#stop traumatizing our child

[queeraliensposts]

Just found out my toxic friend from elementary school grew up to be a TERF 💀

[philosophicallie]

my vitriolic hate for the parentals only grows btw. everything i overhear is in fact a big fat negative in our relationship

[moonssugar]

god we really have to unpack why the concept of “leaving childhood behind” is so prevalent and treated as something universal and even inevitable like your adult self replaces your child/teen self when you turn 18 or something. when did we start thinking of it that way? why do we think that way? as if we dont carry every person we’ve ever been around with every day for our entire lives. we cant completely separate yourself from your childhood experiences or any other part of your life nor should we be able to. thinking we can or that its a natural part of growing up is like wanting a tree to have no inner rings. its fucking bizarre and intrinsically wrong to me now as an adult and i was bombarded with this message forever, that childhood “dies” to make way for adulthood. even the concept of childhood “dying” is so weird and revolves around the idea of inflicting trauma on vulnerable people.

as great or terrible or up and down our childhoods were, they contributed to who we are and im saying this as someone in trauma therapy: most of it comes back to childhood. but that doesnt mean you can or should be expected to divorce yourself from those experiences, the good ones contributed to the person youre always becoming too! dont forget that! this doesnt mean we’re doomed to never keep growing by childhood either if we accept it as a part of ourselves, it just means every phase of our lives is continuous from the last and our adult selves are a part of that continuous growing not a replacement for everything that came before and childhood isnt inherently shameful or something to discard or something that can be killed. because like everything else, it lives inside us. so keep becoming, keep growing and be kind to the child living within

[aychiwuawua]

vent

[httpsleclerc]

the story of us

pairing/s: Max Verstappen x Sister!Reader, Eventual Charles Leclerc x Single Mom!Verstappen!Reader

eries summary: after a traumatic childhood, y/n verstappen leaves an abusive relationship with a 6 month old baby in tow, with her brother trying to discreetly matchmake her with a certain Monegasque.

warnings: DEPICTIONS OF CHILD ABUSE, BABY TRAPPING, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ANGST!!

word count: 2.4k words

a/n: praying this shit does not flop I put my heart and soul into this one - also ! This one is mostly just backstory!

the first time you ever met Charles Leclerc, you were 9 years old, sporting a poorly hidden bruise under your eye which your so called father had given you for 'talking back' after he had yelled at you for Max losing. You didn't understand that, why was it your problem if Max lost - although he didn't really lose, as such, he came second or third, but in your dad's opinion? They were the first to lose. You had wandered off from your father, claiming that you needed to get yourself a drink of water, but you knew that Max had just came second, Charles had beaten him and you could already see how mad your dad was going to be, you'd seen his grip tightening on the barrier, his face growing more and more red as Max fell further and further behind the young Monegasque. 

"And Charles Leclerc of Monaco is our winner for today, congratulations Charles!"

Your heart ached at the announcement, as now it was confirmed what awaited you when you got home. You sighed, taking the last gulp of your water as you made your way back to the small podium area, seeing who you assumed to be Charles' family cheering him on after winning - You frowned at the very thought of a loving and functional family, you knew that your mother loved you, but she didn't by any means particularly like you, it didn't seem like anyone did, since you only apparently existed as your fathers punching bag and your mom was only interested in you when it was her weekend with you and Max. Spotting your father, you weaved your way through the crowd, your heartbeat increasing as you silently stood beside him, quietly praying that if you were quiet enough, he might not sense your presence and maybe, just maybe, you wouldn't be punished for your brother coming second.

Looking down at his father from the 2nd place spot on the small podium set-up, Max frowned as he looked at Jos and then to you - He was 13, yet somehow understood that this, him coming second, would somehow be your fault, and you would be the one to take the beating from Jos. It was cruel, but it was all you and Max had known, since your mother had taken only your older sister and not you - Max had guessed you had been getting punished since Jos assumed if Max had to watch you suffer the consequences of you losing, then it would make him perform better. In some way, maybe it did - But maybe it just scared Max that one day his father would take it too far, and instead of icing bruises under your eye, he would be calling the police.

From his spot on the podium, he flinched slightly as he saw your father harshly grab your wrist, dragging you through the crowd and away to the car - Max would know to hang back for a bit, he had seen Jos hit you enough to know that it would just end in him feeling such overwhelming guilt for not winning and therefore stopping anything from happening to you.

However

Jos' beatings of you had not gone unnoticed, as the young Monegasque winner of the day had made his way to his families car, his two brothers and parents already inside, he found you, sitting on the wet grass beside your fathers car, shivering and sobbing.

"Um...are you okay?" He asked you awkwardly, unsure of how to either help or console you. When you looked up at him, he immediately recognised you - You were Max's sister, it was obvious, since you two were sometimes mistaken for twins despite having a 4 year age gap. You sniffled and nodded - Which Charles knew to be a lie, the make up which attempted to cover a barely healed bruise under your eye had worn off, and a new bruise under your other eye, along with a cut on your cheek and a busted lip proved that you had taken yet another beating from your father. He frowned, he had only heard rumours that Jos Verstappen was...unhinged - But he had never thought them to be true in this way, despite being the same age as your brother, Charles knew that you were a defenceless child, and so was Max - Yet everyone was too fearful of Jos to help either of you.

"Charles, let's go!" He stammered, looking between you and his older brother, impatient to get home and out of the wet. You hadn't said a word to him, only silently begging him to please, tell someone, about what your father was doing to you and your brother - At this point, you would take living with your mom, even if it meant your existence was ignored, anything would be better than this.

"I have to go, but I hope to see you again soon," Charles offered you a genuine smile, waving back at you as he walked to his family car, shutting the door and staring off at you as they left the track.

You sighed sadly as you dropped your head between your knees once more - You knew that this was only a part of what awaited you when you got home, but some part of you hoped that he would make you walk home, so you could take as long as you liked, and maybe by the time you got home, he would forget about the brutality he had planned out for you as soon as you walked through the doors.

Like that ever happened.

13 Years Later

You had apparently never escaped your dad.

Put better, you had never escaped men like your dad.

Thanks to the way you had been raised and how you had been treated by the man who was supposed to show you how you should expect to be treated by a man, you had ended up with a string of awful boyfriends, who in the end, received a very verbal and intensive warning from your older brother. Most of them ran away with their tails between their legs at the mention of Max's name.

But one had stuck around longer than the others, going as far to get you pregnant with your daughter, Romy. Max had been convinced you were ready to leave him until he baby trapped you, he knew that would send you running back to him, with the hopes of having the happy family you never got to have yourself. He had been fine with you the entire time you were pregnant, even managing to almost convince Max that he had changed, and that he was ready to look after you and your daughter.

Lukas was different, you told Max. You told him that Lukas looked after you and your unborn child, especially after finding out that you were carrying a baby girl. You told Max that he doted on you, talking to your bump like Romy could hear him, which he argued that she could, since she kicked at the sound of his voice.

And for a while, Max was convinced that Lukas had changed, he had changed his mind on the idea that you had been baby trapped and that maybe it had purely been an unplanned pregnancy.

How wrong he was.

After the birth of Romy, everything went back to normal - You weren't allowed to talk to your brother, you could only go out when he let you, Victoria and Max weren't allowed to come and visit their niece, you weren't allowed to have your phone. It was around 6 months after having Romy when you realised that you had to leave, you couldn't bring your baby girl up like this, and have her turn out like you? Absolutely not.

You wanted your girl to have a chance in this world, you wanted to break the cycle.

So that's what you did.

During the night, while you had Romy settled after her feed and your boyfriend was asleep, you slipped out onto the balcony, your phone in your shaking hands as you dialled Max's number, praying that he would either be awake normally or on streaming.

"Hold on guys, I don't know who is calling...me," Max's joking demeanour dropped as he saw your face flash across the screen. He hadn't heard from you since you stopped returning his calls after you had Romy six months ago. Abruptly, Max ended his stream. "Y/N?"

"Max?" He could tell that you were close to tears, if not already crying. "I'm leaving name but I'm scared to because h-he's been drinking and I don't know if he wakes up i-if he'll hurt me or Romy. I don't care what he does to me, I just don't want him to hurt her." You cried to your brother, nervously peering into your bedroom through the curtains to make sure that the two of them were still asleep - If Romy so much as stirred, then it was game over.

Max was astounded.

Of course, he was going to help you, he was your big brother, how could he not? But you calling 6 months after you last spoke to tell him you were ready to leave, he could have cried in relief.

"Okay, do what you can quietly, I'll come over and make sure that you and Romy can get away safely," Max proposed to you, he knew this was a big, monumental step for you, you needed him to be there for you, now more than ever. "We've got a spare room here, I'll ask Kelly if she by some chance has even an old cot of P's that Romy can sleep in for the night." You sniffled and nodded, even though Max couldn't see the gesture.

"Thank you Maxie, I love you," Tears sprung to your older brother's eyes, he couldn't imagine how much you had been through, the fear of your boyfriend harming your baby must have been a constant forefront on your mind, you must have been exhausted.

"I love you too, I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay."

You hung up, sighing in relief as you realised that you had taken the hardest step of your life - Yes, you were leaving your abusive boyfriend, but you were also leaving your daughter's father. Moving as quietly as you could, you buckled your sleeping baby into her car seat - Thinking if Kelly didn't have anything; which would be fine; then you could have Romy sleep in her car seat. You packed a small bag for her and yourself - If you needed anything else, you could pick it up when you needed it, as far as you were concerned right now, you and Romy just needed out of here.

the next morning when you woke up, the night before felt like a blur. You swore you were high on adrenaline, and now you were on a huge comedown. You turned on your side, reaching to hold your babies hand, smiling gently as you now realised that you wouldn't have to face seeing (Name) when you went out of this room. You sat up as Romy stirred, reaching out to lift her from the next to me bed that Kelly had put beside the bed in the spare room.

"Shshsh, it's okay, my love, mama's got you," You rocked Romy, pushing her small tuft of her hair out of her face as she fussed before latching to you.

"Mommy, I want to see auntie Y/N's baby!" You smiled, hearing Penelope being so excited to meet Romy, even though she would have to wait a while to be able to play with her. 

"I know, but you need to wait until they wake up," Kelly tried to reason with the young girl, who pouted and crossed her arms and turned to Max, as if he was going to risk going in and waking a sleeping baby.

"Maxie!" Penelope whined, pouting as Max and Kelly chuckled at her behaviour. They both looked up as the door to the spare room opened, you holding Romy at your hip. "Mommy look!" Penelope pointed at your daughter excitedly. "Can I hold her auntie Y/N?! Please, please please?!" You chuckled and smiled down at Penelope.

"Maybe not right now P, she just had a really big breakfast and I wouldn't want her to throw up all over your nice pyjamas," You reasoned with the small girl, smiling as she nodded in understanding. "I promise that you can hold her later."

"Yay!" Satisfied with your answer, Penelope ran back to her toys, occupied with whatever new toy Max or Kelly had bought for her. You smiled as you continued patting Romy's back, hearing her coo and try to wiggle towards her uncle Max.

"Aww, she wants me," Max cooed at her, taking her from your arms and holding her the way you previously did. "She's so cute, almost makes you want another, Kelly?" 

"In your dreams, Max Emillian," You laughed at the two of them, you knew that Max was a great bonus dad for Penelope, he was the opposite of Jos - Which was still a pretty low bar. "How old is she Y/N?" 

"She's almost 7 months, which is crazy for me, she was my tiny little baby and now she's starting to crawl," You told Kelly, holding your arms out to your brother as Romy started fussing in his arms, reaching out to you. "Anyway um...thank you, both, for last night. Lukas text me this morning, he doesn't want us back, left all our stuff in the lobby of the apartment which is fine cause I need to go back for my car anyway." 

"Don't be silly, I'll go get it, you don't need to go back there. And anyway, there's someone you're spending the day with to get back into socialising - He's great with kids too, so you can take Romy with you." Max told you, watching as your brows furrowed in confusion.

"What? Who is it?"

"Do you remember the whiny one from Monaco that had the inchident? Him, he got broken up with and he's been depressed so I thought you two could be friends."

[thanergetic-hyperlinks]

Tamsyn Muir's writing beyond The Locked Tomb

Y'all, turns out there's lots of imagery and themes in TLT that Muir was already playing with in her earlier fiction. A lot of it is easily available online, in which case I'll link to it. (The short stories that aren't can also be easily read if googled, to be quite honest—that's how I read The Deepwater Bride and Why the Mermaids Left Boralus). • The House That Made the Sixteen Loops of Time (2011)

5K. Short sort-of-cozy romance (?) with (you guessed it) a time travel loop. Explores a very queer potential relationship. CamPal enjoyers might find a similar sweetness.

• The Magician's Apprentice (2012, Lightspeed Magazine)

5K. This is the one that stopped me dead on my tracks. It features an older, male mentor figure called John (a “very ordinary man” with “dark eyes”) who introduces the young, female main character to magic that has a terrible cost—and to literature such as Lolita. This excellent post by @familyabolisher does an incredible job of analyzing the very deliberate intertextual links between TLT and Lolita.

• The Woman in the Hill (2015, Lightspeed Magazine, originally for Dreams From the Witch House anthology of Lovecraftian horror by women)

4K. Possibly my favorite! It's a straightforward Lovecraftian horror, centered on the image of the woman (is it human though?) trapped in an unnatural pool inside a cursed cave. Chain imagery too. It does something different from Alecto, mind, but you can see links, ways of playing with facets of a strong central image. It's fun to consider how reliable the two narrators are. Here's an analysis and afterthought from Reactor Mag.

• Chew (2013) 4K. Zombie abuse and cannibalistic revenge story ft. an uncanny woman revenant, told from the eyes of a traumatized German boy. I was strongly reminded of Harrow's conversations with the Body. Tamsyn gave an interview on the themes and her intentions. Interesting to read in light of Alecto, I think, although I don't think she's going the same route in TLT: “the idea of post-war rebuilding connecting to rebuilding the body of the zombie; a Frankenstein who once rebuilt doesn’t act as planned or desired. […] I love cannibalism […] it’s innately spiritual […] any afterlife she goes to, he’s going too.”

• Apothecia (2014, published on Tumblr and tapas.io)

Short webcomic where an alien monster tries to corrupt the ruthless human girl who holds it captive. Musings on responsibility and murder, mention of child abuse. The alien's speech patterns remind me of a Resurrection Beast. You get wonderful dialogue like “Murder is a profession. Job. Employment, you tiny leg dog. There you are, walking along. Walk walk walk. Now you are a walker. Good job. Special child. Murder is like this.” Art by Shelby Cragg.

• The Deepwater Bride (2015, Fantasy & Science Fiction Magazine)

The opening line is: “In the time of our crawling Night Lord's ascendancy, foretold by exodus of starlight into his sucking astral wounds, I turned sixteen and received Barbie's Dream Car.” Need I say more? Extremely fun. A novelette where a young queer girl from a clairvoyant family struggles with an apocalyptic event while being annoyed by another very plucky girl. Lots of descriptions with nerdy marine zoology terms. Close in tone to Gideon. In the background, someone dies EXACTLY like that one death at the end of Gideon, which makes me wonder what happened to make Tamsyn interested in this particular image. I also liked that Tamsyn is aware of Nightwish. No link, but you'll get a PDF immediately if you Google.

• Union (2015, Clarkesworld Magazine)

5.5K. Very weird, extremely Kiwi story about a town that gets sent lab-grown wives by the government, but they're not made the usual way so they're Weird and people have feelings about it. Fascinating and eerie description of non-human (in some people's eyes, sub-human) women (?) who cannot be observed to have recognizable feelings or thoughts, yet have some sort of inner life. Quite touching, very uncanny.

• Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower (2020)

Short novel (~200 pages). Very funny. I was reminded of Coronabeth because the whole plot is “princess finds herself branching out into decidedly non-princess-like activities”, but other than that—this is a fairytale for adults about people who make eachother worse. No particular links to TLT but a very fun read with some gut punches. Extremely Tamsyn through and through, what with the dubious morality and all.

• Why the Mermaids Left Boralus (2021, in Folk & Fairy Tales of Azeroth by Blizzard Entertainment)

Set in the World of Warcraft universe. Haven't read this one yet, will report back lmao. As with The Deepwater Bride, no link but I easily found a PDF of the entire compilation. It's illustrated!

• Undercover (2022, from Into Shadow, Amazon Original Collection)

Haven't read it either. Will edit once I do.

[star-sim]

plushies and pouts ☆ riki nishimura

☆ non-idol! boyfriend! riki x fem! reader ☆ summary: that one time that riki punched your plushie and you got mad at him. ☆ genre: fluff!! riki has beef with your plushies #loser ☆ warning(s)? n/a!! ☆ word count: 1.2k ☆ can't get bf! riki outta my head good lord

"Look, Babe, I'm sorry—"

The silence was piercing. You didn't even spare him a glance, only ignoring Riki as you quietly snuggled up into your pillows (and not him, who was laying mere inches away from you).

Riki wet his lips. 

"I didn't mean to," he continued, reaching for your hand. You shot him a glare and jerked your hand away before he could even touch you. 

"Don't say that to me," you snapped, your tone harsh and cold. "Say that to the person you hurt."

With that, you turned back to your phone, scrolling away and ignoring your boyfriend, you lips painted with a small pout.

Riki sighed.

Just minutes ago, the two of you were all over each other, lips connected as you hungrily kissed each other. 

Today was supposed to be one of your lazy days spent with Riki. The moment that Riki texted you that he was here, you pounced on him, crashing your lips against his almost immediately. He loved it when your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling it gently as your plush lips pressed soft kisses along his jaw.

Riki hadn't seen you in a week or two, courtesy of grueling schoolwork. 

How was he supposed to stop himself from getting too eager?

Riki eyed the Strawberry Rilakkuma (aptly named Kkumi) plush strewn across the floor, its round body faced down.

You had two policies for Riki when it came to hanging out in your room.

Policy #1: Respect all your plushies. That means to not hit them, to not call them mean names, and to treat them with kindness. 

Policy #2: If you and Riki were going to do anything on your bed, whether it be making out or cuddling, you had to turn every plushie around so that they wouldn’t have to watch. According to you, you and Riki were your plushies’ parents, so it would be traumatizing for them to watch you and him make out.

Listen, Riki usually followed your rules perfectly. He treated all of your plushies with kindness.

But with his hoodie draped over your shoulders, with the way that your perfume was filling all his senses as you pulled his hair, with the way that you were all pressed up against him giggling into his ear while pressing sticky kisses against his neck— How could you expect him to stop all of a sudden just so that he can cover your Rilakkuma plush’s eyes?

"Riki—" you had murmured against his lips, your hands sliding down to his shoulders to give them a squeeze, "Riki, wait—"

He had ignored you, only gripping your waist to pull you even closer. 

"Ri—"

Riki cut you off with his lips, relishing in the way you let out a squeak. You melted at his touch, rendered completely helpless, something that made him grin against your lips.

And just as he thought he successfully shut you up, you swiftly pulled away from him. You were breathless, your pupils blown out yet filled with desperation. 

"Kkumi's watching," you breathed, swiping your tongue over your bottom lip as if that didn't make Riki's stomach do flips. Who was Kkumi again? Oh, it was your Strawberry Rilakkuma plush.

Riki clutched your chin, leaning in to kiss you, but you pushed him away. 

"Kkumi is a plushie," Riki rasped, bringing up his large hand to cup your cheek. "He can't see a damn thing."

"Kkumi is our child," you furrowed your brows, poking him in the chest. "Imagine if you saw your parents making out."

Riki shrugged.

The next moments were a blur.

Riki reached across your lap and grabbed Kkumi the Strawberry Rilakkuma plush. With one hand, he threw the plushie into the air, and with the other, he smacked it down to the floor, sending the plushie across the room. 

A shrill scream ripped from your throat as you watched in horror, your beloved Rilakkuma plushie wallowing on the floor below you. 

"Riki, how could you?!" you immediately jumped to your feet, picking Kkumi off the floor and cradling his poor face against your chest. 

"He's a stupid plush," Riki murmured, frowning when you shot him an offended look.

You scoffed. "He's not stupid!"

"He is."

And that's how Riki found himself you-less, all cold now that you were ignoring him.

Fine, maybe he went too far throwing and punching your plushie, and maybe he shouldn't have called it stupid, but it simply wasn't fair! Your plushies got to see you everyday and sleep with you every night, and he didn't.

He glanced at Kkumi the Strawberry Rilakkuma, his eyes hardening at the darn thing. Was he seriously going to apologize to it?

Riki's eyes flickered over to you, the upset pout on your lips. Oh, how much he wanted to kiss them right now. You'd whine and push him away, but Riki knew that you'd melt. Still, he knew you were serious. You took every and all matters related to your plushies very seriously.

Riki sighed. Making sure that you were looking, he got up to his feet, stalking over to Kkumi on the floor. He grabbed the plush's face and held it by the ears, taking a good look at its fabric face.

"I'm sorry," Riki said through gritted teeth, (not-so-)sneakily peeking to see if you were watching. "I'm sorry for hitting you and calling you stupid, Kkumi."

He waited a few seconds. Surely you'd let him kiss you again after this, right?

"Kiss his forehead," you ordered, your arms crossed over your chest.

"W-What?"

"You heard me," you rolled your eyes. "You've been a bad father. That's your child there."

Riki stared at you incredulously. You only stared back with a quirked brow, almost as if you were testing him. Riki sighed once more.

The things that he did for you.

Riki brought the bear's forehead to his lips, pressing a kiss to it. Riki could hear your judgy eyes, so he took it a step further. 

Awkwardly petting the plush's head, Riki robotically, though gently, said, "I'm sorry for being a bad father. I'll do better in the future."

Riki whipped his head over to you for approval. You narrowed your eyes quizzically, before you took in a deep breath.

"Do you forgive me—"

"Fine," you muttered, opening your arms. "I forgive y— Ack!"

The moment that those words came out of your lips, Riki jumped on you, nuzzling his face into your neck.

"I missed you," he murmured against your skin. 

"It's been ten minutes," you flicked his forehead gently, though your hands took their place in his hair.

"Well, it was the worst ten minutes of my life."

You didn't say anything else, so Riki took that as a sign to snuggle up even further against you, his large body draping over you. You were so warm, and soft, and comforting, Riki couldn't imagine living another moment not close to you. He felt so calm. Maybe it wouldn't hurt if he just closed his eyes a little bit, after all, you were with him, engulfing him with your warmth.

Slowly, Riki drifted off, with nothing but the image of you in his head.

(Though, a few hours later, when the both of you woke up, you went to grab a glass of water for the both of you. Riki made sure that you were nowhere to be seen as he raised his fist towards the many plushies lining your bed, punching them square in the face. Sorry, he loved you, but his beef with your plushies would be endless.)

[fromchaostocosmos]

It is really super fucking telling that Jews and Muslims are experiencing massive amounts of hate crimes right now and it isn't Jews and Muslims committing said hate crimes.

We are not character is in a game or some sports team. We are all very real people who very much impacted by calls for our death and traumatized by happens to members of our communities even if it is in other parts of the world.

I know there many of you on this site having the time of your life being able to go mask off and revel in calling for Jews to die.

But this is not a joke, this is not fictional. This is real.

Wadea al-Fayoume, 6 year-old Palestinian-American child was murdered in Illinois by the family's landlord. (who again I need to stress was not Jewish)

This is what you are sowing and we, the Jewish and Muslim communities, will end having reap.

Enough is enough. Stop. Just stop.

Be quiet if can not focus your words on how to send help, aid, and resources for Palestinians.

[danadiadea]

but you don't understand, BoYs WiLl Be BoYs

Did the people who like to paint (non-deatheater) characters as evil villains ever go to high school? They’re average teenagers, like yes they suck absolutely, but I saw 15 year olds do worse things every day. Every single person I know who grew up as a boy has said they were terrible people at age 15. I won’t defend anything they did but like relax.

[exitpursuedbyavulcan]

What is Broken IV (Aemond Targaryen x Pregnant Wife!Reader) FINALE

The war, the "Dance of the Dragons," as they have come to call it, is over. And yet, you are not celebrating. You have just learned that your husband, Prince Aemond, spent the last months of the war with another woman in his bed. Not only that, but his mistress is pregnant. Just like you...

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader (third person, no use of Y/N), side Aemond Targaryen x Alys Rivers

Warnings: traumatic childbirth, blood, semi-suicidal thoughts, Aemond is fantasizing about murder again, all the angst

Point of View: Limited third person omniscient

Author's Note: I don't understand why, but thanks so much for all the support I've gotten from this horribly angsty fic! This is my first go at angst so I really appreciate it. I'm gonna work on two happy-ish fic chapters before I get started on When It Breaks, but it's coming...

And a huge, enourmous thanks to @ewanmitchellcrumbs and @ripdragonbeans for being my betas for this! I was so anxious about getting this absolutely right and they were so kind and encouraging. Love yall forever 💜💜💜

Taglist is done via reblogs

Series Masterlist

What is Broken

She was so light, his ābrazȳrītsos.

Even while carrying their children – their sons – Aemond swore she was lighter than when he left. He held her close to his chest, her head resting on his shoulder and her legs draped over his forearm. With every step, he could feel more of the liquid that had spilled from her womb - now mixed with small, hateful tendrils of blood -  dampening his sleeve.

Gods, how much blood had he seen in the past year? How much had he spilled himself? There had even been times when he reveled in its metallic tang. But the sight of her blood was nothing less than abhorrent.

He ran faster, until he could not make out the faces of those he passed, shouting for a Maester to be sent to their chambers immediately. One of them must be a servant. With luck, the Maester would already be there when they arrived.

She cried out as he began to ascend the stairs, wincing with each step, her weak grip on him tightening. “It hurts, Aemond.”

“I know, my love.” He slowed down, though his pounding heart urged him to do just the opposite. “I’m so sorry. The maester will be here soon, and he’ll help you feel better, hmm?”

“He has to stop it. It’s too early,” her voice cracked, and Aemond’s heart with it. “They’re not ready!”

But it couldn’t be stopped, not by man or gods. Their children would be born today. The only question was whether they would survive. If their mother would survive. Her poor body was so weak, and her heart… he had broken that, too.

If any of them died today, that blood would be on his hands, and he would gladly accept his damnation to the worst of the seven hells.

“Come now,” he chided gently as they reached the corridor to their chambers. “Our sons are dragons – they will be strong. And so will you, ābrazȳrītsos.”

“Sons?” She lifted her head, her entire body trembling with the effort it took. Her eyes – those beautiful eyes now gilded by the setting sun outside the windows – locked with his. “How… you sound so sure.”

Just one more lie. One more, and then he would never lie to her again.

Besides, this lie was small, nearly inconsequential. Many fathers insisted that their children would be sons until the child itself proved them wrong. It would be so easy for her to believe. The truth would hurt her – perhaps weaken her further. Aemond did not want her to hear Alys’ name. She should never have to even think of that witch ever again.

But he could not bring himself to do it. He could not sully the birth of his sons with yet another lie. He pushed their door open with a shoulder, never breaking her gaze. “Alys told me after you left. Before… she had a vision of us holding our sons. I’m so sorry, love.”

She slumped again, her face dropping into the curve of his neck. Once, she kissed him there, slept with her head tucked there. Now, it was simply where her head lolled. “I’m glad it’s sons. You’ll have two heirs…”

Her words were cut short by a gasp of pain, but Aemond heard it clearly. It echoed in his very bones. So if I live, you’ll have no more need of me. The gods had just crumbled the ground beneath him, his heart and soul with it. He was falling, falling, falling…

“I am glad, too.” He set her down gently in the bed, brushing away several tangles of hair stuck to her sweaty brow before arranging the pillows around her, hoping he was adequately managing to hide his devastation. For he could not bear to be without her, could not bear to love her only from a distance. He would go mad. Yet he would happily accept that horrible fate if it meant he would not lose her to the Stranger. “Mother will be, as well.”

“Mother!” She tried to rise, but he held her softly to the bed. “I can’t do this without Mother, Aemond. We must return home immediately!”

“I am afraid that is not an option, Princess.” Maester Artos stood just within the doorway, maids and Septas streaming in behind him. He was a mountain of a man, better suited to the battlefield than the birthing bed. But he was good at what he did – very good. Aemond had seen him work miracles on men who should have never survived their injuries.

The moment the women began attending to his wife, he approached the Maester, speaking quietly so as not to frighten her. “Something is wrong, Artos, she is bleeding. And she’s very weak.”

Artos hardly acknowledged him, looking only at the princess lying in the bed. “The blood is not the problem. She is distressed and too thin.” He stated, as cold and clinical as all other Maesters.

“Yes, I know that already.” Aemond took a shaky, calming breath. He did not like the way Artos observed her, as if she was a thing to be studied rather than a woman – a princess. Perhaps when it was all over, he’d kill the man for it. “I fear she is not strong enough to survive this.”

She cried out behind them. Two maids were pressing damp cloths to her forehead. Another was hastily braiding her hair back. A Septa had begun cutting away her dress, leaving her only in her chemise as two more maids removed her slippers and stockings. Two other Septas knelt by the windows, praying, while one woman who seemed to be neither maid nor Septa laid metal and wood instruments atop a tall, thin table.

It took every ounce of Aemond’s self-control not to go to her. To shove away each woman because it should be him – and him alone – to touch his wife while she was so vulnerable. He should be the one to protect her, but he couldn’t. He could only hurt her, it seemed.

“Artos!” Aemond hissed.

“Is her spirit weak as well?” There was suspicion in his dark eyes. The same he’d shown when he confirmed Alys was carrying a child. If he hadn’t been so proficient a healer, Aemond might have killed him then.

But for now, Aemond was glad Artos was alive. He swallowed, avoiding looking back at the bed as his wife continued to whimper and moan. “Yes.” The maester just hummed before approaching the bed. Aemond followed, kneeling at the bedside, the maids immediately clearing away.

“This is Maester Artos, ābrazȳrītsos.” She stared wide-eyed at the hulking mass of the man who now knelt between her legs. Aemond tugged on her hand, her gaze snapping back to him. “I know him well. He’s going to take very good care of you, I promise.”

She shuddered, her eyes closed tight as she squeezed Aemond’s hand so hard he had to bite his tongue to keep from crying out. He delighted in it. She was not as weak as he thought, thank the gods. If she needed to break every bone in his hand – in his body – to live through this, he would let her do so without complaint.

“Are you going to stay with me?” she asked, her voice already ravaged by screaming.

Aemond blinked. When they first learned they were to have a child, he swore he would. But now, it seemed impossible for her to want him there. Not after what he’d done. “Do you… want me to stay?”

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out but another moan of pain. Her eyes darted all over his face. The longer she stayed silent, the further Aemond’s stomach dropped, and his heart ached.

“I believe it wise to have the prince wait outside,” Artos said decisively.

Aemond felt her hand slide out of his, the sensation the same as if he were falling from Vhagar’s back—her answer.

He nodded, and though he knew he shouldn’t, he leaned over her and kissed her forehead, trailing a hand down her cheek. “I love you.”

As he walked to the door, he still held a little shred of hope in his heart, waiting to hear her say it back.

It never came.

The moment the door shut behind Aemond, she regretted sending him away. She wanted to call him back so she wouldn’t be alone with so many strangers. But panic began to set in as the maids pulled her gently down the bed, and her voice failed her.

“It won’t be long now, princess,” the maester said, but she found no comfort in it. She couldn’t even remember his name. Alton? Alyn? Amos? Aemond had said he trusted him, but…

But that meant he had been here when Aemond was with Alys. And that glint of pity in his eyes, not just for her conditions, but for what he knew. He knew. Seven Hells, he’d probably been the one to care for Alys and her pregnancy.

Alys. Alys, Alys, fucking Alys!

She did not know what to think of the woman who had stolen so much from her. Had she stolen it, or had Aemond given it? She could hardly make sense of what she’d learned in that dreary little room.

Alys was not the evil, scheming witch she had first imagined. But neither was she innocent in the affair, not wholly. She was not remorseful for her actions, but she apologized for hurting her. She had been kind.

Blinding pain shot through her, and she screamed. Wordless and desperate, her only outlet for release. She needed to scream, needed to roar, needed to breathe fire. Anything to distract from this. Gods, she even wished for a moment for Alys to be there, holding her hand. At least then, she could return some of that pain.

“Princess,” the maester said, though he sounded far away. Though it was more likely that her shouting was drowning him out. “Very soon, I will ask that you push. Do you know how, your highness?”

Push. That’s what the septas had instructed Helaena to do at the birth of her twins and for Maelor. She even had vague memories of the word from when she peeked through the open door to her mother’s chambers when Daeron was born. But what it meant and how to do it?

Her confusion must have been apparent, for the maester continued. His voice was frustratingly calm and steady. “It is fine if you do not, princess. You must simply follow your instincts. When you feel the urge, push the child outward with all your might.”

“I have no might.” She heard herself laughing through tears and only then realized she was crying. Someone took her hand – she didn’t know who. But the feeling of another’s skin on hers was heavenly.

“You have carried these babes for months,” the maester – Artos! that was his name – said gently, “while your husband and the realm were at war. In my estimation, you are the mightiest woman in Westeros.”

She felt nearly every muscle she had tense, turning her answering grateful smile into a grimace. The mightiest woman in Westeros would not have weathered her pregnancy as well as a paper boat in a storm. The mightiest woman in Westeros would not still love her husband after he betrayed her. The mightiest woman in Westeros would not have let her emotions weaken her or put her children’s lives in danger.

She was far from the mightiest woman in Westeros, and she could not do this. She wasn’t strong enough. She was only a weak and broken little girl.

A maid approached, a fresh cool, damp cloth in her hands. The princess had not looked at any of their faces, too absorbed in her pain and panic. But now, she caught the eyes of this girl—deep, rich brown, so similar to her own – to her mother’s.

“I want my mother,” she whispered to the maid, even knowing it was impossible. “I can’t do this without her.”

The maid gaped at her as if she could not fathom a princess ever speaking to her. She looked to her companions for guidance, but the princess only looked into the maid’s eyes and thought of her mother—the scent of the rosemary oil she used in her hair, the warmth of her embrace, and the soothing tones of her voice.

“Please, I want my mother,” she begged. A new surge of pain gripped her, radiating into her legs. They were coming faster now; she barely had time to breathe between each wave. “Please.”

“I’m so sorry, Your Highness.” The maid’s voice was high and breathy, nothing like her mother’s. “The queen is not here.”

She cried, turning away from those false eyes. She was alone – entirely and utterly alone.

“Princess, I need you to be strong now.” Artos’ sweaty brow was furrowed with half a dozen creases, his eyes wide and mouth a firm line. He looked more like a commander on a battlefield than a maester. The Grand Maester would have smiled at her, but he was not here, either. “Your labors are progressing quickly. It is nearly time to push.”

“I don’t know how,” she cried. She refused to open her eyes. If she kept them closed, she could almost imagine she was home.

Artos wrapped his hands around her ankles, pushing them upwards and further apart. “You do, princess. The Mother wove the knowledge into your body. Listen to it, and all will be well.”

“I – ”

Her next scream rattled the room, the keep, the entirety of the Riverlands.

Fire, ice, steel, and claw seemed to rake down her spine to her thighs. But Artos was right; her body reacted to the pain, her muscles moving near-unconsciously to force the babe out of her womb. She followed the instinct, pushing it harder, harder, harder.

“Very good, princess!” Was that Artos or Orwyle? She couldn’t tell anymore.

It was never-ending.

Pain, pushing, and a brief moment of reprieve.

Again.

Again.

Again.

It lasted hours, days, perhaps even years.

Was a child – a son – even worth this pain? How could she love someone who had tortured her so? Would she ever be able to look at him without remembering how she suffered?

Pain.

Pain.

PAIN.

Then –

“Stop, princess!”

She went limp, vaguely beginning to feel other sensations creep in: the coolness of the water on her forehead, the slight scratching of the sheets beneath her, and the hushed whispers of the maids and midwives.

The pain was still there, but softer. Less insistent.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice nearly unrecognizable, even to her.

Artos emerged from between her legs, relief painted over his harsh face. “Nothing is wrong, princess. It is simply time to be gentle and allow your body to do its work.” He smiled, chuckling under his breath. “I can see your babe’s white hair – quite a bit of it.”

Laughter bubbled up in her throat. Deep, joyous laughter. Another slight wave of pain passed through her, but she didn’t care at all. She was thinking about her niece and nephew, how Jaehaerys was born with nearly a full mane of silver frizz while Jaehaera had not a single hair on her head until she was over a year old. “He has hair?”

“Yes, although I do not know yet whether it is a boy, princess.”

“It is. He is.”

There was one more brief surge of pain, and then she heard her son cry.

It was torture to wait outside while his ābrazȳrītsos screamed with pain. At first, Aemond stood leaning against the wall, as Aegon did when Helaena began her labors, but his knees failed him when he heard a scream that rattled the world.

He’d been on the floor since, resisting the urge to cover his ears. But he had caused her this pain, so he must listen.

He would be in that room with her if he hadn’t been a weak, damnable fool. He would have held her hand, letting her release her pain onto him. She had only squeezed his hand once, yet he still felt the ghost of her touch on his skin. He would savor that pain for the rest of his life.

It seemed to be never-ending, the torture his son was inflicting upon her. How could he ever forgive the child for doing this to his own mother?

Then, it stopped.

Aemond leaped to his feet, panic infecting his blood like a disease. Why had she gone quiet? What was wrong? Was she dead? He couldn’t face –

A babe cried—his first cry, with his first breath.

Their son.

He tried to push the door open, but it was locked.

“Let me in!” he shouted, pounding his fist on the door. “Artos, let me in!”

There was no answer, but he could hear soft voices inside. None sounded like hers. Oh gods, had she brought their son into the world at the cost of her own life?

Aemond slammed himself against the door again and again, not caring for the damage he was doing to his own body. “Open the door now, Artos!”

He threw himself against the wood again and again. At some point, it had to yield. Either it would, or his body would.

It opened just before he launched himself at it again—not all the way, but it was open. Then, Artos stared at him through the gap with his hateful, disapproving gaze.

“Let me in,” he growled. Trying to force the door open was useless, as the maester was practically a giant and, apparently, throwing all his strength into holding it closed. “If you don’t let me see my wife, I swear I’ll – ”

“Your wife has not finished her labors yet, my prince.” Damn him, the mountainous bastard. “But I am pleased to inform you that she has borne you a son.”

Though he knew it was to be a son, the words still shot through him. A son. His son. Their son.

“Is he healthy? Is she?” There was no more fight in his voice. The warrior prince had vanished, replaced only by the husband and father. By all the gods, he was a father.

Artos nodded. “The boy is small but healthy. Your maester may have miscalculated the date of conception. He is remarkably healthy for being born so early.”

“And my wife?”

“She is tired, but well. The second babe is not quite ready to emerge, so she is resting.”

The weight of all the world was lifted from his shoulders. He felt like the little boy he had once been on Driftmark, wanting nothing more than to see his zaldrīzītsos and take comfort in her embrace. “May I see her? Please.”

“I’m afraid not, my prince.” Artos at least had the decency to sound genuinely apologetic. “She needs this rest. With the first birth, she was wonderfully strong, more than I could have ever imagined. But I fear she has depleted her strength. She fell asleep the moment it was done.”

“Is… is it bad that she fell asleep?”

Artos sighed, his eyes turning to the floor. “Ordinarily, no, but with how thin she is, how weak… it worries me.”

No. No, no, no. “Is there anything you can do? To help strengthen her?”

“I am afraid not, my prince.”

“Well, do something. Do whatever you can.”

A soft moan came from behind the door. Ābrazȳrītsos. Aemond pushed against the door, opening it as far as he could to try and catch the barest glimpse of her.

Her eyes were nearly closed, her reddened cheeks making them appear as dark as night. Her chemise was soaked through with sweat and whatever other fluids came out with their child. But no blood beyond what he already knew to be there.

“Ābrazȳrītsos! I’m here!” He shouted. It took a moment for her to look his way. He could have sworn she smiled. “I’m with you! You must be strong, my love. I know you can be. I love you! I love you so much, ñuha zaldrīzītsos!”

Artos pushed against the door, forcing Aemond back. “That is enough, my prince. Upsetting her will only drain her strength.”

Aemond knew it was true, that his presence would likely upset her rather than comfort her. So, he stopped resisting and allowed the maester to close the door. Just before it closed, he whispered one final command, “Take care of her, Artos. She is my world.”

The pain returned, worse than before. The lightning crept down her spine again, but it was now accompanied by a great force set on tearing her body apart at the seams. Pushing brought no relief, nor did it seem to move her son any closer to the world.

Artos came to her bedside, resting the back of his hand against her brow.

 “It’s worse this time,” she confided in the maester when it finally ebbed. “It’s so much worse. Why?”

He sighed and sat on the bedside, his massive hand nearly eclipsing her head as he stroked her hair. It made her feel remarkably like a kitten. “I cannot say, princess. There are many possibilities. This child could be larger, in a slightly different position, or…” He hesitated. “As I said, there are too many possibilities for me to be sure.”

His pause unsettled her, but it soon faded away when another wave went through her. “Is he nearly ready? I can’t do this much longer.” At least she knew what to do this time, so surely it would be better.

“Ah, another son, is it?” Artos stood from the bed to examine her spread legs. Several maids gently moved her to replace the sheets beneath her. “Not yet, but soon. Your motherly instincts will tell you when.”

Motherly instincts. Gods, she was a mother now. There was a child on the other side of the room that she had given birth to, that she had grown within her. A son who would depend on her for his entire life. Her, and his father.

Aemond would be a good father, she knew, even if he were decidedly lacking as a husband. But as a father, he would be attentive, kind, and loving. He would give their sons all the love he was denied by their own father.

They would not repeat the mistakes of the past. They would love their sons. They would not ignore them, speaking to them only to scold them. They would teach them the language of their ancestors themselves instead of relying on tutors. As soon as they were old enough, they would teach them how to be compassionate and fair rulers. They would not force them to marry for political advantage or the continuation of the bloodline but let them fall in love, as they had.

She could see them now. Both with white hair and unruly curls. Bright lilac eyes. The elder would take after her, but with Aemond’s determination. The younger would take after their father but with her gentle temperament.

As if the vision was summoning her second son, she felt her body constricting, muscles tightening. Without fear, she began to push.

“Princess, stop!”

Artos screamed as if someone was holding a sword to his throat, desperate and panicked. His eyes were wide and bulging as he looked from her face to where her second son should be emerging. “You mustn’t push now, princess. Not once. I…”

He stood, pulling one of the Septas aside. Others followed, and their frantic, poorly hushed whispers grew louder. She knew the sight should frighten her, but she forced herself to remain calm. Aemond said he trusted this man and had seen him work miracles. Whatever was wrong, Artos would fix it.

She was sure.

Artos burst out of the door without warning. Aemond pushed away from the wall. “Is it over?”

The maester sighed.

Shit. Seven Hells and all the Gods.

“Your wife is strong, my prince,” he began. Holy gods, he sounded as if he would cry. “Enough so that I would have little doubt that she could deliver your second child, but…”

“What’s wrong?” Aemond felt his heart race, his blood surge, his finger twitching for his sword. He was going into battle, but this was not a battle he could fight with steel or fire. This was not a battle he could fight at all. “Artos?”

“The babe is not in the right position.” He moved his hands as if it would somehow make Aemond understand what he was saying.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that the babe cannot be born, your highness.”

No. This couldn’t be happening. Not after everything she had suffered and survived.

“If she were to continue her labors, neither she nor the child would live.” Artos put a hand on his shoulder, an attempt at comfort. “I can save only one. Who survives… that is your decision, my prince.”

The gods were cruel to force this upon him – the very choice that had damned their family decades ago when Viserys chose to sacrifice his wife and queen for the chance at a son. That was where the seeds of destruction had been sown.

Aemond could not repeat the mistakes of the past. He would not be like his father. He had his son and heir. A second would be preferred, but not at the cost of his ābrazȳrītsos.

His ābrazȳrītsos, whose heart would break to lose her son. Who would never forgive him if he decided to –

He couldn’t choose. He couldn’t let her die, and he couldn’t let their son die.

He couldn't live without her, and he couldn’t take away her will to live.

He tore himself out of Artos’ grasp and stormed into the room.

Aemond threw open the door, his eyes wide and wet, and suddenly, she was not so sure that Maester Artos would fix whatever was wrong.

He ran to the bed, not sparing a glance at their new son. She burst into sobs the moment he took her in his arms. “Oh, ābrazȳrītsos,” he whispered into her hair as he kissed her temples. She entwined her fingers with his, desperately squeezing. “I’m here now. Everything is going to be fine.”

Liar. Sweet Liar. Beloved Liar.

“I want Mother. I want Helaena.” Her voice crackled with tears and exhaustion. Everything hurt. Someone – most likely her – was crying, though it sounded distant. And if Aemond was here, not waiting outside…

If Aemond was here, holding her hand and stroking her hair, it meant something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

“Mother is not here right now,” he said, squeezing her hand tighter. He wouldn’t look at her, wouldn’t meet her gaze. “And Helaena… she can’t be here. I’m so sorry.”

“She told me she would hold my hand like I did for her. She promised!”

“I know. I know, my love, but it is not possible.”

Because Helaena was dead. So were Daeron, and Jaehaerys, and Jaehaera, and Maelor, and Otto, and Ser Criston, and nearly every other person she loved. Aegon would be dead soon, too, then she would only have her mother and her husband.

Her mother, who had begged her to forgive the husband who betrayed her and broken her heart.

“I can’t do this alone, Aemond. I can’t.”

“You can, I know it. You are so strong, dearest.” Yet there was no confidence in his voice.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to tear his hair out just to make him hurt, too. “I can’t! I’ll die if you make me, Aemond, I know it. I know something is wrong. Please, tell me.”

He pursed his lips, eyes narrowed. “My love, I…” his voice faded, leaving them in total silence, save for that distant crying.

Then, he kissed her—not the soft kisses on the temple or head of the past fortnight, but the way he had kissed her when he said goodbye all those months ago. His lips slotted against hers perfectly, and she opened for him on instinct. She knew she should stop, push him away, and scold him, but she couldn’t.

Everything felt wrong—her entire body felt wrong. But this, kissing Aemond, felt right. Her desperation for comfort far overpowered her anger and resentment. Her trembling hand rested on his shoulder, her fingers bunching in his shirt. She pulled him closer, wanting more—more rightness, more connection, more feeling.

More Aemond.

But he pulled away, resting his brow against hers as she chased his lips again. He placed a hand on either side of her face, holding her still. “I’m going to fix this,” he rasped, his voice shredded by fear and desperation. “I will fix this, I swear.”

Then, he let go.

He stood from the bed and turned away from his wife.

He was leaving. He was fucking leaving her.

She screamed his name, cursed him, begged him to come back, hurled insults, and cried for him. He couldn’t do this to her, not after everything he’d already done.

This was not love. The heat that burned in her chest was not love.

It was hate.

For the first time in her life, she truly hated Aemond.

“Alys!” Aemond bellowed as he descended the stairs to the servant’s quarters, taking the steps two, three at a time. No one dared approach him. Not even Artos had tried to stop him as he ran away from his ābrazȳrītsos.

She may hate him forever for this, for leaving her when she was so weak and scared.

Fine. It would be worth it.

“ALYS!” The door snapped from its upper hinge as he tore it open. The witch was precisely where she’d been when Aemond left, her hand on her chin as she looked into the fire. What vile hell did she see in her visions now? “Alys!”

“I heard you, Aemond.” She did not look at him, only staring at the flames, those green eyes flitting around as if she were reading a book. “The entire continent heard you.” There was no humor in her voice, no hint of a smile on her face.

He swallowed, panting. He was crying – weeping like a little boy. That didn’t matter now. Very little mattered now.

Aemond fell to his knees before the witch with whom he had destroyed his life. He would do whatever she asked, destroy what little was left of his pride if necessary. “I need your help, Alys. Please.”

“She’s dying?”

“Yes. The maester said I had to… that I had to choose who to save.”

“And you can’t choose between her and the child.”

 “No, I – ” he swallowed as his voice shattered. He was going to vomit. “I can’t, Alys. I can’t. Please.”

“What is it, exactly, that you want me to do?” She was colder than the Wall, than the entirety of the lands beyond it.

“Save them, both of them.”

Alys’ eyes narrowed. Her face was painted with an expression he had never seen. He had no clue what it meant. “What would you sacrifice,” she asked flatly, “to ensure your wife and her children – your true heirs – live?”

“Anything,” Aemond croaked, “Everything.”

One corner of her sinful mouth lifted in a way that did not bring him comfort. She sighed as if taking the time to thoroughly consider his plea. The wicked bitch was gleefully stalling when the lives of his wife and child could end at any moment.

“Please, Alys,” he begged again, desperation crawling through his veins like spreading ice. “I cannot live without her, and she will never recover from her grief if she loses the babe.”

Something passed over her face, and she smiled fully. “You have always been a man of loyalty and nobility, Aemond.” Her grin sharpened as she laid one delicate hand upon her belly. “Almost always, at least.”

“Alys,” he growled in warning.

“Oh, don’t be a beast about it,” she scoffed. “I will do it – save them. If only in memory of our time together.”

Aemond sagged as relief swept through him, but it did not last long. She was still dying. The babe was still dying. Whatever Alys would do, she needed to do it now. He opened his mouth to command her to start, but she held up a hand to stop him.

“I promise it will be done.” She flung her hand to the door in dismissal. “You should be there for her. She is still so very frightened.”

He needed nothing more to run back to his wife.

She was alone. Even with Maester Artos and the dozen women hovering around her, even with her son cooing softly from the cradle by the window, she had never felt so alone.

Aemond was gone.

He’d left her. Without even a goodbye, he’d left her. He had not even stopped to meet his son.

Artos murmured something to one of the Septas, who quickly gathered the other women on the far side of the room. He approached the bed, again seating himself upon the edge, and pressed the back of his fingers to her brow briefly before petting her hair. “How are you feeling, princess?”

“Am I going to die?”

He hesitated in answering. “I cannot say for certain…”

“I know something is wrong. Please, tell me.” Her heart constricted as his fingers brushed against a spot where Aemond had kissed her. “You told him, now tell me.”

“Very well,” he sighed. His harsh face fell, and she swore she could see his eyes glistening. “The babe is breech. It should emerge head-first, but it is not. It’s… the way it is attempting to come out is nearly impossible. Should I not intervene, one or both of you will die.”

No. No, no, no, it wasn’t fair. To suffer for this long, to endure what she endured, only for her child to enter the world wrong? In a way that would kill them? She had always been good and devout. She prayed and studied holy texts, listened to her Septas and the Maesters, and avoided sin at all costs. Then why was she being punished?

Unless… the gods had not sent this to punish her.

Aemond had abandoned her and their marriage – their holy union – when he slept with Alys. It would be fitting, and very like the gods, for him to lose that which he had forsaken. She and her second son were merely instruments of punishment. But it wasn’t fair.

“There is nothing you can do?” She felt hollow as Artos continued to look at her in pity.

The warrior-maester looked as if he were about to cry, as well. “In these situations, it is usually asked of the father whom he would rather save.”

So that was why Artos left the room – to ask Aemond whether to save her or the child.

“Who did he choose?” Either answer would devastate her. He would either prove the fragility of his love for her, or he would willingly break her heart by killing their son. Whatever he chose, he would become a kinslayer thrice over.

“He… he did not, your highness.”

“What?”

“I explained the situation, and he stormed in here – to you. When he left, he said nothing. He just ran. I presumed he had…” But he hadn’t. Had not said a word about the peril she and their son were now in.

A coward. Too frightened to maintain his vows of marriage. Too weak to admit his wrongdoing. Too cowardly to even make this most crucial of decisions. The gods damn him.

If they hadn’t already.

“So… what will you do?” If she had to be the one to make the decision, so be it.

“There are three options.” None of them were very good, she knew, simply by looking at his forlorn face. She had thought him a grave man when she first saw him. Now, he looked mournful – a reluctant harbinger of death. “I can forcibly remove the child, more than likely killing it in the process. I can attempt to save it and, in so doing, certainly kill you. Or we can proceed with the birth, risking killing both of you and pray that the gods may be merciful.”

Such a choice – a decision of life and death – should be difficult. It should tear away at the soul to condemn another. It should be far beyond the limits of the heart or mind.

But it was easy.

“Save him,” she whispered. “Let me die.”

Artos frowned deeply, shook his head, and said something in return, but she did not listen – she could not and would not hear his words. She only vaguely saw him move to the end bed, ripping away the sleeve of his robes as he barked orders at the maid and midwives. Perhaps the gods were merciful to dull her senses now so she could pass peacefully.

What did it matter if she died now?

She will have fulfilled her duty and given her husband his heirs. Finding a new wife would be easy – what woman would not want to marry him? Even if news of Alys spread beyond the walls of Harrenhal, surely it was nothing in exchange for a crown. Aemond would have everything he needed to be king.

If she lived, what sort of life would it be? To raise one son while constantly mourning the other. To be the wife of a man she could no longer trust. To remain empty, a shell of her former self. She would be alive, but she would still be a ghost.

“Save him,” she said again, her voice fading.

It was easier this way. Hadn’t she already learned that it was easier not to fight? Letting Aemond take care of her was easier than fighting him. Perhaps it would be easier to let him care for the children, too. He would love them enough that they would not feel her absence.

Distantly, she felt pressure between her legs, then heard her firstborn son cry out to echo her own screams.

Her son.

Oh, he had no name.

She couldn’t leave him motherless and without a name.

Months ago, she had decided on names, but they were hard to remember now. What was it? She could grant him this one last gift. She just needed to remember…

“Daeron.”

Yes. It had been her brother’s name. Her kind, brave, daring brother. He died some months ago. There had been a battle. Why was her little brother fighting? He was too young for that.

Tendrils of pale mist crept into the edges of her vision, playfully willing her to sleep.

Once she was gone, Daeron—her Daeron—would have a little brother, too. He would need a name as well—a strong name, a courageous name. When she was dead, he would need courage.

“Aenar.”

A strong name. With courage enough to forge a new beginning.

There. Names for her sons, the little princes.

With that last parting gift, she could close her eyes at last.

Goodbye, she tried to say.

I love you, my children.

Be kind to each other.

Love each other always.

Goodbye.

The mist filled her vision, illuminated by a distant light. It was cool, like a late spring morning. She did not hurt anymore. Did not feel anything but an overwhelming sense of peace.

The distant light faded.

The mist darkened.

Through it, she swore she could see grass-green eyes and hear the faraway cry of a babe.

She was still screaming. Good.

Screaming meant she was still alive. Screaming meant Alys was fulfilling her promise. Screaming meant that Aemond was racing back to his wife – his living, breathing, beloved wife – and not her corpse.

The door was still locked when he arrived—one final obstacle between him and his family.

No, not final. Far from it. The door was the only tangible thing keeping him from his wife and children, yes, but there was far more beyond it. The pain he caused her, the hatred his ābrazȳrītsos now surely felt for him, and the third child that would soon be born still kept them as far apart as the earth and stars.

They would get past it. They had to. They were siblings, husband and wife, now destined to become King and Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. They were meant for each other. The gods or fate or whatever else had made her for him and him for her.

They were two parts of the same whole, cleaved.

“Prince Aemond.”

Cregan Stark, the man who humiliated him and his wife mere hours ago, stood behind him. Aemond snarled. “Leave. Now.”

Stark stood strong and still. “You have been my enemy. You may be still, I have not decided. I have no admiration nor respect for you, my prince. In short, I do not like you.”

“Do you want me to kill you?” Aemond asked. He did not wish to greet his sons with blood-soaked hands, but if Stark didn’t close his fucking mouth –

“To lose the woman you love so dearly in this way… it is a pain I know all too well and one I would not wish on anyone. I have instructed all my men to pray for the Princess and the child, and I will join them soon. Negotiations will be postponed indefinitely.”

“I…” Perhaps Aemond had underestimated the brute, if he was a brute at all. And though he knew the prayers were unnecessary, gratitude still dulled his rage. “Thank you, Lord Stark.”

He simply inclined his head and walked away, leaving Aemond leaning against that godsdamned door, listening to nothing but the sound of his own panting breath.

Oh gods.

He froze.

The screaming was gone.

It was silent.

Was she dead?

Had Alys betrayed him?

He would kill her. He would tear her apart with his own hands and –

A child cried.

Then…

Oh, thank each and every god a thousand times over.

For then, Aemond heard his wife laughing.

“Princess?”

She always expected that the voice of the Father would be deep and smooth, but shouldn’t it be the Mother to greet her, given how she died? And shouldn’t the gods greet her by name, not her title?

“Princess, it is time to wake up,” the voice said again. “Open your eyes for me.”

Oh, her eyes were closed. She should open them.

The Heavens were not as bright as she imagined, nor as golden. They were dark and sparsely decorated and looked very much like –

“I am not dead?”

Maester Artos looked down at her and smiled. It reminded her of the few times she had seen her father smile at her, sparking a warmth in her chest she had not felt for years. She had not known she still remembered those smiles. “I am very happy to say you are not, your highness.”

“But, my son – ”

“He lives, too.”

It couldn’t be. After all the suffering of the past year, she could not believe it could be true. Loss had become a certainty, as sure as the sun rising each morning.

A babe cried, and she turned toward the sound. A young maid was wrapping an infant boy with a shock of white curls in a cobalt blue blanket. Daeron.

A different, softer cry came from the other end of the room. There, another boy with only a smattering of silver wisps atop his head was being gently cleaned by a Septa. Aenar.

Her sons – alive and well and here.

She threw her head back against the pillows and laughed.

She laughed with joy and relief, with eight months of eager waiting and sickness. She laughed with a body nearly dead, saved only by some miracle she did not understand. And she laughed with a heart that was both shattered and overflowing.

This was the moment she had dreamed of since she learned she was pregnant, since the moment she married Aemond. She had dreamed of this all her life. It was her destiny, even if it was vastly different from how she had dreamed it. For she was not at home in the Red Keep but within the cursed stones of Harrenhal. Her mother was not by her side but miles away. The family that was supposed to crowd around her and coo over the children were nearly all dead. And her husband…

“Let me in!” he shouted through the door, the wood pounding against stone as he threw himself against it. He had been doing that before, but she did not notice until now. It was so like him, the impatience and need to act, that she laughed again. “Ābrazȳrītsos! Is that you? Tell me you are safe!”

Taking her laughter as permission, Artos opened the door. It was mere heartbeats later that Aemond was upon the bed, his eye flitting over every inch of her, his hands roaming to try and locate something wrong, to stem blood that did not flow or relieve pain that did not exist.

“I’m fine,” she said, breathless. “I did it, lēkia, and I’m fine.”

“You did it?” He looked down at her in utter disbelief and joy before his eye drifted to the Maester. Tears slipped from his eye and caught the light of the setting sun. “She did it…”

Her gaze went to the maid that held her firstborn – the girl with eyes like her mother’s. Fitting, for her to be the one to hold him. But it was her turn. “Bring Daeron to me,” she ordered,” some strength at last returning to her voice. “I want to hold him.”

Aemond stared at her. “Daeron?”

Was he angry that she named their sons without him? She couldn’t quite tell. Her mind was still fuzzy, like the mist she had seen still lay over her, casting everything in a sweet, happy light. She shrugged. “There are already too many Aegons, so…”

He laughed. She had missed that sound – she loved it so dearly. He settled into the bed next to her, their bodies fitting together perfectly, like two halves of a broken plate. So many familiar feelings – the warmth of his arm around her, the rhythm of his heart, his lips kissing her temple in the gentle way that always sent shivers down her spine. Hadn’t her spine hurt not long ago? “Daeron is perfect.”

Indeed, he was absolutely perfect. So tiny and precious as he was put in her arms, looking up at his parents with wide lilac eyes. Neither she nor Aemond said anything as they beheld him, taking in each tiny, perfect detail. The wild curls of his silver hair. Each and every eyelash framing his bright eyes. The pink of his lips. Fingers and toes so wonderfully soft and small. A toothless smile that lit the world.

“He’s going to be king someday,” she realized aloud. How could someone so tiny rule an entire kingdom? He had a lot of growing to do before the Conqueror’s Crown would fit.

“A great king, I think,” Aemond mused. He held out a finger, and Daeron instinctively wrapped his hand around it. “Wise and strong. Daring, like his namesake.”

“He must be kind, too.”

“He will be,” Aemond assured, brushing out her damp, tangled hair with his fingers. The feeling was so familiar, but each touch had her flinching slightly. “We will raise him to be kind. His brother, too.”

“Aenar.”

Aemond stiffened. Had he forgotten they had another son, or did he not like the name she gave him? He pulled his finger back from his son’s fist to touch the babe’s hair. “The Exile?”

“I just thought…” Perhaps it had been a foolish name. But it had felt right when it came to her, when she was on the brink of death. “Our family needs a new beginning.”

“Yes… I suppose it does.” He kissed her again with slightly too much pressure. “Another fine name.”

She looked at the Septa that had been cleaning him. Maester Artos stood with her now, along with several other women, crowding so much she could not see the babe. “I want to hold him, too. Bring him to me.”

None of them moved. The room fell silent.

“Allow me just a moment longer, princess,” Artos said. His voice shook, and he would not look at her or Aemond. “I am still finishing my assessment of the boy.”

He’s dead, her mind insisted. They saved your life at the cost of his. He died because of you.

“No,” she whispered. “No, no, no.”

Daeron began fussing in her arms, disturbed by how she began to tremble. She failed one son by killing him, and now she was already failing as a mother to the one who survived. Aemond tightened his arm on her shoulders, pulling her closer as his free arm gently lifted their son into his own grasp.

He hushed her, ducking his head to press his cheek to hers. “Lykirī, ābrazȳrītsos. Izūgō daor īlo bēvili gō.” Calm, little wife. Do not panic before we have reason to.

“Kostan daor,” she whimpered. If Aenar was dead…

“Is he alive?” Aemond’s hand moved to shelter Daeron’s head as if to shield him from whatever danger or heartbreak lurked. She turned to press herself into him – into the safety of his arms.

Brother. Husband. Protector.

Why did the feel and scent of him no longer make her feel safe?

“Yes, my prince,” Artos answered.

“Will he remain that way?”

“Yes…”

“You could tell me he’s green-skinned and winged for all I care.” His arm curled protectively around her, but it did not comfort her. Rather, she bristled against it, the possessiveness of it. He did not notice. “He’s alive, and that’s enough. Bring him.”

Artos hesitated but obeyed, hastily wrapping the babe in a dark blanket.

He looked whole – unbroken. Aenar’s eyes were closed as the Maester placed him in her arms, but she could feel his warmth, his little heart beating, and the faint rise and fall of his chest. He only woke when a tear fell from her cheek onto his.

Even then, he did not cry. He only looked at his mother with bright eyes – the same shade of violet as his father's and brother’s. “Ñuha trēso,” she whispered, and he smiled. My son.

“Taobosa sylvȳse,” Aemond added. “He already recognizes the language of his ancestors. He will serve his brother well. Dārys sepār Ondoso zȳhon.” Wise boy. The King and his Hand.

They had two perfect sons. So why did Artos still look like that?

The Maester’s frown deepened. “I am afraid…” he cleared his throat. “It appears that the younger prince was injured during the birth.”

She examined him again but could find nothing wrong. He was perfect. Surely, Artos was mistaken.

“May I?” His large hand hovered over the edge of the blanket.

Her instinct was to pull away, to not let this man touch her son. Yes, he had saved both their lives, but he must be wrong now. Why should she let him make a problem where there was none?

She suppressed that instinct and allowed him to uncover Aenar’s right arm. Artos’ demeanor had made it seem as though something was horribly wrong – that the arm would be missing or deformed. But it was just an arm, small and plump and pale, with a splotch of reddish-purple covering the shoulder like a pauldron.

“It… is it a birthmark?” She brushed a thumb over it, the skin smooth but slightly raised. A birthmark wasn’t an injury, nor was it exceedingly unusual. There were several families where such a mark appeared on nearly every child born.

“Explain yourself, Artos,” Aemond hissed. He looked ready to tear the man to pieces. If he did, he would likely do so without even setting Daeron down.

With a sigh, Artos ran a finger down the length of Aenar’s arm. “Note how he gives no reaction.”

“So he is calm,” Aemond spat. “I fail to see the injury.”

“Do the same to the elder.” He repeated the touch. “Gently, my prince.”

Aemond obeyed with a scowl. The moment he touched the babe, Daeron squirmed and flailed his arm.

“But he looks fine.” She looked down at her second son, her wise boy, and held out a finger, as Aemond had with Daeron. Aenar’s left arm squirmed within its wrappings, but the right was still. She touched the arm, silently pleading with the gods for it to move, for that tiny hand to reach for her.

It remained still. A desperate noise escaped her. “What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing,” Aemond and Artos said in unison. Her husband attempted to pull her into his chest, but she pushed him away. An embrace could not fix this. Nothing could. He did not pursue her again.

“It is not uncommon among children born breech.” the Maester explained. “I have seen many such injuries and many even worse.”

Artos offered no sympathy or apologies, and she was thankful for it. There was nothing he could say to ease the pain of knowing that her son would never be whole, just like his father. But unlike Aemond, he was never even given the chance, wounded from his first breath. What would the people call him? ‘Prince Aenar One-Arm, son of King Aemond One-Eye?’

“What do we do?” She asked her husband, the Maester, the gods. Anyone who may have an answer.

Aemond’s face was drawn with grief – for his son and for himself. “He will adapt, as I did. I will ensure it. He will be stronger for this. I promise.”

I cannot trust your promises.

The thought was a sudden gale of icy wind scattering the lovely mist coating her mind into oblivion, leaving her with only stark, wicked reality and the faint memory of green eyes.

“How did I survive?”

Too quickly, Aemond turned to her, taking hold of her chin and pulling her close to him. “It does not matter, ābrazȳrītsos. All that does is that you are still with me. You and Aenar.”

If he wasn’t holding her firstborn, she would have shoved him from the bed.Liar. Liar. Liar.

I will fix this. he’d said before he left her. The pure, unrelenting anger she felt as she watched him leave had prevented her from considering what those words meant. Now, she could think of nothing else. What could he do? He was no midwife nor Maester. He had no knowledge of childbirth, beyond the few questions he’d asked of Orwyle months ago. What could he have done for her and Aenar except beg the help of another?

Of Alys.

Alys, who had eyes the color of fresh grass and possessed a dark magic that allowed her visions of the future. Was she also able to influence that future?

How?

At what cost?

What had Aemond promised her in exchange for their lives?

“No Maester wants to admit to ignorance,” Artos smiled sadly as Aenar continued to try to wriggle his left arm free of his blanket, “but I cannot explain it. All I can think is that the gods are kind to you, princess, and for that, I am glad.”

She could not look at him or any of the others in the room who watched her as if they could see the Mother’s hand upon her shoulder.

The gods weren’t kind. They were cruel to allow her to now owe her very life, and that of her son’s, to the two people who had destroyed her. Would she ever be able to look upon Aenar and not remember? To not feel her soul torn between unyielding hatred and infinite gratitude?

Yet, she had her life – and her sons. Surely anything was worth that.

Wasn’t it?

“I’m tired,” she said. The day had seemed to last a year, and the sun had not even set. “I want to rest now.”

After what she endured, no one argued.

His ābrazȳrītsos fell asleep mere moments after Daeron and Aenar were settled into their cradles. She did not even wake when Aemond lifted her so the servants could replace the soiled bedding. Just as she had so many times before, she tucked her face into his neck as they sat in the window, sighing contentedly. Now, he lay beside her in the bed, trying to memorize how it felt to have her in his arms.

When she woke, he knew she would never allow him to hold her like this again.

She knew. Somehow, his wife knew what he had done to ensure she and Aenar survived, and she would never forgive him for it for as long as she lived.

But she would live.

Aenar would live. Though he would bear the wounds of his father’s sins forever.

After his wife had fallen asleep, Maester Artos had told him that it would likely be necessary to amputate Aenar’s arm. The purple mark on his shoulder had grown, apparently indicating further bleeding within the limb. If it grew much more before morning, the arm would be removed before midday.

It was his fault, Aemond knew.

Alys had told him that in her visions, both boys had been healthy. But that was before his ābrazȳrītsos knew that he betrayed her. Before he brought her to this cursed place. Before he failed to stop her from meeting Alys and learning the full extent of his sins.

He only hoped Aenar would not grow to hate him for it.

For now, the boy slept in his crib, limp arm hidden beneath the dark blanket he was swaddled in. Aemond rose from the bed, moving closer to his son.

How peaceful he looked now, with the redness of his skin finally faded. He did not have as much hair as his older brother, but his was wilder - more reminiscent of his mother’s curls than his father’s straight locks. At least he had that part of her, if not the warm brown eyes Aemond had hoped for.

In the other cradle, Daeron fussed slightly, though he did not wake. It seemed he resented being confined within the tight swaddle of his blanket. The thought made Aemond smile, remembering how his younger brother once did the same. It faded quickly.

He had to go to Alys. To thank her for giving him his family - a kindness he did not deserve. To say goodbye to the child he would never meet. Another cost he would force himself to pay.

He had to go now, while his ābrazȳrītsos slept.

“Before our wedding,” he whispered, careful not to wake her as he approached, “I promised to hold you every night I could, that I would do anything to return to you when I was away. I have failed to uphold that promise, and for that, I am so sorry.”

When he stroked her cheek, she turned into his touch, a small smile upon her lips. Seeing that some unconscious part of her still reacted to him with love warmed his heart, even as the knowledge that her conscious mind would never allow her to do so felt like a dagger buried in his gut.

Aemond knelt at her side, basking in her beauty, memorizing her peaceful face. “Now, I swear my devotion again. I know you no longer wish for me to hold you, and I promise I will not try to persuade you otherwise. But I swear I will always be with you, to love and protect you, even if I must do it from a distance. I will never fail you again.”

It did not matter that she could not hear his vow. Even if she did, she would not believe him. But he made it anyway, for his own sake, and so the gods, wherever they may be, would hear him. It was to them he spoke next.

“Should I ever harm you again, I pray that the gods will strike me down where I stand. And if they do not, I shall do so myself.” He kissed her brow - the sealing of a promise and a farewell - and left.

A maid shrunk away as she passed Aemond in a corridor deep beneath Harrenhal, cradling the bundle of cloth she carried closer to her chest. It was one of the same maids who had tended to his wife—the young girl with deep brown eyes. She did not wear the clothing of a midwife, but the colors of her linen dress were similar. Perhaps a midwife in training.

Strange, then, for her to be here. Stranger still for her to be seemingly performing the duties of a laundress.

He glanced down at the bundle of cloth she carried and froze.

There was blood. Too much blood.

A young midwife, carrying bedlinens soaked with blood.

What would you sacrifice? Alys had asked.

Aemond ran.

He knew what he would find. There was no other explanation. Yet he still hoped and prayed he was wrong. Loss had followed him like a loyal dog for so long, but today it was banished. It must be.

Alys stood in front of her fire. One hand rested on a stomach that was not as distended as it had been only hours ago.

His wife’s stomach now looked very much the same.

“What did you do?” His voice shook with fear and guilt and shame. Gods, he felt so weak.

Her eyes, cold and distant, slid to his. “What you asked.”

“I didn’t ask you to…” This blood was on his hands - the blood of his child.

The word that had haunted him for more than a year - the word that had nearly led to the death of every person he ever loved - echoed in his mind.

Kinslayer.

Killer of his nephew. His uncle. His child.

Aemond looked back into the corridor, hoping to see the young midwife again. Had he not looked closely enough? Had she been carrying the body of his child within those bloody linens?

“I only wanted you to save my wife and son.” His words were a justification, a plea. It fell on the deaf ears of the gods and the dead child’s mother.

“And you thought there would be no cost?” Alys laughed, cruel and cackling. “No god in the world is so generous as to save a life and ask for nothing in exchange, boy.”

“I didn’t think – ”

“You never do.”

Grief morphed into anger. Reckless, aimless, dangerous rage. “You should have told me!”

“What would you have done?” She faced him fully now, her hand falling to her side. There was no trace of the woman who had once comforted and reassured him - who had kept him sane amidst the insanity of war. There was only annoyance and derision. It reminded Aemond of his dead half-sister and her bastard sons. “If I had told you?”

“I –”

“Would you have left your wife to die? Let her son die?” Alys’ lip curled in a hateful sneer. “You could not choose between wife and son, yet you believe you could have chosen between two sons?”

The world stopped. Only Alys’ flickering fire and burning eyes remained.

“I… it was a boy?” Aemond leaned against the wall, sliding down to his knees, savoring the scrape of the rough stone against his back. He deserved every bit of pain. More.

Alys let a single hint of sorrow slip through her cold façade. “It was. Three sons within a year. What your father would have given to have had the same.”

The last thing Aemond wanted to do was to think about his father. The king who had nearly destroyed his throne by choosing one child over another.

Gods, was he any better?

Did his ignorance of his son’s sacrifice absolve him of blame? The guilt?

It certainly didn’t feel like it.

Alys sighed. “Better for his death to mean something than for his life to be spent destitute and fatherless.”

“I would not have allowed that to happen,” Aemond said. It was a reflex, a reassurance he’d grown used to giving since he learned he seeded a bastard.

“Wouldn’t you? Perhaps if my visions had not changed. But now…” She shook her head, more exasperated than sorrowful. Did she mourn the child at all? “No. You’d have wanted us as far away as possible and done anything you could to not think of us.”

“I would have ensured your comfort.” The words felt as hollow as his chest.

“Your wife would, yes.” Alys smiled fondly, just as she had when his ābrazȳrītsos sat across from her earlier that very day. She had never smiled that way for Aemond. Never truly cared for him. He should have known. “She is kind-hearted. But not you. Your resentment of me, of us, would have festered until you found some way to be rid of us.”

He wanted to deny it. To say that there was nothing that could drive him to do what she insinuated. Once, it would have been true. But now, with the man he’d become in the war and how close he’d come to losing his heart itself, it would be a lie.

If he had killed Alys along with the rest of her cursed family, would he have become this man? Would he have learned to cherish the metallic tang of blood and its warmth as it coated his hands? Would he have become so proficient a liar that false words rolled off his tongue like a Valyrian lullaby? Would he have grown so accustomed to violence that it now came as naturally to him as loving his wife?

Would he have broken his ābrazȳrītsos’s heart?

He’d trusted her visions. It had been a mistake.

One mistake that led to thousands more, and it was all her fault.

Alys was the one who lied, who deceived him. Who had pulled his strings as if he were no more than a puppet, knowing that he was married and his wife was lonely and infirm.

His failure as a husband. His wife’s pain. The death of his third son.

Her fault. Her fault. Her fault.

Aemond’s heart slowed, his breathing becoming deep and steady. No longer the heart of a broken boy or a desperate husband. Now, it was the blackened heart that had carried him through countless battles and raging rivers of blood.

“I will be rid of you now,” he hissed as he stood. “And I will be rid of you forever.”

The bitch had enough sense to look scared.

“In memory of the son you killed, I will allow you to live. But no more than that.” She didn’t even deserve that, this woman who did not mourn her own child. Perhaps it was good that the babe was gone, for surely he would have suffered with a witch as his mother.

He approached Alys, sneering down at her and the false bravery on her wicked face. “As Prince Regent of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm, I banish you from these lands forever. You have ten days to leave Westeros. After that, if you are ever seen here again…” He reached out and grabbed her by the throat, holding just tight enough to steal a bit of her breath - just enough to make her fight for it.

“I will kill you myself,” he promised. “Without hesitation or remorse, I will kill you. Slowly. And I will savor every moment, for it will bring me far greater pleasure than that withered cunt of yours ever did.”

She fell to her knees when he released her, clutching at her throat as she coughed and gulped for air. He didn’t care. He only turned on his heel and left, not sparing a single glance at the woman who had only hours ago been carrying his bastard child.

Only one woman mattered now, had ever truly mattered to him.

His ābrazȳrītsos was still asleep when he returned to their chamber, as were their sons. They had no idea where he had gone - that he had even left at all. No inkling of the fact that a moment ago, he had again become the man who wiped an entire bloodline from the earth, slaughtered tens of thousands, and delighted in the suffering he had wrought.

Now, as he leaned down to gently kiss his sons’ brows and muss their soft hair, he was a mere man of twenty, his heart bursting with love and affection for his family. How could a heart overflow with such love at the same moment it was fracturing with grief and regret?

It was a question far beyond him at that moment. Perhaps forever beyond his reach.

He was so tired. Too tired to consider the heartbreak that would come when he woke in the morning and his wife pulled out of his grasp. He could face that pain when it came. But now, he needed to feel whole, if only for a few hours.

So, Aemond climbed into bed with his wife, wrapping his arms around her and tugging her into his chest. He remained awake only long enough to kiss the top of her head and whisper, “Jāla tetan, ābrazȳrītsos. Īlon lentot selagon kosti.” It is over, ābrazȳrītsos. We can go home.

She woke to the sound of Daeron fussing. Strange how quickly she was able to tell them apart, even just by their little noises of discontentment. Although, considering she had been with them every moment of the last seven - near eight - months, it may not be strange at all. Perhaps that was why she felt so sure that it had been Daeron who occupied the top of her belly, constantly pestering her with his tiny fists pounding against her at the most inopportune times.

“Hush, little prince,” a soft voice said. “You’ll wake up your mother, and after what you and your brother put her through, I dare say she needs her rest.” A maid was speaking to him, a slight, old woman leaning over his crib. She had not seen the maid before, and somehow, it comforted her.

Daeron continued to grumble. She moved to stand but found Aemond’s arms wrapped around her waist. Thankfully, he was still asleep. Quite deeply asleep, apparently, for when she untangled herself from him, he did not wake.

The maid curtsied when she saw the princess approaching and stepped away from Daeron’s cradle. His fussing had now roused Aenar, but the younger prince made no sound, only glaring at his brother in what seemed to be intense displeasure at his sleep being interrupted.

“Is something wrong with him?” she asked the old maid. Daeron quieted slightly upon seeing his mother but still fussed.

“Nothing to concern yourself with, princess.” The old maid had a kind, soothing voice - that of a wise grandmother. She looked at the babes with fondness and a hint of apology. “They are simply hungry.”

“Where is the wetnurse?” She immediately regretted asking. In her sleepy haze, she had forgotten that Alys was the wetnurse at Harrenhal. Why wasn’t she here? Did she even want Alys here? No, of course she didn’t. Had Aemond requested another be found so she would not have to see Alys again?

The old maid looked away, sighing. “I’m afraid she’s left us. No wonder why, poor thing lost her babe again. Such a shame. We all thought she’d had a miracle with this one. But not to worry, Maester Artos sent some men to find another girl from the closest village.” She shook her head and again leaned over Daeron’s crib. “You’ll be fed soon, darling prince, don’t you worry.”

Alys’ child - Aemond’s child - was dead?

It was a good thing, wasn’t it? There would be no bastard son of the new king, no living reminder of what he’d done. This was good news. She should be happy, shouldn’t she?

But she wanted to cry.

“Mother, forgive me,” the old maid looked horrified as she clutched her pendant of the Seven-Pointed Star. “I should not have said that, princess. Not when you’ve only just finished your own labors. Please, forgive me.”

She glanced at Aenar, now peacefully asleep once more. How close she had come to losing him. It had devastated her. Made her willing to forfeit her own life if only he could live. If she had lost him and had to live with that loss… it would have driven her mad.

“How…” she licked her lips. “How many children has she lost?”

The old maid dropped her pendant. “I do not know, exactly. Enough that we all stopped counting.”

Oh gods. She blinked to clear her eyes, wiping away an errant tear with her thumb. “You said she’s gone?”

“Yes, princess. She left in the night. Didn’t say where she was going, to my knowledge.”

It made no sense. If Aemond had struck a bargain with Alys to save her and Aenar’s lives, why would she leave? Had whatever he offered her not been enough to keep her in the place where she’d lost so many children?

Daeron cried again, his face reddened and wrinkled. He was so hungry, she could nearly feel it herself. She… she could feel it. When she looked down at herself, she saw two dark stains on her chemise right above her breasts. Her milk had finally come in, which meant -

“I can feed them.”

The old maid looked aghast. “Princess, there is no need - ”

“I want to do it.” She was their mother, why shouldn’t she be the one to feed them? It was her body that made them, that brought them into the world. It made sense that it would continue to care for them even now. “Can you show me how?”

It took a moment for the maid to close her mouth before she smiled gently. “I’ve raised nine children myself, princess. I think I know a few tricks.”

The maid had gone by the time Aemond woke.

Daeron was still suckling at her left breast while Aenar had fallen asleep using the right as his pillow. She had not realized how heavy and uncomfortable they had felt until the boys had drunk from her, easing the pressure that she’d become accustomed to.

“You should not be doing that yourself,” Aemond muttered as he raised himself on an elbow. His eye darted from son to son, only ever glancing over her exposed breasts. Once, he loved to worship them, quite similarly to how his sons fed from her now. “Where is the wetnurse?”

Did he not know that Alys had left? Had no one told him of the death of his child?

No. Those were the faint remnants of tear tracks lining his cheeks, and there was a deep sadness in his eye that was not there when he held his sons for the first time. He knew. He knew, and he was grieving, though he was fighting to hide it. She still saw it.

Perhaps that was the real reason he never returned to King’s Landing during the war - he knew she would be able to see the guilt on his face.

“There is no other wetnurse,” she explained gently. “Alys left. They’re looking for another woman now.”

Aemond froze, his gaze growing distant. She could not decipher his expression. Rage? Guilt? Sorrow? Grief?

“I’m sorry, Aemond.” He frowned and shook his head, but she continued. “Truly, I am.”

“It’s better this way,” he whispered. He didn’t believe it. Neither did she.

He reached out to her. No, not to her, but to Aenar, gently stroking his hair. She allowed him to take the babe and hold him against his own chest.

Aenar opened his eyes and looked up at his father. Then, he smiled.

Aemond took in a deep breath. “That boy should never have existed,” he said, letting Aenar take hold of his thumb and mouth at it. “I already had what I needed. And wanted.”

So it was a boy. Another son. A brother for her own. Would he have had his father’s nose, as Daeron did? Or his stern brow, like Aenar? Gods, why did she care?

“You are allowed to mourn him. He was innocent. I bear him no ill will.” Bastard or no, a babe was a babe, blameless of his parents’ sins. Deep in her heart, she mourned him, as well.

Again, Aemond shook his head. “I cannot mourn what never should have been.” He turned his head to face her, face open and pleading. “And I am mourning too much already.”

“I am alive. Aenar is alive. There is nothing to mourn.”

“You know that is not what I mean, ābrazȳrītsos.”

She did. He mourned not for the loss of a life, but for the loss of their life. The life they should have shared, and would have, had Aemond not strayed. In truth, she mourned for it, too.

“I know.”

They sat in silence for a moment as Daeron finally finished feeding, stretching his little arms to push her breast away. She pulled her robe closed again to combat the chill.

Aemond raised a hand to help her. She flinched away. He winced in response.

“Ābrazȳrītsos, please.” His voice was already breaking, his eye watering. The sight should have tugged at her heart. His begging should have fanned the flames of her anger. But looking at him, she felt very little of anything, save a small seed of pity. “Alys is gone. My… the bastard is gone. Can we not return to the way we were? Pretend none of this ever happened? Can’t you forgive me at last?”

The answer came without hesitation.

“No, Aemond.”

Within her, there was no longer a grassland, barren with loneliness and despair. The never-ending field of raging fire had also vanished. In its place was a small, lush garden, safely contained within tall stone walls draped with flowers and a polished iron gate – locked firmly, but perhaps not sealed forever.

“I shall always be your sister, your blood, and the mother of your children.” Daeron cooed, as if he knew she was talking about him, and she could not help but smile down at him. “I will remain your wife in the eyes of gods and men. And when Aegon dies, I will be your faithful queen.”

Aemond shook as his breath quickened, failing to keep the heartbreak. “You will be a wonderful queen, ābrazȳrītsos. I know it.”

She pulled away, taking Aenar from him and into her empty arm. “But I will never again be your ābrazȳrītsos.” She forced herself to ignore the whimpering, broken cry that escaped him, the breath that carried it echoing like a death rattle. “I will not share your bed. And I will no longer allow you to hold my heart.”

Between desperate sobs, Aemond raised his head to face her. Utter devastation lay in his eye, but so too did acceptance. Anguished surrender. “My heart is and always shall be yours.”

I don’t want it, her mind told her, even as her heart cried, I will cherish it forever.

But her decision was made. In all but name, their marriage – their once legendary romance – was finished. A few fragments of love remained but would never be repaired. Could never be.

Slowly, she rose from the bed, her sons still in her arms. Aemond began to reach for her, but when she did not even acknowledge him, he covered his face with his hands and wept. Though it tugged at her heart, it was the same she would feel for any man weeping so, no longer the instinctive pull of a wife. She did not comfort him.

The soft, pitiful sounds of Aemond’s grief faded as she walked toward the eastern window, settling herself in the cushioned seat just beneath it.

Daeron smiled, watching the trembling branches of an oak tree dotted with the first tight green buds of the season. Aenar angled his head just so, until the sun warmed every bit of his fat, pink face, then promptly fell asleep. She sighed, taking in the sweet scent of spring on the wind, and realized she had not breathed so easily in months.

It was a lovely morning in Harrenhal.

[theocddiaries]

Bruce: Did you find anything yet? Clark [On the computer. With a baby Conner on his lap]. Yes. There's a whole section on biting on this mommy forum. Bruce: Oh, good. What does it say? Clark [Reads]: "My son was biting, so I got a stranger to yell at him. Being disciplined by someone else outside the family scared him into stopping." Bruce: Idiots… Clark: B… Bruce: I am not hiring some hobo to come over here and traumatize our child. What else does it say? Clark: Okay, well, this one says, "When my daughter bit her brother I put a pinch of pepper in her mouth. She cried and cried, but she never bit again." Smiley face. Bruce [Sarcastic]: Oh, well, the smiley face makes it okay. "I waterboarded our toddler. LOL."

[brucewaynehater101]

I just want good angst about Bruce desperately trying to parent Tim but realizing he fucked it up

or Bruce realizing he kinda sees tim as a father figure in a weird way

or the bats all realizing how Tim’s been forced to mature quickly so he can take care of them, and he won’t stop trying to be the adult in situations even after the bats try to make it so he doesn’t have to

There are a few fics out there that center around Tim and Bruce's relationship after Bruce realizes how bad he treated Tim. "Grudge (I hold none)" by reinersbigtits. "Just How Much I Love You" by sElkieNight60. Honestly, a bunch of sElkieNight60 fics have Bruce trying to be a better parent. Their fic "Redraw Our Expectations" showcases Bruce trying to parent Tim and the teen finds that strange, weird, and restrictive. They chat about it.

I sadly haven't seen any fics where Bruce considers Tim to be his father. I have seen a few that describe Tim as his closest confidant or mental support, but none about the father hc/au :(

If you want some quick angst about Bruce seeing Tim as a father figure, here's an idea:

Bruce is ruminating on his kids. As he's going through his mental list of the kids (perhaps trying to remember where they all are), he realizes that it's an effort to add Tim to that list. At first, Bruce clocks it as the older man being a horrible parent to Tim or needing more time with his son. Bruce wants to fix this and sets out to do so. He tracks down Tim to spend some time with him.

Halfway through the hangout, Bruce starts to relax. They are both having a good time, chatting and laughing. It only changes when he notices Tim's subtle nods, his slight mannerisms that encourage Bruce to keep talking, and the scrunch at the corner of Tim's eyes that indicate he's proud. It's an errant thought of the older man, but one that rapidly changes his worldview.

Tim acts like Alfred.

Tim acts like a father to Bruce.

Tim has always acted like a father to Bruce.

What has Bruce done?

The comment about Tim continuing to be the "adult" or "mature one" in the situation because that's all he's known hurts. If you add that hc to the one where Tim is constantly told to "be the bigger person" when it comes to being insulted by his traumatized family members, that's painful.

Alright, let's build on this hc/au. I'm going to use subtle canon background clues to create a probable psychological assessment on Tim's behaviors. The reasonings are all hc.

Tim was emotionally neglected and abused by his parents (not nearly to the extent of fanon and his parents did love him, but that doesn't change their emotional distance or the harm Jack did after his coma). One could hc that, due to the limited time he spent with them before they left again, Tim tried to keep the peace when they were there. He wanted to spend the time with his parents not fighting, even if that meant choking down his own emotions/needs, placating his parents, and overall keeping a pleasant demeanor around them regardless of passive aggressive insults (looking at Jack here).

If his parents had marital issues, like fighting and insulting each other in front of Tim, the child might have tried to mend their fights and solve their issues in order to spend more time with happy parents. It's a helpful behavior that could've been praised by Jack and Janet, leading to Tim continuously uptaking a mediator role.

This would morph into a people pleasing attitude that heavily clashed with Tim's independence and lack of authority in his life. This is what enables him to be suited for kicking a depressed, angry Bruce into his healing arc (enables, but doesn't excuse Bruce's reliance on a child nor condone it). Tim would probably insert himself into Dick and Bruce's relationship.

Unlike his parents, Dick and Bruce probably weren't happy an unrelated kid was mediating their relationship or getting in the middle of their arguments. Because of their contant rejection to Tim's efforts, the kid's behavior could morph into a more subtle and subterfuge manner. This comes in handy when Jason and Damian come around (because they for sure would not listen to Tim's advice).

Tim, because he's spent his entire life managing other people's emotions for them, would understand where Damian and Jason are coming from as they hurt him. It is painful, and he may hold some resentment towards them (and a frozen anger), but he's used to yanking back his emotions and shoving them into an overfilled box. That's the easy part.

What's burdensome for him is the family. After realizing the lengths Tim goes to in order to ensure their bonds stay strong, they keep pressuring Tim to release some of his responsibilities. They want the relationships to be more equal.

Tim can't, though. If he lets go of his tight grip on holding the family together, he'll have to face that box of emotions he shoved down. He'll have to work through all the pain, anger, betrayal, grief, and desolation all of his family members gave him. If he accepts that he shouldn't be taking on so much emotional labor, he would have to face that he shouldn't have been subjected to so much abuse (from the Drakes or the Waynes).

Tim can't do that without falling apart.

He can't keep his hold on the family's support beams either.

It's not healthy nor productive for Tim to keep his position. Without releasing the pressure from his back, Tim will collapse and take the Waynes with him. He's too scared to let go, though. Will he survive the break? Will he have a place with the Waynes if he's not holding them up?

[soleilapproves]

You wanna do Boxer!sukuna x reader reacting to Jake Paul vs Mike Tyson 👀

I’m crying cause all the memes about it were so funny 😭

Notes: Yuuji is Sukuna’s nephew here, he is horrible with kids.

To say that Yuuji looked up to Sukuna was an understatement. No one knew why the kid liked him so much. And before you say it was because he was a boxer then you’re wrong.

He simply liked Sukuna because he could watch anything while being babysat. Sukuna had no idea what ten year old boys enjoyed so he just gave Yuuji unrestricted access to his stuff at home. He was sure the kid would find something to entertain himself.

Jin had strict rules about letting Yuuji watch things with violence but Sukuna could not care less. The boy was growing older by the day so it wouldn’t matter if he discovered stuff like that now or later.

The afternoon was uneventful. Sukuna was laying on the couch, gardening magazine in hand to assess lawn mower prices, you were doing chores around the house, and Yuuji was watching a boxing match on TV.

Sukuna didn’t care to give his two cents on it because he really needed that fifty percent off deal for one of his favorite mowers.

The announcer on the TV began to talk about Mike Tyson fighting and that had caught Sukuna’s attention. “That guy’s fighting again? I thought he was too old,” the boxer said.

“Yeah, he’s fighting against Jake Paul!” Yuuji exclaimed with a toothy grin (well, not so toothy. He was missing one of his canines after being hit by a soccer ball earlier that week).

“Who?”

“Jake Paul, only the greatest boxer ever.” Sukuna had to double take at his nephews words. He had never felt jealous of other fighters but come on, this Jake Paul guy didn’t even seem all that. He wasn’t even a household name. How could his nephew compare him to Sukuna, multi championship winner?

The man’s eye twitched- he was itching to smack the back of his nephew’s head but controlled himself.

“You know, heh, I’m a boxer too.”

“Yeah, but you’re not a real boxer. You don’t scream in the matches and don’t pose at the end.”

Sukuna had been questioned over his skill, almost beaten to temporary immobility, and even mentally scarred from the sport. But he had never ever been invalidated in his entire career. Not until his nephew expressed his opinion. Sukuna raised his heavy arm and left a light but firm smack on his nephew’s head.

“Ow!” Yuuji didn’t even bother asking why he did that because the boy knew he had ticked his uncle off.

So much for not smacking the kid.

Sukuna only got angrier when he saw Yuuji celebrate Mike Tyson’s loss. The boy had no idea who the real legend was.

“Kid, that man is old! He obviously wouldn’t be able to fight.”

“Who cares? He lost! I wanna be a boxer like Jake Paul when I grow up,” said Yuuji while flexing his scrawny freckled arms.

If Sukuna were to be a cartoon character then steam would be escaping from his ears. “That’s it!” He lifted the kid with one hand to drag him out in the yard. “We’re gonna have a match of our own. You said I wasn’t a real boxer, huh?”

Luckily, you had heard Yuuji’s screams for mercy and you ran into the living room to stop your husband from traumatizing the child.

—

You cannot tell me that Yuuji wouldn’t beg his parents for a damn Lunchly 💀

[luckymousey]

Defending Trey Clover, an essay

I just fucking saw a post shit-talking about Trey and I'm so fucking angry that instead of shit-talking them back in my mind I'm going to write an essay about how I see Trey and why he's not a bad character.

I haven’t seen his dream, so there might be some mistakes here, and yes, there might be some slight spoilers for those who haven't seen his dream like me

⚠️English is not my first language⚠️

Trey Clover

We all know who he’s.

He’s like the older brother/mother of Heartslabyul.

The one who takes care of the young ones.

The one who tries to blend in with the crowd.

And also one of the most misunderstood and hated characters in all the fandom.

Like, all the hate directed to him is just because of the fact that he didn’t do anything to help Riddle when his mom caught them eating tarts.

All the haters don’t understand one single thing.

Trey was a kid.

He was just a kid, he didn’t know the real consequences of Riddle sneaking out, he just wanted to have some fun, like any child wants to, he had no real power against Mrs. Rosehearts, even if he shouted, even if he fought for Riddle, it would’ve been of no use, even more, I’m sure Riddle would have been punished in a worse way if Trey stood up for him, AND, his family and him had to endure a five hours yelling of Mrs. Rosehearts; Trey was behind his parents, looking how the tears flooded down his friend’s cheek, how Riddle’s mother was shouting and how his parents were being yelled at by something that wasn’t even bad, god damnit, he was severely affected by everything that happened that day.

They even mention in his dream (I read this as a spoiler, I’m not sure) that his family laugh at what happened that day, but I don't think it's a: “it wasn’t bad at all, just a slight, small scare” laughing, but a “I can’t cry about it, so I can only laugh” laughing (like, everytime the teacher hands out our exams, a lot of my classmates say this)

And Riddle’s mom is someone pretty famous.

Trey once said that they were curious about the kid who lived in the biggest house in the neighborhood, so that means she’s also pretty rich.

In other words, she is powerful.

(Power means the money and fame, but it has another meaning, which I’ll be talking about later)

There was nothing a family of bakers could do at that moment, even if they were kind of famous, much less a 10 year old kid.

And think about how he felt when he realized Riddle wouldn’t be leaving his house for a long time.

Think about how he felt when he received his NRC admission letter (or whatever the crow sends them), thinking about how he probably won’t be seeing Riddle, no matter how much he hoped for it, now that he was going to study somewhere else.

Think about how excited he was about Riddle’s admission in his same school only to be greeted by the reflection of the woman who shouted for 5 hours straight, in his parents’ bakery, some years ago.

Trey wasn’t and isn’t a bad friend, he was a ten year old child and in the Heartslabyul Arc he was an eighteen year old who was still traumatized, no matter how he tried to hide it, he’s not fine, he’s not ok, he’s not alright. He’s not as extremely traumatized as Riddle, who suffered years of abuse from his mom first hand, but he’s still bothered by what happened.

Unlike a lot of people say, Trey did not encourage Riddle to become a tyrant, he did not try to mold him into one, and he did not accept Riddle’s new way of being.

He just didn’t know what to do.

As I said before, he was excited to see Riddle again, he really was, Cater said Trey couldn’t stop talking about Riddle to everyone, so the fact that Riddle had a 360º change (a change that resembled him a lot like his mother), kind of scared him, because that Riddle wasn’t his friend, he wasn’t the Riddle he meet when they were kids, he wasn’t the Riddle who laughed, played and spent his time with.

We could say Trey was paralyzed for one whole year and some months because he was still trying to find a way to digest all the new information he received.

It would be something similar to living but not living at the same time.

He was studying, baking cake as always, taking care of his peers, you know, being his usual self; but deep inside, he was processing everything, he was trying to understand Riddle.

Honestly, I even imagine Trey broke down into tears, in front of his family, when he went back home for the winter holidays in his second year.

I am sure he was affected by how much Riddle changed in all the time they didn’t see each other.

Now, even if he was paralyzed, why couldn’t he try to stop Riddle?

Because Riddle became just like his mom, if someone said something he didn’t like, he would get beheaded, and that only makes Trey think back of Riddle’s mom, because it’s the same situation.

He had no power against him.

And yes, yes, he can overwrite Riddle’s UM, but…would that change Riddle?

Of course not.

And that's what I was referring to when I said he had no power against his mother, it’s not only about magic, money and fame, but also the fact that neither of the two Rosehearts would change their way of thinking so easily, they would be constantly: “I’m right and that’s final” (Riddle’s way of thinking was more like: “my mother is always right, so if she says it’s like this, then it’s like this”)

Because of that, Trey started thinking: ”I can’t change him, so the only thing I can do to not make anyone suffer anymore is to try to please and calm him down”

There was no way Trey would’ve been able to stop Riddle with that thought in mind, so Trey in reality is not a ‘bad’ or an ‘useless’ character, he is the type of person who needed a little push to realize that it was better to try than not trying at all. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So, yeah, this is my essay, nothing more, and I hope that those haters finally understand Trey’s whole design and purpose in the history

(Also, a lot of people also say that his dream is dumb and everything, and, again, I’ve not seen his dream, it has not been translated and I sadly don’t have the game, but I know that he’s the type of person who likes to bake sweets and offers them to comfort people, so in reality, I don’t think his dream is dumb, I think that is the way he sees people can be happy, you know, like: “here, it won’t immediately solve your problems, but I’m sure one slice won’t hurt” type of thought (like what happened in one of Vil’s cards, I think it was Vil’s), he just wants to be in a place where everyone can be happy one way or another, and that ended up in them being turned into meatballs, because he believes that sweets always sweeten life (yes, I made pun on that))

[sorcererofsolitude]

15 years in the future, Wenclair's eldest child just lost her first baby tooth. There seems to be some disagreement between them over the proper custom to celebrate the occasion...

Wednesday: How thrilling, her first baby tooth came out! Add it to my bone collection, and I'll get the scorpion.

Enid, stopping in her tracks: Uh... the scorpion?

Wednesday: Of course, she deserves a reward for parting with a small piece of her body, after all. We can put it under her pillow when she falls asleep.

Enid: Wens, you are NOT about to traumatize our child!

Wednesday: Nonsense! My mother and father rewarded me with a small creature every time I lost a baby tooth, and I turned out just fine.

Enid, raising an eyebrow: ...

Wednesday: Spare me your skeptical gaze. Since you seem so against my idea, what do you have in mind?

Enid, looking exasperated: You put a dollar under her pillow like every other parent does!

Wednesday, crossing her arms: A dollar? That's it? You could sell scrap metal for more! Does the tooth fairy not adjust for inflation?? That's practically an insult!

Enid: Okay... you have a point.

They compromise and place a crisp $20 bill under their daughter's pillow, along with a small picture book titled "My First Poisoned Arrow"

AO3: SorcererOfSolitude

[lovelywritinglady]

Crocodile’s Tears- Part Two- New Beginnings

Sir Crocodile x fem!reader, Doflamingo x fem!reader(siblings)

In which your life has gotten a little more complicated as your freakishly tall older brother comes back into your life.

Angst, reader is traumatized, fluff, curse words, violence. Slighy spoilers for Marine ford. Maybe out of character Crocodile and Doflamingo. May be some canon as well as non canon things.

The ocean shone brilliantly as the salty sea air whipped your h/c hair back softly. You stood on the front of the boat holding the railing that surrounded it, feeling the cool metal against your palms. You took a deep breath letting the salty air fill your lungs as your eyes still felt raw from all of the crying you had done the night prior. Your heart was still aching from recent events. You had once been the wife of a very powerful man and now you were just you and you knew that at some point, you needed to come to terms with that.

The reason you chose Dressrosa was because despite the history there, you needed to be in the comfort of your family. You desired to see your older brother even though he was a horrible person and a hardened criminal. You were an adopted by his parents as they desired to have a ‘normal’ child. You chuckled at that thought squeezing the cool railing a little bit harder as you felt fresh tears pricking your eyes once again. You started to hate yourself for wanting to see him, as he was the reason your parents weren’t here anymore. But you knew that he would welcome you with open arms, he did promise that after all. You just wish that you knew where your other brother was as he was more of the ideal person to be with. He was kind, smart, and someone you knew you could rely on. But your older brother would have to do for now, he was still family.

“We will be arriving at our destination in 1 hour.” someone on the loud speaker announced

“Well damn, that voyage was a lot quicker than I thought it be. Guess I should call Doffy.”You spoke to yourself as you admired the sea.

You reluctantly let go of the railings and began waking back to your room that was located in the middle of the ship. Once there, you sat on your bed that was hard and uncomfortable. You then took one look at your transponder snail giving it a small smile before grabbing it gently Reluctantly, you dialed your brothers number waiting for him to pick up as the sound of the transponder snail filled your tiny room. And soon enough, the transponder snail stopped with a click sound.

“Who’s this?” A gruff voice spoke

“It’s me, Doffy. It’s y/n.” You responded cringing at yourself for being so timid.

“Well, well. Hello there I was wondering when I’d get a call from you. ” He laughed out. “I told you that Crocodile was not good for you did I not.” Doflamingo spoke once more bit in a more serious tone fully knowing why you’d call him.

“I know.” You whispered feeling embarrassed

“I’m glad you know, sweet sister. Now tell me where you are so I can come and get you.” He said in a more gentle voice thing to coax you to him.

“Funny enough, in a boat right now on my way to Dressrosa. I’m about an hour away.” You replied with a nervous expression.

“Fufufu, good I’ll see you soon then. Are you just visiting or do you want to stay?” He asked slyly

“I’m not sure yet Doffy. All I know is that I need my family.” You admitted feeling too emotionally tired to hide your true feelings.

“I’m glad you’ve come to your senses.” Doflamingo stated as that sentence reminded you of the big fight the two of you had when you first started dating crocodile. You then sighed trying to push down the thoughts of your husband down. “See you soon, y/n.” Your brother added before hanging up.

“Shit. What the hell did I just get myself into.” You admitted to yourself before you began packing your things getting ready to see your big brother again.

One hour later

You had finally arrived to Dressrosa. Taking your first steps off of the boat felt like you were waking home. The familiar warmth and sight of toys filled you with joy. However, the sheer number of them shocked you as you defiantly don’t remember there being this many. Shaking your head, you decided to put it in the back of your mind as you were dedicated to one thing and one thing only; your brother.

You began looking around for him thinking that he might be here to get you. However, knowing Doffy, he was not the kind of man to do that. You shook your head that this realizing that it had been some time since you had officially seen him and you seemed to have forgotten some of his manurisums.

“Well shit, I guess I’ve gotta walk there.” You spoke to yourself.

And so you went in the direction of the castle that sat upon the plateau called the “Sunflower hill.” As you began your journey, suitcase in hand, you had walked out five minutes before you were surrounded by three men that seemed to be dressed as guards.

“Miss Donquixote, we are here to escort you to the palace by order of the king!” The guard in the middle declared handing me an official document with my brothers signature proving the legitimacy to this man’s words.

“I see. Thank you! Mind carrying my bags then?” I responded handing one of the other guards my suitcase before they could answer. I then walked past them desperate to get to my final destination.

“C-certainly!” The guard squeaked surprised at my boldness.

“Wait, miss Donquixote! We are suppose to escort you!” The last guard yelled

“Well escort me then I’m not interested in waiting any longer than I already have.” You snapped back not having any patience to deal with your brothers goonies at that moment. You then continued your fast pace not caring if they were actually escorting you or not.

“Yes ma’am!” All three of them responded as you heard them quicken their footsteps behind you. And soon enough they were in front of you “escorting” you to the palace.

After about an hour of walking, you had finally made it to your brothers palace. You smiled to yourself feeling surprisingly happy that you were going to see him after so many years. The palace hadn’t changed much since the last time you were here. With the exception of a few more shitty portraits of your brother.

“Miss Donquixote, please follow us to the throne room.” The guard holding your bag told you.

“Thank you!” You responded feeling slightly relieved that you were finally here.

The guard then lead you through a long hallway with red velvet carpet adorned with gold accents. The doors ahead that opened to the throne room was solid gold and stood wall length. The other two guards then stood on both sides of the doors. As the two massive opened you were greeted with the strange and malicious smile of your older brother; Donquixote Doflamingo.

“Too you long enough my sweet sister.” Doflamingo smiled crossing his legs as he sat upon his massive golden throne wearing his signature pink feathered coat.

“My bad, your guards got in my way.” You joked walking up to him with a small smile on your face.

“Fufufu I’ll deal with them later.” He spoke looking down at you with his smile never fading from his face.

“It’s good to see you brother.” You admitted not interested in starting any small talk with him knowing full well it would go absolutely no where.

“You as well dear one. It’s been so long. Why don’t we catch up in private?” He asked although knowing him, it definitely wasn’t a question. “Why don’t we talk in my office?” He added as he got up from his massive throne and began walking.

“Sure thing.” You responded as you followed.

Soon the two of you arrived to his office. Once there, the two of you sat across from each other in big office chairs. His looked perfect for him while your looked like it was about to swallow you whole. His office was huge and like the rest of the decor of the castle, it was adored with good trimmings and beautiful paintings. One of the paintings in particular caught your eye. It was a painting of you and both of your brothers. With them standing side by side with you in the middle. The sight of that painting made your heart ache. You hadn’t seem your other brother in an ever longer time than you had seen Doflamingo.

“He’s still missing y/n.” Doflamingo chimed in once he took notice you weren’t paying any attention to him.

“I know, it’s been far too long. I barely remember him.” You spoke seldomly

“What do you remember?” He asked as he leaned in closer to you.

“That he was kind, quiet, and extremely clumsy.” You replied reminiscing in your head about the time he somehow slipped sitting down. You chuckled at that thought which, not to your awareness, made Doflamingo jealous.

“Yes he was, but onto business.” He said doing his best to hide his annoyed tone and trying to give you a sweet and loving smile instead.

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right. What would you like to know?” You asked him leaning back into your massive chair.

“Everything, start from the beginning. I need to know how much that mother fucker hurt you and if I need to kill him or not.” He sneered smiling in anticipation.

“I’ll tell you everything as long as you agree not to kill him.” You responded quickly trying not to get your ex husband kill despite your hatred for him. You were so glad in that moment that you took on more of the personality of your other brother.

“Deal, just tell me everything.” He replied in an annoyed tone.

“Fine, so it all started about a little over a week ago…” You started.

Meanwhile…

The news of Arabasta’s war conflict coming to an end and Crocodiles reign over was sweeping the nation and the world by storm. The news that “white chase” Smoker of the marines had defeated the infamous pirate became one of speculation and pride to the Marines. The king was respected once more and the lost princess Vivi went back to her kingdom once more. It was a joyous occasion as the chains that held Arabasta captive were finally broken. However, there was one in particular that was not gladdened with the news; Sir Crocodile.

There he sat in a large Marine ship with sea prism stone cuffs on both his hands and feet. Blood still on his face from his recent battle with the rookie “Straw Hat” Luffy. Crocodile was defeated through and through. Both mind and body spent as not only did his plans fail, but the one thing he held dear to him was now gone too, due to his own personal failure. The area of the ship he was in was dark and smelled of rats and moldy sea water.

“Damn marines, don’t even know how to clean properly.” He spoke to himself with a raspy voice.

His head leaned forward as he tried to make himself comfortable in these shitty conditions. However, he had no luck as he was so use to his luxurious ways. His constant cigar was gone so he couldn’t even find a slight comfort in that. Crocodile then sighed feeling tired from the sea prism stone cuffs that he was bound in. As his power felt like it was gone completely. He hated this feeling, he hated being weak, but most importantly he hates knowing that he lost. He hates himself for the words that he spoke to you when he should’ve been kind to you. You were(are) his wife and he loves you more than anything.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He spoke softly to himself as though he was speaking to you.

Where were you now? Were you safe? Did you still love him? These questions kept repeating in his tired mind as he sat and sat for what felt like an eternity. He knew where he was going, but in that moment all his mind wanted to think of was you. Your smile, your eyes, your body, your kindness, your love. You were the only comfort he had in that moment and he knew that you’d be the only comfort he would have in Impel Down.

“What the hell is she going to think?” He questioned remembering that he had never told you the full extent of his plan and the full truth as to why you were in Arabasta in the first place. All he told you was that it was the best place for the two of you to make money and you accepted. “Shit!” He yelled out slamming his hand and hook down on the floor.

“Hey! Keep it down in there!” One of the marine guards called out to him. To which Crocodile glared at him making the marine guard shiver. “S-sorry!” He stuttered out.

“Whatever.” Crocodile spoke leaning back against the wall and sighing.

He knew he fucked up badly. He knew the chance of you taking him back as your husband was slim, but he didn’t care. He loved you in his twisted but genuine way. You were his and he was yours and he needed you back in his arms. You were his salvation is this fucked up world. Crocodile then in that moment, no matter what, decided he would find a way to be by your side once more and he simply didn’t care how.

“Prepare the prisoner for transfer to Impel down!” Another guard shouted to Crocodiles.

“Yes sir!” The marine saluted. “You heard him p-prisoner. Stand up!” The guard stuttered.

“Sure.” Crocodile smiled sending another wave of nerves down the guard’s spine.

Now that crocodile was standing he fully now realized just how tired he was. However, that didn’t matter now. Now, he would have to endure literal hell for god knows how long. But, he knew no matter how long no matter how much they would put him through in that place, it would be more than worth it just to see you once again.

“Y/n, I’ll find you my darling.” He whispered is mind returning to nothing but sweet thought of you and he began walking straight into hell.

Back To You…

“And that’s what happened and why I’m here now.” You spoke finishing your story.

“I know you told me I shouldn’t kill him, but the events that you just told me make me think he deserves it.” Doflamingo spoke through gritted teeth as his fists were tightly squeezed together.

“His death really wouldn’t make me feel any better you know.” You bit back annoyed that he even thought to bring this up again.

“It would make me feel better.” He muttered as you rolled your eyes at his comment.

“I know it would.” You sighed. “I just don’t wish to see him. I can’t, especially after leaving the way I did.” You admitted as you started to feel slightly sad once more.

“Good, you won’t and I’ll make damn sure of it. You left because you knew you needed better and so you came to me. I’ll make sure you find someone worthy of a woman of your caliber, that’s a promise.” Doflamingo declared feeling righteous.

“I’m not looking to move on yet Doffy…” you said looking down at you hands as your eyes began to blur. “I just can’t.” You added as your heart ached with the memory of your husband.

“Fine, but you will one day, promise me.” Doflamingo spoke seriously

“I promise.” You replied. Although not fully meaning it as your heart still belonged to your husband despite how shitty he was.

“Good girl. Now you should go see the rest of the family I know they’re excited-”Doflamingo began

“Young master! Young master!” A guard burst in holding a newspaper exclaimed.

“Dammit what?!” Your brother barked back with visible anger.

“S-sorry, young master, b-but you need to r-read the news!” He stuttered handing Doflamingo the newspaper.

Your brother scanned it, reading it carefully not fully believing the article. You noticed a mix of confusion and excitement on his face as his familiar smile grew in size. It seemed like forever until he finally finished reading. Once he did, he gave you a smug grin as he handed you the paper that caused his amusement. He knew full well that this would fully shock you. So much so that you would most likely stay with him forever.

You took the paper from him and began reading. However, by the headline, you were already confused and horrified. A gasp left your lips as you continued reading. The true horrors that your husband committed came to light. Mixed emotions were flooding you as you finished reading and shakily placed the news paper down. Angry tears flowed down your cheeks as you looked at your brother who gave you a sympathetic smile, one he knew would make you believe that he had no clue about Crocodiles plan.

“I can’t believe he would be this horrible.” Yoi cried out as you cradled your face and began to sob.

“He is a pirate y/n.” Doflamingo said coming closer to you.

“I know he is, but taking over a country and planning to destroy it. That’s so fucked!” You exclaimed as you felt large arms around your body.

“I know it is. Shhh. Everything will be okay.” Doffy reassured pulling you closer to him with a satisfied grin. “I did tell you he was trouble.” He added.

“I-I know. I just thought he told me everything. He promised that he had.” You spoke through choked tears.

Your brother didn’t respond as he simply didn’t know what to say. On one had he was satisfied that you were with him once again. And that he finally had all of his family in once place. As well as the face that he was almost certain you’d let him kill Crocodile now. However, he also felt a unfamiliar feeling bubbling up in his chest. He did love you and seeing you so upset made him feel slightly sympathetic and worry for you. He hated this feeling but chose to ignore his confused emotions as this is what you needed.

“What am I gonna do Doffy?” You whispered as your voice was beginning to hurt from all of the crying you had done.

“You’re going to say here with me, sweet y/n.” Doffy responded pulling away to look at you.

“How long?” You questioned.

“As long as you’d like to but if it were up to me you’d stay forever. We’re family and it’s high time we reminder that.” He told you grabbing your now puffy face and wiping your tears.

“You’re right! You’ve been right about everything!” You cried out “I’m sorry Doffy.” You whispered hugging him once again.

“That’s all in the past now.” He comforted “Why don’t we go see the rest of our family soon?” Doffy suggested

“I’d like that, thank you brother.” You spoke excitedly

“Good.” Doflamingo smiled smugly

Two Months Later…

Your life at this point was much improved. You were now apart of the family and even had some authority. It was great and you even opened a little flower shop near the castle that you ran, which Doflamingo agreed. You had also gone to therapy and opened up a lot about your marriage and about your own personal problems. You were much happier knowing that your husband was serving time for his heinous crimes.

However, during these past two months you realized that Crocodile’s absence would always leave a hole in your heart. Despite how awful he was to you, you did love him. You thought a lot about him and even began to miss him and the times that he was sweet and loving to you. Truthfully he was that way for the majority of your marriage.

Every day was hard, but Doffy and the family had made your days easier. You and baby 5 had gotten along well and you even helped her with her attachment issues and have tried to convince her to go to therapy. The rest of the family was hard to really get close with again, but you had tried your best. After all, they were people that you had been close with once upon a time.

Today, was quite hot in the beautiful kingdom of Dressrosa. You were tending to your flower shop, making sure that all of the displays were absolutely perfect. While you were focused on the task at hand, the bell to your shop went off alerting you of a customer. As you turned around you were greeted with the familiar face of Doflamingo.

“Hello there, what might you need today brother?” You smiled to him

“I assure you I’m not here for your beautiful flowers sweet sister, but I am here to let you know that’ll I’ll be gone for at least a week.” Doffy informed you as he crouched in your shop due to his enormous size.

“Where to?” You questioned

“There’s gonna be an execution. One for the pirate Portgus D. Ace, commander of the White Beard Pirates.” He said proudly.

“But that’s result in an all out war!” You told him perplexed by this information.

“Exactly. I’m ordered to go but really I wanna see how this will turn out! It’ll be a spectacle!” Doflamingo laughed making you cringe slightly

“I guess I’ll see you in a week then.” You responded trying to change the subject as you turned back to your flowers.

“Yes, you could come with me you know.” He suggested

“I’ve got work to do here. And besides who’s going to keep your family in shape while you’re gone.” You joked hanging your brother a blood red rose. He took it with a smile before placing it in his pocket.

“I suppose you could watch the broadcast.” He suggested

“Not really sure I wanna see all of that” you admitted feeling slightly sick at the thought of watching that boy die.

“Fair enough, but I do hope you will change your mind.” Doflamingo laughed slightly. “Take care of our family y/n. I’ll be back soon.” He spoke one last time before he left leaving you to your work.

“See you soon, brother.” You whispered as a strange feeling erupted in your chest. “This won’t end well.” You spoke to yourself as you continued w continued with your work.

A Few Days Later…

Doflamingo had arrived in MarineFord Mmmm a few days ago and already the war had begun. The theatrics were already amusing him as he watched the carnage. Pirate versus marine, the strongest versus the strongest. This war was right up his alley. Doflamingo only wished that you could be here to witness this, but hoped that you’d watching the transponder snail feed.

“Ah yes! Who is just the marines or the pairates! It doesn’t really matter this war will change the tides forever! Fufufufufu!” Doflamingo exclaimed happily.

“Ahhhhhhhhhh!” Sudden voices yelled out from up above interrupting Doflamingo celebration.

“What the” Doflamingo spoke out looking up with a frown and then surprise at a massive marine ship somehow falling from the sky.

“Dammit, Ivankov!” A familiar gruff voice yell out in annoyance.

“Iva!” A child-like voice called out.

“We’re all gonna die!” Two male voices caked out in terror.

And just as fast as he heard those voices, they were sent plummeting down into the hole in the ice below that was made not too long ago. This spectacle was enough to catch the attention of everyone on the battlefield. Faces agape at the sight making the fighting stop.

“Dammit straw hat!” The same familiar gruff voice called only this time the person was much clearer.

“Well I’ll be dammed!” Doflamingo called out to none other than Sir Crocodile.

“Shit.” Crocodile whispered to himself

Doflamingo quickly made his way to Crocodile, killing random people on the way there. As he was approaching, he took notice of Crocodile’s sad attempt at attacking Whitebeard only to be stopped by both straw hat and one of Whitebeards commanders. Crocodile was sent flying backwards as blood dripped down his nose.

“Well hey there gatorboy!” Doflamingo greeted looking down at Crocodile.

“Doflamingo stay out of my business or else!” Crocodile but back wiping the blood from his nose.

“Your business! Fufufu! Your businesses is now thriving with me after you left her broken-hearted. ” Doflamingo laughed

“What the hell are you yapping about!”Crocodile responded

“Your dear wife came crying to me after she left you!” Doflamingo

“She’s in Dressrosa?” Crocodile questioned already starting to make a plan to go to you.

“Yes! Where she belongs.” Doflamingo spoke

“She’s my wife!” Crocodile barked

“And she’s my sister and I can assure you, you’ll never see her again!” Doflamingo laughed.

“Dammit Doflamingo! She’s mine!” Crocodile replied grabbing him by the shirt

“You know she might be watching gator boy! Wouldn’t want to let her see you assault her brother, would you now? Fufufu!” Doflamingo teased

Crocodile then promptly let him go feeling nervous that you might be watching. Anxiety then crept and he decided then that he’d better act right hoping that maybe you’d see that he was a better man than the last time you had seen him.

“Damn, didn’t realize my sweet sister had such a tight leash on you gator boy.” Doflamingo joked

“Maybe I just want to my wife to see the man she deseves.” Crocodile whispered sadly

“Let’s just hope she’s looking then.” Doflamingo responded seriously confused at Crocodiles change in demeanor.

Meanwhile, back to you a few moments earlier…

You had completed your work for the day. As you closed your flower shop and made your way back to the castle you thought of your brother mentioning the broadcast at marineford and how anyone could view it if they had a video transponder snail, to which the castle did.

“Fuck it.” You whispered realizing that you were very much in fact interested in what would happen.

And thus, as you walked into the castle you set your sights on the room you knew had what you needed. As you made your way there you wondered what was going on now and what did you miss. You felt as though something happened that you had to see. Something that could change everything for you and you had no idea why yet. So, as you arrived at the room you immediately started to turn on the video transponder snail in hopes that the broadcast would work. After a little trial and error you got the massive snail working and connected to the one at Marine ford. The feed started playing and immediately you saw the massive battle that had happened and was now continuing. Pirate versus marine, the best verses the best. This was, in your mind, the war that would determine the change the world forever.

“The fucking brutality.” You spoke out eyes glued to the screen.

You noticed your brother in the corner of the screen laughing and saying some big speech that you agreed with and then;seemingly out of nowhere, a missive ship crash landed in a almost too perfect opening in the ice below. You gasped at the sight not realizing what had just happened. It was bizarre to be sure but was most bizarre was the reaction your brother had to it. He was quick to leave his post and go to the action.

“What the hell is he doing?” You wondered knowing something like this was not likely to make your brother leave the comfort of his stand. He is a king after all.

You watched your brother closely as he landed right before a giant man seemingly made of diamonds and someone who had just gotten punched by him. The video was hard to see due to all of the fight king and debris in the air. But with further focus you finally realized the reason for Doflmingos haste and why he would even be remotely interested in leaving from his viewing spot. It was a person; a person still so dear to you and who you still loved deeply, much to your own disappointment.

“Crocodile?” You whispered to yourself feeling like the world itself had stopped.

Thank you so much for reading!💜 Gonna make 1-2 more part(s) for this story! Stay Tuned! Please let me know what you thought of this part!!

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-L.W.L

Part 1 /Part 2/ Part 3