#such POTENTIAL

[makorragal-312]

My prediction for Buck's storyline in "Masks:"

He tries to put up some string lights in his apartment, but ends up getting tangled in them and ends up hanging upside down, so he has to call Eddie and they spend most of the episode trying to detangle Buck from the lights...

...and they end up almost sharing a "Spider-Man" kiss.

[jimjamgem]

Mobius is all of us.

[kanerallels]

Kanera + Wild West AU

(One of the only AUs I ever made for them!)

That is honestly such an IMMACULATE vibe and I love the concept of it! Here's my take:

Dusting off his hands, Kanan surveyed the wreckage of the bar with what was probably too much satisfaction. Still, there was nothing like a good bar fight— not that he’d admit that to Sabine, since he was supposed to be encouraging her to stop causing problems like this. 

There was a click behind him, and Kanan’s blood ran cold. He knew the sound of a pistol being cocked— and he knew he didn’t have enough time to stop the man behind him. Really? After everything, this is it? He thought with a twinge of annoyance, of all things.

And then there was a crash and a cut off yelp, and Kanan found himself surprisingly not dead. He spun around to see the man with the gun on the floor, surrounded by the shattered pieces of a barstool. Standing over him was a woman with piercing green eyes and dark skin. Her hair was twisted back into braids, and she wore a simple shirt and divided skirt, nothing fancy. That did nothing to detract from her beauty, however, and the fact she was clearly the one who’d just saved his life definitely added to that.

Kanan was opening his mouth to thank her (and possibly say something charming. It had been a while since he had flirted, so he was a little rusty, but he figured he’d give it a shot) but she spoke first. “You’re Mr. Jarrus, the hired gun?”

And that voice… it was warm sunshine on a chilly day and the first chords of a piano in a church. It was the singing of the birds when you’re out on a ride and the day is beautiful and everything seems just about perfect, and Kanan was pretty sure he had just fallen in love.

Realizing that he was staring, he hastily shut his mouth and said, “Uh, yeah. That’s me.”

“Good,” the woman said briskly. “I’m Hera Syndulla, and I have a business proposition for you.”

“Well, then we’d better talk,” Kanan said, glancing around for an undestroyed table. Though if he was being really honest, he already had a feeling he’d follow this woman wherever she wanted to go.

[khr-guilded-cage]

You know that fanfic that still live in your head rent free years later?

[friendofthecrows]

People do crossovers where they make all their favorite detectives solve a crime together all the time, but why don't they ever include all their favorite detectives' arch-nemesis. Imagine the chaos.

[86maylin]

[sparkles-rule-4eva]

Here's the finished Infinite piece! Dudes I'm seriously obsessed 🤣🔥

[artemisbarnowl]

I read 20 books so far this year but 19 of them were in the first half. I started SO strong.

[thebookbin]

Cataclysm

Lydia Kang

Publisher: Del Rey, RandomHouse Genre: sci fi, fantasy, star wars Year: 2023

This book perfectly encapsulates the danger of writing prequel series. And although I will be the first to tell you that I believe collaborative storytelling is the next major frontier, Cataclysm manages to make every mistake possible to make when being a part of an endeavor like this.

This book is just... bad. There's no other way to put it. It's heartbreaking to be a Star Wars fan, particularly someone who loves the High Republic era and get this as an offering.

Where to even begin... Let's start with inconsistent characterization. Gella, the independent Wayseeker in Convergence is nowhere to be seen. In her place is a simpering idiot who makes every mistake in the book, is manipulated at every turn, and worst of all gets her partner killed. Why? Oh, because Axel Greylark is pretty, of course.

In case you're not fully up to date, in the first installment, tenuous interplanetary negotiations keep getting sabotaged at every turn, things go horribly awry, and thousands of innocent people die. The main cast discovers that it is Axel Greylark, hiding among them, who is responsible for this, and he is sent to prison.

If I ever read the phrase "she had to clear her head" or "she tried to focus" because apparently just being in the presence of a single (1) bourgeoisie mass murderer who is a bit pretty is enough to rattle Gella to her core. Seriously. This is a major plot point. Part of me genuinely wonders if Lydia Kang was chosen for this installment specifically to fend off accusations of sexism. The misogyny in the Star Wars fandom is already so prevalent, this honestly felt like a kick in the teeth. Especially because there are absolutely no other relationships that Gella holds as dear, even ones she's had for far longer--even ones that are more meaningful (I'm basing this on the fact that her attachment to Axel is based on the events of the first book, and he never said a true thing in that book, ergo her affections are based on a lie). When she gets a mentor in the form of a senior Jedi, who gently tries to prod her away from succumbing to her emotions, she goes around and immediately gets him killed. This does not affect Gella for more than 3 paragraphs. Meanwhile the only person she sheds tears for the entire novel is Axel Greylark, who, at the end of all this, must carry out his actual prison sentence. He gets tears, but Master Orin Dargha, killed by Axel Greylark, does not.

If you couldn't already catch on, this is an Axel Greylark hate account. There is absolutely nothing wrong with his character, I don't mind evil characters. It's the fact that he is narratively wasted. I was hoping for this book to be a corruption arc so desperately, but I could tell how much Kang wanted us to like him just because. Despite being a coward, despite getting people killed through inaction, and directly through his own actions, despite causing the deaths of thousands of innocents, Axel Greylark is narratively redeemed because he gets injured in battle and goes to jail at the end. Now first let's talk about the injured thing. This book was so hard to read because for some reason Axel is favored by the writer. Here is a list of things he somehow survives: getting blown up hard enough he goes unconscious, shrapnel to the chest (which he pulls out), a lightsaber slice to his shoulder that somehow didn't cut off his arm, strangulation, and drowning. This is all within hours of each other with no medical attention in between. Then when he switches back to being a "good guy" (I use the term loosely) it's because, and I am not joking, when the cultists he killed Orin for realize he's useless they make him do grunt work instead of being a Leader, and he doesn't like doing the grunt work. This man is selfish to his core. I thought for sure he would die in the battle in some bullshit Anakin-esque move that would "redeem him" because he made one right choice at the end of a decade of truly terrible choices, which I was going to roll my eyes at. But no! Not only does he survive, he gets to go to cushy white-collar criminal prison at the end of the book, and THAT is supposed to be enough. I want to throw him off a bridge.

Then came all the narrative blunders. The tension in the Eiram and E'ronoh and the not-so-subtle hints in the first book that the leaders were being manipulated into war, yes, but that manipulation was easy because of the old and set ways of their respective rulers, which is what Xiri and Phan-tu were supposed to mirror in the younger generation that solves it, but the politics of the first book are completely erased in this one. There is no resolution to this plot point, just a quick scene of a new treaty being signed in the postscript.

Another is Binnot Ullo, the orphaned street rat taken in by the Path who befriends the aristocrat Axel as a child. Where Axel literally has everything, and his entire selfish motivations stem from "my mom doesn't pay enough attention to me and I'm sad my dad's dead" while being lavished in every whim he could think of, Binnot had to earn his way his entire life. And while Binnot's story is truly a tragedy: an orphaned child with no family taken in by a Force-user hating cult. He has to suppress his Force abilities his entire life, because if he makes a slip the people around him will kill him. No, we can't be sympathetic to him, what about Axel! Binnot's death would have been so poetic if he was killed by a Force eating beast. In his last moments, he would be forced to confront his own hypocrisy and discordant world view. He would be forced to acknowledge the people he considered family--in his messed up sort of way--would throw him away in an instant. Narratively, we would understand that the "weapon" meant to kill Jedi has been unleashed, but anyone could fall victim. But we don't get any of that. Why? Because Axel needed to look cool. Axel kicks Binnot so that he... accidentally strangles himself with his poison glove? It seriously makes no sense. Binnot has a glove with retractable needles in the fingertips. He is reaching for Axel. Axel kicks his hand. Now, in my mind the needles are still facing away from Binnot's body, he was reaching out to use them against someone else. That does not explain how his own hand got around his neck after a single kick. I digress.

Now for the weird continuity things. Kang introduces another of Yoda's species, a female little green alien, who I kid you not, is named Master Yaddle. The weirdest part is: Yoda still talks like Yoda in this timeline, hundreds of years before the movies, but Yaddle talks like everybody else. I was hoping it would just be a cool linguistic quirk of the species but if Yaddle speaks normally, then Yoda's famous form of speech is... because he's just Like That. What?! Also, we know from the Mandalorian that there are more of Yoda's species, but Yaddle's presence is just baffling. There's no real point to it, besides the interesting tidbit she is also a caretaker of younglings. Honestly the whole time I was thinking of thee 1980 Empire Strikes Back puppet with a red wig on.

The whole point of Phase II was supposed to be an exploration of how and why Marchion Ro came to lead the Nihil and shed more light on their intentions in Phase III. Because Phase II takes place two hundred years before Phase I, it's like going back in time from going back in time. In Phase I we were introduced to this incredible weapon that turned Jedi into husks (Bell Zettifar, my boy, needs so much therapy). This same weapon is in Phase II HUNDREDS OF YEARS BEFORE PHASE I, and how does Kang explain why Jedi hundreds of years later fight the same enemy and have them still not know anything about it? The LAST SCENE OF THE BOOK is Yoda and Creighton Sun decide to just not talk about it until they "know more."

WHAT. You mean Loden Greatstorm died because Yoda JUST FORGOT TO MENTION the Force-eating monsters?! It's inconceivable. It's laughable. I just imagine Yoda going "Oh ya. Those guys. Bad news, they are." Because the book ends where it does, there's no investigation into these monsters, and we've already read Phase I in which they are a surprise, so we can surmise as the audience that, yeah. Yoda just forgot about the Force-eating monsters, after he and another Jedi decided to keep them a secret (despite multiple other Jedi coming face-to-face with them so literally how is it a secret between just them two?) and decide NOT TO KEEP ANY RECORD OF THE FORCE EATING MONSTERS and just NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS?!

Also, this duology really revealed absolutely nothing about the Nihil, Marchion Ro, or anything super relevant to Phase I. I am left thinking "what was the point of all this needless misogyny?!" IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING?! WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS?!

Honestly. This book is terrible. Just so bad. Poorly written, nonsensical plot, lack of continuity, and no clear purpose. At this point my recommendation is you can skip Phase II entirely.

storygraph | bookshop.org | local houston

★ don't waste your time on this mess star

[paintedcrows]

Whenever Bill sees KingOfNJ's fics through Stan's eyes he just thinks they have the same taste in fanfiction (disgusting. unthinkable) continued

[44boora]

The Resurrection of Stanley Pines 🪦🩸

[zytes]

this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

[skipppppy]

Broke: Giovanni is Ash's father

Woke: Giovanni has mistakenly believed Ash was his hookup mistake for like a decade and is about to get the surprise of the century seeing that not only are they not related, but the employee he fired a few years ago for being too stupid is now living with him and being a more active father than he was

[fosliie]

The end result of my own reckless impulsivity

[goatfellaa]

Of course I had to draw this. It was a must