#still waiting for my physical copy of the book to arrive

[peach-nii]

you guys ever heard of the man that was invisible

[wolvertooth]

i finished reading the team x novel and it was just 'he would not fucking say that' and 'i am not reading all of that' and 'WHY THE FUCK DID HE SAY THAT' and 'shut the fuck UP about military shit ohhh my god' and 'mystique would absolutely say that go off queen'

[headcaasefiction]

Kinktober 2024

Day 4: Humiliation/Praise

(Dracule Mihawk/AFAB!Reader)

Minors Do Not Interact

Rating: Explicit 18+

Word Count: 12,350

Summary: Y/N is a student at Dracule Mihawk’s academy for swordsmen, and harbors a massive crush on him. She is a teacher’s pet, his star pupil, and she would do anything for him. Things become heated when Mihawk begins to push and test her limits, both publicly and privately.

Warnings: Non-negotiated Kink, Masturbation, Vaginal Fingering, DubCon, Student/Teacher relationship, Drinking, Vaginal Sex, Cunnilingus, Mentions of Anal, Spanking, Sir Kink, Dominant/Submissive, Biting/Marking, Pet Names.

Author’s Note: Well…October has been kicking my ass. I had so many fics planned for Kinktober (I still do, they will get written eventually, just not all in October) and then I got sick. Then this one completely got away from me, it’s twice as long as I ever intended it to be. I also know that it’s not the 4th, but this was the 4th prompt on my Kinktober list, so I’m not going to worry about the dates lining up. Anyway, I hope this 12,000+ word fic makes up for my absence lately. I love you all and hope you enjoy!

You have been a pupil of Mihawk’s Academy for just over a year now. There is yourself, and fourteen other students who live with him in his castle on the grounds of Gloom island, all learning the art of Swordsmanship together.

Mihawk is a brutal master, who expects nothing less than complete and utter devotion, discipline, and concentration from every single one of his students. At the beginning of the year there had been twenty in the group, now only fifteen remain. The others either left on their own accord, or at the very worst, were personally cast out by Mihawk himself.

You swore you would see your training to the very end, no matter how many years or even decades it took, swore you would stop at nothing in order to be his most dedicated student.

Every day you wake before the crack of dawn; you clean and nourish yourself, perform your warm up exercises, clean your sword, and then wait patiently at the training grounds with a copy of a book you have previously seen him read. Every day, you are the very first to arrive, and the last to leave every training session.

All of your fellow swordsmen tend to poke fun at you for your rigid regime, especially because you know you are not the strongest pupil at the academy. You rely more on defense, your offense lacking brute strength, but making up for it with how physically fast and quick-witted you can be during sparring matches.

Above all else, they call you a teacher’s pet. Though that’s very easy to tell, seeing as you hang onto Mihawk’s every word, are the first to volunteer for any new exercises or demonstrations, and meticulously practice the routines and techniques until you can’t physically hold your sword any longer.

A few, who you do consider to be your friends, have even figured you out.

“You like him, don’t you?” Maryelle had asked you one night, with a playful gleam in her eye, causing your cheeks to burn a deep shade of crimson red, “Look, I get it. He’s sexy in a scary kind of way.”

Your other friend, Hari piped in as well, “I guess that’s why I don’t get it,” he shrugged, “He’s such a stoic hardass. Yeah, he’s the world’s greatest swordsman, and a good teacher, but he freaks me out.”

You had laughed, still a bit embarrassed, but you admitted, “A little, but I also think he’s brilliant, and beautiful…”

It is the highlight of your entire week if he even casts a spare glance your way, those piercing golden eyes sending shivers up your spine… but during one session, just a week ago, he did something that you’re pretty sure made your entire year:

While he was wandering the training grounds, watching each student practice the new blade technique he had just taught, he paused to observe you. You held your gaze straight forward, trying to pretend like he wasn’t there, just focusing on controlling your legs, arms, and sword down to the smallest detail. After you completed the movements several times, he approached you, getting so close you could feel his warm breath tickle the shell of your ear, as he lowly whispered, “Good girl.”

He walked away as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. The interaction left you stunned, breathless, with an ocean of heat roaring in your blood.

That night you touched yourself; rubbing your clit and stuffing as many of your fingers in your wet, greedy cunt as you could manage. You imagined he was at the foot of your bed, lounging in a chair, arms and legs crossed, glowing eyes gazing at you as he told you, “Good girl…now cum for me.”

The next day, you were noticeably distracted. Instead of listening intently to the lecture Mihawk was giving, you were paying far much more attention to the color and fullness of his lips, the sharp, devilishly handsome angle of his jaw and cheek bones, the firm tautness of his bare chest and abdomen, and how his tall, broad figure would look leaning over you as he thrust into your –

“Y/N.”

His booming voice had violently snatched you out of your daydream, leaving you dazed and horrified as you noticed that every single one of your classmates’ eyes were focused on you. Your entire body flushed, and you could’ve sworn that the tips of your ears were burning off.

“Y-yes, Sir?”

“Would you be so kind as to demonstrate the shikake-waza and oji-waza I described at the beginning of the lesson?”

You had no idea what he was talking about, not a single clue. His eyes were burning holes into you with unblinking, direct contact. The courtyard was completely silent, except for the faint sounds of birds chirping in the trees. You felt as though you would be crushed under the unbearable weight of the shocked expressions of your peers as you sheepishly stuttered your answer, “I-I can’t, Sir. I do not know them…”

“Were you or were you not standing there as I myself, demonstrated them this morning?”

You were so embarrassed you thought you might faint, you bit your lip before responding, “Yes, I was standing right here.”

He stalked towards you, leaning down just inches from your face, “No point in coming so early if you can’t even bother to pay attention. No one likes a performer, Y/N.”

With that he turned on his heel and walked back to the center of the courtyard, leaving you trembling, and nearly in tears. The hushed whispers of your fellow pupils ringing in your ears as the lesson continued on, Mihawk calling on another student to perform what you could not.

The following days after, you were determined to get back in his good graces. He had been impressed with you before, had called you a good girl, and you refused to let one slip up ruin everything you had worked so hard for. But that was proving to be more of a challenge than you previously thought.

Throughout the rest of the week you seemed to have a target on your back, and Mihawk’s hawk-eyes were completely locked in on it. No matter how hard you tried, nothing you did was good enough for him. Your stance was lousy, your posture was poor, your movements too slow, your techniques not accurate, your sword not sharp enough. The list continued, with every single criticism said loudly, and within earshot for the entirety of your peer group to hear.

“Y/N, what did you do to piss him off so badly?” Maryelle had asked, brow furrowed with concern, “I’ve never seen him be this hard on someone before… do you think he’s going to throw you out of the academy?”

You shook your head, feeling defeated. You were exhausted, both physically and emotionally, “I really don’t know… I didn’t mean to zone out at the beginning of the week, I’ve just had a lot on my mind I guess.”

Hari patted you on the shoulder, and with a surprisingly sympathetic tone, he said, “I doubt he’s going to kick you out, he probably would’ve already done that by now. Maybe he’s just pushing you super hard so you unleash your true potential or something.”

“You’re probably right. I can’t afford to slack for even a moment, I know I can do better.”

“Soo…do you still have a crush on him then?” Maryelle teased, poking you in the side.

“Shut up,” you grinned, your cheeks glowing a light pink as you gently shoved her by the shoulder.

That had made you feel a little better, kept your spirits up and reignited your will power. You were going to impress him and show your worth even if it fucking killed you.

Training was still extraordinarily tough though, and it was well established at this point that Mihawk was picking on you in front of everyone when he forced you to spar with five of your classmates in a row one morning.

You panted hard as your chest heaved with exertion; heart beating in your throat, hair wild and dripping with sweat, and more than a few cuts and bruises littered your skin.

“Again.” He demanded, motioning at another student to come forward.

Your fellow pupil looked more than a little concerned, hesitantly glancing between you and Mihawk before taking her stance, sword in hand. Even out of concern for your safety, no one was willing to challenge the teachings of their master.

Without another word you lunged forward, swords clashing as you tried to dive in between her waist and arm to twist the blade from her grasp. It was an attempt to end the fight as quickly as possible, as you were not sure how much longer you could last. But you failed the disarm, her hand hooking under your armpit and flinging you over her shoulder before throwing you to the ground, knocking the wind out of you.

You groaned in pain, struggling to get air into your constricted lungs, while little black spots dipped in and out of your vision, one hand blindly groping the ground for your sword that you could not find.

Suddenly Mihawk was looming over you, tall, broad, and terrifying, almost how he looked in your nighttime fantasies and daydreams. Your sword was gripped in his hand, and he had a stern and disappointed look that shadowed over his face. He tsked at you, bringing the tip of your blade to your chin to slightly lift your head up towards him.

“Is that all you have left in you?”

You bit your lip, chest still heaving to catch your breath, fingers gripped tight in the grass beneath you as a single tear slid down the side of your face. You had no words, you just gently shook your head, and squeezed your eyes shut in defeat.

“Pity… go clean yourself up. Meet me in the ball room after lunch. Bring your sword.” He then drove your sword into the ground close by your shoulder, turned his back, and began to walk towards the castle, “Class dismissed.”

The rest of the students cleared out of the courtyard almost immediately, some gave you looks of pity, others completely ignored your pathetic, sprawled out body and rushed inside, grateful that they were not the object of Mihawk’s wrath.

Hari and Maryelle were the only ones that stayed behind with you, grabbing your sword and helping you to sit up as you began to sob. This was more than embarrassment, this had gone so much farther beyond that point now. You had never felt so utterly humiliated in your entire life, and now you had to face him alone later that afternoon.

Maryelle held you as you cried, arm wrapped tight around you as you limped and leaned against her back to your room, Hari carrying your sword for you with a hand softly placed on your back.

“He’s a prick, Y/N.”

“I know, I know,” you cried, sitting on the edge of your bed with your head in your hands, “I just want him to like me!”

Later that afternoon, after you cleaned yourself up, soaked your aching limbs in the tub, and bandaged your minor wounds, you joined Maryelle and Hari in the dining hall for lunch. When you entered, an uncomfortable silence hung in the room, followed by a surge of hushed tones and whispers as you walked to your seat.

Both Hari and Maryelle rolled their eyes as you sat down next to them, “Ignore them, they’re assholes.”

You began to pick at your food, trying your best to calm your frazzled nerves, “I know, they’re honestly the least of my worries right now.”

“…what do you think is going to happen?” Maryelle asked softly.

“I have no idea. He could throw me out, he could scream at me, he could fight me, he could kill me…”

Hari’s eyes went wide, and he grabbed your hand, “Y/N, he’s not going to kill you… everything is going to be okay.”

“I sure hope so.”

Once the clock in the dining room chimed 1:00, signaling the end of the lunch hour, you nervously made your way across the castle, and finally ended up outside the large and lavish doors of the ballroom. You had only ever been inside the room once, and it was back when it was your first day on the island. He had lined the entire class up and gave a speech about what he expected out of each and every one of you, how his word was law, and that you all would only be allowed to stay as long as he personally wanted you to.

Before grabbing the large brass handle, you hesitated, anxiety flooding your nervous-system, your pulse thumping in your ears. What if he was going to ask you to leave? And then tell you what a disappointment and waste of time you were all of these months?

Instead you shoved down the racing thoughts, gripped your sword tight, put on a brave face, and opened the door.

He was waiting for you on the far side of the room, seated in a plush red velvet and wood chair reading an old leather bound book.

“Come in.” He ordered, with a subtle flick of his hand, not even looking up from the page.

You closed the door behind you and walked toward him, posture straight, shoulders back as you held your head high, trying to act like you weren’t scared out of your wits. You stopped in front of him, crossing your arms behind your back to wait for further instructions.

After he finished reading his page he placed a bookmark to save his spot, and then he finally looked up at you, eyes as piercing and frightening as ever.

“Do you know why I asked you here today, Y/N?”

You tried to swallow a lump that suddenly formed in your throat, your mouth dry. You cleared your throat and spoke up, “B-because I was unable to finish my sparring match today?”

Mihawk closed his book and set it aside, rising from his seat to his full height to tower over you, and look you straight in the eyes, “No, not because of that.”

He stepped even closer, forcing you to crane your neck to hold his gaze, refusing to back down from the slight advance.

Your brows furrowed, your hands clenching and unclenching with a touch of nerves and confusion, “Do you… do you want me to fight you, Sir?”

It was nearly impossible to read the expression on his face most of the time, always so stoic, stern, and serious, so this time you were taken aback by the slight smirk that graced his face for a moment. He turned around, placing his hat on the same side table where he put his book, before walking over to a rack that held several variations of swords. He pondered them for a moment, then picked up a long, slender rapier, one that was quite similar to your own.

“You’re a good fighter, Y/N, but a sword fight would be very one-sided, I’m afraid.”

The way he put that was odd, you thought, while you watched him gracefully swish the sword in a sharp arch over his head, testing the balance of it.

“I’m sorry, Sir, I’m a little bit confused…”

Suddenly, without warning, he lunged at you; the tip of his blade piercing through the air at lightning speed, and it was like you were seeing it happen in slow motion. Without even thinking, you ducked out of the way, rolling back and to the side to create some distance between the two of you.

You leaped up onto your feet, extending your sword just above your head in time to parry his next attack, the clash of metal ringing throughout the room. He swung at you again, narrowly missing your shoulder as you spun around, twisting low to the ground to aim for his knee. He blocked that too, exerting his weight and tremendous strength through the blade, sending you sliding back on the marble floor onto your knees.

“Good, very good,” he drawled, standing up straight once more from his attack position, “Even quicker than this morning, I see.”

You breathed slowly, in through your nose and out of your mouth, trying your best to steady your heart-rate. He had truly taken you by surprise, and you were almost sure you would’ve been dealing with a rather painful puncture wound had you not stepped out of the way in time.

From your new position on the floor, you realized he had barely moved, but somehow had managed to get you to three separate points in the room, all within 10 to 15 feet of each other. Yet he just stood there, looking at the blade he held in his hands, as if he were bored.

That image of him lit a fire under your ass. He was just toying with you, toying with you like he had been doing all damn week, and he looked good while doing it. This stupid man, who was the object of your desire, who you gave up your entire life for to follow his teachings. This stupid man whose approval you craved more than anything else on earth, whose hypnotic voice had crippled your year long streak of concentration, and resolve with only two words. This man, who was so stupid, and tall, and handsome, and perfect and it made you want to scream.

In a sudden fit of rage, a pure lapse in judgement, you rose to your feet and ran at him full force. You darted your blade out forward, first to his right, then left, and up towards his neck while simultaneously crouching down to kick out your leg, a vain attempt to push him off balance. None of it worked; he blocked and out-maneuvered every single slash, blow, and limb that you swiped at him, while not even breaking a sweat.

With an angry shout, you rose your blade above your head to slash down at him one more time, a stupid, childish move that left you extremely open and vulnerable.

Before you even knew it, he parried you, knocking your sword straight from your grasp, causing it to scatter across the room. Then with another sudden movement, he snatched both of your wrists up in one of his large hands, shoved you against the nearest wall, and pinned them above your head.

You expected him to point his blade at your throat, demand that you beg to stay, or possibly tell you to pack your things and get the hell out before he decided to kill you. But he said no such thing, instead he just ended up surprising you again.

“I think that’s quite enough of that,” he said calmly, setting the sword aside to lean on a nearby bookshelf while one of his knees slid between your legs, making your eyes go wide.

Heat shot through you, sparks of pleasure licking up your insides as he gazed down at you. He was close, so close you knew he could see the deep blush that covered your face and neck; so close that he could see your dilated pupils, blown wide with desperate need.

You panicked, attempting to free your arms and squirm away from him before he could figure out how your body was reacting. But it was no use, his grip was too strong, and his other free hand rested on the wall by your waist. He had caged you in, leaving you completely open to him with nowhere to run to or hide.

“Sir p-please, I’m sorry… I – please don’t make me leave…”

And just when you thought nothing else could shock you anymore, once again you were wrong. Dracule Mihawk smiled at you; a teasing, condescending smile, but a smile none the less, as he inched his knee even further between your legs, “Why would I make you leave when I have you exactly where I want you?”

You were at a loss for words, only an involuntary whimper fell from your lips as you went slack, surrendering all will to his control, ready for whatever he was going to do to you.

“You’re one of my star pupils, Y/N,” he whispered, his breath ghosting over your collarbone, leaving goosebumps in their wake, “Your devotion and dedication have not gone unnoticed this past year.”

It felt like your entire body was vibrating on a molecular level, little bursts of heat rolling through your stomach, making your clit throb, aching to be touched. Your eyes fluttered shut, burning every single detail of this moment into your memory.

He pressed himself fully against you, making you gasp as his lips brushed the shell of your ear, “But you can’t scrape by on book smarts and quick reflexes alone. I expect great things of my favorite student.”

You looked up at him, eyes half-lidded, feeling punch drunk and dizzy from his close proximity, “I’m your…favorite?”

In response he smirked at you, his hand finding your waist, thumb grazing over your hipbone, “I know I’ve been cruel this week, but I cannot let the others suspect my favoritism. Let’s keep this between us, yes?”

You nodded dreamily at him as soft shivers tingled under your skin where he touched you, your fingers twitching slightly in his grip, “Y-yes, Sir. I promise I won’t tell anybody.”

“Good girl…” He breathed, and that almost made you cum right then and there. Instead, you bit your lip, trying to stifle the small whimper that poured from your lips.

Finally, he released your hands, causing them to drop weakly to your sides; your knees almost buckling beneath you as he backed away.

“Your training will only get more difficult from here on out, expect to be on your guard at all times now. I don’t want you getting too comfortable.”

He left you dazed as you leaned against the wall, trying to get your bearings while he sat back down in his chair to continue reading his book.

“That is all, Y/N. You are excused.” He said with another wave of his hand, as if your interaction had never even occurred.

With a weak nod you pushed yourself from the wall, your knees still quivering with excitement as you walked past him, picked up your sword, and gently closed the doors behind you.

“Sooo, what happened?” Maryelle had asked as soon as she saw you wandering the corridors hours later, “Are you okay?”

All you could do was shrug, with a gentle shake to your head, attempting to be as nonchalant as possible, “Nothing, we just talked.”

“You just-…you just talked?”

“Yup… we just talked.”

You avoided anyone else for the rest of the day, opting to hike up the hills and train by yourself to relieve your confusion and pent-up frustrations. Later that night, as you got ready for bed, you touched yourself in the shower, biting your wrist while you whimpered and moaned his name, pretending your fingers were his fucking into you while he had you trapped against the wall, fingertips torturing your clit.

The memory of his warm breath tickling your neck, and firm body pressed against yours lulled you to sleep, with those two words echoing in your mind, “Good girl…”

It was finally the end of the long, tortuous week you had endured. As usual, you got up and performed your morning rituals, reading in the courtyard of the training grounds as your peers began trickling in to join you. But much to your and your classmates’ surprise, instead of the normal training session with Mihawk, he announced that he would be going on an excursion for the next week. It had been months since any of you had gotten a break, and he made it a point to tell everyone to actually enjoy the time off.

“My presence is requested by orders of the World Government, which means I will take leave for a week. I suggest you all continue your training on an individual level, but also request that you relax your bodies and minds. One cannot remain sharp without easing one’s troubles every now and then. I only ask that you do not burn the castle to the ground. Anything out of place upon my return, and well…let’s not find out what I would have in store for you all. Class excused.”

As soon as Mihawk left the courtyard, with a swoop of his long coat, and the shadow of his tall figure disappearing down one of the corridors, the entire class bursts out in celebration. Some jumping up and down, cheering and yelling, others immediately beginning to plan for a party and dinner.

Hari and Maryelle come up to you, beaming with excitement.

“A whole week, Y/N can you believe it?!” Maryelle gushes, grabbing your hand to walk along with them, “At least you’ll get a break from his royal jerkiness, yeah?”

“And there’s already a big dinner party being planned for tonight, you’re coming right?” Hari asks.

You were excited to spend more time with your friends, and after the hellish week you had just gone through, you were grateful for some time off, some relief. Yet, you couldn’t help but feel disappointed that you wouldn’t be seeing Mihawk for an entire week, especially after the tantalizing moment you shared with each other in the ballroom yesterday.

With a forced smile you squeeze Maryelle’s hand and wrap your arm around Hari’s shoulders, trying to cover up your disappointment, “Of course I’ll be there! How about we hit the wine cellar as well? I doubt he’ll miss a few of the not-so-vintage bottles.”

They both grin deviously, clapping you on the back, “Now that’s what I’m talking about, you deserve to let loose a little. Maybe we can even find someone to take your mind off that lousy Hawk-eye.”

You roll your eyes, the three of you following the stream of people back into the castle, a glint of knowing in your eye, “You can try, but I doubt it.”

It was now several hours into the evening festivities, Mihawk has only been gone half the day and already the entire class has taken over the dining hall and common room. A few people have even found a set of instruments and are busy keeping a small group dancing. Some are scattered in small circles drunkenly chatting away, others off in pairs, shamelessly making out in the darkened corners of the room, or sneaking away to the dorms for a quickie.

At the beginning of the night you had been glued to Hari and Maryelle’s side, but as the three of you continued to down glass after glass of the rich red wine Mihawk kept the castle stocked with, you could tell that your presence was getting in the way of their drunken flirting. So you left them sitting together on a couch, Maryelle halfway in Hari’s lap.

You pick up your wine glass and make your way back to the kitchen, searching for an unopened bottle to nurse for the rest of the night.

“May I tempt you?” You hear a low voice ask you from behind.

You turn around, and are met with one of your classmates named Raegan, a tall, blond, decently handsome, and talented swordsman you have sparred with on a few occasions. He’s uncorking a bottle, and smiling down at you as he gestures toward your empty glass.

“Oh please! Thank you.” You smile at him, a slight blush on your cheeks as you give him a once over while he pours you a hefty glass.

“Are you enjoying the night, Y/N?” Raegan questions, tone calming and polite, and thankfully not overly intoxicated like almost everyone else.

“I am!” You nod, taking a sip of your wine, “It’s been one hell of a week, so I’m glad we can all relax for a while. Plus it’s so nice to casually socialize, it seems like the only thing we ever talk about is training.”

“I agree with you there,” he laughs softly, leaning closer to you, “Well, you deserve a break after the hard time he’s been giving you recently. I’m assuming everything went okay when you saw him after lunch? A lot of us we pretty worried about you.”

Your heart-rate elevates slightly at the mention of yesterday’s meeting with Mihawk, your cheeks turning an even darker shade of red as you try to push the memories to the back of your mind.

“Y-yes, it went fine. We just had a talk is all, about-… about me making sure I’m living up to my potential,” you stammer, a little flustered.

Raegan leans down, looking closely at your face while he presses the back of his hand to your forehead, “Are you feeling alright? You’re looking a little red, and you feel warm.”

The gentle gesture catches you off guard, causing a small swarm of butterflies to flutter in your stomach for a moment. You’re flattered by his concern, and it has been such a long time since you’ve allowed yourself to freely flirt with anybody, that you forget about your unrequited crush on your teacher for just a moment. So much of your attention has been focused on Mihawk that you forgot to look that way at anyone else.

“Yeah, I’m fine…it’s just the-…it’s just the wine is all.” You giggle as his hand leaves your forehead, fingertips ghosting down the side of your face as he pulls away.

He smiles at you again, picking up the bottle while he nods toward the common room, “Good. Care to sit and finish this off with me then? I’d love your company.”

“Absolutely.”

He leads you out of the kitchen, and you find an unoccupied couch in a back corner, where you can actually hear each other talk.

As the night continues on, and the warm intoxication from the wine begins to settle in, you notice that you have been inching closer and closer to Raegan for the last half hour. Your thighs pressed flush against one another as you flirt shamelessly, touching his leg when you laugh at one of his jokes.

The wine continues to feed your courage, and you find yourself almost half in his lap, his large hand finally settling on your thigh, giving it a warm squeeze.

“I’m glad this happened tonight,” he says, his thumb rubbing back and forth on your inner thigh, “I’ve always wanted to talk to you more, but you’re always so concentrated on training… I never thought someone like you would ever give me the time of day.”

You blush, softly tracing the back of his hand with your fingertips, “I get a little lost in it sometimes… what do you mean someone like me?”

“Someone so dedicated, so humble, and talented…” he leans over and murmurs in your ear, causing a shiver of excitement to run down your spine, and a stirring of butterflies in your tummy, “Someone so absolutely gorgeous.”

You sigh, heart fluttering, Fuck it’s been so long, I need this… His face is so close to yours, shadowed with an intense longing, his gaze looking down from your eyes to your lips. He cradles your jaw in his hand, his thumb swiping over your bottom lip before his eyes flutter shut and he guides his lips to yours.

You sink into the kiss for a moment, your hands gripping at his shirt as your body screams at you for more. But after a few moments you break away, a sudden odd feeling washing over you as Mihawk’s face flashes in your mind.

“I-I’m so-so sorry, Raegan I -,” You stammer, feeling confused and flustered while you gently push at his chest to create some distance.

He looks a little hurt, but mostly concerned as he immediately stops touching you, “It’s okay, really Y/N, I came on a little too strong – …”

“I just need to get some air real quick, okay?” You pick yourself up off the couch and begin to retreat to the hallway, “I’m just going to use the restroom, I’ll be right back.”

Without waiting to hear his reply you stumble out of the common room, away from his sincere eyes and warm touches, feeling a little queasy as you head toward the restroom. There’s a weird pit in the center of your stomach now where pleasure used to be, and you can’t help but feel as if you’ve somehow done something wrong.

Get a grip… you mutter to yourself while you enter the washroom, looking at your reflection for a moment; lips plump from kissing, hair a little wild from where he ran his fingers through it, and cheeks tinged a rosy-pink, both from your excitement and the amount of wine you have consumed.

You relieve yourself and wash up, trying your best to empty your mind. Mihawk wasn’t here, and there was nothing between the two of you anyway. On the other hand, there was a hot, sweet, guy your age in the other room who seemed more than interested in fucking you tonight, and you have every right to indulge in that.

I expect great things of my favorite student… his voice lingers in your memory, and you shake it away as you splash cool water on your face to calm your nerves, before drying your hands and heading back through the corridor.

It’s well into the night, and only a faint trace of light illuminates the dark hallways; a hint of moonlight shining through the windows, and a very distant orange glow from the candles lit in the dining room.

You don’t realize how drunk you are until you’ve left the bathroom, the buzz dulling your vision and coordination as your hand slides against the wall for support. Carefully, you put one foot in front of the other, trying to concentrate on not stubbing your toe or knocking something over.

All of a sudden you feel a shiver go up your spine as a shadow moves out of the corner of your eye, startling you. You spin around, scanning the darkened space in a panic, expecting to have stumbled upon one of your classmates, but no one is there.

With your brow furrowed in confusion, deciding that it was just a trick of the light along with your inebriation, you turn back around to continue forward.

That’s when you feel an arm circle around your waist, pinning your arms to your sides, and a hand grip tightly over your mouth.

Your eyes go wide and you try to scream, but the air is squeezed out of you when you are pulled further back into the hallway; the faint noise you squeak out muffled behind their palm, the heels of your boots dragging silently across the carpet.

Whoever has a hold of you is significantly taller and stronger than you, your struggles doing absolutely nothing against their sheer size and brute strength. Your mind goes into panic mode, the weight of drunkenness slowing your reflexes and sapping away your energy, all ounce of your training gone as you squirm in their arms helplessly.

“My, my, what do we have here? Has a little rabbit lost it’s way?” A deep voice teases, tightening their grip around you more to get you to stop wiggling, “I’d be careful with how you move, little one, I might not be able to control myself,” he purrs into your ear, pressing his pelvis into your ass.

You can feel the bulge in his pants harden as he grinds into you. Heat rushes into your cheeks, flooding through your veins as you whimper into his hand, terrified and turned on at the same time.

“Lucky me, it seems like my little rabbit has had too much to drink,” he drawls in your ear, making your heart thump wildly in your chest, “Makes you nice and pliant for me, doesn’t it? So easy to take advantage.”

He finally removes his hand from your mouth to thread through your hair, forcing your head to the side so he can kiss and bite, sucking dark marks into the tender flesh of your neck.

You go slack in his arms, your strength depleted as you surrender to his will, “P-please, don’t… I-I have someone waiting for me, I won’t tell anyone…”

He licks the shell of your ear, pressing you firm between him and the wall, your back slightly arched, one of his feet kicking your legs a part, “Hmmm, and who would you even tell that would actually believe you?”

Nervously you swallow the lump in your throat in an attempt to sound normal, and not the mixture of scared, horny, and disoriented that you actually feel, “I would tell Sir Mihawk, he-he cares for me, he would believe me. So just let me go, and I promise not to tell him.”

“Is that so?”

To your surprise you are flipped around, your back hitting the wall with a dampened thud as your hands are pinned to either side of your head. In the darkness you see two golden orbs peering down at you, your vision adjusting to the faintly shadowed face of Mihawk.

“Sir?!” You exclaim, completely shocked, “But-but you said you were leaving-…”

“What did I tell you the other day, Y/N, hm?” His grip is tight against your wrists, and his sharp features look even more intimidating and angry in the shadows of the moonlight, “What did I make abundantly clear?”

You wrack your hazy mind for what he could be speaking of, but you can’t seem to think of it. All you can remember is how he felt against you, warm and firm and tantalizing, just as he does now, your body aching to be touched as he whispers to you Good girl, Good Girl, Good Girl…

You bite your lip and press your legs together in desperation, your fingers twitching while you whine, “I’m sorry, I don’t remember…”

“Forgotten already?” He sneers, with a sharp suck to his teeth, “How very disappointed I am in you, Y/N. I’m not gone for even a day and your discipline has completely slipped away. I told you, be on your guard at all times.”

Mentally you slap yourself and squeeze your eyes shut to avoid looking at him, shame sinking into your stomach.

“I warned you not to get too comfortable, that I expect better of you. But what do you do once my back is turned? Get drunk and prowl around looking to get fucked? You think I don’t know what is going on inside my own castle? I know Raegan is waiting for you, waiting to take you to his bed.”

Your eyes snap open wide as you shake your head, “No, no! He-he was nice to me, but nothing hap-…”

But he cuts you off again, and you could swear that he sounds jealous, “Is he the reason why I catch you daydreaming in the middle of training?”

He’s flush against you now, his knee pressed up in between your legs, making you gasp as it nudges your clit through your pants, soaking your panties. His eyes are piercing down at you through the dark, his warm breath ghosting over your lips, his mouth just inches from yours.

“No, Sir, not him. He’s not the one I’m thinking of…”

A moment passes and you see a light flash in his eyes, sudden and intrusive before his lips collide with yours, hungry, possessive, and raw. He nips your bottom lip, causing you to cry out at the sharp pain, silencing you with his tongue as it greedily licks into your mouth.

Pleasure sings through your body, his wicked lips leaving trails of electric ecstasy in their wake while he swallows every gasp and whimper you breathe into him, before finally pulling away.

One of his hands snatches both of your wrists, pinning them above your head while he trails kisses down your neck to your collar bone. His free hand reaches under your shirt to caress up your belly, before cupping one of your breasts in his hands, his thumb and forefinger tugging on the sensitive bud of your nipple.

A moan tears itself from your throat, and you bury your heated face into the side of your arm, embarrassed at how eagerly you are reacting to him, like melted putty in his hands.

He groans softly in response, nipping at your earlobe as his hand wanders further down, fingertips dipping below your waistband.

“Tell me no,” he murmurs, unbuttoning the fly of your pants, and inching down your lower stomach, “Tell me no and I’ll stop.”

The pad of his middle finger caresses you, glides along your slit and up to your aching clit, rubbing little circles through your soft, wet panties. Warmth pools in your tummy, throbbing down to your needy cunt as more slick dribbles out to trail down your quivering thighs.

You’re both staring at each other, half-lidded and slack-jawed, desperate for more as your breath mingles together while he teases you mercilessly.

Tell me no and I’ll stop…

But you don’t want him to stop, only want him to take it further; want him to rip your clothes off, dip his fingers inside, then fuck you so hard against the wall that the entire castle hears you cum on his cock.

The thought makes you ache as you whimper, “Mihawk.”

He smirks down at you, pleased with your reaction while he suddenly withdraws his hand from your pants, making you moan in frustration, “No wait, please don’t stop…”

Your hands are released when he kisses you once more, before backing away to give you space, leaving you wanting.

“I’m afraid our time is up for the night, little rabbit. Meet me in my quarters upstairs after sundown tomorrow, tell no one I am here. Do not be late.”

And just like that he melted into the shadows once more, gone just as fast as he had appeared to you. You have no idea how long you have been gone, the interaction feeling both lightning fast, but also like it had transpired over the course of hours, suspended in time.

Your fingertips brush over your tingling, kiss-swollen lips, the remnants of his touch lingering all along your body; yet being all alone in the dark made it almost feel like it was just a dream.

Slowly you pull yourself together, buttoning back up the front of your trousers and smoothing down your hair and blouse. You glide your hand along the wall again, faster this time since your eyes have adjusted to the darkness.

You walk back into the common room, surprised to see that the celebration has not died down yet, and that Raegan is still waiting for you on the same couch, nursing the same bottle of wine.

His eyes brighten a little when you sit down by him again, though this time you put a little distance between the two of you.

His expression is soft and full of concern as he says, “Hey, Y/N are you okay? I was just about to come looking for you.”

You smile and nod, raking your fingers through your hair a little nervously, “Yeah, I’m so sorry, I had way too much wine…look Raegan, I didn’t mean to - …”

He holds his hand up, cutting you off, “Y/N, I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I came on too strong. I just…I really like you.”

You’re flattered, truly you are, but after what just occurred you know there’s no possibility that anything could ever happen between the two of you now. Dracule Mihawk had laid a claim, and there was no way you could go back.

“Raegan, I like you too. You are gorgeous, seriously, and so sweet…but there is someone else, and that’s not going away any time soon.”

“I understand. They’re lucky whoever they are.”

You smile in response, picking yourself up from the couch once more, your buzz now fading into the realm of exhaustion, “I had a great time with you tonight, but I need to go to bed before I end up on the floor.”

He chuckles, holding his glass up in a toast while you begin to walk towards the doorway, “That’s where I plan on being at the end of the night. Goodnight, Y/N.”

The next day you wake up hung over, two hours past when you normally rise, regretting how much you drank the previous night. You make your way to bathroom, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you turn on the faucet and splash your face.

You look in the mirror, your eyes growing wide when you notice the dark red and purple marks littering up the side of your neck and spread down to the hollow of your collarbone. You groan in frustration, realizing you will have to wear turtle-neck shirts and scarves for the next week to avoid anyone seeing them.

The events of last night rush back through your memory, leaving you reeling. It had all seemed like one big magnificent dream, a perfect fantasy that your mind created. But the evidence is littered all over your skin, and in a moment of panic you remember that you promised to meet him later tonight.

What could he possibly want? Had last night been some sort of trick, some sort of test that you had possibly failed?

For the rest of the day you try your best to not agonize over what awaits you in Mihawk’s study tonight. You take an extra long bath, scrubbing away your hangover, and then sneak down to the dining hall for a late breakfast, with the hopes that you won’t run into anyone there. You’re in luck, as it seems all of your classmates are still sleeping off their night of debauchery.

You pack a small bag and head up to the hills behind the castle to be alone, where you read, eat toast and jam, and practice a little bit with your sword. Eventually the day has gotten away from you, and you are shocked when you realize that the sun will set in less than an hour.

Anxiety quickens your heart beat while you gather your things and make your way down to the castle again, admiring the sky bathing the island in reds, oranges, pinks and purples. You wish it wouldn’t end, because for all you know it could be the last time you see the sunset on Gloom island. For all you know you made a terrible mistake last night and he would be throwing you out.

You walk quickly through the hallways, avoiding every single person you pass until you get to your bedroom. You put your sword away in your closet, and give yourself a once over in the mirror. With a sigh you gather your courage, pushing down the mixture of fear and excitement that rolls in your stomach as you make your way up the stairs.

The last bit of light has faded beyond the horizon of the island, shadowing the castle in a dark, eerie blue that creeps in from the hallway windows of the upper floor. You had never been in any of the rooms up here before, everyone knew the top floor was out of bounds to the students, that it was all private to Mihawk.

At first you were not sure which door to knock on, seeing as he hadn’t been very specific. But that’s when you saw a faint strip of light glowing from under a massive set of ornately carved wooden doors.

Slowly you walk up to the doorway, your heart beating in your throat, palms sweaty from nerves. After a moment of hesitation, you squeeze your eyes shut and knock twice.

The light between the cracks of the doors flickers slightly before they open, revealing Mihawk’s piercing eyes staring down at you. He opens the door all the way once he sees that it’s you, and steps to the side to allow you in.

“Please, come in Y/N.”

You bow your head a little, ducking past him in an attempt to hide the blush that’s deepening across your cheeks, his eyes never leaving you. He closes the door behind you, making goosebumps erupt across your skin with a flash of excitement as he brushes behind your back momentarily, before walking over to a chair by his fireplace.

You look around the room, taking in how gorgeous it is. It’s just his style, all black and red velvet, lavish four post bed, intricate rugs and a large fireplace that lights the entire room a glow. It looks overwhelmingly romantic.

“Uhm, Sir?” You say, lacing and twiddling your fingers together nervously, “Did I…was last night some kind of test?”

There is a pause in the air while Mihawk pours himself a glass of wine, swirling and savoring it with a gentle sip, before his eyes lock onto yours, predatory and serious.

“A test? What kind of test would that be, hm?”

He moves toward you, slowly, his tall form casting a long shadow over you. You bite your lip, and inch back subconsciously, unable to look him in the eyes as he continues his advance.

“I-I’m not sure…” You mutter, glancing up to see him circle around you, “This past week has been so-so… confusing.”

He smirks down at you after taking another sip of his wine, nonchalantly swirling it, eyeing the red liquid as if bored; as if he had no clue how questionable and different your relationship had been lately.

“Whatever do you mean, Y/N? I think I’ve made my intentions abundantly clear.”

Your brows furrow together, and you wipe your perspiring hands against your shirt as he continues to circle you like a hawk, “You’ve been testing me, I’m sure of it…testing my will-power, my patience.”

Mihawk stops in his tracks behind you, and you feel an electric shock pulse up your spine when he caresses the back of your shoulders, making you gasp softly in surprise when he murmurs in your ear, “Is that so? Well then, how do you think you’re doing so far?”

You shiver, eyes fluttering while his fingertips continue their gentle exploration of your neck, hair, and shoulders, “You haven’t thrown me out yet… do you test all of your students this way?”

Your body goes lax when you feel his arms snake around your waist, pressing the front of his body to your back, his lips brushing along the shell of your ear, “No, just you… I knew you were special the moment I laid my eyes on you.”

You shut your eyes and bite your lip, your heart thumping so loud you can feel it in your ears. With a slight moment of hesitation you slowly bring your hand up behind you, and dare to run your fingers through his thick, dark hair. You hear him sigh, and his head relaxes on your shoulder as the two of you hold one another; but it doesn’t last long as he withdraws from you, wandering back over near the fireplace to sit in his black velvet chair.

His eyes are back on you with that predatory look once more, gazing at you over the lip of his wine glass while he takes another sip, un-blinking.

You’re speechless, your skin tingling where he touched you, your core fluttering as you press your legs together, wetness flooding your panties. His eyes look you up and down, his pupils blown wide, making you blush when it looks like he’s enjoying watching you squirm.

Suddenly he puts his wine down, and sits on the edge of his seat, elbows on his knees, looking you in the eye and firmly saying, “Take off your clothes.”

Your eyes go wide and your mouth opens in shock, thinking he can’t possibly be serious, “Wh-what?”

“You heard me, Y/N. Take off your clothes.”

You fold your arms tight to your body, and bite your lip, shaking your head, “Is this… this is another test isn’t it?”

“I wonder, or do you think we’re possibly past that now?” He drawls, one of his eyebrows quirked up in a faux-puzzled expression, “Now I don’t like to be kept waiting, Y/N. I said take off your clothes.”

Heat floods you head to toe, head reeling, his authoritative words ringing in your ears. His eyes are fixed on you, stern and swimming with impatience.

Your body slightly trembles as you play with the hem of your shirt, debating on whether or not you are going to obey him. You’ve never disobeyed an order from him before, and your body aches for him, is screaming at you to strip and offer yourself. But there is still a seed of doubt in your mind, a fear that if you blindly debase yourself for him that he will be disgusted by you.

In the end, your carnal desires win when you lift your shirt over your head and drop it to your feet, your boots and pants coming off next until you are left in your bra and panties, skin tinged pink with a mixture of excitement and embarrassment as he stares at you.

“Come here,” he beckons, twitching his fingers in a come-hither motion, his yellow eyes almost black while his blown-out pupils rake over your body.

You obey, stumbling forward slightly, your knees knocking together while you look at the floor to avert his searing gaze. You stop about a foot away from him, the heat from the fireplace warming you, the light from the flames dancing along your exposed skin.

Finally you look up at him once more, the fire flickering back in his eyes, making him look even more dangerous than he normally does. He takes a deep breath, his teeth raking his bottom lip before he says, “Take off all of your clothes.”

You shiver at his tone, deep and serious, a wave of arousal rolling through your tummy. You expected that he would ask this, but in the back of your mind you didn’t think he would go this far.

Every limit you ever thought you had is surpassed the moment you unhook your bra and abandon it on the floor, your breasts perking up as they are exposed to the open air; your panties soon after being tugged down your legs and kicked away.

Mihawk is on the edge of his seat, staring you down with a possessive and heated look when he finally speaks again, “Now, get down on your knees.”

You blush furiously, but comply, sinking down to your knees on the plush carpet in front of him, covering your breasts with your arms and pressing your thighs together to maintain some level of modesty.

That makes him smirk, a light laugh exhaling from his lips, “Don’t be shy, be a good girl and spread your legs for me, then put your hands behind your back.”

You whimper, your limbs shaking a little when you sit up on your knees and spread your legs, revealing your glistening pussy while you cross your arms behind your back. There’s no going back now, no where to hide yourself as you kneel completely bare before him.

Mihawk licks his lips in response, giving you a once over, looking like a hawk about to devour his prey, but only after playing with it just a little.

“You like this, don’t you, Y/N?” He asks with a devious smile while he eye-fucks you, paying special attention to your chest and cunt, reveling in how delirious with arousal you’ve become.

You bite your lip, your body trembling as heat licks up your insides. In response to his question you nod, no use lying about it now that the want is fully on display, leaking out of you.

He grins and gets up from his chair, circling around you once more before he leans down on one knee to get eye-level with you, gently grazing his hand along your collarbone, before tucking a stray hair behind your ear.

“If I feel between your legs, how wet are you going to be for me? Or should we just wait to see if you make a mess of my carpet?”

You bite back a moan, your nails digging into your forearms behind your back, your heart pounding wildly in your chest, your clit throbbing at his words. The fear of him being right shoots heat right through your veins, and at this rate you would start dripping. The thought visibly flushes your face and the tips of your ears a dark crimson color.

His hand is now on your thigh, creeping further and further towards your slick center, his lips ghosting along the underside of your jaw as he does so, making you shiver with need, “Would you like me to check?”

You let out a shaky breath when he pulls back to look into your eyes, pondering and searching for any hesitation while his fingers continue their journey, “Tell me no…” He says, just like he said in the dark hallway the night before, “Tell me no, and I’ll stop.”

His face is even closer to yours now, the ghost of a kiss just an inch from your lips. You shake your head, pressing your forehead to his, pleading, “Please… Please don’t stop.”

He caresses one of your breasts, thumb stroking over a hardened nipple, causing you to pant, your breath tickling over his face, his other hand gripping your hip, “Tell me, little rabbit… why have you continued to humiliate yourself for me this entire week? Why have you let me treat you this way in front of the others, and in private?”

“I-I…” You try to find the words, your mind numb with pleasure, your nerves alight as his touch electrifies you, and then the realization even surprises you, “I like it. I like the way it makes me feel. You’re my teacher, my master, my Sir… I like it when you control me.”

His smile is wicked, pleased with your answer, and that’s when he finally touches you, just barely, and your pussy is dripping slick. You whine as ecstasy rolls through your body, his fingertip exploring your drenched folds.

“What a naughty rabbit you are… I knew what a good, little pet you would be the first time I ever saw you,” He purrs in your ear, spreading your wetness around your stiff clit, “Perhaps I should have the other students come in, since you like this so much. Have them watch and learn what it’s like to be truly obedient.”

Your eyes widen in horror, your body uncontrollably trembling in his hands, but still you hold your position, “N-no, Sir, p-please don’t!”

It’s then that he kisses you, never once stopping his exploration; the movements on your clit increasing while he ravages your lips, his slick tongue invading your mouth to slide over your own wet muscle. You keen into his mouth, opening even wider as you drink each other in with wild abandon.

He finally breaks away, chuckling lowly, “Just teasing you, pet, I wouldn’t dream of it. From here on out you are mine. All mine. Is that understood?”

You nod, dazed as you press your face into the side of his neck, “Yes, Sir… that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Your fate is sealed with another kiss when his fingers finally enter you, curling up to fuck into that sensitive spot inside that makes you see stars. You cry out into his mouth as he alternates between scissoring his thick fingers into your cunt, and rubbing them over your clit, rocketing you hard and fast towards your orgasm.

“I’m sure those poor knees of yours are getting awfully sore, darling. I’ll reward you and make all of the aches and pains go away if you can cum just like this.” He says, lips brushing over your ear, his goatee tickling your jaw.

You moan, your head thrown back while he begins to nip and suck at your neck, leaving marks of pleasurable pain in his wake as he keeps continuous pressure on your clit, rubbing small circles into the wet bundle of nerves. Heat and pressure is slowly building in your tummy, a tight knot threatening to snap as pure rapture bleeds through your body, pumping hot in your veins.

“Mihawk, Sir… plleeeeaase.”

“Mmm, such a good girl. So soft, and pliant and wet.”

His praise fuels the fire in your belly, your thighs shaking with desperation as his fingers never cease their relentless pace; a little puddle of your arousal coats his hand and dampens the carpet below. The pressure continues to build, your skin flushed pink, your warm, drenched cunt clenching around nothing when his fingers overstimulate your clit.

“You’ve been such a good girl, my little rabbit. You deserve to feel good after all I’ve put you through. Now cum for me.”

You pant into his neck, chest heaving as you whimper, your eyes squeezed shut as the pressure inside you overflows, tension snapping. You twitch in his embrace while your orgasm overwhelms you, feeling yourself flutter and gush on his hand, your entire body pulsing in time with your rapidly beating heart.

“Messy little thing,” he teases, extending the fingers he used to pleasure you to your lips, “Looks like I was right about you making a mess. But don’t worry about that now, be a good girl and clean me up.”

You suck on his slick digits obediently, trembling from your orgasm while pressed flush against him. He pulls apart your arms that have been folded behind your back, nudging them to wrap around his neck. After cleaning your wetness from his fingers he cradles your face, pressing tender kisses to your mouth and cheeks.

“So perfect, you did so good for me, Y/N,” he coos while he gathers you up in his arms, getting you off the position on your knees to his lap, “Always so perfectly obedient, doing exactly what I say.”

His praise puts you on cloud nine, adoration and devotion radiating through you; still aglow from your orgasm as you snuggle to his chest. He picks you up and swiftly begins to make his way over to his bed, reigniting your excitement and arousal for the reward he promised you.

“And good girls who listen…” He says, before throwing you onto the bed on your back, and immediately gripping your thighs to pull them a part, “…get rewarded for their impeccable behavior.”

He towers over you on the edge of the bed, almost folding you in half, your ankles close to your ears. His hands have you spread open wide, leaking cunt on full display, thumb toying with the hood of your clit before he licks up your slit.

You gasp out a whine, your hands flying to tangle in his hair. His eyes are fixed on yours, half-lidded, pupils still blown with insatiable desire while he eats you out, alternating between lapping at your clit and tonguing your drenched opening.

Your second orgasm hits you by surprise, his expert ministrations flooding you with euphoria as you bite your lip to keep from screaming; your nails digging firm against his scalp while you rut against his face.

“Mm, exquisite,” he hums once you’ve gone slack again, twitching in the afterglow while he crawls up your body, “I think your delicious cunt was made for my tongue.”

His black facial hair glistens in the firelight on his jaw when he licks his lips, leaning over you till you are face to face once more, breath mingling, “I’m sure it was made for my cock as well.”

“Sir please!” You sob, keeping yourself wide open for him, “Please, I need it so bad! Please fuck me…”

He grins down at you, face darkened by the flickering shadows of the room, caressing your cheek, and wiping away a stray tear that falls from the corner of your eye. Then he kisses you, all tongue and teeth, wet with your spit and slick on his lips.

Once he pulls away he sits back up, thumb hooked into the waistband of his pants, the outline of his cock bulging against his leg. You whine once more, squirming with need, and when he takes off all of his clothes it makes you throb. He’s the biggest you’ve ever seen: long, thick, and heavy, red at the tip and leaking precum.

“I know, little rabbit, I know,” He says lowly, stroking himself while he positions between your legs, “I’ll give it to you. Are you going to be a good girl and take it all?”

Your eyes are wide, your body shaking. It’s been a long time since you’ve had anyone inside you, and never someone his size before, but you nod, “Yes, Sir, I-I can take it...”

“Good girl.”

And then he’s pushing into you, stuffing the tip of his dick into your dripping cunt, and even with the amount of lubrication your body has created for you, the feeling of being split open sucks the air right out of your lungs. He grabs your legs and hoists your ankles over his shoulders, driving his hips down with a quick thrust to fully sheath himself inside of you. The motion makes you cry out and claw at the bedding, your body completely encased by his as he folds you, then begins an utterly ruthless pace.

Never have you been so full before, stretched to capacity while he fucks into you, staring down at you with fierce concentration, as if he were dueling you in a swordfight. He watches you fall apart entirely, tears streaming down your face while you cry and whimper his name, and every other little sound of pleasure and pain in between.

His cock touches every inch inside of you, pounding your G-spot with a fierceness that makes you feel like you are going to black out. Every cell in your body seems to scream and sing in unison when he finally reaches down and flicks at your clit, sending you into an immersion of pain and ecstasy that you didn’t know could possibly exist as you cum hard around his cock.

The two of you pant in unison, him stilling inside of you to give you a moment to come back to reality once more. Your body is thrumming with overstimulation, blood rushing wildly through your veins as his face swims in your vision. He’s biting his lip, concentrating on not cumming inside of you as he begins to pull out of your slick heat.

“Such a good girl for me, taking my cock so well,” His praise washes over you again, easing the ache of his dick withdrawing from you, “But I’m not through with you yet, little rabbit.”

Suddenly your legs are removed from their perch on his shoulders, and you cry out when you are flipped over onto your stomach. He manhandles you onto your hands and knees, soothing his hand along your spine so you arch your back.

“I think I’ve been more than generous with my reward, don’t you?”

He grabs you by the hair, forcing your head back so he can look into your eyes, making your back arch even more. You whimper at the rough treatment, exhausted from the amount of pleasure ripped from your body, but obediently you look into his glowing eyes and nod.

“Y-yes Sir, thank you, thank you so much.”

He grins his devious smile once more, kissing you hard on the mouth before releasing your hair and withdrawing behind you, “I think that means I deserve my own reward then.”

Without warning he slaps you on the ass, making you gasp in surprise and shrink a little onto the bed.

“Tsk, tsk,” he vocalizes with a suck to his teeth, gripping your hip so you return back to your position, “None of that, you want to make your Sir feel good, don’t you?”

“Yes, I’m sorry!” You cry, burying your face into the sheets, “I’ll be good.”

He caresses your hips and massages the small of your back, before you feel him spread the cheeks of your ass and rub his cock over your puckered hole. The sensation makes you stiffen, but you resist the urge to shy away.

“Such a gorgeous ass, I’m sure it would feel like heaven to have it sucking around my cock.”

The thought simultaneously turns you on and makes you want to cry. Taking someone back there was something you had never done before, and thinking about him impaling you on his huge cock tonight after already being so tired and used, terrified you.

He continues to rub his dick through the cleft of your ass, as if waiting for you to respond. Not wanting to disappoint your Sir, you gather your courage, and turn around a bit shyly to look at him, tears glistening in your eyes.

“You can do whatever you want to me, Sir… I just want to make you feel good. You can…y-you can fuck my ass, if that’s what you want.”

Mihawk’s jaw tightens and he groans, his eyes seeming to flash before he licks his lips, “You truly are the sweetest pet a man could ask for. While that offer is tempting, rabbit, I will not do it tonight. I do not wish to hurt you, that is going to require some training, and believe me I will be training you. But for now…”

He maneuvers himself swiftly, dragging his tip through your pussy folds, coating his cock in your slick before thrusting into you once more, bottoming out. You moan into the bedsheets, spreading your legs further as he begins to fuck you from behind, his hips snapping fast and hard, loud sounds of skin slapping each other filling the room and ringing in your ears.

“From now on you’re mine,” he pants, his fingertips bruising into your hips and thighs, “If anyone else touches you again, I’ll fucking kill them.”

You whine in agreement, unable to use your words while your body is pounded into the bed, rattling the entire structure, slick dripping down your thighs as his balls slap against your clit.

“My perfect little student, so good for me,” He growls, grabbing your hair again and slapping your ass, his hips beginning to stutter, his speech becoming more frenzied, “Say you’re mine, say who punishes, fucks, and lets you cum.”

“I’m all yours! I belong to you!” You cry out, your neck straining back, eyes fluttering as he continuously fills you from head to base, “Mihawk, Mihawk!”

“Little rabbit, all mine. Mine to use, pleasure, and humiliate. Because. She. Likes. It.” He enunciates the words with four sharp, drawn out thrusts of his cock, “And if you don’t cum on my cock right now, you won’t for another week. That’s a promise.”

He reaches down and slaps your clit, once, twice, then three times, each one harder than the last while he pumps into you. Your eyes roll back into your head, your body buzzing as it takes control for you and obeys him, your pussy pulsing and gushing around his cock while you cum for the last time.

The feeling of your pussy clenching and releasing does him in; with a bite to your shoulder and a deep moan he empties himself inside of you, splashing his hot cum inside your velvety womb.

Bliss overtakes you when you collapse onto the plush bed, cheek pressed firm into the silk sheets while Mihawk pants against your neck, riding the aftermath waves of his orgasm.

After a few moments of composing himself, he comes back to reality; with gentle words and soft kisses he unsheathes himself from your body, and wraps you in his arms.

“Y/N, dear Y/N, are you alright?” He asks softly, brows furrowed with concern.

You’re an absolute wreck: cheeks flushed, skin damp with sweat, eyes shut. But your heart-rate has begun to return to normal, your breathing evening out while you press your face to his chest.

“Yes, Sir, yes… so good, so very good…” You smile, happy, giddy, and exhausted all at once. Sticky between the thighs, but relaxed and satisfied.

He kisses you on the forehead, smoothing back your wild sex hair for you, tucking the stray hairs out of your face.

“It seems like we have a lot to talk about, Y/N… I meant when I said that I intend for you to be mine.”

The confession makes your heart flutter, warmth and adoration surging through your veins as you turn over to face him, “I would very much like to talk about that, Sir…”

Another one of his devious smirks lights up his eyes, his hands groping over your thigh and ass, “Good, we’ll have all week to discuss the details, all by ourselves, my little rabbit.”

You give him a puzzled look, “What do you mean all week, Sir?”

He looks so smug, so pleased with himself while he stares you in the eyes and gazes over your face; his thumb tracing over your bottom lip, causing your mouth to slightly part.

“Did you tell anyone that I have not left the castle?”

“No, of course not,” You answer earnestly, wanting him to know you would never disobey his orders.

“By chance did you tell anyone where you were going?”

“N-no…”

The realization hits and you feel embers of arousal ignite in your core, your mind reeling with the promise of untold pleasures.

“Then for 6 more days, pet, you’re all mine. All mine, to play with, and more.”

Main Masterlist

[khunyuki]

"I am not going to fall in love, Yuu. Not until we find a way home"

<Observing Deuce>

Sypnosis: You made up your mind not to fall in love the moment you arrived at Twisted Wonderland with your bestfriend, Yuu. With plenty of responsibilities on your shoulders in both worlds, do you even have time for romance? At least that's what you thought... Until a certain someone's actions caught your gaze.

Oneshot Pairing/s: Deuce Spade x reader

Notes: Deuce is one of my favorites so I'll make him first <3 I'll try to make Y/N as gender neutral as possible

Masterlist: TOC

To be a magicless student at an all-boy's school like Night Raven College, you must never ever let your guard down. Letting your guard down means exposing yourself to danger. Danger could be something as simple as tripping over a rock or something as extreme as getting involved in overblots left and right. You blame your bestfriend and your monster cat for that. With how careful you were being, they contribute with their recklessness and ability to get themselves involved in trouble tenfold. Truly, you wouldn't do anything to compromise your safety on purpose.

You weren't the luckiest person in the world but your luck becomes non-existent when in the presence of those two. You don't mind though, they spice up your otherwise boring life. Besides, you love those two to death and would do anything for them. Still, you don't appreciate the misfortunes befalling upon you whenever you guys are together.

A prime example of that misfortune would be this situation you are currently in right now. You were just exiting the library with a stack of books in your arms when you heard your name being called.

"Y/N!"

Just hearing the voice is enough for you to know who the owner is and you lift your head up to see Yuu waving at you as they headed towards your direction. You waited for them to arrive before greeting back.

"Hey, Yuu, what's up? Kinda rare for you to be alone at this time"

"Grim's at detention with Ace and i'm on my way to Monstro Lounge cuz Azul apparently wanted to talk to me about something"

"You better not go signing contracts involving us without my permission. Otherwise, i'll go and grill you and that freakin' octopus alive"

With eyes as sharp as knives, you glared at your bestfriend who just laughed sheepishly. Both of you knew that your threat will very much come true if Yuu ever as signs another suspicious contract with Azul again. And that if your hands weren't occupied at the moment, you will definitely come with them there.

"I won't, I won't! I promise! But what's that stack of books all about?"

"For tonight's study session. It covers everything related to our homework so we could finish quickly and enjoy the rest of the sleepover"

"Can't I just copy yours?"

"No"

Seeing Yuu deflate at the mention of homework made you laugh a bit. Who doesn't hate homework? Certainly not you, you just preferred to get it out of the way fast so you no longer have anything to think about. Yuu proceeded to say their goodbye and left which reminded you that you're still in front of the library doors.

Just as you were about to take your leave as well, the library doors opened which caused the person leaving to knock into you causing you to fall along with the books you were holding. Without even bothering to help nor offering an apology, the person who bumped into you left with a huff. With your delayed response, the bastard already got away before you got your hands on them.

"Y/N! That bastard I-"

"Deuce?"

The blue haired male with a distinct spade on his face immediately knelt down where you were currently sitting on the ground as soon as he got to you. He gently put his hands on your face as he inspected you closely for injuries.

"Are you okay?"

With a soft voice, in contrast to the delinquent-like voice he let out earlier, he asked if you were alright. His piercing eyes looking straight to yours combined with his hands on your face made you physically unable to move, leaving you no choice but to stare straight back at him.

"Yeah, i'm okay. What are you doing here?"

As soon as he heard the word 'okay' he instantly let you go as he breathe out a sigh of relief. Maybe he didn't notice how close your faces were to each other earlier since he was now picking up the books you dropped. You thought nothing of it, just a normal interaction between friends, that was until you saw the red dusted on his ears.

"I- I met Yuu around the corner and they said you were here so I rushed then I saw that bastard bumping into you without apologizing. Woah this is heavy, were you planning on carrying this all by yourself?"

Seeing him get up made you realize that you were still on the ground and you didn't help him pick up the books you dropped so you immediately got up and dusted yourself. The both of your started walking to Ramshackle dorm after you finished.

"Yeah, it's for our study session later"

"This is quite... a lot. But it's nothing for an honor student like me"

Seeing him gulp and somewhat deflate like Yuu did earlier then suddenly declare that he is an honor student made you laugh. You weren't laughing at him being an honor student but rather his expression, it was kinda cute. Maybe what you saw earlier was just a fluke, your mind must've been playing tricks on you. There's no way Deuce Spade would blush because of you... right?

On the way back to your dorm, you engaged in a conversation with Duece like you always did. He didn't give you back the books insisting he could carry them all which left you with nothing to hold. That's why you chose this time to observe him closely, his expressions and how he acts around you.

Looking back, you never got to closely observe Deuce ever since you got here. You were busy adjusting after arriving and staying alive from the first overblot incident that you forgot. Ace and Deuce who helped you and has been your friends since then had gained your trust so you didn't see any point in doing so. Were you wrong in doing so?

Ace was annoying and would often get on your nerves so you spent more time learning about him than Deuce who had been nothing but kind to you. You've observed almost everyone you frequently interacted with so you could say with certainty.

Amongst everyone, Deuce was the only person you never bothered learning about deeply. Why exactly was that? And why was it that you were only realizing this now?

Maybe it's time to finally learn about Deuce Spade.

Introducing Deuce Spade

Deuce Spade is one of the first few people you trust the most, having been your first friend in Twisted Wonderland along with Ace. Being in the same class has proven wonders in your relationship as you keep seeing each other and hanging out thus deepening your bond. The life and death situations you encounter together made you closer so you now see him as a person you can rely on no matter what.

Your Relationship

As a friend, Deuce Spade is someone you can always rely on as he has proven himself dependable every single time. He is kind and polite, quite a gentleman when it comes to you. You can see with the way he is always looking out for you that you are important to him. After finding out about your non-existent physical capabilities, he brings it upon himself to protect you from harm and away from danger. He will always make sure you are okay, taking your emotions into account.

Observations

After you got home from Styx Headquarters, Deuce's protectiveness seems to have gotten worse which caused you to see things you haven't before. You are now suspecting that he is somehow interested in you.

Listed below are the things he does to catch your eyes:

Deuce would carry your things for you no matter how light or heavy it is

The starting point of this observation diary is when you saw him blush after he helped you pick your books from the ground. Even before that happened, Deuce has always been helping you in carrying things. Be it your bag, your groceries, or even Ramshackle's couch. You remember how he would constantly ask you if you need help first before taking your things but as time goes by, it became so natural you didn't notice it anymore. Looking back, it seems weird how when he's around you'll just pass him what you're carrying and he'd gladly accept it.

Deuce will always choose you first. Be it talking or confiding secrets

You are reminding yourself that the two of you are just friends. It is normal for friends to tell each other stuffs and keep it as your secrets. If are with other people, Deuce will greet you first then the others, after that he focuses his attention on you. If he has good news, he will tell you immediately. If he has bad news, he will hesitate but eventually relent. It was because he made you his emotional support that you felt compelled to do the same. That's why you'll tell him about things first even before Yuu or Grim know.

Deuce is always fun to talk to and provides great comfort to you. He's a great emotional support and would ask if you're alright. You'd often find yourself staying up late just texting each other dumb stuffs. You're that close to the point that you're even talking to his mom and you also get along well! It is because of Deuce that even if you have problem, you wouldn't be heavy-hearted cause he's always by your side to make you feel better.

While you feel annoyed by it at times, you didn't mind because it's Deuce. He has a way with you that if he asks or tell you something, you'd listen intently. If it was any other guy like Ace, you'd definitely bite his head off. Maybe it's because unlike other people who demands you to do things, he will ask you first for permission.

Deuce will always protect you

You remember that time in the mines, he noticed you were running slower than them so he grabbed your arm so you wouldn't get left behind. That's when it started. You admit that your physical capabilities are low so you let him be if it will save you from the hassle or danger. During overblots, Ace and Deuce are always with you guys and Deuce will remain by your side to protect you. He would hold your wrist so he can drag you away anytime or pull you behind him, he would cover your body with his if necessary.

That's why when you're involved in trouble, he would always go to your first so he could protect you and drag you away if necessary. At school, there are thugs that like to pick up fights whenever they can. Sometimes, you'd get caught up in them which is something you hated. If you're lucky, a passing student will be someone you know so they can provide help but if you're unlucky, you just have to rely on dirty tricks. Deuce couldn't always be there but he would drop everything and run so fast just to get to you in that very instance.

If you're hurt, he'd beat up the bastard who did that to you. Even if it means breaking his promise to his mother, he will do it to protect you. So you will always stop him before he could which will make him grateful to you but regrets he couldn't protect you. His past doesn't scare you nor is his reaction to those who pick fights with him. It's because you trust that he will never bring you harm.

Deuce is a extremely reliable and a gentleman

His reliablity is the main reason he got your trust in the first place. After arriving in Twisted Wonderland, he's one of the first few who treated you with kindness and offered his help. He's proven it to you in multiple occasions so you know that you can always count on him. Not only does he come to your aid when you ask, he'd even offer it first and perform well. If he couldn't then it's fine cause he'd worry more than you anyways which will make you feel like it's nothing to worry about at all. That's why even if he isn't the person fit for the job, you'd still choose him in the end.

This was something you also unknowingly got used to whenever you're together. Deuce will always open the door for you and let you in first. He will offer to carry your things no matter how light or heavy it may be. He'd ask for your permission first before doing things. He'd let you sit first or place a towel for you to sit on. The list goes long for the things he does for you in his acts of service. He may not be a gentleman like Riddle, he tries still hard to do so.

Deuce always partners up with you

This may seem silly but you became partners in Alchemy because he keeps asking you to from the start. You didn't like it at first because Deuce isn't that bright but he isn't as reckless like Grim or Ace which makes him ideal. As time goes by, you also always choose to partner up with him first and not Yuu. You find him comfortable and fun to be around, even if you're studying together and you have to teach him. Most of your time is spent together with him as you hang out even without your other friends.

Deuce is really cute

You can definitely say that Deuce is handsome after looking at his face. His looks cannot be compared to others like Vil, Epel, Malleus, Lilia, Silver, or Leona but he's definitely above average. His face is pretty but that isn't what you like about him.

You like how clumsy he is at times like when he was talking to the plants in the botanical garden. Or when he unknowingly leans close to you and you lean back then he would be startled and apologize when he realizes. All of his reactions are cute yet genuine.

Dilemma

After you started to observe Deuce in earnest, you notice how he actually does like you in that kind of way. The things he does with you are things he doesn't do with others. Normally you do not like this kind of development, going as far as to avoid it but... It seems you have developed feelings for him as well while watching him closely. Scratch that, it seems that you've always liked him back and have only realized it now. It is always the little things that move you and that is what Deuce is about.

Your priority is to find a way back home however your heart seems to insist that you wanted something more with him.

Whatever shall you do?

Conclusion

It was just a spur of the moment as you were still deciding on what you should do. An unbirthday party at Heartslabyul just ended so Deuce is walking you back to Ramshackle. You would've gone with Yuu and Grim but you had to talk to Trey about something first and before you knew it, it was getting late. Trey asked Deuce to chaperone you back as he knows the two of you are close friends. But you can see it in his eyes that he's rooting for Deuce.

"Hey Deuce, do you like me?"

You asked Deuce as you admire the Rose Garden of Heartslabyul. You felt him stop in his tracks which made you stop as you stare at him going red.

"Umm... That's... Yes"

Maybe he thinks you were trying to reject him that he was almost crying in shame after being so flustered and admitting it.

"I like you too"

You gave him a smile. It wasn't wide with joy nor sad with sorrow. It was a normal smile that you always show to him. Something that he's used to and greatly comforts him. It wasn't just your words that makes Deuce's heart beat so fast, it was your smile that shows the ease of it as if you liking him was the most normal thing in the world.

"Wanna go out together?"

You weren't planning on confessing but you certainly weren't gonna reject when he nodded his head. His disbelief and shock wasn't gonna stop you since you could see how happy he is when you held his hand in yours intertwined.

[bookphile]

Lately, I've been frustrated by the huge waiting times at the library. Not just for ebooks or audiobooks, but even physical books. You don't have to explain to me how libraries work, because I know, I also know how ebook purchasing etc works for libraries. Also, I live near a large metropolitan area of a city known for being literary. So the libraries are not underfunded and have massive collections. Our librarians also do a fantastic job of curating the libraries and organizing not just books, but classes, book clubs, etc. Maybe it's a the fact that the libraries in my area do the interloan book borrowing system. Meaning, the catalogue is connected and so if your library does not have something you can request it from another library and it will be delivered to yours so you can borrow it. But that means that the librarians are more likely to cull less popular books/series to free up space since another library will have a copy. This means you have to wait for the book to arrive from elsewhere and if there's a sudden interest there's only one copy for multiple libraries to go around.

Maybe it's the fact that price of books both physical and digital has skyrocketed to the point where new hardcover books are anywhere from 30-50 $ (US) and paperbacks are 20-30$. Which most people simply cannot afford. To put into perspective, my electricity bill is usually lower than a new hardcover book. Audiobooks are even more prohibitive so that the only way to purchase them is get a subscription and be able to get one book a month for a reasonable price, wait for sales, or purchase at full price for $50-60. Ebook book prices have started to match paperback prices and sometimes even cost more. This of course, means more people look to the library to get a copy, but if it's a new release, you can end up waiting anywhere from a couple of weeks to several months to get a copy. In my area, libraries will often purchase a lot of copies of popular books to meet the demand as much as they can -- I cannot imagine how it is in less funded areas.

To make it clear, I'm not complaining about libraries. Or librarians. I love them both. Super privileged to live in an area that can not only provide these books for free, but also do their best to meet the demand. Also, super happy to live in an area where so many people read so many books!!

But I can still think it's ridiculous to have to wait six months for a new release. Clearly there's a hitch in the system somewhere.

[letmeliveinelfhame]

Read/see how my Holly Black collection grew in the space of a year!! Apologies for the long ass post 😂

June 2023 - Read the main trilogy + The Lost Sisters on my Kindle for the first time. Fell in love and bought physical copies of the trilogy and How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories as a bundle from Amazon (I need The Lost Sisters to be released as a physical 🙏)

22nd June 2023 - a pin I ordered was dispatched

19th July 2023 - the Jurdan bookmark I bought was dispatched

August 2023 - Bought The Stolen Heir and Book of Night (still haven't read it yet, though) from The Works

1st November 2023 - Ordered Tithe from Waterstones

5th December - First photo shared to one of my Instagram accounts (the collection was so small back then 🥺)

25th December 2023 - Received Illumicrate replica of Jude's sword, FairyLoot playing cards and Cardan trinket dish and US collector's edition of The Cruel Prince as Christmas gifts

17th February 2024 - Waterstones order including Valiant and Ironside arrived

20th February 2024 - Elfhame candle I ordered was dispatched

4th March 2024 - Entered the Bonnier Books UK sprayed edge duology (1 winner), Wren quote bookmark and The Prisoner's Throne sticker sheet (350 winners) giveaway by sending my proof of preorder of the book from Waterstones. Only 350 would be selected, but I was outside the 350 entries so I didn't think I'd win anything

8th March 2024 - Finished reading The Prisoner's Throne and added it to the little collection

10th March 2024 - I moved the collection to the mini bookcase behind my bed so it could have its own shelf

3rd April 2024 - I typed up, printed and tea-stained copies of Cardan's letters to Jude. To use the exact font, I had to use my college Microsoft account instead of my personal one as the font was a premium feature

8th April 2024 - Received the Wren quote bookmark and The Prisoner's Throne sticker sheet that I didn't think I'd win

May 2024 - I moved the collection back to my main bookcase, giving it a larger shelf

17th June 2024 - I received the Illumicrate editions of The Stolen Heir and The Prisoner's Throne from a reseller on eBay

29th June 2024 - Illumicrate edition of Book of Night arrived from a reseller on Vinted

9th August 2024 - I received the FairyLoot edition of The Prisoner's Throne as a birthday gift

Current collection:

I'm waiting for The Darkest Part of the Forest and 4 items to add to this 🙈

[gab-tao]

I just copied and paste this from my Wattpat book- Enjoy!

❥ Dazai x Reader

❥Angst ➯ Fluff

❥ Gender-neutral reader

❥mentions of self-harm and alcohol: if you are not comfortable with this type of content then please skip this chapter.

꧁☆꧂

It was a quiet day at the agency. Surprisingly, you didn't hear Dazai and Kunikida fighting like cats and dogs as usual, Atsushi was out with some other members. All in all, it was a much more peaceful day then you expected but you began to wonder: where's your beloved, Dazai? He should have talked to you by now or at least you should have seen him somewhere in the agency. Fighting with Kunikida over slacking off again, sleeping on the couch in the agency or at least somewhere. It started to worry you. Where is he? You decided to wait a while to see if he would show up later. If not you would ask around the agency in case they have seen him.

You waited on what felt like hours. You asked all over the agency and searched for him multiple times. Where could he be? If he's not in the agency, then could he still be at his apartment? You decided after work you would go looking for him.

ꨄ

You were trying to keep your composure, but with all the anxiety that built up within the past hours, you ran toward his place praying he was ok. You soon arrived at Dazai's place, gasping for breath from how far you ran. You knocked on the door hoping that there was a sign of him inside, no answer. You knocked on it multiple times practically trying to break the door down with just your fist. You then tried turning the door knob, it was open. This put you on edge as you entered the place, bottles of a bear were scattered all over the floor, along with bandages and a trail of crimson liquid. You begin to call out for him, soon noticing the bathroom light was on. You began to open the door with an uneasy feeling.

As you opened the door you began to see the bottom half of your lover you felt all the emotions of him being hurt go away. Once you opened it fully, the weight of all your emotions came crashing down. Dazai was bent over the toilet, violently vomiting from the amount of alcohol he had consumed with bloody hands from self-made marks with a box cutter on the sink. You wanted this to be a bad dream, you wanted to wake up in your bed, go to work and see Dazai in the office. This wasn't a dream though. It was real and you hated it. You've heard of him doing things like this before from others in the agency but you never thought you would witness it.

Dazai soon finished vomiting for what felt like the millionth time that day. Slowly turned his head towards the bathroom door, hearing it creak a few seconds ago. To his horror, you were at the door staring at him, his eyes widened as the weight of his actions finally hit him. He never wanted you to see him like this, he never wanted you to see what the loss of a dear friend did to him.

You were trying to control your breathing, your emotions, everything. You felt like you were about collapse. Your head was spinning, your breath started to quicken and you couldn't control it. The weight of all your emotions was too much for mental and physical forms to take. You fell to your knees and started breathing much faster than before. Your ears started ringing as you faintly heard the voice of your dear beloved realizing what was going on and rapidly came towards you.

You could barely make out the figure in front of you was Dazai. Your vision was a blur, your mind was foggy and plugged with what you just saw. Dazai was holding on to you as you were gripping his forearm and shoulder. His arms were stinging from your hand placement and you were squeezing them very tightly.

ꨄ

After what felt like hours to Dazai your panic attack was finally reduced to just tears. "Dazai. Why would you do something like this to yourself?" He didn't answer, he only went back to the toilet to continue vomiting. You regained your composure and got up from your spot on the floor and began to search the house for anything to help Dazai with the after-effects of the alcohol and to cover his cuts.

After a while of searching you where able to find bandages for him but no painkillers to help with the head ach he must be having. You soon when to the bathroom to check on him seeing Dazai was still sitting on the floor in front of the toilet waiting to throw up again. Soon realizing, he was on the floor. He couldn't just stay on the bathroom floor all day could he? began to draw a bath for Dazai.

"Dazai? I need you to clean yourself ok? The tub is already starting to fill with water. After that then we can clean your cuts, eat and I can give you medicine to help with the vomiting and pain. Does that sound ok?" You were concerned over his well-being, why would he do such a thing to himself? You tried not to think about it any longer, you didn't want to pry at him and make him uncomfortable. The only thing that matters right now is that he gets the help that he needs at this moment. Dazai slowly nods his head at you, grateful for all your doing for him. He couldn't ask for a better lover other than you.

You soon went out of the bathroom to get Dazai some clean clothes and a towel. Returning to the bathroom, you were about to place the items on the sink when you noticed the box cutter. You quickly grabbed it, placed the stuff down in the sink, and threw the blade out, you never wanted to see a box cutter ever again after this experience. You soon made your way to the bathroom, closing the water, helping Dazai with his remaining clothes, and getting him into the water.

You were about to leave until Dazai grabbed your wrist pulling you towards him. He looked at you with a pleading eye, gesturing you towards the bath. "Do you want me to wash you?" He soon tugged your wrist again while the other arm went towards your blouse to unbutton it. "Would you like me to come in the bath with you?" Dazai simply nodded as he let your wrist go so you can take off your clothes. "Dazai, I have no clothes to change into though." You didn't expect Dazai to be so clingy. "You could wear mine, [Name]," Dazai said in a demanding tone, it seemed like you have no choice now.

Dazai turned to face the wall giving you some sort of privacy to take off your clothes and get into the bath. Soon stepping into the tub you both sat on opposite ends of the tub, you were too embarrassed to face him while he was just staring at you. Dazai begins to become impatient with you just sitting away from him so he decided to take matters into his own hands. "[Name], could you come closer?" You were completely baffled at what he asked, it was one thing to get in the bath with him, but it was a different subject for your unclothed forms to touch one another. You started to refuse at first, but eventually gave in to his pleas and began to make your way to his side.

You stopped in the middle of the tub to give some space between you both. You were about to grab the shampoo when you suddenly felt two hands around your waist, that rapidly pulled you towards your lover. Your face turned crimson as you release your where in Dazai's lap. After you were able to process your thoughts, you began to help him shower. Dazai melted into your touch as you massage his head with shampoo, cleaning him off. You could swear whenever you took your hands off of him to do something else he would whine.

ꨄ

You were the first to get out of the bath. Wrapping one of Dazai's towels around your body. Your sole-heartedly believed that he could at least bush his teeth while you go change into something comfortable and start cleaning up the bottles of bear laying around the house. You squirted toothpaste on his toothbrush and handed it to him then soon exited the bathroom.

After getting dressed you found a black garbage bag and began to clean up all the beer bottles, picking them up and throwing them out no matter if they were empty or not.

ꨄ

Dazai was doing much better than before, some members of the agency have been trying to contact you but you keep ignoring their calls. The most important thing right now was Dazai's well-being. As of now, you were cleaning up the apartment, tossing away any bottle of beer that you saw no matter if it had anything beer left in it or not. Dazai was currently laying down on his bed, still feeling the effects of his hangover.

You had just finished cleaning and you decided to check up on Dazai. "Dazai? Are you awake?" You called out to him soon hearing a hum in response as you walked towards where he was laying. "Dazai, why did you do that to yourself?" No answer. Tears threaten to spill as you continued "Did you not think about the consequences your actions could have caused." You started to grip your shoulders trying to calm down but the thought of him doing something worse was plaguing your mind.

You held back your sobs as you cried silently. You didn't want him to have these thoughts. You wanted to help him, you wanted to get rid of the darkness in his mind and give him something worth living for. "[Name]?" His voice sound almost unrecognizable, there usually was a hint of joy in his talk but you now just realized it was never there, to begin with. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" You were confused, he did nothing wrong not at all so what was he sorry for? "[Name], I'm sorry you had to see me like this," Dazai said with his back still facing you. "Dazai, you don't have to apologize for anything, I'm the one who should be apologizing. If I came here earlier then you might have not done this to yourself." You felt guilty that you weren't here sooner to stop it. You felt at fault for not being there for him.

His hand gripped your shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze and soon began to move his hand down to yours intertwining your fingers and pulling you into bed with him. Intertwining your legs with his as you rested your head on top of his. You began whispering sweet nothings into his hair while planting butterfly kisses on top of his head to give you a sense of comfort. He was here with you and you wanted to cherish every moment with him for as long as you both can. Your actions soon lulled him to sleep and you soon followed.

Two lovers intertwined.

꧁☆꧂

This is very long-

It isn’t that good as well but you read it so thanks for reading all the way through!

[everybody-loves-purdy]

I got the physical version and look what I found on the back of the book!! How amazing!!

Also I haven’t read it yet even tho I’ve spoiled myself, is Tempest, the sister, mentioned?? Is she alive??? Please tell me she is. I need to know she’s alive.

Yeah don’t worry, she is safe!

Ikr that deer is gorgeous. I’m still waiting for my physical copy to arrive and I really hope it had that illustration on, but they’ve started doing UK specific editions now, and for Riverstar’s home they removed the image on the hardcover and just had it as a solid colour, which was very disappointing.

[lordofthesoups]

AHHHHH THEY ARRIVED!!

Honestly this comic means so much to me I’m so glad i was able to support its transformation into books form!!

If you havent read the glass scientists you are missing out!

A little ramble about how much i love this comic and what it means to me if you are interested:

I started reading this comic in november 2021. I read the original book when i was 13 and proceeded to hyperfixate on it and read lots of other Victorian horror literature, going so far as to later steal my name from a side character from the portrait of Dorian Gray. So when via scrolling on Pinterest i found images of the comic, i was instantly hooked and read it all in one. On the first of January my dad walked out on me and my mum. My self being a very confused and angry teenager spent a lot of the first months of 2022 feeling utterly rejected and a mess, throw in the fact that i was struggling with constant pain from migraines caused by long covid, back issues and crippling dysphoria i was not the most well put together person. I barely made it through the first few months with-ought breaking into tears once a week. Thats where the glass scientists came in:

I loved this comic (still do). It became the highlight of my week and motivated me to get through school and general life because i knew i would have it waiting for me on a Monday afternoon. Im honestly just so thankful to Sadge and for this comics existence it kept me going through a really tough time in my life and im just so so grateful it exists and also really really exited to get my hands on a physical copy!!!

Ramble over: READ THE GLASS SCIENTISTS!!! (Please)

[monsieuroverlord]

Hellverine #1 2nd printing 1:25 Cassara Virgin Variant

My goodness, do I have a mini rant about this (I'll keep it under the cut if anyone wants to skip it):

It was such a pain in the ass trying to get ahold of a copy of this!

I saw it when it was first announced a little over a month ago, right?

So, I'm like okay, it'll probably be posted on my usual ordering site (no physical shops near me, but if you follow me, you know I got a pulse on the solicits. My pull list is immaculate, things are planned and preordered MONTHS in advance).

I check every day for a week. No dice. Not posted for pre-order.

After the first couple of days during this week, I'm also casually checking other comic book sites -- either already sold out or going for a minimum of $65 to $100. Ebay pre-sales are pretty similar.

So I'm like, screw that, it isn't even out yet! The official catalog price is like $9.99, I can wait.

A month goes by, I'm checking diligently every day. There are no changes.

Then I'm like, "Okay, I just have to wait until it actually comes out" and I'm sure the shops will be selling their extra incentive copies at a more reasonable price.

Tuesday night, I'm pulling out all the stops, I'm deep-diving. I'm utilizing all the secret advanced search commands I learned in college. AND I thought I found one!

It was a listing on Google shopping for $4.99, so I'm like "Jackpot" and click "buy now" so I do, and it redirects me to checkout on the website, and I think to myself "sweet!" so I buy it.

I get my order confirmation, and IN BIG BOLD LETTERS at the top, it reads:

"PLEASE NOTE YOU MUST BUY ALL INCENTIVE QUALIFIERS TO GET A INCENTIVE COPY"

(I'm paraphasing a bit, and there was a bit more after that, but you get the idea)

So, I'm thinking "what?" and I go and actually browse the site I ordered from, and I somehow stumbled upon a wholesaler store, like the kind a comic book store would use to order bulk copies for the store.

Essentially, if I was a store, I would've placed an order for 25 main 2nd printing copies, and then I would've qualified for this incentive variant.

I was quick, and sent and email request to cancel, and got my money back, no problems. (I don't have the budget to but 25 copies of one book just to get the one I want. That's the whole reason I'm not paying $100 for a copy)

So its the day of release in my timezone. Everywhere is still sold out. Slowly but surely, the Ebay resellers begin to trickle in. Its averaging about $70 to $80.

Then I see it! By sheer luck or diligence or a wild combination of both -- there's a $20 copy. But the listing says "DEFECT" in big bold letters.

Undeterred, I think "How bad can it be?" as I don't really need a flawless copy, I just like collecting my pretties, you know?

There were pictures provided, along with the description: some of the color is faded off around the lower left staple

(circled below)

That's not shininess, its actually faded white.

So I bought it. And it arrived today. Its my wonderfully imperfect copy and I'm so happy.

As of today, the lowest is like $49.99 + shipping o Ebay. All the online shops don't have it, even though it came out less than a week ago. And its still not on my usual pre-order site.

Like, I dunno if the 2nd printing didn't sell as well, or maybe there was a manufacturing delay, but good lord, I did not expect this particular variant to be such a pain to obtain.

Like, it's only a 1:25!! I dunno how many 25s were actually printed, but my goodness. I know this is such a first world problem and I recognize at least half of the drama is self-inflicted by my own hubris and dedication to also getting a good deal.

But I'm just trying to buy a little treat for myself. damn.

[blueskiesandwindchimes]

The Sugar Queen

Mischievous and magical are the words that I would use to describe books by Sarah Addison Allen. I have read six books by this author and they are all very unique from typical adult female fiction that I have read. My favorite of the ones that I have read so far is called the Sugar Queen. I liked it so much that after reading a library copy, I went out and bought my own copy. Now I am currently in the process of re-reading it and savoring everything that I liked about it all over again.

The book is about a young woman, Josey, who is almost 30 but still lives with her mother and takes care of her full time. Her mother loves this arrangement and kind of guilts Josey into not having a life of her own. But all of that is about to change with the arrival of a female acquaintance from town who breaks in through Josey's window, is hiding in her closet, and refuses to leave. It is absolutely a tale of a young woman with low self-worth who ends up going on an adventure of self-discovery with a little magic thrown in along the way. I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for an interesting story.

While I have your attention here, might I recommend the book that I wrote as well to add to your physical or virtual library? My book is also a work of fiction. I spent the better part of my adult life, almost 20 years so far, with this story in my head waiting to come out. One year, while I was taking online classes for my masters degree, I had a I was working a phone answering job for a hospital. When the phone wasn't ringing and I wasn't doing school work, I finally started writing out this story. The characters spent years in my head evolving and aging along with me. I honestly think it worked out better that way because it ended up giving my story a lot more depth and life experience. So check it out and tell me what you think!

[moriche]

Hello!! For the firsts ask: 2, 4, C, R, 🐣 and 🖌️!

Aaah thank you for your question! I shall delve right in! 2 - First time meeting their best friend

Logically, Veryn probably had a best friend in the orphanage he grew up in - but I'm going to pick one where he's older. He went to the Arcane University at 17, on a scholarship. This meant money was scarce for him, and he often picked up small odd jobs to supplement his income. One of those jobs was at the University library, stocking books and copying lists. That's how he met Henantier, an older student who, like Veryn, loved to delve deep into the possibilities of magic. They became best friends, and in the end, briefly lovers. 4 - First time experiencing grief While celebrating the Old Life Festival as a child. Veryn never knew his parents, being left outside the orphanage of Saint Alessia at a few months old. During the Old Life Festival, it's a tradition to write letters and notes to the dead and to reflect on the past, and this tradition was something he grew up with. It's also something that left a deep impression on him - he wrote messages for his parents he presumed might be dead, but might just as easily be alive. C. First physical contact (handshake? hug? something else?)

I'm shipping Veryn together with Sharn Gra-Muzgob, your Friendly Neighbourhood Necromancer from Morrowind. His first physical contact with her is probably a handshake when they first meet each other - though I haven't actually written that bit in my fic :p R. First time cooking for the other

Ohhh, the first time he cooks for Sharn! I admittedly don't have a specific moment in mind - I'm thinking he cooks for her the first time when he's waiting for her to come home and her work at the Mages Guild runs overtime. What I do have is a little scene of him actually cooking for her in a situation just like this!

Veryn left before dinner, his freshly restocked potions carefully wrapped inside his bag, roaming around the market until he decided on a large kwama egg and some greens. He headed for Sharn’s apartment, letting himself in with a key of his own. The door creaked open, and he chuckled to himself. No more breaking in. He left the food simmering on a low fire, stirring it every so often while he waited for her to return. She was home late, arriving with her jaw clenched and fire in her eyes. “What’s wrong?” he asked while embracing her, breathing in the subtle scent of her magic, standing on his toes to nuzzle her forehead.

🐣 - First piece you ever wrote (share a snippet or description)

I still got that! So the very first stories I wrote in Dutch are from 2003 - but I also have my first snippets of fic I wrote in English from 2007 - and how fitting that they are for Oblivion! I'm proud to say my grasp of English has made leaps and bounds since then (it's a foreign language for me).

She screamed when she saw the scamps coming again. And again. Would this never end? One moment she was at the fields of Kvatch, another moment she just stepped into the Gate. And now she was in that tower. Again. The soldier ran to the scamps to fight them, but she just stood there. She must have panicked, she realised later. When a scamp came running at her she shot a fireball at him. Two fireballs and a few slashes with her sword did the trick. She had readied herself to cast another spell at the second scamp. She released the fireball, but suddenly the air had felt thicker. The scamp didn’t flew through the air as the other did. The soldier had taken its place. She remembered everything becoming black, but in dreams, reality is different. Someone shook her shoulder and when she looked behind her she saw the dremora. Its terrible, distorted, humanlike face stared at her. Again. She started to scream. “Calm down!” A spell was cast at her. The dremora changed into a hooded man, bended over her. “One of the few who have a nightmare, it seems.” She withdrew from the man. “Who are you?” The man smiled benign. “I am a Speaker of the Dark Brotherhood. The Night Mother called you to become one of us.”

🖌️ - First character you created, or first character you wrote for I've been creating characters as long as I can remember. As a child, I had some kind of fantasy world with elves who lived in treehouses, and I used to draw them a lot. Princes and princesses and knights and adventurers, modelled for example on Ronja the Robber's Daughter by Astrid Lindgren and later on books like Hatchet by Gary Paulsen. The first fanfic I wrote was in Dutch, in 2003 for Harry Potter - and it was Marauders Fic. I was hip almost two decades in advance 😂 There were a few Oblivion characters too, some concepts for Fable, but I've forgotten a lot of that, and they weren't very rounded or deep. First serious, in-depth character I created was Aleksej, a vampire who got into trouble with the Russian mafia who fled to Amsterdam. There he got into trouble with a Dutch criminal mastermind, and ended up working for her after saving her from a drive-by shootout. I was 15 or 16 at the time, and my best friend and me were playing a roleplay campaign based on Vampire the Masquerade, with a dash of GTA Vice City and San Andreas on top.

[seekers-who-are-lovers]

The Yatagarasu OST is here. I am holding it in my hands. Though I’ve listened to it countless times (even created my own Yatagarasu-inspired playlist while waiting for the OST; if you are interested, you can find it here) before I got my physical copy today, it is so fulfilling to listen to the CD in big speakers.

Anyway, this is so amusing, Yukiya’s image(s) smacked between the princesses’ just goes to show he’s also a contender. I love it.

There’s also a message from Chisato Abe:

For the first time it was decided to be animated, “What do you expect from anime?" I was asked, and as a particularly strong request, I said, "I want you to do your best with the music." In the past, I had an experience in the animation of my favourite work, and I couldn't enjoy it at all because the sound didn't match my image even though the picture was beautiful. I was worried that I would be sad if the same thing happened to the original author's anime, but this ended up being unfounded.

This is because I witnessed that sound directors, voice actors, and other sound-related professionals are doing their work perfectly as professionals at the after-play site I visited. And during the tour, it was none other than Eishi Segawa who was sitting next to me. He answered amateur questions very kindly, and the fact that this anime is a full film scoring, that Mr. Segawa himself is present at the afterplay every time, and that he makes music while having a thorough meeting with the people at the scene. I was taught and so on. At that time, I was sure that this would definitely be a good thing.

The results are as you heard.

Mr. Segawa, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me wonderful music. Thank you very much!

The words from the Director Yoshiaki Kyougoku:

I can't forget the time when I received a demo song from Mr. Segawa that evoked the world of Yamauchi.

Music that is heavy and strict, yet colourful. The long history of the mountain and the drama of the eight people living there seemed to appear in front of me, and I was sure that this would be a great play.

In addition, the film scoring that is composed according to the video is a feature of this work.

It is a method that is quite difficult to achieve in a TV series without time, but Mr. Segawa showed up at the production site surprisingly vigourously and made all the songs while communicating. By composing while considering the balance of all elements such as pictures, dialogue, and sound effects, it has become an ideal theatre partner of "directing drama with music".

Especially in the scene of choosing episodes 12 and 13, it feels like a first book. Despite the lack of big movement, I can't take my eyes off the tremendous tension. This would not have been possible without Mr. Segawa's music.

Every time a new song arrived, I thought, "I want to take more videos and listen to this music carefully," so I'm really happy that you released a soundtrack.

Please feel the rich worldview of Yamauchi created by music.

And from the composer himself, Eishi Segawa:

Is animation directing a technique that moves intermittent fragments of still images in the mind of the viewer? Then, the theatre partner should also be more likely to play a role in assisting the production in all scenes. If you actually write music along the scene, you should be able to participate in the strangeness of careful superposition more than ever before, and then you can decipher the contrast with adjacent scenes, and the composer will also explore the moment when the absence of music complements the dialogue. You can do it. In addition, it was certain that if you abandon the music and stick to sound design, you should be able to express the loneliness, which is very important to this story, more boldly.

These thoughts were the intuitiveness I gained when I read the original work, and in the interaction with the directors in charge of each episode, I realised that it was inevitable to choose.

As expected the tracks “The Golden Raven” and “Yukiya of Taruhi” have notes that are similar. It is like an overlapping theme. Both “Sumio’s theme” and “Rokon’s theme” give you an impression of danger, threatening, grandiose. Although Rokon’s theme lasts 7 minutes. The longest track in the OST. BUT my most favourite of all is “Hope.”

This piece is playing when Yukiya told Wakamiya:

“You leave yourself wide open.”

Reminds me of my favourite Arvo Pärt composition, “Summa.” That kind of thought-provoking, emotionally satisfying piece of music that pierces you. Waxing poetry here I know. Apologies. I got carried away. Anyway, I love the soundtrack. So listen to it if you can in any platform that you can, you won’t regret it.

[nardonotes]

16 sep '24

8:18pm

IM SO TIRED!!!!! MY BODY HURTS!!!!!!!! I WANT TO SLEEP BUT I ALSO HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO DO!!!!!!!!!! (ᴗ_ ᴗ。) but today my alarm woke me up at 7am but i stayed in bed till 7:40... i slept well too and had a crazy dream but i forgot what happened,,, i just rmbr it being crazy (good-ish?) to the point where i wanted to go back to sleep to finish it but ended up just forcing myself out of bed,, fufufuff~ and THEN i went to class :< which is actually a :> cause it was fun! i did some black and white designs for design class and the two hours passed by so fast,, after that i had a 3 hrs break and just walked home, rest for a bit, then went out to town to send my cv to this photo printing shop (fujifilm) for my work experience. they said they dont usually take work experience (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) but it's ok cause i have two other places i can apply for work experience (it's mandatory in my course) i been going to fujifilm for years now, literally since it opened too, they know my name and email off by heart cause i always get my film develop there so i really hope they let me in!!!! it's only till christmas sniff.... BUT ANYWAYS, after i gave them that- i went to buy a sketchbook cause my lecturer said it would be a good idea just to have one where i can draw whatever and i bought one (1) pencil LOL.

then had a 2 hours class right after, but it was chill. nothing too serious and just worked on updating my cv and cover letter :3 after class, I WENT HOME AND ATE :D i dont usually like chicken but THIS CHICKEN WAS REALLY FUCKING GOOD MAN,,, i had it with rice and it was so filling. and while i was washing my dishes, my sisters arrived home and AFTER THEY ate,, we went to the park with my sisters friend and her baby. he's so big now sniff,, i rmbr when he was literally a few months old and tiny af. now he looks about 3 years old but hes only 1 years old. they're leaving to live in amsterdam in a month or two and it's so sad cause i only just got closer to her. it's ok tho cause amsterdam is close enough, and her parents still live here so she'll be in and out i think :)) we got gelato before going home and i got kinder bueno flavoured (THE LAST SCOOP TOO) it was so good. i dont usually eat ice cream out of the blue like that, i usually get a drink instead but since it was just a scoop i had some.

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

what a long ass day fr,, i know im going to sleep good tonight too. i bought Notes of a Crocodile, The Analects of Confucius, and The Temple of the Golden Pavilion on my kobo (ereader). I do plan to buy the physical copies of all three, but not right now and it was just cheaper to buy it on the ereader.. I've read a few chapters of the temple of the golden pavilion before but never continued but my bestiana spoiled the ending and now i want to finish it bc the ending was a good ahh ending (imo). i can't wait to read before i sleep tonight,, reading so fun huhuhhu..... (⸝⸝⸝╸▵╺⸝⸝⸝)

these days, i've been really into my lil tech stuff again and i really want to homebrew a ps vita. i homebrewed my old nintendo 3ds but sold it for a [REDACTED] reason lol. i think a ps vita is cooler anyways. i also been really into micro journalling and coding. btw i cant code but i do like listening to ppl talk about coding and what they've coded. i wish i was smart enough to do allat.. i think i could if i really put my heart to it but right now i'm really liking my course. ill probably talk about it some more in the future but for now, i have written a fucking book and nobody reading allat!!! so im going to do my little me time before bed time and then go to sleep ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-

goodnight to me, and my precious bed, and my precious favourite girl in the world and and and- [GUNSHOTS]

[monobmp]

buzzes around annoyingly in ur ear

any billford thoughts to share with the class… I HUNGERRRRRRR

BOY DO I!!!!!!!!!!! You know I was about to post about how I go about with my BillFord stuff but I just didn't have a reason to, but now I do LMFAO. Big warning, I'm a big yapper. They call me yapmaxxer

I don't know, this might not be exactly answering your question but with the BillFord in my mind, I wanna try to be strictly close to canon as possible. But with some stuff I wanna draw of them, it doesn't really align?

Like I love drawing Bill being physically clingy to Ford but I want to portray that in a way where it's not like... Traditional romantic gestures?? If that makes sense? I don't think this is canon (which is why I'm a little mixed on uploading stuff like that because I love sticking to canon!!!) but in my world where I can put a crumb of my own thoughts into it... I think it'd be like that.

What I'm saying is that I think Bill doesn't truly grasp how human romance works (especially emotionally), so he's just copying what he see's from human memories, which is just mostly, if not all, physical gestures from his POV. Mixed in with the fact that I also think Ford is a little socially awkward in more of the romance side. So mix in those two and you get a margarita mix of awkward romance I suppose.

ALSO while he does copy those mannerisms, I do think that (in my version) he would like to feel that type of contact, since he is a mind creature thing and it took him 30+ years to actually meet face to face with Ford. And might I say, probably touch starved but that's going way off canon but IT MAKES SENSE RIGHT.

I DON'T KNOW It's hard for me to describe the BillFord-isms in my mind, but I hope that gets the point across on how I think of them. If not, I will be happy to explain it in more depth.

Uhmmm aside from that, I think it's interesting how Bill is kind of held back when he talks to Ford pre-betrayal. Like, playing Chess and asking for his company and riddles and such... LIKE WITH GIDEON AND DIPPER, HE DGAF, HE WILL PULL OUT TEETH AND A HUMAN HEAD FOR THOSE TWO. But with Poindexter over here, he gets somewhat more human treatment.... Maybe he just hates kids LMFAO

I think a bulk of my BillFord interest lies on the pre-portal time (before Ford went into the portal, but still knew of Bill's betrayal). I haven't read the Book of Bill properly (I'M STILL WAITING ON MY COPY THAT MIGHT ARRIVE IN 2 WEEKS GRRRR) but I find it interesting how Bill SEEMS (not sure because I didn't read the full book) to still like Ford fondly even after everything, especially in comparison to how he acts towards Stanley LMFAO, HE HATESSSS THAT MAN. LIKE ONE OF THE PASSWORDS ON THE "https://thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com/" ABOUT HOW STANLEY BEAT BILL AND HE WAS KIND OF GLAZING FORD A BIT FOR BEING THE BETTER TWIN. IDK maybe he still thinks of Ford as his boy toy or something. He does seem to take the world unseriously until something bad happens to him

Anyways, I could go on and on but it's just me recanting canon info 😭 Sorry it's been mostly Bill centric. My interest in Ford only popped up recently. Back when the show was airing, I kind of hated Ford because he was mean to Stanley 😭😭😭😭😭 and now I'm like damn he can get it LMFAO

[televinita]

Reading Triage

Well it's been almost a month since the last (library) one, so off we go; lots to be immediately excited about!

1. Hurricane Summer - Asha Bromfield: current read, roughly 50% in. It's painful how awful some of her relatives are, and I'm baffled that she gets so upset about her aunt calling her a slut for super innocent behaviors only to...immediately get frisky with the first boy who charms her?? Truly not beating the allegations here -- but it's also incredibly beautiful writing about a setting and culture I truly don't think I've read before (Jamaica, especially from the perspective of a Canadian citizen).

[edit: loved it]

2. Even If It Breaks Your Heart - Erin Hahn: 60% done but I've been working on this one for 3 solid weeks now, struggling thru first audio and then ebook on phone, then learned that county next door FINALLY bought a physical copy after all. Part of the struggle is formatting, but the rest is that it wants and deserves to be 4 stars so bad, but the You'd Be Mine-levels of jackhole in this love interest are dragging it down.

[edit: it did not get better but I finished]

3. Queen of Junk Island - Alexandra Mae Jones: so damned pretty that I'm reading it despite the fact that it's literally just a mid-2000s queer YA novel that had to wait until its author was old enough to publish it in 2022, in terms of both being set then and having its entire focus on becoming aware of/coming to terms with her non-straight sexuality. Which was absolutely never the kind of book I looked for. But I REALLY want the story of them cleaning up the family cottage from all the trash a previous renter left there. (side note: how did I manage to randomly pick two Canadian authors from my shelf browsing??).

[edit: worst book of the year with zero competition]

4. The Wishing Game - Meg Schaffer: I kicked it back unread last time but my request in the county next door has just come through. I really hope I love this one. Everyone I trust does, and it really seems up my alley, but I'm so terrified of reading this at the Wrong Time and it coming up short that I'm actually scared to start.

[edit: it was really lovely! glad I got to it]

5. Liar's Beach - Katie Cotugno: seems like a good summer YA thriller, and it has a sequel (companion book?) coming out in August.

[edit: I have read so many YA horror/thrillers this summer but I didn't quite get to this one. Later!]

6. The Dare - Natasha Preston: I'm expecting even less from this one than The Haunting, but it was available so what the hell. And at least this one actually takes place in summer.

[edit: least interesting of the 4 I've read from her, and an I Know What You Did Last Summer knockoff, but still worth it]

7. Between You, Me & the Honeybees - Amelia Diane Coombs: I don't like "our families are business rivals" stories, but I DO like stories about teens who would rather stay home and work for the family business than go to college, and this cover is so pretty that I'm ready to give it a shot.

[edit: the rivalry wasn't even an issue for me, and though I did have other things that weren't my favorite, this was an incredible YA contemporary]

8. The Spellshop - Sarah Beth Durst: releases in 2 days and will be bumped to IMMEDIATELY NEXT in the queue as soon as my library makes it available (I'm first in line). I'm trying to contain my excitement and moderate my hype levels but it's too pretty!!!!

[edit: five solid stars, everything I hoped for and more, one of the best books of the year]

9. (MAYBE) The Middle of the Night - Riley Sager: I don't think I'm high enough up in the request line to get this by the end of the month, but if it does happen to come in, this is the other book I'll drop everything for to read ASAP. My interest in this is mostly FOMO, and I'm kind of annoyed to have been caught up in it because EVERYONE reads his books immediately upon release, but I do generally enjoy them.

[edit: didn't arrive in time but definitely coming in August]

10. (MAYBE) Out On A Limb - Hannah Bonam-Young: I have read surprisingly little straightforward adult romance this year and I'm kind of missing it. I've had this hold paused for a bit but I might be ready to un-pause it soon.

[author's note: but then I wasn't!]

BONUS: AUDIOBOOKS

The Hundred and One Dalmatians - Dodie Smith (it is so hard not to shorten the title to 101!): a reread of a book I remember surprisingly little from for something I put on my "Top 100 Books Of All Time" list at age 19, but still remember fondly, because I got desperate & squirrelly for something to help me fall asleep.

[edit: not sure it would still make the list now but still really enjoyed]

2. Marvel's What If... Loki Was Worthy - Madeleine Roux: library doesn't have a physical copy, which is annoying because I hate reading on my phone but I also don't know if I can tolerate an audiobook that doesn't have the Correct Voices (though I really liked the 5 minutes of sample I heard), so I've been having to juggle this one until I can get both formats at the same time on Libby, to switch between them.

TBQH, my excitement for this has died down a little since I found out about in December (didn't release until April), but at this point I've been waiting long enough that I just kind of Want To Know.

[edit: what a fun cracky time, recommended]