#streamer just called him a goofy name for an old man

[yappacadaver]

I love his Japanese first person pronoun choice

[nerdyenby]

Aqua time :D I’m watching Impulse

This team’s chemistry is wild, their practice stream was so much fun, I’m so hyped :))

They’re all so confused and silly goofy, I love them

“I’m twerking” “Ok, you can twerk if you want to” already so chaotic I’m so excited

Rocket Spleef

Sneeg being one of Illumina’s first big twitch follows :))

Already bullying the drunk team, as they should lmao

Impulse saying they should target pink and accidentally killing Jack in the first round 😂

“I genuinely can’t remember the names of any of the maps, to be honest” “… wait there’s names?” Illumina 😭😭😭

Impulse top ten!!!!

A whole team of ethogirls calling noxcrew fanboys 🤨

Hole in the Wall

“The platform!! The platform’s a fish!!!!” “Looks more like a squid, to be honest” “It-… I hate this team” 😂😂😂

“We can just hate each other, that’s really good for synergy” Sneegsnag my beloved

Joel popping off!!!!!!!

This team’s vibes are so great, they’re so funny and so supportive, everyone’s so happy for Joel :))

“I got severe adhd, I have to make noises, man. The medicine doesn’t stop that, it stops the worms in my brain” REAL

I don’t think I knew Sneeg had adhd, like, I ~knew~ but I don’t think I’ve heard him say it (I have adhd and am a psychologist lmao)

Did they all get top 15 there????

Good comms and comm appreciation :))

JOEL IS A GR HATER???!?!! It’s okay everyone has flaws /lh

Impulse calling Sneeg old my beloved

“Let’s game til we die” being an almost entirely serious response to this conversation is so /pos

Sky Battle

Sneeg is giving such a good and thorough run down, what a guy

Rip Impulse

Sneeg hyping up Sniff :))

“You’re scaring me, bud” “I’m scaring myself” Illumina is so real for this, honestly

Impulse doing a lil sing-song after killing Etho

Joel using they/she for Sniff <33333

Meltdown

They’re doing so well!!

Sneeg popping off!!!

Aw rip, got sandwiched but kept morale high

Them being playfully upset at how well cyan are doing :))

*Tubbo falls into lava* “That’s what alcohol does to you, kids” JOEL 😂

Impulse 21st after the first half!!!!! That’s my streamer!!!!

Battle Box

This isn’t going great lol

Yeah, this map is rough

Ace Race

Sneeg’s deadpan “wiggle wiggle wiggle” is way funnier than it should be lol

“Imma vibe” “Imma vibe, too. I might yell, but it’s alright” I love this team so much

I BLINKED and impulse recovered from 40th to 17th, he’s doing so well!!!!!!

Iirc, Impulse has been neck and neck with every one of his teammates, they could all get top half!!!!

Impulse slipping up the exact same way Sneeg just did 😭😭😭

Holding hands in the early 20s <333

Grid Runners

Sneeg being so excited about the new pig room :D

THE GOLF COMPLETION OF LEGEND!!!!!!!

That was a smooth dunk tank

“OH my boy!!! Get at it!!” “What are we doing?” “You’re redstoning, you’re redstoning!!!!!” Sneeg hyping up Impulse my beloved <333

“THATS MY REDSTONE MONSTER!!!!! DUDE, ATTABOY, LETS FUCKING GO!!!!” “Swearing!!” “SORRY” I love this team so much, you guys don’t understand

FIRST OVERALL THOSE ARE MY GUYS!!!!!!!

Everyone had their moment to shine :)))

Easily one of the best gridrunners of all time

No one else knew repeaters could go through walls, same here bro

“Very convenient gridrunners for us, I gotta say: trident for me, redstone for you, whacking people for Illumina,… Joel was here”

“This team has some freaking synergy” “Aw dude, I just really love playing minecraft with good people” I DEMAND more Sneeg and Impulse teams

Joel sot hater????? Smh

Sands of Time

“I’m such a lil menace for sands, bro” Sneeg is so based you guys

The new sound 😭😭😭

Impulse is such a chill sandkeeper, it’s really nice

Illumina taking one for the team

First out, ruh roh…. It’s not necessarily a bad sign but it’s a bit demoralizing

Impulse tossing all the tomatoes so other people can’t throw them at Illumina <33

“Wait, we’re aqua” Sneeg 😂

IMPULSE 23RD!!!!!!! MY STREAMER!!!!!!!!!

Dodgebolt

Them being happy for whoever wins :))

Love how you can tell Joel and Oli are genuine, irl bffs because of how they talk, it’s all smack talk, they’re kinda brothers-coded

Hyping up and then immediately bullying Oli lol

Impulse said shit!! Technically “shat” but same thing

“There was an a in there” “Yeah, it’s different, guys”

Great times, great vibes, incredible team <333

[megbonney]

this year has felt way too fast because i realise for 80% of it i was getting mentally rotted by men. let's do a wrapped (of the ones i haven't forgotten).

EBF: first bf for like 2 years. i cut off my best friend under his influence. tried to convince me they were grooming me. tried to convince me i wasn't genderfluid. tried to get his therapist to therapise me. tried to get me to see a therapist. dropped out of school and had virtually no ambition. i had to pretend to be straight infront of his friends. accused me of cheating on him with one of said friends. i felt like he was cheating on me with my "friend" at the time. i had no one besides him. he was attached to me like a parasite and i hated it. dumped him. couldn't handle just staying friends. also killed my self image. went celibate after. oh and he went thru my dms bc that's totally normal. cancer man. 2. RICHIE RICH: was into him during "friends" stage with EBF. met on ow but never really played together. went to a private roman catholic school. led me on. sent me music recs but they were too indie for my teen angst at the time. "friend" made me let her follow him bc she's weird. he didn't see anything wrong with it despite my discomfort. got sick of it bc he was stringing me on and blocked me for being upset. also was confused as to why i wasn't able to go shopping every wknd and didn't understand why i wanted a job bc he was privileged and had an allowance. i tried to meet up but he folded. followed me back on insta 2 or so weeks ago. we haven't spoken. goofy 3. COWORKER: met at first shift. i called him pretty bc that's the only word to rlly describe him and he told other coworkers i tried to ask him out. shorter than me. played war thunder. was really sweet at first. suddenly had coworkers asking if i'd date him. realised he was running his mouth. we watched fury and bladerunner 2077 together. began going dry after i told him i was moving. started being a dickhead. started telling coworkers i was a lesbian. i tried to sort it out but he tried to gaslight me about it. i think he quit atp. good riddance 3. NARC: 23 or 21 yr old man idk. bastion main. had a gf i didn't know abt. treated me like a gf. had an entire fake life. claimed to be a "narcissist and compulsive liar." talked abt his ex the entire time. very degrading. i found his ig and he was actually ugly af. only good thing was that he wasn't codependent. ghosted him after he went dry on me when i got my period. msged his gf and it's been like a month or two without a response. he bought me nitro tho so that was sick. 4. FURRY: was friends with him at the same time as NARC. he also knew about COWORKER because it was roughly right as we met. wanted to be a musician and twitch streamer. 19. balding. had a mommy kink but tried to make me sub. gained feelings for me. i friendzoned him. then he tried to say he was in love a week later. he was parasite #2. friends with MANCHILD. double texted all the time. gooner. cut him off. tried to create tension between fig and i. into the weirdest shit i've ever seen. objectified me. genuinely liked oliver tree. also bought me nitro. 5. MANCHILD: turned 20 like last week. had a gf. never hung out with her. spent everyday hanging out with fig and i. was too stupid so him and fig argued often. tried to make me mediate. most stressful time of yr. i bought him 2 games and he lied to his gf about where he got them from. he also lied about why he got rdr2. backseat gamed everything. whiny. asked me how many fingers i could fit on vc at 2am. also asked me if i'd ever have a 4sum with fig . is now insisting i trapped him because i told people about what happened. 6. CURRENTLY: nothing! i probs forgot some things but a funny thing to note was that i know every guy on this lists' names and most info about them. it was also hard because i wanted to keep all of them approx the same length. happy 2023 ?

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

please please a part 2 of that gamer!geralt au, them doing something like Q&A

Nonie, I hope you know what you signed up for. This got out of hand lmao. like 2.4k of Q&A kind of out of hand. 

Warnings: swearing, talk of drinking to excess, kinda spicy questions, lil kisses, idk how but I meant for this to be goofy and horny and it got kinda soft? what’s new?

____________

“Holy shit,” Geralt sat staring at his phone as he mindlessly stirred pasta.

“I swear to god, if you found a way to burn noodles-” Jaskier turned away from the blender to wave a wooden spoon covered in pesto puree.

Geralt shook his head and held his phone up to him, scrolling through the replies to a tweet as he did, going on for ages as Jaskier’s jaw slowly got closer to the floor.

“What are those for?!”

“I put up a poll for a boyfriend Q&A or a game review and not a single person has voted for the game review.” Geralt was still scrolling through questions people wanted answered as he watched Jaskier’s face go from shock to confusion to a smug grin. 

“They love me,” he sang, kicking his heel up as he turned back to the pasta sauce.

Geralt rolled his eyes and started screenshotting some of the less invasive questions, shaking his head and muttering, “Course they do.”

-

Geralt pressed record, waited a moment, and heaved a dramatic, long-suffering sigh, “You guys literally didn’t even give me a choice on this one,” he reached off frame and scruffed Jaskier, plopping him down on the couch with him. 

Jaskier didn’t stay where he was put for even a moment, using his momentum to bounce up onto Geralt’s lap with a shit-eating grin, “Oh? Are we rolling?”

Geralt dropped his forehead to Jaskier’s shoulder, stifling a laugh, “This is gonna be a long one.”

“Yeah, it is,” Jask agreed, then turned to the camera, stroking Geralt’s hair, “My fans want more!”

“OH-kay,” Geralt manhandled Jaskier to sit next to him which earned him a pout and a leg draped over his lap as he continued his intro, “I’ve got a bunch of questions from twitter. I didn’t even have to confirm which video we would do, you guys just went straight for the kill. I picked a few, Jask picked a few, neither of us knows which ones the other picked.” he turned to see Jaskier wiggle his eyebrows at the camera, “Why am I thinking you picked the raunchy ones?”

The brunet pretended to be offended before he smirked, “Only a few.”

Geralt rolled his eyes. “Of course,” he nudged Jask with his shoulder and opened up his phone to his screenshots, “Okay! First up is AdamSandlersBitch, nice name. They asked what Jaskier’s favorite gaming console and game to play is.” he turned to Jaksier with raised eyebrows.

His boyfriend cringed, “My.. my phone? I don’t know? I play a lot of Candy Crush while I listen to podcasts?”

Geralt smiled sweetly, “Wait what about Stardew Valley? I thought you started that?”

“I did!” Jaskier brightened up for a moment before he deflated again, “But I got confused and then the ADHD made me bake cookies.”

“Those were good cookies. I’ll play with you if you want?” Geralt’s normal ‘streamer dude’ persona melted away while he played with the rips on Jaskier’s jeans. 

Jask leaned forward and kissed his temple, “I’d love that.” 

Geralt blushed, even after years, Jaskier’s affection still caught him off guard. 

“Mkay! My turn!” Jaskier flashed his devilish grin and read, in his most obnoxious voice, “Dwn2Clwn said ‘do you two live together? Have you said ‘i love you’? And who tops?’”

Geralt’s mouth twisted into an upside-down U as he stared at Jaskier in muted surprise, “Honestly, not as bad as I expected.”

Jaskier looped his arm around Geralt’s, “I’m starting off easy.”

Geralt let his mock-disapproving gaze linger just a bit before he answered, “The living together is kind of new-like a few months. This one said ‘I love you’ on, what? The fourth date? Fifth?”

“Fourth.”

“No, it was the fifth, Eskel locked himself out on the fourth. Remember?”

“Shit you’re right,” Jaskier gave the camera a stern look, “In my defense, we’d been friends for a good four years before this. I wasn’t just confessing my love to a tinder date - though I have done that before.”

Geralt nodded, “That was very amusing.”

Jaskier tapped his nose, “Don’t avoid the last part, darling.”

Geralt huffed and stared down the camera, and, in the most matter of fact tone possible, said, “We switch. Compromise, folks. Can’t have one person doing all the work all the time.”

Jaskier nodded sagely, patting Geralt's chest, “We got a pow-”

Geralt clamped his hand over Jaskier’s mouth, 100% sure he was going to say ‘power bottom pillow princess’, “Nope. I’ll get demonetized for that.”

“But not who tops?” Jaskier asked through Geralt’s fingers.

He just shrugged, “I don’t make the rules.”

Jaskier tapped his phone and raised his eyebrows, telling him to move to the next question. 

“Mis- Mischanication? Shit I hope I said that right, Mischanication asked, ‘would you ever get a pet together?’ We did! Her name is Roach and she’s a little shit! I told Jaskier not to feed her, but he did, now we have the snuggliest, crankiest cat I’ve ever met!” 

Jaskier had gotten up to pluck Roach from her perch on the windowsill when Geralt had read the question and plopped down with her as Geralt finished his proud speech, “She’s not a little shit! She’s just delicate! Isn’t that right, darling?”

Geralt scratched under her chin and cooed, “You are a nasty little dragon baby, aren't you?! Just a little garbage child! Yes, you are. We love the tiny demon beast.”

“Geralt!”

He snickered and kissed Jaskier’s hair, “Next question, love.”

Jaskier grumbled something about positive reinforcement as Roach scampered back to her cat tree and he unlocked his phone for his next tweet, “This darling wants to remain anonymous,” Geralt gave him some serious side-eye at that, “they said ‘I think I’m in love with the flower twink, where can I find one of my own?’”

Geralt frowned at the camera and pulled Jaskier onto his lap, holding him close and snuggling into his chest, almost growling, “Hands off.”

Jaskier giggled, brushing Geralt’s hair out of his face as he talked to the camera, “You heard the man. Unfortunately, I was not mass-produced and I’ve been spoken for.”

Geralt looked up at him with what could only be called suspicious puppy eyes, “You picked that one just to sit in my lap didn’t you?”

“Yes. And because I want to change my socials to ‘flower twink’.” 

“Do it,” Geralt kept Jaskier on his lap as he swiped to his next question, “Eggsfuckingsuck - heh, my dad hates eggs- Eggsfuckingsuck says, ‘what is the most embarrassing thing you’ve caught each other doing/saying?’ Oh boy, do I have a story for you!”

"Oh I couldn't say the thing but you can tell this story!?" 

"...you have a point... Check my insta stories. I'll put it there after I post this." 

Jaskier nodded, ever so pleased, and turned to the camera, "Our dear Yennefer of sorceryglammour once beat Geralt at trivia night when the theme was 'video games'." 

“We did shots before we went to the bar and she goaded me and Lambert into a chugging competition before the round started. I’m telling you, she planned this. Yen is ruthless.” Geralt desperately tried to justify his defeat but Jaskier was having none of it. 

“She’s mostly harmless, plus I have video evidence from that night. You weren’t that far gone.”

“Pull it up! Let’s settle it.”

Jaskier patted Geralt’s head like one would a toddler, “I’d have to get my old laptop out. Later, darling.”

Geralt had a smug look on his face, “That means he doesn’t have it anymore.”

“Next question!” Jaskier squeaked, not at all changing the subject. 

Geralt shrugged, “If you admit I won that one.”

“It’s not a competition!” Jaskier laughed, looking down at him with that stupidly smitten look on his face.

“Hmmm…” Geralt tilted his chin up defiantly, “if you say so.”

Jaskier kissed him, lingering a little bit more than could be considered chaste, “I do.” 

Geralt looked up at him, batting his eyelashes, “Fine then, next question.”

Jaskier handed him his phone and he read it off leaning his head on Jaskier’s shoulder, “CountryBumpkin42 asked if we play any instruments. I play the recorder very poorly, but Jask plays everything.”

“Not everything, but yes, I could cover a Trans Siberian Orchestra song if I had a pedalboard with enough loop settings.” Jaskier preened. 

“And more,” Geralt added, counting on his fingers as he spoke, “In this house alone he has two pianos, three different types of guitars, a drumset, a violin and fiddle, a flute and piccilo, an oboe, a mandolin, a lute, bongos, saxophone, clarinet, tambourine, trumpet, and xylophone. Did I get them all?”

Jaskier glanced from side to side with a guilty look, “Ah… no, I bought a bass sax that showed up last night.”

“Oh, did Thursday at 3 decide they wanted to switch after all?”

“Yeah! She got the third chair as a freshman on a loaner instrument! I’m very proud!”

Geralt seemed to remember they were recording and turned back to the camera, “J teaches music at the university and does private lessons.” 

“It’s how I can afford such a pretty trophy boyfriend,” Jaskier teased, ruffling Geralt’s hair and earning a little chuckle.

“Mkay, what do you have next?”

Jaskier smoothed Gearalt’s hair back down as he read the next question, “3R4108F6!J asks if we have any cute nicknames for each other.”

Geralt’s eyebrows nearly flew past his hairline, “J has a new one for me almost every day.”

“Its true,” Jaskier nodded, “I am a slut for cute nicknames. This morning was Ger Bear, one of my faves. I called him Thumbs for a bit, I lovingly call him Dumb Fuck rather often.”

“And he is Dip Shit, it’s balanced. I usually just shorten names? Jask or J is usually it, right?” Geralt asked, shifting so Jaskier was sitting on the couch between his legs and they were both turned out toward the camera but very much still cuddling. 

“And when I’m being childish I get Alfie. But Geralt is much more deliberate and specific with his nicknames. It’s a bit of a friendship level up when he uses nicknames.”

Geralt frowned at him, “I do that?”

Jaskier giggled, “You never noticed?”

He tilted his head, giving Jaskier a quizzical look, “Not at all.”

Jaskier cupped Geralt’s cheek, “You’re so cute.”

Geralt blushed again, leaning into the touch just a tad, “Who’s turn is it?”

“Yours,” Jaskier hummed, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. 

“Okay,” Geralt blushed even more, “I had this one as an alternate, but uh, Yen asked what we’d name our first kid?” 

Jaskier leaned into Geralt’s shoulder and hummed as he thought for a moment, “I always like Blake or Spencer, but I seem to remember you saying something about old world traditional names?”

Geralt nodded, absentmindedly running his fingers up and down Jaskier’s arm, “My grandma was hoping each of us boys would be a girl and wanted mum to name us Cirilla every time. I quite like it, but I’m rather open as long as I don’t know someone with the name. I really like Eric?” 

“Oo, I like Eric.”

“But you like the neutral names.”

“I do, but it’s your hypothetical kiddo too.”

Geralt gave him a little squeeze, “There’s time for that later. What’s your next one?”

Jaskier snorted when he looked at his phone, “What are your guys’ love languages?”

Geralt just looked down at Jask, completely entangled in his arms, then up to the camera, “I’m gonna hazard a guess at physical touch.” 

“Yeah, I think that’s a safe bet,” Jaskier giggled, “I haven’t taken the quiz in years, but I was that and gifts.”

“Oh, yeah. Physical touch and words of affirmation. I got like a 0 on acts of service and gifts, but I really like giving gifts.” 

“Mhm, yes you do,” Jaksier wiggled his eyebrows, then turned to the camera, “I also had no idea you could have different giving and receiving languages till I met this one.”

Geralt nodded then turned to him with a slight frown, “you know I really thought your questions were going to be more graphic.”

“Oh, honey I saved the best for last,” Jaskier winked. 

“Fuck me,” Geralt grumbled before reading off his last question, “Cali852 asked what we did for Pride.”

Jaskier’s eyes lit up, “Oh Pride was fun. We watched the parade, of course, then Yen did our makeup and… and where did we go after that?”

Geralt looked like he’d been waiting for this, “We went to a club, where you ordered three kamakazis, knocked them all back, danced for twenty minutes, then I took you home.”

“N-no… we went to the beach, didn’t we?”

“That was the year before. We were going to go to the drag show at our regular bar too, but someone had just finished grading finals and went a little too hard.” 

Jaskier grinned, “Speaking of finals, time for the last question. I had a different one in mind but if the thing I cant say from earlier would get this demonetized then that defintitelyi would. So we’re going with ‘what is the wackest placy y’all banged?’”

Geralt snorted, “Shit who knows anymore?”

“Well there was the boat?”

“Or the train?”

“Nah, too standard. What about the cabin?”

“Heh, no I think your o-”

“I don’t have tenure darling,” It was Jaskier’s turn to slap his hands over Geralt’s mouth, “The answer is a dilapidated structure my parents still try to call a cabin out in the foothills.”

Geralt laughed and pulled his hand away, “Okay, that can be the answer.”

“Is that it? Now we just say bye?” Jaskier looked between Geralt and the camera.

Geralt shrugged, “Yeah. You wanna say the thing?”

Jaskier wiggled with a little pride and excitement, “Don’t forget to like and subscribe! Bye Fuckers!”

They both waved for a couple seconds before Geralt got up and turned the camera off. He popped out the memory card and was going to immediately start loading it onto his computer but Jask hooked his finger through a belt loop as he walked past and tugged him back down. 

“I’m tired. Snuggle with me.” 

Geralt hummed, “We just snuggled that whole time.”

Jaskier heaved a dramatic sigh, “I know and this is exhausting. I don’t know how you talk to a camera all day.”

Geralt stretched to set the chip on top of his laptop before collapsing back on top of Jaskier who had stretched the length of the couch, “Are you making fun of me?” he teased. 

Jaskier cupped his face between his hands and pulled him up for a deep kiss, “Oh never.” 

[worksby-gabriella]

USO Girl?

Halloween!Steve x Halloween!female!reader

Summary: Steve and reader meet at a Stark Industries halloween party, but the reader is dressed up as a USO girl. 🇺🇸

Warnings: None really, just a terrible title.

Request from: @lighterthanstardust (technical difficulties with tagging at the moment)

Putting on the last few touches of your red lipstick, your phone dings.

Nat: Are you still coming? I wanna introduce you to some people :)

Y/N: On my way

Natasha had been begging you to come to Stark's Halloween party for the past month, you kept saying no because you're content with your little tradition of buying candy, curling up and watching horror movies every Halloween. But Natasha was persistent, and adamant about you going. She would come to your workplace at shield, whether you were training, taking a call, or welcoming a new recruit, and bother you until you gave in.

You were pretty sure the reason she wanted you at the party was so she could introduce you to her co-workers? Friends? Family? Whatever she called them, you've heard her refer to them as many different things over the years. And well, you guessed correct based off the text.

Shutting your door and walking out of your apartment complex, you could hear your silver kitten heels click clacking on the cement ground. Getting into your car and checking the adress off the piece of paper Natasha gave you, you turn on the ignition and speed off.

Pulling into the parking lot of a very tall building, that you assume is Stark Tower, you see a red headed figure standing out front.

As you park your car and get out, Natasha starts walking towards you. Pulling you in for a hug and letting go, she takes a good once over of your USO girl costume.

"Damn, 'might as well take you home tonight girl!" She says as she twirls you around.

"Thanks but look at you, Kim Possible!"

Natasha hooks her left arm with your right arm, as you both start walking towards the entrance.

"What are supposed to be anyway?"

"A USO girl, it was a last minute idea because I didn't have a costume. Had to rumage through my grandmother's closet." You answer.

"Hm, it's cute."

As you enter the building she leads you to an elevator, and punches the button that says: 17th floor. When the elevator stops, and opens you notice there's not as many people as you thought there would be. It seems to be more of a small get together for Halloween. To the right there's a group of five people, and Maria Hill whom you've talked to a good amount of times already, all sitting on white couches. There's about two handfuls of some other people scattered here and there, dress in different costumes.

"Tasha' where is everyone?" You whisper shouted as she led you to her friends, The Avengers.

"This is everyone, Y/N"

When Natasha and you reached the group she stopped in front of everyone and introduced you to them.

"Guys, this is Y/N, she works for shield."

"Hey!"

"Hello."

"Nice to finally meet you!"

"So you're the girl Nat keeps talking 'bout, eh?"

You knew who they all where so you didn't bother asking for names, instead you just said your "hi's" back and settled on the couch by Nat.

"Where's Steve?" Nat asked,

"The mans is old as dirt, he's probably just walking to slow. He'll be here eventually." As Sam says this he moves his eyes to you and asks,

"So what's up with the costume?"

"Sam reall-" Maria starts to say but you interrupt.

"Ha ha, it's okay Maria. I'm a USO girl, I didn't have a costume and it was a last minute idea, I had it on hand."

"Be careful, Y/N, gonna give Capsicle a stroke there."

They all chuckle at Tony's joke,

"Capsicle?"

"Just ignore Tony" Natasha says rolling her eyes and shaking her head.

After about an hour of conversation, and Halloween music playing in the background, you volunteer to get the second round of beer from Tony's bar. But Bruce stops you,

"Oh, you don't have to get them. Sit down I'll get it."

Not stopping and ignoring his offer you say,

"It's fine, I can get them."

He smiles warmly at you as you get up to go to the bar.

When you open the small refigerator door, you grab six beers including one for yourself. When you close the door and start to exist the bar you crash right into someone's hard chest.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry, i wasn't lookin-"

You cut your self off looking up. Completely mesmerized by the man in front of you. Steve Rogers. You knew he was attractive, but you didn't know he was this attractive.

Chuckling Steve tells you, "It's okay."

He looks down at the beers in your arms,

"Let me grab one for myself, then I'll help you carry those over there."

Waiting for him to grab one, he walks back to you, takes three cans from you, and taps the small of your back to signal you to start walking, sending a shiver down your back.

"So, a USO girl, eh?" Steve asked.

"Oh, yup, didn't have a costume."

"So then what's that?"

"My grandmother's"

Realizing what you said you just said you look at him with wide eyes.

"I am so sorry, I didn't mean to call you old."

Steve lets put a louder laugh causing everyone to watch both of you as you and him make your over to them.

"So, I see you've already met Steve." Nat says with her eyebrows raised.

Knowing what she's suggesting you roll your eyes and say,

"Yes, I have."

"So, I guess I was right. You did give him a stroke."

Everyone starts chuckling at Tony's joke while Steve shakes his head with a goofy smile on his face, looking down at his shoes.

"Hm?" You ask after taking a sip of your beer.

"Well the loud crash?"

"Oh! No, that was me dropping all the beer."

Everyone is moving onto different conversations but you an Steve keep talking. Asking eachother question after question, inventively listening to one another.

Nat was watching both of you out of the corner of her eye.

"So where's the costume old man?!" Sam says, sorta struggling to keep his eyelids open.

"Didn't know we were dressing up." Steve answers with a shrug.

"What?!? No way. Absolutely not. Who doesn't dress up for Halloween?"

"Apparently, Capsicle."

Jerking his head toward Tony he points at him saying,

"Hey! Who're you to talk Stark, you're not dressed up either."

"When you're Tony Stark, Rogers, you don't need a costume to be cool" Tony argues in his defense, flicking off some imaginary dust from his suit.

Everyone keeps talking, drinking, occasionally dancing, and getting drunker and drunker. But Steve has the inconveniency of not being able to get drunk, and you're so caught up in his baby blues that you completely forget you were drinking.

You're definitely drunk, but not from alcohol. You're drunk off of his seafoam eyes, his charm, his kindess, his authority, his every detail.

When two a.m rolls around, and everyone is drunk of thier asses they start heading up to a couple of floors higher, most likely to whatever rooms were up there to get some sleep, already dreading the morning after.

Since you and Steve were sober, well you were more sober than the rest, You and him stayed behind to clean up empty bottles, empty beer cans, and fallen decorations.

You pickup some beer cans to go to the bar and throw them away but when you come back, Steve asks you,

"Would it be wierd if I asked you out?"

"No, no it would not be wierd"

You're both smiling at eachother, Steve is holding orange, black and purple streamers in one hand, while your holding a beer bottle.

Next thing you know he's dropping the streamers, and walking to you.

He kisses you. Lips on lips. Moving so perfectly in sync. It's igniting, it's new, it's exciting, and brilliant. So brilliant that you drop the beer bottle to lay your hands on the nape of his neck, but the bottle has other plans. It crashes to the floor and shatters, causing you and Steve to pull away from eachother and chuckle.

As you both bend down to pick up the shattered peices he grabs your hand, and tilts you head up to look at him.

"So, will you go on date with me?"

"It would be crazy of me to say no, Steve"

My first actual fic!! I hope you've all liked it, btw I THRIVE of off feedback so please tell me what you've thought.

If you've liked this fic please like and reblog. REBLOGS HELP WRITERS A CRAP TON!!!

🤍💙🖤

[watermelonlipstick]

Dreams, Chapter 3

If you haven’t read this series before, you might want to start on Chapter 1, or check out the Dreams Masterlist! Here’s the series description:

When Dean dies for good leaving Sam and his girlfriend (the reader) behind, they must figure out how to carry on without him. Alone, reeling, and unsure what to do next, trying to honor Dean’s memory and follow their hearts gets even more complicated when their nightmares become dreams that feel a little too real.

Title: Dreams, Chapter 3

Pairing: (past) Dean Winchester x Reader, (eventual) Sam Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 2344

Summary: It’s Christmas in Wisconsin for Sam and the reader.

Warnings: angst (sensing a theme here), alcohol, slow burn

           Christmas Eve was a Thursday, which meant you were working. You’d predicted it would be slow, but there were big chunks of time where no one was in the bar at all. Christmas carols on the radio helped pass the time, and you drank a little more of the almost-coquito you’d thrown together in the back at the beginning of the shift than you needed to. It reminded you of your aunt and the way she’d smell of coconut through Boxing Day every year when you were growing up; welcome nostalgia you could tolerate like pressing a thumb into a bruise and distracted you from the evisceration of thinking of Dean. The day shift had left the bar understocked, so Sam spent a good amount of time going up and down the stairs refilling refrigerators and cutting fruit for drinks. Around 10 or 11 the people who didn’t want to wrap up the night when their in-laws went home straggled in, a handful of regulars that you generally liked but had a tendency to get a little rowdy when left alone together. It didn’t help that they showed up a few drinks in.

           The merriment was infectious, and it was sweet to hear grown men proud of the gifts they’d gotten their loved ones. One even brought a few bottles of homemade maple syrup to give to the others, sliding one sheepishly across the bar to you. You were pouring out a round of coquito when Sam came up from the basement with a towel tossed over his shoulder.

           “Everything should be good,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. He hadn’t cut it in months and the ends fell gracefully around his shoulders. A piece fell oddly across his forehead and you reflexively fixed it for him.

           “What did you two get each other?” a regular, Steve, asked with a relaxed finger pointing between you and Sam. His cheeks were ruddy with whiskey and winter air.

           “Oh. I—uh, we don’t really do gifts,” Sam offered placatingly.

           “Man, where did you find this girl? Listens to classic rock, drives a stick shift, and doesn’t ‘do gifts’?” another, Joe, added.

           “You better be buying her some presents or someone else will.” Jake, a customer you’d always felt safe around since he tossed out a rude guy for you a month back, chimed in.

           You and Sam had never explicitly said that you were together. People just assumed, and it was easier to go along with it than explain the truth, especially because you didn’t look similar enough to be siblings and you still couldn’t shake your need to cling to him from time to time. It was almost never an issue aside from periodic mild teasing. This Christmas talk was a departure from the non-explanations you and Sam usually gave and you found yourself waiting for a cue on where to go. Sam seemed to be having the same thought, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

           You spoke before the moment had a chance to become too pregnant. “You know how hard it is to buy presents for a guy who doesn’t like having stuff? If he buys me something, I’ll have to get him something too!” You hoped it sounded smooth, your lying out of practice in the months since you’d had a cover on a hunt. Sam smirked gratefully at you.  

           Joe shook his head wistfully. “Seriously, where did you find her?”

           “She’s pretty great, isn’t she?” Sam’s voice sounded sort of soft around the edges, almost like he was tired but not quite. When you looked up at him, that pebble of self-consciousness you’d felt at the hardware flipped in your stomach again and you glanced away in favor of a one-armed hug you intended to look affectionate. Sam did the same, encompassing your entire shoulder with his hand.

           When you drove home that night, warm and full of coquito, Sam played Christmas carols.

           “I think we should do gifts.”

           It was the first thing you thought when you woke up, and you said it into Sam’s chest as you laid there before you opened your eyes. You could tell from the rhythm of his breathing that he wasn’t all the way asleep.

           “Hmm?”

           “I think we should do gifts. We should really do Christmas if we’re going to do it, and that means presents. What do you think?”

           You felt as much as you saw out of the corner of your drowsy eyes that Sam raised his unpinned arm to rub the sleep out of his. “Mmm, okay? I mean if that’s what you want.”

           “Thank you,” you said as you nestled deeper into him.

           “‘S already Christmas though.” Sleep pulled Sam’s words together like taffy.

           “It can be goofy stuff; I just think we should open presents under a tree and everything. Seems like the kind of thing we should do, you know? Like trying to be normal.” You couldn’t bear saying out loud what you meant, that Dean would’ve wanted presents and stockings and eggnog and Santa hats and a big roast if he could’ve, to fall asleep after watching the stars glitter off of falling snow.

           Sam heard anyway.

           “You’re right,” Sam murmured. He rubbed your upper arm absentmindedly.

           “I’ll wake you back up when the bathroom’s free,” you offered, carefully rolling over him to get out of the bed. He nodded with closed eyes and flopped over onto his stomach.

           About an hour later, a wet haired Sam slid into the Impala’s driver side and rubbed his hands together to warm them up. You could tell from the puffiness around his eyes and his overcompensating casual tone that he’d been crying. He set his phone to pipe Your Inner Fish through the stereo and backed down the driveway over snow tamped down over the last week.

           It had been years since you’d gone Christmas shopping, as much as this could be considered Christmas shopping. The town you’d settled in had exactly 7 businesses on a tiny main street, including 1 small inn, a grocery store, the hardware store, a coffee shop (the most reliable internet in town, much faster than your place) and 3 different places to get a burger. You met Sam in the grocery store after grabbing what you wanted from next door in hardware, catching him just as he came out carrying a bag with a long pipe of wrapping paper stretching far past the top. When you left, there were only two other cars in the parking lot grabbing their own last-minute things.

           You wrapped your presents on the bed. It wasn’t like riding a bike as you’d hoped it would be, and your sloppy corners started you down a mental spiral. What a completely asinine thing, wrapping hardware store presents to put under a stolen tree. This wasn’t the Rockwell painting you wanted to present as sacrifice to Dean’s memory. It was cheap and stupid, a sloppy high school production when Dean deserved Broadway. He always had. As much as the three of you had never really done Christmas, Dean knew how to make something special while maintaining the air of not caring. You remembered waking up on his made-up anniversaries: six months from the first time you kissed, three years since he realized he loved you (three years minus 53 days before he said anything), 14 months since you’d figured out how to put a gun back together in the dark. Even in the most podunk little towns he’d find gorgeous bouquets and put together great meals in tiny kitchenettes; drive miles away to pick up a cake for Sam’s birthday or pepper motel rooms with festive streamers and silly string. Two quick, hard breaths through your nose to collect yourself and you finished the wrapping. That would have to be good enough.

           Sam was crouched in front of the fireplace with a bellows, a plucky little fire kicking into gear with his help. “All yours,” you called out, grateful your voice didn’t crack.

           “Thanks. It’ll only be a second.”

           He was right, and came back to you on the couch in only a few minutes with two wrapped bundles. You shyly handed him what you’d wrapped and took his.

           “Uh, Merry Christmas I guess,” Sam said. You noticed the edge of discomfort in his voice and were sickly grateful not to be alone in your tentativeness as you popped open the scotch tape holding the paper on the rectangular package. Before you’d uncovered it, Sam had his first gift unwrapped.

           “Nice! They had these at the hardware store?” he asked, snapping open the clamshell package on the cheap purple noise-cancelling earbuds you’d picked up.

           “I’m sure they’ll sound like they were made underwater, but I figured you could hide them pretty easily if you wanted to wear them at work, listen to your podcasts while you restock or whatever.”

           “That’s a really good idea.” He looked down at the headphones considerately for a beat.

           You pulled the paper off your present to reveal a notebook and two ballpoint pens. It had a leatherette flexible plastic cover that felt smooth under your fingertips and was about the size of a standard hardcover novel. You opened it to see inside, and a few photos dropped out.

           “I just—you didn’t have any—I can take them back if you want,” Sam stammered, but you heard him as if through those checkout-aisle headphones while your eyes blurred. These were pictures you hadn’t seen for years. The one on top of the loose stack in your lap was outside Bobby’s house. It felt like a lifetime ago, leaning over the railing of the small porch to kiss Dean as he stood on the ground in a sweaty t-shirt covered in engine grease. Under that was one you remembered used to be the background of an old phone, where you, Sam, and Dean huddled together in a booth at some bar you’d forgotten the name of in Montana that had girls dressed up as mermaids swim around in big tanks, part of the same theme that explained the blue fishbowl drink partly out of frame in Dean’s hands. There was one you didn’t recall with you and Dean stretched out on a nondescript motel couch, his arm protectively covering you as you coiled up into his side, both clearly asleep from the closed eyes and slightly parted lips. The last was a picture you hadn’t seen since the last time you went to Jody’s house; it had touched you then to see it hanging up on the wall, you carrying Dean piggyback while Sam clutched his knees laughing. It was the same day Claire had turned 16 and you had no idea why you’d needed to convince Dean you could carry him, but the whole thing had ended up with everyone rolling on the ground, grabbing at laugh-opened rib pains for what felt like blissful hours.

           You weren’t surprised at the silent tears that were pouring gently down your face, but wiped at them harshly with your sleeve so they wouldn’t drip. “Sam—” you croaked. “I don’t…I didn’t—thank you. How did you find these?”

           “They had an instant photo printer at the grocery store. I’ve had a flash drive with some stuff on it for a while.”

           You passed through each picture again, studying them like the gospel. It was almost hard to match the photos to the memories, memories having been replayed and multiplied and color-saturated in your mind over and over again, too big to fit into these little pieces of cardstock. But Dean was so beautiful, and you all looked so happy.

           “It’s supposed to help to write about how you’re feeling, so I thought…” Sam trailed off.

           “It’s perfect. I—thank you, Sam.” You met his eyes, stormy blue-green and taking on an amber reflection off of the fire. He looked nervous and almost guilty, like he had miscalculated and hurt you. Carefully slipping the photos back into the notebook, you set it on the table like it was made of crystal and threw your arms around Sam to tuck into him, knowing you were crying through his shirt but unable to stop. You realized you were murmuring thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou into the crook of his neck at the same time you felt the wetness of his tears onto your shoulder. Pulling him in tighter, you slunk back into the arm of the couch behind you. Sam slotted into the curve of your body, wrapping around your torso with powerful, gentle arms. His hair was silken when you began to stroke it, feeling his wracking sobs against your chest. It was impossible to gauge the amount of time it took for both of you to stop crying, skin slick and hot against each other on the old couch as your bodies hardened together like a mold. You felt dried out and sore and wouldn’t have pulled away from Sam if you’d had a gun to your head.

           “Man, and we were doing so well,” you hummed into Sam’s hair.

           “Were we?” Sam asked, and it was all you could do to laugh. Sam laughed too, the emotional and physical fatigue of it blending between you in the air. He adjusted his arm and you could feel the span of his hand across your lower back. The two of you sat there for a few more moments before you gathered up enough courage to let go of him.

           “Want to open the other one?”

           Sam nodded against your chest and slowly extricated himself, running a hand through his messed-up hair and rubbing his neck as he reached for the other present you’d gotten him. He tore through the paper unceremoniously and smiled down at the shoe repair glue and new boot laces. “You saw they split, didn’t you?”

           You smiled back at him. “Would’ve just gotten you a new pair of boots but, you know, late notice. Maybe this’ll buy you some time.”

           He handed you his second gift from the coffee table. Inside the foil-adorned wrapping paper were three bags of gummy worms.

-

Continue to Dreams, Chapter 4

Thanks again for reading! If you liked it, check out my Masterlist or send me a request!

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[seasonsofeverlark]

you & I (just meant to be)

Author: @rosegardeninwinter​

Prompt: This silly, silly ditty was inspired by two (count ‘em! two!) lovely prompts which are as follows “Peeta can’t stop staring at Katniss in her costume :0” and “Everlark meeting at a fancy dress party dressed as a ‘matching’ pair, although they don’t each other - maybe a famous couple but who don’t need the other … Joker and Harley Quinn, Batman and Robin or my favorite: Anna and Elsa from Frozen … Peeta would make a wonderful Anna” - I thought these two went well together, and took a couple of creative liberties to make them jive. Hope you lovelies like! [submitted by @deardiaryithinkiamaghost​ and @wendywobbles​]

Rating: T, for implied Everlark shenanigans 

Author’s Note: Thank you to my dear @archersandsunsets​ for her second pair of eyes on this one and to all the lovely moderators and coordinators of @seasonsofeverlark​, the true MVPs. It’s been a busy month, so I apologize for any incoherence. Sometimes, the heart just wants goofy modern AU fluff. Alrighty, Chatty Cathy is done … enjoy! 

____________

“Katniss, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Prim exclaims, though it sounds pretty pathetic with her congested, pinked nose. “You make the perfect ice queen!” 

“I don’t think that’s usually a compliment,” Katniss says dourly, plopping down on the couch where her sister is situated with several fuzzy blankets, a box of tissues, and a large bowl of ice cream. She can’t taste it very well, but it’s the spirit of the thing that counts. Prim is in denial. 

“I wish I could go,” she whines, holding the “o” in a long, dramatic note. 

“I wish I could stay,” Katniss shoots back, holding the “ay” just as long. 

“No you don’t,” Prim shoos. “You love our friends.” 

“I do,” Katniss sighs, plucking at the silver sequined sleeves of her—well, Prim’s—Elsa costume. It’s too long on Katniss, with her sister’s good half inch on her, but it’s all they’ve got. Her original plan was to pull the classic black top and pants plus cat ears, but when it became apparent Prim wasn’t budging from the couch this Halloween, the real snowy blonde princess of the family had insisted Katniss take her outfit. 

“You can’t show up to Finnick’s in a slapdash, last second costume, Katniss,” she’d said. “The man lives for Halloween. Don’t insult his extravagance with plastic headbands and tails.” 

“I do love our friends, but … I don’t want to go out tonight. I’m tired.”

“Just half an hour,” Prim says. “Snag me some candy, make some pleasantries” — “okay, Jane Bennet” —  “and then come home. At least one of us needs to show up. Just pretend to have a social life for thirty minutes, okay? For me.” 

Katniss rolls her eyes as she gets up from the couch in a twinkling of blue overlay and snowflake hair pins in her braid. She does a quick once over of her shadowy makeup in the hallway mirror as she grabs her car keys. “What do you want?” 

“Chocolate. Anything with chocolate and peanut butter. I’ll save it for when I can experience taste again,” Prim calls back. “Oh, and if Delly’s cousin is there, all of the cupcakes he brought.”

“Mmkay. All the chocolate and cupcakes, coming right up,” Katniss says with a resigned smile. On her way out, she clicks on her phone. It’s just now eight. She resolves to be firmly ensconced in bed by nine at the latest. She gives her sister a wave, keys jangling. “I’ll be back. Soon.” 

At ten thirty, Prim looks up from her Harry Potter induced doze to find she’s received a text from her sister. 

Staying a little later. Fifteen minutes maybe. Have the treats.  

Prim checks the time stamp. The text was sent forty five minutes ago. This might be cause for alarm were it not for the text underneath Katniss’s, from Finnick. It’s a photo, taken in front of a makeshift photo op with purple and silver and orange streamers in the background and cutesy little bat and pumpkin and vampire fang cardboard props for people to hold up. It’s captioned “You can’t marry a man you just met!” 

Prim brings her hand to her mouth to catch a laugh before it turns into a cough. Her sister, Elsa costume sparkling in the flash, is pretending to shake her finger disapprovingly at her “Anna” counterpart. The laugh breaks free this time. Prim grabs for her tepid tea to soothe her throat as she cracks up over the really incredible image of Peeta Mellark, Delly Cartwright’s stocky older cousin, in a red braided wig, and strikingly accurate green rosemaled gown, sitting quite comfortably, if amusingly, over his athletic build. He’s pretending to gripe back at Katniss about why exactly he can marry Hans of the Southern Isles. Their mock scowls barely contain smiles. 

Prim quickly fires a text back to Finnick: How??? Did that happen??? 

Finnick’s text comes through a second later: The Lord works in mysterious ways! Idk!

Okay but like?? Yes??

I know!!!!

Some people are worth melting for???? 

Her cold never bothered him anyway? *finger guns*

Omg. 

Katniss arrives back at the house at five to midnight, and Prim pretends to be asleep, watching with one eye cracked half open as her sister unstraps her silver heels and dumps them by the front door, drops her keys into the bowl. Sets down a full bag of what Prim can only guess are cupcakes and sweets. 

She’s humming under her breath. It sounds like the chorus of “Love is an Open Door.” Prim wonders if it’s possible that her folk and indie music loving sister actually listened to a Disney album on the way home. Katniss unbraids her hair and shakes it loose, dropping the pins on the side table as she sinks into the squashy chair kitty-corner to Prim’s couch. She curls up, knees to chest, making her look like some sort of ice mermaid as she takes out her phone and taps something on it, still humming. Prim watches her chew her cheek pensively, as if deciding to send the text. She takes a deep breath and taps one final time on the screen, then drums her phone nervously against her lips for a moment. Prim’s nerves are firing with anticipation. 

They wait a silent minute. Two. Three. Three and a half — 

Katniss’s screen lights up again and she flips the phone up to stare at the reply. Her whole face softens. Eyes, brow, edges of her mouth. Katniss bites her lip and closes her eyes, letting her head fall back onto the chair cushion with a contented sigh. “‘You know what’s crazy?’” she sing-songs in a mumble under her breath. “‘We finish each other’s sandwiches … I’ve never met someone who thinks so much like …” She yawns. “Me.” 

“You know,” Prim says, and Katniss shrieks, sending her phone flying to the carpet, “Peeta Mellark strikes me more as a Kristoff than a Hans.” 

“Prim!” Katniss yelps, going red. “Wha — what? What do you mean?” 

“So we’re done with stupid plastic cat ears for Halloween then I take it?”

[the very next Halloween] 

“Whoa. Okay.” Peeta sits up from the pile of cushions at the head of their bed, eyes wide and staring in approval, pupils gone dark. “Katniss Everdeen in cat ears is not something I knew I needed until this moment.” 

“Oh sure,” Katniss laughs. “Because it’s definitely the cat ears that are doing it for you. Not these.” She hoists one stockinged leg up onto the bed like a mountain climber posing for a magazine. 

“Well, those are certainly part of the appeal,” he teases, reaching for her leg, running his hands up and down the silk tights. “As is this lovely number.” He toys with the hem of her dress, a strapless black velvet thing that falls just above her knee. “Where’s this from?”

“Jo,” Katniss sighs. “She says if I’m going to be a cat, I need to be a Gretchen Wieners level cat.” 

“For whose benefit, I wonder?” Peeta muses, cheek nuzzling gently at her lower thigh. 

“You wonder?” Katniss laughs, taking her leg away and flopping onto the bed. She glances over at him, eyes sly and somehow soft at once. “I don’t.” 

“I can’t help thinking,” he muses. “that this is something of a counterproductive plan on Jo’s part. Because now, I have a sudden and distinct interest in staying in tonight.” 

“Oh?” Katniss raises a come hither eyebrow and pushes up on her elbows to accept the kiss he plants on her lips as he crawls over her, urging her back to the headboard. “Is it the cat ears?” She reaches up to give the (already molting) plastic and faux fur ears a flick. 

“The Kat ears,” he says. He nips softly at her real ear and she shivers. “The Kat nose.” He kisses that too. His nose nudges her head back, inclining her neck at the perfect angle for him to plant a stretch of kisses down it. “The Kat neck.” His mouth wanders down the front of her dress and he scoots down the bed with it. “The Kat’s cradle.”

“You have that,” she says, hiking her legs up to hug around his middle because her arms can’t reach to hold him. “You’ll always have that.” 

“A piece of that Kit Kat bar.” He kisses her stomach. “The whole Kit and Caboodle,” he teases and she laughs loudly, but on a dime his tone is changing, from silly and playful into husky and dangerous, as he moves lower. “Kitten,” he murmurs and her fingers curl in the bedsheets at the name. “Grab my phone,” he tells her, hooking his fingers around the band of her tights, “Tell Finnick we’re going to be late.” 

An hour or so later finds the cat ears lost somewhere among the remains of their costumes and a hasty snack of pepperoni rolls cooking in the convection oven. Peeta, festooned in boxers and an old apron, presides over the food like it needs a baker’s supervision. Katniss perches on the counter, wrapped chest to toes in the white sheet she pulled from their bed, feet batting absently at the cabinets. 

“This is a good look too,” he tells her, gesturing with the salad tongs he’s using to handle the pepperoni rolls. 

“What is? This sheet?” 

“I was thinking more along the lines of sexy ghost.” 

“Or sexy Roman senator,” she laughs, tossing one edge of the sheet over a bare shoulder. “Sexy Julius Caesar.”

“You’d make a good Julius Caesar,” he says. 

“Why?”

“You’ve got that “came, saw, conquered” vibe. Least that’s how I felt that night at Finnick’s party.”

“Conquered?” 

“I was gonna say seen, but — yes. Conquered too. I couldn’t stop looking at you.” He snaps his fingers. “Sexy ice queen? Definitely.” 

“I’m not exactly sure what kind of Freudian analysis one could make on falling in love with the guy dressed as your fictional sister but — ”

Peeta shrugs as the timer beeps, and he sets to fishing the pepperoni rolls onto a plate for them to share. “I choose to think of it as a metaphor for how the two people you love most in the world are your real, actual sister …” He sets the rolls beside her on the counter and sets his hands gently on her sides. She lets the sheet fall and pool slightly around her waist to cup his face as he leans in to kiss her forehead, very gently, thumbs rubbing circles on her hips. “And some loser who has the luck of … oh, I guess having the same first initial and hair color as she does,” he jokes. 

“And the same beautiful heart,” Katniss corrects in a whisper. “I mean that.” She’s rarely so sentimental to anyone except him. She smirks. “And I haven’t even started drinking yet.” 

“Well, my pretty kitty,” he starts, wrapping both his arms around her middle and hoisting her off the counter. She rolls her eyes, even as her hands card through his hair. “The night is still young.” 

[mydarlingvioletine]

Just a Puppy Crush - Chapter Fourteen Ship(s): Violet/Clementine, Louis/Aasim, Ruby/Brody Media: The Walking Dead Game (Season 4)

When they pulled into the parking lot, Louis’ demeanor changed immediately. He craned his head to look inside the diner cautiously, then let his eyes dart between the stained glass windows of the diner and a red, beat-up car in the employees parking section.

      “Earth to Louis,” Violet leaned forward and shook her hand in front of Louis’ eyes, and frowned at his silence. “What’s up?”

“Huh?” Louis blinked absently, then took the key out and gave a weary smile to Violet through the rear view mirror. “Sorry, this heat is too much. It’s fucking October, when is it gonna start acting like it?”

     Unconvinced, Marlon pressed his face up against the passenger seat window and looked at the car. His eyes lit up, and he flashed Louis a goofy smile as he made the connection.

“Flame decals. That’s Aasim’s car.” Marlon happily noted, brushing his shoulder against the flustered Louis’. “That why you wanted to go to the diner?”

       “Purely a coincidence!” Louis stammered, gripping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were white.

Violet and Clementine exchanged a look, and rolled their eyes as Louis went down his list of excuses.

       “Shame I don’t believe in those,” Marlon sang out, slamming the car door behind him as he marched into the diner. Still stuttering to explain, Louis followed close behind him.

“That’s.. kind of adorable.” Clementine giggled, unbuckling her seat belt and jumping out of the car. “Idiot probably has his work schedule memorized.”

        Violet snorted, and swallowed her laughter as Clem wrapped herself around the taller girl’s arm. “C’mon, let’s catch up with them.”

‘80s rock hit their ears as soon as they opened the swinging doors, and Marlon and Louis had already sat down in a booth near the jukebox.

      Louis was using one of those cartoonishly gigantic menus to cover his face, and Violet rolled her eyes as she snatched it when she sat down across from him.

“Dude, you okay?” Violet pressed, concern clouding her eyes as she frowned. Louis sighed and let a weary smile form on his face.

        “I’m all sweaty and gross after the game. I didn’t really factor that in.” Louis admitted wearily, taking the menu back from her and creating a barrier. “I.. uh.. feel kinda weird.”

Violet clasped her hands together and scanned the restaurant. A couple kids from school, but none she was really close to. Aasim was nowhere to be seen.

      “Don’t worry, Lou,” Violet pressed the menu down and offered the pouting Louis a smile. “I don’t see him anywhere. He’s probably on dish washing duty.”

After a couple tentative seconds, Louis nodded and let himself relax, fiddling with a sugar packet. “Yeah, okay. You’re right.”

        Clementine giggled, softly kicking his knee under the table. “Who would’ve thought you, of all people, would be such a wimp about your feelings?”

Louis glared, arching his brow as he glanced between Clem and Violet. “Oh, I’m a wimp about my feelings?”

         Before the girls could protest, the big red employee’s only door opened, and Aasim was practically shoved out of the kitchen. Clem turned to Louis and waggled her eyebrows, and snatched the menu before he could retreat.

“Aasim, buddy!” Marlon ushered him over to their table. “Did they kick you out again?”

       Sheepishly, Aasim nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, fuckers keep calling me bossy just because I have standards of what I’d eat off of.”

Louis had leaned heavily against the table, cradling his cheek as he wracked his brain for literally anything to say.

      “You’re just decisive,” Louis landed on a compliment, and fanned himself with a menu. “I like that in a wo- Man.. person.”

Aasim absently blinked a couple times before grabbing a notebook and pretending nothing had happened. “So, what can I get you guys?”

       “A fuckton of pancakes!” Violet jumped in with an answer before Louis could embarrass himself any further. Marlon and Clementine nodded in agreement, and the flustered Aasim turned on his heel and went back into the kitchen all too happily.

Louis immediately cradled his head as if in pain, elbows against the counter. “What the fuck was that?”

    Violet rolled her eyes and tipped his chin up, before shaking his shoulders to snap him out of it. “You are an absolute mess, Lou. Just treat him like you treat us. Like a friend!”

Louis pursed his lips and shook his head. “I’m not going to make fun of him and call him a scrub.”

      Clementine snorted as Violet sighed and leaned back in her seat, chewing on her straw. “Vi’s got a point there, you know. Just try and take it easy, okay? Be normal Louis.”

“The day I take romantic advice from you two pining nerds is the day Marlon shaves the pubes that he dare calls a mustache.” Louis clenched his dreads in his fist, as Marlon shot him a glare and checked himself on the napkin container. “Sorry man, the truth comes out when I’m panicking.”

         Clementine and Violet were too busy blushing furiously and looking at anything other than each other to notice Aasim approach their table. Struggling to hold a couple plates, he set down a stack of pancakes in front of Clem and Marlon.

He held the whipped cream bottle in his hands, and recoiled when Clem went to reach for it. “Just don’t use up the entire thing this time, okay?”

      She quickly snatched it from his hands and turned it upside down, letting it pour all over her pancakes. “No promises.”

Aasim rolled his eyes and turned towards Louis and Violet. “Yours will take a little bit longer. Chocolate chip’s your favorite, right?”

       Violet went to answer but recoiled at the realization that Aasim was staring down Louis, and that she was the last thing on his mind.

“Aw, you remembered!” Louis cooed, cupping the sides of his face to give a charmingly dorkish smile. “And my favorite drink is...”

       “Sprite.” Aasim snorted, before his cheeks reddened and he started stammering for excuses. “I only remember that because you said Marlon thinks it’s ‘too spicy’.”

“Oh, fuck you. Sprite is harsh, man.” Marlon muttered through a mouthful of pancakes, glaring at the laughing Louis across from him. Clementine and Violet giggled, letting their knees softly rest against each other under the table.

    A lady from behind the counter pushed two plates of steaming chocolate chip pancakes towards Aasim, who gingerly planted them in front of Violet and Louis.

Aasim lingered around the table for a while longer, anxiously looking over his shoulder back at the kitchen before his name was called and he scurried back to the counter.

     “Aw, look!” Clementine smiled down at her phone before tilting it towards Violet and Louis. “They’re so cute.”

It was a new post on Brody’s Instagram of her and Ruby in a costume shop dressing room, Brody’s arm slung around Ruby as she stuck out her tongue and gave a peace sign to the camera.

        Violet’s eyes almost bulged out of her head at the sight of Ruby with her hair not in it’s signature messy ponytail. She looked so nice with it down, bouncy red curls spilling over her shoulder.

Brody also looked super different. Her hair was up in pigtails, and the end of each were blue and red. She was holding a cartoonish plastic hammer over her shoulder, and wearing a red and blue bomber jacket over a plain white T-shirt.

      [The caption: “There are sweeter things to do in the moonlight.” along with party streamers and flower emojis.]

“Rubes makes a killer Poison Ivy,” Louis guffawed, taking the phone from Clem’s hands. “Brody is a really good Harley Quinn too! Those dorks are adorable.”

        Violet nodded, cupping her Coca Cola in her hands as she observed the picture. “Think they’ll get together before Halloween?”

Louis snorted, and passed the phone back to Clementine before shoveling a load of pancakes back into his mouth. “Puh-lease, they’re even more clueless than y-“

         Clem ‘accidentally’ kicked Louis’ shin under the table, and he pulled it to his chest, silently glaring.

“So, what are you guys being for Halloween?” Marlon eagerly changed the subject, swirling the straw around in his drink.

       “Sexy cat, probably.” Louis beamed, causing Marlon to choke on his straw. “Nah, I’m not really that sure. Was thinking about jumping onto the clown bus.”

“Perfect, you don’t even need to change!” Clem giggled, holding onto her sides as Louis threw a crumpled up straw wrapper at her. “What about you, Vi?”

        Violet wiped the syrup off of her lips. “I have this old pirate costume that my mom made for me. I might wear that out.”

Clementine’s eyes lit up and she grabbed Violet’s hand that was laying on the table. “We should go together! I was a pirate last year and I could totally reuse it.”

       “Uh, yeah. Definitely.” Violet’s eyes were pinned on Clem’s hands over hers, and hoped her face wasn’t as red as she felt it was. “What about AJ?”

“He’s gonna be Disco Broccoli.” Clementine giggled, tapping her free hand on the table. “He might tag along with us if Carley and Lee can’t take him out. Is that okay?”

       “Oh, abso-tutley.” Violet quickly responded, a smile on her face as she tried to imagine the little hothead of a kid playing the chill, collected Disco Broccoli. He did have killer dance moves though, so she didn’t doubt he could pull it off.

It took a couple more minutes for everyone to finish and for Louis to start scraping the plate with his fork, trying desperately to scoop up any pancake remains.

       Aasim came up and placed the bill on the table, raising his eyebrow at Louis’ odd behavior. “Is he okay?”

Marlon took the fork from his hand and put his hand on his shoulder in an attempt to console him. “Lou’s always inconsolable after a really good meal. He’ll be alright.”

        “Well, you can come back tomorrow...” Aasim wearily suggested, Louis’ head snapping up at the statement. “Only if you want to! I’ll be working tomorrow after school and I could probably sneak some extra pancakes for you.”

Louis clasped his hands together happily, and took the bill from the end of the table. “I’ll be here. You’d have to barricade the doors to keep me from coming.”

      “I’m pretty sure that’s against customer policy, but I’ll keep a stool free for you.” Assim rebuked wittily, his thumbs tucked nervously into his front pocket. Louis passed the bill back to him, and did that one charming smile that could make someone faint if they looked too close.

“Uh, cool.” Aasim stammered, just noticing the other three’s presence when Clementine cleared her throat. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

      Louis was unable to control how giddy he was when they all got into his car, humming happily and tapping the steering wheel. Marlon and Violet exchanged a knowing glance, and for the first time in all the years she’d known him, she felt a ping of solidarity.

She didn’t know why things were the way they were with Marlon. Hell, she couldn’t remember the last time they’d been alone together. As much as she didn’t want to care about what he thought, she cared about Louis too much to just create more tension between the group.

          Looking back on it, Marlon and Minnie were actually pretty close before she got expelled. The thought crossed her mind for the first time that maybe Marlon blamed her for what happened, and she instinctively tugged her knees to her chest. Shit.

The static of Clementine’s hand brushing against her ear surged panic throughout her senses. Clem was pursing her lips, and adjusting the flower behind her ear.

            “You know, I could probably make a whole flower crown for you.” Clementine pondered, a warm smile on her face as Violet let her eyes meet hers. “It wouldn’t be that hard. You’d look really cute.”

Violet’s cheeks were flushed with pink, and the murmuring of Louis and Marlon talking seemed so distant. Like nothing else on earth existed other than Clementine, who’s radiant smile was almost too much to bear. “I don’t know..”

     “See?” Clementine pointed at the blush on her cheeks, quietly snickering. “Red looks good on you. I’ll make it happen.”

Noticing Violet’s silence, she recoiled back to her seat and anxiously glanced from her to the window. “Sorry. I think I’m drunk on maple syrup or something. I’m not usually that forward.”

       Violet pursed her lips, nodding before she gently placed her hand on top of Clem’s clenched fist. Clementine relaxed at the touch, and wearily smiled up at the taller blonde.

“Don’t... be sorry.” Violet whispered, her eyes glinted with a mix of cheeriness and astonishment. “I, um-“

     The car swerved to the left frantically, and Clem smacked the back of her head against the seat. Louis quickly pulled over, and turned around to check on everybody. “Shit, there were some dumbass squirrels playing chicken. Are you guys okay?”

“Peachy.” Clementine winced, rubbing the back of her head with a scowl. “At least I didn’t lose another leg.” She joked lightheartedly.

      “My god, Lou.” Marlon groaned, tapping his fingers against the dashboard. “And you say I’m a bad driver.”

The two playfully bickered in the front while Violet worriedly kept glancing at Clem. “You sure you’re good?”

        “I’m okay, Vi.” Clementine snorted, eyes dancing back and forth between Violet and Louis. “Just a little bump.”

“First stop, casa a la Clementine,” Louis sang as he pulled into Clem’s driveway. All the lights were on, and they could see Carley and James on the back porch talking.

      Clementine paused, eyes flickering over to Violet nervously. “You want to come and say hi to AJ? And maybe play some Wii? I know it’s a school night, but..”

“Inviting me over after the first date? I’d love to, Clementine.” Louis mockingly cooed, earning a glare from Clem that made him squeak and cower in the front seat. “I’m kidding.”

      “Yeah, sure.” Violet felt herself saying impulsively, brain wiping out all of her concerns about how she’d get home and if her father would be there when she did get home. “I got laundry to do, right?”

Clem let the anxiousness wash away from her features and beamed, nodding. They both said goodbye to Louis and Marlon, thanked him for the near-death experience and dinner, and she followed a bouncy Clementine through the front door.

[ikesenhell]

The Unknown

Again., Chapter 13–a collaboration by myself and @a-shout-to-the-void​ AKA Vaya. You can find all other IkeSen works of mine here, and Vaya’s here. NOTES: None this time.

It took a couple favors to pull together the gift. Mercifully, Shingen didn't ask. He’d heard. Slowly, Kenshin filed all of the clippings and pictures and minutiae in a small folder and tucked it under his arm, donning his best black suit for the funeral. He also brought a small satchel of baby things--a sort of christening gift for a child he’d heard about and hadn’t met.

He’d been in their shoes. He knew how well it hurt.

The funeral was brief and well-attended. Flowers littered the casket. Well-wishers pulled together in a quiet line to give the grieving couple their condolences. The baby (scarcely a month old, by the looks of him) started fussing. Fortunately Kenshin was next in line.

“Here,” he murmured, taking the infant from his mother. “I’ve got it.”

Williams gave him a relieved, worn smile. “Are you sure?”

“I’m certain.” He bounced the boy in his arms. “You’ve enough to worry about right now. I brought you something. What’s his name?”

Ieyasu fixed him with a baleful stare, but the baby hushed and curled against his chest.

“Mitsunari,” she murmured. “His name is Mitsunari. We’re calling him ‘Nari.”

“Nari is a good name,” Kenshin agreed, offering her the satchel. “Here. For you and your husband.”

Ieyasu took the bag with a murmured thanks, flipping it open to find a thick supply of toys, diapers, and the folder. As soon as they parsed the contents, Williams teared up and hid her face in his shoulder.

“Thanks,” Ieyasu managed through gritted teeth.

“It was nothing,” Kenshin answered. “Think nothing of it. If you need me to take Nari for now and sit behind you so you have a minute, consider it done.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“He’s fallen asleep, so I may as well.”

They didn't protest. Kenshin took up a spot behind the two and settled into an armchair, watching over the infant as he slept.

---

They spent their leave mostly looking after the ever-growing ‘Nari. He smiled like his father, big purple eyes flashing, his dark brown skin and dark hair so much like his mother that Ieyasu called him ‘Sunshine’ sometimes. When he slept, the two of them parsed through Mitsunari’s things in deathly slowness and figured out what best to do.

It was on one of those nights that she found the letters.

“Yasu?” She called, sitting at the familiar desk. “Come here. These are all addressed to us.”

Ieyasu crept into the room, brows knit. “What are?”

“Letters?”

Williams waved one at him. Sure enough, there it was, written in Mitsunari’s curving hand. Ieyasu cracked it open.

My dearest love,

You’re not paying attention to me right now, and I’m the happier for it. I know that sounds strange. It’s a little like watching a van Gogh painting in motion; like the whole of Starry Night twisted and shifted into life, the nest of your hair become the swirling stars and her body the curving grass.

I probably won’t share this with you--it’s not nearly as pretty as you both deserve. I could watch you for hours. I just might.

Sometimes now I have sympathy feelings when I watch you kiss her. Not pains. You’re kissing her neck right now. Your mouth is slightly open and your breath hitches when you ride your hips upward into hers, and I can feel the way it would drag were you on my neck instead. I wish, sometimes, that I could watch the way you looked at me when you have me where you like.

I would suggest taking a video, but I know that would embarrass you, and she’d likely say something about ‘evidence’, and I’d get terribly distracted by it anyway. Maybe part of the golden mystery is the mystery itself, though I doubt very much that I would ever grow tired of even the most quantified of your expressions.

God, I love you both.

It just struck me as I’m watching you now how your shoulders scallop and curve as you hold yourself. It’s like watching the shift of a tectonic plate--the whole world of my heart moves when you do.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

The paper cracked as Ieyasu gripped it tighter. “Are they all like this?”

“I think so,” Williams murmured, opening another. “There are hundreds of them. This is what he was up to all those nights…”

He had to set down the letter before he destroyed it in his grasp, clutching his knees instead. What was he supposed to say? How could he even speak into reality the rage and love and sorrow and desperation swelling in his chest? “How could he say this wasn’t as pretty as we deserved?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered. “It’s beautiful.”

Ieyasu clenched at the air and rose, swinging his fist at nothing. Silence greeted him. “I think I need to go for a run.”

---

Kenshin came over sometimes. Mostly it was to help around the house; having a third person was something they’d grown used to in the years gone by, and now it was more needed than ever. He helped shift furniture and watch Nari and sometimes stayed for dinner late into the night, the quiet more comforting without tears in the void.

“Does it ever stop hurting?” Ieyasu asked him one night, still spinning his fork around on the empty plate.

The other man paused. Sometimes, when he was taken just off his guard, Ieyasu could see the sorrow hanging close to the surface. He was beautiful (not just handsome, beautiful), but sad, too. Those ocean eyes held an well.

“No.” Kenshin hesitated once more. “No, it doesn’t.”

They fell quiet again. At last he pushed back his icy blonde hair and sighed. “It doesn’t hurt the same after a while. At first it feels like burning, like you’ve swallowed lava and you’re just waiting for it to settle somewhere less painful, like if you just drink enough the burning will stop. Eventually it does, but the scald of it is still there. Some nights I’ll wake up and call for her. It’s been nine years. I keep thinking I’ll stop doing it. I never do.”

“I don’t--” Ieyasu inhaled sharply. “I can’t live like that.”

“You do,” Kenshin said, simple and clear. “You will. You’ll learn. Every day you’ll wake up and wonder how you manage. Every night you go to sleep knowing you did, somehow. It hurts forever--just differently.”

---

In the blink of an eye, Nari turned two. His second birthday party was a whimsical affair, with streamers and party hats and great mylar balloons all around the apartment. Ieyasu and Williams spent the morning whirling through the place, arranging and rearranging until they were satisfied that everything was presentable. And, of course, that everything was just out of reach of the toddler.

“That should do it!” Williams moved her hands away from the end of the streamer that was now securely pinned to the wall. “How does it look?”

Ieyasu leaned against the counter, arms folded. “It’s a two year old’s birthday party. Not everything has to be perfect.”

“But is it?” She insisted with a grin.

Ieyasu rolled his eyes. “Yes. Of course it is.”

In a few quick steps her arms were around him, and she pressed a quick kiss to his jawline before bouncing away again. “You picked up the cake, right?”

“Yes,” he grumbled. “Do you want me to check the fridge for it? Might’ve run away.”

“That would be great!” She sang. “What time is it?”

He checked his watch as he popped open the fridge. “Its uh--about one-thirty. Why?”

She flew back into his line of sight. “We should probably wake up Nari around quarter to two--oh, Yasu, he’s going to love this.” He glanced at the frosted behemoth taking up an entire shelf in the fridge. He’d ordered it from a bakery a few blocks north; they did custom cakes and were almost too thrilled over the thing. Iced giraffes covered the pastry, grinning up at him with goofy expressions.

“Please explain how our son’s favorite animal became giraffes,” he grumbled, swinging the door shut. “What’s so great about giraffes?”

“I think he became obsessed after Kenshin called Shingen one,” she commented lightly. “You know. Just fixated.”

As if on cue, their doorbell rang. From upstairs came the telltale shriek of an over-excited toddler, the pitter-patter of footsteps letting them know that Nari had escaped the allegedly ‘baby proof’ bed once more. Ieyasu muttered something about lying manufacturers and headed upstairs as she went for the door.

“Well, hello!” Williams gave a mock curtsy at the door. “You’re early.”

“Hello yourself.” Kenshin stepped through the door, a coat with a thick fur trim slung around his shoulders and a bag in his hands. “You told me two. I figured you might need help. Shingen couldn’t make it, but sends his regards.”

“Shinshin!” From atop the steps came a delighted scream. Ieyasu moved the baby gate just in time for Nari to toddle down the stairs, arms outstretched. “Shinshin!”

“Goodness!” And Kenshin swept the baby up into his arms, bouncing Nari into his elbow. “And you’re getting big! How tall are you now?”

Nari puffed himself up proudly. “Big!”

“Of course you are,” Kenshin chuckled. “Soon enough you’ll be as big as me. How old are you now? Can you show me?”

The baby held up two fingers. Williams giggled and leaned into Ieyasu, watching the other man head into their kitchen. “They’ve bonded, haven’t they?”

Ieyasu studied the odd pair with a slight crease between his brows. “Yeah. They have.”

“I don’t think I mind it.” She nudged him gently. “Do you?”

Did he mind it? How could he mind the way Nari smiled when Kenshin swung him around, or the way the boy giggled whenever Kenshin asked him a question? How could he mind at all when his son was so happy—

Only a vision of his husband gave him pause. Mitsunari, holding their son in his arms. Mitsunari, cutting the cake. Mitsunari, standing with Ieyasu and Williams as they took photo after photo of their little boy having a ball.

“I don’t know,” he said finally. “I just—I don’t know.”

[aion-rsa]

New Netflix Christmas Movies in 2020 Ranked from Best to Worst

https://ift.tt/3q2Rba0

Netflix is doing its level best to eat everyone else’s entertainment lunch, and the holiday movie game is no exception. Just a few short years after planting the flag that was the cult megahit A Christmas Prince, the streamer has more offerings than ever, including some sequels to their top-notch 2018 productions. We break down some of this winter’s already released heavy hitters so you know what to watch and what to skip.

Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey

Available Now

This star-studded Christmas musical is the most magical of the bunch. Picture The Wiz meets Willy Wonka, with John Legend as a producer. Forest Whitaker stars as a down-and-out toymaker who has lost his touch and everything else that makes life special: his wife (Sharon Rose) has passed and his daughter (Tony winner Anika Noni Rose, Little Fires Everywhere, The Princess and the Frog) moved away, estranged. Years earlier he created a unique matador toy that comes to life (voiced by a delightfully villainous Ricky Martin, who has a lot of fun with a wandering accent). The naughty toy and the toymaker’s apprentice (Kegan-Michael Key) left with the toymaker’s book of ideas, putting him out of business and making themselves mega-rich.

Things really get going when the toymaker’s granddaughter (bonafide star Madalen Mills, who I can’t believe is a newcomer) comes to town and she, along with a neighborhood boy with aspirations of being a great toy inventor, try to save the toymaker from himself. There’s singing, dancing, baroque steampunk galore, earnest lessons learned, and magic that’s something like science. It’s the kind of movie the phrase “family fun adventure” was invented to describe.

Clocking in at more than two hours, this one could tighten up the runtime a bit, but that just means there are plenty of safe opportunities to refill your eggnog or run to the restroom. I dare you to watch this movie and not feel the holiday spirit.

Operation Christmas Drop

Available Now

In order to protect her boss’ interests, congressional aide Erica (our girl Kat Graham/Bonnie Bennet from Vampire Diaries!) is sent to a military base in the Pacific over Christmas to find excess spending in order to justify budget cuts. Her biggest target is Operation Christmas Drop, a real-life program where service members from the U.S., Japan, and Australia drop presents (and life-saving supplies) to remote surrounding islands. Hyper-focused Erica knows there’s a possible promotion on the line and she has to work harder than a bunch of white dudes named Matt back in DC in order to get it, putting her at odds with the base’s own Santa, Capt. Andrew Jantz (Andrew Ludwid, Vikings, The Hunger Games). 

Any time one of these movies has a protagonist of color, it’s unfortunately notable, though Netflix (with the exception of the Christmas Prince franchise) creates more diverse offerings than just about anyone else. In addition to directly engaging with how much harder the Ericas of the world have to work to get their due, Operation Christmas Drop also highlights the people who live on Guam and the surrounding islands, as the first full-length major studio movie filmed there. 

Featuring the old favorite romance trope “enemies to lovers,” a tropical Christmas, and some of the real-life people who make the actual Christmas Drop possible, Operation Christmas Drop is an ideal holiday romcom. It’s still goofy at times and heart-fluttery at others, and of course everything will work out in the end, but it’s better written than most of what’s on TV and casting Kat Graham is always a good choice.

The Princess Switch, Switched Again

Available Now

It’s not Christmas until you’ve seen Vanessa Hudgens chloroform herself. The sequel to 2018’s The Princess Switch, The Princess Switch, Switched Again, rightly knows that Kevin (Nick Sagar) is a better leading man than the walking melba toast that is Prince Edward (Sam Palladio). When we last saw the sous chef dad with the six-pack abs who likes sappy Christmas movies and wearing the hell out of sweaters, he was making out with Lady Margaret. In the two years since then, they’ve split up, the king of Montenaro has passed away, and Margaret’s cousin who was next in line for the throne has abdicated, which means Lady Margaret will be crowned on Christmas. Naturally. 

The Princess Switch franchise has found the sweet spot between “painfully bad” and “so bad it’s good.” The latest iteration adds what the first lacked – a worthy villain. Vanessa Hudgens gleefully vamps around as a Kardashian-esque cousin of Lady Margaret’s who goes after the Montenaran crown. It’s fun to watch Hudgens be bad, and it adds a requisite layer of novelty to the proceedings. 

There’s also a little crossover moment from the Christmas Prince franchise. It’s very quick and I don’t think anyone even says a word, but it’s a fun one for fans. It also probably means that in the world of the NCCU (Netflix Christmas Cinematic Universe), The Christmas Prince movies are documentaries, which is more than I can handle. 

It’s a rarity, but with The Princes Switch, the sequel is even better than the original. The Princess Switch 2 knows exactly what kind of movie it is – fun, silly, romantic, distracting, a purveyor of both great and terrible fashion, and maybe a little eye roll-inducing. Perfection. 

Holidate

Available Now

If you like a little spice with your sugar, Holidate is the right holiday rom-com. Netflix is already the anti-Hallmark in this category, trading judgey and Jesus-y for a sense of humor and soundtracks worth bookmarking on Spotify. And Holidate doubles down on the snark and PG-13-ness of it all.

Emma Roberts and Luke Bracey star as Sloane and Jackson, two singles sick of shrugging off a million questions and setups throughout the holiday season. The cast is rounded out with Frances Fisher (Watchmen, Titanic), Jessica Capshaw from Grey’s Anatomy, SNL’s Alex Moffat, Jake Manley from The Order, and Manish Dayal of Halt and Catch Fire and The Hundred-Foot Journey, proving he deserves to play a romantic lead.

Taking inspiration from Sloane’s perpetually single Aunt Susan (Kristin Chenoweth, who gets away with being so much weirder than anyone else ever could thanks to her many charms), Luke and Sloane go out as platonic dates to a year’s worth of holidays, starting with New Year’s. That also means that while we see two Christmas’, the movie spends a large chunk of time on the other holidays – St. Patrick’s Day, the Fourth of July, Halloween, etc – so this one doesn’t always feel the most Christmas-y. 

Read more

TV

Christmas Movies and TV Specials: Full 2020 Schedule

By Den of Geek Staff

Movies

The Best Alternative Christmas movies

By Mark Harrison

This flick may end up being too tart (or just plain awkward) for some, and the repeated use of the word “pussy” during what’s ostensibly a Christmas movie is not for everyone. But if all the sappiness of the season is feeling too saccharine and you’re sick of being seated at the kids table or getting grilled about when you’ll finally get married, Holidate might just hit the spot.

The Christmas Chronicles 2

Available Now

The follow-up to one of Netflix’s best family holiday offerings, The Christmas Chronicles 2 brings back Kurt Russell’s cool Santa for a sequel that has 100 percent more wormholes and time travel than fun side characters and snappy jokes. There’s a much larger role for Goldie Hawn’s Mrs. Claus, who is something of a kind-hearted Christmas sorceress. Kate (Darby Camp, Big Little Lies) is now staring down the barrel of teenagerhood and spending Christmas in Cancun while her mom makes heart-eyes at a new guy, who brings with him his 10 year-old son, Jack (Jahzir Bruno).

Big brother Teddy (Judah Lewis) moves into the backdrop as Kate and Jack go on an adventure in the North Pole, squaring off with one of Santa’s former elves, Belsnickel (Julian Dennison, Hunt for the Wilderpeople, Deadpool 2).

While it’s always nice to revisit a favorite – and Christmas Chronicles is so much about the best aspects of a family movie – the sequel loses a lot of that appeal. Without a clear and compelling story to drive the plot forward like the original had, Christmas Chronicles 2 lags significantly throughout and it’s unclear when the adventure starts, what it’s goals are, and then the movie even struggles to wrap up as a result.

It doesn’t help that this movie is bogged down by some convoluted mythology tying the elves to Christianity via the Star of Bethlehem that low-key paints Santa as a Moses-like figure.

The musical number does bring things back to life for a while. This time it’s in a 1990-era Logan airport in Boston with Darlene Love singing a duet with Santa instead of Stevie Van Zandt, though they are singing his song, “The Spirit of Christmas.”

This makes for Darlene Love’s second appearance in the NCCU; The first was Holiday Rush, where she played Rush’s Aunt Jo. I’m ignoring the fact that she’s credited as “Denise” in Christmas Chronicles 2 and choosing to believe that Aunt Jo worked a desk for Pan Am, TSA or whoever in the ‘90s to pay the bills while waiting for her true calling as a singer to take off.

Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square

Available Now

In between funding a possible cure for the coronavirus and trying to solve illiteracy, Dolly Parton found time to star in and write 14 original songs for a Christmas special. The great Debbie Allen of Fame fame (more recently, Dr. Catherine Avery on Grey’s Anatomy) directs this all-singing, all-dancing Christmas musical, bringing her multi-talented prowess to bear. That means this thing follows the musical tropes more closely than those of a typical Christmas TV movie, even though it also falls into the Hallmark penchant for religiosity that feels a bit off.

The best parts of Christmas on the Square are all the toe-tapping small-town songs about the townsfolk banding together to stop local Scrooge named Regina (played with adroit dry wit by Christine Baranski) from selling off their town. There’s a pastor named Christian (obviously) and a cute kid who gets hurt but only in a way that’s dramatic and leaves her still very cute and able to join in the final town celebration. That’s the kind of silly holiday fun we all signed up for. 

Regina’s best friend Margeline (Jenifer Lewis, The Princess and The Frog, Black-ish) is a scene-stealer and the back half of the movie is lesser for her relative absence. The numbers get a little less zippy and the movie feels a lot longer than roughly an hour and a half. Somewhere along the way, we get the sort of slutshame-y backstory of Baranski’s character, whose first-ever high school dance resulted in a pregnancy which she (obviously) carried to term. Her father took her baby away from her while she was crying in the delivery room, giving it up for adoption. Pretty intense for the genre! 

It’s not like the movie becomes a portrait of gritty realism from there–Dolly Parton is definitely a floating, glowing, rhinestone-encrusted angel, although that’s closer to what folks come for. An underutilized Jeanine Mason (Roswell, NM) and Matthew Johnson (Songland) – whose voice is arresting – add to the fun, but there’s no two ways around it: It’s an odd little movie.

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[megwritesfanfiction]

The Lies We Told (Beast Boy/Raven , Chapter 3/??)

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. This is a work of fiction that I am not making a profit off of.

Author’s Note: Got about one half to a third of the next chapter done too! Yay caffeine! Seriously, I think caffeine is making me a thousand times more productive!

Past Chapters: Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chapter Three: Hey Jealousy 

“Are you sure?”

Rachel pushed as smile to her lips as she gently squeezed Garth’s thigh in the driver’s seat. “Yea, of course.”

“I feel like I’m being shitty boyfriend.” Garth frowned, tenderly taking her hand and kissing her fingertips. “I’m cutting our vacation short.”

“We’re going to Gar and Terra’s engagement party.” Unfortunately. “It’s not officially a vacation.”

“An engagement party at a bed and breakfast, so it’s kind of like a little vacation.” Garth shrugged satisfied. “A couple nights away, room service, food, drinks, and I think there is even a beach.”

Rachel’s thoughts went to tequila. This weekend wouldn’t be so bad after all. “They’ll understand.”

“I’m honestly not worried about them understanding.” Garth admitted. “I’m more concerned about my girlfriend understanding.”

“Your girlfriend understands.” Rachel nodded. “You’re finishing up a case with the Coast Guard. Duty calls. You can ride back up with Wally, and I can drive your car back with Jinx if you’d like.” The would leave her more time to lay in bed and work out her feelings with some alcohol.  

“My girlfriend is too good.” Garth gushed with a goofy grin.

‘Of a liar.’ She couldn’t help but think. Rachel pushed a smile to her face and gave his tangled hand a little squeeze.

Terra had decided that it would be fun, it was the blonde’s word, to host a weekend long engagement party at a bed and breakfast outside the city.

The landscape was a wondrous blend of sea and mountainside. The villa was located over an hour out of Jumpy City, overlooking the coastline. Even though the air held a wintery chill, the plants looked lively around the estate and the beach below looked inviting.

Rachel sighed as they pulled up. The gate leading up to the villa was decorated with a bright white ‘congratulations’ banner written in fancy script surrounded by gold and pink streamers with sparkly balloons fitted on the end. “A bit much for an engagement party.” She muttered as the car slowly parked.

“Hey.” Apparently, it was loud enough for her companion to hear her. “You only get married once, right?” He grinned, planting another kiss to her fingers. “Just wait until it’s our turn.” Garth winked, exiting the car.

The violet eyes were wide with disbelief as she sat in the passenger seat of the black sedan. He was thinking of marriage. Her stomach fluttered sourly. The commitment would certainly help rid any hope of a ‘fairy tale ending’, but the thought made her feel hopeless. She didn’t have time to think about the future.

Rachel had to focus on the right now. She had to focus on getting through this evening.

With a deep breath, she exited the car pushing a smile to her features. Maybe if she kept her face like this long enough, she wouldn’t feel as empty.

Garth stood at the back of the car. Their luggage in one hand and the other stretched out for her to take.

Taking his hand, the pair made their way inside the villa.

“Bout time!” Wally shouted as the pair entered.

“Forgive us for not getting here early.” Garth quipped back blandly, dropping the luggage to the floor. “Are we the last ones here?”

“Yea,” The redhead confirmed. “Vic just got here to be fair. He said that Bee had some things to finish up, and then she would be here tomorrow.”

“Bonfire?” Rachel questioned, hand going to her hip skeptically. “In winter?”

“Technically it’s still fall, but,” Wally continued. “We’ve got this whole place to ourselves which means we have dibs on the beach as well.”

“In thirty degree weather?”

“Fifty-five, actually. And, we’ll have a large fire.” He nodded. “Also, beer. Lots and lots of beer to help warm us through the night.”

“Whatever.” She sighed.

Garth chuckled. “I take it everyone’s already outside then?”

“Yep.”

“We’re gonna drop our stuff upstairs and we right out.”

“Aye, Aye Captain.” Wally saluted before disappearing into the back of the house.

The bonfire was filled with their usual shenanigans.

Victor stationed at the grill, teasing Garfield with meat and threatening to toss his vegetarian options in the sea.

Richard competitively initiating a game of flag football at sunset, only to be shocked with his wife’s team was named victorious.

Wally threatening to throw Jinx into sea. Rachel had to give him credit this time. He actually made good on his promise, and well, surprisingly, lived to tell the tale.

The fire roared, and the friends had settled into their usual round of conversation. Things felt exactly how they’d always been.

She dug her toes into the sand, resting her head against Garth's shoulder. Her fingers wrapped around her beer bottle as her eyes watched the dancing flames.

“I feel like we should do something.” Wally commented, picking up another beer from the cooler.

“We are.” Terra gestured to the bonfire and the people around it. “Drinking, talking, laughing.” She paused. “More drinking.”

“I mean like a game.”

“So Richard can have some more sour grapes.” Victor teased, still feeling the pride of his victory. “Up top Kori!” He raised his hand.

The orange haired woman grinned, slapping her hand to his victorious. “Indeed!”

“Oh, yea still undefeated, baby!”

“Whatever, I’d like to see you defeat me without the help of my wife.”

“And break up the dream team, no thank you, sir.”

“No more team sports.” Wally  corrected.

“Drinking games.” Gar nodded, knowing exactly what he meant.

“Beer Pong? Jinx suggested.

Terra laughed, resting her head on her fiance’s shoulder. “Not drunk enough for that yet.” She grinned. “Later.”

“Never have I ever is always good.” Richard suggested.

“I’m sure that was more fun when we were still teenagers.” Rachel insisted, ignoring the affection across from her taking another drink. “I’m pretty sure we’ll all end up drunk.”

“So we all win.” Wally grinned. “Except for Richard cause he’s a boy scout.” The redhead man saluted.

“I think we’re all on an even playing field.” Gar looked around the table. His eyes narrowed, sizing up his competitors, his hand slipped down to Terra’s thigh.

Rachel ignored the heat of the green eyes making their way around the circle. She blamed the flushing on her face on flames, and the nausea of his affections on the beer.

“It’s pretty even.”

Wally sneered playfully. “Noooo, it really isn’t.”

“I don’t even want to know.” Victor decided.

“Me either.” Garth decided quickly.

“Oh you guys have too.” Wally called out.

“What have you done?” Maybe if she played the part of girlfriend, she’d become it. Rachel wrapped her arms around Garth’s, resting her chin to his shoulder. She tilted her head playfully.  

“Good question.” Garth agreed, pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

“Let’s find out.” Wally insisted, pulling a bottle of whiskey from his bag. “You lie, penalty shot. After each round we all do a shot.”

“Seriously, Fireball?” Jinx frowned remembering her past experience with the whiskey.

“Oh yea, and that’s not all!”

The game began as it always did.

They laughed.

They drinked.

It was as it always was.

But anytime Rachel felt the warmth of normalcy, the flicker of Terra’s engagement ring and bright white bride sash from across the bonfire would catch her eye and the cold reality would set in all over again.

They weren’t just hanging out. They weren’t just getting together and playing a game.

This was an engagement party.

They were celebrating.

That silly piece of jewelry made it unbearable to witness the couple’s affections. That piece of jewelry reminded her why she felt so empty.

She took another swig of her beer feeling her chest tighten.

“I’ll be back.” Her hand gently touched her boyfriend’s shoulder.

Garth pulled himself away from the current conversation. A playful frown crossed his lips. “You okay?”

“Yea,” Rachel lied, putting her bottle in the sand. “I was gonna go dig out the hoodie I packed. It’s a little chilly out here.” Believable enough.

“Alright.” He accepted, kissing her forehead. “Hurry back, so you can take your shot.”

“I will.” Rachel nodded, standing quietly. Seemingly unnoticed, she moved away from the bonfire and walked up the path that led to house.

She slammed the door behind her. Dropping her sneakers to the dark hardwood floor, she slid to the floor.

“I can do this.” Rachel reminded herself.

She’d honestly had years to prepare for this moment.

Rachel could remember when the two reunited as teenagers. Terra was living outside of the world of being a superhero, and Garfield had seemed to have given up them rekindling. So you can imagine the surprise on everyone’s faces when the blonde reached out to him.

“I can handle this.” Violet eyes closed as she reminded herself that she’d been through worse.

She could deal with this disappointment even though she, truthfully, never expected the couple to last. It was terrible for her to admit it, but it was the truth. And it felt worse that their relationship endured and thrived.

“You’ve been through worse.” Rachel whispered, remembering that at she’d, literally, survived going to hell and back. “You can deal with this.” Her eyes closed and all she could see was that engagement ring glimmering in in the light of the campfire.

She couldn’t remember if her jealousy had been this unforgiving before they were engaged.

It was times like this she wished for her old emotionally restrictive life. “I can deal with this.” Rachel decided, giving herself a firm nod. “With alcohol.”

Surely this place had to have an extensive liquor cabinet. At the very least a well stocked wine cellar.

Rachel stood, exiting the kitchen and making her way to the large dining room. Past the formal table, she spotted a sidebar cabinet stocked with liquor.

“Of course.” She cursed, pulling on the locked cabinet door. She stepped back from the cabinet, eying the furniture thoughtfully.

Well, the little pillow in their room said “Our Home is Your Home”, so that applied for the liquor too. Her eyes glowed white with power as the energy fizzled at her fingertips. With a click, the door swung open.

“I forgot you could do that.”

Rachel whipped around to see Garfield standing in the doorway with an amused smirk. “I can do a lot more than that.” She quipped. “Do you also forget you’re green as well?” She played off her embarrassment turning back to the cabinet reaching for a bottle of vodka. It wasn’t tequila, but it would have to do.

Gar chuckled, looking down at his pale hands. “I actually do. I hardly ever take the modifier off anymore. It’s almost like it never happened.”

“I’ll say.”

He took another step into the dining room. “I noticed you’ve been gone awhile. Are you alright?”

“Peachy.” She answered refusing to look at him or to acknowledge the warmth spreading on her face. Rachel focused on unscrewing the cap. “I got tired of drinking beer. Needed a little quiet.” And watching the public displays him and his new fiancée, but he really didn’t need to know that part.

“So you went searching for,” Gar walked over to her, inspecting the label on the bottle. “Vodka? Hm, I thought you’d be more of a wine girl. Red specifically.”

“Occasionally.” She corrected, taking a swig.

“Really?” He seemed genuinely amused.

“But this will do nicely.”

“Want some company?”

She shook her head. She didn’t need to sulk with the object of her affection. “I’m good, I’d hate for you to miss your party.”

He shrugged. “They’re already two steps from wasted. When you left they using the Fireball instead of the beer. We have a lot of kinky friends, let me tell you.”

She laughed taking another swig.

“I think they’re playing beer pong now with Jager penalty shots.”

“Beer pong?” She asked, wrinkling her nose. They were getting too old for that shit. “How’s that going to work with all that sand?”

“I, honestly, didn’t want to know. I think that’s the point of the Jager penalty shots.” Gar admitted. “And, I think they are too drunk to care.”

“Why aren’t you drunk?”

“My metabolism is still off the charts even though I can’t remember the last time I shifted.” He smirked. “And I avoided the Fireball.”

Rachel nodded with a small laugh.

“Why aren’t you drunk?”

She took another swig of vodka. “Half demon, remember? I’m a little buzzed. My alcohol tolerance with quite high.” Unfortunately. She sighed. “You don’t have to stay with me. I’m in good company.” She motioned to the bottle of vodka.

Gar chuckled. “And leave me to babysit them outside?” He took a seat on the rug next to her.

“It is your party after all.”

“So,” He took the bottle of vodka from her hand, taking swallow. “I’ll do as I please.”

[wrestlingisanime]

My Wrestle Kingdom 13 Mental Preparations

This Friday, I'm going to try to stay up and watch Wrestle Kingdom…this will be like the 3rd time I attempt to do this. Ever year around this time, I tell myself, "I'm finally going to start to get into watching New Japan regularly, starting with Wrestle Kingdom!" but it always falls through.

It's mainly the time difference that kills it for me. Even back when I didn't have a job and would regularly stay up until 6 AM, I couldn't sit still enough to watch the entirety of the show. I remember the first time I did this, I was doing laundry while watching some people dressed up like Doraemon dancing on stage or something. That's the only thing I remember about that show. 

Last year, I tried to stay up to watch it, but I had to go to work the next day, so I eventually went to bed. I remember waking up at 5 AM, getting ready for work and thinking, "I wonder who won between Jericho and Omega," and then finding out the show was still going on as I drove to work. I ended up downloading the show and watching Omega vs Jericho while waiting at the DMV to renew my license… 

Anyway, this year, I'm going to actually do it! I'm going to stay up and pay attention to the show! I have my New Japan World subscription ready. The show starts on a Friday, so I don't have to worry about getting up early for work the next day. I even plan on taking a nap Friday evening in an attempt to combat any sleepiness I might encounter staying up to some crazy hour!

Now, I will admit, I really don't follow New Japan that closely at all. I'm familiar with some of the names…Omega, Okada, Naito, Kota Ibushi, Tama Tonga… but I've never really watched their matches in full. I don't know much about any of the storylines going in. But, I think that it's important to broaden my knowledge and expand my horizons into the Japanese pro wrestling world, especially in my quest to compare wrestling and anime. I mean, Japanese wrestling is as close to live action anime as it gets, right?! 

So…I'm just going to ramble about the NJPW stuff I'm KIND OF familiar with in an attempt to prep myself for watching Wrestle Kingdom 13. So let's get started.

PRE-SHOW NO.1 CONTENDER GAUNTLET MATCH FOR NEVER OPENWEIGHT 6-MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

Togi Makabe, Toru Yano & Ryusuke Taguchi vs Yuji Nagat, Jeff Cobb & David Finlay vs Hirooki Goto, Beretta & Chuckie T vs Minoru Suzuki, Lance Archer & Davey Boy Smith Jr. vs  Hangman Page, Yujiro Takahashi & Marty Scurll

When I first looked at a match-up graphic of this match, I had no idea why there were so many people in a tag team match. I was confused about who was teaming with who, but I think I've figured it out.

I recognize a few names on this list, and I'm just going to detail what little I know about these wrestlers.

I've heard the name "Taguchi" said in a sexy Irish accent before…So this is the Ryusuke Taguchi that used to be buddies with Finn Balor/Prince Devitt. I don't know much more than that.

David Finlay sounds like he'd be the son of Fit Finlay…which apparently is the case! I don't know much about any of the Finlays except Fit was in one of the N64 AKI wrestling games.

Jeff Cobb, aka, the monster Mantza Cueto! I've seen him wrestle live as Matanza at the Impact/Lucha Underground show on Wrestlemania weekend last year. He's pretty freakin' good.

Chuckie T, I can only assume is that Chuck Taylor dude who was always the star of those Chikara videos I used to watch all the time, with him squealing like a little girl and yelling at children.

Marty Scurll is that "Villain" dude with the umbrella. He was a very popular wrestling cosplay at A-Kon last year. Lots of dudes with masks and umbrellas.

Hangman Page apparently killed Joey Ryan with a telephone and was haunted by cowboy boots. His original Bullet Club shirt was also a major inspiration for my Doki Doki Wrestling Club shirts, specifically Sayori's for obvious reasons…

Minoru Suzuki. I always hear how freakin' badass this dude is. Looking forward to see him wreck people.

I've heard some other names before, like Toru Yano, Yuji Nagata, and Davey Boy Smith…but I honestly don't know much about them. Hopefully that'll change soon! 

As for the "NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship" …well, I recently learned that the NEVER Openweight Championship is a title that isn't restricted by weight class. When I first looked at this card, I was very confused as how a 3-man team could compete to be a contender for a single title…but Wikipedia just now tells me that there is indeed a separate NEVER Tag Team Championship. That makes sense!

I still don't know what "NEVER" means. Apparently it's "New Blood," "Evolution," "Valiantly," "Eternal," and "Radical." Yeah, a bunch of random English words put together to form a nonsense acronym. Sounds pretty Japanese for sure. Reminds me of the notorious B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. organization…

1ST MATCH  60 MINUTES LIMIT NEVER OPENWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Kota Ibushi vs Will Ospreay

I really hope this match isn't an hour long, but…

So, of course I'm familiar with Kota Ibushi! He's Kenny's Golden Lover and he's done a bunch of crazy cool DDT matches. I think he was also in the WWE Cruiserweight Classic. And he starred in a kaiju movie that I really want to watch.

I only know Will Ospreay from that anime-as-hell match he had with Ricochet a few years ago that Vader got really mad about (R.I.P.).

Anyway, they both seem like amazing wrestlers, so sounds like it'll be a sick match…even if it somehow does last an hour.

2ND MATCH 60 MINUTES LIMIT IWGP Jr. TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

Yoshinobu Kanemaru & El Desperado vs Roppongi 3K vs BUSHI & Shingo Takagi 

Why can't these tag matches just have 2 teams!!!

I honestly don't know much about any of these people. I've heard the name "Roppongi 3K" before, and it's a cool sounding name, so that's cool. I also probably get "BUSHI" and Kota Ibushi confused sometimes.

Oh, and I guess I need to finally look up what "IWGP" stands for. Okay, so apparently it stands for "International Wrestling Grand Prix" which is the governing body of NJPW…what. I don't know what that means. I have never heard a human utter the words "International Wrestling Grand Prix" before…huh, weird. I'd rather they just call it the NJPW championship, but I guess there's a legacy there that they want to preserve, so that's fair. Also, weird title names seem to go hand-in-hand with Japanese wrestling anyway. 

3RD MATCH 60 MINUTES LIMIT BRITISH HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Tomoiro Ishii vs Zack Sabre Jr.

I did not know that New Japan had a British Heavyweight Championship.

Like many Japanese wrestlers, I've heard the name Tomohiro Ishii mentioned in podcasts a lot, but I can't envision a specific person or match in my head. Sorry. :(

I don't know if I've seen Zack Sabre Jr. wrestle, either. I know he was in the WWE Cruiswerweight Classic, but that's it.

They're probably both really good, though, and very deserving of whatever this Japanese British championship is.

4TH MATCH 60 MINUTES LIMIT IWGP TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

Tanga Loa & Tama Tonga vs Sanada & EVIL vs The Young Bucks 

Seriously, do they just not have 2v2 tag matches in Japan?

I'm very familiar with Tama Tonga. He's that Bullet Club dude that used to have face paint that reminded me of the box art to Knights of the Old Republic 2. Much like I haven't played any KOTOR game, I don't think I've ever watched Tama Tonga actually wrestle. I know that he's done some goofy stuff on Twitter recently. Also, he's got a cool name that's fun to say: "Tama Tonga."

Speaking of cool names, who doesn't like the name "EVIL"? That name..it's just…so freaking good. I keep hoping there's an association with that one Sponge Bob episode, but probably not.

Also, the Young Bucks…yeah they're very popular, but, again, I don't think I've ever seen them wrestle. I just know that they superkick people a lot, they have streamers on their pants, and they're very good at selling merch. 

5TH MATCH 60 MINUTES LIMIT IWGP US HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Cody vs Juice Robinson

Obviously, I know who Cody is. He was that dude who used to be Stardust! …man, Stardust was cool. Stardust is literally THE reason I started watching wrestling again. It was a bummer to hear that Cody didn't like doing the character. He was so good at it, though.

I recently learned that Juice Robinson used to be CJ Parker in NXT. That was pretty mindblowing, because CJ Parker was one of the standout characters for me back when I first watched NXT. Apparently he's a good wrestler, too, so cool. 

Also, I'm almost tempted to ask why there's an IWGP US Championship…but I guess "I" in IWGP stands for "International." …but why isn't the British title the IWGP British Championship??? Looking that up now…oh, so the British Championship is actually the RPW British Heavyweight Championship owned by Revolution Pro Wrestling. Huh.

6TH MATCH 60 MINUTES LIMIT IWGP Jr. HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

KUSHIDA vs Taiji Ishimori

I remember a long time ago, I watched some clips from an older (then recent) Wrestle Kingdom that featured a team called the Time Splitters, which I thought was cool because I like the video game TimeSplitters: Future Perfect. But also, I guess this was a time traveler wrestling gimmick, and that's cool, and I liked hearing the ring announcer go "TIIIIIIIME SPLTITERRRRRRRSSSSS." But that's not even it! They had a freakin' Back to the Future Delorean entrance. And then there was one that had a dude dressed as Doc Brown…and apparently that guy was Taguchi. Huh, weird.

So, I guess KUSHIDA was one of the Time Splitters, so that's cool. I don't if he's still a time traveler or not. I hope he is. 

As for Taiji Ishimori, he's the new "Bone Soldier," and I don't really know much about that, other than Captain New Japan used to be the Bone Soldier and everyone hated that one for some reason, but they like this new one. And Ishimori might be going to WWE? I don't know! 

Oh, I just realized that all these matches have a 60 minute time limit…

7TH MATCH 60 MINUTES LIMIT SPECIAL SINGLE MATCH

Kazuchika Okada vs Jay White

Of course I'm familiar with Okada. He's the Rainmaker! And then he turned into that guy with the balloons…I dunno, but he's in Yakuza 6, so that's cool!

Jay White is apparently the new leader of the Bullet Club. I used to think he was always part of the Bullet Club because I remember seeing Jay White Bullet Club shirts a while back…but apparently he wasn't actually in the Bullet Club until recently? I don't know! I just know that people used to call him "Knife Pervert" and I thought that was funny, so I used it in Doki Doki Wrestling Club.

8TH MATCH 60 MINUTES LIMIT IWGP INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP NO DQ MATCH

Chris Jericho vs Testuya Naito 

Chris Jericho is a guy who wears a scarf and dresses like a mime or something. I don't know. 

I always thought Naito was cool. I like "Tranquilo" and the eyeball thing he does. There's also that super cute Naito teddy bear plush that I would really like to have one day. I once bought a Naito keychain from an anime con artist alley booth. Yeah, I like Naito, and apparently so does everyone else…except Chris Jericho, I guess.

9TH MATCH 60 MINUTES LIMIT IWGP HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Kenny Omega vs Hiroshi Tanahashi

I first heard of Kenny Omega when people were sharing that clip of a grown dude wrestling a 9-year-old Japanese girl. I also learned that he was a huge nerd and spoke fluent Japanese. From my limited perspective, he didn't seem to blow up in popularity until he debuted as "The Cleaner" in the Bullet Club. Now he's like the most popular non-WWE wrestler in the world. I wasn't ever a super huge fan of Kenny, but he DID put Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon on his Top 10 video games list last year, so he's cool in my book. I wish he played fighting games other than Street Fighter, though…

As for Tanahashi, I remember on like my second attempt to stay up and watch Wrestle Kingdom, people kept saying that Tanahashi was the "John Cena of Japan." I'm assuming that's still true to this day. Honesty, that's all I know about Tanahashi, lol.

So, I assume Tanahashi is going to win and Kenny will finally have his rematch against a grown up Haruka!

And that's it!! That's all I know about Wrestle Kingdom 13. Hopefully I'll finally start to get into NJPW following this Wrestle Kingdom, because I honestly think Japanese puroresu knowledge is absolutely necessary in my campaign to prove that wrestling…is anime.