#stoner xiao

[littldog]

part 2 of stoner xiao :3

dark content ahead, minors dni. // afab reader , meanie dom!xiao (he gets kinda soft in the middle for a bit) stoner!xiao. manipulation and guilt tripping , weed , fingering , thigh riding , spit , sir/kink. xiao calls you a bitch a lot lol. lowkey xiao is an incel not even lowkey he IS AN INCEL I LOVE INCEL STONER XIAO //

the pain on your thigh from the burn sent chills down your spine, earning a low whine to escape past your glossed lips. "w-what the fuck xiao?! why did you do that?" you furrow your eyebrows at him, looking up at him with red teary eyes. still trying to rub the burning flesh with the sleeve of your hoodie, hissing at the pain. he just laughs at your expression, almost mocking your cries and whines. its just a joke to him, you're just a little plaything for him, he doesn't care if it hurts you, because no matter what he does to you he knows you wont have the balls to actually do anything about it. which he loved about your relationship. he could throw you around his room and you'd still be crawling back to him with that little look on your face, making needy eyes up at him.

"do what? i dont know what you're talking about. you're being dramatic." xiao scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched you rub at the flesh, swatting your hand away from your thigh, he holds your hand tight. "don't rub it, you're just making it worse on yourself." he spoke sternly, the grip he had on your wrist grew tighter, making you whine out a string of "sorrys" and "please stop". he loved when you obeyed him like this. you're so easy to manipulate and control.

you huffed, getting up from his lap and onto edge of his bed, few inches away from his desk. he tsked, "whatever." xiao spoke under his breath, picking up the remains of the joint and tossing it into the ashtray beside his pc, picking up his headphones and placing them on his head. "don't bother me then, if it hurts that bad it's not my problem." xiao mumbles, switching on his monitor and turning his chair towards his desk

you hated when he was like this!!! why was he being such a meanie:( you finally did what he's been telling you to do, and he's being a big meanie about it.. he's not even giving you any attention. but, you do know what'll get his attention. you eye your backpack that you always brought to his house sitting on the floor, it was pink and had strawberries on it, xiao is the one who bought it for you!! he loves to buy you lotsa cute stuff!! giggling to yourself with the idea that has come to mind, you snag the bag from the floor and rush into the bathroom of his appartement which stunk of weed btw, locking the door you look into the mirror. too faded to even recognize yourself in the reflection, you shake your head and pay your attention back onto the pink bag, unzipping it you take out a short pink skirt. which wasn't much shorter from the one you're currently wearing, but xiao picked it out!

stripping yourself of your current outfit you stood naked in the cold bathroom, you shiver as you slipped on the new article of clothing, tossing the other one into your bag. you didn't feel like changing out of your current hoodie, since it was xiaos hoodie! he wouldn't even notice that you changed your skirt. giggling to yourself once more, as if a light bulb appeared above your head, you slid your panties down your thighs, throwing them across the bathroom, a little treat for xiao later! ^_^

adjusting your hair in the mirror and reapplying your smeared strawberry flavored lip gloss, you exit the bathroom and return to xiaos room, only to see him still sitting at his desk with his eyes focused on the pixels on his monitor. you pout to yourself, sitting back on his bed.

a few minutes go by and he still hasn't given you any attention! what the fuck!! you got all dolled up for him just for him not to give a shit? you huffed your cheeks with air, eyeing the hello kitty bong that was on his bedside table. xiao bought it for you weeks ago, he knew you didn't smoke, and would always tell you to try and he told you that you're missing out. thoughts clouded your head as you thought of the possibility of xiao not having interest in you anymore, just because you didn't want to smoke with him, which was so silly for you to think. would your boyfriend of many years really let THAT be the deal breaker? you shook your head at the voice inside your head, eyeing the bong once more. you picked up the glass, it was already filled with water. guessing xiao already used it before you. you've never smoked out of a bong before, but the amount of times you've seen xiao smoke out of one, you could get the clear image of how to do it and what to do. you note that xiao keeps his grinder in the drawer of his desk. which, he is currently sitting at. you sigh and get up. going towards the desk, opening the drawer. xiao, still doesn't notice you. or, he does and he's just ignoring you. either way, you retrieve the grinder from his desk and close the drawer, making your way back to his bed. you pack the bowl with a generous amount of weed, not wanting to go overkill and end up greening out, as you were still fucked up from just ONE puff of a joint. jeez y/n such a lightweight lmao dw me too.

you grab the spare lighter he kept at his side table and bring the rim of the glass to your lips, taking a deep breath, you inhale, lighting the bowl and watching it burn up. a little bit of anxiety washes over you as you can see the smoke rising up the glass. you remove your mouth from the rim, holding the smoke in your lungs for a few seconds before exhaling, you cough... a lot... nearly dropping the bong, you set it down and grab your water bottle which was on the table, taking a few swigs of it. face burning up from how much you've coughed, you lay down on his bed, the room spinning as you look at the ceiling. a minute goes past and still, nothing. xiao has not acknowledged your presence ever since you left the room earlier to change. having enough of his bullshit, you get up from his bed, making your way back to his chair. sitting on his thigh. "xiaooo..." you whine, tugging on the sleeve of his hoodie, earning a small grumble as a response from him. it wasnt enought, you wanted his FULL attention. you snake your hands under his hoodie, tapping your finger tips along his chest until your fingers reach his cheeks, squishing them just like how he did it to you. “can't you see i'm busy? what do you want." xiao tsked at you, jerking his head to the side to free himself from the grasp of your finger tips, looking at you in almost a disgusted way, like squishing his cheeks was a crime or something. "pay attention to me, pleaseeee.." you huffed, dragging out the "ee" in your plea. rubbing ur hips back 'n forth on his thigh, he halts your hips with one free hand that was once on the keyboard. "no panties? do i seriously not give you enough attention that you have to whore yourself out like this?" he growled softly as he brought his face close to yours, taking a whiff of your scent, the mix of weed and your vanilla perfume sent blood shooting straight to his dick.

you whimpered softly as he grabbed ahold of your hips, rutting them slowly against his thigh, which was covered by his sweatpants. "please, xiao... 'm want you so badly sir." you spoke innocently lookin up at him with pleading eyes. fluttering your lashes at him. tha'ts what did it for him. those damn pretty eyes and that pet name you love to whine out whenever you want something from him.

xiao threw his head back at the sudden name, his hold on your hips softening once he saw your needy eyes. he sat back in his chair, letting his hands run up and down your hips and thighs as you slowly rutted against his thigh, little noises escaping past your pretty lips.

"y'kno, you're so cute when you beg like that. i much prefer it from your constant bitching and complaining." xiao chuckled at your reaction when he pressed the pads of his fingers against your puffy folds. "and no panties either, you planned this didn't you?' he cocked his head to the side, waiting for your response. hand that was under your skirt now pinching your clit roughly, waiting for your response. "cm'on, speak up. i know that mouth loves to bitch and whine, so speak." xiao couldn't wait any longer to wait for a response from you, throwing you off his lap and onto his bed, he flipped you over onto your tummy, ass up in the air for him as you arched your back at the cool air hitting your sopping cunt, kicking your feet back 'n forth"

"please fuck me xiao... pretty please?" you begged, resting your head on his pillow as you wiggled your ass in the air, your hoodie now lifted up past your tummy, exposing the cute pink skirt that you put on for xiao, which made him groan at the sight of such a pretty piece of fabric on your skin.

xiao smacked the flesh of your ass harshly, a "thwck" sound echoing in the room. watching your plush bottom ripple with each smack he gave just made him needier for you, he needed to feel all up on you, its been a minute since he's been deep in your cunt, your constant bitching always earning a silent treatment from him, but what you pulled on him today with sitting on his lap with no panties on, and a cute skirt really set him off, he couldn't hold back anymore.

slipping his sweats past down his ankles, he gave his cock a few strokes as he watched you put on a show for him, biting down on his bottom lip as his pointer finger played with the slit on the head of his cock, pre cum begging to be released. having enough with your teasing, he sat on the edge of his bed beside you, one hand pushing your waist down so you wouldn't move, the other tracing up your thighs, and to your cunt. he ran his finger up 'n down your cunt, sopping wet n begging for him:( he thinks you're the cutest when you're needy like this. "you're such a good girl honey, y'kno that right?" xiao coos at your moans n whines as he slips a finger past your folds, middle finger curling against that sweet spot you loved him to hit each time. xiao pumping his fingers in and out of you with ease, squelching sounds and your moans filling his room, the smell of sex and weed intoxicating the two of you.

"p-please xiao... hurry please please please!" you begged as you matched the pace he was fucking into you with his finger, a loud smack to your cunt had put you in your place again. "shh, remember who's in control here, right? don't move n just enjoy." xiao shushes you, nodding at his words you stuff your face into his pillow as you feel him thrust another finger into your hole, not sure if its the weed or just your high haha get it high haha approaching, you clench around his fingers tightly, not wanting to cum from just his 2 fingers. you could take more than that, 'n plus he's just getting started with you. xiao takes note at how you clench around his digits, a cunning smirk appears across his face, pumping his fingers deeper , faster, into you, causing him to practically lift you off the bed wit just how fast he's finger fucking you right now. "s-sir! please 'm gonna-" you scream out a gargled whine, kicking your feet against the bed as you feel your orgasm approaching. "sir please- xiao- 'm too clos-" xiao pulled his fingers away from your cunt, a loud whimper coming past your lips, furrowing your eyebrows at the loss of contact.

"did you think i'd really let you cum that easy? are you that stupid?" xiao laughed darkly at your expression, pouting at you as he was mocking you. he got up 'n towered above you, a rough smack coming to your ass as he spread your cheeks open, watching your pussy glisten with your essence. xiao bends over and takes a long, lick along your cunt, a loud cry escaping your wet swollen lips. "please xiao, 'm promise to not b-be a bitch 'nymore... gonna be good for you, sir.." you begged for him, to at least give you some empathy, whining as you felt him stretch your cunt open without any warning, bottoming out in you. "f-fuck! 'm god xiao please-" you screamed, covering your mouth with his pillow, biting onto the fabric to try n silence the screams of pain and pleasure. "fuck'n cunt so tight for me huh? just me, right?" xiao growled against your ear, each one of his words in synch with his thrusts, which sent goosebumps to rise all over your skin. you loved when he was rough with you like this, you loved when he told you that you’re just his, n no one else can have you or your little cunt :3 “jus for you sir, please make me cum- ‘m jus yours—“ your cut off but a “thwack” to your face, xiao lifted up your face with his free hand, the other gripping onto the flesh of your ass, pounding roughly into your sopping cunt.

“stupid fuckin bitch, always beggin ‘n beggin for my cock. is that all you’re good for? milking my cum? show me how much you want it baby.” xiao groaned to your ear, his hand slipping into your mouth, spreading your lips open he spat into your mouth, watching it drip onto your tongue. “swallow, bitch.” xiao spoke sternly, another smack landing on your face, making you cry n whine. you gulped down the glob of spit on your tongue, whining n panting loudly as you felt that knot in your tummy tightening again, shaking your head side to side, tryin to break free from the harsh grasp xiao has on your face. “gonna cum— lemme cum please-“ tears falling down your face, mascara runnin down your face n staining your cheeks, lip gloss a mess again over your plump lips. “cum, cum for me baby, milk it you stupid bitch.” xiao growled close to your ear, fastening his pace in your cunt, feeling his high approach and unravel once he shot his seed deep into you, stilling his hips as you rode out your orgasm, hips twitching n stuttering around his girth. “x-xiao..” you spoke softly, he left go of your face, hand rubbing small circles onto your back as he removed himself deep from your cunt.

“you okay? i can see you made up your mind huh?” xiao chuckled softly as he lifted your limp body up n laid you against his chest, resting his back on the headboard of his bed. you were confused of what he meant, tilting your head, you eye the bong that you smoked out of prior to this happening, a shade of red appearing on your flushed face, causing xiao to coo at your expression. “my baby, its okay, i got it for you anyways. use it when you’d like.” he ran his fingers up n down your thighs, feeling the goosebumps rise at his touch. “you’re still so sensitive, wanna hop in the bath? round 2 maybe?” xiao smirked at you, wiggling his eyebrows, you rolled your eyes n got up from his bed, pulling his arms up with you, walking towards his bathroom. “o-only if you teach me how to roll a joint.” you speak bluntly, running your hands thru your hair, stealing a kiss from his lips. xiao chuckled at your enthusiasm , hand running down your cheeks to wipe the running mascara off your face, planting a kiss on your forehead and nose. “mhm, then you’re gonna be my little joint rollin’ bitch too.” you rolled your eyes at him as you stepped into the shower, the warn water hitting your skin, running down your back n hitting the plump of your ass where it was all red from xiaos smacks. you pulled xiao into the shower with you, letting the warm water run down both your bodies, the scent of weed still on your bodies n sex lulling you into a state of calm again, resting your head against xiaos chest, you yawned. “tired?” xiao spoke softly, squishing your cheeks with his hand, the other rubbing soft circles on your bottom. you nod, almost fallin asleep in the shower, xiao had to take care of you the rest of the night, after your guys’ shower, he slipped you into one of his t-shirts, and panties. he made sure you wore panties his time. slipping on a pair of pj bottoms, he decided to stay topless, getting into bed with you laying on his chest, he grabbed a preroll from the side of his bed, sparking it up n tapping on your shoulder. “want some, baby?” xiao spoke in a clam tone, laughing as you shot up and took the joint from his hand, inhaling the smoke into your lungs n falling back down onto his chest, the pads of his fingers rubbing circles on your skin lulling you into a deep sleep, along with the weed hitting you just right.

maybe smokin weed wit him wasn’t the worst idea :3

//its fuckin 9pm and i have not slept yet i am so sorry that this is so shit i wanna do part 3 maybe soon idk… i am so tired gn i hope u enjoyed this😭 pls lmk what else you would like with these prompt ^_^

xiao fuck me please thank u

[ryuto12]

Random RWBY Part Possibly 23:

Don't know the order of all these but anyway, headcanon and idea time

Maria, in her 70-90 years of life has not once paid her taxes.

Tai teaches a hand-to-hand class, Qrow used to teach a weapons construction class.

Salem has never once rolled out of bed, she has without fail for over a thousand years levitated from her mattress.

Weiss is always the last person to wake up, Ruby is the first but usually wakes Blake up by making some random noise while getting ready. Yang wakes up at any point during this.

Kali is like 2-7 years older than Ghira. I just don’t think they’re the same age and I think he’s younger.

Oscar was homeschooled.

Qrow, Ruby and Yang can’t stop making weed brownies while they were at the house in Mistral and Oscar keeps almost accidentally eating them.

He’s only stopped by Jaune, who after an unfortunate accident during their Beacon days ended up high during a history test and fucking passed it with flying colors.

Weiss spends like three weeks begging them to stop because the kitchen smells like marijuana (she refuses to call it anything else). After days of bargaining they finally come to the agreement to invest heavily in Remnant febreze and only smoke by windows or outdoors too. Despite that the smell will never leave unless Salem succeeds in ending the world.

[kazucrack]

Stoner Xiao Headcanons:

Here’s another headcanon thingy for my boy Xiao coming from a fellow stoner

When Xiao gets high he gets h i g h. He’s spacing tf out while you’re talking and he’s seeing every mathematical equation in his brain.

Xiao simply gets high to feel nothing, he wants to forget his troubles and just chill in the moment.

Xiao also ghosts his hits and knows how to roll his own joints. He takes the longest hit if he’s the one who rolled the blunt.

Imagine those rosy tinted amber eyes looking at you while he’s offering you a hit of a new indica strain he discovered from his friend, Kazuha.

He typically hates using papers and opts for flavored cigars instead and empties out the tobacco from the wrap.

Xiao is the type to take a hit from the blunt and shotgun it to you while staring deep into your eyes, then press his chapped lips against yours a bit aggressively.

He owns a bong, but prefers to smoke from joints and blunts. He usually uses the bong on occasion especially on stressful days (hehe not me projecting)

Xiao definitely has bad munchies, mf will eat everything in yo cabinet and claim it wasn’t him 😭

Shotgunning with Xiao is an experience, leaning close against his face while his dazed amber eyes look into yours and exhale the smoke of his joint into your mouth. A smirk aligning his features once he pulls away. (Shit, I’d bark for this kinda shit bro)

Team Indica 4lyfers

[xochosoxo]

the best patient ✮ | e.jaeger

MDNI-> warnings: afab reader, nurse!y/n, erenbrokehiswrist, cheater!eren, stoner!eren, dealer!eren, (pretend hes also a metalhead bc i love metalheads. and toxic eren oh my god its unhealthy), mentions of weed, blowjobs, hairpulling, missionary, cowboy, multiple creampies, dirty talk, eyerolling, tit sucking, hickies, pussy eating, cum swapping/sharing/consuming, squirting (cuz it wouldnt be a dysaren fic without squirting!), erens gf visits.

a/n: sorry im so inactive im actually so busy like all the time :( (save me.) anyway, enjoy this quick fic i wrote instead of doing my assignments!! i am a sucker for toxic,cheater,stoner,dealer,metalhead,has piercings eren. based on a scenario that i created with a character.ai bot ( i am ashamed.. it was a xiao bot.)

"hello. im nurse y/n and ill be taking care of you for the duration of your stay here." you say, walking into the ER patient room as you scan my clipboard for the details of the person staying here.

Name: Eren Yeager

DOB: March 30 XXXX

Height: 6'0 ft

"weight, ethnicity blah blah... reason of hospitlization: distal radius fracture..." you read to yourself, glancing up from the clipboard to meet eyes with the man in the hospital bed. his long brown hair was up in a messy bun, he had tattos running from his neck all the way down to his arms, and from what you can tell, he was built, rather... nicely. (he was buff asf.)

the man looked miserable. he had swollen undereyes, and his skin looked dry, but still, for some reason you found him incredibly attractive.

"hello nurse." he mutters, clearly tired.

"hello." you repeat again. "im just here just to check up on you." you explain to him, sauntering closer to his bed.

you flip the page on your clipboard to a new, blank sheet. "i will just be running some tests, checking your vital signs and see how you are healing."

eren nods compliantly.

you take that as a sign of consent and start writing some things down on paper. "he seems to be doing fine...even his arms are nice fuck." you get distracted, looking at his arms, the way the veins pop out. mentally youre drooling. his fingers are long and thick, and there are indentations of multiple rings on them which only gets you more excited.

you flip your page back to the information sheet from before, checking the notes: "frequent smoker and sexually active."

"so it says here you are a frequent smoker?" you ask him, just wanting some sort of confirmation from him.

eren nods again. "yes" he whispers. "some nicotine but mostly weed."

"oh i see." you say, writing that information down.

"i can get you some. once im out of here at least." he looks up at you.

"im sorry?" you mustive heard wrong...right?

"ive seen you around before." eren explains. "at parties...you know mostly smoking. like that last one...you were with jean and connie."

oh. you didnt hear wrong.

three days ago, on your day off, you had went to a party with your friends jean and connie. they said it would be a good idea since it would be a chance for you to finally relax from your stressful job, so you relunctantly went. that was your first time smoking weed. it was wonderful and you guess eren saw the whole thing.

"you must have it wrong... i dont typically smoke." you explain to the brown haired man.

"i know, jean and connie told me it was your first. looked like you had a good time though." he smiles tiredly up at you.

you were taken a back a bit. you didnt know that the two of them knew eren. do they know that he's in the hospital right now? are they the reason he broke his wrist? where were they?

"i see..." you ponder a bit. "are they here with you tonight? somewhere in the hospital i mean."

"yeah. theyre here with my girlfriend too since she's the only sober one who can drive at the moment... they just went back to my place to grab some things for me before you came in. they wont be back for a while." eren clarifies.

"goddamnit he has a girlfriend." you sob internally.

"thats good to know." you fake smile, looking back at your clipboard. "it says here youre also sexually active... are you taking any sort of pills perchance?" you continue with your questions, trying to get back to professionalism.

"nope its all just me." he giggles with a coy grin on his face. youd hate to admit that his laugh turned you on a bit.

you finish up your report of eren, rechecking his vitals once more to confirm things. "okay it seems as though youre on the right track... it can take up to 6-12 weeks for your wrist to comepletely heal. otherwise, you might want to lay off the weed consumption till then." you finish up.

before you can leave, he call out. "wait.."

you turn around. "what is it? are you alright?"

"i have a problem with something and i just cant seem to be able to do it myself." eren tries saying shyly, but the look in is eyes seemed to be more sinsiter than you thought. "after all... i did just break my wrist..."

he looks down at his jeans, putting the spotlight on the constrained buldge in his jeans.

youre flushed. "oh..." what were you supposed to do in this situation?? didnt he have a girlfriend?

right he had a girlfriend.

"im sure your girlfriend can help you out with that."

eren's eyebrows crease. he did have a girlfriend and she was amazing. she did basically everything for him. so why now was he so damn attracted to his nurse to want to take a risk and cheat on everything he had???

he presses his lips together before speaking, "i lied. i just didnt want to seem like a pussy to ya." sentences were forming right as he was speaking them. hopefully it was enough to fool you. "please. its so uncomfortable..."

his throbbing cock was being compressed by not only his boxers but also by his black rocker jeans. it was true. it was extremely uncomfortable so why not relieve it with the cute nurse who also happened to be the cute girl who had been sitting with his friends not too long ago, taking a drag from a joint he sold to jean and connie.

you were relunctant, but then again, you could feel your panties getting damper. you walk up to him slowly, keeping your eyes locked with his. you sit down on the bed beside him.

he feels your soft hands on his buldge and from that he lets out a restrained sigh. "fuck." he huffs.

god, there was no way this wasnt turning you on too. eren knew that. he saw the way you bit your lip as you started to unbutton his jeans.

"how long will they be gone?" you ask, hinting at the group of friends eren had mentioned previously. "for a while.. my place is pretty from from the hospital." he watches you slowly pull down his zipper. "fuck baby youre making me go crazy."

you smile, finally releasing his cock from his boxers. he was hung. youre eyes widened and he lauged.

"too much for you baby?" he questions.

"no..." you whisper, slowly kitten licking the tip, tasting his precum before fully sheathing his cock in your mouth.

eren moaned. loudly.

"holy shit!" he huffs. "oh my god..." he leans his head back, grabbing your neat ponytail to guide you while sucking him off.

"ugghhfff!" you choke on his length, tears coming to your eyes. but you like it. it felt too good. at this point, your panties were soaking wet at this point.

"fuck baby you gotta stop or else im gonna cum." eren gasps, pulling you off from his dick. "cmon take it all off... show me."

you look behind you to make sure that the door to the room was closed. you look back at him with a playful look, pulling off your uniform and undershirt to reveal your cleavage.

eren smirked, watching as your skin reacted from the cold air, goosebumps forming. he reaches behind you and releases the hooks of your bra.

he sighed at the sight of your tits. they were beautiful. you were beautiful. he kneads at your chest as you remove the rest of your garments, underwear included.

you were fully exposed to him. internally, eren was freaking out. externally, he was entranced by your body, drooling a bit.

"eren?" you ask, waving your hand infront of him. he snaps out of his trance. "are you ok?" you look at him with a worried look.

"im ok baby. sorry. lets keep going." he says, rubbing his tip on your clit. he can feel your wetness and he smirks once again,

"you are dripping baby..." he whispers in your ear. "i dont even need to prep you..." eren slowly shoves his cock into you.

you were in heaven. both of you were. to him, you felt so fucking tight. he doesnt even know if youre a virgin or not. how couldnt you be? "youre so tight..." he groans, restraining himself from prematurely giving you a creampie.

you have never felt so full in your life. in your life, you've only fucked one guy and the rest had been occupied by your plethora of sex toys. but eren... eren was different. you were filled to the brim. eren could see the buldge of his dick lightly poking through your pudgy tummy. that made him go feral.

he started thrusting into you faster, sucking on your sensitive nipples, licking around the skin as well. he left mulitple hickies in the places where only he could see them. you still were on your shift of course, he wanted to be courteous.

"mmm..." he heard you sigh, smiling as he kissed your body.

eren lifts you up so now youre straddling him. he keeps his pace constant but you wanted to take control. so you start bouncing on his cock. he watches as your tits move with you, again trying not to prematurely cum.

"mmmhf!!!!" you try to conceal your moans, but it was so hard. "fuck daddy please!! i need more!!" you were being greedy, but it felt too good.

"youre bossy baby." eren laughs. he thrusts up, faster than before. "fuck im gonna fucking cum." you watched him gasp, bringing your face closer to his, kissing him with so much passion. he kissed back.

sure he had a girlfriend, but maybe now he's finally gonna break it with her. just for you.

"ah ah..." you gasp, feeling his thrusts slow down. you whine.

"shush baby, let me cum inside before i fuck it back into you." he moans into your neck, creampie-ing your cunt. you try not to scream as you feel the heat in your stomach release as you cum as well.

your eyes roll back into your head and oh how he loves the sight. yeah hes all yours now.

eren picks up his pace once again, like he said, fucking his cum deeper into you.

you scream before he slaps a hand over your mouth. "shut it baby... dont want everyone hearing how much of a slut you are."

"mmfgf!" you groan in protest.

eren doesnt stop his pace until he's shooting his thick load into you once again.

he's catching his breath as he pulls out, plugging your pussy with his fingers so the essence wouldnt leak from your cute slit.

youre all fucked out by the way. he watches as your face contorts into pure pleasure, feeling the band in your stomach snap as you twitch on his fingers.

eren shoves his mouth onto your pussy, licking up the mess in between your legs, tasting both him and you. he licks up your slit to your clit, flicking it with his tongue. youre overstimulated and tired. your couldnt take it anymore. you gush once more on his face, the liquid dripping down his chin and onto the sheets of the hospital bed.

"aahh..." you breathe heavily, recovering from your third orgasm.

"that feel good baby?" he says, bring his head up to meet your eyes. he could see hearts in them.

"mm... i think we're going to have to change the sheets." you giggle.

"well it was worth it." he watches as you sit up, making sure youre not in any discomfort. he rubs your back and fixes your hair. "you look beautiful like this."

"do i?" you say, questioning his taste.

he nods before leaning in for a comforting kiss. "let me take you out." he whispers.

you nod-

KNOCK KNOCK!

you glance behind you to look at the door.

"eren! its mikasa!" you both hear from the other side of the door.

you look back at him in confusion. "mikasa?"

he rolls his eyes.

"my girlfriend."

[o0oooooo0o]

uttara bhadrapada is all about honing that cool crystal center within. ppl will find that in association with these natives “most” is the word you will often see next to their name and not always in a socially acceptable way. These natives leave behind gifts to humanity transcending the boundaries of good and evil.

‧₊˚✩彡 🙀

-losing people close to you

-inhumanism

-aliens

-synth

-being non pc

-extreme wealth and 💸💸💸💸💸

-reptilian beings (dragons, snakes,…)

-aquatic beings (mermaids)

-cold, frigid, aloofness, indifference, apathy

-loneliness, disconnect

-underworld

-fantasy

-collateral damage

-humanity

-secret societies

-control & restriction

-evolution

-mysticism

-combat

-reluctant leader

-burden

-deep space, the unknown

-two faced

-blue/iridescent/chromatic/purple

-eccentricity

-cyberpunk

-conspiracy

-high technology

-destiny & fate

-neptune

-pluto

-funeral

-inertia

-legacy

-skeletons in the closet

-in plain sight

-contradiction

-transformation

-war

-cosmic rain

-drugs/psychedelics

-stoners

-plastic surgery

-victimhood

-delusion

-manipulation

-the end

-transcendence

-the chosen one

-apex saturnino

-being ahead of your time/creating something timeless

-aristocracy

-anger

-doomsday

-out of touch

-dreams

-dissolution

-destruction

-innocence

-cunning

-isolation

-apotheosis

-ascension

-kundalini awakening

-Pegasus

-Andromeda

-evil

-genius

-tamasic

-cold blooded

-ethereal essence

-uncanny valley

-alienation

-abandoning humanity

-fixed

-void

-darkness

-time

-being the brain/face of capitalism ngl

-prophecy

-elongation

-escapism

-the ocean

-for the greater good

-tying together future/present/past

-being afforded a greater, more terrible purpose

Grimes sun & moon in uttara bhadrapada

OTHER NOTABLE NATIVES:🦄

-rihanna

-hillary clinton

-kim kardashian

-anya taylor joy

-antonio banderas

-rose

-taeyeon

-rooney mara

-gemma ward

-rick owens

-jin

-felix

-tyra banks

-salma hayek

-daniel radcliffe

-joaquin phoenix

-rebecca ferguson

-lil kim

-Luca Guadagnino

-sujan stevens

-janet jackson

-steve jobs

-bill gates

-catherine zeta-jones

-andré leon talley

-anna wintour(*)

-eugenia cooney

-ash stymest

-blac chyna

-travis barker

-jane lynch

-IU

-tupac

-jason statham

-riley keough

-wiz khalfia

- jay park

-timothee chalamet

-samantha morton

-Josh McDermitt

-anton riize

-belle kiss of life

-muammar al gaddafi

-ni-ki

-sullyoon

-king krule

-aidan gillen

-josh o’connor

-salvador dalí

-sophie turner

-hayao miyazaki

-john galliano

-ed sheeran

-kendall jenner

-jessica white

-choi woo-shik

-tom brady

-russel brand

-Satoru Gojo

-Shri Ramanujan

-novak djokovic

-alek wek

-nick offerman

-steve-o

-song kang-ho

-cheng xiao

-enya umanzor

-jenny slate

-nicholas hoult

-isabelle huppert

-soobin

-bladee

-dev patel

-james cameron

-city of los angeles

-harry potter

-wanda maximoff

-iron man/tony stark

❌

-jeffrey e*stein

////(disclaimer, lowkey i’m pretty good at guessing between naks but i can’t say for sure that they r ubp moon some of these r just my own intuition/pattern recognition/symbolism unless their birth time is confirmed and i can flat out get their placements wrong but also ppl lie even about their birthday so it is what it is)

///*I will keep updating this list

UBP SUN:🦄

yuji itadori

irene

alexander mcqueen (ubp sun+rahu)

lisa (ubp sun+venus+ketu) +saturn*mercury in revati

quentin tarantino (sun+mercury+jupiter)

cha eunwoo (sun+venus+ketu+saturn)

lady gaga

mina

lee pace

ethel cain

celine dion

diana ross

yasmeen ghauri ubp sun c mercury revati

mariah carey ubp sun c rahu *mercury pisces pbp

eren yeager

keira knightly

steven tyler

MOON RULED BY UBP:🦄

karina (revati sun c ubp mercury+venus gemini moon ruler ubp mercury)

jamie campbell bower (bharani moon ruled by ubp mars)

UBP ASC:🦄

brie larson

che guevara

billie eilish

shakira+venus

KETU IN UBP:🦄

zoe saldana

bella hadid +ubp saturn

jaehyun +ubp saturn lagnesh saturn in ubp

fernanda ly

RAHU IN UBP:🦄

abbey lee kershaw

ASC RULER IN UBP:🦄

zendaya (cap asc ruled by ketu+saturn in ubp)

[cyxnidx]

GENSHIN IMPACT

- this is my Genshin master list, and the characters I write for. Please make sure to read the req. rules before submitting anything!

; Zhongli , Tighnari , Xiao , Scaramouche , Kazuha , Tartaglia , Dottore , Pantalone , Wriothesley , Neuvilette

Zhongli - May I Have Your Hand?

Zhongli & Xiao - What They’re Like When Drunk

Xiao - I Love You

Zhongli - Cheer Up

Zhongli - Boyfriend Headcanons

Cyno, Tighnari & Baizhu - What’re You Reading?

Kazuha & Xiao - Don’t Be Shy

Tighnari - Possessive.

Scaramouche, Heizou, Albedo & Tartaglia - What’re You Reading? V. 2

Tighnari, Scaramouche, Heizou, & Cyno - Don’t Be Shy V.2

Cyno, Kazuha, Zhongli, Dottore & Pantalone - Date Night

Kazuha - Lemme Help

Itto, Xiao, Baizhu & Tighnari - Small Habits

Scaramouche & Zhongli - Perfection || V.2 - Thoma & Ayato

Itto - Secrets To Tell

Scaramouche - Scarapussy // lil scenario

Zhongli, Pantalone & Baizhu - New Years Surprise

Tartaglia & Tighnari - Play Fighting

Dottore & Pantalone - Lights, Camera, Action

Xiao & Kazuha - Stoners

Neuvilette - Late Nights

Pantalone - Let Me Adorn You

Pantalone & Wriothesley - Daddy's Girl

Tartaglia, Dottore, Pantalone, Wriothelsey, Neuvillette - Y'Taste So Sweet

Neuvillette - Sweetness

Pantalone - Scare

Wriothesley - Suck It [cat & mouse 1]

Scaramouche - Cat & Mouse 2

Kazuha - Sick Day

Pantalone - Spoiled Little One

[lemonmaid]

Imagine if Genshin Impact was a reality show.

Warnings(?): kinda modernized and slight ships? And a reference to stoners and being depressed

Xiao: "my dad decided to date someone who is a few years older than me, I'm pretty sure they also tried to kill him several times before. Fucking slut".

Zhongli: "Xiao, we don't use that language in this house sweetheart".

Xiao: "I wish mom was here".

Childe: "hey there champ!".

Xiao: "kill yourself".

....

Venti: "now I know it is the holidays so that just means I have an excuse to drink more".

....

Keaya: "three things I love about the holidays, 1. I can drink with family and friends, 2. I get things, and 3. I get to start drama and it is excused".

...

Scaramouche: "I don't mean to sound like a bitch but this food taste like shit"

Ei: "Excuse me?"

Scaramouche: "oh suddenly we aren't taking constructive criticism? Oh let's make fun of Scaramouche for joining a cult but let's not help him! In fact let's abandon him!"

*slams door*

Yae *drunk*: "heh, I remember being 500 years old, teenagers. Am I right?"

...

Aether:" and then he tells me that they are just roommates but like who lives in a one-bedroom house with a roommate?"

Cyno: "someone who doesn't like their business in others people's mouths".

...

Kazuha: "mushrooms? Not that I'm one to judge for someone's intakes"

Tighnari: "oh please, this is more better than that dreadful Naku Weed. You didn't even bother bringing any drinks!"

Kazuha: "not my fault that you took a big hit"

Scaramouche: "what are you stoners doing?"

Kazuha: "trying not to be depressed".

[alexmaybe]

in the muppet version of the untamed, jin guangyao is definitely the only human character in the central cast

kermit is lan wangji, because it is imperative that his nephew is lan sizhui. sam the eagle can be lan qiren. lan xichen can be played by one of the guys in the band, i feel like at least one of them is a stoner.

miss piggy is either jiang cheng or nie mingjue, but jiang cheng is probably funnier

bunsen is xiao xingchen, beaker is song lan.

fozzie is probably a better fit for nie huaisang, but in my heart, he's played by the swedish chef

gonzo is wei wuxian. rizzo is wen ning, specifically after he becomes a fierce corpse.

statdler and waldorf are sect leaders yao and ouyang

[celabi]

Celabi I love you and your writing sm it just hits real good 😭 can I ask if are you gonna write for different characters too? Like Xiao or Venti in a scummy or stoner way? Maybe incel too-IM SORRY I DEVELOPED A THING EVER SINCE I READ INCEL XIAO FFS. Also I love you and happy early Valentine's Day mwah mwah 😍💖✨😘

I'm your 🌌 anon btw <3

I love you too!! And of course I do 🤭 I’ve read a lot of sagau venti fics and I just fell in love with him tehe, as well as Heizou and Gorou. So I’ll definitely write something for them hopefully soon! (Ahem Scummy alhaitham in the works ahem)

Also incel xiao 🤤 he’s sooooooo sighhh

My plan to make every genshin men scummy and horny for reader starts now!!! (And ends in 50 years cause I’m inconsistent 🤭)

Happy early valentines day!!! Who needs a valentine when you have azeru official on YouTube 😎

[pyonzzz]

sorry for stoner posting on main but we have weed gummies to sleep and i love that discord makes communicating between headmates easier via pk PLEASE look at this conversation between hiyori and xiao i am BEGGING you guys

I WOKE UP TO SEE THIS WITH NO WARNING I LOVE MY HEADMATES SO BAD

[littldog]

// weed, // kinda meanie xiao :( he calls u a good girl ^_^ // fem reader // he burns u wit his joint lol

this is my first work!! im rly bad as i never done it before but i wanted to get this out:3 ill make a part 2 if any of u want it!! || dni minors ||

stoner xiao who wants his darling to smoke with him, no matter how hard they beg him to stop, he wont budge!! he wants his darling to feel good like him!! he’ even got you à pretty piece for u to smoke out of!! like a hello kitty pipe or bong, and pink rolling papers!!^_^

when ur sitting on his lap while hes rolling a joint at his desk, energy drink cans all over his desk makes u whine at the mess, you always tell him how much you hate the mess!! but he doesnt care. if its a problem, u should clean it then. turning around to put ur hands over ur chest, puffing ur cheeks, he notices ur sudden attitude and sighs,

“what’s with you?” he speaks, eyes not moving from the joint in his hands as he finishes rolling it, taking the joint into his hands, he looks into ur eyes with a smirk. “lick here.” voice stern, not wanting to have to repeat himself.

you dont move, no word escapes your lips as you look at him with confused eyes, tilting your head to the side. “what?” you ask, a hinge of bitchiness in ur words makes him scoff and roll his eyes.

“are you dumb? i said lick.” he moves the joint closer to ur lips. when you dont stick ur tongue out, he rolls his eyes, using his free hand to use two fingers to put into ur mouth, tugging on ur tongue. you whine when u feel the cool contact of the pads of his fingers touch ur warm muscle, instinctively, you start licking at his fingers instead of the paper.

“the paper, not my fingers, dumb bitch. have i not fucked enough sense into you?” he spoke bluntly, removing the fingers from your mouth, he uses that hand to smack your cheek, squishing your cheeks together cooing at you when he hears your whines. “you’re so so so cute baby.” he hums, rubbing your red cheek ‘n smiling softly, a sigh coming past his lips. “do you understand what i mean? i said lick the paper, please.” he spoke softly, still, with a stern tone.

you whined softly ‘n nodded, giving little kitten licks to the paper infront of ur face, trying to avoid eye contact with him as you licked, too embarrassed to stare at him while ur tongue is lapping at the paper that keeps the joint together.

“wasn’t that hard, was it? good girl.” xiao caressed ur thigh with his free hand, running circles along ur soft skin which made u whine, ur hips stuttering on his lap.

you hum at the pet name, feeling goosebumps rise on ur skin as he touched ur thighs, lookin down to see him playing with the thigh highs you love to wear for him, they were pink with white lace at the top, the fabric tight on ur skin to make ur thighs slightly pool over the thin fabric. xiao loved it. xiao is 100% a thigh guy idc he loves thighs especially fat ones

a minute or two passes that he’s been playing with your thighs, earning small whines n whimpers from you as he snapped the fabric back so it hits ur skin, the skin slowly turning red from how tight the fabric is against ur plush flesh. xiao hums, picking up the joint from his desk as he seemed to forgot about it, your body distracted him so much from what he was meant to do :( you’re so mean to him!!

xiao holds the joint between his lips, fetching the lighter from the drawer in his desk, he lights the joint, taking a drag as ur still seated on his lap. he laughed slightly as the smoke hit ur face, making you whine and hit his chest with ur fists. “stop! i already told you i dont like it..” xiao scoffs at ur protests, mocking ur whines. he takes the joint between his lips again, taking a long hit and blowing it into ur face again, watching the way ur eyebrows furrow, ur lips form into a pout and trying to escape his grasp he had on ur hips.

“stop moving. i bought you cute shit too and u dont even use it, you just bitch ‘n whine.” xiao tsked, placing the joint down into the ashtray, his hand that was once holding the joint, now on ur hip. “why not, too much of a baby to handle it?”

you shake ur head repeatedly at his remark, bouncing on his lap slowly as you keep whining. “ ‘m not! jus don’t like… the smell..” you spoke softly, looking into his eyes, they were starting to droop and turn red, the weed hitting him pretty quickly. you have to admit, he did look very pretty in this state, the way his eyes were lidded, ‘n the way his voice was softer, raspy, making you fall more in love with him. sure, you didnt really like how he always smoked, maybe he was right. you could try it!! he did buy u pretty pieces too…

but you’re not a baby!! u wanna prove him wrong n show him u can be jus like him!! it took u a minute to really think about if you should do it or not, like there was a devil and an angel on ur shoulder. you sigh and take the joint from the tray, hands shaking slightly as u hold it to ur lips, taking a small hit, you breath the smoke into ur lungs, coughing as it escapes your lips, earning a small chuckle from xiao as he watches your reaction to the smoke.

xiao looked at you with wide eyes, seeing as you took the joint from the ash tray and in between ur lips. he tsked as he took the joint from ur hands, seeing as there was now lip gloss stained on it.

“wasn’t that bad was it huh? how do you feel baby.” xiao looked at ur dazed expression, chucking softly as ur face turned red from all the coughing you’ve done, handing you a bottle of water from his desk. “here, i didn’t even tell you to do it, guess all that talk has gotten into ur skull finally, huh?” you nod while drinking the water, an “aah” sound coming from ur lips as u downed the water, resting ur head onto his chest, feeling his heartbeat against ur ears, lulling you into a state of calm.

xiao used one hand to rub ur back, adjusting himself in his gamer chair so you two could sit comfortably, the other hand holds the joint back to his lips, taking a long drag. drag after drag, he taps ur thigh, tryin to get ur attention. “you want another? almost done. prolly can get one or two more puffs out this.” he asks, you shake your head n whine, lifting ur head to look him in the eyes, bloodshot eyes meeting his, making him chuckle at ur expression. “oh baby, you’re gone huh. and you only had one hit. such a baby..” xiao coos, pinching ur cheek with his fingers. he took the last two hits from the joint, throwing his head back as the thc was flowing thru his bloodstream, tilting his head to the side. you take note of his neck on full display, n take advantage of it. you smirk slightly n lift ur head up, latching your lips onto his jaw, suckling on the soft skin, earning a groan from the man under you. “fuck… stop doin” that.” xiao mumbles, ashing the joint onto ur thigh, which made u flinch n lift ur head up to meet his eyes.

“w-what the fuck, xiao?!” you whimpered loudly, rubbing ur hand into ur thigh, trying to ease the burning pain on ur leg.

it only made his smirk grow wider to see your reaction, you used to beg him to mark you, hit you, hurt you. but now you’re complaining? what’s gotten into you lately? does xiao need to fuck more sense into you, that you belong to him? only he can do these things to you?

part 2? ^_^

[inactivemema]

I just realized that yi city is just... city city? 🤡

[nailsonmelaningirls]

To die for

[oralbedo]

yeah head full of roommate albedo… idk smth about the thought of seeing my pretty boy high has just been doing something to me…

minors dni

🩰 cw: drug use (marijuana), cunnilingus (bedo living up to my username again [!], fingering, squirting

⁎⁺˳✧༚ nsfw below the cut ⁎⁺˳✧༚

’bedo tells you he’s going out friends from school, so you better not burn the apartment down while he’s away. you laugh, assuring him that everything will be just how he left it when he comes home from doing nerd shit with his nerd friends.

in walk xiao & kazuha, who look incredibly out of place next to your preppy roommate, xiao dressed in ripped black jeans, oversized metal t shirt, and more piercings and chains than you can count. kazuha, on the other hand, dressed like a typical skater boy, a denim jacket over his hoodie with a beanie on, and, after looking closer, you notice a blunt tucked behind his ear.

you didn’t have time to ask how on earth they met each other before xiao’s telling him to get his ass in the car, kazuha letting out a chuckle that made you certain the wood he had rolled up wouldn’t be the first he’d smoked today.

albedo returns hours later, the scent of weed mixed with his cologne filling your senses as the collapses on the couch next to you.

“the apartment is still standing, nice job,” he tells you, letting his arm rest on the upholstery behind you.

“i didn’t know you smoked,” you blurt out. it came as a surprise to you, your goody two shoes roommate who always hounded you about studying and getting to class on time being a stoner. it was out of character for him, but, then again—

“there’s a lot you don’t know about me,” albedo hummed, his other hand tilting your chin to face him. his eyelids were heavy, aquamarine irises practically glowing in the redness of his sclera. “wanna find out more?”

your face grew warm. it was usually you flustering him— being on the receiving of his taunting had your mind scrambling. it didn’t help that he looked so pretty, too, his blonde hair tied back, a few strands free and framing his face. he looked so relaxed, too, sucking his plump bottom lip as his eyes scanned your face.

albedo leaned in, giving you a few soft pecks before laying you down on the couch and shifting his focus down your jaw. the citrusy aroma of marijuana mingling with the sweetness of his cologne had your heart pounding, his tongue lapping at the soft skin of your neck, sucking and nibbling little pink and purple marks. you mewled, wrapping your arms around him as tingles of pleasure made their way down your neck to your heat.

his kisses trailed lower, biting and suckling his way down your torso. albedo spread your legs, a ravenous smile on his face as he looked down at the wet patch on your shorts. albedo glanced up at you as his long fingers tugged them off you

“you know the best part about getting high?” albedo asked rhetorically, looking up at you as his long fingers stripped the item off you. he refocused on your pussy, the outline visible in the thin black fabric, which he lazily pulled to the side as he nestled between your legs. “everything tastes even better than normal,” he finished, licking a long stripe up your cunt. you squealed at the warmth of his tongue on your sensitive clit.

albedo’s hands quickly flew to your hips, pinning you in place as he continued to drag his flattened tongue against your pussy. it felt good, but it wasn’t enough. you struggled in his grasp, hands raking his soft golden hair, trying to get closer so his focus would be where you needed him most. he took his time with you, alternating between biting and sucking on your thighs and tracing your cunt with the tip of his tongue until you were dripping with desire.

“albedo,” you sighed, your pussy twitching with arousal. “please don’t tease me.”

albedo hummed in response, placing light pecks on your clitoris and the purpling hickeys he left on your thighs. just as you were about to break and beg him for more, you felt him slip a finger inside your slick hole as he suckled your clit. your back arched involuntarily as arousal pooled in your core. albedo slowly thrusted his finger inside you, gently rubbing against your plush walls as he sucked harshly at your clit, sending bolts of pleasure through you. it was too much, but you couldn’t stop moaning long enough to beg him to slow down.

his mouth and hands switched positions as he tongue fucked you, his thumb rubbing tender circles on your swollen bud. your pussy quivered around his warm tongue as he plunged inside the drooling canal, white liquid coating his cherry red lips. you looked down at albedo, the hungry way he lapped at your cunt made the lustful tingle in your body grow. he noticed you were watching and looked up, his red rimmed eyes drinking in the look of bliss on your face with an animalistic desire.

“so damn cute,” albedo sighed dreamily between thrusts of his tongue. “could stay between these pretty thighs forever.”

albedo smirked at your flustered expression, keeping his eyes trained on yours as he alternated his movements again, shoving three long fingers into you as his mouth nursed your puffy clit. you squealed as his fingers curled against your g spot, the satisfying stretch combined with the stimulation of your most sensitive parts had you creaming around him. your moans were licentious as they echoed through the apartment, unable to control your volume as albedo’s fingers slipped in and out of your drooling cunt while his tongue rubbed your clit.

the pleasure building up was potent, making you tremble with desire as your orgasm loomed closer and closer. albedo felt your walls tighten, and he fucked his fingers into faster, brutally abusing your sweet spot as he sucked vigorously at your bud. you couldn’t help pulling his hair as you got closer and closer, warmth spreading through your lower body. with one forceful curl of his fingers you came undone, ecstatic bliss rupturing through you as you gushed around him.

your orgasm was powerful, leaving you too breathless to protest as albedo fingered you through it. you felt your overstimulated cunt clench around his fingers before clear liquid sprayed out of your fluttering hole, soaking his hand and forearm.

“ah- sorry,” you whined, embarrassed at your body’s lewd response to him. “i didn’t mean to.”

albedo chuckled as he slowly pulled out, sucking his sticky fingers coated in your slick. he laid his head on the soft meat of your thigh, sighing against the tender skin.

“don’t apologize, ’ts cute,” he told you, tracing shapes with his spit soaked fingers. he looked up at you with a devilish grin as he tucked his head back between your legs. “i wonder if i can make you do it again…”

[cyxnidx]

STONERS !

characters: xiao , kazuha

summary: them finding out you’re a stoner && asking to join

warnings: use of cannabis/edibles, gender-neutral reader

a/n: for my fellow stoners. <3

XIAO has a sweet tooth. a very strong sweet tooth. so when he saw a brand new plastic bag of cookies and chocolate squares, he had to try one. especially if you were the one that made them.

humming to himself as he approached the bag of sweets, he could feel his mouth water. if there’s one thing he did in fact enjoy other than almond tofu, it was sweets. taking out a cookie, he sighed in happiness once he took a bite. deciding that they’re definitely yours from the hint of cinnamon or a little more honey being added, he continued to eat at least 2. walking into the kitchen, you looked at xiao confused. “xiao, dont tell me you ate those?” you asked, pointing at the bag of cookies, and from the few cookie crumbs on the once clean counter you made sure you cleaned, you already had your answer as the man in front of you was sitting on the ground, head against the cupboards. he looked at you and grinned, “i did.” shaking your head, you helped him up and put him on the couch. “xiao, those were edibles.” you told him, though, it didn’t seem to mean much to him. “i want more.”

“..no, xiao.”

KAZUHA was shocked to find a bunch of green in a ball, placed together in a small ziplock bag. at first, he admired it, curious. however, the moment he decided to smell it, the intoxication of the drug hit him harshly.

“love?” he said openly, poking his head into the kitchen. you hummed, keeping your eyes on the sandwich you were making for yourself. “why do you have weed in the room?” you looked up from your sandwich and bit it. “the same reason you have edibles in the shape of chocolate.” you answered simply. he looked at you as you casually ate your sandwich. “have you eaten my candy?” you raised a brow. “have you smoked my weed?” the both of you eyed each other, waiting for a response. “if i did?” he asks. “i’m eating the rest of your so-called ‘candy.’” you told him. he sighed. “i did not smoke your weed.” you laughed at his expression, and fail at lying all together. “you liar. im eating your chocolates!” you watched as he left to go find the container he kept them in. “not if i move them first!”

[cinnamonest]

most likely roofie their darling at a party?? I put my bet on Childe.

But I feel like Xiao would be a bit of a virgin stoner and maybe lace some weed idk

Honestly, as far as parties go, the most likely to attend in the first place would definitely be Childe or Kaeya... they would both be that kind of frat boy mentality honestly. And you look perfectly naive enough to be a perfect target. Honestly, they're more likely to get elaborate and host it themselves, they'd totally be those guys to have separate bowls and tell you this one has lower AC (spoiler alert: it doesn't). They have friends help them both out too of course, if needed, to slip something in while they're distracting you with this or that.

Childe will have already made sure his room is set up and to be sure people don't go in there so he can carry you on his own... he prefers to like, actually drug you, he's not patient enough to wait for you to get drunk or anything. Just sets you down on the bed and gets to work... oh, and he's smart enough to take your clothes off and throw them somewhere back in the main room, to convince you that you took them off yourself at some point in the night, which isn't too hard to believe since other people did too. Kaeya's more the type to just really spike you, get you to blackout before you even realize how much you've taken in. It's a smart strategy, because then it's easier to convince you that you weren't drugged when you wake up tomorrow morning. Nah, you did that all on your own.

But yes omg why does being a stoner fit Xiao so well... but yes he would probably lace you with rohypnol or something like that. Kazuha too, it fits him too and he'd be the same way honestly. But they're more likely to just sorta invite you over to his house for a lil while, just to hang out and chill, you know. Also should point out that these two are also the most likely to lace something very inconspicuous, like, you're just having a wholesome time at his house all alone and he says hang on, stay in here, he'll get you soda or juice or something.

They'd both honestly be so cute about it. Like, it should not be possible for a boy to be cute while going about date rape drugging you... but both somehow are. He's so nervous, you may even notice the trembling hands and stiffness of his body while you're drinking or smoking or whatever... he just waits until you start to lean over a bit... leaning on his shoulder!! It's so euphoric. And he just shakes you a little and asks if you're okay... no response. Okay, that's good. Now he can just peel your clothes off, give you kisses even though you're so limp... does the body still respond to pleasure if unconscious? Time to find out. He'll honestly use it as an opportunity to get used to what makes you feel good if so, to ease his performance anxiety later on, eating you out and fingering you even though you barely register anything.