#stop infantilization

[xia0mi-c0m]

I hate the infantilization of Beelzebub/Beel.

I hate how this fandom treats Beel like a innocent baby, HE ISN'T A BABY. Nor is he innocent. he knows about topics like sex, he is a grown ass demon. Yes, he cares about MC but saying that he is "so baby" for doing so is kinda fueling into the toxic mindset that men cannot be caring and loving without being perceived as weak and needing protection from an outside force all because they do the bare minimum for the ones they love. I've been in this fandom ever since Obey Me came out and I'm not only heavily uncomfortable but also immensely disappointed in the fandom for this infantilization that is sadly so normalized in fandoms (which, is also unnecessary to do especially since the ones they are doing it towards are grown adults who can fend for themselves and don't need any help traveling through life). He is shown to be able to show sexual desire, even when it is implied rather than outwardly expressed at times. As aforementioned, he is a grown ass man, he knows about sexual topics he is not a fucking dumbass. In fact, if you have ever read the manga or played the game, you would know he is quite smart despite people portraying him as the opposite. Don't say shit like "Stop Stereotypes" or something along those lines when you're the one fueling a mindset that is, by the name, set up to make men who are decent human beings look as if they're "weak" and/or "helpless." If not, and you continue to say it while babying grown ass adults, you're being a hypocrite by definition. So, Obey Me Fandom; Do better, stop treating Beelzebub as a "UwU Cinnamon roll who's so baby 🥺🥺🥺", he is a demon whom is on the strong side of things and can fully fend for himself and others if needed.

[rainbowrosegames]

Today Tumblr is all on the same topic of "SHUT UP INFANTILIZERS" and I'm here for it. Like I agree totally like you go bust them kneecaps, cousins!!

(I have ADHD so our disorders are basically cousins)

Similar disorders/symptoms, different stigmas, same goals!!

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[spyres]

isat: explores the concept of found family outside of the expected nuclear family dynamic. goes even further by being explicitly against the idea of a found family always being nuclear, and shows this by having the characters cringe and express discomfort at the idea of being assigned specific roles. wants you to accept its found family being an amorphous blob

isat fans who don't understand themes outside of fandomized incorrect quote blogs: okay but what if odile was the mom friend and the rest of the group are her kids

[giganticism]

The Hughes brothers actually are that close and obsessed with each other. You just have to accept it.

[soullessjack]

a collection or mood-board of sorts

[happyvoltz]

can we stop babying lucy she’s not some little girl who doesn’t know anything, shes smart and self assured, sure she’s naive/sheltered, not in her maturity or intellect but rather her knowledge of a post war wasteland. shes not gonna cry if cooper tells her to shut up shes gonna lecture him about how his words hold meaning or some bs.. like guys shes not a child, shes a grown ass woman.

[retourpresdetoi]

hey mouthwashing analysts, do we maybe want to think a bit before comparing a full grown man, who is just heavily disabled, to a baby? like a literal infant? especially when there's a stronger metaphorical/psychological/symbolic avatar for the baby and pregnancy already present within the narrative? (multiple even!)

[mvmnbnv]

i wish people knew that you can still write adults who've never had sex like...idk...adults..

[olskuvallanpoe]

people who say kaz is a father figure to wylan are public enemy number one. like how do you not realize how patronizing that is to wylan?? he’s an insanely intelligent boy who is like one year younger than kaz. he’s not some pitiful little baby that kaz has to raise. he’s a peer. he’s kaz’s friend, not his child.

also I feel like a lot of this infantilization (subconsciously or consciously) comes from the fact that wylan is an openly gay disabled boy, but that’s a whole new convo right there on its own.

[thesitharts]

Don't listen to the people infantilizing autistic characters, Laios is a freak on the streets AND in the sheets

[xia0mi-c0m]

THANK YOUUUU!!!!!! Its good to find those in the fandom that have sense, and doesn’t infantilize them. I see it so much, that I avoid interacting with those that think that way, because they likely view the game in a different way than it was originally intended.

I understand some might want to pamper their favorite character, but they take it too far. These are grown demons, they lived thousands of years, they’ll know a lot more than MC. So, whenever I see people write about them being innocent to sex, I laugh and sigh in disappointment. In fact, MC would be the one who would be taught these things depending on how inexperienced they are.

It’s sad to see a game about demons, and dark content be subjugated to this censorship in fear that they might upset those who can’t handle these things. Then again those who can’t handle dark/adult themes shouldn’t be into OM, no wonder much of the game has turned into stereotypes of the characters.

REAL!! SPEAK YOUR TRUTH AND THE FACTS!!! 🗣🗣

But yeah, they take pampering WAY TOO far and I think that's what should be addressed especially since I was a victim of infantilization due people babying transfems and seeing a character be put through the same thing by the fandom is just so uncomfortable to see and even hear. Listen, I do say I want to pamper Gregory Violet from Black Butler but I'm still aware he is 18-19, has killed a man, and most certainly can fend for himself. Same goes for Satan, I love my green demon boy but he's still a grown ass adult 💀

[beanghostprincess]

i'm aware that due to luffy's more cheerful personality and looks, a lot of people might find it weird to picture him in sexual situations. especially since most of us see him as aroace (as if aroace people couldn't have sex or be in love but, y'know, that's for another time) and it's completely understandable to not feel comfortable around sexual stuff if you don't like it with this specific character. however, being uncomfortable around that type of content and infantilizing luffy's character to the point that you consider it problematic or wrong to put him in romantic/sexual situations is too much and you should let people enjoy characters however the fuck they want. if you don't like something just scroll and ignore it, but don't try to make everyone follow your own moral compass and likes because we're all different and luffy is just a fictional character.

people often forget he's the captain of a pirate crew. he's mature and has critical thinking and if seeing a cheerful/cute character instantly makes you assume he deserves to be "protected" from sex/romance, you are: infantilizing his personality (that may or may not be neurodivergent coded, but that's another story), villainizing sex and romance instead of just seeing those as something you don't personally enjoy but should let other people consume, and using being aroace as a shield from the real world and a stereotype instead of actually being inclusive and truly seeing him as aroaspec. friendly reminder that aroaspec people can have sex and be in romantic relationships because it's a spectrum. that's the whole thing about it. it's understandable to not be comfortable around sexual situations with a character you don't perceive as sexually active, but that doesn't mean it's wrong to write him that way. let people do whatever they want with their idea of luffy and have fun!

[beddybites]

now guys what did i tell u about sending me asks about wanting me to draw baby giyuu tomioka and comparing this grown man to a baby kitten or implying shinobu or mitsuri are his motherly figures/big sisters

i like posting things that make me happy & stuff but i cant help but talk about these things when ppl are always in my inbox telling me to do things ive established i dont like ):

it makes me rlly uncomfy and makes me rlly sad so please please stop asking for that type of content esp with giyuu::. if i keep gettting these things ill have to close my inbox ;w;

[nachobsns]

anyway like idk who needs to hear this but as a goy who also used to be “antizionist” i am begging y’all to just be normal about the jews please. you can and should advocate for the safety and self determination of palestinians without engaging in centuries-old antisemitic rhetoric. there is nothing any one jew could do, no opinion they could hold, that justifies the absolute bigoted vitriol being directed at them online right now

[blingoblorboblog]

this tumblr user is a proud supporter of pyro tf2 gettin a lil freaky