#stop infantilization
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I hate the infantilization of Beelzebub/Beel.
I hate how this fandom treats Beel like a innocent baby, HE ISN'T A BABY. Nor is he innocent. he knows about topics like sex, he is a grown ass demon. Yes, he cares about MC but saying that he is "so baby" for doing so is kinda fueling into the toxic mindset that men cannot be caring and loving without being perceived as weak and needing protection from an outside force all because they do the bare minimum for the ones they love. I've been in this fandom ever since Obey Me came out and I'm not only heavily uncomfortable but also immensely disappointed in the fandom for this infantilization that is sadly so normalized in fandoms (which, is also unnecessary to do especially since the ones they are doing it towards are grown adults who can fend for themselves and don't need any help traveling through life). He is shown to be able to show sexual desire, even when it is implied rather than outwardly expressed at times. As aforementioned, he is a grown ass man, he knows about sexual topics he is not a fucking dumbass. In fact, if you have ever read the manga or played the game, you would know he is quite smart despite people portraying him as the opposite. Don't say shit like "Stop Stereotypes" or something along those lines when you're the one fueling a mindset that is, by the name, set up to make men who are decent human beings look as if they're "weak" and/or "helpless." If not, and you continue to say it while babying grown ass adults, you're being a hypocrite by definition. So, Obey Me Fandom; Do better, stop treating Beelzebub as a "UwU Cinnamon roll who's so baby 🥺🥺🥺", he is a demon whom is on the strong side of things and can fully fend for himself and others if needed.
#rant post#rant#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me nightbringer#obey me beelzebub#obey me beel#stop infantilizing him#anti infantilization#stop infantilization
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Today Tumblr is all on the same topic of "SHUT UP INFANTILIZERS" and I'm here for it. Like I agree totally like you go bust them kneecaps, cousins!!
(I have ADHD so our disorders are basically cousins)
Similar disorders/symptoms, different stigmas, same goals!!
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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isat: explores the concept of found family outside of the expected nuclear family dynamic. goes even further by being explicitly against the idea of a found family always being nuclear, and shows this by having the characters cringe and express discomfort at the idea of being assigned specific roles. wants you to accept its found family being an amorphous blob
isat fans who don't understand themes outside of fandomized incorrect quote blogs: okay but what if odile was the mom friend and the rest of the group are her kids
#bwark#odile: i have issues with the idea of motherhood because of my upbringing#isat fans: that won't stop me because i can't read#also the siffrin infantilization has been driving me bonkers for a while#so many post canon fics have them be coddled and helicoptered around by the rest of the group#and like ofc the group being concerned and supportive and looking out for his wellbeing is one thing#but most of the time it's taken too far and siffrin pretty much loses their autonomy#i think this could be an interesting conceot to explore with siffrin feeling suffocated but usually the coddling is seen as a good thing#and not a problem. like how do expect siffrin to really start being able to recover like that#isat spoilers
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The Hughes brothers actually are that close and obsessed with each other. You just have to accept it.
#jack hughes#quinn hughes#luke hughes#hughes brothers#even luke gets in on it when he can#despite now being bigger than his brothers#‘siblings don’t want to spend all their time together’#jack brought quinn on vacation to hawaii with his girlfriend#a few years ago#quinn flew to the east coast to spend bye week with jack#last year#they all flew home to hang out together this year#‘stop infantilizing the hughes brothers’#first of all that’s not what that means#second of all#they’re adults who buy similar clothing#and straight up take each other’s full outfits#like please be for real#other siblings don’t do whatever you’re pressed about#but they DO
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can we stop babying lucy she’s not some little girl who doesn’t know anything, shes smart and self assured, sure she’s naive/sheltered, not in her maturity or intellect but rather her knowledge of a post war wasteland. shes not gonna cry if cooper tells her to shut up shes gonna lecture him about how his words hold meaning or some bs.. like guys shes not a child, shes a grown ass woman.
#fanfics gotta shape up and stop infantilizing her#this isnt even ship exclusive — please stop babying her#text post#lucy maclean#fallout#fallout tv show#fallout prime#vaultghoul#ghoulcy#ig its relavant?
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hey mouthwashing analysts, do we maybe want to think a bit before comparing a full grown man, who is just heavily disabled, to a baby? like a literal infant? especially when there's a stronger metaphorical/psychological/symbolic avatar for the baby and pregnancy already present within the narrative? (multiple even!)
#please for the love of sweet christ stop treating or alluding to disabled characters as infantile. what is wrong with you#disabled people who need to rely on the care of others are not like babies. you guys know that right#also aside from it just being generally fucked up and weird#the possible metaphor of curly as anya's baby is very week. especially juxtaposed with the stronger symbols already associated with the#baby/pregnancy in the game (namely polle and the dead pixel; i actually prefer the dead pixel as being representative of jimmy)#also i just realized i spelt weak wrong. sorry im high#i also think curly's position is meant to be reflective of anya's. he's suddenly vulnerable#trapped. and at jimmy's total mercy (the physical assult 2 months in?)#very much in a similar manner to anya. only now- its too late for him to act. he can only witness as things fall apart#someone else on here said this but#curly and jimmy as foils- curly and anya as parallels#curly as a metaphor for the baby runs the risk of. muddying the whole thing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing analysis#captain curly#anya#jimmy
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i wish people knew that you can still write adults who've never had sex like...idk...adults..
#rant#writing#fanfic#some of yall just...#idk need yall hard drives checked with the shit yall be writing#arcane fanfic#tlou fanfiction#vi x reader#ellie x reader#abby x reader#abby x fem!reader#vi x y/n#infantilizing inexperienced adults needs to stop bro
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people who say kaz is a father figure to wylan are public enemy number one. like how do you not realize how patronizing that is to wylan?? he’s an insanely intelligent boy who is like one year younger than kaz. he’s not some pitiful little baby that kaz has to raise. he’s a peer. he’s kaz’s friend, not his child.
also I feel like a lot of this infantilization (subconsciously or consciously) comes from the fact that wylan is an openly gay disabled boy, but that’s a whole new convo right there on its own.
#six of crows#six of crows duology#leigh bardugo#grishaverse#crooked kingdom#kaz brekker#wylan van eck#kaz and wylan#kylan#stop infantilizing wylan#their bond is actually extremely important to me#so stop treating it like wylan is some helpless baby#rant post#text post#infantilization#stop it
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Don't listen to the people infantilizing autistic characters, Laios is a freak on the streets AND in the sheets
#laios touden#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#stop infantilizing the guy he absolutely knows what sex is#autism
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i'm aware that due to luffy's more cheerful personality and looks, a lot of people might find it weird to picture him in sexual situations. especially since most of us see him as aroace (as if aroace people couldn't have sex or be in love but, y'know, that's for another time) and it's completely understandable to not feel comfortable around sexual stuff if you don't like it with this specific character. however, being uncomfortable around that type of content and infantilizing luffy's character to the point that you consider it problematic or wrong to put him in romantic/sexual situations is too much and you should let people enjoy characters however the fuck they want. if you don't like something just scroll and ignore it, but don't try to make everyone follow your own moral compass and likes because we're all different and luffy is just a fictional character.
people often forget he's the captain of a pirate crew. he's mature and has critical thinking and if seeing a cheerful/cute character instantly makes you assume he deserves to be "protected" from sex/romance, you are: infantilizing his personality (that may or may not be neurodivergent coded, but that's another story), villainizing sex and romance instead of just seeing those as something you don't personally enjoy but should let other people consume, and using being aroace as a shield from the real world and a stereotype instead of actually being inclusive and truly seeing him as aroaspec. friendly reminder that aroaspec people can have sex and be in romantic relationships because it's a spectrum. that's the whole thing about it. it's understandable to not be comfortable around sexual situations with a character you don't perceive as sexually active, but that doesn't mean it's wrong to write him that way. let people do whatever they want with their idea of luffy and have fun!
#sorry i'm a bit tired of people around here#this was written by an aroaspec person by the way#like y'all be treating luffy like a KID when he's literally 19#stop infantilizing the aroace spectrum stop infantilizing neurodivergent people stop infantilizing luffy's personality and looks bc he's 19#also stop using being aroaspec as something that keeps you away from sex and romance completely#if you do this you don't respect or understand aroace people and you're just using us to make yourself feel more comfortable#stop villainizing sex and romance too btw it doesn't make you less pure or worthy of being a good character#that being said please see luffy however you like bc he's a fictional character#one piece#monkey d luffy#zolu#lawlu#<- using these tags bc i saw discourse abt this with these two ships and i find it appropriate
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THANK YOUUUU!!!!!! Its good to find those in the fandom that have sense, and doesn’t infantilize them. I see it so much, that I avoid interacting with those that think that way, because they likely view the game in a different way than it was originally intended.
I understand some might want to pamper their favorite character, but they take it too far. These are grown demons, they lived thousands of years, they’ll know a lot more than MC. So, whenever I see people write about them being innocent to sex, I laugh and sigh in disappointment. In fact, MC would be the one who would be taught these things depending on how inexperienced they are.
It’s sad to see a game about demons, and dark content be subjugated to this censorship in fear that they might upset those who can’t handle these things. Then again those who can’t handle dark/adult themes shouldn’t be into OM, no wonder much of the game has turned into stereotypes of the characters.
REAL!! SPEAK YOUR TRUTH AND THE FACTS!!! 🗣🗣
But yeah, they take pampering WAY TOO far and I think that's what should be addressed especially since I was a victim of infantilization due people babying transfems and seeing a character be put through the same thing by the fandom is just so uncomfortable to see and even hear. Listen, I do say I want to pamper Gregory Violet from Black Butler but I'm still aware he is 18-19, has killed a man, and most certainly can fend for himself. Same goes for Satan, I love my green demon boy but he's still a grown ass adult 💀
#obey me nightbringer#obey me beel#obey me shall we date#obey me beelzebub#anti infantilization#stop infantilization#stop infantilizing him
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a collection or mood-board of sorts
#cal.txt#glitter text#animated text#shitpost#autistic characters#autism representation#jack kline#spn#autism#your fav is#ID: your autistic favs do fuck! me. I’m fucking them. die mad about it#image posting#image collection#autism memes#autism stuff#blorbo tag#your fav#every day I remember that jack is literally a grown ass romance-feeling sex-wanting autistic adult infantilized for his autistic traits#and then I die a little bit inside#but will that stop me from carnal posting ab him? absolutely fucking not. he’s pretty and I want him and that’s never gonna change#sexualizing autism is actually crucial to beating ableism im so serious
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anyway like idk who needs to hear this but as a goy who also used to be “antizionist” i am begging y’all to just be normal about the jews please. you can and should advocate for the safety and self determination of palestinians without engaging in centuries-old antisemitic rhetoric. there is nothing any one jew could do, no opinion they could hold, that justifies the absolute bigoted vitriol being directed at them online right now
#this is in response to a post that just crossed my dash that i probably would have reblogged a few months ago#like. i was in the same position that y’all are in right now. i understand#how easy it is to give into this conditioning especially considering the cultural antisemitism that we’ve all been raised with#but the “activism” that you are perpetuating is not helping anyone and is in fact hurting both jews and palestinians alike#stop blood libel stop holocaust inversion stop infantilizing arabs stop simping for terrorist groups#stop using antisemitic slurs popularized by the fucking kkk. the bar is quite literally on the ground#for people who claim to be leftists y’all are pretty fucking indistinguishable from the right wing#in terms of “opinions on jews”#zionism#antizionism is antisemitism#leftist antisemitism#israel palestine#free palestine#free gaza#gazaunderattack#stop the genocide#israel is committing genocide#israel is a terrorist state#<- tagging for the people who need to see this not because i agree with these tags
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this tumblr user is a proud supporter of pyro tf2 gettin a lil freaky
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maybe i'm a bitch but if i hear you go out of your way to judge someone's weight, i immediately lose trust in you & will probably forever find you a little unbearable . yes also the little floating bar over my head will start reading [hostile]. this is natural and u caused it.
#IF you do the therapy to stop being an asshole and make a POINT of being like#''i used to be a jerk about this but now i'm not''#..... we can reevaluate ....#btw i hope this doesn't need explanation and everyone can be normal on this post#and not be like#what if i am a DOCTOR and i was aSKED#like we all know what i'm referring to here#you're like in target and lizzo is playing in the background and they're like#DID YOU NOTICE THAT LIZZO IS FAT?#or ur on instagram and like some dude's comment is like#NICE ART BUT WHY ARENT YOU THIN#like .... okay we get it. we get it . go to sleep . go to therapy. bye.#ALSO BTW i am in recovery for an ED and im saying this AS someone with Brain Problems#pls do not clown on this and be like ''actually i'm allowed to be rude and judgemental''#no u aren't. none of us are. having an ED is not a pass for being a fucking dick#it can make you ACT like a dick. that isn't something you should be proud of or seek to continue#hence.... therapy!!!!!!!!#i know it's kind of controversial to say it but frankly i don't believe in infantilizing mental illness#by being like ''oh they can't help themselves''#bc that kind of thinking is .... unbelievably toxic lmafo#you might not be able to control your split-second thoughts/judgements#i have ocd i understand#but like. . . .. you know#we both know#this post is not about ''u blurted something u regret''#this post is about. THAT GUY
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