#still need to find new thread tho

[nyxsbotwtapestry]

DONEEEE

finished the corner swirlies :D

and barely made it

look how little thread is left

anyhow

406 stitches in 2 hours

38.8% done

[droolypupboy]

thread of things you can do to feel more puppy!!

warning, this is not for puppy regressors!! this is an nsfw post and probably not safe for u if you regress while online. stay safe, sfw puppies.

anyway. back to content for puppies who r fucking degenerates. i’m a switch & not only do i own a puppy sub but i am also one!! this is applicable for both partnered and solo pups, dw, there’s likely to be something here for everyone.

૮( ˃ ꒳ ˂)ა

◟/づ🦴

🐾 grind on pillows and/or furniture!! pillows are an accessible option for everyone, not everyone has furniture they can feel comfortable doing that on because maybe they don’t live alone or what have you. but pillows are an amazing option for any and all needy puppies.

🐾 snacks can help u feel puppy a lotttt!! while it can be fun to have your partner feed you little treats, you can also absolutely do this on your own. while you’re not in the headspace, set up small little snacks for you to have for when you follow rules or actions you set up for yourself. ppl often underestimate how satisfying solo play can be!! but it can be awesome. good ideas for pup snacks can be small cookies reminiscent of dog treats (scooby snack graham cracker cookies if you’re in the u.s., highly recommend), little cubes of meat and cheese, or dry cereal. it doesn’t have to be those things though, it can be anything broken up into small pieces. be creative!!

🐾 some people enjoy eating or drinking out of dog bowls but for some, that’s inaccessible or maybe just not to their taste. another option can be water bottles with spouts you have to suck on (oral fixation is so so so puppy!!). smaller sized snack bowls also work well for this. anything notably small can help a lot with headspace i find because a large part of puppyspace for many is feeling tiny and :3. if you know you know pfffft.

🐾 here’s a simple one!! have an article of clothing or jewelry you wear only during puppy time :) of course there’s the obvious ones; harnesses, ears, collars. but even just a bracelet or a sweater can work if you only wear it during pupspace and get your brain to associate it.

🐾 if you go into the headspace online (as i’m sure many of you reading do if ur here), you can do certain typing things to help you feel even more puppy. using certain emojis or doing a little :3 or :> it’s pretty common to have your voice change tone and your words get more simple when in a smaller mindset so it can be fun to have your typing also reflect this!! typing out “woof” or “arf” r silly but they r cute and i recommend it, 10/10.

🐾 find something you can safely bite on!! nothing you could choke on or that could hurt you. chewelry is rlly good for this, i’d recommend looking on etsy for some. but you can also just buy a new actual dog toy (fresh, not used, clean it before). puppies need to teethe!! the urge to bite is super common.

🐾 if you have enough privacy, play fetch with yourself. why not?? you can bounce a ball off the walls and even if you’re in a small room where you don’t have far to get to it, you’re still pretty likely to get excitable abt it!! if you’re doing this outside don’t put the toy in your mouth, if you’re indoors you can probably feel more comfortable to do this safely if you’re using something big enough not to choke yourself with.

🐾 ride toys!! it’s hard to do things yourself, riding or suction cupping a toy to a wall so you can just lay down and move ur needy hips against it can be wonderful for puppyspace.

🐾 suck your fingers or your partners fingers!! puppies need our mouths occupied. gently chewing on fingers, probably not enough to hurt (maybe tho, good for you), just enough to feel like you’re gnawing a bit, is SO so so good. this doesn’t even have to be sexual, drifting off to sleep with fingers or a gag (nothing that you could accidentally swallow) in your mouth can help you wake up puppy!! i wouldn’t recommend sleeping with a gag in long term, that’s more for naps or on special occasions. like i mentioned before; oral fixation oral fixation oral fixation!! you should also suck toys and cock 🤍🤍

🐾 wag your hips or kick your feet!! it’s like wagging ur tail :> wiggles can come naturally when in pupspace so embrace them as ur “phantom tail” pfffft

🐾 “puppyparts” “puppycunt” “puppyholes” “puppycock” “puppyanything”🏃🏃

remember, if some of these aren’t applicable to you and how you like to play, you are not any less puppy. these are general, not one size fits all. there are countless different ways to be puppy and i don’t think any two people should be doing it the EXACT same way. we all have our quirks, we all have our individual headspaces.

have fun and play safe, puppies 🐾🦴🎾

[connorsui]

“Earth and pine, breath and heart” || Halsin ||

Synopsis: Amidst the quiet nature of the forest, Halsin finds a new kind of peace in your shared intimacy, realizing that you are the missing piece he's been searching for beyond the balance of the wilds.

Genre/warnings: fluff, a tad bit of slow burn, itty bitty soft moments, quiet intimacy, emotional vulnerability, halsin lowkey loving you …no warnings tho …halsin ain't about that angst

Note: halsin has been on my radar for like awhile …I needed to make a fic out of my bear man

w.c: 1.1K

The warmth of Halsin’s breath whispered across your skin, delicate yet undeniable, carrying with it not just the scent of pine and earth but the very essence of the forest itself. His presence was vast, ancient, yet it didn’t overwhelm—you felt steadied, as though in his nearness you had discovered a sanctuary amidst the wilderness of life. The air between you hummed, alive with unspoken thoughts, the silence more profound than any words.

Neither of you dared break that silence, a fragile thread woven from the crackling of the fire and the rhythmic night sounds. Halsin’s eyes, deep and unyielding like the forest at midnight, flickered in the firelight. His gaze held no urgency, no demand—only a patient curiosity, like the pull of the moon on the ocean, inexorable yet gentle.

“You are different,” he said at last, his voice a low rumble, steady as the roots of an ancient tree. It felt as though he were speaking from some place beyond this moment, reaching for something timeless.

A soft smile ghosted across your lips, but you could not hold back the curiosity his words stirred within you. “In what way do you see me, exactly?”

His brow furrowed slightly, a crease forming between his eyes as though he were contemplating something larger than either of you. “In you,” he said slowly, his voice hushed with reverence, “I see a reflection of home. Not the wild, untamed places I’ve known, but a kind of stillness. A peace that settles, like the calm after a storm. You carry it with you, though you may not realize it.”

His words took root within you, warmth blooming in your chest like the first light of dawn. His hand, rough from years spent in the wilds, was surprisingly tender as he turned his palm upwards, meeting your fingers with a gentleness that felt like a promise, unspoken but deeply understood.

"The wilds will always be part of me," he murmured, more to himself than to you, his gaze distant for a moment, as though searching the horizon for something he had long lost. "But lately... I’ve begun to wonder if there’s more. If balance, in all its beauty, is enough." His eyes found yours again, and in them, you saw not the fierce protector of nature, but the man—uncertain, searching, longing. "Now, I find myself drawn to you, as if you’re the part of me I didn’t know I was missing."

There was a weight to his words, a quiet intensity that made your breath catch. The world seemed to still, the sounds of the forest fading until all that remained was the rhythm of your heartbeat and the warmth of his hand in yours. In the space between words, something passed between you—a recognition, a quiet understanding of something neither of you had named, yet both had felt growing, quietly and inevitably.

You smiled softly, a flush rising in your cheeks as your thumb traced slow circles across his palm. It was such a simple thing, this touch, yet it felt like so much more—a bridge between you, a silent affirmation of the connection that had taken root.

What you hadn’t realized, or perhaps had only begun to understand, was that Halsin was as captivated by you as the forest was by the rain. His gaze lingered on the curve of your lips, the way your hair caught the firelight, making the ordinary seem luminous. You spoke, and he listened—not just to your words, but to the melody of your voice, filling the spaces between the trees and reverberating in places within him that had long been silent.

Without thinking, your knee brushed against his, and you didn’t pull away. In that touch, there was no hesitation, no uncertainty. There was only the quiet thrum of connection, as natural and inevitable as the turning of seasons.

Halsin’s breath caught, his chest rising and falling in a slow rhythm. His eyes, dark and fathomless, never left yours, and yet within them, you saw something tender, something vulnerable. Gently, almost hesitantly, he lifted your hand, his thumb grazing the soft skin of your fingers before tilting your chin upward, guiding your gaze to meet his.

Even sitting, he seemed to tower over you, a force of nature contained within a man. Yet, there was no dominance in his gesture, no need to assert power—only a quiet tenderness, as though he had found something precious in you and could not look away.

His thumb brushed your lower lip, so soft it might have been a dream, and in that instant, the world seemed to fall away, leaving only the two of you, suspended in a moment both infinite and impossibly fragile.

The air between you hummed with unspoken possibility, and then, as though drawn by something greater than either of you, he leaned in. His lips met yours in a slow, deliberate kiss—a gentle, careful press that felt like the first touch of spring after a long winter. It was tender, yet full of promise—a beginning, not an ending.

When he pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the quiet space between words. His eyes, so often distant and watchful, were soft now, vulnerable in a way that took your breath away.

"You are my peace," he whispered, the words a quiet confession, a truth that had long taken root and was only now finding the light.

The silence that followed was full, rich with meaning, like the stillness before dawn. And as you looked into his eyes, you understood that this was no fleeting moment. It was a seed, planted in the fertile ground of shared breath and whispered words, and it would grow—quietly, steadily—into something deeper, something that would stand the test of time.

Halsin’s thumb brushed your lip once more, lingering, as though he could not bear to let go just yet. "The peace I’ve sought for so long," he said, his voice faltering slightly, "it’s not in the wilds alone... I see it here, in you."

Under the watchful stars, you came to understand that peace was not a destination, but something carried within—growing in the quiet spaces between heartbeats, in the brush of a hand, in the unspoken certainty of a love that needed no words to be felt.

Halsin, with his unshakable connection to the untamed wilds, had found a new home—in you.

I want another kiss like a selfish woman that I am

[jburrgf]

Prudence Girl.

We could stay alone, you and me and this temptation, sipping on your lips hanging on by thread.

pairing: joe burrow lsu x reader (becoming enemies to lovers)

summary: after a year at LSU, your best friend finally convinces you apply to be a prudence girl.

description: college life, frat party, kiss

—————————————————————

It was a relief to be far from home. From Ohio in general.

Now, I have to put up with my best friend, Tracy Evans, rambling about the fraternity and sorority homecoming at LSU and how much she’d love to be part of Prudence.

Prudence, by the way, is a sorority mostly run by a clique of cheerleaders. They all live in a huge house, practically Republican HQ, where they throw parties almost every week.

I find it cosmic and weird that the name is also a condom brand. But hey, no judgments here.

“We have to go, y/n.” Tracy grabs my shoulders, shaking them. “We can’t miss this!”

“Freshmen can’t miss it, and we’re not freshmen,” I say, winking at her. “At least, not technically. I still feel like one, tho.”

Tracy rolls her green eyes. “That’s where you’re wrong, y/n. It’s not just freshmen who can’t skip out. Prudence pledges can’t either.”

“And why does that matter to us?” I ask, frowning.

“Because, my dear, if we pass tonight’s initiation, we’ll be Prudence pledges,” she says, winking as my jaw slowly drops. “I signed us both up.”

“You what?” I get up from my chair, furious. “If you want to be a Prudence Girl, Tracy, go ahead, but don’t drag me into it!”

Tracy rolls her eyes again. “Don’t be dramatic,” she says, stroking my cheek. “You don’t have to go through initiation if you don’t want to, or even join Prudence. I just want your company, you know, moral support and stuff.”

With her puppy-dog eyes on me, it was impossible to refuse. Sighing heavily, I nodded.

“You owe me, Tracy Evans!” I growl, grabbing my black jacket and throwing it over a white T-shirt that says, “Don’t look at my tits, perv” as I leave the room.

I walked across the dorm with a scowl on my face. Sure, it’s good to be away from home, but it’s not like Cincinatti is a paradise. It’s not even close.

“Hey, y/LN!” I turned my head to the left, where Alyssa Powell was calling me. “Love the shirt.”

I roll my eyes with a faint smile. “What’s up, Powell?”

Me and Alyssa knew each other from the hallways of LSU. She wasn't like a friend of mine, but she was cool to talk to.

“I need ya’ help, y/n,” she says, biting her lip. “You know I don’t get along with Abby Griffin, right?”

“I think the whole campus knows, after she grabbed the principal’s megaphone and announced she’d make your life hell.” Aly grins at the memory. “Go on.”

“I need a reason to stay in Prudence,” she continues. “And a great reason would be to mentor a pledge during initiation. And I saw your name on the list…”

Oh, no.

“Aly… Look, you’re awesome, smart, funny…extraordinary!” Aly smiles, blushing. “But no way.”

“Why not?” She pouts. Oh boy, here come the sad faces again.

“Because I have zero interest in being part of Prudence,” I reply, tucking a strand of curls behind her ear. “Mentor Tracy. She really wants to join you guys.”

Aly sighs. “She already has a mentor,” she says, her voice pleading. “Abby made sure every pledge had one before I could even consider it. I’m surprised you don’t have one yet.”

“Oh, that’s simple. I hate every Prudence Girl,” I say, shrugging. “Including you. But I hate you with love, you know?”

I watch Alyssa laugh, throwing her head back.

“Y/n, look, I wouldn’t be here begging if it wasn’t important,” she says, grabbing my hands. “My mom graduated as a Prudence Girl, so did my aunt, and my older sister. It’s a family thing, you know? I can’t screw it up just because the leader hates me for sleeping with Joe.”

“Wait, what?”

I had no idea about it. Fresh gossip, I guess?

Joe Burrow was the new sensation on campus for the last six months. He was QB1 from the LSU Tigers and didn't lose any games in the regular season — at least not until now. I didn't know that guy very well, and honestly, I like it that way. I'm not into jocks, especially the ones with massive egos.

“Yeah. She doesn’t like me because I hooked up with her boyfriend once, that’s all,” she says, shrugging. “Please, y/n…”

I stare into her brown eyes, at her wild curls and clothes far too bold for a university.

“Okay. On one condition,” I say, watching her smile grow wider and wider.

“Anything!”

“I want a room with Tracy, just the two of us. That, or no deal!” I cross my arms.

“Deal!”

[…]

When I return to my dorm, Tracy is there, jumping around to an ‘80s song, dressed in pink leggings, a black crop top, leg warmers, and a headband holding back her blonde hair. She looked ridiculous. Ridiculously beautiful.

“What the hell are you doing, Evans?” I ask, climbing the bunk bed ladder. If joining Prudence means having my own bed on the floor, it might be worth it.

“Aerobics,” she says, smiling. “I do it every day after class for two hours. It’s exhausting, but it works.”.

“You should try it.”

“No thanks. I prefer my soft butt,” I say sarcastically. “Oh, by the way, I’m doing the initiation and becoming a Prudence Girl.”

“What? Why?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be happy?” I frown.

“I am, of course I am,” she smiles. “But why? You were so set against it this morning.”

I sigh. “Alyssa Powell asked me,” I shrug. “If she’s not my mentor, Abby Griffin will kick her out of Prudence.”

.“Remind me to thank her later.”

I lay back on my pillow, thinking about what it would be like to share a house with dozens of girls. Rent is $100, slightly less than the dorm, but that’s not reason enough to join a sorority.

“How does this initiation work, anyway?” I ask.

“It’s really simple, almost childish,” she says, rolling her eyes. “The guys eat or drink something, then kiss us. If we guess what it was, we’re in.”

“Seriously? That’s it?”

“Almost childish, like I said,” she grins.

Then it hits me. “Wait! Guys? What guys?”

“What other guys, silly? Prudence Girls kiss Prudence Boys,” Tracy bites her lip. “I can’t wait to kiss one of them.”

I rub my face with both hands, already regretting agreeing to this mess.

“I bet you can’t.”

[…]

Prudence House was packed, full of students. Nobody cared that it was the initiation for the new Prudence pledges because it was one of the most anticipated parties of the year—alongside the Prudence fraternity’s homecoming, the Kappa farewell, and the random Acacia parties, all of them Republican houses.

Tracy made me wear one of her dresses, shorter and tighter than I had imagined. My best friend did my makeup and hair, not because I can’t get ready on my own, but because I take forever doing it.

In just an hour, I was perfectly ready, waiting for the campus lights to go out and the pink lights of the Prudence sorority, in the back street, to take over. The house was ridiculously large—after all, it housed almost thirty girls—with many rooms, many bathrooms, and a huge party hall. It was in this hall that I stopped to observe the beige walls.

“Stop looking at things like that, you look like a child,” Tracy murmured, elbowing me.

“Sorry, mom,” I teased, hiding a smile. “This place feels like a museum.”

Tracy didn’t respond, maybe because she agreed or maybe because Abby Griffin was making her way toward us, looking determined.

Abby Griffin was the type of girl with queen bee energy. And she really was, technically. For the past two years, she was the “Prudence Queen”. I never knew how we became friends — actually, I didn’t even have the idea that she knew who I was.

“Y/n y/ln, I presume,” she said, eyeing me with superiority. “Alyssa’s new recruit.”

“In the flesh,” I smiled at her.

“The initiation will start shortly, in the backyard. If you're late, you’re out.” I could see in her eyes she wanted to add "along with Alyssa," but she held back.

“We’ll be there.”

Tracy squeezed my hand and pulled me outside in a matter of seconds, making me roll my eyes dramatically.

When we arrived outside, a line of women stretched across the lawn, their nervous and anxious faces clearly marking them as potential pledges. Everything would depend on a stupid kiss from a guy.

Alyssa found me when I got to the end of the line; including Tracy and me, there were twelve of us, the maximum number allowed per semester. Aly smiled and held my hands.

“Your room is already reserved,” she whispered. Aly glanced around, checking the area before leaning in to whisper, “Coffee candy and mint gum.” To disguise her words, Aly gave me a quick peck. “See you later, Prudence Girl.”

I held back the urge to groan that "Prudence Girl" and "Prudence Boy" sounded like names for a girl group and boy band—and they also actively reminded me of condoms, of course. I could make that joke later, after surviving the initiation just because a fling had kindly asked me to.

Tracy watched us with a smile; a nod from her confirmed she had heard what Aly said.

I would call this cheating if I cared about this whole mess.

“Welcome, everyone—brothers, sisters, pledges, and nosy students,” Abby Griffin began, silencing the crowd. “Tonight, we’ll be welcoming our new sisters—those who, of course, pass the initiation.”

Tracy squeezed my hand. Sneaky little thing.

“The initiation is as follows: we have a dozen Prudence Boys here, but you won’t see them until after you've kissed them.” At that, each mentor handed their pledge a black blindfold and placed it over our eyes. “Each guy has tasted something different—maybe a strawberry, maybe whipped cream, maybe vodka... Your job, during the kiss, is to figure out what was in his mouth before he kissed you. Good luck.”

Apparently, a line of twelve boys stood in front of us, aligned like we were. But we wouldn’t be kissed all at once.

I had to endure the sounds of sloppy kisses for several long minutes, along with guesses of foods or drinks—all of them correct.

Tracy squeezed my hand one last time before letting go.

It was her turn.

More kissing sounds, longer than usual. I rolled my eyes beneath the blindfold.

“Coffee candy!” Tracy shouted, earning applause and cheers.

Now it was my turn.

I felt the approach of someone who smelled of cheap cologne and sweat, and I automatically grimaced. This was clearly Abby’s doing.

But before the guy could mess up my night, a voice stopped him.

“Step aside, Oliver.” The body heat from the boy faded as he stepped away, and someone else approached. This one smelled of Dior Savage and coconut shampoo, and I honestly like it more. “She deserves someone better.”

“And you’re that someone better, Burrow?” Oliver, I assumed, yelled.

There was no response. Instead, soft lips covered mine, kissing me gently, while a hand slid to my neck, holding me in place, at his mercy.

An overwhelming sense of déjà vu hit me.

But his mouth didn’t taste like mint gum. Oliver surely would have, but this intruder had interfered.

I didn’t know whether to thank him for sparing me from the sweaty guy or curse him for confusing my mind.

I was still being kissed. His lips pressed lovingly against mine, and at the end of that affectionate wildness, three soft pecks were left as his hand released my neck.

Oh, crap. Crap, crap, crap.

The once-noisy crowd had gone completely silent. Not a single person was saying anything.

Nothing. Not even a whisper.

I focused on the taste left in my mouth, where his tongue had roamed freely.

“What the hell was that, Burrow?” Abby yelled, probably storming toward us.

I didn’t dare remove my blindfold, afraid of what I’d see. Of who I’d see.

“You weren’t supposed to kiss her!” Abby continued.

Someone leaned toward me, and from the scent, it was him again.

“Do you have a boyfriend, darling?” he asked with the sweetest voice he could do it.

“No.”

“Then yes, I can kiss you.” I pressed my lips together as they argued.

“No, you can’t! You took Olly’s place!” Abby shouted back.

I cleared my throat, embarrassed.

“Chocolate,” I suddenly said, silencing them. “You ate chocolate before...”

A soft gasp escaped the boy, low and pleading, before his mouth claimed mine again.

Oh my God...

“Joseph Burrow!” Abby shrieked, furious, while the boy ignored her completely, more interested in caressing my lips with his own.

Damn, this feels so good!

A strand of my hair was tucked behind my ear as my lips were reluctantly released.

“Congratulations, Ohio girl. You’re a Prudence Girl now.”

I felt like I could faint at any moment, but I didn’t remove the blindfold, because I knew who I’d see if I did, and I wasn’t ready for that.

[themusingsofacurlyhairednerd]

Datura Pt 15

Author's Note: Darrrrrlllllliiiiinnnngggg guess who's back from jail the debilitating cycle of mental illness?

Seriously tho, thank ya'll for sticking with me I have not been able to write more than a couple paragraphs a day lately. Please enjoy meeting a couple familiar faces, as a treat.

Content Warnings: Canon Typical Violence

Previous Chapter/Masterlist

-----------------

Giving the High Lords’ their powers back is, surprisingly, the easiest part of the next hour. Reaching into your power well, untangling the threads of each of them, swirling together within you is easy compared to getting them to agree on anything. They all stand there, in what’s left of the Throne Room, yelling at each other about what’s to be done about your father. Rhys and Helion want him dead now, the Cauldron returned to its resting place. Beron and Tarquin want to go home and be done with the whole mess. Kallias and Thesan want to try and muster their armies, in case of all out war. 

By this point its all a jumble of nonsense in your ears. You’re so tired. Rhys, with his powers returned, is healing nicely from the wounds you’ve inflicted, and despite all he’s endured, he’s the one holding you upright as you lean into his side. It’s taking all your energy to just keep your eyes open, to not give into the warmth that radiates from his skin, and sink into it. 

“We are wasting time!” Helion agrues.

“What he does in the Human Lands is no business of ours!” Shouts Beron.

You’d snarl at him if you had the energy; every time he opens his mouth you wish you’d had the presence of mind to give his powers to Eris instead, but the headache from holding all that had gotten so bad you’d thought your head might actually burst if you didn’t expel as much of it as you could. As is, Tamlin’s powers still prowl beneath your skin; finding him will be a challenge you’ll have to face later, once this threat is finally over.

Rhys’s hand strokes your side soothingly as he comes to Helion’s defense, his snarl making the room shake. He is a sight to behold at full power, everything about him seems to dim the impressive powers around him. Wisps of shadows twirl around his body, twining around your own in exploration. A welcome darkness. You’d like very much to fall into it and not think about any of this for weeks and weeks.  

“We are getting nowhere with this,” Kallias insists. “Let us return home and send out spies. We are of no help to anyone if we end up dead because we went in blind.”

“We cannot wait that long,” Helion presses. 

“We won’t need to,” Rhys says, flicking a bit of lint off his shoulder. “My spy should be here with news any minute now.”

Even you crane your head up to look at him, surprised. He hasn’t moved from the Throne Room, is only now dressed because he summoned something from a pocket realm, when would he have had the time?

He merely winks at you as he says to the others, “Once he arrives, we will make our decision.”

“And we should trust a word from your spies?” Beron snarls. “As we should trust a story about the Cauldron from her.” He’s been rather pissed that a female had wielded his powers, and has taken every opportunity to take a shot at you since getting them back. As if diminishing your ability cleansed them of whatever womanly germs you may have gotten on them. 

“I gave you those powers of my own free will, I can take them back any time I desire,” you warn. 

He has the good sense to step away from you, at least, even if his disdain is palpable.

“The next time you look at my mate like that,” Rhys snarls so low the lights in the room start to wink out. The stars that usually glitter in his violet eyes shrink, pupil expanding until it’s nearly black. “I’ll separate your head from your shoulders.” His shadows deepen, swirling around him.

Mate. The word clangs through them like a warning bell and there are various reactions of disgust and surprise. Helion claps him on the back in congratulations despite the others’ response.

You brush a mental hand over the thin thread that connects you to Rhys, testing to tell yourself that it is real. The loss of the bargains is visceral, it feels as if there’s a gaping wound in your soul, poking around in there feels like touching an exposed nerve, but beneath it, glittering like a million stars, is that tether. The one you suspect might have been the only reason you’re still alive at all. 

Rhys opens his end of it to you, the door of adamant thrown open far wider than it had ever been before. “Are you all right, Darling?”

You could cry from a thousand different things right now, but the fact that you can hear him, feel him like this makes you close your eyes for a brief moment and relish the fact that Hybern hadn’t robbed you of this too. “I thought…” the memory of that dark power holding you down, tearing the bargain apart, flashes across your shared mental space before you can shut it out. “I wasn’t sure this would still be here.”

Rhys’s anger flares down the bond as the memory plays out before him, the arm around your waist tightening. “It will always be here. Nothing, no exiled king, no Mountain, no damned Cauldron, will ever change that.”

“Even if I did punch you in the face?” You quip, eyes blurring with tears. 

His deep rumble of a laugh flows down the bond, fills it with glittering starlight. It is such a contrast to the dark lord mask he still outwardly shows the other lords. Looking at him, they can only see Darkness Incarnate, a creature of shadows and malevolence that keeps baring his teeth when someone gets out of line. Yet here, between your two souls, he is gentle and kind and bright. 

“Maybe if you’d broken my nose it would be different, I am known for my good looks after all,” he returns. “So I suppose it can be overlooked.”

You’ve almost forgotten the other lords are still bickering until Rhys’s remark makes you snort and Beron turns to glare at you. It’s only because your mate flashes his teeth at him with a growl that he keeps from pointing it out. 

You could have stayed like this, warm in both his physical and mental embrace, had a male with wings not entered the room. Fae came in all shapes, sizes and colors, your travels had shown many of them to you over the years, but you’ve met very few with wings like these. The leathery membrane is reminiscent of a bat’s, with a large apex talon at the tip; when folded behind him, the talons make it look like horns are growing out of his shoulders. He weara]s black fighting leathers, fit tight to his muscled form; a sword sheathed between his great wings, a single, ornate dagger strapped to his thigh. You know him to be with Rhys solely from the shadows that mist over his frame, drifting through his dark hair to shroud his face as he enters, his powers not entirely unlike your mate’s.

The male’s hazel eyes flick immediately to Rhys, his features mostly schooled into cold indifference, but you note the briefest flick of relief as he takes in his High Lord.

“Don’t tell me you only brought the Shadowsinger?” Helion asks with a pout.

The rest of the room finally falls silent as the male steps up to the table you’ve all been arguing around. Rhys claps him on the shoulder in greeting, your mate’s posture relaxing at his presence.

The male returns the gesture, the hand he reaches out scarred beyond any repair. “M’lord.” There’s a bit of teasing underneath the tone, as if he says it in joke, perhaps that is why Rhys flashes him a grin in return.

“Well?” Thesan questions. 

“My spies and I have tracked Hybern back to a temple in Spring,” the male says, turning away from Rhys to face them. “Troops are prepared to move, but no one has yet. I couldn’t get any closer.”

You run your fingers over your damaged throat in thought. He has the Cauldron still, why not use it?

Helion asks as much before you can say it aloud. 

“I couldn’t get inside, his shields are extensive. If we are to engage him, we’ll have to draw him outside.”

“With what army?” Kallias returns.

“We have an Illyrian legion and a squadron of Darkbringers standing by,” he says with a nod to Rhys. 

“Ah, so you did bring Cassian,” Helion says with a grin. “I was hoping I’d see a pretty face after being in this cage for so long.”

Beron snarls softly under his breath in disgust. 

“I can break the shield,” you say. 

“Tore through Amarantha’s like butter,” Helion agrees.

Rhys’s attention is now glued to you, as is the Shadowsinger, hazel eyes assessing the way his lord holds you. 

“I can go in first, take the shield down, and you all can come in behind me.”

“And let you lead us right into a trap?” Beron snarls. 

“Would you prefer to go in first?” Tarquin returns.

“Helion and I will be right behind you,” Rhys says slowly, as if he’s still thinking through the details. 

“I can cleave any surprise spells beyond the shield,” Helion confirms.

“My troops can provide cover, if Hybern’s men move,” Rhys continues. “The rest of you can follow along behind. We’ll distract Hybern while…”

A shiver runs inadvertently down my spine at thought, but I force the words out anyway, “While I drain the Cauldron so he can’t use it.”

Rhys nods, a string of affection trickling down the bond. “Once Hybern and his troops are dead, or captured, we send the Cauldron back to its resting place, and we all go home.”

Kallias rubs a hand wearily over his face. 

“I don’t see why all of us have to risk our necks,” Beron snarls.

“Because we don’t know what else he has up his sleeve,” Thesan returns. “We’ve all been in the dark to the outside world for the last fifty years. He could have anything.”

“He doesn’t have his whole army moved in yet,” the Shadowsinger confirms. “We have to move now.”

Tarquin sighs as he leans his weight against the table. “Let us be done with it then.”

You sigh with relief. It’s almost over. This nightmare is, mercifully, moments away from over. All you have to do is tear down a shield and drain the actual, life giving, Cauldron.

The terrifying, cold, bottomless Cauldron that had swallowed you and spit you out. The very thing that had tied you to Hybern’s will and nearly cost you your mate. And you wanted to, somehow, take that power from it so it couldn’t be wielded?

You are in over your head.

You never should have suggested it.

But how can you not? Even with all their powers restored, none of the High Lords can take power from anyone, or anything else. That is a gift that belongs to you and you alone. It has to be you.

By the time you pull yourself out of your thoughts over the ancient artifact, the other lords have filtered out, leaving you alone with Rhys and his spy. It’s only when they’re gone that Rhys releases you, so he can throw his arms around the other male. It is far more affectionate than you have ever seen him be with someone aside from yourself. 

“Az,” he half sobs into the other male’s shoulder.

“You idiot!” The other snarls, even as those scarred hands grip so tight to the back of Rhys’s shirt it looks like he might tear it. “What were you thinking!?”

Rhys’s response is still more sob than laugh, but there is some humor in it nonetheless. “It worked didn’t it?”

“I’d thought I’d never see you again, you stupid prick!” 

When they finally pull away, Rhys is grinning. “Az, you should meet my mate.”

You’re still standing there awkwardly, and probably looking like you’d been tossed under a wagon, if you’re being totally honest with yourself, and the only thing you can think to do is give a little wave. “Hi.”

He looks back and forth between you two, shadows drifting off his shoulders, slithering around his dark boots like snakes as they come to appraise you, much as Rhys’s own powers had that night on Calanmai. Though these are colder and more methodic in their search than your mate’s had been.

“Y/N, this is my brother, Azriel.”

“Who’s blood is all over your hands?” Azriel asks by way of greeting.

It’s an effort not to tuck them behind your back under his scrutiny. “A little bit of everyone’s really,” you mumble.

Azriel shoots Rhys a look that has your mate grinning, “She killed Amarantha.”

“Well, then, it’s nice to meet you,” Azriel replies, the corners of his mouth quirking up in a grin. 

“You two will get along well, I think,” Rhys says, and judging by the warmth he’s flooding down the bond you know he really means it. This is important to him. 

“You make it a habit of killing dictators, Y/N?” Azriel teases.

“Well we are on our way to kill my father, so I might be,” you return.

The shock on his face is enough to make you grin, even as Rhys slaps Azriel on the back and says, “We should go find Cass.”

Cass turns out to be one of the tallest males you’ve ever seen, bearing the same dark wings as Azriel, long brown hair tied back out of his sun kissed face. While Azriel had remarks on Rhys’s absence to make, this one merely barreled into him as soon as he caught sight of him, nearly taking them both to the ground in his attempt to bear hug him.

Azriel takes up the space beside you, watching them with the same cold indifference he looked at everything. “Careful, he’s a hugger.” Was the only warning you got before the giant of a male released Rhys to sweep you up into a hug of your own.

You awkwardly pat his large back once your feet manage to get back on the ground. “Uh hi.”

“You’re much prettier than he is,” he says when he pulls away, a shit eating grin plastered to his handsome face. “You sure you want this loser?” He jerks his thumb in Rhys’s direction for good measure.

Rhys grabs you by the shoulders and pulls you back against his chest. “Don’t mind Cassian, he was dropped as a baby.”

“I was not!” Cassian returns. “Thrown out into the snow sure, but no one ever dropped me.”

“His head’s so big you wouldn’t have noticed if he had anyway,” Azriel returns.

Rhys chuckles as they turn to square off each other, shouting obscenities. “I know they’re a little much-”

You run your fingers over his arm where it’s braced against your collarbone, the weight of him at your back solid and reassuring. “This is pretty much what I’d expect of anyone related to you, honestly.”

He gives your shoulder a teasing pinch, “Brat.”

“You endured all this for them,” you say in a more serious tone. “You gave all of yourself to make sure they were safe. They’re important to you, so they’re important to me.”

He kisses the top of your head in thanks. “I can’t wait for this to be over, so we can go home and you can meet the rest of them.”

For that, for them, you can do this, you can go up against the Cauldron. You give his hand a squeeze. “Let’s get this done then.”

----

The crunch of every dead piece of grass under your feet sounds like an alarm bell. The rustle of the trees, the quiet of the nearby birds, it all feels as if it’s screaming your location right to your father.

You draw a deep breath as you creep forward, then another as the Temple finally comes into view. Hybern’s shield around the building is a lot less visible than Amarantha’s had been, yet you can feel it. There’s a buzzing beneath your skin that grows the closer you get to it, the air tinged with a hint of overripe fruit.

“Hello, Daughter of the Void, have you come to play another game?”

You freeze, a shiver running down your spine. 

Behind you, Rhys and Helion pause too, watching the area ahead of you warily. Cassian had produced armor and weapons for both of them, their swords still sheathed at their backs. Rhys reaches a hand up to grab his at your movements, but neither mention hearing the Cauldron.

“Darling?” Rhys asks mind to mind to avoid being heard. “Are you all right?”

Your stomach is in your throat, it’s an effort to swallow. “Yeah,” you lie as the phantom touch of that icy water brushes over your skin. Cassian hadn’t found armor for you, just a pair of more practical clothes and boots. Helion had offered to cast a shield for you, but his efforts had been for nothing, your body had swallowed up the shield like it was starving for any bit of new power it could reach. Still, you wish you’d found something, anything to make you feel a little less powerless against what you were up against.

“Just thought I heard something.” In a few more tentative steps, you’re at the edge of the shield.

“Come, come and play, Sweet Nothing.”

You reach out a hand, even though it’s shaking, and let your claws slide into place. They’re still a little distorted from Spring’s powers, you skin a war of fur and scales as the warring powers fight for dominance.

You can do this. Your mate is right behind you. His brothers and their winged armies just above the treeline. You are not alone to fight Hybern this time.

“Once we’re through, let Helion go ahead and check for protection spells,” Rhys cautions.

“I didn’t see any before,” you muse.

“He wasn’t trying to keep you out then,” he reminds. “But he knows that you’re against him now. We have to be ready for anything.”

You square your shoulders. You can do this.

The shield splits under your claws as if you’re shredding paper, your hand tingling with the sensation of a thousand needles as you draw all that power into you. After holding the powers of all the High Lords, this is nothing in comparison, even if it is stronger than Amarantha’s. You don’t stop pulling it into you until you no longer feel the buzzing of it against your skin.

“We’re in,” you say to Helion, who strides past you far more confidently than you felt he should be.

Especially when it’s so… quiet.

You tilt your head, listening. There are still no birds here, but there is no waiting army either. Hybern had plenty of soldiers when you’d seen him last, too many to cram all inside the Temple, even with the ones you’d misted under his orders. It shouldn’t be this quiet.

Helion’s head tilts to the side as he too considers the stillness. 

You can’t smell any spells at work, or see any other types of shields.

“Come, come and play,” the Cauldron beckons. “We have so much more to learn from each other, Little Death.”

Why have no army in sight with something this valuable out in the open?

Why leave something you could hear within reach?

You glance back at Rhys, by the look on his face its clear he too knows something is wrong, but he still can’t hear that it’s wrong. 

“Come.” It starts like a second pulse within your chest. 

“Come.” Then the hair on your arms raises.

“Come.” The ground trembles, but still no one but you notices.

Because you were remade. It knows you and you know it. And that’s the only way you have time to run and push Helion out of the way before Hybern uses the Cauldron to send out a blast of pure energy that hits you right in the chest.

_________________________________

Tag List: @mariahoedt, @lovelydove, @twsssmlmaa, @sleepylunarwolf, @judig92, @willowpains, @daughterofthemoons-stuff, @annnaaaa88, @myheartfollower, @uniquecolorwizard, @eternallyelvish, @waytoomanyteenagefeels, @lovemesomeevesy, @localfangirl09, @isa1b2h3, @starswholistenanddreamsanswered, @slytherintaco, @iluvewmanblog, @thebeautifulmysteriesoflife, @kitsunetori, @lilah-asteria, @dianxiaxie, @msoldier, @amara-moonlight, @darling006, @92494-blog1, @genniecokkie, @nyctophiliiiiaaa

[ganondoodle]

was watching another totk video and through that found out what the reward is for completing koltins quests, honestly im not really surprised but also baffled and it really just shows, once again, that totk kinda does exactly what you shouldnt do in a sequel imo.. double down on all the bad stuff of the previous title

at this point i have talked about various problems in detail but i just keep realizing over and over just how much of the wrong lesson they seemed to take from botw, they recycled almost everything from botw by changing some paint or some words, made a giant game even bigger and filled it with boring and tedious busy work that has mediocre to insulting rewards EVEN MORE than botw

game too big and empty? make it TWICE as big, change barely anything about the map of the previous title and the new added map(s) is ONE biom that almost everywhere looks the same and even emptier with little to do

too many krogs? MAKE IT MORE and double down on the literally shit reward bc its the SAME just with one more stack of shit

too many shrines with short puzzles? ADD EVEN MORE and make them even shorter and easier to complete, alot of them not even involving a puzzle and multiple being an utterly out of place tutorial that could have been explained to you in a single text box

rewards in the overworld being mostly either a krog or a shrine which gets repetetive with shrines being ALOT and krogs being wayyy too many? add even MORE shrines and EVEN MORE krogs, but now add over a hundred of caves to it that all get repetetive after just a few of them and you only do them for a shrine or a currency you have to collect to get one cool looking but pretty bad to use armor set and a piece of cloth for your parasail that you can only use one of at the tiem and to switch have to go back to a specific NPC, theres ghost lights to collect which only serve to yet again buy one armor set from a set of NPCs and ar meaningless afterwards, the light roots dont require you to do anything but walk to them and the reward for finding them all is a "you did it" sticker that doesnt even stick (its useless)

weapons break too quickly? well make the weapons you can find even worse to force you to fuse a material to it so its at all usable BUT IT STILL BREAKS and when it does it breaks not JUST the weapon but ALSO a material, materials that you will need for now EVEN MORE EXPENSIVE armor upgrades too, weapons cannot be rewards anymore either bc they will always have to be fused with something to make them stronger bc none is strong on its own- this also applies to THE MASTERSWORD, something ALSO complained about that it still 'breaks' even after empowering it through the DLC in botw, and now it cant even BE empowered (bc no DLC) unless you fuse soemthing to it (to. the. MASTERSWORD.) EVEN THO EMPOWERIGN THE MASTERSWORD IS THE ENTIRE POINT OF ZELDAS ULTIMATELY MEANING- AND CONSEQUENCELESS SACRIFICE !!

the dungeons were to samey and simple? make them look different but keep the core structure (activate terminals in completely seperate from each other "puzzles", fight boss) while also makign them be even more skippable (climable walls, the ceiling jump ability- something the titans DIDNT have) with incredibly easy bossfights that end with an embarassing copy and paste scene that hits you over the head with long known and obvious information over and over

people didnt like how the story was so detached from everything in the present? well, make the story and the present EVEN MORE detached from anything in the present, so far in fact that there is literally no connection to it aside from zelda who is the only connective thread and is also only treated as such (she is as personality lacking as sonia as soon as shes yoinked into the past) and the suddendly and out of nowhere intruduced architecture and history that wasnt a thing in botw but is treated like it was always there

people didnt like how far botw was detached from all other zelda games? ok totk is not only FURTHER detached from those it also completely detached itself from its on predecessor :)

people didnt like the memory system? ok make it WORSE then, its a linear story now that you can ruin by seeing even one out of order, they are super short and dont give you anymore context to anythign than the things you could figure out yourself or were already told really, instead of giving you views into a characters personality you get to view a basic plot summary of a story that is so flavorless and predictable i knew what would happen from the start yet acts like its being vague and cool that i felt like i was beign treated like a literal toddler

too few enemy types? well, we will reuse the old ones EVEN MORE thant before over twice the map and the new ones that are there are either utterlly irrelevant to change up the gameplay or largely feel like the old ones just with a paint job (constructs), the griocks looked cool at first but are just a more annyoing version of the lynels (who feel like an actual duel, akin to a proper boss)

even the things that were adressed, or attempted to, didnt fully work, like the bosses ARE more unique, but also still so incredibly easy and ALSO have multiple duplicats just sitting around in the underground despite them being supposedly the root of the problems of the regions (i like refighting bosses, but id rather have a character that lets me choose ok i wann fight this one again and teleporte me into a vision or sth- also the most fun fights arent even part of it (koga) )

the rain complaint got a new effect type to counteract it, which ... doesnt work well, you need specific materials to make potions with that effect which you also need to upgrade the only armor set wit hthat effect that ONLY works once you upgrade it (i think ... i dont know how high i got it but if even the full upgraded set doesnt negate the rain effect i will not be surprised either lol) also it adds just yet another effect type that spams your inventory and you dont really need .... or i might be the only one that saw no value at all in the "attack up when hot" new type of effects bc it felt so specific and situational while also having a way better option (just make it a standard attack up thing?) at least in my eyes-

... ill stop here .... this got longer again didnt it O-o

[askuemki]

@vivgst new thread <3 (I have the cut so it won't be a pain to scroll lol)

I've never watched Death Note, but I guess Ill just say L is my favorite since we share a name (technically) Honestly? my answer is simple w/ what animal Id be Almost ANY cat (not the flatfaced or folded ear ones though they can have some bad health issues :( ) Like if you're a domestic cat, you have the stuff to survive both in the wild, or in someone's house. You have super scenes of smell, night vision, claws, sharp teeth, AND probably enough smarts to not get eaten by dogs or smth. On the other hand with humans, at least 70% of the population would adore you, and maybe even take you in to pamper you. It would be very easy to get them to do your bidding since you'd be just some animal, and perhaps put above your caretaker's needs. Pets? Affection? Just act all adorable and stuff and they'll give it to you, cling on to them and they'll say they're your human now. On the other hand (or paw) there's the wild cats!! Still very cute. Still very cool. Now your defenses are upped by a ton, and people still find you cute. Though with how shitty environmental conditions are, and with the bigger cats slowly going to extinction :( , I may or may not just stick to domestic cats But hypothetically.. It would be neat to be either a snow leopard, tiger, or a jaguar. I love snow leopards for their big fluffy tails, and it would be cool to be able to roam through snow and stuff, but that seems to get a little boring from time to time. Love tigers for their stripes, I don't think they can roar..?? But that doesn't change anything. Think Tigers and Jaguars are both pretty efficient in survival, but I'd pick Jaguar just for their athletics and HUGE bite force (least from my 1st search). Or maybe, maybe not because there's an outfit/skin or two of Valeria's that are based on jaguars.. (or leopards, but ill go w/ jaguars) im obsessed w/ this woman man hdwhadwjadawnk OH ALSO ON THE TOPIC OF BIRDS??? AS FUN AS IT WOULD BE TO BE A MALE BIRD AND SHAKE YOUR COLORFUL BUM AROUND, THERE WAS A WHOLE ASS WAR W/ EMUS AND AUSTRALIA Honestly who wouldn't wanna be a relative of a dinosaur, but smaller and just as fucking scary Also for vacation.... I don't like going on vacation. I just like being in my sad little room, on the internet or drawing my ass off But, Id love to visit Japan and see their Ghibli Studio museum, it's so cool... Or even just go to a few hotels or smth here and there, I love their stellar technology, I love how everything is so cute or neat there, oh and I especially LOVE the social rules there, I'm a goody-two-shoes at heart and perfectly agree with being "nice"... Like yeah sure I may not like you or the opposite, but at least we can co-exist without biting our heads off (unlike the fucking us) and japan seems open to their culture being explored by others, so I'd totally love to (respectfully) participate in some traditions here and there OR I could visit Europe. Like not even a specific country? Just Europe. Cuz the US is like really fucking big, and a country like France is apparently as big as Texas. And it would be cool to take a week trip just exploring cultures and stuff (well everything except food, I'm a terrible picky eater ugh) Vacation in the US scares me tho, I'm fine where I'm at rn Maybe id be a little open to going to canada.. but bc of how they're treating the Palestine genoside rn maybe like later in life if they redeem themselves, but like the us? Fuck them too I think crocodiles r cute, but I wouldn't wanna go near one :3 Most of my relatives are either in the Philippines or Maryland, I barely know abt them now Never thought I'd be the one to be the gay cousin, ngl

[maygrcnt]

something i think is very imminent in 911 season 8 is a change in the professional dynamic of the 118. we barely got to see them in action this year (and when we did it was often isolated sub groups who were progressing a personal storyline. save for one or two genuine emergencies), and i do think that’s because they realized that since nothing has changed about how the team works the emergencies have gotten a bit repetitive— bobby gives the orders, buck and eddie pull off the rescue, hen and chim save their life. so i was kinda mulling it over and trying to see how this could be solved in a full length season where they can’t get away with the lack of emergencies and will probably need to shake up the 118 dynamic a bit.

the first option is obviously to just split everybody up into different stations. it’s what i’ve been speculating about for a while and i think it’s a genuine option. the only reason i say maybe not is because it kind of defeats the idea of having more emergencies because it would be difficult to show casual rescues if everyone is everywhere, and they’d have to hire quite a few guest actors to play the other firefighters. also because lone star kind of already did this storyline if im not mistaken and i don’t want to just rinse and repeat from them lmao.

so what i think is actually going to happen is that bobby is no longer captain 118. i don’t think he retires and i DEFINITELY don’t think he dies. they’ve dropped the thread that the chief wants to run for…. some sort of office i don’t know what. but that medal ceremony probably looked reallll good on his campaign so i wouldn’t be surprised if he won and needed someone to fill his shoes. they made a point of having bobby call himself “the star captain at the star firehouse” so obviously since season three he’s built up his reputation back quite well in the LAFD and a promotion would probably be very realistic. i could even see them do like station 19 did and have the promoted character use the shows station as a “home base”. i do not care if this is realistic i care that bobby is still here!

this creates a hole in the captain ship at the 118 and while they could do the “navigating a new captain route” i just… wish they wouldn’t. also they NEED to give more of these characters some professional development SO, i think captain hen is incoming. we could finally put a satisfying pin on the end of her journey for more and it would go together nicely with finally finding closure on her family storyline as well.

now with hen as captain we need another EMT and i think eddie finally getting the full paramedic stuff would be so cooll! ryan mentioned that eddie would be exploring all new territory (yes i do think that’s also about gay eddie) and it would be so nice if that was eddie learning some new skills and knowledge. this would also give us a severely severely underused character dynamic in chim and eddie. would love to see them get up to shenanigans.

we’ve now shifted eddie over to the paramedic team so buck is all alone isn’t he… WRONG. ravi main character season 8 is REAL and it’s HAPPENING. he’s literally the perfect choice to pair with buck professionally! now that he’s not a probie (i would presume? timeline might be truly fucked tho so who knows) and he’s definitely seemed to have found his own voice within the 118 i want to have the buck and ravi work dynamic back. see them work together, figure things out, and most importantly let ravi show off that he’s COMPETENT. this also opens us up to have a new recurring character at the firehouse (please be a woman please be a woman please be a woman)

i realize it sounds a little bonkers crazy to split up buck and eddie at work because we’ve done that before and things were honestly miserable to watch. plus tim has said he wants to keep the interactions up as it’s “the core of that coupling” (his words not mine). and i agree! it’s DANGEROUS to split up this professional dynamic that we have grown to love. but i do believe that splitting them in the workplace is how we bring them together romantically.

think of chenford, in order to pursue their romantic storyline first we had to get out of the trainee/TO dynamic. and it was a little scary because that was how we got most of their scenes together! but we didn’t lose the chenford dynamic, we simply moved it into the personal lives part of the show instead of the cop part of the show. that’s what i think will happen with buddie. we move them out of work partners and into (even MORE into i should say) life partners.

anyway the tldr of it is: bobby should get promoted, hen should be captain, eddie should become a paramedic, ravi should be a main character.

[chroniclyillpolybat]

I think lately I been so upset with myself and I'm not sure how to go about it. I'm so angry that I spent 10 years basicly asleep I'm still not sure what it was, I was there but not myself I wanted to sleep all the time I had no ambition I was in such a victim mentality and still greaiving so many things in 2012 that I basicly went numb. Maybe one day I'll talk about all that. But anyways last year I finally woke up started really working on myself. Working and enjoying life even tho it was not easy dealing with a lot of trauma and past to start healing and being better for my partners and family. Finally I was getting into things and my body starts giving out. I feel like I never learn my lesson I feel like this is my inherited victim mentality taught to me that I'm trying to break. But also I do need to go through the stages of grief when it comes to my chronic illness. And right now I am a little just mad at myself. I feel like the only way I learn things is if I do it the hard way. My mental health I had to almost break to get better. My relationship I had to almost destroy it to understand. And now my body is like haha your gonna be sick so you can understand what you took for granted. Honestly I feel this post is more of a brain dump that I probably will come back to stories if anyone is even interested or I need to work things out in writing.

I feel lately like I'm holding on by a thread. Trying to keep my sanity together. New things in my health pop up I never have any idea if it's a emergency or just a new thing I get to live with. I was feeling panicky and getting into feeling paranoia and feeling like I'm in a dream and I have no idea why and find out I have hogh blood pressure now. Once they got meds in me after 2 days of feeling on the verge of a panic attack I finally feel me. I feel like I can think rationally again. I feel like there is always something new and I'm so suck of it. I feel crazy and just wanna give up. I wish I could ignore it and go away.

[unaloid]

i wonder how season 3 would've treated lord dominator from all the way from the beginning to the true series finale? mini-redemption while sticking to her normal self? some sort of revenge? change lf heart? idk? i hope for a true ending someday. all i know is i'd like to get her new threads and out of that bubble. 😭

one of the first things i drew after my rewatch was an idea for dominator in s3, basically she has to keep showing up bcuz she is forced to rely on them for help, as much as she hates it. idk if i still would do it like that since that was old but yea.

i would lovvvee her just showing up on whatever planet the main 4 are on and fucking wit them doing goofy shit, its rare we get to see her engage with anyone genuinely as an actual character rather than a threat. itd be alot of fun to see her on equal grounds to the others. or below them.

selfishly, i would like to see her spiralling, and not knowing how to function now that shes powerless. i want her in a really bad place, so that people take pity on her and help her even if she doesnt deserve it, this is definitely me projecting onto her tho. i could talk about this more becauuuuse i am crazy

it would be neat to see her building herself back up tho, im thinking of that comic someone made where shes in a hoodie trying to recruit peepers and i thought that was cool i cant find it rn. but she still ends up needing the help of someone else so thats progress for her ^_^

[realcube]

YOU GOT: ISSEI MATSUKAWA (time-skip)

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ matchup for @slut4msby

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ if you would like a matchup, read this!

'I am a big fan of quality time (like dream activity with a partner is sitting in the same room in silence just scrolling social media) aswell as gift giving (I love remembering small details about people and giving them gifts based on that randomly and going overboard for events)'

𓆩♡𓆪 matsukawa would be so down to do the first one

𓆩♡𓆪 like he's chill and would just thrive getting to spend any sort of time with you

𓆩♡𓆪 and omg he's so chill and a lil lazy to the point where if y'all are together and he is scrolling and finds a video/image/whatever he wants you to see, instead of just leaning over or getting up to show you irl

𓆩♡𓆪 he will just send it to you over the app 😭 despite the fact you are literally in the same room as him

𓆩♡𓆪 and if you point this out like 'issei why did you send this to me?? we're cuddling i'm RIGHT next to you'

𓆩♡𓆪 he'll be like 🤷‍♂️

𓆩♡𓆪 but whenever he shows you something, it's either some SO brainrot and unintelligible that he finds funny

𓆩♡𓆪 or it's like to with one of your interests

𓆩♡𓆪 like you mentioned you like musical theatre so he would defo send you any clips he finds of shows or links to those posts detailing new shows and tickets and stuff

𓆩♡𓆪 or for books, he'd 100% send you those twitter threads of the crazy book reviews

𓆩♡𓆪 oh and he loves hearing you recap books that you read , especially if they are unhinged or if y'all are zooted lol

𓆩♡𓆪and issei is calm but i don't think he's an introvert or shy so he would definitely thrive if you were to go all out for his birthday or vb celebrations (tho he plays for seijoh so theres not much to celebrate smh)

𓆩♡𓆪 but yeah if you were to go big for him he'd SO love that and would not be the slightest bit embarrassed by it

𓆩♡𓆪 oh and even if the event isn't related to him, he still enjoys you going overboard

𓆩♡𓆪 like if you were to dress up all fancy for a date , he'd appreciate it and take SO many pics

𓆩♡𓆪 oh and this is slightly unrelated but his camera roll is 50% choatic screenshots and 50% pictures of you

𓆩♡𓆪 i imagine his main love language is quality time but he's defo not bad at giving gifts

𓆩♡𓆪 maybe not as great as you but you can tell he always puts effort into his gifts

𓆩♡𓆪 and usually with him, he'll get you one silly/joke gift and one sentimental/serious gift

𓆩♡𓆪 like for your birthday you WILL be receiving one of those rubber shrieking chickens bc he said it reminds him of you but you will also get those expensive shoes you mentioned wanting or a designer perfume you got a tester of once while y'all were on a date and you said you liked

𓆩♡𓆪 and for your anniversary you WILL be receiving a personalised card with a picture of you both on the front except your face has been covered by the text so it's just him, but you will also get a massive bouquet of your favourite flowers and one of those framed photos of a graphic of the constellations of the day you both first met

𓆩♡𓆪 he's multi-faceted!!

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

'is a taller guy or around the same height (im 5’11) as i can get super insecure about my height :p'

𓆩♡𓆪 the wiki doesn't have a post-timeskip height for him </3

𓆩♡𓆪 BUT pre timeskip , homie is 6'2" so he is at least that tall post-timeskip

𓆩♡𓆪 so yes he will be taller than you and no he will not let you forget it

𓆩♡𓆪 like he will call you shorty and if you try to argue or remind him thta you are objectively tall in comparison to other ppl he'll be like 'and are the "other people" in the room with us right now? 🤨'

𓆩♡𓆪 a bit of a gaslighter but not really bc its in good fun

𓆩♡𓆪 but yeah he milks tf out of those 3" he has on you (or more depending on his time-skip height)

𓆩♡𓆪 always teasing you and asking if you need help reaching things (even if you don't need help at all)

𓆩♡𓆪 on carnival dates you'll tell him a ride you want to go on and he'll be like 'but bae sorry i don't think you're tall enough to go on 😔'

𓆩♡𓆪 sometimes you'll walk in mid-way on a conversation between him and hanamaki and they'll be laughing and you'll go 'what are you guys laughing about? 😊'

𓆩♡𓆪 and issei will be like '😬 sorry babe..... it's a tall ppl thing you wouldn't get it'

𓆩♡𓆪 meanwhile maki is 6'0" so ONE inch taller than you ARGH

𓆩♡𓆪 anyway he would NOT let you be insecure abotu your height bc firstly he thinks you're gorgeous and will make you aware of it and secondly he genuinely doesn't make a big deal out of you being tall, since you are still shorter than him after all

𓆩♡𓆪 if you are feeling extra insecure he'll be quick to remind you that you're model height

𓆩♡𓆪 however for the most part he's doesn't pay much mind to your height

𓆩♡𓆪 like to him you're not his 'tall hot gf' , you're his hot gf who is tall iykwim ??

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

'what i look for in a partner is not someone who is not overly clingy and can identify when i need space and wont make a huge deal out of the fact i need space'

𓆩♡𓆪 he is defo not clingy

𓆩♡𓆪 i wouldn't go as far as saying he's distant but he doesn't mind when you need your space

𓆩♡𓆪 but he will still be there for you whenever you need it

𓆩♡𓆪 and he's kinda the same bc i imagine he'd probably also need space and time alone after seijoh's loss

𓆩♡𓆪 so he'd appreciate that you're understanding of that and don't cling to him when he would prefer to be on his own

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

'arcade!! I love the idea of an arcade date, it really shows you a lot about a person and whether or not they are a sore winner/loser or not. And at end of the night if the date’s been going well a nice night walk and some desert c:'

𓆩♡𓆪 matsukawa would so enjoy the arcade

𓆩♡𓆪 he's a bit competitive but for the most part he just likes to tease you

𓆩♡𓆪 like if he wins he will say you're going easy on him or maybe he's just that good

𓆩♡𓆪 but if he loses he'll be like 'nahh it's coz i had an eyelash in my eye' or 'that was just a warm-up! let's go again for real.'

𓆩♡𓆪 but you can tell he is doing it in a joking way bc he loves to see you get a little worked up

𓆩♡𓆪 and plus it gives him an excuse to ask for a rematch , therefore more time spent with you = profit!!

𓆩♡𓆪 oh and you both end up playing so many games by the end of the night you have like.. thousands of tickets

𓆩♡𓆪 and have to decide together what to spend it on

𓆩♡𓆪 matsukawa will probably suggest something goofy like a slinky or those stinky , cheap little putties they offer or a rubber bouncy ball

𓆩♡𓆪 but he could be convinced to get something else like a cute keychain or plush

𓆩♡𓆪 he would insist on giving it a name and sharing custody though

𓆩♡𓆪 omg he could also be convinced to go into one of those silly photo booths they have at the arcade and take filtered pics in front of the eiffel tower and niagara falls

𓆩♡𓆪 he'll say the pics look crazy bad bc parts of you both are clipping through the background but he'll still keep the strip in his wallet or in his phonecase

𓆩♡𓆪 he'd so be down for a little sweet treat too

𓆩♡𓆪 and would lk be the type to offer you some of his cake or icecream or whatever then feed it to you 😩😩

𓆩♡𓆪 WAIT ok so if it was like a small cake he'd pick it up and when you take a bite he'd push it into your face a little so you'd get cream on your nose

𓆩♡𓆪 so he can laugh and take a pic but also that would sooo be the moment he falls for you 😵

𓆩♡𓆪 and he'd wipe it off with a napkin like a gentleman!!!

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

for @slut4msby: i was thinking kenma but firstly he's not tall and also i think you being an ambivert would suit matsukawa more

[sardonic-sprite]

Ok ok so @quotidian-oblivion has been (lovingly) pestering me to make something of my/our comment thread on "bane" where we were talking about the whole "Ra's wants tim's babies" thing, and what if that actually happened, so here it is 😂 (tw for referenced rape)

So obviously this could only happen if Cass didn't save Tim from Ra's's half-sister so. Hella angst

Poor Cass is devastated that she was too late to stop it. She blames herself, even tho everyone tells it her its no one's fault but Ra's and his sister. She becomes ridiculously protective of tim in response, even well beyond the time she forgives herself

Dick clings to Tim for an entire day when he finds out, trying not to feel rain on his skin, promising it'll be ok someday, that he's there, he'll do anything he can. He's guilty too, wishing he'd been in better contact, gone with Tim, done anything that could have spared him Dick’s nightmares

Damian’s world has shattered. Grandfather... does not want Damian. As his heir. He wants a previously nonexistent child. DRAKE's child. And he has stooped to the lowest low to get it. The carefully built family around Damian is in mourning for something he doesn't fully understand, and Drake now flinches when Damian, in what was supposed to be a peace offering, calls him "Timothy"

Steph and Tim make up as friends when she comes to support him with the shock of knowing that he has (will have, bc they are NOT leaving it with Ra's) a child now that he was not ready for. She doesn't touch him once while she's there, stays at arm's length, and that, Tim thinks, is what makes the visit feel as comforting as a hug

Jason is horrorstruck and breaks out of the rage/aggression and channels it towards hunting down League assassins bc what the fuck how DARE ra's? Tim was fucking 17 and Jason does not care how powerful this bastard is, he's going the FUCK down because NOBODY messes with Jason's baby brother but Jason himself

Barbara is ranting about how Ra's cant even know the genetics are going to fucking WORK how he wants them to, but breaks off abruptly as Tim's eyes well up, changing to enumerating all the baby things she's ordered and telling the dumb science jokes on the onesies because she NEEDS to see Tim laugh

Alfred LOOKS composed but every night he grips that shotgun real tight and has to remind himself that these kids need him, he can't risk himself for vengeance, what matters is Master Tim and the new little master or miss to be. He asks Tim privately if he'd like to choose a room to be the child's nursery. Tim doesnt know, but that's ok, dear boy, that's ok.

Bruce comes home and instead of the joy of reunion (or well, after it) has to struggle not to cry bc God his poor little boy... Damian was a shock too but at least Bruce and Talia loved each other. At least Bruce fucking consented. At least bruce was a goddamn adult. He doesnt think he will ever be rid of the guilt that Tim only found his way to Ra's by looking for Bruce

And Tim himself...

He can't go underground, at all. He redesigns his costume so that he can only unfasten it with a biometric lock, and doesn't tell anyone where it is except Alfred (medical emergencies). Some days, he can't look the girls in the eyes. Some days, he can't look at them at all, not without memories of things he isn't supposed to have seen or. Or felt. He's kidnapped as Red Robin once and chained to the wall, and he dissociates until someone (Jason this time, and who'd have believed THAT a year ago?) comes to save him. He can't get a good night's sleep anymore, not that he ever could but still

He feels paralyzed. There is no putting this off, no playing for time, nothing. They were able to confirm that Ra's's sister IS pregnant, and he knows damn well it's his, and nature waits for no one. In less than nine months now there's going to be a squalling, breathing, tiny, fragile, entire child, and unless he steps in, Ra's is going to raise it. Which means torturing it into a killer.

Every part of Tim screams NO

So they use those months to plan. How do they get in, how do they get out, WHEN is this supposed to happen because they can't well kidnap the child from the delivery room, the poor thing has to be in some kind of stable health, they need to KNOW these things, and thats when Bruce gets a call

Because Talia is fucking livid. She knows Ra's is an asshole, that's why she got Damian to Bruce, but this was a whole new low, her goddamn AUNT pregnant by her teenage non consenting STEPSON? She can't stop that any more than the others now, but she knows what she CAN stop: another tiny child being twisted and corrupted by this absolute monster. They need a spy, right? Well they got one

So there y'are, Q, the horribly angsty beginnings of this Dad!Tim AU. It doesn’t look pretty right now, but it will slowly get happier bc babies are adorable, dammit.

Edit: Part 2

[keganexe]

D&D, The OGL, and a Better Future for Actual Play Content

So this is spinning out of a post I made on twitter about how I legitimately believe the future of Actual Play (or AP for short) is in working alongside indie rpg folks

You can see that thread here, but I'm gonna recap anyway

Lets talk about the OGL and D&D first

Thanks to some great reporting from journalist Linda Codega (@lincodega), we know the general shape of the new Open Gaming License (or OGL) that WotC is running for Dungeons & Dragons moving forward. In short it sucks, I am not super interested in getting into it here, especially because Linda (once again) did really solid reporting here. Generally this spells a very bad time for a number of bigger third party creators (Green Ronin, Paizo, Kobold Press, probably Critical Role if we assume they aren't in on it which I would not assume tbh), and it also spells out specifically that Hasbro's desire to monetize even harder is in full swing.

One of the more interesting bits to this whole thing to me though, is how Wizards is looking at Fan Content, and I think its very likely this is going to be a major rub for AP Producers in the future. The OGL is now much clearer that AP work needs to fall under the Fan Content Policy, which means in broad strokes there is to be no monetization of your content. This is an old policy, but one I think a lot of folks are blithely unaware of. Specifically

You can't require payments, downloads, subscriptions, or email registration to access your content

You can't sell or license this content to a third party

Your content must be free for others to view, access, share, and use without paying you anything, obtaining approval, or giving credit.

You specifically can run things like a Ko-Fi or a Patreon, but you can't hide content behind a paywall. It also is... unclear on the ability to do things like live shows for money? I'm not a lawyer.

Regardless I think its high time people left, and that brings me to part 2 here

D&D and APs

Fundamentally D&D has always been bad for Actual Play. It's a quagmire of conflicting rules and bubblegum fixes, it crunches in weird spots, it doesn't do half the things people play it for, and its expensive to get into. Furthermore, it requires a lot of prep, it doesn't adapt well, and fundamentally it makes bad radio.

Where we see the most successes in the niche of D&D APs is hyper edited, super slick, and wildly unachievable setups; with major changes in rules, players who can make a living doing it, and entire production studios working on them (looking at you Critical Role, Dimension 20, etc). Within these (and within a ton of other APs) we also see a wild amount of homebrew to bend an inflexible and inelegant system into something that tells the stories we're interested in telling in games. Be this the wild changes to death in Dimension 20's Neverafter, full new classes and mechanics across Critical Role, magic items and homebrew in every AP I can think of, etc.

Generally also D&D is bad radio. The exacting measurements on battle maps don't make great Theatre of the Mind (certainly not as well as games designed for it), the rolls + stat modifiers + misc. shit on your sheet requires a lot of boring and frequently had to follow math*, etc.

Point here being, when we see it done well** it's less on the hands of D&D being good at these things, and more because production is changing major aspects of gameplay to make a game make good radio.

We should also talk about the messy legacy of D&D, but honestly that would be a few thousand extra words from me, and I don't have it in me. If the OGL doesn't scare you, it's worth thinking about what you're cosigning by staying around. Here's some extra articles if this is the first you're hearing about Wizards having major problems tho

Why Race is Still a Problem by Linda Codega gets into a lot of it

Wizards is still making money off of Oriental Adventures (and an article on that)

Mike Mearls still works there, this was weirdly hard to find a good article on, but here's a reddit post where its discussed

A Better Future for Actual Plays

This brings me to the point of this thread, which is that I don't think the future of Actual Plays has ever... actually been in making 5e content. This is a thing I feel pretty strongly about as a person who makes non-5e ap content (and this is a bias, sure). To me a better future has always been in indie rpgs, and in making content hand in hand with designers and producers working together.

What does this look like though? In short it rocks, and it's a thing bigger folks in the AP sphere are clearly already looking it. I'll list some examples below, and then I'll talk more about what it looks like on smaller scale, and what my experience with that has been like

So first off here's a few examples of what this looks like on the higher production end of the scale. I'm specifically looking at examples of campaign APs, working with the designer of the system, and not one shots which are doing this a bunch already.

Dimension 20's Shriek Week with Gabe Hick's Mythic System

Yazeba's Bed & Breakfast Podcast getting made alongside Possum Creek (it is a series of one shots, but also a shared universe, so I'm counting it here)

Into the Motherlands moving to their own system eventually

Iron Edda: Puppet Strings with Tracy Hicks on the One Shot Podcasting Network (edited to add this example)

On the smaller end this is something I legitimately have some experience with, and this is where the thread was always heading. Let's talk about Renegade Racers, the game I made specifically for one person, what that has looked like for me, and why I think it's the future of APs to make content this way.

So a while ago I got on a Fast & Furious bend and watched all the movies. Not content to just watch movies though, I talked to some folks about if they had seen games based on it, and got linked to a video of @0sarahxfrank0 running a F&F inspired honey heist hack (I'm not gonna link it because the community it spun out of has had a lot happen and I don't wanna give them clicks tbh).

The short version of this is that I watched the game, built a system to better handle what folks were trying to do, and then sent it back to Sarah. She loved it. We made some changes, we rebuilt around the players and stories people wanted to tell, we released the game and the first AP together afterwards. Now Sarah and I do a lot of work together, we're planning bigger things like this for the future, and it's so far been a lot of fun and super rewarding for everyone involved.

We've seen some other stuff like this as well, even if not in campaign play. Offhand, Plus One Exp's home Down We Go system is a great example of working with a designer to stamp a system as the home system, and find community within it. We've been able to watch sorta in slow motion as DWG moved from a little one page OSR hack that potentially gets lost in the shuffle, to something big and exciting that both parties are happy to put a stamp on.

This is the exact future I see for AP campaign play, and not a wild dream I don't think.

What does Actual Play look like when it's tied to designers who want to help you tell your stories in the ways you want to tell them? What would it look like for a community to say "actually we've had enough"? What happens when we work with people who give a shit instead of faceless megacorps? What does it look like when we invest in people willing to invest in us?

I've seen the future and it's golden, we just have to reach for it.

*hard to follow in that if the players aren't saying out loud what exactly they're adding the numbers are nonsense **by well here I do mean "expensive and award winning" I do not mean I think they're particularly master classes in game running or production, but that's a whole separate topic

[lastweeksshirttonight]

I've listened to this almost four times at this point, so I better write some thoughts on it. (Did you need them? Probably not but humor me.)

This whole podcast talks deeply about the emotional toll of COVID and the pandemic, so be advised.

Interview starts at 16:10.

To start, I think a thread that runs through this entire episode is Marc being more cynical or bitter than John about a point, and John pausing to realign himself with what his actual level of cynicism is. You can tell that Marc and John like each other a lot, but there is also a tension to some of their discussions that I find really interesting. Like a mental chess match where Marc has a clear POV and John is trying to subtly spin the response to be closer to his own ideals.

The interview opens with the two of them talking about microphone levels and people not being closer to the mic and how irritating it is when people don't know how to use microphones. I am weak to John talking

I haven't watched Rachel Maddow in a while, is she really doing radio shows about Spiro Agnew? What? Why?

John speaking about context and contextualizing our current dark reality. The way he viewed the pandemic and the extent of society's flaws, and how nothing was fixed was really interesting. For as much as he's said that he's allergic to sincerity, that's just plainly untrue. He really does want to believe in the best of everything around him - he later talks about how he loves his children so much it's painful, and I had the same thought. Marc's darkness is something else though, I would laugh helplessly too at being reminded that 30% of the country wants to kill me specifically (help)

"It will eat your messages and shit them back into your face." I truly enjoy when John goes this blue, it always surprises and delights me.

John wants everything to have a system. He really likes the John Wick coin-based hotel system. I don't quite know how the two of them got from the comfort conspiracy theories can provide in dark times to John Wick but hey.

Marc being mad about having no awards and John being like "you really didn't need to say your bitterness out loud bro" killed me.

John has no idea why LWT was moved into another category. He doesn't even know who he's competing against. The Emmys basically afford him the right to be left alone with his show. I think he values that more than anything in regards to LWT - this topic comes up multiple times in this podcast and John stresses that having no sponsors to be beholden to, no commercials, and seemingly little to no oversight makes them able to do things that just can't be done on commercial television. There are more details to mine about this later, but it seems like, for all the absolute chaos of HBO and Warner and Discovery (something John likens to continually having new fathers around and wondering if he even has to bother learning their names), he's still relatively free to plug away at LWT the way he and his team envision it. Which is a relief to hear, honestly, the delayed announcement of LWT being renewed really made me concerned that Discovery in particular was done dealing with him.

I like how John, when given questions, will often ask clarifying follow-ups in this. He's not one for vagueness as it seems - the one that particularly stuck out to me was Marc relaying how he struggles with pulling his thoughts together on current events, using the Gaza crisis as an example for him before asking how John settles on topics. John's response is to ask if Marc means in general, or om Gaza specifically. The conversation moves into the general and how LWT is made now that it's ten years in (John calls the research department a machine and I can tell Marc is hoping that John literally invented a research machine from his tone of voice), but those are two very different conversations that could be pulled from that one question.

I also love John and Marc taking the piss out of John's show. Truly, if John leaves his desk, you obviously just sat through 30 minutes of the worst human misery possible.

-

Marc: "Because of your innate Britishness and your sense of humor, that... you do irritate -"

John, sounding like something just activated in his brain and as darkly as I've ever heard him: "I love to."

Marc: " - the right - ???"

-

My new favorite running theme in John's interviews is his apparently very tense relationship with his lawyers. The nitty gritty of the legal needs of the show, and how John views his lawyers and the frustrations that come with trying to do hard-hitting topics while having lawyers drop out from conflicts of interest, always fascinates me.

John also delves into the security he requires because of the breadth of people he's pissed off. He doesn't seem to care at all and enjoys pissing these people off, despite his wife's concerns. (I'm so sorry Kate you married a deeply weird man) John derives such pleasure from irritating people that it outweighs, say, never being able to go to Thailand without being arrested.

I cannot believe the Sacklers tried to come to the LWT office. Jesus Christ the entitled gall of these people.

Marc offends John with his assessment of England having many destroyed buildings, which leads into him saying, in a way reminiscent of the long-lost American from the Bugle, that he "enjoys the castles". God I miss the American. "How old's this wall? Holy fuck!"

-

Marc: "What are we gonna do about the futility..."

John: -cracks the fuck up-

Marc, finding his point: "...of..."

John: "Let it hang. Feel free to let that hang in the air. Let's just all enjoy the fact that we're all filling it in and coming up with different, equally valid, depressing ends to that sentence."

-

John is so severely offended and killed by Marc's suggestion that he did a Q&A tour. The absolute lowest form of entertainment in both of their minds. John mentions that he emphatically told people they could leave before the Q&A they hosted at the John and Seth stand up show I was at because he feels so strongly about this. I wrongly assumed this was because John hates himself and can't imagine people sticking around for him, but in my defense, that's usually the reason he tells people not to do something/shits on his bangs/etc.

(We still have like 30 min of this podcast, why am I like this)

The question of "what's gonna happen" is a pretty dark one, as John notes. He fears the worst but hopes people will work hard to stop the path we're on. Marc wanting to illustrate where we are is pretty ridiculous, as John points out - just look around.

I think Marc talking about what "all right" means to people gets to something that deeply concerns me about what the future of this country will be for me. I don't want to be that cynical but there is a deep well of selfishness in the US (rightfully identified) that does keep the country from uniting and fighting for survival in times like this. We're definitely at that turning point and I really want to hope we don't drive off the cliff.

I am not really emotionally prepared for jokes about John being in prison, I was genuinely a bit concerned about that The Last Time. That's my own problem though.

I didn't expect to get more information about John leaving The Daily Show on this podcast, but that's one of the most interesting things discussed. Marc asks if John left TDS because he felt the freedom he has with HBO wasn't there, and John says that wasn't the case - his contract expired at the end of 2013, after his summer hosting gig. Ideally, and Jon and John had discussed this (!!), the goal was to have John do TDS in the summers so John could, you know, rest. Sleep. Not be beholden to the horrors all the time. But Comedy Central, in John's blunt words, "didn't really care", so he went to HBO. The way that John mentions that "they would have probably kept [Jon] longer" if they'd actually tried to keep John around sounds just a tinge bitter and honestly, yeah. I'm annoyed hearing that we could have had this magical 2-host version of TDS and CC just... sucks. God I hate them. They gave me most of my worldview as a teenager because of TDS, but fucking A man.

Also interesting to hear, however vaguely, that John had some other offers. Wonder what those were. My best guess, based on what else was going on at that time, is TBS (who later made Full Frontal with Samantha Bee and were building around Conan) might have made a play.

I'm not a parent, but I do appreciate the discussion of parenthood, particularly how anxiety-inducing it can be. Hearing John talk about his worries regarding his prematurely-born son definitely resonated, and I'm glad his son is doing well now. ❤️

The brick joke in the middle of the parenting discussion is the hardest I've ever laughed at Marc Maron. Truly. Masterful brick joke.

I don't have an elegant tag for this - there's much more than what I touched on here in the podcast, and I appreciate how deep the conversation gets. It was really nice to listen to this multiple times during my hell day, and to hear John talk deeper about things that he's rarely asked about.

Also I'm sorry I wrote like fucking too many k words on this, I clearly had thoughts

[cauli-flawa]

Thread from an SMS Forum

Anon: i think i just discovered a new species

Anon: FREAK SPOTTED? Anon: oh sweet. like a bug?

Anon: no

Anon: i think i just found a new age platypus

Anon: wdym??? tell us

Anon: so basically they're a lupine/canine/secret third option thing with wings and this giant ass tail. not sure if they can fly with such a big ass tail, I'll have to figure that out sometime.

Anon: their blood is bright blue, and their eyes are normally yellow with red irises but currently their eyes are REALLY bloodshot.

Anon: they have no fur or hair on their body, but they have fur on their head (like hair) and some tufts on the tip of their tail. they resemble an astral.

Anon: they have lowish blood pressure and for some reason they barely need to breathe like at all. like once every 30 minutes. their species originates from high altitude mountains.

Anon: they have clawed hands with padded palms. they're a pretty good climber and i think they could be very athletic/tough if not for the fact that right now they're really tired like all the time.

Anon: They have very sharp teeth too, might be carnivorous. I'll test that out once they're able to eat. They seem to be pretty sick right now but I don't know why

Anon: Can't really tell what their gender is. seem to be a mix of both.

Anon: HUH Anon: A FUCKING ASTRAL???? Anon: I WAS EXPECTING A FUCKING BUG OR SOME SHIT WHAT Anon: luckkyyyyyy Anon: that sounds like a Creature to me Anon: PICTURES!! SHOW US PICTURES!!!!! Anon: oh, they're sick? oh nooo ): Anon: do you know whats wrong with them?

Anon: I don't know, but I did take some blood samples so I might analyze them later and return with the results

Anon: ooh what if its a species-specific disease Anon: i hope not Anon: id rather not get platypus rabies Anon: maybe its the environment?

Anon: I'm trying to bring them back to their natural habitat now, but they came from very far away so it'll take a while.

Anon: thats so sweet! Anon: this species sounds awesome tho. imagine having a big ol mountain wolf astral with wings and a tail. middle school me would've loved that Anon: you need to like write an article abt this or something!!! incredible discovery!!!

Anon: I'd like to find more members of their species someday soon. they are very interesting so far. unfortunately they're on edge and they don't like tests too much, so i won't be taking any samples for now.

Anon: you said theyre astral-shaped right? are they also sentient? Anon: what if theyre an ancestor? or a similar species?

Anon: I'll keep studying them while they're still here, this could be a huge discovery

Anon: Will you show up photos pretty please

Anon: I'm busy at the moment so no.

Anon: ):

@zombiecicada

[jewishcissiekj]

At the end of The High Republic phase 1. Only Fallen Star & Midnight Horizon left basically. Mission to Disaster-Fallen Star comics reading post! (I'm emotionally devastated after reading Star Wars Adventures #12 you have no idea)

Love love love love this cover. Kantam Sy my beautiful partner they're soooooo

LOST ALL MY GALACTIC BAKE-OFF SCREENSHOTS AND I'M TOO LAZY TO GO BACK AND FIND NEW ONES. Here are my favorite pages anyway it was so cute and Lily was there I think? pretty sure that's her with the black hair and the bob, it seems right (and Burry!)

I have a lot to say about Trail of Shadows #3 but first of: slut. put a shirt on. Jesus.

Dalna mentioned! Haha that planet is going to helllllll

Keeve aka my special little guy finally got a hug! I bet Emerick gives the best hugs

A lot going on with the dialogue but my first thought here was "CHOPPER?????" no, it's Estala Maru's droid. It is pretty similar tho

Big fan of how connected THR is, love to randomly see Ram Jomaram in Trail of Shadows (I only got the race in THR Adventures later but it's a nice connecting thread)

Oh Avar is tiredddddd I need her

Again, the connections are great! I love this panel a lot

:):):):) Rooting for them, wholesome relationships are always welcome for me

Turns out I did, not, in fact, lose my Galactic Bake-off screenshots, I'm just bad at finding them. Here's Kantam again because look at them!!!

FUCKKKKK ZEEN AND LULA ARE GONNA END IN A TRAGEDY AREN'T THEY

connectionsssss

Deva's design is so cool, I know she's hundreds of years old and that she appears in the Sana Starros series but I hope we see her in Phase 3 too if that even makes sense

Affieeeeeeee

Wait just how big is Geode should I start running

And what if I said Yoda-Kantam-Lula Jedi lineage goes down to Mana-Ky-Asajj linea- (given Lula lives)

This isn't ending well for them is ittttt

Them! Also the 2nd one is such a funny ending page with Krix on da ground barely alive

Huh ok so I got through THR phase 1 much faster than I thought I would. All in all, I started in the middle of the summer, more or less, and not only did I finish most of it, I also squeezed a fair amount of Legends books in between. I will be starting the Fallen Star as soon as I finish another Legends book, and then Midnight Horizon and maybe a few more things and I'll start being annoying about The High Republic Phase 2 instead! (I still have some Phase 1 comics left, but after the fallen star and midnight horizon lol)

The High Republic Adventures: Galactic Bake-Off Spectacular #1 | The High Republic: Trail of Shadows #3 | The High Republic Adventures (2021) #11 | Star Wars Adventures (2020) #14 | Star Wars Adventures Annual 2021 #1 | The High Republic Adventures (2021) #12