#still gotta make the post abt the event.... the work never ends

[luxaofhesperides]

just made the SEXIEST prompt generator for the first ghostlights events

everyone better look at it and tell me its pretty. i spent so much time on it dhaksks

[kvgehiras]

waaaa i'm sure whatever you have typed up is great!! if you ever decide to post it, i'll look forward to it ♡

cough cough SO UM,,, ik this is oddly specific but i hope you don't mind aha .. a character of your choice with someone who has some important exams coming up soon, maybe?? i've like ... procrastinated like all of my work and slept through the entire few weeks before,, so i'm currently on the brink of eternal sleep (my fault, wholly, really) i don't mind who, just pick your favourite/s!!

thank you in advance!! qwq

hello again anon!! THANK U AAAA i might post it after the current event ends bcs im busy grinding lately lol but i will post it soon so i hope u like it ehe ;; as for ur schedule PLS SLEEP !!!! i do know the feeling off not doing any of ur work nd just resting but sometimes it's ok anon! studying when ur not feeling like it will only feel like a chore nd u probably wont be able to retain any of it. so study when u want to, bcs while exams r important, so r u hehe <3 anyways here r the charas!! wrote a lil scenario for mika, leo, nd rei!! hope u like it <3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆���. ───

KAGEHIRA MIKA

• mika overworks himself alot, mainly bcs he just wants to prove, to himself and others, that he is worthy of being a part of valkyrie

• but he still likes being a lil spoon when yall r cuddling (o˘◡˘o)

• while he is a powerful artist when hes on stage, he just melts when hes in ur arms yk!!!!

• so he doesnt mind it when lately u seem to be slacking off a bit more than usual bcs he gets more cuddles from u !!!!! #mika1stwin

• but when u suddenly stop out of nowhere nd even refuse to come out of ur room at times bcs uve procrastinated ur work too much nd if u do not finish going through ur material then ur doomed to fail nd oh lord-

• "(y/n)?"

• u look up at ur bf nd hes standing beside u- w his stuff in his hands.....?

• "ah ya see.....ya've been lookin' a lil stressed lately so i thought abt.....helpin' u like this! idk what is troublin' ya, but im here to always listen! :D"

• u break into a grin, one mika had missed so much, nd grab his cheeks to plant a kiss on his cheek

• nd still keeping ur hands where they are, u pull away to look at his bright red face

• "thank u mika... ill always be here for u too, ok?"

• nd he quickly nods, scared to meet ur eyes, esp bcs of the close proximity of ur faces rn

• what a lil baby

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

TSUKINAGA LEO

• leo is honestly the last person u want to see when ur trying to finish learning ur material,,,that too in a rush

• like!!!!! u love him u rlly do but this bitch will start doodling abt his inspiration nd all nd ur brain just cant focus yk

• that, nd also that if u dont give him Any attention At All he will literally wither away nd basically refuse to sleep nd WILL stare at u till u give him kissies (nd he alrdy doesnt sleep enough........ sigh)

• so when he wakes up in the middle of the night (the one night u managed to somehow get him to bed) nd doesnt see u in the room a part of him panics

• he quickly calls out for u nd when he hears u respond from the study room, he opens the door to see u slowly turn around from ur chair, tired, shoulders slumped over

• immediately rushing over, leo tightly wraps u in a hug, a hand running through ur hair

• "(Y/N)!!!!!!!!! WHERE WERE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I THOUGHT THE ALIENS KIDNAPPED U!!!!?!!???!!!!!!! DONT LEAVE ME AGAINNNNNN ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

• "leo it's 2 am.......nd also i didn't leave u, u know? im right here!"

• the exhaustion was very evident in ur voice, so much so that leo pulled away only to squint his eyes at u nd go "r u not ok? u sound tired ...... gasp r u DYING????????? NOOOOO U CANT DIE UR MY INSPIRATION!!!!!!!!"

• "leo thats v sweet nd while yes i Am dying im not leaving u it's ok"

• leo smiles, which turns into a grin, nd then he suddenly gasps again nd oh lord what idea is it this time

• "(y/n)!!!!! how abt i sleep here????????"

• ".....huh?"

• "YEA!!!!!! didn't u leave that room so u wouldn't disturb me?????? but im lonely so......ill just sleep on ur lap then, ok? ok! good nightttt!!!!!!!!"

• nd then he places his head on ur lap, the other half on his body relying on the chair he was previously sitting on for support

• while he isnt wrong abt the disturbance part.....he does look content here.......nd he does feel lonely so ......

• mayb u just gotta learn today what u can wing everything at this point...... it's gonna be ok . probably....?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

SAKUMA REI

• unlike the other two, rei wouldn't even have to guess that ur not doing ok, he would just Know

• nd what does he do to help? flirt w u nd get u to let him teach u obv!

• he Knows it's not rlly teaching, nd so do u, but what can u do when he looks at u w those puppy eyes of his, nd says that he'll do anything nd everything in his power to always help u

• so when he does take in whatever u have to study he..... he realises he's Also bad at this

• good job rei rlly helps out a ton!

• anyways to make up for it, nd also stick w his promise to help u, he tells u to go through the material, nd explain it to him! he heard somewhere that it works bcs it forces u to rlly understand the concept instead of memorising it nd u think it should work

• but oh god how is it supposed to work when rei keeps looking at u w stars in his eyes, nd his hand suddenly grabs urs nd he circles his thumb on the back of ur hand nd IS HE FLIRTING IN THE MIDDLE OF A STUDY SESSION

• rei playfully quirks an eyebrow when he sees u get flustered nd just . lay ur head on the table w sigh nd just whine

• "REIIIIIIIII I HAVE TO STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

• he chuckles bcs he does realise what hes doing to u nd honestly he loves ur reactions so he keeps doing it

• "fufufu.....sorry love, i'll be quiet now. go on, do ur thing." (liar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ur too flirty for a study session!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

• tip : never keep him in the same room as u when u have work to do . keeps flirting . too much distraction .

• ratings : 200/10 . the additional 200 points is bcs hes too cute to say no....... god he rlly has u wrapped around his finger huh

[bookshelfdreams]

Ahhhh, your self bound books just look really beautiful? All the color choices and the layout just look soooo good together. And that's such a beautiful gift? I have not read primium non nocere, as I haven't watched Charité but if it is worthy of such a tribute I am definitely giving it a shot anyway. I'd also be really interested of your creative process and choices with the binding, if you're willing to talk about that

hi omg! thank you so much <3<3 Primum Non Nocere is a very good story, and I'd say even if you haven't seen the show, give it a shot anyway, if you're interested? I mean, by all means, try the show as well, season 2 is on Netflix w english subs afaik and it's also really, really good (not perfect, but leagues better than the stuff this country usually makes abt the nazi regime). It's a retelling of canon events from a character's perspective who isn't a focal character in the show - there's probably one or two points at which it skips canon events or may seem a little jumpy, but overall, it's more of a companion piece to canon than a classic fanfic. It's very well researched and detailed; it expands on canon in beautiful ways and honestly, fits with it seamlessly; it might as well be an official novelization (although its focuses are a little different than the og)

as for the bookbinding, I'm really flattered you're interested in my process! I'm still very much a beginner, but I'm slowly figuring out something that works for me.

Also, I don't really know what information you're looking for, so I'm just gonna share some things that come to mind. This isn't really a step-by-step how-to but if you're interested in that, I can try to take some pictures next time I make a book and make a better reference post.

Typesetting

I typeset in OpenOffice because that's my office suite of choice & I'm old; I have never used google docs and I don't plan on starting. I download the fic in html, and then just copy/paste the text chapter by chapter; that's easiest for me. As for fonts, I wanted it to look vintage but I definitely didn't want it to have Nazi aesthetics. I went with Baskerville for the main text (which is such a beautiful font, it might become my go-to) (Garamond is what is most commonly used in books I think, but it almost looks too professional for me. I love that Baskerville has this very distinct, vintage feel to it.) and an Art Deco font for the title and chapter headings. Overall I think it looks more 1920's which, considering that the Nazis really hated the Weimar republic, seems fitting. I'm happy with how it turned out and I hope the author is, too :) As for the rest, it's set in 16pt, 120% line spacing and the margins could be a little larger, tbh, but it works and I'm a little stingy with the paper XD

OpenOffice also lets you draw simple graphics directly onto the document which is what I did for the title page and the little ornaments at the beginning of the chapters.

To make signatures, I use Quantum Elephant Bookbinder. It does what it's supposed to, the only thing that doesn't quite work is the flyleaf option, but I can just add that in the og pdf.

Book construction

I print on copying paper, 80gsqm. It's recycling, 55CIE which is really quite grey; I like it, because white is uncomfortable for me to look at. As for grain, I cut my sheets from A3. The grain is also wrong there, so I ended up wasting half the paper. Whatever; I think it's worth it. Having the grain in the right direction (parallel to the spine) makes it feel so much more like an actual book and not just a stack of copying paper stapled together. I honestly believe it's more important than having fancy paper.

After folding, I do not use a model and an ale for punching holes; instead I put all the signatures together in my makeshift press (2 old cutting boards and 2 bar clamps), I draw some guidelines and then I use a fine saw to cut them all at once.

I sew the signatures on tapes for stability; it makes keeping consistent tension easier. I use linen bookbinder's thread (worth it) and cotton tapes from the craft store (they do their job, and linen sewing tapes are hard to source & expensive). I do not have a sewing frame; but what I do is, I tape the tapes to the underside of my cutting mat, place the signature on top (fold aligned with the edge of the mat) and use a weight to keep it in place. It works okay.

After sewing, I round the spine with this method, which works surprisingly well. I do not trim the edges (I know myself well enough to know that it would not end well) & instead tap the short sides & spine to the table to align the signatures as perfectly as possible.

The rest is done as in pretty much any other tutorial. No backing, because I don't have equipment for that. I like to sand down the edges of the cover boards a little, so they're a bit rounded; I think it makes for nicer haptics.

Decorations

I like to make as much of the book myself as possible. There's several reasons for that; first of all, fancy handmarbled or printed paper, headbands, bookmarks etc are expensive. Second, I have a crafting addiction & what's the point of projects like this when you buy everything you could make yourself, right? But thirdly (most importantly) it's simply that my book blocks look pretty shitty (that's, untrimmed and uneven). But that's okay; you gotta embrace the "amateurishly handmade" look & just have to amateurishly handmake everything. Adding just one or two perfect, machine-produced details looks kinda jarring.

Paper decoration - mix water soluble paint and wallpaper paste and go wild (videos are in German, sorry, idk if this is a thing that's really done in the anglophone world? But I think they're pretty easy to follow even if you don't understand the instructions). I like to use this for covers, mainly, I'm also experimenting with decorating endpapers this way. The paste makes the paper really rough and horrible to the touch; as the very last step, I wax the cover (with a beeswax-based furniture polish. Floor wax works as well, it just doesn't smell very nice). Be careful not to get any on the bookcloth, it will cause stains & ruin everything at the last second.

Headbands - I found this tutorial very helpful.

Bookmarks - this gave me so much trouble. Most amateur bookbinders seem to use cotton, polyester or satin ribbons, which is fine, I guess. I don't particularly like either option. At first I thought I could weave my own; that didn't work out, because weaving tiny bands is harder than it looks (& also the resulting ribbon was much too stiff). But! Bookmarks in professionally made books aren't woven at all; they're braided. Seven-stranded braids work pretty well (tutorial is for 5 strands, but 7 strands work the same). As for the headbands, embroidery floss is best imho (silk would, of course, be traditional but come on). Mercerised cotton crochet thread works as well but isn't quite as nice.

this turned out way too long lol. Sorry. Hopefully the answer you were looking for is in there somewhere. Again, thank you and have a lovely evening!

[ningdungi]

fairy prince!yeonjun

this has been in my draft for so long since CYSM i decided to just post it...lengthy and messy because originally it was just a prompt :D also inspired by she-ra and the princesses of power lol i love that show

pairing: yeonjun x reader (fem)

genre: fantasy, a little angsty

summary: you got captured by yeonjun, the crown prince of the fairy kingdom in the magic forest

choi yeonjun, the crown prince of the fairy kingdom deep in the magic forest

the fairy kingdom has been one of the greatest protectors of the forest for thousands of years, along with other kingdoms in the magic island

the island being covered almost 1/3 by the forest, the fairy kingdom remains one of the biggest and strongest kingdom to ever exist

however, it is also not the friendliest kingdom as it is hidden deep in the forest to protect the ancient magic and stones

the foreign organization exploits the hell out of the island but never get to touch the forest as it is protected by magic and ancient spirit of the ecosystems

the leader of the evil interstellar organization wasn’t so dumb either, they waited for years preparing the best strategy to get what they want: the ancient magic and (said to be) stolen stones to combine with their crazy technology so they can conquer the universe

the leader of the evil interstellar organization wasn’t so dumb either, they waited for years preparing the best strategy to get what they want: the ancient magic and (said to be) stolen stones to combine with their crazy technology so they can conquer the universe

mistaken for a new kingdom, the evil organization is known for their evil sinister king. When rlly he’s just a capitalist asshole that only cares abt money and power... and his precious daughter—or what the locals call—the evil princess, you

he also has a younger son, prince taehyun, your half-brother, who happens to be a genius and good with technologies. But his father wanted him to be a warrior, not some nerd. So he’s never really fond of him :(

one day you grew tired of being seen as a delicate doll that needs protection, you’re a trained warrior that’s always at least on the top 3 in class. Plus you’re older than taehyun so you need to prove yourself to your father if you want to be force captain and to take the throne one day (yes i’ve been watching a lot of she-ra) but your father just couldn’t risk it

one day, the your kingdom poisoned the forest and unlike any previous failed attempt, this time it finally worked

the day the invasion occurred, you sneaked out of the evil kingdom to join the force that your half-brother co-lead... i mean, you have lots of knowledge about the history and ecosystem of the magic forest, thanks to the help of your best friend, healer elf prince!soobin, whose kingdom had been corrupted by your father (but he still hangs around bc they did no harm to the elf kingdom, just taking over the whole region)

i mean, what could possibly go wrong?

well thee answer is: everything

you got captured IMMEDIATELY by the fairies

even better, you’re captured by the fairy prince!yeonjun himself. you were sneaking in the trees under the moon light, in the dark dark forest. and thats how you ended up being strangled by the prince himself and tied up with vines and thorns

you were in an awe the entire time bc you had no idea that the fairy prince would be this beautiful and ethereal. he just looks so... delicate and magical and soft, despite the fact that he almost choked you to death

you’ve just never seen any creature as beautiful as him, all glowing and sparkling softly under the moonlight

the glimmering luxurious pastel dress that he wore fits him perfectly, and the flower crown on his blonde locks made little butterflies fly upon him. His eyes cold but shines brightly, and everywhere he goes, he leaves trails of fairy dust and sparkles

but to your surprise, he’s kinda mean and short tempered. A frown never leaves his soft peachy lips

one look at you and he goes "... and what could the infamous little princess of the evil kingdom be doing in MY land? doing MEAN and EVIL stuff? hm??”

you’ve heard about the fairies not being the most friendly creature but you thhought they were just vicious, not sarcastic and seems angry all the time

and strangely enough, unlike other fairies, he didn’t have wings. And the flower crown on his blonde hair looked more like horns growing out of his head

he grew impatient from your lack of response but he couldn’t kill you yet, he needed you to get back at the evil kingdom

so he brought you to his kingdom—the kingdom’s prison, to be exact. But it’s just a beautiful chamber filled with wild plants and flowers and glowing fireflies underneath the moonlight, you were kinda confused when he said it’s a prison since the concept of prison that you grew up with is practically just a cold dark chamber of torture

“THIS is your PRISON? you sure you’re not taking me on a fairy date just now? to meet your pretty little fairy friends?” you said with a smug on your face, knowing that he wouldnt dare to intentionally hurt you, as he is a creature of natural protector despite his short temper

so you use this opportunity to annoy the hell out of him

“pretty flower crowns you got there” “btw where are your wings? aren’t all fairies supposed to have sparkly translucent wings?” “honestly i thought prisons are supposed to be a little more dark and intimidating you know, not like this pretty fairy garden”

you’d give him headache and the urge to use some forbidden magic curse on you but he didn’t because your corpse wouldn’t do any good

“these are HORNS! and not every fairy have the same physical features, stop stereotyping us! it’s disrespectful” he snapped

you were just complimenting him why is he always so cranky

i mean his horns look so beautiful they could easily be mistaken as a crown...

after gathering some information, you broke out of the prison with the help of the dying forest and weakening magic force

but you didn’t want to return just yet. you needed to gather more information as the forest started to heal

also you’re kinda lost your way back home lol

your father was FURIOUS, he blamed everyone for your abduction. even your little brother got enough beating for that

as days gone by, you feel like you’re getting closer to the secrets of the island, and also the fairy prince

and every encounter with him it’s just consist of a lot of bickering and sword fighting and being angry at each other

one time your faces were far too close to each other it made you let your guards down, but you snapped out of it quickly and proceed to strangle him

for some reason he never try to actually kill you and you never seem to get the right chance to kill him. it’s weird coming from you bc that’s literally what’s you’re trained for, to kill the prince. you still gotta prove yourself, remember?

but you’re getting used to each other’s presence so much that it became amusing for him

“wow (y/n) this is actually a fun date idea. I’m giving it a 4/10. could’ve been a solid 10 if you didn’t try to stab me in the ribs tho :/“ he said in the middle of a sword fight

one day you’re battling in some strange part in the forest, you were spying on him but got caught

but little did you know, it was one of the forest’s sacred sites. It’s filled with the strongest magic and ancient technology and guarded by forces you don’t know yet

you got struck by some ancient magic, resulting in some strange event to happen. which led you to be captured by the fairy prince yeonjun himself, again

you were kinda weak from the struck so most of the time he’s the one guarding you in the prison, keeping an eye on you and limiting your suspicious moves

so all you can do in the meantime is to either insult his annoyingly beautiful prison or annoy the prince himself

he always seems pissed and suspicious for no reason so it’s kinda fun to you

“are you in pain or something? did you get struck by some strange magic too? why are you always so mean and angry?? are you hurting somewhere ??"

“excuse YOU? am i supposed NOT TO ?? maybe i wouldn’t be so mean and angry all the time if the evil kingdom DON’T try to exploit the forest ALL THE TIME, every think of that? does that ring a bell? here's a hint: i’m talking about YOU, princess (y/n)” he’d roll his eyes, angrily walking in circles. kinda mad at his dad for making him guard you

i mean... there should be enough guards in this castle, right?

little did you know, the magic is actually weakening... leaving the royal bloods’ magic the only force that can protect the forest, for now

“for the hundreth time, i am NOT a princess! i’m a fucking warrior, so stop calling me that!” sometimes you get pissed for his sarcastic remarks and his attitudes in general too. also this time you’re not really feeling well after the struck

“whatever you say, my princess” he’d blow flower petals on your face before giving you a smirk, dancing away gracefully as he picks flowers and tuck them into his flower crown... dozens of flowers immediately grows back for every single flower he picks from the ground, what a sight

you’d blush and try to look away. he never used his magic and charms for this type of things, usually it’s just for some silly pranks or weak attempts temporary torture in the battlefield (bc using magic drains his energy quickly)... so why now? was he really using magic or was is it just you?

after so many encounters and chances of being alone together, you sure know how to get on each other’s nerves... and each other’s head

you were there for a couple days, it’s kinda weird that you didn’t try to escape

turned out you were kinda sick, the strange magic struck weakened your senses and abilities. but you didnt want to admit it nor let him know that you’re literally vulnerable right now

you were smart enough to use this opportunity to get close to him, telling lies about how pitiful your life’s been as a princess and how you just want to prove yourself to your father, you don’t even care about conquering the universe

he didn’t buy that at first, not until you told him about how the evil kingdom sees the forest. you’d say your father thinks the fairies are the bad guys bc they stole the stones from the ancestors of your father’s planet thousands of years ago and that they’re just trying to get it back to heal their dying planet

you didn’t lie at that part, it was true... at least for the invaders. that’s how he kinda get surprised he had to tell the fairies’ version of the story

turned out that it’s all just a misunderstanding between the two parties, but unlike yeonjun being the democratic soon-to-be leader that he is, you still want approval

which you can only get by killing the fairy crown prince yeonjun before his coronation

but jokes on you, you kinda have feelings for him too. you didnt even try to kill him when he fell asleep holding you in his arms... you’d always say to yourself that ‘it wasn’t the right time’ to kill him just yet

of course it wasn’t. there never was, and never will be. you love him, dumbass. even the moon shining upon you the two of you could easily tell

he’d start to tell you secrets... secrets of the forest, his ancestors and families, the kingdom, the magic island, everything

you knew the forest is dying, but what you didn’t know is that he never wanted to be king,, he doesn’t feel like he’s qualified to be one. hell, he doesn’t even have wings, and he’s got horns growing out of his head. no fairy king or queen written in history of the magic island to not have wings, ever

“but it’s not required, right? literally nobody said you’ve got to be born with wings in order to be a fairy king. it’s already in your blood, yeonjun.” you would reassure him as you lift his chin so you can clearly see his eyes... all shaky and scared

he’d kiss you and you swore you almost forgot about your personal mission of luring and getting him into your trap

he told you about when he was just a fairy child... other young fairies and forest creatures bullied him for having horns and no wings,, i mean... he’s a fairy after all. it’s actually really natural, it’s just unusual among the immature creatures

one day he ran away way too far out of the forest... to the giant thorned vine bushes that looked like a cavern... it was dark and scary, he’s never seen this part of the island before

he didn’t know that it’s an entrance to the darker side of the island, where your father landed the ship and invaded a whole region of natural resources and innocent creatures, including the elf kingdom

and then he met a little girl, holding a basket full of flowers and wild berries, with a messy flower crown made of wild flowers on her head. she approached him and asked him softly if he’s lost and why is he crying

he was scared at first because she’s dressed like human, but after a while he learned that she’s harmless. he told her he’s scared that one day he’s gonna turn into a monster bc of his growing horns

“horns? i thought these were a crown... a very peculiar one, i must admit. but didn’t you say you’re a prince? a prince is supposed to wear a crown, right?” the little girl said brightly

“here, let me tuck these flowers in between your hairs and horns... now it’s a flower crown! it’s always been a crown, but now you have flowers!” she would jump around happily, which made the little prince smiled a little too

the story kinda shocked you... could it be that...?

no, snap out of it! it’s not even important nor relevant to your current circumstances

but you never thought that the crown that he proudly wore all the time has been... a growing pain for him

speaking of pain, the part of your back that’s got struck by the strange magic the other day keeps hurting you, and that night it started to get worse, two vertical scars started to form, followed by black liquid running down from each one

“you’re hurt! why didn’t you tell me?” he snapped, his voice filled with worries and anger. maybe it’s because of the fact that black blood could only mean one thing... dark magic

he took care of you and looked after you all the time

and yet you’d still tell him lies... and giving him false hopes

“let’s run away, together... to somewhere far, somewhere safe, we can build our own forever...”

[dragimal]

ok this is like. MAJORLY self-indulgent, self-psychoanalyzing rambling so I’m putting it under a readmore, but my thoughts have been spinning in circles over this for like. practically my whole teen/adult life. and I just need to put it down somewhere

idc if anyone wants to read this or respond or anything, again I’m just basically trying to vomit out my thoughts until something makes sense

so like. anxiety. I know I have it, that’s the ONE Problems Disorder I’m 100% certain I’ve got, to whatever degree it matters

but that’s kinda the thing-- to WHAT degree, and DOES that matter? at what point can I say it’s a legitimate part of me, and at what point is it something negligible and unobtrusive?

b/c here’s the other thing-- anxiety is, in fact, a strong aspect of my self-image. it’s something I associate strongly with as a character trait, and I tend to relate to ‘meek’ characters

I know part of it is a defense mechanism. I had to make myself small, being raised by my mom. she’s a whole other rant, but essentially she’s a very defensively prideful person, and any attempt to steer a conversation towards your own accomplishments/needs/interests is met with a blank look and a swift topic change back to herself. (and god forbid u bring up her faults, that would guarantee manipulative guilt-tripping at best, screaming and crying at worst)

but there’s also another convoluted level to this defense mechanism. I recognized at a young age, on some subconscious level, that pride was/is my mom’s greatest downfall. so I internalized that as, “pride (and even more broadly, confidence) is bad and and a danger to those around you” 

not to be Homestuck on main, but Dave’s first conversation with Dirk struck me on a level of personal experience that few other pieces of media have ever hit, particularly this bit

obviously the physical aspect of this abuse is beyond me, but the emotional manipulation, and Bro subsequently ruining a generally positive concept (the concept of heroism, in his case) hits incredibly close to home

my mom exuded confidence and always told me that confidence in myself over all else would save me, but she ultimately ruined confidence for me. I know there will always be this underlying thread of fear that if I’m not afraid-- that if I allow myself confidence-- that I will become like her. that I’ll hurt people with my pride

now this is all shit that I’ve known abt myself for a long time, and I know I’ve even mentioned some of this in passing before. but here’s what’s fucking me up nowadays: what happens when you cling to anxiety like this? what happens when you craft a disorder into your personality? where does subconscious reaction end and deliberate masking begin?

b/c here’s the other thing: I don’t truly hate myself. not rly-- not on the level I would say is dangerous or clinical. some of it may very well be real, but I definitely play it up. like play-acting at under-confidence

and it’s not like I don’t have pride either. I have tons of pride for various things I do or accomplish, namely academic studies, crafting/art, and just like working standards in general. when I can eloquently describe/argue my point, or accurately craft something to my inner image, I feel very real pride

but pride hurts. I feel pride, but equal to that is the shame I feel at feeling pride in the first place. it’s genuinely painful at times to accept a compliment without argument NOT because I necessarily disagree (tho there are definitely times where I DO actually disagree), but to accept a compliment is to admit I have pride in the thing being complimented, and THAT is unacceptable

and it’s not like my fear is unfounded either. I’ve hurt ppl w/ my pride before-- and this isn’t my anxiety making me self-critical, I KNOW this for a FACT. it simply comes with the territory of all that “gifted child” bullshit in school. yeah I was one of those. thankfully not a very outspoken student (the anxiety in my younger days was a lot more real and visceral), but I do still distinctly remember moments where my academic pride gave me an... inflated sense of presence over those that didn’t get the material, I guess u could say

I know there were times I made ppl feel small, due to my pride. hell, times I got overly, fearfully defensive of my knowledge or artistic skill to the point of talking over others and making them feel stupid. no one deserves to feel small, and it fucking tears me up to know that I did that to ppl. that I still knee-jerk react in that way sometimes, even now, and it still slips out

and isn’t that just proof that I can’t appropriately handle pride? that I’m not mature enough for confidence?

and it’s not even all about making myself small for others’ sake. half of it is this incredibly selfish knowledge that not living up to my own standards will fucking kill me if I let it

I feel like every ‘gifted kid’ experiences a chain events that starts at, “wow I’m so smart, I’m great at every subject!” and ends at, “christ I’m fucking garbage at literally everything.” we’re taught that success is in being able to do something well the first time (or at least quickly and with little effort), so if we’re not immediately good at something, we shut down b/c we were never taught that success is actually in the effort at the task

this has been talked to death by others so I don’t want to bother w/ it too long, but the critical thing to note is that there’s there’s this eventual sense of defeat in everything you do, when ur brought up w/ this mindset

I used to be somewhat competitive in certain things when I was younger-- the rare sports I played when I was RLY young, academics obviously, etc. or at least, competitive with my own personal standards, if not necessarily against other ppl. but every failure and mistake made me so upset that the angst was like. genuinely dangerous to my health

I used to play golf on a team in middle school, and every time I whiffed it I would get SO angry at myself that my dad literally told me that that level of upset would kill me someday and that I rly needed to stop

so I took that to heart and just. stopped caring

every time I whiffed it after that point, I was just like, “ah, well, what can ya do ¯|_(ツ)_/¯ ” this attitude definitely lowered my blood pressure, but it also rly killed my motivation to like... improve. b/c the thought of even trying to improve brought up all these feelings abt trying to meet my own standards of success, and how much it would hurt to fail

when u don’t set any standards u gotta meet, then when u fail u don’t rly fail, y’know? “well I didn’t even try, so it’s actually fine”

obviously I couldn’t give less of a shit abt golf anymore, but sometimes I wonder if my cold-turkey drop in confidence played a part in killing the interest itself? I know that sports and physical activity were never rly my thing in the first place, but did I perhaps give up so hard that I convinced myself that I didn’t even like those things in the first place?

I know it happened w/ academics at least: start to struggle with math? now I hate math. chemistry? that sucks too. etc etc

I kinda side-tracked here w/ all the talk of ‘gifted kid’ stuff, my point is that I have a vested interest in humbling myself-- to actively craft the persona of a meek, humble person

and I’ve been wondering if that, in and of itself, is manipulative. like, is it manipulative to let others think I rly lack THAT much in self-confidence? that I rly hate myself that much?

it certainly feels that way when I knee-jerk reject a compliment abt something I do, in fact, feel pride in-- when the shame at that pride is too much. but my friends don’t know it’s that reactive shame-- they think it’s that I rly don’t have confidence in that thing

but god, how do I even explain this fucking tangled, convoluted bullshit over my reaction to compliments? that I have to be small or I’ll hurt someone? that I do feel pride, and that’s the problem? what does that even MEAN to someone outside my own head??

and that’s not even to get into whether that manipulation is like, actually some subconscious tactic to get MORE compliments! am I fishing? when I make a post like this, am I actually just fishing for more compliments? is that what I’m doing??

I feel like I’m running in circles here, nipping at my own goddamned heels abt pride and shame and what is real and acting and does it even matter if nobody gets hurt?

do people get hurt? ppl get hurt when I allow myself pride, it’s happened before. but now I’m realizing that my self-hate may hurt ppl too-- my self-deprecation often goes too far, and it hurts the ppl who care abt me

how do I explain that self-deprecation is safe? a shield to hold back my pride? hell, it’s more accurate to say it’s a safe way to EXPRESS my pride in a way that ppl don’t detect. I acknowledge my faults, and if I frame it in a socially-acceptably comedic way, I get the pride of making someone laugh! it’s SAFE pride!

but is it? but is it, when it hurts ppl to hear me self-hate?

is there any way to feel pride safely?

I’ve never thought of myself as an actor, or as someone who can lie well (or at all). but can I lie, when I also believe the lie? is it a lie that I have anxiety? that I hate myself? that I have no confidence?

how much of me is real? how much does that hurt others? how do I carve out the parts of me that hurt others how do I make myself smaller in ways that are genuine and lasting and don’t hurt people??

I want to be small. I like being small. but am I small? or am I playing at being small?

I don’t know. I don’t know.

(cashing in on that safe comedic validation babeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy)

[ssaalexblake]

star wars spoilers

ros spoilers

move onnnn

like actual proper major spoilers and i’m making this intro long in case mobile decides to hate read mores today

... 

...

Anyway like, i am a Shallow sw viewer who isn’t actually likely to kick up a fuss abt what i didn’t like in any serious way even tho i got issues, But i wanna say what i really liked b/c?? there were moments in that movie with themes i Loved and i don’t wanna be negative nancy for this franchise because i am actually incapable of taking it seriously tbh no matter how wtf or wild it is and i just Gotta;

First of all. The entire franchise was worth Rey it for calling Leia Master. 

like, they added her in best as they could, which wasn’t fabulous but i can’t really say how they’d work their way around that tbh so i’m not gonna rag on abt the Leia plot But god they proper confirmed she was a Legit Jedi thank u V much.

Chewie!!! Got!!! his!!! medal!!!

they put porgs in the movie, it was my only request and i recieved. i am content. 

also the effects on old palps were Incredible and Creepy and!!! props to the vis effects teams

also s/o to the choreographer who planned out rey’s fighting style to look like gymnastic tumbles but with a murderous glow stick. love it.

idk what extended sw canon now says about force powers being able to heal But the old eu book shatterpoint is one of my faves and i loved the inclusion that Rey can just like. Heal. 

also lol i heard daisy ridley on the radio this morning and she was supposed to be requesting songs to air but didn’t know the names of them and i have Never related to anybody more than i did in that moment. 

look ok, that rey and kylie could literally fight each other when not in the same room was Really Cool ok

tho i would have Paid to have seen the pov of an outsider while they had lightsaber battles from miles away tbh b/c that would have been Wild

i had one Horrified moment where i thought the ‘rise of skywalker’ thing was a Pun about kylie dragging his ass up from that hole and u have No Idea how thankful i was @ the Rise sequence

also i, a massive mace windu fan, was Ecstatic his voice was present in the proceedings

which were A) tacky and B) Abdolutely my favourite thing ever. 

it’s a space opera ok i am allowed to Want to be here for the tacky heartwarming shit

‘is that the navy??!?!?!?!?@ ‘ no sir... it’s.. .People’ was one of the funniest yet heartwarming sequences in anything ever ngl

HORSE WARTHOGS

inexplicable lin manuel miranda cameo

rey’s temper explained due to the fact that she is related to... Vilanelle

and look ok, i Always hated the idea of Rey being related to the skywalkers and Any crap meta that she had to be family for it to Count properly. It was an insult to found family, any form of adoption etc etc and i am.. Actually very mollified by this familial turn of events lol. It has a certain symmetry. and sw is literally built on the idea that history repeats but... different. 

i was’t against rey being related to anybody, i just didn’t want her to be a skywalker because like... she was gonna Be a skywalker b/c legacy isn’t about blood, and uh... least i was right. i am naturally happy abt this. 

also when i watched tlj the first time i was CONVINCED at the end of the movie she’d raise luke’s x wing from the depths as yoda did for luke in esb, and was Super off put that i was wrong. I was not wrong just... my timing was off. luke rose the x wing for her. ur yoda now luke. deal with it. 

the other ex storm troopers who laid down their weapons!!! all of them!!! fin is not alone, they only have power by making you think you are alone!!! 

i Really loved that thematic thread btw

also richard e grant’s performance was actually kind of chilling

but i am glad that i can still happily say that every character in sw Is a total unmitigated idiot. All of them. Stupid. Idiot rights. Yes, this is a plus point. 

i also liked that it’s Kind of obvious hamill and ford picked up slack for what Would have been carrie’s scenes??? Like, it’s horrible she’s not there but they obviously care to do that in her stead. it’s sad but makes you smile. 

as much as i’m not a kyle fan and never will be, and as much as i am not a fan of the ship, i can’t say there there weren’t decent thematic threads around the rey and kylie plot. Her symbolically killing kylie in a fit of rage, actively actually rising to his bait, realising as luke did in the roj climax that she had let the dark side get the better of her But having the power to take that Back and heal him and Stop even after she’d done something. It’s like the originals but not. And so, kylo is dead and Solo walks again. Was this plot My thing? No. But i appreciate the symbolism of him being stabbed through the stomach like he did to Han, and i appreciate the contrast of her actions after doing that versus His after he did it. What a difference. 

i said this wasn’t a complaint post but u wanna know the worst part abt the movie??? how cheap the sith dagger looked. surely u can do better than that???

anyway, 3po’s red eyed when he translated the sith was hilarious tbh. 

also hilarious: sw’s response to hiring Another brown haired white lady was to Only show her eyes in a way that was Incredibly conspicuous and was therefore unintentionally hilarious. 

Finn is Explicitly force sensitive now and it’s over for y’all 

wedge!!!

like... the sith amphitheater???  with the ghosties of all sith past (i think??? my interpretation anyway) was Genuinely creepy??? 

this is a Bit of a side note, but Luke was Perfectly in tune with tlj luke??? Because tlj luke changed tune before the end of That movie when he gucci booted his astral ass to distract kylie, him Saying his fear was wrong was merely verbal confirmation of what was portrayed in tlj. really. That’s not them backing away from tlj, it’s afffirming it. 

i really loved that hux just got That death. I liked  that while he Was used for ridiculous comic relief, the narrative did not forget he was just straight up evil. 

L A N D O

that i all. that’s the point. just lando.

sheev palpatine’s late entry for Shittiest parent/paternal figure in the sw universe Was at the eleventh hour but by god did he give it his all to win the competition. 

things only relevant to cm fans: they killed kate callahan’s husband!!! :((((

critics are slamming them for like, hardly killing anybody but I for one am happy they didn’t go grimdark and just went. Fuck it, we’re gonna keep being bullheadedly optimistic and most everybody lives, deal with it.

s/o to that gay moment that lasted like 2 solid seconds but i’d have preferred it if she’d been like, making out w/ chewie tbh.

that hug!! the trio hug!! my ot3!!! that i am even more convinced would Properly work as an ot3, too btw. Poe spent the whole movie jealous finn is into Rey, while confused abt it b/c He’s also kinda into Rey in that han/leia Tension kinda way, but Finn is also into Poe but not in the Puppy way he is with Rey, in the ‘i am so in love w/ you i don’t realise it but i trust you with the world’ kinda thing and Rey also has the Tension thing w/ Poe and would do anything for Finn but she’s like... Busy. B/c like, unfortunate family reunions and the awkwardness of being a millennial Actually offered a decent job that your morals do not allow you to take and the crisis that leaves u with. 

anyway what i’m saying is the ot3 is Sailing in my head. look how it ended!!! Sailing. 

however, i would like it known that the lady at the end Should have heard the word skywalker and Run for the hills. missed a chance. 

But also Rey Did find that family of hers Maz told her she’d get ahead of her!!! i hate how many ppl say that was dropped or forgotten. like wtf??? what are finn and poe and chewie and bb8 and 3po and all the army of droids that love her and all the resistance that does too??? Luke and Leia??? y’all obsessed with blood when it comes to sw. She’s got her family. 

now i Could make a complaints post but i just... I’ll leave that to everybody else and their mothers for now bc they’d be better at it anyway. I liked This stuff. Except for that point about the dagger. that sucked. 

[spitestudies]

hello everyone!! as a high school junior taking 4 aps, 3 other classes, preparing for the act, trying to do college research, stage managing a musical, and trying not to lose my mind, here are some fun n handy tips for not Dying when ur schedule is hell!  

if you found this post helpful maybe give it a like/reblog and check out my other posts here!

01 | PLANNING AND PREPARING

so much of getting and staying organized has to do with organizing your time in advance.  there are a million ways to do this--google calendar, a bullet journal, a planner, some post-it notes.  my system involves three parts: a google calendar, a planner, and an online to-do list app.  

google calendar: this is mostly for events.  i can see when i have rehearsals, classes, doctor’s appointments, etc.  this helps me see how much available time i have and budgeting it properly.  

planner: i take this with me to school, and i use it to right down when i have assignments and tests.  i use the ban.do planner, but these are a bit pricey, and really anything will do.  just somewhere to put down tasks so you can keep track of them

getplan.co: this app is, honest to god, the only reason i am still alive and breathing.  it plugs into your google calendar and then allows you to create and schedule tasks around events.  @studycxlture has an amazing post about plan here that i def recommend checking out!

general tips about planning: 

plan out the events of your month at least two days before it starts

set aside a night (i like sunday evenings) to set up a system for the upcoming week and go over what you have planned so you don’t forget anything

you are NOT gonna remember that assignment that teacher told you about.  write it down.  

you do not need a fancy system.  it’s okay to try lots of different things until you find what works 

never spend more time planning out tasks than completing them.  unless you have that much free time, don’t dedicate two hours to making a lovely weekly bullet journal spread.  

color codes!!! are a life saver.  i have one with a color for each class (red for english, orange for spanish, yellow for history, green for science, blue for math, etc) as well as some for my extracurriculars (pink for the musical, teal for model un, etc).  

always have ur planner open when ur working, so that you can make sure u r actually completing all the tasks u said u were gonna complete

02 | STAYING ORGANIZED 

oh my god oh my god oh my god staying on top of your work is SO important when you’re busy.�� being able to find your worksheets and keep track of your homework and your million responsibilities is essential to being successful.  to stay organized, i have an expandable file folder with tabs for each class.  because i take most of my notes in notebooks instead of binders, this is a good way to keep all of my handouts, worksheets, and syllabi centralized.  

also, make sure you have a way to keep your online materials organized.  create a folder for each school year, and within that folder, create more folders for each class.  from there, it’s up to you about how you’ll organize files. you can create even MORE folders (yeet) for things like homework, notes, study guides, etc, or folders for each unit you study.  the possibilities are endless!!!! isn’t technology exciting

here r some pieces of advice for staying organized: 

have a series of folders/binder/expandable file folder to hold your worksheets.  or one for each class, though i prefer to keep all my papers in one a) to save money and b) to save space.

label your notebooks/binders so that you know which ones to bring home with you

never just shove something into your backpack.  never.  i’m gonna manifest into ur classroom and FIGHT you if u do that.  it’s not good, it’ll end up getting lost or crushed under the weight of all ur textbooks, and you’ll end up panicking when u can’t find it 

have ur planner on u at all times

keep a good filing system of ur stuff at home.  u don’t need to carry around every single bio assignment you’ve gotten back, but by the time ur final rolls around ur gonna want 2 b able to look at all the materials you’ve gotten during the semester

that being said, throw stuff away when the year is over!  i, for one, know i’m never gonna think about calculus after this class is done, so i will be recycling all of my papers (save the earth) and moving tf on 

keep a recycling bin in your room!  even if it’s just a paper bag, it’ll make throwing paper in the trash way less tempting (save the earth)

u don’t need a ton of pens.  i’m being a giant hypocrite saying this but you really don’t need all that stuff.  if you want it and you can manage it, great, but if it’s just another thing to keep track of, leave ur staedtlers and ur mujis and ur fineliners and ur calligraphy pens at home, and just take the essentials with u to school

03 | MAKING THE MOST OF UR TIME

in order to succeed, it’s v important to make every second count.  this doesn’t mean studying 48 hours straight (pls don’t), but try not to waste time. whether this means you spend fifteen minutes napping, doing some reading for english, or having a quick snack, make sure u are being productive and healthy!  i, for one, sometimes have 1-2 hour breaks between school and rehearsal, and i like to use these to walk to the grocery store by my school and get some food and then study in the deli.  

some ideas for being productive! 

carry a clipboard around everywhere.  this way, u don’t need to spend as much time transitioning in and out of tasks, u can just put ur work onto the clipboard, and put it in ur backpack at the end of a break, and then the next chance u have to work on it, just take it back out.  easy peasy

work during commutes! nOT if ur the one driving the car though that’s VERY dangerous and distracted driving = bad.  but if ur on the bus, or ur mom is driving u to school, that might be a good time to go over some notes you took last night, or some reading you need to catch up on.  nothing too insane, please don’t do ur chem labs on the public bus but.  u know.  

read over the notes you took that day on the ride home.  this will help reinforce the information in ur brain, and it’s not super difficult. i go over my apush notes during the 40 minute drive home and sometimes talk about them w my mom, which gives me a much better grasp of the material

don’t waste time on social media.  either delete instagram altogether, or log off/mute notifications before u start work.  same with tumblr.  don’t start scrolling obsessively if u have three tests to study for. 

power naps!!!! napping for about 10-20 minutes, maybe on the way home or to practice/rehearsal/whatever u gotta do, can help u feel refreshed!  anything longer will make u more tired tho, so be sure to get up when u say ur gonna get up.  

study smarter: when ur going over material, u don’t need to handwrite 60 beautiful flashcards.  use quizlet instead.  don’t revise if it’s not gonna help u.  prioritize which assignments r gonna be most impactful over the little ones u can easily make up

take good breaks!! breaks r VERY important and should be utilized properly.  here r some good suggestions for things to do: 

throw in a load of laundry

empty the dishwasher

stretch/do some jumping jacks

drink some water!

go for a walk

talk to a family member 

get a snack!

read some fun novels n such

scream?

!! in case of emergency !! the following tips should only be employed when ur short on time.  don’t use these just bc u can, this is just when it’s about getting close enough to grasping material, not actually grasping it

do every other math problem assigned, and either star the ones u didn’t do, or get the answers from the back of the book.  this way, u get some practice but u also save time

sparknotes ur reading beforehand.  this way, u can recognize what’s going on.  it’s not v good for developing ur reading comprehension, but assignments will go by quicker

NEVER google translate ur language homework, but u can use word reference for helping u find the right word and proper conjugations

flagpole it: didn’t study enough for a test?  are u guessing on like 10 of the questions?  if it’s multiple choice, but the same answer for all the ones u have no clue about, unless that answer choice seems highly unlikely.  then pick a different one.  this way, ur statistically more likely to get some of the ones you guessed correct. 

when u have an online assignment due at midnight and it’s 11:53 and u haven’t started, find another assignment you’ve already completed that has a similar document name.  for example, “scarlet letter chapters 9-11″ instead of ur actual assignment “scarlet letter chapters 12-14″.  submit the other one, and then when u finish the other assignment (either that night or the next morning) email ur teacher and apologize, say u accidentally submitted the wrong document

if ur parents will let u (if ur in high school) or u can let urself (if ur in uni), it’s okay to skip a day to catch up.  just make sure u actually work, get the notes u missed, and talk to ur teachers/professors abt the material u missed.

04 | STAYING HEALTHY 

ur health comes before any assignment, test, or extracurricular.  i know lots of ppl r probably telling u that and it doesn’t seem like they mean it, but i mean it.  no exam is worth sacrificing ur mental, physical, or emotional health for.  yeet!  so here r some things to keep in mind

eat!  ur fuckin!  breakfast!  whether it’s a smoothie or oatmeal or a cup of orange juice or an apple or an elaborate french toast dish, u need some food in ur stomach so that u have the energy to start ur day

remember to take ur meds if u need to!

drink water!  drink! water!  have a glass when u wake up, and then at least one with every meal, and one before u go to bed.  hydration is v important.  if u can, invest in a water bottle and take it with u to class.  

pack a lunch!  and if ur staying later after school, pack snacks!  tech week for me is always hell because i get to school at 7:30 am and don’t usually leave until 11 that night.  it’s v important to stay nourished and hydrated so that u don’t get dizzy or faint.  

remember!  that u are beautiful, and ur body is beautiful, and it deserves 2 b loved! especially by u.  

get 6 hours of sleep.  aim for 8, but six at the very least.  if ur done with ur work, go to bed early!  don’t just stay up for no reason.  

shower everyday, or every other day at least.  give yourself those 15 minutes as a break from work or school or anything else that’s keeping you busy

write down ur thoughts in a journal?  

talk to a friend if ur feeling sad, or just feeling things very intensely.  share ur joy with other people!  vent ur sadness and anger so u aren’t carrying it around everywhere. 

make some time to have fun.  see a movie w ur friends or ur bf/gf/datefriend or ur family over the weekend.  go to a museum.  hang out at the mall.  sleepover at someone’s house.  taking breaks is healthy.  

make an effort to have dinner with ur family if u can (also if u like ur family.  i know some ppl have bad relationships w them so skip this step if that’s u).  it can be nice to reconnect w everyone, even when ur stressed or they’re annoying u, it can be nice.  

remember that it’s okay to be imperfect!  u don’t need to be good at a lot of things.  i got a b for the first time last semester, i just got a c on an apush test, i failed my driver’s test again yesterday.  but i also aced my math quiz, i celebrated six months of knowing my best friend, i walked my dog, i helped put a production together.  it’s okay to have rough days and bad days and bleh days, as long as you keep pushing through them and working for the days to get better.  

i love u!!! stay hydrated and nourished and get enough sleep.  put on some lotion if u have it available.  brush ur hair.  if u ever wanna ask a question, my ask box is always open!  <3

[channiekyun]

chick or chic?//cube ent./pd101//seonho

pairing: yoo seonho/reader genres: fluff, bullet list word count: 1870 summary: “he always stayed by you because of your smile, but what happens when the reason you lose your smile is him?” a/n: i think this is the longest thing i’ve ever posted but, dear by lord i love this boy. pls support him and his debut!!

baby chick debuting with a mini album?

an hour to write before I fall asleep?

bring it on.

ok,

you and yoo seonho have been friends since you were like 6 bc your moms both dropped you off at the same daycare center

how convenient right

but you haven’t met seonho ‘till a while so bear with me here

I like me some backstory to the story

you’ve been coming to the daycare center for 4 months

you were so-so at making friends, kinda shy, but most of the times energetic

like literal spikes of energy could be seen coming out of your back lmao

sometimes you’d be called out on it by some of the kids or supervisors but like

u didn’t care 

anyway, you’ve pretty much gotten your name thrown everywhere in the daycare center 

and you were just playing with blocks and crashing toy cars into them (that’s what kids do right?)

then suddenly some of or supervisors start coming to you with a cake with lit up candles

“happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear (Y/N), happy birthday to you!”

and your 6 yr old brain was all like-huh?

but then they told you to make a wish and you blew out the candles

and you know how things done can’t come undone?

well, there’s your explanation for that being done

and then everyone just started cheering

plus the supervisors were all like: “I can’t believe your already 6, (Y/N)! you’ve grown so much!!~”

but again you’re just like: “im already 6??!??”

but your 6 yr old self just thinks that this atonement for not celebrating your birthday before you even went to the center

keep in mind you’ve only been there for 4 months so

ppl kept crowding you and the adults just starting distributing the cake

and this boy that you’ve never ever seen before sits next to you 

and he just whispers into your ear “it’s my birthday too.”

“oh really? it’s not even my birthday today anyway!” you giggle

and this boy’s like huh

but seonho doesn’t do anything

nuh uh

he likes it when you laugh and smile

so you share your big slice of cake with him and play with him the entire day

you guys got picked up at the same time so your moms were just waiting by the door and you were saying bye and your moms were like “isn’t that just cute aww”

then suddenly one of the supervisors came and started bowing

“I’m sorry Mrs. Yoo and Mrs. (L/N), we switched up (Y/N)’s and Seonho’s birthdays so we ended up celebrating (Y/N)’s birthday today!”

and your moms were just like “that’s fine” but Seonho just looked a tad bit disappointed

and an unhappy Seonho makes an unhappy you so

you started crying, legit out of nowhere bc you felt so bad for him

plus you started screaming stuff like “it’s all my fault” and yea

and the adults try calming you down, but no, that didn’t work

but then seonho comes up and hugs you

and you surely calmed down while you held to his shirt

you felt reassured

and the grown-ups found this amusing

like you only met today but who knew?

next morning you brought a huge cake+a gift for seonho to make it up to him (ofc with your mum’s consent though)

you tell him to open his present and he did

what laid inside was a chick stuffie

it wasn’t big or anything, just average

and seonho’s grateful and all but he asks why you gave him that

“because you remind me of one?” you laugh

he likes to think that that laugh was also a present for him

and you play with him for the rest of the day

fast forward, your moms became acquainted then soon began to hang out with each other

which made you happy bc you got to see seonho more

when you guys were still at the daycare center you would bring him food

like juice boxes

but then like juice boxes turned to chocolate bars and then that turned into muffins

fast forward a little bit more to where you were now, both of you 14 and in high school, and you were still close af

oh and muffins turned to legit rice lunches bc he never had enough to eat lol

and you called him out on it a lot and he would either act offended or not care at all 

that’s where he got his love for food from~

there were a couple loose strings here and there but that happens

you shared secrets, shared friends, shared test answers

you even got close to his brother and he got close to your sibling(s)

but everyone knows there’s gotta be a secret here and there somewhere

but you made several plots at 2AM to get to the bottom of whatever he seemed to hide even though it may not be your business

you were each other’s businesses anyway, right?

anyway

seonho had a dream of becoming famous

you admired him for that

and the school was going to be hosting an event where he would be starring in

and you were proud and almost started shedding a few tears

you: *sniff* so proud~~

him: not again (Y/N)

when the day of the show came on, he acted like a stuck up celeb 

and you weren’t sure whether this was all just an act, or if it was just him but you weren’t gonna have this

you pulled him out of the corridor and slapped him just for him to get his sense back+you also gave him his rice box so

during the talent show when seonho was performing with the piano and singing you were videotaping him while standing up 

you: “yeS, WORK IT SEONHO. gUYS THATS MY BEST FRiEND” (a total regina goerge’s mom moment here guys)

you were that extra lmao that seonho was mixed abt what you did but he felt so happy so you just cuddled (non-romantically) at his house after the show

next morning, you were waiting for seonho out of his house so you could walk to school together

but oh

he JUST HAD TO WALK OUT OF THE HOUSE WITH A LEATHER JAckET INSTEAD OF HIS REGULAR OL’ CARDIGAN HUh ASDFGHJKL

((i tried to look up seonho in a leather jacket and there were no images, pls someone get him into one i will die omfg lord))

and you just walked like you usually do, but this time in silence and no hitting or kicking

was he acting cold again?

he wasn’t talking at all

and even ppl started to stare

you just kind of avoided him for the whole day

it’s the type of thing that would get on celeb headlines: ‘(Y/N) Splits From a Cold Seonho?!?’

you were walking down the hall just mindlessly, wondering what to do with that extra rice lunch you had in your bag

but then you hear a couple girls whispering in a corner:

“oh my god, did you see seonho at the show last night? he has so much talent”

“but like did you see him today? he’s wearing a leather jacket and acting all cold today haha”

“he even drove (Y/N) away today, and they’ve been friends since they got here”

“that’s pretty chic though to be honest lol”

and there were murmurs of agreement to the last girls statement

and once you got outside you started laugh

cuz they just started calling seonho “chic”

you never thought that you would’ve ever lived to the day where someone would call that tall, clumsy, cutesy boy something along the lines of “chic”

but you felt a pang of jealousy when the girl’s started talking about him

yes, you were aware of your own feeling, you weren’t stupid like that

you went to his house, said hello to his mom, and went to his room

you didn’t want to mess around with anything but there was one thing couldn’t keep your eyes off

that chick plush you gave him when you were 6

it was sitting on his bed

you picked it up and admired it but quickly set it down

on the high bookcase shelf there was another chick plush

so you reached for it and looked at it in your hands

it was the exact same one but with a bow? which makes you confused

“what are you doing?” you hear behind you

oh shit

“um-really nothing” you turned around to seonho still in his leather jacket

“uh, then (Y/N), why are you holding that?”

you dropped the plush on the ground

“holding what?”

seonho just looked at the floor, not responding

and naturally..

you took the opportunity to slap him

“why were you acting like that the entire day? why with the jacket, dude??”

and he looked up at you with honest eyes and quietly said “for you”

that’s when your entire world started crashing down

“..for...me.?”

“i thought that if i acted cool you’d like me better, I guess that didn’t work though..” his eyes still tracing an outline of the floor

“you acted cool, just so i would notice you more?”

“i guess.”

and naturally...

you took that opportunity to kiss him

and his eyes grew wide and he just hugs you like you usually would and it was all just so damn perfect

you pulled away and was all like “seonho, honey, I love you but can we get you into that cardigan instead of this stupid jacket”

and he just jeered at you with “I love you too (Y/N) dearie”

that’s how you went from making out with seonho in a leather jacket to cuddling on his bed with seonho in his oversized white cardigan (which was fckn adorable btw)

man, you would love having a relationship with seonho, anyone would tbh

you even spoon fed him the rice lunch you had packed in your bag

his mom would call your mom to tell you what the hell was happening at her house

you and seonho’s mom fangirling over your relationship with each other

at the next show, you and seonho had a duet with him playing the piano and you singing

he got you a matching leather jacket and you were like “ew no,” but after he saw your reaction he made puppy eyes and said “but couple’s outfits” and you just said “i’m sold, just for gags though, seonho”

a happy seonho

a beagle seonho

you match each other so perfectly bc if soulmates were real, and they are, you found your match

one time you were helping seonho catch up on homework in an empty classroom after school and you got curious

“hey, seonho, what was that chick plush doing on top of your bookcase. it looks similar to the one i gave you”

he blushed and shyly said, “i was going to give it to you for your birthday..”

and you just kiss him

and when you pull away you say: “I can’t believe they would call a baby chick chic..”

ps i realized how bad i was at summaries mianhae

[themostrandomfandom]

hey! i've been reading your old ask replies religiously for the past couple days so i've gotta ask what some of you "random" headcanons are, like nicknames, maybe stuff abt britt's sister? i'll take basically anything lol

also, whats your general headcanon on what happened post “new directions” for brittana? bc the 5x20 “explanation” didn’t really explain anything & in 6x03 santana says they should start living together so what exactly do you think they had been doing up until that point?

Hey, @tryingtoohardddd!

So I wrote this little “fix it” patch that is basically my headcanon for what Brittana get up to between episode 5x14 and episode 5x20.

The TL;DR version goes as follows:

Between episodes 5x14 and 5x18, Brittana go on a ten month vacation because the Glee writers can’t keep track of their own timeline.

Despite what Brittany later says in episode 5x20, the girls do indeed make it to both Lesbos AND Hawaii as planned.

Brittana then return to NYC together circa the events of episode 5x18.

However, because Brittany is about 900000000% done with Rachel Berry the New Directions, she lays low while Santana interacts with them.

While Santana crashes at the Jones-Evans-Anderson brownstone, Brittany stays with some dancer friends who are attending Julliard.

During this time, Santana works at the diner while Brittany searches for a job of her own, the plan being that once they save up enough money, they can move in together. Unfortunately, Brittany does not have much luck on the job front.

Brittana see each other pretty much every day during this time, but they never let on to the other glee kids that Brittany is in NYC. Because the glee kids are the glee kids, they also never really ask Santana where Brittany is or what she’s doing or even how their vacation was.

Eventually, Santana gets offered a chance to star in another Yeast-I-Stat commercial. Mercedes also offers Santana the chance to sing backup on the Park and Bark tour.

Santana knows that between the tour and commercial gigs, she will make enough money to help her and Brittany rent their own apartment. Still, she is reluctant to leave Brittany for so long to go on the road.

Brittany’s solution is to finally reveal her presence in NYC to the New Directions and get Mercedes to hire her as a background dancer.

Cue the events of episode 5x20.

Brittana then tour around the US with Mercedes for about five months.

At the end of the tour, they either return briefly to NYC where they both live with Mercedes OR they go straight from their last tour gig back to Lima circa the events of episode 6x02. Take your pick.

Either way, they’re still in a place where they’re looking to finally move in together in New York—for the first time sans roommates—per their discussion in episode 6x03.

They remain in Lima as they prepare for their wedding, and then they move back to NYC once they are lawfully wife and wife.

As for random headcanons, I put a bunch of ‘em after the cut.

_______

So these are mostly Mouseverse, but you can wedge ‘em in to make them fit canon, too, if you like:

Brittany’s dad refers to Santana as “Santana-banana.” Santana always blushes at the nickname, but secretly she likes it because it makes her feel like part of the family.

Brittany’s dad calls Brittany “Brittany Sue,” which is something that of all Brittany’s friends only Santana knows.

Brittany has saved every card, note, and valentine Santana has ever given her over the years, and she keeps them in a secret box in her closet. During the events of S2 when Brittany is dating Artie and she and Santana aren’t really hanging out so much, she sometimes pulls the box out and reads through its contents and has a long cry because she just misses Santana so much, and she doesn’t know how to make things right between them. Of course, on a happier note, once she and Santana actually get together during S3, she has to get a bigger box because Santana is constantly giving her the sweetest love letters all the time, and her collection grows exponentially over the course of just a few months.

Long before she came out, Santana used to have a pretty massive crush on Brittany’s lookalike older cousin, who was a star on the women’s volleyball team at Bowling Green. Of course, Santana never framed her feelings as a crush. She just talked a lot about how the cousin was pretty much the coolest person ever and followed her around like a puppy whenever they were in the same place together. Brittany didn’t get why Santana was so obsessed because, in her opinion, her cousin was kind of boring and didn’t even have an interesting college major. Later on, after Santana is out and she and Brittany are dating, both Santana and Brittany look back on the situation and laugh because, holy shit, little baby gay Santana had it sooooooo bad.

Brittany’s little sister was born when Brittany was nine years old. In my stories, I never actually refer to her by her given name because Brittany and Santana call her mean nicknames like “runt,” “pint-sized,” “pipsqueak,” “brat,” and “rugrat” pretty much all the time. But her given name is Ashley Elizabeth.  

Brittany’s sister secretly idolizes Santana and Brittany, but she never lets on that she does. Instead, she is typically snarky to them, much like Santana is to the New Directions. 

Santana likes ketchup on her macaroni and cheese, and Brittany teases her for it because to her that’s super gross.

Santana sleeps on the left side of the bed. Brittany sleeps on the right. They’ve had their chosen sides worked out since long before they were ever officially a couple.

For as tough as Santana acts sometimes, she gets really scared at horror movies. Brittany never makes her watch them when they’re alone together—even though Brittany actually likes horror movies and is herself something of a buff—but sometimes when they’re at parties or hanging out in groups, they don’t have a choice. On the occasions when Puck decides to pop in a Freddy Krueger movie to fill out a Friday night or when someone has already got Paranormal Activity playing by the time they show up to the yearly Cheerios Halloween bash, Brittany makes a point to ask logistical questions about the movies from start to finish, pointing out plot holes as she does so (“Wait. Shouldn’t someone have found the bodies in the hospital where Jason left them? Why is that guy saying they disappeared?” “How come the demon in Regan freaked out if it was only tap water the priest sprinkled on her? Shouldn’t it have known it wasn’t holy water?”). She puts on a good show, pretending like she just genuinely doesn’t understand movie mechanics, and no one can really yell at her for asking, because, well, she’s Brittany. Still, everyone gets super annoyed because the continuity mistakes she’s noticing are real, and remaining immersed in the story world becomes intensely difficult once you know they’re there. Even though no one else appreciates her making it impossible to suspend disbelief as they watch, Santana is always grateful because Brittany’s questions help her to not feel so scared and to keep her street cred in public. Rather than getting hung up on killer clowns and vengeful ghosts, she can just laugh when Brittany points out obvious, glaring mistakes (“That’s right. God, these directors should hire you to check this shit”).

One of Santana’s favorite scents is sweetpea because that’s what Brittany’s body spray smells like.

Brittana have keys to each other’s houses. During S2 while Brittany is dating Artie, Santana wonders if she should give her key to Brittany’s house back, but ultimately she doesn’t because Brittany never asks for it. Brittany doesn’t mention it, but Artie never gets a key.

If you were to ask the glee kids, they would probably say pink or purple or even rainbow, but the truth is that Brittany’s favorite color is brown because that’s the color of Santana’s eyes. 

Thanks for the question!

[raindrop-rouge]

How well do you know your best friend?

Original post here. Answer these questions about your bff, your tumblr bff, or just anyone you want to show a lot of appreciation on here to!!!!

I was tagged by @chiruchill and will answer the questions about her (and tagging her back!!!). Tagging @shulkie @milleandra-nebula @crying-abt-fictional-people , uh chiru also tagged @glassesgirl0401 and @gray-x-natsus-matching-hip-scars  but it didn’t seem to work? idk guys feel free to spread the love but also feel free to ignore!!! (I HIGHLY recommend getting the questions from the original post, I rambled for MILES in every single question you don’t wanna read the below trust me)

1. What is your best friend’s dream job, and why? Man, idk that you’ve ever blabbed about something specific, like I know you’d love to run a café with me, or a library with your mom, or any kind if small store like that... Obviously I know you were ready to invest a lot of time and effort into teaching too... Any job that would give you enough time and self management to allow you to spend time with your dogs really ahaha

2. What is their biggest pet peeve, and why do you think that is? The main one is people being 1)  messy and 2) loud. A few weeks ago I would have just said “well you’re considerate and wish they could be too”, but I said I’d be brutally honest about this and girl... I read something a little while ago and I am genuinely worried your hyperawareness of everyone around you stems from something more specific, but we can talk about it whenever

3. What is their favourite TV series (live action)? LMAO GO AWAY I GET THE MESSAGE I will watch Arrested Development asap

4. What is their favourite TV series (animated)? Ahaha you’ve recommended a lot of quality comedies to me over the years, do you have an ultimate fave though? I know there was that group of school girls comedy gdi I watched it but forget the name >< welp

5. What does your best friend value most in life, and why? (Do you think they value most what they say they do, or something else?) Holy shit ok this goes right back to a thing the guys were talking about earlier. I’m gonna say your dogs, like you do say you do :p If we’re talking values in people/ ways of life... What the guys brought up was that you say you only want a simple life with just what we need, but... well, I guess we all know none of us have ANY idea what a minimal life is like, so I’d say what you mean by that is, you do value the life standard we currently have, where we never have to worry about a solid roof over our heads, food, and enough money left to support your pets. So yeah, my answer is 1) your dogs, and 2) the kinda life where we can support them x)

6. How would you describe their style, and how would they describe it? Colorful (but that’s how us French see all Scandinavians tbh), comfortable, like effortless but still cute? You’d probably agree it’s colorful but then say it’s not “stylish” though XD I think you just really like cute things but muuuuch prefer comfort first

7. If you were to decorate a room for your best friend, what would it look like, and why? !!!!! Aaahhh I’m a shit decorator with no taste, but I’d keep it minimal cause that’s how you feel best! A massive bed for you and your dogs, maybe nice tall lights you can reach from the bed but light the room well... A bookshelf... A pretty big desk... I’d want to add lots of plants and pillows, but idk if you’d want that clutter :/ Colors would be white beige and either pastel green or pastel pink.

8. What do you think their best quality is? You know how during a mario kart race you can see the names shuffle on the side as players cut in front or fall behind, that’s what your qualities are doing in my head now... You’re patient, so strong and independent (which I admire endlessly), generous, smart, but I guess what really sets you apart from me is your specific sense of humor and just wit in general??? idk how to explain, it’s not just that you make me laugh, it’s everything you say, I know only you would come up with that at that moment. It’s a big part of what makes me so excited when I’m around you, and a big part of why I miss you so badly when I’m not.

9. What does your best friend think their best quality is? Would they agree with you? Yee you think you’re funny and you’re right :p  Unless now you think your patience is your top quality given how much you’ve put up with lately

10. What is your best friend’s favourite book (or book series)? The Hobbit

11. What do you have in common with your best friend? LMAO our shitty sense of humor... Omg what else though :o we’re really different... maybe how difficult we are when it comes to really letting people in? idk please answer this one better than me

12. How did you meet, and what was your first impression of your best friend? First day of uni!!!! I was lost and confused, she had papers and was alone and therefore less intimidating, I asked her where she got the documents from... And once I got them, I think sheeee was the one to offer we sit next to each other while I was munching on my apple ahaha. I missed the next meeting, but after that she saw me at the bus stop, and offered to wait for the bus with me??? Kindest thing anyone had ever done for me at that point in my life, so yeah... How far we’ve come :’) Very first impression though... “she looks reasonable enough to talk to... Oh she’s nice... Yay she’s really nice!!!” ahaha

13. What does your best friend spend their free time doing, and why do you think they choose to do what they do? Reading, petting the dogs, watching stuff, gaming... It’s escapism isn’t it babe :’) Anything that’s relaxing and distracts you from whatever is happening irl

14. Who is their favourite fictional character, and why? Luigi cause he wears green lmao and cause he’s like the “second” brother and therefore deserves more love

15. What’s the first thing you tell other people when you talk about your best friend? “So Chiru - she’s my best friend and you’ll be hearing about her every day -” ACTUAL LINE SERVED TO ALL MY CO-WORKERS. And then I tend to say we lived together for 2 years, and that I miss you a lot

16. What’s your favourite story about them? Is there a single fave...How we met, how we came to do our groceries together and suddenly became unseparable, MY SURPRISE BDAY x2, coming to cheer for me at cheer, casually inviting me to your home, Nice (omg you reading Scandinavia and the world to me!!), our Japan travels, everything, right up to getting your last dog, is a highlight in my life

17. What’s your least favourite story about them? :))) fuck if I am telling that on here. Oh shit I said I’d be honest. Look... I think sometimes you forget I’m pretty insecure and basically any minor (or... you know... not so minor) event that makes me think maybe you’ll leave me behind after all is just like. uhm. “least favorite stories” is a mild way to explain how I feel about those times

18. Why do you think you two ended up becoming best friends? My dudes I wonder a lot. I know it’s so much more than just living together, if anything that makes most people hate each other. It’s shared values, willingness to make balanced efforts for each other, an endless stream of ideas for fun coming from both sides, similar interests... I don’t know, but Chiru I am just so grateful everyday I did find you

19. Would you be honest with your best friend if they were happy doing something, but you think it might end up harming them in the end? Ouch. Ok well... The truth is sometimes I doooo worry, but I’m so convinced you know what you’re doing so much better than I do, that no, I tend to trust whatever you say, if you’re convinced (/telling me you’re convinced) that what you’re doing isn’t harming you, I’ll believe you. At least, that’s what I tell myself... A part me of does worry, though, that I just don’t speak up because you’ll already have all the arguments ready and we’ll just unnecessarily argue about it, and I’ll end up hurt, and yes exactly it’s as bad as it sounds, I’m worried I wouldn’t want to fight you over your happiness in case it would result in hurt feelings. I’m a mess, this is terrible and I gotta work on that

20. Does your best friend play any instruments? Why do you think they chose that instrument? BISH SAYS SHE CAN SORTA PLAY THE GUITAR AND PIANO BUT HAS SHE PLAYED FOR ME YET, I THINK NOT. I am unappreciated, where is my serenade (jk jk, I realy doooo wanna hear you play though!!)

21. Do you and your best friend have a dream for the future, if so, what is it? Move in with me please it’s the one thing that keeps me going

22. What is one thing you have always wanted to tell your best friend, but never have? :)))) ((((: *digs through a million letter drafts and hell, fic drafts, we all know where my inspiration comes from anyway* Sigh... Well first of all I need you to know you’re the most beautiful and kind soul I have ever encountered. Please get that through your head. Secondly... I don’t think I’d have EVER brought this up, but that’s what the question is aiming for, isn’t it... You probably only held my hand in Barcelona because I was so black-out wasted you were worried I wouldn’t follow you home otherwise, but it made me sort of ridiculously happy, and I guess I wouldn’t mind if it happened again

23. What do you think your best friend’s life will be like 10 years from now? What I’m thinking or wishful thinking hah... Thinking, well... deep breath, you’ll be alright :) You’ll have a comfortable home somewhere you like, with a job that suits you. You’re too stubborn to settle for any less. Your dogs are with you, of course. And so is whoever will be lucky enough to be chosen by you. You can guess based on that what the wishful thinking is

24. What song makes you think of your best friend? IT’S 4:18 AM AND HONESTLY THERE ARE SO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM (anything from Just Dance tbh XD) BUT I CHOOSE THIS GEM (45:21) because fukkit it’s cold as heeeeck in my room right now and I’m only listening to this kind of music

25. Just to end on a mean note, what’s your best friend’s worst personality trait? (Be honest now, guys, none of that “they’re just too kind” bullshit) Worst? You wanna hear something crazy... Well you know I miss you, I always do and have been for so long now, but once I thought maybe if I listed everything that maybe weren’t the beeesst parts of your personality, and all the parts of my personality that probably annoyed you, I’d force myself to accept that maybe it’d be best for us to stop living together... And gdi I tried. But it’s just a really ridiculous list ... or at least it was, until that one night... Remember when one of my friends took my phone and texted you quite extensively, and that went really really badly? Well here’s the moment of truth: (hey it’s 4:25 now and I was out) I had broken down sobbing after you compared me to your dogs again :’) Look, sober me can rationally process your way of thinking. But... I guess deep down, we’re not the same, I want to be loved and appreciated like a human being. I’m genuinely sorry I couldn’t bring myself to tell you this sooner, idk what I was so scared of. So, uh, “worst” personality trait (which really isn’t one but)... omg I can’t even phrase this without turning it against myself ahaha, like it’s my own fault for telling you that everything was fine when it wasn’t. So look this isn’t even about your worst personality trait, I guess it’s me realizing I gotta stop lying about crap, and I hope you’ll be considerate and understanding like always :’) 

[ariyadaivaris]

artemidi replied to your post “boy oh boy i sure hope nobody asks about the embarrassing sappy au i...”

I need......more info on this.....blease

i’ve GOT more info on this don’t you even worry your sweet fred head about it !!

nxt’s tag team division is, to say the least, KIND OF...UH...BORDERLINE NONEXISTENT AS OF LATE and so when the time comes to set up the dusty rhodes tag team classic they really end up needing to Scrumble something together! the original plan was that tyler (bate) (to name specific tylers) and jack would team up however long they needed to for the tournament, but oh NO tyler’s been gravely injured, probably by pete because he’s a motherfucker

jack is stuck without a partner and the tournament is stuck without the final team! regal puts out a desperate call for help and ariya decides to strike a deal because why would he team with jack motherfucking gallagher without something to gain from it

the deal is this: ariya teams with jack, withstands whatever mockery comes his way this time, carries the team through the tournament and when he wins, he gets a shot at the cruiserweight title. ariya is a difficult person to work with but desperate times calls for desperate measures, and so ariya and jack end up being the newest addition to the tag team classic! Oh What Drama ! 

things are TENSE, TO SAY THE LEAST

they have to take a bit of a hiatus from 205 so they can travel with nxt, some of the tournament matches take place at house shows and live events and they do still need to work together as a team outside of the tournament if only because they’d be completely fucked otherwise! jack still can’t drive so ariya (dear sweet ariya who can’t drive for shit) is the official pilot in their travels, and jack is...an...interesting co-pilot

the first few weeks are mostly ariya giving jack Ze Silent Treatment while jack refuses to shut up ever and it’s kind of an awkward uneasy dynamic, even after they win their first tournament match through SOME MIRACLE

ariya finally talks to jack during a drive because jack stumbles onto the topic of musicals and says some things and ariya gets very heated very easily and it MIGHT turn into a cutting discussion about the accessibility of theatre and of bootlegs, and about who and what gets visibility in mainstream media and who and what gets nominated for tonys, etc, but its the most fun ariya’s had in awhile and they both kinda learn smth from it and from then on ariya’s more willing to like. at least talk to jack. and it’s...disappointingly...very nice

i feel like during a house show ariya gets trapped in the corner and almost gets dropkicked but jack manages to get to his corner and use his umbrella as kind of a makeshift shield to throw off their opponent and give ariya time to collect his wits and it’s maybe a silly thing to think about but its cute imo! my city now! 

after their second round match, which they almost accidentally win (against reDRagon, no less, bc let’s be real while we’re being self indulgent here i DO care more abt this storyline than about those two probably very talented but uninteresting slices of white bread), jack compliments ariya’s performance in the match and ariya doesn’t take it well because like. to this point he’s only thought jack’s just been humiliating and mocking him for no fucken reason since they met, and why wouldn’t he turn up this opportunity to backhandedly insult ariya now. and jack doesn’t KNOW that, and so ariya starts giving him a cold shoulder again for no reason as far as jack knows. OOH this drama. OOH this suspense

after they make it to the semi-finals (which no one was expecting, and certainly not them, honestly), they’ve gotta go to a press event with the other semi-finalists and it’s maybe not the most plot relevant thing but ariya does clean up really nicely and jack is maybe a little distracted the entire time because holy shit

and maybe then jack kinda realizes he hasn’t been engaging in a rivalry with ariya so much as maybe he’s had a dumb awful crush on him this entire time and not known how to realize that or express it and spends the night trying to keep his composure (because who is jack gallagher if not composed) while internally just writhing in embarrassment and agony and going “oh nnnnNNNOOOOOOO oh my goddd what did i DOOOO why did i DO that oh noooooOOOOOooOOooOoo” and its a rough night! 

and ariya sees jack being less than 100% during all this and sees it as Oh He Doesn’t Care, Of Course, Why Would He, and he’s pissed because he really thought they were getting somewhere as a team, and alas here they are and jack isn’t even paying attention to what’s happening, what a rude asshole as fucking always, and ariya MAYBE--just maybe--maybe just fuckin clocks jack in the face after jack tries to tell him he handled that really well

and jack sincerely admires that ariya remained pretty composed and serious and focused even when jack was busy trying not to wither into embarrassed gay dust but ariya only hears that as jack intentionally leaving ariya to his own devices and mocking how shitty a job he did

(not that ariya would ever say he thinks he did a shitty job, but in his heart he DOES want to do well and be a worthy contender, and opponent, and partner, and he knows he gets lucky a lot and so when he DOESN’T and when he’s painfully in control of the things that happen to him everything feels amplified and clumsy and Wrong and jack’s not helping lmao. i love drama)

obviously this isn’t received well and jack and ariya get into a brawl and they have to get broken up by their coworkers in attendance and ariya’s just yelling WHAT DID I EVEN DO TO YOU ASSHOLE, WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM

jack stays with mustafa and lince for the night because ariya straight up threw his bags outside the door of their room and locked him out and jack plays the words back and he’s like Wait...Maybe I’m Misunderstanding The Situation Here

and the next morning he goes to talk to ariya 

(who answers the door looking just fine and who hasn’t been alternating between uneasy sleep and furious tears all night, ariya’s fine) 

and he doesn’t like...get the nerve to go “hey i think i might be in love with you a bit” but he does manage to tell ariya he hasn’t been mocking him, and he’s been sincere this whole time, and he’s genuinely sorry he’s been a dick to ariya since they started on 205, but ariya, to be fair, has also been a dick, maybe more in terms of beating people up but jack’s sorry about what’s been happening, and ariya doesn’t have to accept that apology, and if ariya wants to forfeit their semi-finals match, he understands entirely

and ariya’s just like “yo what the fuck are you kidding i’ve still got a title shot on the line and we’re gonna win this, get in the car, it’s cool or whatever cmon lets GO” and he’s a bit flippant about it but for some reason he wants to...start grinning like an idiot and never stop again? for some reason? weird

things aren’t just all Cool suddenly after that because when i say i love slow burn shit i MEAN like, years, they’re still only barely allies but something’s There and that’s endgame, don’t play with me, we’ve gotta get face!ariya calling for a parlay with heel!jack in between here and The Datening for me to feel truly alive but thats just my humble imho

also they lose in the finals but ariya puts on enough of a performance to merit a title shot anyway and after the loss they might not work as a team anymore and they’re back to their own stories on 205 but before they get back to the hotel and get cleaned up and wash off the grime of bitter bitter defeat ariya finds jack sitting with his chin on his knees in the stairwell and sits silently with him and they maybe hold h*nds for like the BRIEFEST of minutes and never talk about it again but like. we’ve gone this far with this shitty badly written self-indulgent embarrassing post right? try and stop me

just kidding im stopping myself now. i hate that i wrote all of this. im gonna kill myself thanks