#still i tell myself that I only want a passing grade

[durchdenspiegel]

29.04.2024

After the stress of writing my first draft, somehow the editing still feels a bit daunting. I still have a few unfinished sentences I need to figure out as well as my conclusion… but even if it feels different, the worst is really over 🌸

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

[itsrlymine]

idk if you’ve answered this before or if it’s something you may not want to answer but i was wondering how your journey from the early stages of finding out about manifesting up until knowing you’re the operant power and your full potential was like

my manifesting journey so far

Hello my love! I think I just haven't seen the question yet but I would love to answer!

As far as I'm concerned, I knew manifesting as manifesting around the time I was 18 and in my first year of university. But ofc, I was manifesting the whole time before. The university I went to had the lowest acceptance percentage ever but I still managed to get in even with my grades that didn't meet their requirements and i didn't even do the college essay that everyone else had to do. I remember just deciding over and over that I would go there no matter what anybody said. I was told it was expensive and I didn't care, I was gonna go anyways. It was $40k/yr at the time and I got $36k worth of scholarship....... I just thought that was just luck.

Before then, I was obsessed with One Direction and 5 Seconds Of Summer like y'all it was bad! I wanted to see them in concert so freakin bad, it was like my life depended on it. I literally manifested them coming to my state and to a city that people don't really tour all the time and yall!!!!! I was like right in front of them and I def passed out hearing Zayn sing live. I saw both bands live together, it was incredible. I used subliminals to clear my skin in high school as well but eventually forgot about them.

I think having my dad tell me I could do anything I wanted is what lead me to believe that if I wanted something, it was automatically mine.

In college, I would always have s*x with the guys i wanted just by visualizing or saying they wanted me sooo bad (still works now!). I would make up friend groups in my head and then find that i would be in them not even two weeks later. I watched "The Secret" in my first year and that was really transformational for me bc I always felt like I was failing God and my family bc I didn't want to go the medical route/even finish college.

The summer of 2021, I was 22 and at home with my parents and broke asf and i said no more! I started consciously manifesting again even though I didn't know that's what it was called. I decided I would get a job in marketing that would pay me over $70k/yr even though I had one month of experience and only certifications in the field. Did that matter??? Of course not!!!!! It was remote and had unlimited pto and i could go on as many vacations a year as I wanted. I found out about the law a month after I started my job but for some reason, it felt so complicated and I found myself trying so damn hard rather than just reminding myself how I got what I wanted before. literally inner conversations, visualizing and talking out loud about my desires.

What made me realize I could manifest anything was when I changed my menstrual cycle and went to Dubai for free twice. What the 3d looks like never matters especially when it came to my cycle, I deadass couldn't see how my internal organs would change according to what I wanted but ofc they changed anyways. it was shortened and I haven't had cramps in months. Going to Dubai for free by imagining Abdullah slamming the door in my face and telling me I was in Dubai. I literally made a pinterest board of where I'd go in Dubai and I went to every single place. I would tell myself over and over that I'm gonna leave my wallet at home because everyone was gonna pay for me bc we are rich asf duh!. When I tell y'all that's exactly what happened!!!!

I've manifested so other "crazy" stuff but yea these ones definitely altered my brain chemistry.

[comicwritesstuff]

okay this is so incredibly specific so please feel free to ignore BUT i’ve been wanting to read a fic for ages where the reader is Chase’s childhood best friend from Australia and she moves to New Jersey for a fresh start. She’s staying with Chase while she gets settled, and one day she comes to visit him at lunch at the hospital, where she ends up meeting House and he’s… intrigued by her 👀 either romantic or smut would be so very cool :^D <33 💐

YES. I LOVE THIS PROMPT IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT IM FINISHED!!!

Gregory House x Fem!Chases bsf!Reader

Warnings: None really, just cussing and tooth rotting fluff >:) 3k+ words.

Chase's POV: 

“Well I was just wondering if we could go out sometime, I think you're really-” My attention shifted as y/n's call lit up my phone, interrupting the conversation. It was a more pressing matter than pursuing a one-night stand.

“Excuse me for a moment.” I say walking away, the woman having an annoyed look on her face. 

I answer the phone.

“Hello, y/n? Whats up” 

“Chase! Long time no talk haha.”

“You called me yesterday.”

“Learn to take a joke, anyways, I have some exciting news for you.”

“I’m moving to New Jersey!!” 

“Wait what? Really?”

“Yeah, I kinda forgot to tell you and i'm actually at the airport right now, so I hope you aren't busy tomorrow so you can pick me up.”

“Wow, um alright, yeah I can pick you up, do you have a place to stay?"

“Um…no…” I sigh, “Just stay at mine for now.”

“Don't even with the sigh i’ve known you my whole life you can put the nightly hookups on hold for your best friend.” 

I smirk and shake my head, “Yeah yeah, I’ll see ya tomorrow y/n” 

Y/N’s POV:

I smile as I hang up with Chase, grabbing my luggage and pulling it along the airport. Ahh yes, crying babies, rushed parents, annoying couples and that one insanely attractive person you see for a split second, I love the airport. 

Glancing at my ticket I realize I might have to hurry to make it to the gate, speed walking I see a text from chase, “Have a safe flight.” Let's hope so. 

Time skip (to lazy to write all the details about fucking airports)

Relaxing on a 21-hour flight proved challenging, especially with a toddler nearby. It was unclear whether the toddler would be a source of annoyance or just be tolerable. The flight just started. So to entertain myself I decide to do some digging about Chase's job, he brags about it all the time and the infamous Dr Gregory House. To be honest I thought Chase was gay for a little while with how much he talks about him. Still speculating. 

The plane lifts off and I start my look, at first just looking up Gregory House, a surprising amount of things show up. An article titled, “Gregory House, Talented Doctor? Or a lying Narcissist?” Oh well that's a good first impression.   

Scrolling down I see another article, “The world's greatest doctor, and his deepest secrets” 

Now that's enticing. I click on it only to find out his deepest secrets, including using 3 in one shampoo and how his leg got hurt. I guess people hardly know anything about him. I click on the photos of him, there's only a couple, most of them blurry but to be honest he's pretty good looking from the photos I can see. I’d honestly be gay for him if I was Chase. 

The toddler next to me starts giggling, I glance at her and notice her staring at a picture of House. She's kicking her feet too. That's so relatable. 

For the rest of the flight I find some stuff about this guy named Taub, who somehow also figured out that he cheated on his wife which is why he had to quit. How did I find that out? I took a coding class in 8th grade. (I got lucky) 

Lisa Cuddy the Dean of Medicine, unfortunately only good stuff about her, boring. 

Remy Hadley, oddly, can't find anything on her. 

Eric Foreman, his brothers in jail, fun. 

And the others are just as boring. For the remainder of the flight, the toddler proved surprisingly chill. I passed the time by binge-watching random movies I had downloaded earlier

*Another time skip to plane landing* 

Finally, 21 hours on a fucking plane is horrible. 

I check my phone after I take it off airplane mode, seeing a text from chase a couple minutes ago. 

“I’m at the airport, is your flight done?”

“Yep, wya.”

“I’m parked in the front.”

“That's specific” 

“There's no other front dumbass”

I roll my eyes at his text, and get off the plane as soon as I can. I walk out and see Chase standing outside his car waiting for me. His eyes light up as he spots me, and a grin spreads across his face. Unable to resist, I rush forward and envelop him in a bear hug.

“Man you’re a lot uglier in person” 

I say jokingly, smirking.

“Oh shut up”  

We climbed into his car, and he drove us back to his apartment. When we arrive he helps get my crap into the house, before he gets a call saying he had to head to work. 

Eventually a week or two passes, I've gotten more comfortable in his apartment, applied for a bunch of jobs, and looked for places to stay so I’m not invading his “man” space anymore. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of options, and no jobs have replied to my applications, which is weird since im overqualified, it's almost like they aren’t even getting my applications in the first place. 

I’m doing the dishes when I get a text from Chase.

“Hey, I left my wallet on the counter, so I don’t have money for food, could ya bring it for me?” 

“Nah”

“See you soon”

I breathe out a laugh and grab his wallet, putting a coat on then driving to the hospital. 

When I get there I walk in, looking around before I call Chase, “Where do I go this place is huge” I can hear talking in the background, actually more like arguing. “Uhm just wait at the entrance i’ll be right there.” He says in a whisper.

He hangs up so I just stand there awkwardly waiting, that was a weird ass phone call. To be fair Chase is a weird ass guy with weird ass coworkers so what do I expect at this point. 

Before I see Chase I see Dr Gregory House, limping quickly towards me. And damn he’s even hotter in person than the pictures I saw of him. 

“Hey, no time to explain, you need to come with me.” He grabs my arm dragging me into the elevator. Before it closes I see Chase come out of the stairway, he sprints towards the elevator but it closes. I hear him trying to say something, but it's muffled and I can’t understand it. Wait why the fuck did I even follow House? 

“You're real compliant, you’d make a great hooker.” 

I turn around and side eye him.

“Thanks, so would you.” I say giving a fake smile. 

“Speaking of compliant, why did you drag me away from Chase? What's going on?’’

“I made a bet with Chase.”

“That's really specific and helpful thanks” 

“Oh yeah no problem” 

Sarcastic asshole. 

“If you don’t tell me, I'll stop following you and go with Chase.” 

He rolls his eyes.

“Fine, Mom! The bet is that I can convince you to work as my assistant here.”

“Really? That's it? I need a job. Why would Chase even bet against that?” 

“He thinks you’ll fall in love with me so he doesn’t want that to happen, in his words, “She has a thing for homeless looking, narcissistic assholes with beards.” So he’s trying to prevent it, and he’s sure he can.”  

Damn- I feel so called out. I stay silent before nodding.

“Well to be honest he isn’t wrong.” 

I see House smirk before we get out of the elevator, he hobbles and leads me to his office, locking the door then having me sit down. 

As I sit down in front of his desk, he grabs a ball and starts throwing it against the wall, while sitting down. 

“So are you gonna interview me or something?” 

“Yeah, I’m just waiting for Chase to get back up here so he can watch me interview you.” 

He really is an asshole…it's kinda hot though. 

“Fair enough.” 

We wait a bit before Chase comes jogging up to the door, out of breath, he’s clearly been running plenty. He starts banging on the glass door that House previously locked.

“House!! Y/N! Let me in! This isn’t fair!” He exclaims, House is grinning when he leans over his desk, crossing his arms.

“Okay! Let’s start this interview now.” 

“Y/n! You traitor!” 

Did I abandon my childhood best friend for some disabled doctor? No, I did it for the job. At least that's what I'm telling myself.   

Turning my attention back to House instead of the Australian cry baby outside the door, he asks me, “First question, do you want the job of being my assistant?” 

“Obviously”

“Great! You have the job!” 

I mean, easy enough. I smile and shake my head. This hospital really has some unique people. 

House shakes my hand, grinning as Chase is sitting on the floor defeated outside. 

As the days turned into weeks at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, I got to know everyone. Cuddy had to actually approve of me working as House’s assistant first, but once she saw a…normal enough individual, she welcomed me into the environment.

Getting to know House better, I found myself drawn to him in ways I hadn’t really expected. The bet between House and Chase, Chase thinking I would fall for House, I took it as a joke, until that joke turned more into reality. 

Despite House being a narcissistic piece of shit, there were small moments that I saw, or shared with him that made me fall for him. Ones where he seemed happy, or just easy to be around. At work he's serious but when Wilson dragged him out to bars, or other social environments, he could actually be fun. And though him being a dick is undeniably attractive sometimes, when he was…”himself” that's how I began to fall for him.  

One day, after an especially tough day for the team, and being forced to go break into houses and get coffee and food, I found myself alone with House in his office. The rest of the team had left, leaving us in a rare moment alone with each other. As I glanced up from the medical chart of the most recent patient, I caught House’s gaze lingering on me, his blue eyes intense and unreadable. 

“Something on your mind, House?” I asked, attempting to break the awkward silence between us. 

He smirked, leaning back in his chair with a casual ease, “Oh just wondering why a catch like yourself doesn’t have a boyfriend, or husband?” He responds, his tone laced with flirtatiousness.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at his response, a faint blush on my cheeks. House and I had gained an uncanny camaraderie, made from me running around doing everyone's paperwork, being the designated “you get to tell patients they are dying!!” person. And as you’d expect people didn’t respect me a lot, but if someone was blatantly mean to me, House would step in and destroy their self esteem in a second and walk away like it meant nothing. That's another thing that I think made me fall for him. 

“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself that a lot too.” I smile, placing the medical chart on his desk. 

“Do you want a boyfriend? Or girlfriend, or a pet or something.” He quips, his eyes looking like they are reading me, studying my every movement and reaction to what he’s saying, it's flattering and uncomfortable at the same time. 

“A boyfriend would be nice.” I say reassuringly, a laugh escaping me as I shake my head in amusement.

“Alright let's say *hypothetically* I asked you out. *hypothetically* what would your response be?” 

Raising an eyebrow I ask, “Are you trying to go on a date with me?”

“I said hypothetically, now answer the question.” 

A smirk plays on my lips as I roll my eyes in a mock annoyance. 

“Well.” I say, “Hypothetically, I would say yes.” 

“Great, meet me for dinner at (some random fancy place idk u make up a name i'm too lazy to), wear something cute.” 

 With that, he sauntered out of the office, leaving me to think about what just happened. Glancing at the clock, I realized I had just enough time to get ready for our “hypothetical date.” 

The anticipation bubbled within me, standing outside (IDK A RESTAURANT NAME IT), waiting for House to arrive. My heart raced with nervous excitement, unsure what to expect from a…unique…guy like House. I had used all the time I had to work on my outfit, settling for a simple dress (or suit, or just anything you're comfy in :) ). 

As I scanned the busy street, searching for any sign of House, I heard the obnoxiously loud sound of a motorcycle approaching. House rode in, parking his bike before getting off and walking (limping) towards me. My breath caught in my throat as I saw him, he looked impossibly handsome, in a tailored suit that made his rugged charm come out, good god he looked fine. 

“Y/n,” he greeted with a warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners in genuine affection. “That outfit makes your ass look nice.” 

I scoff playfully, hitting his arm. “So much for acting like a gentleman, at least you look like one.” 

He chuckled, offering me his arm in a more gentlemanly gesture. “Yeah yeah, shall we?” 

With a nod, I looped my arm through his, savoring the warmth of his touch as we mad our way into the restaurant. The ambiance was elegant and inviting, with a soft candlelight casting a warm glow over the decor. 

As we were seated at a table in a quiet corner of the restaurant, I couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement in my chest. I’m finally going out with House, damn Chase was totally right. 

Throughout the evening, our conversation flowed surprisingly easily between us. I had half expected him to be rude or stuck up, but he seemed actually interested in me, in my life. He was asking questions, laughing and joking with me. Sharing stories of his own, and treating me like an actual human. Honestly it was scaring me a bit, but it was making me fall harder for him. 

House raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in his eyes. ‘So, tell my Y/N. What’s the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?” 

I laughed, shaking my head as I thought about the memory. “Well, there was this one time in college-” 

“Let me guess,” House interrupted, a smirk playing on his lips. “It involved copious amounts of alcohol and very questionable decisions?” 

I chuckle and nod in agreement. “You could say that. Long story short, I ended up streaking through the campus fountain at three in the morning. I'm pretty sure Chase might still have a video of it still.”

House raises an eyebrow, an amused laugh coming from him. “I wish I could say I was surprised, oh and also. I am finding that video.” He states, with a determined and mischievous grin. 

The dinner continues and our connection just seems to get stronger, fueled by shared laughter, stories of shit Wilson and him did in college, things Chase and I did in highschool. With each passing moment, I found myself more and more under House’s spell, captivated by the complexity of himself, his character. His gaze, laughter, even his personality. Maybe it was the wine or something, but House was being nice, he had charisma, and was being attractive in general.  

I don’t even realize that we’ve spent almost three hours in the restaurant just talking. I check my phone seeing that it's 9:30 already. We had got and paid the check awhile ago, but had stayed to talk longer. The restaurant closes at 10, and I felt a sudden pang of disappointment that our date was close to being over with. I didn’t want it to end, I was savoring this moment I was having, this seemingly perfect night. 

When the waiter arrived to take our dessert order, I couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that the evening was drawing to a close. I wasn't ready for it to end—I wanted to savor every moment, to prolong the magic of our time together for as long as possible.

House notices my look of disappointment, “I’m aware how amazing I am, but if its up to me, this won’t be our last date.” 

A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth, my cheeks heating up as I blush. The butterflies in my stomach going absolutely insane. 

So with a quick glance around the restaurant, I rose from my seat, House grabbed my hand as he led me towards the exit. 

Stepping out into the cool night air, I felt a sense of happiness coursing through me. This was it, the beginning of a new relationship, a surprisingly healthy one so far. 

As House’s hand tightened around mine, his touch sent sparks of electricity coursing through my veins. I knew now that maybe Chase knows me better than I know myself, in all fairness he predicted this, but right now I wasn’t afraid to admit this, to admit the undeniable attraction that I had towards Dr Gregory House. 

His touch leaves mine, his hand pulling as we stand in front of the restaurant, close to each other, staring in each other's eyes. I glance at his lips before leaning in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, not sure if he expected it, but I pull back.

“Goodnight House. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that I walk away, to my car. When I get in my car, I look in the mirror, seeing House standing there with a lovestruck grin, one a child would have over some school crush. But it was cute, he was cute. And this was just the beginning of an annoyingly predicated relationship with a Vicodin addicted, asshole, who I suspect has a soft spot for me.

[strzlun]

TUTORING

// nishimura riki //

pairing: rebellious!ni-ki x class president!femreader

word count- 4.2k

genre/cw- fluff, slight angst, slice of life, tutoring sessions, arguing, reader and ni-ki are enemies(?), realization, confessions, school setting, falling in love, ni-ki hates everyone but reader

summary- Ni-ki’s notorious reputation soon changed it’s course because of simple tutoring

________________________________________________________

You and Ni-ki could be considered as the cliche bad boy and good girl trope. He was the student that created nonstop ruckus which you always had to shut down. You were class president, so that meant having to keep everything in check during school hours.

It was no surprise hearing Ni-ki had despised you. You expected it but didn’t care enough to dwell on it. Simply, you and Ni-ki were never meant to get along.

So imagine the despair you had hearing that you would have to tutor Ni-ki in order for him to pass. You wanted to crawl into a hole and never show your face again, but you only gave a tight smile before being dismissed.

You wondered how you would even approach Ni-ki about his tutoring session, he was rarely ever in school and whenever he was he avoided you like you’re a plague.

You somehow wished for a miracle that Ni-ki would just be accepting of the tutoring session in order for him to pass.

When you walked into class, you saw minimum students still lingering in there. It was the end of the day so it was expected everyone would be out the door by the mere sound of the dismissal bell.

The few students greeted you before grabbing their own bags and leaving the classroom. You were going to grab your own belongings and leave but you gasped when you saw Ni-ki asleep on his desk with his headphones on.

No one had woken him up when school ended? You knew Ni-ki and the other students didn’t necessarily get along with each other but you thought they would have some decency and wake him up.

You gulped nervously before softly tapping his arms that he used as a pillow. When your attempt failed, you shook his arm hoping that would be enough to wake him up.

When you realized he was still fast asleep, you shook him a little harder while calling out his name. Even with those attempts, his sleeping figure never faltered.

You sighed before giving a shove to his body while yelling out ‘riki’ instead of the name he preferred. This was the successful trial as he groggily opened his eyes and raising his head to take in his surrounding.

He looked around the empty classroom but when his gaze landed on you he scowled. What a thoughtful response, after being the one who woke him up.

He didn’t even say a word, he grabbed his backpack and stood up from his desk to walk out of the classroom. You grumbled under your breath before calling out his name, you still needed to tell him about the tutoring sessions,

You knew he was ignoring you as he continued to walk away, you grew frustrated and you knew you shouldn’t do what you were going to do but it was the only way.

You followed Ni-ki out the classroom and pulled the side of his headphone off and he whipped his head at you as if you were crazy.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Come tomorrow and stay after school. We have our first tutoring session tomorrow”

“Our first what?” He squinted his eyes at you to see if you were joking and when he realized you weren’t, he grew irritable

“I don’t need tutoring” He grumbled and was going to pull his headphone back onto his ear until you started to talk

“Your grades say other wise, you better come tomorrow Nishimura if you don’t I’ll hunt you down and bring you myself” After you were done, you gave a fake smile turning your back to head into the classroom to grab your belongings

Ni-ki scoffed at your actions, you had some nerve. You actually thought he would show up for a tutoring session, to hell he would.

Now Ni-ki didn’t actually anticipate for you to hunt him down. Before he could step a foot off of school grounds, he felt himself being dragged back into the school by his empty backpack.

When he turned around, you didn’t even pay any mind to him as you pulled his backpack to drag him back into the school.

You weren’t going to risk having your school record tainted because of someone like Ni-ki.

“I told you Nishimura I would hunt you down” You only ever called him by his last name whenever you were angry or annoyed with him which was almost always

“Alright I get it, just let go of my backpack” He yanked his backpack away from your grasp, you stopped walking as you could seem him readjusting it on his back

You could hear his grumbled but paid no attention to it. But what you did pay attention to was Ni-ki booking it down the hallway to get away from you.

You stared at him dumbfounded. He actually was going to make you chase him just to have one tutoring session, you felt yourself go crazy.

You scoffed before running after him, to hell were you going to allow him ruin your clean record.

And after much banter, Ni-ki grumbled in the chair in front of you. He had his arms folded already done with tutor session that’s yet to begin. You were humming softly as you organized the papers, you were too happy for his liking.

“Why are you so happy?”

“Oh I’m not happy, just trying to keep an optimistic attitude” You could see him rolling his eyes at you in the corner of your eye, you sighed before placing the organized papers in front of him, He looked at you confused with the stack of papers and you presented them to him

“This is all the work you missed” His eyes widen in surprise, there was no way he would be able to cram all this work into one tutor session

“This more than months worth of work, don’t tell me you thought it would be a one time thing” He sneered at you before grabbing the first paper and tried looking for a pencil, when you realized he didn’t even have one you sighed

You took out a pencil from your pencil case and placed it in front of him.

“Keep it, you need it more than me” Ni-ki looked at your pencil and felt anger, he didn’t know why but he did, he angrily grabbed your pencil and looked at the paper trying to figure out what was on it

You saw him struggling and sighed, this was why you’re here. You scooted your seat closer to his and he squinted his eyes at you before scooting away. You scooted again and he scooted away, now you were growing frustrated.

You glared at him and he glared back, he had no problem going up against you.

“I’m trying to help you” You seethed through your teeth, you were already having to take time out of your day to help him

“I’m not asking for your help” He bantered back, why was it hard for you to understand he didn’t need you help

“You’ve been staring at the paper for over 10 minutes, I think you do”

“I don’t, I was just analyzing it” You scoffed and nodded your head, you knew this would be harder than it seemed but you don’t know if you could hold on

“Fine, l only wanted to help you but I guess you don’t need it. So don’t make a ruckus when you finally realize you’re failing” You looked hurt before grabbing your all belongings and left Ni-ki, you had no energy to go against him when he clearly didn’t want you around, you would meet his wishes

Ni-ki didn’t look at you as you walked away from him, he kept his eyes on the paper, he felt relieved but for some reason he felt a gnawing at his stomach, he only discarded it as an uncomfortable feeling left by you that stuck to him.

He didn’t want you around, so he was glad you were finally respecting his wishes.

Now you would expect for Ni-ki to be pleased without your presence but it only made him angrier. You weren’t even acknowledging him anymore. When he did something, you didn’t even bat an eye and continue working or talking with your classmates.

You haven’t bothered him about the tutoring sessions after what happened during the first one. You were clueless by the way he was irritated by this, why was he always so angry because of you?

You two were the last people in the classroom, you stayed behind to make sure everything was where it was meant to be. Ni-ki on the other hand had no idea why he stayed behind, maybe it was the fact he stayed up until late at night trying to figure out one of the missing works or an unknown reason he didn’t want to pry open.

It’s been a week and you haven’t said a word to him. He was tired of it, and tired of not knowing what the stack of missing work was.

“We need to talk” No response, you began to pack up your belongings getting ready to leave him alone once again

He can’t believe he was about to do this, never in his life did he ever think he had to stoop so low especially for you. Just what had gotten into him?

“I messed up okay?” You still didn’t responded, you continued to hum for yourself and you were already on your way out the classroom door, Ni-ki followed after you, why was he doing this?

“I said I messed up, aren’t you happy that I’m admitting my defeat?” You continued to hum, you weren’t going to give him the time of day just like how he did to you

Suddenly you felt a tug at you book bag, you were pulled back onto a wall, he had you cornered and you shockingly looked at Ni-ki, who was beyond frustrated. Why were you ignoring him?

“How many times do I have to repeat myself? I messed up, I messed up and oh guess what I messed up” You looked at him unamused, it was the same treatment he gave you and now he didn’t like the taste of his own reputation

“Okay, what do you want me to do? Congratulate you?” You raised an eyebrow, Ni-ki was beyond shocked with your words, you always refrained from talking like that to him

“Help me” Those two words left Ni-ki’s mouth before he could even register what he said, his and yours eyes widen at the sudden plead of help

He didn’t have anything to say after that, he kept opening and closing his mouth to form some coherent sentence but couldn’t. You waited for any words to follow his previous statement before you spoke.

You gulped and nodded your head before pushing past him slightly.

“Alright, we’ll start tomorrow. I’ll meet you at the same place and this time I won’t hunt you down”

Ni-ki didn’t need to be hunted down by you. He was already waiting for you, the stack of papers in front and the pencil you gave laid ontop of them. You were shocked to see him already there, you really expected him to bail on you.

You were surprised when he gave you a head nod as a greeting. To others it may not have meant much but to you it meant almost as big as the world, he never greeted you without a comment.

“Let’s get started?” You sat down next to him and before you knew it, the first official tutoring session had already flown by like a breeze, Ni-ki was hesitant at first but soon warmed up and started asking for help on questions he didn’t know

You didn’t know that he had a side to him that he never showed. The quiet and concentrated side made you wonder what more was there to Ni-ki than what he presented himself as.

When you finished the tutoring session it was already late in the afternoon, the sun had already set as the sky was now filled with stars and the bright moon. You’d already bid goodbye to Ni-ki as you walked off, but you stopped when you heard him call you.

“Uh let me walk you home” His voice was soft, something you never experienced before, you almost let out a laugh thinking he was joking but when you realized he wasn’t you were quick to look at him surprised

“Why?”

“It’s late and it’s dark already”

“I’ve walked this plenty of times, I’ll be fine Nishimura”

“Stop being so stubborn and let me walk you home”

“I’m not stubborn, you’re being stubborn”

Ni-ki walked you home that night, you don’t know how long you two stood there bantering over nonsense until you were too exhausted to continue arguing. Ni-ki smiled with pride when you gave in and peacefully walked you home.

Ni-ki realized you didn’t talk much when you were alone, you seemed to have been in your own world admiring all kinds of different scenery during the walk. Ni-ki gave some space between you and him, he let you walk ahead as he walked behind you.

The walk wasn’t uncomfortable it was rather one of the most calming walks either of you have ever had. It’s just strange that it so happened to be together.

Over the course of the tutoring sessions, the two of you may had not noticed it but the people around you have. They way your banters have subsided and were now civil conversation and greetings, sometimes with smiles or chuckles.

People were surprised to see Ni-ki act different from how he usually is. He no longer created as much ruckus as he used to, he no longer missed school, Nishimura Riki actually started attending everyday of school after the tutoring sessions started.

People were shocked to say in the least, you had changed Ni-ki and you didn’t even realize it. Even Ni-ki himself didn’t realize the change he was going through.

The two of you were having a normal conversation when Ni-ki suddenly placed his hands onto your shoulder to move you out of the way before you could get hit with a flying ball. He still had his hands on your shoulder as he glared off at the student who almost hit you with the ball.

“Sorry, I should’ve seen where the ball would head to”

“Next time watch it” The person looked at Ni-ki, curious about his sudden care towards you but still just picked up the ball and walking away from the two of you

You didn’t realize Ni-ki’s hold on you until he asked if you were okay, when you turned to face him he held a worried expression. Now this was something you never ever experienced in the time you’ve been classmates with him.

You couldn’t trust yourself to make a coherent sentence so you only nodded your head, he sighed and let go of you. He bid you goodbye saying he needed to head somewhere and that he would meet you at the same place, same time for your tutoring session.

You felt a hard thump against your heart as he walked away, now that wasn’t normal for you.

Ni-ki and you were at your usual study session but you kept a little more distance than usual. When you sat down, you discreetly scooted your chair further from him but he still noticed either way.

He thought that it was because your seat moved by accident and that you would adjust it closer to him so he didn’t worry about it. But when you didn’t and only sat farther from him, that’s when he took notice of it.

He called out to you and you hummed, slightly turning your head to see what he needed help with. You let out a gasp when the bottom of your chair was dragged towards Ni-ki, when you were face to face with him you saw the stoic face he let on.

When you were close to him, he looked away and continued doing his work as if nothing happened. The same hard thump against your heart appeared again, and you only looked away but stayed where you were at.

After the tutoring sessions, Ni-ki always walked you no matter what the times was. It was habit of his that he couldn’t (didn’t) want to let go of, you didn’t mind but today it was different. You were walking further from him, almost as if you were trying to escape from him, he frowned at the sudden change in attitude towards him.

He wondered what he did wrong, he made sure he was in class, he did his work, he went to all the tutoring session, didn’t cause anymore ruckus, he even walked you home. So why were you running away him?

You know you were acting foolish but you couldn’t help it. You didn’t like the uncomfortable beating in your chest, and it only happened when you were with Ni-ki. So you thought it would be best if you decided to distance yourself, to get away from the uncomfortable feeling. You knew it wasn’t his fault, it was your own problem and you needed to resolve it fast.

“Are you okay?” His voice was soft, it was a voice that he only used with you (after thorough observation) You felt the same heart beat in your chest, you felt like you couldn’t breath and were on a cloud

“I’m fine” It was obvious you weren’t but you didn’t want to admit that, you didn’t want Ni-ki to know that there is a vulnerable side to you that you never show

You were the class president, you had to ‘set’ an example.

“Then why are you ignoring me?” Silence, it was almost unbearable, you didn’t know how you could respond without make it seem like you were losing your mind

“I’m not, I’m just tired” Ni-ki who only started to warm up to you recently could tell you were lying through your teeth

“Stop lying, it’s annoying” His choice of words weren’t the best but for some reason you were able to interpret it the way he meant it

You and Ni-ki were getting along and it seemed like you both molded to fit the other into your lives with ease. You gulped, this was dangerous and you were getting nervous.

“I’m not lying, I’m just really tired okay?” You gave a warm smile trying to ease the tension and you thought it did when Ni-ki didn’t speak and only stared at you

Ni-ki couldn’t speak, he doesn’t realize when your smile started to have effect on him but this was a moment of weakness. He admired your smile, even if it was forced, he still felt the effects from it.

He cleared his throat, ignoring the annoying thump against his chest. He nodded his head and took your word for it, if you didn’t want to talk about it who was he to pry it out of you.

You continued walking but you walked beside him, Ni-ki noticed this but didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to ruin it. So as the two of you walked side by side, your hands would softly graze each others.

You would glance at each other when you felt the soft grazes but decided not to do anything. The two of you afraid to instigate something and possibly ruin the progress you’ve made with each other.

But neither of you could deny the fluttering of your hearts as no words were exchanged between each other.

People noticed yet another change between the two of you. They saw the way you were more friendly with Ni-ki, you started to joke around with him. Ni-ki would genuinely smile more when he was with you, he even found himself trying out for extra curriculums.

When he would tell you any sort of achievement he accomplished, you would be proud of him and celebrate with him after school. The time you two spent together was becoming every hour of every day, you two became attached to each other and didn’t even realize it.

Now people assumed Ni-ki would be like this with everyone, they were wrong. He still kept his guard up and stoic gaze on whenever other people tried to act the same way you acted with him. He would glare at them and scoff, not giving them the time of day before setting off to find wherever you were.

Now Ni-ki found himself waiting outside the classroom door until you were done. After what felt like hours, when in reality it was 20 minutes, you finally walked out the door with a smile.

He smiled back at you before tilting his head to head out the school. You nodded your head and you walked next to him like you always did now, you both talked about random topics. It felt like the two of you were in your own world and that you didn’t have to worry about anything as long as you both were by each other’s side.

Now it took some time for Ni-ki to realize (actually just one google search) that he likes you. When did he start to like you was beyond him, but he couldn’t stay by you without feeling like he was about to explode.

So what did he do with this new found information? He did the only reasonable thing, he shoved it in the back of his mind and acted like the feelings didn’t exist. He tried his best to act as normal as he was before he found it, but he found it almost impossible. His mind only functioned if you were the center of his thoughts, his bright smile only showed itself when you walked into his view.

He was worse than he thought.

You waited for Ni-ki for the last tutoring session, he’s almost done completing his missing work and that meant these tutoring sessions would no longer be needed. It made you sad, you enjoyed spending time with Ni-ki but you hoped after today you both are still able to be friends.

You waited for Ni-ki but he was taking longer to arrive, you played with your fingers until you heard soft footsteps. You looked up to see a nervous Ni-ki, he had his hands behind his back as he walked towards you.

When you gave him a confused smile, he felt like he was on top of cloud nine. Yeah, he definitely liked you.

When he was infront of you, he didn’t sit down. He looked at you and his eyes were filled with temptation, he took a deep sigh before taking the single flower that he held behind his back. You looked at him confused but that soon melted away when you saw his soft smile.

He ushered for you to grab it and when you did, he sat down next to you. You watched his every move, anticipating what he was going to do next.

“I like you”

Now you didn’t expect that, you stared at him frozen at his words, what did he just say?

Ni-ki decided why beat around the bush when he can be straight forward with his feelings. He knew he liked you, so why would he want to drag it for longer?

“What?”

“I like you” You thought you were hearing things, you blinked rapidly trying to have the three simple words progress through your mind

“You, Nishimura, like me?” Ni-ki nodded his head, he couldn’t lie that he felt nervous, he was starting to assume that you didn’t feel the same way

He was growing fidgety and you took notice of that. You realized this must have taken a lot out of him to do, you suddenly smiled before giggling.

You were just as swooned for him as he was for you.

“I was going to tell you about my feelings soon, guess you beat me to it” Your words were like fireworks in his ear, you couldn’t even register anything as you were suddenly tackled into a hug

Ni-ki held you tightly, he wasn’t one that enjoyed physical touch but in that moment he felt the need to have you in his arms. You were shocked by the sudden hug, but soon you hugged him back. He rested his head onto your shoulder as you softly rubbed his back.

“Does this mean you like me too?” His words made you laugh

“No, I just wanted to be tackle into a hug” Your tone was sarcastic but Ni-ki pulled away from you and looked at you dumbfounded, you laugh again before placing your hands onto his shoulder.

You decided to do something risky, you planted a soft kiss onto his cheek and when you pulled away, his eyes were in a daze of you.

“Yes Ni-ki, this means I like you too” He was quick to tackle you into another hug again, you giggled against the hug

Ni-ki wasn’t going to let you go after this. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest as you hugged him back. You liked him too and that was the best news that he had ever heard. Even though, he only ever shows it to you, you changed him for the better.

It’s weird to admit but he was glad he was failing because without that, you would’ve never been assigned to give him the tutoring sessions that change his life.

“One last tutoring session?”

[seventeenreasonswhy]

Super Shy ~ A JWW School-Life Romance Pt. 1

Star Athlete!Wonwoo x Shy Wallflower!Reader

Jeon Wonwoo... THE Jeon Wonwoo is... paying attention... to you!?

~1.1k words

Series content: fluff, first crush plot line, school-life anime vibes, slow burn/yearning, some light angst, classmates to friends to lovers, fem reader, reader is ~*super shy*~ and has low self-esteem, reader is kind of bullied (?), sweetie pie Wonwoo, appearances by Choi Hansol and more!, all characters are in high school so no explicit content (but probably kissing eventually).

My Masterlist

Author’s note: Eeeee! I’ve been watching a lot of school life/romance anime these days and here we are lol. Wonwoo is so first love-coded I couldn’t help myself! And I needed something to distract myself from the pain and sorrow of Jeonghan enlisting. This is just part 1, but we’ll see how long this goes! hahaha. Thank you for reading!!! LMK if you want to be on the taglist 😊

Taglist: @yeoberryx @clownprincehoeshi @soffiyuhh @wonwoos-wineparty @hamji-hae @junniesoleilkth @seokqt @haniinah @yangtyunhannie @cherrylovescheol @iIIucere @lukeys-giggle @cookiearmy

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

Despite the lingering winter chill, the time had come for the baseball team to start their pre-season training.

You didn’t know this because you were particularly fond of baseball. You (and everyone else in school) knew this because every morning a crowd of girls could be seen clinging to the chain-link fence surrounding the baseball fields.

There was only one reason why they gathered out there so early and in the freezing cold: Jeon Wonwoo.

Jeon Wonwoo was the star of the baseball team in the spring, the star of the track team in the summer, the star of the soccer team in the fall, and the star of the basketball team in the winter.

And everyone... everyone was in love with him.

Or, at least, that’s what it seemed like to you.

Spring came so fast, you thought as you shuffled your way to homeroom. You always got to class early since you didn’t really have friends to meet up with beforehand, and you didn’t play any sports. Your whole life existed within the path from your bedroom to school, only ever deviating to your parttime job at your uncle’s convenience store on the weekends, or occasionally to the library to study.

You glanced out the window to see the crowd of your classmates (not to mention girls from the grade below you and the grade above you) watching the baseball team’s practice game. You were impressed that they got up so early just to watch a practice.

Jeon Wonwoo was in your class, and you had technically spoken with him exactly one time. But still, you didn’t think you could say you’d ever had a ‘conversation’ with him.

Earlier in the year, you had been tasked with collecting everyone’s homework. He had been chatting with the guys seated behind him.

“Um,” you’d squeaked, barely audible, “... Excuse me?”

He had turned to you, looking directly at you through those dark, feline eyes. You could tell right away that they were the eyes of someone with effortless magnetism. Even you felt your face get flushed when they were trained on you.

“Uh, your homework—” was all you could muster, unable to meet his gaze.

“Oh,” he said, turning to rummage in his bag, “sorry about that—thank you!” he smiled as he handed you his assignment.

He seems nice, you’d thought.

And that was the extent of your interaction with Jeon Wonwoo. Months had passed now, and his seat was on the opposite side of the room from you.

And even though you wouldn’t like to admit it, the moment had stuck with you...

The smile on his face, the way it... sparkled?

You chalked it up to being the moment you really understood why so many people in school were obsessed with him. He was more than just handsome and a top athlete; he was actually really nice. Or appears nice... you’d remind yourself that you didn’t really know Jeon Wonwoo. You didn’t feel like you could say with certainty what kind of person he was.

He wasn’t the most outgoing guy in your grade, but he attracted a lot of attention. You’d never seen him exchange harsh words with anyone. You couldn’t imagine handling that kind of spotlight. You saw girls talk to him and flirt with him all the time—giving him gifts, following him to the cafeteria, passing him notes in class... he was always super nice to anyone who wanted to talk to him, but apparently he’d never reciprocated anyone in the school’s feelings. Sometimes you wondered whether he already had a girlfriend or not.

Someone like him is probably dating a model, you assumed.

Class was about to start, and people came pouring in one by one. You continued to stare out the window, until you felt a tug on your school blazer.

“Hi, Y/N!!” it was your classmate, Chaeryong. She sat in front of you. You weren’t really friends, but she was nice. You were kind of surprised that she approached you.

“I’m sorry to ask, but do you think I could look at your homework from last night?”

“Oh,” you said, coming back down to earth, “Sure.” You pulled your notes out and handed them to her.

“Thank you!!” she said, “I owe you!!”

She took her seat in front of you and started copying down your homework. You knew that it wasn’t right, but you also didn’t care that much if other students copied you. It wasn’t like you’d get in trouble or anything. Even the teachers tended to overlook you. A blessing and a curse at times.

“Your handwriting is so neat, Y/N!” Chaeryong said. Then, the girl who sat next to her asked to see your notes... and another boy from the row in front of her... until eventually, it seemed like the entire class was copying your homework.

“Uh,” you started to interject as yet another classmate asked to see your work, but right then, Jeon Wonwoo and Choi Hansol from the baseball team came in, both of them emitting a post-practice glow and completely disrupting the vibe.

“Ah, Wonwoo! You were going crazy at just a practice, I’m so impressed!” the guy currently clutching your notes turned and said to Wonwoo. You’d gotten out of your seat by now, and were about to reach for your work...

“Oh that was nothing,” Wonwoo said with a casually cocky grin, “what’s that?” He pointed at your homework with his chin.

“Oh, this is Y/N’s homework,” the guy said, “she’s letting me copy.”

“Um,” you said, starting to panic. I never said that!

“What?” Wonwoo said, his tone incredulous. “Do your own homework! Y/N, you don’t have to let this clown copy your work.” His tone was much sweeter when he spoke to you, making your stomach turn inexplicably.

“Aww, Wonwoo! Don’t be like that!” the guy whined.

“Do your own homework next time!” And he snatched the notes from this guy’s hand.

“Here you go,” he said softly as he handed you the notes.

“Th-thanks,” you said, feeling completely flustered. You all but ran back to your seat. Maybe he is really nice, you thought.

“Man, bad timing,” another girl giggled, “we already got to copy Y/N’s notes.”

“Wait, how many people are just copying Y/N?” Wonwoo asked, but the room didn’t answer—instead shuffling off to their respective seats, continuing their own pre-class banter. Wonwoo looked across the room at you while you tried to crawl inside your own skin out of embarrassment. He almost went over to you... but he saw the look on your face and decided against it.

[selfloverrrrrr]

Can I request yandere gojo x fem reader where the reader is a special grade sorcerer and satorus best friend since high school,

After suguru she is the only one who understands Satoru well and Satoru can show his true emotions to her but what she wasn't aware was Satoru likes her since many years now but kept to himself since he knows he loves suguru since high school and still loves him even after his death.

As days pass by he was getting more and more annoyed at her to not get the hints that he likes her and when he had enough and confessed his feeling for her she rejected him.

And after that day he came back from a mission wounded and went to her saying it was her fault and started to manipulate and forced her to heal him, (since if she uses her healing technique to heal someone else other then herself it damage her own health, and because of that she was not physically strong) and with that after many times healing him her health was not so good which made her weak,

Not wanting to wait for her Satoru noncon her and force her to get pregnant since it will tie her to him.

And even if she tells the higher uppers about this they won't do anything and rather will be happy that two powerful clans members r having childen.

I'll have you

Warnings : smut , heavy smut, unprotected sex, Noncon, Kidnapping, physically and emotional abuse, biting, size difference, Yandere Gojo, stalking, protective, jealous, obsessive, manipulative....

( All characters are aged up/18+)

Masterlist

Minors Do Not Interact

Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report

I'm a old student of jujutsu high. I graduated from that school ten years ago. I'm still connected with the jujutsu high like some of my other friends. But life changed a lot...a lot means...A LOTTTT!!!

Everything changed after Suguru's death. After his death I was the only one who understands Satoru. And Satoru also showed his true emotions to me. Even after Geto's death Gojo put on a fake smile to everyone but always tells me how much it hurts him and how much he feels pain.

And I always gave him mental support. but what I wasn't aware of was Satoru likes me since many years now but kept to himself since he knows I'm in love with suguru since high school and I still love him even after his death.

As days pass by he was getting more and more annoyed at me just for not getting the hints that he likes me! One day when he had enough and came to me and confessed his feeling for me. "Look Gojo I really respect your feelings...but you know I loved Geto...and I still do" I said. "Yes but one day you will move on...right??" He asked got too much excited. "Okey...I guess I'll think about it that time...okey?" I replied with a smile. I rejected him. He started deep into my eyes and didn't say anything then he left.

One day Gojo came back from a mission wounded. He knocked on my door. When I opened the door I saw Gojo. He was wounded. "OML .... What happened?? Come inside" I said and locked the door after he came inside.

He fell on the floor after coming inside. I sat infront of him "Gojo are you gonna tell me what happened???" I asked. "I was on a mission" he replied looking at his wounds. "Haven't you infinity on??? Then how did it happened?!" I said. "I have to turn off infinity sometimes!!!!" He said in a annoyed tone. But that was an weird answer.

"Ain't you gonna heal me?" He asked. Yes healing technique.... I have a powerfull healing technique but whenever I use my healing technique to heal someone else other then myself it damages my own health. But I can feel some how he was angry on me so I didn't say no...cause I was kinda scared of his reaction.

And with that after many times healing him....now my health was not so good for which I was becoming so much weak. I fell on the floor. My body was too weak right now. When I looked at Gojo instead of seeing him worried I saw him smirking at me. He took me in the bridal style. But I felt one of his hand under my dress. And after a moment I saw him put me down on my bed.

I felt him caressing my inner thigh. "Look y/n....if you know that you are weak you shouldn't take the hard way with the strong one" he said smirking at me. "W-what you saying?" I asked feeling weak. "I'm saying you should've accepted me when I gave you the proposal and not going for the hard way" he said. Was he...?? no no no...that can't be...

Before I could react he pressed his lips on mine. His kiss was so rough. He started undressing me. I tried to push him away but he was too strong and my body was betraying me.

He grabbed my boob and started squeezing it and I moaned in the kiss. Hearing my moan Gojo stopped the kiss and crashed his mouth on my breast. I moaned out loudly. He started sucking on my breast roughly. The more I moan the more roughly he sucks and  squeeze on my breasts."g-gojo please stop... I'm begging you please stop... you can't force like that " I begged. "I don't care about what you gonna say... you will be mine!!!...no one can stop me. I'm not sceared of anyone. You know I'm the strongest." He replied with a smirk.

After a while he let go off my breast. I was breathing heavily. He started undressing himself. He took off his shirt and pant. He was now only wearing his boxers. I can see the outline of his bulge through his boxers and there was a wet spot where the tip of his dick touched his boxer. Fear grabbed me by my neck.

His hand reached for my pantie and he ripped it off. He looked at my pussy hungrily. He parted my pussy lips with his fingers and crashed his mouth on it, sucking on it roughly. I moaned so loudly. I tried to push him away by pulling his hair but nothing nothing nothing. He just continued his work. He pulled back and lined himself with me."please please please no no no" I cried. "Shhh....this is the main fun part" he whispered and slammed his whole length in one slide without any warning."Gojo!!!!" I scremed and grabbed his back."oh my fucking god god god god god god......ahhhhhhhhhhh" he moaned out feeling my warm wet walls around him.

His thurst became harder and harder. I was an moaning and crying mess."you are so fucking...ahhh .... tight" he moaned out. With a few more thurst I came. dig my nails on his back. Feeling my warm wall clenching around him he came within a minute. "Now bring my babies and be mine forever" he said before pulling out. Then fell beside me....

"I'm gonna tell this to the higher ups" I said before I fainted. He cackled. "Y/n you are too innocent...do you think those old shits gonna do anything when the big two clans are having children together?" He said in a seductive tone.

Give me your requests guys....

I love when you give me your requests 💕

[tojifile]

Hey, can I make a request for your event?

Fyodor x fem!reader, except he's madly in love with her but doesn't accept it bc he thinks it's useless :)

@Fyodor Dostoevsky . . . (＾-＾)

Tags: smitten!fyodor, fluff, angst if you squint, gn!reader, domestic Fyodor, kinda ooc, vol 14+ doesn’t exist, yandere themes if you get 400+ graded glasses

A/N: Hello anon !! I’m so sorry this took so long, probably 2-4 months (?) I’ve been so busy with school that I just didn’t have time for requests. I’ll treat my fics like those “mafia!dazai who…” type of posts, if that makes sense. I know it’s a big change from my old writing style but I really hope you would still like it :))

smitten!fyodor who met you while walking around Yokohama. He asked you for directions one day and as faith would have it that was the exact place you were going to as well. Although, he didn’t actually need directions, he just wanted to test his skills in deceit.

“Excuse me miss, pardon me for being a bother. Could you please tell me where the nearest train is?” You softly smiled at the gentleman who had gotten your attention. “Of course, I was just heading there myself, you could just follow me if you’d like.”

smitten!fyodor who was fond of the way you spoke to him in such a polite manner. It was endearing to have someone be so courteous (bare minimum, I know).

smitten!fyodor whose voice you couldn’t forget. Softer than silk yet even the sun itself would revolve around its gravity.

smitten!fyodor who “accidentally” bumps into you from time to time. It’s been going on for several months now and during the first few times you jokingly accused him of stalking you.

“Fyodor-san? This is the fourth time this month, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were stalking me!” You teased. He responded to your joke with a small chuckle.

smitten!fyodor who denies feeling anything for you since he thinks it would hinder his plans for a better world. He constantly tells himself that it’ll pass, but each day he spends with you feels like a dream.

smitten!fyodor who reassures himself that this was all part of his master plan; that you were just another pawn in his epic chess match with Dazai. Surely someone as simple as you couldn’t destroy his plans, right?

smitten!fyodor who tells himself that keeping you happy is all part of his mission to save the world. When he’s overthinking his actions around you he tells himself that he only keeps you happy because a world where you’re sad confuses and frustrates him—oops, wrong thought!

What frustrates him further is the fact that he can no longer tell himself that you’re just a pawn. He never has internal struggles, so how could you do this to him? For years and years he chased his ideals. He tried to attain the unattainable, he never thought something as simple as affection could be that unattainable thing.

smitten!fyodor who saw you on a date with somebody else and he felt like that was God’s way of telling him that he should continue to fulfill his mission rather than chase someone who clearly doesn’t like him back.

Comment 🪩 to be on my taglist !

[lostintransist]

Secrets Are For Grown Ups | Part 6

Part 1 can be found here. AO3

Shout out to @xbirdiex

Saturday moved with ease, John and Nyla joined you in taking the boys to the planetarium and lunch before dropping by the park for the regularly scheduled play date with other neighborhood kids.

Nyla stretched upon climbing out of your van. The ride from downtown to the park closest to your house had taken much longer than expected. There were several accidents on the freeway that delayed you by nearly an hour.

“I’ll be taken myself on a walk, you youngin’s watch the bairns.” With that, she strode with purpose on the path that circled the park.

The boys released themselves from their seats and took off screaming like only a seven-year-old can. Sharing a look with John you grab your park blanket from the back before locking the van.

John rubbed the back of his neck; he had been stuck in the back with the boys who talked the entirety of the car ride.

“They sure do have a lot of energy.”

Laughing you lead the way to a relatively flat spot of grass and lay out your blanket.

“They sure do. If you can believe it this is less energy than they used to have.”

Aghast John stares at you deep concern etched between his brows. It triggered a whole ‘nother round of laughter. Wiping your eyes free of the joyful tears you go on to explain.

“Toddlers have more energy but fewer words and are arguably much harder to care for. They are attracted to death, finding things that can kill them everywhere.”

“How did you manage?” He glances from you to the children crawling over the park equipment like ants over a corpse.

“Larsen mostly.” You smile softly thinking of your best friend.

John leans back on his hands, crossing his feet at the ankles.

“Tell me about him?”

“Larsen?” You question, surprised.

“Mom!” Mac comes racing up to you, “There is a kid that is throwing bark at people.”

“Okay, is he still doing it or did his grown-up take care of the problem?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, so it sounds like it has been taken care of right?” You lift a brow in conjunction with your question.

“Yeah,” Mac nods once before taking off at the same speed he arrived.

Blowing out a breath you glance to John and roll your eyes about your child’s antics.

“What do you want to know about Larsen?”

“Let’s start at the beginning, how did you meet?”

You can’t help the smile that blooms across your face.

“We met in second grade, about the same age the boys are now. We became the best of friends and were thick as thieves. Larsen lived outside the boundaries of our school but his parents used one of his grandparent’s addresses to get him into a ‘better school’.” You roll your eyes at that but continue. “We stayed friends all through school. He was my best friend. So many people in high school thought we were dating. Made it so hard to get a boyfriend.”

John laughed at the bitter cast to your voice. “Seems like it turned out well for you though.”

Canting your head side to side you decide how to explain.

“Larsen didn’t like the idea of romantic love; never had a partner because of it. When I got the news I was pregnant he was my first call.” You chuckle at the memory now, “I told him everything that had happened and you know what my best friend did? He offered to marry me over the phone.”

You pause your tale to yell at Jace to get down, the outside of the equipment is not meant for playing.

Picking up the story where you had left it you continue, “I said yes, obviously. He was the best partner I could have asked for. You are staying in his old room actually. We didn’t have a conventional marriage but he loved the boys fiercely; said he would be their father before anything else in his life. Damn man nearly passed out during delivery though.”

The memory still makes you smile, both your mom and Larsen’s had come to help with delivery. He didn’t even hold a leg as you pushed out the boys but one glance at your nether regions and the blood gushing from your vagina had him pale and had his mom shoving him into a chair with a ‘you are not going to pass out, we are all busy right now.’ The midwife team had laughed at that with you as you laughed out Jace. Mac had already been whisked away to get cleaned up.

“He sounds like a good man, the boys talk about him sometimes,” John is contemplative in his tone.

You curl your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around them and resting your chin down too.

“His death shocked us all. He had an aneurysm at work, gone before the paramedics arrived.”

“Not a bad way to go all things considered,” John mused aloud.

“Noah MacTavish! Get down now!” Mac makes a guilty face as he is caught scaling the play structure. “No, it could have been worse. He left us with a healthy chunk of life insurance and because he passed at work we got all the life insurance money from that fiasco. I paid off the house and invested the rest. I opened my cake decorating business within a few months of his passing to pay for our daily expenses, got all three of us in therapy, and then the boys started Kindergarten soon after. Larsen’s mom, Crystal, and my mom both stepped up in amazing ways.”

John is looking at you when you glance his way, the depth in his gaze sends shivers across your skin. The last time you had seen that look on his face had been in the weeks you were avoiding Simon on base. A deep contemplation as he mulled over his thoughts, you thought even then that it made him more attractive than should be reasonable.

Turning back to watch the boys you finish your thought.

“They both take the boys one day a week for a few hours so I have time to clean house or make deliveries or go to the doctor without an entourage.”

“Now Nyla is here and hopefully soon they will have more people to share the load,” John whistled, the sharp sound had both boys stopping their poor choices.

Speaking of Nyla caused her appearance avoiding the need for you to reply that you didn’t know if Simon and Johnny would want to be involved.

The boys played for a while longer before the three adults hustled them into the car and home for dinner.

Sunday morning saw you waking early with the boys, feeding them before sending them off to play in the backyard. Nyla and John were both able to sleep later than the six am wake-up you had.

Nearing nine am, Jace tore in through the back door as you work on the cake due today. He is holding his groin, a face of slight panic as he busts into the downstairs bathroom. You don’t remember the problem with him using that toilet until John’s startled voice sounds from the open door.

“Hello?”

“I have to go potty,” comes Jace’s quick reply.

“Ah.”

“Does your penis ever get stuck in your clothes?”

Oh no, now they are having a shower conversation. All of your focus is on the sounds drifting from the now-open door.

“Sometimes it does kiddo.”

Fuck. How do you deal with this? Jace will be done soon and John should have locked the door.

“Huh. Okay.” The toilet lid slams and you can hear Jace washing his hands before he reappears to go back to playing.

Now the question is, do you flush the toilet and shut the door? Yes. John deserved to shower in peace. As you reach the door you announce yourself.

“Don’t mind me, I am just going to take care of the step Jace missed.”

“Thanks, dove,” John’s voice drifts down over the shower curtain and you stop yourself from imagining anything that might join that thought.

“I am also going to lock the door so Mac doesn’t do the same thing to you.” Flushing the toilet you step back out of the room. John laughs as you lock the door and pull it shut tight.

Turning you find Nyla looking at you all concerned. By way of explanation, you say, “Jace busted in on John.”

She laughs with you at the absurdity of the situation and follows you back into the kitchen as you wash your hands and prepare to keep decorating a cake for a teenage birthday order. Their parent would be coming by in two hours for their delivery.

“I am going to visit with my boys.”

Your stomach tightened painfully at those words. The small smile you give her doesn’t mask the tension in your body. She pulls you into a motherly side hug, touching her head to yours before wandering from the kitchen. The front door opens and closes in near tandem with John stepping from the bathroom.

Fully clothed, steam billows around him as he shoves a bundle of clothes under one arm.

“That cake is the ugliest set of colors I have ever seen,” his brows nearly touch as he stares at the orange monstrosity sitting atop your counter.

“Oh I know but it’s only going to get worse,” you grab another container filled with your homemade frosting and begin to whip in a pale mint color.

“Worse?” John moves into the kitchen and around the counter to look down into the bowl you are using your hand mixer on. “Is that some kind of green?”

“Mint, but yes. Kid is turning thirteen and their two favorite colors are orange and mint. Mom wanted to combine both on the cake. Sent me reference photos and everything.” Turning off the hand mixer you set it to the side and ready your piping bag for a transfer. “Any fun plans today?”

John moves back around the kitchen island and settles both himself and his bundle of clothes onto a chair.

“I have a few stops I need to make but then will be back around lunch.” He is watching you as you spin your piping bag and start to drape strings of mint icing along the edge of the cake.

“Okay my mom will be here soon for the boys,” you glance at John as you tell him why, “She likes to take them to church.”

He pulls a face as he mutters, “Lovely.”

“I feel the same but if it keeps the peace and means she will take them on a weeknight too, I will allow it for now. I will probably use the time they are gone to deep clean the house before Simon and Johnny come over tomorrow.”

A scream from the backyard has you checking out the kitchen window to confirm no broken bones or blood, finding none you shift back to what you are doing.

“Do you clean because you’re stressed or because they are going to see more than the front room?” John lightly tapped his fingers against the counter, the sound barely traveling to your ears.

Sticking your tongue out in lieu of an answer John laughs. He rises as the knock sounds at the front door. Your mother comes in and chats with you a moment before collecting your boys who both give you a hug and a kiss before trailing out the door after grandma. John pokes his head into the kitchen to let you know he is leaving. And then you are alone.

Blasting music through the house you finish decorating, send a text to your client that she can pick up the cake any time before two pm, and set about cleaning the house. When Nyla reappears she jumps in by stripping all of the beds and starting the wash. By the time the boys and John appeared the house looked cleaner than it had been for Larsen’s wake. The scent of cleaning chemicals masked with lemon could be smelled in every room in the house.

Your pickup happens neatly at one, the mother gushing that the cake matches the vision and her kid is going to be so pleased. Nyla made sandwiches while you had finished cleaning the last bathroom. Sitting down at the table John announced that he would be sending both you and Nyla to a movie and then dinner.

“Are you sure you want to handle the boys?” They both grin up at you like innocent devils.

“We will have fun, won’t we boys?” John winks at them as they cheer.

At Nyla’s shrug, you accept the offer. A quick shower for yourself and the two of you were out the door, giggling at the thought of John managing the boys. The movie was your choice followed by Nyla’s pick of restaurant. Darkness had fallen by the time you both made your way through the garage and into the TV room.

Flung across the couch were three sleeping bodies. Jace slept sitting up against John. Mac rested his head against John’s thigh. John sat upright, head notched over the top of the couch and hands still gripping the controller for the game console that showed they had died again while playing Minecraft.

You lifted Jace first, fighting your way up the stairs with his body koala tight to you. Settling him in bed you turn and find a squinting John stepping into the room Mac wrapped around him. He settles your boy down with a gentle touch and even covers him to the chin with his blankets.

Waiting at the door, you pull it closed after John has slipped from the room.

“How were they tonight?” You whisper in the dark hallway.

“Good, we played board games, hide and seek, read some books, ate dinner, and then fell asleep playing video games.” His tone is even, steady beyond the sleep in his voice.

“Thanks for keeping them tonight John, it was nice to go out with Nyla.”

You can’t see what he does but his fingers find yours for one squeeze.

“They are good boys. I am happy to spend time with them and give you more time to get to know their grandmother,” he whispers back to you.

Tightening your fingers on his you fight the warm ball growing in your chest.

“Goodnight John.”

“Goodnight dove.”

A/N: The next chapter is The Talk™ 😬

Secrets Masterlist | Masterlist

@love-kha1 @sweetlike-sugarplum @vmaxis @splaterparty0-0 @momowhoo @talia-the-gemini @redkarmakai @aethelwyneleigh27 @asexualbuthorny @sleep101 @callsignbumblebee @lucienofthelakes

[bigbangclappin]

Baby Daddy Gangster 3

Summary: Ding Dong! Your baby daddy is back and wants in your life and your daughter’s. And with that smile you might as well shove the door wide open.

Paring: Nakamoto YutaXReader(1st Person POV!)

Warnings: Cursing! Baby Daddy themes, mentions of smut, toxic relationships, Mafia/Yakuza themes (It’s not glamorous in real life folks!) 

Word Count: 4.9K

A/N: it's finally here!! Part 3. I hope you all enjoy it! I may do a part 4 based on the response here to part 3!

Tag List: @nonbinarykais-world @angelictypo @stolasisyourparent @ch3rrych3s @marvelahsobx @crazyllamasurfer @sunooluver @ayowhatthefuck563  @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @miinghaosstuff @veryhao @johnbanana

Part 2

“Ms (L/N)?” A sweet but masculine voice called.

Mark was jogging toward me and I felt myself pale in worry, please God tell me my Yuki was alright and that she wasn’t hurt. 

“Yes?” I replied when he reached me on the sidewalk, “What is it? Is Yuki alright?”

“Geez,” He ran a hand through his hair seemingly embarrassed,  “yeah I should have led with that Yuki is just fine! I’m sorry I just had something to ask you if you had a moment?”

I couldn’t help but feel relieved at the thought that my daughter was okay. Lately I was a hop, skip and a jump away from the edge due to her father’s sudden need to be a thorn in my side. I feared he’d try to power play me and kidnap Yuki or something only Yuta would do. 

While it may sound irrational to the regular people passing me by on the street, the fellow mothers, wives, and girlfriends of the underworld know just how true that fear really was. 

Look the wrong way, say the wrong thing, your child could disappear in front of your very eyes. 

In the back of my mind I knew that Yuta wasn’t the same man his father was; thank god. It meant my child wouldn’t be a sadistic means to an end. Thank goodness he took after his Grandfather. 

While his Grandfather ruled with an iron fist where necessary, he knew how to be a real family man to his loved ones. He showered affection and wisdom over Yuta and luckily it took precedence over his father’s harsher borderline neglectful upbringing. 

In the darkest recesses of my mind I knew Yuta wouldn’t use Yuki as a tool to get back at me. It wasn’t who he was; his father though his father was still on the throne then we were in big trouble.

“Ms. (Y/n)?” Mark waved a hand in front of my face with a chuckle, “Are you alright?”

“Hm? Oh yeah I’m fine just a lot of papers to grade and please call me (Y/n)” I waved him off, “What was it you wanted to talk about?”

The man’s brows furrowed and he chewed his bottom lip before speaking trepidatiously, “There was a man here last week during outside play that approached Yuki…don’t be alarmed she was okay. I got there as soon as I saw what was going on. I asked who he was and what he wanted with Yuki and he was super hostile. Like a territorial tiger or something, I thought he was going to knock me out just for picking Yuki up. He did show me a birth certificate claiming he’s Yuki’s father…” He ran his hand through his hair pausing for a breath, “Ms–I mean (Y/n) I know you said Yuki doesn’t have another parent and we will honor that but that man was Nakamoto Yuta, the Nakamoto Yuta the heir– no scratch that the leader of the largest Yakuza family in–”

I snapped before I had the chance to catch myself, “I know who he is!”

I mumbled a sorry as I ran my hands over my face in order to get it together, “That bastard haunts my every waking moment on this godforsaken earth, is what I meant to say. I guess for safety’s sake I should let you know that he is Yuki’s long-lost bio dad who has for some reason or another decided to pop up and become a pain in my ass. Yuki is not to be released to him without my consent. I have sole custody of her and he is not to be anywhere near her during school. He distracts her and is also a child himself.  I understand Yuta and his men can be intimidating, please tell me right away if he causes you any trouble I will take care of it. I know he will give you a hard time, just let him know I told you to tell him ‘Ear’ that’s all you need to say. It’s like tiger repellent.”

“Just the word ear?” Mark asked confused, “You don’t think he’ll threaten the other kids do you?”

“Yep if he has any sense to him he’ll remember what that means and not to push me or others in order to push me,” I shook my head for the other question, “Yuta wouldn’t hurt the other kids. He has some decency to him. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner it slipped my mind with everything going on, if it’s really too much trouble please let me know.”

“It’s no trouble at all I just wanted to be on the same page in case we needed a safety plan for Yuki and yourself.” 

I put a hand on Mark’s shoulder with a laugh, “A safety plan won’t keep Yuta away trust me if that were the case I would have deployed one by now. Just call me if he tries anything stupid.” 

“Will do (Y/n).”

As I walked to work that morning I had an inkling that the bastard was going to be poking his head around soon enough. He had been way too quiet the past week. He couldn’t go without trouble for more than twenty-four hours let alone seven days.

***

“So who can tell me the difference between a metaphor and a simile?” 

I smiled at all of the eager faces with their hands raised ready to answer my question, “Go ahead Binna–”

A knock interrupted my student and I noticed the school secretary disheveled looking as if she were clutching her pearls. “Ms (L/N)? Can you come with me for a moment? It's important.”

I eyed the lady up trying to figure out what it was that made her jog up to the second floor as if her ass was on fire when she couldn’t even be bothered to roll to the otherside of reception half the time. 

“Hana please read the first paragraph and then pick someone to read after you're done and be fair please. No auctioning off snacks for reading rights.” 

I was hardly able to ask what was going on when the secretary offered to watch my kids for me while I handled my ‘husband.’ 

“Handle who’s husband?” I asked confused, “Aren’t you in charge of building security?”

“Your husband is demanding to see you!” She shooed me away down the hallway.

First off how dare she make rude ass gestures like that toward me but second, I was never married and never will be. “I’m not married, you probably mixed me up with on of the other teachers I have to get back to class–”

The secretary grabbed my arm and whispered, “The Nakamoto Yuta is downstairs in the headmaster’s office waiting for you. The headmaster vacated his office for you to have a place to talk. I am not mistaken.”

I just gave a ‘tch’ and made my way toward the administrative office. This man didn’t know the meaning of conspicuous if it punched him in the face. Like I wanted to right now. Boundaries were a big thing when we were together because if I didn’t have any Yuta would’ve steam rolled me into a rice cake. Apparently in our time apart he forgot that work was a no interruption zone. He was part gangster and part Chihuahua. Cute ,loyal, with an adorable face on one hand and on the other a yappy, loud bark with territorial issues over their favorite person.  

As soon as I landed on the bottom floor I saw two of Yuta’s normal security posted outside of the office. When they saw me they bowed and I rolled my eyes at the memories of being called sister-in-law. I’m clearly regarded in the same manner as they held back a male coworker of mine just trying to walk out of the door before me. 

Although he was rude it was still embarrassing to have two large men make a scene over something so small. 

“Johnny,” I sighed at my husband’s right hand who sat just outside of the headmaster’s office in the ‘naughty’ chair, “Long time no see.” 

The man stood up with open arms and a cheeky grin and I couldn’t help myself, “Fine.”

He locked me in a giant bear hug and then tugged on my ponytail, “How’ve you been?”

“Not bad all things considered,” I pat him on the back with a grin, “How are things for you?”

“Things have been interesting.” He laughed and nodded over toward the closed office, “Go on lover boy is all twisted up in there.”

I rolled my eyes, “Maybe if I smack him it’ll right him out.”

“Good luck with that!” Johnny called leaving the small reception area entirely to stand outside with the other men, closing that door behind him too.

Here we go. Again.

I pushed the door open, “Nakamoto Yuta I am working this better be important.”

“Trust me it’s important baby,” He mumbled from his position on top of the desk. Dark hair, shaggy and unkempt, he had run his fingers through it and put some behind his ears. His all black suit covered all of his telling tattoos aside from the large neck piece peeking over his dress shirt collar. 

Worst one of them all might as well have been winking at me. I wish he’d get it covered up or lasered. I didn’t want to constantly see my initials on his left ring finger like we were still together, common-law or not. 

“It should be detrimental if you kicked my boss out of his office just because you felt like it.”

“You look beautiful,” Yuta gave me a smile and went for my hand. I dodged him just in time, “Still smell like peaches and cream too.”

I quirked an eyebrow, “What are you up to?”

“I can’t compliment my woman?” he asked with a little smirk that made my heart race.

“Does she know you are giving other women compliments?” I quipped, taking a whole step back, it felt like he was stalking me around the room like a jungle cat who hadn’t eaten in god knows how long. I’ve been his mouse before I know all of the signs it’s not happening again.

“As if there would ever be anyone else,” he rolled his eyes at me and nearly succeeded in backing me into the corner, if it weren’t for my swift footing. 

“Why are you here right now Yuta? Please, I have to get back to my class.”

“I went to visit Yuki at school today because I presumed you let Mark know that Yuki is in fact my daughter too. As in yours and mine. Did you know he had the balls to tell me that I couldn’t see my daughter?  He told me that he was instructed to tell me that I wasn’t allowed to see her, and that she wasn’t to leave the grounds without your permission–”

“Because she is learning–”

“Because you don’t want me to see her without you,” he snapped back. He ruffled his luscious hair before taking his seat back on the desk, arms crossed like a petulant child. “He said ear.”

I couldn’t hold back my laugh and it all made sense now as to why this couldn’t wait, “You pulled me away from class because you were embarrassed?” 

“I was not embarrassed! I was appalled that you told him about it! A complete stranger!”

I covered my mouth to muffle my laughter, “Yuta I knew you would try to go behind my back because you can’t help yourself. If you had just stuck to the schedule I made for Yuki’s visits with you…”

“I would babe but sometimes our schedules don’t line up. Which is why I try to see her when I can.”

“Try another time when she isn’t at school.Without being sneaky about it too.”

“Who’s being sneaky?” he asked me with a roll of his eyes, “You knew I was trying to take her for lunch. I don’t have a regular nine to five job (Y/n) you know I don’t do the same shit everyday at the same time.”

“So your solution is to be selfish and disrupt her routine?” I asked annoyed, “Pull her out of class because Daddy has to go back to Osaka to oversee the factory? How is that fair to her?”

“Life isn’t always fair baby you and I both know that–”

“Yeah but that isn't an illusion I’m willing to destroy when she’s three Yuta! I mean come on–”

“So what?” He asked his arm flailing out in question his face heating with anger, “Fuck me then? I don’t get to see my little girl for two weeks because you want to keep her in a class where all she does is play with blocks?”

“You’re really starting to piss me off,” I managed to get out through gritted teeth, “These are the consequences of your own actions. I’m not going around in circles with you over your reasons again. Fact of the matter is I built this routine for her without you. Her world can’t suddenly revolve around your busy schedule, that’s what being a parent is all about. Yuki comes first, everything else is second. We sacrifice niceties and our time for her. I gave you options to work with if you want to see her. You can’t impose your will on our daughter.”

I could see his tongue poke the inside of his cheek out of anger and frustration, “It sounds like I can’t impose my will on you–”

“You’ve never been able to, a tradition I’m handing down to Yuki.”

“(Y/n) stop,” Yuta snapped slamming his open palms against the desk, “I’ve done everything right by you and by Yuki! I’m tired of this back and forth. She's my daughter too and if I want to take her out to lunch then I will!”

“No one said you couldn’t take her to lunch!” I snapped in return my blood boiling, “Just that you are going to respect her schedule. She’s the kid, it's not on her to follow your schedule! Kid’s her age need a routine that’s all it comes down to! I didn’t choose your line of work for you, and neither did she!”

“You can’t tell me that when you found out you were pregnant you didn’t factor in how I lived, how I had to make time for you, which I did, how sometimes our time was cut short, and in some way that would boil over in to how it would be when Yuki was born! You’ve always known how it is we’ve been together for ten years!”

I put a hand to my face in exasperation “Alright let me uno reverse you; You can’t tell me that when you left Yuki and I at the hospital that you expected me to know you were going to come back at some point in time and just become wonder dad. I didn’t even know you left one of the nurses told me you bolted!”

“Jesus, I expected you to use your context clues. I went to every appointment with you, every ultrasound.I helped pick out her name! How does that sound like I didn’t want to be in her life?”

“What?” I spat ready to yank at my hair, “Maybe because you said I’m not ready to be a father I’ll pay for you to have it taken care of?”

“Fuck!” He kicked the desk corner so hard it jumped back from the force. “I was scared of losing you! My enemies were closing in on the family and you were the prime target! They needed to believe that you meant nothing to me! Especially since you were pregnant! It’s the biggest target in my world! Kidnap and kill the leader’s woman. I couldn’t risk that happening to you or to our child! I panicked and I made a mistake! I want Yuki; I want you! I did what I thought I had to at the time to protect you both from harm. There isn't a day that goes by where I don’t think of our Yuki and you. She’s the apple of my eye but you’re my entire world (Y/n)--”

“Yuta–”

“No I already know what you’re going to say and I’ve held my tongue long enough,” he snapped rising up from the desk, “I love you! I always have and I always will–” 

“You, you, you! It’s always about you!” I screamed angrily, “Maybe if you had taken a goddamn moment to talk to me about whatever danger was encroaching, things could’ve been different! We may not even be here in this position if you thought about me and Yuki. Instead you kept us out; You’re angry at me for something you broke Yuta. How can I trust you to tell me the truth when it counts? I love you too, clearly I had your fucking kid but none of that matters if I can’t trust you to tell me anything. You lied to keep us safe sure, but you damaged the already fragile relationship we have instead of just talking to me.”

Yuta ran a large hand through his hair again but he wasn’t quick enough to hide his smirk, “You still love me? 

I stayed silent for a moment, chewing on my cheek, “Possibly.”

He chuckled deep, “Nuh uh baby, that’s not how that works.”

I cursed myself for my slip up as I glared at the man who will always be first and foremost a pain in my ass. “Ear Yuta.”

Red flushed his cheeks in embarrassment almost instantly, “Just because emotions haven’t always been your thing baby doesn’t mean you can try and deflect by kink shaming me.”

“I’m not embarrassed that you need your ears stimulated to cum.”

“What did she just say?” I heard Johnny ask from outside the office. The door popped open quickly, “Wait boss is that true?”

“Out Johnny,” Yuta pointed back at the exit at the same time I answered ‘Yes’.

“What the fuck (Y/N)?” he snapped at me, “If you value your life you will never repeat this to anyone…”

Johnny lifted both hands up in a defensive gesture, “Not my story to tell man.”

“Great, now get out and tell everyone they will lose their tongues if they talk!...and walk at least a few rooms down,” He ordered clearly out of sorts. 

Someone was most definitely embarrassed by his own needs. I tried to swallow my chuckle but I let it out anyway finding it too hard to contain. If looks could kill, yikes, this man’s icy stare would’ve caused me to drop dead right then and there. Maybe I went too far this time. 

Putting him in a position of shame in front of his men wasn’t the best idea. Other women in my shoes have been dealt with for less. Not that it justified his behavior. I just knew how things worked amongst the men in this organization and while Yuta had really pushed the envelope as far as progress for women goes, there were some things even he couldn’t let go.

Not with his men overhearing. He had to uphold his honor and reputation now. Unless he wanted to lose face in front of his subordinates, and in this world any sign of weakness will get you dethroned faster than a snap of your fingers.

The tapping of my ex’s fingers against the hard oak of the desk snapped me out of my thoughts and back to the present danger I was in. 

I thought for a moment that he may actually hurt me and that I royally fucked up. 

“You know how easy it is in my position to make things happen (Y/n) I could have marched right into that little nursery school and taken our daughter if I wanted to. I still could, nothing nor anyone could stop me, including you. We both know that, but you know why I haven’t done that?”

I could fathom a few guesses but with him leveraging his power over me, I thought it best to stay quiet and only shake my head in response. I didn’t want him to make good on his threat. He wasn’t wrong that he and Yuki could up and leave without a trace and no hope of me finding her. 

My pride hurt that I wasn’t able to bite back at his arrogance; I startled when he placed his large palm against my cheek. I attempted to squirm out from underneath him but the gentleness behind the touch turned to harsh control as he gripped my chin in his hand so I had no other choice but to look at him.

“I respect you.” He stated solemnly his hold tightened more, “I respect that you’re the mother of my child, unlike you who treats me as if I’m a fucking joke…”

I tapped him on the back of hand, “You’re hurting me Yuta.”

He let out a tch and backed off slightly, “I didn’t expect the warmest of welcomes baby, but I didn’t anticipate the depth of your animosity toward me, rather to the picture of me I had to paint.”

I searched through his dark eyes not exactly sure as to what I was actually looking for, what I did find was sincerity. “Your lie was convincing. The first few months after you left were terrible. I was running on Redbull and a prayer. Yuki wasn’t really fussy so there wasn’t much to distract me from thinking of you. It doesn’t help that she has your eyes and smile. Every Time she let out a little giggle I thought of you and my heart broke all over again. I learned to cope with the idea of being a single mom and doing it all on my own, it took me a while but I finally got there. Then you show up on my doorstep like you didn’t stomp all over my heart and everything was fine…so yeah it’s a little hard to believe otherwise.”

“Let me have the chance to show you how sorry I am for having to walk away from you when you needed me most.” 

He took my hand in his, he intertwined our fingers together and kissed my knuckles gently. His big eyes bore into mine and I had to admit he still knew how to get me to bend. I could never resist when he was being charming and sweet.

“It’s going to take a lot more than a handsome smile, Yuta.” I chided him but found myself unable to pull my hand away from his. 

It’s not that I didn’t want to give him a chance, I really wanted to throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall and land wherever they may but I had Yuki to be concerned for. He needed to prove he wanted to be in her life as her other parent. Which meant less focus on himself and more on our daughter’s needs.

“I don’t expect you to marry me tomorrow,” he said with such nonchalance, “Maybe in a year.”

I scoffed in disbelief, “Maybe never if you don’t start asking for my consent. I can’t believe you, I give you an inch and you took the whole god damn yard stick!”

“Baby you know I’m the only one for you…” he moved in like he was going to kiss me.

“How would I know that?” I pressed my palm to his invading lips, “I’ve only ever been with you.and like one and a half other men.”

 This man easily gives me whiplash one moment he’s being cute laying the overconfidence down thick, and the next his eyes are nearly black and I swear at the mention of other men he was hulking out due to his horrible possessive streak.

“What the hell does that even mean?” He growled, “Who are they?”

“I’m not stupid baby. I remember what happened when a poor unsuspecting sophomore tried to flirt with me,” I cringed at the awful bloody memory, “You nearly killed him.”

Yuta rolled his eyes, “Anyone who didn’t know you were my girl were either blind, gay, or didn’t care that we were together. That bastard was the latter. He got what he had coming to him just like you did when I fucked you in the guys showers afterward.”

I gasped in shock, “I’m at work Christ Yuta what if my boss heard you?”

He shrugged his shoulders with that irritating smirk of his, “Oops slip of the tongue.”

I ran a hand through my hair and put some much needed distance between him and I. “I’ve got to get back to class.”

Just as I pushed the handle down he grabbed my hand, “Oh no you don’t you have two very important names to disclose before I go on a fucking witch hunt. Was it that smug fucker Mark?”

“Nakamoto Yuta,” I sighed angrily while trying to twist my wrist from his grip, “How many times do I have to tell you that there is nothing going on between me and Mark?”

“As many times as it takes unless you willingly give up those two names…”

I swear to God if I could’ve slapped him I would have, I was past my breaking point. My blood was boiling hot, something only he managed to achieve. I’m entirely sure I’ve disclosed those two individuals to him before in the first place. I don’t know why he was being so dramatic.

“You weren’t the one who popped my cherry Yuta, you know that so there’s one…”

He nodded his head but then glared at me expectantly, “And the last one?”

“Seriously he was barely anything but second base–”

I heard his sharp intake of breath, “One base too many for my liking (Y/n), name now.”

“I don’t even remember his name. I was drunk at a party right after we broke up for the first time, I couldn’t even tell you what he looked like to be honest with you.”

“That’s classy babe, just hook up with anyone,” he snarled and aggressively ran his hands through his hair. 

“We weren’t together!” I scoffed, “It’s not like I slept with him, not to mention that this happened years ago! I haven’t been with anyone but you ever since. Including up to now. Your jealousy will be your downfall Yuta. ”

“Loving you is my downfall?” he asked with a sardonic brow raised.

I did not have the strength nor the patience left to have this fight with him again. I’ve tried one too many times to talk to him about this. I wasn’t going to beat my head against the wall again when I had a class of preteens waiting for me. 

“Are we done here?” I asked him, crossing my arms over my chest, “I really need to get back to my class.”

Yuta did that thing with his tongue and nodded his head, “We’re done for now. I’m taking our daughter for lunch and when I come back from Osaka you and I are going to dinner to finish this conversation.”

“Whatever,” I called over my shoulder. 

As I passed Johnny in the hallway I gave him another hug and apologized for putting him in the middle of another one of our notorious arguments. Poor guy probably felt like our third since he knew everything that happened in our relationship. He assured me that it was okay but I still felt awful.

As I walked back to my classroom I had this nagging feeling that Yuta may be a lot harder to put off then I initially thought. I was going to have to try harder and smarter if I wanted to get around Yuta’s constant watch.

I couldn’t have that threat of Yuki being taken from me hanging over my head. I had a lot of planning to do. With Yuta away for some time, I had the perfect opportunity to strike.

[cheri-2047]

May I request some fluff with Alhaitham and an overworked and stressed reader who just won't put the book down due to an upcoming exam 😔💪🏻 + they are struggling with motivation to study but they just NEED to study now or they'll fail or get a low grade

OF COURSE!! Thank you for requesting !! Also I’m assuming you have an exam so wishing you good luck

Alhaitham x Stressed Reader

WARNINGS: none aside from cursing, This is all fluff

CHARACTERS: Alhaitham, (im gonna write this as if alhaitham and reader are still in college btw !! Both of you are dating in this AU and dormmates too)

Okay I’m gonna write headcanons and then a mini oneshot after <3

please tell me if I accidentally mischaracterized him I’m really sorry in advance if I do 😔

Alhaitham would be telling you the entire afternoon that day to drink water, eat a snack and most importantly, take a break

Alhaitham would be stubborn at these times and making SURE that you are drinking water and taking care of yourself and all

Alhaitham practically tries to pull you away from your desk, but he fails. Instead just trying to keep having a conversation as an attempt to get you to get away from your studies, even if just for a minute

Alhaitham tríes to wait for you, but you insist he goes to bed ahead. He still tries to wait, while he lays down alone, clearly worried about you though having the same expression.

Alhaitham gets out of bed every once in awhile to check if you’re done, but everyte he does, he just receives the same response. “5 more minutes…”

Eventually he just stays in bed slightly frustrated and Alhaitham falls asleep waiting, that is, until he hears your frustrated mumbles from your desk.

“Damn it damn it! Why can’t I get it!”

You mumbled softly to yourself. No matter how many hours of hard work you’ve done today, you can’t seem to process any of the information.

“Fuck!”

You buried your head in your arms in frustration, clenching your fist tightly. As suddenly you felt someone trying to unclench it for you.

You flinched once you felt the touch, but once you turned, you saw your boyfriend alhaitham.

“It’s 1:07… you should be having some rest.”

He says, starting to put away your books.

“Nono! Just 5-“

“5 more minutes? Darling it’s been 5 hours. Please rest.”

He starts to pull you out of your chair, but you’re stubborn. You say no once more in a slightly pissed tone due to overworking the entire day.

“Y/n. Im serious.”

“I am too… just please…”

He saw the desperation in your eyes, but instead he pulled you into a hug, as you hurried your face into his shoulder.

“Look, the exam is in a few days correct?”

You nod

“And how much material have you gone through?”

“I don’t know”

“And you’re only starting to study now? Why?”

“I didn’t have motivation all week..I couldn’t bring myself to do it..”

You started getting ready for a scolding, but instead ended up with a kiss on your forehead.

“You ran out of motivation all week and so now that you have it, you don’t want to lose it, correct?”

You nod. As your boyfriend sighs.

“And do you remember anything you’ve been studying?”

To your shame, you shook your head.

“No..”

Alhaitham pulls away from the hug as he cups your cheek.

“Let’s have a deal, you get some rest today and I’ll study and teach you the topics myself tomorrow morning, deal?”

“But-“

“No buts, would you rather you passed out unwillingly or this?”

“…”

“That’s right, thought so.”

He pulled you into the bed, as he layed you down next to him.

“Please don’t do this again..if you need motivation then..I’ll help you, I’ll do whatever just take care of yourself please.”

He kissed your cheek goodnight as both of you slept in each others arms.

Alhaitham teaches you the topics the next day and you understand it. He tells you some study tips and motivation tips like:

Make flash cards and review them before the exam

Re-type it, NO copy pasting

Reading the text aloud to someone else

Quiz yourself and your friends <3

You can also make reviewers for you and your friends to motivate you to keep giving them some

Alhaitham will be happy and proud of u <3 good luck on your exams !! (These tips are my personal study tips that got me through the school year HAHAHAHAH, they work for me at least. Good luck again !!)

[bahablastplz]

All In | Chapter 7.5 (Changbin)

pairing: Lee Felix x f!reader (mafia au)

summary: You didn't know what you were getting yourself into when you started dating Yang Jungwon, notorious mafia boss. Your life gets flipped upside down when you're found beaten and bloody by SKZ, the rival mafia group, and you're quickly integrated into their lives. What will happen when you try to leave your old life behind and start anew?

chapter summary: Changbin knows what it's like to be weak but he has people he needs to protect. How did Changbin come to join SKZ?

warnings: please see series masterlist for all warnings

series masterlist ~~ series taglist ~~ main masterlist

“You’re weak,” he laughed at me. 

When I was in fourth grade, I had gotten the shit beaten out of me when I stood up for my older sister. This guy in her grade was constantly berating her, picking on her, making her feel less than. One time too many she had come home crying and I decided enough was enough. 

It didn’t go as planned, of course. He was two years older than me, and so I wasn’t able to stand up for her the way I had wanted to. I had gotten pulverized, more or less, but the relentless torment of my sister had stopped. Mission success? 

The night I had gotten beaten up, my sister tended to my wounds in our family bathroom. “Stupid,” she had scolded as she wiped blood from my upper lip. “You should know better. I never want you to get hurt again.” 

“Don’t tell Ma,” I had pleaded. Our mother would be sick out of her mind with worry if she saw me covered in blood and bruises. 

Our mother was a headstrong, independent woman that had raised us well. Our father had taken off when I was just a baby and I was still too young to remember him, but his existence continued to sour the taste in our mouths to this very day. Since then, our mother had been a provider, working day and night in order to give us everything that we needed. She was overworked, anybody could see that much, but she wanted to make sure she gave her children a long and healthy life. 

It was that night that I had vowed that I would become stronger. For her. For my sister. For our family. I would work hard and make sure that I would never get hurt again, but that I was strong and that I could protect my family. 

I went out looking for work the very next day. Believe it or not, nobody really looks to hire you if you’re in the fourth grade. But try as I might, I went to every business in town and begged them to hire me. I was persistent, in fact. 

“Why would we hire ya, kid?” one older man had spit at me. “With arms like yours, ya would only be a burden. You can’t lug around a potato if you tried.” I was ridiculed for even trying. But try as I might, day in and day out I would show up every morning begging for work, rain or shine. 

One day, my luck had finally passed. I guess it was their busy season or something, because when I showed up to his shop at opening I was immediately thrust into work. It was all physical labor and sure, he was right about me not having the strength or stamina yet to truly be of help. But, I had the determination and perseverance. I never complained once, and though I was slower than some of his other workers, he gave me another chance the next day when I came back. 

And so, that’s how I acquired my first job. And though my body wasn’t fully equipped for it yet, it certainly became equipped over time. Though I was small, my body started bulking up and giving me the strength to lift hundreds of pounds of materials each and every day. 

By the time I reached high school age, I was working 60 hours a week and bringing home hundreds of dollars in cash. My Ma always made it a big thing when I tried to give her the money; I never kept any of it for myself. But I needed her to know I had it handled. If it were up to me, she would never have to work another day of her life and I would provide for us and we would live happily ever after. 

It wasn’t long before I got greedy. People wanted me for my strength, after all. But once I found out that underground fighting was a thing… It was almost like I had forgotten about my vow years ago to never let Ma see me get hurt, to never have my sister have to patch me up again. I was leagues above the others, with my physique that I had spent years skillfully crafting. I never told my family the nature behind my new job, but all it entailed was me beating the crap out of other people. And people always bet on me, and they would always win of course. My technique was a little rusty at first but what I lacked in skill I more than made up for in strength. And when I wasn’t fighting and bringing home money, I was in the gym training. 

It wasn’t enough. Just a little more. Once I was stronger, I’d be able to protect them. 

Never mind the fact that I didn’t get to see much of my Ma or sister anymore, as I was always in the ring or in the gym. All that mattered was that I was powerful. That I had something to show for it. 

One day when I showed up to the ring, there was a large crowd and a lot of murmurs that I had never heard before. A new opponent? Nobody had dared to challenge me in eons. But here he was… a man that had a few inches on me in height, but definitely not in raw strength. They called him Chan? I had never heard that name before, so he must be new. 

One thing’s for sure, and that I was confident that this was a fight I could win. 

“Changbin, right? Why don’t we turn this into a bet?” He had asked me. 

I scoffed in his face. “Don’t make me laugh,” I told him. “You’re going to lose enough already, no? Do we really need to bring down your pride, your ego and whatever cash you have in your pocket? Let me do you a favor and spare you here and now.” 

The man only grinned in return. I could tell he was cocky and that only pissed me off. My adrenaline was already ready to go. 

“How about this. If I win, you’ll consider joining me and my team,” he had said. 

“Your team… Yeah, sure buddy. Whatever you say. What about when I win?” 

“If you win, Changbin, I’ll give you 10,000 dollars in cash.” My face blanched and my blood ran cold. He couldn’t be serious. He was that confident in himself?

“You’re on, man. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” We stepped into the ring and I cracked my jaw and knuckles in anticipation. I barely noticed the crowd getting larger and larger around us as we prepared. 

The makeshift ref blew their whistle and counted us down. “3… 2… 1… Go!” And we were off. I was in my element, of course. Years of training would finally pay off, I thought to myself. 

I barely had time to register how fast he was when the whistle blew. In half a second, he was across the ring and in front of my face. I blinked and saw a fist swinging for my face but had just enough time to duck, meeting his jaw with an uppercut. He took it like a champ, of course. Never had I seen someone that wasn’t instantly knocked out by the force of one of my uppercuts. I would usually save that for a finishing move, but today there was something on the line. 

He stepped back, his hand cradling his jaw for a second as he took me in. He smiled at me. Usually by now, once my opponent is humbled they would make a last-ditch effort to swing and swing, getting messy in an attempt to stake their claim and win. I saw none of that with Chan. His eyes were sharp, calculating, and for a second I almost felt like prey. 

“You’re strong,” he noted. “That’s why I want you.” 

“You and everyone else,” I told him. “Tell me something I don’t know.” 

I lunged forward, aiming for his stomach but I’m met with air. He dodged my blow? Stumbling forward, I wasn’t expecting to be swept off my feet. I didn’t even see him move! How could he have knocked me off balance that easily? 

Squinting, I saw the flash of his shadow moving. He jumped, making to tackle me to the ground but I read him too quickly. I rolled to my side, noticing when he made contact with the ground instead of my frame. ‘Two can play that game,’ I had thought. 

I’m on my feet in an instant, taking a defensive stance. 

“You’re loyal to a fault,” he said. “A family man. You’re protective, a caregiver. You want to be able to provide.” 

“How do you know all this?” I panted. I hadn’t had a fight in the ring this long in years. 

“I make it my business to know things,” he provided unhelpfully. “The top fighter in the city? Definitely my business.” I rolled my eyes at that. 

He moved forward and lunged with a right swing which I dodged with an arm. I reached to grab him but failed and instead was met with a blow right to my stomach that I had left unprotected. Holy shit. What muscle was this guy hiding? I coughed and sputtered and barely registered the sound of the crowd coming to a roar. 

He lifted up his leg as if to kick me and I was thrown into yet another defensive attack, throwing my arms up. I instinctively swung back but he wasn’t there–he had used the momentum from his kick to crouch to the ground, springing up to land an uppercut straight to my nose. I heard a loud crack before everything went dark. 

Chan later told me that I had been unconscious for about an hour. When I woke up, the crowd had dispersed and my coach was yelling at me about all the money I had lost him. Chan, in all his glory, had stayed until I was conscious again. 

I groaned. 

“So about my team,” he said, cracking a grin. “You want to be strong? You want to know how to protect your family, how to protect your mother and sister that you care so much about? There are things they need protecting from that you don’t even know about yet. They’ll be safe if you join SKZ, but if you don’t… bad things will happen to them. Let me tell you about it. Join me for a walk.” 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

taglist: @shuporanporang ; @purp13st4r ; @eurydiceofterabithia ; @heartsbyandra ; @thicccurls ;

@rylea08 ; @the-sweetest-rose ; @oddracha ; @kapelover ; @goldenmellow ;

@zerefdragn33l ; @uhh-awkward-rightt ; @astudyoftimeywimeystuff ; @kaleigh-2002 ; @thatonexcgirl ;

@mindfreecreator ; @linoalwaysknows ; @velvetmoonlght ; @minahaeyo ; @crystalchuuu ;

@hash2013 ; @skzswife ; @b0bbl3s ; @thecutiepieme ; @bear8585 ;

@moss-the-man ; @softkisshyunjin ; @sylveonitesworld ; @m00njinnie ; @nicoleparadas ;

@starsofasteria ; @klopez01 ; @luvlinos ; @hyunjinnnnnnnnnnnnnn ; @skz-akira ;

@boi-bi-ahaha ; @l33bang24 ; @hermione640 ; @gal82 ; @b-chansbbygirl ;

@kayleefriedchicken ; @notsojourni ; @hogwartslife64 ; @stilltrynafuckingtumble ; @ellelabelle ;

@melleus ; @hyun-bun ; @luminouskalopsia ; @leftovercigarettes ; @sabrina-gal-kpop

@ghostedgameplays ; @wealwayskeepfighting ; @meloncremesoda ; @Lovelino23 ; @bubblerizz ;

@blossominghunnie ; @sunlitangel777 ;

[warlocksoup]

haikyuu angstober

day two: shimizu kiyoko

art (in order): pomegranate photogroph by vlad loktev | love slowly kills by adrian borda

soundtrack: graceland too by pheobe bridgers

warnings: unviversity au, breakup, implied homophobia, disapproving family, unhealthy family dynamics

word count: 875

Kiyoko would do anything for her.

It was cloudy outside the day she rested her head in Kiyoko’s lap, hair splayed out against her jeans. Kiyoko’s dorm bed was cramped and uncomfortable, limbs tucked away and bent in awkward positions to accommodate them both. Kiyoko lost feeling in her left leg, and the tips of her fingers were like ice as she dragged them through the ends of her hair.

Her eyes kept fluttering shut, and then abruptly opening once she remembered that she had promised to stay awake. But Kiyoko didn’t mind; she had given up on paying attention to the film in favor of admiring her anyways.

“Kiyoko,” she said, thick and dumbstruck, eyes still closed.

“Yeah?”

“I think I’m really in love with you.”

It’s different now. It’s sunnier, brighter, warmth drifting in through the slightly cracked window. They’re on opposite sides of the bed, legs crossed and not looking at each other.

Kiyoko folds her hands in her lap, looking down at her thumbs as they tap together. She wants to touch her. She wants to take her hands between her own and place kisses along the line of her jaw and hold her in her lap. But something ugly sits between them now, and she can’t even bring herself to lift her head.

“I think,” she starts, voice hoarse and raw, like she’s had this conversation with herself a million times over. “I think we should break up.”

At first, Kiyoko does nothing. She just sits there, warm breeze not reaching her. It starts to slip over her, a slick, heavy oil that drips down the center of her spine. Her limbs feel like lead. Her eyes start to burn. She inhales sharply. “Are you sure?” Kiyoko asks her, because she doesn’t want her to be.

But still, she nods. Kiyoko watches the movement from the corner of her eye. “Yeah.”

A tear drops from her eyes to her entwined fingers. Kiyoko tries to blink the rest of them away. “Why?”

She doesn’t say anything. The only thing Kiyoko can hear is concentrated breathing and slight sniffling. She feels herself getting tenser. “Please tell me why,” Kiyoko insists again, sharper this time.

Again, there’s nothing. No response or explanation or excuse, and it’s finally enough for Kiyoko to snap her head forward. She’s looking back at her, eyes watering and lip trembling, and Kiyoko knows. “It’s your parents, right?”

“It’s what’s best for me,” is the weak, half-hearted defense she offers.

It’s not surprising to hear it. Kiyoko has heard enough passing comments and half-told stories to get a good understanding of how her parents work without ever having to meet them. Kiyoko knows what they’re like from the way her posture changes when they’re mentioned, from way her expression flickers and shifts.

‘I don’t think they’re the type of people you’ll ever want to meet,’ she had told Kiyoko before, slipping her hand out of Kiyoko’s as they trudged along a busy sidewalk, pushing past the other people around them. ‘I’ll be happier once they’re out of my life.’

Kiyoko shakes her head. “No, it’s not. Don’t say that.”

“What do you want me to do?” she sobs lightly, tears spilling over now. “Pay for school myself? Pay for housing? How am I supposed to get through school without them?”

“With me,” Kiyoko answers, insistent now, leaning in towards her. “Get through it with me. I’ll help you. We can get a place together, and we’ll work, and it will suck, but we could do it. You don’t have to-“

“Kiyoko, please,” she cuts her off. “It wouldn’t work. You know it wouldn’t work. You’d spend all your time working, and your grades would drop, and you’d lose sleep and never be able to see your friends, and-and you’d resent me for it.”

Kiyoko shakes her head. “No I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t ever.”

“Even if you didn’t, I don’t want that for you! Constantly struggling and never having enough of what you need. Always being tired. Never having a second for yourself. You already have too much to handle, I can’t make you take on more.”

“So I just have to lose you instead.”

“It’s what’s best,” she repeats again.

“It’s not what’s best,” Kiyoko contests, “it’s what’s easiest. You’re just scared.”

Her words fall between them, sitting limply in the middle of the bed. And she lowers her head, like she’s staring at them. “Maybe,” she concedes. Kiyoko feels panic crawl up her throat as she unfolds her legs and slides off the edge of her bed. “But it doesn’t matter either way. It doesn’t change anything.”

“I really wish it did.” Kiyoko feels like she’s begging now, voice and body trembling, tears spilling over. She clenches her muscles and bites back the urge to beg her to hold her.

“I’m sorry,” she says, “but please don’t contact me again.”

Kiyoko bites down on her bottom lip to hold back her sobs. She listens to her footsteps retreat, listens to the door open and gently close again. She counts to five after that, and then lets out a wail. Kiyoko’s arms go around her knees, and she pulls them up to her chest, rocking slightly.

Kiyoko would do anything for her.  

taglist: @hiraethwa @lale-txt @kr1nqu @angee444 @psychedellyc @geektastic84 @solzscribblez @asrinchin @nyxlai @miiyas @wyrcan @chocolains @tsumuus @kameyyy @sirhamburrger @kenmaria @recordsndreams

[hhughes]

Need Jack and Nico trying to convince her

“c’mon vi, don’t you wanna see your favourite devil in action?” nico asks with a grin, knowing jack and luke were gonna protest that statement

“okay, captain dimples, relax. we all know im her favourite devs player. right vi?” jack cuts in shoving nico lightly from their position on the couch as he leans closer to the computer screen

“sure jacky, you’re my favourite,” violet admits, looking at luke and sending him an exaggerated wink, causing the taller boy to smile slightly. god he missed her. even though he saw her at the detroit game only a few days ago.

he couldn’t describe to anyone what it was like, going from being with her 24/7 to seeing her maybe once a month, if he’s lucky. jack calls them out all the time for being “codependent” or wherever but if jack ever met a girl he wanted to spend more than one night with, he’d understand luke’s frustration.

even then, he’s not really sure jack would understand the extent of how much luke was missing her. they’ve known each other practically their entire lives and haven’t gone without seeing each other for more than three weeks max since grade 9. long distance fucking sucked, and he definitely wasn’t built for it. but he didn’t even feel like he could tell her that, because violet was a pro at just about anything she set her mind to, long distance included.

their phone calls were always filled with everything she’s been up to from classes, to dance, to coaching dance, to the big win the guys pulled off against ohio and the party afterwards. if she didn’t tell him that she missed him about 20 times during the call, he wouldn’t be able to tell that she does, probably because she’s so busy and she doesn’t even realize how much time passes before they see each other again. but luke’s busy too, and it still feels like forever for him.

sometimes it felt like she had this whole other life in michigan that he just wasn’t apart of anymore and you would think since this is their second year of long distance they would be at least a little used to it by now, but luke still gets chest pains just thinking about it.

“look guys I gotta go. I honestly don’t think I can swing it but I’ll think about it okay. just don’t get your hopes up,” violet says and all three guys nod

“even if you can’t swing the vancouver game, come to one of the home games soon then. s’a lot closer than van. i’ll fly you in myself, miss you,” jack mumbles, and violet smiles at him. her and jack had grown closer this past summer (if that was even possible) and she had missed him almost as much as her boyfriend these last few weeks.

“miss you too jacky,” violet replies and luke leans forward, reaching to grab the laptop and perching it on his lap so only he’s in the camera, despite the other two guys still sitting next to him

“okay baby. i’ll talk to you soon yeah? probably wednesday when we’re with quinn. i’m sure he’d love to say hi. i love you, get some rest,” luke says, heart squeezing when violet leans forward and kisses the camera

“miss you so much lu. and I love you so so much. i’ll text you tonight okay?” she greets, ending the call when luke nods in response.

“man I don’t know if I liked it more when you guys were oblivious to how in love you were or now that you’re so obvious about it,” jack states, fake gagging and their captain lets out a chuckle

“what was the story of you guys in high school and college anyway? i’ve heard a lot of things. . .” nico says and luke frowns at him

“heard a lot of things from who?” he asks, wondering whose been going around taking about his relationship.

“sheamo mostly. some of the guys have been asking him what you were like in college,” nico says and luke shrugs

“not much to tell really. we’re childhood friends, caught feelings, got together,” luke says and jack scoffs

“sure. you’re missing the 5 or 6 years where you guys were silently pining for one another just because you wouldn’t admit you had feelings,” jack says and luke sighs, rolling his eyes at his brother and getting up from the couch as jack begins to tell nico all the details he knows, not in the mood to stroll down memory lane on how long it took him and vi to pull their heads out of their asses.

“swear hockey players gossip more than the old ladies at grandmas weekly book club,” luke mutters, making his way to his room, planning to look at the calendar and arrange a time to fly his girl out.

[devilfic]

Reading right place, right time and found myself kicking my feet and twirling my hair at the thought of Bruce writing about the surgeon in his diary after their first encounter . 🥺😂 (Sorry, I’m being silly) 😭 but I really do wonder what he wrote. Would he have added any personal thoughts of his own or keep it about his routine? 🤔 sorry for this weird message. I love your writing 💕

this is not weird at ALL. I've been itching to talk about this! unlike in where two are joined, I'm trying not to tell any of it from bruce's perspective so that the reader can be immersed in their own pov. therefore,,, this gives me an excuse :)

when bruce gets home, he is not thinking about his diary.

in an uncharacteristic turn of events, he puts his body first and passes out on the couch in the terminus. he gets about an hour or two of sleep, something he deprived himself of in your apartment out of fear of letting down his guard.

he sort of jolts awake after that second hour, thinking that he had fallen asleep in your home. his chest heaves as he gathers his surroundings, registers the pain in his side, unaware of the hour. it takes him a few minutes to collect himself and then he's pulling off his suit piece by piece, assessing the damage at his desk. to his surprise, your stitches have held together pretty well. he pops a few main meds and pulls out his journal.

Wednesday, November 16th.

I made a miscalculation with the smugglers. The weapons they're moving are military grade, and from the communications I was able to intercept, they've got several buyers I can't afford to let get their hands on these guns.

I managed to put a dent in their inventory tonight, but for every shipment I hit, there are two more I miss. I can't be everywhere at once, which means I can't afford to lose momentum. I can't let up.

I sustained injuries from tonight including one gunshot wound. I was able to remove the bullet once I found somewhere safe to retreat, but the wound was worse than I anticipated and I struggled to keep the bleeding at bay. I made another mistake and intended on finding a place to rest—a nearby apartment I assumed to be empty—where I could at least stop the bleeding and send Alfred my location. But someone was there. Before I could escape, I passed out from the blood loss.

I must've been out for a few minutes. This stranger could have unmasked me, and I'm still not entirely sure they hadn't. Regardless, they were a doctor. They managed to stitch me up, and after some convincing, I rested in their apartment for the next three hours. I had no intention to, but I'm certain I wouldn't be writing this now if I hadn't done so. If it wasn't for them, I would be

I was desperate. I realize that now. I put myself and potentially someone else in danger. Someone who chose to help me. Their intentions seemed innocent, but I need to know for sure. I can't make any more mistakes. I won't.

after that, I think bruce just throws himself into researching you. he starts with gotham general, looks for all the surgeons, eventually finds your name, and he falls down this hole of finding out whatever he can about you: your age, where you went to school, your relatives and past jobs. he wants to know that this freak twist of fate was just that: a twist, an abnormality.

alfred finds him like that, ready to retrieve him for the tour (which bruce definitely forgot about). he's about to make a comment like "you're up early" and then he sees gauze taped to bruce's side and god, if alfred doesn't have steam blowing out of his ears by the time he's done yelling at him.

and later, when he's standing in front of you as bruce wayne, he's caught off guard again because what are the odds that you could save his life as some freak twist of fate once, only to have him run into you again not hours later?

and you're... whip-smart. kind. he hears you talk about the work you do and he can see how much you care about the people of this city. it's not in his nature to trust easily but when he gets home later that day he is poring into everything he can about you, searching for the chink in your armor. there must be something. maybe he's missed it or you're good at hiding but all of this feels too good to be true.

it takes him a few days after he finds your file for him to think it over. the stitches have held up. he's replacing his gauze in the bathroom and asks alfred if he thinks it's the right call.

"are you certain there's no one else?"

"a vigilante doctor?" bruce laughs, stretching his spine. "how would I take applications for that, exactly?"

"they're a civilian."

"they saved my life."

alfred holds his tongue, nearly chokes on it, "you must be prepared for this not to work out. or worse. you may never pick up that cowl again."

bruce stares at his hands, scarred from his long nights. he doesn't remember much after passing out, only the split second of finality and the regret that followed... until you brought him back, "I've already made peace with that."

[somecosmic-typashit]

I dropped witchcraft completely once I learned about law of assumption and understood everything I needed about it.

It's literally so damn fun to use, especially when it comes to your parents from this current reality who cling to 3D like their lives depend on it. Pure comedy gold.

This year I'm skipping classes at high school drastically a lot more than all previous years. I used to skip only when I was sick, but now I show up whenever I feel like it and I literally don't give a shit at all. I'm just here for shits and giggles atp, don't take nothing seriously because I only need myself for any kind of goal I wish to achieve.

The moment I stopped getting scared of getting marked for my absences, I stopped getting them, which is recent. I didn't listen to anybody telling me they'll call someone on me or my parents for my absence at school. I was like "yeah ik it can happen, but it won't to me, they don't give a fuck girl, chill." And they never did, even tho I had around 100+ of them.

Ofc, my parents doesn't want to excuse them or tell head of the class the reason for it so they can erase it. They constantly tried scaring me with it too, and I still didn't found a fuck to give basically. I just said "I never asked you to do anything about it. That ain't your problem." And it never was their problem, but they still kept getting mad at me. Ngl it's irritating a bit because they were also telling me since fifth grade in elementary school that I'll fail, that I'll be no one, this and that. Guess what? Never failed. Cuz I never listened to them. I even passed with some unfixed/negative marks. Even passed shit I was apparently worst at and had no chances of passing. Now you tell me I'm going to fail... LOA never fails, so I neither.

Today I was late to school unintentionally, (surprisingly). This time I couldn't get up at all, was sore and in pain from head to toe, barely moved, so I fell asleep right after immediately waking up. I woke up at 08:40 AM. Was like: "shit, but alr. They prolly won't mark me. I want goddamn coffee before stepping my foot outside, or else I'll rip someone's head off", so I started getting ready and made coffee like I do every morning. My dad was home, and he woke up after hearing rustling in the kitchen. Istg that man always wants to search for reasons and excuses to snap at someone or unleash his anger. So ofc, he left his room while clapping at me sarcastically, obviously mocking me and preparing himself to scold me for being late again. There was yelling, cussing, insulting (three in one shampoo ahh). Mf didn't want to let me to go school until he checked online journal for marks, tests, absences for school, whatever the fuck you call it in English, idk.

At first I got scared, but than I mentally slapped myself. "Bitch it's a trap, keep persisting that you have less absences". I quickly got back on my feet as for my desires and usual idgaf attitude. Cuz who this bitchass is fr to complain about my high school while he didn't even finish it.

HE WAS PREPARED AND HOPED TO SEE MORE OF MARKED ABSENCES LMAOO. While he was checking, he was still shouting at me angrily, but than slowly went quiet when he saw 30 excused absences jump to 70 excused of them magically and randomly. Didn't even ask questions or anything. I had to control every single muscle of my face to prevent myself from laughing at him, and I said "Told you, see how's there less to excuse?". He replied with "but there's 60 left." and I said "So there's more of excused absences than unexcused, aight. Gonna go to school now, BYEEEE." He angrily stomped into bathroom afterwards and I left, I was smiling whole time while on my way to school. Shit was too funny to keep a flat face. Man I love law of assumption sm. Be trolling bitches with it and making everyone mad.