#still i tell myself that I only want a passing grade

[durchdenspiegel]

29.04.2024

After the stress of writing my first draft, somehow the editing still feels a bit daunting. I still have a few unfinished sentences I need to figure out as well as my conclusion… but even if it feels different, the worst is really over 🌸

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

[nanasrealities]

"I ALREADY HAVE MY DESIRES.ᐟ"

Even if you can't see it, it's still there !! Being out of sight, doesn't mean out of existence—searching for proof will only cloud your reality.

Think of it this way: You're already in your dream reality, just peacefully asleep. This? This isn't your true world. And clinging to it? That won’t lead you to where you truly belong.

Imagine driving a car at night. You can’t see your destination yet, but you trust the road will take you there. If you kept stopping every few seconds, checking the map, doubting whether you're on the right path… you’d never get anywhere, would you?

"But Nana, I'm tired of the same old advice on Tumblr, all it makes me do is doubt myself ( • ᴖ • ｡)."

It's okay to have doubts, I mean, it is human nature to question if something is attainable or if you really deserve it. The truth is, however, those doubts aren't going away unless you expose yourself to them. Let yourself doubt, don't block them out: it's unhealthy. Instead, let them pass through, shutting them down once you've felt you have had enough. You have the power to drive the doubts away, lovey—don't let your anxiety take the steering wheel because it wants you to crash. It's not here to protect you, no matter what it wants to tell you, it's here to rob you from experiences you undoubtedly deserve. Take this from someone who, up until now, was afraid of taking to people online, anonymously, because she was convinced no one would like her...

Instead of believing the parasite clouding your perspective, question it: 'why shouldn't I get this outcome?' 'I'm worthy of having my desires, why should I be convinced otherwise?'

Let go of doubt, stop looking for proof, and just be the version of yourself who has shifted, has the grades, the money, the looks. Whatever you desire is already here, don't let yourself be proved otherwise. The moment you stop grasping, stop chasing, and simply assume it’s already yours, it has no choice but to reflect back to you. The reality you crave isn’t something you need to beg for—it’s something that unfolded the moment you assumed it, you just need to lock tf in (I say this playfully), interrogate those doubts—that feed on negativity, by the way— like you're a detective questioning a suspect, wake up from that dreadful dream you had the misfortune of having, and enjoy your desires that were handed to you on a silver platter.

xoxo, nana ᡣ𐭩

[saatorus]

she won't go away— a sukuna fic

art creds to to_0fu (twitter/x)

pairing — college sukuna! x reader

synopsis — of all the people in your chemistry course, you get stuck with ryomen sukuna—the most insufferable, arrogant asshole on campus. he barely does any work, runs his mouth like it’s a sport, and somehow manages to make your life even more exhausting than it already is. if this project doesn’t kill you, he just might.

teaser wc — 1.8k (long for a teaser but i'm desensitised to any word count below like 100k words)

actual wc — 20-25k (gonna try and force myself to stick to this and not go into the 30s..)

tag list status — open!

warnings — explicit sexual content!!! sukuna being an absolute vile dick and saying questionable shit (i need him to be at least a lil canon compliant), mentions of reader and sukuna telling each other to go die, reader not being meek and letting him walk all over her, mentions of feeling insecure, multiple crash outs, angst?? will add more as i go along!

“That ‘little homework’ is forty five percent of our grade,” you bite out.

“Don’t give a fuck,” he grunts, sounding bored.

You inhale deeply. “So, I was thinking—”

But he groans, dragging a tattooed hand down his face. “Are we seriously doing this now?”

“Yes, we’re seriously doing this now,” you snap.

He exhales sharply through his nose, glaring. “God, you’re fucking annoying.”

You’re not sure whether you should be offended or hurt. On one hand, obviously as a normal human being, being spoken to like this from a person you’re quite literally talking to for the first time is bound to hurt your feelings. On the other hand, this guy’s dickhead personality is kind of well known through your university. Your grip on your pen tightens, but you keep your voice even.

 “I’m annoying because I want to pass?”

”You’re annoying because you talk way too fuckin’ much.”

 That stings more than you’d like to admit.

You grit your teeth, ignoring the way your stomach tightens, and push forward anyway. “If we divide the research today, we won’t have to meet up as often,” you say, firmly. “I assume you’ll want to do as little work as possible, so let’s just—”

“Holy shit.” Sukuna pushes his chair back with a loud scrape, fixing you with an exasperated look. “Do you ever shut up?”

You blink, stunned.

Toji snickers.

“Oh, come on,” Sukuna scoffs, throwing up a hand. “You’re gonna sit there all wide-eyed like I just kicked your fuckin’ puppy? You started it.”

Your fingers twitch against the table.

“Started what?” you ask, voice dangerously calm.

“This whole thing—acting like I’m some bum ass delinquent who needs a babysitter.” His eyes narrow. “If you wanna play boss, go find some other loser to be a bitch to.”

Your patience snaps. “Or you could just not be a lazy asshole. Do you lack brain cells? You’ve seriously told me to shut up like 5 times in the span of about ten minutes. Do you have a problem where you can’t focus?”

The air between you shifts.

Sukuna’s jaw tics. His expression darkens, something sharp flashing through his eyes, but then his lips pull into something crueler than a smirk—something with edges, something dangerous.

“You think I’m lazy? Got somethin’ wrong with me because I can’t take your nerdy bitching?” he asks, voice low.

You hesitate, but only for a second. “Glad you have the ability to comprehend what I said.”

That makes him grin. “And you think I’m an asshole?”

“Yes.”

He hums, tilting his head. Then he leans forward, just slightly, elbows resting on the table. His voice drops into something smug, mocking—

“Then why the fuck are you still talking to me?”

Your blood boils.

What the fuck is his problem?

You lean forward too, matching him, refusing to shrink under his gaze. “Because I have to, dumbass,” you snap. “I tried to change my group. I begged. I offered to do extra credit. I would have written a whole goddamn thesis if it meant not sitting across from you—but guess what?” You gesture sharply between you. “I’m stuck with you.”

Sukuna raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Tragic.”

You let out a frustrated breath, gripping the edge of the table so hard your knuckles turn white. “So, as much as I’d love to pretend you don’t exist—”

“Then do it,” he interrupts, tone dry.

You blink. “What?”

“If you wanna pretend I don’t exist, go ahead,” he drawls, leaning back lazily. “Do the whole project yourself. You’ll probably enjoy it, since you’re clearly getting off on playing group leader.”

“Oh, my god.” You clench your fists, barely restraining yourself. “Why are you such a dickhead? Parents not teach you basic respect?”

“Because you don’t shut the fuck up,” he snaps, finally looking genuinely irritated.

Your lips part, incredulous. “I’m literally just trying to do the fucking project? Like any normal human being?”

“No, you’re trying to control shit,” Sukuna says flatly. “Like this is some big deal—like I haven’t passed a million of these useless classes already.”

You stare at him. “You think this is useless?”

He smirks. “Yeah.”

Oh, you hate him.

“Some of us actually give a shit about our grades, Sukuna.”

“You know my name? Cute.”

You inhale sharply through your nose, trying to stay calm, trying not to launch your textbook at his stupid, perfect face. “I don’t care how many classes you’ve passed,” you say, voice taut. “You’re doing this one with me. I care about this project. And if I have to suffer through working with you, you can at least pretend to give a shit.”

He tilts his head, mockingly thoughtful. “Mm. No.”

You exhale slowly, trying—failing—to stop your hands from curling into fists.

“I swear to god—”

“What, huh?” he cuts in, voice dripping with condescension. “You gonna whine to the professor again?” He lets out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “Pathetic.”

Your jaw tightens.

He grins, like he’s won something. Like he’s getting exactly what he wants—like this is a game to him, something to toy with, something to waste his time on.

And you refuse to let him win.

So, you straighten your spine, lift your chin, and meet his gaze without flinching.

“Fine,” you say, voice steely. “If you want to half-ass this, be my guest. Just don’t expect me to pick up your slack.”

Sukuna watches you, amused, as if he’s waiting for you to crack.

When you don’t, he smirks.

“We’ll see.”

You inhale sharply, forcing yourself to keep your voice level.

“Well, unfortunately for you,” you say stiffly, “you actually have to do your share.”

Sukuna snorts. “Says who?”

“The professor.” You cross your arms. “Since apparently, students have been slacking on group projects, we have to submit proof of collaboration—meeting logs, progress updates, actual proof that we’re working together.”

His expression darkens.

You fight the urge to smirk. Suffer.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” he mutters.

“Nope.” You press your lips together, trying to hold back your pure satisfaction. “So, congratulations, Sukuna. You have to meet up with me at least once a week.”

He exhales sharply through his nose, glaring at you like you’re personally ruining his life. “You’re telling me I have to sit through this shit every week?”

“Yep.”

“You specifically?”

“Yep.”

Sukuna groans, dragging a hand through the unruly pink strands of his hair. Then, just as you’re about to remind him that this is literally his problem for being a shit student, he lifts his head—eyes raking over you in a slow, lazy once-over.

And then, he smirks.

You freeze.

“What?” you snap, immediately on edge.

His smirk widens.

“Nah, I was just thinking,” he drawls, tipping his head back against his chair. “If you were hotter, this would be way less painful.”

Your stomach drops.

The words hit you like a slap, and for a second, all you can do is sit there, stunned, completely caught off guard by how casual—how easy—it is for him to say something like that.

Like it’s just true.

Like it’s a fact.

Your fingers dig into your sleeve.

And the worst part? It’s not even the insult itself that stings—it’s the sheer, blatant dismissal. The fact that he looks at you and immediately decides you’re not worth even pretending to be interested in. As if you were hoping for his attention. As if you were seeking his approval.

You clench your jaw.

“Yeah?” you say, voice flat, emotionless. “Well, if you were smarter, I wouldn’t have to carry your useless ass through this class.”

His grin falters, just barely, but you see it—and for once, it’s your turn to smirk.

You lean forward, matching his posture, tilting your head mockingly.

“Guess we’re both disappointed, huh?”

For a moment, Sukuna just stares at you.

And you don’t miss the way his jaw tightens, how his fingers twitch against the table like he’s fighting the urge to rip you apart.

Good.

Then—he exhales sharply through his nose, tipping his chair back slightly, acting unfazed even though you saw the flicker of irritation in his eyes. “Damn,” he muses, voice slow, dragging. “Didn’t know you had a mouth on you.”

“Yeah?” You tilt your head. “Didn’t know you gave a shit.”

Sukuna scoffs. “I don’t.”

“Then shut the fuck up and do your work.”

He lets out a low, mean laugh, running a hand through his hair. “You’re lucky I’m feeling generous today.”

“Generous?” You nearly choke. “You’ve been nothing but a dick since the moment I sat down.”

He shrugs, unbothered. “Could be worse.”

Oh, you want to strangle him.

Instead, you inhale sharply through your nose, pressing your palms flat against the table before forcing yourself to stay on track. “Whatever,” you say, shaking your head. “Here’s the deal: we have to meet at least once a week. I don’t care where. I don’t care when. But we need to get the work done, and I need proof that you were actually present—because if we don’t, we both fail.”

Sukuna glares at you, as if the very concept of responsibility offends him.

“Fucking hell,” he mutters, dragging a hand down his face again. “You’re really gonna be a hardass about this, huh?”

You raise an eyebrow. “You don’t care about failing?”

“Not really.”

Your eyes narrow. “Then why are you even in this class?”

At this, he finally drops his chair back down onto all four legs, leaning in slightly. “Let’s get one thing straight,” he says, voice lower, more serious. “I don’t need this shit. I’m here because my old man thinks I should at least pretend to give a fuck about college.” He smirks, sharp and taunting. “But don’t get it twisted—I don’t actually give a fuck.”

You pause, studying him, trying to piece together the weight behind his words.

Of course, you know he comes from money. Everyone does. The Ryomen family name carries weight, old money, power, prestige—so it makes sense that college, for him, is just some bullshit obligation rather than a means to a future.

Still, something about the way he says it—how bitter it sounds—sticks with you.

Not that you care.

You roll your eyes. “Right. Got it. Poor little rich boy.”

His smirk drops.

For a second, there’s silence.

Then—

“You know what?” Sukuna says, voice eerily calm. “Fine. I’ll meet up with you.”

You blink, a little thrown off by how easily he gives in.

“…Okay?”

“But.” His gaze darkens, and the corner of his mouth twitches, almost like he’s daring you to argue. “You work around my schedule.”

Your stomach twists with irritation. “That’s not—”

“Not my problem,” he cuts in smoothly, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t do morning meetups. I don’t do last-minute bullshit. And if you start bitching about how I ‘don’t take this seriously,’” he mocks, voice lilting high, “I will walk out and leave you with an automatic fail. Or whatever the fuck happens to your grade if the other person doesn’t do their part. Got it?”

Your blood boils.

But what can you do? You already tried to get reassigned.

So, through gritted teeth, you say, “Fine.”

Sukuna smirks.

“Good girl.”

a/n: very overused trope but i love college au sukuna. sorry for making him a total asshole but i promise character development!!!!! i looove a good enemies to lovers, as seen with my take on nerdjo lolol!!! also yes this fic is based on "she won't go away" by faye webster and yes this song and it's lyrics will be making a cameo in my fic heheh... hope you all liked the teaser!!

[i-have-rabies-dw]

This is what the executive order banning all gender affirming care for those under 19 is called. Oh these fucks. They hope for the deaths of so many Americans, rub their tiny little hands together praying for a bunch of trans teenagers grow so disgusted with themselves and so caged by their bodies they fucking kill themselves. I cannot describe my anger. It doesn't matter if I expected it.

Rant below

It does matter, to me, that was how long I was forced to wait in my red area, though I can't describe the depths of hell I went through, I could not describe the levels of dehumanization, to feel like a stray dog beneath every one of your peers and family members, desperate for love and acceptance by just one person to find the only way would be a noose. I could tell you how much it causes you to disconnect yourself, to view yourself as something other than human, to view human's as a violent hateful creature, breeding, spreading, and trading violence like a disease. How it would be utterly repulsive to be like them. So narrow minded, so unwilling to accept someone for such minor differences.

I didn't know what transgender meant or was until 8th grade. In 4th, I got access to the Internet for the first time, with it, I made my first representation of myself no one in my physical life could interfere with. I forget the name I went by, but I was thought to be a boy by everyone online who spoke to me. I kept it that way, even once they got to know me, it was right. In my younger years, I had no friends, never did I have a kindergarten or elementary best friend, I didn't know it was normal to sit with a group of friends until I read Harry Potter in middle school. Ha, and never did I ever have that group of friends to sit with. I was a loner to the most extreme example of that term, none of it was by choice. I even dropped out of high school and graduated in an alternative way because I couldn't stand being friend to no one, enemy to more than necessary for never speaking. Before that, at during lunch and "recess," I sat between the wall to the staff bathroom and a large paper rack that sat in the hallway, I did this until I aged out of that building. With dropping out, I did it immediately after coming out as trans and finding that suddenly, all my peers felt more justified taking licks at me. No one person respected it at the time, and I got kicked already for coming out as trans months prior and a bunch of drama because of that (mistake #1 never come out to your family first). I was an optimistic child. I was an extroverted child, excited and enthusiastic about the world. I was kind to all. Then I met the world and saw no one like me in it.

Also, another thing, a lot of transfems and transmascs have fatal rates of anorexia or restrictive eating(asides the inherent body issues that come with it), both in attempts to pass as their gender and, my speculation and projection, self punishment. I was well below 100 pounds for years, and I'm a tall guy.

I laugh in the face of transphobes, I don't think they could survive.

My AM like monolog/vent overrrits.

Almost

Sometimes I wonder, if when I first came if I had acceptance, what would have been different with acceptance from even some of the family? The reason I came out to my family is I needed to socially transition with family and peers IRL before the doctors wanted discuss it further with me as a minor, they still didn't allow me when I was 18 and out for years so it was more than that but alas. If I didn't get kicked out, I wonder what it would have been like to start transitioning younger, to switch to a different school and have a chance at a second life not so jaded, with "my"/a family. I'm still alone, I think I might always be, I'm starting to be okay with that.

Oh, also for everyone thinking blue states are institutionally good and positive places for queers to live, welcome to rural Washington, where the concept of a butch- or even masculine women would be enough to make heads explode, least where I'm from they may as well as be Idaho legislators in terms of values.

[itsrlymine]

idk if you’ve answered this before or if it’s something you may not want to answer but i was wondering how your journey from the early stages of finding out about manifesting up until knowing you’re the operant power and your full potential was like

my manifesting journey so far

Hello my love! I think I just haven't seen the question yet but I would love to answer!

As far as I'm concerned, I knew manifesting as manifesting around the time I was 18 and in my first year of university. But ofc, I was manifesting the whole time before. The university I went to had the lowest acceptance percentage ever but I still managed to get in even with my grades that didn't meet their requirements and i didn't even do the college essay that everyone else had to do. I remember just deciding over and over that I would go there no matter what anybody said. I was told it was expensive and I didn't care, I was gonna go anyways. It was $40k/yr at the time and I got $36k worth of scholarship....... I just thought that was just luck.

Before then, I was obsessed with One Direction and 5 Seconds Of Summer like y'all it was bad! I wanted to see them in concert so freakin bad, it was like my life depended on it. I literally manifested them coming to my state and to a city that people don't really tour all the time and yall!!!!! I was like right in front of them and I def passed out hearing Zayn sing live. I saw both bands live together, it was incredible. I used subliminals to clear my skin in high school as well but eventually forgot about them.

I think having my dad tell me I could do anything I wanted is what lead me to believe that if I wanted something, it was automatically mine.

In college, I would always have s*x with the guys i wanted just by visualizing or saying they wanted me sooo bad (still works now!). I would make up friend groups in my head and then find that i would be in them not even two weeks later. I watched "The Secret" in my first year and that was really transformational for me bc I always felt like I was failing God and my family bc I didn't want to go the medical route/even finish college.

The summer of 2021, I was 22 and at home with my parents and broke asf and i said no more! I started consciously manifesting again even though I didn't know that's what it was called. I decided I would get a job in marketing that would pay me over $70k/yr even though I had one month of experience and only certifications in the field. Did that matter??? Of course not!!!!! It was remote and had unlimited pto and i could go on as many vacations a year as I wanted. I found out about the law a month after I started my job but for some reason, it felt so complicated and I found myself trying so damn hard rather than just reminding myself how I got what I wanted before. literally inner conversations, visualizing and talking out loud about my desires.

What made me realize I could manifest anything was when I changed my menstrual cycle and went to Dubai for free twice. What the 3d looks like never matters especially when it came to my cycle, I deadass couldn't see how my internal organs would change according to what I wanted but ofc they changed anyways. it was shortened and I haven't had cramps in months. Going to Dubai for free by imagining Abdullah slamming the door in my face and telling me I was in Dubai. I literally made a pinterest board of where I'd go in Dubai and I went to every single place. I would tell myself over and over that I'm gonna leave my wallet at home because everyone was gonna pay for me bc we are rich asf duh!. When I tell y'all that's exactly what happened!!!!

I've manifested so other "crazy" stuff but yea these ones definitely altered my brain chemistry.

[lostintransist]

Secrets Are For Grown Ups | Part 6

Part 1 can be found here. AO3

Shout out to @xbirdiex

Saturday moved with ease, John and Nyla joined you in taking the boys to the planetarium and lunch before dropping by the park for the regularly scheduled play date with other neighborhood kids.

Nyla stretched upon climbing out of your van. The ride from downtown to the park closest to your house had taken much longer than expected. There were several accidents on the freeway that delayed you by nearly an hour.

“I’ll be taken myself on a walk, you youngin’s watch the bairns.” With that, she strode with purpose on the path that circled the park.

The boys released themselves from their seats and took off screaming like only a seven-year-old can. Sharing a look with John you grab your park blanket from the back before locking the van.

John rubbed the back of his neck; he had been stuck in the back with the boys who talked the entirety of the car ride.

“They sure do have a lot of energy.”

Laughing you lead the way to a relatively flat spot of grass and lay out your blanket.

“They sure do. If you can believe it this is less energy than they used to have.”

Aghast John stares at you deep concern etched between his brows. It triggered a whole ‘nother round of laughter. Wiping your eyes free of the joyful tears you go on to explain.

“Toddlers have more energy but fewer words and are arguably much harder to care for. They are attracted to death, finding things that can kill them everywhere.”

“How did you manage?” He glances from you to the children crawling over the park equipment like ants over a corpse.

“Larsen mostly.” You smile softly thinking of your best friend.

John leans back on his hands, crossing his feet at the ankles.

“Tell me about him?”

“Larsen?” You question, surprised.

“Mom!” Mac comes racing up to you, “There is a kid that is throwing bark at people.”

“Okay, is he still doing it or did his grown-up take care of the problem?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, so it sounds like it has been taken care of right?” You lift a brow in conjunction with your question.

“Yeah,” Mac nods once before taking off at the same speed he arrived.

Blowing out a breath you glance to John and roll your eyes about your child’s antics.

“What do you want to know about Larsen?”

“Let’s start at the beginning, how did you meet?”

You can’t help the smile that blooms across your face.

“We met in second grade, about the same age the boys are now. We became the best of friends and were thick as thieves. Larsen lived outside the boundaries of our school but his parents used one of his grandparent’s addresses to get him into a ‘better school’.” You roll your eyes at that but continue. “We stayed friends all through school. He was my best friend. So many people in high school thought we were dating. Made it so hard to get a boyfriend.”

John laughed at the bitter cast to your voice. “Seems like it turned out well for you though.”

Canting your head side to side you decide how to explain.

“Larsen didn’t like the idea of romantic love; never had a partner because of it. When I got the news I was pregnant he was my first call.” You chuckle at the memory now, “I told him everything that had happened and you know what my best friend did? He offered to marry me over the phone.”

You pause your tale to yell at Jace to get down, the outside of the equipment is not meant for playing.

Picking up the story where you had left it you continue, “I said yes, obviously. He was the best partner I could have asked for. You are staying in his old room actually. We didn’t have a conventional marriage but he loved the boys fiercely; said he would be their father before anything else in his life. Damn man nearly passed out during delivery though.”

The memory still makes you smile, both your mom and Larsen’s had come to help with delivery. He didn’t even hold a leg as you pushed out the boys but one glance at your nether regions and the blood gushing from your vagina had him pale and had his mom shoving him into a chair with a ‘you are not going to pass out, we are all busy right now.’ The midwife team had laughed at that with you as you laughed out Jace. Mac had already been whisked away to get cleaned up.

“He sounds like a good man, the boys talk about him sometimes,” John is contemplative in his tone.

You curl your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around them and resting your chin down too.

“His death shocked us all. He had an aneurysm at work, gone before the paramedics arrived.”

“Not a bad way to go all things considered,” John mused aloud.

“Noah MacTavish! Get down now!” Mac makes a guilty face as he is caught scaling the play structure. “No, it could have been worse. He left us with a healthy chunk of life insurance and because he passed at work we got all the life insurance money from that fiasco. I paid off the house and invested the rest. I opened my cake decorating business within a few months of his passing to pay for our daily expenses, got all three of us in therapy, and then the boys started Kindergarten soon after. Larsen’s mom, Crystal, and my mom both stepped up in amazing ways.”

John is looking at you when you glance his way, the depth in his gaze sends shivers across your skin. The last time you had seen that look on his face had been in the weeks you were avoiding Simon on base. A deep contemplation as he mulled over his thoughts, you thought even then that it made him more attractive than should be reasonable.

Turning back to watch the boys you finish your thought.

“They both take the boys one day a week for a few hours so I have time to clean house or make deliveries or go to the doctor without an entourage.”

“Now Nyla is here and hopefully soon they will have more people to share the load,” John whistled, the sharp sound had both boys stopping their poor choices.

Speaking of Nyla caused her appearance avoiding the need for you to reply that you didn’t know if Simon and Johnny would want to be involved.

The boys played for a while longer before the three adults hustled them into the car and home for dinner.

Sunday morning saw you waking early with the boys, feeding them before sending them off to play in the backyard. Nyla and John were both able to sleep later than the six am wake-up you had.

Nearing nine am, Jace tore in through the back door as you work on the cake due today. He is holding his groin, a face of slight panic as he busts into the downstairs bathroom. You don’t remember the problem with him using that toilet until John’s startled voice sounds from the open door.

“Hello?”

“I have to go potty,” comes Jace’s quick reply.

“Ah.”

“Does your penis ever get stuck in your clothes?”

Oh no, now they are having a shower conversation. All of your focus is on the sounds drifting from the now-open door.

“Sometimes it does kiddo.”

Fuck. How do you deal with this? Jace will be done soon and John should have locked the door.

“Huh. Okay.” The toilet lid slams and you can hear Jace washing his hands before he reappears to go back to playing.

Now the question is, do you flush the toilet and shut the door? Yes. John deserved to shower in peace. As you reach the door you announce yourself.

“Don’t mind me, I am just going to take care of the step Jace missed.”

“Thanks, dove,” John’s voice drifts down over the shower curtain and you stop yourself from imagining anything that might join that thought.

“I am also going to lock the door so Mac doesn’t do the same thing to you.” Flushing the toilet you step back out of the room. John laughs as you lock the door and pull it shut tight.

Turning you find Nyla looking at you all concerned. By way of explanation, you say, “Jace busted in on John.”

She laughs with you at the absurdity of the situation and follows you back into the kitchen as you wash your hands and prepare to keep decorating a cake for a teenage birthday order. Their parent would be coming by in two hours for their delivery.

“I am going to visit with my boys.”

Your stomach tightened painfully at those words. The small smile you give her doesn’t mask the tension in your body. She pulls you into a motherly side hug, touching her head to yours before wandering from the kitchen. The front door opens and closes in near tandem with John stepping from the bathroom.

Fully clothed, steam billows around him as he shoves a bundle of clothes under one arm.

“That cake is the ugliest set of colors I have ever seen,” his brows nearly touch as he stares at the orange monstrosity sitting atop your counter.

“Oh I know but it’s only going to get worse,” you grab another container filled with your homemade frosting and begin to whip in a pale mint color.

“Worse?” John moves into the kitchen and around the counter to look down into the bowl you are using your hand mixer on. “Is that some kind of green?”

“Mint, but yes. Kid is turning thirteen and their two favorite colors are orange and mint. Mom wanted to combine both on the cake. Sent me reference photos and everything.” Turning off the hand mixer you set it to the side and ready your piping bag for a transfer. “Any fun plans today?”

John moves back around the kitchen island and settles both himself and his bundle of clothes onto a chair.

“I have a few stops I need to make but then will be back around lunch.” He is watching you as you spin your piping bag and start to drape strings of mint icing along the edge of the cake.

“Okay my mom will be here soon for the boys,” you glance at John as you tell him why, “She likes to take them to church.”

He pulls a face as he mutters, “Lovely.”

“I feel the same but if it keeps the peace and means she will take them on a weeknight too, I will allow it for now. I will probably use the time they are gone to deep clean the house before Simon and Johnny come over tomorrow.”

A scream from the backyard has you checking out the kitchen window to confirm no broken bones or blood, finding none you shift back to what you are doing.

“Do you clean because you’re stressed or because they are going to see more than the front room?” John lightly tapped his fingers against the counter, the sound barely traveling to your ears.

Sticking your tongue out in lieu of an answer John laughs. He rises as the knock sounds at the front door. Your mother comes in and chats with you a moment before collecting your boys who both give you a hug and a kiss before trailing out the door after grandma. John pokes his head into the kitchen to let you know he is leaving. And then you are alone.

Blasting music through the house you finish decorating, send a text to your client that she can pick up the cake any time before two pm, and set about cleaning the house. When Nyla reappears she jumps in by stripping all of the beds and starting the wash. By the time the boys and John appeared the house looked cleaner than it had been for Larsen’s wake. The scent of cleaning chemicals masked with lemon could be smelled in every room in the house.

Your pickup happens neatly at one, the mother gushing that the cake matches the vision and her kid is going to be so pleased. Nyla made sandwiches while you had finished cleaning the last bathroom. Sitting down at the table John announced that he would be sending both you and Nyla to a movie and then dinner.

“Are you sure you want to handle the boys?” They both grin up at you like innocent devils.

“We will have fun, won’t we boys?” John winks at them as they cheer.

At Nyla’s shrug, you accept the offer. A quick shower for yourself and the two of you were out the door, giggling at the thought of John managing the boys. The movie was your choice followed by Nyla’s pick of restaurant. Darkness had fallen by the time you both made your way through the garage and into the TV room.

Flung across the couch were three sleeping bodies. Jace slept sitting up against John. Mac rested his head against John’s thigh. John sat upright, head notched over the top of the couch and hands still gripping the controller for the game console that showed they had died again while playing Minecraft.

You lifted Jace first, fighting your way up the stairs with his body koala tight to you. Settling him in bed you turn and find a squinting John stepping into the room Mac wrapped around him. He settles your boy down with a gentle touch and even covers him to the chin with his blankets.

Waiting at the door, you pull it closed after John has slipped from the room.

“How were they tonight?” You whisper in the dark hallway.

“Good, we played board games, hide and seek, read some books, ate dinner, and then fell asleep playing video games.” His tone is even, steady beyond the sleep in his voice.

“Thanks for keeping them tonight John, it was nice to go out with Nyla.”

You can’t see what he does but his fingers find yours for one squeeze.

“They are good boys. I am happy to spend time with them and give you more time to get to know their grandmother,” he whispers back to you.

Tightening your fingers on his you fight the warm ball growing in your chest.

“Goodnight John.”

“Goodnight dove.”

Part 7

A/N: The next chapter is The Talk™ 😬

Secrets Masterlist | Masterlist

@love-kha1 @sweetlike-sugarplum @vmaxis @splaterparty0-0 @momowhoo @talia-the-gemini @redkarmakai @aethelwyneleigh27 @asexualbuthorny @sleep101 @callsignbumblebee @lucienofthelakes

[comicwritesstuff]

okay this is so incredibly specific so please feel free to ignore BUT i’ve been wanting to read a fic for ages where the reader is Chase’s childhood best friend from Australia and she moves to New Jersey for a fresh start. She’s staying with Chase while she gets settled, and one day she comes to visit him at lunch at the hospital, where she ends up meeting House and he’s… intrigued by her 👀 either romantic or smut would be so very cool :^D <33 💐

YES. I LOVE THIS PROMPT IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT IM FINISHED!!!

Gregory House x Fem!Chases bsf!Reader

Warnings: None really, just cussing and tooth rotting fluff >:) 3k+ words.

Chase's POV: 

“Well I was just wondering if we could go out sometime, I think you're really-” My attention shifted as y/n's call lit up my phone, interrupting the conversation. It was a more pressing matter than pursuing a one-night stand.

“Excuse me for a moment.” I say walking away, the woman having an annoyed look on her face. 

I answer the phone.

“Hello, y/n? Whats up” 

“Chase! Long time no talk haha.”

“You called me yesterday.”

“Learn to take a joke, anyways, I have some exciting news for you.”

“I’m moving to New Jersey!!” 

“Wait what? Really?”

“Yeah, I kinda forgot to tell you and i'm actually at the airport right now, so I hope you aren't busy tomorrow so you can pick me up.”

“Wow, um alright, yeah I can pick you up, do you have a place to stay?"

“Um…no…” I sigh, “Just stay at mine for now.”

“Don't even with the sigh i’ve known you my whole life you can put the nightly hookups on hold for your best friend.” 

I smirk and shake my head, “Yeah yeah, I’ll see ya tomorrow y/n” 

Y/N’s POV:

I smile as I hang up with Chase, grabbing my luggage and pulling it along the airport. Ahh yes, crying babies, rushed parents, annoying couples and that one insanely attractive person you see for a split second, I love the airport. 

Glancing at my ticket I realize I might have to hurry to make it to the gate, speed walking I see a text from chase, “Have a safe flight.” Let's hope so. 

Time skip (to lazy to write all the details about fucking airports)

Relaxing on a 21-hour flight proved challenging, especially with a toddler nearby. It was unclear whether the toddler would be a source of annoyance or just be tolerable. The flight just started. So to entertain myself I decide to do some digging about Chase's job, he brags about it all the time and the infamous Dr Gregory House. To be honest I thought Chase was gay for a little while with how much he talks about him. Still speculating. 

The plane lifts off and I start my look, at first just looking up Gregory House, a surprising amount of things show up. An article titled, “Gregory House, Talented Doctor? Or a lying Narcissist?” Oh well that's a good first impression.   

Scrolling down I see another article, “The world's greatest doctor, and his deepest secrets” 

Now that's enticing. I click on it only to find out his deepest secrets, including using 3 in one shampoo and how his leg got hurt. I guess people hardly know anything about him. I click on the photos of him, there's only a couple, most of them blurry but to be honest he's pretty good looking from the photos I can see. I’d honestly be gay for him if I was Chase. 

The toddler next to me starts giggling, I glance at her and notice her staring at a picture of House. She's kicking her feet too. That's so relatable. 

For the rest of the flight I find some stuff about this guy named Taub, who somehow also figured out that he cheated on his wife which is why he had to quit. How did I find that out? I took a coding class in 8th grade. (I got lucky) 

Lisa Cuddy the Dean of Medicine, unfortunately only good stuff about her, boring. 

Remy Hadley, oddly, can't find anything on her. 

Eric Foreman, his brothers in jail, fun. 

And the others are just as boring. For the remainder of the flight, the toddler proved surprisingly chill. I passed the time by binge-watching random movies I had downloaded earlier

*Another time skip to plane landing* 

Finally, 21 hours on a fucking plane is horrible. 

I check my phone after I take it off airplane mode, seeing a text from chase a couple minutes ago. 

“I’m at the airport, is your flight done?”

“Yep, wya.”

“I’m parked in the front.”

“That's specific” 

“There's no other front dumbass”

I roll my eyes at his text, and get off the plane as soon as I can. I walk out and see Chase standing outside his car waiting for me. His eyes light up as he spots me, and a grin spreads across his face. Unable to resist, I rush forward and envelop him in a bear hug.

“Man you’re a lot uglier in person” 

I say jokingly, smirking.

“Oh shut up”  

We climbed into his car, and he drove us back to his apartment. When we arrive he helps get my crap into the house, before he gets a call saying he had to head to work. 

Eventually a week or two passes, I've gotten more comfortable in his apartment, applied for a bunch of jobs, and looked for places to stay so I’m not invading his “man” space anymore. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of options, and no jobs have replied to my applications, which is weird since im overqualified, it's almost like they aren’t even getting my applications in the first place. 

I’m doing the dishes when I get a text from Chase.

“Hey, I left my wallet on the counter, so I don’t have money for food, could ya bring it for me?” 

“Nah”

“See you soon”

I breathe out a laugh and grab his wallet, putting a coat on then driving to the hospital. 

When I get there I walk in, looking around before I call Chase, “Where do I go this place is huge” I can hear talking in the background, actually more like arguing. “Uhm just wait at the entrance i’ll be right there.” He says in a whisper.

He hangs up so I just stand there awkwardly waiting, that was a weird ass phone call. To be fair Chase is a weird ass guy with weird ass coworkers so what do I expect at this point. 

Before I see Chase I see Dr Gregory House, limping quickly towards me. And damn he’s even hotter in person than the pictures I saw of him. 

“Hey, no time to explain, you need to come with me.” He grabs my arm dragging me into the elevator. Before it closes I see Chase come out of the stairway, he sprints towards the elevator but it closes. I hear him trying to say something, but it's muffled and I can’t understand it. Wait why the fuck did I even follow House? 

“You're real compliant, you’d make a great hooker.” 

I turn around and side eye him.

“Thanks, so would you.” I say giving a fake smile. 

“Speaking of compliant, why did you drag me away from Chase? What's going on?’’

“I made a bet with Chase.”

“That's really specific and helpful thanks” 

“Oh yeah no problem” 

Sarcastic asshole. 

“If you don’t tell me, I'll stop following you and go with Chase.” 

He rolls his eyes.

“Fine, Mom! The bet is that I can convince you to work as my assistant here.”

“Really? That's it? I need a job. Why would Chase even bet against that?” 

“He thinks you’ll fall in love with me so he doesn’t want that to happen, in his words, “She has a thing for homeless looking, narcissistic assholes with beards.” So he’s trying to prevent it, and he’s sure he can.”  

Damn- I feel so called out. I stay silent before nodding.

“Well to be honest he isn’t wrong.” 

I see House smirk before we get out of the elevator, he hobbles and leads me to his office, locking the door then having me sit down. 

As I sit down in front of his desk, he grabs a ball and starts throwing it against the wall, while sitting down. 

“So are you gonna interview me or something?” 

“Yeah, I’m just waiting for Chase to get back up here so he can watch me interview you.” 

He really is an asshole…it's kinda hot though. 

“Fair enough.” 

We wait a bit before Chase comes jogging up to the door, out of breath, he’s clearly been running plenty. He starts banging on the glass door that House previously locked.

“House!! Y/N! Let me in! This isn’t fair!” He exclaims, House is grinning when he leans over his desk, crossing his arms.

“Okay! Let’s start this interview now.” 

“Y/n! You traitor!” 

Did I abandon my childhood best friend for some disabled doctor? No, I did it for the job. At least that's what I'm telling myself.   

Turning my attention back to House instead of the Australian cry baby outside the door, he asks me, “First question, do you want the job of being my assistant?” 

“Obviously”

“Great! You have the job!” 

I mean, easy enough. I smile and shake my head. This hospital really has some unique people. 

House shakes my hand, grinning as Chase is sitting on the floor defeated outside. 

As the days turned into weeks at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, I got to know everyone. Cuddy had to actually approve of me working as House’s assistant first, but once she saw a…normal enough individual, she welcomed me into the environment.

Getting to know House better, I found myself drawn to him in ways I hadn’t really expected. The bet between House and Chase, Chase thinking I would fall for House, I took it as a joke, until that joke turned more into reality. 

Despite House being a narcissistic piece of shit, there were small moments that I saw, or shared with him that made me fall for him. Ones where he seemed happy, or just easy to be around. At work he's serious but when Wilson dragged him out to bars, or other social environments, he could actually be fun. And though him being a dick is undeniably attractive sometimes, when he was…”himself” that's how I began to fall for him.  

One day, after an especially tough day for the team, and being forced to go break into houses and get coffee and food, I found myself alone with House in his office. The rest of the team had left, leaving us in a rare moment alone with each other. As I glanced up from the medical chart of the most recent patient, I caught House’s gaze lingering on me, his blue eyes intense and unreadable. 

“Something on your mind, House?” I asked, attempting to break the awkward silence between us. 

He smirked, leaning back in his chair with a casual ease, “Oh just wondering why a catch like yourself doesn’t have a boyfriend, or husband?” He responds, his tone laced with flirtatiousness.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at his response, a faint blush on my cheeks. House and I had gained an uncanny camaraderie, made from me running around doing everyone's paperwork, being the designated “you get to tell patients they are dying!!” person. And as you’d expect people didn’t respect me a lot, but if someone was blatantly mean to me, House would step in and destroy their self esteem in a second and walk away like it meant nothing. That's another thing that I think made me fall for him. 

“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself that a lot too.” I smile, placing the medical chart on his desk. 

“Do you want a boyfriend? Or girlfriend, or a pet or something.” He quips, his eyes looking like they are reading me, studying my every movement and reaction to what he’s saying, it's flattering and uncomfortable at the same time. 

“A boyfriend would be nice.” I say reassuringly, a laugh escaping me as I shake my head in amusement.

“Alright let's say *hypothetically* I asked you out. *hypothetically* what would your response be?” 

Raising an eyebrow I ask, “Are you trying to go on a date with me?”

“I said hypothetically, now answer the question.” 

A smirk plays on my lips as I roll my eyes in a mock annoyance. 

“Well.” I say, “Hypothetically, I would say yes.” 

“Great, meet me for dinner at (some random fancy place idk u make up a name i'm too lazy to), wear something cute.” 

 With that, he sauntered out of the office, leaving me to think about what just happened. Glancing at the clock, I realized I had just enough time to get ready for our “hypothetical date.” 

The anticipation bubbled within me, standing outside (IDK A RESTAURANT NAME IT), waiting for House to arrive. My heart raced with nervous excitement, unsure what to expect from a…unique…guy like House. I had used all the time I had to work on my outfit, settling for a simple dress (or suit, or just anything you're comfy in :) ). 

As I scanned the busy street, searching for any sign of House, I heard the obnoxiously loud sound of a motorcycle approaching. House rode in, parking his bike before getting off and walking (limping) towards me. My breath caught in my throat as I saw him, he looked impossibly handsome, in a tailored suit that made his rugged charm come out, good god he looked fine. 

“Y/n,” he greeted with a warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners in genuine affection. “That outfit makes your ass look nice.” 

I scoff playfully, hitting his arm. “So much for acting like a gentleman, at least you look like one.” 

He chuckled, offering me his arm in a more gentlemanly gesture. “Yeah yeah, shall we?” 

With a nod, I looped my arm through his, savoring the warmth of his touch as we mad our way into the restaurant. The ambiance was elegant and inviting, with a soft candlelight casting a warm glow over the decor. 

As we were seated at a table in a quiet corner of the restaurant, I couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement in my chest. I’m finally going out with House, damn Chase was totally right. 

Throughout the evening, our conversation flowed surprisingly easily between us. I had half expected him to be rude or stuck up, but he seemed actually interested in me, in my life. He was asking questions, laughing and joking with me. Sharing stories of his own, and treating me like an actual human. Honestly it was scaring me a bit, but it was making me fall harder for him. 

House raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in his eyes. ‘So, tell my Y/N. What’s the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?” 

I laughed, shaking my head as I thought about the memory. “Well, there was this one time in college-” 

“Let me guess,” House interrupted, a smirk playing on his lips. “It involved copious amounts of alcohol and very questionable decisions?” 

I chuckle and nod in agreement. “You could say that. Long story short, I ended up streaking through the campus fountain at three in the morning. I'm pretty sure Chase might still have a video of it still.”

House raises an eyebrow, an amused laugh coming from him. “I wish I could say I was surprised, oh and also. I am finding that video.” He states, with a determined and mischievous grin. 

The dinner continues and our connection just seems to get stronger, fueled by shared laughter, stories of shit Wilson and him did in college, things Chase and I did in highschool. With each passing moment, I found myself more and more under House’s spell, captivated by the complexity of himself, his character. His gaze, laughter, even his personality. Maybe it was the wine or something, but House was being nice, he had charisma, and was being attractive in general.  

I don’t even realize that we’ve spent almost three hours in the restaurant just talking. I check my phone seeing that it's 9:30 already. We had got and paid the check awhile ago, but had stayed to talk longer. The restaurant closes at 10, and I felt a sudden pang of disappointment that our date was close to being over with. I didn’t want it to end, I was savoring this moment I was having, this seemingly perfect night. 

When the waiter arrived to take our dessert order, I couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that the evening was drawing to a close. I wasn't ready for it to end—I wanted to savor every moment, to prolong the magic of our time together for as long as possible.

House notices my look of disappointment, “I’m aware how amazing I am, but if its up to me, this won’t be our last date.” 

A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth, my cheeks heating up as I blush. The butterflies in my stomach going absolutely insane. 

So with a quick glance around the restaurant, I rose from my seat, House grabbed my hand as he led me towards the exit. 

Stepping out into the cool night air, I felt a sense of happiness coursing through me. This was it, the beginning of a new relationship, a surprisingly healthy one so far. 

As House’s hand tightened around mine, his touch sent sparks of electricity coursing through my veins. I knew now that maybe Chase knows me better than I know myself, in all fairness he predicted this, but right now I wasn’t afraid to admit this, to admit the undeniable attraction that I had towards Dr Gregory House. 

His touch leaves mine, his hand pulling as we stand in front of the restaurant, close to each other, staring in each other's eyes. I glance at his lips before leaning in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, not sure if he expected it, but I pull back.

“Goodnight House. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that I walk away, to my car. When I get in my car, I look in the mirror, seeing House standing there with a lovestruck grin, one a child would have over some school crush. But it was cute, he was cute. And this was just the beginning of an annoyingly predicated relationship with a Vicodin addicted, asshole, who I suspect has a soft spot for me.

[strzlun]

TUTORING

// nishimura riki //

pairing: rebellious!ni-ki x class president!femreader

word count- 4.2k

genre/cw- fluff, slight angst, slice of life, tutoring sessions, arguing, reader and ni-ki are enemies(?), realization, confessions, school setting, falling in love, ni-ki hates everyone but reader

summary- Ni-ki’s notorious reputation soon changed it’s course because of simple tutoring

________________________________________________________

You and Ni-ki could be considered as the cliche bad boy and good girl trope. He was the student that created nonstop ruckus which you always had to shut down. You were class president, so that meant having to keep everything in check during school hours.

It was no surprise hearing Ni-ki had despised you. You expected it but didn’t care enough to dwell on it. Simply, you and Ni-ki were never meant to get along.

So imagine the despair you had hearing that you would have to tutor Ni-ki in order for him to pass. You wanted to crawl into a hole and never show your face again, but you only gave a tight smile before being dismissed.

You wondered how you would even approach Ni-ki about his tutoring session, he was rarely ever in school and whenever he was he avoided you like you’re a plague.

You somehow wished for a miracle that Ni-ki would just be accepting of the tutoring session in order for him to pass.

When you walked into class, you saw minimum students still lingering in there. It was the end of the day so it was expected everyone would be out the door by the mere sound of the dismissal bell.

The few students greeted you before grabbing their own bags and leaving the classroom. You were going to grab your own belongings and leave but you gasped when you saw Ni-ki asleep on his desk with his headphones on.

No one had woken him up when school ended? You knew Ni-ki and the other students didn’t necessarily get along with each other but you thought they would have some decency and wake him up.

You gulped nervously before softly tapping his arms that he used as a pillow. When your attempt failed, you shook his arm hoping that would be enough to wake him up.

When you realized he was still fast asleep, you shook him a little harder while calling out his name. Even with those attempts, his sleeping figure never faltered.

You sighed before giving a shove to his body while yelling out ‘riki’ instead of the name he preferred. This was the successful trial as he groggily opened his eyes and raising his head to take in his surrounding.

He looked around the empty classroom but when his gaze landed on you he scowled. What a thoughtful response, after being the one who woke him up.

He didn’t even say a word, he grabbed his backpack and stood up from his desk to walk out of the classroom. You grumbled under your breath before calling out his name, you still needed to tell him about the tutoring sessions,

You knew he was ignoring you as he continued to walk away, you grew frustrated and you knew you shouldn’t do what you were going to do but it was the only way.

You followed Ni-ki out the classroom and pulled the side of his headphone off and he whipped his head at you as if you were crazy.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Come tomorrow and stay after school. We have our first tutoring session tomorrow”

“Our first what?” He squinted his eyes at you to see if you were joking and when he realized you weren’t, he grew irritable

“I don’t need tutoring” He grumbled and was going to pull his headphone back onto his ear until you started to talk

“Your grades say other wise, you better come tomorrow Nishimura if you don’t I’ll hunt you down and bring you myself” After you were done, you gave a fake smile turning your back to head into the classroom to grab your belongings

Ni-ki scoffed at your actions, you had some nerve. You actually thought he would show up for a tutoring session, to hell he would.

Now Ni-ki didn’t actually anticipate for you to hunt him down. Before he could step a foot off of school grounds, he felt himself being dragged back into the school by his empty backpack.

When he turned around, you didn’t even pay any mind to him as you pulled his backpack to drag him back into the school.

You weren’t going to risk having your school record tainted because of someone like Ni-ki.

“I told you Nishimura I would hunt you down” You only ever called him by his last name whenever you were angry or annoyed with him which was almost always

“Alright I get it, just let go of my backpack” He yanked his backpack away from your grasp, you stopped walking as you could seem him readjusting it on his back

You could hear his grumbled but paid no attention to it. But what you did pay attention to was Ni-ki booking it down the hallway to get away from you.

You stared at him dumbfounded. He actually was going to make you chase him just to have one tutoring session, you felt yourself go crazy.

You scoffed before running after him, to hell were you going to allow him ruin your clean record.

And after much banter, Ni-ki grumbled in the chair in front of you. He had his arms folded already done with tutor session that’s yet to begin. You were humming softly as you organized the papers, you were too happy for his liking.

“Why are you so happy?”

“Oh I’m not happy, just trying to keep an optimistic attitude” You could see him rolling his eyes at you in the corner of your eye, you sighed before placing the organized papers in front of him, He looked at you confused with the stack of papers and you presented them to him

“This is all the work you missed” His eyes widen in surprise, there was no way he would be able to cram all this work into one tutor session

“This more than months worth of work, don’t tell me you thought it would be a one time thing” He sneered at you before grabbing the first paper and tried looking for a pencil, when you realized he didn’t even have one you sighed

You took out a pencil from your pencil case and placed it in front of him.

“Keep it, you need it more than me” Ni-ki looked at your pencil and felt anger, he didn’t know why but he did, he angrily grabbed your pencil and looked at the paper trying to figure out what was on it

You saw him struggling and sighed, this was why you’re here. You scooted your seat closer to his and he squinted his eyes at you before scooting away. You scooted again and he scooted away, now you were growing frustrated.

You glared at him and he glared back, he had no problem going up against you.

“I’m trying to help you” You seethed through your teeth, you were already having to take time out of your day to help him

“I’m not asking for your help” He bantered back, why was it hard for you to understand he didn’t need you help

“You’ve been staring at the paper for over 10 minutes, I think you do”

“I don’t, I was just analyzing it” You scoffed and nodded your head, you knew this would be harder than it seemed but you don’t know if you could hold on

“Fine, l only wanted to help you but I guess you don’t need it. So don’t make a ruckus when you finally realize you’re failing” You looked hurt before grabbing your all belongings and left Ni-ki, you had no energy to go against him when he clearly didn’t want you around, you would meet his wishes

Ni-ki didn’t look at you as you walked away from him, he kept his eyes on the paper, he felt relieved but for some reason he felt a gnawing at his stomach, he only discarded it as an uncomfortable feeling left by you that stuck to him.

He didn’t want you around, so he was glad you were finally respecting his wishes.

Now you would expect for Ni-ki to be pleased without your presence but it only made him angrier. You weren’t even acknowledging him anymore. When he did something, you didn’t even bat an eye and continue working or talking with your classmates.

You haven’t bothered him about the tutoring sessions after what happened during the first one. You were clueless by the way he was irritated by this, why was he always so angry because of you?

You two were the last people in the classroom, you stayed behind to make sure everything was where it was meant to be. Ni-ki on the other hand had no idea why he stayed behind, maybe it was the fact he stayed up until late at night trying to figure out one of the missing works or an unknown reason he didn’t want to pry open.

It’s been a week and you haven’t said a word to him. He was tired of it, and tired of not knowing what the stack of missing work was.

“We need to talk” No response, you began to pack up your belongings getting ready to leave him alone once again

He can’t believe he was about to do this, never in his life did he ever think he had to stoop so low especially for you. Just what had gotten into him?

“I messed up okay?” You still didn’t responded, you continued to hum for yourself and you were already on your way out the classroom door, Ni-ki followed after you, why was he doing this?

“I said I messed up, aren’t you happy that I’m admitting my defeat?” You continued to hum, you weren’t going to give him the time of day just like how he did to you

Suddenly you felt a tug at you book bag, you were pulled back onto a wall, he had you cornered and you shockingly looked at Ni-ki, who was beyond frustrated. Why were you ignoring him?

“How many times do I have to repeat myself? I messed up, I messed up and oh guess what I messed up” You looked at him unamused, it was the same treatment he gave you and now he didn’t like the taste of his own reputation

“Okay, what do you want me to do? Congratulate you?” You raised an eyebrow, Ni-ki was beyond shocked with your words, you always refrained from talking like that to him

“Help me” Those two words left Ni-ki’s mouth before he could even register what he said, his and yours eyes widen at the sudden plead of help

He didn’t have anything to say after that, he kept opening and closing his mouth to form some coherent sentence but couldn’t. You waited for any words to follow his previous statement before you spoke.

You gulped and nodded your head before pushing past him slightly.

“Alright, we’ll start tomorrow. I’ll meet you at the same place and this time I won’t hunt you down”

Ni-ki didn’t need to be hunted down by you. He was already waiting for you, the stack of papers in front and the pencil you gave laid ontop of them. You were shocked to see him already there, you really expected him to bail on you.

You were surprised when he gave you a head nod as a greeting. To others it may not have meant much but to you it meant almost as big as the world, he never greeted you without a comment.

“Let’s get started?” You sat down next to him and before you knew it, the first official tutoring session had already flown by like a breeze, Ni-ki was hesitant at first but soon warmed up and started asking for help on questions he didn’t know

You didn’t know that he had a side to him that he never showed. The quiet and concentrated side made you wonder what more was there to Ni-ki than what he presented himself as.

When you finished the tutoring session it was already late in the afternoon, the sun had already set as the sky was now filled with stars and the bright moon. You’d already bid goodbye to Ni-ki as you walked off, but you stopped when you heard him call you.

“Uh let me walk you home” His voice was soft, something you never experienced before, you almost let out a laugh thinking he was joking but when you realized he wasn’t you were quick to look at him surprised

“Why?”

“It’s late and it’s dark already”

“I’ve walked this plenty of times, I’ll be fine Nishimura”

“Stop being so stubborn and let me walk you home”

“I’m not stubborn, you’re being stubborn”

Ni-ki walked you home that night, you don’t know how long you two stood there bantering over nonsense until you were too exhausted to continue arguing. Ni-ki smiled with pride when you gave in and peacefully walked you home.

Ni-ki realized you didn’t talk much when you were alone, you seemed to have been in your own world admiring all kinds of different scenery during the walk. Ni-ki gave some space between you and him, he let you walk ahead as he walked behind you.

The walk wasn’t uncomfortable it was rather one of the most calming walks either of you have ever had. It’s just strange that it so happened to be together.

Over the course of the tutoring sessions, the two of you may had not noticed it but the people around you have. They way your banters have subsided and were now civil conversation and greetings, sometimes with smiles or chuckles.

People were surprised to see Ni-ki act different from how he usually is. He no longer created as much ruckus as he used to, he no longer missed school, Nishimura Riki actually started attending everyday of school after the tutoring sessions started.

People were shocked to say in the least, you had changed Ni-ki and you didn’t even realize it. Even Ni-ki himself didn’t realize the change he was going through.

The two of you were having a normal conversation when Ni-ki suddenly placed his hands onto your shoulder to move you out of the way before you could get hit with a flying ball. He still had his hands on your shoulder as he glared off at the student who almost hit you with the ball.

“Sorry, I should’ve seen where the ball would head to”

“Next time watch it” The person looked at Ni-ki, curious about his sudden care towards you but still just picked up the ball and walking away from the two of you

You didn’t realize Ni-ki’s hold on you until he asked if you were okay, when you turned to face him he held a worried expression. Now this was something you never ever experienced in the time you’ve been classmates with him.

You couldn’t trust yourself to make a coherent sentence so you only nodded your head, he sighed and let go of you. He bid you goodbye saying he needed to head somewhere and that he would meet you at the same place, same time for your tutoring session.

You felt a hard thump against your heart as he walked away, now that wasn’t normal for you.

Ni-ki and you were at your usual study session but you kept a little more distance than usual. When you sat down, you discreetly scooted your chair further from him but he still noticed either way.

He thought that it was because your seat moved by accident and that you would adjust it closer to him so he didn’t worry about it. But when you didn’t and only sat farther from him, that’s when he took notice of it.

He called out to you and you hummed, slightly turning your head to see what he needed help with. You let out a gasp when the bottom of your chair was dragged towards Ni-ki, when you were face to face with him you saw the stoic face he let on.

When you were close to him, he looked away and continued doing his work as if nothing happened. The same hard thump against your heart appeared again, and you only looked away but stayed where you were at.

After the tutoring sessions, Ni-ki always walked you no matter what the times was. It was habit of his that he couldn’t (didn’t) want to let go of, you didn’t mind but today it was different. You were walking further from him, almost as if you were trying to escape from him, he frowned at the sudden change in attitude towards him.

He wondered what he did wrong, he made sure he was in class, he did his work, he went to all the tutoring session, didn’t cause anymore ruckus, he even walked you home. So why were you running away him?

You know you were acting foolish but you couldn’t help it. You didn’t like the uncomfortable beating in your chest, and it only happened when you were with Ni-ki. So you thought it would be best if you decided to distance yourself, to get away from the uncomfortable feeling. You knew it wasn’t his fault, it was your own problem and you needed to resolve it fast.

“Are you okay?” His voice was soft, it was a voice that he only used with you (after thorough observation) You felt the same heart beat in your chest, you felt like you couldn’t breath and were on a cloud

“I’m fine” It was obvious you weren’t but you didn’t want to admit that, you didn’t want Ni-ki to know that there is a vulnerable side to you that you never show

You were the class president, you had to ‘set’ an example.

“Then why are you ignoring me?” Silence, it was almost unbearable, you didn’t know how you could respond without make it seem like you were losing your mind

“I’m not, I’m just tired” Ni-ki who only started to warm up to you recently could tell you were lying through your teeth

“Stop lying, it’s annoying” His choice of words weren’t the best but for some reason you were able to interpret it the way he meant it

You and Ni-ki were getting along and it seemed like you both molded to fit the other into your lives with ease. You gulped, this was dangerous and you were getting nervous.

“I’m not lying, I’m just really tired okay?” You gave a warm smile trying to ease the tension and you thought it did when Ni-ki didn’t speak and only stared at you

Ni-ki couldn’t speak, he doesn’t realize when your smile started to have effect on him but this was a moment of weakness. He admired your smile, even if it was forced, he still felt the effects from it.

He cleared his throat, ignoring the annoying thump against his chest. He nodded his head and took your word for it, if you didn’t want to talk about it who was he to pry it out of you.

You continued walking but you walked beside him, Ni-ki noticed this but didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to ruin it. So as the two of you walked side by side, your hands would softly graze each others.

You would glance at each other when you felt the soft grazes but decided not to do anything. The two of you afraid to instigate something and possibly ruin the progress you’ve made with each other.

But neither of you could deny the fluttering of your hearts as no words were exchanged between each other.

People noticed yet another change between the two of you. They saw the way you were more friendly with Ni-ki, you started to joke around with him. Ni-ki would genuinely smile more when he was with you, he even found himself trying out for extra curriculums.

When he would tell you any sort of achievement he accomplished, you would be proud of him and celebrate with him after school. The time you two spent together was becoming every hour of every day, you two became attached to each other and didn’t even realize it.

Now people assumed Ni-ki would be like this with everyone, they were wrong. He still kept his guard up and stoic gaze on whenever other people tried to act the same way you acted with him. He would glare at them and scoff, not giving them the time of day before setting off to find wherever you were.

Now Ni-ki found himself waiting outside the classroom door until you were done. After what felt like hours, when in reality it was 20 minutes, you finally walked out the door with a smile.

He smiled back at you before tilting his head to head out the school. You nodded your head and you walked next to him like you always did now, you both talked about random topics. It felt like the two of you were in your own world and that you didn’t have to worry about anything as long as you both were by each other’s side.

Now it took some time for Ni-ki to realize (actually just one google search) that he likes you. When did he start to like you was beyond him, but he couldn’t stay by you without feeling like he was about to explode.

So what did he do with this new found information? He did the only reasonable thing, he shoved it in the back of his mind and acted like the feelings didn’t exist. He tried his best to act as normal as he was before he found it, but he found it almost impossible. His mind only functioned if you were the center of his thoughts, his bright smile only showed itself when you walked into his view.

He was worse than he thought.

You waited for Ni-ki for the last tutoring session, he’s almost done completing his missing work and that meant these tutoring sessions would no longer be needed. It made you sad, you enjoyed spending time with Ni-ki but you hoped after today you both are still able to be friends.

You waited for Ni-ki but he was taking longer to arrive, you played with your fingers until you heard soft footsteps. You looked up to see a nervous Ni-ki, he had his hands behind his back as he walked towards you.

When you gave him a confused smile, he felt like he was on top of cloud nine. Yeah, he definitely liked you.

When he was infront of you, he didn’t sit down. He looked at you and his eyes were filled with temptation, he took a deep sigh before taking the single flower that he held behind his back. You looked at him confused but that soon melted away when you saw his soft smile.

He ushered for you to grab it and when you did, he sat down next to you. You watched his every move, anticipating what he was going to do next.

“I like you”

Now you didn’t expect that, you stared at him frozen at his words, what did he just say?

Ni-ki decided why beat around the bush when he can be straight forward with his feelings. He knew he liked you, so why would he want to drag it for longer?

“What?”

“I like you” You thought you were hearing things, you blinked rapidly trying to have the three simple words progress through your mind

“You, Nishimura, like me?” Ni-ki nodded his head, he couldn’t lie that he felt nervous, he was starting to assume that you didn’t feel the same way

He was growing fidgety and you took notice of that. You realized this must have taken a lot out of him to do, you suddenly smiled before giggling.

You were just as swooned for him as he was for you.

“I was going to tell you about my feelings soon, guess you beat me to it” Your words were like fireworks in his ear, you couldn’t even register anything as you were suddenly tackled into a hug

Ni-ki held you tightly, he wasn’t one that enjoyed physical touch but in that moment he felt the need to have you in his arms. You were shocked by the sudden hug, but soon you hugged him back. He rested his head onto your shoulder as you softly rubbed his back.

“Does this mean you like me too?” His words made you laugh

“No, I just wanted to be tackle into a hug” Your tone was sarcastic but Ni-ki pulled away from you and looked at you dumbfounded, you laugh again before placing your hands onto his shoulder.

You decided to do something risky, you planted a soft kiss onto his cheek and when you pulled away, his eyes were in a daze of you.

“Yes Ni-ki, this means I like you too” He was quick to tackle you into another hug again, you giggled against the hug

Ni-ki wasn’t going to let you go after this. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest as you hugged him back. You liked him too and that was the best news that he had ever heard. Even though, he only ever shows it to you, you changed him for the better.

It’s weird to admit but he was glad he was failing because without that, you would’ve never been assigned to give him the tutoring sessions that change his life.

“One last tutoring session?”

[seventeenreasonswhy]

Super Shy ~ A JWW School-Life Romance Pt. 1

Star Athlete!Wonwoo x Shy Wallflower!Reader

Jeon Wonwoo... THE Jeon Wonwoo is... paying attention... to you!?

~1.1k words

Series content: fluff, first crush plot line, school-life anime vibes, slow burn/yearning, some light angst, classmates to friends to lovers, fem reader, reader is ~*super shy*~ and has low self-esteem, reader is kind of bullied (?), sweetie pie Wonwoo, appearances by Choi Hansol and more!, all characters are in high school so no explicit content (but probably kissing eventually).

My Masterlist

Author’s note: Eeeee! I’ve been watching a lot of school life/romance anime these days and here we are lol. Wonwoo is so first love-coded I couldn’t help myself! And I needed something to distract myself from the pain and sorrow of Jeonghan enlisting. This is just part 1, but we’ll see how long this goes! hahaha. Thank you for reading!!! LMK if you want to be on the taglist 😊

Taglist: @yeoberryx @clownprincehoeshi @soffiyuhh @wonwoos-wineparty @hamji-hae @junniesoleilkth @seokqt @haniinah @yangtyunhannie @cherrylovescheol @iIIucere @lukeys-giggle @cookiearmy

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

Despite the lingering winter chill, the time had come for the baseball team to start their pre-season training.

You didn’t know this because you were particularly fond of baseball. You (and everyone else in school) knew this because every morning a crowd of girls could be seen clinging to the chain-link fence surrounding the baseball fields.

There was only one reason why they gathered out there so early and in the freezing cold: Jeon Wonwoo.

Jeon Wonwoo was the star of the baseball team in the spring, the star of the track team in the summer, the star of the soccer team in the fall, and the star of the basketball team in the winter.

And everyone... everyone was in love with him.

Or, at least, that’s what it seemed like to you.

Spring came so fast, you thought as you shuffled your way to homeroom. You always got to class early since you didn’t really have friends to meet up with beforehand, and you didn’t play any sports. Your whole life existed within the path from your bedroom to school, only ever deviating to your parttime job at your uncle’s convenience store on the weekends, or occasionally to the library to study.

You glanced out the window to see the crowd of your classmates (not to mention girls from the grade below you and the grade above you) watching the baseball team’s practice game. You were impressed that they got up so early just to watch a practice.

Jeon Wonwoo was in your class, and you had technically spoken with him exactly one time. But still, you didn’t think you could say you’d ever had a ‘conversation’ with him.

Earlier in the year, you had been tasked with collecting everyone’s homework. He had been chatting with the guys seated behind him.

“Um,” you’d squeaked, barely audible, “... Excuse me?”

He had turned to you, looking directly at you through those dark, feline eyes. You could tell right away that they were the eyes of someone with effortless magnetism. Even you felt your face get flushed when they were trained on you.

“Uh, your homework—” was all you could muster, unable to meet his gaze.

“Oh,” he said, turning to rummage in his bag, “sorry about that—thank you!” he smiled as he handed you his assignment.

He seems nice, you’d thought.

And that was the extent of your interaction with Jeon Wonwoo. Months had passed now, and his seat was on the opposite side of the room from you.

And even though you wouldn’t like to admit it, the moment had stuck with you...

The smile on his face, the way it... sparkled?

You chalked it up to being the moment you really understood why so many people in school were obsessed with him. He was more than just handsome and a top athlete; he was actually really nice. Or appears nice... you’d remind yourself that you didn’t really know Jeon Wonwoo. You didn’t feel like you could say with certainty what kind of person he was.

He wasn’t the most outgoing guy in your grade, but he attracted a lot of attention. You’d never seen him exchange harsh words with anyone. You couldn’t imagine handling that kind of spotlight. You saw girls talk to him and flirt with him all the time—giving him gifts, following him to the cafeteria, passing him notes in class... he was always super nice to anyone who wanted to talk to him, but apparently he’d never reciprocated anyone in the school’s feelings. Sometimes you wondered whether he already had a girlfriend or not.

Someone like him is probably dating a model, you assumed.

Class was about to start, and people came pouring in one by one. You continued to stare out the window, until you felt a tug on your school blazer.

“Hi, Y/N!!” it was your classmate, Chaeryong. She sat in front of you. You weren’t really friends, but she was nice. You were kind of surprised that she approached you.

“I’m sorry to ask, but do you think I could look at your homework from last night?”

“Oh,” you said, coming back down to earth, “Sure.” You pulled your notes out and handed them to her.

“Thank you!!” she said, “I owe you!!”

She took her seat in front of you and started copying down your homework. You knew that it wasn’t right, but you also didn’t care that much if other students copied you. It wasn’t like you’d get in trouble or anything. Even the teachers tended to overlook you. A blessing and a curse at times.

“Your handwriting is so neat, Y/N!” Chaeryong said. Then, the girl who sat next to her asked to see your notes... and another boy from the row in front of her... until eventually, it seemed like the entire class was copying your homework.

“Uh,” you started to interject as yet another classmate asked to see your work, but right then, Jeon Wonwoo and Choi Hansol from the baseball team came in, both of them emitting a post-practice glow and completely disrupting the vibe.

“Ah, Wonwoo! You were going crazy at just a practice, I’m so impressed!” the guy currently clutching your notes turned and said to Wonwoo. You’d gotten out of your seat by now, and were about to reach for your work...

“Oh that was nothing,” Wonwoo said with a casually cocky grin, “what’s that?” He pointed at your homework with his chin.

“Oh, this is Y/N’s homework,” the guy said, “she’s letting me copy.”

“Um,” you said, starting to panic. I never said that!

“What?” Wonwoo said, his tone incredulous. “Do your own homework! Y/N, you don’t have to let this clown copy your work.” His tone was much sweeter when he spoke to you, making your stomach turn inexplicably.

“Aww, Wonwoo! Don’t be like that!” the guy whined.

“Do your own homework next time!” And he snatched the notes from this guy’s hand.

“Here you go,” he said softly as he handed you the notes.

“Th-thanks,” you said, feeling completely flustered. You all but ran back to your seat. Maybe he is really nice, you thought.

“Man, bad timing,” another girl giggled, “we already got to copy Y/N’s notes.”

“Wait, how many people are just copying Y/N?” Wonwoo asked, but the room didn’t answer—instead shuffling off to their respective seats, continuing their own pre-class banter. Wonwoo looked across the room at you while you tried to crawl inside your own skin out of embarrassment. He almost went over to you... but he saw the look on your face and decided against it.

[selfloverrrrrr]

Can I request yandere gojo x fem reader where the reader is a special grade sorcerer and satorus best friend since high school,

After suguru she is the only one who understands Satoru well and Satoru can show his true emotions to her but what she wasn't aware was Satoru likes her since many years now but kept to himself since he knows he loves suguru since high school and still loves him even after his death.

As days pass by he was getting more and more annoyed at her to not get the hints that he likes her and when he had enough and confessed his feeling for her she rejected him.

And after that day he came back from a mission wounded and went to her saying it was her fault and started to manipulate and forced her to heal him, (since if she uses her healing technique to heal someone else other then herself it damage her own health, and because of that she was not physically strong) and with that after many times healing him her health was not so good which made her weak,

Not wanting to wait for her Satoru noncon her and force her to get pregnant since it will tie her to him.

And even if she tells the higher uppers about this they won't do anything and rather will be happy that two powerful clans members r having childen.

I'll have you

Warnings : smut , heavy smut, unprotected sex, Noncon, Kidnapping, physically and emotional abuse, biting, size difference, Yandere Gojo, stalking, protective, jealous, obsessive, manipulative....

( All characters are aged up/18+)

Masterlist

Minors Do Not Interact

Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report

I'm a old student of jujutsu high. I graduated from that school ten years ago. I'm still connected with the jujutsu high like some of my other friends. But life changed a lot...a lot means...A LOTTTT!!!

Everything changed after Suguru's death. After his death I was the only one who understands Satoru. And Satoru also showed his true emotions to me. Even after Geto's death Gojo put on a fake smile to everyone but always tells me how much it hurts him and how much he feels pain.

And I always gave him mental support. but what I wasn't aware of was Satoru likes me since many years now but kept to himself since he knows I'm in love with suguru since high school and I still love him even after his death.

As days pass by he was getting more and more annoyed at me just for not getting the hints that he likes me! One day when he had enough and came to me and confessed his feeling for me. "Look Gojo I really respect your feelings...but you know I loved Geto...and I still do" I said. "Yes but one day you will move on...right??" He asked got too much excited. "Okey...I guess I'll think about it that time...okey?" I replied with a smile. I rejected him. He started deep into my eyes and didn't say anything then he left.

One day Gojo came back from a mission wounded. He knocked on my door. When I opened the door I saw Gojo. He was wounded. "OML .... What happened?? Come inside" I said and locked the door after he came inside.

He fell on the floor after coming inside. I sat infront of him "Gojo are you gonna tell me what happened???" I asked. "I was on a mission" he replied looking at his wounds. "Haven't you infinity on??? Then how did it happened?!" I said. "I have to turn off infinity sometimes!!!!" He said in a annoyed tone. But that was an weird answer.

"Ain't you gonna heal me?" He asked. Yes healing technique.... I have a powerfull healing technique but whenever I use my healing technique to heal someone else other then myself it damages my own health. But I can feel some how he was angry on me so I didn't say no...cause I was kinda scared of his reaction.

And with that after many times healing him....now my health was not so good for which I was becoming so much weak. I fell on the floor. My body was too weak right now. When I looked at Gojo instead of seeing him worried I saw him smirking at me. He took me in the bridal style. But I felt one of his hand under my dress. And after a moment I saw him put me down on my bed.

I felt him caressing my inner thigh. "Look y/n....if you know that you are weak you shouldn't take the hard way with the strong one" he said smirking at me. "W-what you saying?" I asked feeling weak. "I'm saying you should've accepted me when I gave you the proposal and not going for the hard way" he said. Was he...?? no no no...that can't be...

Before I could react he pressed his lips on mine. His kiss was so rough. He started undressing me. I tried to push him away but he was too strong and my body was betraying me.

He grabbed my boob and started squeezing it and I moaned in the kiss. Hearing my moan Gojo stopped the kiss and crashed his mouth on my breast. I moaned out loudly. He started sucking on my breast roughly. The more I moan the more roughly he sucks and  squeeze on my breasts."g-gojo please stop... I'm begging you please stop... you can't force like that " I begged. "I don't care about what you gonna say... you will be mine!!!...no one can stop me. I'm not sceared of anyone. You know I'm the strongest." He replied with a smirk.

After a while he let go off my breast. I was breathing heavily. He started undressing himself. He took off his shirt and pant. He was now only wearing his boxers. I can see the outline of his bulge through his boxers and there was a wet spot where the tip of his dick touched his boxer. Fear grabbed me by my neck.

His hand reached for my pantie and he ripped it off. He looked at my pussy hungrily. He parted my pussy lips with his fingers and crashed his mouth on it, sucking on it roughly. I moaned so loudly. I tried to push him away by pulling his hair but nothing nothing nothing. He just continued his work. He pulled back and lined himself with me."please please please no no no" I cried. "Shhh....this is the main fun part" he whispered and slammed his whole length in one slide without any warning."Gojo!!!!" I scremed and grabbed his back."oh my fucking god god god god god god......ahhhhhhhhhhh" he moaned out feeling my warm wet walls around him.

His thurst became harder and harder. I was an moaning and crying mess."you are so fucking...ahhh .... tight" he moaned out. With a few more thurst I came. dig my nails on his back. Feeling my warm wall clenching around him he came within a minute. "Now bring my babies and be mine forever" he said before pulling out. Then fell beside me....

"I'm gonna tell this to the higher ups" I said before I fainted. He cackled. "Y/n you are too innocent...do you think those old shits gonna do anything when the big two clans are having children together?" He said in a seductive tone.

Give me your requests guys....

I love when you give me your requests 💕

[butlervibesonly]

𝑇𝐻𝐴𝑇’𝑆 𝐴𝐿𝐿 𝑅𝐼𝐺𝐻𝑇, 𝑀𝐴𝑀𝐴 || 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐭 || Austin! Elvis story

PREVIOUS PART <- -> NEXT PART

• SUMMARY: Y/n’s father has enough of Elvis “ruining” his daughter but so does Y/n. She has enough of her father telling her what to do or not to do, so she just leaves.

• PAIRING: Austin! Elvis x female reader

• WARNINGS: arguing, slight angst, typos

• NOTE!! My acknowledge of Elvis is not so big, all things I know are from movie, documents, webs etc! So I deeply apologize for any mistakes/typos/misunderstanding that have nothing to do with reality. All of this is fic and has nothing to do with no one or anything. Based just on Austin's role of Elvis!Thank you for understanding! 🫶🏼

As weeks passed, you met Elvis more than 5 times again. You two spend some time in Graceland, or he took you to the backstage of his concert…. You were and are living the dream of any other girl your age. With that, your education dropped a little. You couldn’t basically study because only thing stuck in your mind is Elvis.

The clock on the wall ticks loudly in the tense silence. You are sitting by the table with your mother and father, his arms cross, his face red with frustration. Your university sent your parents a letter about a downfall of your grades. And they, especially your father, blames Elvis for that.

“Y/n, I don’t know what’s gotten into you!” he barks. “Your grades are slippin’, you’re missin’ assignments—this isn’t the daughter I raised!”

You take a deep breath, being in disgust. You don’t even want to finish dinner. “I’m still me, papa. I’m just... figuring things out.”

“Figuring things out!?” he echoes, his voice rising. “By skippin’ study sessions to fool with some… singer?! That man’s got you fooled, Y/n! He’s nothin’ but trouble!”

“That’s not true!” you shout back, your voice trembling.

“Y/n…” your mother starts to step in.

“He’s kind, and he cares about me—more than you do!”

Your mother stands up nervously “Maybe we should—”

“No!” he snaps, cutting her off. “She needs to hear this! That boy doesn’t care about her future! All he cares about is himself!”

Your eyes start to fill with tears, but you refuse to let them fall. “You don’t even know him!” you sob quietly. “He’s nothing like that. He believes in me!”

Your father slaps his hands into the table. “Believes in you to do what?! Throw away your education?! Your dreams?! For what, huh!? A few weeks of feelin’ special?”

“Papa, stop!” you cry out, your voice breaking. “You don’t understand! For the first time in my life, I feel like I can breathe, like I can be myself. With him, I’m not just some perfect little daughter trying to live up to your expectations!”

Your father’s expression hardens, his jaw tightening. “And what about your future? Are you just gonna toss it all away because some boy tells you what you want to hear?”

“It’s not like that!” you shake your head. “He supports me! He wants me to be happy, to figure out what I really want. Why can’t you do that?”

Your father’s voice drops, low. “Because I know where this road leads, Y/n. You think I haven’t seen this before? A man like him will take everything you’ve got and leave you with nothin’.”

“You know what, papa!? Since I’m such a trouble to you, I will leave! I will be with him because he will give me the love you’ve never given me!” you shout out, making the house silent. Your father stares at you for a while, his jaw clenching.

“Go, if you want. But if he tosses you away because he’s tired of you, don’t bother coming back.”

You stare at him, chest heaving. For a moment, neither of them spoke. Your mother gasps. “Y/f/n, don’t say that—”

“No, mama,” you begin, your voice steadier now. “If papa won’t trust me, won’t let me make my own choices, then maybe I need to leave.”

Your father’s face darkens, watching you as if you weren’t his little girl anymore but a big bug that needs to be stepped on.

“You can’t stop me now,” you say, chin lifting defiantly. “I’m not a child anymore. I’m all grown up. And if I have to leave to have a life of my own, then I will.”

Your mother steps forward, her hands wringing nervously. “Darling, please, let’s just talk about this!”

You shake your head, tears streaming down your cheeks now. “I’ve already made up my mind.” You walk upstairs into your room. Taking out the suitcases from beneath your bed, you start packing your stuff in it.

That night you called Elvis, telling him what happened and asking him if you can come to Graceland next day. Elvis, as you expected, said yes because - Graceland has its door open for you anytime.

The next day, as you are about to leave, your mother stop you for a moment. “Y/n, rethink this, please…” she begs, her hands on your shoulders. “That’s all right, mama… I know you’re nothing like papa, but I gotta go. I can’t live like this anymore…”

Your mother looks deeply into your eyes, as they fill with tears. She nods, understanding why you made that decision. “Yeah… Yeah, I guess it’s time for ya to spread your wings.” she says, pulling you into a tight hug. “My arms are always opened for you, Y/n. Just call me sometimes, so I know you’re alright.”

You nod, promising this to your mother. Suddenly you hear a familiar sound of Elvis’ pink Cadillac pulling up by the driveway of your house. You let go of your mother and take suitcases into your hands. “Thank you, mommy. I’ll be alright I promise.” you say, seeing tears escaping your mother’s eyes.

She just stands there, watching as you leave. As you walk to Elvis’ car he notices you carrying the bags and suitcases. He immediately gets out of the car and helps you. “Hi doll, you ‘aight?” he asks, taking the suitcases from you.

“Yea… Let’s just… leave.” Elvis waits for you to be seated in the passenger seat and close the door, before getting into the drivers seat. You look at your house for the last time, seeing your father watch you leave from the window, his arms crossed at his chest.

As Elvis starts driving away from your house, taking you to Graceland, you sit in the passenger seat beside him, fingers nervously twisting the hem of your dress. You gaze out the window, thoughts a whirl of emotions that you can’t seem to stop.

Elvis glances over at you, his jaw set in the way it always is when he is trying to figure something out. His knuckles tap lightly against the steering wheel, keeping time with the radio, though his attention is clearly elsewhere. He then stops the radio, as he needs to focus.

“Alright, darlin’,” he lets out finally, his voice soft but tangled with curiosity, “you gonna tell me what exactly happened?”

You sigh, your shoulders slumping. “Papa and I had fight last night as I said yesterday to telephone,” you admit, your voice quiet. He glances at you again, concern flickering in his eyes. “Yeah? ’Bout me, wasn’t it?”

“Not just you…” you clear out quickly, though the guilt is still clear in your tone. “It was about... everything. My grades, my future. He thinks I’m throwin’ my life away.” Elvis shakes his head in disbelief, his lips curving into a wry smile. “Sounds like he’s got his mind made up ’bout me, huh?”

You turn to look at him, your expression softening. “I was trying to prove him he is wrong about you. I tried to explain him everything. How much you want me to be happy, how much you love and how much you care.”

He chuckles softly, though there is a trace of sadness in his tone. “You’re sweet to say so, but men like your daddy? They see a fella like me and figure they’ve got it all worked out. Singin’ for a livin’, out late at night, women hollerin’ my name—I don’t exactly scream ‘reliable,’ do I?”

“It’s not fair,” you say, your voice rising slightly. “You’re not like that. You’re not just some... some selfish, reckless boy. You’re kind. You listen to me. You make me feel like I matter.”

His fingers tighten briefly around the steering wheel, and he glances at you again, his expression softening. “Ya do matter,” Elvis confirms. “Don’t let nobody make you feel otherwise, least of all your own daddy.”

You look down at your lap, throat tightening. “He doesn’t see it that way. He said I can go with you, but so I don’t bother coming back when you are tired of me…”

Elvis’ brows furrows and he shakes his head. “That’s harsh!” he laughs at your father’s naive attitude. “Doll, I will never get tired of ya. No matter what ya do, I will never throw ya away like this.”

You look up at him. “I couldn’t stay in that house no more, Elvis. I couldn’t keep bein’ the perfect little girl he wants me to be, never makin’ my own choices, never takin’ a chance on what I want.”

“What do ya want then, Satnin?” he asks, his voice quiet now.

You hesitate, as this question hits you again. But this time you know what you want – finally. “I want a life that’s mine. I want to make my own mistakes, find my own way. And right now... I want life with you in it.”

He doesn’t say anything at first, his thumb tapping the wheel. When he speaks, his voice is soft. “You sure, darlin’? That ain’t a light decision. Leavin’ your parents, comin’ with me—it’s a whole different world.”

“I know,” you reply firmly. “But I’ve already made up my mind.”

Elvis lets out a breath, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Well, I’d be a fool to say no to spending a life with ya.”

You smile softly, your heart filling with warmth and love. He reaches over to grab your hand, and briefly squeezes it. “Alright, then. Let’s get you settled, love.”

As Elvis pulls up in front of Graceland, you feel a strange sense of familiarity settling over you. Graceland in its own beauty with gentle hum of life looks just like the first time you’ve been there. This time, it almost feels... welcoming.

“Well, welcome home.” Elvis breathes out. “C’mon, darlin’. There’s somethin’ I wanna show ya.”

You widen your eyes when stepping out of the pink Cadillac, the crunch of driveway beneath your feet. “Something? What is it?”

Elvis just winks, grabbing your suitcases from the trunk. “You’ll see. Mama’s been fussin’ over it all mornin’.”

Inside of Graceland you are hit by the warm, that is wrapping around you like a hug. Gladys appears in the hallway, wiping her hands on her apron, her face lighting up when she sees you.

“There you are, sweetie!” she exclaims, pulling you into a tight hug. “Hello,Gladys,” you say, sharing the hug, cheeks warming.

Gladys pulls away from the hug, looking at you. “My poor girl, what has gotten’ into your papa…?” she asks, her hands on your shoulders. You just shake your head, not wanting to talk about it anymore.

“I see... Now, come on, both of you. We’ve got somethin’ to show you.” You glance at Elvis, but he just grins and motion for you to follow Gladys. She leads her upstairs, to a room she hadn’t been in before.

Gladys push to open the door. You step inside, your breath catching. The room is small but cozy. It looks like one big closet with all things that a girl like you needs. There is a table with big mirror, a vase with roses standing there, and closet revealing a few dresses.

You turn to them, your mouth opening and closing as you search for words. “What... what is this?”

Gladys chuckles. “It’s for you, honey. Figured if you’re gonna be spendin’ time here with us, you oughta have a space that’s yours. Somethin’ to make you feel really home.”

You look at Elvis, your eyes wide, almost filled with tears. “Did you do this?” He shrugs, a smirk appearing on his face. “Mama did most of it. I just helped a little.”

“Don’t let him fool you,” Gladys says with a laugh. “He was right there pickin’ out those dresses, makin’ sure we got the colors you’d like.”

Your cheeks burn as you turn back to the room, tears falling from your eyes. “I don’t know what to say. This is... it’s too much.”

“It ain’t too much,” Elvis says gently, stepping closer. “You deserve the best. Figured you could use a place to breathe, y’know? A place that feels like it’s yours.”

Tears falls from your eyes, and you quickly wipe them away, laughing softly. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

“Maybe not,” Elvis says with a grin. “But I wanted to.” Gladys touches your arm lightly. “You settle in, sweetheart. Lunch will be ready in an hour.”

With that Gladys disappears down the hall, leaving the twi of you alone. You turn to Elvis again, shaking your head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you did this.”

Elvis wraps his arms around you, his chin resting on your head. “You need to know that you got people in your corner now. Whatever you’re dealin’ with, you ain’t gotta do it alone. I will take the best care of ya, darlin’.”

Your chest tighten, and you step forward, wrapping your arms around him in response. He holds you close for just a moment, relaxing, his hands resting lightly on your back. “I will make sure you graduate the college, so your papa doesn’t sue me,” he says making you laugh. “You will have everythin’; everythin’ you’ll need or want. You’re in best hands, love.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, looking up at him. “Anytime, darlin’,” he said, his voice low and warm. For the first time in months, you let an exhale, the weight of the argument with your father easing just a little. You are not sure what the future holds, but in this moment, you feel like you might finally be able to find your place in it.

[thekhloediary]

What Comes Next?

Nicholas Chavez x Reader

This one is for you girlies! @oliviaambs @hoffmansgirl 💋

❝ You have eyes for him. But what happens when he catches you staring in class. . . ❞

The only reason I attended this class was because of him. Well, not really—I actually needed the credit, but he made coming to class worthwhile. It was the one class I was never late to or absent from. I always arrived bright and early, eager to see him.

Don’t get me wrong, I was a good student with good grades, but my focus in this class wasn’t solely on lectures, papers, and exams. It was on him. I would often sit in class, drifting off into daydreams about him or finding myself gazing at him for just a bit too long. I suppose you could call it a crush, but I would say intrigued if I had to use a word. I was drawn to him in a way my 19-year-old self didn’t even fully understand.

All I knew was that he sparked my interest like no one else had before. I didn’t dare tell him, but I did little things to catch his attention, like always participating in class discussions and always showing up looking my best. I made myself the perfect little student for him to notice.

If only he did.

“If you stare any harder, maybe he’ll feel it,” laughed my friend as we arrived at class Monday morning. She never missed an opportunity to poke fun at my fascination with Nicholas, our TA for the semester.

“Shut up,” I cut my eyes at her as we sat in our usual seats near the front center of the lecture hall.

The perfect view.

Nicholas was looking at something on the whiteboard, his broad shoulders and defined back, making me bite my lip as I thought how easily he could just lift me up and nail me to the board.

How I would let him do it.

How I wanted him to.

“Good morning…”

The sound of his voice suddenly brought me back from my thoughts.

“I’ll be leading the class today. We’ll get started in a moment.” Nicholas spoke and flashed a smile.

That smile. His voice. It was like I couldn’t get enough. All he had to do was speak and his voice could pull me in like a bee to honey. How could just his voice arouse me the way it did? The constant ache between my legs made me squeeze my thighs together. Oh, how bad I wanted him. He was the epitome of my type—attractive and intelligent.

Nicholas began presenting and I watched how he worked the room with ease, engaging our class like it was the most natural thing for him to do. He was so articulate and his charm was magnetic. He could pull you in and make any topic seem more interesting than it actually was. He had a way with words, and I could tell he was passionate about his work. He was great at teaching.

I was sure he was a great lover too.

All that passion.

The more he talked, the more I found myself concentrating less on what he was saying and more on him. The way he looked so good in his white shirt, and how I imagined he would look even better without it. The way he smiled whenever someone said something particularly interesting. The way he exuded this quiet confidence that was loudly sexy.

Suddenly, as if he sensed me looking, his eyes moved towards me. I realized I was staring at him quite brazenly. I quickly looked down when our eyes met and pretended to focus on my laptop. I felt like I could still feel his gaze on me, but perhaps it was just my imagination.

Nicholas finished presenting and then was around answering questions. As he talked to another student, I watched and soon found myself staring again. I tried to look away and focus on the work I was supposed to be doing, but the more I fought the urge to look, the harder it became. I was stuck. Did he know how hot he was? Did he know how he made me feel things with just his presence alone?

As I continued to look at him, it happened again, his eyes found my lingering gaze from across the room. A second passed, then another, and when I didn’t look away, he raised an eyebrow at me.

I was so caught.

But unlike earlier, I didn’t pretend like I wasn’t looking. I felt a sense of boldness that I’m not even sure where it came from. For the rest of class, I made deliberate eye contact, and whenever he looked my way, I gave him a suggestive little smile.

“Y/N,” I heard Nicholas call my name as class was dismissed.

“Yes,” I answered.

“Can you wait around a bit? I need to speak to you.”

“Sure,”

As soon as the last students left and we were alone, he came up to me. The scent of his cologne danced in my nose.

God, he smelled good.

“So…what did you need to speak to me about?” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound as nervous as I suddenly felt. I wasn’t so bold now.

“I need you to stop flirting with me.”

“I don’t think I know what you mean.” I played clueless.

He wasn’t buying it.

I wasn’t very convincing.

He let out a low chuckle. “I think you do.”

His eyes traveled down my body as he stepped closer. “Here’s the thing…” his voice low, almost a whisper in my ear, “I need you to stop because I don’t think you can handle what comes next.”

What comes next…

His words echoed through my ears like a warning shot, sending a shiver down my spine. They sounded dangerous yet piqued my interest. That was the thing with curiosity—once it got the best of you, you just had to find out.

What I should’ve done was listen, but I just couldn’t help myself. “What comes next?” I asked, keeping my voice steady, though inside I was shaking.

He got a pen and wrote something on a sticky note, then handed it to me. It was a number. His number.

“If you think you can handle it,” a teasing smirk as he challenged me.

And with that, he grabbed his backpack from off the chair and left, leaving me standing with his words and a pool of wetness.

Later that day, I sat in my dorm agonizing over that little yellow note. As I looked down at the number, my mind raced. Do I call? Text? Do nothing? Taking a deep breath, I picked up my cell and quickly touched the 10 digits on the keypad before I lost my nerve.

One ring.

Two.

His smooth voice filled my ear next.

“Hello.”

“Hey, it’s Y/N.”

“I've been waiting for you to call.”

“I’ve been waiting for you to notice,” It was meant to be just a thought, but the words left my head before I could even stop them.

“You think I don’t notice you?” Nicholas made a sound that seemed to say if you only knew. “Trust me, I notice. Way before today,” he confessed.

I felt a flutter in my stomach.

“Can I see you later?” he asked next.

Hell yes, I wanted to scream. But something stopped me.

“We probably shouldn’t do this,” I told him, suddenly feeling unsure. He was my TA after all. This wasn’t exactly appropriate.

“We’re not doing anything yet, sweetheart.”

The ‘yet’ sounded like a promise.

“We don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to,” Nicholas said before adding, “But you know you want to.”

And I did badly. I knew it. He knew it too. I could think of all the reasons why I should’ve said no, but my insides were screaming yes. Those three words from earlier echoing again.

What comes next…

I knew I had to find out.

The drive to his place was about a half hour away from campus, and the whole way there my nerves were jumping. About midway, I almost convinced myself to turn my car around.

I couldn’t fuck him, right?

Well, maybe just once…

Needless to say, I didn’t turn around, and when Nicholas opened the door, he was wearing a smirk on his face that told me he knew I would show up.

“Nice place,” I remarked as I stood in the living room, taking a look around his apartment.

“Thanks. You look nice,” Nicholas said as his eyes fell to my exposed legs. My choice of clothing—a denim mini skirt that left little to the imagination. “You always look nice,” he added with a smile.

I blushed.

He offered me something to drink and we chatted for a while, getting to know each other better. It was only a matter of time before we became really acquainted.

“You know…” Nicholas stood in front of me, running a hand along my thigh, my body heating under his touch, “I’ve been wanting to do this all night…”

My voice caught in my throat, but I somehow managed to speak. “Do what?”

He leaned in closer. I could feel what was coming so he didn’t have to say it. Our lips touched and all my doubts faded. I was sure I wanted this, and when his tongue brushed against mine, I knew I needed this. The kiss intensified, quickly becoming more urgent and passionate. He was an incredible kisser, his lips soft and perfect, and his tongue—the things that he did with his tongue. My god.

A single kiss turned into many, and somewhere in the midst of our lust fueled frenzy, our clothes came off. My breath hitched at the sight of him, my eyes taking in all his perfectly sculpted muscles. Fuck. I had to take a moment to question if any of this was really real. It was beyond anything I could’ve imagined.

And it only got better from here.

While our lips were still locked, he lifted me with ease, my legs wrapped around his waist as he walked us into his bedroom. With each step he took, the anticipation was increasing more and more. I wanted him and he wanted me just as bad. The second we were on the bed, his lips kissed me everywhere—on my neck, my breasts, kissing down my stomach, his tongue heating every part of my body it touched.

“I think you need to be taught a lesson,” Nicholas told me in a low voice that sent another rush of heat through me.

“And what lesson would that be, Mr. Professor?” I teased.

His laugh was low and sexy. “What happens when you flirt,” a wicked smile as he looked up at me. “You wanted my attention?”

He didn’t wait for a response.

“Let me show you what happens when you get it.” He lowered his head and pressed his lips to my inner thigh. “I bet you taste so good.”

My body was raging now, blazing with a fire that only he could put out.

A few more teasing kisses along the inside of my thigh, and then I felt it, his warm breath against my pussy. My body shuddered as the first touch of his tongue sent a rush of pleasure surging through me. Oh God. How could it feel so good? Had it ever felt this good with anyone else? His mouth was immaculate, devouring me with expertise and an eagerness that told he was enjoying this just as much as I was.

I was getting so close to the edge, each lick bringing me closer and closer. While his tongue circled my clit, he slipped in a finger, and then two, doubling the pleasure, making me gasp. I was unraveling quickly, his fingers delving deeper and pumping harder, hitting every right spot until…

“…Oh my god,” I cried out.

“Good girl, just like that,” he groaned, his tongue still moving against my pussy.

I let out a series of breathy moans as orgasmic waves crashed into me. One wave after another, they didn’t stop, and neither did he. I half tried to get away, but he moved his hands to my hips, holding me in place. His tongue continued to work me mercilessly, making me squirm and whimper in sweet torture until I couldn’t take anymore.

When my body convulsed, Nicholas was finally satisfied enough to stop. He pressed a soft kiss to the inside of my thigh before moving back up to meet my lips in a kiss that stole what little breath I had left.

“Still with me, sweetheart?” a satisfied smirk on his face as he looked at me.

I wasn't even sure if I still was. His tongue had just sent me into oblivion.

I nodded breathlessly.

“Good, cause I’m not done with you yet,” he promised.

And then I felt the hard press of him against me. I gasped as he pushed into me, the feel of him beyond words. He started slowly, letting me savor each stroke, each one just as pleasurable as the last.

“Fuck,” he groaned, pushing deeper, filling me completely.

“It feels so good,” I whimpered.

My words seemed to spur him on because he started to move faster and harder, killing my pussy in all the best ways possible. I was sure that nothing else could feel better. The pleasure was consuming me. I was getting close again. And from the way his breaths were quickening and his movements increasing, he was getting there too.

“I’m so close,” I moaned, meeting his every stroke with a rock of my hips.

“Cum for me, baby,” he groaned.

Then I was there, crying out, clenching around him tightly as he sent me over the edge. He buried his face in my neck and let out the sexiest sound I’d ever heard as he gave me one last stroke before he followed me off the edge.

It was amazing.

For a moment, we didn’t move or speak. All that was heard was the sounds of our breaths.

“That was—” I started, but my voice trailed off breathlessly.

“Fucking incredible,” he finished and placed a kiss on my forehead. “Stay the night?” he asked.

I didn’t have to think twice. Tonight had been everything I wanted and more.

What came next?

Was perfect.

Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed it! Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated -Khloe ♡

[solacescastleglow]

You're Not Lazy, You're: A Daydreamer

So, you're addicted to daydreaming, to the point where you're putting aside important real life things in favour of talking to yourself. You're sitting there, watching life pass you by, desperately trying to fill the void with people you made up in your head. Your outer life is starting to look less and less like how you thought it would be, and the worst part is, there's nothing and no one to blame.

I've been there. In fact, when I was 12, it was so bad I literally didn't care at all about my family, I had no friends, and my grades were abysmal, but I was convinced I would be fine because 'at least I have my mind'. What I didn't realise was that I had lost control of even that. Now I still daydream, but I've become much more able to cope, and I can work around it to the point it no longer affects my day-to-day life. What was maladaptive daydreaming has become immersive daydreaming. If you're in the same situation, here are a few tips to get out of that hole for good.

(Remember, this is much easier said than done, so don't feel bad if this doesn't start helping right away. Also, this is not a substitute for therapy.)

Less daydreaming

1. Eliminating the need

I'm gonna be honest, this is the hardest part. Your daydreaming came about for a reason; it's kept you alive and safe for all this time. Daydreaming is a coping mechanism. The problem comes when it becomes your only or primary coping mechanism, and your comfort zone becomes so small that you're using it all the time. Start with the negative things in your life that caused you to start daydreaming. What are they? How can they be mitigated or resolved? What are some other coping tools you can use to get through them? For me, a big part of the reason was unchangeable (untreatable illness), but some of it could have something done about it. I started medication for my mental health, switched schools, went to therapy. Am I cured? No. Did it take a long time? Yes. But was it worth it? Absolutely.

2. Attention span and comfort zone work

Now that your negative situation is ameliorated, it's time to work on getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. When you don't daydream after a certain amount of time or coming across a trigger, you start to get restless and irritable. You're, unfortunately, just going to have to sit in that emotion for a little bit. Just 5 minutes. If the trigger is media or a conversation topic, try your absolute hardest not to let your mind wander. After that 5 minutes or when the conversation is over, you can excuse yourself to go daydream. Doing this repeatedly will slowly make your brain able to go longer between daydreaming sessions, which means you can function better in your outer life.

3. Don't limit daydreaming, expand your outer life

If you're anything like me, the thought of stopping completely makes you panic. This isn't a great sign overall, but if you feel terrible whenever you don't escape, it disincentivises you from living your life. Instead, start surrounding yourself with people: spending every evening with your housemates, having an accountability partner for work, going on walks in public. The self consciousness alone is usually enough for me to not daydream, so basically I'm just giving myself less time to drift off. Bonus points if it's an activity that gets you where you want or need to go.

4. Grounding

I know, I know. It's uncomfortable when you know that's what you're doing. I personally hate the 54321 method. But you know what does work for me? This one TikTok (I can't find it) where the lady in the video tells you to look at the corner of the screen and tell what time it is, then asks questions like 'what's to the left of the screen?' and 'what are you wearing?' That snaps me right back to the present. The moment you notice yourself drifting off, look at a clock. Then look down at what you're wearing. Then take a second to describe what you're seeing to yourself and do some kind of tactile stimulation (rubbing your hands together or tapping your lap, for example).

More doing

1. Life direction audit

Your daydreams are clues to what you want out of life. Use them to guide how you want your outer life to go:

How does daydreaming make you feel? How can you emulate that without daydreaming?

Related to your daydream self's career, how does it make you feel to think of yourself getting paid to do that in your outer life? What steps can you take to get yourself there, or closer to it?

What can you do to cultivate friendships that are meaningful to you on the same level as your daydream friends? If you have outer friends, what's the most realistic scenario that would play out if you said, "I need more (support/connection/in-person time) out of this relationship"?

Are there any significant personal differences between your daydream self and your outer self? Are you a different gender, do you have a different style of dress, do you have any skills or hobbies you don't actually have? Is there anything that you would do, if only you had the [time/money/energy/certainty that this is the right thing to do/ability to get through hard things]?

Based on what you've written down, make a 10 year plan, then from that a 5 year plan, then from that a 1 year plan. Once you have your yearly plan you have options: split it up into quarters, months, weeks, or some other way. Either way, eventually you'll want to get it down to what you can do on a daily or even hourly basis to make your daydream self your reality.

2. Do it daydreaming, but do it

Now, do it. Sounds way easier than it is, but when I say do it, I mean do it any way you can. Do it upset, complaining, bored, frustrated, scared, badly, adapted to fit your abilities, in a way other people think is weird, crying the whole time, late, embarrassed, inconsistently, from your bed. Do it partway, then decide you want something else out of life. Do it when it's easy, and if you really want it, do it when it's hardest. Do something similar to it if what you want is unattainable. You can even do it with one foot in your daydream world.

As long as you're trying to do what makes you happy (and I mean the real kind of happy, not the kind that's always tinged with the grief that it's all in your head), any amount of effort you put into it is worthwhile.

3. Incentives

I was going to say to follow your plan and not your mood, but that's really hard. What you need is to find a way to make yourself follow that plan happily. For me, that's setting difficult monthly challenges for myself and getting rewards if I complete them. The challenge makes me want to do it because I want to prove my inner critic wrong. Do whatever works for you, because even if it sounds silly, it's not silly if it works.

4. Check ins

Every so often, re-evaluate where you're going. I know I just said to do it bored and frustrated, but if the whole thing is boring and frustrating and there are no upsides, don't keep at it. Check that you're actually happy with the direction your life is going.

---

And that's all I have for you. Remember, daydreaming can still be a healthy part of your life, it's the inability to stop it that's the problem. You can learn to balance it. I believe in you.

[tojifile]

Hey, can I make a request for your event?

Fyodor x fem!reader, except he's madly in love with her but doesn't accept it bc he thinks it's useless :)

@Fyodor Dostoevsky . . . (＾-＾)

Tags: smitten!fyodor, fluff, angst if you squint, gn!reader, domestic Fyodor, kinda ooc, vol 14+ doesn’t exist, yandere themes if you get 400+ graded glasses

A/N: Hello anon !! I’m so sorry this took so long, probably 2-4 months (?) I’ve been so busy with school that I just didn’t have time for requests. I’ll treat my fics like those “mafia!dazai who…” type of posts, if that makes sense. I know it’s a big change from my old writing style but I really hope you would still like it :))

smitten!fyodor who met you while walking around Yokohama. He asked you for directions one day and as faith would have it that was the exact place you were going to as well. Although, he didn’t actually need directions, he just wanted to test his skills in deceit.

“Excuse me miss, pardon me for being a bother. Could you please tell me where the nearest train is?” You softly smiled at the gentleman who had gotten your attention. “Of course, I was just heading there myself, you could just follow me if you’d like.”

smitten!fyodor who was fond of the way you spoke to him in such a polite manner. It was endearing to have someone be so courteous (bare minimum, I know).

smitten!fyodor whose voice you couldn’t forget. Softer than silk yet even the sun itself would revolve around its gravity.

smitten!fyodor who “accidentally” bumps into you from time to time. It’s been going on for several months now and during the first few times you jokingly accused him of stalking you.

“Fyodor-san? This is the fourth time this month, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were stalking me!” You teased. He responded to your joke with a small chuckle.

smitten!fyodor who denies feeling anything for you since he thinks it would hinder his plans for a better world. He constantly tells himself that it’ll pass, but each day he spends with you feels like a dream.

smitten!fyodor who reassures himself that this was all part of his master plan; that you were just another pawn in his epic chess match with Dazai. Surely someone as simple as you couldn’t destroy his plans, right?

smitten!fyodor who tells himself that keeping you happy is all part of his mission to save the world. When he’s overthinking his actions around you he tells himself that he only keeps you happy because a world where you’re sad confuses and frustrates him—oops, wrong thought!

What frustrates him further is the fact that he can no longer tell himself that you’re just a pawn. He never has internal struggles, so how could you do this to him? For years and years he chased his ideals. He tried to attain the unattainable, he never thought something as simple as affection could be that unattainable thing.

smitten!fyodor who saw you on a date with somebody else and he felt like that was God’s way of telling him that he should continue to fulfill his mission rather than chase someone who clearly doesn’t like him back.

Comment 🪩 to be on my taglist !

[hhughes]

Need Jack and Nico trying to convince her

“c’mon vi, don’t you wanna see your favourite devil in action?” nico asks with a grin, knowing jack and luke were gonna protest that statement

“okay, captain dimples, relax. we all know im her favourite devs player. right vi?” jack cuts in shoving nico lightly from their position on the couch as he leans closer to the computer screen

“sure jacky, you’re my favourite,” violet admits, looking at luke and sending him an exaggerated wink, causing the taller boy to smile slightly. god he missed her. even though he saw her at the detroit game only a few days ago.

he couldn’t describe to anyone what it was like, going from being with her 24/7 to seeing her maybe once a month, if he’s lucky. jack calls them out all the time for being “codependent” or wherever but if jack ever met a girl he wanted to spend more than one night with, he’d understand luke’s frustration.

even then, he’s not really sure jack would understand the extent of how much luke was missing her. they’ve known each other practically their entire lives and haven’t gone without seeing each other for more than three weeks max since grade 9. long distance fucking sucked, and he definitely wasn’t built for it. but he didn’t even feel like he could tell her that, because violet was a pro at just about anything she set her mind to, long distance included.

their phone calls were always filled with everything she’s been up to from classes, to dance, to coaching dance, to the big win the guys pulled off against ohio and the party afterwards. if she didn’t tell him that she missed him about 20 times during the call, he wouldn’t be able to tell that she does, probably because she’s so busy and she doesn’t even realize how much time passes before they see each other again. but luke’s busy too, and it still feels like forever for him.

sometimes it felt like she had this whole other life in michigan that he just wasn’t apart of anymore and you would think since this is their second year of long distance they would be at least a little used to it by now, but luke still gets chest pains just thinking about it.

“look guys I gotta go. I honestly don’t think I can swing it but I’ll think about it okay. just don’t get your hopes up,” violet says and all three guys nod

“even if you can’t swing the vancouver game, come to one of the home games soon then. s’a lot closer than van. i’ll fly you in myself, miss you,” jack mumbles, and violet smiles at him. her and jack had grown closer this past summer (if that was even possible) and she had missed him almost as much as her boyfriend these last few weeks.

“miss you too jacky,” violet replies and luke leans forward, reaching to grab the laptop and perching it on his lap so only he’s in the camera, despite the other two guys still sitting next to him

“okay baby. i’ll talk to you soon yeah? probably wednesday when we’re with quinn. i’m sure he’d love to say hi. i love you, get some rest,” luke says, heart squeezing when violet leans forward and kisses the camera

“miss you so much lu. and I love you so so much. i’ll text you tonight okay?” she greets, ending the call when luke nods in response.

“man I don’t know if I liked it more when you guys were oblivious to how in love you were or now that you’re so obvious about it,” jack states, fake gagging and their captain lets out a chuckle

“what was the story of you guys in high school and college anyway? i’ve heard a lot of things. . .” nico says and luke frowns at him

“heard a lot of things from who?” he asks, wondering whose been going around taking about his relationship.

“sheamo mostly. some of the guys have been asking him what you were like in college,” nico says and luke shrugs

“not much to tell really. we’re childhood friends, caught feelings, got together,” luke says and jack scoffs

“sure. you’re missing the 5 or 6 years where you guys were silently pining for one another just because you wouldn’t admit you had feelings,” jack says and luke sighs, rolling his eyes at his brother and getting up from the couch as jack begins to tell nico all the details he knows, not in the mood to stroll down memory lane on how long it took him and vi to pull their heads out of their asses.

“swear hockey players gossip more than the old ladies at grandmas weekly book club,” luke mutters, making his way to his room, planning to look at the calendar and arrange a time to fly his girl out.