#but mgs has its moments

[st-hedge]

Step 1: play mgs2 and have a laugh at how silly it is. Step 2: get struck weeks later with how sad that story was

[sholmeser]

ary scheffer / justus knetch / snake & ocelot

[volumniafox]

God can't the infection clear already

[armed-saphire]

i love when theres a post thats like "this is the best something something in all of gaming" and its not metal gear like i am genuinely relieved when its not metal gear

[rohan-kishibes-grindr-account]

2 hours into metal gear solid and we already got what i’m picking up on as two gaycoded minor villains and a “…you and i- we are one in the same aren’t we?” type speech all within 30 minutes from each other- damn videogames from 90’s-early 2000’s huh…

[thedogsleg]

Do NOT stay up to 2:30 playing domonios in rdr2 youll end up shaky and scared and freaking out im losing it right now what the fuuuuckkkk

[cu7ie]

𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐝. | kaveh, al haitham

˚✦ ៸៸ ₊˚ cw: HARD NON-CON. fear, manhandling. no penetrative sex. oral (pussy-licking). hybrid!kaveh and al haitham. my first time writing for GI. yandere themes. trusting reader. reader has a vagina. reader is referred to as an 'it' (by Al Haitham) and 'they' (Kaveh). forgive me for ooc-ness. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

˚✦ ៸៸ ₊˚ an: @187-mg i told you about this and i was just like fuck it let me uhhh write it first! listen at first this was a fun horny moment then i got too analytical i need critique 💀 i kinda love it though

You happen upon these wolves, who don't seem interested in you at first pass. You're just a passerby looking to spend time with your grandma, a little ways off in the woods, nothing terribly interesting to the likes of them,

but then they start trailing slowly behind

asking more questions (Kaveh), demanding answers (Al Haitham).

They are talking among themselves in whispers you can t discern, too busy making sure the soup inside your basket doesn't spill and that mud doesn't clump up on your nice shoes !

It's getting dark quicker than you thought it would though. 

And you don't think you're anywhere near your grandmother's house (Kaveh, so gracious to offer help with directions) and when you think to call their names, you turn around and

You see the moonlight reflected in their eyes. They look solid. Alhaitham has extended to his full height, and only in the absence of light does it feel ominous. 

Kaveh's warm smile has faded away in the dark, but you can see the glint of Al Haitham's fangs and -

What's going on? The wind howls faintly and you clam up all the sudden, sweaty palms clasping tightly on your wicker basket as your boot squishes in mud.

"Ah… Well, thank- uh- thank you sirs. I think I can find my own way… now." And you immediately dart off into the woods. Your basket clinks a little noisily, and you're already impossible to miss because whatever's in there smells so good.

Not as good as you though, Al Haitham is sure to point out to Kaveh, so maybe that's why when you dart off, Al Haitham is already at your heels.

Kaveh was trying to tell him to be patient. Humans are afraid of things like thunder, sudden snapping twigs, so he can just imagine your reaction to hulking behemoths such as them, able to break you with the flick of a wrist-

"But that's what we're going to do. Break them. So I don't see why we should pretend we won't." Kaveh's ears flattened against his head and he didn't speak on it further, watching Alhaitham size you up in anticipation of your escape

and when you do, Alhaitham's just a blur on the edge of Kaveh's vision.

Kaveh is quicker to follow. You're yelling out his name in desperate fear, and he catches the tail end of Alhaitham flipping your skirt up and clawing your panties off, grazing your flesh and getting taken over by your delicious terror. The tip of his claw etches a reminder into your thigh, tears dripping down the side of your face.

Your basket is tossed on its side, contents carelessly spilled along the forest floor.

Your struggle renews somewhat as Kaveh comes close enough for you to see - he's behind Al haitham’s mass so for a second you don't - and you cry out for help again.

Kaveh has his own qualms about this - you're terrified and he's tired of feeling like a monster - but Al haitham operating on animal impulse makes him feel a distinct shame as well as a trickle of jealousy

Kaveh was willing to wait. He's known of you for longer, made it a habit to see you around the woods, tending to your garden, humming along with songbirds, your bubble of reality utterly endearing. He mentioned it once. Let it slip to Al Haitham. Telling him was a distinct inevitability. Also the biggest mistake of his life.

And he couldn’t have expected Al Haitham to take to you at all - what with his inclination to contentedness, Kaveh imagined you’d be a blip on his radar.

But he ends up just as taken by you. He starts asking for what Kaveh knows; and when that well of information goes dry, he makes plans to go straight to its source.

Not to say Kaveh didn't intend to - but there's the way humans do things and the way they do things. A right and wrong. Mating rituals dictate that upon breeding, a bond has been made. Bonds further strengthened by a mark.

Humans court, and give gifts, and have long talks, spend time together ...

Kaveh was willing to try. Al Haitham is too stubborn.

Al Haitham doesn’t understand pretending to be something he is not. Human tradition is just meandering fluff.

He'll breed you so good you'll never think about anything else. If Kaveh wants out, so be it.

But he can't leave you there, begging and pleading and crying for him as the head of Al Haitham’s cock prods at your folds. You're so small. Al Haitham might kill you if he's not careful - and then what? Kaveh steps forward again,

"Al Haitham. Don't be so rough, you're scaring them." Hunched over you like a vulture over carrion, Al Haitham eyes Kaveh, furiously ablaze and downright feral. "Don't tell me what to do. You’re anxious to act, and stall when opportunity reveals itself.

“If you don’t want any-” “No!”

Kaveh’s snarl doesn’t intimidate Al Haitham, but maybe the fangs poised at his neck make him hesitate. The gap between them is closed in but a moment, and Al Haitham jerks his head upwards to dislodge his friend’s grip in one firm shake. He is unsuccessful.

Kaveh’s intervention only seemed to exacerbate Al Haitham’s irritation, before his expression wanes into something more reasonable. Less blood lusty and more level headed, eyes darting off to something more pressing.

"Kaveh." Al Haitham huffs, relatively calmer as Kaveh withdraws from his neck. 

"It’s getting away."

You might have twisted your ankle when Al Haitham tackled you to the floor but you're able to make some distance when they squabble, desperately clawing bald patches of grass and getting dirt under your nails.

they are much faster, and they can make up proper after they figure out what to do with you.

"They're so small..." Kaveh chimes, his pupils dilated as his expression seems to glow.

They talk about you as if you're not right in front of them, trembling and terrified.

"Is that a problem? I thought you liked it tight."

Kaveh shoots him an irritated glare. "Al Haitham. Please." You're crying again.

"You have a nice mouth." When he's not being utterly insufferable. "Maybe show them what that's like?"

Al Haitham snorts like Kaveh’s said something funny. "I'm serious! Let's just do it right this time, okay?"

He blinks once at Kaveh, looking down at where he has your legs spread, moves his clawed hands slowly. Al Haitham huffs harshly, looking down at you with those predator eyes, like you offended his senses.

"Ass up, pup." His tail thumps against the floor, betraying the anger writ over his face. "P-please no! I -"

Whenever you don't move as fast as he wants you to, Al Haitham moves for you. You learn that quick as he flips you over, your tear streaked face now looking at the other, 'kinder' wolf. Kaveh is the worst.

He's trying to make it easier for you, yes. He cradles your face in his clawed hands and coos at you about how beautiful he thinks you are, and how Al Haitham’s not that bad once you get to meet him,

he's paying careful attention to every dip and divot, the taste of your cunt and clit, slow sensuality degrading into frantic wet slurping.

Then he stops suddenly. You feel pin-pricks dig into the flesh of your ass as he spreads it with his thumbs, your dripping cunt throbbing in anticipation, your heart pounding out of your chest.

Kaveh rolls your soft face in his hands, can feel your skin burn hot with every moan or whine Al Haitham urges out of you. You seem embarrassed. He finds human shame so .. intriguing. He licks some of the tears off your cheek. 

He mulls you over, the salt seeming sweet on his tongue.

"I think..." He makes a noise of surprise as you grab at his wrists tighter, pleading with your eyes for them to let you go. 

"I think they're ready."

[taro-pdf]

Humans are Space Oddities: Humanity, Diplomacy, and Disability in Space

---

“Has the translator arrived yet?” 

“Yes Ser, she’s sanitizing her clothing and then will go straight to the docking bay.”

“Good, make sure she’s on time. Ser Hei is here in three hours, and we can’t have anything going wrong.” The captain paced up and down the command room of the Yenna. The space fae, Hei, was coming for a diplomatic discussion about setting up a trade route through xir solar system. If this talk didn’t go well, their ship may very well not make it back. 

---

Three hours later, exactly on time, the dock bay doors opened with a hiss, and a short humanoid figure with brown skin and wild, weightless locs walked through. So this was Hei. Xir reputation preceded xir, and there was not another being so powerful within 1,000 light years. The captain hurriedly stepped forward, only to fall back as xi bared xir teeth towards them, then spoke in a foreign language.

“Uh,” they looked confusedly at the translator. Though translators would work in Hei’s tongue, xi preferred to hear xir own language, and who were they to deny xir?

“I don’t take kindly to your advances. I brought my beings, and will not have you within two meters of them,” she supplied. Behind Hei, a tall being ducked under the door, glowing faintly—a light alien. Holding to xir robe entered a female human with loose brown hair, wearing human attire: a T-shirt and shorts.

“Greetings Mg. Captain,” said the light alien. Then to Hei, “what a nice ship this is.” Hei smiled warmly, then dropped xir expression as xi turned toward the captain again.

“Guang and Fern will be exploring your ship as we talk.”

“Of course, Ser Hei, they will not be bothered. Now, shall we move to the conference room?”

---

While Hei went to discuss politics, the tall being and human went sightseeing. Guang reached out a hand to brush dust off the top of a parked ship. It preferred to keep things tidy, but few were tall enough to see the dust that it could. When it looked down, Fern was gone.

---

Kell was a human technician aboard the Yenna, a spacecraft specialized in human recreational transport. They knew most of the crew on board, and this one wasn’t one of them. She was obviously distressed, pacing up and down the narrow corridor and wringing her hands. 

Kell opened their watch to link their translator to the hers, but no connection appeared. Looking again, she wasn’t wearing any watch. Since Kell was deaf, they only signed. While they could read and write UIPL, it wouldn’t help if the human had nothing to read it on. But the person needed help now, so Kell decided to try ASL.

Hello, I’m K-E-L-L, Kell, they signed slowly. You, they pointed at her, OK? They connected their pointer and thumb in the universal non-ASLsymbol. Or the french chef hand sign among some groups of humans.

She was not facing them head on, but she apparently caught what they said. She started to hit her hands together, one in a thumbs up and one flat in a repeating: Help! 

Ok! Don’t worry, I’ll help you. Kell reached out to calm her frantic signing, but she flinched away.

As they drew back, vibrations distracted them; something large was approaching. They braced themselves and turned toward the corner, from which a dim light was gradually growing. The being that appeared was talking. Its words scrolled across Kell’s glasses in a live transcription.

“Fern, thank goodness!” The tension left Guang’s body as it saw her, but she didn’t stop signing help. “It will be ok. This will pass and we will rest and go back home.” 

Turning to Kell, it asked, “do you have a room where the lights can be a dim purple? With a speaker for music? I’m her guardian, Guang, it/its, light alien.”

Thankfully, this alien had a watch.

Kell, they/them, human. I don’t speak, so I’ll text. I can take you somewhere, Kell texted back.

“Alright, one moment.” Guang turned to the human, speaking to her in a low voice but never touching her. Then to Kell it said, “let’s go slowly.”

Kell led the tall alien, and it in turn led the human, who held onto its robe. Once safely in the room, Guang adjusted the lighting and thanked Kell for their assistance. It asked for their contact code, which Kell gave. Though they hoped that it was not going to report them for making the human cry. It didn’t seem the type, but Kell hadn’t seen its species before, so couldn’t read its body language. Guang thanked them for their help once more and closed the door.

---

The captain sank into their chair. The talk went fine—no one died, thank god—but afterwards… they lost about ten years of their lifespan in stress.

It started with Hei suddenly standing in the middle of a sentence, eyes looking through the left wall, hands clenched. The gravity in the room doubled with the weight of xir emotion.

“Ser Hei, what may I do for you?” the captain gasped out, glancing between Hei and the wall.

“I’ll be leaving in two hours. Prepare my ship.” Hei swept out of the room, not waiting for an answer.

“Of course, Ser,” they inhaled deeply, able to breath again. They ordered the preparations be made and hurried to the control room to see where Hei had gone and what needed to be done in order to avoid damages. 

To their surprise, camera footage showed Hei sitting in a dimly lit room, mouth moving in quiet song. Besides xir sat xir partner, the light alien, and in between them, rocking back and forth, their human. After two hours, her rocking slowed and the trio stood. Hei cloaked them in darkness as they walked back towards the docking bay.

The captain and interpreter were there when Hei arrived. Briefly stepping out of the shadows, Hei addressed them.

“Your request is not granted. We will be keeping our solar system quiet. Travel may pass within five light years of my sun, but any closer and you shall not be seeing that ship again.” 

The captain flinched at the electricity that crackled in the air. What was it that bothered Hei so? What happened with the human? Why was Hei sparing them if they did something wrong? They didn’t risk asking, and the fae, light alien, and human left without another word.

---

Working on a panel of wires, Kell clicked their tongue to the rhythm of their music’s vibrations. It was rare to come across another disabled human in space, and even rarer that that human had real support. How lucky Fern was, and how excited Kell was for the invitation that Guang had promised to send to them. A human who they could connect with, and a chance to visit the planet of a space fae? Few could say they’ve had the honor.

---

For your information:

Mg. is short for Mage, and is a gender neutral title for Mister or Miss. Idea courtesy of @apolloendymion (link). Ser is a gender neutral title for Sir or Miss.

As for language, unless otherwise specialized, communication is in the Universal Interplanetary Language (UIPL), the language of trade and international politics. 

Hei uses it/its (UIPL) and xi/xir (birth tounge) pronouns. It prefers it's birth tounge and beings often default to what it wants, which is why the captain uses xi/xir pronouns even when speaking UIPL.

[corgate-epistolary]

May 3rd, 624

(Transcript under the cut) (Read on Ao3 HERE)

[Written on off-white writing paper with a smooth but lightly textured hand, in golden yellow-brown ink, in cursive. Letter was folded into its own rectangular envelope, and sealed with a wax seal depicting a cat surrounded by moons, mountains, and window-like arch frame. The wax seal is silver, pale green, and gold swirled together]

Elowen Vance, A.Mg. Corgate Village Post Office

May 3rd, 624

Eris Mirrows, A.Mg. 87 Lancedragon Street Avalon

Mx. Mirrows:

We have arrived safely at Corgate.  The [scratch-out] villagers have been, on the whole, extremely [scratch-out] welcoming to Mg. Hawkins & myself. For once, Mg. Hawkins country manners are serving him far better than my own, as the locals see him as one of their own come home again.  I know Mg. Equlee is bitterly disappointed by the council’s decision (and if it were in my power I [scratch-out] would have [scratch-out, “recom”] recommended to send both, [scratch-out, appears to have been a closed parenthesis] as irritable as they can be to [scratch-out, “the”] each other) but I do not believe he would enjoy this section of the trip.  Please do express my condolences & apologies if you feel it

[end of page 1]

would be in his best interest.

The train journey was fine, & the tracks in this area are in good repair.  Should you ever have cause to visit, it is about one day’s journey via the train from the city to the station in Corgate, which is very small but well kept.  I am told from here it is another two hours’ [scratch-out, “tra”] travel to the ruins.  As such, I am intending to make the journey to the station for mail & supplies once weekly, and will consider it a morning’s work.

While I am away from Avalon, would you please keep me abreast of the latest happenings with the council?  And of course the general public knowledge of our colleagues & their doings.  I know you find it a little trivial, however [scratch-out, “evew”] even you must recognize the importance of good information before some other magician drags yours into some risky scheme.  We have a duty to ensure that they do not blow themselves up, after all.  I ask only because Mg. Hawkins (and I, in my less charitable moments) is convinced that this posting, far from the city & the university, is intended as a quiet exile as punishment for Mg. Hawkins’ lack of interest

[end of page 2]

in pursuing more formalized proofs & magical education.  I am sure you can hear in your mind his perennial exclamation that he is “getting along just fine as I am!”  I know I can even though I can hear him snoring quite plainly through the inn walls.

Such walls!  The buildings in Corgate seem made [scratch-out, “of”, but written poorly] of tissue paper to my eye - all frame, wattle, & daub and no bricks to be seen.  I am not so sure I will be truly suited to agent’s work in the field, but I can certainly see that Mg. Hawkins is quite in his element.  He seems quite at peace with himself here in a way he has [scratch-out, “nev”] never seemed back home.  Like a bird let loose from a cage, I suppose.  I am ever so glad he is happy, but I will have to learn his trick of avoiding the country mud before I go mad.

On an unrelated note, however, would you please stop by Vimes Place and look for my brown satchel?  In the scramble to get Mg. Hawkins (and all his supplies) out the door, I believe I left it

[end of page 3]

on the front table. It [scratch-out, “on”] only has a few novels & my copy of the notes on the ruins, which I could copy over again if needed, but I do not want to, AND you have the key.  I would trust it to you & to the post office [scratch-out, at the bottom of “office”] here in Corgate, but ask Mg. Equlee to put a little locking on it first.

I will look [scratch-out, “y”] for [scratch-out] your letter when I come down to Corgate next.  [scratch-out, “Stay we”] Stay well!

Ms. Elowen Vance, A.Mg.

P.S. Please let me know if any of my plants start looking sorrowful.  And do forward a newspaper [scratch-out] or two from time to time if you can

[end of page 4][end of letter]

[hatredmadeofgold]

Revenge with a vengeance — The tragedy of Sam and Raiden’s canon relationship dynamic

Alternate title: SamuRaiden is THAT deep, actually.

Side note by author: This essay will get an update eventually since I wrote it before playing the Japanese version of the game.

Although MGR does not have as complex or well researched character lore as the main series, Samuraiden as a relationship is a lot more complex than common fandom tropes and interpretations of their relationship suggest. I don’t mind it when people make funny/meme content about these two, since MGS/R does come with its own flair of humour, it’s very exhausting for me as well as a few others I know who enjoy this ship for it to be reduced to just that — a joke. MGR being perceived as ‘goofy’ is mainly due to how poorly some of the character lines translate from Japanese to English, as well as it being more or less evident that either budget, time or both ran out over the course of development, hence the second half of the game feels rushed and underdeveloped. In fact, the great majority of MGR fans do not understand how serious, dark, hopeless and dystopian its message really is and that is saddening.

The world isn’t black and white, neither is it in MGS/R. Sam isn’t the just the villain (never has been, by the way), Raiden isn’t the just the hero (never has been either, by the way), I’d say it’s rather “depends on who you ask”. They are on opposite sides due to the circumstances of how they meet and not because they wouldn’t get along. Quite the opposite is true, in fact, if they would have met before 2016, they might have become friends based on the fact of how much they can actually relate to each other in many different aspects of their personalities, interests and experiences.

Before we get to fight Armstrong as well as during the Sam DLC (also through very subtle hints during their first fight on the train) we learn that Sam is just like Raiden and that Desperado forced him to become a shadow of who he once was, going against his own morals and values and only Raiden reminding him of who he truly was before Armstrong defeated him 2 years prior, ultimately crushing his spirit — he had no other choice, either die there as a failure or continue to live and become Desperado’s/Armstrong’s puppet [until someone would eventually defeat Armstrong and free Sam from his never ending nightmare — Did I already mention that Sam is a really fucking tragic character?]. Sam joining Armstrong’s laughter at the end of DLC is a reaction of fear, not agreement with him or enjoyment. And if there’s one thing that both MGS and MGR are really good at, it’s the accurate and very realistic portrayal of the human psyche under stressful and traumatic situations.

On the other side we can tell from Raiden’s reaction when holding Murasama after killing Sam that he, for once in the entire damn series, questions if that was the right choice he made. We know that Raiden enjoys inflicting pain and suffering onto others, he enjoys murder — but he did not feel that way when he killed Sam. It’s quite the opposite. It’s very subtle and if you’re not very observant like me, easy to miss. But the way his voice turns a bit softer, how his eyes look listless, almost sad; he regrets it. When Blade Wolf asks Raiden if that outcome was really necessary, he does not answer him, because he knows that Wolf is right, it wasn’t. And Raiden pretty much hates himself for it. To his team he confidently says that Sam isn’t a problem anymore since he killed him, but that’s not the same Raiden that he’s that moment in the badlands (which is another implication to me that Raiden doesn’t fully trust his teammates, although they are friends; he has major trust issues and the only emotions he shares with them is either anger or amusement but nothing outside of that). The way he sheathes Murasama is a way to honour him, and as far as I remember this is a ritual to honour a samurai’s defeat or death.

I believe that there has been a silent understanding between the two swordsmen that they respect each other from the very beginning, but they do not say it out loud. This is a case of “show, don’t tell” but also something I suspect has something to do with the game being written by Japanese authors, and Japanese is a high context language, meaning, very little words are needed to get the meaning across, and I think this may also translate into the words these two exchange with each other compared to how they truly feel about the other. Besides, they probably couldn’t truly speak honestly with each other in the first place because of the unfortunate conditions of how they met and were (more or less) forced to fight each other until one of them would eventually succumb to the other’s blade. Codecs and conversations were most likely recorded by their respective employers, and I highly suspect that in Sam’s case, he was even monitored 24/7 by Desperado since he never was an official member of the Winds of Destruction in the first place, and they didn’t fully trust him either.

At the very end of the game during the fight with Armstrong, Sam’s message plays, and we can hear how Sam also speaks with a different voice to Blade Wolf compared to everyone else (and technically, indirectly to Raiden but I cannot confirm or deny that Sam was aware that Raiden would ever hear this playback), it’s a note softer; Raiden learns the truth, which confirms to him that he was right about Sam after all, that they are alike, that they respect each other, and that there was more to Sam’s story than him being a part of Desperado, he doesn’t know what exactly, but he knows now for sure that Sam was not the person he originally believed he was (and lets his team still believe he thinks that way).

Would Raiden truly say Sam’s catchphrase “Let’s dance” before fighting and ultimately killing Armstrong, if he wouldn’t have been going through a gradual process between originally hating Sam to respecting and liking him but unable to ever express that to him or anyone else?

Would he ever admit to anyone what kind of emotional impact Sam had on him, besides the anger and hatred he openly expressed towards him?

Doubt so. Highly fucking doubt so.

Because sharing his true feelings is a liability to him, and Raiden learnt as a very young child that vulnerable feelings such as sadness or guilt would be used against him, so his psyche is conditioned to discard them immediately. But Sam made him feel those things in their full extent and Raiden is fully aware of that, but he would never share with anybody that he ever felt that way about Sam.

He may or may not take those feelings to his grave.

From Sam’s side, we can only guess how he truly felt about Raiden, but we can only guess by the way he hesitated to finish him off on the train during the prologue, the way he smiled at Blade Wolf before his death (which might be likely another case of a silent understanding between Sam and Wolf that the latter would share with Raiden what he knows about Sam or the playback of their conversation itself, if not both) as well as everything he says with giving Murasama to Raiden. Of course, Sam couldn’t even say out loud to Blade Wolf or Raiden that he planned to give Raiden his sword to take down Armstrong, and he had to be as vague as possible with the information that he shared with the robot dog. Not by choice, no. Most likely because he was being watched 24/7, he knew that Desperado nor Armstrong didn’t fully trust him and if they knew about his plans, they’d make sure to finish him off before Raiden had the chance to do so. Sam knew he would die, and that it would be the only way he would ever be free from Armstrong’s grasp. So he chose suicide through Raiden’s blade, and gave him his sword to finish what he could not back then.

The game’s title is REVENGEANCE — Revenge with a vengeance.

They both translate to the same thing in my native language German, but there’s a subtle yet important difference between these two nouns.

“Revenge means when you get back at your enemy who is responsible for hurting you and vengeance is the punishment inflicted or retribution exacted for an injury or wrong.”

But it was never Armstrong who hurt or wronged Raiden in the first place, and we know he’s an essentially selfish person who does not really care all that much about politics, religion or anything like that and he only fights for himself (I wrote in my essay about Raiden’s ASPD that his motivation to save these children from becoming cyborg child soldiers is a trauma response first and his rather lose and grey morality second) and the few people he cares about, so Armstrong being the one one who ordered to get N’mani killed is not the reason Raiden went after him or was that passionate about getting revenge or retribution on him either.

It was Sam who hurt him — wounded both his body and soul during the prologue — but when Raiden got his revenge, he realised that revenge is empty, that he didn’t feel better, and that he regrets killing him, then we get to the vengeance part. From the moment Raiden held Sam’s Murasama in the badlands, he felt no more hatred towards him and the emotional impact his death had on him made Sam transition from a person he hated to one of the few people Raiden truly cares about.

Armstrong may be the villain of the story, but the person who wanted revenge on him never had been Raiden. It was Sam. Always had been Sam, because it was Sam who got hurt by Armstrong, it was Sam who wanted to get revenge on Armstrong for defeating him and crushing his spirit, it was Sam who wanted to punish Armstrong for making him into a shadow of who he once was, making Sam speak about ideals he didn’t truly believe in (like, who the FUCK even thinks that Sam truly believed a single fucking word of that, because I for sure as hell can tell he never did, he either gaslit himself into believing that for 2 years until he met Raiden or only parroted whatever the fuck Armstrong wanted him to say so he would not get killed on the spot).

Revenge and vengeance are very deep feelings and actions of hatred, feelings that are too deep and complex to be associated with morality, hence why I highly doubt that the title of the game is directed at Armstrong from Raiden’s side at all. That between Raiden and Armstrong is not nearly as personal as it has been between Sam and Armstrong. Raiden eradicating Desperado and Armstrong had been about justice [for the kids being killed and their organs sold], not revenge.

"I said my sword was a tool of justice. Not used in anger. Not used for vengeance. But now… Now I'm not so sure. And besides, this isn't my sword."

But when he says this, followed by “Let’s dance”, it became deeply personal for Raiden as well. Because he could confirm that his feelings about Sam had been right, and that Sam wanted to get revenge on Armstrong.

Raiden decides to avenge him, because Sam couldn’t get revenge himself.

Although Sam never told him directly, Raiden understood him from his actions alone, those subtle hints, reading between the lines what the other truly felt and wanted the whole time, eventually passing the “torch” — his sword — to Raiden, to finish what he could not. So while Raiden’s own reasons to finish off Armstrong were (mostly) justice for the innocent lives he destroyed and planned to continue to destroy, they also became feelings of hatred and anger — Sam’s feelings towards Armstrong.

In the end — revenge with a vengeance — is what Sam could get on Armstrong only through Raiden, after Raiden enacted his onto Sam.

Now the question is — if Raiden would’ve never killed Sam, by the chance of him recognising earlier than in canon that revenge is empty and that he won’t feel better after killing him, would Sam go by his example and abandon his revenge plans on Armstrong as well? Or would they fight Armstrong together and get justice?

We unfortunately can only speculate (or write stories about it).

What we can tell from canon though, is that Raiden’s (= Sam’s) passionate feelings of hatred towards Armstrong quickly vanish the moment he finished him off, and he looks into the camera with an empty expression, covered in blood and a crushed cybernetic heart in his hand.

And I think that is exactly what he feels — empty.

Because again, he got revenge and avenged Sam, led by what Sam felt, Sam’s feelings became Raiden’s feelings during that fight with Armstrong. But once that was gone, there’s nothing left. In the case of killing Armstrong, he doesn’t feel remorse or guilt. There’s nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Because revenge is empty.

Raiden defeated his enemies — but at what cost?

By killing Sam, he realised what he had actually lost — a potential friend (or more), someone who understood him in a way that no one else did. Perhaps he thought or felt that, if he avenges Sam, making Sam’s feelings towards Armstrong into his own, he might be able to deal with that loss better, but to no avail.

Because, and I can speak from experience as a person with the same mental health issues as Raiden, that emptiness is worse than regret.

MGR’s ending also implies that Raiden abandons his family and friends to fight his own war; essentially taking the same path that Sam once took in his past, ending up in a personal war and revenge act that knows no end, making one bad choice after the next. If Raiden hasn’t already become the villain of his own story by the end of MGR, then it’s just a matter of time until he becomes that.

And the cycle of violence continues, until the story repeats itself, over and over and over and over and over.

Did I mention already that there is a myth around Murasama being a cursed sword, that will drive its user either slowly insane or make them commit suicide if it doesn’t get a regular ‘blood sacrifice’?

—

“I really enjoy murder, but that one, that I will regret for the rest of my life.”

[bestworstcase]

I think what strikes me about the razing of Vale is how it directly parallels what Ironwood and Atlas did, but also what VALE did to Mountain Glenn.

After all, Vale also was the reason that Mountain Glenn was doomed in the first place. They abandoned the people of MG to their death under the pretense that they couldn't do anything for them. And it's even worse when you consider the fact that Mountain Glenn had a fully functional underground TRAIN NETWORK that reaches directly under Vale, in parallel to Atlas having cargo ships.

If anything, it proves that Vale DID have the means to save the people of Mountain Glenn by using the trains to take citizens to safety while Huntsmen or soldiers probably could have held the line and stopped the Grimm from following. But they, like Ironwood, chose to abandon them to their fate to save themselves.

After all, the set up of the situation is something like this according to Oobleck:

Mountain Glenn is built. People transferred from Vale to MG. Mountain Glenn has no natural protection, and thus was besieged. MG people go underground.

But here's the thing though: If they went underground, why didn't they just get back onto the underground trains to escape?

It didn't say that the tunnels were swarmed, only that an explosion opened a different cavern that exposed an underground Grimm nest. If anything, it didn't say that this happened immediately either. There's definitely a noticeable gap between when they went underground, vs when the explosion is implied to have happened. They more or less outright stated that "it was a safe haven", and from looking at the background, there were plenty of half-finished underground buildings there that strongly implied that they were able to keep things going for a period of time until they found the Grimm nest.

What it seems like to me is that Vale didn't even attempt to help them evacuate via the underground, and just sealed them up to die.

They were foreshadowing Atlas as early as Volume 2.

So in a dark sense, Salem's destruction of Vale is karma finally coming after the Kingdom of Vale for willingly leaving their former citizens to die in such a horrible fashion.

yeah this is pretty much where my thinking is, especially in light of how important the mountain glenn arc’s character development was in v9 and how—& i was saying this last year while the volume was airing!—in the ever after the girls answered the herbalist’s question (“what are you?”) but didn’t answer oobleck’s (“no, that is what you do; i want to know why you do it”). so there’s this driving sense that the answers are unfinished and that intersects with oobleck’s entry into the narrative at this moment of personal crisis for him in his failure to prevent another mountain glenn. and then a key theme with the mountain glenn arc is that history is important.

“if you can’t learn from it, you’re destined to repeat it.” and “i see lives that could have been saved, but i also see an opportunity—an opportunity to study these ruins and learn from this tragedy.” on its face, it’s easy to take oobleck’s perspective to mean that he strives to better understand how to fend off the grimm, but oobleck is not the grimm studies professor nor does he express any particular interest or concern on the matter of killing grimm (to the point that the girls get irate with him for not fighting, and he’s the one who tells ruby not to provoke the goliaths).

he teaches HISTORY.

in jaundice we get oobleck talking about the faunus revolution like: this may seem like ancient history to all of you, but it isn’t, it still matters, there isn’t a faunus in this classroom who hasn’t been subjected to discrimination, this kind of hatred and cruelty breeds violence, just look at what happened to the white fang. and then he hits his two most disinterested students with “history is important, if you can’t learn from it, you’re destined to repeat it!”—like. oobleck tries SO HARD to get his students to grasp that the historical faunus revolution and the modern-day white fang are the same. that this is history repeating itself because humankind refuses to learn.

and that sets the stage for mountain glenn. what does it mean that oobleck sees in this wasteland a “dark reminder” of vale’s “greatest failure” and lives that could have been saved and a chance to learn from it to ensure that it won’t ever happen again, and this is what motivates him to BECOME A HISTORY TEACHER, and specifically the kind of history teacher who teaches the faunus revolution by confronting his students with the truth that persecution at human hands is what drove the white fang to violence? what does that say about him? about the failure he sees when he looks at mountain glenn?

more to the point:

the theme of the mountain glenn arc is that we must learn from history to avoid repeating the failures of the past. this is a throughline that runs through the rest of the story: the girls hear what oobleck is trying to teach them, and when the wolves are howling at the door and the general orders them to abandon the people of mantle to save atlas, they refuse. and they stand their ground, and they try, and they save EVERYBODY. the failure to save mountain glenn is not repeated, because oobleck taught them that.

now vale has fallen, and oobleck sits on that refugee ship in abject despair because he feels the weight of his failure crushing down on him—and, narratively, the most important question is, “is he right?”

like, did he fail? is the destruction of vale something that constitutes a failure?

not a defeat—that’s not the same thing. vale suffered a catastrophic defeat. but were there lives that COULD HAVE been saved if the ones who made the decisions had chosen differently? is oobleck standing in team rwby’s shoes, someone who did the very best he could and saved absolutely everyone it was possible to save, or is that ship full of refugees atlas leaving mantle behind to die?

THAT is the crucial question, because the failure of mountain glenn is not that the city fell but rather that there were lives that could have been saved. and that distinction has to be made, because otherwise the lesson that was not learned, the failure in vale’s destruction, is… what? that nowhere is safe? that no amount of geographical advantage or aggressive border defenses can save you from an inexhaustible onslaught? that mountain glenn was doomed from the start and it was naive to think vale could be different?

is rwby that kind of story? no.

mountain glenn was doomed from the start. its eventual destruction by the grimm was inevitable, oobleck says, because the city was established in grimm territory. but there were lives that could have been saved.

atlas and mantle were doomed from the moment ozpin used the staff to raise atlas; it was inevitable that the staff would be used again, by someone, for some reason, and as soon as that happened both cities would be destroyed. but there were no lives that could have been saved, because they saved EVERYONE.

vale, too, was doomed from the moment salem set herself to razing it; by sheer force of inexhaustible numbers and the ability to outlast anything done to her, her destruction of the city was inevitable. but were there lives that could have been saved?

and even more importantly, are there still lives that can be saved?

here’s what oobleck says of mountain glenn:

WEISS: What does history have to do with this? OOBLECK: Why, what a preposterous question, you silly girl! Why, history is the backbone of our very society! …And the liver! And probably the kidneys, if I were to wager. WEISS: And that means...? OOBLECK: The southeast quadrant outside of Vale is home to wild forests and deep caves, but it is also the location to one of the kingdom's greatest failures! RUBY: Mountain Glenn. YANG: That's right! It was an expansion of Vale... But in the end it was overrun by grimm and fenced off from the rest of the city. OOBLECK: Correct! And now it stands abandoned as a dark reminder.

and:

OOBLECK: Mountain Glenn! Yes, an expansion of Vale that was inevitably destroyed by creatures of grimm! Previously home to thousands of people, working people commuting to the city, the main city! Developed a subway system to the inner city! Grimm attacks increased! Population in danger, now desperately searching for shelter! City evacuates into the metro tunnels and what do they find? The southeast quadrant of Vale is known for wild forests and deep caves! […] OOBLECK: No, no, Mountain Glenn was Vale's first serious attempt at expansion. It worked for a short period of time, thanks to an aggressive perimeter defense and unique transportation; the city developed an elaborate subway system to carry citizens safely from the new territory into the main kingdom! Sadly, without the many natural barriers Vale had to protect its borders, Mountain Glenn was doomed from the start! As the end drew near, the citizens of the territory made one last attempt at survival: they took up shelter beneath the city, in massive caves that they had cleared out for the subway, and they cut themselves off from the surface! YANG: An underground village? OOBLECK: In a matter of speaking, yes. A safe haven. Until... an explosion opened the mouth of another cavern, filled with subterranean grimm. After that, the Kingdom officially sealed off the tunnels, creating the world's largest tomb.

and the undercity looks like this:

not even half-finished buildings, at least some of these look like completed structures that are now falling into ruin—and this isn’t some haphazard shantytown cobbled together out of scrap, these are huge high-rise apartment buildings! the mountain glenn undercity lasted a long time, months or perhaps even years given the scale and complexity of construction that was completed before the explosion punched a hole through the cavern walls into a nest of grimm.

the thing that most interests me about oobleck’s account of mountain glenn’s demise, is… like, the sequence of events seems to imply that vale cut the territory off when the upper city was overrun. the people living in mountain glenn “made one last attempt at survival” by retreating into the subway tunnels… which they did not use to evacuate to vale. instead they built an underground city in the cavern surrounding the subway system, and lived for what seems to be quite some time with grimm quite literally nesting on top of them.

think about the nevermore perching on the hard-light dome over amity coliseum. now imagine building a town in the arena and living there, under that nevermore, for a year. that’s what the people of mountain glenn did, instead of using the existing subway system to evacuate to vale. why?

why, in a world where human civilization is so defined by existential terror of the grimm, would they do that, unless they had no other choice? vale “officially” sealed off the tunnels when the undercity was overrun, but…

i mean, we see what happens when you bring thousands of people who’ve just survived the destruction of their homes to a new place: a days-long onslaught of grimm drawn by the refugees. vale isn’t walled. it doesn’t maintain a standing army. if thousands of refugees had flooded into vale after mountain glenn collapsed, the grimm would have been right behind them.

and… mountain glenn was a working-class suburb of vale. the people living there commuted to vale every day to work. they were probably quite poor compared to the average person living in vale—which is another parallel with mantle—could they afford to relocate to vale, if vale refused to provide housing for the mountain glenn refugees? was it a choice between having an apartment and enough food to eat in mountain glenn or being homeless and hungry in vale where everything was astronomically more expensive? were they, like mantle, just “a few city blocks” if vale’s leadership thought of them at all?

history is important. if you can’t learn from it, you’re destined to repeat it.

mountain glenn is vale’s history. did vale learn from that history? i think—narratively, for the purpose of contrast with the fall of atlas—the answer is probably no. and that means salem’s destruction of vale is less dark karmic justice than the wheel of history repeating itself; the city has been overrun.

but—mountain glenn’s people outlived mountain glenn itself, by retreating into caverns and building the undercity. so i think the big question with regard to salem razing vale is whether this is the “as the end drew near” part or the “creating the world’s largest tomb” part of the story. is everyone who didn’t make it onto that ship dead, or are they making one last attempt at survival by retreating into the same tunnels where mountain glenn’s people carved out a safe haven for themselves?

there’s a constant repetition throughout this story of the idea of “beacons of hope” and “safe havens” and this is something i find quite interesting because, obviously, there’s a beacon academy and a haven academy. atlas and shade don’t get rhetorically name-dropped like this, but atlas was a beacon of hope (the city in the sky, promise of a better future!) and the kids are fighting to make shade a safe haven. beacon fell, atlas fell, but haven was saved. it’s closed right now, but it’s still standing and mistral is—as far as we know—weathering the storm. menagerie offers safe haven to the faunus who don’t want to fight, and salem has no plans to attack it.

the mountain glenn undercity was a safe haven, kind of. only no one came to help when help was needed—haven survived because menagerie stood to defend it. shade will survive because mistral and menagerie stand with it. if there are people hiding from salem in the undercity, they’ll survive because shade and mistral and menagerie come to their aid. you see how it gains momentum with every arc of the story? the beacons collapse alone and the havens stand together.

[l-crimson-l]

I'd love to get into girlpla, I'm just a bit too broke to afford any kits; however, if you'd like to talk about it as a whole, I'd be more than happy to hear.

So…let me try this again. I had a whole nice post written up and I swapped off for a moment to check something and I completely lost the post.

Mecha Musume has a pretty long history that I’m not going to go into but here’s a little video if you’re interested.

Now when most people think of Mecha Musume there’s basically one standout line above them all: Frame Arms Girl.

This line is a bit old now but its popularity has set the aesthetic style for the market as it stands now. The build of these are…ok. Kotobukiya was definitely learning with these kits but they’re still solid at the end of it.

Now if you’re like me you’re not too much a fan of the pantsu out look, and other kits in the line don’t exactly do anything to mitigate that feeling (looking at you Durga I).

The next line Koto would release would be better at this tho. The Megami Device line features all original designs as well as collabs from new and old mecha musume brands alike.

First thing off the bat this is that they’re pricey. At an average cost of $70 you’re basically buying a Bandai MG gunpla. That said, they all typically come with a bunch of option parts. These are usually in the form of unarmored limbs, different chest pieces, face plates (with water slides to make your own) and extra connectors to help with kitbashing. Koto also has released option body segments to let you swap any part of the body you might want to if the right option isn’t available in the box (~$12). It should be noted the newest kits in this line have brought the price down to $50 as well as reengineered the build to add a lot more articulation and pose-ability.

Also in this lines favor is the articulation and build quality. You’re going to get a nice range of motion with or without armor and some of the smaller details also sometimes come pre painted.

That said Kotobukiya is a company that favors more complex character design over an Out Of Box experience so there’s some smaller details that are etched into the kit but unless your paints them won’t be color correct. I would say this is pretty common across most Koto lines.

Both the FAgirls and Megami Device are scaled at 1/12 so Little Armory guns and the whole market of 3rd party accessories will work with these kits.

Next up is Koto’s Sousai Shoujo Teien which is simple girls as plastic models

A little cheaper and at 1/10 scale instead of 1/12. I’ve not built any but I do know they can bash with Megami Device and Hexa Gear lines just fine. If you take a peek at the JP girpla community there’s actually a niche but healthy group dedicated to taking nice photos of their kits dressed up in everyday scenarios.

Finally the newest line of Koto girl kits is the Arcanadea line.

Purely in a fantasy take these are Incredible kits. I’ve only built one (Lumitea) but it was far and away a much better build experience than the FAgirl kits. These are actually designed by a vtuber artist iirc which is why the designs are so different than other Koto kit lines. If you have the cash and want to try something different I would highly recommend.

Now finally we get to Bandai. After learning from their failures with the Hg Build Fighters girls they went back and designed something solid and what got me into mecha musume: 30 Minute Sisters

Right off the bat with an average price of around $30 the barrier to entry is much easier. While not as refined as the Megami Device line, these simple kits cram in a lot for the price. You’ll get an armored and unarmored form, as well as face plates. However the biggest selling point is How Damn Easy they are to bash. Being apart of the 30M line means they’re completely compatible with the 30MM line of mechs. Which also means all of those extra weapon and armor sets transfer over for the most part. And that’s not even talking about the dedicated 30MS option sets like hair parts, body parts, etc.

This is a Very beginner friendly line of kits and the place I would suggest most people starting if they’re looking to get into mecha musume.

This example I think uses about 5 different kits to build and I don’t believe any serious modifications were needed.

Another Bandai line to mention is the Standard Figurise line which you’ll be familiar with if you’ve picked up the Sulletta, Miorine or ChuChu kits. Typically pretty solid kits (uma musume excluded, only get the 30ms version of that one) they usually include characters from a variety of different shows. These are still of course bash-able but not without modification.

With the explosion of popularity with these kits means we have even more companies now joining in the race. ATK and MS General have a bunch of kits to offer and we see new companies pop up some really sick looking kits (see tgat Galahad)

We even have Plamax giving us the really cool looking GODZ ORDER kits and soon character kits from Blue Archive, Konosuba and others.

For these smaller/third party companies I would suggest doing plenty of research before buying one. The ATK kit that I made was Especially frustrating and required a lot of extra work to make parts fit right or to clean them up so they fit at all. Not to mention the extra detail work required to really make them look like the box example. Just do your homework.

I hope this helps!! It’s a growing market so there’s always more kits being announced. This should have covered the majority of kits out there but IMPORTANT! Check sites like AmiAmi for sales or resales on kits. You can sometimes find an unbuilt kit that retails at $70 going for $30.

USAGS will regularly get Koto kits in and new releases but by no means believe them when they say a kit is USAGS exclusive. Remember to check HLJ as well. Let me know if you have any other questions and I’ll do my best to answer them!!

[ramenhue88]

Something about cheese 🧀

I love the designs of witches in Madoka Magica. Gekidan Inu Curry, the designer for the witches, is a GOAT. Witches all have that paper vibe going on with them. So, let's list all the witches that appeared in the anime so that you can see what I mean by, "Paper Vibe™" (Also note I'm going by the wiki) + Gertrud

+ H.N Elly (Kirsten)

(Side note for Elly is that we actually see her 2 different forms [Should I call it forms? Idk]. The picture above is when Sayaka killed her and the other one is when she's inside the television. Also, the picture above only shows up for about a second.)

+ Gisela

+ Elsa Maria (Poor her, got murdered by Sayaka)

+ Oktavia von Seckendorff (Seyiku.....)

+ Izabel

+ And of course, Walpurgis!

But wait a minute.... I feel like I'm forgetting someone.... OH RIGHT! + Charlotte!!

[Steppy steppy Homu] See those images? Now those are the #PaperVibes™ I'm looking for! Well except for Walpurgis who has 3D cog wheels instead of a paper vibe™. All witches look like this paper vibe™ but for the one I almost forgot; Charlotte, why is she the only exception to this rule? She's entirely animated like everyone else in the series. No other witch is drawn like this. She's the only exception when it comes to this rule. Well, the only NORMAL witch that is exempt from this rule. Ultimate Madoka's "witch" also doesn't follow the paper vibe™.

It's more drawn than paper bashed. And that's ok since Madoka is the most powerful magical girl thus making this one, the most powerful witch. So of course, it's gonna break the rules, same with Walpurgis. It's also drawn with its difference having 3D rendered cog wheels.

So why does a normal witch get the animated treatment? By Goddess Madoka, EVEN HOMURA has the paper bashed witch.

(Thank God Homura got the paper bashed witch treatment, I am gonna throw hands if she didn't. Look how beautiful that is...)

So why in Goddess Madoka's name does Bebe get the animated treatment, when we consider her, a normal witch? We can chalk this up to the animation team just wanting Bebe to stand out from the rest (Because she's the witch for the #IconicSceneAlert) and nothing more. Buuuuut... That's boring. So let me try to reason out why Bebe looks different from every other witch.

[Let me yoink this witch]

Ok, so about Bebe.... Well, what about her? We have nothing to go on if we're only talking about the main series. We don't know anything about her apart from her personality and design. Her wish? Nothing. Her past? Nothing. So how do we talk about someone who doesn't have anything? Well, we go to another universe silly! Magia!~ Record!~ (Cue the SONG)

Not that universe but another another one!

There we go. MAGIA~! RECORD~! (NOW cue the SONG) The game one.

In Magia Record they expanded much more on Nagisa, giving her an event titled: Nagisa's Wish! (If you want to watch it)

(Me and Nagisa have the same reaction after finding out the event is literally named Nagisa's Wish)

So, let's go back to her witch appearance for a moment. In Magia Record you fight her and EVEN in this game, they decide to make Charlotte look "normal".

Most, if not all, witches still look papery even in the game. I say most and not all because of the NA shutdown and I have no idea of anything past Arc 1 Magia Record (I'm still finding free time to catch up to Arc 2). Doppels and Rumours ALSO follow the papery rule.

There is one exception to Bebe's appearance and that is Nagisa's doppel.

[Now that's the papery vibe™ I'm looking for!]

So why does Bebe have a different art style than ALL of the other witches? Let's go to her MGS in Magia Record (Metal Gear Solid!? No, Magical Girl Story)

So, in her MGS we see that she's being followed by a Pink Kyubey which we can safely assume is Goddess Madoka. Why can we assume that? First, her transformation (when you get her in the gacha). It starts with the symbol of the law of cycles.

Second, it's literally Goddess Madoka pulling for her in her transformation.

[Go get that 5-star girl]

She's also putting make-up on Nagisa and making her look human.

Well not literally making her look human. You can read this as Goddess Madoka, preparing her to blend in because you know. She's half magical girl half witch already at this point. So of course, you gotta blend her in. So, we've made it clear that the Pink Kyubey is Goddess Madoka, watching Nagisa from afar. How important is Nagisa that THE Goddess Madoka, THE concept would get you to do work for her instead of another magical girl. Well firstly, she can't choose any of the 5, because Goddess Madoka is essentially killing the Magia Record version of them by putting another version in their body. Nagisa is the closest choice for Goddess Madoka because.... Because.....

[LMAOOOOO I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. SAME MAMI, SAME. Look I get that Bebe is the closest to them because she killed Mami?? I mean you could say that to Gertrud, Esla Maria, Gisella. Every other witch could have fit the Bebe position. But I'm not complaining that they used Nagisa btw.]

But this does bring up the fact that Nagisa is special in one way or another.

Ehemm... Back to the topic at hand.

So why does Bebe have a different art style than all the other witches. One theory I have is that Charlotte, the witch, has more control over their witch body compared to other magical girls. Like she's more accepting of what happened to her compared to other magical girls. She succumbed to despair, just like any other magical girl. But unlike the others, she chose to bathe in despair. Enjoy it.

[From Magia Record - Nagisa's Wish]

Other magical girls wallowed and grieved in despair. Not Nagisa no. She accepted this despair because there was nothing more she can do, there was nowhere for her to go anymore. She lost everything. So, when she became a witch, she was more in tune with it. She was more welcoming of her faith than other magical girls. (Ehem Homura, ehem...) Can you blame her though?

If everything in your life went wrong and then suddenly for a moment. Everything went your way. Would you not want to stay in that moment forever?

In her witch labyrinth she could eat all the cheese she wants.

For her, cheese was equivalent to her mother's love.

I mean, her mother loved cheese.

She on the other hand, didn't. After becoming a witch, she began to see cheese as a symbol of her mother. She loved chasing cheese; she loved eating cheese.

For her, chasing cheese began to symbolize her wanting to get her mother's love. That is why she's so obsessed with it. All she wanted was to go home with her mother.

Her life was a tragedy and she saved herself from it. By ending her tragedy of a life, she began a new and better life.

She could eat all the cheese she wants.

She could have all the snacks she wants.

She could choose from the varieties of cheese in the room!

This is the HapPiEst she has ever been!

Why would she deny herself this happiness?

The princess has finally found a place where she can happy! The End

Bonus!! So, while I was looking for a screenshot for the end of my post. I saw this happy Nagisa. And I thought to myself... "Wait a minutos, why is she happy? Shouldn't she have memories of everything that happened?" Well, for a fact she does. I mean, Sayaka remembers everything, she just forgot because Homura made her forget. Homura didn't do it to Nagisa. So, it's safe to assume she does remember. So, she's happy because Homura won? Not exactly. In rebellion the scene with Sayaka and Kyoko where she interrupted them, she said.

So, if we go by what she said. We can assume she doesn't care about the Rebellion event. She's just happy that she gets to exist again. Back in 2015, the Madoka concept trailer.

The happiness Nagisa wants is not in Heaven. It doesn't exist there. So, when Homura to dragged Madoka down, she destroyed Madoka's "Heaven" where Nagisa lives. She now lives in reality again. Where she can eat cheese again and experience all the things she never got to experience. So, for her, what Homura did is something that actually goes for her favor. We love a selfish cheese loving character.

[nihilnovisubsole]

phew! finally a weekend where i can set aside enough time to type up The Promised Endwalker Stream-of-Consciousness Post. i finished the base story... a month ago? but work has been busy, and i think tumblr benefits from me being quiet sometimes. anyway, what a ride. when you've been building up to the end of your arc for a decade, you want to hit it like an earthquake, and that's exactly what they did.

i think people love endwalker because it fires on all cylinders. it returns - in both story and vision - to the eorzea we love, and the dev team gets to show off everything they've learned. the dungeons and boss fights are dynamic and imaginative and colorful and bring the game's epic sense of scope to bear. the story callbacks are juicy. the music is orchestral again. we're back home, and we're saving the galaxy. what's better than this?

i love that we go to garlemald. i don't - i mean, you know, i don't like garlemald. i shouldn't have to qualify that. but it's hugely narratively satisfying to see the face of the enemy we've been fighting since the first few hours of ARR. you don't think about them when you're beating them up in castrum centri or ala mhigo. they're star wars bad guys. then you meet them on their own turf. you observe firsthand how they starve and cannibalize their own people to feed their obsession with state power and military strength. the wintry environment makes it seem all the more barren and desperate. my favorite part by far. i wish we'd spent more time there.

actually, on that note:

there is an argument that endwalker should've been two expacs. i've heard similar about stormblood - ala mhigo should've been the whole thing, and doma should've been either patch content or an expac of its own. the prevailing theory is that, after ARR, the devs are afraid of letting arcs run long. i can't speak to that, but i wouldn't have minded, that's for sure!

i won't pretend not to be biased. i've noted in many xiv posts that it hurries through its political plots to get to the magic stuff. i felt more conscious of it in heavensward and especially in stormblood. i made peace with it in endwalker. with dessert this good, who am i to complain? i can do small character drama on my own time. for now, the game wants royce to be a big damn shonen hero, and that can be fun, too.

speaking of characters, urianger and estinien have grown on me. this is the arc where, for me at least, the scions have congealed. they're all good, but with any large cast and custom player character, you tend to form the meatiest bonds with a few specific ones. i think royce appreciates urianger's cooler, more mature head. they're both so formal. he realizes she's someone he can confide in. i think she sees estinien as a gifted, but hotheaded whelp, which i find very funny. patience, child. stop sulking. do your breathing drills.

i love thancred's MGS sequence and in from the cold too. they're stressful, but i love that the team tried, you know what i mean? the fact that you can fight enemies in a pinch makes those duties way more bearable than some other games that experiment with stealth.

in from the cold as a whole, honestly. If You Know, You Know

all right, i can't avoid referencing spoilers anymore, sorry. there's a sense of classical tragedy to the whole elpis sequence. it's like watching macbeth or hamlet. you know how it's going to end, and you know you're powerless to stop it, but if they'd just made that different choice! but we had to leave eden. the warrior of light had to end up where they are to finish what elpis started. i don't do fate/destiny plots, but this? i'll take it.

i also knew what would happen going into ultima thule and still came away from it moved. it's strong writing. that's all there is to it. sure, the visuals are haunting, but the dialogue has to sell a gauntlet of difficult character moments, and it pulls it off. on the design side, there's some interesting intentional friction that forces you to linger in the zone and sit with its sense of despair. that part where you have to search the empty park for signs of life? oof

with the majority of the MSQ under my belt, i started sniffing around for what else there is to do ingame. i tried ninja. did terribly. i tried sage. did terribly too, but at least that gave me access to the healer role quests, which, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). the nier raids are gorgeous. i even did the controversial werlyt quests, and terncliff is so cute. i kind of wish we could have another story there!

what's next? i dunno! right now i'm burning through the hildibrand quests before i continue on with endwalker's patch story. the field operation stuff seems interesting to do after the MSQ, in a "hey, you saved the world, but we have more missions for you" way. i've also contracted Triple Triad Collector Disease, so that'll keep me busy for a long time.

all right. one last thing. Real Gamer Moments: i was in a mount-farming party recently, and i said that i sort of collected mounts, but only used the ishgardian chocobo. it's a roleplay thing - it's the chocobo royce took when she ran away from ishgard. one of the party members said "haurchefant would be proud of you." AUGH

[myaoiboy]

Can you try explain what you mean about Ocelot looking like a drag king in mgsv? I feel like your boyfriend in that I just. Don't see it? I'm trying to understand why Ocelot would even have that applied when he's always been just A Guy™

Okay so I'm going to try to do this without getting into Grad-Level 5D Queer Theory Media Criticism, but I also fully realize that in doing that, a lot of this is going to sound very much like I'm saying "Source: Just Trust Me Bro".

(anon i am SO sorry that you happen to be the first person to directly adress me about gender in MGS)

I also wanna be straight up front here and say that I'm not trying to imply that Ocelot is anything other than a guy, he's just also a guy who's playing a million roles (this is important) and lying to damn near everyone, including himself. He has some of the worst identity issues I've ever seen in a character, and that comes to a head in 4 where he literally isn't even *Ocelot* until the final moments of his life. So yes, for the sake of not writing War and Peace, I'm going to assume Ocelot is "just a guy" and come at this from a pure queer theory/media analysis standpoint, not a headcanon one.

So first it's really important to point out the order in which we see Ocelot through the series. In the timeline, the last time we see Ocelot before V is 3 (or PO which I haven't played due to its placement in canon-limbo, but Ocelot looks basically the same). So we see him go from A to B here.

I am going to say something potentially controversial: even before saw V ocelot, I thought 3 Ocelot looked like he was wearing drag *queen* makeup. I don't know whether it's intentional, or an attempt to circumvent the lower poly models and lower definition textures of the PS2, but the first image looks like someone who is going for a highly exaggerated, feminine cheek contour. Here's a few drag queens who, imo, do a very similar contour look:

Whether the color filter or the texturing of the PS2 or something else, the MGS3 version of Ocelot also has a look of mascara and frosted lipgloss (frosted lips being much more popular at the time of MGS3's original release than today, but alas).

So from that I was already very much primed to look for femininity in Ocelot's whole vibe. It was actually kind of jarring how much more rugged he is in V than in any of the previous games, to the extent that it sent up alarm bells in my head that something was going on.

I don't remember the moment that I went "hey, wait a minute," but it was certainly pretty early on. As someone who's been on tumblr a hella long time and remembers when we used to swap passing tips, the specific combination of facial features remind me of a very specific genre of "ftm makeup tutorials" that were also pretty contemporarily popular on tumblr. A very quick summary being mascara on the eyelashes and specific peach fuzz to give the impression of a squarer jaw and having more facial hair, as well as specific contouring to give a "masculine cheekbone." Most of these tips basically came directly from drag king makeup.

Gonna include some drag kings as well, some things to notice include the tendency towards using stubble as contouring and vice versa, the shaping of cheek contouring, and the tendency to accentuate mustache and sideburns.

I'm pretty bad at wording descriptions of hair and makeup so you'll have to forgive me for not going ham on explaining the similarities bc now we actually get to the interesting part which is: so fucking what? If this is true, if you take my word for it, what does it say about the text? If I want to make this argument to someone else, what can I say that will convince them that, even if it's not *intentional,* it's a valid and meaningful view of his character?

Like, you can make a character based on anything you want, but why does it matter whether Ocelot is based on drag either direction?

Ocelot's "drag"iness is multipurpose. One: he's queer. Like, I grant that he never comes out and says "I love 'Big "Naked 'John' Snake" Boss'" but we get a hell of a lot more confirmation that he's gay than we get straight confirmation for a lot of presumed-straight characters. I feel comfortable saying he's canon queer.

Two: it's a visual metaphor for being a double/triple agent. While he's literally performing several roles (KGB/GRU/CIA, or MSF/Real BB/US, or US/Patriots/BB, or anything in between), he's also visually playing two (or more) gender roles, a feminine man, a mannish woman, something neither or in-between. The implication of drag specifically is pretending to be something that he isn't (which he literally always is, holy shit, again, does he even know who he realiy is?).

And before anyone says "Well, if it's so important to his character, why did they wait until 3 to start doing it?" They didn't!!

This is THE most classically masculine that Ocelot ever looks. But there's still precious polygons invested into giving him long hair and a flowing coat. Working with sprites and low-poly models means having to very carefully select traits that you want to display on your character, and Ocelot's go into making him a cringefail cowboy.

The fact that he's a cowboy in itself is also pretty important to the whole gender/sexuality situation. I mean, Brokeback Mountain might not have been out yet, but the male-to-female ratio in the west meant a lot of men cozied up together on the frontier. Hell, hankey code comes from cowboy culture, with men wearing certain colors to announce who would take the "man" or "woman" role while square dancing.

I could go a lot into gender and how it works on a social/societal level in general and why that matters, but OOPS I have been writing this for a WHILE.

I was actually going to go a lot more into queer theory and gender in MGS in general but ngl, I could write a whole doctoral thesis on gender and how different characters perform or subvert gender. Because holy shit when you start peeling back the very thin macho facade of Kojima's work to do a feminist reading of it, boy howdy do you get. A whole lot to talk about. (ask me about death stranding sometime i dare you)

Basically what I'm trying to get across is that Ocelot has a lot of roles that he's playing and NOT playing, and more than a few of those are gender roles, which is very much visually symbolic of his character.

I am so sorry anon I have been thinking about him nonstop for a full year </3 I hope at least the first part of this answered your question about what features I see that scream drag to me.

[ofliterarynature]

FEBRUARY 2024 WRAP UP

[loved liked ok nope dnf (reread) book club*]

The Djinn Waits a Hundred Years • The Memory Librarian • Pixels of You* • Arch-Enemies • Moby Dyke • Pip Bartlett���s Guide to Magical Creatures • A Sinister Revenge • Lud in the Mist • Crying in H Mart • Something Close to Magic • Hula • (Renegades) • The Divorce Colony • Foundryside • Earthlings • A Far Wilder Magic

total: 13 books (12 audiobook, 1 print)

Not as many books this month! And not just because February has fewer days, I was really in a funk this month and struggling to pay attention to my audiobooks (and enjoy them). You wouldn't think there's such a thing as too many books, but I think the overtime hours at work are hitting their peak mental health destruction. Here's to hoping things improve in March!

The Divorce Colony (4.5 stars) - genuinely can't believe this was my 3rd nonfic of the year already! I picked a print copy of this up at a library sale in December after hearing about divorce colonies in the early 20th century on a recent episode of the 99% Invisible podcast. Turns out this book was actually about the beginning of the moment that took place in Sioux Falls, South Dakota in the 1800's. Western states had shorter residency periods and less strict divorce laws, so women (and the occasional man) would travel west and live there for several months in order to obtain a divorce. This book tracks the movement through the stories of 4 of the more infamous cases to make the papers, and does an incredible job of weaving in the surrounding political and religious discussions. Would recommend, and has a great cover to boot!

Renegades (3 stars) - a reread, and for some reason it was torture. I originally read this back in 2018 and loved it, and wanted to tackle it again and actually finish the rest of the series. But I kept getting worked up and frustrated this time around! It kept trying to take itself seriously while also being very YA and kind of superhero-camp, and I was absolutely overthinking it lol. I found the strength to press on into book two, Archenemies (3.5 stars). I liked it a bit more! Something about it being new, the story being a bit more settled and maybe getting a better grasp on its message/politics, the characters growing more, me figuring out that I shouldn't listen to the audiobook for more than an hour or so at a time, lmao. Not great, but fun, and possibly worth reading? I'll keep y'all updated when I finish book 3.

Hula (5 stars) - incredible. Part generational family story, part history, part discussion of what it means to be Hawaiian, culturally and legally. Not always the easiest of reads, but it was so so worth it. It was also doing something very interesting with parts of the narration voiced by a collective "we" (culture/community?) that I would love to get a look at in print. Highly recommend, I'll definitely be getting myself a copy.

Something Close to Magic (4.5 stars) - an absolute delight! The Gail Carson Levine comp on this one is not entirely unearned, anyone who's a fan of fairy tale type fantasies will enjoy this, I had a great time! Very interestingly, it has characters who are in their mid to late teens, but is written in a way where they're still allowed to be young, to the point I'm surprised it didn't get shoehorned into MG instead of YA. If the author writes any more of these I'd be happy to read them.

Crying in H Mart (3.5 stars) - nonfic number 4! I'm sure everyone's heard of this one by now, which is why I finally picked it up. It's fine (which is why it got an extra .5 star), but on the scale of take it or leave it, I'd leave it. It just wasn't for me and I kind of wish I'd dnf'd it. A great cover though.

Lud-in-the-Mist (3.5 stars) - this one seems to be considered a sort of early precursor to fantasy and fairy tale type stories from the early 20th century, and I was eager to try it! While I definitely don't think it would feel out of place amongst it's more recent fellows (think the Last Unicorn, Robin McKinley, DWJ, etc), I absolutely could not get into it. Probably the chief recipient of "my brain doesn't want to cooperate, sorry," so maybe I'll give it another shot someday.

A Sinister Revenge (4 stars) - enjoyable as always! Not to hide this deep in my reviews or anything, but have the Emily Wilde people tried Veronica Speedwell yet?

Pip Bartlett's Guide to Magical Creatures (3 stars) - This one's been sitting unread on my shelf for a while, and since I was on a bit of a Maggie Stiefvater run, I figured it was perfect! Well. Unless you are like 7, this was so bad. Not good. Having previously read and not liked a book by Maggie's co-author Jackson Pearce, I think it would not be unreasonable for me to assume she did most of the writing while Maggie did the illustrations - if the audiobook had been any longer than 4 hours I'd have absolutely DNF'd it, and I have no intention of continuing the series.

Moby Dyke: An Obsessive Quest to Track Down the Last Remaining Lesbian Bars in the Country (4.5 stars) - part of me was wondering what I was doing trying this lol, not being someone who drinks or goes to bars, OR, as previously mentioned, is not the biggest fan of memoirs. It was not, as I hoped, also part research project, but it is a travelogue, and as a consequence has a strong narrative thread. It also has a lot of discussions about issues in the LGBTQ+ community, and overall I really liked it once I figured out what it was doing!

Pixels of You (3.5 stars) - a very short sapphic rivals-to friends-to lovers graphic novel about a human-form AI and a human with an android eye competing for a photography internship at an art gallery. The creators clearly put SO much thought into their characters and worldbuilding, but sadly there is nowhere near enough length here to do it all justice, and a number of elements felt very odd or under explored. The relationship parts are great! I just think this needed to be twice as long to really given everything its due, or maybe explored in prose instead.

The Memory Librarian (3.5 stars) - to start, I know nothing about the musical album this is related to, so I don't know how much that might have affected my reading. Overall I wasn't super impressed - when I discovered that the first story was cowritten by Alaya Dawn Johnson - no shade to her - I almost dropped it then, I just really didn't like her writing style in the one book I've read. But I stuck through it. Of the five stories, only one really stuck in my mind - Nevermind, cowritten by Danny Lore, which I could have read an entire novel about. I wish I could recommend it on its own, but overall I just don't quite understand the world Monae has created.

The Djinn Waits a Hundred Years (3.5 stars) - I probably should say more about the book, it was fine, I was surprised to find that it's set in relatively current day, I found myself a lot more interested in the second narrative about the house's history, which did make me cry a bit. Mostly though, I really just want to let you know how MUCH of a non-entity the djinn was in this story, I have no idea why it was there and why it was included in the title of the book. All the author had to do was make the house a little more sentient and haunted and it would be fine, idk. Read it if you want, but it's not one I would rec.

DNF'S

Foundryside - I was so ready. I had the first two audiobooks checked out, I had the third one on hold. I started this but oh, the writing. bleh. I was looking thought reviews and someone referred to it as something like "21st century internet speak." In a high fantasy novel. I noped out at just 10%.

Earthlings - I've considered the author's other book before but haven't read it, but thought maybe a sci-fic book would work better for me? The beginning was odd but not uninteresting, and I might have continued if it had stayed that way. But then the main character was in school(?) and her teacher started getting handsy after class and I wasn't invested enough to stick it out.

A Far Wilder Magic - the success of Something Close to Magic made me a little too hopeful I think, bc while I'm still a little leery around YA, I know people have liked this. And it sounded interesting, truly, and I love the cover. But first it was the religion stuff. And I didn't really like the characters. Then it's like, oh, this is the same plot as The Scorpio Races, but nowhere near it's quality in any shape or form. I decided to stop while I was ahead, before I started to actually dislike it. (anyway here's your PSA to go read The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater, I recommend doing it in October if you can).