#still getting better
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Checking tack.
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Horse girlies: Do yall think Epona is girthy? 🤔
I bet she’s nipped at Link at least a few times, she a is a mare after all.
#my art#artist of tumblr#tumblr artist#fanart#art#sketchbook#colored pencils#totk link#totk fanart#totk epona#epona#tloz link#tloz fanart#no one pay attention to her bit okay#I changed my mind like 8 times#but she’s a working horse and a draft so she gets a heartier bit#horse#the number of times I ve had mares nip at my shoulder just to be brats#horse drawing practice#still getting better#I’ll be there one day#to clarify for the horse girlies: I adore mares but I also Know them#my fave girl is a cow biter and she’s an angel and mean as hell and perfect
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Expertise can't help you here.
#dungeon meshi#kabru#laios touden#falin touden#Happy Thistle Thursday once again. Have I been holding on to this comic for several weeks? Sure have!#I forgot how long it takes for Chimera Falin to come into play.#I still really love my 'better drawn' art of her - unfortunately it was several weeks too early for the anime only folks.#Slowly getting the hang of drawing Laios. I don't know why I struggle so much but I am getting...somewhere.#Meta time: God damn I love how the chimera shows off the expertise and gap between Kabru and Laios.#The truth is: they are both *right* and they are both *wrong*.#This creature is a combination of monster and human and they only have the skillset to deal with one of those.#Kabru goes for all the human vitals - but she isn't human.#Laios tries to approach her as a monster and is struck down by the humanity he sees in her.#She is something new that defies what they *both* understand about the world. And that makes her such a perfect antagonist.#The damsel was the dragon all along!#...She is really so cute though. Terrifying! But adorable. I am so excited to see the boom of fanart for her.
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So change of plans for HRT. It was hard to accept coming to that decision, but I don't have the resources to go through with getting a doctor to give me it. The only reason I can't and chose not to is to save my family from getting in major strain with money. That being said, I'm finding ways every day to still make myself comfortable either way. I realized that for my entire life, even all the parts I can remember, I never really felt comfortable. In myself or in life. Transitioning, in whatever way I have to, will help - and it can help me heal from a big part of my trauma. I WILL find other ways, because I HAVE to. I'm already getting better at communication with everyone else, and it's both because of getting better AND can help that keep happening.
#kiyo/max#still getting better#transitioning and trauma#just getting it off my chest :) (pun not intended)
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the thing is that childhood doesn't just end when you turn 18 or when you turn 21. it's going to end dozens of times over. your childhood pet will die. actors you loved in movies you watched as a kid will die. your grandparents will die, and then your parents will die. it's going to end dozens and dozens of times and all you can do is let it. all you can do is stand in the middle of the grocery store and stare at freezers full of microwave pizza because you've suddenly been seized by the memory of what it felt like to have a pizza party on the last day of school before summer break. which is another ending in and of itself
#lucinda.txt#when i was 20 my theater teacher died and i thought i was also going to die#when i was 23 my childhood cat died and it was awful#all my grandparents are dead. liam payne from one direction has died.#it's like... okay. and you still have to wake up and go to work!#& i guess the idea is one day you'll get better at losing things#one day you just won't CARE that your childhood is over#i guess. but i doubt it.#1k#2k#5k
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I think my copy of the game is broken they've been doing this for 30 minutes
Crop of the Biolizard edit I did bc it makes me laugh:
#art#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#rouge the bat#their dynamic is so funny to me like hello what episode of Untucked is this#I am rotating them in a 2 bed 1 bath apartment in my mind#Also very proud of how this turned out I think I'm finally finding a comic rendering style that doesn't make me want to rip my hair out#Simplify baybee it's a comic not an illustration you can get a little crazy with it#Spoiler alert. Getting looser with lineart and better at colour schemes and simplifying shading. Is good actually.#It's so much easier to eyeball what a colour would look like in a setting instead of colourpicking the OG palette and struggling with...#...like 9 overlay and multiply and soft/hard light layers#Approximating colour genuinely looks better than forcing local colour into the piece. As long as the values are still there it works out#comic
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the illness post is still getting notes (???!! <3) and that means people are still telling me to get better soon, which is really nice but im gonna be too powerful if i get any better
#IM STILL SHOCKED AT HOW WELL THAT POST IS DOING LIKE 150K????????? I LOVE EVERY ONE OF YOU#lady normalgirl and her eunuch#it is rlly sweet that everyone says get better soon but i posted that at the tail end of being sick so its also comedic LOL#the tags on these posts always feel super empty bc i dont use my usual art/fandom tags so im just gonna write some random shit#btw tucker can and does stand at windows like that#i have picture evidence#hes a very long boi#my doods
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blindspot (part 1)
early access + nsfw on patreon monster!AU masterpost
#sorry to say that the boys are still going through it#im sorry alerudy fans i cant resist giving their relationship a little drama#but believe me they'll get through this and come out stronger on the other side#rudy just gets really frustrated when ale runs headfirst into a situation and gets hurt.#he gets to say “i told you so” but it doesnt make him feel any better about the situation#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#ghostsoap#monster 141 au#alejandro vargas#rodolfo rudy parra#giragi art
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As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.
For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.
But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.
Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.
#I'm so proud and happy for my coworker and I've been trying to figure out how to let him know how amazing I think he is#what gets me the most is that he's keeping this super down low to avoid giving any hints to his kid#he has a lot of queer friends so he already is known as an ally but there's always a chance it will be different if it's family#and he took that chance and crumpled it up into a ball and slam dunked it into the garbage for three points#and decided that even if his kid wants to hide it from him for the rest of his life he will still do what he can to make their life better#pflag#parents doing their best#parenting win#good news#allyship
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Company Mandated Fancy Fits on the Tulpar 😏
Also had to include the REAL star of the show (and a bonus)
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Based off of this and this. Thank you very much joetastic for being inspirational 👍
The REAL reason this is late
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#just pretend I posted this like 6 days ago 😁👍#<-got distracted#sorry I’m Afflicted with The Curse and everything just takes me a long time#also right now I’m just kind of being experimental with my workflow and style right now so stuff is just naturally taking a bit longer#mouthwashing#mouthwashing fanart#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#nurse anya#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing curly#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#myart#anyway my new years resolution is to put more WOMEN in SUITS and MEN in DRESSES#had fun drawing this but still not too sure about the rendering style just yet. probably just gonna keep playing around with shit#IM DOING IT SCARED but im DOING IT#im also still trying to figure out how to Social Media#am i doing it right#GRAAAHHHHHHH I NEED TO BETTER UNDERSTAND FORMATTING POSTS#i have a more serious mouthwashing piece in the works but wanted to get this done first lol#honestly I have a buncha sketches I should post too#i like them but they’re not really composited very well if you catch my drift. been having trouble with sketch page layout recently#which is kind of antithetical to the idea of a sketch page but you know how it is with spaghetti#i doodled the others on the side and liked how they looked so i just put some color and basic shading on them#edit: realized i forgot to change the color of the ‘lapel’ on jims shirt lol
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Kim Kitsuragi is a fascinating character because there's not that much fun or interesting or compelling about him. And yet somehow over the course of playing Disco Elysium the game rewires your fucking brain around him. He's the middest man you've ever seen in both appearance and personality but at some point he says something kind to you or something critical of you and you feel like you just got hit by a truck and you need his approval like you need oxygen and like how tf did this happen. what are you
#disco elysium#de#kim kitsuragi#i have an interdisciplinary degree in game design and psychology and i'm still unsure how they pulled this off#my best guess is that the early game beats you over the head with how much you suck and everyone hates you#and this allows for any genuine praise from another character to feel massive#the fact that he doesn't take pity on you ever contributes to praise from him feeling earned. like you CAN get better#whereas pity from lena or judit#while comforting#doesn't do anything to alleviate how pathetic you feel
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if you ever go to an art gallery and you see a painting and you think "that sucks. I could do that." maybe you can! I think a lot of people could do like. Matisse. Mondrian. Rothko. From a technical standpoint at least. Not everyone but a good number of people. But please consider: Artists™ aren't special people. They're just people. Just regular folks with something to say and a trained skill who showed that skill to the right people.
So instead of being like "that sucks! that's dumb! I could do that. It shouldn't be in a gallery." instead try, "I could do that. I should be in a gallery." and then do it and go and show your art to people.
#do a master study#how did it look? pretty okay? cool u have the technical skillset. find something to say with ur art. say it. go show it to people.#good is so so so subjective and '''technical''' '''mastery''' is meaningless ultimately#I am still beefing with Damien Hirst tho if you're Damien Hirst this post is not about you#get better at taxidermy Damien
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Nothing will dispell the "the curtains were just blue" myth faster than writing something yourself, because the amount of pretentious symbolism i am putting in my silly little fanfics is ridiculous. I mean SO much with these words, literally every single one of them. This fic has twenty five typos and zero correct uses of punctuation but if there's curtains you bet your ass I put thought into what colour they were.
#writing#fic writing#like this is stuff i'm doing for fun with my perfectionism meter turned down as far as i can get it#and i am still thinking about it A LOT#talk to me about how in red string fic jgy perceives the memory block both as syrup and as mud but nmj thinks it feels like blood#it's just a thing in their heads that mentally feels kind of thick and sticky but they both made something different of it#it's about issues with cleanliness / lies as a way to craft an illusion of a better lopking world vs the constant violence nmj lives in
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Honestly the cliche advice is true. If you fill your life w things you’re passionate about, if you challenge yourself every day, if you give your own opinion of yourself more weight than you do other people’s opinions of you, you will actually thrive. Like no one can tell u anything
#I’m just in a whole state of mind rn#there will always be ppl who try to bring u down but pursuing the things u love will help u rise above it.#I absolutely still get anxious / annoyed at things but I’m over it sm faster. and soon it won’t bother me at all.#or at least it’ll have a healthy duration. bc negative emotion isn’t always bad. negative emotion is important and we should not ignore it#but overall!! preserving my energy better. just need to work on my knee jerk responses & I’ll be set#text
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2/2
#“better late than never!” ahh post#this quote reminded me of ren's thought process during 2/2. its not supposed to reflect the canon dialogue. rather his internal monologue#had to adjust it a little to fit the context tho#anyway yea im clocking out happy shuake divorce day everyone#the fact that any reality where ren and akechi meet is always destined to end with akechi dying is so fucked up#persona 5 royal#persona 5#shuake#akeshu#goro akechi#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#lotus draws#something about akechi’s death always being a sacrifice…..its always so intriguing to me#like despite the fact that he embraces his identity as an assassin so thoroughly and even thinks virtue and righteousness is blithe#he still performs the most selfless act of all when he’s backed into a corner knowing he will lose#this could be read as a) he would rather go out on his own terms and die making a statement where he actively chooses to sacrifice his life#knowing that the enemy could never kill him in a way that matters bc he has never had an ounce of control his entire life#and for once at least he demands control over his death. if nothing else in his miserable life where everything was predetermined#OR b) deep down inside he still remembers the child he used to be who would idolize heroes and their justice#he may have been a villain his entire life but in that moment when he knows he’s doomed he’d rather let the “heroes” get the upper hand#by buying them time with his death. at least in one way he was able to live up the the childlike fantasy he so cherished#anyway yea auughh akechi….truly made to fuck me up
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oh. I think my fears about Chiefcake passing from old age were more on point than I realized. she's acting very weak right now.
and it's late on a friday, when all the rabbit-specific vets have closed. I'll call around anyway to see if at home euthanasia is an option tonight.
#I didn't expect it to be this soon#she's been sleeping more and urinating outside of the litter box#so I was planning on getting her on arthritis meds to see if those helped her move around better#but tonight......I know how animals act when they're dying.#something has gone wrong inside her#god these things always happen at night when the vets have closed 💀#all I can do is stay with her and try to make her as comfortable as possible#this sucks#at least she still feels good enough to eat the apple slice I'm offering and tooth-purr while being stroked
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98 lovemail doodles >_<
#trigun#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#nicholas d wolfwood#i was able to convince my friend to start 98 after we got back from AX HAHA and so i wanted to doodle the gang again ^_^#it's so funny how i always draw trimax ww super grumpy but then my 98ww is always such a goofy goober BAHAHA#trimax ww is still pookie to me tho dont get it twisted!!! ^_^#but yeah it's fun to decide how i want to differentiate between the different versions of ww#also i love 98 meryl so much she is so let me speak to the manager core (heart eyes)#and the color palette for vash i referenced from the lost july episode bc I LOVE IT SOOOO MUCH THE COLORS IN THE PLANT STATION SCENES#idk what it is abt it but it tickles my brain. so pretty T__T#man im fr that type of artist who is posting different versions of the same drawings on different platforms LOL#but yall on tumblr and ig get it better imo hehe. when i post on twitter im like fucket whatever#i usually dont post on tumblr/ig until a day or two later so by then i make a couple of changes/finish stuff/color stuff#so here u go enjoy the colored versions of these doodles HAHA
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