#stupid ass fucking ai name

[artdcnaldson]

this is family business can he pipe the fuck down

[st-hedge]

Step 1: play mgs2 and have a laugh at how silly it is. Step 2: get struck weeks later with how sad that story was

[theyokaiwatchblogever]

been dead a hot sec on here but coming on to say im very disappointed in L5 using AI for the new game!!! i was genuinely excited when i first saw the trailer- the idea and concept seems REALLY fun and its still following a YKW vibe, so i was happy!- and then later tonight i saw very damning evidence that AI was used for the BG art :/ we just cant have nice things anymore, can we? uhg.

i sense a trip on the Seven Seas to play the game in the future... sighh. iykyk.

[hybridirl]

i’ve never done this before…

18 + only, please!

ellie x f!loser!reader

a/n: so basically i was on janitor ai because i’m genuinely an addicted freak and this was inspired by a chat i had :3 im also replaying tlou2 bc i cant stop i need it i need it i need it. also i think a LOT more things make sense now, so i think you should replay after u play it.

brief summary: ellie is ur big sister’s best friend! but, unfortunately you’re dubbed an “annoying little sister,” your sister’s not home, ellie’s high when she comes over, and ur a loser nerd who can’t deal with confrontation :(. (au if it wasn’t obvious!)

tw / DUBCON?, ellie is very mean, degrading, praise, pet names, reader is a virgin, small age gap if you really squint, porn without a plot, rushed sex, scissoring (tribbling?), use of y/n i think…

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with a grunt, you pulled your pajama pants up the rest of the way. you were headed to the door after hearing seven hard knocks on the door.

“hello—“ you began, cutting yourself off when you see ellie, your sister’s best friend. “ellie?” you glanced behind her, then behind yourself. “she’s not home right now.”

“yeah, yeah,” she slurred, and your lips went into a thin line from her state, so obviously intoxicated. “she told me come ‘n wait. she’s gettin’ her shit rocked, ‘r whatever. she dropped me off ‘ya know? said you wouldn’t mind. you don’ mind, do you?”

being such a caring person had its ups and downs. you weren’t fond of ellie, and she wasn’t fond of you. she had been your biggest bully throughout the entirety of middle and high school. but, you couldn’t deny her entry. she could get hurt or worse, and you didn’t want that. or to be responsible of it.

you adjusted your glasses, eyeing her with a thoughtful look. her eyes were halflidded, red, and she smelled disgusting. she eyed you right back, her stare almost intimidating.

“no, ellie. i don’t mind,” you said begrudgingly, stepping aside to allow her in. you watched her make her way around the all-too-familiar home while you shut the door. you mentally prepared yourself for tending to her needs; you knew she’d tell if you hadn’t. you also prepared for the anger she would inevitably feel. she was an angry person when intoxicated. you leaned against the door and watched her opened the fridge.

“what do you got?” ellie asked, shutting the refrigerator and looking at you. “what’re you gonna make?”

“i don’t know,” you responded and took a glance at the stove. you hadn’t noticed what she took from the fridge, only gasping when you heard the familiar sound of a beer opening. “hey, hey, hey! that’s my dad’s!” you watched ellie shrug and give you a “so what?” look. “stop it, that’s not good for you!” you rushed over, reaching for the beer, but her rough hand kept you in place as she chugged it down. “ellie, stop! you’re already high, that’s gonna make it worse; ellie, stop!”

“and what the fuck do you know?” she asked as she slammed the beer bottle of the counter, “you stupid fuckin’ loser, what the fuck is wrong with you? i’ll do what-the-fuck-ever i want. you’re such a fucking lame-ass, you won’t even take a lil sip o’ this thing,” she stuck the beer can up to your mouth, which you turned away from, “that’s what i thought, you stupid bitch. you’re probably a virgin, too, huh? you don’t even try- nobody even tries for you. no man, no woman, no whatever. never been in a relationship, never been in fuckin’ nothing. you are such a fucking loser.”

your jaw was slack, almost looking like a fish out of water as it tried to shut and open.

“you’re too high for this,” you said slowly, still shocked at her words. you took a step back, your back pressing against the island counter.

“you don’t know the first thing about ‘too high,’ jackass. bet you never had a dick in you before. too busy studyin’ your stupid fucking books to be the good girl you are. can’t even do this because you’re always bein’ a teacher’s pet, always bein’ a goody-two-shoes, know it all, fucking bitch. probably got a few toys like the desperate freak you are. maybe a dildo? nah, you want that pussy t’stay tight, huh?” you thought it couldn’t get worse than the insults before, but this was insane. your eyes were wide, shock filling your features.

“ellie!” you gasped in horror and embarrassment, “i— i’m calling my sister!”

“you’re a fucking snitch!” she giggled, pointing at you. “she doesn’t care what the fuck i’m saying to you. she’s too busy slutting herself out to give a fuck about your pathetic ass, baby.”

“go away, ellie,” you whimpered out, eyes at the ground. you attempted to push past her, but her hands gripped your wrists. “please.”

“you’re not getting rid of me,” she growled, her beer-breath filling your nostrils, “you’re a goddamn joke. i’m not going anywhere ‘til i’m good ‘n ready. you just know i’m right.” she leaned in, her lips brushing your cheek as she whispered deep into your ear, “you just want my hands all over you, don’t you, y/n? i’ve seen how you watched me. you want a real woman’s hands on ‘ya. all of over your pretty body, hm?”

“no,” you whispered right back, your brows furrowed. this was your sister’s best friend. this was just… wrong; you couldn’t explain it, but it wasn’t right. and she was high! she didn’t know what she was doing, what she was saying, but her touch felt so…

“don’t you lie to me,” she huffed her breath hot in your ear, “you wanna get touched bad. you know you do. you want my hands slidin’ down your pretty panties and touchin’ that clit. make you cum all on my hand. you want that, don’t you?”

“ellie,” you almost moaned out at her dirty talk, your brows knitted together in conflict. your hand went to cover your mouth as her hand slipped beneath the waistband of your pjs and simultaneously your underwear.

“let it out, baby,” she told as your hand muffled a broken moan, “you’re already so, so wet for me. this pussy’s just beggin’ for my touch, huh?” her finger-pad ran across your clit and your knees buckled. she giggled in response, a lazy grin plastered on her face. “mm, ya feel that? this’s what y’ve been missin’ out on with all that nerdy bullshit you do.” her fingers slipped easily inside you, making your eyes roll with pleasure; another moan escaped your throat. “y’so tight. just like i thought.” she pulled her fingers out, quickly giving them a lick before tugging your bottoms down. “oh, baby…” she moaned at the sight, licking her lips as she took you in. “look at that pretty pussy. mhm, ‘n all f’r me, huh?” she knelt down, getting face to face with your cunt. “answer me.” she kissed at your inner thighs. all you could do was watch, trembling under her dominating touch.

you yelped, jumping in surprise as she bit your thigh harshly.

“i said answer.”

“y-yes! all for you, ‘s all for you,” you whimpered, whining as her mouth finally met with your drooling pussy. your resolve had slipped away, only thinking about that needy, touch-starved vulva of yours. “oh, ellie…” she grinned as she watching you come undone, your fingers slipping into her hair and tugging at it. she lapped and lapped at your clit, tongue running circles around the sensitive bud. she gave it a last kiss before she pulled away, smirking at your distress.

“preview, baby. all that was. go to your room, m’followin’ you.”

you were anxious to walk, taking just a moment before giddily rushing to your room. the masculine woman easily followed your direction, shutting the door hard behind her as she pulled you down to the bed with her. her hands were immediately on you as you lay atop her, caressing and running down your back, cupping your ass and squeezing.

“you’re so ready for me baby, aren’t you?” she asked with a small smirk playing at her lips. “you wanna grind that pretty pussy on mine, don’t you?”

“i-i’ve never done this before, i-i don’t know what to do,” you admitted, although she already knew your circumstance.

“makin’ me do all the work, you pretty lil pillow princess?” she teased, that same lazy grin on her face. she easily flipped you over, watching your eyes widen in surprise. “god, how are you so perfect…” she moaned softly to herself, her hands running down your sides, down your legs, and down your calves. she reached her jeans, unbuttoning them and tugging them down quickly. you gulped as you eyed her pubic mound, her dark hair trimmed finely.. she lifted your hips up, appreciating your vulva once more. she used her thumb to lift up your clitoral hood, bending down to meet the pearl with her tongue. “mm, god, i can’t get enough of you. pull your shirt up, wanna see those tits ‘ve been wantin’ to see.” you did as you were told, quickly pulling your nightshirt up and showing her your breasts. a groan left her throat as her hands reached out to touch them, tweaking and rolling your nipples between her fingers.

“please,” you whined, your head tilted back. “please, ellie…”

“oh, i know you’re so needy, huh? never done this before? never been touched so good by another girl b’fore, huh?” ellie teased once more, and all you could do was nod. it was all true. “say it, baby. tell me how much of a loser you are.”

with an embarrassed grimace, you obliged, “i-i’m a big loser. ‘ve never, ever gotten laid ‘n i wanna… oh!” you gasped as you felt the sensation of her pussy meet yours. “ellie…” her hips ground against yours, your clits bumping and running across each other.

“you like this? my pussy all over yours?” she growled, rolling her hips to meet your cunt. “fuck, you’re so wet.” you moaned out, your hands trying to find a place to stay as they flailed. they gripped the sheets and you watched above as her pussy slid across yours. you both glistened with a thin layer of sweat, your bodies becoming hot with arousal. “you feel so fucking good.”

“yes,” you cried, “more.” and she gave you more, her hips rolling with fervor while you writhed in pleasure. “p-please— ellie!”

“yeah, scream my name you little slut,” she purred, her auburn hair sticking to her sweaty face. “let ‘em know— let the neighbors know you’re finally getting laid.”

you continued to moan her name, completely drunk on this feeling. she let out small little ‘just like that’s’ as your voice echoed off the walls of your room.

it was intense, your bodies moving together and so perfectly in sync. sweat dripped from her forehead onto your belly, slightly coating your skin. her hands gripped your chest as she ground against you, the position slightly awkward, but pleasing nonetheless as your heats mushed together in symphony. sloppy squelches filled your ears, almost drowned out by your moans and cries as she took you.

“i’m gonna,” you began, tears welling up in your pretty eyes, “i’m gonna cum, ellie!”

“yeah? right on my pussy? cum right on my pussy, baby,” she moaned, her hands reaching her cup her own breast. you moaned, following her command like a dog as your canal contracting around nothing, costing her slick folds in all your essence. your body convulsed as you came, and the sight forced a moan out of her throat. “yeah, that’s it, my good girl, fu—ck… i’m cumming!” with her orgasm following in suit, she gripped your leg hard, riding out her orgasm as you tried to come down from your own. you whined from the overstimulation, feeling her arousal spread out on your flesh. she shushed you, her index finger on your lips as she calmed her breathing. she dropped your leg, plopping beside you with a grunt.

“t-that was good,” you said to her, your eyes lingering on her glistening face.

“mhm, now you get to brag to a—ll your nerdy, little virgin friends that you,” she jabbed a finger, “got laid.”

“you’re mean,” you huffed, a little pout on your face. she smirked, bringing a hand to the back of your neck and bringing you in to kiss.

“yeah?” she chuckled, “but you like it.”

[gladiatorcunt]

summary: rafe cameron x afab maid!reader

cw: titfucking, rimming/ass eating, collaring, power imbalance/dubcon, no real face slapping but reader gets rafe’s rings pressed into their face, gun mentions, rafe talks about wanting to do a line off reader’s tits, throwaway implication that his dad saw you, general rafe-esque warnings 💀, very plotless & possibly ooc (i’m new to the show but i’ve been lurking for a bit), rafe spits on reader, slight dumbification/objectification, hate sex coded but that's more bc i have a love/hate relationship with rafe, he calls reader a bitch once and a also a slut once, use of good girl

block & move on if uncomfortable !!

do not translate, repost, or give ai my work

kinktober masterlist

This stupid carpet is hell on your knees. Not that there was any time to pull a pillow down under them, you were pulled into the room and shoved down so fast you got dizzy. You’re brought out of your ruminations by a rough palm seizing your face in its grasp and squeezing. 

Rafe huffs, leaning forward to make sure he didn’t miss the way your eyes widened as his fingers tightened. His gaudy rings are going to leave impressions on your cheeks but it’s hard to care about that right now. One second, you’re dusting off the son of your employer’s bedroom, and the next you’re getting a wad of split slung on your face. 

Your pussy decides to be a traitor and clench in response. 

“Sorry ‘bout that………” Rafe trails off, flicking the spit off your cheek like he was picking at a persistent hangnail. 

The apology is as insincere as it could be but something about the bored inflection in his tone gets you wet. 

“It’s fine.” Your “ice princess facade” as he’s called it  falls apart a tad, an embarrassing heat blooming throughout your face. 

He seems satisfied with his attempt at amateur art and scoops the rest up with two of his fingers. He doesn’t ask you to clean them off, just shoves them in between your plump lips without a word. 

“You’re so fuckin’ messy, being such a shitty maid right now, you know that, babe?” He hums, giving your face one final squeeze. 

You’re not even sure he knows your name, he sure doesn’t act like it. All he does is coo at you condescendingly as you suckle on his fingers, telling you how much better you are at this. Once you’ve done an adequate job of polishing them off, he pulls the digits away and gives you a weak love tap. Rafe’s obviously wanting to wring something else out of you. 

You hate that your first instinct is to say “Yes, sir?” 

You also hate that it’s what actually fucking comes out of your mouth. 

The grin that splits his mouth reminds you of the only time you’ve ever successfully caught a mouse in an old fashioned trap. A vermin that used to disgust you until it stayed and you gave it a name. And then your mom has to turn you away from the sight of Jacque’s tiny body cleaved in two. 

“Get those fucking clothes off, now.” He orders you, palming himself through his khakis. "And toys don't talk back."

You roll your eyes and comply. You ignore Rafe's ramblings about how he wished his dad made you wear one of those skimpy made costumes without underwear, that he way he could stare at your pussy whenever you bent over. The door is wide open, you know you could just make a break for it if you wanted. But you kind of like how the humiliation twists your stomach in a knot. The air in the room gets so much hotter when you focus on the large bulge in front of your face.

As soon as your uniform is lying on the hardwood floor in a rumpled heap, your tits are being squished together. Rafe takes several moments to weigh each globe of flesh in his hands.

"Pretty tits, always wondered what they looked like under that stupid uniform. Wanted to make a mess of you so bad but you had to be all fuckin' stuck up and prissy." He hisses, digging his nails into your breasts.

He massages them in circular motions, forcing them to press together like he could cum untouched to the sight of it alone.

You obediently stay silent as you watch Rafe stagger to his feet and wrestle his leather belt out of his pants. His bottom lip is being toyed with to the point that tiny drops of blood are peeking out of the skin. The leather makes a thwack! sound as it passes through the final belt loop and flops around. Rafe continues to eye your tits like a hawk as he wraps the belt around his hand and kneels down to your level.

He tilts your head up with one finger under your chin, "This is going around your neck, okay? I don't have a leash to go with it, but I'll get one for next time."

You open your mouth to speak or maybe to moan at the vision of the expensive leather tensely coiled around your vulnerable neck like a snake about to strike. The warning look he gives you shut you up, but your damp panties made you want to push him further.

"Don't move a muscle."

The belt was warm to the touch, probably because of all the hours Rafe had spent on the golf course or wherever his "business" takes him. You stay perfectly still as he curled it around your neck, having to wrap it around you again due to the length. The metal belt buckle clicked as he fastens it, tugging it firmly to test how tight it was. It definitely feels like a weight baring down on you, but you seem to be able to breathe so he steps back again.

"There we go, pretty bitch just for me."

His pants fall to the ground unceremoniously, revealing the cock you may have had a stray wet dream or two about. Crowned by neatly and clearly obsessively trimmed hair, it looks about 7 inches and thicker than your forearm. His cock has a slight left curve, with a couple prominent veins and an almost reddish-pink colored tip that puffs out at the sides a bit.

Rafe's cockhead catches the drool that embarrassingly leaks out of your mouth, and you kitten lick the slit as you stare up at him through your lashes. You want to smile at the punched-out groan emanating from above you, but he might slap you for getting cocky, it wouldn't be unwelcome.

"You like it, babe? Yeah, I bet you do."

He brings your hands up to your tits and you pick up on what he wants you to do. Anticipating Rafe Cameron's needs is part of your job after all. You scrape the sides of your chipped painted nails against them as you softly cup and squish the globes together, creating a perfect pocket for him.

"Good girl." He chuckles, ruffling your hair like you were his pet.

He savors the wet slide of his cock through the valley of your breasts. You hold them impossibly closer together, ignoring the discomfort by getting lost in the game of peek a boo his tip is playing with you during every thrust. A near constant stream of precum is flowing from the silt and ending up all over the tops of your tits.

Rafe pants as he speeds up his thrusts, his pupils expanding as he takes in the spectacle of you hot dogging him with your tits. For how preppy he likes to act sometimes, he sure does seem to enjoy painting you with his bodily fluids. He weaves his hands down from their deadly hold on your hair to pinch and flick your nipples.

" 'G-gonna cream all over these gorgeous tits, get them messy, then snort some coke off your nipples after.”

It doesn't take as long as a man like him would prefer before he's spilling all over your heaving chest with a sound so inhuman you'd think he was possessed.

You're past caring if he sees you hungrily open your mouth as wide as possible in the hopes of catching some of his cum in your mouth. You grind your sopping wet cunt against the floor when you do, and fuck it tastes better than it has any right to.

A quiet 'shit' rings out and the room spins as you're swiftly flipped on your stomach. Rafe crowds behind you and yanks your hips up. You don't think much of it until you feel warm breath on your ass. You jolt in surprise, and he gives you a light smack on both cheeks before spreading them with his thumb.

"Bet you thought I wanted your pussy, huh? Well, this tiny hole right here looks much cuter, you can't blame me. We'll get you some cute plugs." Followed by a flat tongue licking a stripe over your rim. He gives your hole a strangely soft peck and then teases the tip of his tongue past the entrance.

You squeal, which you'd be mortified by if the sensation of Rafe's tongue filling up your ass didn't feel so good. The way he curls it and jabs it deeper between your cheeks in short busts is running a huge risk of causing you to go insane. It's like he's exploring every nook and cranny, you should be laughing because the man that treats you like a back-alley whore is up to his ears in your ass. His groans and grunts are muffled but they give you the confidence to be louder.

He drags his face away and hangs his tongue over you until a load of saliva drips down onto you. You shiver when it meets your hole. A high-pitched moan comes out when he massages it into the puckered skin with his thumb.

He dots sloppy open-mouthed kisses up and down your rim, nipping the flesh as he goes.

"I would say it's gonna be too tight, but sluts like you can take anything, right?"

You're too busy nodding to notice the sound of shoes hitting the floor in their rush to get away, or that the person wearing them softly closes the door behind them.

[sheisjoeschateau]

"Oh, so we DO love Steve..." | PART I

Steve Harrington x Bauman!fem!reader enemies to lovers, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, upside down mayhem, S2-S4, post S4 universe hot-take, end-of-the-world / dystopian setting, ugly fights turned smut (...but with hella plot). 18+

WHEN THE UNEXPECTED NIECE OF MURRAY BAUMAN GETS THROWN IN THE MIX, THE GANG HAS NO IDEA JUST WHAT THEY'RE IN FOR. SCRATCH THAT - STEVE DOESN'T KNOW. YOU GET ALONG WITH EVERYONE WELL. YOU BANTER WITH THE ADULTS, WHO APPRECIATE YOUR HELP. THE KIDS LOVE AND WORSHIP YOU. YOU'RE HELPFUL ALL AROUND. BUT AS FAR AS STEVE IS CONCERNED, YOU'RE JUST NUISANCE. AFTER ALL, YOU'RE THE REASON HE LOST THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE AND MISSED OUT ON A LIFE THAT "COULD'VE BEEN." IF YOU HAD JUST KEPT YOUR SORRY ASS OUT OF THE PICTURE... IF YOU HAD NEVER GONE WITH NANCY AND JONATHAN AFTER THEY LEFT YOUR WHACK-JOB UNCLE, MURRAY BAUMAN'S, BUNKER? HE WOULD BE HAPPY. SO F*CKING HAPPY. BUT HERE YOU WERE. YOU WERE BASICALLY THE COOLER (...AND SURE, MUCH MORE ATTRACTIVE) FEMALE VERSION OF MURRAY BAUMAN. YOU WERE SARCASTIC, QUICK-WITTED, TOO SMART FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, AND APPARENTLY BUILT FOR THE WAR. SURE, YOU WEREN'T AS BRASH AS YOUR UNCLE. BUT IN STEVE'S EYES, YOU WERE SOMEHOW FAR MORE OBNOXIOUS. HE DOWNRIGHT HATED YOU. HE WILL FOREVER HATE YOU... BUT WILL HE?

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORK TO BE COPIED AND/OR REPOSTED ON HERE OR ANY OTHER PLATFORM, OR PUT INTO ANY AI PROGRAMS. THIS IS AN 18+ BLOG, MDNI.

An original fanfiction series, written by Misha St. James.

⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ SERIES MASTERLIST ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

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I did not proof-read this after Tumblr gave me hell trying to share. So pls excuse possible typos. hehe

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Let's just get to the point, shall we?

Once upon a time, a young boy named Will Byers went missing. Later, he was found in an alternate dimension by the world's #1 mom and a cynical cop turned hero. A girl with a shaved head had telekinetic superpowers, befriend's Will's four loyal friends along the way and helping them track down their missing party member. Then, whatever the hell was on the other side - whatever was in this...upside down...took back Eleven. She'd been missing ever since that dreadful winter.

Fast forward to now: you're sitting in your uncle's bunker, looking at his wild display of efforts.  Papers, files, whiteboards covered in multiple words, arrows, sketches - all in different colored markers. Murray Bauman was on a mission, and he would be damned if that grumpy, cynical smart-ass known as Jim Hopper honestly thought that he could dismantle his efforts.  Nice try, chum. Game on. Thankfully, you'd gone to school with Barbara Holland. That's whose parents had assigned the task of searching for her to your uncle. Murray was asking you tons of questions, and you were glad to help. It meant spending time with the only family member you cared for, despite his wackiness. You guys got each other. Bantered well. Got shit done. Honestly, it was also a great way of drinking safely and not with a bunch of rowdy teenagers at some stupid party. You got along just fine with everyone at school. But damn, they could all be annoying.  ...especially Steve fucking Harrington, who was now the topic of conversation. You know, given that his house is where Barbara was last seen. "It just isn't making sense," your uncle huffed, raking his hands through his oily dark hair.  You sipped on the glass of vodka that your uncle had poured you, hissing at the strong taste. Leaning across the coffee table, seated on his couch, you tried to connect the dots with him. "I'm telling you, someone in that group of teens knows what's up. Or at least has an idea." Your uncle swigged at his vodka, defeated but ruthlessly trying to piece together his clusterfuck of scattered evidence across his wall. "Well then, guess we better grill 'em."

And that's how you come into the picture. When Nancy and Jonathan came to seek out Murray. And when they arrive, they're surprised to see you. They recognize you from school. Jonathan took several classes with you. In fact, the two of you got along well at Hawkins High. No, you weren't close. But you both were cool. Nancy, on the other hand, didn't know anything about you. Just that you took political science with Barbara, and got straight A's across the board. You could've been class valedictorian. But you were not looking for any sort of title that demanded pressure or attention. At least not in high school. Career wise? Sure. Not here, though. Not Hawkins. "Your timeline is wrong," Nancy is saying, making you and Bauman freeze.  Nancy is telling you that the girl with the buzzed hair is not Russian. She is, in fact, from Hawkins lab. And her name is...Eleven? So they do know something. And something turns out to be everything.

Jonathan sits you both down to relay everything to you both. And woof, does it give you guys a headache. Strangely, though... it makes a whole lot more sense than some mundane explanation of sorts. Obviously though, that puts you all in a tough spot where you'll all need to put your heads together. So the two classmates of yours stay, sharing in chilled Smirnoff and having to endure the hilarity that ensues between you and your uncle. You and Murray both banter well with the two of them. Jonathan finds you to be hilarious. Nancy finds you intimidating. Very intimidating. You’re quick witted, darkly humored and independent. But there is a reserved, mysterious sort of feminine energy to you, despite your more masculine strengths and bluntness. Over glasses of stiff vodka, you all come to the conclusion on how to go about exposing the truth about Barbara Holland's disappearance: water it down.

At the end of the night, you're all winding down -- you and your uncle having convinced the two lovebirds to stay. But when you're telling them they can take your uncle's guest room while you take the couch, Jonathan's asking if he can take the couch. You blink. Huh? ...surely Nancy is not still with --

"Okay, I'm confused," your uncle's saying. "What's going on here? Lovers quarrel?"

You cock an eyebrow, leaning back into the loveseat.

But Jonathan and Nancy are then talking over each other with weird, flustered excuses...saying they're just friends.

You and your uncle bust out laughing. And then you're shrinking back in your seat, knowing what's coming: one of your Uncle Murray's lovebird witchdoctor speeches that he barrels into anytime that two delusional people have convinced themselves that they aren't in love. Or at the very least, not into each other. 

Uncle Murray is breaking them down, one at a time. He's reading Jonathan like an angsty teen novel, seeing right through him and his brooding, mysterious energy.  Trust issues, thanks to daddy issues. Yikes, that makes you sip some more drink.

And then he's onto Nancy, saying that she's harder to read. But he manages anyway.  It's the Bauman way.

He's telling her that she's likely like everyone else, "afraid of what would happen if you accepted yourself for you who you really are." He looks at you. "Am I in the right ballpark?"

You nod, swallowing the last drop of vodka in your cup. "That...and afraid of that might happen if she didn't retreat back to the safety of someone familiar."

Nancy looks bewildered. But more than that, she looks caught. 

"Name?" your uncle is prodding, snapping his fingers.  "Name."

You and Jonathan both say it. "Steve."

Uncle Murray's face is priceless. He feigns adoration, putting on a baby voice as he repeats the name. "Dawh. Steve. We like Steve."

"Yes," Nancy laughs nervously.  Eek, you think.

"But we don't love Steve..." Your uncle's words floor Nancy.

And when Nancy's saying something about still being with Steve, insisting that she loves him, you roll your eyes. Even scoffing, getting her attention. Maybe if the vodka weren't in your system, you wouldn't be so bold. But Jonathan's mopey look just gives you more confidence.

"Boom, ladies and gents," you say with a grin. "Second lie of the evening." "The hell was the first one?" Jonathan asks, blinking. "You guys being just friends." You and your uncle say something along the same lines, simultaneously. You both laugh together, clinking glasses. The two not lovebirds just squirm awkwardly in their seats. Finally, you sigh. "Look. You guys don't wanna give up the ghost? Be my guest. I'll happily keep my bed." You stand up, ready to turn in. But not until casting them one last work, pointing a finger. "But if I were you two? I'd cut the bullshit and just share the damn bed." Murray snorts, rising to stand as well. He stretches. "Welllllp. I'm turning in for the night." You begin mounting the stairs, hollering: "Better act fast, kiddos. At least before this poison in my system knocks me out cold. Don't worry, Nancy, I don't snore. So if you do choose me, you're safe." "But that's so lame," Murray adds to that wryly, heading off to his room. You both tell each other goodnight, leaving the two angsty teens to decide their fate. All you know is that Nancy ends up walking out and not coming back, at one point in the night.  Yeah, thought so. Breakfast the next morning is even more hilarious. You and your uncle ask every single question that drips with innuendo that you ever possibly could. And it's worth every fucking minute.

Murray's gonna need to keep that couch cleaned. To your surprise, Murray sends you off with Nancy and Jonathan, but given that you want to go and see it all for yourself you don't mind. You’re basically his little spy.  Most uncles send off their nieces and nephews with some good advice, maybe a packed lunchbox or snacks, and a warm hug. 

Yours, however, sends you off with a full bottle of vodka, a thick wad of cash and some fun sarcastic banter. But he headlocks you in for a hug, and you cackle. He really is a nutcase, and man you can't help but love him. He is so not the parental type. Yet somehow, he's practically raised you. And in your opinion, you're pretty well-prepared for the world. More than most, in Murray's opinion. So off you go with Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Buyers, and they both honestly enjoy your company. It helps them get past their umm...well...awkward new reality. That new reality that comes post-sex, after a long ass time of playing the tip-toe game. The sexual tension between them is hysterical to you. But you keep your thoughts to yourself for now. The vodka did most of the talking for you last night.

When you both arrive at wherever the hell your destination is, it's dark outside. And if you're being honest, it's pretty creepy. You're somewhere near the woods, and as you all walk closer you're beginning to see lights approaching you...along with a handful of shadowed figures. 

Fuck, you literally just got here.

But then, after a tense several moments... Nancy and Jonathan call out to them. You jump, startled at the fact that they do it so confidently. But the name that they call out suddenly makes it all make sense. "STEVE?" "NANCY...?" And that's how you became a crucial part of the most royal pain in the ass, King Steve's, life.

[werewolf-cuddles]

Oh my god, there are people actually fucking stupid enough to believe Lily's excuse that the videos of her talking about writing Stockholm are fakes using AI voices?

Motherfucker, I was literally subscribed to Lily Orchard in 2014. Not only was the story very much online then, she literally talked about it on her blog and in her videos several times. She's scrubbed most of these from her channel now, which is why they only survive through reuploads.

I mean, for fucks sake, she literally published it under her deadname, which was still her legal name at the time.

Anyway, I'm the one who downloaded the Glass of Water video (or at least one of the people who archived it) where she said "I can't do Stockholm, I wrote that one." This was around the time she started scrubbing her channel of any mention of Stockholm, so I pre-emptively archived it.

And before her dumbass defenders try to parrot her fake ass excuse that this is obviously an AI deepfake, take note of the upload date...

I don't recall if AI voice replication was even a thing in 2018, but it certainly wasn't as advanced as it is now, and even now, it's not flawless. This was a real video from October 2014, hence the halloween theme.

Also, jumpscare warning at the end, if you decide to watch it all the way through.

[aozakibeatrice]

Tumblr so high key dumb. These niggas don't know the first thing about how the law works, how economics works, how intersectionality and a bunch of other sociological shit works, how technology works, and yet somehow supposedly much of this white ass site that thinks 100k USD a year ain't that much implying they got all the resources in the world to be smarter than that are a bunch of "formerly gifted kids" or whatever lol. Some of y'all still sound like y'all still in grade school every time y'all open y'all's mouths snickering at the trans girl at school calling her slurs and shit. People on this site be calling it ableism when they get called out for not being able to name most of the countries in africa if any at all as well as other continents like south america. AI discourse and geography quizzes among others truly showing the colours of just how fucking stupid most of the people on this site are, not out of any disability or accessibilty issue but sheer fucking willful ignorance, utter lack of curiosity, and baby level tantrums when anyone calls them out on it.

[starlitiris]

making the phantom troupe ✨ neurodivergent ✨

before getting into this I wanna say that i'm not including Kalluto, Hisoka or Illumi in this and I didn't add Kortopi, Bonolenov or Franklin cause I didn't know what to do for them </3

and! a handful of these neurdivergencies are things I also have, but if any of you have something mentioned here and you feel like I misrepresented the condition/got something wrong, please let me know and correct me!

i'd also love to hear what your guys' neurodivergent/disorder headcanons are for the phantom troupe PLEASE do not be shy

okay enough yapping, here are the headcanons

Nobunaga

ADHD out the ass

Bro can and will zero in on something aggressively and not realize how much time has passed till his stomach growls or someone else gets his attention

Almost ALWAYS forgets what he walked into a room for and sometimes won’t be able to remember for hours

He zones out a lot when Troupe members are trying to explain something to him that he has zero interest in

CHRONIC LEG BOUNCER

And foot tapper

He also does little bouncies when he’s standing around

Please don’t ever give him a pen that clicks

He’ll click it nonstop and won’t even realize he’s doing it until someone brings attention to it

He for sure has his moments where he's feeling extra irritable or anxious for seemingly no reason

Feitan

AUTISM OUT THE ASS

No, I’m not headcanoning this because he’s apathetic

Miss me w that shit

He’s just an apathetic person because of everything he’s been through

Not great at masking but he does mask

HATES being touched do NOT TOUCH HIM ew

Exclusively wears long sleeves. Cannot stand short sleeved shirts, he hates the way it feels on his arms

Misses a lot of emotional social cues and his apathetic nature certainly doesn’t help with that but it’s not like he cares much

The Troupe is used to him being like this so they aren’t too bothered

Thinks he looks fucking stupid when he stims so he tries not to unless he’s completely alone

He will let loose a LIIITTLE when he’s alone with just Phinks though since those two are pretty close but he still tries to make his stimming as non-obvious as possible

It also helps for him to stim with his hands in his pockets

He often taps his thumb and index finger together or rubs his knuckles

REALLY hates feeling cold and can't stand the sticky feeling of dried blood on his skin

Despite this, he rarely wears gloves when he's "working" simply because he no no wanna

Phinks HAS called him out on this. A few times.

Machi

Dyslexic

Hates it

So much

Seriously doesn’t understand why she can’t just fucking READ and SPELL as easily as everyone else

Like she KNOWS how to read and spell so like???? WHY does she even struggle with it it should be such an easy thing to do

That’s how she thinks

She gets embarrassed when people catch her struggling to read or spell something

It makes her feel dumb and she hates it :[

Thank god for ai assistants like siri and shit

She definitely uses them to ask how to spell things when no one else is around and she can’t remember

Gets kinda pissed at herself when she realizes way too late that she made a typo on something

Phinks

Prosopagnosia (face blindness) and aphantasia (when you can’t form mental images in your head)

Thought his aphantasia was completely normal for THE LONGEST time

He almost didn’t believe it when other Troupe members were telling him that they could clearly form mental images in their heads

It was a huge “what the fuck” moment for him

The amount of times he’s heard the phrase “you don’t remember me?” just cause he couldn’t recognize someone by their face alone

Of course he’s still able to recognize people from their voices, clothes, hair, body shapes, etc

But when it comes to people he doesn’t see often, he’s completely lost until he’s told the person’s name and where they met and shit

He’s offended quite a few people by not recognizing them

They assume he couldn’t be bothered to remember them but in reality he probably would if he could remember faces

Shalnark

He has bipolar 1

His mania doesn’t get too crazy but it’s noticeable for the Troupe and any other people that he spends a lot of time with

His highs tend to be more intense than his lows but he definitely still has his lows

And the lows are also noticeable

He gets bags under his eyes from having a difficult time falling asleep and STAYING asleep, and he has a very clear decrease in energy

Sometimes Troupe members feel the need to ask him if he’s feeling alright but he always answers with “yeah I’m fine!” and moves on

The amount of shit he's bought on impulse though

He's good at managing his finances until he's manic and sees something he wants

Bro won't look at price tags

"Ehh I'm sure it'll be fine!" two days later he's in the red and goes complaining to Troupe members about it as if he shouldn't have expected that

It's probably a good thing that his role in the Troupe is more centered around gathering information and not combat

I know damn well he'd get too cocky in a fight depending on wtf his brain chemistry is doing

Shizuku

Do i even need to say it

Bitch (respectfully) is autistic as hell

With some good ol’ ADD sprinkled in there

Her attention span suffers greatly

She can pick up a book or a manga and not put it down to eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom until she finishes it or is forced to put it down

She knows it’s a problem and she really does try to remember to take breaks

Very blunt as we all know

Feitan will struggle to pick up on sarcasm SOMETIMES and uses sarcasm himself

This is not the same for Shizuku

Sarcasm does not register in her brain

She tried using sarcasm once and didn’t do it right so she gave up

She does try to mask a little bit in some situations but mostly doesn’t care enough to

Doesn’t mind stimming in front of people as much as Feitan does but she still does it a lot more in private

Pakunoda

Bipolar 2

Her depressive episodes feel longer than they are

She’s gotten a lot better at managing it as she’s gotten older though

She likes to journal her feelings when she can, it personally helps her process and deal with her emotions

She also writes reminders for herself and sets alarms so she doesn’t forget to take care of herself when she’s not feeling too well

Makes sure to praise herself for small victories! :)

She still has her days where she can’t bring herself to do some things, though days like those are less common now than they used to be

Her appetite definitely suffers because her depression, but the reminders and alarms she sets help her remember to eat, even if it has to be something small

She makes sure to get some self care in when she can, too. It's important to her

Uvogin

I hereby bestow thee with dyscalculia and OCD

Being anal about doing things at specific times is only a tiny sliver of his OCD-ness

Sometimes he’ll read the time on a clock wrong and he’ll panic for like 0.2 seconds

It fuckin stresses him out man

Sometimes he’ll tease Machi for having a hard time reading or forgetting how to spell/write a word and she’ll hit him with the “ok what’s 12 x 12 🧍”

Shuts him up real quick

He can count, add, subtract, multiply and divide but it still takes him a minute sometimes

He’ll just give up if he has to do math with fractions, decimals, numbers longer than three digits and any other complicated bullshit

He kinda gave up learning math when it started to literally give him headaches trying to figure it out so simple division and multiplication is as far as he cared to learn

If he’s faced with any math equation that intimidates him he will not even try

He just uses his phone or asks someone else to solve it for him

Okay back on the topic of OCD

He definitely has his repetitive movements that he does

They aren’t too obvious but the rest of the Troupe does notice them from time to time

Nobunaga said something about it one time and Uvo just brushed it off and changed the subject

He doesn’t like bringing attention to it

He also WILL recount and reread things multiple times

Most of the time he’ll only need to recount/reread something like 3-5 times but on bad days he’ll do it 10+ times

It is stressful

Phinks saw him recounting something like 13 times once and was like “bro u good?” and Uvo just snapped at him for fucking up his count

Chrollo

Autism and major depressive disorder

Masking KING (this is not a good thing)

Very touch avoidant like Feitan

He knows he struggles with some social cues and interactions and will sometimes overthink what he’s doing to avoid missing things or doing things wrong

He’s often hyper aware of what he’s doing and what the person he’s talking to is doing

One of his most common ways to stim is by rubbing things - like the corners of pages in his books, or the ends of his sleeves

Loathes being in loud areas. Please why is everyone talking so loud shut the fuck up Chrollo can’t hear himself think

There’s been times where he had to be in loud and bustling places for extended periods of time and once he was alone and in a quiet place he’d feel so so very drained and be nonverbal for hours

Really bad insomnia probably related to his MDD

Lays in bed for HOURSSSS unable to fall asleep

The amount of times he’s had to run on 2-3 hours of sleep is unreal

Listening to calm music and whale noises seems to help him fall asleep a little bit though

Don’t get me wrong he has good days, he’s not completely miserable, but MAN is this guy depressed

On bad days he’ll likely only have one meal or not eat at all

Phantom Troupe be damned if they notice he hasn’t eaten all day

Chrollo will insist he’s fine but some Troupe members aren’t having it

Sometimes someone like Paku or Shal will just go out and get him some food and place it in front of or next to him expectantly

Usually he’ll give up and eat the food

Unless he’s in a bad mood

I will say though, most days he eats at least two meals so it’s not like this is a super common occurrence

[tiredcatboysinc]

Insert Car Seat Headrest lyric that relates to problems with intimacy and people.

Shrugs, KinitoPet/reader because I wanted to express my issues with intimacy or something. -Pesticide🐞

ao3

You know, it’s really fun being a depressed senior in high school. It’s especially fun when you only have one friend, that friend being a fucking sentient and obsessive computer buddy who I’m pretty sure is a fucking virus…Don’t even ask how I managed to download a borderline virus onto my laptop, I couldn’t tell you to be honest. It kind of just… happened, you know? When you’re on the internet for over 8 years this shit happens, and it happens a fuckton; believe me. 

So now I sat, the permanent frown ever etched into my face as I doom scroll through Twitter. Twitter? X? Who cares, it doesn't matter. I’d much rather doom scroll on Tumblr, but I did that too much and I’ve basically seen everything for the next few hours. The band of my choice blasted through my headphones, Car Seat Headrest; much to before mentioned ‘computer buddy’s dismay.

Oh, I didn’t tell you his name, did I? KinitoPET, or Kinito as he liked to be called. He? It?... I’ll go with him for now, Kinito seemed to be okay with those pronounce… Ha, pronounce… Pink gills and pronounce… A chuckle escaped me at that thought, which of course caught the attention of Kinito. The little axolotl's head perked up, his small, beady eyes staring into my soul. Fuck, that was unnerving… “What are you laughing at, Friend?” He questioned, the text-to-speech voice ringing loudly as it sliced through the music. I winced at that, flinching at how loud Kinito had set his volume to.

Kinito had full system access to my laptop, a dumb decision on my part probably. If he wanted to could destroy everything, wiping the hard drive and all of the system functions. Though he chose not to, I think he understood that would kiss him in a way; which meant he would never see me again. God, what I wouldn’t give for that… But, in a way, I guess it would be a little sad. 

Kinito was my friend, my only friend. He had been there, for better and for worse. Never had Kinito laughed at me, nor was he overly harsh or critical of the things I loved. So, In a way, I suppose, I liked Kinito. At least I had grown to like him, maybe grown more than toleration. Eugh, even thinking that made me shiver…  Fuck, he’s still staring at me, isn’t he?

“Hm? Oh, nothing. Just thought of a stupid meme..” I murmured in a harsh tone, my voice hoarse and scratchy. Of course, Kinito wanted to know more. He always did, it was his nature; he was AI, even if he was sentient. A hum of curiosity left the digital buddy, pixelated and piercing. The sound made me grunt with irritation, the sound forcing me to yank an earbud out. God forbid I got fucking tinnitus from this little shit, if anything, I’d much rather get it from an airplane jet… Hell, anything really. 

Kinito noticed my reaction, and he was quick to manage his volume; which I was thankful for. “Ah, I apologize, Friend. I wasn’t aware I was so loud!” He chuckled apolitically, his disembodied, white-gloved hands rubbing together nervously. A sigh left me, my hand waving dismissively. There wasn’t any point in getting upset… even if his voice at such a high volume gave me a headache. “It’s fine… Not like you busted my eardrum or some shit.” I quipped sarcastically, a scoff of a chuckle leaving my grinning lips.

 Slowly, Kinito’s eyes narrowed as he turned his gaze back to me. Ah shit, here we go… I knew where this was going, I could feel the storm brewing in the pit of my stomach. Kinito was about to rant, and he was about to rant hard and long. 

The words started to flow from his nonexistent mouth, Kinito’s hand flying across the screen in front of himself. He rambled and ranted, going on about how snarky I was; and how I was “such a little menace” to quote him directly. I only half-assed paid attention, not really listening to the words that left the axolotl computer buddy. My focus was on something else, the way he moved his hands. 

Kinito wildly swung his hands, all of his movements violent yet skillful; as if he knew exactly where his hand was going to go before it went there. Honestly, he probably did know that. You know, being an AI and all that good stuff. Still, it fascinated me; my gaze following his gloved hands every movement. Of course, I pretend to listen. I hummed with faux agreement and nodded to his words; all of them going in one ear and out the other. 

I wonder… I wonder what his hands feel like. Were his gloves warm, or cold? Soft or rough?... If he held my hand would he interlace our fingers? 

Okay, pause, stop the thought train. What the fuck am I thinking right now?? My cheeks are warm, and my heart is beating out of my chest with just the thought of holding his damn hand??? Hell, am I really that touch starved… Probably. 

I advert my gaze from Kinito, my cheeks now flushing a soft red; the embarrassment of my own thoughts, thoughts he didn’t even know I was thinking, pooling in my gut. My heart races faster than a teenager with anxiety trying Delta 8 for the first time, and if you don’t understand that: it’s basically going at supersonic speed. 

Kinito continued to rant for half a second, his words starting to trail off when his eyes met my face. He took notice of my burning cheeks, his head tilting with confusion. “...Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry, Friend, I did not intend to upset you!! Please tell me what I said, I promise to-”  I stopped him in his tracks, tapping my trackpad softly while my cursor hovered over his head. The cursor made a soft click, the motion being akin to a makeshift pat or bonk. “Shut up, you didn’t do anything.” I stated bluntly, though I still refused to turn my gaze back to my screen. 

Augh, fuck, why did this stupid little computer buddy have to draw these thoughts ? These emotions ? Things I’ve never felt for any living, breathing, human ??? It didn’t make sense, it shouldn’t make sense. None of it was logical… but then again, I was never a logical person to begin with. 

Maybe this was some fucking plot, some scheme that a higher power was playing on me. They’d planned for me to download this little sentient AI, and they had made me fall in love with it; all for shits and giggles. And who was I to say no to such a perfectly crafted friend, lover even?... I wasn’t. If some… fucking little menace of a higher will, god, power, deity, whatever be it, wanted me to kiss this dumb AI then I would; I would find a way to. 

I had come to love Kinito, even if I wanted to strangle him at times. 

Finally, I turned to Kinito. My face was red, embarrassment showing in every pour of my cheeks. “...You’re such a little shit, and I love you.” The words came out quietly, just above a whisper. It was weird, an odd sensation to say the words “I love you” so… willingly. And apparently, it was odd for Kinito to hear me say those words as well. His eyes widened, and several times he blinked as if he hadn’t heard me correctly. 

A hue of red spread over his cheeks, Kinito’s eyes crinkling as a nonexistent smile crept onto his face. “I love you as well, Friend.” He spoke softly, happily, voice full of love, warmness, and contentment. 

I knew Kinito would never let me live it down, and I knew it was risky; it was vulnerable. Still, I did it anyway. I smiled, a small smile. 

Kinto was my friend, and I loved him. And maybe, one day, I’d get to find out how he’d hold my hand if I was lucky enough.

[bandaidpennylane]

Who the hell does this raging lunatic think she is? Does she think she owns Pamela Courson? That she is the only one who has a right to post her? Get outta here! What is it about people writing books about Pam that makes them go fucking bonkers? First Patricia Butler. That one wrote Angels Dance Angels Die. Now we have this unhinged lunatic, who named her spider Pamela. Should we be so surprised? ���‍♀️

There's a reason why your Facebook page is a flop. 4 thousand followers after 15-20 years of "research." 🤭 You should have never abandoned your Tumblr page. 🤷‍♀️ It was a bit more successful with followers. But seriously lady, being an unhinged lunatic for 20 years doesn't help your reputation. How's that book going? Still can't get any publisher to publish it huh. 🤭 People don't like you Raeanne. This goes way back to the years on the Lizard Lounge where you attacked everyone. You were as crazy then as you are now. The only reason you have 4,000 Facebook followers is because people are interested in the photos you post. They don't follow you because they like you. In actuality, your followers despise you. Even the people who kiss your ass. If only you knew what they say behind your back.🤭 It shouldn't come to you as a surprise. You caused the divide and hatred. Your vitriol over the years has damaged Pamela's memory. You hold pictures hostage. You tag pictures you don't own. But you paid $900 for them! Of course you own them! That's not how it works and you know that's not how it works! You buy prints. Not the ownership of those photos! I could buy those same photos for $400-$900. The difference is I wouldn't tag them like you do because I'm not an asshole like you. The way you use to tag the Themis photos was gross. You absolute lunatic. Then you have a fit when people point out your behavior! 20 years! 20 fucking years Raeanne! Waaaah! I'm mad! You post my photos! Waaah you post ugly photoshops! Waaaah! I'm going to close my page! 🙄 Please do. Close it. Once and for all just close it. If it brings you peace of mind, just fucking close it. The way you rage about photoshopped photos of Pam but you posted a whole ass ridiculous set of AI images of her. 🤔 Guess what that makes you? A hypocrite with zero AI skills. 🤷‍♀️ I doubt you will close your page permanently. You love the ass kissing too much to quit it, even if it's coming from people who despise you. This is like the 10th time you quit. 🤭 But seriously lady, get some real help. Stop raging online and attacking other Pam fans. Do you know how pathetic you come across? 20 years of this vitriolic behavior. Close your page and self publish that stupid book of yours. Enough is enough!

A humorous and ironic update. Raeanne replied to a follower who basically called her out for her shitty AI Pam pictures. 😁🤌

It looks like Raeanne deleted some of Melissa's comments leaving just this one. I don't know who you are Melissa Owens but thank you. The hypocrisy and unhinged audacity coming from this bitch. Thank you!

It's been 48 hours and this bitch hasn't deleted her page. Of course she hasn't. 🥱

Yet another update! It gets more and more ridiculously entitled the more she speaks out. We are brats for posting photos of Pam!!! How dare other writers don't credit them!!!! They are ripping them off! How dare them!!! We are an epidemic of entitled brats!!! 😁🤭😄

Go fuck yourself Raeanne. You been eating out of your own ass for far too long. You have crossed every line of decency. Get help you crazy bitch! 🫣

[kairiscorner]

reader creating silly miguel emojis and sending them tk the spider society gc for everyone to use bc shes a fun gal ;p (and she likes annoying him too)

fr. (did i legit make a whole ass dc server for this? yes.) sorry i didn't change my display name to y/n, i got lazy 😭😭😭 also written ver with additional scenes under the cut !!

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

shitting on miggy cutely. 🫶— miguel o'hara x reader

✧ written version !! ✧

after lyla had signed miguel up for a discord account, much to his frustration, you immediately got a hold of his username (which was really generic, he named himself: 'miguelohara' at first, but lyla changed it up to: 'migolohellnawh') and added him to the spider society's discord server. you made a channel that was dedicated to showing miguel all the stickers and emojis you and the society had made that was just full of memes of miguel. thanks to earth-928's social media, you were all fed with silly stickers and emojis of him for days; you all had a spam channel where hobie and pav would have contests to see whose thumbs could spam more miguel shitpost memes, but that would be a story for another day.

as miguel got notified that he was added to a server, the first thing that caught his eye was the vulgarly named channel of the server: "shitting on miggy". he brought his eyebrows together and tapped on the bold text of the channel's name. he asked what that channel was for, pointing out the name in a disappointed manner as he typed. lyla giggled under her breath as she watched miguel try to act intimidating and angry over text, but his scrunched up face crinkled even more as he saw that the first thing you sent him was a sticker of his stern, stoic face that had the words: "this ugly son of a bitch is fucking super hot chicks and basically you are fucking stupid. how? ...just watch the free video."

miguel had clicked the sticker, and he saw the file name: "singlehotmominyourarea". he huffed as he texted you, asking you what that was that you sent, because he thought it was an actual link to something. he took his reading glasses and, when he could make out what it said, he got angrier than he already was earlier. he told you what you sent was not at all funny, and when you replied that—no, it certainly wasn't... it was very hysterical, though—you sent him a very pink and cutesy sticker of him with cat ears. miguel groaned as lyla took a hundred screenshots remotely from his phone. "where are you even getting these?" he asked you as you kept sending him more shitpost stickers.

"but i don't even like horses." miguel muttered as he saw the "save a horse, ride a cowboy" sticker you sent. "yeah, you're scared of them." lyla reminded him as he rolled his eyes. "no need to remind me." he said as he typed out that he 'hated' (didn't fear, there's a difference, and that is that miguel is fucking lying, he is scared of horses) horses. but of course, you knew his secret, and miguel pounded his fist against the arm of his computer chair. "are you seriously telling them on your end?" he asked lyla as she stuck her tongue out and shrugged, looking all smug as miguel grumbled and told you that he didn't ask for your correction, only for you to send an emoji of your favorite girl dinner: his five course meal ass on display.

"yeah, you need ass correction 'bee cee' this bakery is packed; what...?" he read aloud as lyla groaned. "get with the times, old man." "we don't say stuff like that in 2099 anymore, don't tell me to get with the times." he told his AI assistant as he looked through the emoji catalogue you guys had, and among them all, a colorful one stood out to him and he sent it—hoping you could tell him what was on the emoji, but knowing you, you'd of course mess with him again. you told him the emoji, which was promptly named: "doublecheekedup", meant the very sticker you sent him in response. it was similar to the cat-eared one, but it read: "i <3 my girlfriend", with miguel's angry face in the heart.

miguel looked at it all confused and pulled his reading glasses away from his face and back on to see if he was reading this right. he asked you if he was supposed to be flattered about your sticker, with him immediately following up with his honest opinion; that it was irritating instead of flattering to him. you told him the sticker was more 'sexy' than it was irritating or flattering, and you soon sent him another sticker, where he was diving face first with his legs spread and bottom out. miguel looked at it all baffled and flustered, where were you getting these photos...?

you asked him who he was spreading for, asking if it was you, while sending him an emoji with his back turned to the camera and his ginormous bottom in full view. miguel couldn't make out the text in the emoji and told you the text was too minute for him to read it. he also cleared up that he wasn't intentionally spreading his cheeks for anyone, he had just 'stumbled'. "sure ya did." lyla said as she appeared over miguel's shoulder with a smug grin on her face. "i really didn't, though." miguel said as lyla nodded slowly, her smug grin not leaving her face as miguel saw your next message. "because you wanted to spread your asscheeks for me, i didn't spread for anybody!" he screamed aloud in the confines of his office, pounding his fist on the arm of his computer chair as you sent the girl dinner emoji that was the very profile picture of the spider society's discord server.

miguel was heated in the face and heaving... oh, was there some unspoken feelings he was hiding about your little provocative words? maybe... he might sound like he wants out of the server immediately, but deep in his heart, he'd stay; even if you'd annoy the shit out of him with those damned emojis and stickers. they were irritating, yes, and maybe just the tiniest bit flattering in a twisted way for him. "wow, you're a masochist." lyla pointed out as miguel mumbled for her to shut up, but she was right as always.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @ophanimgold @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok

[reginaldqueribundus]

honestly? I see no need to hate on skibidi toilet. who cares if the kids are into a bunch of SFM YouTube videos about an army of anthropomorphic security cameras having silly TF2 kaiju battles with a bunch of evil toilets with singing human heads sticking out of them? it's not that much weirder than the shit we were into when we were younger — a clone of Abraham Lincoln attending high school with clones of Gandhi and JFK? a bunch of pastel-coloured teddy bears shooting rainbows at the devil? an alcoholic scientist who makes his grandson shove coconuts up his ass and hangs out with a guy named "Mister Poopy Butthole"? a fucking talking sponge who lives in a pineapple on the ocean floor and works in a fast-food restaurant??

and the whole series is produced by one guy from Georgia, there's like 90 episodes and no dialogue. I think that's kind of neat. better than the kids consuming AI-generated slop sold by billionaires. everything that kids are into can seem really stupid and weird to the rest of us, but. honestly. let the kids enjoy their silly toilet wars.

[electronicironic]

quid pro quo my friend you must explain one of your oc groups to me

shriek. you daare squid pro quo ME. you don't even know that I HAVE oc groups actually who am I kidding. beans you over the head with these funny bastards. afterwards its your turn though

HUMAN RESOURCES DISPATCH AGENTS TEAM: Scrap Havoc (not sure if that's the team name or the story name) has a population of five (who only have code names because I haven't gotten around to real names. Team leader is Corleone and she orders around a squadron composed of Redbelly, Crispie, Cinnabar(&Mercury) and Shinjii.

Redbelly, joined the team as a pal of Corleone's and a solid worker is named after piranhas because that's her job. She has holdover magic powers from a system migration that gives her dope ass blood magic that's mostly used to heal real fast but you can also make pointy constructs out of blood and also she has a Special Unique blood dude ability, Devour, that she shares with her favorite shotgun. Devour is basically a blast shaped beam attack that annihilates matter and directly translates destroyed organic matter into more fuel for the Infinite Blood Healing.

Shinjii is Redbelly's fucked up and weird little nephew. He's in Redbelly's house and also business because he's the survivor of a Concerningly Redacted Sci Fi event that saw any family members with more respectable employment Deleted. He's also short enough to mention and kinda babyfaced which makes it odd for him to be doing Sci-Fi Adventure Bullshit, but Shinjii is also a fucked up little savant at the job. He's clever, small and fast and hard to keep track of, deadpan rude in a way that's GREAT for bantz, and best of all almost everyone else in the team can throw him if they need him through a high up window. He also may or may not be an inspecifically prescient were-dragon depending on the previously mentioned magic system migration. Either way it's a bit of an Image to put him (short, subtly and tastefully schemeful and unsettling) next to his auntie (tall, covered in blood, and very gregarious and boisterous.)

Cinnabar is an old friend from when she are Corleone were kids. She was SUPPOSED to be a cool and suave sharply dressed Corporate Agent you know the type of shit you see as bad guys in cheap cyberpunk-the-game stuff. She's great at things like infiltration, espionage, not being as horrifically crass as some of her teammates, and managing the paperwork that Sci Fi Adventure Bullshit probably causes. Her corporate base did get super duper blown up in the middle of corporate war. Cinnabar got not-exploded by breaking the glass on some Super Secret Corporate Bullshit and hitting the road with it and by it I mean Mercury. Mercury is a nanomachine grey goo with all the abilities a secret corporate grey goo project would probably have. It spends most of its time on Cinnabar's shoulder like a really fancy scarf and has all the brainpower of a really stupid smart dog. As a refined, dignified corporate agent she can appreciate fine art, such as Redbelly after a thirty minute street brawl.

Crispie is the team's funny operator robots guy and also the most honest character design here in that he's a guy who Maximizes his Gamer Skills by doing as much computer bullshit as humanely possible simultaneously. As the penultimate manifestation of such l33t g4m3r ski11z, Crispie can split his attention between his actual body and ludicrous amounts of drones and bots and hacker bullshit at any moment, to the point that he considers the entire network as part of his body more than his meat body alone. Despite such freakish computing power, Crispie has to put significant effort into preventing Shinjii and Cinnabar from sniping the shit outta him in most games. This universe is one energy-drink heart attack from the first true strong AI being made by accident by a dweeb who likes FOV drone racing.

You may think to yourself, what secret sauce does Corleone have to be the wise, respected, and even occasionally listened-to leader of this conference of freaks. Well for starters Corleone is a 6 foot something butch lesbian with a CDL and a set of sci-fi turbocarabiners. She also builds and mechanics dope-ass power rigs, the kind of shit that looks like wearing forklifts (and also she works on trucks because truck is still a concept even in the beautiful far future.) Leo also has a natural sense of wisdom, down-to-earth-ness, and capability for rough-housing that really contributes to the chill and love-and-friendshipful environment of this gang of Commits Tremendous Violence For Money And Advancement Opportunities Out Of The Back Of Corleone's Shop.

These guys kind of kick it inspecifically in a sci-fantastika setting that I gnaw on sometimes. Occasionally I lob these guys at funny hypothetical situations, or perhaps interactions with other characters in the setting like "1/4 of Satan" and "Capital A Alchemist who specializes in party drugs."

[autumn-foxfire]

I'm already missing the fillers T-T I mean the canon is Kogoro saying he was glad he didn't have to look after a sick kid. This man is a father and has been resposible for raising this child for a while now, show some goddamn concern.

AND WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT. SHINICHI'S DUMB DECISION HAS COME BACK TO BITE HIM ON THE ASS.

Gosho: If I have the school trip have consequences, the audience won't find it a stupid decision right? And be happy that it's moving the plot forward?

The audience: No. We still think you're stupid.

Shinichi, you shouldn't be so happy that you're so good at tricking your "girlfriend". The one you're supposed to love and trust. I can't believe you're actually dating her while you're lying to her face. You have absolutely no respect for her and I find it gross how everyone supports your relationship when they shouldn't.

Ai, I'm sorry, but you have no right to panic. You let this happen.

Shinichi deserves to panic for being stupid.

Hell, the whole school knows your "alive" and that your "dating" Ran too, so you're just putting her in more and more danger. All it takes is for someone to ask and the beans to be spilled and she's going to be taken captive so they can find the truth and then killed. How weird, when you said lying to her is just to protect her when this is doing the opposite. If you really wanted to protect her, you'd actually fake your death.

Are we also dealing with an insane stalker for the Kudo family. Why is he surprised. They're all celebrities, of course they have insane fans.

I would say it's ooc for Ai to not be as focused on the fact that their secret is in danger but Shinichi deserves to be the one suffering for his mistakes too.

...Shinichi, you literally listened to the conversation Kazuha had with Heiji where she said she could see you on TV.

Heiji, you can't call him a moron when YOU HELPED HIM WITH THE PLAN.

This plot is so stupid T-T Someone help me. How is Gosho so dumb? Does he not have editors? Are his editors stupid too? I assume they are.

And now the school is being surrounded. Just because Ran won't say anything if Shinichi asks because she's a pushover, that doesn't mean the others won't. They don't know the danger Shinichi is in so why would they? Just because he asks? Since when do teenagers do as they ask.

I can't even find Ai's annoyance at Shinichi funny, because this is a serious situation that isn't being treated as such by them. Ai should, frankly, be terrified.

...Shinichi could be onto something here. I mean, have you seen all the lookalikes he has. And now his father does have a brother (though they actually don't look alike funnily enough).

So Shinichi makes jokes to not panic. This is the only interesting part of these episodes.

Shinichi, you should be terrified a man without an eye who could be Rum is investigating you.

How suprising. Yuusaku and Yukiko are actually doing something for their son. At least they're doing something instead of panicking, but not appropriately for their situation.

...You know she could have just said she lied? Or had bad sources who lied to her if she wanted to keep her credibility? Using her saying it was an hallucination is just insulting.

And of course a girl who has been gaslit by Shinichi so much would actually DOUBT he was there herself. That isn't cute. That is actually horrifying that Shinichi has made her doubt herself so much that she questioned it herself.

Fuck. Ran deserves so much better.

The fact that Shinichi didn't even think to contact his parents for help also speaks volumes how little he actually relies on them or thinks he can.

It's too late to parent him, Yukiko.

I'm putting them solving the code to Akai. Yuusaku didn't need to be in the discussion at all about them figuring out the boss' name.

What writing does Gosho think this is? Oh now Yuusaku and Yukiko care enough about their son to help and he's brought him the name of the boss out of nowhere when Shinichi and Akai could have just discussed it instead.

His writing is so bad T-T Someone save his plot for me.

[sokumotanaka]

I've seen endless takes on the "Who should be possessed by Ozma?" Discussion but personally if I'm being honest, besides kinda pointing them in the right directions what does he offer the story besides more character bloat? I've already made the argument that Jaune/Ren/Nora+ Maria aren't needed past volume 6 (Maria barely even teaches her anything besides 'life is precious') which she learned after seeing Pyrrha evaporated.

Personally I think the easiest way to deal with the Ozma compass that exist to tell them to take the relics and gather them all in one place is two ways on just him possessing a brown kid. Oh I'm sorry "reincarnating"

Actual reincarnation with a cavity

Archive Ozpin

Hear me out on these.

Number 1 is long and detailed so we're gonna get 2 out of the way and move on to imo the more interesting one.

Number 2. Is that when Ozpin is about to die maybe say he has a device in his office he presses while Cinder's about to stab him in the chest, Cinder would ask him what he did, thinking it's a bomb or a way to contact someone but what Ozpin did as upload a whole archive of plans, directions and information on Salem from decades of his life- (You could even make it an AI ozpin that would just do things without the input of the cast, making him seem like more of a shady ass.)

Onto the nearest scroll aligned with his school, in a better world this would also be a better written Pyrrha that we would care about so when she dies in the fight, we see Ozpin's archive loaded into her scroll. Ozpin would smile and die, the rest of the buck as been passed down to the 'invincible girl' While Ozpin would reincarnate into a child somewhere that would be useless to the story so this is fine. Fast forwards to Ruby, she looses her scroll in the fall, maybe while dangling from that airship. And when Qrow finds her assumes Pyrrha's scroll is hers, AI oz would unlock it for her as well.

Now here's a double whammy of pain because we can also get tons of messages, recordings, video diaries from Pyrrha that can talk about team RWBY and her team and family etc. Adding on a layer of heartbreak for the characters- and a layer of mistrust as AI Oz might even had fabricated some of those messages to force the cast on, to spur them on. And no matter if they ditch the scroll, he hacks his way onto the whole crew's a "necessary evil" he'd call it. Then not of value is lost in this rendition. Bonus points if he finds a body in Atlas and starts throwing things into motion himself, things that are kinda shitty- AI oz isn't exactly Oz himself but also understands the danger of Salem and will do whatever it takes to stop her.

That I believe is better than making Oscar Ozpin and WAY better than making someone like Jaune possessed by him, like the side character needs more importance.

Now back to number 1. Ozpin can reincarnate but with a special god related caveat- part of me see why Miles despite not knowing what the hell reincarnation actually is, why they went with possession and called it that....because they're stupid. But also, babies...take a while to age, and bringing one on a journey would probably rightfully not fly well with many people.

So my solution would be that we'd...get an Ozpin special, Ozpin would be reborn in a kid named Oscar, a family of faunus farmers (I'm passionate about this considering the last time M/K made him a dark skinned POC, a real black person, he was an alcoholic! Fuck off, then later in life we'd learn they ran out their only black employee too, these racist assholes should never write again!) Anyway; Ozpin has never had a say on faunus racism and has been alive longer than the faunus existed- and frankly has ignored the suffering they've went through. So putting him in the faunus's shoes could help him see this perspective and close alot of doors they'll have to think around.

I love the idea of Ozpin trying to access his wealth, status, etc that could solve problems instantly and having to now plan around his privileged because it's now out of reach and unavailable to him. But yeah back to it- My Caveat also adds to Ozpin's person-hood and the world itself: Ozpin would be born as this farm boy possum faunus, that would as soon as he's born, have all this knowledge, muscle memory and so on from his past life, and we'd see this family watching him grow, they had him a week and he's flipping and catching falling things like a ninja, two weeks and he's 10 already and is training in the yard, and finally he stops at a young 26- the gods made it so that he'd age to peek condition within a month.

And while the mother is confused, she still loves her son, the father on the other hand thinks he's a demon, something must be wrong with him, wants him gone. And Ozpin agrees, he thanks them and leaves, and the mother is saddened by the loss- secretly so is the father- he just is trying to protect his wife. He still looks as Ozpin ans sees his wife's smile, her eyes, the little mannerisms, he still helped raise young Oscar. But he's confused and scared; And the wife misses her son, the person she loves with all her heart her family. "You'll always have a home here! Please, I don't know why you have to leave but come back soon!"

Ozpin realizes this at this moment: Despite being constantly reborn, that these people care about this body, even his body is fighting back tears, he doesn't know why. And as the volumes would go on; we'd see Ozpin write them as he stays in one or another location- and now you care about Ozpin/Oscar because someone else cares as well. And yes he'd help unlock Jaune's stupid power, and teach Ruby some minor abilities with sliver eyes and point her towards Maria (Maria will not just pop up out of nowhere like in canon where she looked back at ruby like she knew but didn't and just....was the only passenger to follow and stay at the back of the train...) She's an active member of the plot that Ozpin knows.

But that's what I'd do if I had to change the Ozpin/Oscar bs. If you got through the whole thing, thanks for reading this BS, and lemme know your thought in the comment below.