and not for my own. You’re right, Anon, all fucking coups matter. 

Do not ever for once assume that I do not understand what is going on in my own country or in my own history. And, before you fucking come into my inbox again and try to make me feel like shit for something I did not do and have no power again, remember that I am a twenty-six year old woman writing fanfic in my spare time and not, you know, the head of the fucking CIA. 

So thank you, Anon, for reminding me that US is a shithole. Because that’s what I needed to hear today. 

[trensu]

Episode 27: The One where I Want to Punch Basically Every Sect Leader in the Face. Repeatedly. With a Chair.

And we start off back in the rain, AKA OUR ENDLESS TEARS

Wwx is like, do you remember our promise?

And lwj flashbacks TO THEIR LANTERN SCENE FROM THE ONE WHERE LWJ FINALLY SEES THE LIGHT

WE GET TO SEE LWJ’S PRECIOUS BABY FACE AS HE FALLS HEAD OVER HEELS IN THAT FLASHBACK

IT HURTS SO GOOD

Wwx: i wished to stand with justice and live without regrets. But tell me now, who’s strong, who’s weaker? Who’s right and who’s wrong?

Lwj: wei ying! 

Oh god, his voice! HE’S DISTRESSED

Wwx: is this the promise we pledged our lives to keep?

THEY BOTH LOOK SO HEARTBROKEN RN

Oh, look, lwj is doing the deathgrip of gay yearning on bichen again. We haven’t seen that in awhile AND I WISH WE WEREN’T SEEING IT NOW

Okay, but for real, how can lwj look so hurt here when the actor is literally doing nothing with his face??

I know i’ve mentioned that before, BUT C’MON, HOW?? HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK??

Wwx: my only regret is that i didn’t stop the jin clan who took living people as bait

I REGRET YOU NOT TAKING DOWN THE JIN CLAN TOO

WE COULD’VE AVOIDED SO MANY PROBLEMS IF WE’D JUST KILL OFF 90% OF THAT CLAN, OMG

And now wwx is all, i missed my chance to protect wen ning before so now i MUST leave to save him

BC WWX IS THE BEST MOST HONORABLE PERSON IN THE WORLD

Oh no

Oh noooo

He’s pulling out his demon flute. We’re gonna get THAT SCENE

Wwx: lan zhan, if i finally have to fight them, i’d prefer to fight with you

Wwx: if i am doomed to die, at least i can be killed by you. That would be worth it.

HE SAYS THAT BC HE TRUSTS VIRTUOUS LWJ TO STOP HIM IF HE REALLY IS IN THE WRONG

AND I AM SCREAMING IN PAIN RN

BC LOOK AT LWJ’S FACE

HE’S LISTENING TO HIS SOULMATE TELL HIM THAT HE WANTS HIS DEATH TO BE AT HIS HAND

Oh god, he’s doing the bichen deathgrip again

He tears his gaze away from wwx and turns to the side TO LET THEM ALL GO PAST

EYES LOWERED AS HIS HEART BREAKS INTO A MILLION PIECES

HE’S CRYING OH GOD HE’S CRYING

THERE ARE TEARS GOING DOWN HIS FACE, OH GOD WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

HE DIDN’T EVEN CRY WHEN HIS HOME GOT BURNED AND HIS FAMILY WAS MISSING AND/OR DYING

And now he drops his umbrella to the ground AS HE TRIES TO DROWN HIMSELF IN THE RAIN

*HYSTERICAL SOBBING*

THEY PACKED ALL THAT HEARTBREAK INTO THE FIRST 6MIN OF THE EPISODE, WTF, SOMEBODY STAB ME

And after all that emotional torture we get Plot Stuff happening

Blah blah wwx at the burial mounds blah blah sect leader banquet blah blah

Ugh, gross, they’re letting the idiot sect leaders talk again

They’re all blah blah wwx is evil blah blah he murders ppl blah blah we hate him blah blah

SHUT UP YOU BUNCH OF WALKING HUMAN-RIGHTS-VIOLATIONS

This whole part here is so difficult to watch. They’re literally just trash-talking my PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY

Jc, lwj, and lxc look visibly uncomfortable with what’s going down and they kind of sort of tried to defend wwx but they didn’t present a united front or hold their ground

Instead they let yao and ouyang run their stupid mouths

Anyway

Here’s little itty bitty bits of almost wangxiantics in the middle of this mess

Jgs: yeah, jc, i know wwx is your trusted bro and all but idk if wwx actually respects your authority. Do something about it, maybe

Lwj: *subtly glares at jgs*

And then everyone joins in on dragging wwx’s name through the mud bc apparently that’s the hot new thing in the cultivator world

If you look closely while this is happening, you can see that lwj legit GRINDS HIS TEETH with how much he’s holding back. MY POOR BB HAVING TO SIT THERE AND LISTEN TO EVERYONE DISPARAGE HIS SOULMATE

Jgs: wwx totally doesn’t respect you, jc, my bro. Everyone here heard him say how much he thinks you suck or whatever

Lwj: No I didn’t.

OOOOH, LWJ IS ANGRY AS HELL

HE’S OUTRIGHT GLARING AT JGS 

Jgs: what??

Lwj: i never heard wei ying say that, nor did i see him disrespect clan leader jiang

HANGUANG-JUN I LOVE YOU, LOOK AT YOU DEFENDING THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, I’M SO PROUD OF YOU 

And ugh, disgusting, jgy steps in to be all “oh, well, wwx said so many awful things that day, who can possibly remember the specifics?”

Lwj visibly swallows here, as if he’s choking back a response, and his lips are all pursed. 

HE’S FURIOUS. HE’S ROILING WITH IMPOTENT ANGER, WHICH IS THE WORST KIND OF ANGER, TBH

That’s all the wangxiantics we get from that terrible awful sect leader banquet

THOSE SECT LEADERS NEED TO GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE

LIKE, A LOT

WITH A CHAIR

OR A TABLE

YOU KNOW WHAT, LET ME JUST TAKE BICHEN AND BEAT THEM ALL WITH IT

OR BETTER, YET, I’LL USE BAXIA. I WON’T EVEN CUT THEM UP. I’LL JUST BEAT THEM WITH THE BROAD PART

*ANGRY YELLING*

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute! 

This isn’t a wangxiantic

But it is an EPIC MOMENT that should be commemorated.

Because here we get…

*drum roll*

MIANMIAN BEING A BOSS

Jz: blah blah wwx kills our people indiscriminately blah blah

Mm: not indiscriminately

Mm: indiscriminate is not accurate

And everyone around her is like, confused and offended because they’re assholes

Mm: in this specific case, if the overseers did abuse the Wen prisoners and kill wen ning, then what wwx did was not “killing indiscriminately”

Ouyang: nah, the overseers said they never abused/killed anyone

Mm: OF COURSE THEY’D FUCKING SAY THAT. THEY DON’T WANT TO FACE PUNISHMENT, YOU IDIOT

(okay, she didn’t call him an idiot outright or swear, but it was totally there in her tone of voice and also ouyang is an idiot so there)

Mm: you all think you’re so smart and voice your opinions so loudly

Mm: I SECEDE FROM THIS BULLSHIT. FUCK THE JIN CLAN AND YOUR STUPID CLAN POLITICS

And she throws down her jin robes and mARCHES RIGHT OUT OF THAT SHITHOLE WITH HER HEAD HELD HIGH

MIANMIAN PLEASE MARRY ME

Lwj watches her do that and two seconds later follows her out bC HE RECOGNIZES BADASSERY WHEN HE SEES IT (and also she defended the love of his life)

And that badass moment ends

But the banquet of idiots keeps going

The jin clan needs to learn how to shut the fuck up

God, they just go on and on and on

Why are they torturing me like this

OH WAIT, WE’RE OUTSIDE THE BANQUET HALL NOW

We see lwj and mm standing together on a terrace, talking to each other

BUT WE DON’T GET TO HEAR WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER AND THAT HAUNTS ME TO THIS DAY

WHAT DID THEY SAY

TELL MEEEEEEE

Oh, side note to let you all know this direct quote from nmj - “that girl really has a backbone.”

Okay nmj, i’m slightly less angry at you now. I won’t try to beat you with bichen or a table or a chair.

(but now i kinda wish mm would join the nie clan. I think she’d do well there and also i want to see her carry a gigantic saber)

We get some chitchat with the Official Bros™ but idc let’s move on 

(tho i do appreciate the look nmj gives jgy, like, HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME lolol)

Ooooh, now we’re getting lan fam time

ANGRY lan fam time, uh oh.

Lqr: lwj, have you regretted it? I didn’t punish you when you broke into the Forbidden Chamber bc i thought you’d self-reflect 

Lqr: you shouldn’t have gone to qiongqi way and let wwx go. Should you make one mistake after another?

And lwj is kneeling in front of him this whole time with a blank face

Lqr: what’s the use of getting you to memorize the Great Big Book of Lan Fam Rules?? Tell me, what is rule 52?

Lwj: No association with evil

He answers immediately and without any inflection to his voice.

Lqr: did you forget what happened to your father???

AND WE FINALLY GET A REACTION HERE

Lwj practically gasps and lifts his gaze to meet his uncle head-on

Lwj: my mother, she…!

Lqr: hold your tongue!

And just like that, lwj shuts down again; expression flat and gaze lowered

GOD, THIS CLAN HAS HURT HIM SO MUCH THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE

I MEAN, THEY MUST’VE, FOR HIM TO BE ABLE TO JUST DISCONNECT LIKE THAT

THAT IS NOT THE BEHAVIOR OF A NORMAL WELL-ADJUSTED PERSON

Basically the entire lan clan needs to go to therapy, like, STAT

Oh, i just noticed, lwj has his fists clenched at his sides. He’s clenching them hard, too. I think they’re trembling a bit, actually…

Lqr: i’ve been taking care of you since you were a kid; you’re like my son.i was strict bc i wanted you to stick to the right path and avoid your father’s tragedy

Lqr: that’s what i wanted to say to you. I hope you choose the right path. You may leave.

Lwj still bows respectfully before taking his leave

And i’m sure y’all are wondering, hey trensu, why did you make us endure that angry lan fam time that hurt us deep in our soul?? That wasn’t wangxiantic at all!

That’s where you're wrong, my friends!

It’s actually SUPER wangxiantic bc lqr kept drawing parallels to lwj’s dad the practically whole time

You know, the dad that married their mother who murdered some guy and had the whole world turn against her. 

(Sound familiar?)

The same mother that dad loved with his entire being and did what he could to keep her safe from the ramifications of her actions? By marrying her? And hiding her in the cloud recesses?

YEAH, HE’S EQUATING WANGXIAN WITH LWJ’S PARENTS’ TRAGIC ROMANCE

Bc, you know, that’s a totally hetero comparison to make lol

Oh, now we get to see our favorite Disaster Het be less of a disaster

We’re not going into detail here bc we’re not here for hetero shenanigans, yuck (actually, i’m apparently weak to Pining Idiots of all kinds bc this whole jzx/jyl scene is giving me tender feelings)

BUT

I do want to add that OMG FOR REAL LWJ AND JZX HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR LOVE LIVES, IT’S FANTASTIC

I NEED 10 MILLION FICS OF THEM COMMISERATING OVER THEIR SHARED DISASTER-NESS

Also, how the HELL did jzx end up being the one who was able to express his intentions clearly? He was all “please don’t go to the burial mounds, stay here with me so i can protect you from all who would want to hurt you”

DAMN IT LWJ, IF YOU’D JUST SAY THAT TO WWX, HE’S UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON. 

YOU CAN’T JUST BE ALL “COME TO GUSU” WITH NO EXPLANATION

Jzx accomplished this before you did, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.

Huh, okay, i guess i did go into a bit of detail with that hetero nonsense. Oh well.

Now we’re at the burial mounds again with wwx

AND WE SEE A-YUAN PROPERLY FOR THE FIRST TIMEEEEE!!

ANY A-YUAN MOMENT IS BY DEFAULT A WANGXIANTIC, GUYS, TRUST ME.

AAHHHH, WE SEE A-YUAN DO THAT LEG-GRABBY THING HE DOES!!!

HE’S SO CUTE. TOO ADORABLE.

I LOVE YOU A-YUAN

Lol, wwx is all if you don’t let go i’ll plant you like a turnip

And a-yuan plops himself down in the dirt like YOUR THREATS DON’T WORK ON ME, OLD MAN, I LIKE BEING IN THE DIRT

Then he asks wwx for 3 elder brothers and 2 elder sisters, awwww. He thinks wwx can grow them in the garden (like cabbage patch kids!!!)

Plot stuff happens

Blah blah wwx and wq share moment blah blah jc shows up blah blah

Lol

Jc sees that glowing talisman door thing and is like THAT SIGN WON’T STOP ME BC I CAN’T READ

And then whips it down with zidian

Now we get some feelings-laden Yunmeng bros time

A-yuan shows up and leg-grabs jc and it’s ADORABLE

But jc yells at him bc he’s a JERK

Wwx scolds jc and then is a Dad to a-yuan: don’t put your hand in your mouth, you were just touching dirt!

Awww, we get to see jc fight back a smile at this! HE WANTS TO BE AN UNCLE, I JUST KNOW IT.

Plot plot plot stuff happens

More plot stuff happens

And the episode ends with us still in the burial mounds with the yunmeng bros

And you know what, i’m just gonna focus on our BAMF mianmian moment bc quite frankly the rest of the episode either had me in tears of anguish or spitting mad. There was no inbetween. 

I’m gonna end up having blood pressure problems at this rate.

I’m too poor young to have blood pressure problems.

The Jin clan better pay for any medical bills I get because of them, I'm just saying

Return to Masterpost

[chaoticdisorder]

so my mom keeps buying too much food even though we eat fast food almost daily and i was looking for hummus but turns out she threw it away because it was expired and noone thought oh someone should tell that fucking idiot to eat her fucking hummus before it ends up in the garbage but noooo so now i have no hummus because these last few days all i could eat was some shitty fast food and meat that makes me want to forget the concept of eating even exists so of course I wasn't gonna look in the fridge for more food because i already felt guilty af for eating and when i finally get a day when people don't shove meat and garbage down my throat i can't find what im looking for because someone is fucking addicted to buying food and she doesn't even realize this is a fucking problem so most of our food goes in the fucking garbage i get to eat fucking garbage i feel like fucking garbage and now i wanna starve all day because i didn't get my fucking hummus i can't wait till i move out of this shithole

[basket-of-fruits]

aaaand we’re back! season 1 episode 5 sub rewatch 3,2,1, let’s jam!

oh noooo they are all so sad tohru is going back to her grandfathers house, yuki is shocked, kyo can’t stand to make eye contact, and shigure hides it but definitely doesn’t like the idea

i love the transition of seeing what appears to be kyoko in the sohma house but then it switches to a memory of tohru in their old apartment, and it symbolizes that the sohma house is her home now

kyoko’s advice, espeicially for someone like tohru, is so good. it is ok to be selfish sometimes and take care of you or do what you want to do. its not ok to always make yourself uncomfortable to make other people happy.

ugh tohru trying to convince herself that living with her grandpa will be a lovely as it has been living with the sohmas

kyo is so fucking sad omg lol, he literally just like falls over on the porch. yuki is trying to pretend he’s ok by being like ‘oh this has always been the arrangement’ like telling himself he should have expected it

ugh tohru makes me so sad sometimes, honey you aren’t stupid for wanting to be accepted and loved

she’s only been there a short time but she’s already made such an impact on the boys emotionally 

LOL not to talk about shithole america (im gonna talk about shithole america lol) but its funny that even in this japanese anime this shitty guy wants to be a cop like OF COURSE lol why do all shitty guys want to become cops?! not the job for you sweetie (i know the reason why lol)

thank god her grandfather slaps that mf

TOHRU ugh, she’s so sweet and grateful saying she doesn’t deserve anything more because she has everything she needs, but its ok to ask for what you really want too

yuki and kyo arguing when they want the same thing, work together boys and go get your girl back!

shigure loves watching them squirm lol

KYO SCREAMING FOR THE HONDAS TO HEAR THEM AND YUKI COVERING HIS MOUTH IS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE SCENES LMAO these boys are so ridiculous

also this sends my yukikyo nerves on fire lol, they are such that blue/red combo everyone loves (or blue/orange in this case) (that i also love lol)

i love when yuki gets violent lol like he’s such a sweet boy but he will also kick your ass. also its hilarious that tohru’s cousin calls him a babe and doesn’t know that he’s a boy lol

omg tohru’s says ‘why did you come to that house’ not my house cause that’s not her home wahhh

aw and the riceball finally gets chosen. HER BOYS LOVE HER AND SHE LOVES THEM

shigure hates when kyo and yuki fight but is 80% of the reason they fight lol always startin shit

i love their sweet little dysfunctional family <3

alright that’s it for that one! it’s very long sorry, i like this episode a lot :)

[tydy-the-megnet]

Let's Watch Captain Marvel

Alrighty. It's definitely late, but I finally got the DVD. So, I'm watching Captain Marvel.

I've decided to make this post about it, which I will write as I go, because I've seen a lot of discussion about the movie without actually hearing about what happens in it... so uh... yeah. Here are my thoughts as I think them:

Brie Larson looks good with long hair. Also, is Carol bleeding blue...? I want to know what that's about and if it's important

Movie is said to take place in the 90s. Space still already has flying cars. I guess Star Wars wasn't not accurate

Listen Sensei dude, if there is one thing I've learned from anime, emotions only make you stronger.

"You gave me these" *shakes fists* is that literal? Like did Mr Sensei really give her fists or is that referring to her powers...? I know nothing of Captain Marvel

He's talking about controlling impulses again. He clearly hasn't seen any anime

The Skrull are the shapeshifters yeah?

... amnesia...?

Now the supreme intelligence (god ai???) Is also talking about controlling her emotions. I still don't buy it.

Mission time. Digging the banter

"I laugh on the inside. I'm not doing that now."

Hm, not sure how I feel about the helmet thing

Hard light scuba gear? That's cool

I'm digging the kinda star wars vibe

Captain listen to your CO but also dont listen to him at all

Yeah the skrull are the shapeshifters everything makes sense now

Wait is her name Veers? Or is that what she's called just because she doesn't remember who she is?

AIR FORCE YEAH

GO KARTS YEAH

GO KART NO

More of this "too emotional" stuff?

Goose!

Digging the whole mental probe thing.

*Tries percussive maintain on a person*

"I dont know any Dr Larson"

So that had me confused bc I was like "Wasnt her name Danvers?" But Larson is the actress and I guess that's just a character????

Do I have the two backwards?

Skrull: *snarls*

Captain: *snarls back*

I like her

She fights like an anime character while everyone else is an 80s sci-fi movie

Get the boots!!!

And touchdown! Planet C-53! Locally known as Earth!

I guess Captain Marvel could be called a blockbuster hit in-universe and out huh?

I'm hilarious

Honey in basically in the space-boonies now you got no service here lol

This poor confused security guard lol

She called across the galaxy on a pay phone...? Yeah okay cool cool

"[C-53]'s a real shithole" yeah give it 30 years or so it gets worse

Okay why do people not like Captain Marvel?

She's like a mix of Tony, Thor, and Steve

Is that... Coulson? Young Coulson!?

YOUNG FURY!

I don't think that was young Coulson after all...

Or is it?

Idek

TRAIN FIGHT

Why are these bystanders trying to stop Veers(?) from fighting this obviously not normal old lady?

What kinda old lady can flip like that?

TRAIN FIGHT 2, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

oh it was Young Coulson!

Poor Coulson

Damn, Nick

*uses AltaVista*

So it's later 90s. Got it.

Lmao dial-up

I guess they're in california?

Lmao dial-up

Ah so this is the motorcycle scene I've heard about. Apparently they cut the part where she nearly breaks the guy's fingers? Disappointing.

The skrull aren't carbon-based life forms that's so cool!

Not on the periodic table...? Let's see, in the 90s... I guess stuff like rutherfordium and onward wouldn't be on there. Uh, maybe technetium? There might be a couple others but for the most part chemistry was advanced enough.

Unless it's something beyond like 118. Which is weird to think about but whatever I should stop thinking about it

Except elements like that would have to be in group 14 yeah?

Biology isnt exactly my forte but

Okay perhaps it's what we now know as flerovium?

The elements in the carbon group should react similarly enough to be the foundation of an entire life form

That's why silicon is used for synthetic stuff a lot right?

And tin

I'm getting off track the movie has been paused for a few minutes now

I'm just going to assume they are flerovium-based life forms

Oh shit they're in SHIELD

So Pegasus is a flight team, or an AF division, or....?

"I don't know if this guy is really human. I'd better ask a bunch of questions to which I don't know the answer."

A skrull could be saying random words and it would totally work

"If toast is cut diagonally I can't easy it."

Why the heck not??????

"That was a photon blast" is that what that is? Awesome

I want Peter to meet her. I think he'd have a new contender for favorite

"A skrull can't do that. " how is he supposed to know that?

Young and slightly less suspicious Fury??

"Noble warrior heroes"

J O S E P H

NASA and USAF. Sweet.

"State-of-the-art two-way pager"

Ah the old tape-and-fingerprint trick. Haven't seen that since the 90s--oh

GOOSE

Fury meeting Goose is the purest scene in marvel

"you sat there and watched me play with tape?" Lmao

"Shes kookoo" "Kree glyphs" ":O"

Veers was the pilot

I still don't know her sensei's name

"Excellent work, Nicholas" ":O"

LARSON WAS MAR-VELL!??!!!?!

(I know who Mar-Vell is!)

Okay okay okay

More of this "dont emotion" garbage. Listen Veers, DON'T listen

FURY FIGHT SCENE

COULSON NO

COULSON YES

"You know how to fly this thing?" "Uh" "it's a yes or no question"

GOOSE

They're going to LA

(Louisiana not Los Angeles)

Cool

Why do people not like this this is great!

She's got the worst part of Thor, but the best part of Tony and Steve!

RONIN!?!??!??!?!!?!??!?!?!??!??!:0!?!?!

AUNTIE CAROL?!?!?

(So it IS Carol Danvers. Which means Larson isn't her mother. Which makes since because she's actually Mar-Vell. Who's... well, not the mother.)

The Good Lady Ms. Captain Carol Marvel "I-Can-Boil-Tea-With-My-Bare-Hands-Which-Shoot-Lasers-Too" Danvers Ma'am

"You're jacket. Mom doesn't let me wear it anymore after I spilled ketchup on it."

I dont know this kid's name but I really really like her.

"Call me young lady again and I'll put my foot in a place it's not supposed to be."

... that one is more clever with context but whatever

"Am I supposed to guess where that is?" "Your ass"

Monika. That's the kid's name. She's great.

Ah, more ancient relics they call "tech" lol

FLY TIME

Do a barrel roll

She did a barrel roll!

"Your blood is uhhh blue" "yeah but how's my hair"

Ah, "Vers" bc they assumed that was her name. Interesting.

Also I want to get super power by blowing something up that's way cooler than being bitten by a stupid spider

Is she human? Is she not? I've no clue

The skrull are the good guys. Things are starting to make sense again.

... maybe I should've pushed to watch this before far from home.

... huh.

... is she human?

Okay so I'm still a little confused but I think I got it.

Though I won't say I dont want something else to blow up

"Those aren't coordinates they're orbital vectors." "It's basic physics." "Couldnt you figure that out? You're my science guy."

"I just think you should consider what kind of example you're setting for your daughter." That's it. That's the best line in the whole movie. Time to go.

Her suit can change colors on a whim!?!

That's awesome

I DIG THE NEW LOOK

I mean I saw it in Endgame but

"How do I look?" "Fresh" lmao 90s

RONIN NO

GOOSE YES

"What's a cat?" xD

"Why would I turn into a filing cabinet?"

Space lab. Cool.

Is that the tesseract??

THAT'S THE TESSERACT

She can pick it up!!

Does that mean she could've wielded the Infinity Gauntlet??????

Pinball lmao

968700!?!???!??!!?!!??!?!???!??!?!??!?!?!?

HOLY FLERKEN SHIP

GOOSE

YES CAROL

GET EMOTIONED

KICK HIS BUTT

GOOSE NOOOO

Those bastards

"Only human" HEY I RESENT THAT

THE FACT THAT YOUR HUMAN FILLS YOU WITH DETERMINATION

GOOD LADY MISS CAPTAIN CAROL MARVEL DANVERS MISS AWESOME MA'AM SENPAI SAMA

SHE'S A SUPER SAIYAN

PURE OF HEART AND AWAKENED BY FURY

(I'm still hilarious)

GOOSE DID THE THING

This is awesome why dont more people love it???

"Good kitty"

This very quickly went from Star Wars to Dragon Ball and I am loving it

She really is an anime character

Did she? Is that? Nerf gun?

Okay Carol isnt that much god mode there was just a nerd gun on the floor okay cool yeah sure

"Just like Havana" TALOS YOU BEAUTIFUL--

Remember how captain america jumped to the outside of a plane and fought through it? Yeah CM just did that in SPACE take that Steve

Still dont know how I feel about the helmet thing though

JUST LIKE BEGGAR'S CANYON BACK HOME

RONIN

Yeah, those are explosions

Ronin: O_O

Ronin: .... yeah bye

"I have nothing to prove to you."

HECK YEAH. GO CAROL. LASER HIS BUTT.

Fury lost his eye! GOOSE HE TRUSTED YOU

*thinks back to that moment in Winter Soldier*

"You were Solar and the SHIELD agent?" Omg Carol yes keep up

Fury SINGS?!?!

So like, are her powers just straight up energy manipulation? Because that's pretty cool. Really versatile, too

The way she started the engine makes it seem so

And then she just,,,,,, flies away. Into the night. Like stardust in the wind.

Dig the jacket, though

"The Protector Initiative"

It begins......

"Is it true? The Kree burned your eye out because you refused to give them the tesseract?" "I will neither confirm nor deny the facts of that story"

Lmao Fury

"CAPT CAROL "AVENGER" DANVERS"

"The Avenger Initiative"

It didnt actually show it but we know

Also, dig the music

Aaand now we see, 20ish years later, the snappening

"I wanna know who's on the other end of that thing"

First of all I love that they dont call it a pager because it's 2018 wtf is a pager amirite?

Second, I love how Carol is just there. Great reveal. 1007391861604016/10

"Where's Fury?" D:

Better question, where is Goose???

*one roll of credits later*

Oh! :D

Lmao the tesseract

God this movie is amazing

[tiredmoonslut]

Alright b(w)itches, listen

Okay, for god’s sake. 

I’ve thought a lot about what the best advice is for new witches, Wiccans, and pagans when they’re exploring these practices and religions, and I’m finally realizing that the NUMBER ONE thing any youngun should know when they’re educating themselves is this:

If you want accurate, legitimate information, don’t rely on Tumblr. 

I repeat. Don’t rely on Tumblr. I think the general populace knows this website is a literal shithole, but I see so many posts on witchblr along the lines of, “Oh! I had no idea [insert subject] was/belonged to/came from/meant/was used for [insert info],” and part of me dies inside because, sweetie, noooo. These b(w)itches are not trustworthy! Some know their shit and others are dumb as rocks! Research!!! A social media platform really isn’t a good way of learning about much of anything except talking shit, but just in case you weren’t aware -- it applies to witchblr too. 

There are some fantastically smart and amazing Witches, Wiccans, and other pagans ‘round these parts. But there’s also just ... not. You didn’t learn a lick if you didn’t first look somewhere else and then somewhere other than that to verify. Okay? Cool.

[thatpleasantnightmare]

The Pacific - Part Two.

• PART TWO LET'S GO • I swear I got thoses Forrest Gump vibes • Sergeant Mozzarella is here don't worry • Manny I love you and I'd die for you alright ? • " Tell her how handsome I am. " "I'll just tell her the truth " • Protect JP at all cost • Manny stop looking that good this is not a runway show this is WAR damnit • RUN BITCH RUUUUUN • I GOT THE CHERRIES • I GOT CRACKERS GUYS • " Don't steal kids that's bad " said the whiskey thief. • " Your new name is Peaches " • OH MY GOD PROTECT THAT DOG WITH YOUR LIFE • JP insulting the bombs is a mood • Noooo, don't you separate Manny & John • LUCKY STRIKES MEANS FINE TOBACCO • " We must really be fucked " • " We don't have enough men " Heart? Shattered. Hotel ? Trivago. • owwww the canon burning his arm • Sergeant Bruschetta to the rescue • What can you do against a machine gun? • Manny litteraly punching John out of the way to save him from the Japs i mean • Where's Manny? • I fucking know but I'm in denial leave me alone • " This is so sad , Alexa play Welcome to the Jungle. " • My poor baby • i'm not crying you are • EUGENE • God I love his dad • I love that he is being honest with him • Like " I know you wanna fight son, and that you don't care about being hit, but I've seen what the war has done to men and I don't want you to live like that " • I get Eugene's choice for real, it was really hard for thoses who couldn't go to war but I also get his dad. • " That would break my heart " well prepare to suffer Monsieur • Thank god they're leaving this shithole • Poor Sergeant Limoncello beating himself for Manny's death • " You know me John. I try not to think. " • Poor tired guys climbing to the ship • C O F F E E • I feel that deep in my soul • Poor cook trying to cheer them up • " You're heroes back home. " • Makes me think of BoB again. They survived hell and wouldn't see themselves as heroes. But they clearly were.

PART THREE ? Very soon 💕

[pawsitivevibe]

hey is graduating Magna Cum Laude even impressive or nah. I feel like . . . noooo. Like everyone has a degree and a lot of people got good marks shut up. 

Is it a no-no to put your education above your employment history on your resume if your employment history is GARBAGE. 

will it look better to put ‘small business owner’ above my shitty grocery store job even though my small business is lame as fuck. Or would that be super tacky and dumb. 

Yeah so I suck at resumes but I have to get my ass in gear and get out of my shithole job and get a decent paying job. But I am not special in the slightest, have nothing particularly significant to offer, and am like 99% of other applicants, so, like, I somehow need a kickass resume to make me look slightest less average. Because oh boy oh boy do I literally have nothing special going for me. University arts degree, work at a grocery store, not really particularly smart, terrible at interviews, social anxiety that I literally take prescription drugs because of . . . So you know. Yay. 

yeah so resumes are hard and I hate it. 

There is this one job with a dog walking/boarding company that pays decently that I feel like I’d maybe have a shot at because of my years working at the vet doing boarding though. Gonna email them tomorrow. But like ideally I’ll be applying to government office jobs. Because that’s what I’m supposed to want. Even though what I really want is probably something with dogs. But dog jobs don’t pay well.