#stupid sexy penguin

[pharawee]

In which Sun doesn't know if he wants to eat Junior or if he wants to *eat* Junior.

—CAGED AGAIN· Episode 01 & 02

[arrowfleur]

✩‧₊˚ Redacted HC’s ✩‧

I’ve been pretty shit at writing and posting this past year, which is crappy because I enjoy it so I wanted to do something that was less pressure than writing fics but could still make people happy. I’ve put every main redacted couple - plus a few extras - on a spin wheel and will be writing a long list of HC’s each day depending on who I get :)

Anyways, Part 1: Lasko and Dear

Dear loves thrifting but they didn’t want to take Lasko with them at first in case he found something they wanted, before they did. Now they borrow each others clothes so it wouldn’t matter anyway.

When they eventually took him he spent the entire time trying to find things they liked.

Dear has two toned hair

Lasko has never stopped thinking that dear is the coolest person to ever walk the earth, ever.

Sometimes dear wears colour contacts for fun

Both of them have a pocket watch on a chain

For their first anniversary Dear bought Lasko a locket, with a picture of the entire Damn Squad in it.

He added a photo of them to the other side

Dear has pet rats, they take such good care of them and their cage is huge

Lasko was slightly weary at first but he warmed up to them pretty well

Dear is very good at fixing things.

One of the first times they went to his apartment, his Ac broke. Dear just calmly listened to his apologetic rant about it before asking where the toolbox was.

Dear has tattoos behind their ears

Lasko is very good at saving but he’s not tight and always tries to pay for the whole table.

Very rarely has he succeeded

Dear has a collection of paper boy hats.

Lasko wears earmuffs when it’s cold because he always gets earaches

Dear has curled their hair with coke cans before

They love old black and white movies

Lasko likes really crappy b-movies

Can’t be let down if you know it’s going to be bad before it starts

Dear can keep up very well with Damien’s academic discussions and sometimes debates him just for the sake of it. Damien enjoys the challenge.

Dear is not the biggest Christmas enjoyer but this year they’re looking forward to it.

Lasko has booked a couple of Christmas markets for them

Dear HATES the idea of a cruise. Not because of the ocean but because they can’t get off the boat once it sets off.

Lasko always takes those little pots of jam and the little shampoo/conditioner bottles whenever he goes to a hotel

Neither of them can ice skate well whatsoever

Lasko has and will continue to use those little penguins meant for children. Dear finds it fucking hilarious all while they’re clinging to the side of the rink themselves

They share grandpa jumpers

When they first started dating, dear would pretend to forget their lanyard so that lasko would have to go down and let them in.

They both wear lots of rings and love playing with each others hands

Lasko used to wear those fake glasses from Claire’s

Dear is so casually flirty with Lasko that he thought it was just their personality at first

That’s why they eventually just had to go into his office and straight up ask him out

Dear kisses Lasko’s nose often, especially when they’re saying goodbye to each other or he’s severely overthinking

Dear really enjoys those mugs that change colour when you put hot water in them

Lasko has an entire cupboard dedicated to board games

Dear was delighted

Dear reads random niche comics and webtoons

And they have a lot of figurines

Lasko is an unsweetened oat milk enjoyer!!

Dear inhales food like it’s nobody’s business

It doesn’t last five minutes on their plate

They also never get indigestion

Their go-to cocktail is an old fashioned

Lasko hates it

Dear will simply repeat what Lasko says in a teasing tone to fluster him

Or they’ll just randomly start acting like the weirdest story is sexy.

‘And then he, he told me they’d have to charge me more for these stupid tires that I didn’t even ask for!’

‘ and what did you say? 😏

‘Well I- I told him,

‘ did you stick up for yourself? 😏😏

‘ well I told him I wasn’t going to pay for it’

*dear looking him up and down’

‘Good job, I don’t like it when other play dirty with you’

And they’re making out, Lasko doesn’t know how they do it they just have a way. It literally doesn’t even make sense.

Lasko’s hair grows incredibly quick. He shaves ALOT.

His skins is also so beautiful, it’s so soft and clear and glowy.

Dear has acne scars and they do little skincare nights together but Lasko thinks they’re HOT AS FUCK

Okay that’s all, also my proof that I got these guys first

[ar1mas]

- a rant

no because ive watched this stupid show 5 years ago, and i only noticed this now?? how???

ok. some context first. this is about fox' gotham, a prequel series to batman. or at least a potential one with slight changes. one of those changes is the relationship between oswald cobblepot and edward nygma (spelled with a 'y' for mayhap legal reasons? idfk its silly). whats their relationship like in the show? well...

theyre gay af. idk what to tell you.

okay so oswalds gay as fuck. edwards... ambiguous. totally ambiguous. he had a girlfriend or 2 and a half (kristen kringle, the-woman-who-shall-not-be-named (aka kristen but... blonde? this show is weird), and lee. not comfy counting lee, but technically shes one, hence the 'and a half')! very straight, much hetero (on another side note how tf is oswald the gay one, like i know he wears make-up and shit but eddies all about theatrics and showmanship and flair and hOW IS OSWALD THE GAY ONE NEXT TO HIM?? ok anyway).

so oswald was (is. be real.) canonically in love with ed, ed was.........., and 'penguin in love' is a piece of music composed by david russo for season three in which the whole "im in love with my best friend" thing took place.

that song has been used all over season three, as far as i can tell not once in season four, and once in season five.

.....or so i thought.

because yesterday, while in another obsession phase (of which i get one a few times a year. ive only ever watched the show once, in 2019, when it ended. still dream about nygmobblepot though. i dont dream about media, like ever, but with them, its different), i saw 5x8 to satiate my never satisfied craving of nygmob scenes, obviously skipping the main story bc i dont care about that straight shit. i got to the scene where oswald kills mr. scarface and frees arthur penn from said mr. scarface, after which ed shoots him in the head because thats what one does in such a situation, thought "aw how cute", again, as one does, and then realised.

what was that background music just now? rewinds.... oh. oh haha, its 'penguin in love'. how fun.

WHAT.

WHY IS THAT IN THERE. WHY DID THEY INCLUDE IT.

correction. it wouldve made sense to have it here. they used it in 5x5 for the speech about not backstabbing each other (wedding vows for murderers fr fr), so using it again after their relationship has solidified wouldve made sense.

note how im saying 'would have'.

because it would have made sense, if they used it when ed said "i accept you for the person that you are, just as you accept me for the cold logician that i am. thats why this friendship is great." they didnt, though. they used another equally heartfelt song for that. dunno what its called, it sounds a bit like 'penguin in love' but isnt, not sure if that one has a specific meaning like 'penguin in love' does.

so when was the song used? at 36:08 – 36:17. barely ten seconds, right before eds lines, right before ed kills penn.

...right when penn was sitting in oswalds lap because theyd been fighting for the gun and os fell on the ground.

now. the most obvious answer to "why in the fucking hell" would be because ooh this dudes on his lap so sexy, but no. no. 'penguin in love' is about one specific thing: love. the pure kind. the kind that makes you giddy with butterflies in your stomach, kicking your legs, while youre on your bed, writing in your diary about this guy you have a crush on. and oswald and penn do have history, oswald was more or less fond of penn, but not in love (i mean where would he have found the room in his heart if it was already filled with EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD martin my sweet boy EDWARD EDWARD EDWA-). im also definitely not thinking that penn was so happy about being free from mr. scarfaces influence and not having to kill oswald (oh yeah, the horror. who would wanna kill oswald, the guy with the big ego, who never does anything for anyone without some kind of endgoal- well, unless your name is edward of course) that he instantly fell in love with the guy. i can deal with the homicidal kind of crazy, but that? no. thats where i draw the line.

the next most obvious answer is that it was about oswalds love for ed. more believable, since its what the song was made for, but more believable doesnt mean believable. or likely. because even if i 100% believe that hes been loving this dude for so long its not something he has to think about anymore for it to be true, im pretty sure that itd be very random to suddenly focus on that when oswald was just about to die. so no, even if its what the song is intrinsically about.

so next most obvious answer is- wait. thats it. huh? theres no obvious answer anymore? everything else is brainrot? oh. oh well. its been five years, im sure its too late to worry about it now. what the hell.

im sure you know where im going with this. or maybe not. honestly idk what the fuck im talking about-

youre smart. you know what im about to say. if it wasnt about what oswald was feeling because he was otherwise preoccupied, and it wasnt about penn because that makes no fucking sense, then who was this song used for? who else was in the room?

...oh.

YOU.

YOU FUCKING IMBECILE. YOU STUPID DENSE PIECE OF-

inhale, exhale. no. don’ get mad, you know he cant help it. you know hes totally helpless when it comes to emotions. just breathe. ok.

i hate him. i hate him so much.

if the song wasnt for oswalds sake, it was for his. because i know hes in love with oswald, but does ed? does the producers??

'penguin in love' is about oswalds love. its about his love for edward. its about their love, their relationship. its about edward just as much as it is about oswald.

a-fucking-PPARANTLY, I DIDNT KNOW THAT!! I JUST THOUGHT OH YEAH OZZY BE THE GAY ONE HAHA FUNNY, I DIDNT KNOW IT COULD BE ABOUT ED DIRECTLY!!!

(why am i like this? what is my life? i will never be normal.)

ed has always been the obsessive one. first kristen (and the woman who shall not be named is just an extention of that ofc), then oswald, then lee. and as weve seen with kristen, when hes obsessed with someone, he can become possessive. absolutely not on the scale oswald is on, but still. theres a wee bit of jelly there. oh you have a boyfriend? better get rid of him! oh you wanna run away from me bc i murdered your boyfriend? better keep you right in place and- oh shit did i kill you? ono D:

this is a huge oversimplification, but you get the point. its there. or at least it has to be there because why else do you get so angy that someone is sitting in the lap of your just friend because they were fighting and they ended up in that position totally accidentally? like thats not normal behaviour, for anyone, unless you have possessive tendencies.

i mean its not like penn was a threat in any way. "he wasnt the threat, the dummy was the-" like i understand ed told penn about the submarine which was supposed to be a secret, but come on, like they couldnt make sure penn wouldnt say anything. so why would ed shoot him? its not even like penn was a random dude where that type of thing would be very inconsequential, oswald knew him. hed worked for oswald, and like i said, oswald was more or less fond of the guy. penns just a poor little meow meow, y u kil him eddie? 🥺

unless this fondness was part of the problem. unless ed saw how happy oswald was to see him, got annoyed but let it slide, then used penn attacking os and knowing about the sub as an excuse to kill him. and why would oswald being happy to see penn be a problem to ed? it wouldnt be. it wouldnt be, unless ed thinks oswald is his.

which makes sense. i know im calling him names and calling him out, but like. oswald told him he loved him like 5 times 2 years prior, i dont blame him for believing that maybe theres something to it (especially since that was the point of 3x14, oswald really being in love with him and surprising himself with it). but i thought ed didnt feel the same way? because hes very hetero? because he had a full-on girlfriend before, twice, technically? because-

"the truth is oswald, you would sacrifice anyone to save your own neck. even me."

"like i said! you will always fail, because youll never change."

hm. i know this is a bit off topic, but i just got a war-flashback and... why did ed sound so hurt when he said that? "youll never change." "you would sacrifice anyone. even me." why does he care? they were friends, best friends, yes, but why does he sound like a heartbroken wife who just found out her husband cheated on her again? why does-

"honestly you deserve this. you are opportunistic, your loyalty is.. shaking, at best, and you will hurt anyone, anyone, to get what you want."

"and yes, i was not a good friend. to you or anyone. its why im alone. but i saw you for what you are and i valued that!"

...why would edward nygma, the man who literally said "i dont love you" to oswald, be jealous of even the idea that maybe penn could have something going on with oswald? and why would he act on it if hes usually so careful to not reveal his feelings (unless its about kristen. the original obsession, the american dream, the just be normal, show them you are normal, and people will accept you)? he wouldnt.

unless oswald just told him that he knows he messed up. that hes sorry for it.

and unless that made him think that maybe theres a chance.

"love is about sacrifice. its about putting someone elses needs and happiness before your own."

"you gave up your revenge for me?"

a chance... for what?

"life begins anew."

"shall we get to work?"

and if theres a chance, hes not about to risk losing it. not this time.

so maybe 'penguin in love' is about more than just oswalds feelings. maybe they were trying to tell us that, yes, we see you traumatised gay kid, were sorry this is all we can give you, but here you go, eds in love with him too, but don’t tell the channel. subtlely. just for barely ten seconds. and maybe it can be enough.

nope, it wont be. im gonna sit here crying about the injustice of not having them kiss on screen in the finale as was originally intended for the rest of my life. seriously though, what is this, nbc's hannibal, where im noticing something new details every single time i watch the show, causing me to spiral? no, i was already spiralling. the spiralling was the reason i rewatched the scene. the scene simply made it worse.

so yeah, im done freaking out about a mediocre show that was cancelled 5 years ago and is honestly not worth anyones time (like, its ok. it might even be better than i remember since its been so long. i doubt it. but its ok).

tl;dr: ive only now realised that a specific gay song plays in a specific episode of a show i watched 5 years ago and the only reason theyd include it in the episode is if the dude that was not canonically in love with the other dude was in fact gay, they just werent allowed to make it canon, so they added the gay song to subtlely tell us about it.

have a wonderful day, hellsite. dont do what i did and go crazy about fictional gay people. i know you will though, that’s why im here too. i hate gay people. these two make me homophobic so bad, i wanna gauge my eyes out and skin myself-

[jarofstyles]

sooo what do you think level up!harry and y/n are up to rn? i miss them sosososo much, 'level up' might be my fav fic of yours!

Hmmmm 👀👀

Patreon

---

Currently, Y/N is a giggly, drunk mess. Harry was tipsy, but nowhere near as gone as Y/N. Stumbling into their apartment, Y/N gasped as she tried to look around, but it was far too dark.

"H-Harry? I think.. Think I'm losing my sight." She hiccuped. "Can't see. Should I call a Doc?" The words were slurred as she kicked her heels off, letting her purse drop to the floor.

With a chuckle, Harry adjusted his glasses and flipped the lights on, making Y/N gasp.

"Nevermind! It's back. I can see. Probably just malfun... Malfuntion." The incorrect pronouncation had him shaking his head, leaning down to pick her bag up off of the ground. Hanging it on the hook along with his jacket, he watched as she padded into the kitchen, making lots of noise as she looked for a cup.

"Malfunction, sweetheart." He corrected, greeted with a confused look on her face as she whipped around. His flannel shirt was around her shoulder, claiming she had been too 'chilly' at the bar for her bustier style top and dark wash denim to do the job. He'd handed it over, leaving him in his baby blue tee shirt. "Never mind. What do you need?"

While he was definitely a bit tipsy, Y/N was smashed. A rare sight he had only seen a few times so far, but entertaining nonetheless. She was excited and giggly and super clumsy which had stressed him out a bit, but other than that he was happy to see her let loose. The next semester would start soon and she needed the off time.

"Water. Banana. Uh..." she blinked a few times. "Oh! Chocolate chips. Please. Can I have some?" her fingers tangled in his shirt, giving him a pouty look that wasn't necessary but very appreciative. "I'll give you a blowie. Can't reach the pink cup."

"While I appreciate the offer, you aren't doing anything of the sort until tomorrow when you're sober." His large hands held her flushed cheeks, kissing the middle of her forehead tenderly. "You're so silly, baby. Sit down and I'll bring it to you."

Y/N preened, nodding as she climbed on to the stools they had at their breakfast bar- their dining table was cluttered with some of Harry's work- kicking her feet to some beat Harry was sure she was heating in her head as she waited.

His own clumsiness kicked in, accidentally knocking over one of the plastic cups they kept on the bottom. A yelp escaped him before he realized what it was, giggling to himself for the stupid scare. Righting it, he grabbed the pink cup from the top- much more carefully, he would add- and brought out the filtered water pitcher to pour her a cold glass.

Next he pulled out the large back of semi-sweet chocolate chips, pouring some into a small bowl meant for condiments, placing it back in the cabinet before finally grabbing her banana. He knew that she would need it to sober up and it would be a better scenario for her tomorrow.

"Here." he rounded the bar, sitting on the stool next to her with his own water. "Eat your snack then we're brushing teeth. Put some painkiller in my pocket to have at the bedside when you wake up." He smoothed her hair out of her face and lip gloss before she took a sip. "You're drunk."

"No. I'm Y/N. Or your Loooooveeee." She sang, wiggling her brows. "S'what you called me in front of everyone. you said, 'careful, my love.' and 'easy with the shots, my love.'. So nice. Sexy." She sighed, leaning into him slightly before popping some chocolate into her mouth. "Gonna marry you. Hope you know that. Get prepared."

"Trust me, It'll be the best day of my life." He smiled, steading her on the stool as she turned to him.

"Better than when we saw the baby penguins at the zoo?"

"Even better.

[threi]

that one ask where you ranked who is having the most sex, but i want to know what type of sex everyone is having?

who is having the craziest/horny sex, or most sensual, whos kinkiest? etc

Luffy loves raw sex, without additional things, only bodies and fluids. So. Blood creampie pisskink body fluids love orgies and any type of sex.

Law loves to use kairoseki handcuffs (and other things from seastone) toys cuz. He read a lot of fanfiction. He's kinky.

So lawlu is kinky x2

Zolu is kinky as luffys kinks

Zokiku KINKY blade blood fucking

Kidd is SHY and ashamed and scared. Kidlu kinky but gentle

Killer is kinky as fuck

Sanji loses shit it's hard to fuck him so eghhh more or less usual sex. But feeding and fat kink.

Nami totally kinky. Vivi not so.

Usopp can use toys but not so kinky. soft and gentle

Robin and franky kinky as fuck.

Ace kinky too. Yamato not kinky YET. Sooo they can try things. They both curious.

Marco softly kinky. Ace feels stupid around him and loses his shit and forgets everything.

Croco tired and old to be kinky.

Buggy is scared.

Mihawk tired too.

Shanks is boring in sex.

Beckman is GOOD in sex. Makino doesn't know so much. Beckman loves to be top and listens to mekinos asks.

Yasopp is miserable

Kaidos team kinky totally they wear bdsm clothes.

Bigmom kinky.

Kobi is kinky.

Kuzan middle kinky but horny. Loves to use his powers

Black beard IS kinky

Borsalino sexy AND cringe

Sakadzuki is tired and busy working

Penguin and shachi curiously kinky and horny

Ikakku middle kinky tired

Moria is kinky

Oden is not very kinky but he fucks a lot

Perona more or less idk

Hancock is very soft with luffy. Tops. Can't bottom. Sensual.

Reiju is KINKY she fucks

Her brothers are virgins

Monet is KINKY

Cesar is poor.

[bunkoos-mole-enthusiast]

Weekly Jungkook Fanfic Recs

Some fine JK fics for your reading pleasure. 🔞 Please show your appreciation to all the wonderful authors :)

Lone Blue Egg: Jungkook is a simple man. He goes to work, he hangs out with friends, he worries about finding a mate to take home for his hometown breeding season. Maybe he spends a little more money on cam girls than is fiscally responsible but he has niche tastes. Maybe he feels a bit adrift, but he's a young penguin hybrid, supposedly in his prime, far from his crèche. https://archiveofourown.org/works/35424625/chapters/88299640 A Sea Of Indigo: Pitbull Hybrid Jungkook has finally been freed from the fighting rings, and now finds himself at Marigold Sanctuary & Transition Estate, a place for healing and self-discovery for rescued hybrids. It's stupid, dumb, cheesy, and hell-bent on helping Jungkook "heal" and "find himself" and "decide the course of his life." And right at the center of it is Y/N, a nurse who's got everyone bamboozled that she's like some awesome person. She's not that great. Jungkook hates it here. https://archiveofourown.org/works/25881670/chapters/62890984 Sugar Fairy: Bunny Hybrid Jungkook is at that age... he needs a mate, and it's making life miserable for everyone in the family. The obvious solution is to bring home a girl. The obvious problem is that while it's love at first sight for Pippa when he walks into the adoption tent, Jungkook is far more into the sexy cat to her right. Will there ever be peace in the family again? https://archiveofourown.org/works/25882588/chapters/62893486 The Lowlander: Out of the frying pan and into the fire: Marguerite is already used to life as a barely-tolerated outcast, being the elven daughter of an Orlesian noble, but after her travel party is attacked, she goes from one hostage situation to the next. Sure, her new "man" is brave and handsome and one of the best warriors in the Hold, but he's also hard-headed, impatient, and expects her to be the perfect Avvar woman. She refuses. She will not lose herself in this place. Anyway, she only has to endure him until she can figure out how to make her escape, or face an even worse evil at the end of a month... https://archiveofourown.org/works/27747925/chapters/67919119 Meadow: Despite being arranged two decades ago, the start of Bronwen and Jungkook's marriage is a difficult one. Misunderstanding, resentment, and a struggle to control unfamiliar instincts threaten to mire them both in a miserable, unhealthy situation. Before they can even begin to reconcile their new intertwined fate, though, Bronwen begins to suspect there's something else holding them back: a lie that threatens everything she's been raised to believe. https://archiveofourown.org/works/27241096/chapters/66545848 Tell Me What Changed: Alex and Jungkook have been best friends since childhood --actual best friends. She is NOT in love with him, for real, and wishes people would stop assuming that. Why does no one question if he's in love with her? Huh? But it might have to do with his successful fuckboy status, while Alex is very much... not that. Which is fine and doesn't matter! Until Jimin's impending wedding leaves her eager for a date and willing to put herself out there, and Jungkook can't believe what happens next. https://archiveofourown.org/works/38661003/chapters/96652572 Amended: Getting into a bar fight is the least surprising part of Isabella's return home. She sure doesn't expect to run into her childhood friend turned high school enemy, now not just surprisingly a law-abiding citizen but a police officer. Things seem to be going great for him, but Isabella is struggling with more than a bar fight. A single mom with a sick grandmother, an alcoholic mother, an abusive ex, and a short fuse herself, matters are not helped that Jungkook seems to be everywhere. All the time. Especially every time Isabella messes up. Can she really believe him when he says he just wants to help? https://archiveofourown.org/works/27238486/chapters/66539191 Wintervale: Jungkook proves his allegiance to the throne of your kingdom. Fantasy au. https://fantasybangtan.tumblr.com/post/189763429007/wintervale-jjk

[micoumbra]

Croak-Croak, mr Parsnip~

MMMAAAANNNN, IM SOOO LLLOOOOOOOVVEEEE HIIIIMMMM

😭💖😭💖😭💖😭😭💖😭💖😭💖😭😭💖

I'm still an old in the Yuppie fandom>:3

Ооооh, I was there at the dawn of its inception, in 2019, when the game just came out. And DAMN - there was almost NO fandom AT ALL.No art, no fanfics, no cosplays. NOTHING. Only maybe letsplays

And yes.

It's the same mess here as with Telltale Batman and their Penguin👀

That 5 years ago I FELL IN LOVE with Hugo, and now, a month or two ago after my return to the fandom. NoThInG HaS ChAnGeD~

(Except that I cried like a b*tch at every sneeze of his in dls (T T) GOSH)

I really like drawing him~

Especially his two completely different pastas (in accordance with my headcanon yes yes yes) - Silly and humorous, aaaand half-maniac half-sexy~ Well and a little sad of course🥺🐸 (my poor little toooaadd😭😭😭) I drew these full-length sketches for a VEEEEEEEEEEEERY long time, and I liked combining some beautiful sketches, like my FAVORITE scene at a birthday party or someone's ass on a printer😏, AND ABSOLUTELY STUPID MEMES>:}

AHEM.

👉👈

And yeahhhhh...

Towards the end I was completely carried away and I fell sooooo...

G O D

I'm not going to heaven.....

!!!CATCH A FAT TOAD ASS!!!

*EXPLODED OF SHAME☠💥*

[cheshirewriter01]

Happy penguin huntings

Law x reader

Summary: you demand your first kiss with your grumpy boyfriend.

Down the halls of a quaint little submarine, a huffy woman stomps her way through.

'Three weeks, three weeks me and law have been dating and I haven't gotten a kiss yet... I don't think I approve... So then... where is he?' she thought with a frustrated eye twitch.

Patience was never y/n's virtue, especially when it came to having an ungodly sexy boyfriend with the most kissable lips... Or at least she thinks they are, she's about to find out because his ass is being too slow.

And law? Well, he's just a shy inexperienced bean, he doesn't mean any harm, but sometimes even beans need a little push.

Three mildly vicious knocks startled the captain from his load of paperwork he was absorbed in whilst he was settled in his desk located in the medical bay.

He quickly returned to his work after muttering a quick 'come in,' only mildly hearing the door open and shut.

Y/n wasn't having it though, she wanted his full attention, and she was going to get it.

Sauntering herself next to his old leather chair she lightly kicked the wheels of it to gain his attention. "Law, get your nose out of your work for five seconds and acknowledge me!" She finished with a huff to show her exasperation.

He slowly set down his pen, releasing an irritated huff himself as he turned his chair to look in her direction, an unamused expression adoring his handsome face.

"I'm clearly busy y/n-ya, unless it's important, then it can wait until later." he went to reposition his chair towards his desk again when her hand shot out and grabbed the arm rest of it, forcing him to continue looking at her. He now noticed her irritated face, although he found it more adorable than anything, like an angry chipmunk.

"This is important, and it can't wait til later, absolutely not!" her voice increased at the end, growing even more agitated with his uninterested behavior.

A glare was passed her way, both for interrupting his work this long and for raising her voice at her captain, 'only she could get away with such a thing' he mused.

"Is someone on the crew injured?" he asked.

"well no"

"dying?"

"also no!" her eyes were growing wider with frustration.

"Are we being attacked?"

"Seriously you jerk, does it sound like we're being attacked!?"

"Exactly so what the hell is so important then hmm?" he asked with a raised brow as he settled back in his chair, a stupid smirk on his face, suddenly enjoying this short game of pushing her buttons after working on papers for so long.

He can't be a romantic, but he sure knows all the right ways to piss someone off, then again she was quite short tempered.

"No one's hurt, no one's dying, we're not being attacked, everything's fine, I just need you to fricking kiss me already!"

And as quick as his smirk came, it also left, leaving him with a blank face and he processed what exactly she just said..

.

.

".. w-what did you just?!" a fervent blush came across the captain's gave that he attempted to hide to no avail, due to the sudden shock of what she just said to him.

"y/n-ya you can't just spout random shit like that out of nowhere, you damn brat!" he glared at her from underneath his hat, still not quite making eye contact with her anymore.

A poor attempt to cover embarrassment with anger really. The only time his personality does a 180 like this is when she's so bold towards him.

Ignoring what he said, she carried on, determined to get way. "Are you gonna do it or not, I want a kissss, lawww, kiss meee!"

"would you keep it down before someone hears you dammit! " he yelled in a hushed whisper, a crimson color quickly returning back to his cheeks.

This only egged her on more continuing to whine even louder.

"Okay! Okay, I'll k-kiss you, just shut the hell up!" he quickly stood up attempting to cover her mouth with his hand, which only resorted in it being licked, a cold glare was thrown her way for that, one which could cut down enemies itself, yet, she only giggled in response.

"Why do I date you again?" he mused in playful confusion.

Pretending to be hard in thought, she responded shortly after.

"Hmmmm, because I'm cute and I make your life interesting?" she spoke with a coy smile on her rosy lips, lips he suddenly couldn't look away from after she brought the topic up...he won't lie, he has thought about kissing her before, multiple times, he just hasn't figured out how to go about it...until now.

"you make my life something alright." he scoffed

"Ohhhh but you didn't deny thinking I was cute, oooh captain thinks I'm cuteee!" She tattled the confession to the almost empty room like a middle school girl teasing her crush.

He simply rolled his eyes in return, determined to make her shut up, which he succeeded in seconds later after he quickly took a large step towards her, bodies becoming mere inches apart.

She immediately shot her eyes up to his once again smirking face, words suddenly lost in her throat at the sudden close proximity.

A more shy smile crossed upon her face, regardless of all her teasing, he does still make her nervous, can you blame her?

"You finally gonna give me what I want cap?" She spoke in a whisper as his large tattooed hand slowly rose up to cup her delicate face, bodies once again moving closer, she could feel the heat from his chest radiating onto hers.

"I know it's a hard task but if you stop talking I will" his other hand grazed the middle of her back, pushing her completely into him now as his face grew ever closer, she wanted to be mad at his response, but how could she when the only thing she could focus on right now was his devilish lips mere millimeters apart from her own now?

'where the hell did all his shyness suddenly go?' she still managed half a thought, pouting slightly, only tempting him further more as her plump bottom lip stuck itself out slightly more.

He was definitely still nervous, never having been so close to someone to even consider having a romantic relationship... and he just had to find someone even more blunt then himself.. but right now, the opportunity to finally feel her lips against him, was making his head so fuzzy with desire that he couldn't think about much else, working completely on instinct at the moment.

Lips slowly and cautiously brushed against one another to test out the waters, breathes hitching at the first contact, before law delicately placed his lips upon her closed ones, letting out a soft sigh of success.

His lips were definitely kissable and much softer than she had ever thought, and she was loving it, never wanting this moment to end between them.

Her hands gripped onto the front of his yellow hoodie to keep herself grounded, as she carefully pressed her lips more firmly to his, wishing for deeper contact. He happily obliged and returned the favor, slowly deepening the kiss to both of their pleasure.

Time and time again they separated and repeated the action, soft sighs and grins coming from the both of them as they enjoyed this tender moment between them. The kisses stayed pure and sweet, simply enjoying the feel of the other so closely. More passionate kisses can come at a later time, for now this was more than enough for them.

Once they separated for the last time, they layed their foreheads upon one another, slight catching their breath. She could feel his increased heart rate under her palm located on his chest, making her smile softly.

Once they lifted their heads to look at one another, it was clear you could see the adoration they had for each other in their eyes, no matter how much they love to bicker, they loved the other more.

And of course her being the playful brat she is, she had to have the final say, so with a happy grin on her face, she patted him on the chest and gave him her best smile.

"Thanks for the kiss cap, you can get back to work now."

And she turned around and happily waddled out of the room, like a penguin who just succeeded in her hunt, a soft click of the door was left in her absense.

And an exasperated captain.

A small grin rose to his face as he plopped back in his chair, staring at the door she just left from.

"What am I going to do with you.. Y/n-ya."

[zorosleftmantit101]

Law x Reader

Law and order

Law x gn reader

A/N: Laws a cootie patootie but i’d peg him

C/W: swearing, corny, spelling mistakes, unedited. 

The day was slow and quiet. You sat at the front desk of the bookstore, sipping your tea, watching the clouds roll over the setting sun. Lost in thought, you barely noticed the chime at the door alerting you to a new customer. Your attention drew to the man that had entered the store. He was tall and skinny, with a coat over his broad shoulders and black hair that framed his tan face. Sharp features and strong arms complimented his physique. You felt the air stolen from your lungs as his gaze locked with yours feeling heat crawl up your cheeks.

The man walked towards you, placing a rather large sword beside him, dragging you out of your trance he spoke up. "Excuse me, you wouldn't happen to have a book called 'Atlas of advanced surgery' by any chance?" His voice was deep and flat, seeming almost uninterested. Shooting out of your seat, you flush at your enthusiasm to help the handsome stranger. "I um," walking out from behind the desk, you beckoned him to follow you. "I'm not 100 per cent sure if we have the exact copy you're looking for." You whispered, "majority of our educational books get donated to local schools."

Taking a turn with him still trailing behind you, you walk down a collum of books. "though I believe," you reached up to pick a book off the shelf you stopped at. "here we are "Atlas of advanced surgery'" you handed the book to him with a smile. His eyebrows razed with a smirk at your enthusiasm taking the books from your hand. "Thank you my name is Trafalgar Law or just Law," he spoke, sticking out a hand. Grabbing it, you shook it firmly, looking up at him. "I'm Y/N it's nice to meet you."

Pacing back and forth through the his office, Law dragged his hands down his face. Law felt like he was about to do something dumb in fact, he KNEW he was about to do something dumb. Flopping into his chair, he groaned in thought. Since Law had seen you at the book store, he was utterly infatuated with you. From the way you jumped up sp quickly to help him to the way you glanced behind you with pink dusting your cheeks. You where so jittery, yet he couldn't get enough.

Law and his crew where ment to leave immediatly after grabbing the book he needed, but he just couldn't. He told the crew he couldn't find it and he needed another day to search, explaing they might as well dock and resupply. Confussed because the crew had only just resupplied on the previouse island. They decided to think nothing of it.

Standing from his seat, Law trugged out of his office, the door closing behind him with a bang. The crew watched quizickaly from their seats as their captain stormed back into town. "Thats a man on a mission if i've ever seen one" Sachi muttered to penguin.

You had just walked out of the book store when Law caught up to you, calling your name you turned around to see who was calling. Your face heated up seeing Law back so soon. Law had discarded his coat now with what looked to be more casual clothings. "Oh, hello Law, um, long time no see I-" clasping his hand in yours, he cut you off, looking you dead in the eye. "Please join my crew."

The polar tang had resurfaced around an hour ago, opting to glide at the surface so everyone could get some fresh air. I walked out onto the deck feeling the midnight breeze blow all my worries away. It had been a few months since Law had asked me to join the crew, I had settled in well, enjoying the company and the job itself. Being Laws assistant wasn't easy but it certainly wasn't hard, the most challenging part was probably keeping myself calm when I feel his eyes rake over me. His stupid, gorgeous, sexy, fucking eyes. 

Sitting on the railing, I dangled my feet off the side, looking at the stars above. Light drops of rain kissed my face as I felt the Seabreeze brush my skin. "Shouldn't sit up there, might fall in," A flat voice called. I already knew it was Law his voice had a distinct 'kill me please' tone. 

"I appreciate the concern Captain, but I'm very comfortable," I replied looking over my shoulder at him. My breath caught in my throat as my eyes raked over him. His shirt was nowhere to be seen, tattoos adorning his chest and torso. His sweatpants were just a little too low, not that I minded. 

"Y/N, your eyes are very explorative today" Law mussed a shit-eating smirk on his face. 

The asshole knew he was sexy. 

Turning away so quickly, I nearly got whiplash, my eyes trained onto the sea below.  

"Not my fault I'm not the one walking around half-naked," I murmured sneaking another glance. Bad idea, he was a lot closer now his chest mere inches from my back and his warm breath fanning against my neck. A shiver ran up my spine and a gasp left my lips when I felt one of his arms snake around my waist. "mmm I really, really don't want you falling in" he whispered against me.

Turning to look at his face, he was so close "I- I just wanted to get a good look at the sky," I splurted out, finally ripping my gaze away from him looking back to the stars still gleaming brilliantly. His head dropped to my shoulder breathing into my neck, "mm your warm" he mumbled looking to the stars with me, "really?" I whispered in reply looking towards him again. His gaze turned to me, then dropped to my lips eyes dilating with curiosity. "Yes, really, everything about you is warm and I appreciate that." Blush dusted my checks and I wasted no time in leaning down to engulf his lips in mine leaning into his embrace as his other arm pulled me off the railing and into his arms.

I wrapped my legs around his waist deepening the kiss. Law's tongue melted with mine sucking on my bottom lip as I pulled away for air "shit Y/N I've wanted to kiss you since I saw you sitting in that bookstore," Law heaved leaving open-mouth kisses along my neck. Pulling away Law rested his head on my shoulder again, the rain was picking up now. "Law, I really like you." I murmured too embarrassed to look at him.

he snorted before looking up at me "Well I would hope so, after all I did just kiss you." He laughed. "Your an ideot," I sighed, leaning back into his warm embrace.

EW CORNY BLUAGH *THROWS UP VILONTLY* anyway finally working on these fucking matchups

[fisheito]

What are you hopes and dreams for Yakumo? What kind of event theme would be your dream event? Any kinks or anything in particular you want to see in his rooms? Anything plot-wise you would like to see?

You know, I never thought about that

While playing , i suspend all my worldly desires. Then i take whatever I'm given like a good little F2P 🤣

Tho now that you bring it up🫨🤔..hmm...

Hopes n Dreams: a WIP , it seems . But for now...

- he needs to be in a dress. This is part of my agenda to have everyone put on the dress at LEAST once. No fakeouts like kuya's hakama pants. I want his legs sleeveless. Ready access. Destroy eiden while wearing a breezy skirt or smthh. Follow Blade's example , bc Blade is performing gender VERYwell.!!

Event???:

- yokai event with all three little beasties LOOKIN beastlier?? Yes???? Please??????????? I want them UNSETTLING and FERAL but with sharp beautifusful eyes.

in line with my desire for a snakular yakuhebi, i want him more monstrous. Covered in scales and the tail and the fangs with the dripdrop .which, yesyes probably never will happen but I'm gonna think about it anyway .

- I'm not creative when it comes to event ideas. The devs are way ahead of me on that. All i can think about is restaurant, but we've already had several forms of that. Barista yakumo..maid cafe...valentines parlour.... ahahahh I'm only ever thinking about eating...sorry... ...

- new jot note, new chance, becausr now i am DETERMINED to think of an event i wanna see. *scrunches brow* gmm..hmmm.......!!!! Does it count if i say some sorta winter event. One that requires yakumo to actually exist in cold weather. And he's wearing the giantest puffiest marshmallow of an 800layer coat because he's so very cold and will fall asleep in the snow if you leave him out there too long. Like, his silhouette is just a blob. There's nothing sexy about it. Covered head to toe in industrial arctic expedition protective gear 🤣🤣🤣 yakumo visits penguins. Wait what

-nononono JOT NOTE: TAKE 3! I *WILL* COME UP WITH AN EVENT! A CONCEPT! NOT JUST AN OUTFIT!. . . . . GOD but i just want an excuse to put him in the dorkiest/ most mundane outfits. He's just wearing farming clothes and helping his grandparents feed chickens. He's wearing a stupid little khaki uniform while catching bugs with a net like an amateur. Wait no he's the slutty glittery assistant in a leotard waiting to be cut in half by Magician Eiden where was i going with this i cant actually!!!--- move on to the next qursiyon

The ROOMS?:

- why has yakumo not hit it from the back yet. ? (Not counting FA R5..) Probably because doggystyle would deny him access to eiden's mouth, which is apparently a fate worse than cult sacrifice. Yakumo probably prefers to stare lovingly(🙄) at eiden's face while they're boinking so......

.

But *I* want them to throw it back. Just once. Eiden ass up face slightly-less-to-completely-inaccessible. Have garu as a guest instructor. I request this specific new angle just once kudapleas

- you mentioned kink and idk about elaborate kinks but '*slaps the roof of the car* TIE HIM UP. SUBJUGATE HIM. MAKE HIM WHINE AND CRY AND COME THE SECOND EIDEN TOUCHES HIS DICK. OR COME UNTOUCHED. THE POINT IS ,I WANT MORE OF THAT BULLYING FROM DARK NOVA R2

- it didn't occur to me to mention this bc i thought it was natural;assumed;common knowledge; but i shouldn't assume whatever i want is group consensus. So, explicitly stating that i am waiting for the snake hemipenes. I would love the non human look but it doesn't look like we'll get that. So I'll settle for 2 human dicks. Incredibly gracious of me iknow.

((Taking a break to thank all the fic authors who fulfill fantasies i know will never show up in game. The mind is a powerful tool but i still need kindling and these writers are made of dry sticks))

Um, ploT? Maybe?:

- the only thing I'd like for plot yakumo is to keep on showing his char development! He's changing ever so slowly!but steadily! Like how in his first interaction with rei, i was expecting him to get cowed by rei's blunt wording, but nope... he... understood what rei meant at base level and responded with a level of Spine and Emotional Awareness, instead of pure panic. Huh. Well whaddya know. Surprised me, fo sho. So I'd like to see him doing his best as time goes on ahhaha👈👉👈👉👈👉🤜

- i have NO idea where they arw going with the plot. Once again i must reiterate that i am like a child in front of a shiny screen re: consuming media. I have All belief. I am just going with it. There are no predictions or criticisms ongoing in my brain unless something is like... egregiously heteronormatively painful. So.

[localgremlinboy]

Holy rogues headcanons Batman we've reached a part 5! Thanks again to everyone who likes my silly ideas! Here’s some more!

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6]

- Joker has a license but it's one of those joke chuck e cheese kids print out licenses 

- Harley has a “federal boobie inspector” badge, Ivy does not find it as hilarious as she does

- Joker makes his goons carry around headshots he can autograph and give out

- penguin writes "tweet tweet" with a penguin emoji on the end of all his tweets as a sign off. If it doesn't fit, he adds a second tweet to put in the sign off

- Oswald also is the kind of person who tweets goodnight and good morning to his followers. Twoface criticized him once for it and was blocked. Tbh Oswald blocks anyone who “harshes his space”

- Just to upset Riddler, Scarecrow talks about electronics like "the computer", "the internet", "the email". He'll be like "oh I guess I'll have to message you through the email" and Riddler has a meltdown

- Joker is constantly trying to start nicknames for himself that no one agrees to. The one name he gets off the ground gets credited to Batman

- At one point, all the rogues agree to doing a documentary series with a bunch of college film students (it's basically what we do in the shadows but with rogues). They frame it like, "a day in the life of *insert rogue here*. Twoface/Harvey's starts off with, "firstly, we'd like to clear up the rumor of any possible.. personal relationship with Bruce Wayne.." and as he starts rambling about how completely professional the rumor is, the camera zooms in on a half naked Bruce trying to sneak out of the back office window. Harley shows up in every episode via schengens and keeps waving at the camera. Scarecrow declines for his privacy but still ends up in most of Riddler's episode, judging him in the background and half of their interactions become meme clips and reaction gifs. Catwoman surprisingly agrees to let them follow her through a heist but she also takes the time to clear up the rumor that she has a friendship with Bruce Wayne, which is CLEARLY ridiculous according to her.. and the camera again zooms in on a cracked doorway that shows Bruce playing with her cats. When he notices the camera, he again tries to escape out the window and falls

- Scarecrow retweets Riddler memes

- Penguin consistently tries to go on podcasts and talkshows to prove he's not doing crimes and either accidentally admits to something way more illegal than what he's defending or he'll make an embarrassing meme out of himself trying to relate to youths

- Oswald also has a TikTok but it's the equivalent of older celebrities getting one. He has no idea what he's doing but he is trying SO hard! Selina is constantly goofing on his content hardcore on her account

- Ivy breaks into the botanical gardens & random establishments with plants to take care of them

- Riddler has travel boggle in his car

- Harley had a steampunk cosplay phase in early college and is super second hand embarrassed about it.. until she learns Ivy also had a steampunk cosplay phase and high key indulges her by putting on stupid sexy steampunk outfits

- Riddler orders a lot of late night Chinese food and the restaurant totally knows it's him but also like he never robs them & he's a good tipper. But he saves the fortune cookies for Harley, who eats them like chips when she visits. (she and Ivy come over to do puzzles with him and sometimes Scarecrow). But Riddler puts out a bowl of fortune cookies for her and she loves them so much

- Riddler is banned from several establishments because he refuses to apologize for various arguments

[casmick-consequences]

"hear me out" cake but it's just me putting them in a tumblr post lmao

#1: The curvy mug from Patently Stupid in Jackbox Party Pack 5

#2: Kowalski from Penguins of Madagascar

#3: Fungus Maximus from Barbie Mermaidia

#4: Speaking of Mermaidia; Bibble but ONLY SPECIFICALLY when he eats the sexy voice berry

#5: The elf receptionist from Shrek 2 (the most reasonable one in this list probably)

#6: Leviathans from Supernatural (what that mouth do)

#7: The bell from the Taco Bell logo

#8: The harp

#9: The "K" in Kellogg's

#10: Flynn from Ice Age: Continental Drift

These are just some of them. If you want to see more, let me know skdjskjds

[alpacinosgf]

Murphy is probably an incel and wipes his dusty Dorito fingers on the carpet in the basement in between writing stupid tweets. The person who wrote this article, however, sees Ozzie’s sexiness :D https://kotaku.com/colin-farrell-penguin-show-hbox-max-set-pics-1850213829

SHE GETS ITTTTTT SHE UNDERSTANDS

[medicus-mortem]

@piratebento asked: "Hey, Cap. I had some ideas about a new boiler suit that involves a heart cut outs in the chest area for the rest of us to show off our abs... and I guess Ikkaku's..." Penguin says, making a motion with his hands and mouthing boobs like it's not at all obvious what he's talking about. "Thoughts"?

Bother Law Hours

For a long minute, Law simply stares at his crewmate, eyes blank but unsure of what he's hearing. All of this is instantly stupid. From Penguin's apparently childish inability to simply say breasts, tits, or boobs to the asinine idea he's just spouted. Makes Law wonder if Penguin even thought before opening his mouth. Law sighs, a hand rising to rub fingers over his eyes before clasping the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, I guess I'm gonna waste my time tellin' you how stupid that idea is," Law starts, raising his head to focus on his friend. He reaches out to grab Penguin's collar, giving him a quick shake. "This boiler suit is designed to protect you from the dangers living in a metal machine brings. Exposed skin in this environment of heated metal, steam, and moving parts isn't smart.

"As for that ... design change, frankly, it's kinda sexist," Law continues, grimacing. He pulled Ikkaku from a toxic, sexist work environment where her bosses made her wear sexy outfits, and he refuses to even slightly perpetuate that. Ikkaku is the only person who can sexualise herself. "Doesn't seem fair to make Ikkaku have a boob window while the boys only get an ab window. Should be everyone gets a boob window or everyone gets an ab window. No differences in uniform, at all.

"Still, really strong 'no' on this idea."

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Re: content warnings

Stupid sexy Penguins apparently.

I knew it would happen eventually

[mojo-dojo-cracka-house]

Ayo buddy, watch it I'm waukin 'ere (Pinned Post)

Sup bitchesssss, we're a bunch of crazy people who are insane but also slightly funny but just slightly.

3 Mods:

@thebluekid-underyourbed

@chaosreinbrothered

@unknowncorvidae

This is a silly little family AU because we're a silly little hypothetical family!! We're a little stupid so be warned you might lose braincells.

Ursa: the world-weary mother. She’s given up trying to reign in the family and now just sits back and watches them commit arson and kill the world. A raging alcoholic but only for comedic purposes. She has a high tolerance to alcohol and never gets drunk. Could chug vodka without blinking. Loves both her queer and cishet kids and would snap the neck of anyone who dares even look at them in a rudely. Penguin.

Ad: the neighborhood kid. He’s not even part of the family biologically and legally speaking. One day they waddled up to Ursa and the next day Ursa announced everyone now had an emotionally adopted sibling. They hang out around the house and create chaos with the family. Tortures people for the heck of it (a telltale sign of potential serial killers, according to rumors), threatens to fuck people with Cranberry, commits arson with the Roomba (and is sometimes caught actively encouraging it to run over the dog poop and track it around the house), etc. A pleasure to have in class.

Splat: elder sibling who is shorter than everyone. Very smart and super cool. She’s probably the second-most sensible person in the family. Has her own fair share of a criminal record. Mostly physical assault and some light arson here and there. Barely has her life together but it makes her a funnier person so there’s that. Fucking legend. Controlled chaos.

Osmosis: younger sibling who towers over everyone. Has never cussed, will never cuss, does not cuss. He does, however, willingly be the Guy In The Chair. Is the distraction in most crimes. Is the sneaky boi too. Likes setting off the plan. He’ll throw the bomb that will distract the guards, light the dynamite to draw away the police, etc. Enjoys coding. Has been known to tell the Roomba to draw dicks. Wholesome but will snap all 206 of your bones before finally killing you without hesitation or remorse. Weirdly obsessed with shoulders and Pokemon. Can code though, so there's that

Cranberry: middle child and middle height. Threatens to fuck literally everyone. Helps Ad catch the animals he tortures and watches. Points at every single fictional character and draws attention to their asses. Thinks the monkeys from Wizard of Oz were sexy. Cleans faer glasses with soap and water. Excels at school because of course fae does. Will break your shins. Enjoys finding loopholes to even the simplest instructions. A pleasure to have in class.

Ai: tired wine aunt. Aggressively ADHD. Best sister and aunt ever. Always sneaks candy in pockets, encourages crimes, doesn’t care about bedtimes, tells Ursa the kids behaved very well while she was out of the house thank you very much, etc (obviously Ursa knows but the house isn’t on fire so she considers that a win). Is drunk all the time, but somehow always manages to be a light drunk. Not drunk enough to crash the car, not drunk enough to be loopy, nothing. She is just always seen with a wine glass filled to the brim (never spilled anything in her life) and she always just seems sliiiiiightly tipsy. Never more, never less. Ursa says her sister seemed like that ever since they were kids.

Jiyuu: hobo. Always seen carrying around a sieve for some reason. Not even carrying around - it’s just in his pockets all the time. Jun Leaf calls it a holebowl and nobody has called it anything else. Hobo with a holebowl. Cranberry took one look at Jiyuu on his first visit to the family and promptly said, “You look like a hobo.” Jiyuu has never lived that down. Jiyuu enjoys teaching crimes and controversial stuff. He makes sure all the kids are aware that Australia is a lie. He talks about WWII and stuff and pins it on random people. He says murder is good and the kids repeat his arguments to everyone they meet. The hotdog guy at the baseball stadium did 9/11. Always manages to look 36 and 93 and 12 at the same time.

The Roomba (AKA Jun Leaf): mix of BB8 and Roomba. There’s no question in anyone’s mind that it is alive. It showed up one day and has just been in the house ever since. One day Ursa complained about the constant mess around the house, and the next day there was the Roomba. A few days later, Splat commented that the Roomba kept showing up in places that there was no way it could reach and it was almost like it was alive. They name it Jun Leaf as a joke. The next morn, the Roomba has Googly eyes taped on it. Nobody knows who taped the Googly eyes. Every 18th of November, the Roomba is found with a blue birthday hat.

Jun ?: an alternate? One day there was a kid on the couch sitting crisscrossed with the Roomba on his lap. Said he broken out of the mirror. He showed them the mirror that sat in the supply closet where the Roomba was supposed to always return to after doing it’s periodic cleaning of the house. It was broken. Nobody believed vim until ve said vis name was Jun ? and then held up the Roomba and asked for its name. Hangs around the house. Always has pieces of mirror in vis hair and clothes. Is the human embodiment of the Roomba. Often found with the Roomba in vis hands.

NotAd: Sometimes Ad shows up to the house hollering for blood. Other times NotAd shows up hollering for food. Ursa worried something happened to her child the first time NotAd made an appearance. NotAd is Ad just reversed. The family speculates NotHim to also be from the mirror (mostly because NotHim looks exactly like Ad but is left-handed). Somehow always has a mirror shard on NotHim (similar as to how Ad somehow always has a pocket knife). Palms of NotHis hands have scars that look like NotHe pushes their way through glass.

Oscar: Osmosis but as a virtual entity. Odiend2 first appeared on Osmosis' computer, much to Osmosis' surprise (he just walked in and there Odiend2 was, a perfect reflection of him waving at himself). Odiend2 has also showed up on the TV screen, spoke to the family through the TV speakers, and occasionally beeps the microwave in some form of code. The Roomba beeps back (somehow; the Roomba has no voice box). Odiend2 helps Osmosis out with coding but also enjoys randomly deleting files. An oddball (like Osmosis, lol) but he gets an excuse because he’s a virtual thing and cannot wreak actual havoc.