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fordarkisthesuede · 4 years ago

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The Tolls of Justice: the Tarot, Name Meanings, and More!

Gentlepeople…

BEHOLD!

All the tarot-aligned hints! All the future foretellings! All the silly references! :) Everything you might have overlooked is here for you easy-to-read pleasure!

Naturally, there be spoilers a-plenty ahead for Batman the TellTale Series: The Tolls of Justice, so if you haven't read it (or maybe you're thinking about reading it, or this is your first time hearing about it), I'd advise waiting until you're done with each chapter to read through the sections. You can either click the link and be redirected to Ao3, or look through my tumblr tag #ttoj!

*One forwarding note: the tarot references build slowly in this story, and I only use the traditional Major & Minor Arcana. You'll see a lot of jokes and name-type references before we get to the tarot. I also simplified the numerics, but they're often displayed as roman numerals on cards, hint hint.

Prologue

gang member "Four Ears" - a very very off-the-collar reference to the line "Listen up, four-ears!" from J-Men Forever; in context, it was an off-shoot of the insult "four-eyes" but for music taste, also implying the person's taste was "square".

gang member "Muddy Nye" - his name can be boiled down to "muddy river". It works as an allusion to the messy, unclear case ahead of Bruce and the Batfam, but also as a hint to Clayface, who acted as Muddy in his first sighting of the story.

"Sunset" - a reference to everyone's favorite vampire series to pick on, the Twilight series; back when it was at the height of it's popularity, some drug dealers sold heroin marketed towards the crowd based off it's terrible and unfortunately iconic(?) line from Edward Cullen, "You're my own personal brand of heroin"…hence why the drug of choice BM is shipping here is heroin. Essentially, this plot setup is one big joke.

"FIGS" - a reference to POP! vinyls, hence the capitalized name and spiky word balloon on the packages.

"Gray Ghost [memorabilia]" - one of my (and everyone else's) favorite BtAS episodes, which proves definitively that Bruce Wayne | Batman is not only a Huge Nerd™, but also a massive collector of normal fandom things. (Do you think he troughs through blogs and fanwikis…? What am I saying, of course he does. He edits them.)

gang members "Jack Whendleham and Kirby Noltz" - nod to Jack Kirby, comic artist extraordinaire!

Ch.1: A Different Ceiling

[chapter title] - John does not wake up in Arkham at the start of the story, hence waking up to a different ceiling. He also hits different limitations on what he can do, so it's also a different kind of "ceiling". (Like the term "the glass ceiling", the invisible barrier a demographic hits in a hierarchy.)

St. Dymphna New Life Home - named after Saint Dymphna, the patron saint of mental illness. There's no "'s" at the end because I saw other clinics named after Saints didn't use the possessive form when referencing them.

The Lucky Hotel - an oxymoron, really; the unluckiest place to get stuck at with it's seedy history, but also the place where John "gets lucky"…in a couple of different ways!

Stitched Up Alterations - a heavy nod to the wonderful batjokesy line from S2, "We're two threads in the same stitch". It's pretty deeply ingrained in fanon (and technically canon, if you go with The Dark Knight) that Joker makes his own clothes, hence Batman rarely finding him through his tailor. Since John's thrifty and clearly made his original Joker outfit(s), I piggybacked off it as a legit skill to give him. I mean, come on, the guy is always so stylish! And you're really going to look at me and say he didn't alter his thrifted shirts and vests to fit his sleek frame? Puh-leeease.

13th Street - 13 is a traditionally unlucky number in western culture; hence the "Lucky Hotel" there having a bloody history, along with a failed, closed casino nearby.

Corazón gang - okay, I admit…I'm still a weeb at heart. It's a One Piece reference. Corazon was one of the few post-timeskip new characters I really liked; his name is Spanish for "heart", and he sported a heart motif. Like the gang in this story, he also died before the start of the main storyline.

Ch. 2: Face Values

[chapter title] - A reference to the phrase "not taking things at face value", which is very evident in this story. Also doubles as a rather loose reference to the upcoming Tarot cards.

Sebastian Overfield - The name Sebastian means "from Sebaste", as is derived from the Greek word sebastos ("venerable", someone who has a lot of respect). Overfield of course is "over" and "field", implying the family is on a high hill overlooking/overseeing/maintaining a certain field. As Seb is a reverend, this name is well-fit for him.

orange rose [gift from John] - means "passion" in the language of flowers, and can allude to fascination; this can be taken platonically or romantically…but it's definitely romantic when it's coming from John.

blue iris [gift from John] - means "faith and hope" in the language of flowers, and sometimes are associated with royalty; an allusion to Batman/Bruce's overall symbolism in the eyes of Gotham…and John.

Chandis [ship, circa Prologue] - A reference to Chandi | Chandika, the Hindu deity; the short version of their story is that they are a demon slayer, known to be angry and passionate, wield multiple weapons, and ride a lion. And who was on the ship? Hmm…

Ch. 3: Ink Trails

[chapter title] - A reference to the Alterations' claim slip John finds, which ends up leading back to the Court of Owls. It doubles as a reference to the mask tattoo/clue on Ian 'Nito'.

Faith Ackart - "Ackart" is a variant of "ackhart", derived from "ekkehard", which we can say roughly means "brave/hardy". The name "faith" and "hardy" together is another very subtle clue for the audience towards the villains' motives. (Well, I say that, but it was really more of a joke-clue for me to giggle at. And it makes a good reporter name!)

Lou Monger - the guy's a fish monger…with the last name Monger. It's-a joke! ;D

Ian 'Nito' Coggs - first mentioned without his real last name, but "Ian Coggs, Nito", is a pun on the word "incognito"…which is what Clayface is here.

FriendBook/Chirp/bloggr/uBox - takes on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and YouTube respectively. (This started back in my 'Season 3' story, At the Brink of Midnight, though I've since learned that bloggr was a real thing. :T) The 'uBox' is meant to be a play on 'jumping box'/'the box' as other terms for TV, like 'the tube'.

"whole tomato of pins" - the supposed history of tomato-shaped pincushions is that tomatoes placed on mantels repelled evil spirits and guaranteed prosperity, but I really wanted to just allude to the common pin-cushion shape. (My mom once had a whole little basket of strawberry shaped pin-cushions. I remember "borrowing" them a lot as a kid to play with. And then "losing" them.)

"sock and buskin masks" - these are a reference to the "comedic sock" and "tragic buskin (i.e. boot)" of the Greek comedy-tragedy theatre masks. I figured something like them would be a good logo for the "false faces", as BM is obsessed with masks. It also doubles as a natural callback to the "your relationship with x has changed" feature of TT games.

Ch. 4: Suite of Cups

[chapter title] - the first chapter to be a reference to the Tarot, in specific the Minor Arcana of Cups; rather than specifying the card at play outright, this title is a pun on the aforementioned arcana "suite", as the main location of events this chapter are in a casino's hotel suite. One can interpret many Cups cards at play here, but...

○ Specifically, in the Casino's suite/crime scene, there are 8 visible seats, but 7 cups on the table. The 7 of Cups refers to choices, fantasy, and illusion, an indicates there are multiple opportunities or many paths you can take, but they should be chosen carefully; when reversed, it can mean confusion, diversion, and temptation, and indicate a lack of choice or failure to choose.

○ The upright version is definitely in play, with the overall root of TellTale games being choices, and some "the player" makes this chapter will move your relationships with Tiffany and John in different ways, which can strengthen your relationships with them. If "the player" has chosen to be a more violent Batman, the way the Talon - and later, the Court - treats Batman is different.

○ The Reversed reading can be interpreted for the Court's complete disregard for the mere notion of choice.

Bauta - a Venetian carnival mask, meant to represent 'anonymous decisions' via it's original design of protecting identities. It's quite common in carnivals.

Melpomene-Thalia - the Venetian masks for comedy and tragedy, a la 'sock and buskin', the masks used as a general symbol for theatre. You can practically taste the irony, given who's shown wearing it...

Volto - a Venetian mask, meant to represent 'anonymity, quiet exit' for it's blank face. It's also known as the "Citizen Mask" because of it's worn by the common folk (in comparison to the more elaborate masks).

The Lot [casino] - named for "drawing lots", like drawing straws or matches to pick a person to do a task (usually with the shortest straw having to do the task, but it varies). This is both a pun on the fact that it's a casino - where you try your luck at gambling - and corresponds with the theme of foretelling the future that's woven throughout much of the story.

The Wednesday Nighters gang - this doesn't mean anything in particular. I'm a big fan of Midsomer Murders, and there's an episode ("Death in a Chocolate Box") where it references a few dirty cops who frequently took the Friday night shift at a station for episode-plot-reasons, who called themselves The Friday Nighters. It's an off-shoot reference to it, hence the corrupt cops on the gang in this story. :)

[John's voicemail] - Another BtAS episode I love is "the terrible secret of Bruce Wayne". In particular, I loved Joker's voicemail when Dr. Strange calls in ("Boy, do YOU have the wrong number!") and I wanted to do something like that. But, y'know, way less murdery.

"F85H4ND" - l33t-written "Fate's Hand", for…well, the hand of fate, supposedly guiding you through life/events. Another correspondent to the foretelling the future theme.

Michael Hodgson - not all of the names I pick for characters mean anything. Sometimes their names are just loose references to things I like. This is a silly mish-mashup of the original hosts of Mystery Science Theater 3000, Michael [Nelson] and [Joel] Hodgeson. (Joel was the first host + show creator, and Mike was the second host who closed out the original series run.)

"40F5WRD5" [Batcomputer archive] - l33t for the 4 of Swords, a card in the Minor Arcana for rest and restoration; since the archives and file names are randomly generated when not prompted otherwise with manual input, an otherworldly force seems to be saying 'get some damn sleep Bruce'.

[John's ringtone] - I know, TT always has everyone's phone on silent. I don't care. Bruce's ringtone for John is "Mack the Knife", a song about a violent mobster, played on a carnival organ. Chosen because 1) John probably loves that song, 2) I thought it was funny that it has the line "the shark bites - with his teeth, dear - when he shows them pearly whites" and how well that goes with John's A+ dental care... 3) TeamFourStar made jokes in their BtTTS S2 playthrough about having "a special ringtone whenever John calls [them]"…why would I not carry that through? They did get me to where we are now, you know. ;)

Ryde - the in-game stand-in for Lyft, the not-a-taxi service.

Ch. 5: The Wheel Still Spins on the Upturned Chariot

[chapter title] - a reference to 2 tarot cards in the Major Arcana. 1) "The Wheel"/"The Wheel of Fortune", which is a sign for continuous cycles, inevitable fate, and usually indicates good fortune and pre-destiny when the card is presented upright. When reversed, it can signify bad luck and an unfavorable fate. 2) "The Chariot", symbolizing a path forward to success, confidence, and overcoming obstacles; when reversed, it's stands for recklessness and lack of direction/control. 3) As the Chariot is upside down, John's original plans have been upended and everything goes out of his control in a chaotic situation. He’s essentially "not at the driver’s seat" for a little while. "The player" decides which direction to take the wheel in - either letting him lash out violently and send him on more solitary and dangerous path, or satisfy his need for stability by embracing his new relationships. The Chariot is always upturned here, but whether the wheel spins forward or backward is up to "the player's" decisions.

511 N. Blade Street - this one's a bit messy. 511 = V I I, or VII in roman numerals, which =7. The tarot cards are traditionally numbered in roman numerals. North, for pointing upright, and "blade" is synonymous with "sword". So it’s the "7 of Swords", in the upright position – referring to deception and trickery, which is of course what's going on in regards to who Ian 'Nito' Coggs really is…

Apt 1005 - even muddier, but this is referring to the 10 of Swords, which is for betrayal and backstabbing, hinting at the true motives of "Ian" | Clayface. 10-0-5, so 10 and the l33t for "OS" = 10-o-S.

900 Wanda Way - Both a pun on the phrase “wander away” and the 9 of Wands in the Minor Arcana, which alludes to pushing forward to achieve victory. A good allusion for a clinic, me-thought.

400 Wanda Way - The 4 of Wands in the Minor Arcana stands for community, another good allusion for a clinic.

Karen McCarthy - named after the most stereotypically uptight narcissistic asshole the masses have agreed to call 'Karen', and both McCarthyism and another famous lady with the surname McCarthy. Because I wanted you to know the second you see her name that she is *horrible*. (Funny, though, there's 2 senators named McCarthy that are pieces of shit and one infamous quasi-celeb who's the face of the anti-vax scene. Is it just a cursed family name?)

Ch. 6: The Tips of Our Swords

[chapter title] - Refers to the 4 of Swords card in the Minor Arcana, as the "swords" are alluding to the four active members in the Batfam - Bruce, John, Tiffany, and Iman - who work together on the case[s]; you can infer this title to a presentation not unlike the Musketeers joining swords to affirm themselves as a team, as they all gather together. The reversed reading of the card is for restlessness/stress in Bruce's case, and the clear signal of the universe to tell him to relax, and the reading when presented right-side up is for the break it gives to "the player", with the homey atmosphere of the Batfam spending time together. Either reading is completely valid here.

○ BUT, as Alfred is a non-active member of the Batfam, we could also say that 5 of Swords is also at play, right-side-up for the fighting and resentment with Alfred, and John's hinted budding conflict with him; and 5 reversed for Bruce's attempts at making up with Tiffany. If one illustrated the gathering of our four heroes joining swords like the musketeers over a breakfast table, then Alfred would be sitting drinking tea, standing as a symbol of the Ace of Cups, signifying new emotions or stirrings of feelings.

○ If we stretch the metaphor eeeven further, the title can also be a loose reference to the Sword of Damocles; threats always hang above the heads of powerful people, and in this case the looming threat of Black Mask and the mysterious assassin, ever-present in Batman's world…

Dr. Brandi September - literally "Sword" and "Seventh Month", alluding to the 7 of Swords, hinting to deception and manipulation at play.

"I was tired of the soup du jour" - a shameless Devo reference; a tiring of the routine/everyday. "I'm tired of the soup du jour - I want to end this prophylactic tour - ain't nobody around me - understands my potato - I'm only a spud boy - lookin' for a real tomato" - DEVO, "Mr DNA/Smart Patrol".

Motel 11, Augury Road - "augury" is another word for crows; as a gathering of crows can be a method of fortune-telling, this a reference to a gathering of 11 crows, which when seen is supposed to be indicative of disguising or revealing secrets.

Ch. 7: Drawing the Strings

[chapter title] - meant to allude to John aligning the strings connecting the people and crimes together, like an old-fashioned way of mapping clues; can be interpreted as these crime-strings on the proverbial board being drawn closer together, marking the center of the "web" as the Court of Owls

Frieda Baast - Frieda, an allusion to the Norse goddess Freya, who rode on a chariot driven by cats, and Baast, the Egyptian goddess who had the form of a cat. It makes it really obvious who was staying at the Motel 11, huh?

room 14 [Selina Kyle's motel room] - a reference to the 14th tarot card, "Temperance", which when upright is meant for choosing the middle path between choices. This is meant to reference Selina herself, currently at a secret, personal crossroads and being in "the middle"; John can influence her hidden choice by either making her think about what her potential job's employers are really aligning themselves with, or taunting her into how she can't leave her old life behind. (Whether John is violent or not doesn't completely impact her choice, but it does impact how they interact later if Selina winds up in the hands of our villains.)

Oracle, Spoiler, Batgirl, Spectrum - Batman's had a lot of non-Robin sidekicks in comics, including Batgirl (originally Barbara Gordon), Oracle (Barbara Gordon, post-Batgirl-forced-retirement and computer hacker extraordinaire), and Spoiler (Stephanie Brown, who "spoiled" crimes). As a fan of Ao3/tumblr's @fractualized 's own Telltale Bat-verse fics (the "Release John Doe" series), I added in the reference to "Spectrum", which Tiffany became in lieu of "Robin". A wink from one fan-writer to another! ;)

"I'm steppin' out, my dear - to breathe an atmosphere […] - that simply reeks […] with class" - John's singing a classic Fred Astaire hit, "Top Hat, White Tie, and Tails".

Eric, Jerome, Jeremiah, Jack [John's "Normal name" ideas] - As this story allows "the player" to pick a name for John to use in place of his own, you can pick between some classic and modern references to Joker's alternate personas over the years. Eric White Border (edit: goddang it that's what i get for looking at White Knight while writing this up and never double-checking), Joker's regular persona in the New 52 Batman comic line; Jerome or Jeremiah of the Gotham TV series, both of which are different aspects of Joker's personality through media, with a more modern gritty version in Jerome (think Heath Ledger's Joker) and a more modern take on Joker's sociopathy in Jeremiah; and last but not least Jack Napier, the first official name of Joker circa Tim Burton's Batman (1989), and the one most popularly used (BtAS and other comics throughout the years since use this name). "The player"'s choice doesn't impact the story or the way John acts, but it does give a surprise feature later. ;)

Matt Chaney - Aka, "Clayface", Matt has both new and old elements in his name alone. Matt, for Matt Hagen, the most well-known/used of the Clayface personas, and Chaney, for classic film actor Lon Chaney, AKA the man of a thousand faces. This Clayface is an aspiring actor who is psychologically dependent on Moddy to keep him handsome after a terrible car accident left his face marred. He uses his excellent makeup skills and acting to infiltrate the False Face Society, and double-plays them and the Court of Owls.

Root / MuSec - stand-ins for Vine and TikTok, respectively. "MuSec" is both a play on the word "musac" (the word for 'elevator music' and generic produced music you hear in fake stores and the like) and the mish-mash of the words "music" and "second", referencing the short length of the videos. "Root" was used in a prior story (At the Brink of Midnight), and acts as another "natural network" type name akin to Vine; though I do recognize "Vine" might have come along as part of the phrase "I heard it through the grape-vine". I have a feeling some Aussie fans might find the fake-Vine name funny...or just awkward.

Ch. 8: It Had to Be You

[chapter title] - A reference to the classic crooner song, "It Had to Be You"; specifically, the one that flows through the first scene is a cover done by Frank Sinatra, meant to align with other Bat-media's use of Sinatra where Joker and Batman are concerned. The Arkham games got his famous "Under My Skin", and another crooner's "Only You". Batjokes fans/content creators have also used "Strangers in the Night" for their relationship. I wanted to present one that would feel at-home in the TellTale universe regardless of what route you end up with, and what's more perfect than a song about finally discovering the love of your life? The song fits them to a tee, in my humble opinion…

Estella Art Gallery - Selina's art gallery, mentioned previously to have been the site of a Talon attack. "Estella" translates to "star", for the tarot card "The Star". When presented upright, it means hope and rebirth; this card can be presented after a disaster, such as an event like "The Tower". Normally, it can be interpreted as a card to show a phase where you have trust and faith in yourself and the universe. Selina was turning over a new leaf and enjoying her new life until the Owls found out who she was.

Mrs. Bollard - "bald-headed person"…this poor woman got her wig snatched as John stole Bruce from her on the dance floor. xD

"I knew today's horoscope was bullshit" - a nod to earlier, where Roman mentioned his horoscope when visiting Bruce; "a friend will help you out of a tight bind." Not that it was mentioned like that... still! I wonder what today's was? "You will be fortunate in your business endeavors"? Ha ha ha! But really, the horoscope is another nod to the theme of foretelling the future, as it's a popular method to try and see how your day, month, season, or year will be. Not that I know what sign Roman is… *thinking face*

[Achievement Unlocked: Batman Who Laughs] - John showing up in the Batman cowl was not only funny, but a direct nod to the Batman Who Laughs. The TT games had Batman comic titles often used as Achievements, so I figured I'd put in some…

[Achievement Unlocked: Batwoman Rises] - Iman helping the team out in the spare Batman suit is naturally a nod to Batwoman, and something I wanted to do for a while. ;D

Brighella - a Venetian mask taken from a play now used to depict a cunning and mischievous servant. Originally the mask was used to depict a greedy villain character.

The Two Gilded Cups - A restaurant in-story that references "The Two of Cups" tarot card, a card representing unity, partnership, and two becoming one. When upright, it's a card that can reference lovers or a new relationship; when reversed, it can represent broken communication, imbalance, or tension. As such, the couple who were seen at the restaurant - Sonja Townsend and her husband - are established lovers who work together for the Court of Owls, but those who were really there are Jackie Lant and Matt Chaney, who are in an imbalanced relationship. "Gilded" implies that "The Cups" are covered unnecessarily with gold - this is both in reference to Jackie and Matt's disguise of the Townsends and the truth about their relationship. Matt's lies are covering for his narcissism and selfishness, and ultimately is the only thing holding him and Jackie's relationship together.

Moddy - A fictional body modification clay-mud-putty that's a product of Janus Industries, this makeup is the favorite of Matt Chaney and the reason we can call him "Clayface". Like the traditional Clayface, Matt is in dire need to have his fix of the makeup, despite what it does to him - as John notes, it leaves a weird burn-like sensation, and since Matt has deep scar tissue he covers every minute of every day, it's made the skin damage worse.

"You’re really committed to drowning in that river" - A riff on the old joke "denial ("de Nile") isn't just a river in Egypt".

"Your words are honey in my ears, but my brain always turns it into bitter wax" - In Futurama, Fry has a silly line of “Sweet words! Sweet words that turn into bitter wax in my ears!”. It always had the potential to be a great metaphor if the words were twisted around! :) Plus, I mean, come on, this is a totally On Brand™ thing for John to say!

Ch. 9: Strength in Numbers

[chapter title] - Referencing the Strength card, for bravery, compassion, and inner strength; the title also doubles as a play on “different kinds of strengths”. Strength is the will the expose your truths. Strength is finding compassion to help others. Strength is staying true to your convictions in the face of opposition. We see all different kinds of strength on display here.

○ It can also a reference to the different partnerships going on, with Jackie joining the team (unofficially), Bruce and Tiffany going off to tackle the other half of our case, and John and Iman’s team-up. :)

"[John] could barely hear it over the tinny electronic whistling tune emitting from his own phone, telling him the person on the other end was a mystery" - this is referencing an old tumblr joke! Yes, John has the “It is a mystery” tone on his phone for unknown calls…complete with the little (:o) ghost icon.

CUP5K1NG [license plate] - Referring to the King of Cups card, a card portraying emotional balance and compassion. As it's not written as "K1NGCUP5", it implies it's a reversed card, signifying there's manipulation and instability at work. Even though Matt doesn't own the car this license plate belongs to, it's definitely tied to him since it's his getaway ride, and thus hints at what's to be revealed in his and Jackie's hotel room.

Aylin Street - the name "Alyin" translates into “moon halo; one that belongs to the moon”, thereby being a reference to the Moon card, representing mysteries and illusions. An investigation is afoot!

“Looks like I’ve got the red light, kiddo.” - In stage acts, the red light is to indicate to the performer their time on stage is up. Generally, it’s reserved for comedians who either overrun their time or are losing the audience. John's joking that he's been given the red light to exit stage left (but not persued by bear).

"What’s the ‘G’ for?” - Iman's 'Gotham Construction' jumpsuit has a G different from John's - it's shaped more like a gear. This is another Mystery Science Theater reference, in particular the logo for Gizmonic Institute, the company/labs that "employed" original host Joel and the mad scientist Dr. Forrester (and his assistant, TV's Frank), who started the experiments of forcing a guy and his robot friends to watch reeeally bad movies. The result was 12 (soon to be 13!) seasons of some guys making hilarious and very memorable jokes at said bad movies' expense. Does this reference mean that Bruce is just as huge a dork as I am, or does it mean that MST3K is real in this universe?! You make the call! ;D

○ …if you read 'What's the 'G' for?' in Invader Zim's voice, that's also valid. Especially if you followed it with “I dON’t know!” in GIR's. (There is no cringing here! We openly embrace our childhood silliness!)

MasterOfClayFace / #IdW3arThat [Matt Chaney's social media login] - naturally Matt is so far up on his high horse that he considers himself a master of clay work…and of course his nickname is ClayFace! His password is a joke in and out of canon, being a riff on Lemon Demon song: “A mask of my own face – I’d wear that” ~ Lemon Demon, “Mask of My Own Face” [Nature Tapes].

3055 [Jackie Lant's InstaPic followers] - According to research, the average Instagram following is about 1000, so Jackie is above average popularity. Anything above 10k is usually(?) celeb status. The number 3055 is meant to be broken up and turned partially into l33t, to make 3-O-S-S, or 3 of Sword[s]. The 3 of Swords card in the tarot signifies heartbreak and grief, stemming from betrayal, loneliness, and rejection. Jackie experienced all three of these heart-piercing swords during her return to Gotham, with Matt basically forcing her into isolation, betraying her trust, and rejecting her input and values in favor of his own; but she didn't really know it until the truth was exposed.

8055 [Matt Chaney's InstaPic followers] - similarly, Matt's follower count is meant to be 8-O-S-S, or the 8 of Swords card. It signifies self-victimization and imprisonment. In particular, the card shows a person restrained and trapped, but their helplessness is a show…they could choose to get out, if they got over themselves. Matt is incredibly selfish, so it comes as no surprise that he will play the victim card.

#OnlyInGotham - Another tumblr reference! I love the @hashtagonlyingotham blog! ( ^3^)

The Herold Rite's Theatre - A play on the word "Hierophant": Herold, like “herald (ruler/champion)” and Rites, like “sacred rites”. In the tarot, the Hierophant card represents following tradition and values, which for the Owls is their very core. This is basically a big ol' hint that Iman and John are heading into Owl territory, but also foreshadows the religious undercut of The Court and Reverend Sebastian Overfield's role.

"a familiar red-pyramid-and-floating-eyeball" [graffiti] - A reference to my icon! ;D You think I can't self-promo?

trading cards [found in theatre storage] - In the Theatre, John finds "old promotional trading cards for an old sci-fi film with big-brained aliens". This is a shameless and loving reference to Tim Burton's 1996 film Mars Attacks!, of which my AO3/tumblr icon and username is lifted - the movie was based on a series of Topps trading cards from the 1960's, and had it's own set of cards with movie scenes and behind-the-scenes pictures (and summaries of events) printed for the movie! They also used them as promotional tools, and if you get very lucky purchasing a copy of the old single-issue comic books from the 1995 Mars Attacks run from Image Comics, you can get a promo card.

https://bit.gt.gd/S3272019F?=RO - Originally "gd" stood for a derivative of Google Drive, but I can’t look at it and not see “get good”. The "S3272019F?" is meant to stand for "Started: March 27, 2019 Finished: ?". I can't believe I started uploading the story in March of 2019! Man, 2020 really messed with my sense of time…

Ch. 10: Tantara Bounces Off of Moonlit Walls

[chapter title] - "Tantara" is defined as "the blare of a trumpet or horn", as seen in the Judgement card, which stands for self-reflection as well as reckoning, and can indicate rebirth. There's of course another reference to the Moon card, for intuitions and the unconscious being. Then what are the "[Moonlit] Walls"? Well, they're the part of the only Major Arcana tarot card to represent a building - they are the walls of the Tower, symbolizing destruction and disaster. When all the cards' meanings are put all together, this alludes to a time of discovery among absolute disaster.

○ Expanded, the whole title is a reference to both forms of Judgement occurring – self-reflection and change are happening with Bruce and John as their mysteries and anxieties are finally put to rest: John is undergoing his final "rebirth", seeing his reality clearly in Arkham’s padded cell; Bruce seems to finally come to terms with working with Tiffany, as his fear of not being able to protect her comes through with her showing she's able take care of herself and prove she's a true asset to the team; and the Court of Owls finally comes to light, with Matt Chaney, the Talon Adam, and the Talon Sonja Townsend finally showing their real motivations.

○ We can also interpret the title as a reckoning coming for the Owls, who have long been obscuring the truth of their deeds and whose true motives have been murky. They've built their own tower of disaster with bricks of delusion, and judgement's horn is blaring a warning through their hallways…

"X-Sharp Manufacturing" - a reference to the 10 of Swords (hence the "sharp"), the tarot card for betrayal, backstabbing, and defeat. For Bruce, there is disaster here beyond his control that ends in a [temporary] defeat. For Roman Sionis, owner of the small factory as part of Janus Inc., he's unwittingly walked into his own betrayal.

"Merlin's Flower Arrangements" - Merlin, a famous wizard, is a reference to The Magician card, who defines “as above, so below”… And as John is taken to a secondary location, so is Bruce. :)

"La Luna Painting" - La Luna, aka The Moon; remember, shadows can play tricks on your eye, so something’s afoot here… Aka "HEY GUYS THIS TOTALLY ISN’T SUSPICIOUS OR ANYTHING NO SIR"

Yelsnia Theater - Yelsnia is…actually a name. But searching for it shows my true hint, as it's "Ainsley" backwards. "Ainsley" derives from Scottish words meaning “alone, solitary” or “hermitage”. This is a reference to the Hermit card – in this case, it's blatantly upside down, referring to loneliness, isolation, and a general disconnection with mankind. AKA, the path Matt is on.

"the looming pillar tower" [Arkham] - A blatant representation of The Tower. It stands for impending disaster and "an upheaval of a foundation of reality". Of course, this can be taken in two ways. 1) That John has overcome/avoided the disaster of another mental breakdown. 2) That John’s foundation of his delusions - that he’ll wake up in or get sent back to Arkham for his sickness - was wrong in a realistic sense, as he’s made serious progress in managing his emotional issues, and right in an unrealistic one, where the only way he could be sent back was through an outside force, i.e. the Owls.

10210475 [inmate number] - When separated for the numeric cipher, we get 10-21-4-7-5, or J-U-D-G-E

13051420 [inmate number] - When separated for the numeric cipher, we get 13-5-14-20, or M-E-N-T

○ When put together, the inmate numbers read "Judgement", the tarot card is shown here for John's choices and character arc on display throughout this chapter. When the card is reversed, it implies a lack of self-awareness, which we can also attribute to "the player's" choices for John if they make Bad Decisions. If you simply take the word "judgement" at face-value (without involving the tarot) it also works wonderfully, applying to John's entire situation as being a trial/judgement set by a higher force.

"The prince returned to the tower" dialogue [the prophetic cell mate] - Whether the person speaking is physical or not, John notes he can hear the scratching of pencil on paper within the cell, implying a person is writing their words down like a story… “The prince,” (John Doe, alias Joker, traditionally the ‘Clown Prince’ of Gotham) “having returned to the tower” (Arkham Asylum, the foundations of John's issues) “to reclaim his crown,” (assurance in himself and his reality; the completion of John's "self" with his final choices and becoming Vigilante!Joker for good) “trails after the fiend” (confronts the Talon Adam, alias Owl-man) “who's flying on wings of retribution” (core beliefs, perceived sense of justice). “The fiend’s wings are big, but the bones are brittle” (the Owl-man is imposing and persistent, but his physical "wings" are his weakness).

○ If you couple the Court of Owl's belief that G*d has written down the destinies of everyone in the world [as they are each born] with the knowledge that someone was writing down a short version of John's events at Arkham…hmmm.....

Room 11 [Iman's cell room] - The 11th card in the Major Arcana is "Justice". This can reference either 1) The just-desserts coming for Talon Adam/"The Owlman", or 2) The outcome of the player’s choice to take Iman with them or not.

11 minutes + 16 seconds [remaining time on bomb timer] - 11:16. 11/16, aka my birthday! :) I only wish I had finished Chapter 10 in time for the chapter's publishing year (2020), lol~

"Our Faith brings Perseverance, and Our Perseverance guides Justice, for Mercy to God." - The Court of Owls' beliefs circle around 3 principles bringing people closer to G*d: Faith, Perseverance, and Justice. Their belief hardens their persistence in their actions (as they are written and not guided by "Evil"), and their goals are ultimately to deliver justice where the human system failed and "Evil" prevailed in "escaping", hence the guiding of one principle to another. "Mercy to God" is what is granted by righting the injustices of the world; as G*d wrote your future down exactly, Evil can corrupt it, and once corrupted this does G*d a harmful injustice. The Court considers themselves close to G*d by "mercifully" stopping further corruption via eliminating "Evil" in all it's worldly forms…

Speaking of the 3 principles, our main Owls are meant to be "embodiments" of these in the story.

○ Talon Sonja Townsend represents Faith, driving home her belief in G*d's absolute destiny. She is corrupted by her own selfish goal of eliminating her son-in-law, but is also so by-the-book she does not think to look at the obvious double-standards of the Court, and doesn't think her underlying actions are guided by "Evil".

○ Talon Adam represents Perseverance, having fought Joker to unconsciousness, and was willing to blow up Arkham with himself still inside just to eliminate it; he is the most brainwashed, but the least corrupt in motivations, only striving to get what he feels is "justice". On the flip side of Adam is Talon Evan, who despite serious injury still appeared in Court and jumped at the chance to kill Joker and Batman, despite the Court's general appreciation of Batman; he is corrupt in personal selfishness, as he possesses no "real" faith in the Court's belief system and doesn't like others getting credit by stealing his targets.

§ ...it's also worth mentioning that the names for Adam and Evan are meant to be derivative of "Adam and Eve". In this way, it can also be seen as a parallel to The Lovers card, which one can attribute to Bruce and John. While Bruce + John are oddly harmonious and undeniably have a strong bond regardless of story paths, Adam + Evan are discontent rivals, with Adam "stealing" Evan's target and good graces with the Court, and Evan very pointedly beating up and kidnapping Batman (who Adam admires) to set up Batman's eventual Judgement.

○ Reverend Sebastian Overfield is the main representation of Justice, though he embodies all 3 principles. The Court’s belief is that their pursuit of justice – stopping Evil/chaos via deaths of criminals – overrides their own traditional sins. Because they are being helpful to G*d, granting Them mercy by righting the injustices of Evil and putting G*d’s Word back on the right path, they are in G*d’s favor. Therefore, as the leader of the Court and the one who organized everything by handing down "God's word", he is the carrier of Justice; without him, the Court would be nowhere and G*d would be shedding more tears over their ruined work…at least, in his mind. Naturally, he is the exact opposite of what justice should be. He is biased and unwavering in strict faith, as much a carrier of chaos as he doesn't want to be…

○ Of course, this is all also up to interpretation. One can interpret Adam as "justice", Evan as "perseverance", and Sebastian as the stand-in for "God", as he is the Court's ruler and is the sole person to hand down "the word of God".

"[…]if two people you normally count on for one reason or another" - Alfred made a subtle dig at John being Bruce's boy-toy. Ouch, Al'…

"[…]given it's your pet project, and all" - Even though Selina is talking about Arkham, she's making a dig at former-Arkham-resident John being Bruce's "pet", who in her eyes was Bruce's main reason for getting Arkham revitalized. :\ Man, everybody's picking on their relationship…

petrichor - The smell proceeding rain. Because it's not a climactic fight scene in Gotham city without rain.

Ch. 11: The Tolls of Justice

[chapter title] - Naturally referring to the Justice card of the tarot, this title is the same as the story title. Funnily enough, this is the 11th chapter, and the 11th card in the tarot deck. (I guarantee you I did not plan this bit… Funny how these things play out, ain't it?) The Justice card naturally stands for cause and effect, clarity, or truth; ultimately, it's a representation of karmic retribution, and what the Owls are in dire need of facing. The title overall is referring to both the [para]phrase "do not ask for whom the bell tolls, for it tolls for thee" (in the original context: a grievance over death for all out of love for community/mankind, not just one person) and the "toll" - as in cost or damage - of enacting justice. What Bruce has put himself through to become and keep being Batman, the enactor of vengeance for all those wronged in the city of Gotham, and what ultimately the Court of Owls has sacrificed - either wittingly or unwittingly - in the name of justice. It also extends to John, who for the sake of "justice" is routinely stuck in Arkham, in one way or another, and has never had a conceivably just or fair life at all - thus paying the unwilling toll opposing Bruce and the Owls. We can also extend it to Tiffany, who is making good on her work with Bruce to "pay her toll" for her own crime, with her toll being seen in a positive light as Robin, compared to what life sentence she might have been paying otherwise.

[the sword in the pulpit] - a symbolic reference to The Justice card, as the Justice card in the major arcana often depicts a sword, either alone or in someone's hand. This can also be interpreted as a reference to the Ace of Swords in the minor arcana, which is normally pointing upwards, referring to victory, truth, or ideas; when flipped, as it would be when looking at the initial depiction of the sword as a "cross", it stands for lies and confusion. The sword in the story itself is a symbol of justice, and uses snakes as the stand-in for the forces of Evil, which are destroyed by the owl making up the handle and supposedly wielding the blade.

"the skull peeking out of the knight’s helmet" [card in the box on Reverend's desk] - A very clear reference to the Death card, famous in the tarot deck. It signifies change, inevitable cycles, and new beginnings/directions. Depending on the reading, it can be interpreted as an actual death, but more often than not it’s merely showing of a life change. As this is the Reverend’s deck, it seems the last card he drew was Death… The viewer can interpret this as a reading from the Reverend into the Arkham plot, where Death is representing John’s own changes, the end of Talon Adam’s latest “cycle”, or the actual deaths that had occurred (no matter how many there are in the end). The viewer can also read this as the Reverend trying to find his own fate, the fate of Roman Sionis for his trial, or Batman’s fate. All of them are quite valid, but I feel the most accurate interpretation is that the Rev' was trying to read the future of the Court of Owls.

○ …as mentioned above, the Death card is the most overt reference to the Tarot. This way, if someone didn't piece together the weird chapter titles, the specified numbers and number-letter strings, and/or the odd names of people and places, they'd be able to double-back and see them as clues. They are put there purely as a storytelling clue for the audience. As you can tell, the tarot references increased with each chapter…almost like someone is trying to get your attention…

[the framed painting] - a reference to The High Priestess, aka card II of the tarot. This card is indicative of intuition and looking within, and can signal to mysteries at hand or a higher power at work. The pillars on the card are (hilariously enough) marked with a B and J, and are in black and white, respectively. They stand for Boaz (Strength) and Jachin (Establishment), and are meant to represent the duality of nature, good/evil, masculine/femine, etc. Naturally, both pillars are equal. In this depiction, it is both relating to “the player’s” own duality, with the ability to be flexible as Bruce and John and have both good and bad decisions play through the story, and as a strong hint to a higher power being present.

8-9-6-3 [candle puzzle] - It takes a bit to work out by sorting through the alphabetic values to each number, but it doesn’t make a complete word. On ye olde phone keypad, 1 is always null in value, so it’s always unlit in the candle sequence, and since there are 4 other numbers present we know it doesn’t count as part of the string. (If there were only 3, you could guess a year from your notes.) My idea for the “game” specs of this part would be that the key-code would be somewhat randomized, either using a specific year (if Tiffany and/or Iman are not present, this is *always* the case, as you have to utilize your background notes and the candles by yourself), a few translated letter combinations just for fun, or an occasional number-card type combo, as presented here. (In some lucky scenarios, “the player” doesn’t have to solve the candle puzzle, since Tiffany can figure out the year by herself and just call you over when she opens the door. You still have the option of looking around, though!) In this case, the values are another tarot-themed hint, using the card number first: 8-w-n-d, for the 8 of Wands, which alludes to quick actions. AKA “Get ready for quick-time events!!!”

"looking more like the king on the throne than a judge" - Meant to allude to The Emperor card, the ultimate royal symbol in the major arcana and always depicted with a king. Traditionally this symbolizes power, authority, control, etc., but when reversed it alludes to overbearingness, arrogance, and chaos. For the Owls, they would likely see themselves as the upright depictions, even when presented upside down before the person doing their reading… And here is no better example, with the Reverend Overfield taking place as the ultimate authority over the Court.

"like [Sonja] had a say in commanding the room" - Alluding to The Empress, in conjunction with Rev’s position, this card alludes to femininity, motherhood, nurturing, creativity, and/or abundance. When reversed, it stands for neglect, creative blocks, overbearing, and/or uncaring. Sonja is a good example of an overbearing mother, trying to make decisions for her child because she thinks she knows best - thus fits the reversed reading well.

[Courtroom layout] - How curious is it that I haven't referenced The Devil when we have so many opportunities? That's because I strove to show this card rather than reference it overtly. The Devil card depicts El Diablo in the upper middle, lording over the card, with two souls chained to him at the bottom. The classic depiction shows a female demon-like human on one side and a male demon-like human on the other. As such, Rev. Sebastian sits on the high bench as the judge, overlooking the courtroom, and Sonja and Evan sit beneath him, one embedded on each side of the lower bench, sitting before him rather than beside him. Naturally, The Devil card represents temptation, manipulation, and materialism (though not necessarily of physical things). There is nothing more suited to The Devil card than the Reverend Sebastian Overfield and the Talons.

Circe | Cindy Peterson - Circe was the original Black Mask's downfall, or at least serious decent into who would be Black Mask. In her origin, she was a model who seduced Roman and ended up being blamed for his poor business choices, as he completely revolved Janus Inc.'s new direction around her image, somewhat at her insistence. Roman seemed to love her, but grew vengeful when she dumped him. She was named Circe, after the witch who lured men to their doom. In this story, she plays a much less active role but ultimately still serves as Roman's downfall, though in a very different way. : she does seem to care about Roman, going so far as to hide him on her yacht, not rat him out for his overt gang activities, and even leave Gotham with him for good to run from Batman despite not being in a relationship with him for long. But Bruce is able to spin this to his advantage, openly lying that she was working for him undercover and twisting Roman's affection for her into paranoid doubt, which he eventually lashed out with and ended up being caught because of. Circe never got a ~proper~ name in the original canon, so I dubbed her Cindy. The name "Cindy" can be boiled down to “person from Kynthos” and since Circe is Greek… Well, it fits well enough!

"[…]waltzing into the danger-zone without his wingman" - It’s Top Gun's “You can be my wingman anytime”, but with ALL the homoerotic implications!

"the Degnah Club" - The Degnah Club can be inferred to be one of Roman Sionis’ clubs, or just one his False-Face Society visited on occasion, but the event that happened there is implied to have taken place before the start of the story. “Degnah” when written backwards is “hanged”, referencing the Hanged Man card. When upright, this card means sacrifice and selfless acts. When reversed, as very much implied here, it’s an unnecessary sacrifice. This is both a play on what Roman’s implying – which is likely a very violent event – being an “unnecessary sacrifice” as part of Matt Chaney’s greater scheme for the Court of Owls, and as an allusion to Matt’s fate, where his morals/good choices/old law-abiding life were thrown away for an inevitably failed pursuit.

"[Tiffany | Robin's] personal count of 13" - The 13th card in the tarot is Death, bringer of change and ender of cycles. It’s also a traditionally unlucky number. This number is the “body-count” of Tiffany’s run through the Court so far. Does it reference the end of the Court's latest cycle, or something else…?

Accompanying the Tarot, as mentioned earlier I also tied in other fortune-telling methods, with the counting of crows and reference to the zodiacal horoscope. I also threw in allusions to luck, with The Lucky Hotel and The Lot (in both name and the fact that it's a casino). This is all tied entirely around the concept of fate and being able to change it with the choices you have made or currently make as "the player". Luck itself has nothing to do with your choices and the fates you guide Bruce and John to, and it's not something "the player" can control - it's an illusion, with things seemingly lucky for our heroes having already been written in on purpose to lead to the next event. It's essentially a long, drawn-out joke.

Talons/Reverend's Owl Masks - I wanted the Talons to be set apart from the rest of the Court and have special owl faces. The Court's owl masks are as follows:

○ Talon Adam - Great Horned Owl; chosen for the owl's large size and hunting ability, as well as the protruding "horn" feathers mimicking Batman's cowl. This is the most common owl used in media. The "horns" are meant to clue the reader into the culprit early on. Adam's a Batman-fan, so he mimicked Bats' style.

○ Talon Sonja - Snowy Owl; chosen for the owl's fairly elegant feather pattern and Sonja's ~colder~ personality. Sonja had a masquerade one to show her "humane" side to prospective Owls, but always wears a full-faced mask for the rest of the Court.

○ Talon Evan - Barn Owl; chosen for it's ghost-like face and screeching call, and it's hunting skills. They sometimes are seen as bad omens. While Adam was a mysterious stalker, Evan is overtly dangerous upon appearance, in no due part to his temper.

○ Reverend Sebastian Overfield - Eastern Screech Owl; this owl is smaller than the other, but has similar "horn" feathers to the Great Horned, and a gray face. The "horns" are meant to be another a mirror to Batman, but can be considered another allusion to The Devil. It isn't the largest or flashiest owl of the bunch, but Sebastian has the most power of all the Court members.

[The "Justice" bell-toll] - traditionally, a church bell tolls to signify someone passing into death. In the Court/Church of Mercy's case, they use a bell rung at midnight to signify a complete "trial" and a carry-out of their own brand of "justice"…which also culminates in death. The "trial" shown in this chapter is a rarity, as the offenders are actually present to get a talking-to before their sentencing - generally, the Church will hold a mock-trial to decide the fates of the perpetrators…after some previous counseling with Talons and select older members. (Think of the Trial like a ceremonial conference for the majority of the time.)

Chapter 12: Ten Cheers to the World!

[title] - The act of cheering, aka toasting, is to raise a cup and drink towards someone or something in celebration or tribute. Here, it's referring to the tarot's Ten (X) of Cups, which is pretty much the best card you could pull in a reading - when upright, as it is here, it means celebration, fulfillment, and happiness! The World card is the final card in the Major Arcana, encapsulating completion, accomplishment, and harmony, all from inner and outer sources. It might seem redundant at first, but the Cups suite in the Minor Arcana is all in regards to emotions, relationships, and love; in comparison, the Major Arcana represents a journey from innocence and ignorance to wisdom and completion. So you have an emotional celebration with fulfilling relationships, and the story's path marked as complete in both a literal and figurative sense.

"An accident at Ace Chemicals" [Iman & John's convo] - Referencing the majority of Joker origins, wherein pre-Joker fell into the vat of chemicals at Ace Chemicals and survived, leading to a psychotic breakdown due to his changed appearance and/or the circumstances around to what led him to Ace Chemicals in the first place.

"the string of deaths in the Velestra mafia" [Iman & John's convo] - a ref to the former mafia/main antagonists in Batman: Mask of the Phantom that kept getting killed off one by one by the Phantom. Whether The Phantom exists in this world…we'll have to wait and see, I guess!

"an unrecoverable ‘data loss’ at the Agency" [Iman & John's convo] - not a reference to canon, but my own theory on a potential background for John being a former Agent…(see further below)

"Et tu, Peeps?" - a riff on "Et tu, Brute?", Julius Ceasar's last words as he was betrayed and stabbed to death.

"Maybe I was someone in the wrong place at the wrong time" / "someone at the right place at the wrong time" [John monologue] - Another reference to the most popular background choice, the Ace Chemical origin story, and it’s variations. Though probably lacking Batsy’s involvement, considering the timeframe…

"Maybe I was some experiment gone wrong" [John monologue] - A reference to a different author's Season 3 replacement fanfic, where John ended up being a genetically modified human/test tube baby. Unfortunately the work got deleted from Ao3??? And my bookmark is gone, so I can't name the fic… But I still remember you, Unknown Author!!! It was a fun story and I've never forgotten that twist!!!! \( >o< )/

"Maybe I was even an Agent, like you" [John monologue] - My own little theory as to why the Agency was so keen on getting him for the Suicide Squad – and why he was considered a dangerous part of the gang despite not doing too much of interest in Season 1 (even if you consider the theory that he was helping Lady Arkham get her chemicals/drugs) – was that he was part of the Agency somehow. Either an agent who screwed up on the job, a rogue agent that escaped death via Agency trap…or maybe a guy who knew too much! But it's a fun, fresh idea to bring to Joker's multi-choice past, right? (( ;w;)) <(please say yes)

hippocampus - The region(s) of the brain that primarily deals with memory.

[the photo] - I wanted to leave it up to the reader/"player" to decide what kind of pre-Arkham past the TellTale!Joker has… So whether you think the picture Iman has is a "real" photo of him or not is entirely up to you.

"[…]'you're the moon to my sun'" [John, 'paraphrasing' Bruce] - In Tarot terms, this is a reference to the Sun card, representing joy, success, and masculinity, as well as another reference to the Moon card. One can also interpret the Sun card as "success in overcoming your obstacles or fears". As the Moon card can represent inner fears and femininity, it's a fitting opposite for interpreting this romantic line. While Bruce doesn't exactly embody the "positivity" and "joy" that this card represents, he brings that feeling into John's life, and Bruce is more traditionally masculine in contrast to John. This is also an overt use of the phrase "[they're] the moon to their sun" - a romantic notion that one person, though the opposite to the other, is completely complementary, like a One True Love. TeamFourStar's playthrough of TellTale Batman: The Enemy Within had not one, but TWO mentions of the "moon to [their] sun" line, the second of which was referring to John and Bruce. This one's for you, fellas!!! ( ^3^)

○ Funnily enough, The Moon is a very broadly interpreted card. Sometimes it's not a good card to have because deception, manipulation, illusion, and mystery/confusion are all potentially at work in your life. Sometimes it's an excellent card, because it tells you examine your feelings to resolve a problem, or tells you that you aren't seeing the whole picture. The reversed of the card is often attributed to avoidance of one's problems and further confusion, but also clarity, truth, and the full view of what's going on. If John is the embodiment of The Moon in the upright position, then I say Bruce is that of the Reversed Moon…

"[…] two lovers against the world" - Another classic romantic phrase that can be turned into a Tarot reference. The original phrase is meaning two romantic partners are pitted against "the world"/external forces that threaten to tear them apart, but they are committed to each other regardless. You can't really pit cards against each other in a reading, but you can read Past-Present-Future. In which case, in story terms, The Fool is always the Past, The Lovers is the Present here, and The World is the Future. As mentioned earlier, The World represents harmony and completion - if reversed, it would mean incompletion and chaos. The Lovers card is representing a strong union being forged between two people, very often romantic in terms of the Tarot. The meaning is usually attributed to decisions in a relationship being made (whether to start a new one, or to deepen the one you have), but it can also represent people outright, as well as an indication that a new partnership/relationship is on the way. When reversed, Lovers represents disharmony, imbalance, or a loss of relationship. In our story, of course, our two lovers are representing the upright reading of the card in the Present, showing as a strong couple. As it's "against", it implies that The World is something that will be a challenge, so it's likely Reversed. Which is a pretty good representation of Gotham in general, isn't it? lol~

○ The Lovers can also be seen symbolically in chapters 8 and 9, when Bruce and John are laying opposite each other and linking pinkies/holding hands at the hotel. :)

○ John uses the romantic line regardless of whether he's a vigilante or not! If you didn't get the Best Ending, aka our Sleepover Ending, Bruce would wind up back in the parlor with John as usual, and once the rest of the fam are gone (if they were there at all), he uses it to describe themselves. In the villain route, Bruce and John converse in the Batmobile on the way back to Arkham, and John uses the line there, too. ;3c

○ Naturally, you don't really get this complete scene if "your" Bruce is with Selina in the vigilante route.

Ending Type - …it's not a tarot reference or anything specific. I just wanted to let you know that you can ONLY get the Sleepover Ending if you have Tiffany and John in Bruce's party on good terms with each other AND with Bruce.

○ You can drive Tiffy away from Bruce by saying she shouldn't be with them at the Court Battle, but also by generally not believing in her/being mean and giving a neutral reaction to her staying during Battle; she won't go back to the cave with Bruce, so you don't get a chance to speak to her directly afterwards as either character. (John can still have his conversation with her via text, and they can still end on the same terms.)

○ If you don't have vigilante!John, there's no one else to help lift the things, so Tiffy's idea is never brought up.

○ John is always simping desperate for Bruce's attention, so even if you don't treat him as well in a platonic relationship, he'll still be there for this Ending type. ;_;

○ If you have a Romanced!Selina in your party, Selina will join you in both Court Battle and the Ending as seen in this story. It'll either cause her to take Iman's place (if she is not present) or to have extra spot suddenly appear above the rest of the group. Like Tiffy, she overheats and needs more space too cool off.

§ You can also talk to her as John, and sort of makeup/say your part of the team now. (But John will still be somewhat jealous of the attention she gets.)

§ John doesn't get the emotional hug with Bruce if Selina is around - especially since she doesn't temporarily leave with Tiffany and Iman - but the conversation is almost the same.

§ Naturally you can talk to her as Bruce, too. I don't think on her options too much, but they'll likely talk about change and what it means to have this "job" and internalizing too much of their emotions/themselves.

§ If you and Selina are only friends, Selina can join you in the Court Battle, but will text you instead of sticking around.

1:06 A.M & [Clock time on Belltower in Chapter 11] - Bruce's sense of time is off, which is why he's surprised it's after 1AM and not closer to 2AM. (Can't blame him, he was unconscious for a while and a whole bunch of stuff happened.) I figured if Bruce broke out of his kidnapping ropes at 10PM sharp, and drove all the way to the GCPD, that's about 20-30 minutes in his supercharged car, if not a little less, plus with 5 minutes to escape proper. If we think GCPD is sort of a halfway point to Old Gotham/The Coventry district, it's another 15 minutes to there. So he'd arrive at the Church of Mercy before 11PM, and wait John for around another 10-15 minutes, including with all the investigating inside. The "trial" scene probably took another 10 minutes until Batman crashed it, and fight scenes seem long because of all the action going on, but by the time Bruce and co' leave, it's not 12AM yet. The bell-tower in the Church of Mercy is actually off by about 20 minutes… And what do you know, card XX (20) of the tarot's Major Arcana is Judgement, alluding to karma at work! It can also be attributed to a life change. ;D

"11:43:20PM" - this wasn't deliberately meant to allude to anything. It took the batfam about 2 minutes from the last toll to leave the church. Bells' tolling speed is varying between clocks and towers, but you can estimate about 30-45 seconds for a full twelve. If it rang at 11:40 exactly, then…ugh, this is sounding like math homework.

Epilogue:

[Still a WIP, so will be updated after it's uploaded! Shouldn't have much, though! Saay, isn't there a Major Arcana card missing? (9v9) I wonder what that iiiiis~]

So that was [just about] all of them! I had a lot of fun weaving them throughout the story this time, especially with the story's themes! AtBoM didn't have as nearly as many, so they weren't really worth mentioning before.

I hope this was helpful to those of you who were interested in diving beneath the surface of BtTTS: TToJ~!

#ttoj #ttoj reference guide #telltale batman #batman the telltale series #tarot cards #I made it a goal to use all the Major Arcana!#fortune-telling #it took me a month to compile this whole guide #I had notes scattered between my Word doc and google doc #hopefully this wasn't too hard to read #even if no one got any of these i'm satisfied!#they were really fun to write!!#edit: corrected Eric's last name (my bad)

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captaincravatthecapricious · 4 years ago

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Thanks @painboyridesagain for the tag! This is apparently one of those share the first line from the 20 most recent of your fics, and if you don’t have 20, just do as many as you have? And then tag 10? People? I think? We will see how many I can think of when I reach the end, I suppose. Wish me luck!

I technically have more fics, but some of them I made into multi chapter fics, and I wanted to get my first fic in there so first chapter first lines only!

1. Things You Said Through Your Teeth- Prompt Fill - Contrary to popular belief, Martin has a backbone.

2. Things You Said When it was Over - Being unwound hurts.

3. It Was My Job To Protect You and I Failed- Prompt Fill - It's been too long since he slept.

4. Black Eye- Prompt Fill - Jon is nine years old.

5. Broken Ribs- Prompt Fill - The air of the airport is oppressive.

6. No Way To Get Help- Prompt Fill - The silence is deafening.

7. Crutches- Prompt Fill - Navigating the London underground on crutches had been trying to say the least.

8. Can't Get Up- Prompt Fill - The lingering fever left over from Jon’s (to Martin’s and Tim’s lack of information: mysterious and) hellish few days continued to do just that... linger.

9. Ill and Alone- Prompt Fill - Jon wakes up to Martin leaving before dawn.

10. You're Scaring Me- Prompt Fill - Alone.

11. Concussion- Prompt Fill - Jon doesn’t like the outdoors.

12. Collapse- Prompt Fill - Jon isn’t sure why he grabbed the book.

13. I Swear I'm Trying- Prompt Fill - He’s leaning heavily on Tim.

14. Painful Use of Powers- Prompt Fill - “It’s… been pretty strange.”

15. Can't Get Warm- Prompt Fill - Jon shivers under his hand as Martin traces the delicate bones protruding harshly from his narrow frame.

16. Reoccurring Nightmares- Prompt Fill - There is a knocking in his ears.

17. Shaky Hands- Prompt Fill - Jon's knuckles are white against the steering wheel of Daisy's car.

18. Overworked Prompt Fill - It’s evening.

19. I Guess One Must Care - Jon isn’t sure where he thought he’d wake up.

Well. Good to know I fancy the shortest first sentences in the world. Aside from the few that have the Longest sentences. This was fun! Thanks for the tag!

@celosiaa @taylortut @janekfan @spacestationdaedalus @haunted-by-catholic-guilt @jump-on-winds-back any anyone else who wants to! No pressure if you don’t!

#the magnus archives #meme #capt speaks #go and have a read if you like!

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inspired-by-the-music · 4 years ago

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For You: Stand By Me

Taglist: @jineunwootrash

If you would like to be added to the taglist of any of this blog’s works, please ask!

Recommended Reading: For You: 4 O’Clock; these works have separate, independent, but deeply interwoven timelines.

Chapter 3: The Girl Who Wouldn’t Let Go

Sehun’s POV

In pre-debut days, before we were even grouped together, Junmyeon was determined that trainees should bond, so he wrote these little schedules of nearby events and sent them out in group messages. Owing to his busy university schedule, Junmyeon rarely went anywhere with us himself. He was absent that night in the drive-in too.

Although I was sixteen, I wasn’t especially eager to drive, so I didn’t mind when Minseok claimed the driver’s seat. Because I respected Luhan too much to complain when he bounced into the passenger seat, I quietly squeezed into the backseat where— as the youngest— I was sandwiched between Chanyeol and Kyungsoo.

Objectively, it was unfair that I was forced into the smallest seat because of my age. I get that Kyungsoo was older, and that was why I didn’t demand to trade seats. Still, I think that it only would have been right for him to take the middle seat because he was the shortest. I wasn’t really one to argue against rules, traditions, and societal roles, though, so I just folded my hands in my lap and decided that if ever I were the oldest person in the room, I wouldn’t get a big head. I wouldn’t abuse my power. I would be fair.

My members like to joke that I’m disobedient and border on disrespectful, but that’s not true. To tell you the truth, spending my Friday night in the drive-in with Chanyeol talking loudly in my ear wasn’t my idea of a good time, so my presence alone testified to my respect for Junmyeon before he was even the leader.

I wasn’t trying to be rude or disrespectful when I pushed Chanyeol out of the car as soon as Minseok parked. My legs were just aching from being cramped in the back seat, so I was eager to stretch and climb into the bed of the truck, where I could massage the knots that formed in my muscles. My eyes instinctively rolled at Chanyeol’s dramatized howls of pain as he tripped over gravel; he shouldn’t have taken offense.

As I eased my back against the cool metal wall of the truck, stretching my legs before me, Minseok smiled. His smile was always timid in those days. His voice was so quiet that my ears had to strain to make out his words. “Sehun, do you want something from the concession stand?”

Groaning at the thought of standing, I asked, “Are you going to pay for me?”

Having recovered from his trip, Chanyeol laughed as he sat next to me. “What a cheapskate!”

I didn’t think anything about what I said until I heard Kyungsoo’s faint snort of a laugh while he pushed his glasses further up on the bridge of his nose. Look— I firmly believe that seniors should pay for all expenses, and I still abide by that rule whenever I’m a senior— but I didn’t really know Minseok well enough to expect anything from him. All we had in common was that we knew Junmyeon.

Tugging my wallet out of my pocket, I prepared to hand it over with the explanation that I was too tired to walk with him after the full week of training, but Minseok wouldn’t accept my money. “Of course I’ll pay for you!” He was almost too nice. Sometimes, I don’t trust people like that, or I worry that someone will take advantage of them, but I was never worried about Minseok. “Just tell me what you want.”

I fit my wallet back into my pocket and shrugged. “I’m not picky.” Chanyeol laughed again— roaring right in my ear— and I cut my eyes at him. We were always friends, I guess, but we were very different people, and that’s why he was always on my nerves. “Just get me something sweet, please.”

Minseok nodded and, after listening to requests from Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, he took off with Luhan toward the concession stand.

Although too many hours had passed since the sunset for it to be bright enough to read, Kyungsoo held a book up to his face. He always liked to look smart, even when nobody was paying attention to him. Dropping the book to glance at me over the pages, he remarked, “You don’t seem like you would have a sweet tooth.

I blinked at him, never really caring much for people who speak in metaphors. A part of me wanted to tell him to speak plainly, but he probably wouldn’t have humored me anyway, so I bit my tongue. Besides, it didn’t matter what he meant.

Kyungsoo blinked back at me. It was obvious that he was sizing me up. That didn’t bother me so much; I just didn’t know what he thought he could discover about my character from my vague snack preferences. It’s foolish for people to attach meanings to insignificant things, but that’s something people do best.

I probably wouldn’t have responded to Kyungsoo even if Chanyeol hadn’t interrupted my thoughts to ask, “So, what movie are they playing?”

It wasn’t such a bad question. Because I only went to please Junmyeon, I didn’t know any specifics. Noticing that Chanyeol and I were looking to him, Kyungsoo answered, “Beauty and the Beast,” with a smile. He liked getting to share his knowledge.

“Like, the Disney movie?” I asked.

Kyungsoo nodded sagely, and Chanyeol lowered his head, whining, “I didn’t realize we were here to watch a little girl movie!” He was a little too obsessed with being macho those days. If you ask me, a hyperfixation on manliness is pretty lame.

Kyungsoo glared at Chanyeol. “Animation is not exclusively for children.”

“Dude.” Chanyeol returned his glare— sharpened it. “It’s a princess movie! It’s marketed to little girls!”

“Don’t you think you’re being narrow-minded?” Kyungsoo phrased his criticism as a question, maybe, because Chanyeol was technically his senior. “Beauty and the Beast explores significant themes about sacrifice, superficiality, the nature of love—”

Regretting that I hadn’t pushed through my fatigue to walk with Minseok and Luhan, I tore my eyes away from Kyungsoo and tried to will myself deaf to his monologue as I tinkered with our portable speaker. Upon finding the station broadcasting the audio accompanying the images projected on the towering screen at the front to the lot, I frowned at an obvious problem.

I interrupted the debate to announce, “This is in English.” Even when I squinted, trying to distinguish the finer details on the screen, there were no captions to be found. When nobody responded, I added, “I don’t understand English.”

Chanyeol nudged my ribs and joked, “Does anybody?”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. “Just appreciate the art of animation, Sehun.”

I huffed at Kyungsoo’s pretentious attitude, “How am I supposed to appreciate something I don’t understand?”

“Well—” Kyungsoo’s eyebrows knit together, and I knew that he was considering my words too deeply again— “you’ve seen the movie before, right?”

Before I could respond flatly that (obviously) I had, Minseok returned, carrying armfuls of snacks that he dropped in the center of the truck bed along with the bright announcement, “Look who I found!”

I don’t know who I expected to find when I glanced over at him, but judging from the drop of my jaw, I hadn’t expected to find Lei clinging onto Luhan’s arm. I hadn’t expected to see her beaming up at him as if he hung the moon.

When Luhan gestured for her to climb into the truck before him, she gasped, “Where did Heechul go? One second, he was standing next to me, and the next—” Her head turned from side to side as if she couldn’t imagine how she wound up at our truck.

As stupid and irresponsible as it was, I could have forgiven her for losing Heechul in her starry-eyed pursuit of Luhan. After all, she was just a kid. But I couldn’t forgive Heechul for losing her. Who knows what could have happened if Minseok and Luhan hadn’t been there to lead her through the dark? All I knew was that after that night, I wouldn’t be able to look at Heechul without confronting the urge to roll my eyes at his carelessness.

While Chanyeol, who never liked Lei for whatever stupid reason, stiffened at my side, Kyungsoo dropped his book to wave at her. “Hey, Lei!”

My eyebrows twitched. How did Kyungsoo know her? Glancing from Kyungsoo’s joyful wave to Chanyeol’s scowl to Minseok’s small grin to Luhan’s dimpled smile, I realized that Lei wasn’t a stranger to anybody. Except for Chanyeol, she had managed to charm everyone into being her friend despite the age difference.

It would have been weird to be jealous or possessive of a kid’s attention— even Lei’s— but there was something weird about recognizing that I wasn’t the only trainee she knew well enough to greet outside of the agency. It shouldn’t have been such an epiphany. I knew I wasn’t the center of the universe or anything. I knew that before we ever met, she was well acquainted with real idols. She was loved by real idols.

She just always had this way of looking at me that made me feel— I don’t know. I don’t like talking about this kind of thing. I guess that moment was humbling. I guess Lei continued to humble me when she settled into the space next to me only to excitedly chatter to Luhan in rapid-fire Mandarin. Despite my basic understanding of the language, I couldn’t quite keep up with what they said between giggles.

I guess I had always known that Lei wouldn’t cling to her crush on me forever. I guess I knew that I had been hoping for that day to come quickly, but now that I thought it had arrived, I felt weird. It wasn’t that I wanted her to like me or anything. I guess the issue was that if she had outgrown me, time really was passing, and it had done so without my permission. Nobody is ever that comfortable with time.

When Lei and Luhan fell silent just long enough to glance at me before laughing again, it was obvious that they were talking about me. The tips of my ears probably burned.

“Yeah,” I understood Luhan as he nodded at Lei, “he is pretty handsome.”

Oh. So that’s still what she thought of me. Weirdly, I was relieved. Some things would probably never change. Maybe Lei would always think I was handsome. Maybe no matter how many times I told her not to flirt, she would do what she wanted. Maybe people should learn to find comfort in constants.

Probably because she seemed so happy, chewing through a chocolate bar as she talked to Luhan, probably because I was kind of (just a little) flattered, I swallowed the fading urge to lecture her. I instead listened to Chanyeol growl, “Look, Minseok, I don’t care where you found her. I just know that she can’t stay here.”

Although Chanyeol hadn’t said her name, Lei was sensitive to his criticism. Drawing her knees up to her chest, she said in a small voice, “I should probably go. My mom is probably worried about me.”

Kyungsoo was only trying to be helpful when he offered, “We’ll help you find your parents.” He wasn’t trying to knock all the air out of Lei’s chest.

She ceased her efforts to climb down the side of the truck, collapsed at my side, and wheezed. I had seen Lei upset before, but never in my life had I seen somebody look so wounded by mere words— words that weren’t even harsh. Blinking at her, I understood: Lei didn’t have parents.

We never talked about her family. I would never know how to approach that topic— and I didn’t know yet that her mom was the idol who never debuted. I could just tell from her labored breathing that she didn’t have a father. That’s why she followed her mom everywhere. That’s why she sat alone at that table by the vending machine every day. That’s why she claimed Super Junior as her family, and that’s why they protected her: they were filling a void.

Had I believed that an embrace could mend that kind of deep wound, I would have wasted no time in slinging an arm around her shoulders to brace her against everyone’s stares. I didn’t believe that, though, even if I wanted to, so I just laid my arm over the edge of the car, cutting my eyes at Chanyeol (because he was on my nerves, and we were only in this situation because he couldn’t be nice to Lei for five seconds) and Kyungsoo (because, despite his good intentions, he prodded at Lei’s wound and made it impossible for me to ever overlook the scar again).

I said, “I don’t think we should rush to return Lei to whoever abandoned her at the concession stand.” I think I was angry. My hands were balled into fists, and my jaw was so tense that my words were almost unintelligible. I’m not sure, though; I’m not that experienced with anger.

Even before her breathing hitched at the word ‘abandoned,’ I should have known that I said the wrong thing. I wasn’t trying to make matters worse. I didn’t know what to say. I could only grimace at my mistake after the fact— after I couldn’t snatch the words back out of the air.

Luhan playfully tugged on one of Lei’s twin braids and, after earning the faintest grin, he said, “I think we should keep Lei! At least until the movie ends.”

Well. If you put me at that awkward stage— no, even me on my best night— next to Luhan, I guess it’s clear who any kid (or maybe any girl at any age) would prefer. We weren’t even in competition, and I felt like Luhan was winning. How stupid.

Nodding enthusiastically, Minseok agreed with Luhan, Chanyeol groaned, and Kyungsoo insisted (despite the fact that the entire drive-in was a dead zone) that we should call Lei’s parents, but Lei didn’t respond to any of them. She didn’t even seem to hear them. She only looked at me with big eyes.

Did she want me to tell her what to do? I guess that was something I did often enough without being asked, but— for the first time in a while— I didn’t know what to say.

Unsure of what to do with the authority she always entrusted to me, I cast my eyes toward the screen and fidgeted with the speaker. “Hey, Lei.” I didn’t glance at her, but I could still feel her eyes watching me. I know she wasn’t looking for fault. I know that she was just admiring me the way only a kid can. Still, I squirmed. “Can you translate this movie for me?”

Once I looked at her, and she understood that I was encouraging her to stay— resolving within myself to help her find her mom and Heechul once the street lights turned on at the end of the movie— she smiled. Her gap was now replaced by the metallic glint of braces. I guess I was just glad that she could breathe again.

Lei had just started to nod her head when a shriek broke through the quiet night. “Why don’t you shut the hell up? If you’re so invested in how this fairytale ends, I’ll tell you— the girl falls in love with the beast! He falls in love with her! And it’s beautiful! Now, get out of my way! I’m looking for my kid!”

In the moments before I realized that the shriek belonged to her mom, while the guys and I spun our heads in search of the conflict, I clutched Lei’s arm and pulled her behind me so I could shield her. In the event of a real emergency, I don’t know how effective my body would have been as a shield, but I wasn’t really thinking too deeply. At some moments in life, you act purely on instinct. That was one of those moments. My instinct was to protect Lei from the screaming woman.

In hindsight, even now that I know that there was no real threat to our safety, I am proud of my instincts.

Heechul’s voice preceded him. “Kimberly, you have to calm down.”

Recognizing Heechul’s voice, I figured that Kimberly must have been Lei’s mom’s name. My forehead wrinkled as I tried to fit the name with her face. It was weird, I guess, because I had never heard it before, just like I had never heard her yell.

“Calm down?” She laughed one of those hollow laughs. The scary kind. “You leave my child all alone at the concession stand, and you have the nerve to tell me to calm down?”

Heechul must have been stupid to argue with a panicked mother. “I told you, she wasn’t alone! She was with two handsome young men—” Minseok and Luhan, I assumed— “and from how she lit up while talking to them, I assumed that they were friends!”

“So you just left her there?”

“I didn’t mean to!” I don’t know how Lei’s mom resisted the urge to punch Heechul’s face that must have coursed through both of us with comparable intensity. “Besides,” he added, “Lei is, like, a black belt in taekwondo, so if she was in trouble—”

“She is a little girl!” Lei’s mom screamed to drill the rather obvious reminder into Heechul’s thick skull. Some kind of desperation ripped through her voice and caused Lei to tense under my grip.

Something about the frown I found on Lei’s face when I glanced back at her and the fear in her mom’s voice spurred me to action. “Come on, Lei.” I ushered her out of the bed of the truck, offering both of my hands so she wouldn’t trip. “Let’s go find your mom.”

Her small, cold hands trembled in mine, and as I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong, it dawned on me: she was afraid of the dark. She tripped once or twice because her eyes were fixed up on the sky, probably searching for the moon and stars.

Once we found her mom and Heechul after a few minutes that felt like eternities because of the silence and her palpable fear, I thought they would never stop thanking me for being, as Heechul said, a knight in shining armor.

“You’re welcome,” was the only thing to say. I guess I meant it because something like pride spread through my chest and pulled my lips into a smile even though it was dark and nobody could see it.

When I released her hand, Lei mumbled, “Well, I guess you’re leaving now, right?” Although I couldn’t quite make out the features on her face, I imagined from her tone that she must have been pouting. Without even waiting for my reply, she said, “Goodnight, Sehun. Thank you for helping me find Mom and Heechul.”

Mostly because I wanted Lei to be happy— and I realized that somehow, just by being around, I made her happy— I raised an eyebrow at her. “What are you talking about? I told you— I need a translator, and nobody back in that truck knows English. Where you go, I go.”

Hearing my excuse for tagging along, neither her mom nor Heechul objected. Breathing another sigh of relief because Lei was safe and sound, they led us back to their car. As Heechul finally started to apologize for losing Lei in the first place, nobody noticed that Lei was bold enough to reach for my hand again with the whispered excuse, “I don’t want to get lost again, Sehun.”

I gave her a stern stare— the one I tried to reserve for the lectures about acting appropriately around boys— and I know she must have felt it. I know she must have been able to see it even in the darkness when she looked up at me, but she wouldn’t let me go.

I guess because I started it by holding her hand first, I guess because I didn’t want her to get lost again either, I guess because I wanted to be some comfort even if I couldn’t cure her fear of the dark, I guess because I didn’t want to risk driving the smile from her face, I just let her do what she wanted that one time.

That one time would become two times and then three and then a hundred and then a thousand and then a million until I didn’t know how to tell her no anymore, until I didn’t want to tell her no anymore, until I didn’t know what to do when she wasn’t bold anymore, until I didn’t quite know what to feel when she didn’t look at me first anymore. When I walked with her through the night that was too dark to find any stars or even the moon, I swear I never imagined that she would grow into somebody that I love in the heart-fluttering, gut-wrenching, world-changing kind of way.

Then, Lei was just a kid who deserved a protector, and I was just one of many who tried to overfill the place of a father who never should have left her.

As I walked with her, deciding what I would say to Chanyeol when he would inevitably curse me for ditching him (again) for Lei, I told myself that I wouldn’t have been able to find my way back to the truck anyway. And it wasn’t a lie, I swore as Lei’s translation of the movie— complete with unique voices for each character— captivated everyone in her mother’s car.

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jadedjo · 5 years ago

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2019 End of Year Fic Review

I am happy to say that I achieved 3 of my goals from last year. Compete Return to Endor and Crossing A Line and find a beta/alpha/cheerleader: The Fic Whining Circle helped me achieve all of this! I LOVE you guys!

But despite having written more last year than this year I take this year as a more creative journey. With the support and encouragement of people I look up to, I was able to broaden my horizons and stretch my creativity. But this also had its drawbacks. Namely, in the form of the White Rabbit (plot bunnies multiply when other creatives pass theirs on to you unintentionally)

2 White Rabbits that I chased this year were Apocalypse Yavin and the WIP Admiral Luke Au. They were not my ideas. They started as discussions from others that I ran with (with permission). So new goals for 2020 are to leave plot bunnies alone. I have more than enough projects that I do want to finish.

If any come across my path, I shall appreciate them but shall not fall down the rabbit hole. There was a post that came across my dash that said something along the lines of, you need to start x projects to find the 1 that will get done. So, if I need to drabble something to get it out of my head so be it but not let it balloon into the 50k or more that the Admiral Luke Au is turning into.

If anyone sees me chasing the White Rabbit be sure to pull me out of the Matrix STAT.

Goals for 2020:

I’m not sure what I want to accomplish next year. I have WIPs that I need to decide if I’m going to continue or let go of. Many of them I like and would like to finish someday, but they also pressure me with their very presence.

Right now, the Admiral Luke AU is first and foremost in my mind. The basics came out of a what-if discussion about what-if Luke never left military service. While he was a General in Shadows of Mindor we all agreed that a man in Admiral Whites was HAWT so he was switched from General to Admiral Skywalker. Then Mara was added to the mix. Luke would dislike her fringe neutrality and she would think him just another stuck up military leader who was given a position based on his name only. The premise was so she and Luke could have angry sex in his office.

That idea quickly morphed into an elaborate back story with both nu!canon and Legends mixed together to explain the current state of affairs and a re-write of The Thrawn Trilogy to include Hera Syndula, Ezra Bridger, Ahsoka Tano, Thrawn from both TTT and nu!canon, and why Luke is still in the military. But I think I overwhelmed myself with the scope and now have to take this is small chunks so as not to hide in terror of the massive fic it wants to be.

As for the WIPs ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We’ll see.

Some interesting stats for this year:

1. favorite fic you wrote this year

Apocalypse Yavin

2. least favorite fic you wrote this year

Drabble: Corellian Checkers (nothing wrong with it, but of my mini fics I like it the least)

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

From Twilight: Time stopped and in the instant between day and night their lips met.

4. total number of words you wrote this year

For Posted Fics its 35,937

For WIPs its 28,574

Total: 64,511 (last year’s total was 79,028, but I admit I had a 20k sprint last year.)

5. most popular fic this year

I Get Off (ya’ll love that PWP)

6. least popular fic this year

Return To Endor

This was a self-indulgent fic for long-forgotten made for TV Star Wars films. I’m not surprised this is the least popular fic

7. longest completed fic you wrote this year

Apocalypse Yavin (12792)

8. shortest completed fic you wrote this year

Spin The Bottle (376)

9. favorite character to write about this year

I was going to say Luke Skywalker or Mara Jade but… Cindel was a surprise and interesting to write about so I shall name Cindel Towani as my favorite this year.

10. favorite writing song/artist/album of this year

According to Spotify, it was Blade Runner 2049. Its mellow and easy to have as background music that will drown out other noises without making me want to actively listen to it.

11. a fic you didn’t expect to write

I Get Off

12. fic(s) you completed this year

In reverse posting order:

Apocalypse Yavin Reeling from the revelations that Vader is his father, needing to get used to a malfunctioning new right hand, and having to save his friend from carbonite, Luke is sent on a quest to find a kyber crystal for a new lightsaber. Unfortunately for him, Yavin IV is where he can find one. The moon is now a hellscape from the death throes of the Death Star and he has the eerie feeling that something in the Force is there, in pain, crying out for release.

Return Luke returns to Tatooine. But what kind of welcome will he find there? Owen Lives AU Flash Fic Crossing A Line (Getting To Know You Series) With a new Force bond firmly in place, Luke and Mara must now navigate this unexpected turn in their relationship. How do you go from friends to lovers because the Force wills it? Post-Nirauan story.

Not Just Another Day (Flash Fic) Luke gives Mara a gift on his birthday.

Comfort (drabble) Han finds Jaina at the end of the Vong War. Prompts: “War’s End” kiss & “You’re strong, baby. You have to be.” Reveal (drabble) Luke returns home to find Mara in an unusual situation. Prompts: “I do” kiss & “Frost the damn cupcakes.”

Spin The Bottle (drabble) Prompt: Spin the bottle & "Come over here and make me"

Corellian Checkers (drabble) Han hears Leia say something to Wedge Antilles he'd never thought she'd ever say to anyone.Prompts: “We’re playing checkers. If you don’t like it, leave.” & A Hoarse Whisper “Kiss Me”

Twilight (drabble) When Luke and Mara are forced to trek through the wilderness once again they find more than just pretty scenery.Prompts: Staring At The Other’s Lips, Trying Not To Kiss Them, Before Giving In & “You can scream if you want.”

Return To Endor Cindel Towani is alone in the galaxy. She returns to the one place where she felt at home. The forest moon of Endor. She just prays that the one person she most wants to see is still there.

I Get Off “He could have called you ‘Master.’ Like I do sometimes.” Mara's voice was a smoky purr in his ear. Her arms slipped around Luke’s waist from behind. Luke smiled. “I don’t think it would be the same as when you do it.” “It better not be … Skywalker.” Luke jumped as one of her hands gave his stomach a slap. — Destiny’s Way, Chapter 3. by Walter Jon WilliamsJust how does Mara call Luke 'Master'? In the sexiest way possible.

4 Times Mara Noticed Luke's Feet and 1 Time Luke Noticed Mara's Mara never thought of herself as finding feet attractive. Until she spotted the toes of one Luke Skywalker. ~~~ Luke never paid much attention to Mara's feet. But they'd never been encased in shiny black leather before.

Written for the fetish/Trope roulette

13. fics you’ll continue next year

I assume this means fics posted but not completed this year. Since its technically 0 I’ll say: The next installment of the Getting To Know You Series

14. current number of wips

7 which is too many. I’ll be paring down this year and trying to keep the white rabbit in check.

15. number of comments you haven’t read

ZERO. I LIVE for comments.

16. most memorable comment/review

Anything from the Fic Whining Circle!

17. events you participated in this year

Fetish/Trope Roulette which resulted in 4 Times Mara Noticed Luke's Feet and 1 Time Luke Noticed Mara's and its spin-off I Get Off

18. fics you wanted to write but didn’t

This years Halloween fic was supposed to be a Cyberpunk Halloween fic featuring Shirlee Faughn, Mara Jade, and my OC Starry Ice crew. I never finalized the plot so it got pushed to 2020 in favor of Apocalypse Yavin.

#year in review #jade writes #2019 fan fiction

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firstdove15 · 5 years ago

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2019 Fic Roundup

I actually wrote enough this year to answer most of these questions. 😂 If you haven’t done this yourself, feel free to join in the fun! ❤️💕

Stats

Total words written: 18,030

Shortest story: The Death of a Montague (832)

Longest story: Akane One-Half (ongoing) (14k+ in general; roughly 11k this year, FFN)

Fics Posted (Gen)

Akane One-Half: More like updating because I’ve been writing on and off for two years but I did add three chapters this year.

Through the Forest: It’s technically gen because Pidge and Lance don’t have romantic feelings for each other (yet). It was completely inspired by @krissychan2 ’s art of them as nymph and fairy respectively.

Fics Posted (Plance)

Love from the Future - Inspired by a prompt generator that said to write about a person who gets a typewriter and finds a love letter from the future and they attempt to find that person. I didn’t follow the prompt to the T but I had fun with it. And getting encouragement from @rueitae during the letter part meant a lot because I was worried about it staying in-character and whether or not it was going to be too fluffy. X3

Chocolat - Self-indulgent oneshot inspired by a little college get together. XD It was actually originally going to be part of a multichapter story (that I thoroughly outlined from beginning to end, no less!) but it just didn’t work out. OTL

Fics Posted (Rosvolio)

The Death of a Montague - The prompt was to write a fic based on a song for Rosvolio and I knew right away I wanted to do it to Brendon Urie’s Death of a Bachelor. Plus I’m a sucker for guys taking on the wives’ last name. XD

Specifics

Best Title: The Death of a Montague. Only because of Brendon Urie though since his title was genius to describe a man happily getting married. Same thing here on top of Benvolio cutting off the last remaining ties to his abusive uncle.

Worst Title: Probably Through the Forest. I could’ve picked a better title to reflect the game Lance was playing on Pidge or his motives, but *shrugs*.

Favorite opening lines:

“I caught you, you sneaky little bastard!”

The fairy in her hands didn’t even try to struggle from her grasp. Instead he licked the remaining berry juice off the corner of his lips and grinned at her. “So you have, little nymph.”

I was fresh off of writing for Akane One-Half so, yeah, that’s why you’re seeing swearing from me here. XP

Favorite closing lines:

The card included two ticket stubs for the Killbot Phastasm movie that long faded. He wondered if Lance knew she kept it all these years.

He put the card down and got to work. He’d let him find it. It would be another opportunity for her to talk about her feelings with current Lance rather than past Lance.

He smiled at the thought.

Tonight would be a good night.

Endings aren’t my strong suits but I did like tying up the stable time loop. XD

General Questions:

- Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

Given my personality, just about what I predicted. I wish I had done more though. Oh well, that’s what 2020 is going to be for. XD

- What pairing/genre/fandom did you write most?

Plance/fluff/Voltron respectively. Especially fluff because The Death of a Montague was fluffy and Akane One-Half had some fluff toward the end of the last chapter I posted on FFN.

- What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?

Rosvolio/Still Star-Crossed for sure! I wish I hadn’t taken so long with the soulmate AU but I’m still in the middle of writing it so it’ll be for this year. XD

- Did you take any writing risks this year?

Other than trying to get familiar with Pidge and Lance’s personality? Not really. 😅 I almost did with one of the oneshots in mind to take place after Through the Forest (I actually had a rough draft of it), but I was worried one of them would be too dark. I mean, I’ve written dark stuff before, but someone probably would’ve been like, “What the heck, Faye?!” and I wouldn’t have blamed them one bit. XDD

- Do you have any fanfic or general writing goals for the new year?

Well, I saved up and got a new laptop so I’m just hoping I’ll be more productive this year writing wise.

- What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest?

Hoo, boy. Tie between Through the Forest and Love from the Future. The former because I was happy to write something coherent inspired by a beautiful piece of art and the latter because fluff. ❤️💕

- Okay, NOW your most popular story.

Definitely Love from the Future and I’m okay with that. XD

- Story most underappreciated by the universe:

Haha, Chocolat. Which I am also okay with because 1) It was literally just posted and 2) It was super self-indulgent. XP

- Story that could’ve been better:

The Death of a Montague. Most of my energy went into the sonnet (it took me HOURS to compose that sonnet alone 😂) so I felt like I didn’t put as much heart into the rest of the story. T_T. But a good amount of people enjoyed it and I appreciated that.

- Story with the sexiest scene:

HAHAHAHA! I JUST CAN WRITE A CHASTE KISS SCENE.

- Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:

N/A. Again, if I had gone with that oneshot as a sequel to Through the Forest, that would have been a different story. To be fair, it was going to follow the aftermath of the Thing™ rather than during, but still….

- Saddest story?

Eh, none of them really? I mean Through the Forest has super light angst but only toward the end. Pidge clearly missing her brother and the story alluding to Lance having lost someone permanently. The second other sequel would have been part fluffy part angsty but… there is a reason I haven’t gone through with them for editing/posting…

- Most fun?

Let me shake it up and say Akane One-Half. XD Everything is still a puzzle and I think I’m getting the gist of how most events will go.

- Story with single sweetest moment?

Chip and his scenes with Lance and Pidge, I think in Love from the Future. ❤️💕

- Hardest story to write?

I mean, I had challenges with the parts that were supposed to be the meat of the story (e.g. the love letter and the sonnet) but outside of that I could recognize when something needed to be cut or expanded on and I’m happy for that.

- Easiest/Most fun story to write?

Chocolat. XD Got to include Hunk being a troll and not being afraid of Pidge’s wrath because he’s currently overseas. He has to come back to America sometime. 😂

- Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

That’s part of the point of me writing Akane One-Half. Wanted to see if changing the situation would change their characters and I’m having fun figuring it out. Waiting for someone to complain about certain characterization later down the road but…*shrugs*

- Most overdue story?

Complete wise: The Death of a Montague

WIP wise: The Rosvolio soulmate AU. I got a bit ambitious on how the whole soulmate thing works in that AU and I’m working on it not being so info dumpy. 😅

- What are your fic writing goals for next year?

1) Finish the Rosvolio soulmate AU fic

2) Update Akane One-Half faster (Like I legit have two arcs written in first drafts and detailed notes for the two arcs after that. I have no excuse 😂).

3) Write that Plance Vampire/Fledgling-esque AU. I will figure something out, dangit.

4) MAYBE write a long ATLA oneshot based on that Probending AU an artist made for Katara, Toph, and Azula with Suki as their coach. It wouldn’t take me long to find the artist and give credit if I do go this route. Just thought it’d be fun to explore Azula’s character based on what Aaron Ehaz had in mind.

5) (super tentative) Write that oneshot idea I had for Dororo. I miss my babies. 😭

Welp, that was fun! Saw @rueitae ’s post and wanted to give it a shot if I published four things and updated one this year. 👍 Hope you guys have fun with this is you decide to do it!

#long post #personal #sorry for this; i'm so used to being on my phone that i did this whole thing on mobile 😅#edit: added read more on the laptop

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edmondson5df-blog · 5 years ago

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A zigzag-like movement of any forex pair at the Forex market

composed of diverse combinations of such tendencies. A smaller fashion makes an integral factor of a bigger trend (either the fashion wave, or, at the opposite, the retracement (correction) of a longer fashion toward the contrary route).

What any trader wants to know approximately the Forex market.

An character is interested by knowing the correlation at the least among the first (and shortest) tendencies at the beginning of the alternate however no longer at the give up of it. That is, one wants to research the clear and easy policies, in accordance which it'd be feasible to frequently open offers quietly and paintings inside the intra-consultation fashion with confidence. In addition, one is inquisitive about information of the correlation at the least among the intra-consultation and weekly tendencies.

Our intention is to benefit however now not to lose. Data Analytics in the USA One ought to keep cool. It is of little need to spend your nerves and health. Even if the currency has moved in "the wrong path" via 15 points, it will return in a moment. Anyway, the most effective route in which the currency can pass is that toward that you have opened the deal. The trouble is simply of being too overdue for entering the deal. As regards the given state of affairs, the recommendations are the subsequent:

a). If there are no symptoms of reversal in the forex pair movement, you have to open the deal yet again after the draw back (rollback).

B). If there are symptoms of the reversal (the preceding motion turned into the fake breakout), in the beginning you must open one deal closer to the contrary path. You get into the lock, wherein the quantity of damages, being fixed (stipulated), does not increase (in Masterforex Training Academy you may get a special route of training to the approach of making the lock). Further, you add offers towards the path of the currency pair motion in the given consultation. First of all, you compensate your damages and then you gain income. Under the condition of false breakouts of the stages of resistance/aid, the margin of the foreign money pair motion is continually larger than within the case of the level true breakout. That is, the trader can benefit higher income.

What a dealer who follows (sticks to) these policies must see:

a). Faultless ranges of resistance and aid with appreciate to each of ally forex pairs. (very often they are not those stated in web sites with the aid of "respectable" analysts (however no longer traders));

b). clear criteria of the actual and fake breakout of these stages and the intra-session trend starting;

c). The synchronous (or non synchronous) person of the ally foreign money pair organization movement;

d). The time, speed and type (manner) of the foreign money pair motion;

e). the following level (the intermediate goal), to which the forex pair is tending;

f). The reserve (margin) of the foreign money pair movement for the trading session;

g). The point of the intra-consultation fashion quit (surely, one have to know the clear standards of the motion finish; when such symptoms appear, one should repair (register) one's earnings);

h). The factor that confirms the start of the intra-session fashion retracement; at this point one can also paintings with the correction towards the trend on the super- short distances - in particular, you may make the lock narrower when you have got into this lock on the trading consultation starting.

According to B. Williams, it is the 5th highest diploma of the dealer's qualification. Reaching this stage, the trader isn't nervous however he feels pleasure at his paintings

The motives why the majority of buyers by no means attain this 5th highest diploma of buying and selling

The motive is composed in the classical the Forex market dogmas, according to which the technical evaluation begins at the least from day by day charts.

In his "The Technical Analysis as a New Science", T. DeMark writes the following.

1. The each day facts is the most accessible; for dozens of years analysts work particularly with daily charts.

2. Making use of day by day charts, a dealer ought to now not continuously hold an eye available on the market intra-day behavior. The trader runs less risks of being trapped because of charge corrections. Not in any respect rare in the intra-day database, such corrections make the real pest of it.

3. There is the possibility of creating a deal at a rate, closest to the fee stipulated in the order. This opportunity increases if the trader makes use of the market signals, based totally at the intra-day facts.

Here I could like to say J. Swagger's rule #forty four from his book "The Technical Analysis. Complete Course". The creator claims that intra-day solutions are almost continually wrong. He does not advise to be engaged within the intra-day change.

Below I put up other rules developed by using this "classicist of the technical analysis".

7. Looking on the chart, you have to follow your instinctive impression - especially if you do now not mind to what type of the marketplace this chart relates.

Comment. What approximately the subject and following the strict guidelines?

8. The fact that you have missed a big a part of the new trend must no longer hold you far from buying and selling inside this fashion - as long as you may stumble on the reasonable point of the damage arrest.

Comments. How should one apprehend this statement? Seemingly, the author admits uselessness (non operability) of his TRADING SYSTEM.

A) How to detect the reversal factor no longer simplest inside the buying and selling day but in longer tendencies as well?

B) What does the notion "the reasonable factor of the damage arrest" implies?

C) What are the standards of the trend change?

D) About what sort of trend does one talk - the long-term, intermediate-term or the short-time period ones? (We have dwelt at the distinction between such developments in the previous chapter).

E) Even a dealer-newbie can supply a dozen of examples of a scenario like this. The prevent-loss ("the reasonable point of the damage arrest") changed into placed at a peak of the quick-time period fashion. Then the currency once more rushed alongside the intermediate-time period fashion.

14. The newly-formed price models (or the market behavior) can tend closer to the path opposite to your position. In this case, you need to at once go out of any deal - even if stop points are not reached yet. You should ask yourself: "If I want a position at this market, what its path must be?" If the answer does not coincide with the path of the actual role which you hold, you have to close it. Actually, if values of the opposite indices are rather sizable, you reverse the position.

Comments. How to combine (reconcile) this thesis with the words "do no longer be engaged within the intra-day trading"?

21. Let us suppose that you can't watch the marketplace in the course of a time interval (perhaps you are traveling). Under those conditions, there are outlets. First, you can liquidate all positions. Otherwise, you ought to make certain that active stop-orders are located in all open positions.

No feedback. If one can earn money no longer looking the marketplace, what income can benefit the ones folks who sit down in front in their monitors for the duration of the buying and selling?

31. Do now not restore a small quick income gained on the offers the path of which coincides with that of the primary developments. In particular, in case you are absolutely confident inside the deal, you should no longer repair the earnings inside the first day.

Comment. How to discover the primary trend? Which fashion is principal (even within the framework of the vintage classification (the long-time period, intermediate-term and short-time period trends))? And what is set the stop-loss? If the deal is open in the direction of the "essential" fashion direction, whereas the retracement (correction) starts offevolved developing within the opposite path.

45. It is obligatory to test markets before the ultimate on Friday. Often the state of affairs becomes clearer at the cease of the week. The nice price of coming into the deal and going out of it is obtainable on Friday. At the stock alternate beginning on the subsequent Monday the price is worse. In particular, this rule is crucial when you maintain a massive function.

Comment. In reality, J. Swagger admits the lifestyles of a weekly fashion.

We now entice the reader's interest to B. Babcock's viewpoint ( see "How to exchange tendencies"). This author states that for the successful alternate it slow scale for measuring the fashion ought to be now not shorter than 4 weeks. Therefore, you must input the deal toward the rate movement path, which stays unaltered in the course of four weeks and longer. There is a great instance of the method based on traits. One have to purchase whilst the charge of "near" is higher than 25 days earlier than. One have to promote while the rate of "close" is decrease than 25 days before. When you figure in this type of lengthy trend, you honestly observe the marketplace, no longer trying to predict it.

Comments. Thus, it is encouraged to wait during 25 days, and then positioned the order on the 26th day. However, toward what path it must be executed? You observe the day by day charts. For the convenience of calculating various foreign money pairs, one candle corresponds to at least one day. You can estimate the good judgment of the famous writer's reasoning by means of yourself.

Chart 12.1. USD/JPY pair motion all through 4 hours. (For view image see notes in give up of article)

The descending fashion came to an quit precisely on the 26th day. After this the fashion reversed and grew to become to the ascending one.

There is the analogous example. On January 3, 2006, the daily and weekly tendencies coincided on the American session. GBP passed more than 200 points all through the session; EURO passed greater than a hundred and sixty factors.

There rise up the following questions.

3. Under the circumstance of the accident of the each day fashion with the weekly one and the balk from MF zone, is the movement regular? Naturally, it's miles! (The strategies of figuring out the tiers of the weekly fashion beginning are explained within the educational route at Masterforex Trading Academy).

four. According to "classics" of Forex, a dealer need to do the subsequent:

a). DeMark recommends to wait at the least till the quit of the day;

b). B. Babcock advises to start to remember out 26 trading days inside the contemporary month;

c). J. Swagger recommends "now not to be engaged within the intra-day change". If the whole fashion is descending, one ought to stake on "sell" with GBP and EURO in opposition to USD and installation the forestall-loss at a "reasonable point of the damage arrest".

3. Now allow us to see what advices the analysts of "respectable" sites gave to investors that very day.

the Forex market Brokers Alpari made a assessment of the Asian consultation on January 3, 2006. Specialists of this center said that the foremost event of the day was to be the edition of the protocol of FOMC assembly devoted to costs on December 13. Participants of the market had been going carefully to observe FOMC minute charts. The motive was the following. For the primary time after a protracted length from the text of the final (concluding) training the Committee withdrew an important word about the stimulating character of the currency policy. In the past year the final trading day become completed with the positive sentiments toward USD. The latter still has possibilities to win again losses on the Asian consultation on Tuesday (December 13, 2005).

Comments. The analysts from Alpari, are they Guru? How can one know where and via how many factors the currency will go inside the forthcoming session? And what is more, the estimation is made issuing from the statistics which might be to be expected on the idea of the fundamental evaluation.

You can imagine how such analysts can confuse buyers with the help of the fundamental analysis by way of suggesting who and wherein will "regain" the money in the next buying and selling consultation.

Here approximately the same day it is written the following. Dealers observe that, normally speaking, currency quotes nevertheless have not left the ranges mounted recently. The pressure on USD rate is explicable through the subsequent reality. Under the condition of low hobby some investors start to near long positions in USD fee.

Expectation of an increase inside the American stock indices gives a certain assist to USD charge. The investors' attention is concentrated on the issue of protocol of the remaining assembly of Open Market Committee of USA Federal redundant machine (FRS).

Comments. How need to a dealer open the location? Should it be achieved at the beginning of the consultation trend? Or, maybe, it is higher to do this after the difficulty of "FOMC assembly protocol". That is, the placement is to be opened after the careful observe of this protocol by using participants of the marketplace.

As a dealer to a dealer, please, explain to me the following. Are such "analytical" opinions, edited on the eve of the buying and selling, beneficial or harmful? If such reviews are adverse to a dealer, what for do the Forex market Brokers prepare them?

I'll deliver no similarly feedback upon such nonsense and dogmas written by using "classics" of the Forex market and their followers - "analysts" from various Forex Brokers.

Better allow us to stay on trading systems developed by up-to-date running buyers at the Forex market. Their descriptions are to be had in Internet.

As a dealer, I'm satisfied that Trading System, developed with the aid of a actual trader, can be much extra useful to a dealer-newbie in his studying how to truly benefit profit. Any Trading System have to be profoundly comprehended through a student. Its application need to be delivered to perfection. The trader ought to work in step with this system almost automatically. Under those conditions, the work with such Trading System might be much extra useful than reading of dozens and masses of books written with the aid of the "classics" of the Forex market (now not-investors). A thoughtless observance of advices given through such "respectable" analysts can be disastrous. Such analysts, writing nonsense one after another, serve for hobbies of various the Forex market Brokers however now not for the ones of investors.

I'll deliver no in addition feedback upon such nonsense and dogmas written by using "classics" of the Forex market and their followers - "analysts" from various Forex Brokers.

As a trader, I'm convinced that TRADING SYSTEM, developed with the aid of a real dealer, may be much greater beneficial to a dealer-amateur in his gaining knowledge of how to clearly advantage profit. Any TRADING SYSTEM have to be profoundly comprehended by means of a student. Its application must be added to perfection. The trader should work consistent with this machine nearly automatically. Under these conditions, the paintings with such TRADING SYSTEM can be much greater useful than analyzing of dozens and masses of books written by means of the "classics" of the Forex market (now not-traders). A inconsiderate observance of advices given by such "respectable" analysts can be disastrous. Such analysts, writing nonsense one after another, serve for pastimes of diverse Forex Brokers however now not for the ones of traders.

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shireness-says · 6 years ago

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Playing the Part ch. 18: Song of Love

Summary: As a stage manager who’s clawed her way up from the bottom, Emma Swan can handle just about anything thrown her way. But does that include handsome lead actor Killian Jones? A CS Broadway AU. Rated T. Also on AO3. Prologue Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3 Ch. 4 Ch. 5 Ch. 6 Ch. 7 Ch. 8 Ch. 9 Ch. 10 Ch. 11 Ch. 12 Ch. 13 Ch. 14 Ch. 15 Ch. 16 Ch. 17

A/N: Thanks for your patience, waiting for this one! I ran out of my stash of already-prepared chapters. I think this one is worth the wait though! After this, there’s just an epilogue and we’re finished.

Chapter title from “Once Upon a Mattress”. My beta, @snidgetsafan, and I would both like you to know this was almost named “A Night We’ll Never Forget” after “Carrie: the Musical”, but thought that might be a joke too far. We’re trying to keep you guys from questioning our sanity.

Tags: @kmomof4, @winterbaby89, @thejollyroger-writer, @mythologicalmango, @onceuponaprincessworld, @idristardis, @teamhook, @courtorderedcake, @aerica13, @revanmeetra87, @snowbellewells, @searchingwardrobes, @mystrangedarkson

Let me know what you think - I promise next week will be up much more promptly!

Somehow, Emma’s hand doesn’t leave Killian’s for the rest of the night. Well, that’s not strictly true; they separate their palms to clap, as is required by an awards show, but their hands keep wandering back together afterwards. It’s becoming an unconscious gesture, but truthfully, Emma doesn’t really have a problem with that. It’s… comfortable isn’t quite the word - that’s somehow too small to describe it. It’s natural, she supposes, like something they were always meant to do. Maybe they were; maybe her resistance was the only thing holding them back. Regardless, she appreciates the comfort and support the gentle pressure of his hand provides.

She needs the support, too, as the surprises keep on coming. Somehow, in all the emotions involved with Killian’s win, she’d forgotten that the production was up for Best Musical until there’s a call for everyone to return to their seats for that award after a break for commercials. Emma’s already seated; that’s not the problem. The problem is a sudden flash of awareness that with two acting wins and a series of technical awards, they’ve really got a chance. And God only knows what will happen then.

“Buck up, Swan,” Killian whispers in her ear as the announcer begins speaking. That phrase has always kind of grated on Emma’s nerves, truth be told, but when she turns to glare at him, Killian’s already grinning and waggling his eyebrows in that way she knows means he’s teasing. Maybe he already knows that about her too; the things he remembers about her always surprise Emma. Regardless, though she rolls her eyes at his antics, some of the tension eases out of her shoulders while the corners of her mouth tease at a smile. That last part wasn’t intentional, but that seems to just be the effect Killian has on her lately.

(She’s already half in love with him, Emma knows, and that might be part of it too. God, there’s so much she needs to say to him once this is over, so much she wants to do to him.)

Still, it’s a good thing she’s got a good grip on Killian, because she needs that grounding when Pride & Prejudice is announced as the winner. She hears the words, knows what they mean, but that doesn’t help her brain process the declaration at all. The applause is so loud and this means - well this means everything to Emma: professionally, emotionally, possibly spiritually if the actualizing of all of Mary Margaret’s hope speeches can be counted as Emma’s religion. It’s hard in the moment for her mind to wrap itself around the fact that they’ve won, that she’s part of the team responsible for a Tony Award winning show.

Emma’s on autopilot when she stands up to let Mary Margaret and David through to reach the stage, but Killian tugs her out into the aisle instead.

“Aren’t you coming, Swan?” he grins, his intent obvious.

“Oh, I don’t know —” Emma demurs, but Killian is already tugging her up the aisle.

“It’s your baby too,” he whispers as they reach the stairs up to the stage, carefully handing her onto the first steps so she doesn’t trip. He has a point. After his lovely speech, too, it seems stupid not to just get up there and bask in the applause for a few moments.

Merlin gives the acceptance speech, but honestly, Emma doesn’t hear most of it. The lights are so bright and the ambient noise of the crowd so much louder than she anticipated that it’s overwhelming. Emma’s never been more glad that her job is in the shadows and the corners of the theater most people will never see, if only to avoid the hundreds of intense stares in her direction. It feels that way, at least, even if Emma consciously knows they’re just looking at the stage in general, and most likely at Merlin at the microphone. Still, it’s mildly terrifying, and Emma’s grateful for the gentle pressure of Killian’s hand on her back.

The real benefit of winning the last award of the night - besides the obvious perk of, you know, winning - is that all those gathered on stage for the acceptance speech get ushered off into the wings and towards the press, avoiding the masses all trying to file out down Radio City’s aisles. Merlin’s speech may have been one of the shortest of the night or one of the longest - Emma doesn’t really know for sure, far too preoccupied with trying to process the significance of the moment - but the crowd roars its applause again as the play-off music swells and Killian starts to gently steer her offstage. Emma doesn’t mind, she’s fine to go; there’s so much going on that it’s kind of nice to have someone else to direct her.

They’re barely clear of exiting cast, crew and producers before Killian’s excitement bubbles over and he sweeps Emma off her feet, whooping and twirling around in a circle. It must look very dramatic, well suited to the venue. His Best Actor trophy digs a little into her back, and Emma knows he’d be deeply apologetic if she complained, but truthfully, she’s too caught up in the joy of the moment to care overly much.

“Can you believe it, Swan?” he asks with a smile stretching from ear to ear, before continuing without waiting for an answer. “God, this is all just… Gods.”

“I know!” Emma laughs. Maybe to anyone else his sentence wouldn’t have made sense, but she hears enough of the surprise and pride and pure elation to know that she shares the sentiment, even if neither one of them can quite put it into words.

“We couldn’t have done it without you, you know,” he says, purposefully making eye contact to drive home his point, though he still smiles like a happy maniac. “I wasn’t kidding, this is your baby too. No one deserved to be on that stage more than you.”

Emma’s stomach suddenly flips. She’s wanted to talk to Killian since his touching speech, but now she’s struck with nerves. This is the moment though, even if there are still people milling about. Looking at his joy, however, restores some of her calm. It’s miraculous how much his smile can achieve.

“Speaking of,” she starts, “I just wanted to say — ”

Before she can get any further, her phone starts buzzing insistently in her handbag. It’s undoubtedly Henry; God, she loves her kid, but his timing really needs work. Groaning, she retrieves the device from her purse, noting that it is indeed her son. “Sorry, I’ve just got — ” she starts to explain.

“Not to worry, love,” Killian replies genially, his face settling into a fond expression. Emma’s not sure whether it’s affection for herself or for Henry or for both, but she loves that expression regardless, and all that it signifies.

She’s barely connected the call before Henry begins shrieking on the other end, so loud that she has to keep the phone pulled back from her ear and Killian laughs. “You won! You won, you won, you won!” Henry cheers. Emma can practically picture him in her mind’s eye, bouncing around Elsa’s living room in his excitement.

“Yeah, we did, kid,” Emma laughs right back once she can finally get the phone safely near her ear. “How do you feel about that? I can’t tell,” she teases. Killian’s being directed towards where the press awaits by an insistent theater employee as she talks, the moment she thought she’d grasped slipping even further away. I’ll be back, he mouths, quickly tossing up a hand in a little wave.

Meanwhile, Henry continues on the other end of the phone call. “This is so cool!” he gushes. “Did you touch the statue? Can you bring it home so I can show all my friends? Is there, like, a certificate too or something?”

“Slow down, kid,” Emma says, but it’s probably a lost cause. Emma doesn’t blame him; this is a big moment, and she’d probably be doing the same thing in his shoes. “Killian let me hold his earlier, but I haven’t touched the show award yet. I don’t know what will happen with the show statue, but I bet it will be at the theater for your friends to come see. Otherwise maybe Robin or Killian will let us borrow theirs. I don’t actually know if there’s a certificate, but I can probably find out.”

“Is Killian there? Can I talk to him? Liam wants to talk to him too.” Emma can’t help but smile fondly as she remembers Henry’s starstruck reaction to Liam Jones only a few months ago; now, you’d never know. That’s her son, though, ready and determined to make friends with everyone that crosses his path.

“Killian is actually doing press stuff right now, but I’ll make sure he calls his brother later. Now in the meantime… don’t you have your last Monday of school tomorrow? I think it’s time for bed.”

“Mom,” Henry whines, but Emma won’t be swayed. It is approaching 11:30 pm after all; he’s only been allowed to stay up this long because it’s a special occasion.

“Nope, none of that,” she chides back. “Go get ready for bed, we’ll do the full recap tomorrow. I bet you’ll realize how tired you are when you crawl under the covers.”

“Fine,” he huffs. “But you’d better tell me everything.”

“I promise. Love you, kiddo.”

“Love you too, Mom. I’m happy you won.”

“Thanks, Henry. I am too.”

———

Killian’s probably less chatty in his interviews than the red carpet reporters would prefer - not to mention the show’s publicity department - but he’s too anxious to find Emma again to bother with more. She’d had a look on her face right before Henry called, one that said she was about to say something significant, and he’s itching to know what it was. He’d bet money it was about his speech, but he’s got less of a guess about what she’d have to say on the subject. He hopes it would be a thank you - not because he did it for the gratitude, but because that would mean she has accepted that her own role deserves thanking and attention and recognition, accepted that she plays an integral role not just anyone could fill. If her initial reluctance to join everyone onstage to accept the award for Best New Musical is any indication, though, he’s afraid that might not be the case.

By the time he makes it through press, she’s already waiting for the cars with the rest of their group except Belle, who must still be making her way through the crowds herself. It seems slightly ridiculous to Killian that they’re driving the few blocks instead of just walking ten minutes to the Plaza for the official afterparty, but then again, he’s not the one wearing high heels. They would have looked a little absurd walking down the messy streets of New York in their formal wear anyways.

“Hey, you survived the masses,” Emma teases. He wants to know what she was going to say, demand she continue right now, but Killian knows it’s not the right moment; not here, in front of all their friends.

“I did,” he replies instead, smiling at Emma. With those lovely heels she’s got on, it’s less of a downwards motion tonight; they’re almost level in height, though he’s still got an inch or two on her. “Not to jinx myself, but I think I may actually be getting the hang of this public speaking thing.”

Emma snorts at that. “Yeah, that’s what the statue says,” she replies dryly, though the smile creases around her eyes and mouth say that she knew he meant the interviews, not the acting. “You should call your brother, by the way.”

“I will once we get into the car,” he promises. “Less noise that way.”

As if summoned by magic, the first of the SUVs appears just then, pulling up to the curb. The idea of getting out of this mass of people - or at least getting to the next mass of people who will inevitably be waiting in front of the Plaza for pictures before they enter the afterparty - is appealing, but Killian also doesn’t want to leave the rest of their party behind. Belle’s still working her way through the press line, the bright flowers of her yellow dress only just visible when Killian turns back to look, and God only knows how long it will take for her to break free. It feels rude to abandon Will, Mary Margaret, and David, just because his own ride is here and waiting.

He should have counted on Mary Margaret having other ideas though. “Go,” she smiles, “I can tell you’re ready to get out of here.”

“We’re fine waiting, it’s really not a big deal,” Killian tries to protest - albeit weakly - but Mary Margaret just waves him off in a little shooing motion.

“We’ll be fine, I promise,” she assures him.

“It’s really best not to argue with her,” Emma sighs, though there’s obvious affection in her voice. “Mary Margaret may look sweet, but she gets her way in the end.”

And really, who is he to argue with that? Especially if it would be pointless anyways.

Killian gladly hands Emma up into the interior of the SUV, clambering up after her and trying not to step on her dress as they squeeze into the very back row, Regina and Robin climbing in right after. Emma slips out of those lovely heels as soon as she’s seated, letting out a borderline inappropriate groan of relief as her toes and arches are freed from the contortions they’ve been forced into. Killian doesn’t blame her for that - even if they’ll be in the car for less than ten minutes, he’s sure every one of them feels heavenly.

(It’s a little hard to concentrate when she makes those noises, though.)

“God, that feels good,” she sighs. It doesn’t help matters in the least. His face must make quite the picture, as Emma huffs a little laugh in the back of her throat when she looks in his direction, her mouth quirking up at the corners in a poorly-suppressed smile. “Are you going to call Liam?”

It takes an embarrassing moment for the words to process, and Killian has to actually shake his head to settle his thoughts back into order. Well done, Killian. “Yes, yes, of course. Thank you. I’ll do that now.”

Liam picks up on the first ring, which makes Killian think he was just waiting for the call. “Congratulations, brother!”

“Thanks, Liam,” he replies bashfully. It’ll take some getting used to, hearing all the congratulations for his work, but it’s something Killian thinks that he could get used to. Not that there’s much of a choice there - as long as he’s got this statue, there will now be people applauding his having received it. “Were you able to see everything on TV?” It’s admittedly a stupid question, but it will hopefully turn the conversation back away from him. In the adjacent seat, Emma rolls her eyes like she knows exactly what he’s doing. She probably does, frankly.

So does Liam, unfortunately. “Yes we were, but this isn’t about me, Killy,” his older brother reminds him. “Now tell me, how does it feel to have won?”

“It feels pretty damn fantastic,” Killian admits. It’s the first time he’s said that and really meant it; with the press, it was just convenient words to say, and the ones they wanted to hear anyways. No one wants to hear a celebrity try to work through their muddled feelings on the red carpet when anyone else would be immediately thrilled.

“It’s well deserved, Brother, I promise. How’d Emma react to that speech?”

Killian has to force himself not to look in Emma’s direction at the question, needlessly paranoid it would give something away. “Don’t know.”

“She’s sitting right there, isn’t she?”

“Yes.”

“Well get back to her, get back to her!” Liam urges. “If that speech didn’t impress her, she’s crazy, and Emma Swan doesn’t strike me as crazy.”

“Oh my God, shut up, Liam,” Killian hisses into the phone. Emma’s quietly chuckling next to him; at least someone is enjoying this. “Go back to your date or whatever, I’ll talk to you later.”

“It is not a date — ” his brother starts to protest, but Killian disconnects the call before Liam can take the excuse any further.

“Liam pulling your pigtails?” Emma asks.

“He’s a piece of work,” Killian grumbles right back, much to Emma’s amusement as she lets out another peal of laughter. That gets him to smile at least; she’s always been able to do it, like a special superpower.

“He loves you,” she points out, and well, that’s true too.

“Yeah. I know he does.”

As if on cue, Killian’s phone buzzes inside his jacket’s breast pocket.

I’m proud of you, Kil. Have a great time with your girl.

Any lingering annoyance with Liam melts away immediately. That’s all he’s ever wanted, after all, ever since he was a little kid: to make his brother proud. Liam’s always been his hero, so that’s the highest compliment that can be paid to him.

Killian tucks his phone away with a new sense of peace and happiness about him, conveniently just as the car pulls up to the hotel.

“You ready for more?” Emma asks, bending nearly in half to secure her stilettos once again.

He’d rather have that conversation with Emma, but it’s still not the moment for that, not with a crowd of people waiting for him to make an appearance. For now, they’re just here for a celebration. As such, there’s really only one answer to her question.

“Lead on, Swan.”

———

She probably should have figured that the afterparty would be boring. After all, the executives aren’t exactly known for being a rolicking good time. That’s the actors.

It’s not awful, it’s just kind of… bland. The music is perfectly acceptable, but no one wants to dance. The food is fine, but not exceptional. It honestly seems like most of the money has been spent on decorations, and whatever trendy vibe they were going for manages to clash spectacularly with the staid, old money aesthetic that exemplifies the Plaza Hotel.

There are highlights too, of course - namely the way Killian sticks by her side like glue all night, one hand always tangled in her fingers or wrapped around her waist. Whenever their eyes meet, Killian seems on guard, like he’s waiting for her to tell him to stop, but Emma never does. She never wants to. So instead, she just smiles, and turns back to the party.

The people make up for it, somewhat. Her own little crew keeps her smiling and laughing, and at a party like this, there’s plenty of famous faces around who all seem to want to congratulate Killian. It starts feeling like a bizarre fever dream, meeting all these celebrities she usually only sees in magazines. Everyone is perfectly nice, of course - Emma’s particularly happy to discover that Lin-Manuel Miranda really is the friendliest man alive, and tries not to geek out too much when Matthew Broderick comes up to graciously congratulate the man who beat him and ends up shaking her hand like it’s a totally normal thing to do and not one of the highlights of Emma’s life.

Killian’s off getting them drinks when Merlin sidles up beside Emma. “Hey, congratulations!” she says as soon as she notices him; in addition to accepting the award for Best Musical on their behalf, he’d also been recognized for his directing.

“And you as well!” he wishes her in return with a wide smile on his face. This just might be the happiest Emma has ever seen him. It’s a little odd to see her director in such a celebratory mood - though Merlin is certainly enthusiastic and generally happy, this is something else altogether.

Still, Emma’s not sure she deserves his congratulations. “I don’t know about that,” she hedges with a smile on her face, not outright rejecting the sentiment but not fully embracing it either.

That visibly perturbs Merlin, a little serious frown etching itself onto his mouth. “I’m not sure you’re aware of exactly how indispensable a role you’ve played, Emma. It takes a certain kind of person to not just do your job, but do it well. And with the way you anticipate problems, you’re possibly the best I’ve worked with,” he states confidently, heedless of the blush spreading across her cheeks. “Anyhow, what’s the saying? It takes a village? I think that could be applied to a show as well. And you’ve done a lot to keep the villagers from running around in circles like madmen,” Merlin confides, chuckling a little at his own joke.

Emma’s never been good at accepting praise, probably due to lack of opportunity in her youth, but it still means something to hear that from her director, her boss. “Thanks. That, uh… that means a lot,” she finally settles on.

“I speak only the truth,” Merlin replies. “Now, I know this is a ways out - several years, most likely - but a friend of mine is working on a new musical, a madcap murder caper. I don’t suppose you’d be interested? Availability permitting, of course, and we’d discuss it further once things became definite, but I think we’ve made a good team.”

Emma remembers Robin’s words from all those months ago, about how directors like to work with an established team. Now that it seems like that may actually be developing, she’ll have to thank him for his wisdom and encouragement. “I’d love that. Keep me in the loop.”

“Excellent. I’ll let you get back to your date,” he excuses as Killian returns with a pair of champagne flutes, “but really, congratulations. It’s been such a pleasure working together.”

Emma flushes an even deeper pink as Merlin walks away, but there’s a grin there too.

“Good news?” Killian asks as he hands her a drink.

Emma laughs a little, mostly to herself, before quipping, “I think I might have made it, kid.”

“I never had a doubt.”

———

They somehow end up in Granny’s diner at the end of the night. It’d probably been inevitable, really; it seems like so many of his and Emma’s milestones along the way to where they are now - wherever they are - have happened in that restaurant. It doesn’t hurt either that the food at the official afterparty is boring buffet fare, and Granny’s is open 24 hours. The lady herself has long since gone to bed - it is one in the morning - but the kitchen is more than happy to send out a variety of burgers and fries and grilled cheeses with onion rings. Emma has seemed slightly on edge all night, though happy; Killian is eternally grateful that she was able to accompany him and witness their win herself, but he knows the awards weren’t quite her scene. Here, in Granny’s corner booth with a dollop of whipped cream on her nose from her oreo shake, she’s more in her element, laughing with their friends and sticking her tongue out at him when he swipes the whipped cream off.

(God, he loves her.)

His heart does a happy little jig when Emma rests her head on his shoulder as hot drinks and slices of pie are distributed, though he does his best to play it cool. Still, Killian can’t resist the urge to wrap his arm around her waist, both to support her and to tug her just a little bit closer. If the little sigh Emma exhales onto his shoulder is any indication, she’s not opposed either.

She wasn’t supposed to fall asleep, though; that was never something Killian had anticipated happening. Part of him doesn’t want to wake her back up. Emma looks so peaceful in sleep, her features fully relaxed and serene, and it seems like such a shame to disturb that. They’re closing in on three in the morning, however, and as much joy as Killian takes from having Emma Swan nestled against him, her own bed must be so much more comfortable than this booth and his bony shoulder.

“Swan,” he whispers at first. That’s not particularly successful; Emma hums a little half-asleep sound, but makes no attempt to make her way back to wakefulness. Indeed, she tries to burrow her face further into his flesh. It’s endearing, certainly, and cute beyond words, but not particularly helpful. “Swan,” he repeats, “you’ve got to wake up.” A little nudgey shrug is more successful, causing Emma to finally lift her head with bleary eyes and her brows furrowed in confusion.

“What time is it?” she slurs, stretching in a way that does not accentuate her bust in the least.

“Nearly 3 am. Can I walk you home?”

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” she yawns.

“I think it’s about time we were all heading home,” Mary Margaret cuts in, sliding out of the vinyl booth seat. Will and Belle already departed almost an hour ago, off to their own celebrations that Killian would rather not know more about, and Robin had left immediate after they were done eating to pick Roland up, but Ruby, Regina, Mary Margaret, and David had all stuck it out - though David looks like he’s about to fall asleep on the tabletop as well. There’s hugs all around as everyone piles into various cabs, but finally, it’s just Killian and Emma - just the way he’s wanted all night. They’ve both got things to say, Emma especially, and Killian’s ready to listen to all of it.

———

The night is peaceful, just the two of them - at least as far as that’s possible in a busy city of millions. The more Emma thinks about it, the more she thinks that the peace she feels is less due to the time or location, and more due to some inner serenity. It sounds ridiculous to think of it like that, but that seems to make the most sense. She’s happy; that’s what matters.

Her apartment is only a few blocks away, so without any verbal agreement or further discussion, Killian and Emma both set out walking in that direction instead of hailing a cab. She doesn’t need escorting home, not really, but she’d happily accepted all the same for the chance to spend a little more time in Killian’s company. It will give them a chance to talk uninterruptedly, anyways, if Emma can bring herself to upset their current harmony. She’s not nervous about it anymore, far from it; still, in the midst of such a perfect moment, it’s hard to bring herself to interrupt it with something so silly as talking.

Emma’s just preparing to break the silence herself when Killian jumps in first. “It’s a lovely night, isn’t it?” he asks softly, a gentle smile playing across his lips as he looks towards the skyline.

“Yeah. Yeah, it is.” Emma’s not talking about the weather. She thinks Killian might not be either. Quickly, she plows ahead with her intended speech before they both get lost in another moment again. “Listen, I just wanted to thank you, Killian. For tonight, and the speech - God, especially that speech - and… everything. Thank you.”

“Oh, Swan, that’s nothing you need to thank me for,” he replies, blushing red and letting his hand steal away to that nervous spot on his neck again.

“Yeah, there is,” she insists right back. “You didn’t have to do that.”

That catches Killian’s attention, his body suddenly snapping back upright from the bashful position it had curled into. “Of course I did,” he says. There’s a fire in his gaze that wasn’t there before, that Emma usually only sees at the theater when he’s passionate about what he’s doing. “I know you don’t do this for the thanks, but I see all the work you put in every day. Hell, some days you hold this entire thing together through sheer force of will. All without any thanks.” He pauses to take a deep breath. “I didn’t do it for your thanks. I did it because you deserve to be thanked. I think we all know I’m not exactly an unbiased source,” he chuckles wryly, “but what you do, day in and day out, is amazing. You’re amazing, and brilliant, and… I just wanted everyone to know that. Yourself included.”

It amazes Emma, most days, the fierceness of what Killian feels for her. To hear him speak, you’d think she was an angel sent to earth, a powerful goddess walking amongst mortals, the most amazing thing he’s ever encountered. It’s even more awe-inspiring to realize that that’s exactly how he sees her.

The thing is, the way Emma sees Killian isn’t much different. Maybe she wouldn’t get so melodramatic in her descriptions the way he might - she’s never been one to use the word “angel” anyways - but she’d readily call him one of the kindest, most thoughtful men she knows, and more than deserving of all the good things that have come his way.

“Now, I don’t mean - please don’t take what I’m about to say as a demand for thanks, because it’s not, I didn’t say all those things for the thanks,” he continues, fully babbling now, “but I was just wondering - well, you see, I like you, Emma, really like you, rather halfway in love if I’m placing all my cards on the table - and I know I’ve asked before, but so much has changed, and… well, to borrow the quote, my affections and wishes are unchanged,” he grins a little at his joke, albeit somewhat nervously. The silly man. “I suppose what I’m getting at, what I’m wondering — ”

Emma doesn’t wait to find out what he’s wondering, however, even if she’s pretty sure she knows what’s coming. Too impatient to wait any longer for him to collect his thoughts - can that boy ever ramble - she surges up suddenly to pull his face down to hers and mash their lips together, one hand sliding into his hair to tug and caress the strands the way she’s wanted to for longer than she’s willing to admit. Weeks, for sure; probably months. Whatever the case, the moment is now, and she’s going to revel in every bit of it.

Though Killian is initially caught off guard, emitting a little shocked grunt (Emma would kill for photographic evidence of it, imagining cartoonish popped eyes and pinwheeling arms), he relaxes into the kiss almost immediately. Maybe if Killian was initiating, their kiss would be a gentle, deliberate thing; that’s the way she’s always imagined it, at least. Emma’s the one in charge though, so this kiss is fierce, hungry, almost desperate. She wants to learn all of it, all at once - the way he sounds when she nips at his lip or sucks at his tongue, whether he likes it when she pulls on the hair at the nape of his neck (and oh, if those groans and moans are indication, he does, he absolutely does), all of it. Killian seems much of the same mind as his hands settle possessively at her hips, thumbs tracing along the sheer panel at her midriff as his head tilts and readjusts in a quest for the perfect angle at which to explore her mouth. It’s the realization of months and months of longing and repressed feelings and they slam together, pressed tight against each other’s fronts as their mouths practically meld into one, and it’s perfect.

They finally break apart when more than the quickest gulps of air become necessary, but Emma’s hand slips down to grip Killian’s lapel - for stability or comfort or whatever else she doesn’t know, but it somehow feels necessary for her continued existence. “That was…”

“Yeah, it was,” he replies, before letting out a laugh - a joyful, winded sound. “God, what was that? You didn’t even let me get out the question,” he teases gently.

Even his ribbing can’t wipe the smile off her face, though. “You were taking too long,” she shrugs, mindlessly nosing at his neck. It’s a new frontier, one she looks forward to kissing and nibbling once she gets a second wind.

“Ah, well, forgive me. This seems a little redundant now, but I don’t suppose you’d want to get a cup of coffee sometime?” He’s obviously aware of the sense of deja vu from his first attempt at this, grinning madly with a twinkle in his eye.

“What do you think?” Emma whispers in reply, drawing him back down for another round of kissing.

As if there was any other answer now, after all they’ve done and all they’ve been through, but the most enthusiastic yes.

#cs ff #captain swan #my writing #Playing the Part #Song of Love #Broadway AU #stage manager!Emma #actor!Killian #and some kissing #fine: and a very serious make-out

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titsoutforseguinwriting-blog · 6 years ago

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Untitled Chapter 4

Chapter 4 Christmas had come and gone. I had convinced Harley to stay for Christmas and New Years. Harley and I spent Christmas Eve with Tyler at his place. We all helped make a horrible Christmas dinner and then drank more than we should have and played drunk board games. Christmas day was busy. Tyler went to spend it with his family which left Harley and I to our own devices until 9:00 when we had scheduled a movie night with Kappy and Willy. Despite being busy it was one of the most happiest Christmas’ I’ve had. New Years was spent sitting in Kappy and Willys apartment, Harley and I drinking till we could barely walk and the boys taking care of us. I watched Tyler’s Instagram story all night. Missing him. Before he left to go back to Dallas we had talked about us. The dreaded talk. We had decided that we were together, but we hadn’t really told the public. Harley and I were going to the Leafs game tonight, but Kappy said he wanted to talk before he had to start getting ready. I took an uber to the rink and went to the room where Kappy and I were supposed to meet. I couldn’t help but wonder what he needed to talk about. I approached the office, I heard multiple people talking over each other. They were talking about me. They were talking about my style and looks. I wanted to wait and hear what they were going to say about me, but at the same time I didn’t want to hear it. I knocked quietly and as soon as the noise of my knocking echoed throughout the hall the talking stopped. It was quiet. “Come in” was shouted as I opened the door. As soon as I entered through the door I saw Kappy sitting down in front of a desk looking stressed out. “Hi” I said, as more of a question. “So, Hazy we’re going to get straight to the point” The man in the black shirt said, he spoke quickly like he was nervous. “Okay… continue” I mumbled sitting down besides Kappy. “I want you and Kappy to fake date” the man spoke looking me in the eyes. “Uh what the fuck?” I said looking around at the men that were in the room. “Kappy needs more publicity, and we think you would be perfect for the job” the shortest guy in the room said. “I think you have the wrong person, did you guys not do your research on me? I dated Auston Matthews, you know the one whos plays on this very team and was seen with Tyler Seguin” I objected. “Hazy, I know you want to go to college, not that you’re not with Auston anymore so, if you decide to do this we will pay for your tuition here” The short man said. “Haha that’s funny” I laughed everyone was looking at me with straight faces. “We’re being serious Hazy” the man said. “Alright, let’s do this I guess” I joked looking at Kappy. “Hey boyfriend” “Hey Girlfriend”

Kappy and I had been “dating” for a few weeks now and let me tell you the responses to Kappy and I’s instagram posts signalifying that we were now a couple were not pretty. Fake dating him was pretty easy. Wear his jersey to games, be seen holding hands in public, and post about each other. Everyone was taking it pretty well except Tyler. He was mad that I was dating someone, he knew that it was fake but that meant that we couldn’t be together. And to be completely honest I knew I wanted to be with Tyler but with him in Dallas and me here in Toronto, maybe it was for the better we weren't together right now. I was sitting at Kappy and Willy’s apartment waiting for them to be ready for the game because I was going to ride with them since Harley had to go back to Minnesota. I was wearing my Kapanen jersey with black jeans and black wedges. I knew Kappy and I needed new pictures so I could keep up with the act so I dressed up a bit. “You look nice seems like you’re trying to impress someone” Kappy said walking up to the counter I was sitting at. “Well yeah, we’re supposed to act like we like each other so I decided I might as well make him swoon with my beauty” I joked. “Well I’m definitely swooning”

The boys and I had decided to go out tonight, and have a little fun since they didn’t have a game tomorrow. Kappy, Willy and I stopped at my apartment so I could get an outfit for the club and my overnight stuff because the boys won’t let me stay at my place alone when I’m drunk. When we arrived at their apartment I sat my bag on their couch, as they went up to their room to change. Not too long after the boys walked into the living room wearing jeans and t-shirts. I grabbed my purse as Kappy locked the door and we left. It didn’t talk too long for the boys and I to start drinking. Willy and I were going shot for shot, which isn’t very good for me since I’m significantly smaller than him.

It was almost 1:00 am and I was definitely drunk. I was sitting in the booth with Kappy beside me and Mitch and Connor sitting across from us. I laid my head on Kappy’s shoulder closing my eyes trying to get the spinning to slow down. “Hey, babe you okay?” he whispered in my ear, his breath tickling the baby hairs on my neck. I turned my head so I was facing him. “You look really good tonight Kappy” I breathed looking between his eyes and lips. “Not as beautiful as you” the space between us closed. I could feel Kappy slowly intensify the kiss. He pulled away and looked at me, asking for permission. I knew that this wasn’t going to be the best choice I could have made but I was technically single and I was lonely. “Take me home Kasperi” I mumbled into the kiss. He pulled away and took his phone out to order an uber. Mitch saying “Oh fuck” under his breath was all I heard before I felt my phone start ringing. It was Tyler I sent him to voicemail as Kappy grabbed my hand and we walked out of the club to our uber. After a fifteen minute ride that felt like thirty we were finally at the apartment. Once we were in the door Kappy had me against the wall. I knew what drunk Hazy wanted and I was thinking that was what Kappy wanted as well, and I wasn’t going to stop him.

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cheesekatze · 6 years ago

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Light in the Darkness Ch. 4

Hey guys. So this chapter is a bit longer than the others but I think it’s a pretty important one. It does set up a lot for the future and allows you to get a bit familiar with how this world works. I’m working on a height chart for them all and I can tell you that Virgil is the shortest, Roman is the tallest and has the largest wings. Their tails are also all different from each other’s so look for that coming up. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

-Kat

Beginning | Last Chapter | Next Chapter

Before they left for the living room, Logan pulled out an ebony shirt of his for Patton to use until they could get him a replacement light blue one. Virgil had sat himself on the coffee table almost immediately. Whereas Roman sat on a stool he had grabbed from the kitchen, since his large wings did not allow him to sit in a recliner, which was to the right of Virgil. Patton sat across from Virgil on the plain cream-hued couch, since he knew he was the one getting interrogated here. Logan, stayed standing, though took to being to the left of Virgil.

“ I guess...” Patton began, fidgeting in his seat for a moment. “...I should begin with admitting that I technically wasn’t even supposed to be on Earth at that time.”

Logan raised a brow at this confession, gesturing for an explanation being needed. “ You are an angel. They only return to Heaven for rest as far as I am aware. Why in the three realms would you not be supposed to be on Earth?”

“ Well, yes. I loved working with the humans and helping them learn to be friendly with others. However, I ended up getting promoted around 50 years ago.....and then....the other angels thought it was too important of a position to possibly risk sending my ‘naïve nature’ back out into the field.” He made air quotes around naïve nature, as if he didn’t believe it to be a truthful observation. He returned to smiling when he looked up at them. “ So I snuck out to do my job... I was on my way back to Heaven when I was...” He paused, gesturing to his injured wing as if the answer was obvious.

Roman spoke up next, giving a slight smile at the usually bubbly person in front of him. “ A promotion? I honestly did not believe there was a higher position than ‘Guardian’ angel status. To what position were you promoted, little dove?”

The other two flinched at the nickname, which was mostly used as a derogatory name for angels since their wings were just as white. Logan understood that Roman was using it playfully, but they didn’t know how their little angel would take to being referred to as such.

The blond sat back, nervously fidgeting with the edge of the black polo he was wearing for a moment. “ I...shouldn’t say yet...I need to get more comfortable around you guys before I’m ready to talk about that.” He pressed his left palm against the mark on his neck, another nervous habit.

“ Understandable. In all technicality, we are still enemies. Disclosing such information to us would be advantageous towards us and would allow us, if we were to trick you, to use you for blackmail purposes or use you as a hostage.” Logan straightened, pushing up his glasses unneccesarily. “ I assume that the mark on your neck is also connected to that position, so we shall refrain from asking about it.”

“ Well...sort of. It stands for Kindness, which is my main virtue.” Patton beamed while stating it, his overly bright nature shining through to a blinding extent. He was slightly proud of being kind.

“ Alright. My turn to ask a question.” Virgil slouched forward, eyes glaring at Patton from under his violet bangs, “ Your plan for what to do next? What is it? You obviously can’t fly anywhere and you’re in the presence of 3 demon lords. So how do you plan to go about life knowing these facts.”

“ Virgil, that is rather a blunt way to state such an unfortunate situation. Can you not rephrasing to-” ��

“ Roman, it’s fine. I can answer his question myself. Thank you for trying to help though.” Patton interrupted him then sat back, looking up to contemplate his answer. “ I...guess I’ll figure out my next course of action once I’m all healed up. If you had wanted to hurt or kill me, you honestly would have done so already and I’m not really afraid of the ones that helped me on more than one occasion. I’m more thankful than anything.”Patton paused, looking back to them with a small smile.

“ So to answer your question, Virgil. I don’t have a plan yet. I guess you can say that I’m winging it.” Patton giggled at his own pun, even as Logan groaned. Rather adorable of him.

Roman looked to Logan expectantly, a large smile adorning his tan features. “ Can we keep him, my nerdy companion? I promise that I’ll be the one to take the blame if things go sour, like they ever would with me around, but still. He’s so flipping cute and he’s the only angel I’ve seen acting nice to us since we became demons. Please.” Roman pleaded with Logan, a child to parent relationship scenario from the looks.

Logan looked to Virgil to see if he was okay with this, but found Patton happily trying to get the darker demon to smile with a parade of puns on feathers and halos and just about anything he could that was related. Apparently, the angel was winning too, as Virgil was hiding his mouth under his hand, trying to stifle the slight chuckles that kept escaping.

Logan looked back to Roman, groaning as he came to accept that Virgil was undoubtably fine with it for now. He pinched the bridge of his nose and glared in Roman’s direction, a growl on his throat.“ If he does anything to harm any of us or something goes wrong, I will personally gut you and force you to swallow your own organs. Got it, Princey?”

Logan was then engulfed in a hug, his feet dangling while Roman held him close. “ Thank you. You shall not regret this, Logan.” The elder was released, being left in favor of interaction with their guest.

Logan turned to the three of them and cleared his throat to grab everyone’s attention. “ Alright. It is rather clear that Patton will remain here until his wounds have completely healed. I shall prepare a guest bedroom for Patton to use until he leaves. Roman, you are to be in charge of obtaining some outfits for Patton to wear while he resides here. The both of you should also stay here so we may ensure that this secret does not spread to the other Lords or King, or even worse....the common ilk that plague our realm.” He warned, pushing up his glasses once more.

“ We get it, calculator watch. Don’t tell anyone, especially Remy.” Roman rolled his eyes and turned to Patton as soon as Logan had vanished into the hallway. “ Alright, what do you like? Any activities I am perfectly able to provide need to be kept inside. We shall worry about outdoor activities for another time.”

“ I like a lot of things. So many that I think it would be easiest to say what I don’t enjoy.” Patton giggled, curling his wing around himself happily.

“ Alright. Then I shall tell the stories of how I vanquished the formidable Dragon Witch, Cliara.” Roman announced, standing at his full height with his hands on his hips.

“ I think I’ll pass, Princey. I should probably go get some work done-” Virgil was interrupted from his movement by a look from Patton, a look inviting him to stay. He even moved to the right side of the couch and pat the spot to his left, inviting him to sit next to him.

“ Please, Kiddo? I’m sure it will only be for a little bit and I can help you get more comfortable if needed.”

He wanted to decline, wanted to, but he found himself slowly settling himself by Patton’s side. He still kept a small amount of distance and pouted at being treated like a child, but stayed for the duration of Roman’s story to correct certain parts he knew would be over-exaggerated or over-played.

The only one to notice the singular white feather falling from pure wings quietly hid it behind his back in favor of hearing more of the tale with a happy smile.

He could worry about his own problems at another time.

#demons and angels au #Angel Patton #Sanders Sides demons #Light in the Darkness Au

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distressindisguise · 6 years ago

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Ranking My Jarchie Fanfiction

I’ve been in the Riverdale fandom for a long time so I’m going to start this off by stating that in the very beginning, the main ships were Beronica and Jarchie. Crazy right? Bughead wasn’t really a thing. Now, there are barely any Jarchie scenes in the show but I still write Jarchie fanfiction on wattpad here.

I love writing reviews and just writing period and after re-reading my fanfiction for the first time in months, I’ve decided to write a brutally honest review. So let’s begin.

5. Meadow Of Flowers

For some reason, this is one of my most popular fics. Though it always seems that way right? The things you write that you’re most proud of never get the recognition you think it deserves, but the things that have been slapped together hastily seem to do very well. A. K. A the fanfiction writer’s curse.

Here are the good things: the idea and the plot started off great. It’s a cute, clear concept. It’s not complex or hard to comprehend. The prep draws flowers on the goths notebook, the goth surprises the prep by drawing more flowers, and the prep tries to get to know him so he creates a tumblr and messages him anonymously. The text messages sent between the two are funny. It’s a good laugh, something to snicker at when you’re bored and have free time. The characters are really interesting. Archie has an infectious attitude and watching Jughead try to deal with it is equally as entertaining.

Here are the bad things. The plot loses itself somewhere in the middle. All of a sudden Jughead has an ex girlfriend that comes back in town and his father is the leader of the Mafia or some while crazy crap like that. There becomes too many irrelevant characters. None of the rest of book actually has to do with the main concept, the meadow of flowers drawn on a piece of paper that brought them together. I really don’t know how that concept got so lost. But even still, it garners up tons of reads. For what reason? Probably because of the text messages. Archie’s dirty pick up lines and Jughead’s insertion of memes are probably the only thing that keeps readers coming back.

The writing also extremely lacks. It’s a dialogue based book. There’s not much substance there. It’s literally all quotes. Definitely not my best work. I’d say it’s my worst. I cringe when people tell me they love it so much.

I haven’t updated the book in months and honestly I don’t think I’ve ever going to. If anything, I’ll delete all of the wild chapters and keep the text messages. This fic is the definition of the cringe side of Wattpad and I promise you my other fics are nothing like this trainwreck.

4. Treehouse

Treehouse is my only ongoing fanfiction. It’s probably going to be my last Jarchie fanfic. I’m not sure if it’s my last fanfic on Wattpad though. I’ll have to see. I’m kind of over the Riverdale fandom and the show if I’m being completely honest.

Jughead and Archie spend a summer in the latter’s treehouse getting to know each other, but once they get back to school the story gets twisted into a lot of dirty rumors. Jughead wants to forget what happened, but Archie wants to further their relationship.

Good things: Characterization. Jughead is fem! In this book. He’s bubbly, innocent, and an all around strong character. He’s an activist, a vegan and a super inspiring person. He’s extremely lovable. It’s easy to support and fall in love with his character. I wrote Jelly Bean, his sister, older in this book. She’s also a dynamic character. She has her own issues as well. The book doesn’t just focus on Jarchie, it focuses on Jelly Bean’s problems, Archie’s problems, Betty’s problems, and my OCs problems individually. Their lives all intertwine and that’s another aspect that makes the book great. The writing is good and the storylines are relatable.

Bad things: Because there are so many storylines, the book drags. I’m often left to wonder what the actual plot is. There’s no climax or end goal. It’s more like a look of the lives into each person, which isn’t a bad thing, but it causes the story to feel slow and sometimes meaningless. There are currently 19 chapters written and published, but it feels as if there’s much less because nothing has been accomplished and nothing has been destroyed yet.

Despite that, I do think it’s an entertaining read and in terms of writing, I think it’s easy to follow and easy to love.

3. Circumlocution

My readers like to call this book Hell.

I am usually a fluffy fic writer. My books do tend to have angst, problems that need to be solved that eventually work out, but this is not one of those books.

Jughead and Archie dated in high school until Archie left one day out of the blue. Jughead never got a call, never got an explanation, but was instead left to deal with his miserable life without one of the people who made it bearable. Archie comes back to Riverdale a year later, finds Jughead at a bar, and offers to take him home on a long, awkward, emotional car ride into the unknown.

Good things: the plot is amazing. There’s very few settings, the most used one being the car, so it’s easy to follow. It’s structured, the chapters flashback to a couple of years ago so the reader can piece together what happened to Jughead while Archie was gone and what happened to Archie after he left. The flashbacks give a glance to both sides of the story as the characters stay clueless to the whole truth until the very end. It’s my shortest, most consist fic, numbering in at 25 chapters and a heartfelt epilogue. The writing was done very well, every emotion is felt. The anxiousness, the tension, the hatred, and the hint of affection they both still had toward each other are displayed well. There are subtle clues dropped to allow the reader to guess what happened, and little details start to make sense at the very end.

Bad things: even with that “glowing review” there are some shortcomings I think. I’m also very picky about my own work by the way, so in reality these fics may not be as bad as I’m making them out to be.

Because there’s very few settings, I think sometimes the setting does get lost. I think the car could be described more. I think the mentions of the road could be used. Maybe I’m fussing, but there’s lots of times where there’s just conversation and the reader assumes that it’s in Archie’s truck because that’s where they last were. Still, I think there should be reminders instead of just still dialogue. For instance, how much moving around can you do in a car? The only other locations are pit stops to get food. The rest of the locations are in the flashbacks, which don’t really play a huge part to the story itself.

I also think that maybe the book is too dark at times. One thing that I hate about wattpad, is the number of dark fanfics written by 12 year olds who romanticize topics like depression and self harm. I didn’t romanticize the topics, but they’re there and I tried to be respectful and treat them with the seriousness that needed to be there. There’s physical abuse, substance abuse, self harm, it’s a lot. It’s why my readers call the book hell, because it’s a lot of emotions at once, especially when you grow so attached to two characters and grow to vouch for their relationship to work out in the end.

My favorite part of the fic is the epilogue because it shows someone reaching out, getting help, and trying to get better. Its the right approach.

My book is also called hell because of the ending... but I’m not going to spoil that for you.

I just think that the mood in the fic could be lighter in some aspects. There needs to be more breaks for happy flashbacks, or more light hearted conversation. Sometimes I feel as if the transitions are too quick. Jughead could go from yelling at Archie to slowly easing up when they reminisce about the past, but I think the shift should be more gradual. Still, in terms of plot/structure/and writing, it’s my best fic. Hands down. So why is it at number 3? Let’s see.

2. Nameless

Maybe this is where my bias steps in.

In reality, this would be tied with my number 1 choice because this is one of my favorites, though I don’t think it’s technically better than circumlocution in terms of plot. This is another book that drags on for longer than it’s supposed to.

Nameless didn’t have a name. He was 17 Years Old. He didn’t talk to anybody but his social worker. He didn’t show emotion. He spent his days reading and coming up with names until one felt right, for the boy had amnesia after a terrible accident that separated him from his parents and his old life. Archie comes around, and soon he learns to stop viewing with the world with indifference and hanging onto the past.

Good things: Characterization yet again. I’m very good at characterization. Although the Riverdale characters are not mine, I’m very good at giving them their own unique personalities to fit my plots and ideas. Nameless is obviously Jughead, but his character is so complex. My favorite thing is watching him grow as a person throughout the book. He seriously learns how to love, how to deal with people, and how to accept himself and what he has. Watching his relationship grow with his adoptive parents and his adoptive siblings is just as amazing as watching his relationship grow with Archie. I think that the writing is done well, though there is some things left unanswered in the end that I ended up explaining in my final author’s note. The plot is consistent as well.

Bad things: Like I mentioned earlier, I do think it drags on. Some scenes are definitely unnecessary and there’s some chapters that can be scraped out. There’s no reason for why there needed to be 60 chapters.

As a fanfic writer though, I think it’s safe to say that most of the time fics are filled with a lot of irrelevant chapters for fluff. They’re fillers, sure, but most people read for the fluffy scenes of a relationship. Chapters like that are also important for live updating a book. Sometimes it’s just easier to throw in a filler to give readers what they want in order to work on plot centered chapters. It’s something I’m conditioned to, but something that isn’t really a pro when writing a real book, which is something I want to do. Maybe I’m giving myself too much crap for this, but eh it’s definitely something that needs fixing.

Another thing that needs work would probably be my tendency to introduce characters and forget about them. One of my original characters, Jay, was a big part in the middle of the book, but then he slowly faded away and wasn’t brought up again until the epilogue.

1. Aberration

Here it is. My first Jarchie fanfic. My pride in joy. Look at the love this fic has been shown? My goodness. 116k. It’s probably my greatest accomplishment. This is my favorite fic and guess what?

It’s total bias.

But let me get into why this is good first. (Jughead being asexual is the best part)

This book is a coming of age story. It’s probably my only fanfic that takes place in the actual Riverdale Universe. All of my other fics are AU’s with the only connection to Riverdale being their names. It starts with Jughead and Archie at 4 years of age and goes up to age 27 with an epilogue at age 33. That being said, I can’t give you a specific plot summary because sooooo many problems arise and so many problems are solved throughout the years. It’s a glimpse of their life, and it’s beautiful.

Good things: sticking to canon. (In the beginning at least) Jughead is just as lost, confused, and edgy as he was in season one. (I say season one because Jughead in season 2 felt like a whole different character and I feel like the writers kind of ruined him. There’s such thing as character development but I think they went overboard. Anyways, that’s a different story.)

Their childhood is written as I envisioned it. There’s canon conversations, like Archie’s proposal to Betty when they were kids. It’s sweet.

Besides sticking to canon, I do a good job of sticking to parallels since there’s such a wide range of events and incidents going on. I think it shows continuity in the characters from when they were 10 to when they were 20.

Not only that, but the plot is just all around entertaining. There’s always something to aww at, something to get mad at, something to laugh at, something to cry at. It’s emotional, watching them grow up and go through all sorts of things. The problems that arise are real coming of age problems. People lose friends, make new ones, go through identity crisis, deal with loss, deal with stress, deal with home issues. It’s all there and very real. It’s raw. I love that. The character development is also amazing. Watching little kids turn into strong men and women is really interesting and fun to watch.

My favorite part is that Jughead is ASEXUAL.

I did so much research. When I found out that Jughead was supposed to be asexual in the show, I took my chance and ran with it. I did my best to represent the asexual community in this book. It’s what makes it so unique. It’s why this is my favorite. I get lots of dms about how this helped people figure out how they identify or get trough what they were feeling. I’ve put resources to the AVEN website, a safe community for asexuals. I did my best and I love the product. I love that I’ve helped people. This really is why this is my number one. Besides that representation, Kevin Keller is gay, Archie is bisexual, Liliana (my og character) is Hispanic, and my other og character, Aaron, is African American. Everyone loves my OCs in the book, especially Jackson. Representation to me is soooooo important. It’s one thing that I really nailed.

Another thing that I love about this book is that my development as a writer is so obvious. As the chapters go on, I get better and better. I start to fall into a style, and it’s so enjoyable to see that reading it again. The chapters get more descriptive, the grammar starts to improve, and the plot starts to get more complex.

However, in terms of technical aspects, it’s probably one of my worst written fics in the beginning. Still not as bad as Meadow of Flowers, but close.

Bad things: First of all, it’s written in present tense. That’s not totally against writing rules, but it’s unconventional and it’s more common for stories to be told in past tense. Again, I didn’t really know what I was doing. It was my first time writing in third person. It was my first time taking a crack at storytelling in years.

The grammar is awful. Because it’s in present tense, my tenses and verbs are sort of messed up at times. It feels awkward. And if it’s not that, it’s the fact that I for some reason can’t spell for my life. It makes for some very embarrassing typos like “he pressed a quick piss to his forehead.” I also didn’t know that whines and wines were two very different things.

...

I used wines as a verb for most of the book. If I was writing in past tense, I probably would’ve caught onto that mistake 100 chapters ago.

That’s another thing, the book is actually 100 chapters long. Despite that though, it doesn’t really drag like the other books do because there’s a new problem that comes along with every age. There’s not many dead spots, but some people do lose interest in it after the two graduate high school which is around chapter 60 I want to say? There’s a table of contents in the beginning that separates the chapters by what grade of school they’re in and by age. It’s convenient. You’ll need it if you don’t feel like sitting through elementary school Jarchie. Or maybe you don’t like college Jarchie and you want to skip to adult Jarchie. I’m telling you, it’s convenient.

But back to the grammar thing, I didn’t know that most quotes didn’t end with periods at the time, and that’s a huge problem that doesn’t get corrected until maybe my fourth book. All the dialogue had periods at the end instead of commas. For instance:

“But you said I could,” Jughead whined.

^That’s correct.

However, this is what I did:

“But you said I could.” Jughead wines.

^That basically sums up how bad the grammar is throughout.

Though technically imperfect, it’s definitely still a good read. The plot is amazing. 116k reads should tell you that it’s worth the read if you can get past those mistakes. Although I’m being hard on myself about it now, no one really noticed it. If they did, they never called me out on it. Honestly, writing on Wattpad has low expectations so just separating paragraphs correctly boosts your writing into the good category. Honestly that’s my biggest pet peeve. I used to do it too, but I can’t read a book that has huge paragraphs of dialogue without a separation between which character is saying what. It gives me headaches.

There’s tons of mistakes in this book, trust me. However, I think I’m going to leave the mistakes there. I want to look back on it, pisses instead of kisses on foreheads and all.

Anyways, I spent a good few hours writing this review and I doubt most people are going to read this but it’s going on my blog because it’s an honest evaluation.

Honorable Mention

That sixth book you see in the first image? The one with the flowers on the cover? It’s called Alphabet Jarchie and it’s my ongoing one shot book. I take a word from every letter of the alphabet and write a one shot about it. Obviously I can’t really rank it with my fics, but the one shots are helping me cut to the chase in my writing, and I think my ideas are pretty good. So if you don’t feel like sitting through my longggggg fanfics (though they are pretty enticing but this is me being harsh) you can check out my one shots.

This was fun.

DistressInDisguise x

Again, you can find my works here or under my username @DistressInDisguise on Wattpad.

#jarchie #jarchie fanfiction #jughead jones #archie andrews #riverdale fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #analysis #book review #distressindisguise #wattpad #riverdale #otp

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monasatlantis · 4 years ago

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Code - Realize Guardian of Rebirth (Review for the rest of the LIs)

I finally finished Code - Realize Guardian of Rebirth and now its time for my final review. As you might remember, I already reviewed my first route, which was Victors and now I do all 4 of the other guys and probably some light review of the game as a whole.

So... lets go.

Now let me tell you first that none of the other routes were only half as easy as Victors. As an example, I got through Lupins route until the end, but only got the normal ending because I fucked it up a few times along the way. I also got killed (almost twice) in basically the first chapter of Van Helsings route. I almost felt tricked after Victors route was so damn freaking easy and the others just weren’t.

So... lets go through the routes and start with Van Helsing:

Now in my eyes, he got the shortest end of the stuck in his route. Cardia wasn’t freed from her poison at all only in his route. Everyone else had the chance for a touch or even a kiss but him. I absolutely get that he isn’t the overly romantic type and it makes sense for his character and his story that he pushed Cardia away constantly. I get that. But I still think he would have deserved a more romantic moment with at least one “real” touch, especially for Cardias sake. I also found Van Helsings route to be the most brutal. Starting with the whole Jack the Ripper segment, were you hear the woman screaming and you just know what he is doing to her without even seeing it or getting it described it was... yeah... urg! Also I think that in all the routes, including Van Helsings route, Delly and his relationship with Van Helsing has not be explored properly. I always felt he was more a plot device then a character that got the screentime, development and all the stuff he deserved.

Okay, moving on to Impey:

Now let me tell you that he had the route I was the least interested in and I just wanted to get it over with, since his character is so far away from being my type that it was not at all in my interest to see him get together with Cardia. But at least a managed to make me laugh a few times... But Impey didn’t have it easy with me, because his route was a Nadia - the secret of Blue Water reverse - Version thingy for me somehow XD I am not joking. Nemo and his Nautilus planing to take over the world using inventions far to advanced for their time period sounded like New Atlantis to me, just with... the wrong cast XD On the other hand it seems like people from New Atlantis were trying to stop Nemo with their many but less powerful ships and Impey and Cardia were Nadia and Jean in this whole mess who funny enough, were on the side of New Atlantis this time XD No joke, it really felt like it and it was so WEIRD! That Impey was a Vampire was hidden in plain sight in Cardias route, so it didn’t surprise me at all. And they really didn’t make a big issue of it either so it wasn’t really a big plot twist to begin with. Seing how great Impey was fighting in his route I think they really did him injustice in Lupins route, because there it looked like he had to be protected all the freaking time and couldn’t really fight at all.

Now lets move on to the worst route of them all. Saint-Germain:

Now his character as itself isn’t really my type either. But I was interested in his route because he was so mysterious, and it was absolutely unclear in which direction his route would go. So I was intrigued. And then I was.. uh... disappointed is not right... but also bit wrong. Per se his story was interesting and refreshing given how different it was from the other routes but I absolutely HATE does kind of relationships if they get portrayed in the wrong way. The guy she fell in love tried to strangle her and she wasn’t even mad at him and she only started to want to run away when her survival instincts finally kicked in. This is just another version of “MC trusts her abusive boyfriend”. Look. I get it. It was supposed to be oh-so-romantic that she still trusted and loved him. But in situations like that, common-sense should come before romance. She could have been angry at him and still notice his sadness and end up with him in the end. He very first instinct should have been to run and then she could have thought that she wants to find out whats going on, because she doesn’t think Saint-Germain would do that if he wasn’t absolutely forced to. I do think tho that the magical issue with IDEA was a bit misplaced in this game were there was already so much Alchemy and Scientific stuff involved. However... it was kept in moderation so I guess it was okay. I found it funny that it was his route in which it was palpable that Lupin was in Love with Cardia as well.

And now. The one you’ve been all waiting for and working hard for... Lupin:

Even tho I really felt good in Victor route, I think with Lupin you can just feel that he is simply the one who was meant for Cardia from the beginning. Even tho the route didn’t feel as special as I was hoping for after what we had to get through to get there, it was a good route and it felt extremely right. It also managed to round up all the other routes in a nice way, while for example in Victors route, we never get to know if Saint-Germain gets a punishment for not killing Cardia, because it gets never adressed. I really also liked that all the information we got in the previous routes that we were forced to do, were at least necessary to get part of Lupins route, because otherwise it would have been nothing but tortur to get through them all XD

And finally, what I overall think about this game:

I think it was a nice Otome-Game with a variety of different characters so one that is to your taste would definitely be among them. I totally liked that with Cardias poison and all I was all sad thinking: “That means no kiss-scene” and yet we got a Kiss-Scene in ALMOST every route. It was always a nice surprise. The soundtrack and the voice-acting was very good. I liked the artwork as well. The plot was mostly interesting but had a few holes here and there. As a team I liked all the characters, just not always in their individual routes XD Cardia was okay as the MC. I’ve seen worse and I really liked that, despite technically speaking just being a lifeless doll... she actually felt like a character with character instead of being totally character and emotionless like the MC from Amnesia.

So if I had to give the games points I would give it 8 out of 10. Minus one for forcing us to doe very route to get the true, true ending and minus one for a bunch of plotholes and questionable use of certain side-characters.

Which I think is very solid for a dating simulation. So there is a “like” from me.

(PS: There were a lot of spelling mistakes, but its not the games fault so I won’t count them.)

#Mona plays Code Realize #Monas game reviews

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taegdcl1018 · 8 years ago

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3 Billion Dollars [Part 6] - G Dragon Mafia!AU

Summary: When your father owes 3 billion dollars to the mafia, he must repay his debt. Although things don’t exactly the way he hoped.

Genre: angst? a little fluffy at some parts. this low key is another chapter filler

Warning: None really here, at least I don’t think

{part 1} {part 2} {part 3} {part 4} {part 5} {part 6} {part 7} {part 8} {part 9} {part 10} {part 11} {part 12} {part 13} {part 14} {part 15} {part 16} {part 17} {part 18} {part 19} {part 20} {part 21} {part 22} {part 23}

A/N: So I’m sorry to my Kpop Fans if you see Teen Wolf stuff on your dash or my blog. It will not change, I love Teen Wolf and it has helped me through a lot. I’m sorry if this bothers you. Anyways, like always my inbox is open and I will always reply to everyone. I hope you enjoy!

~ Admin Brooklyn

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ji Yong hated mornings. He just wanted to sleep, and the clearly irritated expression on his face showed it. He had to start his day though. A meeting, then grabbing Seungri and going for a quick check up on a special talkative someone. Ji Yong raked a hand through his hair, walking out of his room and down the hall. His eyes met with Youngbae's tired ones.

“How are you doing?” Youngbae sighed rubbing his eyes with his hands. “Why the hell did you make me do this Ji Yong?”

“You were the only one that I trust and was free. Plus she knows you, maybe that’ll help her cope with this.” Youngbae nodded his head, sleep hanging in his eyes. Ji Yong looked at the door, a little anxious to see her. He needed to get his day started. He had an important meeting that he called for. No skipping this one.

“She was crying until, I think, two last night.” Youngbae’s words made Ji Yong perk up. He was paying full attention to you now. concern and a little regret on his face. Youngbae looked at him expectedly.

“I’m just gonna go in and check on her.” Ji Yong mumbled. He opened the cream door, and light flooded into the dark room. The dark colored walls turned everything into a shadow, the only other light source was the light shining from the window. As he stepped into the room, he saw you.

You were laying on your bed, the covers a mess underneath you. Ji Yong sighed deeply, grabbing your blue blanket still in its bag. He walked over and tucked you in with the blanket just the way you like it. He stopped abruptly, noticing the way you shifted into the blanket unintentionally. He stared at you, your peaceful state was heartwarming for him. It didn’t last too long when he noticed the dried tear stains on your cheeks. He frowned and rubbed his thumb over your cheek lovingly. He slowly pulled back, being careful so he wouldn’t wake you up.

“I’ll explain everything later (Y/N). Just stay alive and listen to me.” Ji Yong mumbled, brushing your hair back lightly. He sighed softly before leaving the room. Shutting the door behind him. He grabbed Youngbae and shook him awake, leaning on him a little.

“I’ll send Seungri over to watch over her for now. You go sleep. I’m gonna need you later.” Youngbae nodded his head, closing his eyes once again before rubbing them. Ji Yong nodded his head, clearing any thought of you, before getting back to work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up at noon, the sun filling the dark room. The memories of last night were unpleasant, so you chose to ignore it. It wasn’t easy though. Was it because the room that you were sleeping in was his? Maybe it was the fuzzy blue blanket that he bought for you, was pulled up over you. It could also be the fact that you're still in his clothes. They were all just things that reminded you of what happened. Your mother is dead, along with your brother. Ji Yong killed your brother. Ji Yong’s dad killed your mother. They took you away from your father. Your family planned it without you knowing. Ji Yong knew as he became your best friend. Ji Yong is in the mafia.

You groaned, just the thoughts of all of these things are just too overwhelming. You ran a hand through your hair, taking a deep breath. Your head shot up to the sound of your door opening. Your eyes widened, not wanting anyone to see you. A man stepped into your room. He looked so familiar, but you just couldn’t figure out who it was. He had platinum blonde hair and wore dark clothing. It wasn’t until he gave you a signature smile that you recognized who it was.

“Lee Seunghyun?!” You questioned. He gave you a sheepish smile and waved awkwardly. He stepped closer as you gave him wide eyes. “Morning (Y/N). Well, good afternoon at least.”

“Is everyone from high school in the mafia?” You groaned. He was your best friend, well after Ji Yong he was. You met each other through Ji Yong, and he was there for you ever since that fateful lunch block. Whenever Ji Yong left you unexpectedly for his work, which was starting to make more sense now, Seungri was always there to cheer you up.

“Technically speaking I was here before I was in high school.” You stared at him in shock. He chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. “Anyways, you were supposed to eat a few hours ago, but I didn’t want to wake you up. We can go down to the kitchen now if you would like?”

“Ummm,” you didn’t exactly know what to say. Seungri was never like this around you. He was always playful and witty. It was different to see this side of him, and it made you a little nervous. “Okay?”

“Wonderful!” Seungri seemed to pick up his attitude. A wide cheerful smile appearing on his face. He smirked quickly a sly expression on his face. “You might want to get changed first.”

A blush crept onto your face as you rolled your eyes and threw a pillow at him. He giggled and left the room in a rush, wanting to avoid your aim. You sighed, getting up from your messy bed. The growling of your stomach made you realize how hungry you were. You did a quick stretch, a weird screech like groan left your lips as you did so. You face contorted in confusion, only to brush it off and continue with changing your clothes. Switching from Ji Yong’s baggy clothes to your own baggy sweats wasn’t much of a change. The only difference was the loss of his scent on your clothing, but being that he practically lives here meant that his scent lingered everywhere.

You stepped outside of your room timidly, looking out for Seungri. Not a second later did his face pop into your view. A cheerful smile was on his face. You gave him the best smile you could give. He held his arm out for you, and you smiled before linking your arms together. He leads you away from your cream colored door, towards what assumed was the kitchen.

He leads you down multiple hallways. As you got farther away from your room the silence that surrounded your room started to go away. The sound of people talking, hurried footsteps, and the occasional sound of a gun reloading, filled the building. Seungri leads you past people. They all stared you down, each with different looks. Some looked at you with curiosity, it was very rare to see a girl with sweats on in the mafia. Most girls were either strippers or wore the shortest clothes to get what they want. Others stared at you with interest. Some wanted you, others wanted to power that you possibly had.

There were rumors about a girl that the great G Dragon brought in yesterday night. About the fuss that he made when she saw strippers fucking some men. The extra precautions he took for her. Almost everyone in the building knew about how you got here, and about how much you meant to their boss, G Dragon. It meant that you had power over him, and that was dangerous for you. Seungri noticed your discomfort with the looks that you were receiving, so he placed a hand on your back and pushed you to move faster. You looked down, wanting to avoid any eye contact with these people.

“Here we are!” Seungri said, leading you away from the people and into a big kitchen. The walls were cream colored just like everything else. The chairs were cream, the island counter was cream colored, even the granite seemed to be cream. There was a huge fridge that seemed to be two times bigger than you. Seungri opened up the fridge and started to give you breakfast options.

“What do you want? We have cereal, waffles, toast, ice cream.” Seungri listed. You raised your eyebrow questioningly at his last option. He turned to you and jokingly smiled at your confused expression.

“What? Nobody else but Seunghyun hyung will eat it, and he’ll eat it all. Gotta eat it early.” He said. You smiled lightly at his playful manner. You liked it. It seemed to brighten your mood that at least someone hasn’t dramatically changed their attitude. “So what do you want (Y/N)?”

“What kind of ice cream is it?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“He is out there somewhere. We have to do something.” Kang Seung Yoon said. Ji Yong ran a hand through his hair, trying to clear his head and think things through. He remembered that you would always run your hands through his hair whenever he was stressed. It always seemed to do the trick. Right now he needed it.

“Obviously we have to do something, otherwise Ji Yong wouldn’t have called you.” Seunghyun said. Everyone looked to Ji Yong. He had called for this meeting. He called some of his closest allies and friends. 2ne1, a group of girls who lead a neighboring gang. Winner, with Seung Yoon as their leader. iKon, with B.I. as their leader, also lead a gang with some territory. The newest addition was Black Pink. They were new and it was obvious.

“So Ji Yong, what do you want to do?” CL, the leader of 2ne1, asked. He looked at her. They were close, and she could see not only the lack of sleep in his eyes but also the stress that he carried with him. He sighed leaning against his chair.

“Well let’s go over what we know about him, then what we can assume.” His words seemed to hang in the room. Nobody really knew Flynn too well. He just seemed to pop up a few years ago. He looked around. Everyone remained silent, either not willing to give info or having no info to share. “I’ll go first then.”

“He’s been after everything that we’ve been working for. Everything, land, weapons, money. We don’t know really know why, but we know that he’s been attacking areas.” Ji Yong started, waiting for someone to pick up. Thankfully someone in Winner did.

“The first time we got an attack from his was roughly four years ago.” Song Mino. Ji Yong knew him. He was told that Mino was the mini him, Ji Yong couldn’t exactly see it though. “He took a few guns off of some of our people he killed. We tried going after him, it didn’t work.”

“He seems to vanish whenever we try looking for him.” Seung Yoon finished Mino’s thoughts. Ji Yong nodded his head, looking down at the table. Four years ago. You were in college, so he shouldn’t know you.

“Something is obviously bugging you,” CL said. Ji Yong looked up at her. She had this stern expression on, but she still managed to show that she cared as well. She looked at him expectantly. “You can tell us oppa. Not like we aren’t your friends.”

Ji Yong laughed lightly. He raised an eyebrow at her, questioning her playfully. She raised one back, but hers was sassier. Seunghyun cleared his throat. Ji Yong looked at him, who clearly was getting agitated at the lack of progress as well.

“Might as well say something. Better not hide it from people who can help.” He said. He knew what was on Ji Yong’s mind, and he knew that Ji Yong is hesitant to share info on his princess. Ji Yong sighed and looked down at the dark wood table.

“You remember (Y/N), right Chae Lin?” She nodded her head, confused slightly at why he mentioned you. He looked up at her, watching her as her expression changed. Her confusion went to slight shock and a small amount of excitement.

“She’s back from college?” Ji Yong nodded his head solemnly. He remembers how close you were to Chae Lin, but he knows you’ll be upset when you find out about her and the mafia. She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

“She finished school about a few weeks ago, got back home last week. We picked her up yesterday. She isn’t exactly happy with me right now.” Everyone else was confused. The only people who seemed to know what was going on were Chae Lin, the rest of 2ne1, Ji Yong, and Seunghyun.

“She’s been mad at you plenty of times, no matter what stupid thing you’ve done. Why are you worried about it now?” Chae Lin looked at Ji Yong skeptically. He was about to say something when B.I. spoke up first. “Who is (Y/N)? Why is she so important?”

“She’s somebody you probably won’t meet.” Ji Yong said harshly at him. B.I. sunk into his chair, as Ji Yong sighed again. “She’s important due to something that happened twenty plus years ago. Okay? She’s important now because she’s linked to me personally. It now makes her a target.”

“So why does this have to do with Flynn?” Mino asked. Seunghyun sighed and rubbed a hand through his hair. “The night we brought (Y/N), we had a deal with Flynn. He would bring back a few of our men for a few guns. It didn’t work out cause he left the building roughly the same time we picked up (Y/N).”

“That could just be a coincidence.” Taehyun, the maknae of Winner, said. Ji Yong looked up at him. His sharp eyes almost glaring at him. “Of course I thought that it could be, but I’d rather make sure I stop him from hurting her.”

“I have a question.” Jisoo finally spoke up. Ji Yong looked at her almost surprised. She hesitated, waiting to make sure it was okay for her to speak. Ji Yong waved his hand, letting her know that she could speak freely.

“He showed up four years ago right?” Jisoo asked for confirmation. B.I. nodded his head. The table was silent, content on waiting for what she has to say. “And that girl, (Y/N), she was in college right? What if they knew each other in college?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been weeks since your first full day in this house. Each day you were stuck in your bedroom, with books, a sketchbook, your music, and the boys to keep you company. Usually, Seungri or Daesung would be the ones to keep you company. Occasionally Youngbae and Seunghyun came in to talk and watch over you. Ji Yong never showed up though, and you didn’t know if you were happy about it or not. It’s not like you particularly love his actions and his choices at the moment, but he did have answers that you wanted. You were distracted by them each day thanks to Seungri.

Ji Yong wasn’t having a very relaxing month compared to yours. He was stressed to no end with Flynn. What Jisoo brought up was shot down immediately, people saying that someone in the mafia doesn’t go to college. Although it was true, people in the mafia don’t go to college, he couldn’t help but think that there is a small chance. He’d have to bring it up with you though, and he knows that you still aren’t happy with him. He’ll have to figure things out first before he could do anything.

Currently, you were reading your favorite book, laying on your bed. Ji Yong’s cat cuddled up against your side. The cat purred as you pet it, soft noises emitting from its mouth. Everything was pretty calm considering the situation you were still in. A knock sounded on your door.

“Come in.” You carelessly say, expecting Seungri or Daesung to open the door with a pizza. But this time, both the older and the younger Seunghyun stepped up with Mr. Kwon in between them.

“Look at you, already adjusted to your new life.” Mr. Kwon said. The two boys stood behind him on either side. They were quiet and looked very stiff, almost as if someone was holding a gun to their heads. Mr. Kwon looked at you, an amused look on his face. Honestly, Ji Yong took a lot after him, and that expression was one that you saw on him at times. Although whenever Ji Yong gave you that look it was more playful.

“Well almost adjusted. That’s where I come in princess. So get up, we’re going to make sure you know what exactly you’ll have to do to survive here.”

#gdragon #gdragonxreader #g dragon scenarios #G Dragon #g dragon angst #g dragon imagine #g dragon reactions #big bang #bigbang #big bang scenarios #big bang reactions #big bang g dragon #kpop #kpop scenarios #mafia #mafia au #g dragon mafia

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artificialqueens · 8 years ago

Text

My loneliness is killing you (Vatya) /Part 5/ - Polly

Authors note: Fun fact; I accidentally deleted parts of this chapter and never got them back so this was a good fast one for me until that but I ended up frustrated because of that mishap. So sorry of there are more typos than usual. Fun Fact: this chapter has twice as many words as the shortest Milky chapter. Anyyway, I hope you will all enjoy this! xx (remember when Pt. 4 didnt have trigger warnings?)

Summary: Katya and Violet are trophy wives who killed their husbands and are now together.

//Part 1// Part 2// Part 3// Part 4//

TW: mentioned murder, mentioned abuse, mentioned domestic violence, mentioned past alcoholism, corrupting another with drugs

After

Violet walked into the hotel lobby and looked back over her shoulder to thank the door man, causing her to lightly bump into someone. The man shifted slightly to look at her and Violet immediately recognized him from the courtroom. David’s father.

He was talking to Katya and Violet looked at her with wide eyes for a moment. She hadn’t thought that she would even see Katya again before they would reunite in France. But they had known that they were staying in the same hotel so maybe a run in had been inevitable.

Katya’s hair looked lighter again, it seemed like she had used the days after the the verdict had been announced to touch up her roots.

Violet couldn’t believe that the verdict had been finalized and that technically they were free now. Katya was actually standing in close proximity to her somewhere other than a courtroom and yet there was nothing she could do about it while they were in public.

“I think an apology would be appreciated,” David’s father spoke.

“Oh, of course. I am sorry. After you.” Violet gestured vaguely in front of herself and smiled at him as politely as she could while also trying to not look at Katya.

She was pretty sure that he recognized her from the courtroom but he didn’t say anything. He just huffed and started walking, Katya following him suit. Before she had started walking however she had looked at Violet with a barely noticeable smile but it made Violet’s heart soar nonetheless.

Violet had been missing Katya dearly for the past months while only getting to see her in the courtroom.

It was a strange sensation. She was missing someone that was right there.

The stress of the investigation had at least helped her to distract herself massively from her longing for Katya but now that most of that was behind them her feelings had been all over the place. She had been worrying about how things between her and Katya would be, if her feelings would be the same, if their move to France would work out and most of all if Katya was alright.

Violet walked behind Katya and watched her hair swing with her every step. She found herself on the same elevator as them and looked on as Katya pushed the button for the 18th floor and turned around to Violet.

“Which one do you need?” It was weird to have Katya speaking to her again, that hadn’t been part of the plan and Violet could tell that it was throwing off Katya too.

“The same one. Thanks,” she said while smiling at Katya with a what she hoped would be interpreted as a polite smile by David’s father. For him it was supposed to look like her and Katya had been friends but had stopped talking to each other when David’s and Christian’s business deal had fallen through. At least that was the official storyline they were going with.

They got out of the elevator and Violet observed how Katya opened the door to a room that was very close to her own. She walked past them into her own room, closed the door behind herself and sat down on the bed. Her mind was racing. Katya was on the same floor as her. Only three rooms away from her. Neither of their rooms close to the security cameras filming the entry to the stairwell or the elevator.

Violet spent the next hours organizing the few clothes and make up items she had with her. She would have to go back to the apartment sooner or later. But the case had only been closed three days ago and Violet had only been allowed back into the apartment since today. She had meant to go there today but then Christian’s ex-wife and their kids had invited her for the most awkward lunch of Violet’s life after Christian’s will had been read.

She glanced at her phone. 9 pm. She walked towards the window and looked outside, thinking about a few rooms down Katya had the same view of the city.

Violet started walking towards the door, thinking about how she shouldn’t. They were not supposed to see each other until Marseille, just to be safe. But there was no police, no cameras, no one who would know around.

She was usually strong willed but the past weeks had been so stressful and emotionally draining and she just had to know that Katya was okay.

And then there she was, opening the door. And her blonde hair was wet and she was only in a bathrobe. But she was here. They were both here and there were no cameras or judges or detectives around and Violet leaped into Katya’s arms, vaguely noticing Katya pushing the door shut before wrapping her arms tightly around Violet.

Violet pressed her entire body against Katya’s, pulling her as close as possible and her wet hair was unpleasantly cold and she must have started using a different shampoo because she smelled different but this was Katya. Katya. Katya. Katya.

Violet tried to get even closer, pressing her face painfully hard into Katya’s neck and feeling tears leaving her eyes. It felt like all the tension and stress was slowly falling from her.

She felt Katya’s hand stroking over Violet’s back over and over again, almost like as if she had to make sure that she was really there.

“I was hoping that you would be dumb enough to come here.” Katya’s voice was muffled by Violet’s shoulder but she could practically hear the smile anyway.

Violet softly pushed away from Katya to look at her, moving her hand over the wet trail the tears had left on her face.

“Are you okay?” Katya whispered while her hand softly stroked over Violet’s bottom lip. Violet smiled at her and just nodded. Katya let out a relieved breath and she was really here and she was so beautiful.

She moved her face back into Katya’s neck and pulled her closer again, not wanting to let go yet.

“How are you?” Violet whispered against Katya’s skin. She had been so worried about Katya and whether she was safe. Katya not being okay had slowly but surely been consuming Violet’s every thought for the past three days. She had been obsessing over Katya possibly crying herself to sleep, of the guilt getting to her, of her starting to drink again, of her not taking care of herself.

“I am fine.” Katya’s voice still had a smile in it and Violet felt herself soften into the hug.

She was fine. She was fine. She was fine.

Before

The next morning Katya didn’t come down for breakfast and Violet wasn’t sure if she should be asking David about it but before she could make a decision Maureen started talking.

“Will Katya not be eating?” She directed at David. There was a slight pause before he answered.

“She isn’t feeling well. She needs to rest,” and Violet looked at Maureen who just smiled and nodded.

“Well, let’s hope she will get better soon,” she said before continuing with her search for her sunglasses in her bag.

Violet however looked at David. Where Maureen didn’t pick up the weird tone in David’s voice Violet certainly did. She stared at him and noticed that he was trying to avoid her gaze.

She sat in the kitchen, her hands around a hot cup of coffee, and watched as the others were getting ready for their day of skiing.

“Violet, darling,” Lilian cooed while standing by the door. “You should really learn how to ski so you can come.”

Violet politely smiled. “Maybe I will next time. Have fun.” She waved after her when she started walking towards the car and kept on waving until the cars started moving. Once they had left the premise she slammed the door shut and ran up the stairs to burst into Katya’s and David’s room without knocking.

Katya’s back was turned towards her but something told Violet that she was not asleep.

“Katya?” She whispered, not getting a reaction. She walked towards the bed and put a hand on Katya’s shoulder and kneeled down next to the bed.

Katya shuffled lightly, the blanket up to her face, and turned around to face Violet. “Hey,” she whispered weakly. She looked so tired.

Violet pushed some hair out of her face and looked at her concerned. “Are you…. will you be okay?”

Katya let out a bitter laugh. “I’ll be fine, Violet.” And the way she said her name sent a shiver down Violet’s spine but not in a good way. She didn’t know how to reply so they just looked at each other for a moment; Katya with a blank expression and Violet with furrowed brows.

“Do you want to come downstairs? I’ll make you coffee and maybe we could watch a movie or something?” She tried to speak in a gentle voice and stroked over Katya’s hair again while she waited for her to answer.

Katya blinked at Violet. “Maybe later.”

Violet let out a sigh. “Alright. Well, I’ll be downstairs.” Katya just nodded and turned back around. Violet stood back up and walked towards the door, turning around to look back once she reaches it but Katya still has her back turned to Violet.

She had just started cleaning the kitchen since there really wasn’t anything better to do when she heard footsteps on the stairs. A few moments later Katya was hugging Violet from behind and her face was against Violet’s back and Violet can feel her hot breath against her skin.

She put her hand on top of Katya’s and interlaced their fingers for a moment. “Let’s watch a movie. I’ll make coffee.“

While Violet had made the coffee, Katya had gotten them blankets, had seated herself down on the sofa and had pulled her hair up into a loose. Violet almost dropped the cups when she saw her neck. It was almost completely red, some places more so than others and Violet could basically watch the bruises building.

She placed the cups on the table and sat down next to her. “What happened?”

Katya gave her a side glance. “You know what happened.“ She huffed when she saw Violet’s face. „ Don’t look so surprised, I saw the bruises on you yesterday."

She pushed Violets shorts up a bit and put her hand down on Violet’s leg, each finger resting on a small bruise. But Katya’s hands were smaller than Christian’s so it looked like there were deep purple outlines around her fingers and Violet had to suppress the urge to push her hand off.

„Well, it’s not like he’s trying to kill me though.”

“He wasn’t trying to kill me! And at least David isn’t forcing his dick into my vagina.” Violet blinked at Katya surprised for a moment, she didn’t know how Katya had gotten that idea. She moved away from her slightly.

“It’s not… it’s not like that. He’s my husband.”

Katya threw her hands up in surrender. “So? Doesn’t make it okay.” She gestured between Violets leg and her own neck. “None of this is okay.”

“Well, what are you gonna do about it, sweetie pie?” Violet let out in an annoyed voice. She didn’t know why she was acting so defensive, her battle wasn’t with Katya. But every time Christian’s body was looming over her own she felt so small and defeated. And she wasn’t doing anything about it and she was so angry at herself for it. But somehow that anger was directing itself at Katya. Who did she think she was to judge Violet for her actions, or rather non-actions when she herself wasn’t doing anything either.

Katya let out a frustrated groan before dragging her hands over her face. “Just for the record. There’s a lot of things I would like to do about it.”

Violet let out a defeated sigh. “But you’re not gonna.”

“No. I’m not.” They both stared ahead and didn’t say anything and Violet was frustrated because she didn’t want to be reminded about her marriage and she was worried about Katya and sad because she didn’t want to spend the few hours she had with her with fighting.

She lifted the corner of the blanket Katya was under up and pressed her body to Katya’s.

“Sorry,“ she softly said after a moment and Katya let out another sigh before placing her arm around Violet, pulling her closer.

“It’s not your fault, Violet.“ Her voice was soft but she looked deep in thought. Violet let out a sigh. There really was a lot of sighing today.

“I just hope that Christian will be too exhausted for sex again. He was yesterday and it was awesome,“ Violet said. Katya smiled at her while stroking through Violet’s hair.

“Just tell him that you have a vaginal yeast infection.“ Violet looked up at her with big eyes before considering it. That might actually work. Christian already freaked out when Violet said anything about her period. He was pretty disgusted by vaginas if he couldn’t use them for sex. And even then Violet couldn’t recall a time he hadn’t just mindlessly hammered his penis inside her. It wasn’t sex to her, it was merely a chore.

“At least I don’t have to worry about that with David,“ Katya continued.

“How come?“ Violet asked while her hand rested on Katya’s stomach.

“I put testosterone blockers in his food.“

“What?!“ Violet moved her head from Katya’s chest and was looking her into the eyes.

“He can’t get an erection anymore. It’s pretty convenient. Plus it makes him feel emasculated which is just an added bonus.“ She explained it like it wasn’t her corrupting him with drugs and Violet wasn’t sure why Katya shared the fact that she committed a felony with her. But Violet had seen the dark bruises on Katya’s hip bones and upper legs. She softly stroked over them.

“Seems fair,“ she said before pressing a small kiss to Katya’s lips.

#my loneliness is killing you #vatya #polly #au #lesbian au #katya zamolodchikova #violet chachki #tw murder mention #tw abuse mention #tw alcoholism mention #tw domestic abuse #tw corrupting someone with drugs #rpdr fanfiction #submission

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