#storms dont last
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Hope nhs keyworker thank you doctor nurse rainbow enamel metal pin badge lapel d Hope NHS Keyworker Thank You Doctor Nurse RAINBOW ENAMEL METAL PIN BADGE LAPEL D Design: D1A Brand new and in sealed Packs Properties: 3 dimension, Rainbow colour enamel (Colours of rainbow may slightly vary - subject to availability) Color: Gold Plated Description: Stunning, elegant and beautiful. It is the perfect accessory for party, gift, weddings, proms, pageants, causal wear or other special occasions. Size is approx. 2.9cm x 1.6cm x 1cmWeight apporx 3g *****RRP of these brooches is £16.99 each. One brooch Pin per sale unless buyer adds more quantity from the drop down list. These brooches are just arrived and design iscustomized by SikhArtefacts and we are the only store who stock these brooches in UK. Please note light sky blue shade in most of the brooches is due to a camera flash effect/light conditions. Please do let us know about any special requests about wrapping these brooches while ordering. Use of Brooches: Brooches, once a mainstay of every woman’s wardrobe, now come and go for many in the same manner as other jewelry trends. It is, however, easy to make a positive case for this sophisticated piece of jewelry. It is, after all, more versatile than any other jewelry item. Brooches can be used the standard way: as an accessory to fashion. But that is by no means their only use. They can also be used on clothing accessories as well as in the hair. Purchase one or more brooches, if they are not readily on hand. Use the brooch on clothing. Attach a brooch to the high neckline of a blouse, dress or jacket. Use one or more brooches (in a cluster) on the lapel of a suit jacket or place one or more on the shoulder of a jacket or dress. Pin several small brooches over the buttons of a blouse or dress to liven up the clothing or show off a collection. Try using smaller pins as a substitute for cuff links on a blouse by just pinning the brooch over the cuff's button. Hook a brooch through a “magna pin.” This converts the brooch to a magnetic closure, thereby doing away with the need to stick the pin part of the brooch into fabrics that could otherwise be damaged by the process. This makes it simple to use the brooch on heavy fabrics like boiled wool, suede or leather. Utilize the brooch to help securely attach an accessory to clothing such as a scarf, a shawl or a shrug. Attach a brooch to a hat to feminize it or give it a touch of pizzazz. Pin one or more brooches onto a handbag or clutch to convert a daytime look to evening chic. Use a magna pin for heavier fabrics, suedes and leathers. Convert a brooch to a pendant by attaching it directly to a thick necklace chain, omega or collar. Hook a pin over a string of beads or double them up, pulling them together around the neck. Close with a brooch to create a unique choker. Use a pin converter to turn a brooch into a standard necklace pendant. Turn a brooch into a piece of hair jewelry. Attach a pin to a headband. Using wire or thread, attach a brooch to a hair comb or barrette. Run the pin of a brooch through the elastic of a ponytail holder for a top knot accent piece. Attach a brooch directly to the hair (or a wig). Good use on Indian Sarees, suits, dresses and dupattas etc. Used to tie and decorate wedding/parties chair clothes on the back of chairs. Excellent to decorate Christmas presents and gifts. It can either be used on the top of invitation cards/letters for wedding parties, birthdayparties, evening parties or casual invitations. This willcertainly give a posh look to your invitations. It can be used for the decoration of Wedding, Birthday and Anniversary Cakes. If you know any other use of brooches please let us know and we will share these ideas with ourprivileged customers. Thank you in advance. Please do not forget to add us to your favourite sellers list and keep looking at our listings, we are going to launch a wide range of brooches and a big variety of SMART Fashions Jewellery for parties and evening wear very soon. We are UK based supplier. Items can be collected from our shop in Rochester, Kent, UK. Please check 100% positive feedback received for this item. We have 100% positive feedback. Please bid with confidence and check our other fantastic listings. If you are not happy with your purchase we will give you 100% refund. Postage discount will be given for multibuys. **** Please note any Gift bags or Organza bags or any other gifts are subject to availability and are not part of sale. Country/Region of Manufacture: China Material: Enamel Theme: Rainbow Type: Badges/ Pins Sub-Theme: HOPE https://www-onlinesikhstore-com.myshopify.com/products/hope-nhs-keyworker-thank-you-doctor-nurse-rainbow-enamel-metal-pin-badge-lapel-d
#storms dont last#forever NHS#THANK YOU#Key Workers#Social Services#Corona Covid#Covid 19 Lockdown#Nurses doctors#Life Saviours#Gay Lasbian Brooch#Thank You Pin#Celebrity Brooch
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You know what I love about the kiss? How fucking joyful it was. It was so light and so happy and so freeing.
The confession was so heavy and came at the last possible moment. Dorian was in his lower register, careful and eloquent. Orym had folded in on himself, shy and quiet. They have the weight of the world in their shoulders and they just needed a moment alone together. To say I love you. To let the other know. It all hinged on the moment before there was no going back.
But this. The kiss. It was after laughter and wedding planning and appreciating little things like lavender honey. Everyone was smiling. Everyone was feeling good. For whatever reason it didn't feel hopeless then. In that moment futures existed. Tomorrows existed. And Orym had one. Orym had a future and a tomorrow in Dorian.
Orym was so moved by all the happiness in the air that he confidently took Dorian by the hand to bring him out to the hall, told, then asked, him he was going to kiss him. All of Orym's fears melt away for ten whole seconds. Dorian stuttered and fumbled his words and kissed him back.
It was so cute. It was so joyous.
You know what it reminds me of? The stolen century. After Lup and Barry fall in love over years and years and they play this beautiful duet together. They lock eyes and smile at each other and steal away, running up the valley, away from it all. That moment of holding each other and just keep on not letting go.
The unrelenting giddiness of it all. The excitement. The glee. The promise of future. Wanting a future. Especially if it's together.
#silver sending stones#orym of the air ashari#dorian storm#cr spoilers#dorym#im crying a lot#lol my phone autocorrected a bit into a lot and like#yeah ill keep it#anyways.#theyre very soft#theyre very sweet#dorian's “ooooh shit yes” is the cutest thing?#and oryms “im gonna kiss you WAIT may i kiss you” is ehajrbkwjd#dont get me started on “oh i want”#DONT GET ME STARTED ON OH I WANT#because that has also done something to me#i know dorym has been very#first love (◕ᴗ◕✿)#inexperienced (◕ᴗ◕✿)#out of practice (◕ᴗ◕✿)#but the enthusiasm in his voice.#the “im ready to start my life” of it all#im ready to start my life with you#if i didnt already make an edit with dorian and dust & ashes id fucking make it now#someone please ask me about dorian and pierre parallels im dying over here#because dorian storm signing thats last “im ready” because he is ready to love and be loved#im sick#im making myself sick#i love them so much#im going to cry
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diversity win your spam emails are queer
#deltarune#spamton#swatch#art#doodles#pansexual#lgbt#bigshot spamton#stupid joke ive had sitting in my head for months whjbfghbjdfg. artist brain override gay brain (me too). good for him though!!#me refilling my printer ink tanks: omg my printer is pan... soooo coool....#and dont forget that he owned the mettaton dress of transgenderism either. arguably this has the trans flag colors too#wait theres a car joke here also. TransAm? more like TransPan. haha nice#+ his glasses fit the theme so Bonus Spam + i changed my 90s swat a little again#they're just gonna be different every time i draw them. for funsies. and thats fine. i havent even posted 90s queen yet SMFH !!!!!#there's something to be said about metaphors in their 90s fashion choices. something something more colorful design back then#something something not hiding their eyes yet something something Learned A Lesson....#you could read that a certain way. or perhaps not#obligatory 'my swatch uses they them' tag#obligatory 'fine to tag as ship if you want idc' tag#obligatory 'oh god i swear im trying so hard to draw and post more' tag#i saw a tag on a post from like 2019 that said 'man i only posted 9 times last month!' and im like. god. i wish i could post 9 times a#month Now???? honey you had a big storm comin#i just keep starting things i dont have the energy to finish. except for a silly gay color profile joke apparently#im sure the Smoke Smell goes reeeal good with the Dumpster Smell btw.
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i'd like to think in this scene as kakania gets teary over isolde, hofmann is in her seat pointedly ignoring what's happening and there's this split-second moment between her and marcus meeting eyes and silently greta convinces her to comfort kakania.
hofmann's thoughts go something like "hm, letting marcus have hands-on experience on how to deal with emotions running high in a controlled environment is a good decision to make. also. this means i won't have to partake in any of this woman's complicated relationship drama with isolde dittasdorf.
god im not touching that with a ten foot pole as much as i can."
later does she know she gets roped into it in the worst way possible
#kakania#marcus#greta hofmann#reverse 1999#certified storm moments#1.7 spoilers#chapter 6 spoilers#the scene before this was genuinely so funny i was wheezing like a sick hyena#marcus pointing out the discrepancy between the ticket sales and people in the theatre. greta saying 'this must be the work of manus' and#kakania laughing at her and excitedly infodumping about theatre and isolde. hofmann vienna's most unimpressed woman and saying#'i dont understand any of that. you people are more insane than manus.' then proceeding to read tosca's premise in the most dry#and droning voice known to man to the point kakania yells 'HOW DID YOU MAKE THAT BORING???!' and becoming isolde's#no. 1 defender despite what happened last chapter. their beef is hilarious i want hofmann carnally#huh wait what who said that
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I've often said Bell's Hells are my favorite because it's just a bunch of queer characters with mommy and daddy issues and now Dorian has been added to that group
#bells hells#dorian storm#i feel like we already knew this but last episode really ramped it up#critical role#no this has nothing to do with my own issues#no dont look at ally issues i just shoved under the rug in a panic
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Winter warmers day 19: thigh riding. Maxiel. About 400 words.
Daniel loves every version of Max.
He loves a very focused Max, eyes fixed on data, or the sim, or the track, staring intensely through a visor. He loves a soft Max, curled up on their couch with the cats, letting Daniel pet the three of them the same way, gentle touches on fur and hair. He loves a passionate Max, getting too into something, throwing his hands around in the air, wide gestures to showcase his big feelings. He loves a turned on Max, impatient and whiny, pawing at Daniel's clothes, so so eager to please.
But one of his favorite versions is this one: Max, already two orgasms in and just as desperate, using Daniel's body to make himself feel good.
He's sweaty and flushed, eyes hazy and pupils huge, holding tightly on Daniel's shoulders as he grinds on his thigh, his open mouthed pants mixing with sweet, breathless moans.
Daniel's skin is shining with a mix of sweat and lube, and he shudders as Max's dick drags over his tattoos, the tip bumping into his hip, making Max whine.
Daniel can't even imagine how sensitive he must be, after coming once on Daniel's fingers and once on his cock, but Max sometimes likes this, the mix of pleasure and pain just enough to finally satisfy him.
"Come on, baby," Daniel encourages, gripping his hips where they are always soft, no matter how hard he trains, helping him move when his rhythm falters, muscles trembling.
"Daniel," Max moans, seemingly the only word left on his heavy tongue, dropping his forehead on Daniel's shoulder, sweat making them stick together. Everything is hot, sticky and slippery, and Daniel loves it.
Loves Max like this. Loves Max in every way.
Max's grind turns into sharp, desperate thrusts, and Daniel knows he's close, can tell from the hitch in his breath, the way his thighs are trembling where they're bracketing Daniel's, the trembling of his fingers.
He bows his head, brushing a kiss against Max's sweaty hair, then down on the shell of his ear.
"Mess me up, Maxy," he murmurs, before biting his lobe.
Max comes like that, with a broken moan and one last thrust, movements slowing down to small hitching circles, limbs trembling as he collapses against Daniel's chest, panting.
#a last one before i go to bed#i still want to do winter storm which was todays prompt#but i had a few to catch up on first#i know the ending of this is quite abrupt but i wrote like two more paragraphs and then i was like#well those suck so i just cut them#it is what it is skdfndsk#maxiel#my writing#winter warmers 2024#and yes all my smut is the same leave me alone i dont know what im doing
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no of fence to jon snow fans who for some reason care about his exact age, but these discussions just annoy me no end. not only bc there's no way any weirwood flashbacks bran has to rhaegar/lyanna will come with time/datestamps, but also bc there's always comments like this:
SEVERAL turns of the moon (ie, months)?! have these people never seen a human baby before or just have no concept of their ages? even if we take into account travel time from the toj to wf, meaning jon was not a newborn too fresh out the oven when catelyn and robb arrived, there's still a difference between a newborn and a 3mo and an even bigger difference between those infants and an older baby 5-7mo. there's very good reasons these lines were cut. whatever birthdates can be worked out internally for jon and robb from when they're first mentioned as 15 and 16 don't matter in the end, bc grrm doesn't care about a consistent timeline and the actual text of catelyn's pov and ned's convo with robert about cheating on her should outweigh any guesstimates about jon's official nameday wrt robb's. catelyn may not have cared for jon, but she would sure as hell have noticed his nameday if it came before robb's and made him ned's firstborn. if jon's birthday canonically came before robb's then either ned's cover story would not involve adultery (not impossible for him to sire a bastard before his wedding), or he'd just give jon a new nameday along with his new name to fit the adultery lie. it makes no sense for him to lie about one and not the other, undermining the big lie with a little public clue of his story not adding up. whatever else she was as a stepmother, cat wasn't stupid and a bastard who was actually the eldest son being raised alongside her trueborn heir could be an even bigger insult than whether he was born of adultery or not.
BUT, the unknowability of jon's true birthday is not the only reason this annoys me, it's bc this is all based on the assumption that jon must be older since rhaegar/lyanna ran off together before ned married cat, as if both boys must have been conceived asap as robb canonically was when his parents consummated their marriage. and that's not how human reproduction works! even if you don't understand how fast babies grow in the first year, you should know that people who get pregnant do so through ovulation cycles and a lucky sperm finding an egg and all that, not just immediately getting knocked up as soon as one has p-in-v sex for the first time. not unless you only know mean girls sex ed where if you have sex you will get pregnant and die. (even tho lyanna did die, there's plenty of canon examples where pregnancy did not lead straight to death. also examples of people who did not get pregnant right away and even some who are/were sexually active and childless without always having moon tea on hand.) we can't know how long lyanna was having sex before that sperm+egg match happened or even how long she was with rhaegar before losing her technical virginity. if they were married, doesn't it make sense to think they didn't consummate their relationship until the wedding night either? that's the only leverage there is to ensure a status as wife rather than just mistress.
and while i just said grrm doesn't care about exact timelines and a lot is still foggy surrounding the rebellion and esp rhaegar, there is one timemarker wrt robert's rebellion he voluntarily threw in, time and time again: that stannis was besieged at storm's end for almost a whole year. that siege, which mind you, did not match the duration of the entire war. it only started after robert won his battles at gulltown and summerhall, returned to storm's end, and then went out and lost the battle of ashford, leaving his homeland open to the reachermen. the same siege which only ended when ned made a detour there after the sack of king's landing, before going to the toj. even if lyanna may not have given birth that exact day ned found her, she could only be waiting in that bloody bed for weeks at the most, not months. so if rhaegar knocked her up the very same night he carried her off and jon was still a newborn when ned found her after the siege of storm's end had ended, wouldn't that mean lyanna was pregnant for well over a year? that's not how human pregnancy works either! so, maybe that's proof that jon and robb, whichever order they were actually born in, were actually very close in age as babies, much closer than if they were both conceived asap.
and really, jon's actual birthdate does not matter imho, when he was raised not just as the bastard to robb's trueborn heir, but with robb also known by catelyn and the world as ned's firstborn (which he was, in any case, as jon was ned's nephew by birth). what difference could a birthdate before robb's make (even were there some means of discovery) after ned, cat, and robb are all dead? if one is looking only at his birth parents then he's only a firstborn child on lyanna's side, but definitely a second son on rhaegar's side. maybe he was always meant to be a second son with a not much older half-brother! even if the aegon fka young griff is not in fact rhaegar's son, he'll still be known as aegon vi targaryen, meaning jon will never be known as any father's elder son. if i may reference mean girls again, it's not going to happen.
#valyrianscrolls#asoiaf#asoiaf meta#robb stark#jonathan snowflake starkgaryen#i want him to succeed me as king in the north#jon snow#ned stark#lyanna stark#like this isn't prompted by anyone except that reddit post and its comments this has just annoyed me for so long#that's why i made that show!robb/show!jon coming of age gifset years ago bc narratively jon is always a second son#bc robb did everything first as elder bro and the only milestones jon will hit first will be the those robb can't since he's dead for good#(obviously starting with jon being first male stark to be brought back from the dead)#not that everyone interested in this debate thinks this way but it just feels tied to the idea of jon being a trueborn heir#not only was he never a bastard he was an eldest boy! eldest surviving boy with those pesky half-dornish sibs gone! point missed.#sorry i just dont think grrm means for a targ restoration with king jon any more than fake eldest boy kendall roy could win his succession#(c)lsb#i had to look up all the quotes on the big storm's end siege bc it makes me feel like i'm taking crazy pills#thinking what abt stannis starving for a year while others are like we just can't know how long rr was. was it even 9mons?#like yeah lollys's pregnancy doesn't add up but bc grrm really slowed the tl down postacok prob w/o really thinking#thats diff from repeatedly saying something lasted almost a year when he didn't have to give such a timeframe!
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M y
Bel oved
#i am going to spontaneously combust if i dont make out with mal within the next two seco💥💥💥🔥💥🔥🔥🔥💥💥💥🔥🔥💥💥💥🔥💥🔥#hhhhhhhhhhhjhjhjffjhdjdhffnhchff#i wa mt#to sit on his lap and hold his face and kiss him ten million times#i need to o#hold his b ig hanvd and kisss him palm and tgen his wrist and his arms and his shoulders and chest and face anf face and face and face and#hhhebdbbdbdbchdndxjsbdjh#i want to lay with him and kiss every single one of his scars im being so fr#ill kiss every last one and tell him how wonderful and sweet and handsome and gorgour and amazing and perfect he is between each kiss#i need to snuggle and hold him for hours on end without getting up#uh#i mean#meow or smth#howdy folks its that time again#i lov e mywife so muchgu ys hes so hhdjbbhjfbcbhdbh#malware my beloved#storm rambles#storm loses it
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"Each unjust act, even committed for the sake of a just cause, carries its curse within." The Accursed Kings, 1956
#tdp#the dragon prince#the dragon prince art#tdp fanart#the dragon prince fanart#tdp viren#viren#tdp lord viren#in his emo phase#which is permanent#It's supposed to be a suit#dont ask him when he slept for the last time#eye bags#eye bags are sexy#how I am supposed to function mom I have an emo fourty year old man to think about#I thought putting him his eye contract seal with Aaravos but I thought it would reduce the whole character to his rs with Aary#while actually viren's blood over his hands is the one he spilt both from the innocent and from himself#im also heavily guilty of romanticizing depression#hmmmm look at his face I just want to caress his cheekbones and to get struck by the grey storm of his eyes#i will never stop drawing him like a sick victorian boy
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Class of ‘07 1.01 vs. 1.06
I just really love these shots
#and of course I’m obsessed w the shots of them having a fight in front of this big looming storm that screams bad omen#and then that storm being the thing that traps them together in a shed until they finally open up and reconnect w each other 🥲#class of ‘07#class of 07#WHY DONT ANY OF THEM HAVE LAST NAMES??? also dunno if ship names are goin around yet#Zoe x Amelia#Amelia x zoe#zamelia#zomelia#these are my suggestions if something has not already been picked pls discuss and decide#Emily browning#megan smart
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I refuse to watch Sonic 3 if theres no Amy or Rouge. I refuse to compromise on this front. Both girls need to be there.
#amy rose#rouge the bat#they have all the equipment ready for a sick movie for these two#like Rouge being the only other one besides Knucks searching for the ME#and she found her way to earth during her search#and GUN sees her potential so they recruit her#and amy could’ve been Sonic’s childhood friend from b4 longclaw died#she thought he died with her until she found Tail’s gizmo#she finally finds Sonic in prison and frees him#but he still sees her as a defenceless kid and thus forces her to stay behind while they take down shadow#but she refuses to give up and gets kidnapped by Eggman#and she and Sonic have an argument on the Ark and Amy storms off#shes grumbling to herself until she sees Shadow all alone looking at the Earth#she realizes that just bc shes not strong enough to avoid getting captured doesn’t mean she can’t help in other ways#so she begs Shadow to help them save Earth and her love for humanity reminds him of Maria#and his memory comes back and he goes to fufill Maria’s and Amy’s wish#Sonic asks him whats the deal and Shadow says ‘dont think this is ur doing faker#im simply…. granting a wish#a wish that Amy helped me remember#then he goes off to face the biolizard all cool while Sonic is left in the dust#thinking#then when the Ark is saved and Shadow ‘dies’#Sonic goes up to Amy whos staring through the glass sadly#she realizes hes there and quickly wipes her tears#she says that just you wait one day i’ll be the strongest warrior in the galaxy#and that she’ll make him respect her#and by the time he realizes what he missed out on itll be too late#she says the last part playfully but Sonic is taken back by her sincerity#anyways if they can bring Gerald back from the dead they can certainly put two girls in a movie they belong in#sonic movie criticism
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Windy at my house + power flickering = no comm work = quick laptop doodle
#my characters#i genuinely hoped the wind would die down but like ??? nah?#and the last time we lost power without an actual storm it WAS bc of wind#and so i just get so panicked over please dont fry my tablet with a power surge#if it calms down by tonight i really wanna work on art since i spent almost all day yesterday struggling with a pose and i finally#think i thought of something that could work and then (gestures to the wind) fuck me#also in regards to these two you have seen me drawing deacon a lot recently and i only drew armya once so far#she is a devoted follower to fulj which is really rare since fulj no longer has a large following nor a temple#so when fulj finds her its comforting and reassuring and she adores armya a lot#however the fact that fulj relentlessly teases deacon and calls him names is like..... ok wait would you really be mean to me if it wasnt#for her ? like would you still pick on me? :c and shes like lol yeah dude absolutely#deacon is just constantly dunked on by the lightning group and hes so sad because he wanted to be friends :c#but also the guy wouldnt really recognize the followers if it wasnt for the traces of lady fulj#so if they would wander into the city without having been possessed recently he probably wouldnt even cast a glance their way#nothing personal he just straight up doesnt decipher looks fast at all#he could think they look familiar but then not know why ESPECIALLY if they wear something he's not used to them in#like if armya showed up in something other than her loose white jacket he would not be able to go AH YES ARMYA immediately#he identifies people by hair or clothing details so it kinda messes him up if people remove whatever identifying trait they have#long hair getting a hair cut? suddenly a whole new person#and armya knows this very well since he never looked her way unless fulj was possessing her or trailing her#so she does like to tease him as just. we are both in servitude to a deity and same rank but like. bro youre too easy to mock#(fulj agrees)
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Here's my sucksona. If you even care (yes I know his name is my name . it's EASY and I'm TIRED)
BASICALLY he's a gangrel that got fucked up by Viv and Vex and now his beast form looks like the right and his humanoid one is just fucked up forever to
Me rambling about em under the cut
First this alt of him
OK ANYWAY. ROUGHLY (may change this later) he kinda like. Works for the Weylin twins ???? He brings in bodies for them and aslong as he keeps up with that he's left to his own devices. Doesn't remember his own last name but he didn't really gaf anyways
I KNOWWWWW he's a masquerade breach.
ONE - it is la people up that late in that city have more to worry about than a gay furry running around
TWO- I do not gaf. I think he looks cool SO WHAT.
Ok beast time :]>>>
His funky little beast form was altered by the Weylin twins and now he's just like that . Since he's a gangrel tho he can shape-shift out of it and all that but they fucked him up a little and it altered his usual form to
The snake head doesn't have a brain also (they thought it would disorientate him to much). The eyes and mouth and everything respond to the tigers brain :]. If you cut off the snakes head it'd keep moving you need to cut off the tigers to go for the kill <3. Snake also cannot digest things ! Whatever it swallows will stay in it's stomach area and be coughed up later on, kinda like owl pellets but with literally everything it "eats".
The yellow bits on his back are a rattle !! It's fused to his spine so whenever he shakes it his whole spine does a fun little shake (could be problematic for him in the long wrong but it sounds cool as hell so . WHATEVER)
All I can remember rn is I didn't finish one of the pages for the beast but it is pretty big :)!!! I think vex would stand a little taller than the bottom line for the second set of pecs he's got (for his double wings <333)
#sonas#MyArt#jrwi the suckening#ALSO DISCLAIMER. im using vtm as a SUGGESTION. this is not complaint with whatever that system has going on PROBABLY#the disciplines there are FOR FUN.#he doesn't have a last name but it could so be Weylin#he needs to learn how to get bitches and by bitches i mean the ones who Did This To Him <3#if you have any questions about him PLEASE. ASK. i will yap up a storm#WINGS. so Emizel can't throw this one of a cliff this time LMAOOOO#if i spelt anything wrong dont tell me#ill cry#/lh
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ohhhh my fucking god nobody needs to like know any of this medical tmi but it is literally 11 pm and if im kept up one minute longer when i just laid down trying to go to sleep by my mother YELLING REPEATEDLY that she needs to pee. im going to actually go insane. she got a catheter in. Yesterday. it is working. she won't listen to anyone when they tell her that this is the case. help me jesus. im sure if a nurse comes to check on her tomorrow they'll probably get the same response. my brain will simply explode
#crow.txt#the absolute levels of stress im under could create diamonds out of free floating carbon atoms my fucking god#can i have. Literally just one day of peace. just one!! fuck!!!!#at least now i have SOME validation from everyone else of shit that mom has honestly kinda always done#be absolutely furious and bitchy usually for no good goddamn reason and then immediately turn it off to look good in front of someone else#i had a feeling mom coming home was gonna be utterly miserable sooner rather than later#i literally cannot leave my room without her yelling for dad bc she thinks im him i guess. she has gotten him up like 4 times now#what the fuck do you want any of us to doooooooooooo. according to dad shes also just been really fucking hateful today#including to her SISTER who has been facilitating literally everything medically for her for the last month plus#like on one hand i know its hard and frustrating etc etc absolutely. on the other. what the fuck are you yelling at any of us for!#whatd we do! not a damn thing for the most part! holy shit im exhausted#and then im sure she will have the audacity to wonder why i dont really want to interact with her much rn#its very apparent she doesnt really understand whats going on or how much of anything works at this point including hospice care#but i truly cannot help you when your knee jerk response is to yell and be abusive. like. dads not been great either#bc hes also one to bitch and moan and yell abt shit. but like. so is mom. more than usual#and ill actually be damned if i let her treat me like that honestly ever again. like idk for once i can just#walk away from this behavior with zero consequences. i dont have to take it anymore. im not free but at least im fuckin closer than i was#guess my aunt wasnt kidding when she said her being coherent and rational last week might be the calm before the storm
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i think its very interesting that most npcs within the wiz story remember the necromancers very well.... they note a trend among death wizards that allows for prejudices to form even though many of them were going through very real and heartbreaking things (i note malistaires death of his wife and his grief specifically & the loss of morganthes brother)
BUT THE SAME IS NOT SAID OF DIVINERS... most notably the villains/antagonists in arc 3 (i think of vanitus and the storm titan specifically) are all diviners or use storm magic. there's something in there about the double standard of these schools but its so interesting to think about
#val.txt#does this make sense.#like diviners introduced in the story are power hungry in a sense#but yet there isnt anything in canon that sort of. demonizes them to the same extent that it does to necromancers#i think bc storm is such a powerful school that hasnt had many quote unquote iconic diviners that have tried to end the spiral#or at least have 'tarnished' the name of diviners#that allows for the double standard to happen in a sense#i only thought about this bc i was thinking about calamity LMFAOOO#LIKE LEGIT I THINK SHE WOULD GO THROUGH A VILLAIN ARC. IN ARC 4#she sees dasein suffering because of the everything and shes like oh... the one other person who i can consider my friend#and all these people taking them for granted... making them suffer...#and shes like ok! ok. i can fix it. ^_^ dont worry#(also tries to rewrite the spiral)#but thats another story for another day..... hohoho#that last post really got me thinking....#edit: spelled vanitus' name wrong. my BAD#close enough
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#me the past few days:#“why am I so anxious and scatter brained? why are my sh habits coming back? I'm doing fine. My pain isnt even that bad rn.”#i thought at first i was dehydrated because I've been drinking less water but i realized today#im fucking exhausted#a storm ripped the roof off the hospital where I work last week#so needless to say work's been fucking weird AND busy#I've been churning out art like never before since figuring out AMM#I'm trying to get my life together and feeling a real drive and motivation to do that#I've never been so burnt out on things that I love before#i also realized I'm still mourning my grandmother#that was still less than a month ago and fuck it I'm sad#i need to rest but just dont know how rn#maybe I'll figure out after work#i hope i do
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