#still working myself up to actually working on my aus
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Hi! I’ve seen you answering and kinda info dumping about pregnancies in your Au and how they work, and I was wondering how they work biologically.
I’m always so interested by world building and new ideas, and as me myself is creating a pregnant Au, I’m really curious about the process. Would you be willing to explain more in-depth? (Sorry if this is a weird ask :3)
I mean there ain’t really much to it y’know
…when two people love each other very much they— *gets dragged away*
Okay but yeah the process is basically a normal pregnancy, people bombayayah and if they don’t use protection- *boom* a baby is created,, but that’s the normal stuff, so looking at it through the magical lens…
High magical procreation/birth/pregnancies are RARE, and it’s not because the higher the magical ability the lower the fertility, its actually the opposite (kinda), it’s rare because of the mortality rate for the birther and the baby so a lot of beings don't go through with it unless they know their partner could feesibly handle it.
So fertility wise, a lot of times I see how the more powerful the being the lower their fertility but let's put it here as the opposite, that along with the low rates of births, you wind up with strong beings who need to be calculated in who they partner up if all they want is a heir.
This is where arranged/political marriages come in, however the risk is higher to the partner who would be the birther so they have to be given a higher political status and benefits to their families to equal out the risks they'll have in the marriage.
(This also means that people who have already gone through a high magical pregnancy and survived are much more sought out for and receive courtship letters after a certain period of time after the birth even if they are still married....which means Macaque gets real popular after Xiaotian is born lmao)
For couples who are not looking to have children due to the risk but still want to be intimate, there have been spells/sigils passed down in families to prevent pregnancies from happening,,, which becomes real funny when you realize no one in FFM would be privy to this kind of info so Wukong has to suck up his pride and ask DBK for his family's spell lmaooooo brother gets laughed at before he gets sat down and given a detailed presentation over the sigil,,, the couple just has to make sure to always cast it or else they'll be getting a lil surprise lol
The whole process is calculated and thought out for powerful beings, it's a gamble not many are willing to take and seeing as a lot of them are immortal many don't see the need for children
Also going back to my previous point:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b3a65e247aa1f227b4388ae2b4c3efa3/f6f38853bbb554d6-9f/s540x810/9d12a19355747d433ab5f8c8a4c4256ff58b9350.jpg)
This is how Macaque looked when he reintroduced himself to the court after his magic deficiency was finally gone from Xiaotians birth
Tell me who wouldn't want to write courting letters for this beautiful mf
#lmk#sunset!au#ttm!au#time traveling monkey au#shadowpeach#lmk sun wukong#lmk macaque#i keep yapping but talking about worldbuilding is so fun#cant stop me now~#i think at this point people figure Xiaotian was a surprise lmaooo#also#i love the idea of Wukong being pursued from all sides by everyone at the beginning of their marriage#but after Xiaotian is born its Macaques turn to be pursued lmaoo#hes like i got no time for these fools im raising my baby rn😤💅#meanwhile wukong is running around getting rid of everyone sending courtship letters
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Shutter 1
Warnings: non/dubcon, stalking, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Characters: Peter Parker
This AU is called Watcher Anonymous and will include different series for different characters. This is our introduction to Peter and Pipsqueak.
Summary: a community class brings together all sorts.
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
The community centre is a good place to waste time. After a particularly brutal break-up, it was Peter's only distraction. His only solace. He couldn't stay in that apartment he shared with MJ and working as a freelancer couldn't keep him busy if there's nothing going on.
It got even better when she showed up. Most of his students are seniors, looking for the same thing as him, a way to keep busy. She's younger but enthusiastic. While the others come once or twice a month, she's there every week.
That day, she walks in with Betsy. She always finds one of her classmates before she even gets there. She has her camera bag over her shoulder as she adjusts her thick-lensed glasses. They magnetize her irises and make the rest of her look even smaller. That's no great feat as she's tiny all over.
He welcomes each student as he always does, a smile, or a wave, a hello, or how are you. It's a bit awkward to teach people older than even his aunt, but it's more of a club than a class. There's a few new tag alongs; Jeffrey and Edith.
He goes over the focus for the week. There's lot of birds around and he asked them all to get some good snaps before migration season. There's a bit of technical difficulties as he helps them get their prints on the overhead or upload to the cloud from their SD cards. He always has to account for their varied skillset.
His attention strays from the blue jays and the cardinals to her. She sits with her legs twisted together, her eyes set on the large screen. Her glasses reflect the tint. When it comes her turn, she presents a hummingbird she proudly explains was lured to her balcony by her honey feeder. She adds that it's also against the rules but she doesn't care. She giggles and takes her seat again.
When the meeting comes to an end, the elders bluster about the traffic or bingo. It's only two in the afternoon but some are even on the way to dinner. As he waits for them to filter out, he shuts down his laptop.
"Um, excuse me, Mr. Parker," the warbly voice startles him. She stands across from him sheepishly. He almost laughs. No one calls him mister. "Um, I was hoping you could help me but if you're busy."
He's almost breathless. He's talked to her before. He talks to everyone but she's shier around the men in the class, even him.
"No, I don't have anywhere to be. What's going on?" He forces out, wondering if he sounds as nervous as he feels.
"Erm, okay," she moves her camera bag to the front of her. "I found this old camera at the thrift shop but um, I don't want to break it. I wanted to start using it..."
She pulls out the camera with the strap attached. He tilts his head as he examines it. He reaches for the compact device.
"May I?" He asks.
"Please," she hands it over. "I don't know if it's any good. It was ten bucks but... if it doesn't work I thought it would be a good ornament."
"Holy," he turns it over, "it's a Leica. That's... you know these go for a good penny on eBay. I restored a few myself..."
"Really?" She leans in and he almost loses feeling in his fingers. She's so close but doesn't seem to realise. Being so small, she probably doesn't think about it.
"Oh, sure," he plays with the shutter button. "I could have a look over and see if it's still in good condition. Do you mind if... I take it home?"
"Yeah, that would be--" she reaches for her bag again and finds her small blue wallet inside. "I could pay you--"
"What? No," he waves her off. "It's fun to me."
"Right, um..."
"I could have it done in like a day or two," he can barely hear himself over the thumping of his heart. Is he really going to ask? "Maybe we could meet up?"
"Oh, sure. I could... I could do that," she widens her eyes and they look even bigger.
"Okay... uh, maybe we could exchange numbers?"
"That sounds good," she bounces on her soles. "Let me just..." she takes out her phone in its butterfly case, "what's yours? I'll send you a message."
He recites the numbers, his tongue sticking as he focus on getting every digit right. She smiles and taps the screen triumphantly.
"There, uh, okay, you hold onto that," she sticks up a spindly finger, "and I will wait patiently for your phone call!"
"Sure, cool, yeah," he stammers, fighting his own excitement. He takes out his phone. "I'll save your number now."
"Have a good one, Mr. Parker," she gives a little hop. "I gotta go get my train."
'Guess who just got her number!'
She flits out right as he says "you two" missing the "sweetheart" at the end. He stares at the door then slowly peeks down at his phone. He adds her to his contacts then flips over to the discord chat. He smirks as he keys in his message.
A rolling eye emoji comes from Bucky and Thor sends a celebrating one. Curtis gives a thumb up and several others see the message.
'Did you get it or steal it?' Jake snarks.
Peter sneers and blacks the screen. He's not arguing with those idiots again. They're just jealous.
#peter parker#dark peter parker#dark!peter parker#peter parker x reader#spider-man#series#marvel#mcu#drabble#watchers anonymous#avengers#shutter
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does anyone have any good fics where vi works for Silco and jinx was in Stillwater?
#idk I think it would be a cool concept#like silco finding vi after she ran away#that would be a great way to showcase silco’s manipulation#to be able to convince a girl who was ready to kill him to adopt him as a father figure#I don’t think they would be as close as jinx and silco though#but vi and sevika working together#obviously vi isn’t a tinkerer but imagine vi working for silco who can take out squads of enforcers with her fists#that would be sick#and a jinx who’s gone insane in prison cooped up with nothing but her hallucinations#who started going by jinx in Stillwater#because she firmly believes that’s what she is#that’s why she’s in prison#also like a begrudging friends dynamic between Cait and Jinx#also bonus points for caitvi enemies to lovers#like come on#and ACTUAL enemies to lovers would be nice for once#instead of mild dislike to lovers#which is still great#jinx working with Viktor#almost half of their prototypes aren’t allowed to be shown to the public because they’re covered in scribbles#hell I don’t know if jinx would be allowed to be shown to the public#also uhhh I wouldn’t mind some lightcannon#oh who am I kidding this is just my outline for a fic#I should just write this myself#ok google docs get ready for some word vomit#arcane#vi arcane#jinx arcane#swap au#arcane silco
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9dd38bde62dbc40e2180d6ea95894c44/a3f23b71e2aeac60-b3/s540x810/89dce6580cb1eafeceace190947a0b1298074829.jpg)
Well, now that I have finally watched season 4 in full, I eagerly await the movie trilogy!
In the meantime, have this lovely drawing of Nezuko giving Muzan the glare that means he's solidly in the Find Out stage of FA&FO.
#demon slayer#kny au#swap au#kamado nezuko#art#🌸#i am actually quite proud of myself on the downward angle here#still needs a little work but it's at least decent#especially the skirt i really like how the skirt turned out#also you bet i am pulling at least one of my friends into the theatre the second infinity castle hits the cheap seats#if movie tickets weren't so pricey i wpuld go to a normal theatre#but alas#movie tickets be expensive#and money be difficult to attain#but the cheap seat theatre in my hometown is actually still pretty nice#and we may end up being among the scant few in the theatre
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The dynamics of Season 7 (and Buffy's worldbuilding more generally) would make so much more sense if
a new Slayer was called when Buffy died in The Gift (she just didn't show up in Sunnydale during Season 6 because ... well, why would she? Before Buffy, it's not like any other Slayer we know of did and there's no big apocaplytic event happening in Sunnydale until the very end of the season she would have had to investigate; this would also explain why the Watcher's Council don't come back that season)
that new Slayer was Kennedy (I like Kennedy fine, and I think the fandom's constant ranking of her as one of the show's worst characters is pretty suspect, but she would make so much more sense in her role as an oppositional voice to Buffy's -- and later Faith's -- leadership of the group if she was actually a novice Slayer and not just a random teenage girl with a dead Watcher and some opinions and no actual superpowers)
I mean, I know that fandom has this whole thing about Faith (and Kendra before her) being "the active Slayer" (a term I don't believe is ever uttered on the show), but ... Other than Joss Whedon (allegedly) saying this is an interview (I've never seen the interview in question, but I'm willing to grant it exists, I guess), what is there in the show to suggest this is true? Only the fact that no new Slayer shows up in Season 7, right?
The thing is, you don't need to have had Kendra or Faith be "the active Slayer" all along to explain away the lack of a new Slayer after The Gift. The show might not ever talk about "active Slayers", but it does repeatedly talk about how Buffy's death that episode was different from the norm and why the usual rules don't apply as a result. The very reasons Willow gives as excuses for resurrecting Buffy in Bargaining -- "this isn't like anything we've dealt with before ... Buffy didn't die a natural death, she was killed by mystical energy ... we don't know where [her soul] really is ... she could be trapped" -- can very easily become excuse for why this particular death wouldn't have triggered a new Slayer. Presumably no Slayer who died before did so by jumping into a hell god's interdimensional portal. Having the Slayer's essence "trapped" in some other dimension (whether heaven or hell or somewhere else) seems like it could easily interfere with the usual rules of Slayer succession. Ignorning everything outside the show, we don't actually know that a new Slayer wouldn't have been called if Buffy had died a more ordinary death; the question simply never comes up.
(If it was Whedon's idea that Faith was the "active Slayer" all along, I don't believe it was something he decided on until Season 6 at the earliest: you can find online Buffy discussions from around that time where the writers are apparently still being coy about the possibility of a new Slayer that season. For that matter, apparently the writers were still suggesting in the gap between Seasons 2 and 3 that maybe there'd be no Slayer called to replace Kendra.)
I mean, the thing is: it's Buffy's show. A reading where Buffy is arguably not the real Slayer for most of the show's run just doesn't feel right to me.
In-universe, to the extent it comes up at all between Season 2 and Season 6, people seem to think Buffy's death would lead to another Slayer being called (the Mayor certainly thinks it's a possibility in Season 3's Enemies, for example). Buffy is very frequently referred to as "the" Slayer, not "a" Slayer, including by people who should know these things. And why do the Watcher's Council consistently seem to care so much more about Buffy than Faith? (They don't even send a new Watcher for Faith until Buffy's own Watcher is fired and Buffy also 'needs' a new Watcher; isn't this a bit weird if Faith was 'the' Slayer all this time?)
People like to read Beljoxa's Eye in Season 7's Showtime as claiming the First's plan to kill off all the Slayers is possible because Willow bringing Buffy back disrupted "the Slayer line" by making Buffy "the active Slayer" again. (In Season 7, Buffy is apparently back to believing a new Slayer will be called if she dies, even though that obviously didn't happen last time.) But neither the Eye nor anyone else ever says this explicitly. The nearest we get is Anya and Giles deciding that the problem was Buffy's resurrection: there's no further discussion of who was and who now is the "active" Slayer.
But you can fix all this worldbuilding snarl and explain Kennedy's prominence in Season 7 relative to the other Potentials (over the course of the season Kennedy gets almost as much dialogue as all the rest of them combined) so easily if you just make Kennedy a third Slayer, right from the start. You honestly wouldn't even need to rewrite the scripts for Season 7 much to adapt to this new bit of lore.
(But you should rewrite them anyway, because they are often very bad.)
#btvs#think I have posted something a lot like this before but#(1) I still think it's true#(2) I am once again trying to work myself up to actually writing my planned S7 AU fic
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And to the surprise of no one I am once again staying up far too late drawing Shin and Sara interactions
#mr beast au sara makes me so crazy actually#what do you mean she spent thirty-six years trying to turn back time so she could have another chance to save everyone#what do you mean it fucking worked#and fucking. midori. oh my god midori.#because shin doesn't know. he was dead before they met midori. midori is still his dead “best friend” in his mind#but sara knows literally everything#she had access to every record in asu-naro of course she knows everything#she's seen exactly what midori wrote about shin and it's made her sick#fuckkkk I'm driving myself crazy. “did you know he was 21 when you met��� what if i exploded into a million pieces evil style. what about that#i need to go to sleep. if I don't wake up reasonably enough my day will be ruined horribly#okay goodnight I'm going to bed now byeeee
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#feeling actually. hmm. sick to the stomach at the conversation happening in the discord#just because i haven’t posted my fic there isn’t concrete proof out there that i came up with the story independently#i’m still working on it because i’m slow#and i can’t find anyone willing to beta because 100k words is a whopping undertaking and it’s not even complete#am i going to be acccused of stealing other people’s plots or plagiarising ideas when i finally post#i came up with sending joshua back to childhood before phoenix gate#i came up with dion time loop#but everyone’s spitballing ideas and now i look like a fraud#i came up with it myself!!!#i haven’t spent a whole year painfully chaining word after word after word#completely without support or encouragement or friendship#to find myself in a place where people will say i copied them??? just because i haven’t posted??#or the worst—that my little project is ai-generated based on their prompts?#i didn’t take anyone’s prompt from today to magically start on a project that’s already thousands of words long#a hundred words a day is considered a good day for me that’s how hard and lonely it has been for a whole year#and because no one agreed to beta i don’t even have independent witnesses for the progression of my work#if i am accused of theft or ai it will kill me#it might actually destroy me#aalsjddkhsksjdhfdksk i knew i should have left the discord a long time ago#but if i leave now it’ll look like i stole someone’s ideas and cut and run ffffffff#and i can’t leave the heart of pf community literally everywhere else is indiscriminately t/d#even in waloed ships that i like people randomly bring up that ship for no fucking reason#and the other servers are all so inept and lax at keeping firm control of content that should be limited to the focal ship#it’s not that i think i am the *first* to have any ideas since these are all tropes and well known aus like groundhog#but these specific ideas for this specific ship in this specific pattern was something i thought of independently at least#and now everyone’s brainstormed my whole plot out in a chat and i can’t very well jump in like some absolute asshole#like ‘hey you’re describing my fic actually’#i can’t very well respond to nearly every comment with ‘oh that’s in my story’ ‘this too’ ‘that too’#that would be insufferable even if true#so i can only keep my mouth shut and they’re going to think i ripped off their thoughts and my fic is stillborn
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I wanna take a crack at making some fake screenshot graphics for my Sif Odile duo loopers au but I do not feel confident enough in my ability to mimic isat's art style and I also have a crippling fear of drawing backgrounds
#rat rambles#stars posting#I wanna make a thing for odile's parallel scene to the bathroom scene were sif forgets odile's name#but it takes place in the traps room by the wood carving tools which isn't the worst room to have to draw ig but I still dont want to#I could just take the lazy route and just sketch the scene so I can get it out of my head and I probably will#but at the same time I also should draw more stuff with backgrounds even if it makes me want to throw up and cry#but yeah the scene is basically just odile having a derealization moment while thinking abt the wooden odile carving sif made for her#just her looking at it and feeling nothing and trying to look ahead at siffrin expecting to be reminded of what it's supposed to make her#feel and just being met with the same emptyness in her chest as she can barely even recognize the person in front of her until they look#back at her and their expression shifts into a extremely concerned one#does that make sense? idk if Im explaining it well but I hope it makes sense#but yeah smth smth them becoming less real to eachother overtime much to the horror of both#also unrelated but I need to start rotating loop in this au in my head more theres so much to work with here#I have some vague ideas and thoughts but I have been too odile brained to properly elaborate on those in my head#Im honestly just glad Ive finally made an au that I can actually get invested in fleshing out#I havent rly found a good headspace to rly play around with the main cast but this is actually giving me smth to chew on#usually most thoughts I have abt isat just lead to me thinking abt my ocs lol#regardless Im having fun with this au and I hope that I can bring myself to commit to it#also Ive been trying to think of a decent name for this au and Im half tempted to call it from the top or smth but I feel like Im tempted#to call like every story I make that so Im on the fense abt it#especially since thats what Ive been planning on calling the prologue for spiraling upwards#not that I cant just do both but I wanna see if I can think of any alternatives
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Yang in the dc au is… complicated at best. he took Cole in because there was this extremely powerful meta who just died and no one is looking for him. and there was going to be an opportunity to play with necromancy soon, so he took the chance and sent Cole through the rift. his original intention was to get himself a highly trained and obedient attack dog, for lack of a better word. he didn’t really ‘care’ about Cole much in the beginning, but over time he did get attached to him, which is why he let Cole go back to ninjago city.
#I’m really tired right now#this might just be incoherent rambling#but yeah#Yang is fucked up and definitely isn’t a good person but he still cares#kinda#he wasn’t even sure if the rift would work#because nobody had ever actually come out of it#he still chucked a 15 year old’s body in there like it was nothing though#ninjago x dc au#ninjago yang#yang ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago#there might be a one shot about Cole’s time with Yang if I can force myself to write it#I have ideas I just need to figure out how to get them out of my head and onto a Google doc
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Okay by the end of the Lucifer fandom's October event, I was so worn out and brain dead that I absolutely could not judge the quality of my fic anymore. I had so many doubts about whether the scenes flowed together, whether I showed enough detail to support the relationship development, etc because it was an experimental format and style for me (a super distant, present tense using a kind of stream of consciousness/run on sentence style). I wanted it to mimic All Roads Lead to You by CyPanche where the fic grips you by the throat and drags you through the years, but did mine do that??? I COULDN'T TELL!!
But after I posted the full fic to AO3 last week, every single comment that's come in has been like this:
???? 😭😭😭 It'll be months before I can reread this fic with a clear head, but I think I succeeded???? idk but I am very, very happy.
#There wasn't a massive influx of comments on the first day so I was worried#-- well it was slightly above par for my Lucifer one-shots but I'm on the low end of par compared to other writers#(Don't tell me not to compare myself to others! I *know* and I am WORKING ON IT)#because my previous one-shots are all under 2k and this fandom doesn't seem to like the short fics :(#But this fic was 17k (!) so that seemed more promising for feedback so that got my hopes up#But anyway! I'm less worried about my fic now because every single comment that has come in has been gushing which I did not expect#AND I got my first fic rec on Twitter XD#I think what happened is everyone is just as tired as I am right now from the event and are still playing catch up on fics#(Because there was a CRAP ton posted during the month)#So yeah... actually high hopes aside -- I did just fine lol#Yay! :D#OH! Also this was my very first COMPLETED soulmate AU!!! \0/#After many many attempts in several fandoms I finally fucking finished one! :P#Cannot believe how much I struggled to write it when soulmate AUs are one of my favorite tropes to read#Ridiculous
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HALLEJUAH!! I REMEMBERED HOW TO ACTUALLY FINISH WRITING SOMETHING FOR A CHANGE!!
Of course, it's not any of the fics I wanted to finish. I went back to what is essentially my bread-and-butter now and wrote a short-ish, random OrangeHook fluff. But considering how much writing's been a struggle as of late, I'm just glad that I successfully finished something. I was back in one of those stretches where I couldn't seem to write much of anything. And this fic isn't about their age difference or Hook being a cuddlebug, so...progress?
Unless I decide I completely hate it (which is always a possibility) expect something to drop on Valentine's Day, tis the season, after all.
#What is wrong with you Sam you should not be allowed to write#Small victories you know?#Will I ever get sick of OrangeHook?? Apparently not#Can't even remember the last time they interacted on screen but that ain't stopping my brain LOL#On a more serious note - I really do hope that I can get back into the swing of things and make some real progress#On the bigger fics I want to work on#I want to finish the messy angst OrangeHook fic at some point even if it's unlikely to appeal to anyone#Annnnnd deep down in my cold dead heart I still wanna make an honest attempt at that DG Dead Dove fic#Even though that would be even more unappealing + a huge undertaking because that bitch would be loooooooooong#Also I had a slightly less angsty OrangeHook idea recently about them having their first fight and I wanna write that too for some reason#And there's still a part of me that really wants to continue Business/Pleasure because I have soooo many ideas for that AU#But that would require me to get over my inability to write smut#And I don't know how to do that (would appreciate any advice on that if you've got some...)#But at the same time I don't wanna beat myself up for not being able to write much - if anything - most days#This is a hobby after all - it's supposed to be fun#There ain't no deadline and it's not like I'm letting anybody down#Just gotta do at my own place#And write whatever absolute trash I want to write 😈#My tags are always so obsessive like SHUT THE FUCK UP SAM#But if you've actually read all these - hey. Thanks. Love ya 😘
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(reading my own ao3) wow this bitch is so correct and on point i wish there was more . cmon guys look at this shit https://archiveofourown.org/series/2536405
#kommento#// blatantly promoing my writing . i miss my 2021 early 2022 era i wrote so good#// not to shit on myself but i kind of lost my charm on that latest one from december#// but like woww ughhhh i wish there was more <- the writer#// FIVE MINUTES LATE I LOVE YOUU yorue the fucking epitome of the ever i loveyou kissing you#// AND ANTIHISTAMES !! AND EXTRA TIP and youre lost i love all of you i lveo you all mwa mwma mwamwamwa#// kind of fell off and lost the writing style i liked on dont let it rain BUT STILL i wrote something so IM STILL WINNING !!#// when i finish my kitchen fic it's over for all of you (shes almost at 2k and shes still going)#// when i finally finish something so au specific so self indulgent IT'S ALL OVER !!!!!#// i forgot my love for serialization and seeing things come together and whole i just wonder if i'll still have the ambition after that lon#// (in the corner) wow i wish theres more content of adachi and th attendnatn being friends#// besides the /wildly gestures at whatever the hell goes on in the iznmi tags/ whatever the FUCK this is#// i have ao3 svior btw theres so much shit censored when i open up the tag after 27 years and i do Not want to know what's in there#// sometimes i wish i could start all over and feel That Rush again where everythings so good and fun and whimsy#// learning new things one after the other like it's SO EXCITING !!!! just without the horrors this time#// and that i have YOU GUYS !!! (youre standing across me from the convenience store counter while i flop at using the barcode scanner)#// i wouldnt even KNOW adachis place in fandom i'll just be like LOOK AT HINM !!! hes so fucking terrible these two should be besties#// OKAY enogh remensicneing i need to GO !! BACK TO ACTUAL WORK !!! i love you all i hope youre all healthy
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hardcore projecting my avoidancy onto dabi in this soulmate au thing i started in november
#u know i had to do it to em#🤝🏼🧍🏽♀️🌳#should i just say f it and share my fic headcanons on this account#this account isn't linked to my writing stuff so . is it REALLY a spoiler if no one knoes what the hell im talking abojt#just kidding i can't share them bc what if someone connects the dots and finds out i like emotional intimacy#help i am so dramatic i have a writing blog and 2 god damn ao3 accounts#the main one is where i comment/bookmark/give kudos from#and the other one is my writing one#i do all that despite knowing no one gives a fuck#we'll see how i feel by the time i have 20 fics up#currently at 4 but the wips. the wips are crawling out from under my bed and grabbkng me by the ankle#they demand my attwntion SORRY but mommy has executive dysfunction#i was supposed to have posted 4 or 5 things by now so that i'd have time for the halloween stuff that come up next in my series 🥴#then i was gonna wrap it up with updates on the one year of which is valentine's day and white day#the other halloween thing i started last halloween could work too but i probably won't get in the mood to write it in time lmao#soulmate au was supposed to drop in june RIP#i have most of it's notes finished it's the actual writing that's kicking my ass. it feels so disorganized which is throwing me off#anyways this post is about that au but im actually working on the hero reader one#which i keep overthinking#ik a reader can have an ability and still not be an oc but hmmmm i dunno#the quirk is generic but i think bc i have actual ocs with that ability it is throwing me off lmao#i considered changing it to a water quirk but i think it'll stay cuz i like it more for the theme#also it'd make 1 scene annoyingly difficult#i guess i could just make it a rainy day huh#oh well it is staying. now to finish the prologue that i'll probably never post. gotta write it so i have a good idea of their dynamic#and feel the emotional weight? idk writer words bro i am jus fuckign around on#we chilling 😎#and by we i mean me and my headache#which i just gave myself#noice 😎
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Put Your Head on My Shoulder
Pair : husband!jk x wife!reader
Genre: marriage au
Warnings: sex scenes nothing too wild
w/c: 10.3 k
“Passports?”
“Check.”
“Your backpack?”
“Check.”
“My wallet? Your wallet?”
“Also check.”
“Oh! Toothbrushes?”
The man didn’t reply as he stares at you in disbelief. “Babe,” he sigh softly. But you’re too busy checking your luggage and your backpack. Not wanting to leave anything important behind.
“Our toothbrushes Kook, do we have them? Oh god don’t tell me you forgot. Remember Krabi? The one where we forgot our toothbrushes?” With frantic hands you unzip the front part of the luggage to check for the said items.
“Mr. Jeon Jungkook?”
You let out a sigh as you look up to see why your husband didn’t reply to you. Instead of catching him getting as busy as you are, he is actually looking at you with an amused smile on his face. “There we go, finally you’re looking at me.”
With a grunt you stood facing him, eyes rolling and the little lips pout started to form on your face with wrinkles on your forehead. Jungkook leans forward as he puts his hands on your shoulders, “Babe, calm down. We’re not going to the other side of the world for months. It’s your hometown. I have packed our toothbrushes, and so what, if we left them behind? We can buy them.” Jungkook squeezed your shoulders in hopes to loosen up the knotted muscles as you’re too tensed.
You are always on the edge every time the two of you went on a long trip together. But today it seems to get worse.
You’re used to be the reckless traveler, someone who is hungry with spontaneous adventures and unplanned vacations. But all of that were before marriage, before you had to take care of another human being.
Ever since with Jungkook, you always feel the need to have everything perfectly arranged. You never admitted it but you somehow feel inadequate at attending the need for your husband.
Well, compared to your peers, you, as a wife, is on an 'okay' level.
Most of your friends who got married earlier than you certainly are on the master level. You love them, really. But there’s a time when you think that they’re being too good to be true.
They’re the perfect housewives, the spot on clean home all year round, birthed beautiful babies, cooking up home cooked meals that would make top chefs cried. They’re the trophy wives.
You and Jungkook are a working couple. You work on the typical working hours, from 9 to 5. The house? You think the house look perfect because you have such a wonderful husband who loves cleaning and doing the laundry.
Unlike you, Jungkook works around his own schedule hence his working time is more flexible than yours. Plus, he’s working from home most of the time. If it’s up to you, the house would be a mess. For the food part, on weekdays, it’s take outs.
You are matured enough to understand that people will show things they wanna show. But somehow, somewhere in your heart, it stings when you thought you are not good enough as a wife.
You have no idea how you managed to catch Jungkook as your husband because that man is amazing. He never complains. Not once. Never degrading you for not being the typical wife.
As if the role is reversed in your household. He has been the one that begs you to rest so he could help with the house chores. He sometimes prepared dinner, although claiming he’s not a good cook but if there’s one warm hearty meal on the table after a long day at work waiting for you, you are in no place to complain.
"Well, I'm pretty independent too, you know. Mom and dad were busy and hyung was always studying somewhere. I know how to take care of myself, and now I can take care of you," This is Jungkook's favourite statement.
He really is an endearing human being. You’re still learning to take care of him as well. Which is why you get fidgety because you’re so afraid of screwing everything up.
“I know but we don't have to buy it. Why are we wasting money? Once we're back home, we gonna have extra set of toothbrushes, which we don't even need in the first place.” You yaps under your breath as you double check the snacks in your backpack.
Rummaging the backpack for the nth time. Ointment, mint breath strips, lip balm, protein and choco bars. Jungkook must munch on something, and he needs sugar. That’s the least you can do. Providing him snacks.
“Will you please look at me?” Jungkook hunched down to be on your eye level. He puts his hands on yours as your knuckles grip the luggage trolley. A little smile adorning his face at how his big hands envelope your tiny hands, looking perfectly fit together. He rarely tells you but he absolutely loves it when he gets to wrap your fingers with his palms. Feeling the warmth emitted from you.
But right now your hands are cold, and Jungkook knew that you’re not just anxious. He’s not sure yet, so he’s trying to ease you to tell him. Silently pleading with his cooing and his bambi eyes for you to look at him back.
He winced a little when your eyes locked on his. Jungkook knows very well from the look of his wife just gave him. Immediately, he cups your face and lean closer.
“Hey, hey what is it? Can you tell me?” he whispered as if you're both are sharing a secret that only the two of you know. In the hectic airport with so many people come and go, Jungkook grounded you by just being close to you.
“It’s just, you don’t have to come with me, you know. I hate dragging you into my family matters. I know you’re busy and the fact that you have to leave everything for a week is just,” you heave a sigh as you put your hands on his chest. “Just not sitting well with me. I can go there all by myself,” you rambles.
“Don’t say it like that,” Jungkook is not gonna lie but your words hurt him.
It hurts when you’re trying to not include him into your personal matter. He is your husband, he admits it was hard to break through the wall you built. It took him enough time to get a glimpse of the side that you always hide.
He wants to be your tree, he wants you lean on him and trust him. Your problem is his problem too. It pains him to see you stress over something and he just wanted you to share it with him.
You have never been the one who wears their emotions on their sleeves, so Jungkook have to observe you carefully. He learns with the frown on your face, the wavering voice, the way you avoid eye contact. He is still learning because you are like an enigma in an endless maze, he used to be the one who wanted to decode your thoughts, and the one that can walk into the layers of your maze without feeling lost.
But now he just wants to understand you, wants you to know that he accepts all of your quirks and wandering thoughts.
God, he loves you so much and how could you unconsciously treating him like he is a stranger.
“Don’t you dare say it like I’m not supposed to be there. Don’t exclude me from your family affairs. They’re my family too,” he emphasis on every word and it softens you.
“Also, I will not allow you to go so far away all by yourself, not when I’m still capable to go everywhere with you. I know, you’re the most amazing and independent woman but I want to be there,” Jungkook gently butts his head on yours, an act of comfort he always do when you’re not listening to him or whenever you feel a little insecure, it’s like saying I’m here and don’t shut me away, his stern yet soft statement makes your view a bit glassy.
He kissed your cheeks before leaving a fluttering peck on your lips. To soothe your nerves.
It’s true that Jungkook had insisted on coming with you to your hometown, despite his busy work. Piles of unfinished videos and songs in his studio at home were left behind immediately the moment you said you have to go back to your hometown for a family business.
Jungkook knew what family business you’re talking about because it has been your constant topic during dinner. It’s a series of events. It’s started from your aunt is getting a divorce - not that it has anything to do with you but somehow all of your family members had agreed on an urgent meeting.
You figured out from your cousin that they also wanted to gather in remembering your late Grandpapa.
It was a long overdue event. It kept getting pushed back because somebody got married, someone just gave birth, your cousin is still studying overseas and much more excuses.
Perhaps they realized now is a good time, or perhaps because everyone is coming to support your aunt. You decided that you must come, you missed everyone so dearly.
The other solid reason why you have to be there is because you’re the closest grandchild to your Grandpapa and it has been years since you visited your Grandmama. Even Jungkook hasn’t met her yet.
She couldn’t make it to your wedding since she had fallen ill at that time. The wedding was a small ceremony with only close relatives and friends. And you didn’t stay longer because you and Jungkook have to fly back immediately.
You missed your Grandmama terribly. Your grandparents practically raised you when your mom and your dad were economically and psychologically struggling in being a parent. Not that you blame them, because now, you're at their age when they become parents for the first time and you started to understand them.
Grandpapa passed away before you met Jungkook, way back when you were in high school, and sometimes it always hits you at how he would love to know the amazing man you called your husband.
Since he loves teasing you when you were little, and you can’t help but think Jungkook and Grandpapa would be close buddies with their teasing antics.
You told Jungkook some of the memories you had with your grandparents, you also shared with him the moment when you have to move out from their house to live back with your parents. You still remember the sadness looks in your Grandpapa’s wrinkled face like it all happened yesterday. You did visited them occasionally. During the holiday season or when you have a long school break. But, it was not enough.
Honestly, Jungkook is as excited and definitely nervous in meeting your Grandmama. He heard a lot about that amazing lady from you and he’s afraid of her acceptance. What if she didn’t like him? What if she decided that Jungkook is not enough for her granddaughter? From your stories your grandma sounds like a warm person but what if she’s cold to him?
“Thank you Jungkook, for coming with me,” it came out like a whisper in his ear. Squeezing your hand, he pulls you to walk beside him as he push the trolley to the boarding gate.
Although you were reluctant on dragging him along, his presence still brings you peace, and you need him.
“Oh babe, I forgot to show you. Remember yesterday, Taehyung came over with Yuna?” Jungkook is pulling out his phone from his back pocket. Wanting to show you the video of your friend’s baby.
“Of course I remember. They left before I reached home.” Sighing, recalling how you rushed to get home yesterday just to meet Yuna, the little bundle of joy.
She is just at the perfect age when curiosity takes over her and babies are the best at this age. It’s not like you can meet and play with her everyday. First of all Taehyung loves hoarding his daughter all to himself - selfish - and secondly because of your work.
Yuna is going to forget her godmother since she only spent her baby days with Jungkook, her godfather.
“I’m very sure Yuna misses you just as much as you miss her. Look at this! She’s sleeping so comfortably on our desk.” Jungkook squealed as he keeps playing the video of Yuna in her pink fluffy onesie, (the one that you bought for her) drooling on your desk next to the files. She was sleeping on her stomach and as Taehyung is about to pick her up, she whined.
Making both of you giggle at her cuteness.
“God, how does she sleeps soundly on that hard desk? You know my ass is still sore from that night you pushed me onto it?” Jungkook smirks like a little tease he is, while you’re trying to act like you have no idea what it is that he’s trying to tell.
“No, honey, I don’t know,” of course you know but you’re trying to focus on anything, not the memories of your tangled sweaty bodies, falling files and your stationary box topple over on the floor.
Sensing that you're getting shy, Jungkook keeps on teasing you. He is relentless.
He leans over the armrest, whispering in your ears, “awe come on. How can you already forgot how hard you pulled my hair, the scratches on my back, babe? Still stings. God, the way you ride me on your desk, ugh you're so hot,” he sighs heavily and you feel the warmth of his breath on your neck, you're sensitive spot.
You snapped your head so fast at your husband’s bold action. You are in an airplane for heaven’s sake! You can feel the warmth blush creeps on your face. You pinched his arm.
“There are hundreds of people on board, and we’re gonna be here for hours! No one wants to hear our bedroom story!” You hissed and Jungkook is silently yelping in pain. He hates the fact that he loves pain especially from you.
“Okay, okay, okay!! Sorry, baby, I’m sorry. I’ll behave!” He grips on your wrist to stop you from keep abusing his arm.
The grin on Jungkook’s face is as wide as yours but suddenly your face feel in horror as you remembered you rode Jungkook on your desk!
You had sex on the desk of where Yuna fell asleep on! Slept on her stomach! Face down on the spot of Jungkook’s ass! Baby Yuna! Taehyung’s sunshine! On your desk! Did you cleaned it up?!
A loud gasp coming out from you as these thoughts bombarded your mind. You covered your mouth with your hand while the other one is grabbing Jungkook.
“What, baby, why? You wanna vomit?” Jungkook quickly leans forward to grab the paper bag from the pocket seat. You stopped him, half laughing and half crying, you’re trying to explain to him the sin you two had done but it all came out as broken sentences.
Not wanting to disturb other passengers but wanting to scream at the same time is probably the hardest choice you have to make at this moment. With wide eyes, Jungkook look at you in bewilderment.
“What is it? Should I be worried? Want me to get help?” Jungkook is in between laughing along with you or be scared that his wife is losing it. Honestly he has no idea.
“Shit, babe. We had sex at the desk! Yuna slept on it! What are we gonna tell Taehyung? Should we tell him?” Wiping your tears while you’re mouth is still widely laughing is a confusing sight for Jungkook but once he gets the gist of what you’re trying to tell him, he, too let out a loud laugh.
The seat next to you gave the both of you a weird look and and grunts can be heard. Your husband straighten his back on the chair and clears his throat as he apologize loud enough for the row in front of you to catch it.
Leaning back to you he grabs your hand and trying to muffle the noise as you both keep on giggling like little kids. You’re still terrified on the inside, thinking of Yuna and how are you supposed to tell her father? Kim Taehyung is going to cut your husband’s dick once he knew.
“Jeon Jungkook, stop laughing! This is not funny,” your attempt to be serious was blown away by your own wheezing.
“In my defense, you’re the impatient one,” he scrunched his nose with his lips jutted towards you.
“You could’ve carried me to our bed!” you hissed.
Jungkook gives you a betrayed expression as he puts his hand on his chest. As if you’re accusing him of the crime both of you committed.
“Excuse me ma’am, I clearly remember you’re the one who chanted more baby, please I want you in me, now,” he mocked your moaning. Your face is in your palms as you keep shaking your head.
“I did not sound like that. Please, Jungkook at least tell me we did clean the desk.” Banging your head on his shoulder while he snorted.
“Well, your welcome, because your amazing house-husband did cleaned the desk. You blacked out the moment we got into our bedroom. Meanwhile, your dutiful husband, wiped our crime scene clean with a hand sanitizer. I told you that sanitizer will come in handy.” This is one of the moments you’re so happy to have such a clean freak as your husband.
“Oh god, thank goodness!” You showered his cheek with kisses.
“But do we have to tell Taehyung though?” Biting your lower lip, you secretly wished he is as evil as you. Because you don’t want to freak Taehyung out.
Just as you thought, called it soulmate behavior, because Jungkook just shrug it off and said to not tell him and even if he did, Taehyung would understand anyway.
He had done a lot worse back in his college days and Jungkook have all the receipts as his roommates.
Laughing softly you shakes your head. “Can’t believe we tainted Yuna like this. What kind of godparents are we? Unbelievable,” your eyes are getting droopy as the airplane breaking the clouds.
Jungkook is taking off his grey hoodie for you because you always catch cold easily, especially when travelling in an airplane. Thankfully he’s wearing a long sleeve shirt inside.
He did reminded you to wear an extra layer but it seems like you forgot. Snuggling as close as you can, you sleep almost immediately with your head on his shoulder. Jungkook chuckled at the sight. You sleep so easily. Be it on the bed or in a moving car, you are unfazed.
The first time you went on a road trip together, you fell asleep even before Jungkook gets to drive out of the city. The road trip was a lonely one for him because you slept all the way.
He is relieved, relieved that you laughed. You were fidgety and anxious with going back to your hometown before the flight and he is just really, really, really grateful that you had a good laugh just now.
He managed to take the stress off of your mind. Always.
“Where is she, do you think she forgot, Kook? Do we have to get an Uber? Ugh, why is she not picking up her phone?” Punching your phone with your thumb, you texted your cousin, asking on her whereabouts.
Not that you’re ungrateful for having her coming down to pick you and Jungkook from the airport, but it would be much easier if she told you beforehand if somehow she couldn’t make it. You would’ve requested an Uber and you’re probably would be home by now.
“Babe, sit down, please. Maybe there’s a heavy traffic or maybe she left her phone or something. It’s not like we’re waiting for hours anyway. It’s not even an hour yet. So, will you please, don’t stressed out over this, hum?” Grabbing your hand, he patted on his lap, telling you to sit on him.
Engulfing his arm on your waist, he took a breath of your natural smell on your neck and leaving a kiss on the skin. For a married guy, Jungkook is still shameless with showing off his affection on you. Grabbing you, leaving kisses on your face, smelling you. To him it’s an announcement that this girl is mine.
He sneak a peek on your unanswered texts to your cousin. Seeing you used a lot of emojis and silly meme stickers in your previous conversation with her as you’re scrolling down.
Adorable ice queen. You rarely replied cute emojis with him. He pouts as he placed his chin on your shoulder. Feeling a little jealous with your cousin.
“No reply yet?” The vibrating sound from Jungkook tickles you but since you’re still stressing over the unanswered text, you ignored it.
He’s now feeling the jet lag starting to kick in. Resting his head on your shoulder, shutting his eyes. When he said you don’t even need a comfortable bed to sleep on, well, it is the complete opposite for him. He just needs you.
A ping was heard indicating a new message on your phone, and you quickly checked it as a soft laugh coming out from your mouth. Laughing at the meme your cousin sent you. She apologized for not getting out of work earlier because now, she has to face the traffic.
As a truce for her mistake she bought you a dozen of your favorite donuts.
Jungkook flinched and scrunching his eyes as he felt a movement from you.
“Hey. Sorry, baby.” You noticed the flinched and instantly place a kiss on his cheek. As a token of apology for waking him up. By the groggy grunts, you know he’s awake now. Guilt rushed in you because you know he hates jet lag as it always gets the best of him. You’re scratching his scalp as your other hand is still holding your phone.
“She’ll be here in ten. You’re right, she’s caught in a traffic jam.”
Jungkook just hummed at that because all he wanted right now is to lay down next to you and have a good sleep. Smiling at your husband, you keep scratching the back of his head.
A habit you gained from living with Jungkook. He purrs like a kitten full with milk every time you do that. With one hand you replied to your cousin to just step on the gas like a daredevil she is.
Your cousin, Suri, is only one year older than you. She’s the mature cousin in many senses but it is always you who she runs to when life is being the big bad wolf.
Like the one when she had to tell her mom - your aunt, that she lost her earrings. They weren’t just any earrings, it was inherited by your grandmama. Being the curious rebel, Suri took them from her mom jewelry box and showing them off at school.
What a way to go when she lost them during recess. In panic, she dragged you and both of you spent hours searching for them in the school yard, at the field (she doesn’t even went to the field), at the cafeteria, basically every nook and cranny of your high school.
Living just a few houses away, you and Suri were practically attached at the hip, always hanging out together after school, so nobody really questioned why you and Suri was late on that day.
The search was fruitless. Finally she decided to come clean at her mom, which was your earliest idea before the both you dipped your heads into the bushes.
Staying by her side, you comforted her by holding her hand. She was scared shitless and as expected she got a ‘good’ earful nagging from your lovely aunt. But you still stayed by her side, only leaving when she fell asleep, with wet pillow because of the tears and snot.
Just like highschool, right now you feel the need to be by her side in facing the divorce of her parents. She acted like she was fine when you called last week, from her defeated voice, you know. You know her probably better than she knows herself.
She was the one who found out that her dad is cheating on her mom. She kept it to herself for months. Months!
Not telling a soul because she’s giving her dad a time or a chance to make things right. Her dad, doesn’t even know his daughter knew. Perhaps she was in denial but not until she broke the news to you. You advised her that she should tell her mom.
Well, clearly she did took your advice because now everyone is here to support your aunt and your cousin.
From far you can hear a screeching sound which you don’t have to listen carefully to know that it belongs to Suri. She’s loud. Even Jungkook is wide awake now. Blinking like Bambi with his big eyes, his hands are still on your hips. He looks so adorable you can’t help but planting kisses on his nose and his cheeks.
“I’m sorry you have to wake up now. I promise you will have the most wonderful rest at grandma’s. But for now we have to settle with Suri’s car, yeah?” Whispering softly as if you could break him if you speak too loud.
Jungkook just looks so fragile when woken up from a nap. You’re not sure if he managed to catch all the words you just said because he keeps blinking with a slightly parted mouth. You’re so tempted to kiss him silly when suddenly somebody tap your head from the back. It’s Suri.
“Damn, did I just cockblocked you from kissing him?” She said with a smirk on her face. Her short hair really does look better in person, she was so unsure during your facetime, feeling it would make her head look big.
Getting up from Jungkook, you give her a tight bear hug.
Feeling ignored, Jungkook grabs the end of his hoodie that you’re still wearing.
“Oh Jungkook, my brother! How are you? Man, look at this healthy long black hair. What did you feed him? He looks more buff now” She patted his shoulder like he is her little brother, looking amused at his hair.
“Keep it longer boy, your wife has a long hair kink.” She sends you a wink as if whatever that she just spilled is normal.
Jungkook tilt his head to you with a wide grin on his face.
“I know, she just doesn’t want to let go of them, her hair pulling game is getting stronger,” he chuckles. He noticed that you have become a lot more touchy especially on his hair ever since he let it grow, long enough to cover his eyes.
And not to mention how you keep on pulling them like your life is hanging on it during your heated sessions. Suri just clapped in amaze at Jungkook’s reply.
The ride was a peaceful one, perhaps Suri is as tired as you are. It's relatively far from the airport to your grandma’s.
You keep glancing out the window to stare at the view. The street is still so familiar with nothing much has changed. Sitting on the passenger seat, you’re devouring the donut from your favorite bakery like a madman because they’re still taste the same. You save some for Jungkook since he already passed out at the back seat.
The picture of you sitting next to Suri surely brings back your young adulthood memories. Only now with an additional passenger at the back.
You turn to check on him from time to time. He looks so adorable, you covered him with his hoodie after you took it off from you and his head leans on the window. Suri noticing you keep glancing back, smiles fondly.
“You can sleep with him at the back.” Suri breaks the serenity that lingered in the car.
“No, it’s fine. He’s fine.” Pulling your left leg closer until your knee reaches your chest. A habit of yours every time you’re in a car.
“Seriously, you keep glancing at him like a mom watching her baby sleeps. Does he really can only sleep with you being near to him though?”
“Yeah, he told me he was completely fine with sleeping alone before he met me. But he couldn’t anymore now.” Smiling so wide you remembered the night Jungkook confessed that.
Suri cooed and dramatically clenched her fist on her chest. “He’s romantic. You used to despise these hopeless romantics”
“Keyword, used to.”
Both of you and Suri let out a small laugh, and the smile on her face faded before she let out a sigh. “I missed you. You have no idea how bad it was for me to deal with this shit all by myself.”
You put your hand on her shoulder to comfort her. You know it won’t bring much difference but what else can you do?
“My dad is so stupid, I’m telling you. He asked me to check for his PayPal account when his mistress is still texting him at that time. Imagine how fucked up it was for me? I had to pretend I saw none of her filthy texts.” Suri speaks in a low voice, sounded defeated.
“I almost broke up with my boyfriend. I keep thinking his ‘I love you’s is as fake as my dad’s when he used it to my mom.” She rubs the bridge of her nose and you listen to her, letting her venting out all of the frustration that she couldn’t do through a video call.
“My mom acted like she’s fine and all. She told me she saw it coming. But she didn’t say shit because of me. How stupid. It’s not like I am a teenager. Hell, they should’ve part ways when we were in high school. At least I get to hang out with the kids from the ‘divorced parents’ club.”
“No, you were banned from joining clubs because you made a bad joke to one of them kids." You’re trying to lighten up the mood. But it was an exaggerated statement.
“Fuck, yeah I forgot about that one. Well, ain’t I was a troubled child, the sign of a messed up parenting was already there,”
You laugh at that and as the laughter died down, Suri looks at Jungkook through the rear-view mirror for a few seconds before her soft gaze falls on you.
“I pray he treats you right, I pray that your love will never fade. I don’t think I want to get married, not now at least. Love sucks but seeing you two, Lilo, looking this happy, makes me wanna believe in it again.”
“Lilo? I haven’t heard that nickname in a long time. You either sappy or drunk to call me that,” you giggles at your cousin. Intentionally ignoring the heavy mood because you hate it when your cousin is sad and brooding. Like she’s giving up.
“See, this is what I meant. You, was never serious about love, you hated it more than I do. I thought you’re pranking me when you told me about him. It was me who was in a long relationship but look who’s wearing the ring now,” she slightly punch your shoulder as the car stopped at the red light.
Unbeknownst to you, the passenger in the back seat is listening to your conversations.
Jungkook was half awake after he heard laughters and giggles coming from you and Suri. He wants to fall back to sleep but he decided to listen more when you told Suri he couldn’t sleep without you.
Jungkook blushed under his hoodie that he had to pulled to cover his face. He knows he shouldn’t eavesdrop on your conversations with your cousin. Since it sounded intimate when Suri talked to you in a low tone.
But then again, he couldn’t bring himself to sleep after Suri called you Lilo. He never heard of that name before, and he made a mental note to ask you about it later.
He’s eager to listen more as you and Suri are talking about him right now. When Suri said she prays he treats you right, he wanted to profusely said yes, yes he always hope he’s treating you right. Always trying to be the right man for you, that’s all he wanna be.
He couldn’t calm his wild heart when he heard his name coming from you, speaking softly.
“Jungkook, is so endearing. I’m sure he had it rough when he first met me. I was mean to him. I shut him out. But he keeps coming back, keep asking me to let him love me properly. Truthfully, at first I was annoyed. I told him he likes the idea of me, not the real me. I keep telling him that he would hate me at the end of the day,” you sigh, thinking back to the day you left him with a hurtful looks on his face.
Jungkook is screaming internally. No I would never hate you, I can’t hate you.
He wants to hold you so bad right now. Scrunching his eyes with a heavy exhale coming out of his nose. Jungkook knows his love story wasn’t the greatest love story ever told but it was the most beautiful journey he ever walked into.
From meeting you, getting to know you, rejected by you, multiple times, to the day you finally let him in. And he is still learning new things with you. His heart breaks a little when you think of it that way, because he never thought he had it rough, he never thought of you being mean to him.
“But he accepts me, all of me. I have no idea how to love so he asked me to learn it together with him. Saying yes to marrying him probably seems reckless and rushing to some but out of so many unsure things in my life, being with him isn’t one of that. Now he has become my home, my wings, my lover”
Jungkook teared up at your confession. You rarely are the first one to show affection but he knows. He always does.
After almost an hour drive, Suri slowed the car on the familiar residency. Pulling up her car in front of the beige house, you straighten up your back as you can see a few cars already parked neatly, along the street to your grandma’s house.
The beige coloured wall looks new yet you still recognize it as the house you used to reside when you were a little girl. You noticed familiar figures. Looks like everyone’s here already.
You glanced back and saw Jungkook stretching his arm as his mouth widely opened with a yawn. Suri is already out of the car hugging your other cousins. You help Jungkook fixing his hair and coming out of the car together, before they practically swarms you and engulf you in a big hug.
Jungkook can feel the warmth from the interactions he got. He really feels bad for not staying longer after the wedding. Otherwise he will get to know your family a bit better. He was awkward at first, but your uncles and aunts didn’t treat him like a stranger and everything that you’re stressed about for weeks disappeared into thin air.
The unnecessary thoughts you and Jungkook had about meeting your Grandmama also gone too.
Grandmama loves him, she may be slightly senile as she couldn’t quite remember people but she is so comfortable with Jungkook. Oh your grandma, the wrinkles on her skin, her hearing and eyesight are starting to deteriorate.
The moment you walked into the door, you saw her on her favorite couch, kneeling next to her legs, you put your hands on her knees. Informing her that you have arrived safely. She couldn’t hear you properly so Suri told you to speak a little louder.
She hardly recognize you which breaks your heart but it’s partly your fault. You should’ve visited her often.
Jungkook who was sitting next to you just looks at you and your grandma. Fondness filled in his eyes when he saw your thumb rubs circle on your Grandmama’s knee.
An act Jungkook always does to you. You introduced Jungkook to her and ever as polite your husband his, he stretched out his both of his hands to your grandma. She held his hand as Jungkook told her that he is your husband.
“Lilo? Lilo’s husband?” Grandmama asking for a confirmation at Jungkook. Jungkook kneels closer to her because she hasn’t let go of his hand. With as much energy her frail body can give, she squeezes his hand. “Lilo, you happy?” Grandmama turns to you as her other hand patted your head.
“Yes, grandma. Very happy.”
Fighting the tears from rolling down your face. This whole situation is very emotional because it’s like she’s giving your marriage a blessing. You regretted for not coming earlier. Jungkook notices how emotional you’ve become and he gives you a reassuring smile.
“Lilo makes me happy, grandma. I’m sorry for not visiting you sooner,” Jungkook squeezed back your grandma’s hand and your heart swelled at him using your childhood nickname.
The night went so well after the emotional reunion.
The thing about your big family is nobody is left out. It’s loud because everyone get to talk. Even the shy Jungkook is included. Jungkook have no idea kids love him. The only little kids interaction he managed to survive is Yuna, Taehyung’s baby.
Watching from the kitchen window, you can see your cousin’s children are following him like ducklings, the sight is very endearing.
He is good with kids, he just didn’t know that. He has a lot of stamina to match up with the kids’ energetic nature. He had his rest on the way, and now he is walking around while holding an infant.
You instantly think that he would be an amazing dad.
“Thinking of having one of those?” Suri speaks up from behind you. Her eyes glued on the kids chasing Jungkook at the yard.
Grandmama once told that Grandpapa wants a big yard for kids to run freely. Now it serves its purpose.
“We haven’t fully discuss about it yet, but we did talked ‘bout it” Your feel your stomach doing a back flip because the idea of mini you and Jungkook running around in the house, tiny hands and feet, giggles and gurgles are so, so, so tempting but you’re not sure if Jungkook wants that as much as you do.
Your marriage is still on the early stage.
As if Suri can read your mind she turns to you to help you stacked up the clean plates. “What’s there to discuss? If you both want kids, then let it happen. I’m pretty sure Jungkook wants them as much as you do.”
Biting your lower lip, thinking how should you break your desire to Jungkook. “Yea, I guess.” Turning off the faucet, you and Suri walks to the living room.
You and Jungkook decided to stay a night at your grandma’s before spending the rest of the week at your parents’ house. Jungkook feels like he has a lot to catch up with Grandmama. But since it’s already late into the night and Grandmama needs her rest, Jungkook would have to settle down with you and spend the day with her tomorrow.
Jungkook was given a mini tour of the house before you stopped at your used to be bedroom. It wasn’t big now but it felt huge when you were a little kid.
You took a shower first before Jungkook because that man takes forever when he’s in the bathroom. Seriously, he could spend an hour doing whatever it is inside it.
After showering, you sprawl on the cozy bed. Looks like someone been tidying the room, you might have to ask Suri later. You turn around to face Jungkook who is sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Babe, c’mere please, I need you,” you groggily calling him. Jungkook chuckles softly as he crawls hastily to you. Like a dog being offered the bone. This sight could be mistaken as lust but right now, with his bunny grin and and bouncy long hair? He is just so adorable.
“Okay Lilo, tell me, why am I just found out about Lilo now? Lilo?” Raising his brows as he hovers above you. You let out a soft giggles as you place your hands on his chest, creating a space between you and he pouted at that.
“Truthfully I forgot about that name. Because, only my closest family call me that.” Jungkook hums at that and you can feel the vibration from his chest.
“Back off Kook, you’re suffocating me.”
He whines when you pushed him but he clings back to you like a koala on your side. His legs trapping your legs as his hand sprawled on your stomach.
“Why Lilo?” He speaks softly.
Confused at your husband sudden ministrations, your turns to face him. “Why are you suddenly so clingy?” You raise one brow to him before he tightens his hold on your stomach. Leaving wet smooches on your neck, your jaw and your cheek.
“Let me love my wife. Come on, you didn’t answer me. Why Lilo? Is it related to Lilo and Stitch?”
You place your hand on his cheek.
"Yes, it is indeed related to Lilo and Stitch. They call me Lilo because I… Okay promise you won’t laugh first.” You giggle thinking about the silly reason behind your nickname.
“What, babe. Don’t keep me hanging. I won’t laugh.”
Propping his hand, he grabs you closer. “Stop giggling, tell me.” Jungkook pinches your cheek with his other hand.
“It’s because I used to make voodoos with spoons. Just like Lilo.” You cover your face with your hands. Jungkook lets out the loudest laugh and after realizing that maybe you’re embarrassed by that, he toned it down a little.
“You promised you won’t laugh! Asshole." You smack his arm.
“I said I won’t laugh, I didn't promise anything,” he talks back at you while sticking his tongue out.
“Trying to be a smartass now? Get away from me, I’m sleeping with grandma” You wiggle your body so you could get out from his leg. He laughs even harder as he tightens his hold, not wanting to let you go.
“Awe but why? Tell me more? How did you do it, voodoo queen”
Jungkook pulls your hands that covered your face, and he kisses the fingers and your palms.
“Kids were mean to me, telling me that my parents doesn’t love me, because I’m living with grandma and grandpa. So, coming home after school, I would grab a spoon and draw a face on it with crayons. Stop snickering Jungkook, it was so hard for me back then.” You pouted at him.
“Awe I’m sorry, I’m sorry you had a rough childhood. My poor baby,” he patted your hair like he’s coaxing a child. “Who are they? Want me to beat them? I have black belt in taekwondo, let me use my strength.” He said with a serious face. He wouldn’t.
“Jungkook it was a long time ago, and we were kids,” you smile fondly at him, feeling protected though you know he has the softest heart of them all.
“I forgot their names let alone their faces. Never choose violence, Kook, what if some kids bullied our babies, you're gonna beat them?” You trace your finger on his tensed brows, and they’re soften at your touch.
Actually his whole face softened and lit up simultaneously at your remarks.
“Our babies?" he utter. The words rolling on his tongue so smoothly.
"Say it again, love.” He nuzzles his nose on your neck. Oh, the idea of having a baby with you, drives him wild.
You on the other hand is giggling at his actions, you’re a bit ticklish on your neck. And when he bites and sucks the sensitive skin, you let out a breathy moan “Our-babies”. Damn Jeon Jungkook.
“Kook,” you speak as softly as you can.
“Hmm,” he lapped on the abused area, purple and dark pink are subtly forming and surely they will be darker marks by tomorrow morning.
Still latching on your neck he pulls himself with one hand holding him up, the other hand is roaming your body. From your arms, to your belly, before settling by the hip. His thumb is caressing your soft skin.
His dark wavy locks is tickling your chin and you had enough, grabbing his face with both hands as you bring him closer. Noses touching and his lips are wet from biting, with hooded eyes but still carrying the fondness in them, his breathing is becoming more labored and so do you.
“We shouldn’t, Grandmama is sleeping next door,” you either telling that to him or to yourself because from the way you’re licking your lower lip, you don’t want him to stop.
Jungkook knows you, you wanted him to convince you that whatever you’re about to do is okay, he will be the bad guy for you.
“Grandmama’s hearing is a bit-” before he can finish you smacked his chest.
“Don’t say it, it’s the age factor. Don’t be so mean!” You whisper harshly.
“Ouch, okay I’m sorry, I shouldn’t put it that way, but she won’t wake up. We’re not gonna bother her." He assumed.
"So, you my darling, have to be quiet,” he smirks as he winks at you.
“Yeah? Kiss me already,” you pulls him down so his lips crash on yours. It is lustful, it is messy, but Jungkook always takes it slow. He’s a bit sentimental when it comes to making love with you.
You’re so different, you want it hard. Biting his lower lip as you tug it, a silent pleading for him to move faster. He chuckles at your impatience.
“Always rushing, princess. I’m not going anywhere.” His tongue skillfully breaking into your mouth, dominating the kiss. You let him. Your hand which was on his neck now grabbing his hair.
Feeling his soft hair through your fingers before you pulled them. He moaned into your mouth and he pulls away, bearing his neck to you as he lets his head thrown back gravitating to your pull. Eyes closed and he looks like he’s high on ecstasy named you. “Ahhh princess-”
“Shh! Keep it down.” You immediately leaving marks on his neck and noticing the position is making you uncomfortable, you pushed him until he lays on his back. Straddling his lap, you dive back to his neck, continuing the abuse.
Jungkook can’t keep his hands to himself as he quickly pulling up your shirt with struggle as you’re both are chest to chest. He rested his palm on your belly before grabbing your breast. He kneads the soft flesh and it illicit another moan from you. What a sight for Jungkook. You arched your back and gasped at the feeling of his dick poking your ass. Hard. Shakily putting your hands on his chest, you grind on his dick.
Jungkook almost cum in his pajama pants at this feeling. The view of you getting off on his clothed member, is making him insane. Your hips moving forward and backward making a tasty fraction, it feels good but it is not enough.
You keep biting your lips until it becomes swollen, and he swears he can feel you soaking your panties already with the wet feeling he felt. “Come on baby, cum like this,” He commands with a deep voice.
“Nnggh- Kook, I can’t- need you” You scrunch your eyes and your movements is getting slower. You’re exhausted.
“Yes, you can. Come on baby, come on.” Jungkook gritted his teeth as he can feel your ass snug his dick perfectly. Noticing that your movement is getting faltered, he grips on your hips, and helps you picking up the pace. Surely will leave another bruising marks there. You whimper because the sensation is overwhelming.
Feeling the knot under your stomach is getting tighter and your pussy keeps on clenching on nothing. Only letting out more gush of slick.
"Ahh Kook, close! I’m cumin-” the knot snapped and all you can see is white. Your breathing is getting more erratic before you completely fell down to his chest. He rubs you back lovingly but his hard dick is still poking you.
Jungkook prioritize your desire first before his and he kisses your head softly. With limping hands you got up pressing his chest once again.
“Take it off, take it all off,” your fingers grabbing the hem of his shirt and pull the material off while he frantically pushing down his pants and his boxer. He helps you taking off your bra as well before he starts swirling his lips on your perk nipple.
A tug and you moan deliciously, he moves on to you other nipple, paying as much attention as he did with the first one. He throw off your pants and panties and god knows where they lands in this room.
Pulling you up, he leans on the headboard. He instantly plunged two fingers into your hole and you’re clenching so hard, making he whines. It’s starting to get hot and steamy as you two letting out breathy moan. Still straddling him, you blindly grab his dick with your hand, pumping it up and down.
“Enough, just wanna be inside you, now!” Jungkook aligned his member to your hole. Putting your hands on his shoulders, you slowly sinking down on him.
Choking and moan in unison as you both adjust to the position. With head thrown back, you sob because Jungkook is big and no matter how many times you fuck, it still feels like your first time.
Sensing your discomfort he stays still.
“Kook, why are you so big?” You’re mumbling incoherent words.
“Yeah? I’m big? Taking my cock so well. Fuck, baby, you’re so tight. Come on baby, bounce on my cock” he grunts as your walls keeps on fluttering. His rolling hips and his dirty talks are making you seeing stars. A whining mess and your cunt is clenching him like a vice.
“Stop clenching so hard baby, I might cum soon, we don’t want that, right?” he warns with a bite on your shoulders and he switches the position with you now laying on your back, dick still hard inside you.
He keeps up the pace and moaned so loud as he can see the way his dick pistons in and out of your pussy.
“Creamed so hard on my cock, baby, you’re so wonderful.” His hands on your waist with your heels digging his ass.
“Faster, faster. Please, please, please,” you’re chanting, ignoring that somebody might hear you because Jungkook is hitting it right.
The squeaking bed and the loud skin slap are echoing in the room.
So much of keeping quiet.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful. Baby, let’s have kids, huh. Let’s have them,” he spreads his palm on your lower belly. Already thinking you carrying a child, his child, how you would look like with a swollen belly.
Fuck, motherhood would look good you. With that thought he trusts harder and faster. You whine and scratch his back as the pace was intensified. Jungkook hiss on both sensation, the sting on his back and how your walls grip his dick tighter at the mention of having a kid.
“Yes, yes, yes. Let’s have a baby- nnnghh Kook, shit shit” Your body jolted when Jungkook suddenly flicks his thumb at your clit. Pushing you to the edge. And you trashed so wild under him as you feel your bliss is approaching.
“Cumming- Baby I’m cumming nghhh Kook, don’t stop” letting him know before you finally let go. Feeling buzzed as Jungkook keep on trusting in and out of you, dragging your high.
“Gonna cum in so deep, gonna make make you swole with a baby. Mine, mine, all mine” Jungkook chanted as his pace is getting sloppy, chasing his own high. Warm ribbons of cum spurted inside your pussy as you milk him dry.
The only sounds that you’re hearing right now is a buzzing, and how you two are breathing so heavily. He falls down next to you with his arm snaking around your waist. His breathing is fanning your neck before he left a kiss on your cheek. You're pushing his hair back from his sweaty forehead while he also helps you with your untangled hair.
“I’m serious,” Jungkook grabs your chin to make you look at him. Gone already the lust and the dark in his eyes, now replaced with pools of galaxies.
“About having a baby?" You asked.
"Yeah, me too,” you smile sweetly at him and he grins so wide, if you could list the most beautiful look on Jeon Jungkook’s face, one of it was when you said yes after he proposed. When you walked down the aisle, your first sex with him, and right now.
“Thank you, baby. You have no idea how happy I am right now,” he kisses your whole face.
“I thought you don’t want kids yet, since, well, since we never really discuss about it seriously.” You said softly, putting your head on his chest with finger tracing the skin. In contrast to your heated session, after sex is always soft and calm.
“You silly, of course I want them. I thought you’re the one who is not ready yet, because yea, I never wear condom whenever we made love, but you’re always on the pills, so I assumed you don’t want one, yet, and I also don’t wanna push you,” he whispers softly. You sigh, the way he uses the words “made love” and not sex. Instead of ‘let’s fuck’ it’s ‘let me love you’, and how can you not keep falling for this man. He is disgustingly nerdy and sweet and lovely.
“I will consult my doctor for the pills and we start from there okay?” You glance up, making a promise to him and he nods excitedly like a child.
“Come on up, pee-pee first. Always pee after love making.” Jungkook patted on your bare ass before he got up to carry you to the bathroom.
Usually you’re woken up everyday to a big pair of warm hands rubbing circles either on your back or on your belly. Some mornings, the same hands just played with your head, the long fingers ran through the hair with a little pressure. Massaging the scalp. Some mornings, the hands get extra playful when they tickled your nose, your neck, your waist, poking the inside of your ears or pinched your cheeks.
These assaults always resulted in the owner of the hands winning. How can you beat the strength of a man with doe eyes, silly bunny grins and his boyish laugh?
His laugh booming in the room like a heavenly sound. But today, you woke up on your own. No hands. No head massage. No tickles.
Where is your husband? Is he showering? There’s no sound of water hitting the tiles. His phone is still charging by the bedside, he never let go of his phone. Strange.
You freshened up before you leave the room to check on grandmama. But she’s not in her room too, well, considering the time and she’s an early riser, she’s probably somewhere around the house anyway.
Just as you thought you were left alone, you heard a very familiar giggles. They come from the outside of the house, and your feet are following the sounds.
A smile adorns on your face as you can see the backs of the most important people in your life sitting side by side. Both of them are facing the backyard garden.
You come closer and you can clearly see her wrinkled hands on top of his. He pulled his head back and laughing like a little kid, while she held onto his hands lovingly. Her laugh, though soft, can be heard along with his.
You wanted to soak this moment in your brain so you could remember this for years and years. How the morning sunshine makes everything more picturesque, how his broad shoulders shakes when he laughs, how she leans on a chair, as old as she is.
Her brown chair, bought along with his husband’s big chair. The spot which was left empty ever since he passed away, and you wonder how lonely it is for her to be sitting there alone every morning and every evening.
You stood silently by the sliding door, not wanting to break the moment as so many sentimental memories flooding your mind.
“Hey, babe? Good morning,” said the man as he turns around to face you. Wide smile on his face, post-laughing puffy cheeks.
“Good morning, Lilo” said another voice as she struggles to turn around. You don’t want her to strain her back so you immediately move to sit next to her legs. Kneeling closer like you always did, like a little girl listening to her favorite stories, you place your palm on her knees.
“Good morning, Grandmama. You had a good sleep?” Still not used to speaking louder to her. Brushing your hair she smiles fondly, “yes, yes”
“Where’s my good morning?” Pouted the man next to her.
“Yes, Jungkook. Good morning to you too,” you roll your eyes playfully.
If it’s not Grandmama’s hands holding him, Jungkook would have touched you, peppering you with kisses because it is his morning routine.
But he woke up early today, because he guessed Grandmama is already up and he wanted to spend time with her. He was right, the moment he stepped out of the room, Grandmama was walking slowly to the chair outside of the house.
The lady who Jungkook assumed as the maid which Suri told you about last night, is plating a tray of toast and tea for her.
Jungkook moves to help Grandmama settles on her chair before she insisted him to sit next to her.
“That’s Grandpapa’s chair.” You jutting your chin at him, whispering but he can still hear you.
“Really?” Jungkook flustered because Grandmama really insisted him to sit on it and now knowing that this seat belongs to Grandpapa, he feels even more honored.
“What are you two laughing about just now?” You glanced up to face your grandma with big eyes. Grandmama just chuckles and you can see your husband is biting his lips trying to hold back his laughter.
“Just, reminiscing old memories, sweetheart,” Grandmama replied.
“Apparently, someone really hates wearing pants since she was a little girl. Humm, Grandmama did you know she still refuses to wear pants sometimes?” Jungkook leans closer to Grandmama’s ears as if they both are sharing some secrets. Pretending that you’re not even there.
With shocking wide eyes and gaping mouth, you knew exactly who is that little girl. It’s you. Grandmama just told Jungkook about your unhealthy habit, great, now Jeon Jungkook can collect another material into his teasing box.
“Did not!” You gasp and giving your Grandmama a betrayal look.
“What was she’s like back then? Running around naked? She’s a wild one isn’t she?” Both of them are ignoring you and Jungkook keep on firing questions to Grandmama.
You’re pretty sure the blush on your cheeks are from controlling the anger you have towards your husband right now. Definitely not because of embarrassing. Nope.
Seeing Grandmama laughing at both of you is making your heart swell. Your eyes land on her hands that has been holding Jungkook’s ever since you saw them. You were worried for nothing, and guilt is starting to creep on you as you were initially do not plan on bringing Jungkook along.
Because first, you’re worried for him. Jungkook is not used to your family which is again, your fault. You didn’t properly introduce him to your family, not traditionally-proper. It’s not like you’re breaking the norms or rebelling or anything. It’s just you don’t feel that is necessary.
As long as you love each other, that’s all that matters. But you worried nevertheless. Worried they might not include him, what if Jungkook is uncomfortable because, dear god, Jungkook will never let you know if he’s feeling bothered. Very much like you, now taste your own medicine.
Secondly, it’s Grandmama, she has never met Jungkook, and yes, she is lovely but what if she suddenly doesn’t approve of him? That would break his heart.
Now you realize that you’re worried for nothing, everyone loves him. How can they not?
“I wanna take a short nap, you two can stay here.” Your Grandmama reaches for her cane as her wobbly legs trying to stand up. The maid rushed out to help her before Jungkook was about to carry her himself.
“You don’t have to carry and old lady like me, just carry your wife,” your Grandmama chuckles as she slowly walks back to her room.
Jungkook rubs the back of his neck and sigh, he doesn’t mind carrying Grandmama. He once saw his dad carried his grandma on his back and he wanted to do that too. Shifting his gaze back on you who is still staring at him.
“Hey, the girl who hates pants,” Jungkook smirks cheekily. Here comes your Jungkook. “Wow I have no idea you hate pants. No wonder you don’t wanna wear one all the time. Oh wow,” he faked gasp at the fact. Mocking you.
“I will burn all of your pants the moment we got back, Kook,” words are seething through your teeth as you faked threatening him.
“I don’t mind that, we can be pant-less together,” Jungkook leans back to the chair as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath of the morning air.
You're sitting next to him, only managed to stare at his beauty.
“Stop staring and come closer, please. I’m yours, you can touch me.” He said. Of course he caught you staring at him.
“I didn’t stare!” You blush.
“Put your head on my shoulder. Let me bask in this glory morning with my wife,” Jungkook speaks softly as he pulls your head closer to his shoulder. And you let him.
Feeling his steady breathing, cold cups of tea, half eaten toast, his humming of an unknown song, his hands on top of yours, a kiss on your head, and you really deeply seriously madly in love with this man.
“By the way, Grandmama heard us last night, she said good job and she wants to see great-grandchildren real soon,” Jungkook said in a monotonous voice as if it’s nothing.
Well, shit.
#jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook fic#jungkook imagines#jeon jungkook x reader#bts jungkook#bts x reader#bts fanfic#jungkook fluff#jungkook smut#marriage au#husband!jk
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i hate the weird spot i have been when it comes about writing for the past months
#or maybe even a year at this point idfk. i cannot. write. or at least not multichaptered. i want to create an ongoing story#and write chapters and post them and shit!! but my motivation decays super fast regardless of how excited i am to write it.#i legit think is the reason i draw so much--- i have the need to create and a drawing tends to take me two hours and so. maybe three.#obviously it depends on the drawing but. that's the average. writing a single chapter can take me a week; or a long-ish one at least#there's another factor: i don't know who to write about. i try to resign myself to write fanfiction but it does not sparks joy anymore#*sometimes* it does tho. like the dumb wuthering heights saiou au i had in mind; it is fun to think about it.#but rn i have one plot i really like and i'm kind of. this does not fits any of my existing ocs either. what i am supposed to do with this.#and another one with elliot and a guy i created specifically for that story#because i resigned myself i don't have any existing characters to fit that role so i created some guy nate/devlin (name still pending)#but also. my own characters don't spark joy too unless i post it on discord or show it to friends bc nobody on my main platform cares.#and yes this is something i need to work on i'm going to therapy for that but i live off validation#and if people don't pay attention to my shit then i immediately lose motivation and i don't continue with it anymore#like; the one samael/mav story i was so excited to write about. nobody paid attention to it; so i shoved it to drafts#and didn't type a single word again. meanwhile i see the easy way to get attention is writing sa10u rn but. i don't want to.#i see people voting and commenting on my fics of these two and i try to think 'ok that's what people like i HAVE to write about them'#and maybe get a bit of faux-motivation but if i try to do it i end up unmotivated because. that's not what i want actually. so. i die.#negative#very fitting with my pfp
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Part 7, the final comic in my SIGN OF THE FOUR chapter. (Part one), (part two), (part three), (part four), (part five), (part six).
The context for this conversation is: Holmes has had no work from Scotland Yard due to rumors about his and Watson's relationship. He responded to this with excessive cocaine use and then working himself unhealthy on the one case that came along; Mary Morstan's. Meanwhile, Watson befriended Mary, who is also gay, and realized that a lavender marriage with her could make him and Holmes safe, as well as granting her more freedom. Watson has not yet told Holmes of his decision.
(This is part of the Watsons sketchbook series!)
canon scene under the cut, which is achingly poignant in its own right:
“Well, and there is the end of our little drama,” I remarked, after we had set some time smoking in silence. “I fear that it may be the last investigation in which I shall have the chance of studying your methods. Miss Morstan has done me the honour to accept me as a husband in prospective.”
He gave a most dismal groan. “I feared as much,” said he. “I really cannot congratulate you.”
I was a little hurt. “Have you any reason to be dissatisfied with my choice?” I asked.
“Not at all. I think she is one of the most charming young ladies I ever met, and might have been most useful in such work as we have been doing. She had a decided genius that way: witness the way in which she preserved that Agra plan from all the other papers of her father. But love is an emotional thing, and whatever is emotional is opposed to that true cold reason which I place above all things. I should never marry myself, lest I bias my judgment.”
“I trust,” said I, laughing, “that my judgment may survive the ordeal. But you look weary.”
“Yes, the reaction is already upon me. I shall be as limp as a rag for a week.”
“Strange,” said I, “how terms of what in another man I should call laziness alternate with your fits of splendid energy and vigour.”
“Yes,” he answered, “there are in me the makings of a very fine loafer and also of a pretty spry sort of fellow. I often think of those lines of old Goethe,—
Schade dass die Natur nur einen Mensch aus Dir schuf, Denn zum würdigen Mann war und zum Schelmen der Stoff.
“By the way, à propos of this Norwood business, you see that they had, as I surmised, a confederate in the house, who could be none other than Lal Rao, the butler: so Jones actually has the undivided honour of having caught one fish in his great haul.”
“The division seems rather unfair,” I remarked. “You have done all the work in this business. I get a wife out of it, Jones gets the credit, pray what remains for you?”
“For me,” said Sherlock Holmes, “there still remains the cocaine-bottle.” And he stretched his long white hand up for it.
#“whatever is emotional is opposed to that true cold reason which I place above all things”#things you say when you are NOT UPSET AT ALL NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST#watsons sketchbook#my art#sherlock holmes#acd holmes#john watson#drugs cw
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